Hello, Black Women Amplified family. This is
your girl, Monica Wisdom, and I am excited that
you're here with us today. We have a very special
guest in the building. But before we get into
a conversation with her, you know the routine,
push subscribe, tell a friend, and keep this
movement going. Now I'm not going to chat too
much because this is a juicy conversation. And
I would just want to say it's for grown women.
This is an adult conversation, and those of you
who are not ready for that, you have been warned.
But I promise you, you will want to stay until
the end. I have with us a journalistic icon,
a producer, a person who has worked all across
this nation sharing people's stories. And I am
excited that she is with us today to talk about
her new mission in life, her company, and the
pursuit of pleasure. Ms. Annette, how are you
today? Please welcome to the Black Women Amplified
podcast. Thank you so much, Monica. It is such
a pleasure to be here with you. I'm so grateful
that you extended the invitation to be with you
and your audience. Thank you for saying yes.
We were just chatting offline. She's normally
the producer. So we're going to gently ease her
into being an interviewee. Now, Annette, you
have this amazing background. It's so impressive
and it's powerful to be a Black woman storyteller.
You are a producer and a journalist with an extensive
background. What sparked your curiosity or desire
to tell the stories of other people? Well, it
goes back to when I was young. You know, my father
and I, we bonded over the evening news with Walter
Cronkite. People who were, who grew up in the
60s and 70s knew about Walter Cronkite. And that
was a way of bonding with dad to watch the evening
news. And so I was always interested in journalism.
I was one of those kids that ran home to not
watch cartoons but watch the news. When CBS Sunday
Morning started, I think it was in 1977, 78,
something like that, I was in high school and
that was my favorite show, CBS Sunday Morning,
like a news show. And I've always loved news
because I always loved hearing about stories,
about other people. on how other people lived,
what was going on. And I just needed to keep
up with current events. And so I've always had
that passion for that. Now, are there other storytellers
in your family? Well, no, I'm pretty much the
only one. My parents were from the Caribbean.
And my father worked for Pan American Airways.
And my mother worked for Chemical Bank, which
is now morphed and morphed and morphed into now
it's JP Morgan Chase. But no, I was the only
person, one, my first person in my family to
get a college degree. And my college degree was
actually in psychology. But what was interesting
was, is that I went into business, but gnawing
at me to be in television and to do documentaries
was always there. So I worked in corporate America
for 12 years, and then I have to go and pursue
my passion. So as I was going up the ladder in
corporate America, I left and I went back to
school. I got accepted to Columbia University
Graduate School of Journalism. I was a single
mother at a five year old at the time and I got
accepted. I couldn't believe it, but I got accepted
and then I started my journalism career. That's
amazing. What was it in you that said, I'm despite,
because here's the thing, I find that we tend
to live the lives that other people think that
we should live. What in you said, I have to do
this and I'm going to pursue it? Well, the knowing
was always there. And I also had a cousin. of
mine who he actually was in the film business.
But the way he got there was very interesting
because he lived in Brooklyn and at the time
in the 70s, Dino De Laurentiis, I think it was
Dino De Laurentiis, was making a film in Bed
-Stuy called The Education of Sonny Carson. and
my cousin who was about 15 or 16 at the time,
he was recently brought here to this country
from the Dominican Republic. That's where my
father's, so his mother brought him up from the
Dominican Republic and he didn't really speak
much English, but he got to be a PA on the education
of Sonny Carson and worked in the field team.
And then they liked him so much that they brought
him into work as an intern at the Paramount office
building at Columbus Circle at the time and worked
for Dino. And then Dino went to California and
then brought Hector, him. So without a real education,
and then learning the language, my cousin ends
up in Hollywood at around 19 years old, working
for one of the best producers in the business
at the time, Dino De Laurentiis, and he became
his projectionists. So when I was growing up,
it's like I saw this trajectory of my cousin.
And although ever wanted to go to Hollywood per
se, the idea of working and seeing the stories
in the movies interested me to pursue journalism.
But my parents were Caribbean, and they were
like, you should be a doctor. You should go to
school and be a doctor. And so when I went to
college, I started in chemistry and I took math
and I was just going to be in biology and be
on that science track to be a doctor and I hated
it. So then I decided that I was always really
good with with people. And so I said, well, if
I'm going to be a doctor, maybe I can be like
a psychologist. So I left the medical track and
went into the psychology track. And I graduated
from Howard with a bachelor of science in psychology.
But even with that psychology, I'd never pursued
like a higher higher education. I got recruited
by a company in New York. And then I started
working in a public utility because it was like,
Oh my God, you're going to pay me this amount.
And, and I got recruited right out of school
and my grades weren't all that, but I have a
job. Um, and so that made my parents happy because
I'm graduating out of school. I'm going right
into a job. It's for the public utility and you'll
have a job for life. And so I satisfied my parents.
wills and wishes for me. I was set. I was done.
So that was like, I couldn't, I worked there
for 12 years and some of it was really good,
but that wasn't my passion, Monica. That wasn't
my passion. And so it did get to a point where
it's like, you know, I had to make that move
and I did. I never looked back. So what was your
first entry into journalism? So my first position
was a news associate at NBC News. It's a program
for people of color coming out of college, graduate
school, because I don't think they take undergrads,
coming from graduate school. And you do a year.
and you get to work in three or four different
news programs at NBC. And so when I came in,
my first division was I worked in news productions,
which was like the documentary division of NBC.
Then four months later, I got transferred to
the Today Show. So I worked a couple months at
the Today Jo. And within that time, if a department
wants to hire you full -time, they can do that.
So by the time I was with the Today Jo, the first
department that I worked at wanted to hire me
full -time. So I got hired out of the program
before I finished. And that again was a god end
because now I'm full time. Now I've got full
benefits. Now I can then start my career at NBC.
I had a contract. And so I started in the news
productions division, which was their documentary
division, a division of Dateline, NBC. Cool.
That's amazing and you I mean you went straight
into hard like traditional news That's that's
and and you were at a time where news was news
Yeah, yeah, I mean let me just you know be real
real straight up with you when I graduated from
Yeah, I grew I was the class of 2000 And 9 -11
was 2001. So I had been out of school for a year
working in the news division, working in this
documentary unit and then 9 -11 happened. And
I have to say like that day I saw, oh, you are
now a journalist because That day I came to work,
I had on like a suit, I had on heels that day.
And I remember when I got into my office, it
was on all the televisions, because I was on
the train when it happened. I got to the office
and we all had it on. It was like we all had
it on. And I was like... I don't know what to
do. Because at that time, I was an assistant
producer. We did documentaries. And so our senior
executive producer got us all together. And then
I realized, oh my god, I'm wearing heels. So
I went out really fast around the corner. I went
into a store. I bought some sneakers. And I went
right back to work and was at work. for hours,
because you couldn't get on the subway. And then
I had to realize like, oh my God, my son, he's
in school. So at the time, my dad, he was my
ex -husband at the time, we really weren't speaking,
but I had to make sure that my son was picked
up from school. And of course he picked him up.
And I remember not getting home until maybe three
o 'clock in the morning. and then having to be
right back at work, right back at work, right
back at work, you know, for weeks on end. And
I'm grateful that I had a support system of my
aunt, my mother, my dad. They were all there
to help me through that situation because everybody
was in work at the time. I mean, it was horrible.
And being in the news, was the most stressful
time in my life during that time, because not
only was it physically hard, because you had
to be at work, working on stories nonstop. You
had people who were affected in the city, of
course, by 9 -11. And then you're looking at
this footage that you're still in disbelief at
what you're seeing. And then the smells in the
city, you couldn't get away from the smells of
the city. So that really was an eye -opening
experience of being a journalist in New York
covering 9 -11. That really was like, okay, you're
in. That's it. It's... Yeah, you could no longer
be working on it. You had to be in it because
not only did you have to manage your own emotions
of being a person in this country that just got
attacked, you had to tell the stories. And then
you had to check the stories. And nobody knew
what was going on. I remember it vividly. And
I went to New York actually for something Ezease
was doing. And I remember walking around and
I can still smell it. And I was like, Oh my God,
I said the smell and you can, and I could still
see the soot on the side of the buildings that
weren't hit. And I was like, and it just, I just
stood in the middle. I don't know what street
I was on, but I just stood in the street and
you know, New York is, I'm a Midwestern or so
we're just gonna stay in there. And I just remember.
Being like, I could not imagine, I can't even
fathom what it was like that day, or even that
week, because I can still smell it. And so if
I can still smell it and it's been through snow
and brain and all the things, I can't imagine
living here and having that memory every time
you breathe. And so, wow, amazing. Yeah, I went
down to, you know, ground zero, you know, a few
times just to look because I my job was to go
through footage. You know, I was an assistant
producer at that time. So assistant producers,
you, you know, you scroll, we tape at the time.
So we scroll through tape after tape after tape
after tape, you know, logging it what you know,
what do you see on that tape? So when a story,
when you need to give that tape to an editor
and a producer and writer to create the story,
they know what shots and where they show up on
that tape. So that was my job to log a lot of
that material that was coming in. You saw much
of what we would never see. You would never see.
That, and that's like for every story that, you
know, working in the news business, like, you
know, people give journalists a hard way to go
in the media, a hard way to go, but they shouldn't
really because like we end up, we can't show
you everything. You know, there are stories that
I, it was one story I told my producer, my executive
producer that I wasn't going to work on. that
I refused to look at this. And that was when
the Al -Qaeda had beheaded that journalist, that
Wall Street journalist. And I said, I refuse.
I said, I can't watch that. I don't want to see
that. I've seen other things like the aftermath
of suicide bombings and school shootings and
the stuff that you will never see on air, because
you just can't. But those of us in the office,
we have to go through that footage to make sure
that you don't see that. Or if you're scrolling
through something, people will try to highlight,
not go past this point or else you will see.
So working in the news business, it was hard,
but was very rewarding because you are the person,
you are the people that gets to take the story
from what's happening on the streets and give
it to the world. And I was very happy to be a
journalist. It was a very fulfilling and a wonderful
career. And I'm so grateful that I was able to
do it for as many years that I was able to do
it. And you just were able to see I mean, it
had to broaden your perspective of the world,
as a woman in this world, as a Black person in
this world, to see all the details of the full
scope of a story. So when you went into doing
documentaries, how important was it to you to
get the full scope of a story out? Because I
love documentaries. I just finished watching
the one about John Baptiste. because I like hearing
people's oh girl beautiful I love hearing people's
the full scope of a person of humanity did you
ever want to go into another area of news like
entertainment or finance or was documentary work
your your space oh documentaries were my jam
I watch documentaries All my free time. I mean,
documentaries were my life. I love documentaries.
That's what I studied really at Columbia. Like
you could go into different, after you took the
basic curriculum, you can choose whether you
would do news magazine, you do nightly news,
or you could do documentaries. And I chose documentaries
because I was a documentary fiend. I never wanted
to go into anything else. Like even working on
the sexy today show, sexy. You know, I was, I
remember like staying like almost all night because
my job was to find out what Laura Bush second
term, what was going to be her inauguration dress,
right? That was my job for the today show and
I should I needed to be they needed to be the
first people to find what Laura Bush's dress
was going to be And I you know, so I stayed my
shift and then I had to stay later and then I
could get through to the people who would know
that information So I end up calling that I found
out who the dress designer was they were located
in this strip mall in Texas Tried to call them
phone was busy Remember there was no cell phones
at the time so i'm just calling calling calling
and then i was like oh you know what you need
to do you need to find every store in that strip
mall and you need to find somebody that can answer
the phone and run to the hurt that shop and tell
her that the today show is calling. So i find
somebody they worked and i don't know cleaners
in that strip mall or something and then. They
I said would you let her know and you I want
you to run there and tell her give her my number
and I'll be right here and then she calls me
back the designer calls me back finally it's
like 10 o 'clock at night I had or I had been
at work since 5 a .m. covering the show that
morning so 5 a .m. and now it's 10 p .m. I'm
still at work finally get this dress designer
to call me she called me back I said Are you
the design for laura bushes inaugural address
she said yes i am good to talk to you. And i
said we would love for you to come on the today
show to talk about her dress i know you can't
show the dress but maybe you can show us some
some some designs that she has in mind she's
like of course i would love to okay i said so
well said so we'll send a crew. to you and we're
going to do a satellite and we'll you know we'll
schedule you for the you know like 7 30 or whatever
after the hard news is like 7 30 or 7 45 she'd
be on she's like great but i just want to let
you know that um good morning america is going
i told them i would do them first so you guys
are going to be second so i was like uh okay
great so i hang up i call the senior producer
i said i finally got the dress designer on on
on on the line she said she'll do our show but
she's gonna do gma first did i get a cussing
out that night what do you mean i'm gonna do
gma first they gotta do the taste show if they
don't do the taste show first we don't want her
call her back and tell her it's fine i was like
oh my god i got home that evening at like midnight.
I crawled in. My son was sleeping. I was like,
I'm home. Luckily, I lived my aunt upstairs,
so he was with my aunt. And I was like, I am
not going to spend my career doing this. I'm
not. It sounds sexy. Today's show, celebrities,
and all of that. But you know what? That's not
my interest. And that's when I said yes to the
documentary unit. I mean, the violence that would
have come out of me in that moment. And to have
to suppress that level of violence that would
have come out of me in that moment, I applaud
you because I promise I'd have been in his front
door. Oh my God. I was like, what? I got her.
I got her on the line. She should come on after.
After GMA. That wasn't good enough. And you know,
that's, that's what makes the Today Show the
Today Show back then. It did. It just, you know.
That's how you get number one. Right. It was
Katie Couric, Matt Lauer, Al and Ann Curry. The
dream team. The dream team. So you have worked
in the documentary world and you have done something
that I'm super curious about. I'm curious about
all things Obama. So please tell us about Inside
the Obama White House with Brian Williams. Oh
yeah. Oh my gosh. What an experience that was.
That was really an amazing experience. So I was
approached by the the specials team at an NBC
inside the Obama White House was a full on NBC
specials production. And that means that every
like they chose producers in different units
to work on that team. I mean, I was on a team
of about 100 people. However, as a producer,
there were 12 of us as producers. And then the
rest of the team, of course, were like the associate
producers, the assistants, the crew. And so I
was asked as part of the unit, I was the only
one in my unit that was asked. They took people
from the news, they took people from Dateline,
they took people from the Today Show and assembled
a crew with Brian Williams plus Brian Williams
team to go into the White House. So I'm so excited
about this. And so we were, we had our briefing
meetings and we then ascended onto the White
House grounds. The day before, We had to get,
of course, you know, the Secret Service passes
and all of that. And then, you know, we all met
there in the White House briefing room as a team.
And we were given our assignments. And so as
a producer, my assignment was to cover Valerie
Jarrett's area and the White House counsel area,
Greg Craig. Every producer had a particular assignment.
So Brian Williams' producer covered the president.
Other producers covered other areas in the White
House. And then after we did the shooting, we
came back to New York and assembled a two -hour
show. that aired over two days in 36 hours. So
we were at the White House on a Friday where
we shot. We came back to New York on trains Friday
afternoon, evening. Saturday and Sunday, we spent
writing and editing. And the show aired, I think
that Monday and Tuesday. So that meant that we
were putting together a two hour show in a matter
of a couple of days, which is unheard of. It's
just, we were slamming it. And so every producer
had a particular act that they would write. And
that's how it was broken down. So the show could
get, Completed. And so my area to write was when
he went into Five Guys and like Brian Williams
and him get in the beast at the White House and
they drive to Five Guys and he gets out the car
and the crowd wild. They're like rock star. So
right. So when I tell people, you know, they
were like, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, inside the Obama
White House. I said, yeah, the one the the piece
that I wrote was him going into five guys and
they were like, I remember seeing that. So it
was an amazing, amazing experience to be in the
White House, to be in, you know, a black woman
on the team covering the first Black president
and his administration for a major network. I'm
literally getting chills as you're saying this
because I would have bust out crying at one point.
Yep, that's how it was. It was like I couldn't
believe that I get to be here at this particular
time in history. And another thing about being
a Black woman at that time covering the Obama
White House was before he was elected, there
was the primaries. And we didn't have a documentary
made about Obama at the time. At the time, people
I figured it was going to be a Hillary John McCain
scenario. So, and this Barack Obama was kind
of like, you know, he's coming out of kind of
nowhere. You know, he's a senator and it's great.
But people were, you know, they were on the Hillary
team. If you were a Democrat, and if you were
a Republican, you were on the John McCain team.
So, Barack Obama wins Iowa and the news, our
news division goes crazy because we now start
to realize this guy is in contention and we have
no background on him. There's no documentary,
there's no historical anything that the news
division had put together. Now, if you know news
divisions, they usually will have, like you wonder,
how do people, how do they get those like, you
know, when somebody passes away, how do they
get those documents about them out so fast? It's
already done. They only put on a new top and
a new bottom, but the rest is there. So we've,
you know, you have already something about Hillary.
You already have something about John McCain.
You already have stuff around people. who you
kind of feel is going to be in the news. We had
nothing on Obama. So I was asked to be part of
this team to put together the first documentary
about his life. And here's how it came in to
be wonderful to be a black woman, is that I went
to school with Santita Jackson, who I had heard
through the grapevine was Michelle Obama's maid
of honor. And Santita and I went to Howard together.
Now, I hadn't spoken to Santita in a while, since
college. And now we're in 2008. I call her up
and I say, hey, I heard that you and Michelle
Obama is made of honor. I'm doing a documentary
on Barack Obama and I would love you to be a
part of it. And she said, you know, Annette,
I've got to make some phone calls, but because
I know you from Howard, and I know you treat
this with the utmost of integrity and professionalism,
I'm gonna do it. So she gave me the first interview
that was ever done about Michelle and Barack
from an insider's perspective. And no one at
the time had known really, unless you were on
the inside. that they were so close, that her
and Michelle went to school together. I think
and, you know, her, Michelle's dad used to drive
them to school. They were best friends. And so
people in the news division didn't even know.
And so it became like, oh, Annette knows something.
She's got some intel. We're all good. So yeah,
yeah, yeah, we're all good. So it was that HBCU
connections and it is true. We treated that documentary
with the utmost professionalism, the utmost care.
It was very well done. We had to do it in a very
short amount of time, but I think they're selling
it in the NBC experience store today. And it's
so interesting because I can always tell when
I'm watching something if a black person did
it because the differences are there that other
people miss. And, you know, how we look at each
other, just an inflection in our mouth or how
we move our neck. Other people would miss that,
but it's important to our culture because we
have such a strong nonverbal communication. Right.
I can always tell them like, black girl didn't
do this one. Yes, our black man didn't do this
one. This is somebody else. That's beautiful.
That's amazing. And the fact that you all trusted
each other because you had that shared experience
of HBCU. That's beautiful. I love that. I love
it. Now, your career from journalism, are you
still doing documentaries? I am, but But not
for a network. I'm a consulting producer now
on a documentary on Minnie Evans. She is a Black
woman folk artist, as they say, from the South.
And her story is so powerful. She lived here
in Wilmington. She got messages to draw. or die
as she was a gatekeeper for a white family here
in Wilmington. And so she's now getting some
recognition from the arts community because of
her work is transcendent. And so I'm a consulting
producer on that documentary. But other than
that, I've really kind of stepped away from that,
from television and that life. And you have stepped
into a whole new world. You and I met in Detroit,
I think Detroit, I don't know if it was New York
or Detroit, but I do remember us being at a conference
together, Circles of Light. And that was such
an amazing experience. And you and I both, you
know, hang out in the non -traditional areas
of life, especially for Black folk. And at a
time when other people were not in it. A lot
of people are in it now. And I love that the
conversation is so mainstream now, but back in
the day, it was, to go to that conference and
see so many people that look like us there was
just, it was an all, it was an amazing experience.
When did that? What we were studying. When did
that journey of that type of studying begin for
you? As a young, I was young. I fell into spirituality
at a young age. I was brought up Methodist, but
my minister was one of those new agey. kind of
ministers. And so we were doing like those trust
falls and trust walks and having conversations
about beyond religion from the time I was in
junior high school. So by the time I got to high
school, I had become a leader in the youth movement
of my church conference. But the kinds of stuff
that we talked about involved God, of course.
But it went beyond that. And I remember we would
have speakers come in to talk about transcendental
meditation. I had a camp. We had a camp in upstate
New York. And so I led that camp. And I remember
bringing in like you know Mr. Transcendental
Meditation and there we are like 16 years old
and we're like doing Transcendental Meditation
in the barn and then I brought in like you know
an abortion advocate to talk about abortion and
you know what that meant and you know so I was
always in that work. And so by the time I got
to Circles of Light, it was like opening up more
realms of information that I was yearning for.
And I loved it. And I would take the information
that I learned in that group into work. Like
I would have my Course in Miracles book on my
desk. And I'm not hiding it. People would know
they're like. I would go into meetings with my
boss and I would have a folder and I would have
the course in there with me. Just like, all right,
I don't know what it's about to say, but I'm
going to need this with me. They wouldn't see
it, but I would have it with me. It was part
of my research. I studied and I incorporated
it into my life. When you I Know for many people
that are listening it's an either -or situation,
but you integrated into your life What? What
was it that you said? This is just who I am take
it or leave it and You just like you said you
took it to work. You took it in meetings. You
took who you were with you and you didn't leave
her at home and then take somebody else out of
the door. Where did you get that from? I don't
want to speak for you, but it's part of my makeup,
how I and why I was put here, I think, on the
planet to make those that it's not either or,
it's all. Because I am all, we are all. And I
knew the information was helpful in my life.
I brought it with me so I wouldn't lose it with
folk. That I would show up as much as I could
as a loving, embracing human being. in this experience
of life. I brought it for others, so I would
treat them with kindness and non -judgment and
all of that, because that's how I wanted the
world to work for me. So if I'm learning this
in these books, how can I be learning it and
not instituting it in my life? Because it was
one thing about sometimes with, people can become
very insular and only work it with the people
that we know and with the language. But I always
found that I've got to put it out there in the
ether. Because this is how I want humanity to
run. So if it doesn't start with me, who does
it start with? I'm the only one that has control
over how I am, who I am, and how I'm being. That's
it. I can't control you. I can't control anything.
But I can control me. And if I can show up at
a meeting, and I can be a complete channel and
hear you out without judgment and just have you
be who you are and I be who I am. It makes a
difference incrementally in the news business.
And people will tell you even now, like after
I've left, there's people who I have interacted
with and I have met and I become unforgettable.
I'd be like, oh yeah, remember that producer,
I don't know my name, but they know they would
remember the experience they had with me. And
that goes for when I showed up at Virginia Tech
in Blacksburg at a school shooting, right after
a school shooting. I was sent down there to do
a story and bring back footage for a documentary
we're doing and how I show up with victims and
their parents. It makes a difference. It does
make a difference because you see them, not the
idea of them. You see the people and that helps
them open up to you and it builds a trust factor.
But more of that, you have integrity with your
work. You're not being one way just to get the
story. You were just truly curious and open to
whatever they feel like sharing. And so that
makes your storytelling much stronger and more
impactful because it's the truth. It's the honest,
it's the honesty. Right. I'm not trying I'm not
trying to you're not trying to be a producer
you are telling a story I'm a person I'm a human
being and I'm a human being that has this works
whose work is to tell your your story how did
it affect you how did you what did you see what
did you know what did you notice how did you
know in that way There's some people who go down,
it's like, oh yeah, I got this, this. Make sure
you get this main person. Make sure you get this.
And they come back with all the right elements,
all the right ones. And they get promoted because
they always come back with the right ones. Most
of the time, I come back with the stories, the
stories that will resonate with people. That's
powerful. And so I may come back with three interviews.
Other people come back with nine. I spent a little
bit more time. Their parents wanted to be involved.
I had to wait a little bit because whatever,
they were on the phone with their grandparents.
So I come back with three interviews, but they're
good instead of nine or whatever. And now - I'm
no longer doing that. Like I'm done with that.
I can look myself in the mirror every day because
I went to work with the best of intentions and
my heart was in every story, every single one
of them. You left yourself wherever you were.
And that's why when people see you, they're like,
oh my God. And you touch deeper than just, you
didn't just tell a story, you told their story.
Exactly. Now you are working to help women transform
their stories with the power of pleasure. You
have not only done the work with yourself, And
you can talk a little bit about that, but you
have moved into your own company, your own business.
My own business. The Goddess Portal. Tell us
about the Goddess Portal. Oh, definitely. Thanks
for asking. So the Goddess Portal is a coaching,
a movement, and an events company that educates
professional women in the art of pleasure. and
it helps them to know themselves really deeply
at a deep deep level in order to manifest their
greatest and their deepest desires. And we help
women unlock and unleash their authentic selves
and so they can tap into their gifts and so they
can show up powerfully in their personal and
in their professional lives and in the world.
And people are like, how do you do that? What
are you talking about? What are you talking about
when you say that? Yeah. And it's like, it's
a complete 180 from what we think about how to
manifest our desires and to go after our Goals
or whatever through pleasure What? Go ahead No,
I was saying, you know, I have to say that it
came as a complete like Brain For me to learn
this and to experience it and put it into practice
like I've done my entire life and to see what
my life looked like before and what it looks
like now. So I come with that inner knowing because
I've done it. I continue to do it and how it's
the things that have come out and manifested
in my life and how quickly things manifest is
really, it's beyond me. And so I'm teaching it.
I'm teaching it because I want all women to learn
what it means to live a life through pleasure.
So when you talk about pleasure, the first thing
that comes to top of mind is sex and sexuality.
Is this something, when you speak of pleasure,
is it something just beyond the physical experience
and sexuality? Is it about a... 180 lifestyle
change or is it, and when you say through pleasure,
what do you mean by that? Yes. Yes. And thanks
for asking that really great question. Um, when,
yeah, when people think of, um, pleasure, they,
they think of sex and having sex with somebody
else and, you know, um, all the ways that they
can have it. And, and they, sometimes they think
like, you know, I'm like, I'm a like, I, I teach
technique and stuff like that. and that has nothing
to do with this. Pleasure for women is an area
about how do you live from turn on. And what
I mean by turn on is like when a woman is turned
on, she is in her flow. So you can get turned
on by touching yourself. You can get turned on
by self -pleasure. You can get turned on by a
man doing it, helping you, stroking you. You
can get turned on by just taking your finger
and rolling it down the side of your arm to your
elbow and feeling what that feeling feels like.
You can get turned on by watching an adult movie.
You can get turned on by sitting in a bath and
rubbing and touching yourself. I mean, turn on
is when a woman feels herself and her yoni produces
that fluid, which we say when she's wet, it's
that feeling inside when you feel her and you
tune into her. And some women have forgotten
what that even feels like. And I liken it to
like, remember when you were young and there
was a guy and you saw him say across campus and
you were like, Oh my God, it's so and so. Or
you saw a woman who you just thought she was
so beautiful. And you're like, Oh, I want to
go out with her. And something happened in your
yoni, in your vagina. And it started to come
alive and get on fire. And then like, when you
start kissing someone, before you even go into
anything else. It's that feeling of turn on that
is pleasure. That's what I'm talking about. And
then when you're turned on, you know when you're
turned off. So when you're turned on, if you
start making decisions based on whether you're
turned on or not, will then lead you to a life
of turn on. And if you make decisions just based
on, like you're turned off, but you're just like,
okay, so this checks the box, this checks the
box, this checks the box, okay, I think I'll
go there, I check the box, great. It doesn't
seem very pleasurable. But if checking those
boxes makes you turned on, I say, go for it.
So that is what I'm talking about, is making
your life so that the decisions that you make
in your life comes from pleasure and it can be
done. And I teach tools. They're real tools that
can help access that. I wanted to say this, if
I can, because this is my mantra is taken from
the Course in Miracles, because this is really
what the art of pleasure and moving from pleasure
is really about. And I hope if it's okay, I'd
love to read it to you. So the Goddess Portal
is the gateway to pleasure and desire. It's courses
and tools. do not aim at teaching the meaning
of pleasure and desire, for that is beyond what
can be taught. Each woman is free to chart her
own pathway to what truly brings her bliss. It
does aim, however, at removing the blocks to
the awareness of pleasure, which is her inheritance,
that she may manifest and experience her truest
and deepest desires. So that's what I do, is
to remove the blocks to the pleasure and the
desire that's already there. So when you're doing
your work, what are some of the blocks that you're
coming across, that people are saying that they're
dealing with or that's keeping them from fully
getting into the flow of the pleasure that you're
speaking of? That's a good question. Some of
it comes from Say a person goes through like
say a relationship breakup, right? They're broken
up with somebody and they go to their girlfriends
and You know Like you would and you just kind
of talking it out with them But that doesn't
seem to it helps a little bit but like you go
home and you're still Next to your bed on your
knees crying then they're like, Oh, okay. So
you seem to be, you know, this is distressing
you too much. Why don't you, you might want to
go see somebody like a therapist, right? So you
go to therapists and, and you, you know, talk
it out and they give you ways to handle and stuff
like that. And that's great, but you're still
talking about it. What we do is we give you actual
tools that doesn't give you advice, but allows
you to move through your emotions in a way that
takes them through your body and into the universe.
So what we found and what I found, I'll talk
for myself in my life, I was dealing in a relationship
for a number of years. And this man told me that
I was too old. No harsher words have ever been
said to a woman that she's too old. I had that
tick in my head for most of my late 40s and early
50s, because I was 48 at the time. And it hurt
me so deeply, more than I could have even realized.
it prevented me from dating anymore, even though
people were like, oh, you know, oh, you're going
out here. And I would be like, yeah, I'm fine,
I'm fine, I'm fine. But that tick was in my head.
I'm too old, I'm too old. And it just stuck there
until I went to the School of Womenly Arts and
I learned this technique called spring cleaning.
And spring cleaning, allowed to get out that
tick to where I can now feel myself, be more
accepting of myself, tap into my turn -on so
that I could move past that trauma into looking
at my life in a different way. And that happened
in like a couple of months. So I've had this
tick for years and within a couple of months
of actively doing this particular tool and some
others, which I'll explain, I could move past
that person saying that to me and me taking it
on like it was the truth. And I didn't need any
advice from anybody. I didn't need pills, drugs,
alcohol. What I needed to do was hear myself.
And as I heard myself, I was received in a judge
-free, confidential environment by another sister.
I was able to heal that. within me so I can move
on to another relationship. If I had stayed without
this work, I would have still been in that mindset.
You're too old, Annette. Just go over there and
sit down. You're an old black woman. Who's gonna
want you? And I didn't want that for myself.
And so anyone who's listening to that, if anything
has ever happened like that to you, you know
how horrible it feels to have that over and over
and over and over and over in your head and can't
get it out. So yeah, that's one of the tools.
It's like, it becomes this movie that plays in
your head and trauma colors everything that you
do, because you see the trauma before you see
the opportunity. The opportunity is there, but
you look at it through the lens of your trauma.
If you don't clear that, you won't see the opportunity,
whatever the opportunity is. That's what people
need to understand about trauma, is it colors
every decision you make in your life, from the
color of lipstick that you wear, the clothes
that you wear, to the friends that you have to
the job that you take. It is such a powerful
monster. And it speaks for you. And so, and I'm
just clarifying this for the audience. So what
you're saying is, is that you go in with your
work and you deal with the monster so that people
can feel free. Exactly. And the ultimate goal
of it is freedom. And for black women, we have
such compounded trauma because it's not only
our personal experiences, it's experiences of
living in the society, and it's generational.
So we have it coming from all areas. And once
you have the trauma, then you're triggered. And
so what Annette is saying is that this is a method
beyond what you hear about that can help you
deal with those monsters that color your life.
so that you can be free. And so tell us about
other methodologies that you use within your
work that help people get free. Oh, sure. Another
big one is called the swamp. And a swamp for
me was similar, you know, that same tick, you
know. And also, it's for me was generational.
So when a person said they're in a swamp, it's
something that like, they're having a hard time
dealing with something. They're having a really
difficult time, say with rage, like, You know
somebody at work is always bullying them and
they don't know how to Get back at that person
or they don't know what to do with themselves
They could have a hard time with their Significant
other but they don't want to they don't want
to lash out at them or they do lash out at them
all the time It's very aware they're having a
really difficult time that brings up rage and
anger a person that might have a difficult time
with grief that they can't seem to let go or
sadness or worry. And so we have this tool called
swamping. And a woman will identify what her
swamp is. What is it that's causing you such
grief or rage? She'll write it down. And then
we go through movements with music to move that
energy out of her body. So we'll swamp with a
rage song. We'll get pillows or, you know, objects
and bang them on the floor. We'll scream. We'll
let loose in that rage, we'll kick, we'll punch,
we'll press against the walls or the floor and
move that energy. Then another song, and it's
more of a grief or a sad song. And we let the
woman experience that emotion in that time. we
would want to stay in those emotions a lot of
the times, or we won't want to go deep into those
emotions, because we think if we go deep into
our rage, we will never come out of it. But the
transformational alchemical thing to do after
we experience those emotions is turn on. it is
turn on that will release you from those emotions.
And so after we've played a rage song, a sad
or grief song, we'll put on some sexy music and
let a woman turn herself on by moving in a sensual
way, touching herself, enjoying herself, playing
with herself to that song. And I'm telling you,
there's nothing out there like this. It is amazing
to see someone go into the swamp having such
an emotional roller coaster with the same issue.
And then after she's turned on, it's like another
person. But the hardest thing to do is go from
those dark and deep emotions to the turn on because
it's not natural. But it is natural. It's natural
for a woman. It is natural for us. That is the
issue sometimes when we get, especially when
we start getting older and it's like, oh, we
don't have a partner or nobody wants me, blah,
blah, blah. And we just start shutting down.
And when we start shutting down, guess what?
Our juices dry up. And when our juices start
to dry up, we start to get stiff. And then we
start to just being a little bit less flexible
and we start saying no more often. And so we
start shutting down our lives. But it is the
turn on, it is the flow of the woman that is
going to keep us viable and fun and sexy and
flexible. So we can go after our desires, no
matter how old we are, no matter what we've been
through. you introduce people to themselves.
And areas that they may have forgotten or never
tapped into because of the shame. Because, oh
no, I can't touch my vagina. I can't self -pleasure.
Or if I do, I feel so much shame around it. I'm
touching mine right now. See how much fun it
is? It's so much fun. You know, it's a beautiful
thing because God gave us a whole body. And society
said you can only focus on a couple of parts
of it. And because of that idea, we become, we
begin to oppress ourselves with that feeling
of shame that you're talking about. So to see
women meet themselves, many for the very first
time, it's a beautiful process. And it's a, what
a calling on your life. You know, what a calling
on your life to not only do the work for yourself,
but to just say, I want everybody to have this
work. That's, that's beautiful. So you're talking
about, just one thing before you get into that
talk to us about, or you can say what you're
going to say, but I really want you to talk about
the power of the divine feminine because we get
stuck in terms and the understanding of what
femininity is and what the divine feminine is
and what feminism is. And I really like for people
who are in this work to help us understand the
distinctions because I feel one is from society
and one is about us meeting ourselves. So continue
on and if you can get into it. Yeah, thank you.
You know, it's we're like on the same the path
of wavelength because I was going to talk about
that, you know. I was gonna talk about the femininity,
I mean, not femininity, spirituality and sexuality.
Spirituality and sensuality. We've learned separate
those two. We've been taught like, you know,
it's like the Mary and the Mary. You know, there
was the Mary who was the prostitute, Mary who
was the mother. And either you're the mother
or you're the whore. We're both. We're at all.
And that's where the divine feminine comes in,
is that we don't have to push to get our needs
met. We just need to be whole and authentic and
turned on. We need to find our power. within
every single cell of our body. We've been co
-opted saying that our vagina is only for a man's
pleasure or objectifying our vagina and our breasts.
for his enjoyment. Or we dress, you know, to
impress, you know, our, or try to woo, you know,
our other, other women. We get into that ridiculous
competition game around who's better looking
and who's thinner enough and who's blah, blah,
blah. As women, we are beautiful in all our iterations
on the planet. And that's what the Divine Feminine
is all about, is finding our power from within
and using what we've been given our turn on to
enhance our lives. We've turned, we used to turn
over our turn on to only those times when, you
know, uh, with somebody or, you know, maybe,
you know, we were trying to like impress and
go out to an event and, you know, we could try
to be sexy, but what if we were just sexy and
sensual all the friggin time for ourselves? Right.
All the time, you know, like you show up on a
call and you're like, Hey, how y 'all doing?
Okay, we're going to start this meeting now.
Okay. Why don't we play first, you know, stuff
that would actually bring women like joy and
pleasure. What if we did that? Um, so that's
what I'm introducing. is the stuff that brings
us pleasure, you know, from our, first we have
to know pleasure. That's another thing. You ask
women like, what are the, what pleases them or
what their desires are? Many can't even tell
you. So first what we do is we go in with a woman
and we find where her pleasure centers lie. What
brings her pleasure for real? Because if you
don't know what pleases you, how can you ask
for that or encourage or manifest that if you
don't even know? So that's number one. And then
we then allow her to then just find herself with
these tools, removing the blocks. getting out
the grief. Not getting it out, but like anytime
grief does come with you, guess what? You have
a tool that you can use that would help move
the emotions through. If you're stuck on something,
somebody pissed you off today, you can spring
clean about it. You're not asking for advice.
You're not asking for somebody to just sit down
and like fix it for you. You have the answers
within yourself. So with the spring clean, you
can do that. Because in a spring clean, which
I didn't share, it's a completely confidential
space. The person who is receiving the information,
they say nothing except for thank you. And at
the end of it, it's gone. Like you never bring
it up again. You never talk about the subject
with the woman. It's gone. So, you know, these
tools, and there's so many more, they work. How
did you find that these tools, because you said
you did the work with Mama Gina, what bloomed
in you when you got into this work? Well, the
first thing was when I first saw her and experienced
this work, I was like, oh my God, where has this
been? And I was so gone. Like somebody said,
Annette, how are you doing? Oh, I'm fine. I'm
fine. Everything is good. I'm smiling. Hey, everything's
good. And on the outside, seriously, you would
think that everything was really cool. But on
the inside, I was really empty. So when i heard
an experience this i was like all in like. All
in i had no more freaks to give because i had
reached my pinnacle like okay i worked at nbc
i had done. I had done the career of my dreams.
I won an Emmy. I had a beautiful son. He is going
to college. You would think that all those things
would have just been enough. And I knew that
there was more. And when I heard Mama Gina talk
and I heard the testimonials of the women. And
I saw the women, I saw them, I saw the difference
in their eyes. I saw the difference in the way
they walked. I saw the difference in the way
that they spoke. It was authentic. It was the
light was coming from within didn't matter what
they had on the light. was coming from within.
And I said, I want that. Whatever she has, I
want that. I remember when I went to Miami, because
Regina, Mama Janie used to have a big in -person
events. She came in the Miami Convention Center
riding a horse with six men, shirtless, honky
men next to her. She had on a mini skirt with
feathers and no panties. And I was like, who
is she? I love her already. Because when a woman
is turned on, you can tell. She doesn't care
about what you think about her. She knows who
she is. She loves herself, really. And you can't
take that away from her. And she's powerful.
And that's what I got. My life is really different,
Monica. I'm living... in a beautiful place in
North Carolina. I'm looking out over a river
which is right outside my living room window.
My partner who courted me at 55 years old told
me, said, Annette, if you move with me here,
you don't have to work. And for someone who was
a single mother, Caribbean, worked two, three
jobs, was a journalist, in the news business,
working my ass off. Someone for me to vibrate
in a way that I have attracted a man. who loves
and adores me, says to me, I'm going to take
you out of New York, and you don't have to. That
was five years ago, and I've been having the
time of my life. A round of applause for him.
Yes, Lord. That is so beautiful. I mean, that's
freedom. That is freedom because you feel safe.
And for black women, it is so hard for us to
feel safe. So for someone to provide a space
for you to be yourself says a lot about him as
a person, just as a human being. But it also
says something about, it's a testament to the
work that you have been doing. Because it's not
something that you were looking for. You just
knew you wanted, you just knew you knew that
you deserved better, but you didn't know what
better was gonna look like. So you just did the
work. And this is what you manifested. You did
the work and this is what manifested. So you're
a testament of the work that you do. Exactly.
I didn't know. One of the things that we say
in this work is, when a woman says her desire,
we say, and so shall it be, or something even
better, way beyond your wildest dreams, to affirm
what she has said. And it's true. This is my
so shall it be. it's also and something even
better because this was way beyond my wildest
dreams. I did the work. I took on this work like
it was a PhD program. I was in it for the study.
I did the work. I did the tools. I created sisterhood
within the women in which I do create sisterhood
and community so women can do these tools together.
And it's not just me, there are hundreds of thousands
of women who have gone through this kind of training.
And Mama Gina has only opened this up for her
students, some of her students to teach. So there's
only 50 of us around the world that can teach
these tools besides her. And she's no longer
doing anything in person. And she's also doing
things like overseas, like right now she's in
Morocco. So I'm taking these tools to the people,
to our people, to black women, because I know
it works. And we need to be We need to be shored
up, especially in these days and times, because
we have big fights ahead of us. We have big fights
on us. And if we don't stay healthy, turned on,
we're not gonna be able to fight the fight. So
I'm tapping into an area that we haven't looked
to do to find our power. Tapping into that area
where that would have gone, crying about some
man somewhere or some woman somewhere. Or we've
shut her down because we're in the fight. We
can't think about that right now. And I'm saying
we've got to. We have got to, we need to say,
wake up because we need more power here to get
through what we're facing. And so this work is
not just kind of trivial to turn yourself on,
which is beautiful, but it's to turn yourself
on so you can access more power. Exactly. The
only thing I could say is that's power because
the biggest thing that you teach is that we have
a choice because most people feel when they get
to a certain age that this is just how it's going
to be and this is just how it is because that's
what our parents taught us. And the truth of
the matter is we always have a choice. And you
are showing people a different choice that they
may have never thought of before, but it puts
you into a place of just pure personal power,
which connects us to the divine, it connects
us to the universe, and it connects us to each
other. So I love what you're doing now. I love
how your work has evolved. I have, you know,
watched you from afar and I get to see bits and
pieces of it, but to hear your, the full breadth
of what you're doing and the full arc of your
story is just absolutely beautiful because it's
not even about a second chapter. People talk
about I'm on the second chapter. It's like, no,
you're evolving into yourself, which is a different
experience because we, as Black women, are often
told that we don't deserve for a man to take
care of us the way that we want a man to take
care of us. You know, that we don't deserve to
not work. We have to work hard. Like, you know,
L. Hooks calls us the mule of society. You know,
so you can move into a space of power, manifestation,
and ease. Let's go. Let's go. Right. Right. And
now I work, I'm working because I want to work.
I love to work. And I love this work. That's
the thing. I love this work. And I get to do
this work. You know, there are other women who
have done all kinds of other stuff with this
work. You know, there are women who I know who,
you know, they were rich women. one rich woman
that I had met in the program. And she used to
give her money away to lovers here and there.
Just, you know, he find, you know, they get involved
in a relationship and like, oh, he wants to start
a business. And so she's given the money away
to that person. And she came into this work.
And he's like, she made other choices. And so
a choice that she made was she family who had
was produced in broad on Broadway. And instead
of giving her money away to some lover, she's
decided for the first time that she was going
to invest in a play. That play ended up going
on to Broadway and then winning a Tony. So it's
not - Okay, what's the name of the play? I can't
say because I can't, I can't tell you. I'm saying
a story that was something that, you know, was
in, you know, we have confidentiality, but it
ended up winning a Tony. And it's over the last,
like, I've been in this work for nine years.
So it's one of those best picture. But that's
to say that this work, when you say a desire,
and so shall it be or something even better way
beyond your wildest dreams. Once you start removing
the blocks to your awareness of pleasure, which
the tools do, you don't know what's going to
unlock for you. That will be the exact thing
that you needed to catapult you to your desires.
Well, thank you. That's what this work does.
That is absolutely beautiful. I don't know what
more we could say right now about all of this.
It's a lot to take in because for many people,
this is a new conversation. And I just want to
thank you for sharing your entire story and to
see, you know, like I said, to see the arc of
what you've done and what you're doing in all
of it. you have been true to yourself, which
is in itself is powerful. And I think that Mama
Gina just gave you new language for what you
already knew within yourself. So before we conclude
our beautiful conversation, I could talk to you
forever. What is one thing that people can do
at home? What is one question that a woman could
ask herself? to start her journey of finding
herself? That's a good question. I would say
this. If a woman, like when she's on the phone,
or like when she wakes up in the morning, or
she goes to bed at night, or anytime during the
day, Just take her, take your hand and cup your
vagina. Just cup her. You don't have to do anything.
You don't have to make any moves. You just put
your hand on her. Let her know that she's not
forgotten. Let her know that you're giving her
attention. to let her know that you love her.
And she doesn't have to do anything. And then
see how your day goes. Or see how that conversation
goes. Because they can't see you. So just see.
So that's what I'll offer. Well, Miss Annette
Freeman, thank you so much for this beautiful
conversation. I am glowing. I love talking about
this kind of stuff. I think for us, we need a
journey of liberation like none before. And I
love everything that you're talking about. So
how can people find out about your work or how
to get in touch with you? Sure. So my website
is goddessportalcoaching .com. It's a simple
website. There's an area to book a call. I have
free discovery calls. I have an in -person workshop
that's coming up in January, which is also available
through that website. It's happening in Wilmington,
North Carolina. And I also have a virtual course
offering similar to the in -person that's also
available on that website for you to find out.
But set up a call with me. I'd just love to talk
about it. You don't have to sign up for anything.
Just call, because I love talking about this
work. Yeah. Well, thank you again. And thank
you for saying yes to your calling. I've been
in conversation about calling with my friends
and it's like, it's a lot of us are getting called
to do something different and we all don't understand
it. So for you to say yes, lets me know that
you're a leader in this and people can trust
that what you do works because you've shown it
in your own life. So thank you so much. Thank
you, Monica. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
And I appreciate all of this. And the Black Women
Amplified family, please share this conversation
with your girls. It's something that we all need
to hear. And open your heart when you listen.
And listen with your heart. Because we are having
our own renaissance now. And we need all of the
tools in our toolkit to fully be liberated from
everything everybody told us that we were, so
that we can be the person that we were born to
be. So thank you all for listening and I will
see you on the next episode.