TOM KITELEY (as Aneurin): Umm… What in the world brings you to Ashmourn?
*Crash of a door breaking. Alaria pants, monster gargles*
CAITLIN O’DONNELL (as Alaria): Just… travelling.
ANEURIN: Just travelling?
ALARIA: Travelling and…researching… *More heavy breathing from Alaria*
ANEURIN: Look, I’m… I’m sorry, I’m being way too /nosy…
ALARIA: Why are you surprised that anyone would visit here?
*Thwack of object hitting flesh at speed. Sounds of pain from Alaria and Aneurin. Magic sounds and more monster gargles*
ANEURIN (in background): Oh gods…
ANEURIN: It happens less often than you think (laughs).
ALARIA: Old town. By the…you know, on the moors. ‘s a lot going on.
ANEURIN: There is a lot going on and that’s precisely why it’s not a popular tourist destination.
ALARIA: Well, you’re local.
ANEURIN: Yeah.
ALARIA: Fill me in. (Clock begins ticking) What’s there to know?
ANEURIN: Pffff… What isn’t there to know?
*Music plays under various sounds of thwacks, objects swinging, hitting flesh, and pain sounds from many characters*
*Screams and panting from unknown characters*
BROOKE CAMILLERI AGIUS (as Ahanu): Get back! (angry rage panting and growling)
ELLIOTT SAMUELS (as Solomon): Very good! *Yet more monster sounds!*
ANEURIN: (laughs)
ELLIOTT SAMUELS (as Drunken Dwarf): ‘ello there! I’ve come back for more!
CHRISTOPHER WAREHAM (as Ludwig): I knew you were a rotten monster!
ELLIOTT (as Drunk Gnome): Ooo! Sorry Terry.
SOLOMON: Spiritual Weapon!
*Undiscernible roar*
CHRISTOPHER WAREHAM (as Gamemaster): Give me a d3. And you don’t want to roll 1 on this…
*Music ramps up*
ALARIA: (heavy breathing) Shit. Shit! SHIT!!