Departmento Vox Communicatus Office of Catastrophic
Reclassification Internal Memorandum Title Due
to recent improvements in catastrophe management
Circulation All remaining personnel and those
resembling them Classification Encouraging Date
Indeterminate but morale positive Subject Clarification
and celebration of our recent improvements in
catastrophe management to all valued employees
conscripts remnants and animate participants
the office of catastrophic reclassification is
pleased to report measurable success in the ongoing
optimization of disaster conditions across sub
-sector beta 3 following recent events still
unfolding still glowing the Hive has officially
entered what analysts are describing as a sustained
state of improvement through catastrophe management.
This memorandum seeks to clarify key adjustments
to terminology, workflow and acceptable screaming
levels. Section 1. Redefinition of catastrophe.
Effective immediately, the term catastrophe will
be replaced in all official documentation with
creative euphemism. Personnel are encouraged
to reframe all observable collapse as a manifestation
of the hive's creative spirit. Examples My shift
supervisor was dissolved by unstructured progress.
The ceiling is expressing creative freedom. The
floor has become fluid with opportunity. Positive
reframing fosters morale and limits liability.
losses and promotions. All individuals previously
designated missing, deceased or transmogrified
are to be recorded under the new category, temporarily
reassigned to abstract function. This reflects
the department's belief that all service continues,
whether physical, metaphysical or vaporised.
Please note. Personnel found praying to their
own name tags will be considered in violation
of the union of form and are to be gently corrected
with calming solvents. Section 3. Infrastructure
Update Several civic structures have chosen to
reinterpret their purpose. The central Habspire
has begun folding itself into a devotional spiral.
Power Station Gamma 6 is now a Cathedral of Sparks.
The sewage network has achieved spontaneous sentience
and has applied for departmental recognition.
These developments are to be celebrated as indicators
of dynamic, self -guided progress. Remember,
if the walls are whispering, it means they care.
Section 4. Psychological Reinforcement Initiative
In recognition of recent morale fluctuations,
classified as enthusiastic screaming, The Department
is proud to introduce the Smile Contingent Program.
Participants will be issued corrective visors
that ensure a continuous, regulation -approved
grin. Compliance with the Smile Directive will
be rewarded with extended break periods and occasional
air. Section 5. Commendations. The following
individuals and collectives are recognized for
their outstanding contributions to the ongoing
catastrophe management. Overseer Lira Hev, posthumous,
for redefining containment breach as personnel
redistribution. The Choir of Reactor Sub -Level
4, for maintaining harmonic integrity during
meltdown. Servitor Unit 117B, for continuing
to file reports without fingers. All commendations
will be engraved on the next available structural
surface. Section 6, Forward Outlook. Projections
indicate a 300 % increase in ambient miracles,
a 40 % rise in communicable salvation, and the
total dissolution of at least one calendar system.
As we continue our transition into a fully reclassified
catastrophe, let us take comfort in the departmental
creed. What burns, builds. What falls, ascends.
What ends, reports. We thank all colleagues for
their dedication, their composure, and their
continued existence in whatever form remains.
Further guidance will be distributed as soon
as we regain the concept of distribution. Signed,
Acting Undersecretary of Continuity, Farah Holne.
Filed under Directive 99B, Inspiration Through
Collapse. Blessed be the paperwork that survives
the flame. Host Servitor 241 was played by Richard
Roberts. Vox Sanctum Gloriana is an Evil Lighthouse
production.