WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.460 Imagine this for a moment. 00:00:01.960 --> 00:00:03.280 You're nursing your baby. 00:00:03.759 --> 00:00:08.320 You've got a kindergartner asking you for the 10th time how to spell a word, 00:00:08.380 --> 00:00:14.200 and your primary age child is struggling with long division and they keep saying 00:00:14.230 --> 00:00:16.119 they're hungry and they want a snack. 00:00:16.600 --> 00:00:19.970 And in the meantime, you still haven't put the laundry load on, 00:00:20.040 --> 00:00:24.490 nor have you unpacked the dishwasher and your dishes are piled high. 00:00:25.699 --> 00:00:30.439 Now imagine a different morning your older child is working through a few 00:00:30.439 --> 00:00:36.109 problems independently making a note of those that he needs help with. 00:00:36.980 --> 00:00:42.260 Your kindergartner is checking the word wall you made together, and your 00:00:42.260 --> 00:00:48.019 oldest is setting out plates for snacks that are pre-prepared in the fridge. 00:00:48.709 --> 00:00:49.999 This isn't a fantasy. 00:00:50.464 --> 00:00:55.144 It's what happens when we plan ahead and intentionally teach our children 00:00:55.144 --> 00:00:57.844 to become independent learners. 00:00:58.475 --> 00:01:04.805 And here's the thing, when our children are young, this is the perfect time 00:01:04.805 --> 00:01:10.235 to start building these skills, even though sometimes it feels easier and 00:01:10.235 --> 00:01:11.975 quicker just to do things for them. 00:01:12.755 --> 00:01:16.865 Today we're going to talk about how to foster real independence, 00:01:17.255 --> 00:01:22.190 responsibility, and self direction in your young learners at home. 00:01:23.914 --> 00:01:26.830 This is why independence matters even more at home. 00:01:26.830 --> 00:01:30.940 Because you know that something has to change when you are encountering 00:01:30.970 --> 00:01:34.390 that same issue over and over. 00:01:35.170 --> 00:01:37.060 So here's an example of what I mean. 00:01:38.020 --> 00:01:41.590 The kids come to you and they ask you the same question over and over. 00:01:41.590 --> 00:01:43.210 Maybe it's, where are my shoes? 00:01:43.300 --> 00:01:44.200 Or whatever it could be. 00:01:44.680 --> 00:01:45.880 Or, I'm hungry. 00:01:45.910 --> 00:01:47.110 When can we have a snack? 00:01:47.590 --> 00:01:50.680 Or that toddler that keeps whining every time you have to 00:01:50.680 --> 00:01:52.360 just sit down to nurse your baby. 00:01:52.990 --> 00:01:56.259 When these things are happening at the same time. 00:01:56.905 --> 00:02:03.265 It can make you feel overwhelmed because the truth be told is that we cannot be 00:02:03.265 --> 00:02:06.145 everything to everyone all the time. 00:02:06.565 --> 00:02:13.345 And when you're teaching and you're the parent simultaneously, independence 00:02:13.405 --> 00:02:16.195 isn't a luxury, it's a necessity. 00:02:16.285 --> 00:02:17.875 It's what's going to keep you sane. 00:02:18.895 --> 00:02:22.225 I always remember my second son was born, my oldest was only 00:02:22.225 --> 00:02:24.175 17 months old, still a baby. 00:02:24.500 --> 00:02:28.970 But I didn't have the luxury of having help or having my mum nearby 00:02:29.000 --> 00:02:32.209 or friends who, um, would pop in. 00:02:32.239 --> 00:02:33.679 We lived in a foreign country. 00:02:34.220 --> 00:02:37.310 My husband worked away for much of the time, and I was at home 00:02:37.310 --> 00:02:41.810 with a baby and a 17 month old toddler, and I still remember, 00:02:42.835 --> 00:02:45.955 saying to my oldest son who was just a baby at the time, really, 00:02:46.495 --> 00:02:48.445 I really need you to be a big boy. 00:02:48.535 --> 00:02:53.935 I need your help because when I'm feeding your little brother, I can't help you too. 00:02:54.715 --> 00:02:55.495 The poor little thing. 00:02:55.495 --> 00:03:00.025 I always felt bad about that, but I literally didn't have a choice 00:03:00.565 --> 00:03:05.425 but to make him independent because there was no one else around to help. 00:03:05.965 --> 00:03:10.714 I had to put systems in place for when I couldn't help him or play with him. 00:03:11.515 --> 00:03:16.135 I prepared his snack, for example, beforehand I would have picture books 00:03:16.165 --> 00:03:20.935 near me so that I could read him a story while I was nursing his brother and I made 00:03:20.935 --> 00:03:26.665 sure that the toys were within easy reach for him, close to me, so that he felt 00:03:26.665 --> 00:03:29.305 comfortable playing on his own near me. 00:03:30.025 --> 00:03:35.690 This early training in independence really stood both my children in good stead 00:03:36.279 --> 00:03:42.565 because independent kids are easy kids, they're easier to teach and they're more 00:03:42.565 --> 00:03:48.325 confident because they pride themselves in being able to do things on their own. 00:03:48.325 --> 00:03:53.575 And of course, these skills transfer beyond home and beyond school. 00:03:53.904 --> 00:03:55.344 They become life skills. 00:03:55.674 --> 00:04:00.714 Children become natural problem solvers, and they're able to motivate themselves. 00:04:01.614 --> 00:04:06.729 You know, I often think back, and I think I was perhaps too hard on my 00:04:06.729 --> 00:04:11.559 kids, not bailing them out all the time or doing things for them when 00:04:11.559 --> 00:04:13.149 they could do things for themselves. 00:04:13.839 --> 00:04:17.829 But thinking back, I can think of so many instances when I left them 00:04:17.829 --> 00:04:19.509 to sort things out for themselves. 00:04:20.259 --> 00:04:24.849 And I remember one time being in the supermarket with a trolley full of 00:04:24.849 --> 00:04:31.059 groceries when my phone rang, and it was my youngest phoning from the school office 00:04:31.269 --> 00:04:37.090 telling me that he had forgotten his swimming bathers and his towel at home, 00:04:37.150 --> 00:04:39.280 and they were having a swimming lesson. 00:04:39.730 --> 00:04:43.719 And I know it sounds cruel, but I just said, sorry, my 00:04:43.719 --> 00:04:45.490 boy, I'm in the supermarket. 00:04:45.520 --> 00:04:48.400 I've got a trolley full of food and you'll have to make a plan. 00:04:48.550 --> 00:04:50.500 I'm sorry I can't come to school and help you. 00:04:51.909 --> 00:04:53.440 And make a plan he did. 00:04:53.590 --> 00:04:55.120 He went to the lost property. 00:04:55.180 --> 00:04:57.820 He found a pair of swimming trunks and a towel. 00:04:57.880 --> 00:05:01.270 He did the lesson and he returned them to the lost property afterwards. 00:05:01.750 --> 00:05:02.605 And you know what else? 00:05:03.445 --> 00:05:07.794 He felt proud that he solved his own problem, and of course he made sure that 00:05:07.794 --> 00:05:09.895 he never forgot his swimming gear again. 00:05:13.585 --> 00:05:18.369 This has carried through into my children's young adult lives. 00:05:19.179 --> 00:05:23.140 We aren't in a position to give them jobs in our business simply 00:05:23.140 --> 00:05:24.909 because we don't have a business. 00:05:25.030 --> 00:05:29.380 We haven't inherited vast sums of money and everything we have as a family, we've 00:05:29.380 --> 00:05:35.030 had to work hard for and make sacrifices, and the boys know that they have to make 00:05:35.740 --> 00:05:36.820 their own lives too. 00:05:37.540 --> 00:05:43.270 They have been able to complete difficult degrees and find jobs on their own merit. 00:05:43.960 --> 00:05:47.440 This is what independence and resilience breeds. 00:05:48.219 --> 00:05:54.460 I know that if I died tomorrow, they would be absolutely capable of making their own 00:05:54.460 --> 00:05:58.990 lives and looking after their own families and standing on their own two feet. 00:05:59.905 --> 00:06:04.705 But this independence and the resilience didn't start when they left school. 00:06:05.365 --> 00:06:10.915 It started when they were little with me, providing a strong foundation and 00:06:11.035 --> 00:06:17.034 organized systems so that they felt a sense of pride and achievement and 00:06:17.034 --> 00:06:19.795 independence within boundaries of course. 00:06:20.994 --> 00:06:24.684 So what does this practically look like in the day-to-day running of a home? 00:06:25.525 --> 00:06:29.455 Well, number one is, first and foremost is get yourself organized. 00:06:30.025 --> 00:06:30.354 Perhaps. 00:06:30.354 --> 00:06:35.905 I'm lucky in that I am a very organized person, mostly anyway when I have to be. 00:06:36.294 --> 00:06:40.705 If you saw the state of my desk, you would never say so, but there you go. 00:06:41.364 --> 00:06:45.624 So for example, if you get into the habit of never leaving things lying 00:06:45.624 --> 00:06:48.145 around, you never have to tidy up. 00:06:48.744 --> 00:06:50.184 Because things are in order. 00:06:51.025 --> 00:06:55.494 If you clean your kitchen after every meal, you never have a messy kitchen. 00:06:56.335 --> 00:07:01.344 These little things really help you when you are busy and so you 00:07:01.344 --> 00:07:05.275 train your children from when they are young to put away their toys, 00:07:05.275 --> 00:07:07.164 for example, at the end of the day. 00:07:07.914 --> 00:07:13.679 I've said it many times on this podcast, but children learn from us. 00:07:15.159 --> 00:07:18.460 If you are disorganized, they tend to be disorganized. 00:07:18.760 --> 00:07:22.870 If you put things away and you're encouraged by your own example, them 00:07:22.870 --> 00:07:27.700 to do the same, it's less work for you eventually, and you live in a 00:07:27.700 --> 00:07:29.740 tidy space that you can be proud of. 00:07:30.460 --> 00:07:34.950 And, when you're organizing, have a place where kids put their shoes 00:07:35.100 --> 00:07:39.420 when they come home, or where they leave their backpacks, or a routine 00:07:39.420 --> 00:07:45.420 to follow for homework or reading, whatever it is, get yourself organized. 00:07:45.660 --> 00:07:49.530 Get a routine in place, and have things in a place ready and easily 00:07:49.530 --> 00:07:55.874 accessible for children so that they can get things themselves without 00:07:55.874 --> 00:07:58.274 having to ask you each and every time. 00:07:58.874 --> 00:08:02.774 And remember that independence looks different at different ages. 00:08:03.164 --> 00:08:06.614 By age five a child is more than capable of getting their own 00:08:06.614 --> 00:08:10.004 materials as long as they know where they are and how to use them. 00:08:10.754 --> 00:08:11.629 By age eight 00:08:12.375 --> 00:08:15.495 a child can follow a checklist or a chore schedule. 00:08:15.855 --> 00:08:19.935 It's not about leaving kids completely alone and being 00:08:20.115 --> 00:08:21.885 a totally hands off parent. 00:08:22.425 --> 00:08:24.615 It's not about being neglectful. 00:08:24.975 --> 00:08:29.745 It's about getting children to a stage where they know what and how to do 00:08:29.745 --> 00:08:32.745 something before asking you for your help. 00:08:33.285 --> 00:08:35.295 These small wins matter. 00:08:35.715 --> 00:08:37.319 When you've trained children from small 00:08:37.950 --> 00:08:42.329 to put away their toys, later it's putting away supplies or starting 00:08:42.329 --> 00:08:47.250 homework or trying to solve a problem first or making themselves a snack. 00:08:47.849 --> 00:08:51.750 So getting organized and putting procedures in place to help children 00:08:51.750 --> 00:08:54.180 be independent is the first step. 00:08:55.260 --> 00:09:01.349 Then number two is establishing those daily routines, and once again with this, 00:09:01.435 --> 00:09:06.060 I'm reminded of a time when my kids were little and also my time in the classroom. 00:09:06.720 --> 00:09:09.210 Routines are predictable things. 00:09:09.810 --> 00:09:12.180 They make children feel safe. 00:09:12.780 --> 00:09:16.680 If you've ever grown up in a house that was chaotic and did not have 00:09:16.680 --> 00:09:21.900 routines, you'll understand that feeling of having no control. 00:09:22.800 --> 00:09:27.930 I grew up with unpredictability, and even as I think about it now, a 00:09:27.930 --> 00:09:29.940 knot starts to form in my stomach. 00:09:30.825 --> 00:09:33.345 There is powerlessness in unpredictability. 00:09:33.765 --> 00:09:37.005 Maybe that's why I'm such a stickler for routine and boundaries with my 00:09:37.005 --> 00:09:43.335 own children, because I never wanted them to experience that anxiety when 00:09:43.335 --> 00:09:44.955 you don't know what's coming next. 00:09:46.455 --> 00:09:51.225 Routines, of course, are born also from being organized. 00:09:51.915 --> 00:09:54.720 Routines make life easier for everyone. 00:09:55.770 --> 00:09:59.460 For example, when my kids were little, every night looked the same. 00:09:59.580 --> 00:10:01.170 Sounds boring, but it worked. 00:10:01.710 --> 00:10:06.840 Dinner, then bath, bottle of milk with a story, then bed. 00:10:07.500 --> 00:10:10.950 Even when we traveled, that routine stayed fixed. 00:10:11.430 --> 00:10:14.790 There wasn't a fight to go to bed because they knew the routine. 00:10:15.570 --> 00:10:19.740 At school going age, they would come home from school, change out of their uniform, 00:10:19.800 --> 00:10:22.590 have a snack, then homework straight away. 00:10:23.130 --> 00:10:25.890 Then they could go and play or swim or whatever they wanted. 00:10:26.190 --> 00:10:31.230 And then again, it could be dinner, bath or shower, read a book, 00:10:31.500 --> 00:10:33.055 and then lights out for bedtime. 00:10:34.380 --> 00:10:37.440 Other things like providing them with a space where they can do their 00:10:37.440 --> 00:10:42.900 learning, A space where their supplies are kept easily and accessible, makes 00:10:42.900 --> 00:10:46.170 learning tasks and homework easier too. 00:10:47.040 --> 00:10:51.015 Once they finished their homework, they had to pack their backpacks, 00:10:51.015 --> 00:10:53.865 and they had to make sure they had everything ready for the next day. 00:10:54.780 --> 00:10:59.250 Doing these things the night before so that there wasn't a mad scramble 00:10:59.250 --> 00:11:04.410 in the morning, meant mornings were calm and that they knew what to do. 00:11:04.890 --> 00:11:09.420 And honestly, having these routines in place from when they were little, 00:11:10.050 --> 00:11:15.870 I can honestly say hands on my heart, I never once had to ask them or 00:11:15.900 --> 00:11:20.130 tell them to do their homework when they got to middle and high school. 00:11:20.835 --> 00:11:26.235 They already had that routine and that independence built in. 00:11:27.075 --> 00:11:30.135 So these are the key points for us to remember. 00:11:31.065 --> 00:11:32.115 Start simple. 00:11:32.385 --> 00:11:35.235 Put one routine or system in place at a time. 00:11:35.235 --> 00:11:38.625 Don't try and change everything all at once if you just starting out 00:11:38.685 --> 00:11:40.005 'cause that's gonna be overwhelming. 00:11:41.145 --> 00:11:47.355 Have visual tools available, things like schedule or checklists or routine cards up 00:11:47.355 --> 00:11:51.615 on your fridge or a notice board or in the bathroom on a mirror, whatever serves you. 00:11:52.965 --> 00:11:54.945 Next is the teaching process. 00:11:55.545 --> 00:11:59.625 You've gotta model it in your own life, show them how to do things, 00:11:59.805 --> 00:12:03.645 and then you do it together, and the next, you watch them do it, and then 00:12:03.735 --> 00:12:05.055 you let them do it on their own. 00:12:05.805 --> 00:12:08.805 This, by the way, is what is called explicit instruction. 00:12:09.450 --> 00:12:13.860 It's that I do, we do together, and then you do process. 00:12:14.610 --> 00:12:18.720 Next is create those routines, be it your morning routine, a homework 00:12:18.720 --> 00:12:23.220 routine, a reading routine, or a supply organization routine, whatever it is. 00:12:24.270 --> 00:12:26.610 Number three is giving children some agency. 00:12:27.360 --> 00:12:32.580 Now, agency is the ability for children to make their own choices, for them to 00:12:32.580 --> 00:12:34.800 have some influence over their world. 00:12:35.610 --> 00:12:38.850 Agency doesn't mean letting children have free range to do 00:12:38.850 --> 00:12:41.250 whatever and whenever they like. 00:12:41.850 --> 00:12:46.650 Agency doesn't mean taking your child to the supermarket and letting them 00:12:46.650 --> 00:12:48.360 choose whichever cereal they want. 00:12:49.020 --> 00:12:53.400 That's you not taking your role as parent and guide seriously 'cause children 00:12:53.700 --> 00:12:57.870 don't know anything about what's good for them and what's not good for them 00:12:58.510 --> 00:12:59.800 in terms of nutrition. 00:12:59.890 --> 00:13:01.540 They don't know how to read labels. 00:13:02.470 --> 00:13:05.440 They don't know about colorants and e numbers and preservatives and 00:13:05.440 --> 00:13:07.030 nitrates that aren't good for them. 00:13:07.420 --> 00:13:09.670 Not unless you first teach them these things. 00:13:09.670 --> 00:13:12.490 And then that comes back down to you modeling that. 00:13:13.120 --> 00:13:16.840 Teach them about what good food is, how to read labels. 00:13:17.245 --> 00:13:17.905 Et cetera. 00:13:18.385 --> 00:13:22.075 And then when they know that, then they can start making some 00:13:22.075 --> 00:13:24.025 decent food choices for themselves. 00:13:24.745 --> 00:13:27.355 And by the way, I have never given my children a choice 00:13:27.355 --> 00:13:28.465 of what they want to eat. 00:13:29.605 --> 00:13:31.915 I cook a family meal and they eat. 00:13:32.155 --> 00:13:32.755 That's it. 00:13:32.815 --> 00:13:35.035 There was never any separate food. 00:13:35.245 --> 00:13:39.505 They ate what we ate, obviously, when they were little, I made adjustments. 00:13:39.505 --> 00:13:41.905 You don't add salt or make food spicy. 00:13:42.565 --> 00:13:45.175 Uh, we put your own salt on your food, on your plate. 00:13:45.625 --> 00:13:52.765 Little adjustments like that when little adjustments like that to accommodate small 00:13:52.765 --> 00:13:57.415 children, you know, when they're starting to eat solids or sharing meal times. 00:13:57.805 --> 00:14:00.095 Giving children some agency in their learning 00:14:00.095 --> 00:14:02.485 however is a very good thing. 00:14:03.125 --> 00:14:06.295 Let them choose the book you're going to read as their bedtime 00:14:06.295 --> 00:14:10.555 story when you're learning about a particular theme, for example, sea 00:14:10.555 --> 00:14:14.305 creatures or animals, let them choose the animal they want to research. 00:14:14.755 --> 00:14:19.375 It's a far richer experience when children are researching their 00:14:19.405 --> 00:14:24.895 own topic of interest than all the children researching the same thing. 00:14:26.545 --> 00:14:29.870 Also give them a choice in how they will present their knowledge. 00:14:30.805 --> 00:14:36.655 Sometimes you want them to write a report because perhaps you've been teaching 00:14:36.655 --> 00:14:42.805 them how to do report writing, but then also allow them to present what 00:14:42.805 --> 00:14:44.815 they've learned in a way that they like. 00:14:45.175 --> 00:14:50.935 Perhaps they want to create a poster or create a PowerPoint presentation, 00:14:51.235 --> 00:14:52.180 or they wanna make a movie. 00:14:53.260 --> 00:14:58.030 Giving them these choices makes them feel like they have some 00:14:58.030 --> 00:15:02.350 control over their learning, and it puts some power into their hands. 00:15:03.040 --> 00:15:08.950 Every time I have allowed children to learn and do research in this way, I 00:15:08.950 --> 00:15:14.560 have been blown away by the learning and what children are capable of when 00:15:14.560 --> 00:15:17.050 you give them an opportunity like this. 00:15:18.025 --> 00:15:23.785 This allows children that may not be that capable in writing to present their 00:15:23.785 --> 00:15:26.815 knowledge in a way that they can showcase 00:15:26.815 --> 00:15:31.615 their talents, but it's an alternative medium that supports their strengths. 00:15:32.095 --> 00:15:36.595 At the end of the day isn't that what learning should be about making learning 00:15:36.595 --> 00:15:38.935 irresistible instead of just a chore? 00:15:39.910 --> 00:15:42.190 So key points for nurturing children's agency. 00:15:42.190 --> 00:15:43.150 Let's go over them. 00:15:43.960 --> 00:15:46.090 Giving them a choice within a structure. 00:15:46.780 --> 00:15:48.910 For example, we are learning about mammals. 00:15:49.270 --> 00:15:52.330 You can choose whichever mammal you would like to learn about, 00:15:52.870 --> 00:15:54.790 not do whatever you want. 00:15:55.870 --> 00:16:01.870 Look at where choices fit naturally, maybe reading selections or writing 00:16:01.870 --> 00:16:03.785 topics, or hands-on activities. 00:16:04.885 --> 00:16:07.915 Next is teaching decision making skills. 00:16:07.974 --> 00:16:12.595 Help them think through choices so that they can make good choices, not 00:16:12.595 --> 00:16:17.185 just pick randomly for no reason or just because something looks good or 00:16:17.185 --> 00:16:19.015 because everyone else is doing it. 00:16:20.185 --> 00:16:24.805 You also need to have a balance between what is required work or required 00:16:24.805 --> 00:16:27.745 tasks and things they can choose. 00:16:28.780 --> 00:16:32.560 Giving children a choice actually reduces resistance and 00:16:32.560 --> 00:16:34.840 makes success more attainable. 00:16:36.280 --> 00:16:37.210 Here's number four. 00:16:37.630 --> 00:16:43.240 It's teaching self-direction and you do this one step at a time. 00:16:43.810 --> 00:16:47.050 Working or playing independently doesn't just happen overnight. 00:16:47.590 --> 00:16:51.670 Like I said in the beginning, it needs some kind of strategy and organization 00:16:51.910 --> 00:16:54.100 to help children become more independent. 00:16:54.625 --> 00:16:58.945 Whether it's them helping make a sandwich alongside you so that they 00:16:58.945 --> 00:17:04.645 can eventually do it on their own or using a checklist that they need to work 00:17:04.645 --> 00:17:09.265 through when they're doing something before they immediately call for help. 00:17:09.955 --> 00:17:11.545 Children don't know what they don't know. 00:17:12.565 --> 00:17:17.875 We need to tell them and we need to show them how to do things. 00:17:19.015 --> 00:17:22.225 We need to tell them and show them what we expect from them. 00:17:22.825 --> 00:17:27.355 And we also have to repeat it a hundred times because they're not 00:17:27.355 --> 00:17:28.945 going to get it in the first time. 00:17:29.395 --> 00:17:31.345 Like anything, it takes practice. 00:17:32.185 --> 00:17:33.235 These are the key points. 00:17:35.110 --> 00:17:37.540 Self-direction develops gradually. 00:17:37.570 --> 00:17:40.030 So start with short independent tasks. 00:17:40.660 --> 00:17:42.190 Use tools that can help you. 00:17:42.190 --> 00:17:42.820 Anything. 00:17:42.970 --> 00:17:47.830 It could be a timer, it could be ask three before me rule, it can be an anchor 00:17:47.830 --> 00:17:52.570 chart on the wall, it can be a word bank, a number line, counters, whatever 00:17:52.570 --> 00:17:57.345 it takes to help children figure things out on their own before they ask you. 00:17:58.615 --> 00:18:03.025 And of course you have to make sure they understand how to use those tools. 00:18:03.235 --> 00:18:06.535 You can't just put up a word bank and expect them to use it. 00:18:07.045 --> 00:18:09.265 You need to model how to use it first. 00:18:09.265 --> 00:18:14.455 And sometimes you'll need to model things many, many times before they can do 00:18:14.455 --> 00:18:17.185 things independently and by themselves. 00:18:18.565 --> 00:18:24.205 Teaching them to problem solve with questions like, what have you tried? 00:18:24.625 --> 00:18:26.005 What could you try next? 00:18:26.365 --> 00:18:27.140 Where could you look? 00:18:28.090 --> 00:18:31.225 Ask those questions so that they can start that thinking process. 00:18:32.885 --> 00:18:37.300 And then of course we have the art of not rescuing too quickly. 00:18:37.840 --> 00:18:41.140 Giving them that space to struggle productively. 00:18:41.830 --> 00:18:44.830 This doesn't mean that you never help. 00:18:45.130 --> 00:18:48.760 It doesn't mean that you just let them struggle and never step in. 00:18:49.150 --> 00:18:53.920 It means you watch and you listen and you encourage, and then you step 00:18:53.920 --> 00:18:57.700 in when you see that they are really finding things impossible on their own. 00:18:59.170 --> 00:19:03.190 But watch for learned helplessness because if you're always stepping in 00:19:03.190 --> 00:19:07.990 to rescue them, they learn very quickly that you will always bail them out. 00:19:08.800 --> 00:19:13.780 Rescuing in this instance is not helping their independence or 00:19:13.780 --> 00:19:15.430 their growth in the long run. 00:19:17.200 --> 00:19:23.140 And lastly, learn how to conference with your child in ways that coach 00:19:23.320 --> 00:19:25.150 rather than just give answers. 00:19:25.555 --> 00:19:28.645 This is very much like a teacher would give feedback. 00:19:29.215 --> 00:19:33.565 You're talking through the problem, you're looking at ways to solve 00:19:33.565 --> 00:19:37.615 it, and you're asking what they can do differently next time. 00:19:38.215 --> 00:19:43.435 And this is what developing independence and problem solving is all about. 00:19:45.140 --> 00:19:49.370 When we teach our children to be independent learners we're not just 00:19:49.370 --> 00:19:54.140 making our homes and our teaching days run smoother, though that's the 00:19:54.140 --> 00:19:58.460 real benefit, of course, but we're teaching them to trust themselves, 00:19:58.865 --> 00:20:04.295 to persevere through challenges and to take ownership of their own growth. 00:20:04.895 --> 00:20:08.585 These early years, these primary years, this is your chance 00:20:08.585 --> 00:20:10.535 to build this foundation. 00:20:11.045 --> 00:20:14.255 Yes, it takes intentional effort upfront. 00:20:14.615 --> 00:20:19.475 Yes some days you'll want to just give them all the answers because it's faster. 00:20:20.285 --> 00:20:22.985 But the 7-year-old who learns to try 00:20:23.360 --> 00:20:27.500 before asking, becomes the 12-year-old who can manage their 00:20:27.500 --> 00:20:32.600 own work, and eventually the adult who knows how to figure things out. 00:20:33.440 --> 00:20:35.315 You're not just teaching reading and math. 00:20:36.230 --> 00:20:42.650 You're shaping how children see themselves as learners and how they are eventually 00:20:42.830 --> 00:20:45.710 going to be able to navigate adult life. 00:20:46.460 --> 00:20:50.270 If you're thinking, yes, I want this, but I need practical help 00:20:50.270 --> 00:20:51.770 and support to make this happen. 00:20:53.005 --> 00:20:54.565 Well, I'd love to support you. 00:20:55.015 --> 00:21:00.475 I send out a weekly newsletter called Get Curious with real strategies 00:21:00.475 --> 00:21:04.285 and ideas and encouragement for parents and homeschool parents who 00:21:04.285 --> 00:21:08.995 want to build more independent, capable, and curious learners. 00:21:09.715 --> 00:21:13.915 I leave a link for you in the show notes, so you can just click there and 00:21:13.915 --> 00:21:15.925 sign up to get the weekly newsletter. 00:21:17.195 --> 00:21:18.785 Listen, thanks for listening today. 00:21:19.145 --> 00:21:23.495 I hope you found some value in today's episode, and if you did, please click 00:21:23.495 --> 00:21:26.135 that share button and send it to a friend. 00:21:26.945 --> 00:21:31.235 That's one of the best ways to spread the word and get more 00:21:31.235 --> 00:21:33.455 people listening to this podcast. 00:21:34.085 --> 00:21:37.295 Until next week, take care of yourself and stay blooming. 00:21:37.295 --> 00:21:37.865 Curious.