WEBVTT

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In today's episode, we're going to
talk about what happens when your

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child says those dreaded words.

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This is boring.

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So maybe you've stayed up late,
you've carefully planned a lesson,

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you gathered all your materials,
you're thinking through activities,

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and you feel genuinely excited.

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And 15 minutes into the
lesson, the child says this.

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It's boring or they don't say anything.

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They just start fidgeting.

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They stare out of the window and they ask
you for the fifth time, can I go play?

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Now, whether you are a parent
educator or a classroom

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educator, you know this moment.

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It's deflating, but here's what
I want you to know, I'm bored,

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isn't really about boredom.

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It's about communication, and once
you learn to decode what a child is

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actually saying, you can respond in
ways that strengthen their learning

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instead of just trying to entertain them.

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Today we're going cover the real
reasons behind boredom, how to diagnose

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what's happening, and practical
ways to respond in the moment.

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Now, not all boredom is the same.

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Research from educational psychology
actually identifies different types and

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each one signals something different.

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Type one is when things are too easy.

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This happens when your child
already knows the material.

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Think about a child who
understands addition.

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For example, but it's being asked to
complete thirty identical problems.

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That's not learning,
that's just filling time.

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Researcher Reinhardt Pekrun's work
shows that when students perceive an

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activity's lacking in challenge, they
simply check out 'cause their brain

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isn't being asked to do anything.

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What it looks like is they
finish quickly and sloppily.

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They can answer correctly,
but they seem uninterested.

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Or they say, I already know this.

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The second type is when
things are too hard.

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The opposite problem is when
the task is beyond their current

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ability and they don't have
enough support to bridge that gap.

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Vygotsky called this working outside
the zone of proximal development.

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That's that sweet spot where something is
challenging, but achievable with guidance.

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When children consistently work beyond
this zone, they eventually stop trying.

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They say I'm bored, but what they
actually mean is I don't understand

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and I don't know how to tell you that.

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What it looks like,

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is generally avoidance or shutting
down quickly, or a disproportionate

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frustration, or I can't do this,
followed by, this is boring.

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The third type is no personal relevance.

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This happens when the content
doesn't connect to anything

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the child is interested in.

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In their world, it might be
appropriately leveled, but it feels

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abstract and meaningless to them.

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The National Research Council reviewed
extensive motivation research and

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concluded that instructional programs
need to be relevant, but they also need

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to build on students' personal experiences
and more recent research confirms us.

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When students can identify why content is
relevant to them, they find assignments

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more meaningful and they show higher
levels of motivation and engagement.

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In other words, when children
can't answer, why does this

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matter to me, engagement drops,
and this is true for us too.

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Learning has to be meaningful.

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And what this looks like is
compliance without curiosity,

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forgetting information quickly, or
asking why do I need to know this?

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Type four is when things are too passive.

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This comes from being a passive
recipient of information rather

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than an active participant.

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Think about the difference between
listening to someone explain how magnets

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work versus actually playing with
magnets to discover it for yourself.

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Research on active learning shows
that when students construct their

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own understanding through doing
and problem solving, they retain

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more and they engage more deeply.

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Early childhood practitioners know this.

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Nothing beats hands-on learning
experiences where children

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can experience the learning.

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And what does this look like?

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Glazed expressions during explanations,
and they perk up only when they get to

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do something, or they're disengaged.

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While you're talking.

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Let's do a quick diagnosis.

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The child says they're bored
before you change anything.

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Pause and ask yourself, is it too easy?

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Can they already do this
without too much thought?

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Are they rushing through just to be done?

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Is it too hard?

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Are they missing prerequisite knowledge
. When you offer to help, can they

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do it or are they still struggling?

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Does it connect to their world?

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Can the child tell you why this matters?

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And have you made connections
to things that they care about?

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Are they actively involved?

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How much have I been talking versus them
doing, and when was the last time they got

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to figure something out for themselves?

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You won't always know the answer
immediately, and that's okay, but taking

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just those few seconds to consider these
questions will help you respond more

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effectively than just trying to make
things more fun or more interesting.

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'cause here's the thing, learning is
often hard and it can't always be fun.

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To take time to consider these
questions before you throw out

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the baby and the bath water.

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Sometimes what sounds like I'm
bored actually just means this is

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challenging and I'm uncomfortable.

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Children who haven't struggled much
academically sometimes also lack the

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vocabulary to distinguish between boredom
and discomfort or productive struggle.

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Research on growth mindset shows
that when children hit something

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genuinely difficult, they actually
retreat to familiar complaints

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or familiar problems, and here's
how you can tell the difference.

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Actual boredom is low energy,
checking out, they can do the

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work, but they don't want to.

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Disguised struggle is an emotional
response that seems way bigger than

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it's warranted, and they criticize,
but they can't articulate exactly

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why they're bored and they'll engage
enthusiastically about things that

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are easier on the same subject.

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And if you suspect it's challenge
related discomfort, name it.

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Listen, I'm noticing that this is
hard, and sometimes when things

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are hard, they don't feel fun.

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That doesn't mean we should stop.

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It means your brain is
actually growing right now.

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And when we think about learning and
what's happening in the brain, learning

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happens when we struggle.

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New neural pathways are formed when we
try and figure new things out when we're

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giving difficult problems to solve.

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So it's important that we
help our children embrace

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challenges and not give up.

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That's where that grit and
resilience comes in as well.

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Now, let's look at some quick pivots.

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If your child is disengaged right
now, what can you actually do?

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If you've determined that it's too
easy at complexity, you've got the

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basic idea, now maybe can you explain
to me how it works or can you create

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a problem that would be tricky?

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You can also accelerate skip ahead.

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You don't need to finish
every single problem.

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You can also ask them to teach.

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Ask them to explain the concept to a
sibling or a stuffed animal or to you.

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And if it's too hard, narrow the scope.

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Break the task into smaller pieces,
and you just do one part at a time.

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You can also add scaffolding.

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Go through an example together first,
provide visual prompts and hands-on

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manipulatives, like counters, for example.

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Sometimes you have to revisit
the foundational concepts.

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You've gotta teach those basics
again because perhaps they've missed

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something and that's not failing as a
teacher, that's responsive teaching.

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If it lacks connection, find a bridge.

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Take something they're interested
in and figure out how it relates.

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Use real application, embed the skill
in something practical they need to do.

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So, for example, if you're learning
about fractions, instead of filling in

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a worksheet, make a sandwich, cut it
into quarters or halves or eighths, and

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let them notice that the more pieces
you cut the sandwich into, the smaller

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each section or each fraction becomes.

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Let them choose the context sometimes.

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If they need to practice, um,
persuasive writing, let them

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choose what to persuade you about.

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Is there something they
feel strongly about?

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If it's too passive, try shift to doing.

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Put down the worksheets.

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Pull out the manipulatives.

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Go outside, build something.

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Let them do the learning.

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And ask instead of tell, replace
your explanation with questions

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that guide their discovery.

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Or ask them to think of three questions
they can ask you about the topic.

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Also, give choices, even small
ones, restore their agency.

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Which topic do they wanna start with?

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What method do they wanna work with?

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These pivots aren't about
making learning fun.

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They are about removing
barriers to engagement.

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Help your child to communicate
what they actually need.

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Instead of just saying, I'm bored.

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And when the child says they're
bored, respond with, listen, I

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wanna understand what's happening.

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Can you help me to try and figure it out?

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Does this thing feel too easy for you?

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Like you already know how to do it?

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Or does it feel too hard?

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Like you're not sure what to do next?

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Are you understanding but not
sure why it matters, or are you

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wanting to do something with your
hands instead of just listening?

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You are teaching them vocabulary to
identify what's actually going on,

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and over time you're coaching them
to recognize patterns for themselves.

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Last time you felt this way, it was
because that activity was too easy.

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Does this feel the same
or does it feel different?

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This way, you're helping your child
not just to solve an immediate

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problem, but you're teaching them how
to articulate what they're feeling

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and you're giving them those skills
that they're going to need for life.

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But here's something else.

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Sometimes boredom doesn't
need and shouldn't be fixed.

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Research on mind wandering and creativity
shows that unstructured mental time.

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Yes, that means boredom can
lead to enhanced problem solving

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and imaginative thinking.

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If your child complains of boredom
during genuine free time or after

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completing work, resist that urge
to immediately fill the space.

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You might rather say, I hear you,
but what could you do with this time?

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Or.

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Boredom sometimes means your brain's
getting ready to come up with something

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really interesting and I can't
wait to see what you come up with.

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We need to make a distinction.

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Boredom during learning usually signals
a mismatch that we should address,

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but boredom during unstructured
free time is an opportunity for

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them to practice self-direction
for them to entertain themselves.

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What's that saying about boredom?

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It's a mother of invention.

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We cannot possibly be entertaining
our children 100% of the time.

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They have to learn to fill that quiet
space with something themselves.

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And I think that too often we
overschedule children and we give

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them no time or space to be bored.

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And if we don't give them that time
or space, how will they ever learn

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to be able to deal with quiet time or
to figure things out for themselves?

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So the next time your child says, this is
so boring, they're giving you information.

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Your job isn't to panic and immediately
entertain them and hand them a device.

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Your job is to investigate
and respond to the real need.

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So here's a framework just to recap.

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One is, identify the type.

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Is it too easy, too hard?

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Are they disconnected?

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Is it too passive?

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Two, diagnose before changing.

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Think what's happening through
first before you do anything.

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Three.

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Distinguish boredom from discomfort.

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Sometimes boring means challenging.

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Four, make targeted adjustments.

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Address that actual barrier.

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Five, recognize productive boredom.

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Some boredom is developmental.

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Six, teach better communication and
help them to develop the language

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of what they're experiencing.

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The goal isn't to eliminate boredom.

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The goal is to create conditions where
your child can engage deeply, where

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challenge feels manageable, and where
they develop the skills to understand

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and communicate their own needs.

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I hope you find this episode helpful
today, and if you did, please do me the

00:13:56.730 --> 00:14:00.300
honor of sharing it with someone that
you think will find it helpful too.

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And if you want more tips like this, I
have a weekly newsletter that goes out.

00:14:06.420 --> 00:14:09.930
It's called Get Curious to My
Subscribers, where I give you

00:14:09.930 --> 00:14:12.360
weekly tips and inspiration around

00:14:13.155 --> 00:14:16.245
helping your children and
nurturing that curiosity.

00:14:16.275 --> 00:14:19.785
And if you want that, please sign
up to the Get Curious Newsletter.

00:14:19.785 --> 00:14:22.605
I'll leave a link for you to
do that in the show notes.

00:14:22.905 --> 00:14:26.745
So thanks so much for listening, and
until next time, stay blooming curious.