Welcome to My Weekly Mixtape, a podcast that
takes the classic mixtape approach to building
a modern playlist. I'm your host, Brian Colburn.
Joining me once again as guest curator is frequent
guest and fellow Pantheon Podcast Network mate,
Jason Whistle, host of the It's Not That Bad
and There Can Only Be One podcasts. Jason, welcome
back, my friend. Hi. Sorry, I was keeping it
short. I see what you did there. Well, I finally
reached episode 99 of my weekly mixtape, and
it's kind of feeling like the end of a cassette
side because next week, episode 100 drops. And
with that, the show officially enters into the
triple digits. So I should start by saying if
you've listened to even one of those 99 episodes,
thank you. But with all that said, earlier this
fall, I had posted up. to the My Weekly Mixtape
Patreon site, the first ever episode of my first
ever podcast, Tune Styles, which features frequent
collaborator here on My Weekly Mixtape, Jay Sweet.
And we talked about, go figure, the lost art
of the mixtape. And in that episode, we discussed
the end of side filler songs. Meaning if you
had a little bit of tape left at the end of a
cassette side. and you weren't 100 % sure you
had enough room for a full song, you needed to
fill that time while making sure the song didn't
get cut off mid -guitar solo. So with that, I
thought it would be fun as my last double -digit
episode to come up with a playlist that featured
those type of songs. So for me, my bank of tracks
wrote itself instantly. Jason, did you run into
a similar situation on your end? See, I got the
wrong memo. I heard episode 99 and I tried to
find every song about Wayne Gretzky that I possibly
could. And I might have the wrong song. No, no.
In all honesty, this is a fun one because I listen
to a lot of comedy music. I listen to a lot of
punk. And there's a lot just in those two genres
alone that have songs that are brief, if you
will. And you can't go wrong. Like, I'll admit,
I never sat there and timed out and did the math
as far as songs on a mixtape went. I was getting
to the point where I could take a look at how
much of the actual tape was left on the spool
and sit there and go, that looks like about two
and a half minutes. I think I can put this song
in, which tells me I made far too many mixtapes
in my day. But still, you always had to have
something in your bank. And maybe this kind of
fits as well into you'll probably relate to this.
Playing in a band, you sit there and you try
to figure out how many songs you can fit into
a 45 -minute set or an hour -long set. And the
worst part is when you're sitting in there playing
a New Year's Eve show and you realize that you
have about two minutes until you have to start
the countdown to New Year's Eve. And you sit
there and go, do we have a song that fits in
that? We did it once. We played Hash Pipe. But
we played it at like triple speed. I can't believe
my fingers were moving that fast. And at this
point, the audience is looking at us like, are
they on cocaine? Because I'm starting to think
that they're on cocaine. But no, you have to
have some of those short songs at the bank in
case you need to fill out just a little bit.
Well, I'm going to venture to guess that this
might be one of, if not the shortest playlist
in my weekly mixtape history. Jason, do you think
that tonight you and I can keep this playlist
below 30 minutes for all 20 songs? I think we're
going to have to call this the anti -Sean Faust
list because, as you know, Sean, who has been
on both of our shows, has a penchant for long
songs to the point where I remember correctly
when he was on There Can Only Be One doing the
Dream Theater episode, his playlist from that
episode equaled close to three hours long. So
there were some long songs. And for the record,
Brian would not let me put. The whirlwind by
Transatlantic on this cassette seems how it clocks
in at about 75 minutes. Well, since you answered
it that way, let's see how short we could keep
our short songs playlist tonight. I'm going to
keep track of the times of these songs as we
go through, and we're going to see how long tonight's.
playlist is. So with that said, let's get down
to business. Tonight, as I mentioned at the top
of the show, Jason and I will be curating the
ultimate short songs mixtape, and we'll use the
old cassette deck approach. Jason, as my special
guest, will begin side A with his first song
choice, and then I'll add a song that I feel
best follows up that choice. We'll then flip
-flop choosing songs until we've mapped out 10
songs for side A. We'll then give our mixtape
a proverbial flip and we'll map outside. Be only
this time, I'll kick things off with Jason choosing
second. Our overall goal for this episode is
to craft the best and possibly shortest short
songs mixtape possible through only 20 songs.
At the end of the show, you can take our conversation
to the next level by visiting the episode page
at myweeklymixtape .com to give our final mixtape
a listen. via the embedded playlist. And if you
like what you're hearing on the show, you can
help me out by either telling a friend, leaving
the show a five -star review wherever you're
tuning in, or becoming a Patreon mixtaper at
patreon .com forward slash My Weekly Mixtape.
There you can find ad -free episodes of the show,
gain early access to future My Weekly Mixtape
episodes, chime in on upcoming topics, become
a future guest, and so much more. And a few of
the Patreon mixtapers chimed in with songs they
would use to kick things off tonight. And I want
to give a shout out to a few of those. Chad LaMassa
chimed in with the Red Hot Chili Peppers' Pretty
Little Diddy. The original, which appeared on
Mother's Mel, clocks in at 135. Although if you're
listening on streaming, you're going to get the
2003 remastered version, which clocks in at 307,
which kind of takes us out of the short songs
list. But I know where Chad was going with this,
going with the 135 original. And yes, I did look
all of these up. Tom Hutchinson chimed in with
Agent Orange's bloodstains, which clocked in
at two minutes and six seconds. Jimmy Mitchell
chimed in with the letter by the Box Tops. That
song clocks in at a minute and 52 seconds. Seeker
chimed in with the Pixies' Broken Face, which
clocks in at 90 seconds. Mike Daly chimed in
with the intro to Van Halen's Little Guitars,
clocking in at 42 seconds. Sean Goff chimed in
with the White Stripes' Little Room, which clocks
in at 50 seconds. Philip Bergman chimed in with
Weird Al Yankovic's Harvey the Wonder Hamster,
which clocks in at 21 seconds, and Monty Python's
I Bet You Won't Play This Song on the Radio,
which clocks in at 55 seconds. Christopher Stile
chimed in with two songs from TNT, Sapphire,
which clocks in at a minute and 14 seconds, and
Smooth Syncopation, which clocks in at 49 seconds.
and Brandon from Virginia chimed in with SOD's
What's That Noise, which clocks in at 59 seconds,
and Dead Kennedy's Short Songs, all 28 seconds
of it. Once again, if you'd like to chime in
for future My Weekly Mixtape episodes, come join
the fellow mixtapers at patreon .com forward
slash myweeklymixtape. So Jason, with that said,
I'm officially pressing the record button on
our mixtape, and in the spirit of short songs,
Oh, the jokes are going to be going back and
forth here, aren't they? Okay. I'm going to preface
this pick knowing full well that what I'm about
to say is probably going to give Brian an idea
for a future episode of my weekly mixtape. So
I'm going to tease you with a good time here.
I'm just going to put it out there. But my song
is basically a crime because it comes from a
movie. But it never actually made the soundtrack.
Oh, I think I know where you're going. I think
I know where you're going. Clocking in at 12
seconds long. Yes! Wienerschnitzel by The Descendants.
Pump up the volume. First of all, I love the
pump up the volume soundtrack. I mean, it really
was so good. And maybe the best ever cover. of
a Leonard Cohen song thanks to Concrete Blonde.
But Descendants, Wienerschnitzel, first of all,
hilarious. But it's not on the soundtrack. Also,
neither is Dad, I'm in Jail. Neither is The Original,
everybody knows, from Leonard Cohen. Neither
is Love Comes in Spurts. Neither is Scenario
by The Beast. You could basically have Pump Up
the Volume, Volume 2, or you just, you know,
have an episode of my weekly mixtape of songs
from movies that never made the soundtrack. Not
saying, but I'm saying. Putting a pin in that
one as we speak. Although I will say that if
we ever, because, you know, Hollywood doesn't
really have original ideas. Somewhere down the
road, someone's going to come up with an idea
of like, all right, picture it. Pump up the volume,
a remake. But instead of like amateur radio,
it's a podcaster. I'm not going to lie. There's
a small part of my childhood that probably thinks
this podcast is in some way, directly or indirectly,
because of the first ever Triple H character
in my life. And no, I'm not talking about Hunter
Hearst Helmsley from the WWE. I'm talking about
Happy Harry. And you can watch the movie if you
don't know what that reference is. I can't remember
what actual episode of It's Not That Bad it's
on. But I remember Carrie actually watched this
movie so much. that she had the Eat Me, Beat
Me Lady poem memorized. I don't know whether
I should be impressed or scared. I absolutely
love the movie. I love the pic. It was on my
list. Of course it was on my list. I actually
had several Descendants songs on my list, depending
on which way you went and what you started with.
I had their four second all or the four second
no all. or the 17 -second I Like Food or the
34 -second Coffee Mug if you wanted to bring
some 90s descendants into the fold. But instead,
we kick things off tonight with the, according
to Spotify here, 12 -seconds -long Wienerschnitzel
from 1981's Fat EP. I actually owned it on another
Descendants comp that was called Two Things at
Once. And it put a couple of their albums together
on one. Love the pick, but damn it, you took
Descendants off the table. And Descendants, if
you go back and listen to that first Toon Styles
episode, was definitely one that I talked about,
as is this next one, because I know if I don't
choose it, you will. So I got to beat you to
the punch because I know you're an Anthrax fan.
And no, it's not Anthrax. But I am going to go
back to 1985's Speak English or Die, and I'm
going to go with S .O .D. or the Stormtroopers
of Death, Diamonds and Rust, the extended version,
clocking in at six seconds. Now, on the original
CD, the song was called Diamonds and Rust, extended
version. But as I'm looking right here on screen,
on streaming, it's only listed as Diamonds and
Rust. It says it's six seconds long. I think
the original CD listed the track as two seconds
long. So not only did they shorten the actual
title, taking the extended version off of the
song title, they tripled the length of the song.
But alas, I digress. I could have went with a
bunch of stuff from this album. Hey Gordy clocks
in at five seconds long. The Ballad of Jimi Hendrix
is four seconds long. Anti -procrastination song
is three seconds long. I mean, if I had a lot
of tape left at the end of the side, Jason, I
could have went with Chromatic Death at 40 seconds.
Or if I was making a mix for one of my buddies
and I wanted to troll them at the end of the
side, I'd go with Brandon from Virginia's pick
and go with What's That Noise? Because you know,
if my friends had the headphones cranked up and
What's That Noise starts and that distortion
starts ringing through the headphones. It's trolling
before trolling existed. There's no way I can't
go with an S .O .D. song if we're talking short
songs. So Diamonds and Rust extended version.
And I talked a hell of a lot longer than the
length of that song. I mean, it's Stormtroopers
of Death. You knew you knew they were going to
be on my radar. So I scooped you on Descendants.
You scooped me on Stormtroopers of Death. And
I'm pretty darn skippy. I'm going to scoop you
on this next pick. But I'm going to take my time
because this is an elongated song for what we're
talking about. At 45 seconds long. Oh, it's like
a fish song here? Right? We're close to a Dream
Theater song at this point. But I'm going with
one of the best comedy metal bands out there
today, Psycho Stick. With bacon, egg, and cheese
on toast with sriracha. Which, A, is arguably
one of the happiest, boppiest songs they've actually
done. And I guarantee you, I went through a number
of Psycho Stick albums to sit there and say,
come on, give me something that's under a minute.
Give me something that's short. Give me bacon,
eggs, and cheese on toast with sriracha, racha,
racha. And it's going to get stuck in your head.
Like, I don't even like sriracha. But I want
a bacon egg with cheese on toast now with sriracha
because it's an earworm. And Psycho Stick is
so good at this. This is one of those things
where you can have a comedy group doing music,
but it doesn't work unless they are musically
talented. That's why Steel Panther works. That's
why Spinal Tap works. And it's definitely why
Psycho Stick works. And I wish that Psycho Stick
was getting bigger. because they deserve it.
Like I've seen them live and they are so good
live. They are ridiculously talented live and
watch them as a bassist. I love them because
they have phenomenal bass lines. I hate them
because they're ridiculously talented and have
phenomenal bass lines and I can't play them.
I mean, what can I say other than Racha, Racha,
Racha, Racha, breakfast. I love the pic. That
was from 2018's due album. I actually had dogs
like socks from there for revenge of the vengeance
on my list, but that one clocks in at a minute
and nine. And that to me really just felt like
I was going way off into jam band territory with
a short song. But I love Psycho Stick. I love
the fact you included it. And it's not the first
time Psycho Stick has been discussed on a My
Weekly Mixtape episode. So if you go back through
the discography, maybe on one of the suggested
episodes that I drop on the episode page, I'll
put an episode that also features some Psycho
Stick talk. Love the choice. And what I'm going
to do. Is take Psycho Stick and go a little heavier.
A lot heavier. But I'm going to stay in the 80s.
And I'm going to go off of their 1987 album,
Scum. And we're going to go death metal. And
we're going to go with Napalm Death's You Suffer.
The lyrics are, you suffer, but why? The song
clocks in at five seconds long. but it is listed
on other websites as two seconds long. I don't
know how they crammed You Suffer But Why into
this song, but when you hear it, you'll understand.
It's kind of like the Micro Machine Man level
of speed of delivery in death metal form. So
following up Psycho Stick, Napalm Deaths, You
Suffer. I mean, we could keep it light. You know,
we could keep it up and boppy. Or we can go the
other way. I like that left turn in Albuquerque.
I do. Okay. You don't have anything else to say
about that song? It's six seconds long. What
are you supposed to say about six seconds? Okay.
I see you're heavy and I match your heavy here.
But I'm going to go a little bit longer. I'm
going to go to 49 seconds here. So I'm just taking
all the tape here. 49 seconds long. And I'm going
to go with a song that with lyrics that can only
be described as being written by a monkey in
heat. I'm going to go with twist by court. I
think I broke Brian on this one here. You're
now hearing it in your head. Yeah. I'm never
taking my kids to the zoo again. Or a corn concert
for that matter. I mean, here's the thing. This
second album, Life is Peachy. I mean, it's a
fantastic album. And when Korn came out, it's
like, oh, my God, this first album is amazing.
Then Life is Peachy comes out. And it took me
a little bit to kind of get into it because that
first album was so good. But this is not one
of those sophomore slump albums. You know, going
from Twist. into chai like it is or chi however
you want to pronounce it like this is a solid
freaking album and really those first like three
four albums from corn it was hit after hit after
hit after hit but this one and you know you think
about memorable songs from the album you go back
to the first one you've got the the one with
all the the nursery rhymes and then you've got
this yep yep and then you've got this Also, you've
got Adidas on this album, so that's going to
definitely get stuck in your head. But this one,
like this is how you're introducing your album.
Album opener. Thumbs up. I approve. I'm kind
of disappointed as I look at the streaming site
to confirm it is 49 seconds. It only has the
lyrics twist as the lyrics. I mean, how great
would it be if it actually wrote out you not
who rat dot dot net do rat greatest karaoke song
ever, right? Take that. I got to get it on board
for that one. Can you imagine having to like
transcribe that for closed captioning? I'll be
honest, I've seen Korn perform Twist several
times. And besides Blind, it's, I think, the
biggest song of the night, in my opinion, of
every time I've seen them. There's something
about that song, as silly as it is, the crowd
just eats it up. Not as much as the opening ride
symbol at the beginning of Blind. That is just
insanity. I've been in the pit for a Blind. It
was Korn and Stained in 2000 touring together.
Blind was one of the most insane pits I've ever
been in in my entire life. But Twist was up there.
People went nuts during that one. Yeah, Blind
is one of those songs that kind of calls for
the wall of death. Just ride that ride. Are you
ready? And watch the people collide. There you
go. Well, I'm going to keep it heavy. And I'm
going to go with, for at least with my song so
far, a jammy, jammy pick at 26 seconds. But we're
going to bring a little bit of that. end of the
era hair metal into this. And I'm going to go
with Ugly Kid Joe's Heavy Metal from 1991's As
Ugly As They Wanna Be. And once again, as I'm
seeing here, the lyric sites are getting, in
my opinion, wrong because it lists the words
heavy and metal as the lyrics, but it misses
the ooh and the yeah and the Rob Halford -esque
scream at the end of the song. This one ended
up on so many mixtapes. for me, especially because
I made a lot of mixtapes of hair metal, because
that's what most of my cassettes were from like
fourth grade to eighth grade. So this one made
a ton of them. Also at the end of a CD too, when
you were burning a CD and you only had like 30
seconds left, you could fit that in there and
use every last second of that burn CD. It was
the perfect song to end a metal disc or a hair
band disc. You paid for the 80 minutes. You're
going to burn the 80 minutes. Yeah, no. Ugly
Kid Joe are great. They're fantastic. I still
remember, too, when we were talking about the
Songs of 1991 episode of Playlist Wars. We're
going back a few years there, aren't we? Yeah.
About three years there. And the fact that that
first Ugly Kid Joe EP came out in 1991 before
their first full -length studio album. So we
kind of mentioned that there. But yeah, you can't
go wrong with Ugly Kid Joe. kid joe and i like
the fact that you're kind of pulling it back
a little bit from the extreme heavy of napalm
death and corn because i know exactly where to
go from here and i'm gonna go with a song off
of one of my favorite albums from the early 90s
off of the lizard by saigon kick i'm going to
go with my dog so i i recognize i'm taking maybe
all the time here at 52 seconds long because
this is literally that transatlantic song at
this point that that 52 second song but i mean
the lizard was such a good album right god of
40 seconds straight the title track love is on
the way chanel which is just an earworm of a
freaking song but then my dog pops on right in
the middle of the album And it's got a really
cool, very almost suicidal tendencies, infectious
groove kind of riff to it. And it's all about
someone's dead dog. And it's sad, but happy in
a way. Odd that it's on the same album as Love
is on the Way. That's for sure. Easily, I'm going
to go on a limb and say, besides Napalm Death,
this might easily be the most depressing song
on the playlist. Tonight, but a really funky
groove. And I think we need a palate cleanser
after this one. So what I'm going to do is for
my next pick, instead of talking about it, I'm
going to perform it for you and everybody listening.
If you'll allow me, Jay. Please. You got the
lyrics you printed off, right? I hope so. So
everybody, there's nothing wrong with your podcast.
This isn't a glitch. I am going to perform the
next song for you now. That was Bloodhound Gang's
The 10 Coolest Things About New Jersey, clocking
in at 10 seconds long from 1999's Hooray for
Boobies. I mean, coming out of my dog, I think
10 seconds of silence is kind of fitting, actually.
I mean, dear My Weekly Mixtape listeners, you
have to understand, not only did Brian just perform
that acapella, but you should have seen the instrumentation
that he used in performing this song. It was
majesty. There was every note that you could
fit in 10 seconds of silence. Really, it was
the greatest performance you will never hear.
I am from New Jersey. And when I first got that
CD back in the late 90s, I laughed so hard when
that track came on because I expected it to be
a goof song. And when it was pure silence, knowing
the Bloodhound Gang is from that King of Prussia,
Philly area, I laughed my ass off. And yeah,
it's going to sound just as ridiculous on this
playlist when people are listening to it after
the show's done. This is where you get people
like sitting there looking at their Discman,
looking at their phone. What the hell is wrong?
And certainly bashing it and checking their earphones
and pulling the cord, putting it back in. You
mentioned trolling early and a song like that,
at least a track like that. I don't think we
really called a song, but a track like that really
does feel like one of those ultimate kind of
music trolls. It's like the inside joke for a
band kind of thing. It's like, oh, yeah, well,
we'll call this right. And we'll put it on there.
Ten seconds. Absolutely nothing. Go. You've inspired
me now. Uh -oh. You want to talk about trolls,
you want to talk about bad jokes here. Bad music
jokes, anyways, but they're funny. So I'm going
to go with 38 seconds. Let's see, I'm quickening
up the pace here. I went too long at 51 seconds
earlier, but 38 seconds. And I'm going to go
with Typo Negative's Bad Ground off of the October
Rust album. which is literally 38 seconds of
a bad electrical ground hum, which anyone who
has worked in audio or worked in electricity
knows that hum. And this, okay, this is where
I'm a geek. This is where I'm an absolute geek.
So don't at me here, but I took the song and
I put it into audition and I analyzed the frequency
of the song. To make sure that it was around
the 50 to 60 hertz mark, which is where a bad
ground hum would sit. And sure enough, peaking
right in that 50 to 60 hertz range. And I'm just
like, OK, this is hilarious. It's funny. And
I can't believe I just did that. And I have way
too much time on my hands. It's typical typo
negative fashion. I mean, this is a band that
in 2007 on one of their last tours was known
to play the chicken dance. before they came out
on stage. To me, that is trolling your audience
to do it at the beginning of one of their seminal
albums. I mean, to me, it's a dead heat between
Bloody Kisses and October Rust for which album
I like more. If you ever do a There Can Only
Be One episode on Type O negative, I would have
such a hard time choosing between a song from
one of those two albums. I'm already spoiling
it, but there needs to be a Type O episode. well
you know you may have just signed yourself up
for a good time there so you know 2025 kind of
feels around the corner so you know we'll go
there we'll go down that road but yeah no like
the fact that i actually work in audio and video
and i hear this song and it's just like yeah
you got me because you see typo negative because
you know what you're getting with typo negative
you see a song title called bad ground and you're
like oh this is gonna be dark and heavy and it's
38 seconds of ground hum. And I'm not going to
lie. The first time I got this CD, I was sitting
in my dorm room in North Carolina. Got it the
day it came out. My buddy drove me over to the
Blockbuster Music, which was a record shop down
in North Carolina. And I picked up the CD and
we put it in. And my buddy goes, something wrong
with it? I'm like, I don't know. And it was like,
they got us. They got us. Bravo. You start checking
your speakers. You start checking your cables.
Good one, guys. Good one. Well, coming out of
that, to close out Side A, I'm finally going
to sneak a cover song into the fold. And what
better song to come out of Type O Negative's
Bad Ground than the Blue Magoo's cover. Of the
Looney Tunes closing theme. That's all folks.
Eight seconds long from 1967's. Electric comic
book. Complete. With the Porky Pig. That's all
folks. But not actually Porky Pig. Just one of
the guys in the band doing it. It's ridiculous.
It's hysterical. And the fact that a band in
the 1960's. Thought to put an eight second cover
of a Looney Tunes theme. On their album. is freaking
brilliant i wonder if they do that you have to
think they close their shows with that like that
would be the perfect way to close your show if
you've got the instrumentation for that or open
the show if you're typo negative they're very
true very true it's like that's when you get
up there you do your first song thank you good
night and then you just start walk walk to the
sides people are like what the hell no no you
come back may have done that but still i love
it and the funny thing too is that you see bands
doing this more like taking just fun, goofy songs
and doing it live. Like, look at Corey Taylor.
We're talking singer of Slipknot. We're talking
singer of Stone Sour. Badass MF right there.
And he's doing the theme song from SpongeBob
SquarePants live. And the crowd goes nuts. I
showed my wife that video and she said, is he
the actual singer? She actually looked it up
on her phone. He does that convincing of a job.
singing it it's it's a really fun i'll embed
the video over on the episode page so people
can hear it yeah between cory taylor doing the
spongebob squarepants theme song and pink appearing
on the show doing the song scurvy they knew what
they were doing Well, there you have it, folks.
Side A of the ultimate short songs mixtape, which
consists of Descendants Wienerschnitzel clocking
in at 12 seconds. S .O .D. Diamonds and Rust
extended version clocking in at six seconds.
Psycho Stick. Bacon, egg, and cheese on toast
with sriracha, racha, racha, racha, clocking
in at 45 seconds. Napalm deaths, you suffer,
clocking in at five seconds. Corns twist, clocking
in at 49 seconds. Ugly Kid Joe's heavy metal,
clocking in at 26 seconds. Saigon Kicks, My Dog,
clocking in at 52 seconds. Bloodhound Gangs,
The 10 Coolest Things About New Jersey, clocking
in at 10 seconds. Typo Negative's Bad Ground,
clocking in at 38 seconds. And the Blue Magoos,
That's All Folks, clocking in at 8 seconds. Total
runtime for Side A, 4 minutes, 11 seconds. Head
over to MyWeeklyMixTape .com to hear all the
songs we've discussed in this mix. through the
playlist embedded on the episode page. Now, Jason,
to start off Side B, I am going to use a song
that I have actually used many a times to start
off mixed cassettes, but more often mixed CDs,
because in 1997, I bought the special edition
soundtrack of Star Wars A New Hope, and that
double CD set kicks off. With John Williams,
20th Century Fox Fanfare. Clocking in at 21 seconds.
I started so many mix CDs with this song because
A, it's John Williams, therefore it's awesome.
But B, you could literally put anything after
it and it'll be badass. Hard rock, punk rock,
hip hop, comedy. It all works. You can put any.
type of music after the 20th century fox fanfare
and i guarantee you it will leave people blown
away as wow that was a really awesome way to
start off a mixtape so i'm hoping they think
that as we kick off side b with it john williams
20th century fox fanfare i love the pick i freaking
love the pick i will admit that when i was looking
for songs i could not find the opening sound
i guess from the thx sound that you hear in the
the theaters like although i did find an acapella
version of that that was mixing with a couple
of other things but i was also looking for dream
theaters version of also sprock zarathustra which
they did on the chaos in motion dvd but that
cd does not have that track on it even though
that version of it is like over three minutes
long because it's got the intro on there as well.
So it's too long for this. Three minutes is too
long here. That's almost as long as side A. I
know, right? Okay. So you went Star Wars. Okay.
I'm going to apologize right now because you
went Star Wars. You went Star Wars. All the wars
and all the stars. Star Wars, nothing but Star
Wars. Okay, I'm going to geek out here. So bear
with me here, because I actually have a way to
go from this song to my pick. And it's going
to take a bit of a roundabout here. So going
off of John Williams' composition of the Fox
fanfare for Star Wars, you remember the Knights
of the Old Republic video game? Yes. When they
were promoting that game, they took out a full
page ad that looked like a comic strip. Now,
it's not canon. It was basically an ad, right?
But it made it look like it was from part of
the comics. And in this comic strip, there was
a character that only ever appeared in this ad.
And he had the power to control the combatants
in the battle that was happening on this comic
strip. That character's name is Todd. So I'm
going to go with Todd from Corky and the Juice
Pigs clocking in at 13 seconds long. I got from
Star Wars to a 13 second song from a Canadian
comedy troupe, Todd, which is the only lyric.
It's Todd. Corky and the Juice Pigs were one
of those kind of of the moment Canadian comedy
musical groups, kind of up there with the arrogant
worms. Sean Cullen. was a member of Corky and
the Juice Pigs. And he's actually gone on to
have a decent acting career. He's been in such
wonderful productions as The Love Guru and Phil
the Alien. Yeah, The Love Guru. I went there.
But he's also been in episodes of Murdoch Mysteries.
He's just one of those consummate working Canadian
performers. Corky and the Juice Pigs, that first
album is fantastic. There's even a comedic take
of a Suzanne Vega song on there, or at least
what a Suzanne Vega song would sound like if
a bunch of Canadians got into a studio and made
one up themselves. Kind of like if AI wrote a
Suzanne Vega song. That's kind of what it sounds
like. But yeah, Todd, 13 seconds long out of
Star Wars. Thanks to Knights of the Old Republic.
I am such a geek. I only know one Todd, and it
was somebody I went to grammar school with. I
have not met a Todd since, do you know any Todd's
besides the comic strip one you were referring
to? I do know a Todd or two. And the funny thing
is like I was looking for, like when I was putting
my bank of songs together, I was looking for
songs from like Canadian groups. So, you know,
kids in the hall doing the Dave's I know. And
this one was definitely up there. Cause I listened
to that first Corky and the juice at pigs album
a lot. Todd is just way too much fun. The song.
All right. Well, You went with Corky and the
Juice Pigs. So I'm going to go with a blank and
the blank as well. I have really nothing I could
tie to Todd except for this. So I'll go with
Duncan Reed and the Big Heads, the shortest song
in the world. Clocking in at two seconds from
2017's Bombs Away. Here are the lyrics. One,
two, three, four, stop. I mean, the song literally
is two seconds long. I'm guessing it'll probably
be the shortest song of the evening, but I got
to give major props to the fact that they actually
did the four count into the track. Frigging brilliant.
Bravo. Bravo. I dare you. The next time Colbert
and company performs a show, this has to be in
your set list. I mean, really, all it is is one
note saying stop. I mean, I think we could pull
it off. I don't know if we could pull it off.
We'd probably all play different notes. Are you
going to play it in G major? Are you going to
play it in the proper D minor? Well, I think
I've given you an interesting slate to try to
come out of that. So what are you going to come
out of? Literally, the song title is longer than
the actual song. The shortest song in the world.
That took me longer than the actual song to say.
I feel like I kind of have to stick to the four
count now just to fit into the next song. Okay.
There was a compilation CD that came out around
like the mid to late 90s. I think it was called
Short Music for Short People. Ah, yes. And this
song is the lead off track off of that compilation
album clocking in at a staggeringly long nine
seconds long. The Fizzy Bangers with a song called
Short Attention Span. So it kind of fits in with
that as well. Like very quick, very fast. They
have a short attention span. Nine seconds feels
like an eternity compared to your two seconds,
though. Oh, my God. I am so mad that you pulled
this one. I had about seven or eight songs sitting
from, you know what? Screw it. I'm sticking with
the album because it's a compilation. And there
are different bands on there. I could easily
go with Green Day, The Ballad of Wilhelm Fink.
I could go with Guar's Fish F. I could go with
Nerf Herders Doing Laundry. But I think I'm going
to go with the Atari's 28 Seconds of Amazingness,
The Radio Still Sucks. This song rocks so hard.
I have it on several of my punk playlists. And
I kid you not, every time I hear it, I always
have to go back and play it a second time because
I always wished they did a longer version of
it. The song just kicks ass. It's a fantastic
punk song and there deserves to be a longer version,
but alas, there isn't. And I want to just say
how awesome short music for short people is.
If you're on a road trip and you want to like
have a musical ADD moment for over an hour, there's
over a hundred songs on it. 15 to 20 seconds
it's something different and there are so many
interesting and funny and goofy songs on it it's
an all -timer compilation and when you think
too like this came out around the time where
punk compilations were really at their peak you
had the fat music for fat people compilations
you had the fat records compilations like i Got
to discover so many punk bands from all of those
compilations. I think I got like punk chart busters
as well, which is a two disc set of just all
punk covers. Of course, you've also got like
the punk goes pop series, the punk goes whatever
series. Really, the compilation CDs introduced
you to so many different bands and short music
for short people introduce you to. basically
all of them it felt like like literally it felt
like every band that was ever on any of those
compilations they all got to fit on this one
cd it's the sampler to end all samplers i feel
i'm i'm gonna lean on you here i'm gonna cater
to your interests okay i'm gonna go with a cover
song you have my attention now thematically we're
taking a left turn at albuquerque because we're
stepping away from the punk but we are going
to keep up the tempo here But I'm going to go
with a cover song. But the original of this song
lasts three minutes and two seconds. So that's
too long for us. So when you triple the tempo,
as Richard Cheese in Lounge Against the Machine
did, when they covered Milkshake by Kellis, clocking
in at 49 seconds, they covered... milkshake in
49 seconds the original song is three minutes
and two i looked at every single richard cheese
album looking for something that would work because
i freaking love richard cheese and lounge against
the machine i was hoping uh doomy was going to
be short enough to fit in but they carried the
joke a little too long and it lasted over a minute
so that's too long for us because the fact that
instead of singing doomy he's saying dome which
is hilarious. You can dome in the morning. You
can dome in the night. You can dome when you
want to dome. No, no, it's do me, not dome, do
me. And that's about the tempo that they did
Milkshake, probably even a little bit faster.
But if you like comedy lounge music, no one does
it better than Richard Cheese. Not even that
Pat Boone lounge cover, whatever. No one who's
done a lounge album, lounge covers album has
done it better than Richard Cheese. I swear to
you, the first time I heard Richard Cheese and
the Lounge Against the Machine, I thought it
was a Casio keyboard in the background with like
one of the songs that you just push the button
and you get that drum beat that almost sounds,
you know, the Casio keyboard drum sound I'm talking
about. And that first album with Break Stuff
and Last Resort, hysterically funny. I love the
fact that he's in this mix because I know several
people that have actually gone to see them perform
live and have said brilliant things about, I've
never seen him. He's on my bucket list, but I'm
going to stick with the kind of comedic aspect
side of what you're going for here with an artist.
I am going to go see in 2025 because I grabbed
tickets and that would be weird. Al Yankovic.
Now I could have easily went. With Harvey the
Wonder Hamster like Patreon mixtaper Philip Bergman
chimed in with. But that is 21 seconds long.
And I want to save four seconds. So I am going
to go off of 1989's UHF original motion picture
soundtrack and other stuff. Let me be your hog.
Clocking in at 17 seconds. During the movie,
this is the song that's played when Uncle Harvey's
lounging in the pool right before he gets the
phone call from Big Louie. And you know what?
Considering some of the punk stuff we had on
this side, it actually fits in that regard, too.
Oh, my God. Weird Al Yankovic. Is he in the Rock
and Roll Hall of Fame yet? Because he should
be. Sadly, he's not. UHF is one of those rare
films that. somehow worked like and it's only
on the strength of weird al yankovic yes the
you know the other performances in there are
good too but really he took his entire persona
and turned it into a movie and it worked even
with the recent documentary so quote -unquote
documentary that was done on roku starring daniel
radcliffe as weird al yankovic it's hilarious
because it is exactly what you expect it's basically
a parody of a documentary and by the way i looked
it up UHF does not qualify for it's not that
bad, thankfully, but it's close. It only has
a 63 % critic score on Rotten Tomatoes. So that
feels that feels disgustingly low. Hold on a
minute. I'm logging in now to give it a bad rating
just so we could talk about it. Are you going
to bomb it just so we can do an episode on that?
I mean, you got to knock it down to lift it back
up, right? OK, well, while you're at it, make
sure you get Transformers the movie, because
I think that's sitting at only 60 percent. So
help me out here, because I just want to talk
about Transformers the movie. OK. I need to explain
this pick. Oh, no. Because you're going to hear
the title and you're going to sit there and go,
how the heck did you know that this song existed?
So whenever I'm preparing for my weekly mixtape,
I. do my best and put together a bank of songs
that I know will fit into the category. And then
you kind of play it out like a deck of cards,
if you will. And in my search, I was trying to
find a song from another Canadian comedy troupe
called Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie. Yes, that's
the name of the comedy troupe, Three Dead Trolls
in a Baggie. They're based out of Alberta. They
only have one song on Spotify. Only one. And
it's something called the System Administrator
Song. And it's on a compilation album called
Technobabble. So what this CD is, it's a compilation
of songs that are about tech -based things. So
Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie doing the System
Administrator Song works perfectly for the CD.
Unfortunately, that song is too long. And there
were no other Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie songs.
So I did the next best thing. I took a song.
off of this cd and it's also pretty damn catchy
but when i say i'm putting calculator in my bum
i can't believe i'm actually saying these things
this is a song by a group called worm quartet
calculator in my bum at 18 seconds long oh dear
god what have i done here that's it folks thank
you for tuning into my weekly mixtape there's
no going back from here right but here's the
thing they have enough albums for there can only
be one episode they have albums like faster than
a speeding mullet carpe tedium so just you know
how they say never judge a book by its cover
I'm going to judge an artist by their album titles.
And I'm actually all in on this. And the stupid
thing is that calculator in my bum is a catchy
song and it will get stuck in your head. Not
in your ass, but it will get stuck in your head.
oh well there goes the pg rating for this show
oh and jason was never asked back again you made
it to 99 episodes you got your board shorts and
this is how you repay me with a calculator at
my mom yes well i don't even what am i supposed
to say to that and i mean i'm not even saying
the name now because i have to say it later so
coming out of that What better place to go than
1969's Abbey Road and the Beatles' Her Majesty?
Because we are going to go from Worm Quartet
to the Beatles and somehow it's going to make
sense. The Beatles are a quartet. Well, there
you have it. Touche, I guess. But 26 seconds
considered by many to be the first quote unquote
hidden track on an album. I mean. At this point,
why not? I'm out. I've broken Brian with a calculator.
This is why we say I didn't think there was going
to be math on the test today, because, yeah.
No, I mean, the fact that the Beatles actually
have a song that could fit on this mixtape, that's
fantastic. I didn't even know this track existed.
Well, I guess there's two similarities between
the Beatles and Worm Quartet then. Actually,
thank you for bringing that to my attention,
because now I have to go and find that song.
How do I wrap this up? Because I don't know where
to go from Calculator. I don't know. I had to
balance the seesaw there a little bit. And I
think the only way coming back from Calculator
was the Beatles. Right. Okay. In that case, then,
I'm going to go with a sentimental pick. And
I'm going to go with the song that brought my
wife and I together. A really... Sweet short
song. Please tell me it's not by Worm Quartet.
It's not by Worm Quartet. If Calculator My Bum
was the song they brought my wife and I together.
No, no, no, no, no, no. A nice quiet song at
46 seconds long. by anthrax cup of joe off of
the volume eight the threat is real so let me
explain because to sit there and say a 46 second
anthrax song was the song that brought my wife
and i together let me tell the story if i may
to your listeners so we were in broadcasting
college together and i was trying to teach myself
how to use the avid video editing system that
was there so the way i was teaching myself was
i would just take a song toss it in and try to
work on putting visuals over top of it. So at
46 seconds, it's a short song. It's easy to put
in because this is back then. And it took a while
to ingest all the footage into the system. So
I start working away and teaching myself and
she sticks her head in the door and she's like,
is that anthrax? Now, Cup of Joe is not exactly
the most well -known anthrax song. So I turn
around, look at her and go, you like anthrax?
Fuck, marry me. Those were the exact words out
of my mouth. And two years later, called my shot.
We're married. Still married to this day. All
thanks to Anthrax's Cup of Joe clocking in at
46 seconds, apparently of destiny. Well, thank
you for bringing us back down to Earth after
Calculator. And that is a really awesome story.
I remember you talking about that on the Anthrax
episode of Playlist Wars. But it's kind of full
circle because the second song of the night was
Stormtroopers of Death. And Cup of Joe is kind
of the most S .O .D. song on an Anthrax album
that wasn't an S .O .D. cover on the Attack of
the Killer Bees album. And it would have fit
perfectly in the S .O .D. catalog as well. And,
you know, John Bush's growl on it. I mean, it's
a song about needing a cup of coffee. So, of
course, I'm going to listen to the song. But
John Bush. added so much to it. I don't know
if I could hear Joey Belladonna doing this song.
This is definitely a Bush era classic -ish, but
classic to me. Couldn't agree more. And you know
what? For when we do the ultimate coffee playlist,
we've got that. And like we mentioned at the
first song of the night, Descendants Coffee Mug,
even though that wasn't the choice, we definitely
have the start of another episode to put a pin
in for a future. Post 100 episodes, if people
actually continue listening after this one. But
there you have it, folks. Side B of the ultimate
short songs mixtape, which consists of John Williams,
20th Century Fox fanfare. Corky and the Juice
Pigs, Todd. Duncan Reed and the Big Heads, the
shortest song in the world. Fizzy Bangers, short
attention span. The Ataris, the radio still sucks.
Richard Cheese and Lounge Against the Machine's
milkshake. Weird Al Yankovic's Let Me Be Your
Hog. Jason, I'll let you take the next one. Number
eight, Worm Quartets. Calculator in my bum. The
Beatles' Her Majesty and Anthrax's Cup of Joe.
Total runtime, three minutes, 49 seconds, bringing
tonight's entire playlist runtime to eight minutes
even. You can head to myweeklymixtape .com to
hear all the songs we've discussed in this mix
through the playlist embedded on the episode
page. Now, Jason, why don't you remind listeners
where they can connect with you and check out
It's Not That Bad and There Can Only Be One.
I don't know if they're going to want to check
me out after I drop calculator in my bum. I don't
know. I mean, you dug this ditch, so now lay
in it, I guess. I know what I've done. I regret
nothing. I regret nothing. Okay. If you like
talk about movies that are unfairly maligned
by critics, you know, kind of like UHF, but we
can't talk about UHF because it's too good. Go
to social media, not that bad cast on all social
media platforms. Or if you like listening to
people. Sit there and agonize over only picking
one song per album from an artist. You can go
check out There Can Only Be One on social media
at OnlyOneCast. Or you can have your one -stop
shopping experience and go to NotThatBadCast
.com where you'll find every single show that
comes on. And there's plenty for you there between
It's Not That Bad, Keep Watch Pass, Spin Shuffle
Skip, There Can Only Be One, and our three times
a year special Grading on a Curve. Jason, always
a pleasure. And hopefully we'll see you on the
other side of episode 100. You're welcome. And
I'm so sorry. Remember, you could find My Weekly
Mixtape on almost all the social media haunts
at My Weekly Mixtape. You can also head to MyWeeklyMixtape
.com to check out the full catalog of My Weekly
Mixtape episodes. And if you like what you're
hearing on the show, you can help me out by either
telling a friend, leaving the show a five -star
review wherever you're tuning in. or becoming
a Patreon mixtaper at patreon .com forward slash
My Weekly Mixtape. There you can enjoy ad -free
episodes of the show, gain access to future My
Weekly Mixtape episodes, chime in on upcoming
topics, become a future guest, and so much more.
That's all for this week. Thanks again for listening.
And until next time, enjoy the tunes.