1 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:16,519 Siren: Welcome to Tongue First, the podcast that asks and answers 2 00:00:16,519 --> 00:00:19,280 Siren: the questions people have clearly been asking. 3 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:22,039 Siren: Hosted by Syron and Wendy two sapphic, creators with a 4 00:00:22,039 --> 00:00:26,879 Siren: chemistry hotter than a pride parade in July, each episode 5 00:00:26,879 --> 00:00:29,199 Siren: they tackle taboo topics. 6 00:00:29,199 --> 00:00:33,240 Siren: Laugh through their chaos and remind you that curiosity is 7 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,280 Siren: sexy and consent is hotter. 8 00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:36,520 Wendy: I know. 9 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:37,520 Wendy: That's right baby. 10 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,399 Wendy: No, it's a full fucking sentence. 11 00:00:39,399 --> 00:00:39,920 Wendy: What's up? 12 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:41,960 Wendy: Queer cuties and chaotic hotties. 13 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:48,700 Wendy: Welcome back to tongues first, where we curse, kiss and serve 14 00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:53,399 Wendy: fucking chaotic fucking hotness on a regular degular. 15 00:00:53,399 --> 00:00:55,840 Wendy: Um, you know, and chaotic cunt. 16 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:56,240 Wendy: Whatever. 17 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:57,399 Wendy: Whatever. 18 00:00:57,399 --> 00:00:58,280 Wendy: I'm Wendy. 19 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:01,939 Wendy: My pronouns are she her and bad bitch. 20 00:01:01,939 --> 00:01:03,859 Wendy: So hello. 21 00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:06,500 Siren: And I'm your local menace and emotional support. 22 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:07,859 Siren: Bottom siren. 23 00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:09,659 Siren: My pronouns are she her. 24 00:01:10,099 --> 00:01:12,420 Wendy: Ooh. Emotional support bottom. 25 00:01:12,659 --> 00:01:14,900 Siren: Listen, I didn't write the scripts. 26 00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,260 Siren: I just edited it. 27 00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:19,939 Wendy: And y'all, it is October 28 00:01:19,939 --> 00:01:21,659 Wendy: sixteenth, twenty twenty five, 29 00:01:21,659 --> 00:01:23,719 Wendy: and tonight's episode is stacked 30 00:01:23,719 --> 00:01:24,780 Wendy: like a pair of double 31 00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:26,340 Wendy: motherfucking D's. 32 00:01:26,340 --> 00:01:28,299 Wendy: Red flags. 33 00:01:28,299 --> 00:01:29,939 Wendy: Deal breakers. 34 00:01:29,939 --> 00:01:33,739 Wendy: But stuff and friendship after queer breakups. 35 00:01:33,739 --> 00:01:35,000 Wendy: Basically, it's a therapy 36 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:38,260 Wendy: session and a sex ed class and a 37 00:01:38,260 --> 00:01:39,620 Wendy: chaotic brunch all rolled up 38 00:01:39,620 --> 00:01:40,659 Wendy: into one. 39 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:42,079 Siren: So grab your iced coffee, your 40 00:01:42,079 --> 00:01:43,140 Siren: Jennifer Coolidge, or whatever 41 00:01:43,140 --> 00:01:43,900 Siren: else you need to get through 42 00:01:43,900 --> 00:01:45,780 Siren: this chaos and let's get into 43 00:01:45,780 --> 00:01:45,939 Siren: it. 44 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:49,780 Siren: But before we do a few quick things for our listeners. 45 00:01:49,620 --> 00:01:54,620 Wendy: While many of you are tuning in later, we've got people watching 46 00:01:54,620 --> 00:01:56,650 Wendy: live on TikTok right Meow. 47 00:01:56,930 --> 00:01:58,329 Siren: So you can join the Chaos live 48 00:01:58,329 --> 00:02:00,549 Siren: to every other Thursday at nine 49 00:02:00,549 --> 00:02:03,090 Siren: thirty pm EST on our TikTok 50 00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:03,890 Siren: channels. 51 00:02:03,689 --> 00:02:05,290 Wendy: Because we are recording live. 52 00:02:05,290 --> 00:02:06,370 Wendy: You might hear us use some 53 00:02:06,370 --> 00:02:08,530 Wendy: creative code words to say 54 00:02:08,530 --> 00:02:09,770 Wendy: within TikTok's community 55 00:02:09,770 --> 00:02:10,849 Wendy: guidelines because they don't 56 00:02:10,849 --> 00:02:11,569 Wendy: fuck around. 57 00:02:11,569 --> 00:02:13,490 Wendy: We're professionals. 58 00:02:13,490 --> 00:02:14,050 Wendy: Kind of. 59 00:02:13,889 --> 00:02:16,050 Siren: We are super professional at this. 60 00:02:16,050 --> 00:02:20,530 Siren: We've definitely recorded an entire episode of a podcast. 61 00:02:20,530 --> 00:02:22,849 Siren: One one whole episode. 62 00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:24,770 Wendy: one one whole episode. 63 00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:26,569 Wendy: We're fucking professional. 64 00:02:26,409 --> 00:02:29,129 Siren: And if you guys were here for the first episode, like, 65 00:02:29,129 --> 00:02:35,569 Siren: seriously, the the less there's so much less chaos already. 66 00:02:35,569 --> 00:02:37,610 Siren: It feels it feels really good. 67 00:02:37,610 --> 00:02:38,490 Siren: I'm gonna be honest. 68 00:02:38,490 --> 00:02:40,889 Siren: But it also, it does feel a little bit dangerous that we 69 00:02:40,889 --> 00:02:44,409 Siren: might be shifting into, like, I don't know, we do, we do. 70 00:02:44,409 --> 00:02:47,330 Siren: We still need to keep that chaotic energy somehow. 71 00:02:48,009 --> 00:02:48,770 Wendy: We will. 72 00:02:48,770 --> 00:02:49,009 Wendy: We? 73 00:02:49,009 --> 00:02:50,169 Wendy: I'm sure we will. 74 00:02:50,569 --> 00:02:50,969 Siren: All right. 75 00:02:50,969 --> 00:02:52,849 Siren: So if we have a lot lined up here. 76 00:02:52,849 --> 00:02:55,669 Siren: And last episode lasted two hours. 77 00:02:55,669 --> 00:02:57,229 Siren: And we're trying to not let the 78 00:02:57,229 --> 00:02:58,590 Siren: episode last for two hours this 79 00:02:58,590 --> 00:02:59,430 Siren: time. 80 00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:01,569 Siren: Instead, we are going to dive 81 00:03:01,569 --> 00:03:03,590 Siren: right into it, uh, right into 82 00:03:03,590 --> 00:03:05,509 Siren: this chaos with our first palate 83 00:03:05,509 --> 00:03:06,389 Siren: cleanser. 84 00:03:11,189 --> 00:03:13,229 Wendy: Okay, a palate cleanser. 85 00:03:13,150 --> 00:03:14,150 Siren: Yeah. Tongue first. 86 00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:15,990 Siren: Right into this palate cleanser. 87 00:03:15,990 --> 00:03:18,150 Siren: A little something to set the mood. 88 00:03:19,189 --> 00:03:21,069 Siren: Uh, a little something to set the mood in. 89 00:03:21,069 --> 00:03:25,030 Siren: Appetizing and unexpected question to give everyone a 90 00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:27,030 Siren: taste of what's to come. 91 00:03:26,949 --> 00:03:27,990 Wendy: Oh, I see. 92 00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:32,189 Wendy: So you got a little spicy starter to warm us up? 93 00:03:32,389 --> 00:03:34,110 Siren: Yes, and I am. 94 00:03:34,110 --> 00:03:36,830 Siren: Honestly, I'm not sure you're ready for this one, Wendy. 95 00:03:38,389 --> 00:03:42,370 Siren: So I threw this one at you briefly in one of your lives a 96 00:03:42,370 --> 00:03:44,110 Siren: while back now. 97 00:03:44,110 --> 00:03:45,750 Siren: Oh, and. 98 00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:48,669 Siren: Okay, you glossed over it in a 99 00:03:48,669 --> 00:03:49,949 Siren: moment and then and then went 100 00:03:49,949 --> 00:03:50,430 Siren: past it. 101 00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:53,699 Siren: And I'm not sure if you fully embraced what it could be. 102 00:03:53,699 --> 00:03:56,219 Siren: Now I I'm going to set the stage a little bit. 103 00:03:56,219 --> 00:03:57,740 Siren: We got to build up to this question. 104 00:03:57,860 --> 00:03:58,900 Wendy: Okay. Okay. 105 00:03:59,379 --> 00:04:04,379 Siren: So you just so our listeners know and our chat here on 106 00:04:04,379 --> 00:04:08,259 Siren: TikTok, no, you were not born with dangly bits. 107 00:04:08,259 --> 00:04:11,020 Siren: However, you are a purveyor of 108 00:04:11,020 --> 00:04:14,039 Siren: aftermarket dangly bits that you 109 00:04:14,039 --> 00:04:14,860 Siren: use. 110 00:04:14,699 --> 00:04:16,060 Wendy: Yeah I am. 111 00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:17,779 Siren: Yeah. Um. 112 00:04:17,939 --> 00:04:19,220 Wendy: We are a fan. 113 00:04:19,060 --> 00:04:19,819 Siren: You're a fan. 114 00:04:19,819 --> 00:04:22,379 Siren: How many how many of these, uh, 115 00:04:22,379 --> 00:04:23,819 Siren: scrappy dappy dudes do you think 116 00:04:23,819 --> 00:04:25,379 Siren: you have purchased over your 117 00:04:25,379 --> 00:04:26,100 Siren: lifetime? 118 00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,939 Siren: No judgment on this number at all. 119 00:04:28,420 --> 00:04:31,819 Wendy: So I am very much a monogamous girly. 120 00:04:31,819 --> 00:04:34,259 Wendy: I have not had a bunch of relationships. 121 00:04:34,259 --> 00:04:34,699 Wendy: Okay. 122 00:04:34,699 --> 00:04:39,300 Wendy: Um, so I would say, hold on, let me let me do some calculations 123 00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:44,500 Wendy: in my queer brain here about the scrappy dappy dudes. 124 00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:46,579 Wendy: I'd say eight. 125 00:04:46,540 --> 00:04:47,060 Siren: eight. 126 00:04:47,060 --> 00:04:47,939 Siren: Okay, okay. 127 00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:51,379 Siren: So for many of us, eight is a is 128 00:04:51,379 --> 00:04:53,319 Siren: a much larger number than the 129 00:04:53,319 --> 00:04:56,079 Siren: number that we have procured in 130 00:04:56,079 --> 00:04:57,079 Siren: our lifetime. 131 00:04:57,079 --> 00:04:58,399 Siren: It could be a much smaller 132 00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:00,560 Siren: number for, for, uh, than some 133 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:01,920 Siren: other people might be thinking, 134 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,680 Siren: um, the chat right now, the chat 135 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:05,160 Siren: right now. 136 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:06,560 Siren: Someone said thirty seven. 137 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:07,839 Siren: I don't believe you. 138 00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:09,680 Siren: Yeah, that's so many. 139 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:10,959 Siren: That's so many. 140 00:05:10,959 --> 00:05:11,519 Siren: Um. 141 00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:14,639 Wendy: seven pop off Queen or king? 142 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:15,560 Siren: Okay, okay. 143 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:19,160 Siren: So that that's just a that's just the baseline question. 144 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,199 Wendy: Okay, okay. 145 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,439 Siren: I know you've had strong relationships. 146 00:05:21,439 --> 00:05:21,920 Siren: You're talking about 147 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:23,040 Siren: relationships in in our podcast 148 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,860 Siren: today, if someone asked you as 149 00:05:25,860 --> 00:05:31,740 Siren: their dying wish to make a 150 00:05:31,740 --> 00:05:35,660 Siren: strappy, I make make a phallic 151 00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:41,480 Siren: toy out of their ashes, is it is 152 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:42,480 Siren: it a wish you think you'd carry 153 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:43,040 Siren: out? 154 00:05:43,519 --> 00:05:44,399 Wendy: Fuck yeah. 155 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:45,399 Siren: Yeah. And if. 156 00:05:45,399 --> 00:05:47,550 Siren: Okay. So yes the yes on board with this. 157 00:05:47,550 --> 00:05:49,069 Siren: We like this. 158 00:05:49,069 --> 00:05:51,829 Siren: Would you like what would you would you use it? 159 00:05:51,670 --> 00:05:52,790 Wendy: Oh, yeah. 160 00:05:52,790 --> 00:05:54,550 Wendy: I'd fuck all the hoes with it. 161 00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:58,829 Wendy: We can just fuck people together because, you know, I'll 162 00:05:58,829 --> 00:06:00,269 Wendy: eventually move on. 163 00:06:00,230 --> 00:06:02,870 Siren: Okay. Final final follow up question. 164 00:06:02,870 --> 00:06:08,110 Siren: Would that be in, like, queer legal circles? 165 00:06:08,110 --> 00:06:10,189 Siren: Would that be considered a threesome? 166 00:06:10,029 --> 00:06:12,029 Wendy: This is like an ex I'm doing this for. 167 00:06:12,029 --> 00:06:12,310 Wendy: Right? 168 00:06:12,310 --> 00:06:13,230 Wendy: Or someone I was with. 169 00:06:13,230 --> 00:06:14,629 Wendy: Not like a friend or anything. 170 00:06:14,509 --> 00:06:16,230 Siren: I don't know, I didn't specify. 171 00:06:16,230 --> 00:06:17,389 Siren: You just jumped all in. 172 00:06:17,389 --> 00:06:19,069 Siren: I was waiting for a specificity, 173 00:06:19,069 --> 00:06:20,269 Siren: but you were like, I don't even 174 00:06:20,269 --> 00:06:21,629 Siren: care. 175 00:06:21,629 --> 00:06:23,750 Siren: It could be someone else's ashes. 176 00:06:24,149 --> 00:06:28,430 Wendy: No, I full send, I. I'd fuck everybody with it. 177 00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:32,350 Wendy: Whoever was consensually on board, we would just be. 178 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:33,110 Wendy: We'd be. 179 00:06:33,110 --> 00:06:36,910 Wendy: We'd be fucking and they'd be sucking up and. 180 00:06:36,790 --> 00:06:38,230 Siren: Oh my God. 181 00:06:39,389 --> 00:06:40,110 Wendy: Yeah. 182 00:06:40,670 --> 00:06:41,790 Wendy: That'd be with us. 183 00:06:41,990 --> 00:06:43,870 Siren: Okay, okay. 184 00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:44,529 Siren: That was our. 185 00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,689 Siren: That was our first palate cleanser. 186 00:06:46,689 --> 00:06:48,529 Siren: You get to do the next one. 187 00:06:48,529 --> 00:06:49,209 Siren: Deal. 188 00:06:49,689 --> 00:06:50,449 Wendy: Oh, sure. 189 00:06:50,250 --> 00:06:51,850 Wendy: Okay. Yeah. Deal. 190 00:06:51,689 --> 00:06:54,050 Wendy: Deal. Uh, on the next podcast. 191 00:06:54,050 --> 00:06:56,250 Wendy: There's a palate cleanser that I gotta come up with. 192 00:06:56,089 --> 00:06:59,290 Siren: Yeah. So the next podcast, you'll be in charge of our mini 193 00:06:59,290 --> 00:07:02,250 Siren: segment, the Palate Cleanser, which is our first mini segment. 194 00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:02,970 Wendy: Let's go. 195 00:07:02,970 --> 00:07:05,029 Siren: I was, like, trying to figure out how to, like, break this 196 00:07:05,029 --> 00:07:06,449 Siren: into a more cohesive thing. 197 00:07:06,449 --> 00:07:09,529 Siren: And I was thinking, like, tongues first, like, what is 198 00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:12,009 Siren: this first, like mini segment because you had this up break 199 00:07:12,009 --> 00:07:12,769 Siren: down into segments. 200 00:07:12,769 --> 00:07:15,410 Siren: I was like, what is what can the first mini segment be? 201 00:07:15,410 --> 00:07:19,529 Siren: Appetizer didn't feel right, but like ChatGPT suggested foreplay. 202 00:07:19,529 --> 00:07:22,129 Siren: And I was like, that's a little too direct. 203 00:07:22,129 --> 00:07:25,129 Siren: ChatGPT like, I'm you're you're a little too spicy. 204 00:07:25,129 --> 00:07:27,649 Siren: Can we put pump the brakes, baby? 205 00:07:27,649 --> 00:07:29,410 Siren: Like, oh my God, calm down. 206 00:07:29,250 --> 00:07:30,170 Wendy: Buy us dinner. 207 00:07:29,970 --> 00:07:30,769 Wendy: first, right? 208 00:07:30,769 --> 00:07:31,449 Wendy: Jeez. 209 00:07:31,290 --> 00:07:31,649 Wendy: What? 210 00:07:31,649 --> 00:07:32,250 Wendy: Muffin. 211 00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:33,050 Wendy: Jeez. 212 00:07:32,889 --> 00:07:34,449 Siren: But it did jog me into thinking 213 00:07:34,449 --> 00:07:35,850 Siren: of the palate cleanser, and 214 00:07:35,850 --> 00:07:36,089 Siren: that's. 215 00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:37,209 Siren: That's what the name was here. 216 00:07:37,209 --> 00:07:39,250 Siren: But then I was like, how can we break the recipe down? 217 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,209 Siren: So I hope you liked, like, the first course. 218 00:07:41,209 --> 00:07:42,079 Siren: Seneca Of course. 219 00:07:42,079 --> 00:07:43,360 Siren: Third course. 220 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:45,040 Siren: And then the final segment. 221 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:46,279 Siren: Did you see what it was called? 222 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:48,160 Wendy: Yeah, yeah. 223 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,319 Siren: The last segment, the last mini segment is the is the last lick. 224 00:07:53,079 --> 00:07:54,839 Wendy: But you're making a good one. 225 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,680 Siren: So that's when we have our Q&A at the end. 226 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:58,839 Siren: So the first palate cleanser. 227 00:08:03,519 --> 00:08:04,000 Wendy: All right. 228 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,379 Wendy: So the first course we're going 229 00:08:05,379 --> 00:08:07,199 Wendy: to be talking about here is red 230 00:08:07,199 --> 00:08:09,000 Wendy: flags versus deal breakers 231 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,199 Wendy: y'all. 232 00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:13,319 Wendy: And we'll start with red flags. 233 00:08:13,319 --> 00:08:15,839 Wendy: Those little warnings that we 234 00:08:15,839 --> 00:08:18,500 Wendy: all fucking get that we ignore 235 00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:19,660 Wendy: because we think it's a fucking 236 00:08:19,660 --> 00:08:21,040 Wendy: pink flag. 237 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:22,120 Wendy: It's not pink. 238 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:22,800 Wendy: It's red. 239 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,240 Wendy: They got great hair. 240 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:25,560 Wendy: They have nice tits. 241 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:28,839 Wendy: They know your birth chart like they're fucking in your 242 00:08:28,839 --> 00:08:31,439 Wendy: astrological sign realm. 243 00:08:31,439 --> 00:08:33,000 Wendy: Whatever. 244 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:33,720 Wendy: Come on. 245 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:39,669 Siren: So. So we're talking like, red flags being like they call all 246 00:08:39,669 --> 00:08:43,759 Siren: their exes crazy, but the deal breaker being they still 247 00:08:43,759 --> 00:08:46,059 Siren: currently live with one. 248 00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:49,860 Wendy: We've seen this one so many times, I. 249 00:08:50,059 --> 00:08:53,019 Siren: Well, what was funny is when I, when I was writing this up and 250 00:08:53,019 --> 00:08:55,419 Siren: when I was looking over this, uh, squeezy, my girlfriend is 251 00:08:55,419 --> 00:08:56,899 Siren: here with me and she was like, oh my God. 252 00:08:56,899 --> 00:09:00,139 Siren: Well, thankfully you didn't meet me how long ago? 253 00:09:00,259 --> 00:09:05,379 Squeezy: Oh, like four years ago, three, four years ago. 254 00:09:05,220 --> 00:09:06,340 Siren: Four years ago. 255 00:09:06,340 --> 00:09:09,980 Siren: Um, because sometimes that shit happens, right? 256 00:09:09,980 --> 00:09:11,580 Siren: Have you ever had that happen where you've had a falling out 257 00:09:11,580 --> 00:09:14,899 Siren: with someone like mid relationship, and you just have 258 00:09:14,899 --> 00:09:16,019 Siren: to be roommates? 259 00:09:16,740 --> 00:09:19,820 Wendy: Yes. My ex was my first wife. 260 00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:21,059 Wendy: Both wives actually. 261 00:09:21,059 --> 00:09:21,500 Wendy: Yes. 262 00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:22,620 Wendy: So yeah. 263 00:09:22,419 --> 00:09:23,100 Wendy: Yeah. 264 00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:25,019 Siren: Yeah I mean I was the same deal. 265 00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:26,139 Wendy: Stuck in a fucking lease. 266 00:09:26,139 --> 00:09:26,500 Wendy: You can't. 267 00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:30,259 Wendy: It's expensive to move like you got dogs together. 268 00:09:30,259 --> 00:09:30,820 Wendy: Pets. 269 00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:31,740 Wendy: Yeah, right. 270 00:09:31,740 --> 00:09:32,659 Wendy: Yeah. 271 00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:32,940 Wendy: Right. 272 00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:34,179 Wendy: Or red flags. 273 00:09:34,179 --> 00:09:39,889 Wendy: You know, the I don't know Fucking lesbians, am I right? 274 00:09:41,090 --> 00:09:41,850 Wendy: Right. 275 00:09:41,690 --> 00:09:42,850 Siren: Especially, like late in life. 276 00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:43,490 Siren: Lesbians. 277 00:09:43,490 --> 00:09:45,129 Siren: Like, am I right? 278 00:09:45,129 --> 00:09:47,929 Siren: Like not you, but, like, there's a lot of them. 279 00:09:47,929 --> 00:09:48,690 Wendy: Yeah, we're. 280 00:09:48,490 --> 00:09:48,970 Wendy: In a rush. 281 00:09:48,970 --> 00:09:49,850 Wendy: I'm almost forty five. 282 00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:50,929 Wendy: We're in a fucking rush. 283 00:09:50,929 --> 00:09:52,090 Wendy: Okay, okay, okay. 284 00:09:52,090 --> 00:09:53,090 Wendy: Let's focus. 285 00:09:52,929 --> 00:09:53,730 Wendy: It's okay. 286 00:09:53,850 --> 00:09:55,409 Siren: Um, so, like, that's from that 287 00:09:55,409 --> 00:09:56,809 Siren: perspective, like, as being the 288 00:09:56,809 --> 00:09:57,909 Siren: one that would be a deal breaker 289 00:09:57,909 --> 00:09:58,090 Siren: on. 290 00:09:58,090 --> 00:10:02,169 Siren: But like, have you have you ever been that person like, been like 291 00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:04,210 Siren: trying to convince someone you're not a deal breaker, but 292 00:10:04,210 --> 00:10:05,769 Siren: you still live with your ex? 293 00:10:05,610 --> 00:10:08,049 Wendy: No, because I, I don't I think 294 00:10:08,049 --> 00:10:11,289 Wendy: it's not good to like, be in a 295 00:10:11,289 --> 00:10:13,129 Wendy: situation where you're, you're 296 00:10:13,129 --> 00:10:15,190 Wendy: broke up and you, like, try to 297 00:10:15,190 --> 00:10:16,330 Wendy: quickly move into another 298 00:10:16,330 --> 00:10:17,009 Wendy: relationship. 299 00:10:17,009 --> 00:10:18,850 Wendy: I'm not one of those people. 300 00:10:18,850 --> 00:10:24,330 Wendy: I'm very much like, let's get my heel on and be I'm I'm the sad 301 00:10:24,330 --> 00:10:27,450 Wendy: baby about it because I'm I'm usually not the one that breaks 302 00:10:27,450 --> 00:10:28,210 Wendy: up with people. 303 00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:32,529 Wendy: I'm I'm like, let's work it out seventeen million times. 304 00:10:32,529 --> 00:10:32,730 Wendy: Yeah. 305 00:10:32,730 --> 00:10:35,330 Wendy: Even though you don't deserve to work it out, I'm like, let's 306 00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:36,149 Wendy: work it out. 307 00:10:36,149 --> 00:10:37,549 Wendy: I love you. 308 00:10:37,549 --> 00:10:39,870 Wendy: We don't spend so much time in this bitch. 309 00:10:39,870 --> 00:10:40,950 Wendy: And we're married. 310 00:10:40,789 --> 00:10:42,309 Siren: The hopeless romantic. 311 00:10:42,549 --> 00:10:43,190 Wendy: Yeah. 312 00:10:43,029 --> 00:10:47,269 Siren: The one that has, like, four tattoos of their ex's name. 313 00:10:47,269 --> 00:10:48,909 Siren: But they're not like you're just 314 00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:50,230 Siren: trying to save the tattoos, you 315 00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:50,710 Siren: know? 316 00:10:50,549 --> 00:10:55,669 Wendy: No, no, no. We have we have one of the first one covered. 317 00:10:55,669 --> 00:10:57,190 Wendy: We have the second one right here. 318 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,309 Wendy: It's not covered. 319 00:10:59,269 --> 00:11:00,590 Siren: Um, okay. 320 00:11:00,590 --> 00:11:04,710 Siren: Red flag has a tattoo of their ex's name. 321 00:11:04,710 --> 00:11:08,950 Siren: Deal breaker has a tattoo of their ex's face. 322 00:11:10,710 --> 00:11:11,309 Wendy: Um. 323 00:11:14,269 --> 00:11:16,950 Wendy: Ex's face is red. 324 00:11:16,950 --> 00:11:19,429 Wendy: No. Because we're. 325 00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,909 Wendy: I'm going to look at that every time. 326 00:11:20,909 --> 00:11:23,830 Wendy: We're, like, fucking and sucking. 327 00:11:23,830 --> 00:11:27,590 Wendy: Uh, maybe your ex is hotter than you. 328 00:11:27,590 --> 00:11:29,190 Wendy: I don't want to see that shit. 329 00:11:31,309 --> 00:11:31,909 Wendy: No. 330 00:11:31,909 --> 00:11:32,250 Wendy: Now. 331 00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:32,850 Wendy: Why? 332 00:11:32,850 --> 00:11:34,129 Wendy: That's a deal breaker. 333 00:11:35,169 --> 00:11:37,450 Siren: So this is me and my ex. 334 00:11:37,450 --> 00:11:39,289 Siren: Me and my ex. 335 00:11:39,289 --> 00:11:40,049 Siren: The mother. 336 00:11:40,049 --> 00:11:41,889 Siren: The mother of my children. 337 00:11:42,009 --> 00:11:43,889 Wendy: Oh, shit. 338 00:11:44,929 --> 00:11:45,889 Siren: Yes. 339 00:11:46,250 --> 00:11:48,370 Wendy: And did she tattoo that on you? 340 00:11:48,370 --> 00:11:49,769 Wendy: Because I know she's a tattoo. 341 00:11:49,769 --> 00:11:51,809 Siren: No, she didn't tattoo it on me. 342 00:11:52,450 --> 00:11:53,289 Wendy: Okay. 343 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,850 Siren: No, she didn't tattoo that on me. 344 00:11:54,850 --> 00:11:56,809 Siren: No, I actually I did the website 345 00:11:56,809 --> 00:11:59,429 Siren: for, uh, one of her friend's new 346 00:11:59,429 --> 00:12:01,070 Siren: shops, and he traded me, like, 347 00:12:01,070 --> 00:12:02,370 Siren: doing the website for the 348 00:12:02,370 --> 00:12:03,250 Siren: tattoo. 349 00:12:03,250 --> 00:12:04,289 Siren: But, yeah. 350 00:12:04,570 --> 00:12:05,970 Wendy: Was it a surprise? 351 00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:07,450 Siren: Yes, it was a surprise. 352 00:12:07,450 --> 00:12:08,210 Siren: It was like. 353 00:12:08,210 --> 00:12:08,730 Siren: It was. 354 00:12:08,730 --> 00:12:10,090 Siren: I had wanted a tattoo from this guy. 355 00:12:10,090 --> 00:12:12,649 Siren: I wanted, like, a stylized portrait. 356 00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:16,409 Siren: And my thing with, like, tattoos have more been. 357 00:12:16,409 --> 00:12:17,809 Siren: What are the, like, the things 358 00:12:17,809 --> 00:12:18,769 Siren: that will always be there in my 359 00:12:18,769 --> 00:12:18,970 Siren: life. 360 00:12:18,970 --> 00:12:21,649 Siren: And regardless of whether she's physically in my life at the 361 00:12:21,649 --> 00:12:23,610 Siren: time, like she's the. 362 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:25,610 Siren: She was the other parent of my kids. 363 00:12:25,450 --> 00:12:25,929 Wendy: Yeah. 364 00:12:25,730 --> 00:12:27,210 Siren: You know, that's different. 365 00:12:27,049 --> 00:12:28,610 Wendy: Yeah. That's different. 366 00:12:28,610 --> 00:12:29,330 Wendy: That's different. 367 00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:34,580 Wendy: If it was somebody that didn't have kids with said person, ah, 368 00:12:34,580 --> 00:12:37,720 Wendy: that might be like, we'd have to go get that bitch covered up. 369 00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:40,639 Siren: So we moved more towards a beige flag then. 370 00:12:40,919 --> 00:12:42,679 Wendy: Yeah, that'd be a beige flag. 371 00:12:42,519 --> 00:12:44,080 Siren: Okay. Deal with context. 372 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:44,879 Siren: With context. 373 00:12:44,879 --> 00:12:45,559 Siren: Okay. 374 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:47,519 Siren: Lesson number one. 375 00:12:47,519 --> 00:12:48,240 Siren: Out of tongues. 376 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:49,840 Siren: First from the first course. 377 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:56,000 Siren: Um, a red flag can turn beige with the right context. 378 00:12:56,159 --> 00:12:59,840 Wendy: Exactly. Yeah. Perception and perspective. 379 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:03,159 Wendy: You have to, you know, it's it's a big thing. 380 00:13:03,159 --> 00:13:04,200 Wendy: Alright. 381 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,720 Wendy: So okay. 382 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:09,039 Wendy: Red flag. 383 00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:11,080 Wendy: I'm not like other gays. 384 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,279 Wendy: Deal breaker. 385 00:13:13,879 --> 00:13:14,879 Wendy: They mean it. 386 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:17,440 Siren: What does that even mean? 387 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,360 Siren: I don't even know what that means. 388 00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:20,320 Siren: What does that mean? 389 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:24,200 Siren: I saw you write that and I was like, okay, I need I, I'm just 390 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,639 Siren: I'm glad this is yours. 391 00:13:26,919 --> 00:13:28,539 Wendy: I'm not like other gays. 392 00:13:28,539 --> 00:13:29,340 Wendy: So what is this? 393 00:13:29,340 --> 00:13:31,340 Wendy: Let's let's, like, break this down. 394 00:13:31,340 --> 00:13:33,539 Wendy: Stereotypical shit about gays. 395 00:13:33,539 --> 00:13:38,059 Wendy: Like, oh, we U-Haul, we fucking drive Subarus. 396 00:13:38,059 --> 00:13:41,179 Wendy: Like we're mass lesbians. 397 00:13:41,179 --> 00:13:46,139 Wendy: We're players like we, you know, we're fuckboys. 398 00:13:46,139 --> 00:13:46,580 Wendy: Okay? 399 00:13:46,580 --> 00:13:51,779 Wendy: We're we're we're out to be everyone's stepdaddy like, so. 400 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:54,519 Siren: So do you mean like, they're not like other gays in, like, 401 00:13:54,519 --> 00:13:57,179 Siren: they're just way too normal? 402 00:13:58,059 --> 00:13:59,419 Wendy: Yeah, maybe. 403 00:13:59,419 --> 00:14:00,820 Wendy: I mean, maybe. 404 00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:05,899 Siren: Like, they they're more NPC than anything. 405 00:14:06,259 --> 00:14:08,700 Wendy: I think in the context that they're saying is that they're 406 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:10,059 Wendy: not like other gays. 407 00:14:10,059 --> 00:14:11,299 Wendy: They're saying, oh, but I'm not 408 00:14:11,299 --> 00:14:13,460 Wendy: like those gays that I just 409 00:14:13,460 --> 00:14:13,700 Wendy: know. 410 00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:14,139 Wendy: Oh. 411 00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:16,659 Siren: Oh, got you, got you. 412 00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:20,779 Wendy: Yeah. So are you like them? 413 00:14:20,779 --> 00:14:21,779 Wendy: Is that a red flag? 414 00:14:21,779 --> 00:14:25,990 Wendy: If someone says I'm not like other gays because I feel like, 415 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:26,690 Wendy: why do you. 416 00:14:26,690 --> 00:14:27,889 Wendy: Why would you say that? 417 00:14:28,769 --> 00:14:29,490 Siren: Yeah. 418 00:14:30,809 --> 00:14:33,289 Wendy: Or is the dealbreaker like they mean? 419 00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,370 Wendy: They're really not like other guys. 420 00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:37,049 Wendy: Do you like the stereotypical 421 00:14:37,049 --> 00:14:39,730 Wendy: gay or do you not like the 422 00:14:39,730 --> 00:14:42,009 Wendy: stereotypical gay? 423 00:14:42,009 --> 00:14:44,250 Wendy: It just depends, you know? 424 00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:44,570 Wendy: Yeah. 425 00:14:44,570 --> 00:14:45,570 Wendy: It's crazy. 426 00:14:47,009 --> 00:14:51,970 Wendy: Oh, look, we're some of us are are stereotypical. 427 00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:55,730 Wendy: Like when someone says, who's the man in the relationship? 428 00:14:55,730 --> 00:14:56,850 Wendy: There's not one. 429 00:14:56,850 --> 00:15:00,450 Wendy: That's the whole point of me being gay. 430 00:15:00,450 --> 00:15:02,649 Wendy: Just because I'm a lesbian, that 431 00:15:02,649 --> 00:15:03,909 Wendy: doesn't mean I want to 432 00:15:03,909 --> 00:15:04,690 Wendy: transition. 433 00:15:04,690 --> 00:15:05,490 Wendy: It just means that I'm 434 00:15:05,490 --> 00:15:07,129 Wendy: comfortable in my skin and my 435 00:15:07,129 --> 00:15:08,690 Wendy: clothing. 436 00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:10,490 Wendy: I might want twigs and berries, 437 00:15:10,490 --> 00:15:11,649 Wendy: like once just to do the 438 00:15:11,649 --> 00:15:13,970 Wendy: helicopter and pee on stuff 439 00:15:13,970 --> 00:15:15,769 Wendy: standing up, but that's about 440 00:15:15,769 --> 00:15:16,570 Wendy: it. 441 00:15:16,570 --> 00:15:19,490 Wendy: You know, I like my lady lumps. 442 00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:23,909 Wendy: I like my lady lumps, you know. 443 00:15:25,870 --> 00:15:27,269 Wendy: So, you know. 444 00:15:27,750 --> 00:15:30,110 Siren: Is it is it a deal breaker? 445 00:15:30,110 --> 00:15:31,029 Siren: Okay. 446 00:15:31,029 --> 00:15:31,750 Siren: I'm. 447 00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:32,149 Siren: I'm sorry. 448 00:15:32,149 --> 00:15:33,509 Siren: I'm jumping back to the first one. 449 00:15:33,509 --> 00:15:35,509 Siren: Is it less of a deal breaker if 450 00:15:35,509 --> 00:15:40,970 Siren: the person's ex is is, like, 451 00:15:40,970 --> 00:15:42,470 Siren: already has another roommate 452 00:15:42,470 --> 00:15:43,450 Siren: that they're living with who 453 00:15:43,450 --> 00:15:44,429 Siren: they're dating? 454 00:15:44,669 --> 00:15:45,470 Wendy: No. 455 00:15:45,629 --> 00:15:46,789 Siren: Uh, no. 456 00:15:46,590 --> 00:15:48,029 Wendy: Because I feel like anything 457 00:15:48,029 --> 00:15:49,309 Wendy: could happen when it comes to 458 00:15:49,309 --> 00:15:50,470 Wendy: lesbians. 459 00:15:50,470 --> 00:15:55,669 Wendy: Especially if you date someone that quick, you're not properly 460 00:15:55,669 --> 00:15:58,029 Wendy: healing from the relationship you just got out of. 461 00:15:58,029 --> 00:16:00,549 Wendy: And that's potentially, like a rebound. 462 00:16:00,549 --> 00:16:02,389 Wendy: And who hasn't seen that happen 463 00:16:02,389 --> 00:16:03,789 Wendy: where, like, you don't have to 464 00:16:03,789 --> 00:16:05,110 Wendy: worry like they're already in 465 00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:06,590 Wendy: another relationship with 466 00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:09,029 Wendy: somebody and then bam, you get 467 00:16:09,029 --> 00:16:11,490 Wendy: cheated on cuz they're fucking 468 00:16:11,490 --> 00:16:13,429 Wendy: their ex that's supposedly had 469 00:16:13,429 --> 00:16:14,990 Wendy: another person. 470 00:16:14,830 --> 00:16:15,870 Siren: Do you know what's so interesting? 471 00:16:15,870 --> 00:16:17,909 Siren: I just thought of it in context of that. 472 00:16:17,909 --> 00:16:21,940 Siren: Like everyone in this scenario is a lesbian. 473 00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:22,340 Siren: Yeah. 474 00:16:22,340 --> 00:16:26,539 Siren: Because in in the scenario in my head, it's not that because the 475 00:16:26,539 --> 00:16:30,820 Siren: only like there was, there was a I went through a small stage in 476 00:16:30,820 --> 00:16:32,299 Siren: my life where I dated boys. 477 00:16:32,299 --> 00:16:34,620 Siren: Just a small stage in my life. 478 00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:36,659 Siren: Um, and there was this boy I dated. 479 00:16:36,659 --> 00:16:38,740 Siren: We need to come up with a name for him, because this is going 480 00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:40,379 Siren: to be a podcast and we're live on the internet. 481 00:16:40,379 --> 00:16:42,379 Siren: I cannot say his name out loud. 482 00:16:42,179 --> 00:16:43,539 Wendy: Brad. Brad. 483 00:16:43,379 --> 00:16:46,139 Siren: We'll call him Brad. Brad. 484 00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:47,860 Siren: Brad lived with his ex. 485 00:16:47,860 --> 00:16:50,700 Siren: His ex came out as a lesbian and 486 00:16:50,700 --> 00:16:54,539 Siren: dates women and like, had 487 00:16:54,539 --> 00:16:56,019 Siren: girlfriends. 488 00:16:56,019 --> 00:16:57,700 Siren: But Brad still lived there. 489 00:16:58,259 --> 00:16:59,059 Wendy: Yeah. 490 00:16:59,139 --> 00:17:00,059 Siren: Which? 491 00:17:00,059 --> 00:17:03,980 Siren: Which was really weird in a lot of ways. 492 00:17:04,740 --> 00:17:06,740 Wendy: How long were they split up for? 493 00:17:07,940 --> 00:17:10,099 Siren: Um, I think they were split up 494 00:17:10,099 --> 00:17:12,420 Siren: for, like, less than a year, but 495 00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:13,339 Siren: probably like more than six 496 00:17:13,339 --> 00:17:13,539 Siren: months. 497 00:17:13,539 --> 00:17:15,099 Siren: Maybe like nine months. 498 00:17:15,099 --> 00:17:16,019 Siren: Eight or nine months. 499 00:17:16,299 --> 00:17:17,180 Wendy: Get the fuck out. 500 00:17:17,180 --> 00:17:17,700 Wendy: At that point. 501 00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:18,880 Wendy: Why are you still there? 502 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:20,559 Siren: Right, right. 503 00:17:20,559 --> 00:17:23,119 Siren: I feel like Chad is a better name. 504 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:24,799 Siren: Chad or Chad is. 505 00:17:24,799 --> 00:17:26,119 Siren: Chad is good. 506 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:30,240 Siren: Um, but Chad also, he would regularly go up. 507 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:31,339 Siren: He would drive from, like 508 00:17:31,339 --> 00:17:32,779 Siren: Philadelphia to Syracuse, New 509 00:17:32,779 --> 00:17:34,960 Siren: York, to hang out with his ex's 510 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,440 Siren: parents because he wasn't close 511 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:38,400 Siren: with his parents, is what he 512 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:39,160 Siren: said. 513 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,480 Siren: But like, would cancel dates on 514 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,519 Siren: me to, like, drive to Syracuse, 515 00:17:43,519 --> 00:17:44,740 Siren: New York to hang out with his 516 00:17:44,740 --> 00:17:45,880 Siren: ex's parents? 517 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:47,559 Wendy: Hell, no. Hell, no. 518 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:49,279 Siren: Yeah, yeah. 519 00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:49,640 Wendy: No. 520 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:51,359 Siren: So there was a lot more red flags. 521 00:17:51,359 --> 00:17:53,880 Siren: But listen, it was my first time dating a dude. 522 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:55,880 Siren: I had no idea what the fuck I was doing. 523 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,400 Siren: I was like, this is just what guys do, right? 524 00:17:58,400 --> 00:17:59,960 Siren: Like, this is just what guys do. 525 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:03,319 Siren: And I was quickly realized, I'm just not not into guys. 526 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,880 Wendy: Yeah. You're like, you're full of fuckery. 527 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:06,799 Wendy: I'm out of here. 528 00:18:06,799 --> 00:18:07,960 Wendy: That's immediate. 529 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,599 Wendy: Hell motherfucking no. 530 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,079 Siren: What's the biggest red flag you 531 00:18:11,079 --> 00:18:12,839 Siren: overlooked before you realized 532 00:18:12,839 --> 00:18:13,200 Siren: it? 533 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,000 Siren: Is that too real a question? 534 00:18:14,839 --> 00:18:16,069 Wendy: Oh, shit. 535 00:18:16,069 --> 00:18:20,150 Wendy: The biggest red flag before I realized it. 536 00:18:20,150 --> 00:18:23,150 Wendy: Dating someone who was in a 537 00:18:23,150 --> 00:18:24,789 Wendy: relationship that I didn't 538 00:18:24,789 --> 00:18:25,710 Wendy: realize they were in a 539 00:18:25,710 --> 00:18:27,230 Wendy: relationship until I caught 540 00:18:27,230 --> 00:18:32,809 Wendy: feelings, and then they were 541 00:18:32,809 --> 00:18:35,190 Wendy: diddling me. 542 00:18:35,190 --> 00:18:39,309 Wendy: Their current was at boot camp basic. 543 00:18:39,309 --> 00:18:40,670 Wendy: And then they. 544 00:18:40,670 --> 00:18:45,950 Wendy: I found out they were fucking their other ex who they cheated 545 00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:50,130 Wendy: on to be with this person at boot camp, and I didn't I didn't 546 00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:53,750 Wendy: totally bounce out of the situation when I should have. 547 00:18:53,750 --> 00:18:54,910 Wendy: Like, that was my first wife. 548 00:18:54,910 --> 00:18:57,269 Wendy: That's how we met. 549 00:18:57,269 --> 00:18:58,950 Wendy: And not only was. 550 00:18:58,789 --> 00:19:01,829 Siren: She really went tongue first, like for sure. 551 00:19:02,109 --> 00:19:05,630 Wendy: All anyone who will pay attention to her vagina 552 00:19:05,630 --> 00:19:06,829 Wendy: straighten their face. 553 00:19:06,829 --> 00:19:11,950 Wendy: Not only that, she came to like, she came to like, fill me out 554 00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:16,450 Wendy: because the ex that she Diddled was trying to date me, and I 555 00:19:16,450 --> 00:19:18,609 Wendy: couldn't get the girl to come like meet up with me. 556 00:19:18,609 --> 00:19:20,809 Wendy: So she met up with me, and then 557 00:19:20,809 --> 00:19:22,450 Wendy: we ended up liking each other 558 00:19:22,450 --> 00:19:24,890 Wendy: and then come to find out, like 559 00:19:24,890 --> 00:19:27,049 Wendy: we started dating and then the 560 00:19:27,049 --> 00:19:29,029 Wendy: chick was at boot camp, and then 561 00:19:29,029 --> 00:19:29,849 Wendy: you're. 562 00:19:29,849 --> 00:19:31,970 Wendy: I found out you're fucking your ex. 563 00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:33,549 Wendy: And I was just like, I should 564 00:19:33,549 --> 00:19:34,809 Wendy: have ended that shit then and 565 00:19:34,809 --> 00:19:34,970 Wendy: there. 566 00:19:34,970 --> 00:19:35,930 Wendy: I was dumb. 567 00:19:35,930 --> 00:19:38,410 Wendy: I was newly into the lesbian scene. 568 00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:40,750 Wendy: That would have saved me 569 00:19:40,750 --> 00:19:42,009 Wendy: thirteen years of heartbreak if 570 00:19:42,009 --> 00:19:43,210 Wendy: I would have just been like, you 571 00:19:43,210 --> 00:19:43,650 Wendy: know what? 572 00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:45,849 Wendy: I'm the only motherfucker single here. 573 00:19:45,849 --> 00:19:46,970 Wendy: Deuces. 574 00:19:46,970 --> 00:19:48,210 Wendy: Have fun with that. 575 00:19:49,569 --> 00:19:50,930 Siren: Is it a red flag? 576 00:19:50,930 --> 00:19:53,869 Siren: If someone changes the, like, 577 00:19:53,869 --> 00:19:55,970 Siren: the day before the date, the 578 00:19:55,970 --> 00:19:57,089 Siren: first date that you have with 579 00:19:57,089 --> 00:19:58,130 Siren: them. 580 00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:02,930 Siren: After talking for a while, uh, changes the solo one on one date 581 00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:06,009 Siren: to a. Hey, do you want to go on a date with me and my new 582 00:20:06,009 --> 00:20:08,009 Siren: girlfriend at the same time? 583 00:20:08,009 --> 00:20:09,970 Siren: What, like two days before the date? 584 00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:10,789 Wendy: No. Oh. 585 00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:14,109 Siren: Is that a red flag? 586 00:20:14,710 --> 00:20:16,349 Wendy: Yeah. Like what? 587 00:20:16,630 --> 00:20:20,549 Siren: But, like, I was poly adjacent at the time. 588 00:20:20,549 --> 00:20:23,829 Siren: I was still, like, co-parenting with my ex. 589 00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:27,789 Wendy: But did you know the person that they were wanting to bring? 590 00:20:27,829 --> 00:20:28,589 Siren: No. 591 00:20:29,670 --> 00:20:31,730 Wendy: Hell, no. That's like maybe day 592 00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:33,390 Wendy: two after I fucking get to know 593 00:20:33,390 --> 00:20:34,869 Wendy: you on my own, then you can 594 00:20:34,869 --> 00:20:36,390 Wendy: bring in. 595 00:20:36,390 --> 00:20:37,710 Wendy: Oh, what's her nuts? 596 00:20:37,549 --> 00:20:38,990 Siren: What do you think I said? 597 00:20:39,750 --> 00:20:40,829 Wendy: You said sure. 598 00:20:40,670 --> 00:20:42,710 Siren: I said, of course. 599 00:20:42,710 --> 00:20:43,869 Siren: I said of course. 600 00:20:43,869 --> 00:20:44,869 Siren: Why not? 601 00:20:45,069 --> 00:20:45,950 Wendy: The more. 602 00:20:45,789 --> 00:20:46,710 Wendy: The merrier. 603 00:20:46,549 --> 00:20:47,109 Siren: Oh my. 604 00:20:46,910 --> 00:20:48,190 Wendy: God. Everyone come. 605 00:20:47,990 --> 00:20:48,509 Wendy: In. 606 00:20:48,990 --> 00:20:50,670 Siren: That's what ended up happening. 607 00:20:50,670 --> 00:20:52,490 Siren: It took a couple days, but yeah, 608 00:20:52,490 --> 00:20:53,869 Siren: that's another story for another 609 00:20:53,869 --> 00:20:55,029 Siren: time though. 610 00:20:55,029 --> 00:20:57,950 Siren: Wow wow wow. 611 00:20:57,950 --> 00:21:00,710 Siren: Listen, t for t for t is something. 612 00:21:00,710 --> 00:21:01,950 Siren: It's it's next. 613 00:21:01,950 --> 00:21:05,390 Siren: It's that's another level entirely. 614 00:21:05,349 --> 00:21:08,579 Wendy: Indeed. And indeed indeed. 615 00:21:08,579 --> 00:21:09,900 Wendy: Wow. Okay. 616 00:21:10,140 --> 00:21:12,579 Siren: Okay. Moving on. 617 00:21:12,579 --> 00:21:12,819 Siren: Quick! 618 00:21:12,819 --> 00:21:13,579 Siren: Fire round! 619 00:21:13,579 --> 00:21:14,980 Siren: Red flag or deal breaker. 620 00:21:14,980 --> 00:21:16,980 Siren: They still talk to their ex every day. 621 00:21:17,259 --> 00:21:18,099 Wendy: Deal breaker? 622 00:21:17,940 --> 00:21:18,579 Siren: Deal breaker. 623 00:21:18,579 --> 00:21:19,019 Siren: For sure. 624 00:21:19,019 --> 00:21:22,700 Siren: They won't post you, but post gym mirror selfies. 625 00:21:23,099 --> 00:21:24,140 Wendy: Deal breaker. 626 00:21:23,980 --> 00:21:25,259 Siren: That's a red flag. 627 00:21:25,259 --> 00:21:28,700 Siren: But the conversation would probably end in a deal breaker. 628 00:21:28,700 --> 00:21:31,140 Siren: They say I don't do labels. 629 00:21:31,299 --> 00:21:32,460 Wendy: Red flag. 630 00:21:32,299 --> 00:21:33,779 Siren: I don't think I've ever actually 631 00:21:33,779 --> 00:21:35,440 Siren: heard someone say I don't do 632 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:36,420 Siren: labels. 633 00:21:36,220 --> 00:21:38,380 Wendy: I have for sure. 634 00:21:38,980 --> 00:21:42,059 Siren: Yeah, I feel like that would be a big old question mark. 635 00:21:42,059 --> 00:21:43,420 Siren: Red flag for sure. 636 00:21:43,420 --> 00:21:46,539 Siren: Um, they ghost you for three days, then text. 637 00:21:46,539 --> 00:21:47,539 Siren: Hey, babe. 638 00:21:47,460 --> 00:21:48,460 Squeezy: Fuck off. 639 00:21:51,180 --> 00:21:52,660 Wendy: Fuck off. 640 00:21:52,940 --> 00:21:53,660 Siren: Fucking. 641 00:21:53,660 --> 00:21:55,779 Siren: The only person in my life that 642 00:21:55,779 --> 00:21:57,140 Siren: I've ever done this with is 643 00:21:57,140 --> 00:21:58,299 Siren: fucking Chad. 644 00:21:58,299 --> 00:21:59,500 Siren: A fucking Chad. 645 00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:01,660 Siren: Chad had such a grip on me for some reason. 646 00:22:01,660 --> 00:22:03,779 Siren: God damn it, Chad. 647 00:22:03,779 --> 00:22:04,900 Siren: Oh my God. 648 00:22:04,940 --> 00:22:05,539 Wendy: Brad. 649 00:22:05,339 --> 00:22:06,539 Wendy: Chad, what the fuck? 650 00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:09,000 Siren: Wow. 651 00:22:08,839 --> 00:22:09,960 Wendy: The last one. 652 00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,119 Wendy: That'll send me straight. 653 00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:14,720 Wendy: Uh. 654 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:17,160 Siren: Same. Same. 655 00:22:17,599 --> 00:22:18,799 Wendy: We're fucking adults. 656 00:22:18,799 --> 00:22:19,920 Wendy: We don't ghost people. 657 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,200 Wendy: And then be like, hey, fuck off. 658 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:25,119 Wendy: I respond three days later with fuck off. 659 00:22:25,599 --> 00:22:26,880 Siren: Three more days. 660 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:28,720 Siren: Yeah. Not not worth it. 661 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:32,279 Wendy: I mean, what moral of the story is siren? 662 00:22:32,279 --> 00:22:36,279 Wendy: Stop turning red flags into fucking pride flags, okay? 663 00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:42,400 Siren: I mean, listen, the more teas you add, it does get spicier. 664 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,519 Wendy: Yeah, yeah. 665 00:22:44,519 --> 00:22:46,839 Siren: Put it on a stick and wave goodbye. 666 00:22:46,839 --> 00:22:47,720 Siren: What is that? 667 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:49,240 Siren: Did you write that? 668 00:22:54,079 --> 00:22:56,680 Siren: Put it on a stick and wave goodbye. 669 00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:58,359 Siren: Oh my God. 670 00:22:58,359 --> 00:22:59,720 Siren: Put the flag on a stick. 671 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,319 Siren: Put it on a stick and wave goodbye. 672 00:23:02,319 --> 00:23:03,160 Siren: Oh my God. 673 00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:06,869 Wendy: On a stick and put it in your mouth. 674 00:23:07,549 --> 00:23:08,470 Siren: I'm done. 675 00:23:09,390 --> 00:23:11,470 Siren: Guys, you've made it to the second course. 676 00:23:11,470 --> 00:23:13,109 Siren: Well done everybody. 677 00:23:13,109 --> 00:23:13,589 Siren: Did you like. 678 00:23:13,589 --> 00:23:14,069 Siren: Did you enjoy the. 679 00:23:14,069 --> 00:23:15,710 Siren: I hope everybody enjoyed the first course. 680 00:23:15,710 --> 00:23:16,309 Siren: That was good. 681 00:23:16,309 --> 00:23:18,910 Siren: We had our little, um, palate cleanser. 682 00:23:25,269 --> 00:23:25,950 Siren: Okay. 683 00:23:25,950 --> 00:23:28,029 Siren: Second course. 684 00:23:28,029 --> 00:23:30,430 Siren: Second course, y'all. 685 00:23:30,430 --> 00:23:34,869 Siren: But, Steph, let's normalize it. 686 00:23:34,869 --> 00:23:38,150 Siren: I honestly, I didn't think it was abnormal. 687 00:23:38,150 --> 00:23:43,710 Siren: I think maybe we're we're like I like I is it abnormal? 688 00:23:43,710 --> 00:23:44,150 Siren: Maybe. 689 00:23:44,150 --> 00:23:45,190 Siren: That's a good question. 690 00:23:45,190 --> 00:23:46,750 Siren: Is it abnormal in lesbian spaces. 691 00:23:46,750 --> 00:23:48,069 Siren: We can get into that in a second. 692 00:23:48,069 --> 00:23:50,970 Siren: A full confession going through 693 00:23:50,970 --> 00:23:53,809 Siren: the the script that you sent me, 694 00:23:53,809 --> 00:23:55,710 Siren: I read it went through all the 695 00:23:55,710 --> 00:23:57,369 Siren: sections except for this one 696 00:23:57,369 --> 00:23:59,470 Siren: because I was like, I'm not sure 697 00:23:59,470 --> 00:24:01,230 Siren: what's here. 698 00:24:01,230 --> 00:24:03,250 Siren: And I'm excited to explore it. 699 00:24:03,250 --> 00:24:04,049 Siren: Just like Beth. 700 00:24:04,049 --> 00:24:04,450 Siren: Steph. 701 00:24:04,450 --> 00:24:06,190 Siren: But like sometimes you have to 702 00:24:06,190 --> 00:24:08,210 Siren: like, you have to just go in 703 00:24:08,210 --> 00:24:09,130 Siren: blind. 704 00:24:09,490 --> 00:24:10,849 Wendy: Yeah. I mean, you have to go in blind. 705 00:24:10,849 --> 00:24:14,049 Wendy: Let's normalize talking about it without fucking giggling and 706 00:24:14,049 --> 00:24:16,210 Wendy: being little middle schoolers. 707 00:24:16,210 --> 00:24:18,690 Wendy: Lube is self-care, y'all. 708 00:24:18,690 --> 00:24:21,170 Wendy: But if you say poo, I'll probably giggle. 709 00:24:21,170 --> 00:24:22,170 Wendy: I'm not gonna lie. 710 00:24:23,170 --> 00:24:24,210 Wendy: Don't say poo poo. 711 00:24:24,210 --> 00:24:27,089 Wendy: If you say it twice, then we're really gonna fucking chuckle. 712 00:24:27,089 --> 00:24:27,970 Siren: Well, three times. 713 00:24:27,970 --> 00:24:29,329 Siren: And then you summon. 714 00:24:29,329 --> 00:24:31,769 Wendy: Yeah, you summon the poo emoji. 715 00:24:31,769 --> 00:24:35,890 Wendy: It'll just it'll come out and like little shards of poo will 716 00:24:35,890 --> 00:24:36,970 Wendy: be flying off of it. 717 00:24:36,970 --> 00:24:39,809 Wendy: And it's giggling and like, has 718 00:24:39,809 --> 00:24:41,849 Wendy: a snail trail of shit everywhere 719 00:24:41,849 --> 00:24:42,970 Wendy: behind it. 720 00:24:42,769 --> 00:24:45,289 Siren: So we're not gonna talk about that. 721 00:24:45,289 --> 00:24:47,589 Siren: That's the last mention of of of 722 00:24:47,589 --> 00:24:49,410 Siren: poo as part of this 723 00:24:49,410 --> 00:24:50,289 Siren: conversation. 724 00:24:50,289 --> 00:24:53,289 Siren: If that's your kink that like. 725 00:24:53,130 --> 00:24:54,170 Wendy: Don't tell us about. 726 00:24:53,970 --> 00:24:54,970 Siren: It. That's fine. 727 00:24:54,970 --> 00:24:56,289 Siren: Let that be your kink. 728 00:24:56,289 --> 00:24:58,490 Siren: Um, I would recommend. 729 00:24:58,319 --> 00:24:59,000 Wendy: Of time. 730 00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:03,319 Siren: Lots of antibiotics maybe, I don't know. 731 00:25:03,319 --> 00:25:03,920 Siren: Um. 732 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,319 Wendy: Yeah. Microbes. 733 00:25:07,319 --> 00:25:08,720 Wendy: Microbes? 734 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,640 Siren: No, I don't know, but we could talk about that. 735 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,279 Siren: That's not we're talking about here, though. 736 00:25:13,279 --> 00:25:14,700 Siren: Like we're talking about, like, 737 00:25:14,700 --> 00:25:16,359 Siren: just like just like other areas 738 00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:17,720 Siren: of the body that people enjoy 739 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:18,559 Siren: being touched. 740 00:25:18,559 --> 00:25:23,319 Siren: There are sensitive areas down in that region, too. 741 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:23,920 Wendy: Wow. 742 00:25:23,839 --> 00:25:27,680 Siren: Um, when you see your face. 743 00:25:28,759 --> 00:25:35,440 Wendy: I have not partaken in the butt stuff. 744 00:25:35,279 --> 00:25:37,079 Siren: In any sense of the word either. 745 00:25:37,079 --> 00:25:37,839 Siren: Either way. 746 00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:41,500 Wendy: Um, I think when I have like my 747 00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:43,559 Wendy: boyfriend of like five years, a 748 00:25:43,559 --> 00:25:45,440 Wendy: long time ago, he tried and I 749 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:47,579 Wendy: was like, nope, we're good, 750 00:25:47,579 --> 00:25:49,519 Wendy: we're good. 751 00:25:49,599 --> 00:25:50,480 Siren: Okay, so. 752 00:25:50,279 --> 00:25:51,279 Wendy: You've, uh. 753 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:52,240 Siren: Yeah. 754 00:25:52,079 --> 00:25:55,079 Wendy: Never really experimented with that. 755 00:25:55,319 --> 00:25:56,119 Siren: Okay. 756 00:25:55,960 --> 00:26:01,339 Wendy: I mean, am I, like, totally against it? 757 00:26:01,339 --> 00:26:02,740 Wendy: It depends on what it is. 758 00:26:02,740 --> 00:26:04,740 Wendy: It depends on what it is. 759 00:26:04,740 --> 00:26:06,900 Wendy: But I'd say to date. 760 00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:08,579 Wendy: Yes. 761 00:26:08,579 --> 00:26:10,900 Wendy: Not something I've diddled with. 762 00:26:10,859 --> 00:26:14,700 Siren: Okay, I. So a couple of important things to remember 763 00:26:14,700 --> 00:26:16,220 Siren: before we get into this. 764 00:26:16,220 --> 00:26:18,019 Siren: Um, this includes with the podcast. 765 00:26:18,019 --> 00:26:20,019 Siren: This includes with the people 766 00:26:20,019 --> 00:26:22,019 Siren: who are on live on TikTok right 767 00:26:22,019 --> 00:26:22,299 Siren: now. 768 00:26:22,299 --> 00:26:25,099 Siren: If this is making you uncomfortable. 769 00:26:25,579 --> 00:26:26,539 Wendy: Trigger warning. 770 00:26:26,579 --> 00:26:28,500 Siren: Um, trigger warning. 771 00:26:28,500 --> 00:26:32,420 Siren: You can swipe out, you can come back, you can skip forward. 772 00:26:32,420 --> 00:26:33,900 Siren: That's totally okay. 773 00:26:34,500 --> 00:26:35,700 Wendy: Um, absolutely. 774 00:26:35,539 --> 00:26:37,180 Siren: I'm gonna guess, like, we're 775 00:26:37,180 --> 00:26:38,839 Siren: gonna talk about it in podcast 776 00:26:38,839 --> 00:26:41,559 Siren: land for another eight and a 777 00:26:41,559 --> 00:26:42,539 Siren: half minutes. 778 00:26:42,539 --> 00:26:43,539 Siren: That's my guess. 779 00:26:43,539 --> 00:26:44,339 Siren: Off the cuff. 780 00:26:44,339 --> 00:26:45,819 Siren: I have no idea. 781 00:26:45,819 --> 00:26:46,819 Siren: But skip forward a little bit if 782 00:26:46,819 --> 00:26:47,339 Siren: it's making you feel 783 00:26:47,339 --> 00:26:48,740 Siren: uncomfortable anyway, because 784 00:26:48,740 --> 00:26:49,619 Siren: there are people who've had 785 00:26:49,619 --> 00:26:52,079 Siren: trauma with with this area of 786 00:26:52,079 --> 00:26:52,579 Siren: their body. 787 00:26:52,579 --> 00:26:56,089 Siren: So like, please, like I respect that and like it's important to 788 00:26:56,089 --> 00:27:00,089 Siren: note, but communication is key. 789 00:27:00,089 --> 00:27:02,450 Siren: Consent is fucking key. 790 00:27:02,450 --> 00:27:04,289 Siren: Comfort and cleanliness is key. 791 00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:06,450 Siren: All these things should be considered without just like 792 00:27:06,450 --> 00:27:09,170 Siren: diving into things and checking in with your partner. 793 00:27:09,170 --> 00:27:10,009 Siren: Right? 794 00:27:10,009 --> 00:27:10,930 Siren: Because I'm gonna. 795 00:27:10,930 --> 00:27:12,049 Siren: I'm gonna be honest with you. 796 00:27:12,049 --> 00:27:15,410 Siren: Like, there are certain aspects 797 00:27:15,410 --> 00:27:18,410 Siren: of this activity in that region 798 00:27:18,410 --> 00:27:22,210 Siren: that we can explore as human 799 00:27:22,210 --> 00:27:24,569 Siren: beings, right? 800 00:27:24,569 --> 00:27:30,650 Siren: But like, some of them are really nice. 801 00:27:30,650 --> 00:27:34,009 Siren: Like, some of them are like like, like really good. 802 00:27:34,009 --> 00:27:36,890 Siren: And that's just not speaking as someone who has a prostate. 803 00:27:38,049 --> 00:27:41,410 Wendy: Well, I mean, is there one right way to do it? 804 00:27:41,410 --> 00:27:43,809 Wendy: Like prep patience and trust? 805 00:27:43,809 --> 00:27:45,569 Wendy: Is the Holy Trinity right? 806 00:27:45,569 --> 00:27:47,250 Wendy: Is that what we're getting at here? 807 00:27:48,089 --> 00:27:51,769 Siren: Like, I mean, prep is important, obviously. 808 00:27:51,769 --> 00:27:53,230 Siren: Like, you want to be clean. 809 00:27:53,710 --> 00:27:54,630 Wendy: Yes. 810 00:27:54,470 --> 00:27:55,109 Siren: Yeah. 811 00:27:54,950 --> 00:27:55,670 Wendy: Could you imagine? 812 00:27:55,670 --> 00:27:57,150 Wendy: I would be devastated. 813 00:27:57,230 --> 00:27:59,150 Siren: I know, I know, am I. 814 00:27:58,990 --> 00:28:00,410 Wendy: Tried something and then like, 815 00:28:00,410 --> 00:28:01,470 Wendy: oh my God, I would be 816 00:28:01,470 --> 00:28:02,549 Wendy: devastated. 817 00:28:02,589 --> 00:28:05,069 Siren: Oh if, if like if like something happened. 818 00:28:04,910 --> 00:28:06,029 Wendy: I would just break up. 819 00:28:06,029 --> 00:28:07,109 Wendy: It would just break up. 820 00:28:06,910 --> 00:28:08,990 Siren: Oh my God, oh my God. 821 00:28:09,789 --> 00:28:11,309 Wendy: We'd break up like. 822 00:28:11,309 --> 00:28:12,789 Wendy: Yeah it would. 823 00:28:12,789 --> 00:28:13,349 Wendy: Yes. 824 00:28:13,349 --> 00:28:13,910 Wendy: Yeah. 825 00:28:13,910 --> 00:28:14,470 Wendy: No. 826 00:28:14,309 --> 00:28:15,069 Siren: Yeah. 827 00:28:15,349 --> 00:28:16,430 Wendy: See you later. 828 00:28:16,269 --> 00:28:19,390 Siren: Being patient with your partner is important. 829 00:28:19,390 --> 00:28:19,990 Siren: Absolutely. 830 00:28:19,990 --> 00:28:21,789 Siren: Both sides of that, that spectrum. 831 00:28:21,789 --> 00:28:25,950 Siren: The person who is never interacted in that way before, 832 00:28:25,950 --> 00:28:29,069 Siren: even if both partners have never interacted with that way before. 833 00:28:29,069 --> 00:28:30,630 Siren: It's definitely something that 834 00:28:30,630 --> 00:28:32,450 Siren: takes time and patience to to 835 00:28:32,450 --> 00:28:33,150 Siren: explore. 836 00:28:32,990 --> 00:28:37,970 Wendy: I mean, I think if you're you have a partner that you're open 837 00:28:37,970 --> 00:28:42,789 Wendy: in every aspect of the way, it can't be a bad thing, you know. 838 00:28:42,789 --> 00:28:43,190 Wendy: Right. 839 00:28:43,190 --> 00:28:47,750 Wendy: And, you know, get a give a throw a little, you know, code 840 00:28:47,750 --> 00:28:48,789 Wendy: word in there. 841 00:28:49,109 --> 00:28:50,339 Siren: Sure, sure. 842 00:28:50,180 --> 00:28:51,900 Wendy: You know dingleberry. 843 00:28:53,299 --> 00:28:54,500 Siren: Dingleberry? 844 00:28:55,019 --> 00:28:56,779 Wendy: Dingleberry is the code word. 845 00:28:57,779 --> 00:29:00,380 Wendy: If you're diddling the booty hole. 846 00:29:00,380 --> 00:29:02,380 Wendy: Dingleberry is the code word. 847 00:29:02,380 --> 00:29:03,480 Wendy: You have to make it fun, too, 848 00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:07,019 Wendy: because, like, if I. Okay, how 849 00:29:07,019 --> 00:29:09,059 Wendy: many people have, like, straight 850 00:29:09,059 --> 00:29:12,140 Wendy: up cackled during a sexual 851 00:29:12,140 --> 00:29:12,940 Wendy: escapade? 852 00:29:12,940 --> 00:29:16,220 Wendy: Like, you're doing something and then something happens and 853 00:29:16,220 --> 00:29:18,099 Wendy: you're just cackling like. 854 00:29:17,940 --> 00:29:18,740 Siren: Oh, yeah. 855 00:29:19,059 --> 00:29:20,700 Wendy: I have a lot of those. 856 00:29:20,700 --> 00:29:22,099 Wendy: I have a lot of those. 857 00:29:22,019 --> 00:29:22,740 Siren: Yeah. 858 00:29:23,819 --> 00:29:25,220 Wendy: And then you go back to it. 859 00:29:25,220 --> 00:29:26,059 Wendy: It's fun. 860 00:29:26,059 --> 00:29:27,299 Wendy: Have a little giggle. 861 00:29:27,099 --> 00:29:29,660 Siren: Yeah. Exactly. Exactly, exactly. 862 00:29:29,660 --> 00:29:33,299 Siren: Okay, so back back to the question at hand though. 863 00:29:33,700 --> 00:29:35,019 Wendy: Um yes. 864 00:29:35,019 --> 00:29:40,019 Siren: Prep prep conversation communication number one. 865 00:29:40,019 --> 00:29:41,660 Siren: That's prep number one. 866 00:29:41,660 --> 00:29:45,660 Siren: Number two, if you want to be like really clean about it, go 867 00:29:45,660 --> 00:29:47,519 Siren: to your local pharmacy. 868 00:29:47,519 --> 00:29:51,039 Siren: get and they call it a rectal syringe. 869 00:29:51,039 --> 00:29:51,960 Siren: An enema. 870 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:55,259 Siren: It works, but they call it a rectal syringe is a reusable 871 00:29:55,259 --> 00:30:01,799 Siren: like rubber ball that you can fill with water and just shoot 872 00:30:01,799 --> 00:30:06,039 Siren: up there and clean yourself out a few times and eventually just 873 00:30:06,039 --> 00:30:09,240 Siren: run and clear and your body's not moving anything. 874 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:13,700 Siren: And then like, you're fine for a while and things happen, but 875 00:30:13,700 --> 00:30:16,680 Siren: like, you can only be as clean as you can be. 876 00:30:17,079 --> 00:30:18,400 Wendy: When I trust your process. 877 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,000 Wendy: I've never tried it before, but 878 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:21,339 Wendy: we'll trust what you're saying, 879 00:30:21,339 --> 00:30:22,079 Wendy: right? 880 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:23,519 Siren: So a bidet. 881 00:30:23,519 --> 00:30:24,720 Siren: Bidet would be good as well. 882 00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:26,960 Siren: Exactly, exactly a bidet. 883 00:30:26,799 --> 00:30:30,279 Wendy: Okay. Um, okay. 884 00:30:30,279 --> 00:30:32,079 Wendy: I could see where that would be helpful. 885 00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:35,079 Wendy: I'm scared of bidets, though. 886 00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:36,200 Siren: And honestly, like. 887 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:38,480 Siren: Like, if you're nervous to talk about it, that's okay. 888 00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:41,720 Siren: But if you're too nervous to talk about it at all, like it's 889 00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:43,759 Siren: probably not your thing. 890 00:30:43,759 --> 00:30:45,859 Siren: Maybe, like. 891 00:30:45,859 --> 00:30:47,619 Siren: wait or don't. 892 00:30:48,259 --> 00:30:49,900 Wendy: Yeah. I mean, because no means 893 00:30:49,900 --> 00:30:51,339 Wendy: no means no. It's a whole 894 00:30:51,339 --> 00:30:51,819 Wendy: sentence. 895 00:30:51,819 --> 00:30:56,940 Wendy: And like, you know, what's good at is like, good aftercare. 896 00:30:56,940 --> 00:31:00,220 Wendy: Have some snuggles, cuddles and snack. 897 00:31:00,220 --> 00:31:00,900 Siren: But they they. 898 00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:01,900 Siren: That's true. 899 00:31:01,900 --> 00:31:03,779 Siren: That's true for like. 900 00:31:03,779 --> 00:31:06,779 Siren: But snuggles is true for like literally anything. 901 00:31:06,819 --> 00:31:07,380 Siren: True. 902 00:31:07,220 --> 00:31:08,059 Siren: Aftercare. 903 00:31:07,859 --> 00:31:08,299 Siren: Wise. 904 00:31:08,420 --> 00:31:12,619 Wendy: Snuggle will do good a forehead kiss who doesn't love a little? 905 00:31:14,019 --> 00:31:16,339 Wendy: A little smoochy smooch on the forehead? 906 00:31:17,259 --> 00:31:20,900 Siren: So yeah, forehead kisses after but stuff? 907 00:31:20,900 --> 00:31:21,940 Siren: Yes, definitely. 908 00:31:21,940 --> 00:31:23,079 Siren: Definitely need to have some 909 00:31:23,079 --> 00:31:25,380 Siren: merch that says that like for 910 00:31:25,380 --> 00:31:27,099 Siren: kisses are always deserved after 911 00:31:27,099 --> 00:31:27,980 Siren: bad stuff. 912 00:31:28,220 --> 00:31:29,299 Wendy: Exactly. 913 00:31:29,140 --> 00:31:31,099 Siren: Other part of the conversation that I wanted to say before we 914 00:31:31,099 --> 00:31:35,279 Siren: ended this, this section, we can move back when it comes to like 915 00:31:35,279 --> 00:31:36,619 Siren: where to start. 916 00:31:37,700 --> 00:31:41,119 Siren: Don't even worry about entry 917 00:31:41,119 --> 00:31:43,609 Siren: penetration at all with any 918 00:31:43,609 --> 00:31:44,769 Siren: aspect. 919 00:31:44,769 --> 00:31:48,490 Siren: Just play around with pressure and touch. 920 00:31:48,490 --> 00:31:52,049 Siren: Then you'll be surprised with the feelings and the sensations 921 00:31:52,049 --> 00:31:52,970 Siren: that you can find. 922 00:31:52,970 --> 00:31:56,250 Siren: And you never know. 923 00:31:59,609 --> 00:32:02,329 Wendy: I might not ever know, but that's fine. 924 00:32:02,329 --> 00:32:03,089 Siren: That's fair. 925 00:32:02,930 --> 00:32:06,569 Wendy: That's allowed through you for sure. 926 00:32:06,569 --> 00:32:11,450 Wendy: But you know, some people are just really against it. 927 00:32:11,450 --> 00:32:12,450 Wendy: Okay. 928 00:32:12,450 --> 00:32:14,809 Wendy: So that's okay. 929 00:32:14,809 --> 00:32:17,650 Wendy: And we were we respect our partners as well. 930 00:32:17,650 --> 00:32:18,329 Wendy: Yeah. 931 00:32:18,250 --> 00:32:18,809 Siren: Exactly. 932 00:32:18,809 --> 00:32:19,490 Siren: Yes. 933 00:32:20,089 --> 00:32:21,049 Wendy: It's all good. 934 00:32:21,490 --> 00:32:22,970 Siren: We you guys we made it through this. 935 00:32:23,089 --> 00:32:24,609 Wendy: Course we did. 936 00:32:24,609 --> 00:32:25,769 Wendy: We made it. 937 00:32:25,609 --> 00:32:27,210 Siren: We made it to the second course. 938 00:32:27,250 --> 00:32:29,289 Wendy: Are you feeling satiated? 939 00:32:29,089 --> 00:32:32,809 Siren: I'm feeling, I'm feeling I'm 940 00:32:32,809 --> 00:32:33,690 Siren: feeling like we talked about all 941 00:32:33,690 --> 00:32:33,970 Siren: this stuff. 942 00:32:33,970 --> 00:32:35,690 Siren: We need to talk about all the 943 00:32:35,690 --> 00:32:36,690 Siren: stuff that I like, wanted to 944 00:32:36,690 --> 00:32:37,089 Siren: talk about. 945 00:32:37,089 --> 00:32:39,410 Siren: Um, there's so many other things that we could talk about in 946 00:32:39,410 --> 00:32:41,509 Siren: terms of that I don't again. 947 00:32:41,630 --> 00:32:43,670 Wendy: Beads and plugs and like. 948 00:32:43,509 --> 00:32:44,910 Siren: Right. And I don't have a ton of 949 00:32:44,910 --> 00:32:47,769 Siren: experience either with it 950 00:32:47,769 --> 00:32:48,710 Siren: stories. 951 00:32:48,710 --> 00:32:54,430 Siren: I got a story the first time someone put their tongue. 952 00:32:54,430 --> 00:32:59,210 Siren: The first the first time someone put their tongue inside like 953 00:32:59,210 --> 00:33:02,670 Siren: that was that was a that was an experience like I'd never 954 00:33:02,670 --> 00:33:04,750 Siren: experienced before in my life. 955 00:33:05,390 --> 00:33:06,670 Siren: I don't know. 956 00:33:06,789 --> 00:33:09,750 Wendy: I don't know that I would have any sort of like. 957 00:33:11,789 --> 00:33:13,230 Wendy: Arousal. 958 00:33:15,710 --> 00:33:17,269 Wendy: Around that area. 959 00:33:17,269 --> 00:33:17,950 Wendy: But I don't know. 960 00:33:17,950 --> 00:33:22,910 Wendy: I've never let someone get near 961 00:33:22,910 --> 00:33:26,309 Wendy: that to even more with their 962 00:33:26,309 --> 00:33:27,150 Wendy: face. 963 00:33:27,950 --> 00:33:29,390 Siren: And what about fingers? 964 00:33:31,309 --> 00:33:33,430 Wendy: Um, I don't know if I want 965 00:33:33,430 --> 00:33:36,569 Wendy: anyone putting their finger in 966 00:33:36,569 --> 00:33:37,309 Wendy: my. 967 00:33:37,190 --> 00:33:40,059 Siren: Don't put it in not don't just don't put it in. 968 00:33:39,900 --> 00:33:42,140 Wendy: I mean, I'm like, maybe around. 969 00:33:42,140 --> 00:33:42,579 Wendy: Yeah. 970 00:33:42,579 --> 00:33:43,740 Wendy: Maybe around. 971 00:33:43,579 --> 00:33:44,140 Siren: Yeah. 972 00:33:43,940 --> 00:33:44,500 Wendy: We could. 973 00:33:44,299 --> 00:33:45,299 Siren: See. Try that. 974 00:33:45,299 --> 00:33:46,099 Siren: Yeah try that. 975 00:33:46,099 --> 00:33:46,460 Siren: Yeah. 976 00:33:46,259 --> 00:33:47,099 Wendy: We could see. 977 00:33:47,140 --> 00:33:47,779 Siren: Yeah. 978 00:33:48,220 --> 00:33:52,460 Siren: See if it feels weird then like don't ever again it's fine. 979 00:33:52,259 --> 00:33:53,940 Siren: Or if it feels. 980 00:33:53,779 --> 00:33:55,940 Wendy: Dingleberry is the code word. 981 00:33:55,859 --> 00:33:56,299 Siren: Right. 982 00:33:56,299 --> 00:33:57,700 Siren: Dingleberry is a code word. 983 00:34:02,339 --> 00:34:03,779 Wendy: The third course, y'all, is 984 00:34:03,779 --> 00:34:05,380 Wendy: navigating friendships after a 985 00:34:05,380 --> 00:34:06,980 Wendy: queer breakup. 986 00:34:06,980 --> 00:34:10,019 Wendy: Okay, we've all been there. 987 00:34:10,019 --> 00:34:11,860 Wendy: You'd be lying if you say you didn't. 988 00:34:11,860 --> 00:34:13,460 Wendy: Let's get real. 989 00:34:14,579 --> 00:34:19,260 Wendy: Queer breakups hit different and same friend groups, same 990 00:34:19,260 --> 00:34:22,980 Wendy: parties, same TikToks. 991 00:34:22,980 --> 00:34:23,579 Wendy: Fuck. 992 00:34:23,579 --> 00:34:25,500 Wendy: It's a small world. 993 00:34:25,500 --> 00:34:28,659 Wendy: Insert the L word's chart up in this bitch. 994 00:34:28,500 --> 00:34:29,460 Siren: Oh my god. 995 00:34:29,460 --> 00:34:33,300 Siren: Chart TikTok the Tick I couldn't imagine. 996 00:34:33,300 --> 00:34:37,280 Siren: I couldn't imagine the TikTok Tok in the breakup scene. 997 00:34:37,559 --> 00:34:39,760 Wendy: Oh, gosh, it's so crazy. 998 00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:41,119 Wendy: You just block each other. 999 00:34:41,119 --> 00:34:43,440 Wendy: And then people send you shit. 1000 00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:45,320 Wendy: They're like, did you see this? 1001 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:46,719 Wendy: I don't fucking want to see it. 1002 00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,159 Wendy: That's the point, I blocked them. 1003 00:34:49,159 --> 00:34:50,440 Wendy: I don't want to see it. 1004 00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:51,079 Siren: Yeah. 1005 00:34:51,519 --> 00:34:52,599 Siren: But. And it's like you can't 1006 00:34:52,599 --> 00:34:53,679 Siren: escape them, though, at the same 1007 00:34:53,679 --> 00:34:54,400 Siren: time. 1008 00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:56,719 Siren: Uh, even though you kind of want to. 1009 00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:59,940 Siren: But we're just this same small, 1010 00:34:59,940 --> 00:35:01,460 Siren: queer, gay community, this, 1011 00:35:01,460 --> 00:35:03,059 Siren: like, little, little village, 1012 00:35:03,059 --> 00:35:03,400 Siren: you know? 1013 00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:05,239 Siren: You don't want to lose friends 1014 00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:06,260 Siren: because it's not like we have, 1015 00:35:06,260 --> 00:35:07,739 Siren: like, a giant pool of people to 1016 00:35:07,739 --> 00:35:08,599 Siren: pull from. 1017 00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:09,519 Wendy: It's true. 1018 00:35:09,519 --> 00:35:12,400 Wendy: I mean, the hardest part is knowing when to try for 1019 00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,980 Wendy: friendship with that person or like, when to actually just, 1020 00:35:14,980 --> 00:35:16,519 Wendy: like, let fucking go. 1021 00:35:18,039 --> 00:35:22,079 Wendy: That's the hardest part because you're like, I really enjoyed 1022 00:35:22,079 --> 00:35:22,960 Wendy: them at some point. 1023 00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:23,639 Wendy: Like. 1024 00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:27,280 Wendy: Sucks. 1025 00:35:27,119 --> 00:35:29,880 Siren: I'm reading this line and. 1026 00:35:34,750 --> 00:35:36,710 Siren: I feel like it's more directed towards you. 1027 00:35:36,710 --> 00:35:37,429 Siren: Wendy. 1028 00:35:37,710 --> 00:35:39,510 Wendy: Oh, for her for sure. 1029 00:35:39,510 --> 00:35:40,789 Wendy: You want me to go ahead and read it? 1030 00:35:40,630 --> 00:35:43,429 Siren: No. I'm gonna read it to you, baby. 1031 00:35:43,429 --> 00:35:45,989 Siren: You can't heal if you're still trauma. 1032 00:35:45,989 --> 00:35:48,869 Siren: Bonding in each other's dreams every night. 1033 00:35:49,070 --> 00:35:49,670 Siren: Oh. 1034 00:35:49,909 --> 00:35:51,429 Wendy: That's for fucking. 1035 00:35:51,429 --> 00:35:52,190 Wendy: It's fine. 1036 00:35:52,190 --> 00:35:53,949 Wendy: We've digressed from there. 1037 00:35:53,949 --> 00:35:55,630 Wendy: We're married. 1038 00:35:55,750 --> 00:35:56,989 Siren: You're married? 1039 00:35:56,829 --> 00:35:59,630 Wendy: I mean, look, sometimes space is love. 1040 00:35:59,630 --> 00:36:02,429 Wendy: And look, sometimes when you don't know boundaries, that 1041 00:36:02,429 --> 00:36:05,269 Wendy: space feels like shit. 1042 00:36:05,269 --> 00:36:08,670 Wendy: But you can care about someone and still need distance. 1043 00:36:08,670 --> 00:36:11,869 Wendy: And that's really hard for me because I'm a fixer. 1044 00:36:11,869 --> 00:36:12,949 Wendy: I want to fix it. 1045 00:36:12,949 --> 00:36:14,269 Wendy: I want to be like, what can we 1046 00:36:14,269 --> 00:36:16,750 Wendy: do to fix this shit if it's 1047 00:36:16,750 --> 00:36:17,869 Wendy: fixable? 1048 00:36:17,869 --> 00:36:19,949 Wendy: Like, if it's just like trauma that's hurting each other. 1049 00:36:19,949 --> 00:36:25,090 Wendy: Not like, you know, you cheated or you hit me or, you know, 1050 00:36:25,090 --> 00:36:27,190 Wendy: you've done some really shady shit to me. 1051 00:36:27,429 --> 00:36:28,110 Siren: Right? 1052 00:36:27,949 --> 00:36:29,070 Siren: Have you ever. 1053 00:36:30,389 --> 00:36:32,130 Siren: Have you ever spent any time in 1054 00:36:32,130 --> 00:36:34,250 Siren: any, like, polyamory circles, 1055 00:36:34,250 --> 00:36:35,369 Siren: polyamorous communities, or 1056 00:36:35,369 --> 00:36:36,469 Siren: you're very monogamous 1057 00:36:36,469 --> 00:36:37,289 Siren: individual? 1058 00:36:37,809 --> 00:36:42,170 Wendy: Um, I mean, I've, I've known people that were poly. 1059 00:36:42,170 --> 00:36:44,289 Wendy: I've, I've had friends that are poly. 1060 00:36:44,289 --> 00:36:47,010 Wendy: I had a date with this girl that 1061 00:36:47,010 --> 00:36:48,610 Wendy: I met on a dating site when I 1062 00:36:48,610 --> 00:36:52,050 Wendy: was single, probably about a 1063 00:36:52,050 --> 00:36:53,690 Wendy: little over a year ago, and I 1064 00:36:53,690 --> 00:36:55,730 Wendy: didn't read her fine print in 1065 00:36:55,730 --> 00:36:56,250 Wendy: her bio. 1066 00:36:56,250 --> 00:36:58,050 Wendy: I just was like, oh, she's cute. 1067 00:36:59,090 --> 00:37:03,130 Wendy: Read the bio because it said Pollyanna and I probably would 1068 00:37:03,130 --> 00:37:07,949 Wendy: not have set like said yes to the date if I would have 1069 00:37:07,949 --> 00:37:10,690 Wendy: actually saw that. 1070 00:37:10,690 --> 00:37:12,710 Wendy: And then they came here and we 1071 00:37:12,710 --> 00:37:15,650 Wendy: went on a date, and they were 1072 00:37:15,650 --> 00:37:17,969 Wendy: significantly younger than me, 1073 00:37:17,969 --> 00:37:21,010 Wendy: and I just could not get over 1074 00:37:21,010 --> 00:37:23,510 Wendy: that fact that I have nieces 1075 00:37:23,510 --> 00:37:24,690 Wendy: their age. 1076 00:37:24,690 --> 00:37:26,929 Wendy: Like she was twenty seven and I was just like. 1077 00:37:29,599 --> 00:37:33,039 Wendy: And she was just like, I'm okay with it if you are. 1078 00:37:33,039 --> 00:37:38,079 Wendy: And she, like, touched my face like this and was like, hey, 1079 00:37:38,079 --> 00:37:39,679 Wendy: hey, how do you feel about it? 1080 00:37:39,679 --> 00:37:40,639 Wendy: And I was like. 1081 00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:43,800 Siren: Not great. 1082 00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:45,519 Siren: That answered your question right there. 1083 00:37:45,519 --> 00:37:46,519 Siren: Exactly. 1084 00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:52,920 Wendy: I was just like, I feel like I'm not supposed to be doing this 1085 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:54,559 Wendy: even though you're an adult. 1086 00:37:54,559 --> 00:37:57,559 Wendy: So. And she was probably so. 1087 00:37:57,880 --> 00:37:58,920 Siren: So that's kind of your 1088 00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:00,199 Siren: association with it a little 1089 00:38:00,199 --> 00:38:00,800 Siren: bit. 1090 00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:02,559 Wendy: And I have I have friends that 1091 00:38:02,559 --> 00:38:04,380 Wendy: are poly and I've, you know, I 1092 00:38:04,380 --> 00:38:05,880 Wendy: see them how they live their 1093 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:06,440 Wendy: lifestyle. 1094 00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:07,360 Wendy: And it takes a lot of 1095 00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:09,360 Wendy: communication, a lot of 1096 00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:10,320 Wendy: communication. 1097 00:38:10,519 --> 00:38:12,360 Siren: Have you seen their calendars? 1098 00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:14,400 Siren: Have you seen the calendars? 1099 00:38:14,199 --> 00:38:15,440 Siren: Oh my God. 1100 00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:16,159 Wendy: Full. It's full. 1101 00:38:16,159 --> 00:38:18,239 Wendy: I have one where it's like double Dutch. 1102 00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:19,599 Wendy: You gotta get in where you fit in. 1103 00:38:19,599 --> 00:38:21,239 Wendy: And they're both of them are fucking. 1104 00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:22,360 Wendy: They got the rope. 1105 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,079 Wendy: And you gotta get in that bitch where you can fit in to get, 1106 00:38:25,079 --> 00:38:26,579 Wendy: like a coffee date. 1107 00:38:26,579 --> 00:38:28,219 Wendy: Like literally in the last ten 1108 00:38:28,219 --> 00:38:29,780 Wendy: years, I've gotten maybe three 1109 00:38:29,780 --> 00:38:30,699 Wendy: coffee dates. 1110 00:38:30,699 --> 00:38:32,940 Wendy: Like, that's how fucking busy they are. 1111 00:38:32,940 --> 00:38:36,619 Siren: How do people I. I am not a calendar girly. 1112 00:38:36,619 --> 00:38:38,179 Siren: I can't like. 1113 00:38:38,179 --> 00:38:46,380 Siren: No, I, I have a what some might consider a calendar but it's, 1114 00:38:46,380 --> 00:38:47,099 Siren: it's a tough one. 1115 00:38:47,099 --> 00:38:48,500 Siren: It's mostly in my brain. 1116 00:38:48,699 --> 00:38:49,860 Siren: Um, same. 1117 00:38:53,019 --> 00:38:55,440 Siren: Honestly, bravo on us for like, 1118 00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:57,500 Siren: showing up here every other 1119 00:38:57,500 --> 00:38:57,980 Siren: week. 1120 00:38:57,980 --> 00:38:59,500 Siren: We did it for two weeks so far. 1121 00:38:59,500 --> 00:39:01,300 Siren: High five, high five us. 1122 00:39:01,300 --> 00:39:02,619 Siren: Oh, other other side. 1123 00:39:02,619 --> 00:39:02,860 Siren: This. 1124 00:39:02,860 --> 00:39:03,460 Siren: This way. 1125 00:39:03,699 --> 00:39:04,619 Siren: This side right here. 1126 00:39:04,619 --> 00:39:05,219 Siren: Yeah. 1127 00:39:05,179 --> 00:39:05,980 Siren: Gotcha. 1128 00:39:05,820 --> 00:39:06,980 Siren: Yeah. Right there. 1129 00:39:08,460 --> 00:39:10,699 Wendy: We're so cool. 1130 00:39:10,699 --> 00:39:11,460 Wendy: Look at this. 1131 00:39:11,739 --> 00:39:15,460 Siren: We we are the the literal coolest I think. 1132 00:39:15,460 --> 00:39:18,420 Siren: So the reason I ask about that is because one of my, one of the 1133 00:39:18,420 --> 00:39:22,500 Siren: people I dated before I met my current girlfriend is Polly. 1134 00:39:22,500 --> 00:39:28,489 Siren: And to not not be like, hey, I'm married and I'm not satisfied. 1135 00:39:28,489 --> 00:39:31,130 Siren: And we're trying to see other people also type. 1136 00:39:31,130 --> 00:39:31,449 Siren: Holly. 1137 00:39:31,449 --> 00:39:35,170 Siren: It was a hey, I've been poly the entire time. 1138 00:39:35,170 --> 00:39:36,250 Siren: I've been in a relationship with 1139 00:39:36,250 --> 00:39:38,690 Siren: my wife of twelve years, and our 1140 00:39:38,690 --> 00:39:41,429 Siren: children who are eight and four, 1141 00:39:41,429 --> 00:39:43,469 Siren: and I'm about getting ready to 1142 00:39:43,469 --> 00:39:45,369 Siren: get married to my second partner 1143 00:39:45,369 --> 00:39:46,329 Siren: type deal. 1144 00:39:46,329 --> 00:39:50,769 Siren: And I went to their they had a birthday party and I was invited 1145 00:39:50,769 --> 00:39:51,809 Siren: to come to a birthday party. 1146 00:39:51,809 --> 00:39:52,929 Siren: We had been on like three dates, 1147 00:39:52,929 --> 00:39:54,809 Siren: which was crazy to come to their 1148 00:39:54,809 --> 00:39:57,010 Siren: birthday party after going on 1149 00:39:57,010 --> 00:39:57,570 Siren: three dates. 1150 00:39:57,570 --> 00:40:04,289 Siren: But like not only was her current like her, her like 1151 00:40:04,289 --> 00:40:10,130 Siren: current partner at the time, plus her other partner plus 1152 00:40:10,130 --> 00:40:14,090 Siren: multiple of her exes because like, everybody has dated 1153 00:40:14,090 --> 00:40:15,929 Siren: everybody in this whole circle. 1154 00:40:15,929 --> 00:40:22,510 Siren: And I'll tell you what, I have not felt more Love and lack of 1155 00:40:22,510 --> 00:40:27,429 Siren: drama in a space of human beings that have all, like, seen each 1156 00:40:27,429 --> 00:40:31,550 Siren: other naked than I have in this space, it was pretty wild. 1157 00:40:31,630 --> 00:40:33,630 Wendy: I mean, I'm telling you, you have to be really emotionally 1158 00:40:33,630 --> 00:40:36,230 Wendy: intelligent to be poly. 1159 00:40:36,309 --> 00:40:37,070 Siren: Yeah. 1160 00:40:36,909 --> 00:40:39,949 Wendy: For sure. So, like, I, I would 1161 00:40:39,949 --> 00:40:41,510 Wendy: hope that that space would be 1162 00:40:41,510 --> 00:40:42,429 Wendy: like that. 1163 00:40:42,429 --> 00:40:42,670 Wendy: Yeah. 1164 00:40:42,670 --> 00:40:43,590 Wendy: Because like. 1165 00:40:44,590 --> 00:40:45,510 Siren: It was impressive. 1166 00:40:45,510 --> 00:40:46,869 Siren: I had just never. 1167 00:40:46,829 --> 00:40:49,269 Wendy: To them for being professional Poly's. 1168 00:40:49,309 --> 00:40:49,829 Siren: Yeah. 1169 00:40:50,150 --> 00:40:54,469 Wendy: Properly properly up in this bitch. 1170 00:40:54,909 --> 00:40:56,349 Siren: Um, but yeah. 1171 00:40:56,349 --> 00:40:58,750 Siren: So like, I gotta imagine breakups in a scenario like that 1172 00:40:58,750 --> 00:41:00,190 Siren: are a little bit different. 1173 00:41:00,190 --> 00:41:01,829 Siren: Uh, but. 1174 00:41:04,269 --> 00:41:06,550 Siren: Yeah, I don't know. 1175 00:41:06,550 --> 00:41:06,750 Siren: It's. 1176 00:41:06,750 --> 00:41:07,670 Siren: I feel like you can get caught 1177 00:41:07,670 --> 00:41:09,389 Siren: in that cycle, that loop, and I, 1178 00:41:09,389 --> 00:41:10,550 Siren: I like. 1179 00:41:13,150 --> 00:41:14,789 Siren: I feel like this strikes a little bit hard. 1180 00:41:14,789 --> 00:41:16,429 Siren: The strikes a little bit close to home. 1181 00:41:16,429 --> 00:41:18,309 Siren: Wendy, for what you're going through right now. 1182 00:41:19,170 --> 00:41:21,250 Wendy: Yeah. Um, I mean. 1183 00:41:21,090 --> 00:41:21,530 Siren: I don't. 1184 00:41:21,329 --> 00:41:23,929 Siren: Want to say caught in a loop, but, like, you're you're coming 1185 00:41:23,929 --> 00:41:25,929 Siren: in a circle right now. 1186 00:41:25,929 --> 00:41:27,130 Siren: Coming in a circle? 1187 00:41:27,170 --> 00:41:28,329 Wendy: Yeah. We come in. 1188 00:41:28,530 --> 00:41:29,889 Siren: We come strictly. 1189 00:41:29,690 --> 00:41:30,050 Siren: In. 1190 00:41:29,849 --> 00:41:30,690 Siren: Circles. 1191 00:41:31,530 --> 00:41:35,010 Wendy: I think that, you know, with my situation, it's like so 1192 00:41:35,010 --> 00:41:38,730 Wendy: different because we we've known each other for twelve years and 1193 00:41:38,730 --> 00:41:43,929 Wendy: then so quickly got into a relationship with them after my 1194 00:41:43,929 --> 00:41:51,010 Wendy: first ex-wife was just, just not a great human and just chance 1195 00:41:51,010 --> 00:41:54,210 Wendy: after chance or meanwhile was trying to evolve and grow. 1196 00:41:54,210 --> 00:41:57,889 Wendy: And, you know, there's this person that's like a breath of 1197 00:41:57,889 --> 00:42:02,889 Wendy: fresh air in any space because we are friends, like always. 1198 00:42:02,889 --> 00:42:07,050 Wendy: Any space I was in, I'm gonna see where the fuck she's at, and 1199 00:42:07,050 --> 00:42:11,329 Wendy: I'm going to be drawn to her and literally every space. 1200 00:42:11,329 --> 00:42:12,409 Wendy: And she was the same way. 1201 00:42:12,409 --> 00:42:15,409 Wendy: She was just more low key with it, you know what I mean? 1202 00:42:15,409 --> 00:42:18,719 Wendy: And and like, there wasn't any disrespect during the marriage 1203 00:42:18,719 --> 00:42:20,599 Wendy: and during her marriage or anything like that. 1204 00:42:20,599 --> 00:42:24,159 Wendy: It was just friends shot my shot. 1205 00:42:24,159 --> 00:42:25,239 Wendy: They weren't ready. 1206 00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:30,639 Wendy: They were getting divorced after a long relationship, and my 1207 00:42:30,639 --> 00:42:34,239 Wendy: first ex-wife and I back and forth, and then we just got 1208 00:42:34,239 --> 00:42:37,159 Wendy: together really quickly after the last time when I ended it 1209 00:42:37,159 --> 00:42:41,920 Wendy: and I was like, I've been healing from her for years. 1210 00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:48,260 Wendy: No, I thought I was healing, but I hadn't really I hadn't really 1211 00:42:48,260 --> 00:42:52,440 Wendy: began to know what actual healing looked like. 1212 00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:56,519 Wendy: And in training yourself, your mind to think differently and 1213 00:42:56,519 --> 00:43:00,559 Wendy: react differently from like, toxic responses and trauma 1214 00:43:00,559 --> 00:43:05,159 Wendy: responses and like just being insecure, having trust issues 1215 00:43:05,159 --> 00:43:08,639 Wendy: with someone that was just constantly cheating on you. 1216 00:43:08,639 --> 00:43:14,420 Wendy: It it was a it was an issue in the relationship and I wasn't 1217 00:43:14,420 --> 00:43:18,000 Wendy: meaning to be, like, toxic or untrusting, but it's just like, 1218 00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,940 Wendy: how do you not be that after being in a thirteen year 1219 00:43:20,940 --> 00:43:25,099 Wendy: relationship where literally someone just like, was the 1220 00:43:25,099 --> 00:43:26,860 Wendy: dirtiest fucking person. 1221 00:43:26,860 --> 00:43:28,900 Wendy: Like literally cheated with 1222 00:43:28,900 --> 00:43:30,260 Wendy: somebody that we worked with at 1223 00:43:30,260 --> 00:43:31,860 Wendy: the, at our, our place of 1224 00:43:31,860 --> 00:43:33,219 Wendy: employment. 1225 00:43:33,219 --> 00:43:34,539 Wendy: And then we split up and I had 1226 00:43:34,539 --> 00:43:35,940 Wendy: to move out of my house that I 1227 00:43:35,940 --> 00:43:36,500 Wendy: lived in. 1228 00:43:36,500 --> 00:43:37,860 Wendy: So her and her kids could move in. 1229 00:43:37,860 --> 00:43:40,420 Wendy: And then I still work there after that because I'd been 1230 00:43:40,420 --> 00:43:41,980 Wendy: working there for six years. 1231 00:43:42,179 --> 00:43:42,820 Siren: Yeah. 1232 00:43:42,820 --> 00:43:44,139 Wendy: So still had to see them. 1233 00:43:44,139 --> 00:43:49,099 Wendy: It was there was a lot of trauma from it, but we both had trauma. 1234 00:43:49,099 --> 00:43:51,860 Wendy: We've hurt each other with the trauma. 1235 00:43:51,860 --> 00:43:53,900 Wendy: I'm still doing therapy. 1236 00:43:53,900 --> 00:43:55,380 Wendy: She's starting therapy. 1237 00:43:55,380 --> 00:43:58,300 Wendy: And so now it feels it feels different. 1238 00:43:58,300 --> 00:43:59,780 Wendy: It feels really. 1239 00:44:00,300 --> 00:44:01,579 Siren: It's it's kind of like that. 1240 00:44:01,380 --> 00:44:07,139 Siren: Question of like when does the like you're you're always 1241 00:44:07,139 --> 00:44:07,980 Siren: becoming a new person. 1242 00:44:07,980 --> 00:44:09,659 Siren: You're always growing, you're always changing. 1243 00:44:09,659 --> 00:44:12,690 Siren: And at what point of that growth and change. 1244 00:44:12,690 --> 00:44:16,650 Siren: Are you a new enough, new enough person? 1245 00:44:16,650 --> 00:44:19,170 Siren: Doesn't feel right, but like are you? 1246 00:44:21,449 --> 00:44:22,789 Siren: Are your equations going to 1247 00:44:22,789 --> 00:44:24,190 Siren: equal themselves out because 1248 00:44:24,190 --> 00:44:24,809 Siren: like. 1249 00:44:24,969 --> 00:44:25,610 Siren: Yeah. 1250 00:44:26,809 --> 00:44:27,769 Siren: You're both changing. 1251 00:44:27,769 --> 00:44:30,250 Siren: It's not like you're changing the person they used to want. 1252 00:44:30,570 --> 00:44:30,969 Siren: Yeah. 1253 00:44:30,769 --> 00:44:34,210 Siren: It's not like they changed the person that you used to want. 1254 00:44:34,530 --> 00:44:34,889 Siren: Yeah. 1255 00:44:34,730 --> 00:44:36,489 Siren: Because you don't want the same thing anymore. 1256 00:44:36,889 --> 00:44:37,570 Siren: Mhm. 1257 00:44:37,769 --> 00:44:41,010 Wendy: The core of the person is still very much the same. 1258 00:44:42,289 --> 00:44:51,829 Wendy: And that's what is attractive to me is that the core and you know 1259 00:44:51,829 --> 00:44:55,489 Wendy: we're, there's times where we're not all the best versions of 1260 00:44:55,489 --> 00:44:58,849 Wendy: ourselves because we've been through shit, you know. 1261 00:44:58,849 --> 00:45:03,809 Wendy: But as long as you're not you're like, look, sometimes we 1262 00:45:03,809 --> 00:45:06,530 Wendy: unintentionally do things because we're unaware of them. 1263 00:45:06,530 --> 00:45:11,869 Wendy: And then it if it's a pattern in your in your actively not trying 1264 00:45:11,869 --> 00:45:14,530 Wendy: to be better or do better, then that's just really who you are 1265 00:45:14,530 --> 00:45:15,710 Wendy: as a person. 1266 00:45:15,710 --> 00:45:18,389 Wendy: But if you're constantly saying like, hey, I want to change, I 1267 00:45:18,389 --> 00:45:21,949 Wendy: want to grow, I want to make this right and different. 1268 00:45:21,949 --> 00:45:23,349 Wendy: What can I do to better that? 1269 00:45:23,349 --> 00:45:25,789 Wendy: What can I do to help or hold space for you? 1270 00:45:25,789 --> 00:45:27,630 Wendy: I think that's where it separates the two. 1271 00:45:27,630 --> 00:45:28,309 Wendy: You know. 1272 00:45:31,110 --> 00:45:32,150 Wendy: But it's hard. 1273 00:45:32,150 --> 00:45:34,510 Wendy: It's hard being in a lesbian relationship. 1274 00:45:34,789 --> 00:45:35,469 Siren: It is. 1275 00:45:35,469 --> 00:45:37,389 Siren: It's hard getting older and being. 1276 00:45:37,190 --> 00:45:38,230 Siren: In relationships. 1277 00:45:38,030 --> 00:45:38,550 Siren: Too. 1278 00:45:38,869 --> 00:45:40,150 Wendy: I'm such a lover. 1279 00:45:40,150 --> 00:45:41,550 Wendy: I'm such a lover girl. 1280 00:45:41,550 --> 00:45:44,510 Wendy: And I give people so much grace. 1281 00:45:44,510 --> 00:45:46,429 Wendy: More than I should sometimes. 1282 00:45:46,429 --> 00:45:47,670 Wendy: And I know that. 1283 00:45:47,670 --> 00:45:48,670 Wendy: Yeah. 1284 00:45:48,670 --> 00:45:51,030 Wendy: You have to get to the point where you love yourself. 1285 00:45:51,030 --> 00:45:51,630 Siren: Yeah. 1286 00:45:52,550 --> 00:45:54,230 Wendy: More than anybody else could love you. 1287 00:45:54,230 --> 00:45:55,389 Wendy: Because then you set those 1288 00:45:55,389 --> 00:45:58,269 Wendy: boundaries, and that shit's 1289 00:45:58,269 --> 00:45:58,949 Wendy: hard. 1290 00:45:58,789 --> 00:46:01,550 Siren: You don't need anybody else to complete us. 1291 00:46:01,869 --> 00:46:02,710 Siren: No. 1292 00:46:02,829 --> 00:46:05,070 Wendy: No. And for a long time, I thought I did. 1293 00:46:05,070 --> 00:46:06,940 Wendy: Like, I had my person. 1294 00:46:06,940 --> 00:46:09,059 Wendy: if I like that made me. 1295 00:46:09,059 --> 00:46:12,340 Wendy: I was like, oh, you know, if I just have this person, then I 1296 00:46:12,340 --> 00:46:13,860 Wendy: could feel loved and whole. 1297 00:46:13,860 --> 00:46:19,619 Wendy: But I know wholeheartedly that I'm a great fucking person. 1298 00:46:19,619 --> 00:46:20,579 Wendy: I'm a good person. 1299 00:46:20,579 --> 00:46:24,579 Wendy: I'm solid, I show up, I try to be the best version of myself I 1300 00:46:24,579 --> 00:46:28,059 Wendy: can be every day, and I can take care of my fucking self. 1301 00:46:28,059 --> 00:46:29,739 Wendy: And I don't need anyone. 1302 00:46:29,739 --> 00:46:30,619 Wendy: It's it's a want. 1303 00:46:30,619 --> 00:46:31,820 Wendy: Not a not a need. 1304 00:46:32,380 --> 00:46:33,139 Siren: Yeah, exactly. 1305 00:46:33,139 --> 00:46:34,460 Siren: And if you rebuild a friendship, 1306 00:46:34,460 --> 00:46:36,539 Siren: set boundaries, you know, no 1307 00:46:36,539 --> 00:46:38,420 Siren: late night flirty texts, no 1308 00:46:38,420 --> 00:46:40,179 Siren: accidental cuddles. 1309 00:46:42,900 --> 00:46:45,619 Wendy: I mean, yeah, because you'll just end up right back up in the 1310 00:46:45,619 --> 00:46:48,340 Wendy: fucking gay loop of what are we? 1311 00:46:48,340 --> 00:46:48,980 Wendy: What are we? 1312 00:46:48,980 --> 00:46:49,900 Wendy: Where are we going? 1313 00:46:49,900 --> 00:46:51,460 Wendy: What are we, what are we doing? 1314 00:46:51,460 --> 00:46:52,219 Wendy: You know. 1315 00:46:52,300 --> 00:46:54,340 Siren: And I think that's a whole other 1316 00:46:54,340 --> 00:46:56,619 Siren: episode for us to get into next 1317 00:46:56,619 --> 00:46:57,219 Siren: time. 1318 00:46:57,340 --> 00:46:58,460 Wendy: Yes, yes. 1319 00:46:58,460 --> 00:47:01,099 Wendy: Next time, next time. 1320 00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:09,159 Siren: Awesome. That was. 1321 00:47:09,159 --> 00:47:11,679 Siren: That was the third course, everybody. 1322 00:47:11,679 --> 00:47:12,760 Siren: Well done. 1323 00:47:13,559 --> 00:47:16,960 Wendy: Y'all want a little dessert? 1324 00:47:17,199 --> 00:47:20,400 Siren: Okay, so the last lick this is for the chat. 1325 00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:21,880 Siren: This is for the live chat. 1326 00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:23,960 Siren: The people who showed up on TikTok here. 1327 00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:26,360 Siren: Guys what's up, what's up, what's up? 1328 00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:27,800 Wendy: An ace baby. 1329 00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:28,360 Siren: Thank you. 1330 00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:30,119 Siren: Yes. How is the soup? 1331 00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:31,039 Siren: The soup was delicious. 1332 00:47:31,039 --> 00:47:31,840 Siren: But that's not. 1333 00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:33,880 Siren: That's not the Q&A we're talking about. 1334 00:47:33,719 --> 00:47:35,320 Wendy: Oh, we're talking about. 1335 00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:39,480 Wendy: No, it's time for the last lick your questions, your 1336 00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:42,960 Wendy: confessions, and maybe your unhinged hot takes. 1337 00:47:43,039 --> 00:47:44,960 Siren: Because if there's one thing we 1338 00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:47,440 Siren: love more than queer chaos, it's 1339 00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:49,000 Siren: queer community. 1340 00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:51,880 Siren: Let's hear what y'all have to say. 1341 00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:54,599 Wendy: Do we have any questions, comments, concerns? 1342 00:47:54,599 --> 00:47:57,000 Wendy: Do we have any unhinged hot takes? 1343 00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:59,840 Wendy: Do y'all have any anything? 1344 00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:01,679 Wendy: Now's the time. 1345 00:48:01,679 --> 00:48:02,949 Wendy: What do you want to ask? 1346 00:48:02,949 --> 00:48:04,269 Wendy: But stuff. 1347 00:48:04,269 --> 00:48:06,230 Wendy: Relationship stuff. 1348 00:48:06,230 --> 00:48:08,190 Wendy: Red flags. 1349 00:48:08,190 --> 00:48:08,909 Wendy: What are they? 1350 00:48:08,909 --> 00:48:10,750 Wendy: Sirens said her prostate. 1351 00:48:10,750 --> 00:48:12,710 Wendy: So is that pre surgery? 1352 00:48:12,670 --> 00:48:13,469 Siren: No they don't. 1353 00:48:13,469 --> 00:48:14,070 Siren: My prostate. 1354 00:48:14,070 --> 00:48:15,389 Siren: I still have a prostate. 1355 00:48:15,949 --> 00:48:17,789 Wendy: They don't remove the prostate. 1356 00:48:17,909 --> 00:48:18,590 Siren: Um. 1357 00:48:19,150 --> 00:48:21,750 Wendy: How do you know who's the more dominant one. 1358 00:48:21,550 --> 00:48:22,670 Siren: From looking on? 1359 00:48:22,630 --> 00:48:25,429 Siren: Like on the outside or from within the relationship? 1360 00:48:25,429 --> 00:48:26,989 Siren: I think you talk. 1361 00:48:26,829 --> 00:48:27,269 Siren: Yeah. 1362 00:48:27,110 --> 00:48:31,150 Wendy: I mean, I mean, I think that when you're growing in sexy, you 1363 00:48:31,150 --> 00:48:33,190 Wendy: just switch it up, right? 1364 00:48:33,030 --> 00:48:35,670 Siren: I think that's probably true too, because like. 1365 00:48:35,510 --> 00:48:37,750 Wendy: But there might be one that's more dominant. 1366 00:48:37,750 --> 00:48:38,829 Wendy: It would be me. 1367 00:48:38,829 --> 00:48:39,949 Wendy: It would be me. 1368 00:48:40,829 --> 00:48:41,710 Siren: Clearly. 1369 00:48:41,550 --> 00:48:44,909 Siren: Okay. So the question here, how would I have handled it if my 1370 00:48:44,909 --> 00:48:47,429 Siren: kids were not comfortable calling me mom? 1371 00:48:48,269 --> 00:48:50,230 Wendy: Oh, that's a good question. 1372 00:48:50,030 --> 00:48:52,110 Siren: That's a great question. 1373 00:48:52,110 --> 00:48:53,269 Siren: Not super. 1374 00:48:53,070 --> 00:48:53,949 Siren: Relevant to. 1375 00:48:53,789 --> 00:48:54,750 Siren: What we were talking. 1376 00:48:54,550 --> 00:48:55,190 Siren: About. 1377 00:48:54,989 --> 00:48:56,309 Siren: But that's okay. 1378 00:48:56,309 --> 00:48:57,190 Siren: But that's okay. 1379 00:48:57,190 --> 00:48:57,829 Siren: This is from. 1380 00:48:57,829 --> 00:48:58,750 Siren: This is from someone. 1381 00:48:58,590 --> 00:48:59,349 Wendy: Curiosity. 1382 00:48:59,409 --> 00:49:00,769 Siren: Curiosity question. 1383 00:49:00,769 --> 00:49:02,730 Siren: Um, and we welcome everything. 1384 00:49:02,730 --> 00:49:07,369 Siren: Uh, I think, well, I mean, at 1385 00:49:07,369 --> 00:49:08,449 Siren: the age that they were at the 1386 00:49:08,449 --> 00:49:11,130 Siren: time, they wouldn't they were so 1387 00:49:11,130 --> 00:49:11,969 Siren: young. 1388 00:49:11,969 --> 00:49:14,190 Siren: I mean, my oldest was five, 1389 00:49:14,190 --> 00:49:15,730 Siren: like, had, like, just turned 1390 00:49:15,730 --> 00:49:17,170 Siren: five, so. 1391 00:49:19,210 --> 00:49:21,570 Siren: It really wasn't going to be an issue. 1392 00:49:21,570 --> 00:49:23,929 Siren: Um, if they were older, like if 1393 00:49:23,929 --> 00:49:25,449 Siren: I had come out now and for some 1394 00:49:25,449 --> 00:49:26,809 Siren: reason they weren't okay with 1395 00:49:26,809 --> 00:49:29,489 Siren: it, it would have hurt at the 1396 00:49:29,489 --> 00:49:30,250 Siren: time. 1397 00:49:30,610 --> 00:49:31,409 Siren: Yeah. 1398 00:49:32,010 --> 00:49:35,289 Siren: You know, and I think that's, that's really like that's like I 1399 00:49:35,289 --> 00:49:40,429 Siren: want to say it wouldn't, um, I wouldn't tell them that, like, 1400 00:49:40,429 --> 00:49:41,329 Siren: you know, they. 1401 00:49:41,130 --> 00:49:41,690 Siren: Probably. 1402 00:49:41,489 --> 00:49:43,889 Siren: Read it on my face, but, um. 1403 00:49:46,130 --> 00:49:49,170 Siren: You know, at least at first it would have hurt. 1404 00:49:49,369 --> 00:49:51,250 Wendy: Would it have changed your mind? 1405 00:49:52,090 --> 00:49:56,849 Siren: No. No. In terms of, like, coming out? 1406 00:49:56,849 --> 00:49:57,369 Siren: No. 1407 00:49:57,210 --> 00:49:57,650 Siren: Yeah. 1408 00:49:57,550 --> 00:49:58,349 Wendy: Like it would. 1409 00:49:58,349 --> 00:50:08,269 Wendy: Would it have affected your want and need to transition if they. 1410 00:50:08,269 --> 00:50:08,949 Wendy: Okay. 1411 00:50:09,349 --> 00:50:10,110 Siren: No. 1412 00:50:09,949 --> 00:50:10,550 Siren: You know, it would. 1413 00:50:10,550 --> 00:50:11,869 Siren: It would merely have changed 1414 00:50:11,869 --> 00:50:13,190 Siren: more the how I am able to 1415 00:50:13,190 --> 00:50:14,989 Siren: interact with them in public, I 1416 00:50:14,989 --> 00:50:15,510 Siren: think. 1417 00:50:15,349 --> 00:50:15,989 Siren: Yeah. 1418 00:50:16,110 --> 00:50:17,989 Siren: That's what was hard for me at first. 1419 00:50:17,989 --> 00:50:20,110 Siren: I mean, it's hard for me still like today. 1420 00:50:20,110 --> 00:50:23,230 Siren: Like getting misgendered in public isn't. 1421 00:50:23,230 --> 00:50:24,550 Siren: I'm not, like, offended. 1422 00:50:24,550 --> 00:50:28,349 Siren: It's more of a safety thing with my kids especially. 1423 00:50:28,349 --> 00:50:32,789 Siren: I'm not gonna love them any less based on what they call me. 1424 00:50:32,789 --> 00:50:36,170 Siren: Like my my daughter tonight, 1425 00:50:36,170 --> 00:50:37,670 Siren: putting her to bed wouldn't 1426 00:50:37,670 --> 00:50:37,989 Siren: stop. 1427 00:50:37,989 --> 00:50:38,789 Siren: What did she call me? 1428 00:50:38,789 --> 00:50:39,789 Siren: Gerald. 1429 00:50:40,469 --> 00:50:41,469 Squeezy: Gerald. 1430 00:50:41,269 --> 00:50:43,789 Siren: Gerald. It was Gerald is what she called me. 1431 00:50:43,789 --> 00:50:44,590 Siren: Putting her to. 1432 00:50:44,389 --> 00:50:44,909 Siren: Bed. 1433 00:50:44,909 --> 00:50:46,309 Siren: I was Gerald tonight. 1434 00:50:46,309 --> 00:50:47,510 Siren: Putting her to bed I don't like. 1435 00:50:47,510 --> 00:50:48,110 Siren: It's okay. 1436 00:50:48,110 --> 00:50:48,789 Siren: Kids are kids. 1437 00:50:48,789 --> 00:50:50,150 Siren: She's five years old. 1438 00:50:50,150 --> 00:50:50,789 Siren: Like. 1439 00:50:50,630 --> 00:50:51,389 Siren: Yeah. 1440 00:50:52,150 --> 00:50:53,349 Siren: But she named. 1441 00:50:53,349 --> 00:50:55,860 Siren: She named me Gerald tonight and whatever. 1442 00:50:55,860 --> 00:50:56,420 Siren: It doesn't. 1443 00:50:56,219 --> 00:50:56,900 Siren: Matter as. 1444 00:50:56,699 --> 00:50:58,300 Wendy: Long as Gerald's a bad bitch. 1445 00:50:58,139 --> 00:50:58,699 Siren: We don't. 1446 00:50:58,739 --> 00:51:00,619 Siren: Wait. As long as Gerald's a bad bitch. 1447 00:51:00,619 --> 00:51:02,019 Siren: No one gives a shit. 1448 00:51:02,099 --> 00:51:03,059 Siren: No. 1449 00:51:03,500 --> 00:51:06,659 Wendy: When you explore all areas of your body, it's never dirty. 1450 00:51:06,659 --> 00:51:08,900 Wendy: Well, if you need to shower, it's fucking dirty. 1451 00:51:08,900 --> 00:51:11,059 Wendy: Like, you know what I mean? 1452 00:51:11,059 --> 00:51:14,699 Wendy: For two years after suffering and was actively dating women. 1453 00:51:14,699 --> 00:51:17,340 Wendy: I mean, sometimes you could do 1454 00:51:17,340 --> 00:51:19,099 Wendy: that, but, like, that's not 1455 00:51:19,099 --> 00:51:21,300 Wendy: ideal for someone you're in a 1456 00:51:21,300 --> 00:51:22,659 Wendy: relationship with. 1457 00:51:22,659 --> 00:51:27,179 Wendy: For you to be living with your ex for two years, you know? 1458 00:51:27,019 --> 00:51:27,739 Siren: Yeah. 1459 00:51:27,659 --> 00:51:31,579 Wendy: There was another question in the chat about is there a 1460 00:51:31,579 --> 00:51:34,659 Wendy: forehead public experience? 1461 00:51:34,659 --> 00:51:42,500 Wendy: Um, I mean, I would say, yeah, I have one and I know siren has 1462 00:51:42,500 --> 00:51:46,139 Wendy: one that's like siren has a few, I have a few. 1463 00:51:46,139 --> 00:51:48,019 Wendy: So mine was uh, and I've said 1464 00:51:48,019 --> 00:51:50,460 Wendy: this before in chat to people, 1465 00:51:50,460 --> 00:51:51,940 Wendy: this is probably the one that 1466 00:51:51,940 --> 00:51:54,280 Wendy: that stands out the most for me 1467 00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:57,280 Wendy: when it comes to like a public 1468 00:51:57,280 --> 00:51:57,760 Wendy: space. 1469 00:51:57,760 --> 00:52:00,960 Wendy: I was going to a concert, um, in 1470 00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:04,159 Wendy: Indy, probably like four years 1471 00:52:04,159 --> 00:52:04,840 Wendy: ago. 1472 00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:07,960 Wendy: I was standing outside of the venue waiting for my best friend 1473 00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:13,760 Wendy: to get there, and I drunk cis white man, uh, walked up to me 1474 00:52:13,760 --> 00:52:18,360 Wendy: and said, uh, you look like a it, don't you? 1475 00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:20,400 Wendy: I should beat your ass. 1476 00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:23,840 Wendy: And I was literally just standing there existing. 1477 00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:28,320 Wendy: And thankfully, like nothing happened, his friend came and 1478 00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:29,880 Wendy: like, pulled him away from me. 1479 00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:33,519 Wendy: But that was that's something that really sticks out. 1480 00:52:33,519 --> 00:52:34,980 Wendy: I've also really been called, 1481 00:52:34,980 --> 00:52:37,940 Wendy: you know, the f word, a dyke, 1482 00:52:37,940 --> 00:52:41,960 Wendy: like, you know, just for merely 1483 00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:43,239 Wendy: existing. 1484 00:52:43,239 --> 00:52:45,159 Wendy: So, you know, those are not 1485 00:52:45,159 --> 00:52:47,579 Wendy: great experiences that I've had 1486 00:52:47,579 --> 00:52:49,599 Wendy: that you can't just merely exist 1487 00:52:49,599 --> 00:52:51,070 Wendy: in the world without someone 1488 00:52:51,070 --> 00:52:52,230 Wendy: being hateful and feeling 1489 00:52:52,230 --> 00:52:54,929 Wendy: compelled to be really shitty 1490 00:52:54,929 --> 00:52:55,829 Wendy: towards you. 1491 00:52:57,230 --> 00:52:57,909 Siren: Yeah. 1492 00:52:58,710 --> 00:53:02,269 Siren: I, um, I've told the story about 1493 00:53:02,269 --> 00:53:05,429 Siren: the people coming in from, like, 1494 00:53:05,429 --> 00:53:06,429 Siren: trying to run me over with their 1495 00:53:06,429 --> 00:53:07,590 Siren: truck before. 1496 00:53:07,590 --> 00:53:09,670 Siren: I don't want to tell that one again. 1497 00:53:09,670 --> 00:53:16,630 Siren: Um, I used to work at a coffee shop called. 1498 00:53:16,630 --> 00:53:18,110 Siren: Well, I'm not going to tell the name of it. 1499 00:53:18,110 --> 00:53:18,630 Siren: It's. 1500 00:53:18,630 --> 00:53:23,909 Siren: It's a green, which, um, coffee shop and I used to have to deal 1501 00:53:23,909 --> 00:53:27,750 Siren: with customers at the front, um, register when they came in. 1502 00:53:27,750 --> 00:53:31,349 Siren: And there was in my area, there was not many people that would 1503 00:53:31,349 --> 00:53:39,170 Siren: come in rocking political hats of a certain color, honestly, 1504 00:53:39,170 --> 00:53:43,809 Siren: like one or two people that would ever come in with with 1505 00:53:43,809 --> 00:53:44,909 Siren: hats like that. 1506 00:53:45,269 --> 00:53:45,989 Wendy: Mhm. 1507 00:53:46,150 --> 00:53:50,329 Siren: Um, and this guy come up, comes up and starts trying to make 1508 00:53:50,329 --> 00:53:54,530 Siren: small talk with me in line and like, knows this person in front 1509 00:53:54,530 --> 00:53:55,130 Siren: of line with me. 1510 00:53:55,130 --> 00:53:56,050 Siren: I don't remember the whole 1511 00:53:56,050 --> 00:53:57,989 Siren: breakdown of the story, but 1512 00:53:57,989 --> 00:54:00,409 Siren: eventually he comes up, um, 1513 00:54:00,409 --> 00:54:02,449 Siren: asking about some favorite song, 1514 00:54:02,449 --> 00:54:03,750 Siren: and he's like, oh yeah, you know 1515 00:54:03,750 --> 00:54:05,510 Siren: that song like the The Boy Named 1516 00:54:05,510 --> 00:54:05,849 Siren: Sue? 1517 00:54:05,849 --> 00:54:08,690 Siren: You know that song obviously, like, looks at me like that and 1518 00:54:08,690 --> 00:54:10,610 Siren: I'm like, excuse me? 1519 00:54:10,610 --> 00:54:14,849 Siren: And he's like, yeah, because like, you know, like like he 1520 00:54:14,849 --> 00:54:16,889 Siren: starts, like dropping me. 1521 00:54:16,889 --> 00:54:19,530 Siren: He dropping me like I'm in like the middle and the guy in the 1522 00:54:19,530 --> 00:54:21,570 Siren: megaphone, oh my gosh. 1523 00:54:21,570 --> 00:54:23,730 Siren: But I didn't even think about the guy with the megaphone. 1524 00:54:23,690 --> 00:54:24,730 Siren: Um, yeah. 1525 00:54:24,570 --> 00:54:25,889 Siren: But this is just in my job. 1526 00:54:25,889 --> 00:54:28,969 Siren: And it's just like trying to poke fun at the fact that I'm 1527 00:54:28,969 --> 00:54:31,849 Siren: trans and I'm just trying to do my job and take his order and 1528 00:54:31,849 --> 00:54:32,809 Siren: make his coffee. 1529 00:54:32,650 --> 00:54:33,289 Siren: Right. 1530 00:54:33,489 --> 00:54:35,570 Siren: And, like, get a laugh. 1531 00:54:39,289 --> 00:54:41,650 Siren: It's it's unbelievable. 1532 00:54:41,650 --> 00:54:42,449 Siren: Um. 1533 00:54:45,250 --> 00:54:47,840 Wendy: Like, got your expense like you. 1534 00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:50,559 Wendy: You think maybe it's just not harmful? 1535 00:54:50,559 --> 00:54:51,920 Wendy: Your little fucking jab. 1536 00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:56,960 Wendy: But it is because it's rooted in and like, uh, it's rooted in 1537 00:54:56,960 --> 00:55:01,559 Wendy: hate and it's rooted in, like, just fucking blatant rudeness. 1538 00:55:01,519 --> 00:55:03,880 Siren: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1539 00:55:04,800 --> 00:55:07,360 Siren: So, um, Sarah wanted to remind 1540 00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:08,920 Siren: everybody, this is a this is a 1541 00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:09,840 Siren: reminder that actually got 1542 00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:10,719 Siren: passed on to her from her 1543 00:55:10,719 --> 00:55:11,679 Siren: sister. 1544 00:55:11,679 --> 00:55:12,840 Siren: Is that when it comes to butt 1545 00:55:12,840 --> 00:55:14,679 Siren: stuff that we want to be really, 1546 00:55:14,679 --> 00:55:16,519 Siren: really careful and use 1547 00:55:16,519 --> 00:55:18,599 Siren: lubrication and plenty of 1548 00:55:18,599 --> 00:55:20,920 Siren: lubrication, because she ended 1549 00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:23,599 Siren: up with, I think there was a 1550 00:55:23,599 --> 00:55:27,980 Siren: number like seven hemorrhoids 1551 00:55:27,980 --> 00:55:31,519 Siren: after one experience without 1552 00:55:31,519 --> 00:55:32,079 Siren: lubrication. 1553 00:55:32,079 --> 00:55:33,880 Siren: So please, please chat. 1554 00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:35,280 Siren: Use lubrication. 1555 00:55:35,280 --> 00:55:36,639 Siren: It's important. 1556 00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:37,440 Wendy: I'm good. 1557 00:55:37,440 --> 00:55:40,199 Wendy: I don't want one, let alone seven. 1558 00:55:40,039 --> 00:55:40,599 Siren: Don't. 1559 00:55:40,599 --> 00:55:42,320 Siren: Well, just don't put anything in. 1560 00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:44,940 Siren: You don't have to put something inside, is what I'm telling you. 1561 00:55:44,940 --> 00:55:46,780 Siren: Anyway, we digress. 1562 00:55:46,780 --> 00:55:49,860 Siren: Okay, okay, okay. 1563 00:55:49,860 --> 00:55:51,780 Siren: Last one, last one. 1564 00:55:51,780 --> 00:55:53,699 Siren: Do you want to read the line or you want me to read the line. 1565 00:55:53,659 --> 00:55:55,380 Wendy: Before we move to wrap? 1566 00:55:55,380 --> 00:55:56,420 Wendy: Wrap up. 1567 00:55:56,260 --> 00:55:56,739 Siren: Yeah. 1568 00:55:56,579 --> 00:55:57,699 Wendy: One more question for you. 1569 00:55:57,699 --> 00:55:58,179 Wendy: Siren. 1570 00:55:58,179 --> 00:56:00,380 Wendy: What's something that left a 1571 00:56:00,380 --> 00:56:01,980 Wendy: good taste in your mouth this 1572 00:56:01,980 --> 00:56:02,659 Wendy: week? 1573 00:56:02,699 --> 00:56:04,699 Siren: A good taste in my mouth. 1574 00:56:04,539 --> 00:56:05,260 Siren: Um. 1575 00:56:06,260 --> 00:56:10,659 Siren: Honestly, I'm still tasting it right now. 1576 00:56:10,659 --> 00:56:12,460 Siren: Uh, this delicious chicken soup 1577 00:56:12,460 --> 00:56:14,579 Siren: that I made tonight, uh, for 1578 00:56:14,579 --> 00:56:14,860 Siren: dinner. 1579 00:56:14,860 --> 00:56:16,980 Siren: It was so, so, so good. 1580 00:56:16,820 --> 00:56:19,179 Wendy: Well, mine wasn't gonna be as PG friendly. 1581 00:56:19,179 --> 00:56:21,420 Wendy: It was someone's puss in my mouth. 1582 00:56:22,500 --> 00:56:24,539 Siren: That's so fair, though, too. 1583 00:56:24,659 --> 00:56:25,699 Siren: That is so. 1584 00:56:25,539 --> 00:56:27,139 Siren: Fair. That's perfect. 1585 00:56:27,139 --> 00:56:31,260 Siren: I may or may not have turned slowly to my left and looked at 1586 00:56:31,260 --> 00:56:32,699 Siren: my girlfriend over there. 1587 00:56:32,539 --> 00:56:36,260 Wendy: I seen that, yes, I did, yes I did. 1588 00:56:36,260 --> 00:56:38,219 Wendy: I sure did. 1589 00:56:38,219 --> 00:56:38,820 Wendy: All right, babe. 1590 00:56:38,820 --> 00:56:40,554 Wendy: So we covered a lot red flags, 1591 00:56:40,554 --> 00:56:43,289 Wendy: the deal breakers, but stuff and 1592 00:56:43,289 --> 00:56:44,449 Wendy: breakups that turn into 1593 00:56:44,449 --> 00:56:45,449 Wendy: friendships? 1594 00:56:45,289 --> 00:56:46,170 Siren: Yes. 1595 00:56:46,010 --> 00:56:48,730 Siren: And maybe relationships again after that. 1596 00:56:48,969 --> 00:56:50,889 Wendy: Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. 1597 00:56:51,369 --> 00:56:52,889 Wendy: Yeah yeah yeah. 1598 00:56:54,369 --> 00:56:57,969 Siren: This episode was a whole buffet of chaos and growth. 1599 00:56:57,969 --> 00:56:59,889 Siren: Um, I'm here for it for sure. 1600 00:56:59,730 --> 00:57:03,889 Wendy: All right, well, before we go, can we each drop a green flag 1601 00:57:03,889 --> 00:57:05,010 Wendy: that we look for? 1602 00:57:05,010 --> 00:57:05,530 Wendy: Siren. 1603 00:57:05,530 --> 00:57:06,170 Wendy: You go. 1604 00:57:06,170 --> 00:57:09,690 Siren: Mine, I would have to say, is emotional maturity. 1605 00:57:09,690 --> 00:57:14,210 Siren: If you can feel your feelings and be honest about them. 1606 00:57:14,210 --> 00:57:14,730 Siren: Oh, baby. 1607 00:57:14,730 --> 00:57:15,610 Siren: I'm yours. 1608 00:57:15,449 --> 00:57:17,570 Wendy: Mine would be like accountability. 1609 00:57:17,570 --> 00:57:20,170 Wendy: Like you take accountability for your actions. 1610 00:57:20,170 --> 00:57:21,170 Wendy: You apologize. 1611 00:57:21,170 --> 00:57:23,369 Wendy: That is some sexy shit. 1612 00:57:23,369 --> 00:57:24,849 Wendy: She she she she. 1613 00:57:24,849 --> 00:57:25,690 Wendy: Matter of fact. 1614 00:57:25,809 --> 00:57:26,489 Siren: Some of my. 1615 00:57:26,289 --> 00:57:26,610 Siren: Friends. 1616 00:57:26,610 --> 00:57:29,929 Siren: Don't forget to send your confessions or questions for 1617 00:57:29,929 --> 00:57:31,369 Siren: next week's episode. 1618 00:57:31,369 --> 00:57:33,809 Siren: We might read them on air here, right now. 1619 00:57:33,809 --> 00:57:36,409 Siren: Or just come hang out with us in the TikToks. 1620 00:57:36,409 --> 00:57:38,429 Siren: Come hang out with us in the the 1621 00:57:38,429 --> 00:57:41,349 Siren: TikTok live two Thursdays from 1622 00:57:41,349 --> 00:57:41,949 Siren: today. 1623 00:57:42,429 --> 00:57:44,230 Wendy: Yes, two Thursdays from today. 1624 00:57:44,230 --> 00:57:48,349 Wendy: Follow us tongues first wherever you get your podcasts. 1625 00:57:48,150 --> 00:57:49,269 Wendy: And remember. 1626 00:57:50,230 --> 00:57:56,150 Siren: If you're gonna talk shit, do it with your tongue first. 1627 00:57:57,190 --> 00:58:00,230 Wendy: La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. 1628 00:58:00,949 --> 00:58:02,269 Wendy: We love y'all. 1629 00:58:02,269 --> 00:58:03,030 Wendy: We love you. 1630 00:58:03,030 --> 00:58:03,750 Wendy: We love you. 1631 00:58:03,750 --> 00:58:04,869 Wendy: We appreciate you. 1632 00:58:04,869 --> 00:58:06,809 Wendy: Thank you so much for being here 1633 00:58:06,809 --> 00:58:08,389 Wendy: holding space for our new 1634 00:58:08,389 --> 00:58:09,349 Wendy: podcast. 1635 00:58:09,349 --> 00:58:10,510 Wendy: We Adore You. 1636 00:58:14,230 --> 00:58:16,309 Siren: You've been listening to tongue first with Sharon and Wendy 1637 00:58:16,309 --> 00:58:20,510 Siren: produces love, laughter, and probably too much caffeine. 1638 00:58:20,510 --> 00:58:22,469 Siren: Until next time, stay curious, 1639 00:58:22,469 --> 00:58:24,570 Siren: stay queer and don't forget to 1640 00:58:24,570 --> 00:58:26,070 Siren: lick responsibly. 1641 00:58:39,380 --> 00:58:42,820 Brooke: Thanks for tuning in to the first The Queer Curiosity 1642 00:58:42,820 --> 00:58:44,500 Brooke: podcast with a bite. 1643 00:58:44,500 --> 00:58:48,460 Brooke: If you laughed, learned, or even blushed a little, hit subscribe 1644 00:58:48,460 --> 00:58:51,539 Brooke: and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. 1645 00:58:51,539 --> 00:58:53,500 Brooke: Your support keeps the mics hot 1646 00:58:53,500 --> 00:58:55,139 Brooke: and the conversations even 1647 00:58:55,139 --> 00:58:55,980 Brooke: hotter. 1648 00:58:55,980 --> 00:58:59,900 Brooke: New episodes drop every week, so we'll see you soon. 1649 00:58:59,900 --> 00:59:02,300 Brooke: Until next time, stay curious, 1650 00:59:02,300 --> 00:59:04,719 Brooke: stay queer, and don't forget to 1651 00:59:04,719 --> 00:59:06,179 Brooke: lick responsibly. 1652 00:59:10,900 --> 00:59:13,099 Siren: Tongue first is written and hosted by Aubree Jane Jones and 1653 00:59:13,099 --> 00:59:15,780 Siren: Wendy Reeves, produced and edited by Aubree Jane Jones. 1654 00:59:15,780 --> 00:59:16,980 Siren: Recorded live with our TikTok 1655 00:59:16,980 --> 00:59:18,099 Siren: communities where chaos and 1656 00:59:18,099 --> 00:59:19,820 Siren: curiosity collide. 1657 00:59:19,820 --> 00:59:21,980 Siren: Special thanks to our TikTok moderators for keeping things 1658 00:59:21,980 --> 00:59:24,219 Siren: running smoothly, and to Brookdale for lending her voice 1659 00:59:24,219 --> 00:59:25,659 Siren: to our intro and outro.