WEBVTT 00:00:08.200 --> 00:00:11.039 Welcome, and thank you for tuning in to Black 00:00:11.039 --> 00:00:14.500 Women Amplified, the podcast. Your host Monica 00:00:14.500 --> 00:00:17.600 Wisdom Tyson brings you downloadable conversations 00:00:17.600 --> 00:00:21.219 that matter to women around the globe. We discuss 00:00:21.219 --> 00:00:24.500 all things Black Girl Magic, amplify our voices, 00:00:24.800 --> 00:00:29.339 and transform our challenges into triumphs. Monica 00:00:29.339 --> 00:00:32.039 calls on her league of extraordinary women to 00:00:32.039 --> 00:00:35.240 push our boundaries, share their expertise, and 00:00:35.240 --> 00:00:38.689 stories of personal transformation. Welcome your 00:00:38.689 --> 00:00:42.570 host of Black Women Amplified, Monica Wisdom 00:00:42.570 --> 00:00:52.549 Tyson. If you had the opportunity to live your 00:00:52.549 --> 00:00:56.369 deepest dream, but you had to shift your entire 00:00:56.369 --> 00:01:00.009 life to do it, would you say yes? That's what 00:01:00.009 --> 00:01:02.469 we're going to talk about today, living your 00:01:02.469 --> 00:01:06.750 deepest and most profound dream. We have a very 00:01:06.750 --> 00:01:08.430 special guest in the building. I can't wait for 00:01:08.430 --> 00:01:10.989 you to meet her before we get into the introduction. 00:01:11.170 --> 00:01:13.010 I got to do a little bit of housekeeping, just 00:01:13.010 --> 00:01:15.189 a little bit of housekeeping. I just want to 00:01:15.189 --> 00:01:17.810 remind you to subscribe to the podcast so that 00:01:17.810 --> 00:01:20.489 you don't miss an episode. Make sure you check 00:01:20.489 --> 00:01:22.969 out the previous episodes that we have had. We've 00:01:22.969 --> 00:01:25.930 had some remarkable women on sharing their stories 00:01:25.930 --> 00:01:28.950 and their journeys from a space of vulnerability 00:01:28.950 --> 00:01:33.920 and honesty and authenticity and... I'm telling 00:01:33.920 --> 00:01:36.319 you, those stories move mountains in my life 00:01:36.319 --> 00:01:40.140 and I know they would do the same for you. As 00:01:40.140 --> 00:01:43.060 well as our guest today, I'm a little giddy, 00:01:43.099 --> 00:01:45.719 I'm a little excited because this is my sister 00:01:45.719 --> 00:01:47.700 friend, like for real, for real. Talking about 00:01:47.700 --> 00:01:52.280 over 20 years of friendship and she's very special 00:01:52.280 --> 00:01:54.840 to me. There are people that you meet that become 00:01:54.840 --> 00:01:58.319 friends, peers, associates, and then there are 00:01:58.319 --> 00:02:00.780 people that you meet that become family and she 00:02:00.780 --> 00:02:03.480 is one of those people. Ladies and gentlemen, 00:02:03.540 --> 00:02:07.400 let me introduce to you Rachelle Carey, an American 00:02:07.400 --> 00:02:10.819 broadcaster who is an Emmy award -winning host, 00:02:11.300 --> 00:02:15.319 journalist, and moderator. Her career spans decades 00:02:15.319 --> 00:02:19.300 around the globe from CNN to Al Jazeera America 00:02:19.300 --> 00:02:23.780 and Al Jazeera English. She has made an indelible 00:02:23.780 --> 00:02:27.740 mark in journalism around the globe. Rachelle 00:02:27.740 --> 00:02:31.740 is a fierce interviewer. who seamlessly navigates 00:02:31.740 --> 00:02:35.360 between current affairs, politics, sports, and 00:02:35.360 --> 00:02:39.080 entertainment. She has conducted hundreds of 00:02:39.080 --> 00:02:42.900 interviews with thought leaders, icons, and influencers, 00:02:43.719 --> 00:02:47.280 including Misty Copeland and my favorite girl, 00:02:47.560 --> 00:02:51.500 Janet Jackson. Beyond the camera, Michelle deeply 00:02:51.500 --> 00:02:54.659 cares about ending violence against women, and 00:02:54.659 --> 00:02:58.879 she is actively involved in advocacy. with organizations 00:02:58.879 --> 00:03:01.840 including Men Stopping Violence and No Harm. 00:03:02.520 --> 00:03:06.800 Rochelle's life shifted as she made a choice 00:03:06.800 --> 00:03:10.699 to embrace her deepest dream. From the newsroom 00:03:10.699 --> 00:03:13.960 to motherhood, at 49 she adopted a beautiful 00:03:13.960 --> 00:03:18.460 baby boy. This storyteller became the story and 00:03:18.460 --> 00:03:21.800 she has been featured in Essence Magazine, the 00:03:21.800 --> 00:03:26.699 Tamron Hall Show, and on CNN. I'm so excited 00:03:26.699 --> 00:03:30.099 that she said yes to this interview and she is 00:03:30.099 --> 00:03:32.939 here with us to share her remarkable story and 00:03:32.939 --> 00:03:35.800 her journey to motherhood. Please give a warm 00:03:35.800 --> 00:03:38.800 welcome to my dear sister friend, the incomparable 00:03:38.800 --> 00:03:44.419 Rachelle Carey. Hello everyone and welcome to 00:03:44.419 --> 00:03:47.020 the Black Women Amplified podcast. We have a 00:03:47.020 --> 00:03:50.819 very special guest in the building and I can 00:03:50.819 --> 00:03:54.080 honestly say that this lady is my dear friend. 00:03:54.490 --> 00:03:57.710 And I'm so excited for you to meet her, to learn 00:03:57.710 --> 00:04:01.610 about her journey and her story. And let's welcome 00:04:01.610 --> 00:04:06.129 Rachelle Carey. How are you? I'm good. Before 00:04:06.129 --> 00:04:09.030 we started, I'm great now hearing your voice. 00:04:09.430 --> 00:04:12.569 I am great, great, great. It is always good to 00:04:12.569 --> 00:04:16.089 hear your lovely voice. Your energy just comes 00:04:16.089 --> 00:04:18.610 through the line. And I'm really, really happy 00:04:18.610 --> 00:04:20.269 to be doing this with you, Monica. And thank 00:04:20.269 --> 00:04:23.660 you for inviting me. Thank you for saying yes, 00:04:23.699 --> 00:04:25.639 I'm excited. I'm going to tell you what, I was 00:04:25.639 --> 00:04:28.300 a little nervous because I'm like, this is what 00:04:28.300 --> 00:04:30.319 this girl does for a living. And I'm going to 00:04:30.319 --> 00:04:33.699 ask her a question. Stop. Stop. And you were 00:04:33.699 --> 00:04:36.040 so professional. Like, you could have just fired 00:04:36.040 --> 00:04:38.160 off a text and said, girl, come on my podcast. 00:04:38.259 --> 00:04:40.420 But that's not how you did this. You were so 00:04:40.420 --> 00:04:43.139 professional. You treated me just like you would 00:04:43.139 --> 00:04:45.079 treat any other guest. And I was like, OK, this 00:04:45.079 --> 00:04:46.339 is how we going to be. I'm going to be formal 00:04:46.339 --> 00:04:50.959 too. OK, fine. But I have been watching you do 00:04:50.959 --> 00:04:54.399 this and continue to do this. And you are so 00:04:54.399 --> 00:04:57.600 good. Your heart has always been with people, 00:04:57.920 --> 00:05:00.120 with women. This is a natural extension of who 00:05:00.120 --> 00:05:02.199 you've always been. And you're doing a fantastic 00:05:02.199 --> 00:05:07.680 job. Well, thank you. I appreciate it. Oh, my 00:05:07.680 --> 00:05:10.319 goodness. So you are one of the top journalists 00:05:10.319 --> 00:05:13.220 in the world, not the loudest, but one of the 00:05:13.220 --> 00:05:16.879 best. And honestly, You know how we see this 00:05:16.879 --> 00:05:19.779 friends? You're just my friend. And that's just 00:05:19.779 --> 00:05:23.360 how I see you. And I didn't understand the magnitude 00:05:23.360 --> 00:05:26.720 of your reach or your power until I was on your 00:05:26.720 --> 00:05:30.819 virtual baby shower. And I logged in and I was 00:05:30.819 --> 00:05:36.420 like, first of all, I'm underdressed. And second 00:05:36.420 --> 00:05:40.660 of all, am I on the wrong Zoom link? Because 00:05:40.660 --> 00:05:43.180 I'm not going to say who was on there, but what 00:05:43.180 --> 00:05:46.819 was beautiful to me was the level of respect 00:05:46.819 --> 00:05:49.540 that they all have for you. It was people from 00:05:49.540 --> 00:05:52.860 all across the world literally logging in just 00:05:52.860 --> 00:05:56.319 like I did. And what it showed me is that you 00:05:56.319 --> 00:06:00.319 are the journalist journalist, and you are the 00:06:00.319 --> 00:06:03.699 person that has great character and integrity. 00:06:04.399 --> 00:06:06.660 When did you know that you wanted to be a journalist? 00:06:07.319 --> 00:06:09.339 First of all, everything you just said is tremendously 00:06:09.339 --> 00:06:13.000 kind. I will accept some of that praise and say 00:06:13.000 --> 00:06:15.399 yes, but I'm also gonna remind people you are 00:06:15.399 --> 00:06:17.439 one of my very good friends and you gas me up 00:06:17.439 --> 00:06:21.019 because you love me. Blank, blank, blank, blank, 00:06:21.019 --> 00:06:26.920 blank. I logged off to put on makeup. I mean, 00:06:26.920 --> 00:06:30.399 I logged back on. It was fantastic. It was very 00:06:30.399 --> 00:06:32.540 cool. And I will answer your question, but a 00:06:32.540 --> 00:06:34.439 little more context too for people that don't 00:06:34.439 --> 00:06:36.990 remember. That was during the pandemic when this 00:06:36.990 --> 00:06:38.509 happened, right? So that's why I was a virtual 00:06:38.509 --> 00:06:41.829 baby shower. So it because honestly, I think 00:06:41.829 --> 00:06:44.290 because it was a virtual baby shower, I was able 00:06:44.290 --> 00:06:46.389 to connect with more people than I would have 00:06:46.389 --> 00:06:49.110 been had it been a strictly in person one, because 00:06:49.110 --> 00:06:51.329 my friends live so many different places, right? 00:06:51.529 --> 00:06:54.089 So it really was cool. And I was so happy to 00:06:54.089 --> 00:06:56.209 see you there. And I'm glad that you enjoy that 00:06:56.209 --> 00:06:58.810 moment as much as I did. As far as when I knew 00:06:58.810 --> 00:07:02.290 I wanted to do this girl, I changed my major 00:07:02.290 --> 00:07:06.199 so many times in school. If my mom is listening, 00:07:06.259 --> 00:07:09.199 this is probably triggering to her. But I do 00:07:09.199 --> 00:07:12.439 remember when I was very young that I always 00:07:12.439 --> 00:07:15.139 liked watching the news. Like at a very, very 00:07:15.139 --> 00:07:17.500 young age, I remember watching the news. I was 00:07:17.500 --> 00:07:19.980 like eight, nine, 10. I would watch with my grandfather 00:07:19.980 --> 00:07:23.420 sometimes on Paw Paw. And I can't say that I 00:07:23.420 --> 00:07:25.480 thought then, oh, this is something I want to 00:07:25.480 --> 00:07:29.399 do. But I do remember being hyper aware of current 00:07:29.399 --> 00:07:33.240 events at a very young age. Then when I was in 00:07:33.240 --> 00:07:36.110 college, No backup. I actually remember a girl 00:07:36.110 --> 00:07:38.829 that I was friends with in high school. I remember 00:07:38.829 --> 00:07:41.470 she always said she wanted to be a newscaster. 00:07:41.910 --> 00:07:43.930 And to be honest, that was the first time it 00:07:43.930 --> 00:07:46.290 ever truly crossed my mind that that was like 00:07:46.290 --> 00:07:48.569 a real job that people could, that was attainable. 00:07:48.569 --> 00:07:50.709 It wasn't just people you saw on TV doing it. 00:07:51.329 --> 00:07:53.709 And then when I was in college, I think it may 00:07:53.709 --> 00:07:56.889 be my third major, I was political science major 00:07:56.889 --> 00:08:00.290 after having changed from like biology to something 00:08:00.290 --> 00:08:02.410 else, to political science. And I was a minor 00:08:02.410 --> 00:08:05.250 in telecommunications. And when I took that intro 00:08:05.250 --> 00:08:07.850 to telecommunications and we started learning 00:08:07.850 --> 00:08:10.689 how to write broadcast news, that's when I realized, 00:08:10.689 --> 00:08:13.389 oh, this is what I'm actually supposed to be 00:08:13.389 --> 00:08:16.910 doing. And that's when the bug hit me. And then 00:08:16.910 --> 00:08:21.769 it took off from there. Now, I noticed that now 00:08:21.769 --> 00:08:24.430 in this era of journalism, people seem to be 00:08:24.430 --> 00:08:29.680 plucked into media from viral moments. And you 00:08:29.680 --> 00:08:32.059 took the more traditional route. Can you talk 00:08:32.059 --> 00:08:35.299 to us about the journey from local news to Al 00:08:35.299 --> 00:08:39.299 Jazeera upfront? So I graduated from college 00:08:39.299 --> 00:08:44.019 and at the time I knew that I did want to go 00:08:44.019 --> 00:08:48.940 into broadcast news, television news, but I wasn't 00:08:48.940 --> 00:08:52.139 really sure how to go about it because in the 00:08:52.139 --> 00:08:55.039 era when I was doing this, generally speaking, 00:08:55.139 --> 00:08:58.909 the path was you would go. To a small tv market 00:08:58.909 --> 00:09:01.529 where you would make almost no money and then 00:09:01.529 --> 00:09:05.450 you would work your way up right. So what i did 00:09:05.450 --> 00:09:08.090 was when i graduated from college i moved back 00:09:08.090 --> 00:09:11.629 home to houston. And at that point, I just went 00:09:11.629 --> 00:09:14.309 and got a regular job at the bank, a full time 00:09:14.309 --> 00:09:17.830 job. And then what I did on the weekend is I 00:09:17.830 --> 00:09:21.190 got an internship at the NBC station here in 00:09:21.190 --> 00:09:24.090 Houston, which is a big TV market. But you don't 00:09:24.090 --> 00:09:26.789 start on air at a top 10 market. I mean, now 00:09:26.789 --> 00:09:29.769 you might, but in my day, you did not. So I worked 00:09:29.769 --> 00:09:32.490 full time at a bank five days a week. And then 00:09:32.490 --> 00:09:34.769 on the weekend, Saturday and Sunday, I would 00:09:34.769 --> 00:09:38.240 go. and rip scripts and pass out scripts and 00:09:38.240 --> 00:09:40.419 get coffee and all that kind of stuff on the 00:09:40.419 --> 00:09:44.299 weekend morning newscast at KPRC. And then progressively 00:09:44.299 --> 00:09:47.440 over the course of three years, I eventually 00:09:47.440 --> 00:09:50.220 started working less at the bank and turned it 00:09:50.220 --> 00:09:53.320 to a real job at KPRC as an associate producer 00:09:53.320 --> 00:09:56.019 or basically a writer. And then after about three 00:09:56.019 --> 00:09:57.679 years, I was like, you know, I really actually 00:09:57.679 --> 00:09:59.879 want to be on camera, but I wasn't going to get 00:09:59.879 --> 00:10:02.759 to start in Houston doing that. So that meant 00:10:02.759 --> 00:10:06.620 having to go to a small market. So I did. I quit 00:10:06.620 --> 00:10:10.399 KPRC. I moved back to the Waco market, which 00:10:10.399 --> 00:10:13.059 I knew from Baylor. And I started there as an 00:10:13.059 --> 00:10:16.179 on -air reporter making like $5 an hour, Monica. 00:10:16.200 --> 00:10:17.779 I'm not even kidding. My parents were helping 00:10:17.779 --> 00:10:21.259 me pay my rent, pay my insurance. So I was on 00:10:21.259 --> 00:10:25.799 TV, but making $5 an hour. And then from there, 00:10:25.840 --> 00:10:29.000 let me see, worked Waco, Temple, Killeen Market, 00:10:29.919 --> 00:10:36.809 then Tyler, Texas, then Las Vegas. Then St. Louis, 00:10:36.950 --> 00:10:39.009 which is where you and I met, then went to CNN 00:10:39.009 --> 00:10:41.669 headline news from there, and then went to Al 00:10:41.669 --> 00:10:43.690 Jazeera from there. That is the course of my 00:10:43.690 --> 00:10:46.649 career, which spans about 20 years and a lot 00:10:46.649 --> 00:10:51.450 of moving. You got it. And you know, that's interesting 00:10:51.450 --> 00:10:53.029 with journalists because you do have to move 00:10:53.029 --> 00:10:55.970 around a lot to go up the career path. It's not 00:10:55.970 --> 00:10:58.889 really very rare that somebody stays in one spot 00:10:58.889 --> 00:11:03.159 for 25 years. Exactly. Now, you have, beyond 00:11:03.159 --> 00:11:06.200 your great career, you've often been a voice 00:11:06.200 --> 00:11:08.820 for the voiceless, covering stories that include 00:11:08.820 --> 00:11:11.960 violence against women. Is that how you got involved 00:11:11.960 --> 00:11:16.539 with men stopping violence? So when I had been 00:11:16.539 --> 00:11:20.919 at CNN Headline News, we need to pour out a little 00:11:20.919 --> 00:11:23.120 liquor for Headline News because it's not there 00:11:23.120 --> 00:11:27.419 anymore. But it was so good to me. I had been 00:11:27.419 --> 00:11:30.389 there. Not very long, Monica. I want to say maybe 00:11:30.389 --> 00:11:34.090 a year or so. And the PR department, they had 00:11:34.090 --> 00:11:37.129 the place where people that needed, wanted speakers 00:11:37.129 --> 00:11:39.590 could put in requests through CNN and then CNN 00:11:39.590 --> 00:11:41.909 would match you with an anchor if you weren't 00:11:41.909 --> 00:11:45.250 requesting a specific anchor. And this group 00:11:45.250 --> 00:11:47.509 called Men Stopping Violence was based in Atlanta 00:11:47.509 --> 00:11:49.629 and they had their big fundraiser coming up. 00:11:49.669 --> 00:11:52.129 And at this particular year, they were honoring 00:11:52.129 --> 00:11:55.860 Ted Turner. and they requested an anchor from 00:11:55.860 --> 00:11:58.820 CNN and PR asked me if I wanted to do it. So 00:11:58.820 --> 00:12:00.759 that's how I became involved initially with the 00:12:00.759 --> 00:12:02.759 organization. So maybe two or three years in 00:12:02.759 --> 00:12:06.139 a row, I showed up and just emceed the event. 00:12:06.779 --> 00:12:11.519 But you can't really be around this group and 00:12:11.519 --> 00:12:13.840 not listen and try to learn. And then what ended 00:12:13.840 --> 00:12:16.600 up happening, I'll never forget this, when Chris 00:12:16.600 --> 00:12:21.120 Brown assaulted Rihanna, I was really I was so 00:12:21.120 --> 00:12:25.059 disturbed by the dialogue around it. Obviously, 00:12:25.159 --> 00:12:27.860 it was awful what happened to her. What was equally 00:12:27.860 --> 00:12:30.879 awful, in my opinion, was the way that she was 00:12:30.879 --> 00:12:34.759 being blamed. Particularly, I saw young women 00:12:34.759 --> 00:12:37.080 that were buying into the idea that what had 00:12:37.080 --> 00:12:39.179 she done to deserve this, and I was so troubled 00:12:39.179 --> 00:12:41.820 by it. At that point, I went to go meet with 00:12:41.820 --> 00:12:43.580 the woman who was the director of Men Stopping 00:12:43.580 --> 00:12:46.399 Violence at the time, and I said, Shelly and 00:12:46.399 --> 00:12:47.940 Hilda, how was feeling? And she's like, I said, 00:12:48.019 --> 00:12:49.879 it's time for me to do more than just show up 00:12:49.879 --> 00:12:52.039 in a pretty dress and MC the event. She's like, 00:12:52.259 --> 00:12:54.059 well, we were hoping to stay with five. We come, 00:12:54.100 --> 00:12:59.580 would you like to be on the board? You were like, 00:12:59.580 --> 00:13:02.179 well, I just thought about filling out envelopes. 00:13:02.700 --> 00:13:07.139 I was like, what are you talking about? They 00:13:07.139 --> 00:13:10.559 had been hoping. And sure enough, it lit a fire 00:13:10.559 --> 00:13:12.639 in me and that even though I am not involved 00:13:12.639 --> 00:13:15.379 with the organization anymore. that fire is still 00:13:15.379 --> 00:13:17.519 in me and it's something that has changed the 00:13:17.519 --> 00:13:20.080 way I see things. And I'm very grateful for that 00:13:20.080 --> 00:13:23.159 time and that moment. I remember coming to the 00:13:23.159 --> 00:13:27.059 event in Atlanta. Don Lemon was the co -host, 00:13:27.299 --> 00:13:29.320 I think. Yes, that year he was, yes. And you 00:13:29.320 --> 00:13:33.000 all were honoring Tim McGraw because he had pulled, 00:13:33.139 --> 00:13:36.440 he had protected a woman at his show. Yep. Talk 00:13:36.440 --> 00:13:41.039 about juxtaposed to Chris Brown. Girl. Oh my 00:13:41.039 --> 00:13:43.080 gosh. You're right. And wait, wasn't Hill Harper 00:13:43.080 --> 00:13:46.720 there the same year? I don't think so. I don't 00:13:46.720 --> 00:13:49.539 know. No, Monica. Yes, he was. I feel like that 00:13:49.539 --> 00:13:51.799 was the same year. Because that year we were 00:13:51.799 --> 00:13:54.679 like, we are on fire. Yeah, we got Tim McGraw. 00:13:55.299 --> 00:13:57.740 Was Hill Harper the speaker? Maybe I have two 00:13:57.740 --> 00:13:59.940 years running together in my brain. But I do 00:13:59.940 --> 00:14:01.799 remember Tim McGraw. I do remember you being 00:14:01.799 --> 00:14:04.080 there. And that was a fan. And yeah, you're right. 00:14:04.159 --> 00:14:07.460 We highlighted him because there was a woman 00:14:07.460 --> 00:14:10.720 at one of his concerts. who he could see from 00:14:10.720 --> 00:14:14.200 on stage was basically being pretty much assaulted 00:14:14.200 --> 00:14:16.960 by like a jerk in the audience. And he called 00:14:16.960 --> 00:14:19.200 that guy out in the middle of his show. It was 00:14:19.200 --> 00:14:20.860 like, no, this is not happening. And basically 00:14:20.860 --> 00:14:23.440 had the guy kicked out. And we thought that it 00:14:23.440 --> 00:14:27.279 was important to highlight men who knew what 00:14:27.279 --> 00:14:31.759 their role was in pushing back that type of aggressive, 00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:34.720 masculine, abusive behavior. And to this day, 00:14:35.159 --> 00:14:37.879 he's just the nicest guy. I thought that was 00:14:37.879 --> 00:14:40.120 incredible. He stopped. I remember just watching 00:14:40.120 --> 00:14:43.019 the video and he stopped his whole show to protect 00:14:43.019 --> 00:14:45.679 this woman. And I was like, it was beautiful 00:14:45.679 --> 00:14:50.299 to see because you normally see the violators, 00:14:50.600 --> 00:14:53.519 not the heroes. So we got to see a man being 00:14:53.519 --> 00:14:56.240 a hero and protecting a woman. I was like, Oh, 00:14:56.340 --> 00:15:00.460 absolutely. All of you need to do this. Exactly. 00:15:02.710 --> 00:15:05.149 And honestly, to this day, it's funny that, yeah, 00:15:05.149 --> 00:15:07.049 interesting that you brought that up. I'm on 00:15:07.049 --> 00:15:08.990 the tickety -tock a little bit more than I should 00:15:08.990 --> 00:15:14.009 be. And I saw there was a guy that I follow on 00:15:14.009 --> 00:15:16.809 TikTok who posted a video the other day talking 00:15:16.809 --> 00:15:18.690 about how he never realized how handsome Tim 00:15:18.690 --> 00:15:21.210 McGraw was. And I went in the comments and I 00:15:21.210 --> 00:15:23.409 said, well, he is handsome. I go, but he's actually 00:15:23.409 --> 00:15:25.389 a really cool dude. And I love to be able to 00:15:25.389 --> 00:15:27.490 tell people because sometimes, you know, Monica, 00:15:27.490 --> 00:15:29.870 we don't know these people. We don't know celebrities. 00:15:30.009 --> 00:15:33.070 We think we do. And we hope we do, but we don't 00:15:33.070 --> 00:15:35.669 really. And to be honest, I mean, I'm not friends 00:15:35.669 --> 00:15:38.529 with Tim McGraw, but I can just say that I am 00:15:38.529 --> 00:15:41.870 aware of the type of great things he's capable 00:15:41.870 --> 00:15:43.409 of. And it's just nice to be able to say that 00:15:43.409 --> 00:15:46.370 about somebody. I know, I know, especially in 00:15:46.370 --> 00:15:48.330 the music industry when we hear so much other 00:15:48.330 --> 00:15:51.070 stuff. Absolutely. And to be so respectful of 00:15:51.070 --> 00:15:54.090 a woman, that was beautiful to see. And you've 00:15:54.090 --> 00:15:57.990 done all of this great philanthropic work, but 00:15:57.990 --> 00:16:00.110 you've also interviewed some of our favorites. 00:16:00.409 --> 00:16:04.230 including Mary J. Blige and Misty Copeland, Chaka 00:16:04.230 --> 00:16:07.250 Khan and my personal queen, Janet Jackson. Who 00:16:07.250 --> 00:16:13.970 would that be? The rhythm nation, please stand 00:16:13.970 --> 00:16:18.750 up. Now, you cover, like you go from celebrity 00:16:18.750 --> 00:16:22.409 to world leaders who you hold the task. How are 00:16:22.409 --> 00:16:25.750 you able to shift gears? And what are some of 00:16:25.750 --> 00:16:28.769 the memorable moments during those interviews? 00:16:29.259 --> 00:16:31.480 that she can share with us. I think the best 00:16:31.480 --> 00:16:35.779 way to approach it is realizing that no matter 00:16:35.779 --> 00:16:38.840 who these people are, at the end of the day, 00:16:38.940 --> 00:16:42.360 it is still just a conversation. And I know that 00:16:42.360 --> 00:16:45.340 seems like a really basic thing to say, but it 00:16:45.340 --> 00:16:48.659 really is true. And I think Janet Jackson was 00:16:48.659 --> 00:16:52.360 probably the first big, big, well, let me think. 00:16:52.460 --> 00:16:54.840 I've interviewed famous people before her, but 00:16:54.840 --> 00:16:58.049 she was probably the biggest, I would say. And 00:16:58.049 --> 00:17:01.690 she was nice. She was normal, for lack of a better 00:17:01.690 --> 00:17:05.289 term. And the best way to get anywhere is to 00:17:05.289 --> 00:17:07.589 talk to them like they are people. I think that 00:17:07.589 --> 00:17:10.329 those are the best conversations to have, whether 00:17:10.329 --> 00:17:13.710 it is somebody who's a big time celebrity or 00:17:13.710 --> 00:17:18.089 somebody who's ahead of state or some big international 00:17:18.089 --> 00:17:21.109 official. You have to remember who you are, too. 00:17:21.210 --> 00:17:23.029 You know, there's no reason to be intimidated 00:17:23.029 --> 00:17:25.430 by these people. And I can't say. There are times 00:17:25.430 --> 00:17:27.609 that I probably have been, but then you have 00:17:27.609 --> 00:17:30.650 to remember who you are and you're an equal. 00:17:30.750 --> 00:17:33.190 And that's how I try to approach these things. 00:17:35.309 --> 00:17:37.910 Hello everyone. Monica wisdom here. I am the 00:17:37.910 --> 00:17:40.750 host and the producer of the black women amplify 00:17:40.750 --> 00:17:44.230 podcast. But what you might not know is that 00:17:44.230 --> 00:17:46.930 I'm also a consultant for women entrepreneurs. 00:17:48.049 --> 00:17:50.769 I help women entrepreneurs develop their ideas, 00:17:51.329 --> 00:17:54.390 their brand and their overall business strategy. 00:17:54.680 --> 00:17:58.619 Are you developing a groundbreaking idea or have 00:17:58.619 --> 00:18:01.460 a wealth of knowledge that could impact the world, 00:18:01.599 --> 00:18:05.160 but unsure where to go next? Business is good, 00:18:05.160 --> 00:18:08.839 but you're ready for it to be great. With countless 00:18:08.839 --> 00:18:11.859 ideas racing through your mind, it's challenging 00:18:11.859 --> 00:18:15.740 to figure out what's next. I understand you have 00:18:15.740 --> 00:18:18.940 excelled with top companies, but entrepreneurship 00:18:18.940 --> 00:18:23.339 feels like a new language. The truth is you can 00:18:23.339 --> 00:18:27.299 do this. You've achieved great success for others, 00:18:27.559 --> 00:18:30.460 and now it's time to achieve it for yourself. 00:18:31.279 --> 00:18:34.500 At Monaco Wisdom Consulting, we focus on your 00:18:34.500 --> 00:18:37.819 vision and crafting a clear, concise strategic 00:18:37.819 --> 00:18:42.039 plan. Your dreams are within reach. You simply 00:18:42.039 --> 00:18:46.519 need a powerful roadmap to get you there. Are 00:18:46.519 --> 00:18:49.299 you ready to take the next step? Book a call 00:18:49.299 --> 00:18:52.829 and let's discuss your vision and future. You 00:18:52.829 --> 00:19:01.670 can reach me at www .monicawisdomhq .com. Where 00:19:01.670 --> 00:19:03.930 did you get that level of, you've always had 00:19:03.930 --> 00:19:06.509 a lot of confidence in my opinion. Where did 00:19:06.509 --> 00:19:09.069 you get that fierceness and that level of confidence 00:19:09.069 --> 00:19:12.609 that you have? Cause you always had it. Well, 00:19:12.829 --> 00:19:15.230 I faked it for a while. So just so you're aware 00:19:15.230 --> 00:19:22.079 of that. Like I never even aspired to. be a national 00:19:22.079 --> 00:19:25.200 news anchor. My goal was to work my way back 00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:29.599 to Houston or either Dallas and that would be 00:19:29.599 --> 00:19:32.039 fine. And that is fine. I don't like how that 00:19:32.039 --> 00:19:34.599 sounded. I'm not trying to imply that a national 00:19:34.599 --> 00:19:36.440 anchor is somehow better or more accomplished 00:19:36.440 --> 00:19:39.140 than a local anchor because there are local anchors 00:19:39.140 --> 00:19:41.480 all across the country for decades doing amazing 00:19:41.480 --> 00:19:43.559 work and mean a lot to people in their community. 00:19:43.680 --> 00:19:46.380 But what I'm trying to say is that I just never 00:19:46.380 --> 00:19:48.900 even thought I'd apply at CNN or someplace like 00:19:48.900 --> 00:19:52.240 that. For me, it may have been, if I'm really 00:19:52.240 --> 00:19:55.180 honest, I didn't think I was good enough for 00:19:55.180 --> 00:19:58.000 that. It just didn't cross my mind. So confidence 00:19:58.000 --> 00:20:02.200 is something that has grown with age. And I'm 00:20:02.200 --> 00:20:07.160 52. I just don't care about it anymore. It's 00:20:07.160 --> 00:20:11.519 the best feeling. I just don't. There's so much 00:20:11.519 --> 00:20:14.339 less that I care about now, Monica, and I find 00:20:14.339 --> 00:20:16.400 that happens with age. Is that something you 00:20:16.400 --> 00:20:20.450 find, too? Oh, my God. literally could care less. 00:20:20.930 --> 00:20:23.130 I look at all the people and doing all the things, 00:20:23.170 --> 00:20:27.170 I'm like, I've done it. That's boring now. What's 00:20:27.170 --> 00:20:30.829 the next adventure, you know? Or nothingness, 00:20:31.250 --> 00:20:35.009 just nothing. Exactly. You know, it's more important 00:20:35.009 --> 00:20:39.009 for me to be okay with myself than to care about 00:20:39.009 --> 00:20:41.750 what other people think. I could not agree more. 00:20:41.849 --> 00:20:45.230 And sometimes I get mad when I think back on 00:20:45.230 --> 00:20:49.329 all the time I wasted. caring about what people 00:20:49.329 --> 00:20:51.490 thought when I was younger, but I think that's 00:20:51.490 --> 00:20:53.970 just part of growth and it's normal to feel that 00:20:53.970 --> 00:20:57.150 way at certain ages. But man, the times in my 00:20:57.150 --> 00:20:59.849 twenties, even my thirties that I was still caring, 00:21:00.410 --> 00:21:02.349 like, Oh my God, I can't believe I gave that 00:21:02.349 --> 00:21:04.049 person a second thought or what they thought 00:21:04.049 --> 00:21:07.549 about me is if it mattered. It's like the spiritual 00:21:07.549 --> 00:21:09.329 people say you got to call your energy back. 00:21:09.470 --> 00:21:13.869 Absolutely. So much time and energy wasted. Just 00:21:13.869 --> 00:21:17.900 like, Oh my goodness. yes yes yes now i have 00:21:17.900 --> 00:21:20.460 the most important question to ask and this is 00:21:20.460 --> 00:21:23.859 a defining question so i have to ask you what 00:21:23.859 --> 00:21:28.819 is easier calling a world leader to task or negotiating 00:21:28.819 --> 00:21:34.180 with a toddler let me tell you something let 00:21:34.180 --> 00:21:38.420 me tell you something monica i have moments where 00:21:38.420 --> 00:21:42.940 i will literally he will be trying to negotiate 00:21:42.940 --> 00:21:45.220 or argue with me and i'll stop me like why he's 00:21:45.220 --> 00:21:47.299 three what am i doing why are you doing this 00:21:47.299 --> 00:21:50.359 with that he will say the thing he likes to say 00:21:50.359 --> 00:21:53.619 the other night. He wanted some milk when he 00:21:53.619 --> 00:21:55.259 woke up in the middle of the night okay even 00:21:55.259 --> 00:21:56.680 though he's like three and a half he still likes 00:21:56.680 --> 00:21:59.579 milk and i said hey now he's wide awake i said 00:21:59.579 --> 00:22:01.400 every you know mommy doesn't want you to have 00:22:01.400 --> 00:22:03.660 any milk i don't want you to tt in the bed this 00:22:03.660 --> 00:22:06.460 is what he said to me just okay okay if i just 00:22:06.460 --> 00:22:09.359 have just a little bit of milk and then i will 00:22:09.359 --> 00:22:11.930 go to sleep. and then I will get up in the morning 00:22:11.930 --> 00:22:14.549 and go to school. You're not doing me a favor. 00:22:14.690 --> 00:22:17.930 You're doing this no matter what, but he's serious, 00:22:18.289 --> 00:22:21.410 Monica. He is dead serious. He actually, when 00:22:21.410 --> 00:22:24.569 he was about two is when he started saying, okay, 00:22:24.710 --> 00:22:33.089 how about, oh my gosh. So yeah, I think I would 00:22:33.089 --> 00:22:36.690 rather maybe ask somebody about war crimes than 00:22:36.690 --> 00:22:41.029 actually try to negotiate with my toddler. That's 00:22:41.029 --> 00:22:43.349 why I knew it was a defining question, because 00:22:43.349 --> 00:22:48.170 now you had this big life as a journalist, and 00:22:48.170 --> 00:22:52.130 now you're a mommy. So before I ask about the 00:22:52.130 --> 00:22:54.569 process or the journey of motherhood, what I 00:22:54.569 --> 00:22:57.809 want to know is the mindset shift you had to 00:22:57.809 --> 00:23:01.789 make from living this big life overseas to coming 00:23:01.789 --> 00:23:05.089 home and just focusing on not just, but being 00:23:05.089 --> 00:23:09.920 a mother. I think one of the bonuses of me doing 00:23:09.920 --> 00:23:15.079 this later in life is that I don't have any FOMO. 00:23:15.380 --> 00:23:19.119 Like I don't feel like I wish I was traveling 00:23:19.119 --> 00:23:20.759 and doing all these wonderful things because 00:23:20.759 --> 00:23:23.839 I was able to do those things. So in that sense, 00:23:24.319 --> 00:23:26.460 the mind, the shifting of my mind has been a 00:23:26.460 --> 00:23:29.039 little, it's not, it's been okay, right? Now 00:23:29.039 --> 00:23:31.420 don't get me wrong. I miss being, you know, single 00:23:31.420 --> 00:23:33.240 with the passport and just going wherever I wanted 00:23:33.240 --> 00:23:38.130 when I wanted, but I feel like right now that 00:23:38.130 --> 00:23:41.450 part of my life at least is on hold until Avery 00:23:41.450 --> 00:23:43.549 and I can run around the world together. But 00:23:43.549 --> 00:23:46.289 it has been, so in that sense, it's been an issue 00:23:46.289 --> 00:23:49.150 shift because I just was ready. I was beyond 00:23:49.150 --> 00:23:52.210 ready. So it all makes sense. Now there are things 00:23:52.210 --> 00:23:55.160 that I. Have to think about ways that i didn't 00:23:55.160 --> 00:23:59.039 before even now i have had some hosting and moderating 00:23:59.039 --> 00:24:01.420 opportunities that have come up that have been 00:24:01.420 --> 00:24:03.940 for events that are out of the country that would 00:24:03.940 --> 00:24:07.019 take me away from maybe for a significant well 00:24:07.019 --> 00:24:10.240 not significant but for a toddler we can be a 00:24:10.240 --> 00:24:12.200 long time. particularly when I'm a single parent 00:24:12.200 --> 00:24:13.819 and it would be my parents taking care of him. 00:24:14.180 --> 00:24:17.000 So he factors in my decisions in a way that before 00:24:17.000 --> 00:24:18.660 him, I'd have just been like, sure, here I come. 00:24:18.759 --> 00:24:20.960 Let me come do that. Right. So I have not to 00:24:20.960 --> 00:24:22.859 change the way I think, but I wouldn't change 00:24:22.859 --> 00:24:24.720 it for the world. And it's kind of automatic 00:24:24.720 --> 00:24:27.839 now. Yeah. But you know, you just always put 00:24:27.839 --> 00:24:30.339 them in your backpack. Well, and he does have 00:24:30.339 --> 00:24:33.079 a passport. I got him a passport. So at some 00:24:33.079 --> 00:24:34.839 point we are going to be running around the globe 00:24:34.839 --> 00:24:39.980 together. Now you, you have quite a fascinating 00:24:39.980 --> 00:24:43.619 motherhood story and I love it. I remember calling 00:24:43.619 --> 00:24:45.160 you one day. I was like, Hey girl, what's up? 00:24:45.200 --> 00:24:48.339 You're like, Oh, I'm about to adopt a baby in 00:24:48.339 --> 00:24:54.000 a couple of days. I said, no, what now? Listeners 00:24:54.000 --> 00:24:59.519 about this dynamic story. It actually did. It 00:24:59.519 --> 00:25:02.420 took a long time and then it went really fast. 00:25:02.539 --> 00:25:05.059 Just like you described when I was in my early 00:25:05.059 --> 00:25:08.880 forties. I froze my eggs. I hadn't been very 00:25:08.880 --> 00:25:11.359 intentional about building a family. I just kind 00:25:11.359 --> 00:25:13.220 of always assumed at some point I would meet 00:25:13.220 --> 00:25:15.119 some great guy, get married, have kids, and that 00:25:15.119 --> 00:25:17.980 just wasn't happening. So I froze my eggs in 00:25:17.980 --> 00:25:20.259 my 40s trying to give myself a little more time. 00:25:20.660 --> 00:25:22.660 Truth is, I wouldn't advise anyone listening, 00:25:22.819 --> 00:25:24.480 I wouldn't advise freezing your eggs in your 00:25:24.480 --> 00:25:26.359 40s. I would advise doing it much younger if 00:25:26.359 --> 00:25:28.779 you could. Yeah, everyone can't afford to do 00:25:28.779 --> 00:25:30.700 it when they're in their 20s or 30s. But freezing 00:25:30.700 --> 00:25:32.480 your eggs in your 40s, you're not going to get 00:25:32.480 --> 00:25:34.380 that many eggs and they're not necessarily going 00:25:34.380 --> 00:25:36.859 to be the most viable. But no regrets. But that's 00:25:36.859 --> 00:25:39.039 just something I would tell other women. So I 00:25:39.039 --> 00:25:42.119 froze my eggs in my 40s, early 40s. And by the 00:25:42.119 --> 00:25:46.480 time I was 47, I tried IVF with the sperm donor 00:25:46.480 --> 00:25:49.180 from the sperm bank. That didn't work. And then 00:25:49.180 --> 00:25:53.200 I pivoted to adoption. So between my egg freezing 00:25:53.200 --> 00:25:58.000 IVF Applying to get on an adoption list that 00:25:58.000 --> 00:26:01.720 spanned pretty much all my 40s, right? So then 00:26:01.720 --> 00:26:05.619 when I was 49 when I quit my job at Al Jazeera 00:26:05.619 --> 00:26:08.079 and I moved home and at this point I was already 00:26:08.079 --> 00:26:10.700 on an adoption wait list and had been for a while 00:26:10.700 --> 00:26:12.640 but I just felt that it was time to come home 00:26:12.640 --> 00:26:14.880 to the US and that that could also perhaps make 00:26:14.880 --> 00:26:16.880 it easier for me to get matched with a birth 00:26:16.880 --> 00:26:19.460 mother and a baby. So what happened is Saturday 00:26:19.460 --> 00:26:21.640 morning, I never forget I was walking out of 00:26:21.640 --> 00:26:24.480 the gym and I got a phone call. And my adoption 00:26:24.480 --> 00:26:28.799 agency said we have a birth mother who has a 00:26:28.799 --> 00:26:31.960 baby who is already about six weeks old. We want 00:26:31.960 --> 00:26:34.880 to show her your adoption profile, but we don't 00:26:34.880 --> 00:26:37.200 want to show it to her unless you're really in 00:26:37.200 --> 00:26:39.650 a position like to take a baby right away. And 00:26:39.650 --> 00:26:41.809 let me give you some context. Well, what often 00:26:41.809 --> 00:26:44.349 happens is you will make an adoption book, a 00:26:44.349 --> 00:26:46.349 profile bill presented to birth mothers and the 00:26:46.349 --> 00:26:48.029 birth mothers may pick you and maybe want to 00:26:48.029 --> 00:26:50.190 interview you. But often the birth mothers are 00:26:50.190 --> 00:26:52.950 still pregnant at the time. So you have time 00:26:52.950 --> 00:26:55.190 by the time you get picked, you have time a few 00:26:55.190 --> 00:26:57.410 months to prepare. Right. So that's why they 00:26:57.410 --> 00:26:59.609 were saying, no, we already have a baby who would 00:26:59.609 --> 00:27:01.789 need immediate placement if the birth mother 00:27:01.789 --> 00:27:04.829 picks you. And I said, okay, sure. Go ahead. 00:27:04.849 --> 00:27:07.930 Sure. My book. They called me back that afternoon 00:27:07.930 --> 00:27:11.089 and said, can you get to Dallas tomorrow to come 00:27:11.089 --> 00:27:13.970 meet her? So, okay, so that's Saturday, Saturday 00:27:13.970 --> 00:27:16.430 to Sunday, get upset Sunday morning, go to Dallas, 00:27:16.490 --> 00:27:19.750 meet her, meet the baby. And then by Wednesday, 00:27:19.950 --> 00:27:23.690 I physically had Avery. So the whole process 00:27:23.690 --> 00:27:25.650 took years just for it to end up taking like 00:27:25.650 --> 00:27:30.470 four days. And it was the coolest. Wow. I know 00:27:30.470 --> 00:27:33.250 it was fast, but I didn't know it was that fast. 00:27:34.279 --> 00:27:37.019 Oh my goodness. So how long from the time you 00:27:37.019 --> 00:27:40.660 moved home until you had that conversation? Oh, 00:27:40.700 --> 00:27:43.539 that's a good question. Let me see. Actually, 00:27:44.220 --> 00:27:47.000 my anniversary of moving home was four years 00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:50.400 ago. This week is when I moved home. So I moved 00:27:50.400 --> 00:27:56.819 home in June of 2020 and then I was matched with 00:27:56.819 --> 00:27:59.680 Avery in March. So what is that? Seven, eight 00:27:59.680 --> 00:28:02.660 months, not very long at all. Oh, that's beautiful. 00:28:03.019 --> 00:28:05.519 And it's beautiful because you and your parents 00:28:05.519 --> 00:28:08.759 are so close and i know they've been a tremendous 00:28:08.759 --> 00:28:11.680 help to you what advice are they giving you during 00:28:11.680 --> 00:28:15.119 this time of your life. Surprisingly not a lot 00:28:15.119 --> 00:28:18.400 i gotta give it to me have been showing real 00:28:18.400 --> 00:28:21.779 restraint they have not been overbearing. Even 00:28:21.779 --> 00:28:23.819 though they're extremely present and extremely 00:28:23.819 --> 00:28:25.900 supportive like he sees them every day because 00:28:25.900 --> 00:28:28.279 i live five minutes from my parents he spends 00:28:28.279 --> 00:28:30.700 a night with them two nights a week they're extremely 00:28:30.700 --> 00:28:33.160 present which they would be this present no matter 00:28:33.160 --> 00:28:35.799 what but i feel that they feel an added duty 00:28:35.799 --> 00:28:39.779 to do so because i'm a single mom. So there is 00:28:39.779 --> 00:28:42.000 just as involved as his life and I am as I have. 00:28:42.019 --> 00:28:44.359 If I ask them for advice, they will give it to 00:28:44.359 --> 00:28:46.880 me. But to their credit, they're not constantly 00:28:46.880 --> 00:28:49.019 second guessing me or anything like that. And 00:28:49.019 --> 00:28:51.259 I'm very, very grateful for that. But some of 00:28:51.259 --> 00:28:54.200 the advice is really just comes from pulling 00:28:54.200 --> 00:28:56.599 from how they parented me, because while no parents 00:28:56.599 --> 00:28:58.720 are perfect, they did a lot of things I really 00:28:58.720 --> 00:29:01.559 admire and respect. And I find myself kind of 00:29:01.559 --> 00:29:03.859 leaning back on some of that is I make my decisions 00:29:03.859 --> 00:29:06.910 with Avery. That's beautiful. You know, it's 00:29:06.910 --> 00:29:09.569 great that you have that support system around 00:29:09.569 --> 00:29:12.890 you. But have you ever thought about in the climate 00:29:12.890 --> 00:29:15.490 that we live in, raising him outside of the country? 00:29:16.150 --> 00:29:19.990 Yes, I do think about it for a few reasons, because 00:29:19.990 --> 00:29:22.210 I have lived out of the country, so it doesn't 00:29:22.210 --> 00:29:25.109 seem like some farfetched idea. I had a great 00:29:25.109 --> 00:29:28.470 experience living in Doha, and I realized that 00:29:28.470 --> 00:29:30.390 comes from privilege, from the fact that I had 00:29:30.390 --> 00:29:34.150 a very well, good paying job. I completely understand. 00:29:34.329 --> 00:29:37.109 my perspective is a privileged position. But 00:29:37.109 --> 00:29:39.349 I did have a good experience where I was working 00:29:39.349 --> 00:29:41.309 and where I was living. And my friends, when 00:29:41.309 --> 00:29:44.170 I was there, many of them had children, had great 00:29:44.170 --> 00:29:47.009 lives. The kids were in good schools. They had 00:29:47.009 --> 00:29:48.869 flexible schedules where they could spend time 00:29:48.869 --> 00:29:52.109 with them. So, yeah, sometimes I wish that I 00:29:52.109 --> 00:29:54.920 could just go back to that little bubble. Where 00:29:54.920 --> 00:29:57.380 i you know would have to second guess going to 00:29:57.380 --> 00:29:59.700 a mall with every because you know somebody might 00:29:59.700 --> 00:30:02.660 walk in with a gun you know i do think about 00:30:02.660 --> 00:30:05.319 those things the main reason that i don't is 00:30:05.319 --> 00:30:08.079 because what i just talked about every village 00:30:08.079 --> 00:30:11.240 is here. If i could get you know true story if 00:30:11.240 --> 00:30:19.160 i could get my parents to. Maybe. Just pack up 00:30:19.160 --> 00:30:22.599 the whole family. Go, everybody. I should just 00:30:22.599 --> 00:30:24.680 have a family meeting and be like, OK, who all 00:30:24.680 --> 00:30:28.279 wants to go? Let's go. So yes, I absolutely do 00:30:28.279 --> 00:30:31.039 think about it, Monica. I do. But it's this, 00:30:31.099 --> 00:30:33.460 and I'm not saying, who knows? I have no idea. 00:30:33.660 --> 00:30:35.400 It could still end up happening at another time 00:30:35.400 --> 00:30:38.019 in his life. I don't know. But I do feel like 00:30:38.019 --> 00:30:42.019 right now it's more important for me to be here 00:30:42.019 --> 00:30:44.500 with the support that he and I have with our 00:30:44.500 --> 00:30:46.519 family. I think that matters the most right now. 00:30:46.650 --> 00:30:50.569 Now, do you have any plans on maybe giving Avery 00:30:50.569 --> 00:30:53.829 a sister or brother? Oh, I don't like that. Absolutely 00:30:53.829 --> 00:30:58.690 not. It's like I know what that laugh is. I have 00:30:58.690 --> 00:31:03.039 an only child. I believe in only children. The 00:31:03.039 --> 00:31:08.640 only children coalition is over here. No, no, 00:31:08.799 --> 00:31:12.180 and no, and he better not ask when he gets older 00:31:12.180 --> 00:31:14.740 and understand. No, and I honestly, I don't think 00:31:14.740 --> 00:31:18.119 I ever asked if I did. I don't remember ever 00:31:18.119 --> 00:31:20.779 asking the closest I remember. I can't believe 00:31:20.779 --> 00:31:24.220 I remember this. I was maybe in second or third 00:31:24.220 --> 00:31:27.250 grade. Maybe I remember my mom. with our church 00:31:27.250 --> 00:31:30.150 had gone to volunteer at a children's home or 00:31:30.150 --> 00:31:31.690 something, but whatever the case, she had come 00:31:31.690 --> 00:31:34.210 across this baby that just she was smitten with. 00:31:34.490 --> 00:31:36.190 And I remember her coming home, talking about 00:31:36.190 --> 00:31:38.009 it with me and my dad, like she was almost in 00:31:38.009 --> 00:31:40.269 tears. Like she's like, I want, we should adopt 00:31:40.269 --> 00:31:41.950 him. I think I want that bubble. And I would 00:31:41.950 --> 00:31:47.039 remember thinking, what in the, what? So no, 00:31:47.039 --> 00:31:49.900 and I didn't say anything, but I remember not 00:31:49.900 --> 00:31:53.420 being terribly into the idea of potentially another 00:31:53.420 --> 00:31:56.059 kid coming into the house and the face pass and 00:31:56.059 --> 00:32:01.039 she got over it. So you were like, no, single 00:32:01.039 --> 00:32:04.349 kid over here. That is so funny. But to that 00:32:04.349 --> 00:32:06.670 point though, I do one thing my parents did do 00:32:06.670 --> 00:32:09.210 for me with me being an only child. They were 00:32:09.210 --> 00:32:12.369 very intentional about me being around my cousins 00:32:12.369 --> 00:32:15.589 a lot. So I didn't, you know, feel isolated or 00:32:15.589 --> 00:32:17.109 anything like that. And I do try to do the same 00:32:17.109 --> 00:32:19.630 things with Avery to make sure it's not just 00:32:19.630 --> 00:32:22.029 me and him in this little cocoon just because 00:32:22.029 --> 00:32:24.230 I am an only child and I'm comfortable being 00:32:24.230 --> 00:32:27.170 alone. I'm an introvert. I really try to have 00:32:27.170 --> 00:32:29.769 his world be broader than that. What ways do 00:32:29.769 --> 00:32:32.430 you do that? Girl, I went on a play date the 00:32:32.430 --> 00:32:34.859 other day. But actually, that came out the wrong 00:32:34.859 --> 00:32:36.880 way because this was actually somebody that I 00:32:36.880 --> 00:32:40.420 genuinely like. I like her. But I got to be honest, 00:32:40.500 --> 00:32:43.519 if there's some kid in his class that I find 00:32:43.519 --> 00:32:45.539 that he's starting to develop a friendship with, 00:32:46.200 --> 00:32:47.819 my concern is not going to be whether or not 00:32:47.819 --> 00:32:49.880 I get along with the mom. I'm going to be like, 00:32:49.940 --> 00:32:52.319 can we meet up at the park or something? I have 00:32:52.319 --> 00:32:55.980 him in swimming. I have him in soccer. I'm starting 00:32:55.980 --> 00:32:58.640 to finally get him into church where he has children's 00:32:58.640 --> 00:33:01.730 church. So I just want him. And at school, I 00:33:01.730 --> 00:33:04.089 also let him do aftercare at school because that's 00:33:04.089 --> 00:33:05.829 also just more time for him to play. Does it 00:33:05.829 --> 00:33:08.150 give me more time? Yeah, but honestly, I could 00:33:08.150 --> 00:33:10.170 pick him up at three. My schedule allows it, 00:33:10.170 --> 00:33:12.450 but I intentionally try to let him have more 00:33:12.450 --> 00:33:16.470 time there to play. That's powerful. So you already 00:33:16.470 --> 00:33:18.710 have defined how you're going to be the type 00:33:18.710 --> 00:33:19.990 of mother you're going to be and make sure that 00:33:19.990 --> 00:33:22.910 he has what he needs. That's beautiful. Got to. 00:33:24.080 --> 00:33:27.900 You have shared this story across the airwaves 00:33:27.900 --> 00:33:30.960 from Tamron Hall to CNN to Essence Magazine. 00:33:31.500 --> 00:33:34.640 Why was it so important for you to share this 00:33:34.640 --> 00:33:36.779 story? Because you're used to being on the other 00:33:36.779 --> 00:33:40.480 side, not the story, but telling the story, becoming 00:33:40.480 --> 00:33:42.779 the story. How was that and why was this important? 00:33:43.559 --> 00:33:46.500 Because my friend Kelly would not let me. That 00:33:46.500 --> 00:33:48.500 is the true. People ask me this question often. 00:33:48.660 --> 00:33:51.180 And I mentioned Kelly so much, but it's true. 00:33:51.599 --> 00:33:53.759 So Kelly Carter, she's a very, very good friend 00:33:53.759 --> 00:33:55.880 of mine. She's a journalist. She's on Good Morning 00:33:55.880 --> 00:33:58.359 America now, but we've been friends for a long 00:33:58.359 --> 00:34:02.680 time. And she was the one that said, I mean, 00:34:02.759 --> 00:34:04.400 you do know you need to talk about this. Like, 00:34:04.640 --> 00:34:06.380 like what you've been through is a story. And 00:34:06.380 --> 00:34:10.360 I was like, what? And she's like, yeah. And basically, 00:34:10.539 --> 00:34:12.280 you know, if there were the outside looking in, 00:34:12.280 --> 00:34:14.219 I would say that if there were her, I would say 00:34:14.219 --> 00:34:15.880 the same thing like you need to go talk about 00:34:15.880 --> 00:34:18.820 this. So she was the one that convinced me that 00:34:18.820 --> 00:34:21.219 people would want to know about my journey. So 00:34:21.219 --> 00:34:23.579 she was the first one that connected me with 00:34:23.579 --> 00:34:25.780 a friend of hers who worked at Essence. And then 00:34:25.780 --> 00:34:27.860 once I started talking about it on Essence, it 00:34:27.860 --> 00:34:29.599 just kind of took off from there. Every time 00:34:29.599 --> 00:34:31.559 I talk about it, every time I post about it, 00:34:31.739 --> 00:34:33.880 I have another friend named Kelly, don't get 00:34:33.880 --> 00:34:37.000 them confused, who made a really fantastic reel. 00:34:37.230 --> 00:34:40.289 That summarized my story with Avery in like a 00:34:40.289 --> 00:34:42.550 minute and a half a thing got half a million 00:34:42.550 --> 00:34:45.590 views Women messaged me all the time. So I got 00:34:45.590 --> 00:34:48.269 to say it was Kelly who said people are going 00:34:48.269 --> 00:34:50.429 to benefit from hearing your story you need to 00:34:50.429 --> 00:34:53.389 talk about this and Now it's second nature to 00:34:53.389 --> 00:34:55.449 talk about it. It felt weird at first But now 00:34:55.449 --> 00:34:58.489 it doesn't because I do realize how many women 00:34:58.489 --> 00:35:01.369 can relate to different aspects of my journey 00:35:01.369 --> 00:35:03.510 and had a lot of questions So I kind of feel 00:35:03.510 --> 00:35:05.750 like it's almost my responsibility to talk about 00:35:05.750 --> 00:35:08.630 it now Yeah, I think it's important because, 00:35:08.989 --> 00:35:10.750 you know, especially in this conversation about 00:35:10.750 --> 00:35:14.829 IVF, you know, we need to hear real people's 00:35:14.829 --> 00:35:16.809 stories instead of people telling us what it 00:35:16.809 --> 00:35:19.610 is. And so it's important for you to share all 00:35:19.610 --> 00:35:21.849 of this, all of the story, because it's just 00:35:21.849 --> 00:35:24.349 so remarkable. And I know that we have to go 00:35:24.349 --> 00:35:26.250 because you're on mommy duty and you got to pick 00:35:26.250 --> 00:35:29.230 up the baby, you got to pick up the prince or 00:35:29.230 --> 00:35:32.159 the president, if I call him. So what's on that 00:35:32.159 --> 00:35:34.599 horizon for you and your new family? I know that 00:35:34.599 --> 00:35:37.460 you're walking into a new career and you're building 00:35:37.460 --> 00:35:40.079 something new for yourself and your baby. Career 00:35:40.079 --> 00:35:42.699 transition is hard and that's just being honest. 00:35:43.019 --> 00:35:47.420 Yeah, so it's trying to find being able to have 00:35:47.420 --> 00:35:49.679 a platform to talk about things that are important 00:35:49.679 --> 00:35:52.679 to me that I want to do that is still so that 00:35:52.679 --> 00:35:55.400 allowed me allow me rather to provide a. good 00:35:55.400 --> 00:35:58.420 life for me and my child while also still having 00:35:58.420 --> 00:36:00.900 the flexibility to be around for him because 00:36:00.900 --> 00:36:03.539 I'm a single mom. And that's a lot to figure 00:36:03.539 --> 00:36:05.659 out, Monica, a lot. Some of it I have figured 00:36:05.659 --> 00:36:08.599 out, some of it I'm still figuring out, but I 00:36:08.599 --> 00:36:11.590 really admire you and I know you didn't. expect 00:36:11.590 --> 00:36:13.150 me to do this, but because one of the things 00:36:13.150 --> 00:36:16.489 I do want to do is talk in a podcast space about 00:36:16.489 --> 00:36:19.349 what my journey has been and try to connect women 00:36:19.349 --> 00:36:21.750 with professionals or medical professionals that 00:36:21.750 --> 00:36:24.030 can help answer some of their questions about 00:36:24.030 --> 00:36:26.710 the journey they're on. And I admire how you 00:36:26.710 --> 00:36:29.429 just jumped out there and started podcasting. 00:36:29.530 --> 00:36:31.769 I have the benefit of having professional training 00:36:31.769 --> 00:36:33.969 in this. Right. And I still find that podcasting 00:36:33.969 --> 00:36:36.449 can be a little much. and harder work than people 00:36:36.449 --> 00:36:38.849 realize and you just tackled it and get better 00:36:38.849 --> 00:36:40.849 and better and better at it all the time so times 00:36:40.849 --> 00:36:43.130 and I feel a little frustrated that things aren't 00:36:43.130 --> 00:36:45.429 coming for me as quickly as I want them to I 00:36:45.429 --> 00:36:47.449 think about how hard you've worked at this and 00:36:47.449 --> 00:36:48.829 I'm like well you know what you really ain't 00:36:48.829 --> 00:36:50.989 worked that hard yet you need to keep you need 00:36:50.989 --> 00:36:54.239 to keep at it. So that's what I'm doing. I'm 00:36:54.239 --> 00:36:56.139 getting myself out there doing professional hosting 00:36:56.139 --> 00:36:58.480 and moderating, which is something I really love 00:36:58.480 --> 00:37:01.380 because that still allows me to maybe show up 00:37:01.380 --> 00:37:03.679 at an event that deals with global affairs, because 00:37:03.679 --> 00:37:06.320 that's still part of my passion too. So I'm trying 00:37:06.320 --> 00:37:08.199 to have the best of all worlds. I'm trying to 00:37:08.199 --> 00:37:11.119 talk about the mommy thing, help moderate an 00:37:11.119 --> 00:37:13.960 event about global affairs, and still be able 00:37:13.960 --> 00:37:16.699 to pick up Avery at the end of the day. And it's 00:37:16.699 --> 00:37:18.679 coming together slower than I want, but it is 00:37:18.679 --> 00:37:21.050 definitely coming together. Oh, you will make 00:37:21.050 --> 00:37:23.469 it happen. The one thing I know about you is, 00:37:23.570 --> 00:37:27.090 opposed to me, you make good decisions. Monica, 00:37:27.409 --> 00:37:30.389 we would do a separate podcast on the poor decisions 00:37:30.389 --> 00:37:32.849 we have both made. That's a different conversation, 00:37:32.849 --> 00:37:36.110 and I'll have it at another time. Oh, the laugh, 00:37:36.150 --> 00:37:38.550 the laugh, the laugh. Ooh, the tears, the tears, 00:37:38.630 --> 00:37:42.630 the tears. Oh, goodness gracious. Yes, ma 'am. 00:37:42.730 --> 00:37:44.730 Well, before we get off of here so you can go 00:37:44.730 --> 00:37:47.329 pick up the president, how can people connect 00:37:47.329 --> 00:37:49.050 with you and continue to follow your journey? 00:37:49.340 --> 00:37:53.300 So I do have a website, RochelleCarrie .com. 00:37:53.800 --> 00:37:56.519 So I am on all the socials. I'm on LinkedIn, 00:37:57.079 --> 00:37:59.559 Instagram, threads, and then my website. And 00:37:59.559 --> 00:38:01.960 my website has more about me, has my bio, has 00:38:01.960 --> 00:38:03.940 a place you can book me if you want me to do 00:38:03.940 --> 00:38:06.480 hosting, moderating, all that stuff. So probably 00:38:06.480 --> 00:38:08.900 my website is probably the best place to start. 00:38:10.139 --> 00:38:15.360 RochelleCarrie .com. Well, thank you so much. 00:38:15.480 --> 00:38:18.219 Thank you for saying yes. I've had fun. Thank 00:38:18.219 --> 00:38:20.480 you. We've got other stuff to talk about offline. 00:38:21.300 --> 00:38:23.320 Yes, ma 'am. Thank you. Because we're going to 00:38:23.320 --> 00:38:27.739 get you a podcast. Okay. All right. From your 00:38:27.739 --> 00:38:30.000 lips to God's ears, sister. We're going to make 00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:33.239 this happen. Thank you so much. And thank you 00:38:33.239 --> 00:38:35.480 everybody listening to the Black Women Amplified 00:38:35.480 --> 00:38:38.539 podcast. Make sure you check out blackwomenamplified 00:38:38.539 --> 00:38:42.230 .com. for more information and things going on 00:38:42.230 --> 00:38:45.090 outside of the podcast. This is Monica wisdom 00:38:45.090 --> 00:38:48.610 and I'm out. Thank you for listening to Black 00:38:48.610 --> 00:38:51.210 Women Amplified. We hope you enjoyed the show. 00:38:51.449 --> 00:38:54.170 Be sure to subscribe and log on to black women 00:38:54.170 --> 00:38:57.570 amplified dot com for more information. Keep 00:38:57.570 --> 00:38:58.030 shining.