Hello and welcome to another episode of In My
Experience with yours truly, Christine DiGinto.
This podcast is a space where I speak from lived
experience. The moments that shaped me, challenged
me and changed the way that I understand myself
in the world. The awakenings, the breakdowns,
the moments that cracked me open, asked me to
stay present, be embodied. and be honest with
myself. I share my stories not to persuade or
define truth for anyone else, but to offer perspective,
to explore the gray areas we don't often have
language for, to slow things down and listen
more closely to what's happening beneath the
surface. You'll hear solo episodes where I reflect
on my own initiations, spiritual gifts, and the
systems that try to define me. And conversations
with guests who have walked strange, beautiful,
and sometimes painful paths of their own and
come back with wisdom to share with us. I invite
you to take what resonates, leave the rest, and
trust your own experience as valid. Thank you
for being here. This is In My Experience. Hello
and welcome back. I realized that in part one,
I mentioned we would be talking about dragons
in part two, but that was incorrect. I apologize
for that. It's been a little bit hectic over
here. I recently started homeschooling my daughter.
We've wanted to do it for years and we're both
very excited, but it happened very quickly and
I had to get a new computer. So in last week,
I was editing the episode before it got out.
I was sharing the computer with my daughter and
I really didn't have much time to make sure everything
was correct. I hope you all forgive me. I forgive
myself. This is part two of my conversation with
Erin French of Natural Heart Alchemy. If you
haven't listened to part one yet, I recommend
starting there. We laid the foundation regarding
the Akashic field, mentorship and spiritual lineage.
We also discussed dragons. Part two moves more
fully into lived experience. In this episode,
I share a bit more about my own spiritual awakening
and plant medicine experiences. We talk honestly
about integration and the pitfalls that can happen
when expanded states are not properly supported.
We also explore the quantum field, timeline creation,
and how the Akashic records function as a frequency
that we tune into. rather than a place that we
visit. This part of the conversation is reflective,
nuanced, and very human. Let's continue. I had
a very fast spiritual awakening and I suddenly
had abilities that, though they are my abilities,
they weren't They weren't trained for, and they
were not supposed to come on board that quickly
and at that time. So it was very destabilizing,
but it was also the validation that I received
from plant medicine was I was able to see the
same way. Like I looked up in the sky and I saw
the grid lines and I could see, sometimes I would
notice people's faces changing a bit. maybe they
had an entity in them, you know, and they would
start to come out and I would see that. So it
was it was validating for me, experiencing plant
medicine, because I had never done that before.
And had a spiritual experience of being able
to see and sense three different dimensions.
Thinking I'm crazy, right? And then slowly calming
down, doing Reiki, grounding, all this stuff.
And then within a year, I did my first plant
medicine experience. And as soon as I was in
the journey, I was like, wow, this is what I
felt like. This is the type of stuff that I saw.
This is the level of hearing that I had. So I'm
not crazy. But then I was like, was I drugged?
And I was like, no, no one drugged me for a month.
You know what I mean? you know. I love that so
much though. I love that story because again
what you know what you're sharing is that you
had the awakening first and you went to all these
realms and then the plant medicine confirmed
where you were. Yes. Because it's like you know
there's to be really clear you know these plant
medicines do take us allow us to go out into
realms of consciousness that are not for many
of us normal quote everyday levels of consciousness
especially when we're not fully awakened and
yet it's also really important to know from my
perspective that they don't take us anywhere
that we cannot go and don't go naturally as humans
by ourselves. Yes. Really like they just open
doors and we you know without the medicine we
can and do go as humans everywhere. naturally,
this is our birthright, is to expand and be alchemist
of energy across all space and time. So I actually
really love that. And you mentioned something
really quickly earlier that your waking was really
quickly and maybe not meant to happen in that
way. And I'll just offer the counterpoint that
of course it was meant to happen that way because
it did. Yeah. Oh, yes. Of course, right? I'm
just saying like, of course it was meant to happen
that way. But the caution too is that if people
do plant medicines, early early early on or if
even if they do them you know quote recreationally
and take some doses that are larger what happens
is if your consciousness hasn't seen those realms
before and you go out and see things and then
bring those levels of awareness back to a very
low state of vibration that hasn't awakened that
can lead to all the you know sort of westerners
might call it like a psychosis or some kind of
a schizophrenic break or different versions of
that because are you know if our brain hasn't
naturally expanded if our energy body hasn't
naturally expanded and integrated to these different
levels of energetic experience there's no frame
of reference and either people might go quote
crazy and sort of disassociate or also what happens
is people might think it's important and they
think that like like i'm god now and i have the
answers that was what i was terrified of yeah
right yeah and that can be sort of like this
I'll say it this way, sort of like a false prophet
thing where people can say, I'm so important.
I'm going to trademark my school. I've had this
really profound spiritual experience that's very
important. And I'm going to say, my school. trademarked,
you know, and like come to me in this sort of
grand, grandiosity. What we see around the spiritual
realm, and when I see that, I'm just sort of
like, when I see that and people ask me about
it, I'm just like, you know, if there's any kind
of that energy, for me personally, my advice
is like go the other way. Yeah, one thing that
I was hearing, just it's interesting, now it's
coming back up, and it's probably, I heard it
because of what we were about to talk about,
but earlier I was hearing, you know, it's funny,
that if anybody is ever telling you what to do
you don't have to trust them like you don't have
to go with what they're saying because no one
knows no one knows for sure okay we all have
these experiences we've only ever actually experienced
our own nervous systems so it's really hard to
say this is the way it is right and it's and
and even if we say this is the way it is thing
realities and the dimensions are shifting every
millisecond or so it could be different like
that so it's like how can how can we say how
any one thing is i don't know that can make you
crazy get it back to the akashic records right
so yeah you know i do readings all day with people
and it doesn't always go this way, but some people
really want to know. I'll just give an example.
It's really common. What's going to happen with
this relationship? That kind of thing is a super
common question. I know. I've asked you that.
Yeah. Right. And one thing that I'm really careful
to say is around the caustic field is like, hey,
just to be really, really clear, this is not
fortune telling. And in fact, I don't really
know what a fortune teller is. And I say that
kind of, but I don't... I don't know what that
is and I'm not gonna diss it so much but from
the way I see the universe it's like I'm gonna
stay away from that and so for me I'll just share
like this like what I see and I don't think this
is reality this is just the way my brain presents
it to me so I can see it visually so I see the
future in front of us and I see the past behind
us what I see is a grid of energetic lines like
little threads all the way up to like huge like
ship ropes, and these are timelines of possibility,
and the bigger they are, the more energy is flowing
through those possibilities. But at any given
moment, there's an infinite level of threads
to ropes going out. For me, it's from our hearts
when I see it, out from the heart, away from
the person in the future, and this is all the
possible timelines of anything that could possibly
happen, and they're all, so the quote, at any
given moment, you know, in the middle for me
and this again, this is just a representation
of the way it's formed for me. In the middle,
there's like the biggest flow of what is going
to happen and that's where most of the energy
is in terms of the trajectory of the person.
But you know, there's also like these little
threads on the side and I'm not gonna say this
is just a make -believe story but like I could
go outside and jump off the balcony right here,
you know, I'm in this little hotel and I could
do that and there's a thread that that possibility
happens. I'm not going to do that. There's no
energy there, but there's a tiniest thread where
that's possible. Yes. You know, right? There's
every other possible infinite outcome that could
happen. And so when people say like, okay, what's
going to happen with this person, with my partner,
you know, whatever, I'm like, okay, right now
in this snapshot, I'm willing to share that this
is the energy that I see through you right now.
And then from there, I can sort of say like,
Is there one main thread? Are there a number
of main threads that are all supposed, you know,
I'll go that far and then beyond that I'm like,
okay. It's, you know, you're okay. Everything's
happening as it needs to happen. And it's frustrating
too when someone would, I mean, I know I've asked
you that question, but that's sort of like, like
we were saying when you can't answer it for yourself
and you need help and then to. So yeah, that
is understandably a common question, but unfortunately
for us as Akashic readers, that is the most basic
question. It just like has nothing to do with
your soul pretty much unless it's like your twin
flame or your soulmate or understandably people
want to know things, but it's almost like if
you could ask a more dynamic question instead
of what's going to happen with this relationship,
it's like Who am I going to be and is this person
so going to be you know what I mean? It's not
like it's not the religion yet You know, I also
really get I'm sure you do too in your own way
like like people say like, okay I have all these
questions and they say like, okay What about
my work and what about money and then what about
my kids and then what about love and my relationship?
And then what about my soul path and they're
like these are you know in their mind like these
are like oh This is so much. There's all these
different things and in my mind, you know, I'm
like, you know We know when they're saying this
my inner response is like, yeah, this is all
the same thing. It's all the same question. And
until people are aligned, they don't see it.
It's perfect. It's OK. And when we get through
the session, what they realize is and what comes
through, 99 % of the time is this. It's always
the same. And it's simply when we align to our
truth, When we let go and flow with the confidence
and relaxation both that we are on the right
flow And we surrender to the universe in the
pull of our souls path Then all of that just
takes care of itself You know the partner comes
in or the partner realigns that you already have
or whatever version of that is your karma when
we're actually true aligned with our truth and
That's when the abundance comes in and that's
when the relationship with your kids miraculously
shifts and that's when, you know, et cetera,
et cetera. And, you know, when we're in line,
it all happens. And I've seen that happen with
myself, you know, even early, early, early on
when I was still like learning to believe, like
a couple of years before you and I met, I was,
you know, doing my spiritual work and I integrated
a degree of like deep self responsibility. There's
a prayer from the book, The Course of Miracles.
Oh, yes prayer called the responsibility prayer,
which simply one piece of it says like Anything
that appears to happen to me. I receive exactly
as I have asked Anything or maybe it's everything
but it's you know, either way yeah that appears
to happen to me that appears to happen to me
I receive exactly as I have asked and so I've
been meditating on that for a while and then
I was able to like metabolize that and say, okay,
wow, I can't blame anybody. Oh, you know, this
person, this person in my past that did all of
these quote, did all these things to me, I have
to take responsibility for all of that. Oh, etc.
And so I went through a morning meditation where
I was like, this was weeks and weeks of this,
but like, there's one day when I was like, okay,
I got this and I accept. and I forgive and I
went into work and at the time my boss and I
it wasn't bad but we were having sort of these
little arguments in our meetings that were kind
of like friction full and our meetings were not
pleasant and I went into work that day and had
a meeting with my boss and literally I was watching
the meeting happen unfold and it was like she
was a different person and the whole dynamic
was entirely different and it was smooth and
flowing and effortless and easy and aligned and
like it was one day to the next nothing really
had changed and yet I saw that I had just shifted
the frame into alignment with acceptance and
unconsciously the meeting went miraculously different
and it was like okay that was the immediate confirmation
that I needed to just like drop in deeper into
trust yeah process and then I've seen it unfold
you know so powerfully the more we align the
more we surrender deeply from our soul and just
say okay this flow of this life simply is. And
when I allow that, everything takes care of itself.
And things, when I do that, and still all of
us, sometimes it's easier, sometimes it's more
difficult. But still as we go through this, as
I surrender deeper and deeper in this way over
time, my life gets more and more magical, more
and more aligned, more and more expansive. The
goodness of my life, the magic of my life. is
unfathomable to who I was five years ago, 10
years ago. Like, looking back five or 10 years,
there is no way I could have imagined how beautifully
magical my life is right now. It's like, makes
me smile so deeply and be like, oh my goodness.
So it's so funny though, like of course we always
have plans. We have to make plans. We have to
have goals and plans and we think we know what
we're doing, right? And we think we know what
we want, but as you go. things shift and change
and you just slowly along the way you're like
wait a minute this is great this is actually
great i didn't know i wanted this but cool well
exactly you know there's a common sort of new
age thing right any prayer you have is actually
too small i'm sure you've heard some version
of that sounds like internet memes right anytime
you have a specific prayer like anything you
can define about what's possible for yourself
is vastly smaller than what the universe can
actually have in store for you. And that's been
a million percent true in my life, like a million
percent. Looking back, I didn't know it, but
the life I was living, and I was, so back before
I was doing this, let's say 10 years ago, whatever,
I was a corporate executive. I was flying around
with expense accounts and occasionally being
picked up by the largest corporations in America,
sitting out there like private jet to take me
to a their boardroom kind of negotiations, hundreds
of millions of dollar kind of deals and stuff
like that, expensive accounts, whatever, living
that lifestyle, miserable AF, dead inside, bored
beyond tears, you know, and even then like the,
you know, I was making like money hand over fist
kind of, but even then there was a flow of money
that I wasn't being nourished by it. I was sort
of being, I'm being strangled by it in a certain
way. and I wasn't happy, my relationship wasn't
great, et cetera, et cetera. So this is coming
from a person that, from a certain perspective,
quote, had it all. And that's all relative. There
are people that had a lot more than me, but I
was sort of on that path of like. you know, top
level affluence in America, whatever, whatever
the heck that means. And I was dead inside in
a lot of ways. I was not fully, you know, there's
a spark that was and I had been doing spiritual
work for decades before that. And this was a
period of time when I had sort of like turned
my back on it and gone into materialism and sort
of rationalism and all this. And when I look
back on my, you know, compared to my life right
now, where from that perspective, you know, I've
given Most of that up all of that up and just
said I'm gonna look at flow and trust and do
the work that I know is my soul's purpose which
is for me to Help align and awaken and support
people's transition into these more expansive
states of consciousness and alignment Like I'm
personally so much more wealthy now in abundance
and friendships and experiences and opportunities
in joy in spark in unexpected roots opening up
and serendipity and etc. Like the events I have
right now is so vast and I'm so stoked every
single day to be alive in ways that I didn't
even know were possible. Yeah oh my gosh I'm
so glad to hear that. I was just imagining like
you taking a flight to go somewhere now with
your intentions and Whatever monies are funding
that the energy behind it is completely different
like I was I was seeing you being flown by these
other corporations and it's like the money that
paid for that was a different frequency and It
was dense it was transactional Very and you know,
and there's for me, you know with my with me
go there's always you're in these room with all
these, you know 90 % men in suits and there's
always this sort of, this perspective of failure
and fear around the whole, from everyone. There's
always a winner and a loser. This is it. There's
always a winner and a loser. And so there's always,
you know, and there's always a better position
and there's always expectations of growth and
this and that. There's a heaviness, there's a
density. And then, you know, and then we go out
and we, you know, quote, live it up afterwards.
There's always the expectations. One of the parties
was always buying dinner and dinner was always
trying to like be the impressive thing so it's
always the nice restaurant where you get the
the grand plateau of you know the seafood platter
to the ceiling and then all the steaks and bourbon
you want you know and just like you know night
after night you do this and just like you know
dessert and then let's have some brandy and let's
have some cigars and what you know like yeah
and and for me personally you know some people
love that it's fun for a hot minute And for me,
you know, I just be like, I just want to like
have a salad or have a have a little simple meal
and like go home or take a walk in the park or
whatever, you know, like anything but this. Which
is why, you know, I don't do anymore. But yeah,
joy, the joy of alignment can be so simple and
is so powerfully nourishing for us, you know,
and and we're nourished by the network of connections
that we have. And so this excludes, for me too,
now I go around and I teach courses all over
the country and world around talking to trees.
That's one of the offerings. And I do that because
the trees came to me, you know, I'm open as a
medium and channel, I talk to all kinds of things
and relate to them. And they're like, okay, you're
going to start offering this. And I'm like, at
the time, this was a couple years ago, I was
like, no, I'm busy doing the other programs.
They're like, no, no, you're doing this now.
And, you know, it's like, so like my friends
now everywhere I go are the trees and plants,
and then the humans I meet. And then also in
the spirit world, like, you know, every place
has its own connections. Of course, we're talking
about dragons and other other, you know, fey
and other things. The world is so rich of connection.
and now going around the world, there's so many
ways that we can connect and that fills our spirit,
expands our experience, fills us with so much
light and love and connection that then that
snowballs into more connection and more love
and more beauty. Yes, absolutely. And the traveling
around the world, I feel like it's bringing me
back to like the alchemist. It's interesting.
It's like you think you have to make this and
you have to have your, what's it called? Not
homage, it's like your, the transition into manhood
and finding wisdom and all those things. And
it's like, he never had to leave. He was always
there. But he had to travel to. realize you've
got that. So it's like that. Early on, early,
early, early on, I met this beautiful man. I
was living in Aspen, Colorado, up in the mountains
of Colorado, and there was this man who made
drums and rattles, Native American rawhide drums
and rattles, which I really wanted to learn.
And so I spent some time with him and he agreed
to mentor me. He took me out to his cabin out
in the woods and Long story short, I realized
afterwards that he was my first teacher of non
-dual transmission, of non -dual awareness. So
he was using this method of craftsmanship to
transmit non -dual unity consciousness across
all things. Wow. And so I had a summer with him.
with his teachings and transmissions and I knew
that he changed my life but at the time I didn't
have the words until years later for what that
was and then at the time I was still thinking
I was going to be a famous scientist and I was
traveling the world being a biologist and so
I told him oh I'm going to Africa to do the study
and he specifically just like you said he wrote
me a postcard and it was like you don't need
to go to Africa everything you need is right
here you know etc exactly what you just said
he's literally a postcard that gave me that message
you have everything you need right where you
are basically yeah and i was young and arrogant
and i wrote him back sort of a a testy arrogant
young man letter of like you know i'm finding
my future and thanks but whatever you know kind
of thing and like that was the last i ever heard
from him and years later i you know as i awakened
into and realized who he was that he was the
first Human to transmit this non -dual state
to me and realize how precious what a beautiful
teacher. He was for me I looked up and he'd already
passed away. Oh He still know you can still talk
We connect, you know and we connect and but it's
beautiful because I literally received that postcard
from my teacher and it was you know He was a
hundred percent right like I didn't need to go
anywhere But just as you said I needed to travel
the world to be able to see that I didn't need
to go anywhere Yeah you know I have a daughter
who's 17 and for just she just told me she wanted
to live with her mom and so I have some freedom
again but there was you know 16 years of of a
world where I wasn't able to travel for more
than two days yeah um and so for like 16 years
of my expansion and my my spiritual growth etc
I was in this world where I was I was very much
through circumstance that I created in the universe
very much constrained to The Bay area or very
quick trips to local, you know, local areas around
and. For years, I was like fighting against that.
And then I just surrendered that, okay, it's
fine. Everything is here. And then the joke is
as soon as I surrendered into that, things shifted
where now I'm like, right now I'm in South America
and I've been all over the world again. When
we surrender our troubles, it is true that they
open up and disappear in very unexpected ways,
for better or worse. I totally understand what
you're saying. Like having... your life by design
and not being able to travel and not having freedom.
Similarly, I had my son when I was young, I was
17 when I had him and I really didn't start traveling
until I guess like the past five years is the
most I've ever traveled in my life. And I'm not
gonna stop. It's only going up from here. But
I did enroll in a workshop. It's five weeks long
in Puerto Rico to learn how to mix and build
Cobb But this structure that we're gonna be working
on does not have any framing yeah, so I'll have
to probably learn a little bit more about how
to incorporate the framing because That's I would
say pretty important. So but at least mixing
it and understanding like, you know how to find
land where do you know how to source the stuff,
what parts to mix and how much and all of that.
That'll be really awesome. And my intention with
that is to learn how to be free anywhere because
Cobb is all over the world. You know, you can
find many different places, different environments
that support that. And it's most of the houses
here where I'm currently in Peru. Most of the
houses are a version of that. Yeah. you know
mud construction it was some timber framing some
simple timber framing from like you know the
local trees but what came to me right as you
were saying starting to what came to me right
was you were talking about your hands in the
mud for five weeks six weeks was you know actually
spiritually but what flashed to me was like oh
you know you mentioned you have like earth dragon
energy you're going to be hands in the mud yes
literally every day whatever for a week at a
time like deeply connecting with the spirits
and the energies of that place and creating with
that and manifesting with that and that actually
alone is going to be the magic that you don't
even know you need oh yes absolutely i actually
already know that and i don't mean to sound like
an asshole no no no no of course you know just
like I saw it and I was like, that's what I need
to do. I know that also. I was, I knew about
the workshop before I went to my most recent
retreat, but while I was at the retreat, we pulled
cards before, you know, for the each night in
the ceremony. One night I pulled a card for the
blue mud dauber. And the card, it says independence.
And it's the ability to go anywhere and make
a home anywhere, even from like other nests and
the general propensity to eliminate threats,
which is beneficial to any ecosystem. And I was
like, okay, we're doing this. But yeah, so then
when I received that in the ceremony, I was like,
this I have to do. I have to do it. And I know
it sounds crazy, like I have an eight year old
and I have a 19 year old son and I'm trying to
have him and his girlfriend make sure that, you
know, they can manage the household for five
weeks and I'm going to pay them. But I think
it's going to be good life experience to, you
know, just to learn how to live without me. Maybe
he'll appreciate me more when I return. But but
I think it's really important. And what I would
like to say. To anyone who feels a little bit
trapped by the life that they've built for themselves
You're not you're not trapped and you can't you
do have freedom and and if you find Something
that will bring you joy and you feel that it's
important for you to learn and you just feel
in your gut That it's aligned with your future.
I encourage you to send it Love that so much,
you know, one of the things to you know, really
often I get people coming to me for sessions
and there's different people who are different
places on the path but there's this one category
of people that come to me for sessions and they
sort of come up and they're a little uncertain
like why they booked the session they're even
maybe a little embarrassed they booked this session
with me but they're sort of like tentative you
know and there's some version of the thing like
like they'll think like well you'll think i'm
crazy but i kind of know i'm meant to do this
There's some version of that, right? You've heard
this version of that too, right? And it happens,
I'm gonna say like 20 % of people that book with
me, they say something like, hey, you might think
I'm crazy or silly or like, you might think this
is a weird fantasy or what, I'm not really sure
if I can really do this, but, and then they say
something that's so true, so pure, so aligned,
so beautiful that it's inexplicably 100 % what
they need to be doing. and they know it, they
just need permission. Yeah, no, I do that. And
I always say like, oh my goodness, that's wonderful,
and they go into their angels and spirit guides
and antesters and Akashic records and just affirm,
yeah, this is possible for you, you know. doesn't
mean that every like pipe dream that you see
like if it's some pipe dream that you see like
you're watching tv and you're like oh I want
the mega yacht and go party in the caribbean
I don't know that's like some some thought but
that's different from like there's a soul yearning
of like that something unfolds from your soul
and gives you a vision of a beautiful you know
future possibility for you that's not it's it's
actually your soul's path and you know as you
just said like encouraging people to send it
in all ways is the thing. And as we send it,
even if it's not like where we end up, that allows
us to have the momentum to then flip over and
go exactly where we need to go. And what happens
is so magical. Back to Monica. You'll take a
little piece from everywhere you go and it'll
all collectively make sense. So you're going
to come back a different woman in a few weeks.
Can you lead for that pretty soon? It'll be...
It's January 17th through February 22nd, but
I think I'm gonna stay a couple days after that
and just have fun. Yeah, I've never been to Puerto
Rico, so that'll be cool. Yeah, I have not been
to those lands. You know, and one thing I love
about travel from this spiritual perspective
is like I love to say like we're pollinators,
which is a form of saying grid work, right? We're
called to certain places. to receive and also
offer energy for and to and with the land and
environment there. We're all called in different
ways. Our human bodies are such energetic powerhouses
of transformation. We're here on earth in the
most positive way to use our energetic awareness
and spiritual gifts of connection and transformation
and alchemy. And we do this with the land and
the spirits and the energies there. And we're
meant to cruise around the way we do to, you
know, from this sort of Western perspective,
perform this service of energy transfer. But
it's simply, you know, it's like a bee goes around
to all the flowers in a field and collects the
nectar and pollinates the flowers and allows
that field and the flowers to regrow. It's as
simple as that. Like, that's part of what humans
are here for. As you were talking, I just recalled,
this must've been about six or seven years ago.
But I remember I was outside one night with my
waspend, that's the term I like to use instead
of ex -husband, yeah, waspend. And I was looking
up at the stars and I was, something came to
me because I always wanted to travel. I wanted
to go to Yellowstone, I still haven't been. I
know I'm going to, I'm gonna travel everywhere
I want to, so I'm not worried. But back then,
I remember thinking like, we never took vacations.
We didn't have a honeymoon. We didn't do anything
because he had a business and it was always all
about the business. And we definitely didn't
travel anywhere for more than two days. And if
we did, I had to pack everything and then wash
everything. So it wasn't really fun. Right. So
I remember one night looking up at the stars
and I said, it's OK if we don't travel because
we have to work and it's really important. And,
you know, when we die. I think that we'll just
be able to bloop wherever we want. We'll just
be able to close our eyes and be like bloop and
we'll be anywhere we want and I'll see everything
then. And that is the saddest fucking thing I've
ever heard. But I was really trying to make myself
feel better. And I remember saying that and I
really believed it. And I was like, it's that
was my way of trying to make it okay. It's okay
if I don't get to travel in this life. I'll do
it when I die. That's what? That is not what
we're supposed to do, you know It's crazy to
me now to think about it's very funny and like
for some people maybe listen to this too. It's
hard to say like There's some people that maybe
it's not travel, you know for some people maybe
it's an experience back home Maybe it's a new
hobby or a new skill or a new way of living where
you are You know, it's like it's about our souls
expression for some of us it is travel for some
of us It might again be you know again a new
a new expression of living in your maybe you're
already in your place and you're fully know like
this is my place and you know and and the adjustment
is literally just like getting out in nature
more and being more aligned with your life wherever
it is like it can look differently for all of
us um but following that version of yeah there's
a loud like siren outside oh i can't hear it
okay perfect um following that version of like
okay you'll think i'm crazy but really i know
my life should be like this yes that is the true
thing yes yes whatever that looks like and for
many of us it is cruising around and experiencing
different energies and integrating that and alchemizing
that um in different ways but yeah yeah it's
funny when you say i say that a lot uh you might
think I'm crazy or this is gonna sound crazy
before I say something crazy because I'm just
trying to prepare people you know I'm just trying
to be nice but it's funny you say that because
I remember one time I went to see my local shaman
the first time I went to see her I was trying
to describe to her how I was seeing different
frequencies and that I saw someone's face change.
And I was like, I swear I'm not crazy, but I
can see like these black spots swirled around
everywhere and like bright flashes. And she's
like. yeah i'm a shaman like you don't have to
say no like i believe you okay you don't have
to say anything like you have this gift but that
was before i knew okay so when i was trying to
speak and say i something might be wrong you
might think i'm crazy i feel crazy this is what's
going on and she was just like i'm a shaman i
got you like we see this no for sure and as we
expand out we can just accept things yeah without
taking it for granted but we you know so now
you know people talk about like you know entities
and spirits and all kinds of things and like
yeah no big deal matter of fact you know and
people yes do you think possibly that there's
something impacting me in this yeah absolutely
sure yeah there's nothing at this point i mean
9 .9 there's no version of this of you know spiritual
experiences that when we do these readings that
we do like we haven't heard people talk about
There's nothing new under the sun. There probably
is some version, but people are experiencing
things all the time every day, and we're taught
not to trust what we already know to be true.
It's so wild. The veil that's been thrown over
us by our cultural conditioning is so powerful
that we're taught not to trust the natural energetic
connections of our bodies and energy fields.
It's so wild. And to always be seeking something
else to look at or watch or, you know, it's like
numbing out with the TV and all the things. So
easy. Initially, I mean, my mediumship is actually
it's not intermittent. I was going to say it's
intermittent. It's not. But things are always
elevated by astrological transits and different
things. So sometimes it's heightened. Sometimes
it's could be could be whatever I have going
on. Who knows? sometimes it's more clear. So
I don't call myself a medium, though I am a medium,
you know. I would say everyone's a medium, right?
There's nothing special to whatever degree. We
all are that. And we can just choose what gifts
we want to, with our path, like, bring forward.
Yes. Well, there's something to that, though.
I've heard that every psychic is a medium, but
not... Wait. Every medium is psychic. But not
every psychic is medium, is what I've heard.
Yeah. So what I'm saying is that energetically,
humans are made to receive. Yeah. Energetically,
humans, our energy bodies and systems are 100
% connected to all things in the universe. And
so we are giving and receiving energies and frequencies
continuously, all of us all the time. energetically,
all of us have that. And just the choice of like,
yeah, we choose, you know, like there are some
people on the shamanic path, for example, Jessica,
you're talking about that, that want to really
be deeply involved with the earth spirits and,
you know, certain places of energies and even
like plant medicines in a very specific way.
Amazing beautiful and go really really deep in
that and those people might not in this fantasy
I'm making up, you know be connected to Astral
realms and angels in the way that I am and there's
no good or bad For either of those both of those
are needed and they're just different ways of
interacting with the universe Yes, but but we
all have the abilities to choose either of that
and to go down the path we just need to train
ourselves and Open up and you know uncondition.
Yeah the beliefs that we're not that It's it's
so interesting as we were just talking I was
imagining the different times in my life where
I was pretty certain that I did See in sense
spirit around me, but this was before I had my
awakening Well, it was just after I had my son
he was he was very young maybe less than two
months old and My parents because I lived with
them. I was 17 they went away for the weekend
and I was home alone. And it seemed like whenever
I was feeding him, because I would be looking
down at him, my peripheral was the only way I
was able to see anything else in the room. And
I kept seeing. Somebody walking around standing
in the corner different like I kept seeing it
and I started to get scared And then I was like
this is silly like you're a parent now like you
can't be afraid of ghosts like get you know So
I said to my mom I'm like mom I'm a little bit
scared because you know, I called her I'm a little
bit scared. I feel like I can see somebody and
then anytime I go to look like they're not there
but like I see them in my peripheral but they're
not there when I look and she goes oh I think
I think you're just tired you might be hallucinating
blah blah like I've never hallucinated in my
life and I'm not really that tired but okay and
then I was talking about it later maybe like
a week later at my grandmother's house and we
were having like a little family get together
and I had an uncle who was diagnosed schizophrenic
And I was describing how I was certain that I
was seeing someone in the room with us, but anytime
that I looked with my eyes, they were gone. And
that I was thinking about it. And I think that
when you look something straight on, your brain
filters it out. But if it's in your peripheral,
you're actually seeing it. So I made this statement
and I said, you know, I think that there are
things around us all the time, but we just can't
see it. Like our brains filter it out, but some
people can see it But I think it's all around
us all the time and I think that it's real and
he was like Yes, I agree with you. I agree with
you. But at the time I was like, well, yeah You
would agree with me because you're talking about
how you can see people He's since passed and
I now wish that I was able to talk with him more
because I think that he was gifted Yeah, no,
I mean so my dad was a psychiatrist And he's
passed away also with dementia a few years ago,
but early on in his career, this was the seventies
and all kinds of things were flowing through
the culture at that time. So he wrote like in
his residency, like academic papers about psychiatric
perspectives on like, for example, people who
are believed that they were abducted by UFOs.
And he did a whole study where he interviewed,
I don't know, dozens, tons of people who had
been abducted, who were certain they had been
inducted. And he said a few things in that paper.
I read that recently after he passed away. I
read sort of all of his papers after he passed
away. And I was blown away by like his awareness
and also then how he needed to, as a young psychiatrist,
as a young doctor, academic, put it into the
framework of society to make it acceptable. So
he said in the paper, he said like, there is
no psychiatric reason that I don't, he's like,
I fully believe these people have the experiences
they had. He's like, he's like, you know, I can't
discount it from any like medical reason that
they're not fully conscious and had the experiences
they had. And simultaneously, he had to say,
I also can't, he says something like, I can't,
omit the possibility that these people are all
psychotic. Yeah, yes. I know this is real and
also I have to make them be have some, you know,
some deviation from normality. And then also
he did a whole study on meditation and kind of
the same thing. He's like, these people were
massively supported and helped and nourished
by this meditation practice. And also he sort
of then had to make some sort of dismissive comments
around like we can't also like dismiss this as
if it's not like a massive psychosis of these
people. Yes. Yes. Like psychiatry has to sort
of anything that's quote not normal has to vilify
in some way. Yes. It's so wild. They have to
cover it with a blanket. Yeah. Yeah. I mean there's
a powerful story from Ram Dass. that when he
came back from India, and I forget the first
or second time, but you know, he had been sitting
with all these psychedelics in the U .S. at Harvard
and then went to India and had met this guru
and had these really intense spiritual experiences.
He came back from one of these trips where he's
wearing a dress, you know, wearing this Indian
costume and has a huge beard and like walks around
barefoot, you know, and he was sort of a upper
middle class Jewish good boy from New England.
uh this you know went to two country clubs it
was very proper before this and then his brother
was in a mental was being hospitalized in a mental
institution and he goes to see his brother and
he was hospitalized and you know institutionalized
his brother was like hey you know what i know
i'm jesus i know i have the answers And Ramana
says like, oh, I also know I'm God, but I also
know that you're God too. But Ramana was able
to get away from this and come back as a spiritual
teacher. And his brother, with many of the same
realizations, then got stuck in society and have
himself be institutionalized. And then they're
there saying the same visions of reality, but
it was different perspectives. And one is free
and revered. And I'm talking about him now. And
the other one is stuck in a mental hospital.
crazy and being wise Right are such a sliver
of closeness with each other is the point like
with your uncle with my father's visions with
my story like They say there's some days. I'm
sure you're the same when I'm doing these readings
and I talked to my sister a lot She's also very
awakened and we kind of laugh sometimes and she's
on her own path of like of like readings and
things too and we're like you know, we whisper
to each other to like Do you think maybe we're
just both completely insane and this is all just
crazy? No, no. I've heard I've heard the saying
that often being crazy is just being right too
early. Yeah, I think that that is totally the
case, especially like when I had my initial awakening,
I was talking with my family members. Eventually,
I started to get a little bit uncomfortable being
myself being by myself because I was aware of
lots of things moving around around me and I
was receiving a lot of information but it wasn't
welcomed so I did not want it I just wanted to
be normal so I was like mom dad like I need I
need to hang out with you guys I'm alone too
much like I can't I can't I don't want to be
here by myself anymore so I went to their house
and stayed over for a couple of nights and I
was talking with them the next morning after
I stayed there and I was like, Do you guys realize
that everything we do every day doesn't actually
matter? And it matters so much more how we feel
than what we're doing. And if everyone in America
just didn't pay their mortgage on the first of
the month, but instead went on vacation, what
the fuck would they do? And I was asking all
these questions. I was like, what if we all just
realized that we are God and nature? And that's
what's important. How old were you? I was 33.
I was 33. And my family was saying that they
thought something was wrong with me. They were
like, why are you talking like this? You never
talk like this. You don't talk about God. Like,
why are you talking like this? You might need
to be evaluated. And I was like, but what I'm
saying is so lovely. Like, what do you mean?
It's right, also. First of all, it's right. Second
of all, it sounds great. Why are you saying I'm
crazy? Yeah. The societal weight that we have
in the West, in the US in particular, where both
of us are, is so strong. But what's beautiful
is that this web of awakening is inexplicably
happening in all kinds of cultures and all enclaves
of society all across the world in ways that
there's more and more of us that look at each
other and know that. the truth of that world
is not real and that what we're experiencing
now and these you know this way that we've been
talking this whole podcast this is what is real
that you know the world is energetic expansive
and amazing we're a part of that and we can connect
with all these realms and beings across the realms
it's all the things you know this is what's real
and that you know all of those things that you
were even speaking to back then yeah no for sure
that is this limited small path that is not necessary
anymore But, you know, also the world that like,
you know, the world that I was born into, the
world that our parents were born into, it was
more dense. You know, we absolutely are in this
period of rapid awakening where particularly
the last five years, but it's been going on for
a long time. You know, the expansion of energy,
the connection, the immediacy of spiritual accessibility.
is so powerful and palpable in ways that it just
wasn't even a few years before that. So things
are even changing rapidly where, you know, like
the young kids, young kids, you know, people
being more now and the super young adults now
have been raised in a time where they take this
spiritual individual connection for granted and
it's so beautiful. compared to the disconnection
and heaviness and weight that we experienced
when we were born and also like our parents for
sure and grandparents, you know, so it's amazing.
Like I can see it in my life, the density of
what from when I was born to now, it's miraculously
different the world that we live in, that I'm
living in now compared to when I was born. It's
a different time. We are absolutely in a new
age, a new era, a new frequency, a new timeline,
whatever language we want to use around that.
Like things are probably powerfully different
now than they were before full stop and that
is part of this awakening like we are arising
individually but also collectively together as
part of the awakening of this world this universe
this this timeline this energy so it's so much
fun we're all here for each other and i'm so
thankful that you're here with your perspective
and experience and viewpoints to offer compassion,
kindness, and understanding for someone else
going through this, and how fortunate all of
your sitters are to be able to work with you.
Because I know firsthand, very lucky to be able
to have you as a resource when I'm stuck on some
things. And I know you know I'm always available.
And we love to chat. Sometimes you call me up
when you're traveling, you have a couple hours
in the car. Yes. This was such a wonderful conversation.
Thank you so much for being here with me today.
And I just, I can't wait till next time. Till
next time. It's been a joy. Have a great one.
Thank you so much. As we close out this conversation,
I want to thank Aaron for his openness and the
depth that he brought into this space. I really
appreciate the way we were able to hold complexity
here. talking about awakening mental health,
fear, spirits, and perception without needing
to over oversimplify any of it. These are conversations
that require discernment, compassion, and context.
And my hope is that something shared here helped
you feel more grounded in your own experience.
If you want to connect with Aaron and his work,
you can find him at Natural Heart Alchemy. You
can find me at Hyacinth Healing and digentoconsulting
.com. Thank you for being here, for listening,
and for trusting in your own lived experience.
I'll see you in the next episode.