In today's episode, we're going to talk about what happens when your
child says those dreaded words.
This is boring.
So maybe you've stayed up late, you've carefully planned a lesson,
you gathered all your materials, you're thinking through activities,
and you feel genuinely excited.
And 15 minutes into the lesson, the child says this.
It's boring or they don't say anything.
They just start fidgeting.
They stare out of the window and they ask you for the fifth time, can I go play?
Now, whether you are a parent educator or a classroom
educator, you know this moment.
It's deflating, but here's what I want you to know, I'm bored,
isn't really about boredom.
It's about communication, and once you learn to decode what a child is
actually saying, you can respond in ways that strengthen their learning
instead of just trying to entertain them.
Today we're going cover the real reasons behind boredom, how to diagnose
what's happening, and practical ways to respond in the moment.
Now, not all boredom is the same.
Research from educational psychology actually identifies different types and
each one signals something different.
Type one is when things are too easy.
This happens when your child already knows the material.
Think about a child who understands addition.
For example, but it's being asked to complete thirty identical problems.
That's not learning, that's just filling time.
Researcher Reinhardt Pekrun's work shows that when students perceive an
activity's lacking in challenge, they simply check out 'cause their brain
isn't being asked to do anything.
What it looks like is they finish quickly and sloppily.
They can answer correctly, but they seem uninterested.
Or they say, I already know this.
The second type is when things are too hard.
The opposite problem is when the task is beyond their current
ability and they don't have enough support to bridge that gap.
Vygotsky called this working outside the zone of proximal development.
That's that sweet spot where something is challenging, but achievable with guidance.
When children consistently work beyond this zone, they eventually stop trying.
They say I'm bored, but what they actually mean is I don't understand
and I don't know how to tell you that.
What it looks like,
is generally avoidance or shutting down quickly, or a disproportionate
frustration, or I can't do this, followed by, this is boring.
The third type is no personal relevance.
This happens when the content doesn't connect to anything
the child is interested in.
In their world, it might be appropriately leveled, but it feels
abstract and meaningless to them.
The National Research Council reviewed extensive motivation research and
concluded that instructional programs need to be relevant, but they also need
to build on students' personal experiences and more recent research confirms us.
When students can identify why content is relevant to them, they find assignments
more meaningful and they show higher levels of motivation and engagement.
In other words, when children can't answer, why does this
matter to me, engagement drops, and this is true for us too.
Learning has to be meaningful.
And what this looks like is compliance without curiosity,
forgetting information quickly, or asking why do I need to know this?
Type four is when things are too passive.
This comes from being a passive recipient of information rather
than an active participant.
Think about the difference between listening to someone explain how magnets
work versus actually playing with magnets to discover it for yourself.
Research on active learning shows that when students construct their
own understanding through doing and problem solving, they retain
more and they engage more deeply.
Early childhood practitioners know this.
Nothing beats hands-on learning experiences where children
can experience the learning.
And what does this look like?
Glazed expressions during explanations, and they perk up only when they get to
do something, or they're disengaged.
While you're talking.
Let's do a quick diagnosis.
The child says they're bored before you change anything.
Pause and ask yourself, is it too easy?
Can they already do this without too much thought?
Are they rushing through just to be done?
Is it too hard?
Are they missing prerequisite knowledge . When you offer to help, can they
do it or are they still struggling?
Does it connect to their world?
Can the child tell you why this matters?
And have you made connections to things that they care about?
Are they actively involved?
How much have I been talking versus them doing, and when was the last time they got
to figure something out for themselves?
You won't always know the answer immediately, and that's okay, but taking
just those few seconds to consider these questions will help you respond more
effectively than just trying to make things more fun or more interesting.
'cause here's the thing, learning is often hard and it can't always be fun.
To take time to consider these questions before you throw out
the baby and the bath water.
Sometimes what sounds like I'm bored actually just means this is
challenging and I'm uncomfortable.
Children who haven't struggled much academically sometimes also lack the
vocabulary to distinguish between boredom and discomfort or productive struggle.
Research on growth mindset shows that when children hit something
genuinely difficult, they actually retreat to familiar complaints
or familiar problems, and here's how you can tell the difference.
Actual boredom is low energy, checking out, they can do the
work, but they don't want to.
Disguised struggle is an emotional response that seems way bigger than
it's warranted, and they criticize, but they can't articulate exactly
why they're bored and they'll engage enthusiastically about things that
are easier on the same subject.
And if you suspect it's challenge related discomfort, name it.
Listen, I'm noticing that this is hard, and sometimes when things
are hard, they don't feel fun.
That doesn't mean we should stop.
It means your brain is actually growing right now.
And when we think about learning and what's happening in the brain, learning
happens when we struggle.
New neural pathways are formed when we try and figure new things out when we're
giving difficult problems to solve.
So it's important that we help our children embrace
challenges and not give up.
That's where that grit and resilience comes in as well.
Now, let's look at some quick pivots.
If your child is disengaged right now, what can you actually do?
If you've determined that it's too easy at complexity, you've got the
basic idea, now maybe can you explain to me how it works or can you create
a problem that would be tricky?
You can also accelerate skip ahead.
You don't need to finish every single problem.
You can also ask them to teach.
Ask them to explain the concept to a sibling or a stuffed animal or to you.
And if it's too hard, narrow the scope.
Break the task into smaller pieces, and you just do one part at a time.
You can also add scaffolding.
Go through an example together first, provide visual prompts and hands-on
manipulatives, like counters, for example.
Sometimes you have to revisit the foundational concepts.
You've gotta teach those basics again because perhaps they've missed
something and that's not failing as a teacher, that's responsive teaching.
If it lacks connection, find a bridge.
Take something they're interested in and figure out how it relates.
Use real application, embed the skill in something practical they need to do.
So, for example, if you're learning about fractions, instead of filling in
a worksheet, make a sandwich, cut it into quarters or halves or eighths, and
let them notice that the more pieces you cut the sandwich into, the smaller
each section or each fraction becomes.
Let them choose the context sometimes.
If they need to practice, um, persuasive writing, let them
choose what to persuade you about.
Is there something they feel strongly about?
If it's too passive, try shift to doing.
Put down the worksheets.
Pull out the manipulatives.
Go outside, build something.
Let them do the learning.
And ask instead of tell, replace your explanation with questions
that guide their discovery.
Or ask them to think of three questions they can ask you about the topic.
Also, give choices, even small ones, restore their agency.
Which topic do they wanna start with?
What method do they wanna work with?
These pivots aren't about making learning fun.
They are about removing barriers to engagement.
Help your child to communicate what they actually need.
Instead of just saying, I'm bored.
And when the child says they're bored, respond with, listen, I
wanna understand what's happening.
Can you help me to try and figure it out?
Does this thing feel too easy for you?
Like you already know how to do it?
Or does it feel too hard?
Like you're not sure what to do next?
Are you understanding but not sure why it matters, or are you
wanting to do something with your hands instead of just listening?
You are teaching them vocabulary to identify what's actually going on,
and over time you're coaching them to recognize patterns for themselves.
Last time you felt this way, it was because that activity was too easy.
Does this feel the same or does it feel different?
This way, you're helping your child not just to solve an immediate
problem, but you're teaching them how to articulate what they're feeling
and you're giving them those skills that they're going to need for life.
But here's something else.
Sometimes boredom doesn't need and shouldn't be fixed.
Research on mind wandering and creativity shows that unstructured mental time.
Yes, that means boredom can lead to enhanced problem solving
and imaginative thinking.
If your child complains of boredom during genuine free time or after
completing work, resist that urge to immediately fill the space.
You might rather say, I hear you, but what could you do with this time?
Or.
Boredom sometimes means your brain's getting ready to come up with something
really interesting and I can't wait to see what you come up with.
We need to make a distinction.
Boredom during learning usually signals a mismatch that we should address,
but boredom during unstructured free time is an opportunity for
them to practice self-direction for them to entertain themselves.
What's that saying about boredom?
It's a mother of invention.
We cannot possibly be entertaining our children 100% of the time.
They have to learn to fill that quiet space with something themselves.
And I think that too often we overschedule children and we give
them no time or space to be bored.
And if we don't give them that time or space, how will they ever learn
to be able to deal with quiet time or to figure things out for themselves?
So the next time your child says, this is so boring, they're giving you information.
Your job isn't to panic and immediately entertain them and hand them a device.
Your job is to investigate and respond to the real need.
So here's a framework just to recap.
One is, identify the type.
Is it too easy, too hard?
Are they disconnected?
Is it too passive?
Two, diagnose before changing.
Think what's happening through first before you do anything.
Three.
Distinguish boredom from discomfort.
Sometimes boring means challenging.
Four, make targeted adjustments.
Address that actual barrier.
Five, recognize productive boredom.
Some boredom is developmental.
Six, teach better communication and help them to develop the language
of what they're experiencing.
The goal isn't to eliminate boredom.
The goal is to create conditions where your child can engage deeply, where
challenge feels manageable, and where they develop the skills to understand
and communicate their own needs.
I hope you find this episode helpful today, and if you did, please do me the
honor of sharing it with someone that you think will find it helpful too.
And if you want more tips like this, I have a weekly newsletter that goes out.
It's called Get Curious to My Subscribers, where I give you
weekly tips and inspiration around
helping your children and nurturing that curiosity.
And if you want that, please sign up to the Get Curious Newsletter.
I'll leave a link for you to do that in the show notes.
So thanks so much for listening, and until next time, stay blooming curious.