WEBVTT 00:00:04.309 --> 00:00:07.349 Welcome to your next move. This is Edna White, 00:00:07.370 --> 00:00:10.470 and I'm so glad you're with me today. And today 00:00:10.470 --> 00:00:13.470 we're gonna talk about healing, meaning accountability. 00:00:14.570 --> 00:00:15.730 Today we're gonna be talking about something 00:00:15.730 --> 00:00:18.269 that we're all guilty of, and that is saying 00:00:18.269 --> 00:00:22.250 the word, I am fine, and not really meaning it. 00:00:22.750 --> 00:00:24.550 And I have someone special with me today who 00:00:24.550 --> 00:00:28.589 is a coach and also owns an amazing company that 00:00:28.589 --> 00:00:31.370 teaches us speakers. how to speak when we don't 00:00:31.370 --> 00:00:33.789 want to speak. And I'm going to say his first 00:00:33.789 --> 00:00:38.130 name and not want to second name. So we're here 00:00:38.130 --> 00:00:43.250 today with Sebastian. I'm scatty. Yes, I see 00:00:43.250 --> 00:00:46.189 that works so well. Welcome to the show. I'm 00:00:46.189 --> 00:00:49.390 really excited to get talking to you because 00:00:49.390 --> 00:00:55.130 I think I'm fine has a lot to do with inner not 00:00:55.130 --> 00:00:58.280 being confident. Take it away. Tell us about 00:00:58.280 --> 00:01:01.640 you first and get this thing rolling Absolutely. 00:01:01.719 --> 00:01:03.579 I love the subject as well. Thank you so much 00:01:03.579 --> 00:01:05.700 for having me on in such a powerful conversation 00:01:05.700 --> 00:01:10.120 so I am a public speaker and I am a 23 year old 00:01:10.120 --> 00:01:12.780 entrepreneur of two businesses and my background 00:01:12.780 --> 00:01:15.260 is coming here to the United States as an immigrant 00:01:15.260 --> 00:01:17.799 only child right in the pursuit of this American 00:01:17.799 --> 00:01:21.079 dream and I think what that ties into the subject 00:01:21.079 --> 00:01:24.219 of I'm fine without really being fine is the 00:01:24.219 --> 00:01:26.760 first step to all success and it is admitting 00:01:26.760 --> 00:01:31.060 the problem to find the solution. 99 % of people, 00:01:31.299 --> 00:01:33.060 the reason why they don't find success in life 00:01:33.060 --> 00:01:36.319 might not be what you think. It is always because 00:01:36.319 --> 00:01:39.620 they are too afraid to define what success looks 00:01:39.620 --> 00:01:42.500 like for themselves. They tell themselves I'm 00:01:42.500 --> 00:01:45.140 fine and never articulate in their life a problem. 00:01:45.290 --> 00:01:47.849 When you don't define what success looks like, 00:01:47.909 --> 00:01:49.989 how can you get there? You're like a ship with 00:01:49.989 --> 00:01:53.549 no sail, aimlessly drifting, right? And the reason 00:01:53.549 --> 00:01:56.170 why people don't do that is because it's terrifying. 00:01:56.950 --> 00:01:59.430 To define success means you're also defining 00:01:59.430 --> 00:02:02.489 failure, and chances are, we're much closer to 00:02:02.489 --> 00:02:05.849 failure when we start than to success. So, what 00:02:05.849 --> 00:02:07.489 I really want us to talk about today and what 00:02:07.489 --> 00:02:10.110 I want to drive home is, break out of that. Stop 00:02:10.110 --> 00:02:12.870 saying, I'm fine, stop ignoring the reality and 00:02:12.870 --> 00:02:15.889 the dreams that you're destined for. admit the 00:02:15.889 --> 00:02:20.069 failure to find the success. Yeah, I think I've 00:02:20.069 --> 00:02:23.610 also done that. And I hate the word I'm fine. 00:02:23.770 --> 00:02:26.949 I even hate the word a fine linen. I hate the 00:02:26.949 --> 00:02:28.949 word fine because then you start using it again, 00:02:29.030 --> 00:02:32.610 right? So I haven't used it. I want to say, oh, 00:02:32.750 --> 00:02:36.849 gosh. Maybe I'll say seven that I can remember. 00:02:38.110 --> 00:02:41.849 Because I started saying it because it was just 00:02:41.849 --> 00:02:44.479 a thing I repeated. And I was like, I'm not one 00:02:44.479 --> 00:02:47.879 of those joiners. I'm not a joiner. So I was 00:02:47.879 --> 00:02:49.699 like, wait, I'm copying over somebody else, and 00:02:49.699 --> 00:02:52.280 I'm really not fine. I'm like, the worst thing 00:02:52.280 --> 00:02:55.639 ever happened. But true to your statement that 00:02:55.639 --> 00:02:59.400 you just said is that we are not brave enough 00:02:59.400 --> 00:03:02.659 or we have no confidence enough to define what 00:03:02.659 --> 00:03:07.280 we really want to do. And most of the time, what 00:03:07.280 --> 00:03:10.919 I'm finding out from people and from myself is 00:03:10.919 --> 00:03:13.939 that They don't know who they are. That's one 00:03:13.939 --> 00:03:16.900 thing. First, you got to know that, right? You 00:03:16.900 --> 00:03:20.180 got to know that. Then you got to know where 00:03:20.180 --> 00:03:23.599 you're going, correct? Amen. Absolutely right. 00:03:24.000 --> 00:03:26.719 Now, I want to add something to that because 00:03:26.719 --> 00:03:30.000 you're absolutely right. Confidence is a prerequisite 00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:32.759 to success. One thing I can always forgive, especially 00:03:32.759 --> 00:03:35.840 as an owner of a speaking agency that also coaches 00:03:35.840 --> 00:03:38.080 speaking, one thing that I can always understand 00:03:38.080 --> 00:03:41.240 is someone who is shy, But I adore people that 00:03:41.240 --> 00:03:43.340 are breaking out of that. People that are breaking 00:03:43.340 --> 00:03:45.960 out of the cycles of silence, right? Yeah, and 00:03:45.960 --> 00:03:49.419 that's what it is. Say that loud and clear. Say 00:03:49.419 --> 00:03:52.300 it. I love that in people, people that are breaking 00:03:52.300 --> 00:03:54.900 out of that. But one thing that I can never tolerate, 00:03:54.939 --> 00:03:56.759 and I never will, never work with this kind of 00:03:56.759 --> 00:03:58.819 person, is someone who is okay with that and 00:03:58.819 --> 00:04:00.800 just is going to let their brilliance die in 00:04:00.800 --> 00:04:03.900 the dark. I hate that because there are so many 00:04:03.900 --> 00:04:06.300 amazing things that have not happened in this 00:04:06.300 --> 00:04:08.000 world simply because we don't speak them out 00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:11.710 or we don't act on them. It's fine, it's okay, 00:04:11.789 --> 00:04:14.990 whatever. But confidence and audacity are prerequisites 00:04:14.990 --> 00:04:17.709 for success. As a matter of fact, it's the most 00:04:17.709 --> 00:04:20.850 important thing for success. You can have everything 00:04:20.850 --> 00:04:23.069 else there, but if you lack confidence and you 00:04:23.069 --> 00:04:25.649 lack audacity for pursuit, you're never going 00:04:25.649 --> 00:04:27.829 to get anywhere. Like I said, the only talent 00:04:27.829 --> 00:04:30.350 that I had growing up, I had nothing. I came 00:04:30.350 --> 00:04:32.269 here with nothing, only child of an immigrant 00:04:32.269 --> 00:04:35.649 family. Really just, I saw my parents pretty 00:04:35.649 --> 00:04:37.490 much robbed from me in the system. They were 00:04:37.490 --> 00:04:40.069 just working 12 hour shifts every day. I didn't 00:04:40.069 --> 00:04:41.930 have talents, I didn't have scholarships, but 00:04:41.930 --> 00:04:45.129 one thing that never left me was the audacity 00:04:45.129 --> 00:04:48.709 to dream and to pursue that. It's this vision 00:04:48.709 --> 00:04:51.790 in my mind that I have no right to have because 00:04:51.790 --> 00:04:56.170 nothing in my life could even make me want to 00:04:56.170 --> 00:04:58.490 dream this or give me the right to conceive of 00:04:58.490 --> 00:05:01.230 the life that I wanted. But still, the greatest 00:05:01.230 --> 00:05:03.870 talent that we have as human beings is the ability 00:05:03.870 --> 00:05:06.750 to imagine something that doesn't exist yet and 00:05:06.750 --> 00:05:10.810 make that a reality. But that can happen in silence. 00:05:11.290 --> 00:05:13.870 It needs to be spoken and it needs to be acted 00:05:13.870 --> 00:05:18.170 on. Right, right. I totally agree 100%. I'm so 00:05:18.170 --> 00:05:20.589 glad that you're young saying that versus me 00:05:20.589 --> 00:05:23.350 as being the an elder or should I say like a 00:05:23.350 --> 00:05:27.430 bishop older? And I'm so glad you say that because 00:05:27.430 --> 00:05:31.230 I often find people and working with a lot of 00:05:31.230 --> 00:05:35.060 people. They say, oh, I'm an introvert. And again, 00:05:35.259 --> 00:05:38.600 they repeat things that they heard, right? I'm 00:05:38.600 --> 00:05:44.060 an introvert, right? And yet, you're not, because 00:05:44.060 --> 00:05:48.040 you're talking to me, and you can speak out. 00:05:48.079 --> 00:05:51.139 And then if things change, you gain confidence, 00:05:51.759 --> 00:05:55.120 you just did it. So explain to me when you were 00:05:55.120 --> 00:05:57.079 an introvert. Was it when you were five? Because 00:05:57.079 --> 00:06:00.029 let me tell you, those five -year -olds, They 00:06:00.029 --> 00:06:02.350 got full power. They're doing everything they 00:06:02.350 --> 00:06:05.110 want. They do it. They're saying no They're making 00:06:05.110 --> 00:06:07.949 I let me do it myself kind of mood. They're doing 00:06:07.949 --> 00:06:11.089 all of that, you know So when is it that you 00:06:11.089 --> 00:06:14.370 became an introvert is is it when things happened? 00:06:14.850 --> 00:06:17.810 So I went through about here audience You know, 00:06:17.829 --> 00:06:20.149 we're gonna throw out the questions and I'm gonna 00:06:20.149 --> 00:06:22.750 have my seem guess kind of start get the ball 00:06:22.750 --> 00:06:25.949 rolling What is your body telling you that your 00:06:25.949 --> 00:06:29.709 mouth keeps denying? Go for it Sebastian Wow, 00:06:29.750 --> 00:06:32.170 that's a really good question. What is your body 00:06:32.170 --> 00:06:34.810 telling you that your mouth keeps denying? I'm 00:06:34.810 --> 00:06:37.509 writing a book right now. It's on public speaking 00:06:37.509 --> 00:06:40.069 and one of the first parts of it has to do with 00:06:40.069 --> 00:06:42.470 the reason why we deny ourselves or we become 00:06:42.470 --> 00:06:46.029 introverts, like you're saying, right? And on 00:06:46.029 --> 00:06:48.550 that subject, in that book, I talk about all 00:06:48.550 --> 00:06:50.769 the people that have sacrificed their dream, 00:06:50.810 --> 00:06:55.029 that have sold their potential to corporations 00:06:55.029 --> 00:06:58.189 and have pretty much just... put themselves in 00:06:58.189 --> 00:07:01.310 a comfort zone, right? I think it's not our body 00:07:01.310 --> 00:07:04.170 that demands from us things, it's our soul. And 00:07:04.170 --> 00:07:06.009 what it's always going to come back, it's going 00:07:06.009 --> 00:07:07.550 to haunt you, or it's going to bless you, depends 00:07:07.550 --> 00:07:09.730 on how you lived your life. But your soul is 00:07:09.730 --> 00:07:12.269 always going to demand your passion from you. 00:07:12.470 --> 00:07:13.649 The older you get, the more it's going to scream 00:07:13.649 --> 00:07:15.689 at you and say, hey, what happened about that 00:07:15.689 --> 00:07:18.350 dream of traveling the world? Hey, what happened 00:07:18.350 --> 00:07:20.290 about that dream of investing? Hey, what happened 00:07:20.290 --> 00:07:22.310 about all these things, right? That's not going 00:07:22.310 --> 00:07:24.500 to haunt you. or make you proud when you look 00:07:24.500 --> 00:07:27.000 back, but it ultimately depends on you. It's 00:07:27.000 --> 00:07:28.879 our souls that demand things from us, but our 00:07:28.879 --> 00:07:31.379 mouth, I don't know where we get this from. This 00:07:31.379 --> 00:07:34.199 is insecurity. This is fear. This is anxiety. 00:07:34.220 --> 00:07:37.519 These are blockers that our mouth somehow finds 00:07:37.519 --> 00:07:41.480 the gall to say, no, later, my life isn't in 00:07:41.480 --> 00:07:43.540 the right place. I'll wait for this, this or 00:07:43.540 --> 00:07:45.899 that to be in the right spot. Never going to 00:07:45.899 --> 00:07:48.720 happen, right? That's what audacity is. It's 00:07:48.720 --> 00:07:51.279 making things happen. It's breaking out of this 00:07:51.279 --> 00:07:54.560 patience reaction cycle and getting on the offensive. 00:07:54.759 --> 00:07:56.920 That's the only way to make your life move in 00:07:56.920 --> 00:08:00.660 the direction that you want. So I always encourage 00:08:00.660 --> 00:08:02.939 audiences all over the world where I've spoken. 00:08:03.439 --> 00:08:05.819 And I tell them, I know right now, as I'm speaking 00:08:05.819 --> 00:08:08.139 about this stuff, you are thinking about something 00:08:08.139 --> 00:08:10.160 that needs to get done or that you want to get 00:08:10.160 --> 00:08:11.540 done. You're literally thinking about it as I'm 00:08:11.540 --> 00:08:13.660 speaking it, right? And you're still trying to 00:08:13.660 --> 00:08:15.920 deny it from yourself. But guess what? I'm telling 00:08:15.920 --> 00:08:19.060 you right now. Ain't no perfect time. Do something, 00:08:19.379 --> 00:08:22.980 do anything. Anything, anything. Okay, so you 00:08:22.980 --> 00:08:26.680 know that Sebastian just called you into charge 00:08:26.680 --> 00:08:30.920 for your life. One thing is to identify the stress 00:08:30.920 --> 00:08:35.059 signals. Yes. Right? Shut down those old habits 00:08:35.059 --> 00:08:39.399 and the physical discomfort that you keep ignoring, 00:08:40.360 --> 00:08:45.580 ignore that. All right? Here's another one. Where 00:08:45.580 --> 00:08:49.519 in your life are you performing, I'm fine, instead 00:08:49.519 --> 00:08:53.080 of telling the truth? Oh, that's a good question, 00:08:53.139 --> 00:08:54.759 because now it's putting me on the spot, calling 00:08:54.759 --> 00:08:57.940 me out on what I'm not doing well. I like that, 00:08:58.000 --> 00:09:00.860 though. That's how we grow, right? So you've 00:09:00.860 --> 00:09:02.519 seen your coach. You've seen this. You know that 00:09:02.519 --> 00:09:05.120 sometimes you preach something and you're like, 00:09:05.139 --> 00:09:08.879 crap, I should have listened to myself. It happens 00:09:08.879 --> 00:09:13.919 a lot. Well, myself. I would say I'm definitely 00:09:13.919 --> 00:09:17.139 postponing, and I keep telling myself, I got 00:09:17.139 --> 00:09:21.100 too much work here to do. I'm postponing a lifelong 00:09:21.100 --> 00:09:23.340 dream of mine. I'm ready to do it. I just keep 00:09:23.340 --> 00:09:25.379 saying I got work to do of traveling the world. 00:09:26.460 --> 00:09:28.039 I've been looking at Spain, I've been looking 00:09:28.039 --> 00:09:29.539 at Thailand, I've been looking at a couple different 00:09:29.539 --> 00:09:32.320 places I can work remotely. I haven't been able 00:09:32.320 --> 00:09:34.580 to pull a trigger on that, but it's been a lifelong 00:09:34.580 --> 00:09:37.399 dream, and I gotta stop telling myself I'm fine 00:09:37.399 --> 00:09:40.419 here. Orlando's not what it used to be. I'm not 00:09:40.419 --> 00:09:44.399 fine here. This is very true. I want to piggyback 00:09:44.399 --> 00:09:48.320 off of you. I just said this to myself, okay? 00:09:48.980 --> 00:09:50.919 So, you know, when you're out of alignment and 00:09:50.919 --> 00:09:56.299 you're, I'm on the stage of the attraction, you 00:09:56.299 --> 00:09:59.620 know, manifesting really truly, manifesting not. 00:09:59.870 --> 00:10:04.690 Not this mantra stuff. Not that. I mean, really 00:10:04.690 --> 00:10:07.929 attracting. And what I had to come to realization 00:10:07.929 --> 00:10:12.730 like you did is, I'm not happy here. And I had 00:10:12.730 --> 00:10:17.129 to tell my nervous system, I should be allowing 00:10:17.129 --> 00:10:21.570 myself to want more. It's okay to want more. 00:10:22.389 --> 00:10:26.389 It's okay to have that. And I had to tell my... 00:10:26.240 --> 00:10:29.379 my nervous system that I had because I was like 00:10:29.379 --> 00:10:31.120 freaking out and like I was just like getting 00:10:31.120 --> 00:10:34.179 comfortable again like that you know it's okay 00:10:34.179 --> 00:10:37.899 all right you know you know and and let me just 00:10:37.899 --> 00:10:41.419 say I my home I have the home I wanted by the 00:10:41.419 --> 00:10:44.539 water okay every window is got by the water but 00:10:44.539 --> 00:10:48.000 what's wrong with wanting clearer water or maybe 00:10:48.000 --> 00:10:51.600 a different unit near the water but maybe bluer 00:10:51.600 --> 00:10:54.379 waters and better weather you know all of those 00:10:54.379 --> 00:10:58.440 things what's wrong with that We start expanding 00:10:58.440 --> 00:11:02.000 after a while. We stop doing it. We stop. We 00:11:02.000 --> 00:11:06.460 stop. We minimize everything. We minimize because 00:11:06.460 --> 00:11:08.440 I'm fine here. Like you said, I'm fine here. 00:11:09.360 --> 00:11:10.960 Instead of telling you the truth, no, I'm fine 00:11:10.960 --> 00:11:16.379 here. I want to travel the world. Shoot. Just 00:11:16.379 --> 00:11:19.399 thinking my language. It's so funny. Almost everything 00:11:19.399 --> 00:11:21.799 you talked about I was writing about too in my 00:11:21.799 --> 00:11:24.320 book. And what I'll tell you is you're right. 00:11:25.019 --> 00:11:30.080 We as humans, we die before our death when we 00:11:30.080 --> 00:11:33.179 tell ourselves that we are satisfied. Satisfaction 00:11:33.179 --> 00:11:36.519 is a lie, right? Always be grateful, of course, 00:11:36.639 --> 00:11:39.460 always be happy, but never satisfied because 00:11:39.460 --> 00:11:41.759 the truth is what? Did you expect your life to 00:11:41.759 --> 00:11:43.279 end when you got the promotion, when you got 00:11:43.279 --> 00:11:45.840 the house, when you got the six figure business 00:11:45.840 --> 00:11:50.000 for the first time? No, we are creatures of purpose. 00:11:50.330 --> 00:11:52.529 And, I mean, this is evident everywhere that 00:11:52.529 --> 00:11:54.970 you look, right? But where do you see the highest 00:11:54.970 --> 00:11:57.309 mental illness and depression rates? Funnily 00:11:57.309 --> 00:11:59.570 enough, it's in the upper classes of first world 00:11:59.570 --> 00:12:02.830 countries. You see the least depression in third 00:12:02.830 --> 00:12:05.769 world countries and the lower classes. Why? Because 00:12:05.769 --> 00:12:07.429 the sense of purpose is right in their face. 00:12:07.470 --> 00:12:10.409 I got a family to feed. I got a lifetime. When 00:12:10.409 --> 00:12:12.789 you start making it and you get complacent, that's 00:12:12.789 --> 00:12:14.970 when you sacrifice the one thing that we need. 00:12:15.190 --> 00:12:17.309 No other animal needs us. We need food, water, 00:12:17.389 --> 00:12:20.899 shelter, but we also need purpose. something 00:12:20.899 --> 00:12:23.960 to chase happily, right? And when you become 00:12:23.960 --> 00:12:26.700 happy in the chase, you've got it. You talked 00:12:26.700 --> 00:12:28.740 about something that I literally wrote about 00:12:28.740 --> 00:12:32.299 is that complacency of I got what I wanted, but 00:12:32.299 --> 00:12:33.980 I'm getting comfortable and I have to admit to 00:12:33.980 --> 00:12:36.980 myself, I was writing a book about when I quit 00:12:36.980 --> 00:12:41.580 my job to run my business full time. And this 00:12:41.580 --> 00:12:46.179 was I was 20 20 years old, working a nearly six 00:12:46.179 --> 00:12:50.909 figure job. But I was terrified at one point. 00:12:51.350 --> 00:12:53.710 It dawned on me. It was like almost a year that 00:12:53.710 --> 00:12:55.830 I was working there and the months flew by. I 00:12:55.830 --> 00:12:57.649 didn't even notice it. I had no recollection 00:12:57.649 --> 00:13:00.210 of this year. And I woke up one day and I realized, 00:13:00.529 --> 00:13:04.309 holy crap, I'm comfortable here. And I looked 00:13:04.309 --> 00:13:06.029 out. I mean, I looked around the people that 00:13:06.029 --> 00:13:08.129 work there and there's a bunch of older folk 00:13:08.129 --> 00:13:10.149 who were just so mad at everything. They were 00:13:10.149 --> 00:13:15.529 just very, very excited. And I realized, why 00:13:15.529 --> 00:13:18.779 is this? Again, their soul is demanding from 00:13:18.779 --> 00:13:21.700 them passions that they sold out to this corporation. 00:13:22.980 --> 00:13:25.460 And I looked at all these faces and I thought, 00:13:25.919 --> 00:13:28.500 this job pays just good enough for me to forget 00:13:28.500 --> 00:13:30.500 about my passions for the next 60 years and end 00:13:30.500 --> 00:13:33.299 up just like this. And it will do that. I looked 00:13:33.299 --> 00:13:36.720 at all those old grumpy faces and they were like 00:13:36.720 --> 00:13:40.080 mirrors. That very same day I went into my manager's 00:13:40.080 --> 00:13:42.179 office and I said, I quit, put me up for do not 00:13:42.179 --> 00:13:44.019 rehire. I don't ever want to be able to come 00:13:44.019 --> 00:13:49.419 back here. I focused on my business entirely 00:13:49.419 --> 00:13:53.019 and I failed a lot, but that's what it takes. 00:13:53.440 --> 00:13:56.159 Right. It does take that. It does take that. 00:13:56.159 --> 00:14:00.519 It takes that, that failure to figure out everything. 00:14:00.519 --> 00:14:02.879 You know, like I was, I tell people I changed 00:14:02.879 --> 00:14:06.220 my LinkedIn profile a thousand times and I wasn't 00:14:06.220 --> 00:14:08.879 ashamed of it. because I had to get the groove, 00:14:09.039 --> 00:14:12.759 you know? I had to get the rest of the employee 00:14:12.759 --> 00:14:17.779 mentality out of me, you know? And we get that 00:14:17.779 --> 00:14:20.379 way, you know? And it's good. It's good because 00:14:20.379 --> 00:14:24.659 then you're not fine. I'm not fine at being complacent. 00:14:25.019 --> 00:14:27.399 That's the only thing I'm not fine at is being 00:14:27.399 --> 00:14:30.580 complacent. Just, you know, just doing things 00:14:30.580 --> 00:14:34.200 simply. I'm not happy with that. So I want to 00:14:34.200 --> 00:14:37.980 perform. The way that people are in other countries, 00:14:38.100 --> 00:14:41.720 you know why they do that? They're so, you know, 00:14:41.720 --> 00:14:44.899 busy is because they satisfy all the pillars 00:14:44.899 --> 00:14:48.940 of their lives, every pillar. Creativity, their 00:14:48.940 --> 00:14:52.419 drawing or their, you know, writing or their, 00:14:52.419 --> 00:14:54.419 you know, artistry or they're playing piano. 00:14:54.820 --> 00:14:59.460 All of those areas are touched. They're all touched 00:14:59.460 --> 00:15:03.000 because their purpose is always pouring out because 00:15:03.000 --> 00:15:07.139 they're always doing doing something that's the 00:15:07.139 --> 00:15:10.279 major part of their lives. So we're not in here, 00:15:10.279 --> 00:15:13.360 out here? No. Oh, we're in front of the sun, 00:15:13.480 --> 00:15:16.100 we're gonna lay down or, you know, like right 00:15:16.100 --> 00:15:18.039 now it's raining. The other day, me and my granddaughter 00:15:18.039 --> 00:15:21.019 went out and I said, let's go out and play in 00:15:21.019 --> 00:15:23.500 the rain. And she was like, really? I said, yeah, 00:15:23.500 --> 00:15:26.919 let's go. So we go out, we're like literally, 00:15:27.279 --> 00:15:29.100 I mean, I have the dog and everything, we're 00:15:29.100 --> 00:15:31.840 splashing the puddles, we're jumping in the puddles 00:15:31.840 --> 00:15:42.519 and everybody's like, hmm. That's the most important 00:15:42.519 --> 00:15:47.399 thing, you know, and we... I mean, I love when 00:15:47.399 --> 00:15:49.940 it happens to me as well, because one of the 00:15:49.940 --> 00:15:52.940 main things that I'll never abandon is that childlike 00:15:52.940 --> 00:15:54.960 wonder and fun and excitement that you have with 00:15:54.960 --> 00:15:57.620 the world. Who cares if you get a little wet 00:15:57.620 --> 00:15:59.860 plant in the rain? Who cares if you got to jump 00:15:59.860 --> 00:16:02.580 a fence or two? Who cares if you got to do this 00:16:02.580 --> 00:16:04.940 or that? Whatever, man. That's part of the beauty 00:16:04.940 --> 00:16:07.379 of life. And I spent a lot of time, especially 00:16:07.379 --> 00:16:10.039 early in my career and in my journey, you got 00:16:10.039 --> 00:16:12.519 to realize. I had a whole family to support as 00:16:12.519 --> 00:16:14.700 an only child of immigrants that I could not 00:16:14.700 --> 00:16:16.580 accept my family working like that. And we almost 00:16:16.580 --> 00:16:19.500 went homeless. I had a lot of pressure to succeed. 00:16:19.600 --> 00:16:24.240 So I started my first business at 16. But I realized 00:16:24.240 --> 00:16:27.139 for a little bit that I was so obsessed with 00:16:27.139 --> 00:16:30.639 the chase of success that I found myself being 00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:32.860 miserable. I felt like I was 50 years old and 00:16:32.860 --> 00:16:36.360 I was 18. You know, it was crazy. And it was 00:16:36.360 --> 00:16:38.799 then that I realized, wait a second. The whole 00:16:38.799 --> 00:16:40.799 reason why I became an entrepreneur was to walk 00:16:40.799 --> 00:16:44.159 my own way, not be locked in by life. What's 00:16:44.159 --> 00:16:47.440 the point? I'm not even happy in the chase. 99 00:16:47.440 --> 00:16:50.879 % of life is pursuit. 1 % is attaining. The key 00:16:50.879 --> 00:16:53.139 to happiness is learning to love the pursuit, 00:16:53.480 --> 00:16:55.279 learning to love the walk and the journey and 00:16:55.279 --> 00:16:57.980 the rain and the messiness and the mud. Love 00:16:57.980 --> 00:17:00.120 all that stuff because only you can feel that. 00:17:00.320 --> 00:17:02.179 When you're working for that corporation or you're 00:17:02.179 --> 00:17:03.620 walking somewhere else's dream and forgetting 00:17:03.620 --> 00:17:05.619 about your own, you don't get any of that stuff, 00:17:05.779 --> 00:17:07.869 man. You got to fall in love with the rain. You 00:17:07.869 --> 00:17:09.789 got to fall in love with the failure and struggle 00:17:09.789 --> 00:17:13.109 because for the first time in your life, if you're 00:17:13.109 --> 00:17:14.589 going to fall, you're going to do it for yourself. 00:17:14.950 --> 00:17:17.210 That's what it means to be an entrepreneur. That's 00:17:17.210 --> 00:17:44.440 my passion. over -functioning. We do that a lot, 00:17:44.720 --> 00:17:49.680 because working is for somebody. Oh, whoa. Am 00:17:49.680 --> 00:17:52.420 I the only one here now? Is it still live? That's 00:17:52.420 --> 00:17:54.539 funny. I couldn't even hear what she was saying 00:17:54.539 --> 00:17:58.160 towards the end. But I'll try to keep this going 00:17:58.160 --> 00:18:00.960 in that case. So I think what she was saying, 00:18:01.099 --> 00:18:03.039 she was saying a question to the audience about 00:18:03.039 --> 00:18:05.599 being overworked and over -performing, what a 00:18:05.599 --> 00:18:10.059 lot of people call burnout. And burning out is, 00:18:10.059 --> 00:18:12.480 it's not necessarily about working too much. 00:18:13.180 --> 00:18:15.299 It's about working your brain too much. When 00:18:15.299 --> 00:18:17.259 you've been working to the level where you feel 00:18:17.259 --> 00:18:20.079 like all your days are just flying right by and 00:18:20.079 --> 00:18:22.759 you're not even feeling what's going on around 00:18:22.759 --> 00:18:25.519 you, that is what burnout really looks like. 00:18:25.619 --> 00:18:28.240 And that's when you've already gotten to a level 00:18:28.240 --> 00:18:31.619 of a lack of control. There's nothing in your 00:18:31.619 --> 00:18:34.400 life that's holding you there and causing you 00:18:34.400 --> 00:18:37.750 to stay. You have lost control of your consciousness. 00:18:37.829 --> 00:18:40.029 You've lost control of your time. And that's 00:18:40.029 --> 00:18:43.789 when it's time to wake up and get back into your 00:18:43.789 --> 00:18:46.509 pacing. Let me try to connect over here real 00:18:46.509 --> 00:19:10.410 quick. It looks like she's just gone. It looks 00:19:10.410 --> 00:19:14.509 like she might just be gone for now. I tried 00:19:14.509 --> 00:19:17.690 switching my Wi -Fi, so I know it's not my Wi 00:19:17.690 --> 00:19:20.690 -Fi. That's funny. Let me just check in over 00:19:20.690 --> 00:19:29.789 here to see what's going on. And see if I can 00:19:29.789 --> 00:19:38.799 maybe get in contact with her here. Let's see 00:19:38.799 --> 00:19:41.599 what's going on. I'm just switching my WiFi one 00:19:41.599 --> 00:20:02.079 more time. That's so funny. I'm not sure if she's 00:20:02.079 --> 00:20:04.869 going to come back. Am I still live, though? 00:20:05.390 --> 00:20:06.990 If you guys are in the chat, just let me know 00:20:06.990 --> 00:20:10.069 if you guys can still hear me. There you go. 00:20:10.109 --> 00:20:12.230 I can still hear you. I had to jump off here. 00:20:12.349 --> 00:20:16.329 You see? Can you still hear me all right? I can 00:20:16.329 --> 00:20:18.470 still hear you. OK, did you hear me the whole 00:20:18.470 --> 00:20:19.589 time? I was trying to keep the show running. 00:20:20.829 --> 00:20:24.450 No, I was blanking here, so I jumped on the laptop. 00:20:24.630 --> 00:20:27.210 Yeah, my Wi -Fi was holding on. I switched my 00:20:27.210 --> 00:20:28.490 Wi -Fi a couple of times to see if it was me. 00:20:28.490 --> 00:20:32.619 Good, that's good. Okay. I was picking up where 00:20:32.619 --> 00:20:35.299 you left off. You're talking about over what? 00:20:35.500 --> 00:20:39.319 Something overclocked, overburdened? Oh, what 00:20:39.319 --> 00:20:42.539 did I say? You're coming out to some heat. You're 00:20:42.539 --> 00:20:46.539 coming out to some good. Oh, over -functioning 00:20:46.539 --> 00:20:49.640 and avoiding boundaries. Over -functioning and 00:20:49.640 --> 00:20:53.299 avoiding boundaries. That's awesome. Absolutely. 00:20:53.660 --> 00:20:54.900 Yeah, I see we got some questions in the chat 00:20:54.900 --> 00:20:57.579 here coming in or some comments. All right. On 00:20:57.579 --> 00:20:59.799 that subject of over -functioning, you know, 00:21:00.500 --> 00:21:03.200 One thing I realized every time I travel, I just 00:21:03.200 --> 00:21:06.759 came back from Morocco, Portugal, and Spain. 00:21:07.319 --> 00:21:09.200 One of the things that I very quickly realized, 00:21:09.299 --> 00:21:11.839 especially being in Europe, is the culture is 00:21:11.839 --> 00:21:13.980 so different when it comes to money, when it 00:21:13.980 --> 00:21:19.019 comes to efficiency. They have a huge focus on 00:21:19.019 --> 00:21:22.960 enjoyment, on flowing, on quality of life. They're 00:21:22.960 --> 00:21:25.460 not so focused on efficiency in this, get the 00:21:25.460 --> 00:21:27.099 best everything, get the best money, get the 00:21:27.099 --> 00:21:30.250 best job. we are here in the United States, right? 00:21:31.029 --> 00:21:32.829 And while that helps us get ahead in our goals, 00:21:32.950 --> 00:21:35.849 it definitely makes us disrespect ourselves by 00:21:35.849 --> 00:21:38.430 overstepping our own boundaries to the point 00:21:38.430 --> 00:21:43.269 where we are not being healthy at all, right? 00:21:43.670 --> 00:21:46.890 We're not enjoying the journey. We're only enjoying 00:21:46.890 --> 00:21:49.210 attaining, attaining, attaining, attaining. And 00:21:49.210 --> 00:21:52.250 that's like the smallest part of life. You very 00:21:52.250 --> 00:21:56.049 rarely attain your goals. Let's be real. Obtaining 00:21:56.049 --> 00:21:57.779 your goals is like 1 % of life. And even when 00:21:57.779 --> 00:22:00.440 you do, you're on to the next, right? But that's 00:22:00.440 --> 00:22:03.500 a beautiful thing. That journey is what gives 00:22:03.500 --> 00:22:07.019 the goal meaning. And so as an entrepreneur, 00:22:07.200 --> 00:22:09.619 as a leader, and especially as a speaker, your 00:22:09.619 --> 00:22:11.519 focus should always be on that journey. It should 00:22:11.519 --> 00:22:13.240 be on just falling in love with life. Like you 00:22:13.240 --> 00:22:15.000 talked about dancing in the rain, whatever it 00:22:15.000 --> 00:22:17.519 is, but those are those moments where you really 00:22:17.519 --> 00:22:19.750 know what it is to be a human being. feeling 00:22:19.750 --> 00:22:21.670 the rain on your skin, feeling the struggle, 00:22:21.730 --> 00:22:24.549 the stress of your job, of your business, and 00:22:24.549 --> 00:22:27.029 then feeling the success, the triumph of making 00:22:27.029 --> 00:22:28.809 it and going out to celebrate. All those little 00:22:28.809 --> 00:22:31.950 things are what add up, right? And again, when 00:22:31.950 --> 00:22:34.009 you're a leader, when you're an entrepreneur 00:22:34.009 --> 00:22:36.750 or an author or writer or speaker, whatever it 00:22:36.750 --> 00:22:39.630 is, you need to fully embody that because you 00:22:39.630 --> 00:22:41.569 really are out on your own, and that's amazing. 00:22:42.869 --> 00:22:47.940 That's cool. So we're at the top of our Flash 00:22:47.940 --> 00:22:51.799 time. So I wanna give you all something that 00:22:51.799 --> 00:22:54.319 you could take with you. And I'm gonna ask my 00:22:54.319 --> 00:22:58.160 guest this final question. And I hope, and I 00:22:58.160 --> 00:23:01.460 know he has this answer. What's one immediate 00:23:01.460 --> 00:23:04.960 action you can take to bring your emotions and 00:23:04.960 --> 00:23:08.980 body back into alignment? One thing I always 00:23:08.980 --> 00:23:11.700 say, one of the things that has always saved 00:23:11.700 --> 00:23:13.740 me from even my deepest and darkest failures 00:23:13.740 --> 00:23:18.269 or depressions. we find ourselves in our darkest 00:23:18.269 --> 00:23:23.710 moments through stagnancy and comfort. The metals 00:23:23.710 --> 00:23:28.009 of your machine have rusted. Move and move aggressively 00:23:28.009 --> 00:23:30.809 and move audaciously in that direction that you've 00:23:30.809 --> 00:23:34.210 always been thinking about moving in. Do it shamelessly, 00:23:34.289 --> 00:23:36.789 right? Change brings happiness into your life. 00:23:36.849 --> 00:23:39.269 It wakes you back up. It gets you out of this 00:23:39.269 --> 00:23:42.369 zombie mode that happens when you burn out. And 00:23:42.369 --> 00:23:45.369 guess what? If you're in the United States, and 00:23:45.369 --> 00:23:47.170 you're working 40 hours a week, you're burnt 00:23:47.170 --> 00:23:50.089 out. I'm sorry. No way around it. You are. Absolutely. 00:23:51.309 --> 00:23:55.009 So again, I will repeat what I always say. Whatever 00:23:55.009 --> 00:23:56.829 it is, and you know what it is, because when 00:23:56.829 --> 00:23:58.589 I say that you've been procrastinating on something 00:23:58.589 --> 00:24:00.690 and it comes to mind, that's the test. If you 00:24:00.690 --> 00:24:02.190 thought about something, when I say that you're 00:24:02.190 --> 00:24:05.109 procrastinating or holding off, that's your confirmation 00:24:05.109 --> 00:24:07.750 that you know it deep inside. Whatever that is, 00:24:07.890 --> 00:24:10.809 act on it today. Whatever stuff it is, small, 00:24:11.349 --> 00:24:15.799 do something now. Right. That's great. Well, 00:24:15.799 --> 00:24:19.579 thank you for joining us today on your next move 00:24:19.579 --> 00:24:24.220 lesson. Even with the technical issues that we 00:24:24.220 --> 00:24:27.559 had, if you felt yourself recognizing the tensions 00:24:27.559 --> 00:24:30.599 in your body, the places you shut down, or the 00:24:30.599 --> 00:24:34.039 moments you've been performing, I'm fine. Then 00:24:34.039 --> 00:24:37.220 you already took the first step towards emotional 00:24:37.220 --> 00:24:41.299 honesty. Remember, your body never lies. And 00:24:41.299 --> 00:24:44.809 when you stop... arguing with it, you stop abandoning 00:24:44.809 --> 00:24:48.190 yourself, what our guest said today. Before you 00:24:48.190 --> 00:24:50.710 go, choose one action that brings your mind, 00:24:50.789 --> 00:24:54.289 your body back into alignment, just like our 00:24:54.289 --> 00:24:58.049 guest has said. Maybe rest, say no, pause, breathe, 00:24:58.589 --> 00:25:01.990 tell the truth, or ask for support. One move 00:25:01.990 --> 00:25:04.890 is all it takes to shift everything. So if this 00:25:04.890 --> 00:25:07.829 episode spoke to you, share it, play it. and 00:25:07.829 --> 00:25:10.549 come back next week for another 15 -minute flash 00:25:10.549 --> 00:25:13.289 of truth, transformation, and accountability. 00:25:13.730 --> 00:25:17.029 And if you want Sebastian's newest book, we're 00:25:17.029 --> 00:25:19.910 going to have the launch time underneath this 00:25:19.910 --> 00:25:23.170 video so you can have that. We'll speak to you 00:25:23.170 --> 00:25:25.710 real soon. I'm going to say goodbye for now. 00:25:26.369 --> 00:25:31.349 Me and my esteemed guest, Sebastian. It's been 00:25:31.349 --> 00:25:32.549 an honor. Thank you so much.