1 00:00:12,650 --> 00:00:15,029 Speaker: Welcome back to tongue first, 2 00:00:15,029 --> 00:00:17,969 Speaker: the Queer curiosity podcast with 3 00:00:17,969 --> 00:00:18,649 Speaker: a bite. 4 00:00:18,649 --> 00:00:20,850 Speaker: Before we dive into today's 5 00:00:20,850 --> 00:00:22,969 Speaker: episode, go ahead and tap 6 00:00:22,969 --> 00:00:23,769 Speaker: follow. 7 00:00:23,769 --> 00:00:25,769 Speaker: Hit subscribe and leave us a 8 00:00:25,769 --> 00:00:27,010 Speaker: review wherever you're 9 00:00:27,010 --> 00:00:27,769 Speaker: listening. 10 00:00:27,769 --> 00:00:32,369 Speaker: It truly helps our little corner of the internet grow. 11 00:00:32,369 --> 00:00:34,770 Speaker: In this episode, Siren and Wendy 12 00:00:34,770 --> 00:00:36,969 Speaker: are taking you tongue first into 13 00:00:36,969 --> 00:00:39,240 Speaker: the tender, Terrifying and 14 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,399 Speaker: triumphant world of gender 15 00:00:41,399 --> 00:00:42,679 Speaker: awakenings. 16 00:00:42,679 --> 00:00:46,520 Speaker: Those tiny cracks of truth that split open the closet door and 17 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,640 Speaker: let the light pour in. 18 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:50,719 Speaker: They're also sharing your queer 19 00:00:50,719 --> 00:00:53,320 Speaker: epiphany stories, the ones that 20 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,460 Speaker: made your baby gay brain say, 21 00:00:55,460 --> 00:00:56,159 Speaker: oh! 22 00:00:58,479 --> 00:01:02,000 Speaker: And in the final course, they get vulnerable about what 23 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:06,200 Speaker: happens when queer love meets parent life, the courage it 24 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,959 Speaker: takes to bring a new partner into your kid's world, and the 25 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:13,760 Speaker: beauty of showing up as your full, authentic self. 26 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:18,159 Speaker: Because here at Tongue First, we believe in asking the messy 27 00:01:18,159 --> 00:01:23,079 Speaker: questions, speaking the tender truths, and that curiosity is 28 00:01:23,079 --> 00:01:25,560 Speaker: sexy and consent is hotter. 29 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:27,719 Speaker: let's get into the episode. 30 00:01:32,536 --> 00:01:33,956 Siren: Welcome back to Tongue First, 31 00:01:33,956 --> 00:01:35,816 Siren: the podcast where we taste test 32 00:01:35,816 --> 00:01:36,695 Siren: queer life. 33 00:01:36,695 --> 00:01:40,016 Siren: One messy, delicious bite at a time. 34 00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:42,335 Siren: I'm siren and my pronouns are she her. 35 00:01:42,135 --> 00:01:45,975 Wendy: And I'm Wendy and my pronouns are she her and bad bitch. 36 00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:47,016 Wendy: And hey. 37 00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:49,775 Siren: I think we should keep it with that extra. 38 00:01:49,775 --> 00:01:52,456 Siren: I like adding that extra bad bitch part. 39 00:01:52,376 --> 00:01:53,775 Wendy: The bad bitch. 40 00:01:53,775 --> 00:01:56,816 Wendy: And we are live on TikTok right now, so if you're listening to 41 00:01:56,816 --> 00:02:00,575 Wendy: this later, make sure you catch the chaos live next time. 42 00:02:01,016 --> 00:02:02,656 Siren: Today we're diving into those 43 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,016 Siren: moments that cracked open our 44 00:02:05,016 --> 00:02:06,215 Siren: closets. 45 00:02:06,135 --> 00:02:09,015 Wendy: Yep, we're talking gender 46 00:02:09,015 --> 00:02:12,716 Wendy: awakening with plural with yeah, 47 00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:14,575 Wendy: plural awakenings. 48 00:02:14,575 --> 00:02:17,776 Wendy: From early inklings of identity 49 00:02:17,776 --> 00:02:19,536 Wendy: to the moments we finally saw 50 00:02:19,536 --> 00:02:20,656 Wendy: ourselves clearly. 51 00:02:20,656 --> 00:02:25,355 Wendy: We're also going to share your queer epiphanies that y'all sent 52 00:02:25,355 --> 00:02:27,056 Wendy: it to us earlier this week. 53 00:02:26,895 --> 00:02:28,936 Siren: Yeah, I'm so excited to share them with you. 54 00:02:28,936 --> 00:02:32,735 Siren: Lots of those moments that made you say, oh, yeah, I'm 55 00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:34,936 Siren: definitely not straight, am I? 56 00:02:35,975 --> 00:02:39,376 Wendy: And later we'll get real about what happens when queer love 57 00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:41,015 Wendy: meets parent life. 58 00:02:41,015 --> 00:02:42,295 Wendy: Introducing your partner to your 59 00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:44,135 Wendy: kids when it's your first openly 60 00:02:44,135 --> 00:02:45,295 Wendy: queer relationship. 61 00:02:45,496 --> 00:02:47,975 Siren: But first, it's time to cleanse the palate. 62 00:02:47,975 --> 00:02:48,855 Siren: Insert music. 63 00:02:48,855 --> 00:02:51,216 Siren: Bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam. 64 00:02:53,415 --> 00:02:53,975 Siren: Bam bam. 65 00:02:55,975 --> 00:02:57,056 Siren: It's time to freshen things up. 66 00:02:57,056 --> 00:02:59,895 Siren: Wendy, you're in charge of this week's question. 67 00:02:59,895 --> 00:03:01,376 Siren: This is something that I will be 68 00:03:01,376 --> 00:03:02,376 Siren: hearing for the first time 69 00:03:02,376 --> 00:03:03,175 Siren: tonight. 70 00:03:03,415 --> 00:03:03,816 Wendy: I've been. 71 00:03:03,816 --> 00:03:09,415 Wendy: I've been really turning this over in my head and and and 72 00:03:09,415 --> 00:03:13,776 Wendy: trying to figure out what what I want it to be, you know? 73 00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:14,975 Wendy: Do I want it to be serious? 74 00:03:14,975 --> 00:03:18,216 Wendy: Do I want it to be fun? 75 00:03:18,216 --> 00:03:19,256 Wendy: Sexy? 76 00:03:19,256 --> 00:03:20,975 Wendy: But all I keep on thinking about. 77 00:03:20,816 --> 00:03:22,096 Siren: I mean, it was. 78 00:03:22,096 --> 00:03:23,135 Siren: So I say it again. 79 00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,575 Wendy: All I keep thinking about is something deep, because I want 80 00:03:25,575 --> 00:03:28,455 Wendy: to get into the intricate parts of your soul. 81 00:03:28,256 --> 00:03:29,096 Siren: Into the deep shit. 82 00:03:29,096 --> 00:03:34,816 Siren: So so to to counteract the the wild, off the wall question of 83 00:03:34,816 --> 00:03:41,216 Siren: would you turn your, uh, dead partner's ashes into a dildo if 84 00:03:41,216 --> 00:03:42,616 Siren: they asked you to. 85 00:03:42,616 --> 00:03:44,536 Siren: Not not not on those lines. 86 00:03:44,536 --> 00:03:46,135 Siren: No, no, no, it's slightly different. 87 00:03:46,376 --> 00:03:47,795 Wendy: Ooh. Maybe I can ask what we 88 00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:49,216 Wendy: were talking about earlier in 89 00:03:49,216 --> 00:03:50,216 Wendy: the chat. 90 00:03:50,216 --> 00:03:53,096 Siren: Honestly, like, I, I, I thought about that one. 91 00:03:53,096 --> 00:03:54,496 Siren: I thought about that question. 92 00:03:54,496 --> 00:03:56,496 Siren: But if you have one to go, like. 93 00:03:56,656 --> 00:03:59,735 Wendy: Okay, I can save that for the next time and we can be, we can 94 00:03:59,735 --> 00:04:01,056 Wendy: get deep that time. 95 00:04:00,855 --> 00:04:01,936 Siren: But okay. 96 00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:09,415 Wendy: Okay. So this was a hot take in the chat earlier in my life. 97 00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:15,876 Wendy: If you could, if you physically could suck your own inner ear 98 00:04:15,876 --> 00:04:18,495 Wendy: out, would you. 99 00:04:18,495 --> 00:04:19,896 Wendy: Why or why not? 100 00:04:21,815 --> 00:04:26,016 Wendy: And you're in or out means your pussy or your peepee. 101 00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:26,615 Wendy: Okay. 102 00:04:26,935 --> 00:04:29,216 Siren: Your dangly bits are your any bits? 103 00:04:29,295 --> 00:04:30,055 Wendy: Yeah. 104 00:04:29,975 --> 00:04:30,615 Siren: Yeah. 105 00:04:31,336 --> 00:04:34,055 Wendy: Yeah. Your Audi is your twigs 106 00:04:34,055 --> 00:04:35,636 Wendy: and berries and your any is your 107 00:04:35,636 --> 00:04:36,255 Wendy: punanny. 108 00:04:36,255 --> 00:04:36,615 Wendy: Okay. 109 00:04:36,615 --> 00:04:37,615 Wendy: Just so we know. 110 00:04:37,815 --> 00:04:39,896 Siren: Yeah. So this is a little bit different than a normal palate 111 00:04:39,896 --> 00:04:43,336 Siren: cleanser question because I did hear it earlier today. 112 00:04:43,696 --> 00:04:44,415 Wendy: Um. 113 00:04:44,735 --> 00:04:46,096 Siren: However. 114 00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:49,175 Wendy: It's a good one. 115 00:04:49,096 --> 00:04:51,656 Siren: It's, it's it's not a terrible one. 116 00:04:51,656 --> 00:04:53,415 Siren: It's not a terrible question. 117 00:04:53,415 --> 00:04:55,696 Siren: I think I would have probably. 118 00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:57,855 Siren: And this this isn't something I thought of earlier today. 119 00:04:57,855 --> 00:04:59,096 Siren: I probably would have answered 120 00:04:59,096 --> 00:05:02,175 Siren: it differently before I came 121 00:05:02,175 --> 00:05:02,776 Siren: out. 122 00:05:04,096 --> 00:05:06,016 Siren: Yeah, I think so. 123 00:05:07,295 --> 00:05:09,375 Siren: An honest, an honest answer. 124 00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:09,735 Siren: Like. 125 00:05:09,735 --> 00:05:11,136 Siren: Like if I was to like. 126 00:05:11,136 --> 00:05:14,115 Siren: Not if if I'm not trying to 127 00:05:14,115 --> 00:05:15,536 Siren: impress anybody with my answer 128 00:05:15,536 --> 00:05:16,696 Siren: and I'm like being real about 129 00:05:16,696 --> 00:05:17,216 Siren: it. 130 00:05:18,255 --> 00:05:20,615 Siren: I probably would have been okay 131 00:05:20,615 --> 00:05:23,456 Siren: with it before I came, before I 132 00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:25,276 Siren: transitioned, before I had my 133 00:05:25,276 --> 00:05:26,975 Siren: yeah, before I transitioned in 134 00:05:26,975 --> 00:05:27,495 Siren: general. 135 00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:28,175 Siren: Yeah. 136 00:05:28,175 --> 00:05:31,175 Siren: Um, yeah. 137 00:05:32,656 --> 00:05:34,175 Siren: So but at this point, no. 138 00:05:34,456 --> 00:05:36,336 Wendy: So. Yes. Prior. 139 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,375 Wendy: No, no. 140 00:05:37,216 --> 00:05:38,175 Siren: I don't think so. 141 00:05:38,175 --> 00:05:39,415 Siren: I don't think so. 142 00:05:40,175 --> 00:05:41,295 Wendy: Okay, okay. 143 00:05:41,415 --> 00:05:42,495 Siren: And just in case you didn't 144 00:05:42,495 --> 00:05:43,735 Siren: follow it, we do use code words 145 00:05:43,735 --> 00:05:43,896 Siren: here. 146 00:05:43,896 --> 00:05:46,536 Siren: Sometimes we are not talking about a belly button. 147 00:05:46,576 --> 00:05:47,975 Wendy: No, we are not. 148 00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:48,495 Siren: No. 149 00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:50,456 Wendy: Thanks. 150 00:05:50,295 --> 00:05:51,096 Siren: What do you think, Wendy? 151 00:05:51,096 --> 00:05:51,615 Siren: What do you what? 152 00:05:51,615 --> 00:05:52,136 Siren: What do you think? 153 00:05:52,136 --> 00:05:52,375 Siren: What? 154 00:05:52,375 --> 00:05:52,935 Siren: Like what? 155 00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:54,456 Siren: Because I feel like you have to answer this question too. 156 00:05:54,456 --> 00:05:55,896 Siren: You can't just gloss over it, like. 157 00:05:55,896 --> 00:05:56,696 Siren: Come on. 158 00:05:57,175 --> 00:05:59,576 Wendy: Um, my answer would be no, you don't. 159 00:05:59,536 --> 00:06:00,536 Siren: You wouldn't do it. 160 00:06:00,495 --> 00:06:04,576 Wendy: I would have no urge because I, I would I, like somebody else 161 00:06:04,576 --> 00:06:05,456 Wendy: will do it better. 162 00:06:05,456 --> 00:06:11,495 Wendy: So why would I. No, no I say no. 163 00:06:11,576 --> 00:06:20,975 Siren: No, no I say no honestly because I. I don't think it would. 164 00:06:20,975 --> 00:06:24,255 Siren: I think the taste would get me like it's only. 165 00:06:24,255 --> 00:06:27,896 Siren: the taste is only sexy when it's someone else's. 166 00:06:29,735 --> 00:06:30,656 Siren: I feel like. 167 00:06:31,375 --> 00:06:32,295 Wendy: You don't think you're. 168 00:06:32,295 --> 00:06:33,456 Wendy: You taste sexy. 169 00:06:33,415 --> 00:06:35,576 Siren: I it's less sexy to me. 170 00:06:35,576 --> 00:06:38,696 Siren: Like I'm not going to, like, wait, do you when you. 171 00:06:38,696 --> 00:06:41,875 Siren: If you were to like when you 172 00:06:41,875 --> 00:06:43,055 Siren: like after you masturbate, do 173 00:06:43,055 --> 00:06:43,536 Siren: you. 174 00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:44,615 Siren: Hold on, hold on, wait. 175 00:06:44,615 --> 00:06:45,375 Siren: Time out. 176 00:06:45,375 --> 00:06:47,735 Siren: After you masturbate, do you taste it? 177 00:06:47,735 --> 00:06:49,935 Siren: Do you taste your fingers after you do it? 178 00:06:49,935 --> 00:06:50,336 Siren: No. 179 00:06:50,336 --> 00:06:50,855 Siren: No. 180 00:06:51,735 --> 00:06:53,815 Wendy: But you make out with your 181 00:06:53,815 --> 00:06:55,576 Wendy: partner after they go down on 182 00:06:55,576 --> 00:06:55,896 Wendy: you. 183 00:06:55,735 --> 00:06:56,536 Siren: Sure. 184 00:06:57,136 --> 00:06:57,615 Wendy: So. 185 00:06:57,456 --> 00:06:59,696 Siren: But that's sexy because you're kissing them. 186 00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:00,615 Wendy: Right? 187 00:07:00,615 --> 00:07:05,175 Wendy: But they just had your whole pussy in their mouth, so, I 188 00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:08,656 Wendy: mean, in that aspect, it's kind of like you're already doing 189 00:07:08,656 --> 00:07:10,216 Wendy: that, you know? 190 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,375 Siren: You're not wrong. 191 00:07:11,576 --> 00:07:13,415 Wendy: No. So think about that before 192 00:07:13,415 --> 00:07:16,576 Wendy: you say no. I'm not saying 193 00:07:16,576 --> 00:07:18,016 Wendy: anything about the taste because 194 00:07:18,016 --> 00:07:19,415 Wendy: it's immaculate. 195 00:07:19,415 --> 00:07:20,456 Wendy: You're immaculate. 196 00:07:20,456 --> 00:07:22,466 Wendy: I'm positive of that. 197 00:07:22,466 --> 00:07:23,545 Wendy: but it's. 198 00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:25,146 Siren: I have been told that. 199 00:07:24,985 --> 00:07:27,225 Wendy: Essentially. Right. 200 00:07:27,225 --> 00:07:31,185 Wendy: You're essentially doing that if you're making out with the 201 00:07:31,185 --> 00:07:33,505 Wendy: person after they have. 202 00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:34,466 Siren: Sure. 203 00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:35,625 Wendy: Pleasured you. 204 00:07:35,625 --> 00:07:38,466 Wendy: How do you oh my gosh, this thing is bothering me. 205 00:07:40,346 --> 00:07:41,185 Siren: Essentially. 206 00:07:43,625 --> 00:07:44,865 Siren: It's okay to take it off. 207 00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:45,545 Siren: I love. 208 00:07:45,346 --> 00:07:46,346 Siren: It, I love it. 209 00:07:46,545 --> 00:07:47,425 Wendy: Hurts my head. 210 00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:47,985 Wendy: How about I. 211 00:07:47,826 --> 00:07:50,026 Siren: Wear this just the just. 212 00:07:56,386 --> 00:07:56,826 Siren: Let's go. 213 00:07:56,826 --> 00:07:58,305 Siren: I like it, I like it. 214 00:08:03,386 --> 00:08:07,105 Siren: Speaking of poontang being enough of a palate cleanser, 215 00:08:07,105 --> 00:08:08,985 Siren: that seems to be enough. 216 00:08:08,985 --> 00:08:10,745 Siren: Appetizers. 217 00:08:10,745 --> 00:08:13,065 Siren: Let's get into the first course. 218 00:08:13,305 --> 00:08:14,505 Wendy: Let's get into it. 219 00:08:14,505 --> 00:08:14,985 Wendy: All right. 220 00:08:14,985 --> 00:08:17,065 Wendy: Gender awakenings, y'all. 221 00:08:17,065 --> 00:08:18,625 Wendy: The first course. 222 00:08:18,625 --> 00:08:19,146 Wendy: Siren. 223 00:08:19,146 --> 00:08:21,545 Wendy: This feels like something up your alley. 224 00:08:22,305 --> 00:08:23,225 Siren: This is the part of the journey 225 00:08:23,225 --> 00:08:24,305 Siren: that gets really personal for 226 00:08:24,305 --> 00:08:25,346 Siren: me. 227 00:08:25,346 --> 00:08:28,665 Siren: Obviously, before the queer awakening comes the gender ones. 228 00:08:28,665 --> 00:08:33,446 Siren: Those moments when you realize that it's not just about who you 229 00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:35,265 Siren: love, but who you are. 230 00:08:35,105 --> 00:08:36,025 Wendy: That's very true. 231 00:08:37,186 --> 00:08:40,385 Wendy: The shift from curiosity to clarity. 232 00:08:40,385 --> 00:08:45,225 Wendy: Those little whispers that say something here doesn't fit. 233 00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:46,826 Wendy: Before you even know the language. 234 00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:47,706 Wendy: To name it. 235 00:08:47,706 --> 00:08:49,625 Siren: Exactly. For sure. 236 00:08:49,625 --> 00:08:52,666 Siren: For me, it wasn't one big dramatic realization. 237 00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:57,926 Siren: It was a thousand tiny moments that slowly built up into one I 238 00:08:57,926 --> 00:08:59,666 Siren: just couldn't ignore anymore. 239 00:08:59,666 --> 00:09:00,905 Siren: The way I looked in mirrors, the 240 00:09:00,905 --> 00:09:02,865 Siren: way I wanted to look, the way I 241 00:09:02,865 --> 00:09:04,385 Siren: felt when someone used the wrong 242 00:09:04,385 --> 00:09:06,546 Siren: name, or when I imagined what it 243 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,265 Siren: might feel like to hear the 244 00:09:08,265 --> 00:09:08,865 Siren: right one. 245 00:09:08,865 --> 00:09:12,706 Siren: That's what I call the closet cracks. 246 00:09:12,706 --> 00:09:16,745 Siren: Those moments that fracture your closet door and let a little bit 247 00:09:16,745 --> 00:09:17,625 Siren: of light in. 248 00:09:18,706 --> 00:09:20,186 Siren: The moments that you start to 249 00:09:20,186 --> 00:09:21,706 Siren: see yourself a little bit, start 250 00:09:21,706 --> 00:09:23,625 Siren: to see who you truly are peeking 251 00:09:23,625 --> 00:09:24,105 Siren: through. 252 00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,505 Siren: You start to see light coming through. 253 00:09:25,505 --> 00:09:30,306 Siren: And at first it can be scary, blinding, terrifying. 254 00:09:30,306 --> 00:09:33,145 Siren: But it's also absolutely beautiful. 255 00:09:32,985 --> 00:09:34,225 Wendy: Amazing. 256 00:09:34,225 --> 00:09:36,225 Wendy: And you can't unsee it once it's there, you know? 257 00:09:36,225 --> 00:09:39,865 Wendy: Know the moment that cracks appear, the whole world starts 258 00:09:39,865 --> 00:09:41,225 Wendy: to look very different. 259 00:09:42,946 --> 00:09:43,905 Wendy: And you can't. 260 00:09:43,905 --> 00:09:45,025 Wendy: You just can't unsee it. 261 00:09:45,025 --> 00:09:45,946 Wendy: You just can't. 262 00:09:46,466 --> 00:09:48,066 Siren: Once you see it, you can't unsee. 263 00:09:48,066 --> 00:09:49,785 Siren: Once you taste, you can't even taste. 264 00:09:49,785 --> 00:09:54,145 Siren: It's like once you start to realize that that all of this is 265 00:09:54,145 --> 00:09:58,865 Siren: going on, you start to realize that maybe you you're never 266 00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:03,186 Siren: broken, and maybe it was just the container that didn't fit. 267 00:10:06,265 --> 00:10:10,666 Siren: And then comes those oh, moments, right? 268 00:10:10,666 --> 00:10:12,946 Siren: That's the deep breath, the shiver, the click. 269 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:13,785 Siren: That moment when you say to 270 00:10:13,785 --> 00:10:17,546 Siren: yourself, oh shit, I'm trans. 271 00:10:17,546 --> 00:10:17,865 Siren: Like. 272 00:10:17,865 --> 00:10:18,586 Siren: Oh, shit. 273 00:10:18,586 --> 00:10:21,946 Siren: Like that moment when I realized that I wasn't just talking about 274 00:10:21,946 --> 00:10:23,785 Siren: someone else in that story. 275 00:10:23,785 --> 00:10:26,745 Siren: I was talking about me in that story. 276 00:10:26,745 --> 00:10:30,666 Siren: It's a mix of terror, relief and pure truth all at once. 277 00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:32,706 Wendy: It's the most honest kind of awakening, honestly. 278 00:10:32,706 --> 00:10:35,745 Wendy: You don't just realize something about yourself. 279 00:10:35,745 --> 00:10:36,826 Wendy: You remember it. 280 00:10:36,826 --> 00:10:38,745 Wendy: It was always there waiting for you. 281 00:10:39,346 --> 00:10:40,666 Siren: Yeah, exactly. 282 00:10:40,666 --> 00:10:42,745 Siren: It's like coming home to your own skin. 283 00:10:42,745 --> 00:10:43,865 Siren: And that's what makes it such an 284 00:10:43,865 --> 00:10:45,025 Siren: emotional and powerful part of 285 00:10:45,025 --> 00:10:45,785 Siren: my journey. 286 00:10:46,985 --> 00:10:47,466 Siren: Now for me. 287 00:10:47,466 --> 00:10:51,025 Siren: Like early on when we talked about this a lot in the last 288 00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:58,785 Siren: episode of the podcast, but early on I. I struggled a lot. 289 00:10:58,785 --> 00:11:03,346 Siren: I struggled a lot to to know where I fit within the dynamic 290 00:11:03,346 --> 00:11:12,145 Siren: of humanness, because I knew desperately that it was either 291 00:11:12,145 --> 00:11:16,765 Siren: just sheer curiosity that I just wanted to be someone else or 292 00:11:16,765 --> 00:11:19,385 Siren: something was wrong because from the earliest point, it just felt 293 00:11:19,385 --> 00:11:22,346 Siren: like something was broken, like it didn't fit in the right spot. 294 00:11:22,186 --> 00:11:23,785 Wendy: Yeah, I'm kind of getting that 295 00:11:23,785 --> 00:11:26,025 Wendy: role where you're like trying to 296 00:11:26,025 --> 00:11:27,306 Wendy: be what society thinks you 297 00:11:27,306 --> 00:11:28,025 Wendy: should be. 298 00:11:28,865 --> 00:11:29,905 Siren: Yeah. Oh, yeah. 299 00:11:30,306 --> 00:11:34,505 Wendy: It's really a struggle to, like, be in that where you're like, 300 00:11:34,505 --> 00:11:38,265 Wendy: I'm really attracted to girls, but like, society is telling me 301 00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:39,785 Wendy: that I need to be with a guy. 302 00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:40,666 Siren: Yeah. 303 00:11:40,505 --> 00:11:43,265 Wendy: Like, just keep on pushing that down and pushing it down. 304 00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:45,546 Siren: Yeah. Have you ever had. 305 00:11:45,546 --> 00:11:51,346 Siren: I mean, I feel like for you, it's less about gender. 306 00:11:51,346 --> 00:11:55,066 Siren: Maybe, but early, earlier on in your life, I mean, were you 307 00:11:55,066 --> 00:12:00,426 Siren: always a tomboy or did you always, like, prefer short hair? 308 00:12:00,426 --> 00:12:01,586 Siren: How you dress now? 309 00:12:02,265 --> 00:12:04,145 Wendy: Well, I was I didn't come out 310 00:12:04,145 --> 00:12:05,985 Wendy: until I was in my early 311 00:12:05,985 --> 00:12:08,426 Wendy: twenties, so I didn't really 312 00:12:08,426 --> 00:12:10,826 Wendy: explore that get my hair was 313 00:12:10,826 --> 00:12:11,466 Wendy: really long. 314 00:12:11,466 --> 00:12:15,666 Wendy: I would consider myself kind of like a chapstick. 315 00:12:15,666 --> 00:12:17,145 Wendy: You know, I was like, a little fan. 316 00:12:17,145 --> 00:12:18,505 Wendy: I wore a little bit of eye makeup. 317 00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:19,505 Wendy: I had long hair. 318 00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:22,145 Wendy: I wore girl women's clothes. 319 00:12:22,145 --> 00:12:23,625 Wendy: And then when I came out, I just 320 00:12:23,625 --> 00:12:26,625 Wendy: was gradually more and more felt 321 00:12:26,625 --> 00:12:27,586 Wendy: like myself. 322 00:12:27,586 --> 00:12:28,745 Wendy: Not that I wanted. 323 00:12:28,745 --> 00:12:31,466 Wendy: Not that I felt like I was in the wrong skin. 324 00:12:31,466 --> 00:12:32,426 Wendy: Just more so. 325 00:12:32,426 --> 00:12:35,745 Wendy: The fact that I felt like I just wanted to be comfortable. 326 00:12:35,745 --> 00:12:39,625 Wendy: And I knew being like, extremely girly was not for me. 327 00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:42,546 Wendy: And I just felt more comfortable with short hair. 328 00:12:42,546 --> 00:12:45,826 Wendy: And, you know, men's clothing. 329 00:12:45,985 --> 00:12:46,706 Siren: Yeah. 330 00:12:46,546 --> 00:12:48,265 Wendy: It just felt more comfortable to me. 331 00:12:48,105 --> 00:12:48,785 Siren: Yeah. 332 00:12:48,826 --> 00:12:51,745 Siren: A clothing that was like, designed that way. 333 00:12:51,745 --> 00:12:52,466 Siren: Like with. 334 00:12:52,306 --> 00:12:52,745 Siren: Yeah. 335 00:12:52,586 --> 00:12:54,066 Wendy: Just designed for men. 336 00:12:53,905 --> 00:12:54,546 Siren: Yeah. 337 00:12:54,946 --> 00:12:57,105 Wendy: You know, honestly, clothing and 338 00:12:57,105 --> 00:12:58,985 Wendy: color is not gender specific, 339 00:12:58,985 --> 00:13:00,426 Wendy: but life made it that way for 340 00:13:00,426 --> 00:13:01,546 Wendy: all of us to be like, oh, it's 341 00:13:01,546 --> 00:13:01,785 Wendy: pink. 342 00:13:01,785 --> 00:13:02,466 Wendy: It's for a girl. 343 00:13:02,466 --> 00:13:03,186 Wendy: Oh it's blue. 344 00:13:03,186 --> 00:13:04,186 Wendy: You know what I mean? 345 00:13:04,025 --> 00:13:04,745 Siren: Yeah. 346 00:13:04,946 --> 00:13:07,546 Siren: Yeah. And then, like, the the shape and the fit too. 347 00:13:07,546 --> 00:13:11,806 Siren: And like, what it's trying to achieve with showing off and 348 00:13:11,806 --> 00:13:13,706 Siren: aspects of that for sure. 349 00:13:13,706 --> 00:13:16,625 Siren: Exactly like thinking forward. 350 00:13:16,625 --> 00:13:17,706 Siren: I mean, this isn't when I was 351 00:13:17,706 --> 00:13:19,485 Siren: young, but thinking forward to 352 00:13:19,485 --> 00:13:21,225 Siren: in my early thirties, when I was 353 00:13:21,225 --> 00:13:22,625 Siren: exploring gender for the first 354 00:13:22,625 --> 00:13:25,806 Siren: time openly and got to put on a 355 00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:28,706 Siren: t shirt like from the women's 356 00:13:28,706 --> 00:13:30,725 Siren: cycling section, you know, like 357 00:13:30,725 --> 00:13:32,946 Siren: when that's cut for a feminine 358 00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:36,066 Siren: body and how it fit different 359 00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:37,505 Siren: and how it felt different and 360 00:13:37,505 --> 00:13:39,025 Siren: how it felt, it made me feel 361 00:13:39,025 --> 00:13:39,426 Siren: good. 362 00:13:39,426 --> 00:13:42,625 Siren: Those moments of clarity, of like of opening. 363 00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:44,385 Siren: And it's all those small moments 364 00:13:44,385 --> 00:13:45,605 Siren: that build towards realization, 365 00:13:45,605 --> 00:13:45,785 Siren: right? 366 00:13:45,785 --> 00:13:49,066 Siren: It's all those like little things that come compound on top 367 00:13:49,066 --> 00:13:54,605 Siren: of each other over and over again, that kind of push it to 368 00:13:54,605 --> 00:13:57,546 Siren: that edge of like, yeah, we need to do something about this. 369 00:13:57,905 --> 00:13:59,745 Wendy: I feel like you're ever evolving too. 370 00:13:59,745 --> 00:14:03,025 Wendy: So like, there could be moments where, you know, I was 371 00:14:03,025 --> 00:14:05,625 Wendy: comfortable in women's clothing. 372 00:14:05,625 --> 00:14:08,346 Wendy: I was comfortable with having long hair. 373 00:14:08,346 --> 00:14:10,066 Wendy: You know, I can't tell you later 374 00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:11,346 Wendy: on in life that I won't go back 375 00:14:11,346 --> 00:14:11,666 Wendy: to that. 376 00:14:11,666 --> 00:14:14,145 Wendy: I don't think that I will, but who knows? 377 00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:17,625 Wendy: Because you're ever evolving and changing and growing. 378 00:14:17,905 --> 00:14:19,905 Siren: Yeah. I want to see a picture of high school. 379 00:14:19,905 --> 00:14:20,586 Siren: Wendy. 380 00:14:20,546 --> 00:14:21,105 Wendy: Um. 381 00:14:21,426 --> 00:14:24,385 Siren: We we don't have a way to show it on the podcast, but, like. 382 00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:27,785 Wendy: I think I have one that I'll 383 00:14:27,785 --> 00:14:29,025 Wendy: look and send you when I had 384 00:14:29,025 --> 00:14:29,745 Wendy: long hair. 385 00:14:29,865 --> 00:14:31,505 Siren: We need to see a picture of high school, Wendy. 386 00:14:31,505 --> 00:14:31,946 Siren: At some point. 387 00:14:31,946 --> 00:14:33,666 Siren: Chad's like, hell, yeah, yeah. 388 00:14:34,105 --> 00:14:37,785 Wendy: I can, I have one, I believe, and my hair was all the way down 389 00:14:37,785 --> 00:14:39,066 Wendy: to my my butt. 390 00:14:39,066 --> 00:14:39,865 Wendy: She was. 391 00:14:39,865 --> 00:14:40,826 Wendy: She was stunning. 392 00:14:40,826 --> 00:14:41,985 Wendy: She was a stunner. 393 00:14:43,225 --> 00:14:44,225 Wendy: Not really. 394 00:14:44,225 --> 00:14:45,706 Wendy: I felt so out of place. 395 00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:47,025 Siren: I. 396 00:14:47,265 --> 00:14:49,505 Siren: Uh, for my senior year, my 397 00:14:49,505 --> 00:14:52,306 Siren: senior portrait, I decided it'd 398 00:14:52,306 --> 00:14:53,745 Siren: be a good idea to highlight my 399 00:14:53,745 --> 00:14:54,666 Siren: own hair. 400 00:14:55,426 --> 00:14:55,865 Wendy: I don't. 401 00:14:55,706 --> 00:14:56,186 Siren: Know. 402 00:14:56,025 --> 00:14:57,265 Siren: Like a week before. 403 00:14:57,905 --> 00:14:58,586 Siren: Yeah. 404 00:14:59,586 --> 00:15:00,706 Wendy: Was it yellow? 405 00:15:02,426 --> 00:15:04,546 Siren: I couldn't get the highlighter on. 406 00:15:04,546 --> 00:15:06,826 Siren: Just some pieces of my hair. 407 00:15:06,826 --> 00:15:08,946 Siren: So it ended up just my whole head. 408 00:15:09,265 --> 00:15:10,385 Wendy: Oh, no. 409 00:15:10,586 --> 00:15:13,706 Siren: Yeah. Oh, no. And I just did it. 410 00:15:15,265 --> 00:15:16,625 Siren: No question. 411 00:15:18,145 --> 00:15:18,865 Siren: Yeah. 412 00:15:19,706 --> 00:15:21,546 Siren: My parents were not happy. 413 00:15:22,426 --> 00:15:24,306 Siren: I'm sure they were shocked. 414 00:15:24,426 --> 00:15:27,186 Siren: They were not happy about that. 415 00:15:27,186 --> 00:15:31,186 Siren: Um, but that kind of goes with, like, honestly, like with what 416 00:15:31,186 --> 00:15:32,505 Siren: we're talking about here. 417 00:15:32,946 --> 00:15:33,586 Siren: Yeah. 418 00:15:33,426 --> 00:15:38,966 Siren: There were so many aspects of me trying to find some sort of 419 00:15:38,966 --> 00:15:40,785 Siren: peace and gender euphoria. 420 00:15:40,785 --> 00:15:43,785 Siren: Like some sort of like, like experience of my body that made 421 00:15:43,785 --> 00:15:44,426 Siren: sense to me. 422 00:15:44,426 --> 00:15:48,546 Siren: And I remember even, like, early on, like picking out clothes. 423 00:15:48,546 --> 00:15:52,946 Siren: I remember picking out a pair of shoes when I was in elementary 424 00:15:52,946 --> 00:15:56,525 Siren: school that Payless or whatever, and went there with my dad to 425 00:15:56,525 --> 00:15:57,505 Siren: pick out shoes. 426 00:15:57,505 --> 00:15:58,785 Siren: And I don't know, Wendy, if you 427 00:15:58,785 --> 00:16:00,426 Siren: remember those shoes that they 428 00:16:00,426 --> 00:16:03,306 Siren: had in the nineties that were 429 00:16:03,306 --> 00:16:06,785 Siren: like Gold. 430 00:16:08,186 --> 00:16:09,105 Siren: Gold or. 431 00:16:09,066 --> 00:16:10,505 Siren: Silver. Like. Like really? 432 00:16:10,505 --> 00:16:12,025 Siren: Like chromed out. 433 00:16:12,025 --> 00:16:12,265 Siren: Like. 434 00:16:12,265 --> 00:16:15,306 Siren: Almost like Adidas style. 435 00:16:15,306 --> 00:16:18,105 Siren: Like like chrome gold sneakers. 436 00:16:17,946 --> 00:16:19,546 Wendy: Do you remember what brand they were? 437 00:16:19,385 --> 00:16:20,346 Siren: I think I. 438 00:16:20,265 --> 00:16:21,605 Siren: Feel like they I don't know, 439 00:16:21,605 --> 00:16:22,546 Siren: they I feel like they were 440 00:16:22,546 --> 00:16:22,905 Siren: Adidas. 441 00:16:22,905 --> 00:16:26,206 Siren: I don't remember these like chrome gold sneakers, chrome 442 00:16:26,206 --> 00:16:27,865 Siren: like chrome silver sneakers. 443 00:16:27,865 --> 00:16:29,265 Siren: And this is back in the nineties. 444 00:16:29,265 --> 00:16:30,905 Siren: And like it was it wasn't super popular. 445 00:16:30,905 --> 00:16:34,905 Siren: But I remember desperately wanting a pair of these and just 446 00:16:34,905 --> 00:16:37,686 Siren: being told by both the person that worked there and my dad 447 00:16:37,686 --> 00:16:38,905 Siren: that those were for girls. 448 00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:40,265 Wendy: Yeah. 449 00:16:40,105 --> 00:16:42,346 Siren: Like I was like, what the fuck? 450 00:16:42,186 --> 00:16:44,346 Siren: Like I'm like, I want. 451 00:16:44,346 --> 00:16:46,385 Siren: And then I picked out another pair of shoes that I was like, 452 00:16:46,385 --> 00:16:47,905 Siren: whatever, fine, I'll pick out the boys shoes. 453 00:16:47,905 --> 00:16:49,346 Siren: And I got made fun of for them. 454 00:16:49,946 --> 00:16:50,826 Siren: Oh, gosh. 455 00:16:50,666 --> 00:16:51,145 Wendy: Yeah. 456 00:16:50,985 --> 00:16:51,505 Siren: See? 457 00:16:51,426 --> 00:16:54,265 Siren: Yeah. It's like you, you can't win in school. 458 00:16:54,265 --> 00:16:56,385 Wendy: Instead of just getting what you wanted. 459 00:16:56,225 --> 00:16:56,905 Siren: Yeah. 460 00:16:57,346 --> 00:17:00,745 Wendy: But which is crazy, because I know I could never imagine being 461 00:17:00,745 --> 00:17:02,466 Wendy: like, don't get that. 462 00:17:02,466 --> 00:17:02,946 Wendy: It's pink. 463 00:17:02,946 --> 00:17:03,826 Wendy: Don't get that. 464 00:17:03,826 --> 00:17:05,465 Wendy: It's for boys. 465 00:17:05,465 --> 00:17:05,945 Wendy: Don't get that. 466 00:17:05,945 --> 00:17:06,266 Wendy: It's for. 467 00:17:06,266 --> 00:17:06,826 Wendy: You know what I mean? 468 00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:08,226 Wendy: Like, do what you want. 469 00:17:08,066 --> 00:17:08,826 Siren: Yeah. 470 00:17:08,665 --> 00:17:09,986 Wendy: Do what you want, baby. 471 00:17:09,986 --> 00:17:11,546 Wendy: Whatever makes you feel good. 472 00:17:11,385 --> 00:17:14,026 Siren: Yeah. And then, like. 473 00:17:13,945 --> 00:17:16,665 Wendy: Have to worry about if they're going to get made fun of. 474 00:17:16,705 --> 00:17:17,385 Siren: Yeah. 475 00:17:17,945 --> 00:17:20,306 Siren: And then like that relationship between gender and queerness 476 00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:24,806 Siren: that like as your as for me as my explored my gender and figure 477 00:17:24,806 --> 00:17:27,665 Siren: out who I was more I had to do that first before I could 478 00:17:27,665 --> 00:17:33,945 Siren: discover like the other aspects of my my queerness or my 479 00:17:33,945 --> 00:17:36,705 Siren: sexuality, of all of those pieces of who I was. 480 00:17:37,905 --> 00:17:38,705 Wendy: Exactly. 481 00:17:38,705 --> 00:17:44,266 Wendy: I hope that you now feel just so 482 00:17:44,266 --> 00:17:45,746 Wendy: much more into your skin, and so 483 00:17:45,746 --> 00:17:46,826 Wendy: much more like yourself, that 484 00:17:46,826 --> 00:17:48,965 Wendy: you don't have to have any 485 00:17:48,965 --> 00:17:51,586 Wendy: doubts of anything moving 486 00:17:51,586 --> 00:17:53,746 Wendy: forward or anyone's opinion 487 00:17:53,746 --> 00:17:54,625 Wendy: about you. 488 00:17:54,625 --> 00:17:55,625 Wendy: You know what I mean? 489 00:17:55,905 --> 00:17:56,506 Siren: Yeah. 490 00:17:57,786 --> 00:18:01,645 Wendy: And the queer epiphanies when the realization of who you are 491 00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:04,036 Wendy: collides with who you love. 492 00:18:04,036 --> 00:18:05,635 Wendy: Let's talk about that a little bit. 493 00:18:05,556 --> 00:18:07,076 Siren: Yeah. My awakening started with 494 00:18:07,076 --> 00:18:08,556 Siren: gender, and that realization 495 00:18:08,556 --> 00:18:09,556 Siren: opened the door to everything 496 00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:09,796 Siren: else. 497 00:18:09,796 --> 00:18:12,915 Siren: Which brings us perfectly into our next part of the story. 498 00:18:12,915 --> 00:18:13,675 Siren: Yeah. 499 00:18:20,195 --> 00:18:22,195 Siren: Those in podcast land that might 500 00:18:22,195 --> 00:18:23,996 Siren: be checking in on on us in 501 00:18:23,996 --> 00:18:25,395 Siren: TikTok land. 502 00:18:25,395 --> 00:18:27,996 Siren: There's forty nine people over here right now. 503 00:18:27,996 --> 00:18:29,435 Siren: So you are amongst friends. 504 00:18:29,435 --> 00:18:31,715 Siren: Should you come and hang out with us? 505 00:18:31,516 --> 00:18:32,516 Wendy: Friends? 506 00:18:32,756 --> 00:18:33,955 Siren: How many you got over there? 507 00:18:34,715 --> 00:18:36,036 Wendy: Twenty nine. Twenty eight. 508 00:18:36,036 --> 00:18:36,476 Wendy: Twenty. 509 00:18:36,476 --> 00:18:37,195 Wendy: It keeps on going. 510 00:18:37,355 --> 00:18:39,115 Siren: Yeah. So about like thirty people. 511 00:18:38,915 --> 00:18:39,955 Wendy: Twenty nine for a while. 512 00:18:39,955 --> 00:18:40,516 Wendy: Yeah. 513 00:18:40,355 --> 00:18:43,756 Siren: Yeah. Yeah. So there's there's a good there's a there's almost 514 00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:45,155 Siren: eighty people here right now. 515 00:18:45,316 --> 00:18:46,875 Wendy: It's a good chunk of people. 516 00:18:46,675 --> 00:18:48,836 Siren: So come, come hang out I promise I don't bite. 517 00:18:49,236 --> 00:18:50,476 Wendy: No I do a little bit. 518 00:18:50,476 --> 00:18:51,596 Wendy: But you'll like it. 519 00:18:51,395 --> 00:18:52,596 Siren: Only with consent. 520 00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:54,076 Wendy: Yeah. If it's consensual. 521 00:18:54,076 --> 00:18:55,236 Wendy: If not, then whatever. 522 00:18:55,076 --> 00:18:56,036 Siren: Only with consent. 523 00:18:56,076 --> 00:19:00,395 Wendy: We. We would just stare lovingly into each other's eyes. 524 00:19:08,476 --> 00:19:10,796 Siren: So a queer epiphanies. 525 00:19:10,796 --> 00:19:12,476 Siren: This is where we're going to talk about those moments that 526 00:19:12,476 --> 00:19:17,996 Siren: took your baby gay brain and said welcome home. 527 00:19:18,915 --> 00:19:24,336 Wendy: Mhm. And we've got some of our own queer epiphanies to share to 528 00:19:24,336 --> 00:19:28,236 Wendy: listeners recordings that honestly gave us chills. 529 00:19:32,435 --> 00:19:34,476 Listener 1: Hi, Wendy. Hi, Cyron. 530 00:19:34,476 --> 00:19:43,096 Listener 1: My queer awakening was about early nineties when I was a 531 00:19:43,096 --> 00:19:49,915 Listener 1: youngin, probably eight or nine when, uh, Death Becomes Her was 532 00:19:49,915 --> 00:19:57,195 Listener 1: a big hit and I fell in love with Meryl Streep. 533 00:19:57,195 --> 00:20:04,435 Listener 1: She was my first crush, and it doesn't hurt that Isabella 534 00:20:04,435 --> 00:20:10,036 Listener 1: Rossellini is one of the most gorgeous women in the world. 535 00:20:10,036 --> 00:20:15,516 Listener 1: And Goldie Hawn and I knew from then on that I was different. 536 00:20:15,355 --> 00:20:19,635 Listener 2: I remember specifically being at my friend's house after church, 537 00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:22,435 Listener 2: and she was trying on a dress because she was trying to 538 00:20:22,435 --> 00:20:24,756 Listener 2: impress a boy at church. 539 00:20:24,756 --> 00:20:26,276 Listener 2: She looked so good in it. 540 00:20:26,276 --> 00:20:28,236 Listener 2: And I looked at her, and I felt 541 00:20:28,236 --> 00:20:29,836 Listener 2: the shame that I should not be 542 00:20:29,836 --> 00:20:31,556 Listener 2: looking at her, because it 543 00:20:31,556 --> 00:20:34,036 Listener 2: wasn't in a friendly way and I 544 00:20:34,036 --> 00:20:35,435 Listener 2: knew I was gay, at least 545 00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:36,715 Listener 2: partially. 546 00:20:36,715 --> 00:20:40,395 Listener 2: I identify as Pan now, but yeah, I knew I wasn't straight. 547 00:20:40,236 --> 00:20:44,236 Listener 3: I have a bad coming out story and a good coming out story, so 548 00:20:44,236 --> 00:20:47,036 Listener 3: we'll go with the bad first. 549 00:20:47,036 --> 00:20:52,135 Listener 3: I realized in sixth grade that I was not straight because 550 00:20:52,135 --> 00:20:57,796 Listener 3: somebody called me a name, called me a carpet muncher. 551 00:20:57,796 --> 00:20:58,875 Listener 3: Right. 552 00:20:58,875 --> 00:20:59,955 Listener 3: Of all things. 553 00:20:59,955 --> 00:21:04,036 Listener 3: And I was like, oh, shit, that might be me. 554 00:21:05,836 --> 00:21:08,355 Listener 3: Nobody would worry about this if. 555 00:21:08,355 --> 00:21:10,435 Listener 3: If it wasn't them. 556 00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:13,796 Listener 3: And then my second one, when I 557 00:21:13,796 --> 00:21:16,675 Listener 3: came out to my mom, she said, 558 00:21:16,675 --> 00:21:18,516 Listener 3: well, at least you won't get 559 00:21:18,516 --> 00:21:19,316 Listener 3: pregnant. 560 00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:28,635 Listener 4: Some of you know me as Nexus or Midnight Nexus, and I never 561 00:21:28,635 --> 00:21:31,836 Listener 4: really had an epiphany moment. 562 00:21:31,836 --> 00:21:35,195 Listener 4: I think I always kind of knew that across the board, I was 563 00:21:35,195 --> 00:21:39,556 Listener 4: more attracted to the person within than the visual. 564 00:21:39,556 --> 00:21:44,195 Listener 4: My oldest was three years old, and they walked up to me and 565 00:21:44,195 --> 00:21:47,476 Listener 4: said, mommy, I think I'm a girl on the inside. 566 00:21:47,476 --> 00:21:51,675 Listener 4: And my response was, that's okay. 567 00:21:51,675 --> 00:21:52,875 Listener 4: I said, as long as you're 568 00:21:52,875 --> 00:21:53,996 Listener 4: yourself, you don't hurt 569 00:21:53,996 --> 00:21:55,276 Listener 4: yourself and you don't hurt 570 00:21:55,276 --> 00:21:57,195 Listener 4: other people. 571 00:21:57,195 --> 00:21:58,955 Listener 4: You could do whatever you want 572 00:21:58,955 --> 00:22:00,816 Listener 4: and that I supported them, I 573 00:22:00,816 --> 00:22:02,516 Listener 4: love them, I wanted them to know 574 00:22:02,516 --> 00:22:04,516 Listener 4: that they weren't alone in that 575 00:22:04,516 --> 00:22:06,596 Listener 4: process, though I learned a lot 576 00:22:06,596 --> 00:22:08,036 Listener 4: about myself. 577 00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:11,855 Listener 4: I started questioning who I was, 578 00:22:11,855 --> 00:22:14,695 Listener 4: who I wanted to be with, kind of 579 00:22:14,695 --> 00:22:16,855 Listener 4: exploring myself as a person 580 00:22:16,855 --> 00:22:18,875 Listener 4: like it opened so many doors for 581 00:22:18,875 --> 00:22:21,715 Listener 4: me to find out who I was, and it 582 00:22:21,715 --> 00:22:23,276 Listener 4: gave me an opportunity to 583 00:22:23,276 --> 00:22:25,635 Listener 4: explore areas I didn't know 584 00:22:25,635 --> 00:22:27,236 Listener 4: existed, people I didn't know 585 00:22:27,236 --> 00:22:29,596 Listener 4: existed, communities. 586 00:22:29,596 --> 00:22:34,996 Listener 4: So no really great epiphany, just a gradual growth of a human 587 00:22:34,996 --> 00:22:38,556 Listener 4: being that I wanted to be and who I wanted to support. 588 00:22:38,556 --> 00:22:42,395 Listener 4: In doing so, I kind of supported myself more and more and more 589 00:22:42,395 --> 00:22:44,715 Listener 4: and accepted myself more. 590 00:22:44,715 --> 00:22:48,036 Listener 4: Um, I am a proud pansexual individual. 591 00:22:48,036 --> 00:22:53,435 Listener 4: She they pronouns and a lover of life and people and animals. 592 00:22:53,435 --> 00:22:54,355 Listener 4: Mostly animals. 593 00:22:54,355 --> 00:22:55,355 Listener 4: Some people. 594 00:22:57,955 --> 00:23:00,036 Listener 4: But, um, at the end of the day, 595 00:23:00,036 --> 00:23:02,455 Listener 4: I think, um, I have a lot to 596 00:23:02,455 --> 00:23:02,996 Listener 4: thank. 597 00:23:02,996 --> 00:23:06,635 Listener 4: My oldest, um, and all of this 598 00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:08,596 Listener 4: because they helped me grow into 599 00:23:08,596 --> 00:23:11,435 Listener 4: the person I am today and gave 600 00:23:11,435 --> 00:23:13,476 Listener 4: me an opportunity that I don't 601 00:23:13,476 --> 00:23:14,955 Listener 4: think I would have given myself 602 00:23:14,955 --> 00:23:15,955 Listener 4: without them. 603 00:23:19,556 --> 00:23:24,195 Listener 5: I think one of the biggest realizations I had was when I 604 00:23:24,195 --> 00:23:31,195 Listener 5: stumbled across an old poem that I wrote in an old journal, uh, 605 00:23:31,195 --> 00:23:33,435 Listener 5: when I was very drunk. 606 00:23:33,435 --> 00:23:39,056 Listener 5: I had completely forgotten about it, but when I reread it, I. It 607 00:23:39,056 --> 00:23:42,355 Listener 5: helped me realize that I've known something about myself for 608 00:23:42,355 --> 00:23:43,516 Listener 5: a long time. 609 00:23:44,236 --> 00:23:45,596 Listener 6: My story? 610 00:23:45,596 --> 00:23:53,115 Listener 6: Well, I was a junior in high school, And I had a crush on a 611 00:23:53,115 --> 00:23:59,056 Listener 6: girl, but I didn't move forward, and one of my besties who was 612 00:23:59,056 --> 00:24:03,355 Listener 6: gay was like, girl, come on now you can do it. 613 00:24:03,355 --> 00:24:04,796 Listener 6: You just gotta ask her. 614 00:24:04,796 --> 00:24:09,155 Listener 6: Well, long story short, I dropped my drink on the floor 615 00:24:09,155 --> 00:24:12,155 Listener 6: and as we were cleaning it up, I was like, would you like to go 616 00:24:12,155 --> 00:24:13,395 Listener 6: to the movies? 617 00:24:13,395 --> 00:24:16,236 Listener 6: And she was like, Cindy, I love you as a friend. 618 00:24:16,236 --> 00:24:17,715 Listener 6: And I was like, okay. 619 00:24:17,715 --> 00:24:20,076 Listener 6: And ever since then, I've, you 620 00:24:20,076 --> 00:24:21,895 Listener 6: know, been an ally and an 621 00:24:21,895 --> 00:24:22,556 Listener 6: advocate. 622 00:24:22,556 --> 00:24:26,955 Listener 6: I, um, been only in, I guess you 623 00:24:26,955 --> 00:24:28,955 Listener 6: would say, relationships with 624 00:24:28,955 --> 00:24:29,596 Listener 6: men. 625 00:24:29,596 --> 00:24:32,395 Listener 6: Um, but that girl is one of my besties. 626 00:24:32,395 --> 00:24:34,076 Listener 6: Forever and a day. 627 00:24:34,076 --> 00:24:36,076 Listener 6: Um, my ride or die. 628 00:24:36,076 --> 00:24:42,195 Listener 6: If I need something, I do call her, and we just, you know, I 629 00:24:42,195 --> 00:24:43,316 Listener 6: just do what I do. 630 00:24:45,996 --> 00:24:49,875 Listener 6: Not really a epiphany, but, you know, it is what it is. 631 00:24:50,115 --> 00:24:53,576 Listener 7: Hey everyone, it's MD. So my gay 632 00:24:53,576 --> 00:24:56,675 Listener 7: awakening queer epiphany was a 633 00:24:56,675 --> 00:24:58,195 Listener 7: funny one. 634 00:24:58,195 --> 00:25:03,316 Listener 7: Um, I'd always kind of thought that I was, um, because I had 635 00:25:03,316 --> 00:25:07,516 Listener 7: always found boys and guys my age and older attractive and 636 00:25:07,516 --> 00:25:14,596 Listener 7: whatnot, but my, like, really set in stone gay awakening was 637 00:25:14,596 --> 00:25:20,276 Listener 7: that my wife's brother was my first male crush. 638 00:25:26,316 --> 00:25:26,836 Wendy: Oh. 639 00:25:27,796 --> 00:25:28,915 Wendy: The tea. 640 00:25:30,316 --> 00:25:31,076 Siren: The tea. 641 00:25:31,076 --> 00:25:33,036 Siren: The tea is so good. 642 00:25:33,036 --> 00:25:34,115 Siren: So good. 643 00:25:34,076 --> 00:25:34,675 Wendy: Wow. 644 00:25:35,236 --> 00:25:37,036 Wendy: Those were so good. 645 00:25:36,875 --> 00:25:38,236 Siren: They were so sweet. 646 00:25:38,236 --> 00:25:39,635 Siren: I love how different they all were. 647 00:25:39,635 --> 00:25:43,195 Siren: Every single one had that moment of, like, finally feeling like 648 00:25:43,195 --> 00:25:44,036 Siren: they see themselves. 649 00:25:44,036 --> 00:25:44,236 Siren: That. 650 00:25:44,236 --> 00:25:45,036 Siren: Like that moment. 651 00:25:45,036 --> 00:25:47,476 Siren: I really liked the middle one 652 00:25:47,476 --> 00:25:48,955 Siren: two with talking about her 653 00:25:48,955 --> 00:25:49,875 Siren: daughter. 654 00:25:50,355 --> 00:25:51,236 Wendy: Yeah. 655 00:25:51,435 --> 00:25:53,875 Siren: And how that opened her eyes to so much. 656 00:25:54,516 --> 00:25:55,316 Wendy: It's so. 657 00:25:55,316 --> 00:25:56,955 Wendy: It's so cool when, like, your 658 00:25:56,955 --> 00:25:58,476 Wendy: kid can teach you something 659 00:25:58,476 --> 00:25:59,635 Wendy: like. 660 00:25:59,635 --> 00:26:05,516 Wendy: And open up these boxes in categories in yourself that you 661 00:26:05,516 --> 00:26:08,675 Wendy: didn't even know needed to be opened and unlocked. 662 00:26:08,675 --> 00:26:09,435 Wendy: It's so cool. 663 00:26:09,435 --> 00:26:13,155 Wendy: And they're all, I mean, it's a 664 00:26:13,155 --> 00:26:15,076 Wendy: representation isn't just about 665 00:26:15,076 --> 00:26:16,516 Wendy: visibility, it's about 666 00:26:16,516 --> 00:26:17,355 Wendy: recognition. 667 00:26:17,355 --> 00:26:20,516 Wendy: And they're recognizing these little intricate things about 668 00:26:20,516 --> 00:26:21,915 Wendy: theirself is really cool. 669 00:26:22,556 --> 00:26:23,236 Siren: Yeah. 670 00:26:23,355 --> 00:26:25,915 Wendy: I agree that your kid made you realize that. 671 00:26:25,915 --> 00:26:27,435 Wendy: How fucking great. 672 00:26:27,435 --> 00:26:30,875 Wendy: That's a that's like a reflection of how you are as a 673 00:26:30,875 --> 00:26:32,276 Wendy: parent, I feel. 674 00:26:32,556 --> 00:26:33,195 Siren: Yeah. 675 00:26:34,236 --> 00:26:35,556 Wendy: Yeah. That's awesome. 676 00:26:35,836 --> 00:26:36,635 Siren: That's amazing. 677 00:26:36,635 --> 00:26:38,316 Siren: So, Wendy. 678 00:26:38,915 --> 00:26:40,155 Wendy: Yes. My love. 679 00:26:40,115 --> 00:26:41,556 Siren: Was your queer awakening. 680 00:26:41,556 --> 00:26:42,596 Siren: Was your queer epiphany? 681 00:26:42,596 --> 00:26:45,516 Siren: What was your your, uh. 682 00:26:45,516 --> 00:26:47,516 Siren: I don't know your media awakening. 683 00:26:47,316 --> 00:26:50,476 Wendy: There's a few I told you all one yesterday, so I'm gonna go with 684 00:26:50,476 --> 00:26:52,115 Wendy: a different one. 685 00:26:52,115 --> 00:26:55,596 Wendy: Has anyone ever seen Jia? 686 00:26:56,796 --> 00:27:00,635 Wendy: It has Angelina Jolie in it, and she plays a model. 687 00:27:02,236 --> 00:27:05,435 Wendy: Um. And it's like a it's like a really? 688 00:27:05,435 --> 00:27:06,476 Wendy: Yeah, it's called Jia. 689 00:27:06,476 --> 00:27:08,195 Wendy: It's a really early. 690 00:27:08,195 --> 00:27:11,036 Wendy: Everyone over here saying yes, yes, yes, yes. 691 00:27:11,036 --> 00:27:16,915 Wendy: So she's a model that actually died of HIV. 692 00:27:16,915 --> 00:27:19,395 Wendy: It was from drug use. 693 00:27:19,395 --> 00:27:20,996 Wendy: Based off a true story. 694 00:27:20,996 --> 00:27:23,516 Wendy: It was such a good movie. 695 00:27:23,516 --> 00:27:27,195 Wendy: But she's very, like, provocative. 696 00:27:27,195 --> 00:27:29,355 Wendy: And don't ask me why. 697 00:27:29,355 --> 00:27:30,556 Wendy: And don't fucking judge me. 698 00:27:30,556 --> 00:27:31,796 Wendy: This is a judge free zone. 699 00:27:31,796 --> 00:27:33,195 Wendy: But oh yeah, she like. 700 00:27:33,036 --> 00:27:33,635 Siren: Of course. 701 00:27:33,476 --> 00:27:36,596 Wendy: Cried in the movie and I just thought her cry was just very 702 00:27:36,596 --> 00:27:41,596 Wendy: sexy and like, there was titties and up against the fence. 703 00:27:41,596 --> 00:27:42,915 Wendy: And it was just. 704 00:27:43,395 --> 00:27:48,715 Siren: I mean, Angelina Jolie is is so hot. 705 00:27:48,756 --> 00:27:49,915 Wendy: Like so. 706 00:27:49,756 --> 00:27:51,355 Siren: Hot. Oh my God. 707 00:27:51,556 --> 00:27:55,195 Wendy: And this was like Angelina Jolie back in the day. 708 00:27:55,195 --> 00:27:56,915 Wendy: And she was. 709 00:27:56,915 --> 00:27:57,476 Wendy: Oh my God. 710 00:27:57,476 --> 00:28:00,796 Wendy: Still banging but so fucking beautiful. 711 00:28:00,796 --> 00:28:05,516 Wendy: And her voice and just she cried in the movie and I was just 712 00:28:05,516 --> 00:28:07,836 Wendy: like, oh my fucking God. 713 00:28:07,836 --> 00:28:09,236 Wendy: My cooter tingled. 714 00:28:10,476 --> 00:28:11,596 Wendy: I'm just saying. 715 00:28:11,596 --> 00:28:13,476 Siren: We. I feel like every episode 716 00:28:13,476 --> 00:28:14,955 Siren: now we have talked about Cooter 717 00:28:14,955 --> 00:28:15,675 Siren: tingles. 718 00:28:15,675 --> 00:28:17,635 Siren: So this is this is exciting. 719 00:28:17,635 --> 00:28:19,675 Siren: This is really exciting. 720 00:28:19,675 --> 00:28:26,915 Siren: For me, it's very much a sorting out of the women that I had a 721 00:28:26,915 --> 00:28:30,596 Siren: crush on and the ones that I wanted to be. 722 00:28:31,476 --> 00:28:32,355 Wendy: Yeah. 723 00:28:32,955 --> 00:28:42,076 Siren: Because so much of me knew that she couldn't be one, so I forced 724 00:28:42,076 --> 00:28:43,875 Siren: that out as an option. 725 00:28:43,875 --> 00:28:47,875 Siren: Yeah, but I'd still have these attractions to someone that I 726 00:28:47,875 --> 00:28:51,516 Siren: didn't know how to categorize other than, oh, I guess I must 727 00:28:51,516 --> 00:28:53,915 Siren: be, like, physically attracted to you, I guess. 728 00:28:54,236 --> 00:28:54,996 Wendy: Yeah. 729 00:28:54,836 --> 00:28:57,635 Siren: Angelina Jolie was never the one. 730 00:28:57,635 --> 00:28:59,476 Siren: Oh, like I want to be her. 731 00:28:59,476 --> 00:29:03,476 Siren: She was always the one is like I. Yes. 732 00:29:03,476 --> 00:29:05,796 Siren: Like just like us. 733 00:29:06,915 --> 00:29:07,915 Siren: So I get you. 734 00:29:08,076 --> 00:29:12,076 Wendy: Charlize Theron. Oh my God. 735 00:29:12,076 --> 00:29:12,395 Wendy: Which? 736 00:29:12,395 --> 00:29:15,875 Wendy: They're both actually dating women right now, apparently. 737 00:29:16,276 --> 00:29:17,236 Siren: For real? 738 00:29:17,395 --> 00:29:18,516 Wendy: Yes. In real life. 739 00:29:18,516 --> 00:29:19,076 Wendy: For real. 740 00:29:19,076 --> 00:29:21,796 Wendy: I've just seen this in the last week with both of them. 741 00:29:21,796 --> 00:29:23,915 Siren: That's incredible, I love this. 742 00:29:25,395 --> 00:29:27,355 Wendy: Go watch Atomic Blonde if you haven't seen that. 743 00:29:27,355 --> 00:29:28,435 Wendy: Oh my God. 744 00:29:28,276 --> 00:29:29,836 Siren: I'll have to add it to my list for sure. 745 00:29:29,836 --> 00:29:32,076 Siren: Tomb Raider oh my god, tomb Raider. 746 00:29:32,036 --> 00:29:33,276 Wendy: Not Tomb raider. 747 00:29:33,115 --> 00:29:34,276 Siren: Tomb raider. 748 00:29:35,556 --> 00:29:36,635 Wendy: Lara croft. 749 00:29:36,635 --> 00:29:37,155 Wendy: Oh. 750 00:29:37,715 --> 00:29:38,476 Siren: That's not fair. 751 00:29:38,476 --> 00:29:39,635 Siren: Don't do this to me. 752 00:29:39,556 --> 00:29:40,355 Wendy: Me up! 753 00:29:40,195 --> 00:29:41,395 Siren: Don't do this to me. 754 00:29:41,675 --> 00:29:42,675 Wendy: It's hot in here. 755 00:29:42,675 --> 00:29:43,516 Wendy: It's hot in here. 756 00:29:43,355 --> 00:29:44,155 Siren: Oh my gosh. 757 00:29:44,155 --> 00:29:49,236 Siren: Honestly, one of my main ones, though, um, for this was one of 758 00:29:49,236 --> 00:29:52,715 Siren: the ones that was hard to to just to discern whether or not 759 00:29:52,715 --> 00:29:55,596 Siren: it was someone I wanted to be or someone that I had a crush on. 760 00:29:55,596 --> 00:30:01,435 Siren: But Melissa Joan Hart in Sabrina the Teenage Witch was so much my 761 00:30:01,435 --> 00:30:02,715 Siren: queer awakening story. 762 00:30:02,715 --> 00:30:06,236 Siren: Like, oh my God, there was, there was. 763 00:30:06,236 --> 00:30:08,576 Siren: I remember very vividly a 764 00:30:08,576 --> 00:30:11,476 Siren: picture of her from Sabrina the 765 00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:15,316 Siren: Teenage Witch in a Nick magazine 766 00:30:15,316 --> 00:30:16,915 Siren: Where she was sitting on a 767 00:30:16,915 --> 00:30:17,836 Siren: broomstick. 768 00:30:20,435 --> 00:30:25,076 Siren: And oh my God, how desperately I wanted to be that broomstick. 769 00:30:25,076 --> 00:30:26,115 Siren: You know what I mean? 770 00:30:26,115 --> 00:30:26,756 Siren: Like. 771 00:30:27,516 --> 00:30:29,756 Wendy: You know what I have, like, 772 00:30:29,756 --> 00:30:34,355 Wendy: realized lately in my later life 773 00:30:34,355 --> 00:30:40,036 Wendy: that I really am, I think, 774 00:30:40,036 --> 00:30:41,675 Wendy: androgynous. 775 00:30:43,675 --> 00:30:50,236 Wendy: Um, they're not like, they're not trans, but they're, what do 776 00:30:50,236 --> 00:30:50,996 Wendy: you call it? 777 00:30:50,996 --> 00:30:51,836 Wendy: Androgynous. 778 00:30:51,836 --> 00:30:52,955 Wendy: If it was like. 779 00:30:55,715 --> 00:31:03,435 Wendy: A man that is not transitioned but is very, like, feminine in 780 00:31:03,435 --> 00:31:05,675 Wendy: some sort of ways, but it kind of does them both. 781 00:31:05,675 --> 00:31:10,496 Wendy: I just find that really, like sexy that they hone into that 782 00:31:10,496 --> 00:31:11,875 Wendy: like side of theirself. 783 00:31:11,875 --> 00:31:14,996 Wendy: There's like there's okay. 784 00:31:14,996 --> 00:31:18,955 Wendy: Like let me give you like Rocky Horror Picture Show. 785 00:31:20,355 --> 00:31:26,016 Wendy: You know, like, how could you just how could you not think 786 00:31:26,016 --> 00:31:27,316 Wendy: what's his name from. 787 00:31:27,115 --> 00:31:28,435 Siren: Rocky Horror Picture Show? 788 00:31:28,556 --> 00:31:29,395 Wendy: Yes. 789 00:31:29,316 --> 00:31:34,276 Siren: Oh my gosh, the main guy, uh, Frank and Frank-n-furter. 790 00:31:35,236 --> 00:31:35,875 Wendy: Uh. 791 00:31:36,195 --> 00:31:36,955 Siren: No. 792 00:31:37,516 --> 00:31:38,915 Wendy: His Tim Curry. 793 00:31:38,756 --> 00:31:39,715 Siren: Tim Curry. 794 00:31:39,715 --> 00:31:41,476 Siren: Oh, you meant the actual actor. 795 00:31:41,476 --> 00:31:42,236 Siren: Sorry. 796 00:31:42,076 --> 00:31:43,796 Wendy: Yes. Tim Curry, Tim curry. 797 00:31:43,675 --> 00:31:46,435 Siren: So I don't think I've seen the actual movie. 798 00:31:46,276 --> 00:31:48,195 Wendy: We're gonna have to talk about your movie. 799 00:31:47,996 --> 00:31:51,435 Siren: I've seen it performed two dozen times. 800 00:31:51,276 --> 00:31:52,036 Wendy: Not the same. 801 00:31:52,036 --> 00:31:53,195 Wendy: It's not the same. 802 00:31:53,516 --> 00:31:55,915 Siren: I believe you, but I have. 803 00:31:55,756 --> 00:31:56,435 Wendy: It's cool. 804 00:31:56,435 --> 00:31:58,596 Wendy: It's really cool to see it, like, performed. 805 00:31:58,596 --> 00:32:00,675 Wendy: But you have to watch the original. 806 00:32:01,316 --> 00:32:02,435 Siren: I mean, valid, valid. 807 00:32:02,435 --> 00:32:05,596 Siren: I never, so I never really had huge crushes on men. 808 00:32:05,596 --> 00:32:07,316 Siren: I never have had crushes on men. 809 00:32:07,316 --> 00:32:08,836 Siren: Like physical crushes on men. 810 00:32:08,915 --> 00:32:09,675 Wendy: It's not real. 811 00:32:09,675 --> 00:32:13,236 Wendy: I don't know I don't know if it's like a crush or if it's 812 00:32:13,236 --> 00:32:14,715 Wendy: like, you know what? 813 00:32:14,715 --> 00:32:15,435 Wendy: Hell, yeah. 814 00:32:15,435 --> 00:32:16,395 Wendy: You know what I mean? 815 00:32:17,316 --> 00:32:19,115 Siren: Like like a like a. Hear me out. 816 00:32:19,115 --> 00:32:20,195 Siren: Cake style. 817 00:32:20,435 --> 00:32:21,476 Wendy: Yes. 818 00:32:21,316 --> 00:32:24,316 Siren: Okay. Interesting. Interesting. 819 00:32:24,316 --> 00:32:28,155 Siren: So we're thinking like a hear me out cake. 820 00:32:28,155 --> 00:32:34,115 Siren: But for men that a lesbian would sleep with. 821 00:32:34,115 --> 00:32:35,596 Wendy: Oh, no. 822 00:32:35,395 --> 00:32:36,435 Siren: So he would be on your. 823 00:32:36,435 --> 00:32:37,955 Siren: Hear me out cake for that. 824 00:32:38,596 --> 00:32:41,756 Wendy: I don't know that I would sleep. 825 00:32:42,915 --> 00:32:45,155 Wendy: Maybe have a good makeout session. 826 00:32:44,996 --> 00:32:45,476 Siren: A good. 827 00:32:45,476 --> 00:32:46,715 Siren: Okay. That's that's different. 828 00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:47,276 Siren: Absolutely. 829 00:32:47,276 --> 00:32:48,036 Siren: That's so different. 830 00:32:48,036 --> 00:32:48,796 Siren: That's so different. 831 00:32:48,796 --> 00:32:50,276 Siren: Like a good makeout sesh. 832 00:32:50,276 --> 00:32:50,596 Siren: Yeah. 833 00:32:50,596 --> 00:32:51,276 Siren: Okay. 834 00:32:51,276 --> 00:32:52,955 Siren: Maybe some, like, booty touching. 835 00:32:53,476 --> 00:32:55,195 Wendy: David Bowie in the labyrinth. 836 00:32:55,036 --> 00:32:56,355 Siren: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 837 00:32:56,355 --> 00:32:57,955 Siren: David Bowie in the labyrinth. 838 00:32:57,955 --> 00:33:00,875 Siren: Okay, I none of this hits for me. 839 00:33:01,635 --> 00:33:02,715 Wendy: No. Yeah. No. 840 00:33:02,556 --> 00:33:06,915 Siren: For me personally, no, none of that hits for me personally. 841 00:33:06,915 --> 00:33:10,395 Siren: Uh, I can say without without Without a doubt. 842 00:33:10,395 --> 00:33:11,435 Siren: Uh, but that's fine. 843 00:33:11,435 --> 00:33:12,635 Siren: We were allowed to be different. 844 00:33:12,635 --> 00:33:13,076 Siren: Babe. 845 00:33:13,076 --> 00:33:13,836 Siren: That's allowed. 846 00:33:13,675 --> 00:33:14,875 Wendy: Yes. Yes, yes. 847 00:33:14,875 --> 00:33:17,155 Siren: Yeah. Uh. Who else? 848 00:33:18,635 --> 00:33:22,435 Siren: Anybody else on your list of, like me along. 849 00:33:22,435 --> 00:33:23,355 Siren: Me along? 850 00:33:23,556 --> 00:33:28,635 Wendy: No, no. Ni along a beautiful black queen. 851 00:33:28,635 --> 00:33:30,316 Wendy: Uh. Me along? 852 00:33:30,316 --> 00:33:31,115 Wendy: Yes. 853 00:33:30,955 --> 00:33:34,596 Siren: So what else do we want to talk about in this part? 854 00:33:34,435 --> 00:33:37,036 Wendy: Who were you obsessed with in childhood? 855 00:33:37,076 --> 00:33:37,756 Siren: Oh my gosh. 856 00:33:37,756 --> 00:33:38,796 Siren: The thing that came to mind when 857 00:33:38,796 --> 00:33:40,915 Siren: you asked that question was the 858 00:33:40,915 --> 00:33:42,115 Siren: Power Rangers. 859 00:33:41,955 --> 00:33:44,236 Wendy: I tight little, right. 860 00:33:44,036 --> 00:33:46,556 Siren: But like, I always wanted to be the Pink Ranger or the Yellow 861 00:33:46,556 --> 00:33:47,955 Siren: Ranger, but wasn't allowed. 862 00:33:48,195 --> 00:33:49,036 Wendy: Exactly. 863 00:33:48,875 --> 00:33:49,516 Siren: Do you know what I mean? 864 00:33:49,516 --> 00:33:51,996 Siren: But you kind of could because you had the mask on. 865 00:33:52,395 --> 00:33:55,236 Wendy: Yeah, you could be anyone you wanted to be under there. 866 00:33:55,236 --> 00:33:57,115 Wendy: Yeah, I'm just saying. 867 00:33:56,955 --> 00:33:58,596 Siren: Um, that's an interesting question. 868 00:33:58,596 --> 00:34:02,076 Siren: Yeah, I could have overanalyzed the fuck out of that for sure. 869 00:34:02,395 --> 00:34:03,556 Wendy: Punky Brewster. 870 00:34:03,395 --> 00:34:04,516 Siren: I don't I don't can't even 871 00:34:04,516 --> 00:34:05,836 Siren: picture a face when you say 872 00:34:05,836 --> 00:34:06,435 Siren: that. 873 00:34:06,276 --> 00:34:07,076 Wendy: You know what? 874 00:34:06,915 --> 00:34:08,516 Siren: I have a different pop culture reference. 875 00:34:08,516 --> 00:34:14,155 Siren: I'm sorry, I have a different pop culture encyclopedia to pull 876 00:34:14,155 --> 00:34:17,876 Siren: from that encyclopedia. 877 00:34:18,556 --> 00:34:19,996 Wendy: Oh my goodness. 878 00:34:19,996 --> 00:34:20,715 Wendy: I'm just saying. 879 00:34:20,715 --> 00:34:24,516 Wendy: Punky Brewster I. She had a real she. 880 00:34:24,516 --> 00:34:26,516 Wendy: Her name is like, really cool in real life. 881 00:34:26,516 --> 00:34:27,996 Wendy: Who remembers her name? 882 00:34:29,235 --> 00:34:32,556 Wendy: Who remembers that name? 883 00:34:32,396 --> 00:34:35,036 Siren: Soleil moon Frye. 884 00:34:35,436 --> 00:34:38,916 Wendy: Yes. Such a cool name. 885 00:34:39,115 --> 00:34:42,076 Siren: Um, I think one of the things that would be worth mentioning 886 00:34:42,076 --> 00:34:48,076 Siren: here, how much nowadays, when we're looking into pop culture, 887 00:34:48,076 --> 00:34:53,556 Siren: the people that kids are having their gay awakenings to are 888 00:34:53,556 --> 00:34:56,275 Siren: likely like out people. 889 00:34:56,675 --> 00:34:57,596 Wendy: Billie Eilish. 890 00:34:57,436 --> 00:34:58,076 Siren: You know what I mean? 891 00:34:58,076 --> 00:35:01,596 Siren: Like, there there are people who are out and openly gay, openly 892 00:35:01,596 --> 00:35:02,675 Siren: queer, openly themselves. 893 00:35:02,675 --> 00:35:06,516 Siren: It's not like this closeted crush on some. 894 00:35:06,516 --> 00:35:09,356 Siren: hot celeb that has three kids 895 00:35:09,356 --> 00:35:12,016 Siren: with her, you know, twenty year 896 00:35:12,016 --> 00:35:13,235 Siren: older boyfriend. 897 00:35:13,596 --> 00:35:14,315 Wendy: Yeah. 898 00:35:14,596 --> 00:35:19,916 Siren: It's a different world out there, which is kind of cool in 899 00:35:19,916 --> 00:35:20,596 Siren: a lot of ways. 900 00:35:20,596 --> 00:35:24,835 Siren: I don't know, like, I feel like the the visibility that it 901 00:35:24,835 --> 00:35:26,315 Siren: creates is amazing. 902 00:35:26,315 --> 00:35:30,596 Siren: I feel like where it allows kind 903 00:35:30,596 --> 00:35:31,835 Siren: of culture to take a deep breath 904 00:35:31,835 --> 00:35:32,795 Siren: is amazing. 905 00:35:32,996 --> 00:35:33,635 Wendy: Yeah. 906 00:35:33,876 --> 00:35:38,135 Siren: But I don't know, could you what could you imagine, like having 907 00:35:38,135 --> 00:35:41,795 Siren: out role models to look up to when you were younger? 908 00:35:41,635 --> 00:35:43,315 Wendy: No, I didn't have any. 909 00:35:43,315 --> 00:35:44,675 Wendy: I didn't know anyone. 910 00:35:44,675 --> 00:35:46,036 Wendy: Can I tell you about a story? 911 00:35:46,115 --> 00:35:46,795 Siren: Yeah, absolutely. 912 00:35:46,795 --> 00:35:47,795 Siren: That's why we're asking. 913 00:35:47,635 --> 00:35:50,155 Wendy: A friend of mine was. 914 00:35:50,155 --> 00:35:54,615 Wendy: Okay. Her name is Michi m I c h 915 00:35:54,615 --> 00:35:59,835 Wendy: I, and, um, she knew that she 916 00:35:59,835 --> 00:36:00,916 Wendy: was. 917 00:36:00,916 --> 00:36:05,815 Wendy: I don't know if she was gay or pan or whatever way before I 918 00:36:05,815 --> 00:36:10,715 Wendy: knew, way before I knew, and we were like besties. 919 00:36:10,715 --> 00:36:12,516 Wendy: I was over her house all the time. 920 00:36:12,516 --> 00:36:15,396 Wendy: Like I hung out when she went to like her dad's on the weekend 921 00:36:15,396 --> 00:36:22,976 Wendy: because her parents were divorced and one time she, like, 922 00:36:22,976 --> 00:36:26,755 Wendy: touched my butt or something, and I was just like, whoa. 923 00:36:27,795 --> 00:36:31,396 Wendy: Like, I was just so offended by that notion. 924 00:36:31,396 --> 00:36:33,556 Wendy: Well, number one, consent is a big thing. 925 00:36:33,556 --> 00:36:35,275 Wendy: But like. 926 00:36:35,275 --> 00:36:39,056 Wendy: But we were like friends for years, so like, okay, you smack 927 00:36:39,056 --> 00:36:41,556 Wendy: your friends, but every now and again it's fine. 928 00:36:41,556 --> 00:36:45,396 Wendy: But it's like I was so like against that. 929 00:36:45,396 --> 00:36:50,356 Wendy: At that point in time, I was like thirteen or maybe even 930 00:36:50,356 --> 00:36:53,835 Wendy: younger, maybe eleven, eleven or twelve, I don't know. 931 00:36:53,835 --> 00:36:57,215 Wendy: I just felt like I was I didn't realize it yet then, but I also 932 00:36:57,215 --> 00:37:01,635 Wendy: was like on a basketball team in school and in the locker room. 933 00:37:01,635 --> 00:37:06,036 Wendy: I was just like noticing the other girls in there with me. 934 00:37:06,036 --> 00:37:08,476 Wendy: And I was just like, what? 935 00:37:08,476 --> 00:37:10,436 Wendy: And I, I think, like. 936 00:37:10,275 --> 00:37:13,335 Siren: So you kind of realize when someone else touched your butt 937 00:37:13,335 --> 00:37:17,036 Siren: that you realize you were feeling something different than 938 00:37:17,036 --> 00:37:21,076 Siren: what most girls felt when another girl touched their butt. 939 00:37:21,436 --> 00:37:23,996 Wendy: But I just thought I was bisexual for years. 940 00:37:23,996 --> 00:37:26,516 Wendy: But I'd never been with a woman. 941 00:37:26,516 --> 00:37:27,675 Wendy: And then when I was with a 942 00:37:27,675 --> 00:37:28,916 Wendy: woman, like that was all it 943 00:37:28,916 --> 00:37:29,155 Wendy: took. 944 00:37:29,155 --> 00:37:31,715 Wendy: It was one time and I was like, oh, yeah, this is for me. 945 00:37:31,715 --> 00:37:32,556 Wendy: We're not. 946 00:37:32,556 --> 00:37:34,596 Wendy: Oh, we're not going back. 947 00:37:34,596 --> 00:37:36,036 Wendy: Yeah, we're not going back. 948 00:37:36,036 --> 00:37:38,195 Wendy: That's not going to happen again. 949 00:37:38,195 --> 00:37:43,235 Wendy: But I appreciate handsome men for handsome man. 950 00:37:43,556 --> 00:37:46,315 Siren: Yeah. I think it took me for men to realize I didn't need men 951 00:37:46,315 --> 00:37:48,275 Siren: anymore for the most part. 952 00:37:48,115 --> 00:37:48,755 Wendy: Definitely. 953 00:37:48,755 --> 00:37:49,996 Wendy: Definitely not a gold star. 954 00:37:49,996 --> 00:37:51,635 Wendy: Definitely not a gold star around here. 955 00:37:51,635 --> 00:37:56,096 Wendy: I was definitely trying to adhere to what I thought society 956 00:37:56,096 --> 00:37:57,396 Wendy: wanted me to be. 957 00:37:57,396 --> 00:37:58,396 Wendy: No, you know. 958 00:37:59,235 --> 00:38:00,516 Siren: We've been throwing out a we've 959 00:38:00,516 --> 00:38:01,436 Siren: been throwing out a lot of 960 00:38:01,436 --> 00:38:02,596 Siren: glossary terms. 961 00:38:02,596 --> 00:38:05,916 Siren: I feel like this episode, and I've been thinking about maybe a 962 00:38:05,916 --> 00:38:10,715 Siren: new segment of the podcast in the future where we go over like 963 00:38:10,715 --> 00:38:17,835 Siren: a couple, a couple weird, like words from gay lexicon. 964 00:38:17,835 --> 00:38:18,556 Siren: Yeah. 965 00:38:18,556 --> 00:38:19,436 Siren: Do you know what I mean? 966 00:38:19,436 --> 00:38:20,195 Siren: Like that. 967 00:38:19,996 --> 00:38:20,675 Wendy: Sounds good. 968 00:38:20,516 --> 00:38:23,115 Siren: Yeah, like you were gold star lesbian. 969 00:38:23,115 --> 00:38:23,436 Siren: What is. 970 00:38:23,436 --> 00:38:24,356 Siren: What does gold Star mean? 971 00:38:24,356 --> 00:38:25,755 Siren: What does gold star mean? 972 00:38:25,755 --> 00:38:29,115 Siren: Um, stuff like that I think would be, could be, could be fun 973 00:38:29,115 --> 00:38:30,755 Siren: to chat about in a podcast. 974 00:38:30,675 --> 00:38:31,396 Wendy: I mean. 975 00:38:32,115 --> 00:38:33,396 Siren: It's about curiosity. 976 00:38:33,956 --> 00:38:38,036 Wendy: I mean, and it's a lot when you're like, mask. 977 00:38:38,036 --> 00:38:41,715 Wendy: People think that, oh, you never you never explored that side. 978 00:38:41,715 --> 00:38:44,396 Wendy: But it's like, yeah, I haven't always been mask though, right? 979 00:38:44,396 --> 00:38:47,315 Wendy: It was explored and then quickly unexplored. 980 00:38:50,876 --> 00:38:54,635 Wendy: I was like, yeah, no, you want me to do what with this? 981 00:38:54,635 --> 00:38:55,356 Wendy: You want. 982 00:38:56,356 --> 00:38:58,565 Siren: No no, no thank you. 983 00:38:58,565 --> 00:38:59,565 Siren: No thank you. 984 00:39:00,005 --> 00:39:01,045 Wendy: It's gonna do what? 985 00:39:01,045 --> 00:39:01,726 Wendy: At me? 986 00:39:04,085 --> 00:39:04,766 Wendy: No. 987 00:39:04,766 --> 00:39:07,045 Wendy: So. But, yeah, we'll have to go through all that. 988 00:39:07,126 --> 00:39:09,885 Siren: Yeah. For sure, for sure. 989 00:39:09,885 --> 00:39:14,646 Siren: So all of these queer epiphanies lead to something bigger. 990 00:39:15,246 --> 00:39:15,766 Wendy: That's right. 991 00:39:15,766 --> 00:39:17,045 Wendy: And sometimes that means having 992 00:39:17,045 --> 00:39:18,166 Wendy: the kind of conversation 993 00:39:18,166 --> 00:39:19,646 Wendy: straight people never think 994 00:39:19,646 --> 00:39:20,166 Wendy: about. 995 00:39:20,166 --> 00:39:23,326 Wendy: Let's talk about that in the third course. 996 00:39:28,445 --> 00:39:29,126 Siren: Did I say that? 997 00:39:29,126 --> 00:39:30,806 Siren: I did say that out loud. 998 00:39:30,646 --> 00:39:32,206 Wendy: You did say that. 999 00:39:32,045 --> 00:39:35,885 Siren: Sometimes the inside thoughts should stay on, my lady. 1000 00:39:35,925 --> 00:39:38,005 Wendy: Um. I'm not gonna get in trouble. 1001 00:39:38,005 --> 00:39:41,085 Wendy: Only one can miss lady. 1002 00:39:41,085 --> 00:39:42,445 Wendy: She's six foot tall. 1003 00:39:42,445 --> 00:39:45,606 Wendy: She's a Norwegian Viking princess. 1004 00:39:47,726 --> 00:39:49,206 Wendy: Don't mess with her. 1005 00:39:49,885 --> 00:39:51,206 Siren: You're talking about me, right? 1006 00:39:51,565 --> 00:39:52,806 Wendy: Yes. Yeah. 1007 00:39:52,885 --> 00:39:53,525 Siren: Yeah. 1008 00:39:54,326 --> 00:39:55,606 Wendy: Abso fucking lutely. 1009 00:39:56,166 --> 00:39:56,885 Siren: Gotcha. 1010 00:39:56,885 --> 00:39:57,485 Wendy: Of course. 1011 00:39:57,326 --> 00:39:58,925 Siren: Just want to make sure we're on the same page. 1012 00:39:58,766 --> 00:40:00,005 Wendy: Getting real over here. 1013 00:40:00,246 --> 00:40:06,326 Siren: The third course where love gets real messy and brave. 1014 00:40:06,326 --> 00:40:08,525 Siren: This one hits close to home. 1015 00:40:08,525 --> 00:40:12,206 Siren: Introducing anyone new to your kids is huge. 1016 00:40:12,206 --> 00:40:15,766 Siren: But when it's your first queer partner, when it's your first 1017 00:40:15,766 --> 00:40:19,126 Siren: partner that goes against the cultural expectation of what a 1018 00:40:19,126 --> 00:40:21,166 Siren: relationship should look like. 1019 00:40:21,166 --> 00:40:23,885 Siren: It can feel like you're introducing the world to a new 1020 00:40:23,885 --> 00:40:25,005 Siren: version of you. 1021 00:40:25,005 --> 00:40:27,166 Siren: It can feel like you're introducing your kids to a new 1022 00:40:27,166 --> 00:40:28,166 Siren: version of you. 1023 00:40:28,806 --> 00:40:30,005 Wendy: It's about being proud of your 1024 00:40:30,005 --> 00:40:31,565 Wendy: love while still protecting your 1025 00:40:31,565 --> 00:40:33,246 Wendy: peace and your kids comfort for 1026 00:40:33,246 --> 00:40:33,885 Wendy: sure. 1027 00:40:34,246 --> 00:40:41,606 Siren: Yeah. So, Wendy, you've been in a relationship that kids came 1028 00:40:41,606 --> 00:40:43,085 Siren: with the relationship. 1029 00:40:43,445 --> 00:40:44,726 Wendy: Mhm. Currently. 1030 00:40:44,726 --> 00:40:46,166 Wendy: Yep yep yep yep. 1031 00:40:46,166 --> 00:40:51,885 Siren: And I am one of the people who kids come with the relationship. 1032 00:40:52,166 --> 00:40:52,885 Wendy: Yes. 1033 00:40:52,885 --> 00:40:56,726 Siren: So we both we both kind of have some experience in that respect. 1034 00:40:58,126 --> 00:41:00,965 Siren: I was listening to the first episode of the podcast, and you 1035 00:41:00,965 --> 00:41:06,965 Siren: talk a little bit about what your experience was being kind 1036 00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:10,206 Siren: of thrown into it with, like living with kids. 1037 00:41:10,206 --> 00:41:12,166 Siren: Do you want to talk about that a little bit? 1038 00:41:12,166 --> 00:41:14,085 Siren: Yeah, I'm like, what the experience was for you being 1039 00:41:14,085 --> 00:41:16,846 Siren: introduced to your, um, your partner's kids and stuff? 1040 00:41:17,565 --> 00:41:20,365 Wendy: Well, it's kind of a little bit different because I knew her for 1041 00:41:20,365 --> 00:41:25,085 Wendy: so long, so I knew the kids in some aspect, you know, because 1042 00:41:25,085 --> 00:41:25,965 Wendy: we were friends. 1043 00:41:25,965 --> 00:41:28,485 Wendy: But living in a house with 1044 00:41:28,485 --> 00:41:30,686 Wendy: children and two lived in the 1045 00:41:30,686 --> 00:41:32,925 Wendy: house at the time when we were 1046 00:41:32,925 --> 00:41:33,726 Wendy: living together. 1047 00:41:33,726 --> 00:41:38,445 Wendy: And I got this, you know, thirteen year old girl that just 1048 00:41:38,445 --> 00:41:41,686 Wendy: rifles through all my shit, my clothes, my shoes, without 1049 00:41:41,686 --> 00:41:44,965 Wendy: asking, without without asking. 1050 00:41:44,965 --> 00:41:45,405 Wendy: No. 1051 00:41:45,286 --> 00:41:46,405 Siren: Just like jumps into your 1052 00:41:46,405 --> 00:41:47,646 Siren: dresser and starts pulling stuff 1053 00:41:47,646 --> 00:41:48,005 Siren: out. 1054 00:41:47,846 --> 00:41:50,965 Wendy: Just gets in there, gets it going. 1055 00:41:50,965 --> 00:41:51,525 Siren: That's. 1056 00:41:51,365 --> 00:41:52,085 Wendy: And I was. 1057 00:41:51,925 --> 00:41:52,485 Siren: Rude. 1058 00:41:53,445 --> 00:41:58,806 Wendy: I mean, that was a space where, you know, I don't. 1059 00:41:58,806 --> 00:42:00,565 Wendy: I was just like it. 1060 00:42:00,565 --> 00:42:04,166 Wendy: It brought up like, whoa, I had 1061 00:42:04,166 --> 00:42:06,885 Wendy: all these siblings and I never 1062 00:42:06,885 --> 00:42:08,445 Wendy: felt like I had my own shit, and 1063 00:42:08,445 --> 00:42:09,965 Wendy: somebody was always taking my 1064 00:42:09,965 --> 00:42:10,686 Wendy: stuff. 1065 00:42:11,045 --> 00:42:11,686 Siren: Yeah. 1066 00:42:11,965 --> 00:42:15,106 Wendy: And, you know, I got older and I was like, oh my gosh, I get to 1067 00:42:15,106 --> 00:42:18,045 Wendy: my own, my own stuff and I don't have to worry about anybody 1068 00:42:18,045 --> 00:42:20,005 Wendy: rifling through it or taking it. 1069 00:42:20,005 --> 00:42:25,286 Wendy: But then so at first it bothered me because I'm like, oh my gosh, 1070 00:42:25,286 --> 00:42:26,326 Wendy: this stuff is expensive. 1071 00:42:26,326 --> 00:42:27,365 Wendy: What if it gets stained? 1072 00:42:27,365 --> 00:42:28,445 Wendy: Like, what if it's. 1073 00:42:28,445 --> 00:42:30,365 Wendy: But then I realized, like the 1074 00:42:30,365 --> 00:42:33,905 Wendy: mom portion of it, like, oh, 1075 00:42:33,905 --> 00:42:35,085 Wendy: she's sleeping in the bed with 1076 00:42:35,085 --> 00:42:35,606 Wendy: us. 1077 00:42:35,606 --> 00:42:37,445 Wendy: You know, we don't have privacy. 1078 00:42:37,445 --> 00:42:38,565 Wendy: She's coming in and using the 1079 00:42:38,565 --> 00:42:39,766 Wendy: bathroom because it's a bigger 1080 00:42:39,766 --> 00:42:41,585 Wendy: bathroom and she has more space 1081 00:42:41,585 --> 00:42:42,646 Wendy: to like. 1082 00:42:42,646 --> 00:42:45,885 Wendy: At first it annoyed me because I was like, I'm losing sleep. 1083 00:42:45,885 --> 00:42:47,766 Wendy: Like she's in my stuff. 1084 00:42:47,766 --> 00:42:49,045 Wendy: But then I was made to see it 1085 00:42:49,045 --> 00:42:50,686 Wendy: from the mom perspective as 1086 00:42:50,686 --> 00:42:51,905 Wendy: like, this is not always going 1087 00:42:51,905 --> 00:42:52,525 Wendy: to happen. 1088 00:42:52,525 --> 00:42:56,246 Wendy: Like she's not always going to be here to snuggle us or, you 1089 00:42:56,246 --> 00:42:59,286 Wendy: know, rifle through your clothes or you know what I mean? 1090 00:42:59,286 --> 00:43:04,166 Wendy: So it it made it to where like, am I really that put out by it. 1091 00:43:04,166 --> 00:43:06,965 Wendy: No I'm not I'm not really that put out about it. 1092 00:43:07,365 --> 00:43:09,925 Siren: Yeah. That's a that's a good perspective too. 1093 00:43:09,885 --> 00:43:11,646 Wendy: It could definitely look rude 1094 00:43:11,646 --> 00:43:12,925 Wendy: because at first I thought it 1095 00:43:12,925 --> 00:43:13,246 Wendy: was. 1096 00:43:13,246 --> 00:43:17,405 Wendy: And then I looked at it from a mom perspective, like, and I 1097 00:43:17,405 --> 00:43:21,606 Wendy: want her to feel like she's safe and loved and she can come to me 1098 00:43:21,606 --> 00:43:22,286 Wendy: and talk to me. 1099 00:43:22,286 --> 00:43:25,126 Wendy: And I love her like she's my own, all of them. 1100 00:43:25,126 --> 00:43:27,806 Wendy: And that really made me see that. 1101 00:43:27,806 --> 00:43:28,246 Wendy: You're right. 1102 00:43:28,246 --> 00:43:30,565 Wendy: Like, it's not always going to be like this. 1103 00:43:30,565 --> 00:43:32,346 Wendy: There's going to be times when they're not here and we're going 1104 00:43:32,346 --> 00:43:36,606 Wendy: to miss them rifling through our shit or, you know, snuggling in 1105 00:43:36,606 --> 00:43:37,286 Wendy: the bed with us. 1106 00:43:37,286 --> 00:43:39,045 Wendy: And I want them to feel safe and 1107 00:43:39,045 --> 00:43:42,726 Wendy: loved and secure enough to feel 1108 00:43:42,726 --> 00:43:44,326 Wendy: comfortable. 1109 00:43:44,326 --> 00:43:50,646 Wendy: And so it definitely made me go from like hell not to like. 1110 00:43:50,646 --> 00:43:53,445 Wendy: All right, girl, just don't stain it, you know? 1111 00:43:53,445 --> 00:43:54,925 Wendy: Don't fuck it up. 1112 00:43:54,925 --> 00:43:55,646 Wendy: So. 1113 00:43:56,206 --> 00:43:58,326 Siren: Were you the first lesbian 1114 00:43:58,326 --> 00:44:01,085 Siren: relationship that your your 1115 00:44:01,085 --> 00:44:02,726 Siren: partner brought home to her 1116 00:44:02,726 --> 00:44:03,326 Siren: kids? 1117 00:44:03,646 --> 00:44:06,045 Wendy: Yes. Yes. I was the first woman 1118 00:44:06,045 --> 00:44:07,126 Wendy: that she brought home to the 1119 00:44:07,126 --> 00:44:07,405 Wendy: kids. 1120 00:44:07,405 --> 00:44:08,365 Wendy: Yeah. 1121 00:44:08,365 --> 00:44:09,005 Wendy: Um. 1122 00:44:09,126 --> 00:44:10,166 Siren: How did that feel? 1123 00:44:10,246 --> 00:44:14,746 Wendy: I think that their mother is very, like, much an advocate of, 1124 00:44:14,746 --> 00:44:16,846 Wendy: like, so many different things. 1125 00:44:16,846 --> 00:44:23,266 Wendy: The queer community, the black community being, you know, like 1126 00:44:23,266 --> 00:44:26,726 Wendy: such a girl's girl and an advocate for so many different 1127 00:44:26,726 --> 00:44:31,126 Wendy: things that the kids weren't really too fazed by it. 1128 00:44:31,126 --> 00:44:34,965 Wendy: Now that they're getting older, I think, and we've circled back 1129 00:44:34,965 --> 00:44:41,565 Wendy: around to each other and they have more of like, life 1130 00:44:41,565 --> 00:44:47,606 Wendy: perspectives and their dad and Stepmom's perspective and their 1131 00:44:47,606 --> 00:44:50,726 Wendy: moms that they're starting to make other decisions. 1132 00:44:50,726 --> 00:44:51,646 Wendy: That's. 1133 00:44:52,925 --> 00:44:54,085 Wendy: You know, their mom's kind of 1134 00:44:54,085 --> 00:44:55,646 Wendy: like, what the who the fuck are 1135 00:44:55,646 --> 00:44:56,326 Wendy: these kids? 1136 00:44:56,326 --> 00:44:57,485 Wendy: You know what I mean? 1137 00:44:57,485 --> 00:44:59,186 Wendy: Yeah, because they're starting 1138 00:44:59,186 --> 00:45:02,326 Wendy: to, like, kind of move the other 1139 00:45:02,326 --> 00:45:02,525 Wendy: way. 1140 00:45:02,525 --> 00:45:04,005 Wendy: So it might be an issue to where 1141 00:45:04,005 --> 00:45:05,465 Wendy: they might not want her mom to 1142 00:45:05,465 --> 00:45:07,085 Wendy: be in like, a relationship with 1143 00:45:07,085 --> 00:45:09,346 Wendy: a woman, but we're still kind of 1144 00:45:09,346 --> 00:45:10,126 Wendy: exploring that. 1145 00:45:10,126 --> 00:45:13,885 Wendy: I hope that's not the case, but like, I just want them to have 1146 00:45:13,885 --> 00:45:17,806 Wendy: an open space and I'm always going to, like, love them and 1147 00:45:17,806 --> 00:45:22,085 Wendy: treat them like they're my own and like, be there for them if 1148 00:45:22,085 --> 00:45:23,166 Wendy: they want me to. 1149 00:45:23,485 --> 00:45:24,126 Siren: Yeah. 1150 00:45:24,925 --> 00:45:26,405 Wendy: I mean, I hope they do, but if 1151 00:45:26,405 --> 00:45:28,445 Wendy: they don't, I as much as it 1152 00:45:28,445 --> 00:45:29,686 Wendy: would bother me and hurt me, I 1153 00:45:29,686 --> 00:45:30,766 Wendy: just have to respect whatever 1154 00:45:30,766 --> 00:45:31,686 Wendy: they want. 1155 00:45:31,686 --> 00:45:32,085 Wendy: Yeah. 1156 00:45:32,085 --> 00:45:32,806 Wendy: You know. 1157 00:45:34,726 --> 00:45:36,666 Wendy: I'm gonna try to do my best to 1158 00:45:36,666 --> 00:45:39,286 Wendy: just show them that, like I love 1159 00:45:39,286 --> 00:45:39,885 Wendy: them. 1160 00:45:40,485 --> 00:45:43,806 Siren: Yeah. So when you were talking 1161 00:45:43,806 --> 00:45:46,246 Siren: about the kids stealing your 1162 00:45:46,246 --> 00:45:47,206 Siren: stuff and, like, acting out a 1163 00:45:47,206 --> 00:45:47,885 Siren: little bit. 1164 00:45:48,965 --> 00:45:51,465 Siren: One of the things that I will say, and this is just a point to 1165 00:45:51,465 --> 00:45:56,045 Siren: you and a point to any potential stepparents in the room. 1166 00:45:56,045 --> 00:46:02,525 Siren: Kids don't misbehave at home if they don't trust the people that 1167 00:46:02,525 --> 00:46:03,925 Siren: they live at home with. 1168 00:46:04,686 --> 00:46:05,326 Wendy: Yeah. 1169 00:46:05,846 --> 00:46:08,126 Siren: Um, that's where they test their boundaries. 1170 00:46:08,126 --> 00:46:09,206 Siren: That's that's where they learn. 1171 00:46:09,206 --> 00:46:12,766 Siren: That's where they grow with someone they feel safe with. 1172 00:46:12,766 --> 00:46:15,005 Siren: So I would take that as. 1173 00:46:14,846 --> 00:46:16,485 Wendy: It's like any attention is good 1174 00:46:16,485 --> 00:46:18,106 Wendy: attention, whether it's bad 1175 00:46:18,106 --> 00:46:19,606 Wendy: behavior or good behavior, you 1176 00:46:19,606 --> 00:46:20,045 Wendy: know. 1177 00:46:19,885 --> 00:46:21,885 Siren: Yeah. But they don't misbehave. 1178 00:46:21,885 --> 00:46:25,246 Siren: They don't they don't like, like, do anything awful outside 1179 00:46:25,246 --> 00:46:26,485 Siren: the house with other people. 1180 00:46:26,485 --> 00:46:27,045 Siren: Right. 1181 00:46:27,045 --> 00:46:30,445 Siren: Um, because they know what's appropriate and what's not. 1182 00:46:30,806 --> 00:46:32,126 Wendy: Yeah, exactly. 1183 00:46:32,126 --> 00:46:36,045 Wendy: But it's definitely hard for both parties. 1184 00:46:36,045 --> 00:46:37,565 Wendy: I feel like people with kids and 1185 00:46:37,565 --> 00:46:39,445 Wendy: people that are coming into the 1186 00:46:39,445 --> 00:46:41,326 Wendy: relationship with kids because 1187 00:46:41,326 --> 00:46:43,226 Wendy: it's like, do you not love 1188 00:46:43,226 --> 00:46:45,045 Wendy: someone that you love and not be 1189 00:46:45,045 --> 00:46:47,005 Wendy: with them because of like your 1190 00:46:47,005 --> 00:46:48,726 Wendy: kids might not be for it in that 1191 00:46:48,726 --> 00:46:50,945 Wendy: moment, and you just hope that 1192 00:46:50,945 --> 00:46:52,206 Wendy: they just grow to love that 1193 00:46:52,206 --> 00:46:53,445 Wendy: person and they see that, like 1194 00:46:53,445 --> 00:46:55,726 Wendy: this person makes mom happy, you 1195 00:46:55,726 --> 00:46:56,246 Wendy: know? 1196 00:46:56,286 --> 00:46:58,045 Siren: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 1197 00:46:59,525 --> 00:47:00,686 Wendy: My parents are dead. 1198 00:47:01,166 --> 00:47:01,766 Siren: Oh. 1199 00:47:03,166 --> 00:47:05,525 Wendy: Oh, both of them. 1200 00:47:05,525 --> 00:47:07,405 Wendy: My parents died before I was thirty. 1201 00:47:07,405 --> 00:47:13,365 Wendy: So, um, I would say before they passed away, I had a semi decent 1202 00:47:13,365 --> 00:47:15,085 Wendy: relationship with my mom. 1203 00:47:15,085 --> 00:47:19,826 Wendy: Um, adopted, um, it's like a blended family because there's 1204 00:47:19,826 --> 00:47:21,485 Wendy: five of us that are biological. 1205 00:47:21,485 --> 00:47:25,405 Wendy: Four girls, me included, and one boy. 1206 00:47:25,405 --> 00:47:27,085 Wendy: And then I was adopted by my 1207 00:47:27,085 --> 00:47:28,965 Wendy: adopted mother, who I consider 1208 00:47:28,965 --> 00:47:31,365 Wendy: my mother when I was six because 1209 00:47:31,365 --> 00:47:32,846 Wendy: her and my dad got married and 1210 00:47:32,846 --> 00:47:34,045 Wendy: she had four kids and he had 1211 00:47:34,045 --> 00:47:36,646 Wendy: five, and she adopted all five 1212 00:47:36,646 --> 00:47:38,585 Wendy: of his kids, and he adopted two 1213 00:47:38,585 --> 00:47:40,846 Wendy: of her four whose dads walking 1214 00:47:40,846 --> 00:47:42,085 Wendy: around. 1215 00:47:42,085 --> 00:47:44,925 Wendy: And so I don't consider them like step or anything. 1216 00:47:44,925 --> 00:47:46,925 Wendy: Yeah, but my parents died before I was thirty. 1217 00:47:46,925 --> 00:47:50,606 Wendy: My dad and I didn't really have a good relationship. 1218 00:47:50,606 --> 00:47:54,286 Wendy: Um, he was into, unfortunately, rugs. 1219 00:47:54,286 --> 00:47:56,485 Wendy: And he died because of that. 1220 00:47:56,485 --> 00:47:58,445 Wendy: His heart went out essentially. 1221 00:47:58,445 --> 00:48:00,445 Wendy: Um, for a long time. 1222 00:48:00,445 --> 00:48:03,925 Wendy: He was very, like, took care of all of us. 1223 00:48:03,925 --> 00:48:07,085 Wendy: Took care of, like the two of the four of my adopted mom. 1224 00:48:07,085 --> 00:48:10,806 Wendy: Took care of, like the three of my stepmom's kids because their 1225 00:48:10,806 --> 00:48:13,286 Wendy: dad was really in and out. 1226 00:48:13,286 --> 00:48:14,606 Wendy: But once we got to a certain 1227 00:48:14,606 --> 00:48:17,025 Wendy: age, he kind of just went 1228 00:48:17,025 --> 00:48:17,766 Wendy: downhill. 1229 00:48:17,766 --> 00:48:19,505 Wendy: And him, my stepmom got into, 1230 00:48:19,505 --> 00:48:22,226 Wendy: you know, doing stuff, and he 1231 00:48:22,226 --> 00:48:23,286 Wendy: passed away. 1232 00:48:23,286 --> 00:48:26,846 Wendy: And then my stepmom stopped doing the said rugs. 1233 00:48:26,846 --> 00:48:32,565 Wendy: And then a couple years after he passed away, she got cancer. 1234 00:48:32,565 --> 00:48:34,706 Wendy: Um, um, you find out how many 1235 00:48:34,706 --> 00:48:35,646 Wendy: health problems you have when 1236 00:48:35,646 --> 00:48:37,025 Wendy: you're not doing all that stuff, 1237 00:48:37,025 --> 00:48:38,445 Wendy: you know, when you're not 1238 00:48:38,445 --> 00:48:38,885 Wendy: smoking. 1239 00:48:38,885 --> 00:48:39,646 Wendy: Smith. 1240 00:48:39,525 --> 00:48:41,766 Siren: Yeah. And yeah. 1241 00:48:41,925 --> 00:48:46,126 Wendy: So and she passed away like three years after he did. 1242 00:48:46,126 --> 00:48:46,726 Wendy: Yeah. 1243 00:48:46,726 --> 00:48:49,925 Wendy: But my mom has been passed away of twenty years of cancer. 1244 00:48:49,925 --> 00:48:53,206 Wendy: So I don't think you get to a 1245 00:48:53,206 --> 00:48:54,965 Wendy: point where you don't need your 1246 00:48:54,965 --> 00:48:55,686 Wendy: mom. 1247 00:48:55,686 --> 00:48:55,925 Wendy: Yeah. 1248 00:48:55,925 --> 00:48:59,405 Wendy: Like I wish I and my grandma was like my mom, but my grandma has 1249 00:48:59,405 --> 00:49:01,965 Wendy: also been passed away now for like seven years. 1250 00:49:01,965 --> 00:49:04,965 Wendy: And she was like my best friend, but she was also hella 1251 00:49:04,965 --> 00:49:07,925 Wendy: religious, so that she didn't preach to me. 1252 00:49:07,925 --> 00:49:11,186 Wendy: But I knew that she didn't agree with my lifestyle and we kind of 1253 00:49:11,186 --> 00:49:12,126 Wendy: just didn't talk about it. 1254 00:49:12,126 --> 00:49:16,786 Wendy: She gave me a she did give me advice about my first wife and 1255 00:49:16,786 --> 00:49:19,045 Wendy: did not like her at all. 1256 00:49:20,045 --> 00:49:21,085 Wendy: And grandma was right. 1257 00:49:21,085 --> 00:49:21,565 Wendy: But. 1258 00:49:21,565 --> 00:49:23,045 Siren: Well, yeah, I mean, grandma was right. 1259 00:49:23,045 --> 00:49:24,726 Siren: It seems like grandma was a badass. 1260 00:49:25,246 --> 00:49:26,766 Wendy: But she was a badass. 1261 00:49:26,766 --> 00:49:28,365 Wendy: But there was like a moment in 1262 00:49:28,365 --> 00:49:29,365 Wendy: time where we were talking 1263 00:49:29,365 --> 00:49:31,806 Wendy: about, you know, it was coming 1264 00:49:31,806 --> 00:49:33,065 Wendy: up to where the whole, like, 1265 00:49:33,065 --> 00:49:34,686 Wendy: being able to get married and it 1266 00:49:34,686 --> 00:49:37,425 Wendy: being legal in Indiana and in a 1267 00:49:37,425 --> 00:49:39,956 Wendy: lot of states, and I remember I 1268 00:49:39,956 --> 00:49:41,596 Wendy: don't I'm not disrespectful to 1269 00:49:41,596 --> 00:49:42,295 Wendy: my grandmother. 1270 00:49:42,295 --> 00:49:42,615 Wendy: Never. 1271 00:49:42,615 --> 00:49:43,976 Wendy: I didn't cuss in front of her. 1272 00:49:43,976 --> 00:49:47,735 Wendy: I couldn't even put a cuss word in the Facebook post. 1273 00:49:47,735 --> 00:49:51,576 Wendy: She's like the FCC regulating that shit. 1274 00:49:51,576 --> 00:49:54,896 Wendy: And I remember we were at lunch, I think, at Olive garden or 1275 00:49:54,896 --> 00:49:59,175 Wendy: somewhere, and I walked out because I was so upset that they 1276 00:49:59,175 --> 00:50:03,695 Wendy: just did not get it, that like, I was upset that I just couldn't 1277 00:50:03,695 --> 00:50:06,695 Wendy: fucking marry the person I had been with for like eight years. 1278 00:50:06,695 --> 00:50:07,016 Wendy: Yeah. 1279 00:50:07,016 --> 00:50:07,655 Wendy: You know what I mean? 1280 00:50:07,655 --> 00:50:08,695 Wendy: And I was just like, why? 1281 00:50:08,695 --> 00:50:10,576 Wendy: How do you not understand that? 1282 00:50:10,576 --> 00:50:12,016 Wendy: And I end up getting up and 1283 00:50:12,016 --> 00:50:12,936 Wendy: walking out, and I probably 1284 00:50:12,936 --> 00:50:13,815 Wendy: would have never done that, but 1285 00:50:13,815 --> 00:50:15,856 Wendy: I was just like, the older I 1286 00:50:15,856 --> 00:50:18,876 Wendy: get, the more passionate I am 1287 00:50:18,876 --> 00:50:19,735 Wendy: about it. 1288 00:50:19,896 --> 00:50:22,456 Siren: I feel the same way about like 1289 00:50:22,456 --> 00:50:25,615 Siren: the apathy that I feel from my 1290 00:50:25,615 --> 00:50:27,936 Siren: my dad. 1291 00:50:27,936 --> 00:50:28,416 Siren: I'll say. 1292 00:50:28,416 --> 00:50:29,056 Siren: Yeah. 1293 00:50:29,056 --> 00:50:31,456 Siren: Um, it's hard to talk about 1294 00:50:31,456 --> 00:50:33,056 Siren: people who are still alive on a 1295 00:50:33,056 --> 00:50:34,135 Siren: podcast that they might listen 1296 00:50:34,135 --> 00:50:34,376 Siren: to. 1297 00:50:34,376 --> 00:50:36,615 Siren: But, dad, if you're listening to this right now. 1298 00:50:36,615 --> 00:50:39,775 Siren: And you still haven't called me to apologize. 1299 00:50:40,615 --> 00:50:42,576 Wendy: You fuck you. 1300 00:50:42,496 --> 00:50:45,335 Siren: Fuck you like fuck you. 1301 00:50:45,335 --> 00:50:45,896 Siren: Seriously? 1302 00:50:45,896 --> 00:50:46,496 Siren: Like what else? 1303 00:50:46,496 --> 00:50:48,215 Siren: What other hand could I send you? 1304 00:50:48,456 --> 00:50:50,056 Wendy: You better, dad, do better. 1305 00:50:50,376 --> 00:50:52,135 Siren: My relationship with all this. 1306 00:50:52,135 --> 00:50:55,056 Siren: Because I'm like, all this stuff that, like. 1307 00:50:55,056 --> 00:50:56,735 Siren: Like it seems like you have a very. 1308 00:50:56,735 --> 00:50:58,655 Siren: It's very much just you. 1309 00:50:58,655 --> 00:50:59,376 Siren: Yeah. 1310 00:50:59,456 --> 00:51:01,295 Wendy: Yeah, yeah. 1311 00:51:01,295 --> 00:51:03,896 Wendy: Um. It is, it is me and. 1312 00:51:05,775 --> 00:51:06,255 Wendy: That sucks. 1313 00:51:06,255 --> 00:51:08,536 Wendy: When you have a bunch of siblings, like it really does. 1314 00:51:08,536 --> 00:51:09,815 Wendy: And you have a twin sister. 1315 00:51:09,815 --> 00:51:11,556 Wendy: It really sucks that you really, 1316 00:51:11,556 --> 00:51:13,235 Wendy: your family doesn't believe in, 1317 00:51:13,235 --> 00:51:15,416 Wendy: like, breaking generational 1318 00:51:15,416 --> 00:51:17,416 Wendy: curses and having therapy and 1319 00:51:17,416 --> 00:51:18,815 Wendy: maybe being on something for 1320 00:51:18,815 --> 00:51:19,815 Wendy: your anxiety and your 1321 00:51:19,815 --> 00:51:20,536 Wendy: depression. 1322 00:51:20,536 --> 00:51:24,295 Wendy: Yeah, that's not alcohol or, you know. 1323 00:51:24,295 --> 00:51:24,936 Wendy: Yeah. 1324 00:51:25,856 --> 00:51:26,496 Wendy: Other stuff. 1325 00:51:26,496 --> 00:51:29,335 Wendy: So I just puts a hinder on things. 1326 00:51:29,335 --> 00:51:30,376 Wendy: But, um. 1327 00:51:30,936 --> 00:51:32,815 Siren: You're making your own family, 1328 00:51:32,815 --> 00:51:34,536 Siren: though, and you've made your own 1329 00:51:34,536 --> 00:51:35,335 Siren: family. 1330 00:51:35,615 --> 00:51:37,016 Wendy: I have, yeah, I definitely have. 1331 00:51:37,016 --> 00:51:37,695 Wendy: It's. 1332 00:51:37,695 --> 00:51:41,175 Wendy: It used to make me so upset because I went out of my way, 1333 00:51:41,175 --> 00:51:43,255 Wendy: and I done so much for them. 1334 00:51:43,255 --> 00:51:46,896 Wendy: And they all have kids and I have so many nieces and nephews. 1335 00:51:46,896 --> 00:51:48,655 Wendy: I'm a great aunt ten times over. 1336 00:51:48,655 --> 00:51:51,536 Wendy: That shit is wild to say, but 1337 00:51:51,536 --> 00:51:52,936 Wendy: it's like I've gotten to the 1338 00:51:52,936 --> 00:51:56,596 Wendy: point where I am okay with me, 1339 00:51:56,596 --> 00:51:59,496 Wendy: and whoever is going to be in my 1340 00:51:59,496 --> 00:52:00,835 Wendy: space and in my circle is going 1341 00:52:00,835 --> 00:52:02,576 Wendy: to be good for my peace and my 1342 00:52:02,576 --> 00:52:02,856 Wendy: heart. 1343 00:52:02,856 --> 00:52:06,175 Wendy: And if you're not, I'm okay with putting that boundary up until 1344 00:52:06,175 --> 00:52:07,496 Wendy: you figure it out. 1345 00:52:07,655 --> 00:52:08,815 Siren: Yep, yep. 1346 00:52:08,815 --> 00:52:12,936 Siren: And it's it's weird because it's like easier to do kind of with 1347 00:52:12,936 --> 00:52:15,335 Siren: people who aren't family to be like, no, listen. 1348 00:52:15,335 --> 00:52:16,376 Siren: Like get your shit together. 1349 00:52:16,376 --> 00:52:17,655 Siren: Like what? 1350 00:52:17,655 --> 00:52:19,396 Siren: The family I feel like for me 1351 00:52:19,396 --> 00:52:21,496 Siren: was always sad to be, like, the 1352 00:52:21,496 --> 00:52:22,295 Siren: strongest thing. 1353 00:52:22,295 --> 00:52:24,576 Siren: Like we needed to protect those bonds. 1354 00:52:24,576 --> 00:52:26,755 Siren: We needed to protect the bonds of blood, because that's like, 1355 00:52:26,755 --> 00:52:27,735 Siren: that's what's going to last. 1356 00:52:27,735 --> 00:52:29,936 Siren: Like your your relationship with your siblings. 1357 00:52:29,936 --> 00:52:35,416 Siren: I was told I was told so many times over that my relationship 1358 00:52:35,416 --> 00:52:37,536 Siren: with my siblings was going to be like, the most important thing 1359 00:52:37,536 --> 00:52:38,735 Siren: that I ever had in my life. 1360 00:52:39,016 --> 00:52:41,376 Wendy: I mean, I so wish it was. 1361 00:52:41,215 --> 00:52:41,936 Siren: Yeah, right. 1362 00:52:41,936 --> 00:52:42,976 Siren: I so wish it was. 1363 00:52:42,976 --> 00:52:46,215 Siren: I wish, and it is to an extent, it's not the most important 1364 00:52:46,215 --> 00:52:48,655 Siren: relationship that I have in my life, but like it is, it is an 1365 00:52:48,655 --> 00:52:50,056 Siren: important relationship I have. 1366 00:52:50,056 --> 00:52:54,536 Siren: I will say, but I was also the child of divorce. 1367 00:52:54,536 --> 00:52:57,416 Siren: So my parents got divorced when I was ten. 1368 00:52:57,416 --> 00:53:01,376 Siren: I went through both of my parents bringing home people. 1369 00:53:01,376 --> 00:53:03,335 Siren: My mom brought home one person 1370 00:53:03,335 --> 00:53:04,536 Siren: and ended up marrying that 1371 00:53:04,536 --> 00:53:05,456 Siren: person and they are still 1372 00:53:05,456 --> 00:53:06,815 Siren: married today. 1373 00:53:06,815 --> 00:53:09,096 Siren: Um, my dad brought home. 1374 00:53:10,856 --> 00:53:14,496 Wendy: Can I ask how that person, like, treats you? 1375 00:53:14,496 --> 00:53:18,695 Wendy: He like, is he good to you. 1376 00:53:18,775 --> 00:53:20,416 Siren: At this point in my life? 1377 00:53:20,416 --> 00:53:21,536 Siren: He avoids me. 1378 00:53:22,255 --> 00:53:22,856 Wendy: Wow. 1379 00:53:23,215 --> 00:53:28,456 Siren: Yeah. He avoids me at this point because he knows he's again. 1380 00:53:31,976 --> 00:53:32,815 Siren: Stepfather. 1381 00:53:32,815 --> 00:53:33,976 Siren: If you are listening to this 1382 00:53:33,976 --> 00:53:36,735 Siren: episode of the podcast like, I'm 1383 00:53:36,735 --> 00:53:37,056 Siren: not. 1384 00:53:37,056 --> 00:53:39,016 Siren: No, I'm not gonna say fuck you. 1385 00:53:39,016 --> 00:53:42,096 Siren: Like, honestly, I'm fucking surprised. 1386 00:53:42,096 --> 00:53:44,135 Siren: Like I'm it. 1387 00:53:44,135 --> 00:53:47,295 Siren: It would blow me away if he was here listening to this podcast. 1388 00:53:47,295 --> 00:53:48,416 Siren: And honestly, why don't you just 1389 00:53:48,416 --> 00:53:49,916 Siren: pause here and send me a then 1390 00:53:49,916 --> 00:53:50,896 Siren: just give me a call and we can 1391 00:53:50,896 --> 00:53:51,615 Siren: talk. 1392 00:53:51,615 --> 00:53:54,735 Siren: Oh, but when he when he came into my life, he had his way of 1393 00:53:54,735 --> 00:53:57,376 Siren: doing things and he still has his way of doing things. 1394 00:53:57,376 --> 00:53:59,856 Siren: So and as like someone who was 1395 00:53:59,856 --> 00:54:03,335 Siren: trying to hold on to any aspect 1396 00:54:03,335 --> 00:54:07,155 Siren: of family stuff that felt like 1397 00:54:07,155 --> 00:54:08,735 Siren: used to be my dad's thing and 1398 00:54:08,735 --> 00:54:11,576 Siren: became his thing, and he did it 1399 00:54:11,576 --> 00:54:13,016 Siren: differently, wasn't it didn't 1400 00:54:13,016 --> 00:54:14,615 Siren: feel good. 1401 00:54:14,615 --> 00:54:15,856 Siren: My mom also had this thing that 1402 00:54:15,856 --> 00:54:18,896 Siren: he was not allowed to discipline 1403 00:54:18,896 --> 00:54:22,576 Siren: us or like, like do anything 1404 00:54:22,576 --> 00:54:24,795 Siren: like that, which was thank fuck 1405 00:54:24,795 --> 00:54:27,335 Siren: because, oh my God, his kids 1406 00:54:27,335 --> 00:54:29,896 Siren: were Like I heard stories about 1407 00:54:29,896 --> 00:54:31,155 Siren: how he treated them, like to 1408 00:54:31,155 --> 00:54:31,735 Siren: discipline them. 1409 00:54:31,735 --> 00:54:32,655 Siren: So I'm really glad. 1410 00:54:32,496 --> 00:54:34,175 Wendy: I was gonna ask you that, honestly. 1411 00:54:34,175 --> 00:54:37,775 Wendy: Like how you feel about, like, in your relationship when it 1412 00:54:37,775 --> 00:54:39,096 Wendy: comes to like, your kids? 1413 00:54:39,096 --> 00:54:39,295 Wendy: Like. 1414 00:54:39,295 --> 00:54:43,976 Wendy: Because when it comes to mind, like, she's the one that is the. 1415 00:54:44,496 --> 00:54:45,096 Siren: Yeah. 1416 00:54:45,655 --> 00:54:47,576 Wendy: She's the one that gets on to them. 1417 00:54:47,576 --> 00:54:47,775 Wendy: What? 1418 00:54:47,775 --> 00:54:50,496 Wendy: I can be a backup and be like, yeah, that's not cool. 1419 00:54:50,456 --> 00:54:51,496 Siren: Yeah. Yeah. 1420 00:54:51,335 --> 00:54:53,775 Wendy: But like as far as, like any 1421 00:54:53,775 --> 00:54:55,416 Wendy: punishments or getting onto 1422 00:54:55,416 --> 00:54:56,976 Wendy: them, that's that's her job I 1423 00:54:56,976 --> 00:54:57,695 Wendy: don't. 1424 00:54:57,695 --> 00:54:59,496 Wendy: And she wants it that way. 1425 00:54:59,496 --> 00:54:59,735 Wendy: Yeah. 1426 00:54:59,735 --> 00:55:04,615 Wendy: And that's I wonder if like if someone feels upset about that, 1427 00:55:04,615 --> 00:55:07,815 Wendy: that they don't have a say and like they're the step parent. 1428 00:55:07,615 --> 00:55:09,456 Siren: I think he felt upset about that. 1429 00:55:09,456 --> 00:55:10,735 Siren: I would say that he probably 1430 00:55:10,735 --> 00:55:12,135 Siren: felt upset about that because he 1431 00:55:12,135 --> 00:55:13,576 Siren: had a very particular way of 1432 00:55:13,576 --> 00:55:14,175 Siren: doing things. 1433 00:55:14,175 --> 00:55:16,916 Siren: And when he realized that he wasn't going to get that way 1434 00:55:16,916 --> 00:55:23,576 Siren: with us, that like we became the barrier to his joy. 1435 00:55:23,576 --> 00:55:25,615 Siren: So, yeah, and it is what it is. 1436 00:55:25,615 --> 00:55:27,175 Siren: Like he if he harbored resentment. 1437 00:55:27,175 --> 00:55:28,096 Siren: He did. 1438 00:55:28,096 --> 00:55:29,255 Siren: He did he? 1439 00:55:29,255 --> 00:55:29,976 Siren: Honestly, I didn't. 1440 00:55:29,976 --> 00:55:32,896 Siren: I don't think he cared that much, to be honest. 1441 00:55:32,896 --> 00:55:34,096 Siren: Ultimately, I don't think he cared that much. 1442 00:55:34,096 --> 00:55:37,275 Siren: And I think at this point he just doesn't care because 1443 00:55:37,275 --> 00:55:41,695 Siren: whenever we have a conversation, it used to be before I came out, 1444 00:55:41,695 --> 00:55:47,096 Siren: playful back and forth discussions like arguments, more 1445 00:55:47,096 --> 00:55:50,456 Siren: debate stuff, whether it be politics or what this thing or 1446 00:55:50,456 --> 00:55:53,856 Siren: the other about, like it generally has to do with 1447 00:55:53,856 --> 00:55:56,615 Siren: politics or policy or like what's going on in the world. 1448 00:55:56,615 --> 00:55:57,016 Siren: Yeah. 1449 00:55:57,016 --> 00:55:58,896 Siren: And then when I became part of 1450 00:55:58,896 --> 00:56:00,215 Siren: the minority groups that he was 1451 00:56:00,215 --> 00:56:03,655 Siren: talking about, he couldn't just 1452 00:56:03,655 --> 00:56:05,335 Siren: win every conversation with big 1453 00:56:05,335 --> 00:56:06,135 Siren: words. 1454 00:56:06,695 --> 00:56:07,496 Wendy: Yeah. No. 1455 00:56:07,335 --> 00:56:11,416 Siren: You know, like. Yeah. And I think he got upset at losing. 1456 00:56:11,416 --> 00:56:12,255 Siren: So now he. 1457 00:56:12,255 --> 00:56:15,175 Siren: And by losing I hate even just saying losing. 1458 00:56:15,175 --> 00:56:18,896 Siren: He got upset with the fact that his idea of what was right was 1459 00:56:18,896 --> 00:56:21,496 Siren: challenged in an effective way. 1460 00:56:21,496 --> 00:56:24,096 Siren: Um, and he didn't know how to lose his ass. 1461 00:56:23,896 --> 00:56:24,896 Wendy: That's what you did? 1462 00:56:24,735 --> 00:56:25,856 Siren: Yeah, a bit of. 1463 00:56:25,655 --> 00:56:26,295 Wendy: It these. 1464 00:56:26,096 --> 00:56:27,735 Siren: Days. Yeah, I cooked him. 1465 00:56:27,735 --> 00:56:29,615 Siren: Yeah. Um, he got cooked. 1466 00:56:29,615 --> 00:56:30,976 Siren: Uh, no, but that's fine. 1467 00:56:30,976 --> 00:56:35,255 Siren: Like, honestly, with him too, if he wants to apologize and not 1468 00:56:35,255 --> 00:56:36,096 Siren: even I don't even know. 1469 00:56:36,096 --> 00:56:38,655 Siren: Like, if he wants to have a conversation, we can have a 1470 00:56:38,655 --> 00:56:41,096 Siren: conversation, but he doesn't want to, and it's not worth my 1471 00:56:41,096 --> 00:56:44,496 Siren: time or energy to go maintain a relationship that someone 1472 00:56:44,496 --> 00:56:45,775 Siren: doesn't want to have with me. 1473 00:56:46,295 --> 00:56:47,016 Wendy: Yeah. 1474 00:56:47,615 --> 00:56:48,655 Siren: You know what I mean? 1475 00:56:49,215 --> 00:56:50,335 Wendy: Yeah, because at one point 1476 00:56:50,335 --> 00:56:51,596 Wendy: you're like, why do I keep on 1477 00:56:51,596 --> 00:56:52,416 Wendy: trying? 1478 00:56:52,416 --> 00:56:56,755 Wendy: Like, yeah, how many years have has your mom been married to 1479 00:56:56,755 --> 00:56:58,615 Wendy: your step dad? 1480 00:56:58,615 --> 00:56:59,335 Wendy: That father. 1481 00:56:59,295 --> 00:57:03,376 Siren: Uh, twenty plus years at this point. 1482 00:57:03,376 --> 00:57:04,536 Siren: Twenty five years? 1483 00:57:04,615 --> 00:57:05,695 Wendy: Plus years. 1484 00:57:05,695 --> 00:57:10,036 Wendy: That is something that, like, I want them to think of me as, 1485 00:57:10,036 --> 00:57:12,496 Wendy: like a bonus parent. 1486 00:57:12,496 --> 00:57:14,036 Wendy: Like I want them to know that, 1487 00:57:14,036 --> 00:57:16,675 Wendy: like, I love them as much as 1488 00:57:16,675 --> 00:57:17,695 Wendy: their mother does 1489 00:57:17,695 --> 00:57:19,135 Wendy: unconditionally. 1490 00:57:19,135 --> 00:57:20,016 Wendy: I have their back. 1491 00:57:20,016 --> 00:57:25,615 Wendy: They can come to me and talk to me about anything and like I if 1492 00:57:25,615 --> 00:57:28,976 Wendy: I was a parent, I would like want my partner to want that. 1493 00:57:28,976 --> 00:57:33,376 Wendy: And if they didn't do that or want that, I don't know that 1494 00:57:33,376 --> 00:57:35,215 Wendy: they would be a partner for me. 1495 00:57:35,175 --> 00:57:37,175 Siren: Yeah. Yeah. That's fair. 1496 00:57:37,175 --> 00:57:42,135 Siren: And I think my mom probably does want that, but is over it at 1497 00:57:42,135 --> 00:57:44,735 Siren: this point over trying. 1498 00:57:44,735 --> 00:57:46,255 Siren: So it's fine. 1499 00:57:46,255 --> 00:57:47,096 Siren: It's whatever. 1500 00:57:47,096 --> 00:57:49,416 Siren: Like we avoid each other. 1501 00:57:49,416 --> 00:57:50,815 Siren: It's but okay. 1502 00:57:50,815 --> 00:57:52,016 Siren: He's on the topic of conversation. 1503 00:57:52,016 --> 00:57:53,456 Siren: We're talking about him way too much. 1504 00:57:53,456 --> 00:57:54,016 Siren: Um. 1505 00:57:54,016 --> 00:57:54,416 Siren: Yeah. 1506 00:57:54,416 --> 00:57:58,255 Siren: Uh, no. But like, for me, then, as a child of divorce and 1507 00:57:58,255 --> 00:58:01,835 Siren: experiencing that, I've come into my relationship currently 1508 00:58:01,835 --> 00:58:08,155 Siren: having two kids from a previous relationship, and I am now 1509 00:58:08,155 --> 00:58:15,416 Siren: trying to figure out how to introduce my kids to my partner. 1510 00:58:15,416 --> 00:58:18,295 Siren: And I figure out, I mean, I have like she's been in her life now 1511 00:58:18,295 --> 00:58:23,396 Siren: for like probably a bit over a year And has been an amazing 1512 00:58:23,396 --> 00:58:24,576 Siren: influence on them. 1513 00:58:24,576 --> 00:58:26,215 Siren: The and an influence on me. 1514 00:58:26,215 --> 00:58:30,056 Siren: Honestly, there have been aspects and disagreements, but I 1515 00:58:30,056 --> 00:58:32,695 Siren: think the biggest thing that has worked and the biggest thing 1516 00:58:32,695 --> 00:58:37,016 Siren: that I would suggest to anybody is communication, both with your 1517 00:58:37,016 --> 00:58:40,956 Siren: your partner, with your kids, and if you have a good 1518 00:58:40,956 --> 00:58:44,416 Siren: relationship with your ex, a conversation with your ex about 1519 00:58:44,416 --> 00:58:47,815 Siren: it too is worthwhile because your kids are spending time with 1520 00:58:47,815 --> 00:58:48,775 Siren: your ex too. 1521 00:58:48,775 --> 00:58:52,695 Siren: But ultimately, like kids. 1522 00:58:55,016 --> 00:58:58,255 Siren: Kids care like kids see love more than they see gender. 1523 00:58:58,255 --> 00:59:00,135 Siren: Kids see love more than they see 1524 00:59:00,135 --> 00:59:03,215 Siren: any aspect of someone's 1525 00:59:03,215 --> 00:59:05,135 Siren: sexuality. 1526 00:59:05,135 --> 00:59:10,016 Siren: They know whether you care about them or whether or not you are 1527 00:59:10,016 --> 00:59:14,655 Siren: just trying to, like, get through them or like, I don't 1528 00:59:14,655 --> 00:59:16,896 Siren: know if that's the right word for it, but like that. 1529 00:59:17,215 --> 00:59:17,976 Wendy: Yeah. 1530 00:59:18,135 --> 00:59:20,815 Siren: Like if they're an obstacle for you. 1531 00:59:21,456 --> 00:59:22,896 Wendy: That's been your conversation too. 1532 00:59:22,896 --> 00:59:26,496 Wendy: Like with any backlash about us being together. 1533 00:59:26,496 --> 00:59:28,735 Wendy: Because there's been some because we've had, you know, 1534 00:59:28,735 --> 00:59:32,376 Wendy: we've been kind of we both hurt each other with trauma from 1535 00:59:32,376 --> 00:59:34,615 Wendy: other things in life. 1536 00:59:34,615 --> 00:59:37,115 Wendy: And I'm just like, I hope they get to the point where they see, 1537 00:59:37,115 --> 00:59:42,135 Wendy: like, mom can be like her softest self when she's around 1538 00:59:42,135 --> 00:59:46,335 Wendy: Wendy, when she's with Wendy, and Wendy takes that weight off 1539 00:59:46,335 --> 00:59:49,255 Wendy: of her so she doesn't have to be so strong all the time about it. 1540 00:59:49,655 --> 00:59:51,456 Siren: That sounds like a lot of weight you're picking up. 1541 00:59:52,135 --> 00:59:54,215 Wendy: It is, but I'm okay with it. 1542 00:59:54,215 --> 00:59:54,976 Wendy: I'm okay with it. 1543 00:59:54,976 --> 00:59:58,335 Wendy: I'm strong enough to take it and pick it up and hold it. 1544 00:59:58,335 --> 01:00:00,896 Wendy: And then, you know, sometimes I need her to hold it. 1545 01:00:00,896 --> 01:00:02,096 Wendy: I'll give it back to her. 1546 01:00:02,536 --> 01:00:05,655 Siren: But in terms of bringing queer relationships back to kids, I 1547 01:00:05,655 --> 01:00:09,456 Siren: think the last the last point to talk about here is when we show 1548 01:00:09,456 --> 01:00:13,956 Siren: up real in front of kids, when we show up as our full self, 1549 01:00:13,956 --> 01:00:18,425 Siren: like as our like as as you being out as your your queer beautiful 1550 01:00:18,425 --> 01:00:20,425 Siren: self with purple eyebrows. 1551 01:00:20,425 --> 01:00:26,826 Siren: Tonight only, uh, and me being out as my self over here. 1552 01:00:26,826 --> 01:00:28,505 Siren: Our acceptance of ourselves 1553 01:00:28,505 --> 01:00:29,826 Siren: models that behavior for 1554 01:00:29,826 --> 01:00:31,346 Siren: children. 1555 01:00:31,346 --> 01:00:34,945 Siren: Our self-acceptance models that behavior for our kids. 1556 01:00:35,985 --> 01:00:37,945 Siren: And that's what the opportunity is to do. 1557 01:00:37,945 --> 01:00:41,485 Siren: So when when asked the question, 1558 01:00:41,485 --> 01:00:43,306 Siren: do I want to hide my new partner 1559 01:00:43,306 --> 01:00:45,146 Siren: from my kids, or do I want to 1560 01:00:45,146 --> 01:00:48,826 Siren: show who I am openly to my 1561 01:00:48,826 --> 01:00:49,945 Siren: children? 1562 01:00:49,945 --> 01:00:51,666 Siren: I want them to see that. 1563 01:00:51,666 --> 01:00:55,346 Siren: I want them to benefit from that visibility, too. 1564 01:00:55,346 --> 01:01:00,186 Siren: Um, but yeah, anything else on this, this topic, babe? 1565 01:01:00,025 --> 01:01:05,706 Wendy: Not only that, but it like, can you imagine how different a 1566 01:01:05,706 --> 01:01:11,525 Wendy: world is going to be to have more people like ourselves 1567 01:01:11,525 --> 01:01:15,626 Wendy: showing children that they can show up as theirself, and we're 1568 01:01:15,626 --> 01:01:18,545 Wendy: not putting everybody in a box, and we're not judging people by 1569 01:01:18,545 --> 01:01:21,425 Wendy: who they love the color of their skin, their sexual orientation, 1570 01:01:21,425 --> 01:01:23,626 Wendy: their sexuality, their gender. 1571 01:01:23,626 --> 01:01:24,425 Wendy: You know what I mean? 1572 01:01:24,425 --> 01:01:27,746 Wendy: How better things can be by just 1573 01:01:27,746 --> 01:01:30,106 Wendy: being accepting of everyone and 1574 01:01:30,106 --> 01:01:32,786 Wendy: not thinking it's such a big 1575 01:01:32,786 --> 01:01:34,306 Wendy: deal and you have to hide from 1576 01:01:34,306 --> 01:01:35,226 Wendy: that shit. 1577 01:01:35,065 --> 01:01:35,706 Siren: Yeah. 1578 01:01:36,266 --> 01:01:37,146 Wendy: And your kids are going to grow 1579 01:01:37,146 --> 01:01:39,786 Wendy: up to be way more inclusive with 1580 01:01:39,786 --> 01:01:42,346 Wendy: other people and stick up for 1581 01:01:42,346 --> 01:01:43,425 Wendy: other people. 1582 01:01:43,425 --> 01:01:45,106 Wendy: Yeah, because of that. 1583 01:01:45,306 --> 01:01:47,905 Siren: And we already see that changing, which is beautiful. 1584 01:01:47,905 --> 01:01:48,746 Siren: Like we already see that 1585 01:01:48,746 --> 01:01:49,945 Siren: changing for families and for 1586 01:01:49,945 --> 01:01:50,905 Siren: children. 1587 01:01:50,905 --> 01:01:52,025 Siren: When I finally did it, I 1588 01:01:52,025 --> 01:01:53,065 Siren: realized I wasn't just 1589 01:01:53,065 --> 01:01:54,385 Siren: introducing them to someone I 1590 01:01:54,385 --> 01:01:54,865 Siren: love. 1591 01:01:54,865 --> 01:01:58,226 Siren: I was showing them that it's okay to love bravely. 1592 01:01:59,025 --> 01:02:03,065 Wendy: That's what being a queer parent really is loving out loud so 1593 01:02:03,065 --> 01:02:05,306 Wendy: they can grow up unafraid. 1594 01:02:05,985 --> 01:02:08,666 Siren: Alright dessert's up. 1595 01:02:08,666 --> 01:02:11,505 Siren: Let's wrap this up with the last lick. 1596 01:02:11,826 --> 01:02:13,186 Wendy: The last lick. 1597 01:02:13,025 --> 01:02:14,385 Siren: The last lick. 1598 01:02:14,385 --> 01:02:15,905 Siren: POW pow pow pow pow pow. 1599 01:02:24,146 --> 01:02:26,025 Siren: That was more of a slurp than a lick. 1600 01:02:25,945 --> 01:02:27,226 Wendy: I wasn't, I wasn't. 1601 01:02:30,226 --> 01:02:34,626 Wendy: But the sweetest way to end a queer conversation. 1602 01:02:34,626 --> 01:02:36,865 Siren: Yes. Uh, where we answer your 1603 01:02:36,865 --> 01:02:38,106 Siren: questions and leave you 1604 01:02:38,106 --> 01:02:39,826 Siren: something to chew on for next 1605 01:02:39,826 --> 01:02:40,585 Siren: time. 1606 01:02:40,585 --> 01:02:41,146 Siren: Yeah. 1607 01:02:40,985 --> 01:02:41,505 Wendy: Yes. 1608 01:02:41,306 --> 01:02:41,945 Siren: We do. 1609 01:02:41,786 --> 01:02:43,146 Wendy: Yeah. Heck, yeah. 1610 01:02:43,146 --> 01:02:47,146 Wendy: One over here from Jackie, I believe that. 1611 01:02:47,146 --> 01:02:52,425 Wendy: Wanted to know who are l word crushes were. 1612 01:02:53,585 --> 01:02:55,346 Siren: Oh, wow. 1613 01:02:55,346 --> 01:02:56,706 Siren: Oh, wow. 1614 01:02:56,706 --> 01:02:57,545 Siren: Oh, wow. 1615 01:03:00,425 --> 01:03:01,146 Siren: I need to look at. 1616 01:03:01,146 --> 01:03:02,186 Siren: I need to look at the cast. 1617 01:03:02,186 --> 01:03:03,706 Siren: Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. 1618 01:03:03,545 --> 01:03:04,585 Wendy: Uh, can I go first? 1619 01:03:04,545 --> 01:03:05,226 Siren: Yes, please. 1620 01:03:05,226 --> 01:03:07,425 Siren: Just just go, just go, just go, just go. 1621 01:03:07,585 --> 01:03:10,865 Wendy: The last lick would be juicy as fuck, but. 1622 01:03:10,865 --> 01:03:12,065 Wendy: Jennifer Beals. 1623 01:03:12,065 --> 01:03:12,106 Wendy: reals. 1624 01:03:12,106 --> 01:03:18,146 Wendy: Oh, my God, that woman is a fucking. 1625 01:03:20,146 --> 01:03:20,865 Wendy: Bet. 1626 01:03:21,266 --> 01:03:23,626 Siren: Lara. Lara. Perkins. Lauren Lee 1627 01:03:23,626 --> 01:03:26,226 Siren: Smith, the redhead for the 1628 01:03:26,226 --> 01:03:26,666 Siren: tennis. 1629 01:03:26,666 --> 01:03:27,385 Siren: The tennis player. 1630 01:03:27,385 --> 01:03:28,545 Siren: Redhead. 1631 01:03:28,545 --> 01:03:28,945 Siren: Yeah. 1632 01:03:28,945 --> 01:03:29,186 Siren: Or not? 1633 01:03:29,186 --> 01:03:29,746 Siren: The tennis player. 1634 01:03:29,746 --> 01:03:30,905 Siren: The chef, the chef. 1635 01:03:30,905 --> 01:03:31,626 Siren: She's mine. 1636 01:03:31,465 --> 01:03:34,226 Wendy: Oh, no. Oh, she was so cute, too. 1637 01:03:34,226 --> 01:03:36,025 Wendy: She's the one that dated Dana. 1638 01:03:35,865 --> 01:03:36,585 Siren: Yeah. 1639 01:03:36,945 --> 01:03:38,985 Wendy: Yeah. She was such a cutie patootie. 1640 01:03:38,826 --> 01:03:39,666 Siren: Oh my God. 1641 01:03:39,505 --> 01:03:39,985 Wendy: Yeah. 1642 01:03:40,226 --> 01:03:42,905 Siren: I do have a little bit of a thing for redheads. 1643 01:03:43,306 --> 01:03:46,985 Wendy: Oh, fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Same samesies. 1644 01:03:46,985 --> 01:03:48,385 Wendy: Little fiery redhead. 1645 01:03:48,385 --> 01:03:49,226 Wendy: Okay. 1646 01:03:49,385 --> 01:03:50,065 Siren: Yeah. 1647 01:03:49,865 --> 01:03:51,425 Wendy: Okay. Yeah. Okay. 1648 01:03:51,226 --> 01:03:52,425 Siren: Okay. That sounds like a really 1649 01:03:52,425 --> 01:03:53,666 Siren: delicious last lick, if I'm 1650 01:03:53,666 --> 01:03:54,465 Siren: being honest. 1651 01:03:55,226 --> 01:03:56,746 Wendy: Scrumdiddlyumptious. 1652 01:03:56,585 --> 01:03:58,146 Siren: Any any closing reflections 1653 01:03:58,146 --> 01:03:59,226 Siren: before we move into these last 1654 01:03:59,226 --> 01:04:00,186 Siren: couple lines? 1655 01:04:00,025 --> 01:04:00,706 Wendy: No. 1656 01:04:00,985 --> 01:04:01,626 Siren: No. 1657 01:04:02,186 --> 01:04:05,385 Wendy: No, we we've we've covered a lot of space. 1658 01:04:05,226 --> 01:04:06,065 Siren: Yeah, we did. 1659 01:04:06,706 --> 01:04:08,985 Wendy: Get you a tall baddie with a fatty. 1660 01:04:09,106 --> 01:04:09,786 Siren: Yeah. 1661 01:04:10,306 --> 01:04:11,985 Wendy: Climb that bitch like a tree. 1662 01:04:12,025 --> 01:04:13,505 Siren: Yeah, absolutely. 1663 01:04:13,505 --> 01:04:15,186 Siren: That's what you're looking forward to. 1664 01:04:15,106 --> 01:04:18,865 Wendy: Get you a tall redhead with a fatty? 1665 01:04:18,865 --> 01:04:19,746 Wendy: Yeah. 1666 01:04:19,706 --> 01:04:20,826 Siren: Oh my gosh. 1667 01:04:20,826 --> 01:04:23,865 Siren: I think my one of the big takeaways I have is that this 1668 01:04:23,865 --> 01:04:26,786 Siren: awakening is a lifelong process, that it's not something that 1669 01:04:26,786 --> 01:04:29,065 Siren: happens overnight, that it's something that happens day by 1670 01:04:29,065 --> 01:04:30,985 Siren: day, piece by piece. 1671 01:04:30,985 --> 01:04:32,106 Siren: As we discover more and more 1672 01:04:32,106 --> 01:04:33,865 Siren: pieces of pieces about who we 1673 01:04:33,865 --> 01:04:34,985 Siren: are. 1674 01:04:34,985 --> 01:04:39,425 Siren: I feel like I have a general understanding and hold on myself 1675 01:04:39,425 --> 01:04:43,626 Siren: and who I am right now, but I, judging by the evidence set 1676 01:04:43,626 --> 01:04:46,746 Siren: forth for me by the thirty six years of life I've lived prior 1677 01:04:46,746 --> 01:04:50,425 Siren: to this, I'm very likely it's not the case. 1678 01:04:50,905 --> 01:04:56,065 Wendy: Mhm. Yeah. No, you gotta definitely stay curious, stay 1679 01:04:56,065 --> 01:04:59,545 Wendy: queer and keep it all dunkers. 1680 01:05:00,106 --> 01:05:00,985 Siren: Let's do it. 1681 01:05:09,653 --> 01:05:13,373 Speaker: Thanks for listening to episode three of tongue First. 1682 01:05:13,373 --> 01:05:15,293 Speaker: If this conversation cracked 1683 01:05:15,293 --> 01:05:17,753 Speaker: open, something in you, a memory 1684 01:05:17,753 --> 01:05:19,994 Speaker: a moment, or a delicious queer 1685 01:05:19,994 --> 01:05:22,173 Speaker: epiphany, we want to hear about 1686 01:05:22,173 --> 01:05:22,693 Speaker: it. 1687 01:05:22,693 --> 01:05:26,653 Speaker: Be sure to follow, subscribe, and leave a review wherever you 1688 01:05:26,653 --> 01:05:28,534 Speaker: get your podcasts. 1689 01:05:28,534 --> 01:05:30,974 Speaker: Your support helps us reach more 1690 01:05:30,974 --> 01:05:33,094 Speaker: queer folks who need spaces like 1691 01:05:33,094 --> 01:05:34,173 Speaker: this. 1692 01:05:34,173 --> 01:05:38,253 Speaker: New episodes drop every other week, and you can always join 1693 01:05:38,253 --> 01:05:42,773 Speaker: the chaos live on TikTok, where episodes are recorded live. 1694 01:05:42,773 --> 01:05:43,333 Speaker: And. 1695 01:05:45,414 --> 01:05:47,094 Speaker: Yeah, let's take out that line. 1696 01:05:47,094 --> 01:05:50,494 Speaker: Let's do that live on TikTok, 1697 01:05:50,494 --> 01:05:51,893 Speaker: where episodes are recorded 1698 01:05:51,893 --> 01:05:53,574 Speaker: live. 1699 01:05:53,574 --> 01:05:56,134 Speaker: Okay, I want to start with this paragraph here. 1700 01:05:58,054 --> 01:06:01,693 Speaker: New episodes drop every other week, and you can always join 1701 01:06:01,693 --> 01:06:05,813 Speaker: the Chaos Live on TikTok, where episodes are recorded. 1702 01:06:05,813 --> 01:06:08,574 Speaker: Until then, stay curious, stay 1703 01:06:08,574 --> 01:06:11,014 Speaker: queer, and don't forget to lick 1704 01:06:11,014 --> 01:06:12,213 Speaker: responsibly. 1705 01:06:14,190 --> 01:06:15,150 Siren: Tongue first has written and 1706 01:06:15,150 --> 01:06:16,429 Siren: hosted by Aubree Jane Jones and 1707 01:06:16,429 --> 01:06:17,070 Siren: Wendy Reaves. 1708 01:06:17,070 --> 01:06:19,110 Siren: Produced and edited by Aubree Jane Jones. 1709 01:06:19,110 --> 01:06:20,269 Siren: Recorded live with our TikTok 1710 01:06:20,269 --> 01:06:21,349 Siren: communities where chaos and 1711 01:06:21,349 --> 01:06:23,070 Siren: curiosity collide. 1712 01:06:23,070 --> 01:06:25,230 Siren: Special thanks to our TikTok moderators for keeping things 1713 01:06:25,230 --> 01:06:27,510 Siren: running smoothly, and to Brookdale for lending her voice 1714 01:06:27,510 --> 01:06:28,909 Siren: to our intro and outro.