WEBVTT 00:00:00.620 --> 00:00:03.200 I have a good friend who has a highly questionable 00:00:03.200 --> 00:00:06.519 strategy when it comes to car maintenance. When 00:00:06.519 --> 00:00:08.839 she hears a sound under the hood that sounds 00:00:08.839 --> 00:00:11.140 a little strange, she doesn't pull over. She 00:00:11.140 --> 00:00:12.939 doesn't call a mechanic. She just turns up the 00:00:12.939 --> 00:00:16.239 volume on the radio. Her theory. If she can't 00:00:16.239 --> 00:00:18.379 hear the problem, the problem doesn't actually 00:00:18.379 --> 00:00:21.800 exist. Now we laugh at that and go, that's crazy. 00:00:22.600 --> 00:00:24.719 But we do the exact same thing in our lives. 00:00:25.079 --> 00:00:28.219 Most of us assume that a major structural failure 00:00:28.750 --> 00:00:32.189 happens all at once. A violent storm drops a 00:00:32.189 --> 00:00:34.869 tree through the roof, or floodwaters suddenly 00:00:34.869 --> 00:00:38.049 take over your living room. Something loud, catastrophic, 00:00:38.270 --> 00:00:41.070 and obviously enough that you can walk in, point 00:00:41.070 --> 00:00:43.009 at the wreckage, and say, well, there's the problem. 00:00:43.810 --> 00:00:47.429 But if you talk to any actual contractor, they'll 00:00:47.429 --> 00:00:50.490 tell you the damage that really scares them is 00:00:50.490 --> 00:00:54.049 much quieter than that. It's the slow, hidden 00:00:54.049 --> 00:00:56.969 water leak behind the drywall. It doesn't make 00:00:56.969 --> 00:00:59.719 a sound. It doesn't flood the basement overnight. 00:01:00.280 --> 00:01:03.640 And for months, everything keeps functioning 00:01:03.640 --> 00:01:06.819 normally. The lights turn on, the rooms look 00:01:06.819 --> 00:01:09.299 clean, and you keep walking through the house 00:01:09.299 --> 00:01:12.260 completely oblivious until one random Tuesday 00:01:12.260 --> 00:01:15.560 afternoon, you notice a faint discolored stain 00:01:15.560 --> 00:01:20.180 that wasn't the toddler. Once you see it, you 00:01:20.180 --> 00:01:23.340 realize the stain isn't the actual problem. The 00:01:23.340 --> 00:01:26.920 stain is just the evidence. It means something 00:01:26.920 --> 00:01:30.000 has been happening behind the wall for a lot 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:33.260 longer than you realized. And now you have a 00:01:33.260 --> 00:01:35.959 choice to make. You can paint over it and pretend 00:01:35.959 --> 00:01:38.500 it's fine, which is always incredibly tempting 00:01:38.500 --> 00:01:40.659 because a can of paint is significantly cheaper 00:01:40.659 --> 00:01:44.219 than a plumber. And it's way faster. And denial 00:01:44.219 --> 00:01:49.280 is way easier than a repair. Or you can actually 00:01:49.280 --> 00:01:53.879 open up the wall. That's exactly how drift catches 00:01:53.879 --> 00:01:57.189 up with us in real life. It's rarely a massive, 00:01:57.310 --> 00:02:01.150 scandalous collapse. For Christy and I, we've 00:02:01.150 --> 00:02:04.189 had a rule since we got married that we go to 00:02:04.189 --> 00:02:07.730 bed together. Rather than having completely different 00:02:07.730 --> 00:02:10.530 schedules where one wakes early and the other 00:02:10.530 --> 00:02:13.030 stays up late, we wanted to spend time together. 00:02:13.490 --> 00:02:16.889 Not be in the same house on different schedules, 00:02:17.110 --> 00:02:21.210 physically present, but not in sync. But even 00:02:21.210 --> 00:02:24.800 with that, we realized at times... that we need 00:02:24.800 --> 00:02:27.780 to make adjustments. It came from recognizing 00:02:27.780 --> 00:02:31.780 our communication started to be off, not arguing 00:02:31.780 --> 00:02:35.400 so much as just not being on the same page. It 00:02:35.400 --> 00:02:37.919 was a small sign, but it was enough to make us 00:02:37.919 --> 00:02:41.819 go, what needs to be done? Now, there's a classic 00:02:41.819 --> 00:02:44.560 leadership concept that perfectly captures what 00:02:44.560 --> 00:02:47.460 Christy and I had to walk through, and it's the 00:02:47.460 --> 00:02:49.879 idea that in a marriage, women are often the 00:02:49.879 --> 00:02:53.800 thermometer, but men are the thermostat. God 00:02:53.800 --> 00:02:56.639 has uniquely gifted women with this incredible 00:02:56.639 --> 00:03:00.939 high -definition radar for relationship and connection. 00:03:01.599 --> 00:03:06.360 They are the thermometer. They naturally sense 00:03:06.360 --> 00:03:09.539 the exact emotional temperature and the atmospheric 00:03:09.539 --> 00:03:13.659 shifts in the home. They can tell when the climate 00:03:13.659 --> 00:03:17.439 drops by a fraction of a degree. And they will 00:03:17.439 --> 00:03:20.219 almost always spot that little tiny stain on 00:03:20.219 --> 00:03:23.930 the wall way faster than we will, guys. Now, 00:03:23.930 --> 00:03:27.009 side note, husbands, our wives notice these things 00:03:27.009 --> 00:03:30.650 faster than we do often, but they're more sensitive 00:03:30.650 --> 00:03:33.990 to them. We need to hear them and talk through 00:03:33.990 --> 00:03:37.250 what's causing it and take the time to deal with 00:03:37.250 --> 00:03:40.810 the underlying issue. We have a tendency to say, 00:03:40.870 --> 00:03:44.289 eh, it's no big deal, until it is a huge deal. 00:03:44.949 --> 00:03:48.610 As husbands, we are designed to be the thermostat. 00:03:49.750 --> 00:03:52.229 A thermometer can only register the temperature. 00:03:52.969 --> 00:03:56.969 But a thermostat sets it. While that's not a 00:03:56.969 --> 00:04:01.090 perfect analogy of men and women, it does give 00:04:01.090 --> 00:04:04.870 us the idea of God's design. The overall emotional 00:04:04.870 --> 00:04:09.590 climate, the felt safety, and the spiritual tone 00:04:09.590 --> 00:04:12.750 of your home will almost always regulate to whatever 00:04:12.750 --> 00:04:17.649 you set your heart at. If you check out mentally, 00:04:17.810 --> 00:04:21.279 guys, ignore the subtle warning signs. and turn 00:04:21.279 --> 00:04:25.079 up your internal car radio you drop the thermostat 00:04:25.079 --> 00:04:28.959 of your marriage into a freeze your presence 00:04:28.959 --> 00:04:34.560 actively dictates the atmosphere wives understand 00:04:34.560 --> 00:04:39.079 how your husband is wired we're different it's 00:04:39.079 --> 00:04:41.740 not that your husband doesn't care or is blind 00:04:41.740 --> 00:04:44.480 even though he can't find the one blue shirt 00:04:44.480 --> 00:04:46.480 in the drawer even if it's the only thing in 00:04:46.480 --> 00:04:49.589 the drawer we're just wired differently and focus 00:04:49.589 --> 00:04:54.329 on different things. God designed us each to 00:04:54.329 --> 00:04:58.250 complement each other, not to be identical. This 00:04:58.250 --> 00:05:01.370 is God's good design. Because here's what happens 00:05:01.370 --> 00:05:04.230 when guys are finally presented with the issue. 00:05:04.370 --> 00:05:07.230 Our wiring usually drives us straight to one 00:05:07.230 --> 00:05:09.910 of two extreme options. Either we look at it 00:05:09.910 --> 00:05:12.730 and we try to minimize it saying, look, it's 00:05:12.730 --> 00:05:14.730 tiny, just touch it up with some paint and let's 00:05:14.730 --> 00:05:18.899 keep going. Or, We swing to the complete other 00:05:18.899 --> 00:05:22.220 side of the pendulum and say, oh, you want to 00:05:22.220 --> 00:05:25.000 deal with it? Fine. Let's grab a sledgehammer, 00:05:25.160 --> 00:05:27.899 take out the entire wall, rebuild the whole thing 00:05:27.899 --> 00:05:30.980 from scratch. We don't do middle ground very 00:05:30.980 --> 00:05:35.360 well. We go from lazy denial straight to full 00:05:35.360 --> 00:05:37.959 demolition mode over a normal Tuesday dinner 00:05:37.959 --> 00:05:41.899 conversation. Now, wives, this is exactly where 00:05:41.899 --> 00:05:46.019 you're incredible. God -given balance comes into 00:05:46.019 --> 00:05:50.569 play. You help us see the stain is telling us 00:05:50.569 --> 00:05:53.649 something more important that we can just ignore 00:05:53.649 --> 00:05:57.730 and paint over, but we shouldn't. But at the 00:05:57.730 --> 00:06:00.910 same time, you stand in the doorway and you don't 00:06:00.910 --> 00:06:05.110 allow us to go into total demolition mode. This 00:06:05.110 --> 00:06:07.290 should be a precise hole cut in the drywall and 00:06:07.290 --> 00:06:11.269 a simple patch on the pipe. You keep us from 00:06:11.269 --> 00:06:15.990 burning the house down over a minor repair. To 00:06:15.990 --> 00:06:18.610 fix our small communication leak, Christy and 00:06:18.610 --> 00:06:22.050 I had to lean into that exact dance and make 00:06:22.050 --> 00:06:25.410 practical adjustments. So now I get up in the 00:06:25.410 --> 00:06:27.629 morning and have a few minutes of quiet time. 00:06:28.029 --> 00:06:31.149 And then we make an effort to have coffee and 00:06:31.149 --> 00:06:34.269 talk each morning. It doesn't always happen, 00:06:34.350 --> 00:06:37.709 but it's one small way that we keep our priorities 00:06:37.709 --> 00:06:42.569 and that came from the same small stain for us. 00:06:44.490 --> 00:06:47.290 Because realigning a life doesn't require total 00:06:47.290 --> 00:06:50.750 demolition. And it doesn't work with a quick 00:06:50.750 --> 00:06:55.009 coat of cosmetic paint. God doesn't expose the 00:06:55.009 --> 00:06:58.189 drift behind our walls to crush us or issue a 00:06:58.189 --> 00:07:01.129 failing performance review. He shows us what's 00:07:01.129 --> 00:07:04.310 happening behind the drywall to rescue us before 00:07:04.310 --> 00:07:08.350 the whole structure collapses. Starting over 00:07:08.350 --> 00:07:14.620 doesn't mean the whole house was worthless. What 00:07:14.620 --> 00:07:18.439 neglect has been quietly eroding. So take a breath. 00:07:18.839 --> 00:07:22.420 Don't panic. Stop trying to paint over it. The 00:07:22.420 --> 00:07:25.279 stain on the wall isn't there to shame you. It's 00:07:25.279 --> 00:07:29.060 just exposing the hidden leak underneath while 00:07:29.060 --> 00:07:32.040 it's still a minor repair instead of a total 00:07:32.040 --> 00:07:36.420 wreck. Welcome to Grace and the Grind. Brought 00:07:36.420 --> 00:07:38.620 to you by Arrow and Roots Coffee Company. Where 00:07:38.620 --> 00:07:42.579 faith meets the everyday. Here we slow down. 00:07:43.149 --> 00:07:44.949 We take time to notice God's presence in the 00:07:44.949 --> 00:07:48.089 middle of life's busiest moments, to find encouragement, 00:07:48.269 --> 00:07:51.769 clarity, and a reminder of His grace right in 00:07:51.769 --> 00:07:54.230 the grind of daily life. So grab your coffee, 00:07:54.250 --> 00:07:58.569 and let's take a sip of this cup together. Now, 00:07:58.610 --> 00:08:01.230 today I've got some porch -like grace from Aaron 00:08:01.230 --> 00:08:05.410 Roots in my mug. But, full disclosure, there's 00:08:05.410 --> 00:08:07.490 no fancy pour -over or anything like that this 00:08:07.490 --> 00:08:10.069 morning. I'm sitting in a hotel room somewhere 00:08:10.069 --> 00:08:13.220 in Fort Worth. And the water temperature wasn't 00:08:13.220 --> 00:08:18.259 perfect. The bloom was, eh, lackluster. No premium 00:08:18.259 --> 00:08:21.160 setup. The only thing that was good was I had 00:08:21.160 --> 00:08:24.399 bottled water instead of tap water. And the coffee 00:08:24.399 --> 00:08:28.220 maker did its job. The great thing is about Portulac 00:08:28.220 --> 00:08:31.160 is it still came out with a really good cup of 00:08:31.160 --> 00:08:35.419 coffee. Even without all the fancy setup, the 00:08:35.419 --> 00:08:39.340 taste is great. And that's really good with... 00:08:39.559 --> 00:08:43.179 how everything mixes, and just giving me enough 00:08:43.179 --> 00:08:47.340 energy to go through the rest of my day. So we're 00:08:47.340 --> 00:08:50.360 going to jump in, and first we need to talk about 00:08:50.360 --> 00:08:52.779 in our last cup, we were talking about the middle 00:08:52.779 --> 00:08:56.120 season, and that it can be an incredibly frustrating 00:08:56.120 --> 00:08:58.820 space there where nothing seems to be changing, 00:08:58.960 --> 00:09:02.360 even though you're doing your absolute best to 00:09:02.360 --> 00:09:06.500 stay faithful. But today, we need to talk about 00:09:06.500 --> 00:09:08.600 something different than that kind of season. 00:09:09.000 --> 00:09:11.559 We're talking about moments that may feel like 00:09:11.559 --> 00:09:14.200 that kind of season where everything looks perfectly 00:09:14.200 --> 00:09:17.399 fine on the outside, but God begins to show you 00:09:17.399 --> 00:09:20.679 something underneath that has quietly shifted. 00:09:21.919 --> 00:09:24.659 It's not loud. It's not obvious. It's more like 00:09:24.659 --> 00:09:28.940 a subtle, unsettling moment that you walk into 00:09:28.940 --> 00:09:31.500 a room and realize it feels completely different, 00:09:31.539 --> 00:09:33.860 even though all the furniture is technically 00:09:33.860 --> 00:09:37.639 still sitting in the exact same place. And that's 00:09:37.639 --> 00:09:40.519 what makes this kind of drift so incredibly hard 00:09:40.519 --> 00:09:43.799 to name. Nothing is missing. Nothing is shattered. 00:09:43.980 --> 00:09:46.759 But something you once passionately protected 00:09:46.759 --> 00:09:49.480 has slowly become something you merely assumed 00:09:49.480 --> 00:09:53.500 will be fine. Cup 8 was about trusting God when 00:09:53.500 --> 00:09:57.460 you feel completely stuck. This cup is about 00:09:57.460 --> 00:10:01.720 how we respond when God, in his absolute kindness, 00:10:02.100 --> 00:10:06.279 helps us see what has quietly... slipped out 00:10:06.279 --> 00:10:09.559 of alignment. Not because your life has collapsed 00:10:09.559 --> 00:10:12.440 into a total wreck, but because he loves you 00:10:12.440 --> 00:10:15.019 too much to let you keep drifting towards a cliff. 00:10:16.159 --> 00:10:19.480 Once you notice that stain on the wall, you have 00:10:19.480 --> 00:10:23.700 to make a choice. Either paint over it or open 00:10:23.700 --> 00:10:26.480 up the wall. To really understand what it looks 00:10:26.480 --> 00:10:28.980 like to rebuild, we have to look at the Old Testament. 00:10:29.480 --> 00:10:32.279 And while we'll eventually be going to Ezra chapter 00:10:32.279 --> 00:10:36.549 3, I think we actually need to sit with a different 00:10:36.549 --> 00:10:40.129 prophet first. Because Ezra shows us how to rebuild, 00:10:40.330 --> 00:10:42.409 and we're going to get there. But the prophet 00:10:42.409 --> 00:10:45.129 Haggai helps us understand why the rebuilding 00:10:45.129 --> 00:10:48.009 process was necessary in the first place. And 00:10:48.009 --> 00:10:51.850 let me tell you, Haggai chapter 1 hits painfully 00:10:51.850 --> 00:10:56.309 close to home. Contextually, God's people had 00:10:56.309 --> 00:11:00.250 just returned from their 70 -year exile in Babylon. 00:11:00.870 --> 00:11:04.230 They were finally back in their homeland. They 00:11:04.230 --> 00:11:06.529 were no longer strangers in a foreign place. 00:11:07.789 --> 00:11:10.690 And the survival mode of the exile was technically 00:11:10.690 --> 00:11:14.210 over. But things were still not right. The temple 00:11:14.210 --> 00:11:17.429 of God was still sitting in total ruin. And the 00:11:17.429 --> 00:11:19.649 most uncomfortable part of this story is that 00:11:19.649 --> 00:11:23.110 the people had simply gotten used to it. The 00:11:23.110 --> 00:11:26.110 very thing that should have grieved their hearts 00:11:26.110 --> 00:11:28.889 had slowly just blended into the background of 00:11:28.889 --> 00:11:32.169 their daily lives. They accepted it. They walked 00:11:32.169 --> 00:11:35.320 past the rubble. Every single morning. They lived 00:11:35.320 --> 00:11:38.340 their lives around it. They built their own houses, 00:11:38.519 --> 00:11:41.620 managed their own businesses, handled their daily 00:11:41.620 --> 00:11:43.700 responsibilities, and took care of their kids. 00:11:43.980 --> 00:11:46.779 And somewhere in the middle of all that normal, 00:11:46.960 --> 00:11:50.580 frantic activity, the thing that was supposed 00:11:50.580 --> 00:11:53.899 to be central became something they promised 00:11:53.899 --> 00:11:58.120 they would get to later. That's exactly how drift 00:11:58.120 --> 00:12:01.960 works. It rarely starts by you looking up at 00:12:01.960 --> 00:12:06.190 heaven and saying, I refuse to obey you. It almost 00:12:06.190 --> 00:12:09.049 always starts by quietly saying, just not right 00:12:09.049 --> 00:12:12.990 now, not today, not this week. I'll get settled 00:12:12.990 --> 00:12:15.490 back into that once things finally settle down. 00:12:15.809 --> 00:12:18.750 I'll focus on my marriage once this project is 00:12:18.750 --> 00:12:21.769 off my plate. I'll focus on it once the kids 00:12:21.769 --> 00:12:23.830 are out of the house, but right now they need 00:12:23.830 --> 00:12:27.590 me. I'll focus on my soul once life gets a little 00:12:27.590 --> 00:12:32.200 easier. The problem is, Life rarely announces 00:12:32.200 --> 00:12:36.159 the exact moment when later silently turns into 00:12:36.159 --> 00:12:41.720 total neglect. Haggai says the people were constantly 00:12:41.720 --> 00:12:44.779 telling themselves the time has not yet come 00:12:44.779 --> 00:12:48.379 to rebuild the house of the Lord. And honestly, 00:12:48.559 --> 00:12:51.919 it sounded so reasonable, didn't it? They had 00:12:51.919 --> 00:12:55.039 a massive responsibility. They had homes to build 00:12:55.039 --> 00:12:57.620 from scratch, families to feed, fields to harvest, 00:12:57.779 --> 00:13:01.990 and bills to pay. This wasn't a crowd of lazy, 00:13:02.129 --> 00:13:05.289 rebellious people. This was ordinary, hardworking 00:13:05.289 --> 00:13:08.570 life becoming so utterly consuming that worship 00:13:08.570 --> 00:13:12.230 got pushed to the absolute margins. And then 00:13:12.230 --> 00:13:14.409 God breaks through the noise, looks at them, 00:13:14.509 --> 00:13:17.490 and says three words that should make all of 00:13:17.490 --> 00:13:22.309 us pause. Consider your ways. That sentence right 00:13:22.309 --> 00:13:26.289 there is the spot on the wall. That's God saying, 00:13:26.490 --> 00:13:30.559 look closer. Pay attention. Something is deeply 00:13:30.559 --> 00:13:33.600 off here, and you have simply learned to live 00:13:33.600 --> 00:13:36.799 around it. He points out this bizarre paradox 00:13:36.799 --> 00:13:39.779 in their lives. He tells them they're planting 00:13:39.779 --> 00:13:42.639 a ton of seeds, but harvesting almost nothing. 00:13:43.059 --> 00:13:46.360 They're eating, but they're never full. They're 00:13:46.360 --> 00:13:48.879 drinking, but they're still completely thirsty. 00:13:49.799 --> 00:13:52.559 They're earning wages, but it feels like they're 00:13:52.559 --> 00:13:55.159 putting their money into a pocket filled with 00:13:55.159 --> 00:14:02.149 holes. Operational, but underneath, something 00:14:02.149 --> 00:14:06.129 was misaligned. They are incredibly busy, but 00:14:06.129 --> 00:14:10.029 their souls are totally unsettled. They're active, 00:14:10.210 --> 00:14:13.649 but they're not aligned. And God connects that 00:14:13.649 --> 00:14:17.269 inner emptiness directly to a deeper structural 00:14:17.269 --> 00:14:21.730 issue. His house lies in total ruins while they 00:14:21.730 --> 00:14:26.830 keep frantically managing their own lives. Now, 00:14:26.909 --> 00:14:29.450 we have to be careful here. This is not a call 00:14:29.450 --> 00:14:31.690 to ignore your family, quit your job, or neglect 00:14:31.690 --> 00:14:34.230 your daily responsibilities. Scripture never 00:14:34.230 --> 00:14:37.409 honors hyper -spiritual language that uses God 00:14:37.409 --> 00:14:40.590 first as a lazy excuse to neglect the people 00:14:40.590 --> 00:14:44.710 and tasks he has actually entrusted to us. But 00:14:44.710 --> 00:14:48.210 Haggai is confronting something we all understand 00:14:48.210 --> 00:14:53.289 on a deep level. It is entirely possible to keep 00:14:53.289 --> 00:14:57.309 up the frantic pace of life and still completely 00:14:57.309 --> 00:15:01.299 drift. from worship. It is possible to maintain 00:15:01.299 --> 00:15:05.620 the structure of the house while totally neglecting 00:15:05.620 --> 00:15:10.279 the fire on the altar. This is where the conversation 00:15:10.279 --> 00:15:13.179 gets incredibly uncomfortable because most of 00:15:13.179 --> 00:15:16.419 us don't drift by making a big dramatic decision 00:15:16.419 --> 00:15:19.860 to walk away from what matters. We drift by delay 00:15:19.860 --> 00:15:23.720 and it's always a reasonable delay, isn't it? 00:15:24.279 --> 00:15:27.570 It's The kind of procrastination that sounds 00:15:27.570 --> 00:15:31.149 deeply responsible in the moment. But there's 00:15:31.149 --> 00:15:33.889 a massive difference between surviving a genuinely 00:15:33.889 --> 00:15:37.429 hard season and living with permanently neglected 00:15:37.429 --> 00:15:41.509 priorities. And the terrifying thing about drift 00:15:41.509 --> 00:15:45.289 is that we rarely notice the exact moment a temporary 00:15:45.289 --> 00:15:49.710 season hardens into a permanent lifestyle. We 00:15:49.710 --> 00:15:52.470 don't reject the main things. We just learn to 00:15:52.470 --> 00:15:54.779 live without. giving them the attention they 00:15:54.779 --> 00:15:58.120 deserve. That can happen so easily in our walk 00:15:58.120 --> 00:16:00.679 with God. Not because you stopped believing the 00:16:00.679 --> 00:16:03.960 Bible or walked away from your faith, but because 00:16:03.960 --> 00:16:07.440 real, intimate communication slowly gets replaced 00:16:07.440 --> 00:16:11.120 by automated motion. You're still around spiritual 00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:13.779 things. You're still using the right vocabulary. 00:16:14.059 --> 00:16:15.899 You're still showing up to church when it fits 00:16:15.899 --> 00:16:18.600 into the calendar. Around your kid's summer league, 00:16:18.860 --> 00:16:22.620 vacation. You know those tired Sundays when you 00:16:22.620 --> 00:16:25.080 just don't feel like making it, fishing trips 00:16:25.080 --> 00:16:28.279 or whatever else you've got going. But your prayer 00:16:28.279 --> 00:16:31.960 life has become completely thin. Scripture has 00:16:31.960 --> 00:16:34.259 become an occasional notification on your phone. 00:16:34.919 --> 00:16:38.039 Worship has become an event you attend on Sunday 00:16:38.039 --> 00:16:41.700 instead of the ultimate anchor that orders your 00:16:41.700 --> 00:16:45.080 entire week. Before you know it, God is still 00:16:45.080 --> 00:16:48.299 technically in the house, but he's no longer 00:16:48.299 --> 00:16:52.940 the sinner. Holding the house together. And let's 00:16:52.940 --> 00:16:55.159 be completely honest. It happens in our marriage 00:16:55.159 --> 00:16:59.120 all the time. Not because the love has vanished 00:16:59.120 --> 00:17:01.720 or someone cheated. But because the relationship 00:17:01.720 --> 00:17:05.640 became assumed. You still live under the same 00:17:05.640 --> 00:17:09.119 roof. You still split the responsibilities. You 00:17:09.119 --> 00:17:11.339 talk about the schedule, the kids, the finances, 00:17:11.440 --> 00:17:13.420 the endless logistics of running a household. 00:17:13.880 --> 00:17:18.490 But the actual tenderness gets paper thin. The 00:17:18.490 --> 00:17:21.910 focus gets divided. The friendship gets whatever 00:17:21.910 --> 00:17:24.750 radioactive leftovers are left at the end of 00:17:24.750 --> 00:17:26.569 the night after the urgent things have finished 00:17:26.569 --> 00:17:29.789 taking their turn. And because nothing is technically 00:17:29.789 --> 00:17:33.390 broken, you convince yourself that nothing needs 00:17:33.390 --> 00:17:36.089 to be repaired. This can happen in parenting 00:17:36.089 --> 00:17:39.490 too. And man, this is a part that hurts me to 00:17:39.490 --> 00:17:42.750 say out loud. It's entirely possible to love 00:17:42.750 --> 00:17:45.369 your children so much that you would willingly 00:17:45.369 --> 00:17:48.279 give your life for them. while simultaneously 00:17:48.279 --> 00:17:52.059 being too completely distracted to actually sit 00:17:52.059 --> 00:17:55.720 on the floor and look them in the eyes. It's 00:17:55.720 --> 00:17:58.779 possible to provide for your family, keep them 00:17:58.779 --> 00:18:02.339 safe, fed, clothed, and transported to every 00:18:02.339 --> 00:18:05.160 single extracurricular event known to mankind 00:18:05.160 --> 00:18:09.059 while losing the basic habit of being fully present 00:18:09.059 --> 00:18:13.579 in the room. That's the kind of misalignment 00:18:13.579 --> 00:18:18.059 that's so dangerous. It hides inside good things. 00:18:18.380 --> 00:18:24.700 It works good. Providing is good. Serving is 00:18:24.700 --> 00:18:27.220 good. Keeping the house from falling into total 00:18:27.220 --> 00:18:32.299 chaos is a literal miracle. But good things become 00:18:32.299 --> 00:18:35.539 dangerous the second they quietly take the place 00:18:35.539 --> 00:18:39.140 of first things. When the order is off long enough, 00:18:39.319 --> 00:18:43.039 the disorder starts to feel completely normal. 00:18:43.920 --> 00:18:47.240 You stop noticing the leak because your nose 00:18:47.240 --> 00:18:50.200 has simply gotten used to the smell of damp drywall. 00:18:52.940 --> 00:18:57.539 When God says, consider your ways, he isn't asking 00:18:57.539 --> 00:19:01.680 you to put on a performance of guilt. He's inviting 00:19:01.680 --> 00:19:05.000 you to tell the truth. He's asking us to stop 00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:07.839 measuring the quality of our lives solely by 00:19:07.839 --> 00:19:10.819 whether the machine is still functioning. Because 00:19:10.819 --> 00:19:14.460 functioning is not the same thing as being faithful. 00:19:15.579 --> 00:19:18.880 A house can function with a hidden water leak 00:19:18.880 --> 00:19:23.980 behind the wall for a while. A marriage can function 00:19:23.980 --> 00:19:27.420 with a massive emotional distance for a while. 00:19:28.039 --> 00:19:32.400 A soul can function with prayer pushed to the 00:19:32.400 --> 00:19:37.619 absolute margins for a while. But God loves you 00:19:37.619 --> 00:19:41.920 way too much to let for a while become your entire 00:19:41.920 --> 00:19:46.599 story. So he lets you see the stain, not to humiliate 00:19:46.599 --> 00:19:51.119 you, but to wake you up. This is where grace 00:19:51.119 --> 00:19:54.119 has to meet us, because clarity can either lead 00:19:54.119 --> 00:19:58.400 us to repentance or get twisted into guilt that 00:19:58.400 --> 00:20:01.339 leads to death. When you finally get that moment 00:20:01.339 --> 00:20:04.960 of clarity, the first question is not, how on 00:20:04.960 --> 00:20:09.420 earth did I let things get this bad? That matters 00:20:09.420 --> 00:20:13.660 eventually, but it's not the first step. The 00:20:13.660 --> 00:20:16.759 better question is simply, Lord, what are you 00:20:16.759 --> 00:20:19.720 calling me to return to? Because the biblical 00:20:19.720 --> 00:20:23.359 answer to drift is never panic. It's repentance. 00:20:24.339 --> 00:20:27.059 And I'm not talking about theatrical, dramatic, 00:20:27.299 --> 00:20:30.680 social media announcement repentance. I'm not 00:20:30.680 --> 00:20:33.079 talking about walking down the aisle crying in 00:20:33.079 --> 00:20:36.119 the front of the church. I'm talking about quiet, 00:20:36.319 --> 00:20:39.920 honest repentance. The kind that happens when 00:20:39.920 --> 00:20:42.460 you're sitting alone in your car or at the kitchen 00:20:42.460 --> 00:20:46.119 table. Looking up and saying, God, I see it now. 00:20:46.559 --> 00:20:49.019 I've been frantically managing what you called 00:20:49.019 --> 00:20:52.819 me to steward. I've been assuming what you called 00:20:52.819 --> 00:20:57.099 me to protect. I've been obsessing over the outside 00:20:57.099 --> 00:20:59.859 while the center has been totally neglected. 00:21:01.500 --> 00:21:05.180 Bring me back to the altar. That's exactly where 00:21:05.180 --> 00:21:10.380 Ezra chapter 3 meets us. When the remnant finally 00:21:10.380 --> 00:21:13.869 decided to rebuild. They didn't start with massive 00:21:13.869 --> 00:21:17.069 city walls or the defensive structures to make 00:21:17.069 --> 00:21:21.269 themselves look secure. The text says they built 00:21:21.269 --> 00:21:23.910 the altar before the foundation of the temple 00:21:23.910 --> 00:21:27.589 was even laid and before the walls were secure. 00:21:28.349 --> 00:21:31.970 They returned to worship first because they knew 00:21:31.970 --> 00:21:35.789 that if the altar was neglected, every other 00:21:35.789 --> 00:21:39.509 repair you attempt is just cosmetic paint over 00:21:39.509 --> 00:21:43.460 structural damage. And hear me clearly on this, 00:21:43.579 --> 00:21:46.339 because this is where grace has to anchor your 00:21:46.339 --> 00:21:50.220 heart. Noticing the drift is not condemnation. 00:21:50.539 --> 00:21:54.619 It really is mercy. Shame and guilt is always 00:21:54.619 --> 00:21:57.740 the first to arrive. The second clarity shows 00:21:57.740 --> 00:22:02.640 up. Using pieces of truth to build a cage for 00:22:02.640 --> 00:22:06.940 your soul. But God does not expose drift the 00:22:06.940 --> 00:22:11.559 way an enemy does. An enemy... exposes you to 00:22:11.559 --> 00:22:16.319 accuse you. A father exposes you to restore you. 00:22:17.420 --> 00:22:19.720 There's a universe of difference between those 00:22:19.720 --> 00:22:23.220 two things. When God tells you to consider your 00:22:23.220 --> 00:22:28.279 ways, he's not doing so to crush you. Apathy 00:22:28.279 --> 00:22:30.680 would leave the leak alone and let the house 00:22:30.680 --> 00:22:35.039 rot. Love is the thing that boldly opens the 00:22:35.039 --> 00:22:40.089 wall. It's almost never comfortable. And nobody 00:22:40.089 --> 00:22:43.309 enjoys finding out the damage is deeper than 00:22:43.309 --> 00:22:47.809 they thought. But there's immense mercy in being 00:22:47.809 --> 00:22:51.049 shown what needs to heal while there's still 00:22:51.049 --> 00:22:55.329 time to fix it. Restoration doesn't mean you 00:22:55.329 --> 00:22:58.150 have to erase your past or throw away your life. 00:22:58.309 --> 00:23:02.410 It means God takes what remains and brings it 00:23:02.410 --> 00:23:06.849 back under his good rule. You aren't starting 00:23:06.849 --> 00:23:10.039 over from scratch. You're just letting him repair 00:23:10.039 --> 00:23:15.220 what drift has weakened. So here's my passionate 00:23:15.220 --> 00:23:18.859 invitation for you this week. Do not try to fix 00:23:18.859 --> 00:23:21.259 everything at once. I know I say that a lot. 00:23:21.740 --> 00:23:23.759 That's usually where we get ourselves into a 00:23:23.759 --> 00:23:27.420 lot of trouble, and I'm saying that to me. We 00:23:27.420 --> 00:23:31.279 get a moment of conviction, and suddenly we want 00:23:31.279 --> 00:23:33.339 to completely overhaul the entire structure of 00:23:33.339 --> 00:23:37.140 our lives before breakfast. If you're wired anything 00:23:37.140 --> 00:23:40.339 like me, You immediately start project managing, 00:23:40.480 --> 00:23:44.039 and doing that with your sanctification is always 00:23:44.039 --> 00:23:46.420 going to make you fail. You start making these 00:23:46.420 --> 00:23:49.240 massive, frantic plans. Okay, starting tomorrow, 00:23:49.420 --> 00:23:51.440 we're going to do family worship every night. 00:23:51.640 --> 00:23:53.980 Date night every Friday. Phones in a basket at 00:23:53.980 --> 00:23:57.359 6 p .m. Scripture memory at breakfast. A budget 00:23:57.359 --> 00:24:00.200 meeting on Tuesday. A perfect Sabbath rhythm 00:24:00.200 --> 00:24:03.079 by the weekend. And somehow, everyone in the 00:24:03.079 --> 00:24:05.019 house is going to be emotionally healthy by the 00:24:05.019 --> 00:24:08.440 end of this month. Which... You know, that sounds 00:24:08.440 --> 00:24:12.079 spiritual on paper, but it's actually just a 00:24:12.079 --> 00:24:15.200 guaranteed way to completely exhaust every single 00:24:15.200 --> 00:24:18.059 human being in your home by Thursday afternoon. 00:24:19.180 --> 00:24:22.839 It's not what God is inviting you into. The invitation 00:24:22.839 --> 00:24:26.759 is much smaller, much humbler, and much more 00:24:26.759 --> 00:24:30.839 honest. And it has way bigger results. I want 00:24:30.839 --> 00:24:33.140 you to sit with the Lord this week and ask him 00:24:33.140 --> 00:24:35.920 just one question. What have I been painting 00:24:35.920 --> 00:24:40.450 over? And this is hard for me right now. Because 00:24:40.450 --> 00:24:43.630 I have to ask myself the same thing. And not 00:24:43.630 --> 00:24:48.009 just once. This is an ongoing question. Don't 00:24:48.009 --> 00:24:50.650 ask him, God give me ten things, I can handle 00:24:50.650 --> 00:24:53.970 it. Name the one specific place where God has 00:24:53.970 --> 00:24:56.950 been quietly trying to get your attention. And 00:24:56.950 --> 00:25:00.509 you've been tempted to make excuses or turn up 00:25:00.509 --> 00:25:03.849 the radio. Maybe it's an uncomfortable conversation 00:25:03.849 --> 00:25:06.329 with your spouse that you keep avoiding because 00:25:06.329 --> 00:25:09.809 it's going to require some really raw honesty. 00:25:11.089 --> 00:25:13.869 Maybe it's a morning rhythm of silence that used 00:25:13.869 --> 00:25:17.349 to keep your soul grounded, but lately it's become 00:25:17.349 --> 00:25:21.470 entirely optional. Maybe it's the way you walk 00:25:21.470 --> 00:25:24.369 through the front door physically, but you're 00:25:24.369 --> 00:25:27.710 still carrying the entire stress of the office 00:25:27.710 --> 00:25:31.920 in your head. Whatever it is. Stop trying to 00:25:31.920 --> 00:25:34.599 make it look pretty. Just tell the truth about 00:25:34.599 --> 00:25:38.440 it. That's what it means to open the wall. It 00:25:38.440 --> 00:25:41.359 doesn't mean you magically know how to fix the 00:25:41.359 --> 00:25:44.720 plumbing yet. It just means you're finally done 00:25:44.720 --> 00:25:47.500 pretending the stain is just a cosmetic issue. 00:25:48.380 --> 00:25:52.140 And then take one single faithful step of repair. 00:25:52.599 --> 00:25:56.099 Not a dramatic lifestyle overhaul. Just one step. 00:25:56.779 --> 00:25:59.660 Have the conversation. Put the phone in the other 00:25:59.660 --> 00:26:03.880 room. when you walk into the door. Protect one 00:26:03.880 --> 00:26:08.119 single evening. Return to quiet prayer before 00:26:08.119 --> 00:26:11.700 you return to frantic planning. And please, apologize 00:26:11.700 --> 00:26:14.980 to the people you love without giving a 20 -minute 00:26:14.980 --> 00:26:18.119 closing argument about why you were tired, busy, 00:26:18.359 --> 00:26:22.920 or mostly justified. Just say, I see it now. 00:26:23.200 --> 00:26:25.539 I haven't protected this relationship like I 00:26:25.539 --> 00:26:29.039 should. And I want to make it right. It's not 00:26:29.039 --> 00:26:33.539 weakness. It's real spiritual maturity. And if 00:26:33.539 --> 00:26:35.839 any one of these relationships is out of line, 00:26:36.019 --> 00:26:40.599 it affects everything else. So if it's the vertical 00:26:40.599 --> 00:26:43.880 one with God, you've got to get that corrected 00:26:43.880 --> 00:26:48.400 for the marriage and the family to be on the 00:26:48.400 --> 00:26:52.880 right footing. If it's your wife, your husband, 00:26:53.000 --> 00:26:56.640 your kids, whatever it is, you've got to get 00:26:56.640 --> 00:26:59.690 that right to get... that vertical relationship 00:26:59.690 --> 00:27:03.930 back to center. So before we close, let me pause 00:27:03.930 --> 00:27:06.630 here for just a second. If you want to help us 00:27:06.630 --> 00:27:09.630 continue these honest conversations, grab a bag 00:27:09.630 --> 00:27:11.369 of coffee from Aaron Roots. It's the simplest 00:27:11.369 --> 00:27:14.269 way to do that. I know I mentioned earlier that 00:27:14.269 --> 00:27:18.849 I'm drinking porch lot out of a cheap hotel pot 00:27:18.849 --> 00:27:20.970 today, and honestly, that feels like a pretty 00:27:20.970 --> 00:27:24.670 good metaphor for this episode, but we really 00:27:24.670 --> 00:27:27.240 appreciate your support and all that. we're doing, 00:27:27.299 --> 00:27:29.880 and honestly, we just want this to glorify God. 00:27:30.839 --> 00:27:34.000 So thank you so much for listening to Grace on 00:27:34.000 --> 00:27:37.099 the Grind. If this has been helping you, share 00:27:37.099 --> 00:27:40.880 it with a friend. A lot of us don't need to burn 00:27:40.880 --> 00:27:44.000 down our lives and start over from scratch. We 00:27:44.000 --> 00:27:46.259 just need some people to walk along with us and 00:27:46.259 --> 00:27:49.640 help us refocus, point us back to Scripture, 00:27:49.859 --> 00:27:53.240 point us back to God. Maybe you can be that for 00:27:53.240 --> 00:27:55.910 a friend that you're walking with today. And 00:27:55.910 --> 00:27:57.710 if you haven't already, take five seconds to 00:27:57.710 --> 00:27:59.529 follow the show, subscribe, and leave an honest 00:27:59.529 --> 00:28:02.710 review. Apparently, the internet algorithms require 00:28:02.710 --> 00:28:05.609 total strangers to confirm that a podcast is 00:28:05.609 --> 00:28:08.089 worth listening to. And I don't make those rules. 00:28:08.589 --> 00:28:10.609 You can find the link to Arrow and Roots right 00:28:10.609 --> 00:28:13.829 there in the show notes, along with ways to support 00:28:13.829 --> 00:28:16.769 what we're building here. But until next time, 00:28:16.849 --> 00:28:19.589 keep your coffee strong and your faith stronger. 00:28:19.769 --> 00:28:23.230 And remember, the stain isn't there to shame 00:28:23.230 --> 00:28:28.940 you. It's just God in his immense kindness letting 00:28:28.940 --> 00:28:32.359 you see what needs attention underneath before 00:28:32.359 --> 00:28:35.559 the damage gets any deeper. We'll see you in 00:28:35.559 --> 00:28:35.980 the next cup.