Hello, hello, I hope everything is going well
in your world I just wanted to drop a little
bonus episode because I have too much bubbling
over I can't hold it in I recently recorded an
episode with Andrea Van Gordon who lives in Oregon
and is creating a retreat space center which
I find absolutely beautiful and would love to
plan a trip to sometime uh we started chatting
before i officially introduced her and we began
our episode but what we talked about in our chat
was just so good i have to share so here's you
know coming up i'll share our conversation that
we had prior to our recording and then look forward
to her episode coming in a few weeks In the meantime,
I just wanted to talk a little bit about some
things going on recently in my life. I keep saying
it. I recently started homeschooling my daughter,
right? But there's something that happened I
thought was so funny. I wanted to share with
you guys. One day in particular, she was having
difficulty focusing. She really wanted to, she
worked for like 10 minutes and then want a 30
minute break. So it was taking forever to get
her work done. And I went with her to Home Goods
and she picked out a new chair. Of course, it
had to be a gigantic leather chair that was five
hundred dollars. But whatever floats our boat.
And then she wanted a new desk and. I got her
a stand for the laptop and a new keyboard and
all these different things, new lights and lamps
and LED lights in her room, making it really
comfortable space for her to want to be in comfortable
enough that she can be there for a while and
do her work, you know? So I was talking with
her on this one particular day, she was having
difficulty focusing and I was trying to describe
to her, you know, I'm your teacher now, so not
just your mom, I'm also your teacher. And I want
to have things be organized for you and easily
accessible with a routine so that you know what
you need to get done, you know. And I said, there's
a science to learning. And she said, science
is learning. And that's when I realized I don't
need to push to get things done. That's really
like the old way. And so since then, it's been
probably two weeks since that. I mean, it really
just shook me. Science is learning. I was like,
facts, you are correct about that. It just humbled
me in a way that I was like, you know what? She's
very intelligent. It's not about like, you know,
getting the work done and spending the time.
It's about supporting her creativity and intelligence
and her schedule, allowing it to be a little
bit more inconsistent because she is a manifester
and she does not have consistent energy. So just
allowing her ebbs and flows and supporting her
and creativity, like I said. Also enrolled her
in gymnastics, which she's really excited about
she's used to do that and she's excited to get
back to it But since then in the past two weeks
I've really relaxed on the online program and
we've been doing more worksheets and hands -on
learning stuff she also She has my old laptop
and it has Canva on it and I showed it to her
and she just like instinctively knows. And she
has such a great time working on Canva. And I'm
like, this, this is learning, you know? So I
just so many ways to reframe what learning is,
and what that means, what that looks like, and
not just checking things off of a list to get
them done, but instead being present enough to
realize that Things can be done differently.
It doesn't mean it's wrong so that's You know,
I just love it I love the the revelations that
come through everyday interactions and my daughter
because she's with me so often and Obviously
an integral part of my life for obvious reasons
She just shows me so much. She teaches me so
many things and I think it's Fun to share so
I appreciate you listening and wanting to hear
One other thing I wanted to mention that I thought
was very beautiful that my daughter was saying
when we were falling asleep we talk when we're
winding down and falling asleep and We were talking
about when she was born And I was describing
her that she was not all the way out yet But
her head was out and I was concerned because
I thought that she should be crying And I was
like, why isn't she crying? And the doctor was
like, she's not out yet. But, you know, I was
just really wanted to make sure she was safe,
you know, obviously. And when she was born, she
I could barely hold her in my arms because I
was using my arms to pull my legs back, which
I did not need to do. But I couldn't feel my
legs. So I didn't know that. And I was really
holding them back like I thought I had to. Anyway,
then my arms were like jello and I felt like
I could barely hold her. Anyway, she was saying,
I said that I was worried that she didn't cry
right away. She said, you didn't push very hard.
I had to try really hard to get out. She said.
And she's probably right because I had an epidural
when I had her and I really I took a nap I didn't
move I laid stills on the back all the things
that are actually not innate in in childbirth
but Yeah, that contribute to the baby having
to try really hard to get out. So when she said
that I was like, wow you it's I could just see
from her perspective that she was really talking
from a place of awareness and she wasn't just
uh saying that um then she went on to say that
when babies are born they usually don't cry until
they're on their mom and they need to be patted
like patting your hand on their back and they
need to hear their mom's heart because it brings
them into awareness into self -awareness. And
then that's when they realized they can breathe.
And I was like, that makes so much sense. But
she was saying it again, from a perspective where
I really feel like she was speaking from her
experience, not just what she would imagine.
It just meant so much to me when she described
it that way. And there are many times in our
lives when we are so overwhelmed, we might become
disconnected and a pat on the back is what brings
us back into the now moment and just give yourself
a pat on the back you know if if you find ever
that you feel disconnected or you're not sure
what's going on take a minute get grounded pat
yourself you know do some tapping uh do some
chanting and singing screaming crying whatever
the fuck you want um but yeah it just really
highlighted to me the natural expression of human
connection through emotion and physical touch.
So I'll leave you at that. And I hope you enjoy
this pre -recording conversation bonus episode
with Andrea Van Gordon. And again, look out for
her episode coming in the next few weeks. I hope
you have a wonderful day or night wherever you
are. Stay blessed We recently have I understood
the word sensual for what it truly means and
instead of like sexual or taboo or like like
sort of like a Personally a little bit of an
icky feeling or like I said, like a taboo, you
know, but it's not at all. It's literally embodying
your senses and feeling that truly from a very
grounded place in your body. And like sensual
embodiment, you know, it means a whole different
thing to me than it did a couple of months ago.
And, you know, I thought I knew a lot, but isn't
that so interesting? The things that you think
about, like they can always evolve a little bit.
And then you're like, wow, like that was just
my own perception. Yeah, it's such, it's such
a journey. And I think that, you know, the more
as we move through kind of this massive shift
that I do think collectively is happening, but
I do think that there tends to be, you know,
people that are on the forefront that are possibly
kind of trailblazing the way or like kind of
code keepers to be optimizing the frequency.
alchemizing and holding certain things so that
it can move but it does like it gives me such
empathy rather than like coming up and being
like oh i got it all figured out just empathy
where every single person is and just like That's
okay. Yes, it's okay. Literally the same way
I recently recorded another episode with a different
guest and they were like, really, because we
were talking about how shamans are human. They're
human ever like we're all humans. Like we're
not perfect. There is no expectation of perfection.
And the human qualities that we embody the strongest
are actually like our superpowers and understanding
and accepting where people are at in their own
journey, but not letting that hold you back from
jumping into healing work because, you know,
it's really important. Everything personally,
any Akashic reading that I've ever done for someone,
it is always reflective of something that I needed
to hear or learn for in my own journey. And I'm
like, so thankful for it. It's like a gift in
itself. Just seeing other people's perspectives
allows me to always, um, apply it a little bit
differently to my own situations and expand and
grow and be able to conceptualize larger. Pieces
and, and archetypal understandings can actually
all the things, you know? Right. I think, yeah,
I agree. There's so much like. that I've learned
from other people's journey, but it only has
been like these confirmations in what I'm already.
It's not like, oh, they got it figured out if
I could just, you know, do what they do. But
it's been just like reflections back to like,
oh, this. Yeah, I've felt and seen that or I
mean, or like that resonates. It's such a more
I love the word resonate because it's such a
I can listen and hear different people's stories
and their journeys and the things that resonate
are the things that like amplify or solidify
things in me deeper. And then I can just let
go of the other stuff. Like, it's no longer where
I have to sit in judgment of, well, like, they
don't got it all right. Yeah. It brings the connections
to the forefront in a way that they can be addressed
in a more orderly fashion, because it's like
outside of you at this point. So it's not like,
you know, questioning. It's like a reflective
surface. this other person that you're connecting
with and you apply it to yourself. And I think
that's what we're all supposed to do naturally.
Like that is how we all grow is by opening up,
expanding, sharing, reflecting and considering
in every day with a more expansive outlook than
the previous one. Yeah. Yeah. which is difficult.
I think it's fun. Well, I mean, it's fun, but
I just want I always want to acknowledge that
because I think we can kind of, you know, we
can have days or times when like you're like,
oh, this is fun. Like it is. And then you're
like other times where you're like. Oh, shit.
Why did I sign up? Let me get off this ride.
Yes. No, I can't. You don't really want to get
off the ride. There's a little bit of like, oh
my God. Like, seriously? Do I have to? It's a
lot. But then even in those moments, the little
perspective comes through very clearly and it's
similar to this meme I've seen. I forget who
actually initiated it, but it's this girl crying.
She's like, and then all of a sudden she hears
her spirit guides and it's like, bitch. What
are you crying for? You're a witch. Get up. Go
do some spells and shit. And it's like, yeah,
you're right. You're right. You're wrong. And
it's like, you can have those own like realizations
in yourself when you're like kind of wallowing
in it. Like we need to, we really do. We need
to be able to feel, to be able to integrate,
to expand. And I'm like, it sounds like just
words that I just said, but like. on the level
for our own personal journeys, it's so important
to actually really go to those depths and not
ignore the feelings that we get in our intuition
and to explore more into why is that? And for
people who hesitate or maybe don't understand
like the Akashic records, for example, just conceptually,
they're not able to understand it. It's similar,
I think a lot in a lot of ways for me to like
Wi -Fi. and the cloud storage like that's like
the easiest way for me to explain it's like I
can tap in and download information and then
through my senses I try my best to describe what
I'm receiving and I'm a hundred percent of the
time it resonates with people so I know I'm not
making it up sometimes I feel like I'm making
shit up but I just I've learned that's when you
really need to speak because it's true it really
is and and and we gaslight ourselves a lot of
times, especially intuitive women with witch
wounds, gaslighting ourselves thinking that's
just my imagination or that's just my own stuff
and I'm just crazy. But it's our gifts. They're
all present for everyone. For sure. It's such
a learning to kind of tap into that frequency.
and then trust that what's coming through is
such, I mean, it's just such a beautiful thing.
And you start realizing like, oh my God, like
it is, like you said, art inherent, it is who
we are to be able to do that. And it's such a...
And connect on that level as intimate as it may
seem. I mean, initially I had a very abrupt spiritual
awakening and mine in particular had some elements
of interdimensional interference and there was
a real fear of mine that everyone could read
my mind. But in a sense, I understood that that
was an organic ability that we all have and so
in a way I was trying to reconcile like to move
up into this new frequency because of the awareness
that I had attained I needed to recognize that
on this level you cannot hide anything in your
mind you you have to be ready to be seen in every
nook and cranny and own it And you have to be
ready to see everybody else's nooks and crannies
and hold that. It was very, very clear to me.
And that might sound paranoid. And sometimes
I felt paranoid about it. But it's also like
I've had... five or so years to unravel that
unwind and relax into the fact that that's actually
just my spiritual gifts and intuition. And I
was at a level that was very fast and very forceful
and it was uncomfortable, but that doesn't mean
it was bad. So yeah, it was. It's such a, I think
I felt something very similar to that, where
I had a lot of like tapping ins, you know, before
I even knew, let's say what the Akasha Records
was, or, you know, I was very, could tap into
what I would say spirit and that. But similar,
there's such truth and clarity in that. And when
I realized that like, that same truth and clarity
is wanting to be present in our lived reality,
especially as women. It's been something that
we've muted our inherent truths, our intuitive
voice, our knowings, kind of that. witchy yes
yes we have due to you know time and time again
of it not being allowed or persecuted but for
me it's been such an interesting experience how
my when I say my lived reality kind of more this
3d like just earth experience and this tapping
into was trying to come closer and closer together
meaning like there's such truth and and clarity
Yes. Up in the the Kashuk records are in my knowing
up here. But then the ability to kind of just
really clearly speak that out and express that
in the 3d in the lived reality felt so stuck
and and like And a lot of that I think is due
to the frequencies outside of ourselves or the
expectations or the standards of general society
or the people that we've been in relationship
with that we have now evolved away from and out
of. And it's just so blindingly clear, black
and white, what's going on and the choices to
make. And it does feel very like Like I, I know
this every, it's, it is left and right. Like
you'll, it's like angel and demon on your shoulders.
Like I'm getting this and this is what I feel
in my body to be true, you know, but this is
what I'm dealing with in my reality. And like,
this isn't what I want. being aware of that,
being able to actively shape it. And like you
said, when you were describing the two different
paths resonating with clarity and truth, I literally
saw the amount of light and then the subsequent
particulates that vibrate around literally magnetize
and they collide. And that's how you jump timelines.
Yeah. And I think we, you know, like I didn't
realize how much like that I was creating at
this certain level and in myself at this level,
but there was still a level I would say in my
lived reality, kind of more this down to earth
reality that wasn't yet mirroring that. And then
I began so feeling it in my body of like, you
know, like, what is this? The fluctuation to
like, it's almost like the undulation of like,
cells before. And I don't I would like to say
with people like, it's not like this. It really
is just something that takes time to integrate
And it's not out of like judgment and myself
that I'm like, oh my god. I'm just this inauthentic
person I didn't you know, I mean it is just the
stripping away of all those layers and shedding
all those things that have have covered up held
back and quieted you know, just all those layers
that just have to come out through release, through
experience, through all the things in order for
it to come in. And then when it starts to land
more deeply into this lived experience, then
there's no going back. You've stepped into that
new timeline and you're like, okay, like I said,
I feel like I've landed. There's something that
has like, released shed pulled off to be able
to integrate that in a deeper way. And it's very,
yeah, it's interesting. It's, it's amazing sometimes
when you have those thoughts and you're trying
to manifest something and you start to get that
feedback that it's trickling into your reality.
And it's just, you know, sometimes the, the synchronistic
ways that things will persist in your awareness
and it's like very clear this is something I
need to follow this is obviously for a reason
and it's so I don't want to get into any specifics
about your personal details but I do want to
share that we have worked together in a container
with Amy Blair and just recently we went through
was it like Four months or six months. I don't
recall. I know I feel like I've been working
with her I know yes, but this specific one and
Same I've been working with her for years and
it's almost like I didn't I One could say you
don't need to join groups like this, but I have
to I have to say the power that comes when you're
in a group the alignment and the connection it's
like Why why wouldn't I join a container in this
sense to be able to like me? You know have have
a group that I look forward to meeting with and
sitting in that type of energy to find clarity
for a specific purpose in my life and my soul
path and I mean like that's therapy to me that's
therapy I mean helpful to have other people that
are kind of at the same level of the journey
that you're on to reflect back to you like you
know they'll say something or share something
that you're like oh yeah that's exactly that's
exactly the path the journey that I'm on right
now and it just yeah it just it's it's like having
pals on your hike yeah for sure and connections
like I feel so thankful to have been able to
connect online in groups such as this and also
like Instagram and different different ways that
people communicate. I just so appreciate having
these connections all over the world. And I think
we're so lucky. But like at the same time, we
can talk at any time directly soul to soul without
ever opening our mouths. And I find that also
incredible. I think that we are just barely beginning
to scratch the surface on the level of understanding
of the connectivity that our consciousness has,
especially when we're sleeping. Where do we go?
I just love thinking about that, talking about
that. Thank you so much for listening to this
preview of our conversation and check back in
a few weeks for Andrea's full episode. Until
then, take care. I had to let my soul breathe
Moonsign Pisces, heart broke psyche Angels all
around me but demons wanna fight me Feel like
I had to fight myself, know I had to look inside
With a predisposition to addiction Through the
negatives I'm still focused on the vision It's
sorta like that first scene you see in pole fiction
I see an end but it's really only the beginning
I had to find a way to be grateful For them locked
doors that you made close When doves cry it's
so painful But the purple rain is so graceful
I'm fighting battles Lost between the lights
and the shadows Trying to shoot me down, I'm
dodging all the ammo Left me hanging, I escaped
from the gallows Swim through the ether, blowin'
on a reefer Runnin' like Rev when he rapped about
Adidas It's like my flow is heaven sent My energy
can shift the cards in your tarot deck Life ain't
always what it seemed An alternate reality, I'm
living in a dream I got the Stussy on the T with
the 501 jeans Ray -Ban locs with the Airman I
gotta jump time lines when I'm living in stress
And a spliff in my chest, it got me lifting and
blessed Peace, you know the rest