Siren: Welcome to Tongue First, the podcast that asks and answers
Siren: the questions people have clearly been asking.
Siren: Hosted by Syron and Wendy two sapphic, creators with a
Siren: chemistry hotter than a pride parade in July, each episode
Siren: they tackle taboo topics.
Siren: Laugh through their chaos and remind you that curiosity is
Siren: sexy and consent is hotter.
Wendy: I know.
Wendy: That's right baby.
Wendy: No, it's a full fucking sentence.
Wendy: What's up?
Wendy: Queer cuties and chaotic hotties.
Wendy: Welcome back to tongues first, where we curse, kiss and serve
Wendy: fucking chaotic fucking hotness on a regular degular.
Wendy: Um, you know, and chaotic cunt.
Wendy: Whatever.
Wendy: I'm Wendy.
Wendy: My pronouns are she her and bad bitch.
Wendy: So hello.
Siren: And I'm your local menace and emotional support.
Siren: Bottom siren.
Siren: My pronouns are she her.
Wendy: Ooh. Emotional support bottom.
Siren: Listen, I didn't write the scripts.
Siren: I just edited it.
Wendy: And y'all, it is October
Wendy: sixteenth, twenty twenty five,
Wendy: and tonight's episode is stacked
Wendy: like a pair of double
Wendy: motherfucking D's.
Wendy: Red flags.
Wendy: Deal breakers.
Wendy: But stuff and friendship after queer breakups.
Wendy: Basically, it's a therapy
Wendy: session and a sex ed class and a
Wendy: chaotic brunch all rolled up
Wendy: into one.
Siren: So grab your iced coffee, your
Siren: Jennifer Coolidge, or whatever
Siren: else you need to get through
Siren: this chaos and let's get into
Siren: it.
Siren: But before we do a few quick things for our listeners.
Wendy: While many of you are tuning in later, we've got people watching
Wendy: live on TikTok right Meow.
Siren: So you can join the Chaos live
Siren: to every other Thursday at nine
Siren: thirty pm EST on our TikTok
Siren: channels.
Wendy: Because we are recording live.
Wendy: You might hear us use some
Wendy: creative code words to say
Wendy: within TikTok's community
Wendy: guidelines because they don't
Wendy: fuck around.
Wendy: We're professionals.
Wendy: Kind of.
Siren: We are super professional at this.
Siren: We've definitely recorded an entire episode of a podcast.
Siren: One one whole episode.
Wendy: one one whole episode.
Wendy: We're fucking professional.
Siren: And if you guys were here for the first episode, like,
Siren: seriously, the the less there's so much less chaos already.
Siren: It feels it feels really good.
Siren: I'm gonna be honest.
Siren: But it also, it does feel a little bit dangerous that we
Siren: might be shifting into, like, I don't know, we do, we do.
Siren: We still need to keep that chaotic energy somehow.
Wendy: We will.
Wendy: We?
Wendy: I'm sure we will.
Siren: All right.
Siren: So if we have a lot lined up here.
Siren: And last episode lasted two hours.
Siren: And we're trying to not let the
Siren: episode last for two hours this
Siren: time.
Siren: Instead, we are going to dive
Siren: right into it, uh, right into
Siren: this chaos with our first palate
Siren: cleanser.
Wendy: Okay, a palate cleanser.
Siren: Yeah. Tongue first.
Siren: Right into this palate cleanser.
Siren: A little something to set the mood.
Siren: Uh, a little something to set the mood in.
Siren: Appetizing and unexpected question to give everyone a
Siren: taste of what's to come.
Wendy: Oh, I see.
Wendy: So you got a little spicy starter to warm us up?
Siren: Yes, and I am.
Siren: Honestly, I'm not sure you're ready for this one, Wendy.
Siren: So I threw this one at you briefly in one of your lives a
Siren: while back now.
Siren: Oh, and.
Siren: Okay, you glossed over it in a
Siren: moment and then and then went
Siren: past it.
Siren: And I'm not sure if you fully embraced what it could be.
Siren: Now I I'm going to set the stage a little bit.
Siren: We got to build up to this question.
Wendy: Okay. Okay.
Siren: So you just so our listeners know and our chat here on
Siren: TikTok, no, you were not born with dangly bits.
Siren: However, you are a purveyor of
Siren: aftermarket dangly bits that you
Siren: use.
Wendy: Yeah I am.
Siren: Yeah. Um.
Wendy: We are a fan.
Siren: You're a fan.
Siren: How many how many of these, uh,
Siren: scrappy dappy dudes do you think
Siren: you have purchased over your
Siren: lifetime?
Siren: No judgment on this number at all.
Wendy: So I am very much a monogamous girly.
Wendy: I have not had a bunch of relationships.
Wendy: Okay.
Wendy: Um, so I would say, hold on, let me let me do some calculations
Wendy: in my queer brain here about the scrappy dappy dudes.
Wendy: I'd say eight.
Siren: eight.
Siren: Okay, okay.
Siren: So for many of us, eight is a is
Siren: a much larger number than the
Siren: number that we have procured in
Siren: our lifetime.
Siren: It could be a much smaller
Siren: number for, for, uh, than some
Siren: other people might be thinking,
Siren: um, the chat right now, the chat
Siren: right now.
Siren: Someone said thirty seven.
Siren: I don't believe you.
Siren: Yeah, that's so many.
Siren: That's so many.
Siren: Um.
Wendy: seven pop off Queen or king?
Siren: Okay, okay.
Siren: So that that's just a that's just the baseline question.
Wendy: Okay, okay.
Siren: I know you've had strong relationships.
Siren: You're talking about
Siren: relationships in in our podcast
Siren: today, if someone asked you as
Siren: their dying wish to make a
Siren: strappy, I make make a phallic
Siren: toy out of their ashes, is it is
Siren: it a wish you think you'd carry
Siren: out?
Wendy: Fuck yeah.
Siren: Yeah. And if.
Siren: Okay. So yes the yes on board with this.
Siren: We like this.
Siren: Would you like what would you would you use it?
Wendy: Oh, yeah.
Wendy: I'd fuck all the hoes with it.
Wendy: We can just fuck people together because, you know, I'll
Wendy: eventually move on.
Siren: Okay. Final final follow up question.
Siren: Would that be in, like, queer legal circles?
Siren: Would that be considered a threesome?
Wendy: This is like an ex I'm doing this for.
Wendy: Right?
Wendy: Or someone I was with.
Wendy: Not like a friend or anything.
Siren: I don't know, I didn't specify.
Siren: You just jumped all in.
Siren: I was waiting for a specificity,
Siren: but you were like, I don't even
Siren: care.
Siren: It could be someone else's ashes.
Wendy: No, I full send, I. I'd fuck everybody with it.
Wendy: Whoever was consensually on board, we would just be.
Wendy: We'd be.
Wendy: We'd be fucking and they'd be sucking up and.
Siren: Oh my God.
Wendy: Yeah.
Wendy: That'd be with us.
Siren: Okay, okay.
Siren: That was our.
Siren: That was our first palate cleanser.
Siren: You get to do the next one.
Siren: Deal.
Wendy: Oh, sure.
Wendy: Okay. Yeah. Deal.
Wendy: Deal. Uh, on the next podcast.
Wendy: There's a palate cleanser that I gotta come up with.
Siren: Yeah. So the next podcast, you'll be in charge of our mini
Siren: segment, the Palate Cleanser, which is our first mini segment.
Wendy: Let's go.
Siren: I was, like, trying to figure out how to, like, break this
Siren: into a more cohesive thing.
Siren: And I was thinking, like, tongues first, like, what is
Siren: this first, like mini segment because you had this up break
Siren: down into segments.
Siren: I was like, what is what can the first mini segment be?
Siren: Appetizer didn't feel right, but like ChatGPT suggested foreplay.
Siren: And I was like, that's a little too direct.
Siren: ChatGPT like, I'm you're you're a little too spicy.
Siren: Can we put pump the brakes, baby?
Siren: Like, oh my God, calm down.
Wendy: Buy us dinner.
Wendy: first, right?
Wendy: Jeez.
Wendy: What?
Wendy: Muffin.
Wendy: Jeez.
Siren: But it did jog me into thinking
Siren: of the palate cleanser, and
Siren: that's.
Siren: That's what the name was here.
Siren: But then I was like, how can we break the recipe down?
Siren: So I hope you liked, like, the first course.
Siren: Seneca Of course.
Siren: Third course.
Siren: And then the final segment.
Siren: Did you see what it was called?
Wendy: Yeah, yeah.
Siren: The last segment, the last mini segment is the is the last lick.
Wendy: But you're making a good one.
Siren: So that's when we have our Q&A at the end.
Siren: So the first palate cleanser.
Wendy: All right.
Wendy: So the first course we're going
Wendy: to be talking about here is red
Wendy: flags versus deal breakers
Wendy: y'all.
Wendy: And we'll start with red flags.
Wendy: Those little warnings that we
Wendy: all fucking get that we ignore
Wendy: because we think it's a fucking
Wendy: pink flag.
Wendy: It's not pink.
Wendy: It's red.
Wendy: They got great hair.
Wendy: They have nice tits.
Wendy: They know your birth chart like they're fucking in your
Wendy: astrological sign realm.
Wendy: Whatever.
Wendy: Come on.
Siren: So. So we're talking like, red flags being like they call all
Siren: their exes crazy, but the deal breaker being they still
Siren: currently live with one.
Wendy: We've seen this one so many times, I.
Siren: Well, what was funny is when I, when I was writing this up and
Siren: when I was looking over this, uh, squeezy, my girlfriend is
Siren: here with me and she was like, oh my God.
Siren: Well, thankfully you didn't meet me how long ago?
Squeezy: Oh, like four years ago, three, four years ago.
Siren: Four years ago.
Siren: Um, because sometimes that shit happens, right?
Siren: Have you ever had that happen where you've had a falling out
Siren: with someone like mid relationship, and you just have
Siren: to be roommates?
Wendy: Yes. My ex was my first wife.
Wendy: Both wives actually.
Wendy: Yes.
Wendy: So yeah.
Wendy: Yeah.
Siren: Yeah I mean I was the same deal.
Wendy: Stuck in a fucking lease.
Wendy: You can't.
Wendy: It's expensive to move like you got dogs together.
Wendy: Pets.
Wendy: Yeah, right.
Wendy: Yeah.
Wendy: Right.
Wendy: Or red flags.
Wendy: You know, the I don't know Fucking lesbians, am I right?
Wendy: Right.
Siren: Especially, like late in life.
Siren: Lesbians.
Siren: Like, am I right?
Siren: Like not you, but, like, there's a lot of them.
Wendy: Yeah, we're.
Wendy: In a rush.
Wendy: I'm almost forty five.
Wendy: We're in a fucking rush.
Wendy: Okay, okay, okay.
Wendy: Let's focus.
Wendy: It's okay.
Siren: Um, so, like, that's from that
Siren: perspective, like, as being the
Siren: one that would be a deal breaker
Siren: on.
Siren: But like, have you have you ever been that person like, been like
Siren: trying to convince someone you're not a deal breaker, but
Siren: you still live with your ex?
Wendy: No, because I, I don't I think
Wendy: it's not good to like, be in a
Wendy: situation where you're, you're
Wendy: broke up and you, like, try to
Wendy: quickly move into another
Wendy: relationship.
Wendy: I'm not one of those people.
Wendy: I'm very much like, let's get my heel on and be I'm I'm the sad
Wendy: baby about it because I'm I'm usually not the one that breaks
Wendy: up with people.
Wendy: I'm I'm like, let's work it out seventeen million times.
Wendy: Yeah.
Wendy: Even though you don't deserve to work it out, I'm like, let's
Wendy: work it out.
Wendy: I love you.
Wendy: We don't spend so much time in this bitch.
Wendy: And we're married.
Siren: The hopeless romantic.
Wendy: Yeah.
Siren: The one that has, like, four tattoos of their ex's name.
Siren: But they're not like you're just
Siren: trying to save the tattoos, you
Siren: know?
Wendy: No, no, no. We have we have one of the first one covered.
Wendy: We have the second one right here.
Wendy: It's not covered.
Siren: Um, okay.
Siren: Red flag has a tattoo of their ex's name.
Siren: Deal breaker has a tattoo of their ex's face.
Wendy: Um.
Wendy: Ex's face is red.
Wendy: No. Because we're.
Wendy: I'm going to look at that every time.
Wendy: We're, like, fucking and sucking.
Wendy: Uh, maybe your ex is hotter than you.
Wendy: I don't want to see that shit.
Wendy: No.
Wendy: Now.
Wendy: Why?
Wendy: That's a deal breaker.
Siren: So this is me and my ex.
Siren: Me and my ex.
Siren: The mother.
Siren: The mother of my children.
Wendy: Oh, shit.
Siren: Yes.
Wendy: And did she tattoo that on you?
Wendy: Because I know she's a tattoo.
Siren: No, she didn't tattoo it on me.
Wendy: Okay.
Siren: No, she didn't tattoo that on me.
Siren: No, I actually I did the website
Siren: for, uh, one of her friend's new
Siren: shops, and he traded me, like,
Siren: doing the website for the
Siren: tattoo.
Siren: But, yeah.
Wendy: Was it a surprise?
Siren: Yes, it was a surprise.
Siren: It was like.
Siren: It was.
Siren: I had wanted a tattoo from this guy.
Siren: I wanted, like, a stylized portrait.
Siren: And my thing with, like, tattoos have more been.
Siren: What are the, like, the things
Siren: that will always be there in my
Siren: life.
Siren: And regardless of whether she's physically in my life at the
Siren: time, like she's the.
Siren: She was the other parent of my kids.
Wendy: Yeah.
Siren: You know, that's different.
Wendy: Yeah. That's different.
Wendy: That's different.
Wendy: If it was somebody that didn't have kids with said person, ah,
Wendy: that might be like, we'd have to go get that bitch covered up.
Siren: So we moved more towards a beige flag then.
Wendy: Yeah, that'd be a beige flag.
Siren: Okay. Deal with context.
Siren: With context.
Siren: Okay.
Siren: Lesson number one.
Siren: Out of tongues.
Siren: First from the first course.
Siren: Um, a red flag can turn beige with the right context.
Wendy: Exactly. Yeah. Perception and perspective.
Wendy: You have to, you know, it's it's a big thing.
Wendy: Alright.
Wendy: So okay.
Wendy: Red flag.
Wendy: I'm not like other gays.
Wendy: Deal breaker.
Wendy: They mean it.
Siren: What does that even mean?
Siren: I don't even know what that means.
Siren: What does that mean?
Siren: I saw you write that and I was like, okay, I need I, I'm just
Siren: I'm glad this is yours.
Wendy: I'm not like other gays.
Wendy: So what is this?
Wendy: Let's let's, like, break this down.
Wendy: Stereotypical shit about gays.
Wendy: Like, oh, we U-Haul, we fucking drive Subarus.
Wendy: Like we're mass lesbians.
Wendy: We're players like we, you know, we're fuckboys.
Wendy: Okay?
Wendy: We're we're we're out to be everyone's stepdaddy like, so.
Siren: So do you mean like, they're not like other gays in, like,
Siren: they're just way too normal?
Wendy: Yeah, maybe.
Wendy: I mean, maybe.
Siren: Like, they they're more NPC than anything.
Wendy: I think in the context that they're saying is that they're
Wendy: not like other gays.
Wendy: They're saying, oh, but I'm not
Wendy: like those gays that I just
Wendy: know.
Wendy: Oh.
Siren: Oh, got you, got you.
Wendy: Yeah. So are you like them?
Wendy: Is that a red flag?
Wendy: If someone says I'm not like other gays because I feel like,
Wendy: why do you.
Wendy: Why would you say that?
Siren: Yeah.
Wendy: Or is the dealbreaker like they mean?
Wendy: They're really not like other guys.
Wendy: Do you like the stereotypical
Wendy: gay or do you not like the
Wendy: stereotypical gay?
Wendy: It just depends, you know?
Wendy: Yeah.
Wendy: It's crazy.
Wendy: Oh, look, we're some of us are are stereotypical.
Wendy: Like when someone says, who's the man in the relationship?
Wendy: There's not one.
Wendy: That's the whole point of me being gay.
Wendy: Just because I'm a lesbian, that
Wendy: doesn't mean I want to
Wendy: transition.
Wendy: It just means that I'm
Wendy: comfortable in my skin and my
Wendy: clothing.
Wendy: I might want twigs and berries,
Wendy: like once just to do the
Wendy: helicopter and pee on stuff
Wendy: standing up, but that's about
Wendy: it.
Wendy: You know, I like my lady lumps.
Wendy: I like my lady lumps, you know.
Wendy: So, you know.
Siren: Is it is it a deal breaker?
Siren: Okay.
Siren: I'm.
Siren: I'm sorry.
Siren: I'm jumping back to the first one.
Siren: Is it less of a deal breaker if
Siren: the person's ex is is, like,
Siren: already has another roommate
Siren: that they're living with who
Siren: they're dating?
Wendy: No.
Siren: Uh, no.
Wendy: Because I feel like anything
Wendy: could happen when it comes to
Wendy: lesbians.
Wendy: Especially if you date someone that quick, you're not properly
Wendy: healing from the relationship you just got out of.
Wendy: And that's potentially, like a rebound.
Wendy: And who hasn't seen that happen
Wendy: where, like, you don't have to
Wendy: worry like they're already in
Wendy: another relationship with
Wendy: somebody and then bam, you get
Wendy: cheated on cuz they're fucking
Wendy: their ex that's supposedly had
Wendy: another person.
Siren: Do you know what's so interesting?
Siren: I just thought of it in context of that.
Siren: Like everyone in this scenario is a lesbian.
Siren: Yeah.
Siren: Because in in the scenario in my head, it's not that because the
Siren: only like there was, there was a I went through a small stage in
Siren: my life where I dated boys.
Siren: Just a small stage in my life.
Siren: Um, and there was this boy I dated.
Siren: We need to come up with a name for him, because this is going
Siren: to be a podcast and we're live on the internet.
Siren: I cannot say his name out loud.
Wendy: Brad. Brad.
Siren: We'll call him Brad. Brad.
Siren: Brad lived with his ex.
Siren: His ex came out as a lesbian and
Siren: dates women and like, had
Siren: girlfriends.
Siren: But Brad still lived there.
Wendy: Yeah.
Siren: Which?
Siren: Which was really weird in a lot of ways.
Wendy: How long were they split up for?
Siren: Um, I think they were split up
Siren: for, like, less than a year, but
Siren: probably like more than six
Siren: months.
Siren: Maybe like nine months.
Siren: Eight or nine months.
Wendy: Get the fuck out.
Wendy: At that point.
Wendy: Why are you still there?
Siren: Right, right.
Siren: I feel like Chad is a better name.
Siren: Chad or Chad is.
Siren: Chad is good.
Siren: Um, but Chad also, he would regularly go up.
Siren: He would drive from, like
Siren: Philadelphia to Syracuse, New
Siren: York, to hang out with his ex's
Siren: parents because he wasn't close
Siren: with his parents, is what he
Siren: said.
Siren: But like, would cancel dates on
Siren: me to, like, drive to Syracuse,
Siren: New York to hang out with his
Siren: ex's parents?
Wendy: Hell, no. Hell, no.
Siren: Yeah, yeah.
Wendy: No.
Siren: So there was a lot more red flags.
Siren: But listen, it was my first time dating a dude.
Siren: I had no idea what the fuck I was doing.
Siren: I was like, this is just what guys do, right?
Siren: Like, this is just what guys do.
Siren: And I was quickly realized, I'm just not not into guys.
Wendy: Yeah. You're like, you're full of fuckery.
Wendy: I'm out of here.
Wendy: That's immediate.
Wendy: Hell motherfucking no.
Siren: What's the biggest red flag you
Siren: overlooked before you realized
Siren: it?
Siren: Is that too real a question?
Wendy: Oh, shit.
Wendy: The biggest red flag before I realized it.
Wendy: Dating someone who was in a
Wendy: relationship that I didn't
Wendy: realize they were in a
Wendy: relationship until I caught
Wendy: feelings, and then they were
Wendy: diddling me.
Wendy: Their current was at boot camp basic.
Wendy: And then they.
Wendy: I found out they were fucking their other ex who they cheated
Wendy: on to be with this person at boot camp, and I didn't I didn't
Wendy: totally bounce out of the situation when I should have.
Wendy: Like, that was my first wife.
Wendy: That's how we met.
Wendy: And not only was.
Siren: She really went tongue first, like for sure.
Wendy: All anyone who will pay attention to her vagina
Wendy: straighten their face.
Wendy: Not only that, she came to like, she came to like, fill me out
Wendy: because the ex that she Diddled was trying to date me, and I
Wendy: couldn't get the girl to come like meet up with me.
Wendy: So she met up with me, and then
Wendy: we ended up liking each other
Wendy: and then come to find out, like
Wendy: we started dating and then the
Wendy: chick was at boot camp, and then
Wendy: you're.
Wendy: I found out you're fucking your ex.
Wendy: And I was just like, I should
Wendy: have ended that shit then and
Wendy: there.
Wendy: I was dumb.
Wendy: I was newly into the lesbian scene.
Wendy: That would have saved me
Wendy: thirteen years of heartbreak if
Wendy: I would have just been like, you
Wendy: know what?
Wendy: I'm the only motherfucker single here.
Wendy: Deuces.
Wendy: Have fun with that.
Siren: Is it a red flag?
Siren: If someone changes the, like,
Siren: the day before the date, the
Siren: first date that you have with
Siren: them.
Siren: After talking for a while, uh, changes the solo one on one date
Siren: to a. Hey, do you want to go on a date with me and my new
Siren: girlfriend at the same time?
Siren: What, like two days before the date?
Wendy: No. Oh.
Siren: Is that a red flag?
Wendy: Yeah. Like what?
Siren: But, like, I was poly adjacent at the time.
Siren: I was still, like, co-parenting with my ex.
Wendy: But did you know the person that they were wanting to bring?
Siren: No.
Wendy: Hell, no. That's like maybe day
Wendy: two after I fucking get to know
Wendy: you on my own, then you can
Wendy: bring in.
Wendy: Oh, what's her nuts?
Siren: What do you think I said?
Wendy: You said sure.
Siren: I said, of course.
Siren: I said of course.
Siren: Why not?
Wendy: The more.
Wendy: The merrier.
Siren: Oh my.
Wendy: God. Everyone come.
Wendy: In.
Siren: That's what ended up happening.
Siren: It took a couple days, but yeah,
Siren: that's another story for another
Siren: time though.
Siren: Wow wow wow.
Siren: Listen, t for t for t is something.
Siren: It's it's next.
Siren: It's that's another level entirely.
Wendy: Indeed. And indeed indeed.
Wendy: Wow. Okay.
Siren: Okay. Moving on.
Siren: Quick!
Siren: Fire round!
Siren: Red flag or deal breaker.
Siren: They still talk to their ex every day.
Wendy: Deal breaker?
Siren: Deal breaker.
Siren: For sure.
Siren: They won't post you, but post gym mirror selfies.
Wendy: Deal breaker.
Siren: That's a red flag.
Siren: But the conversation would probably end in a deal breaker.
Siren: They say I don't do labels.
Wendy: Red flag.
Siren: I don't think I've ever actually
Siren: heard someone say I don't do
Siren: labels.
Wendy: I have for sure.
Siren: Yeah, I feel like that would be a big old question mark.
Siren: Red flag for sure.
Siren: Um, they ghost you for three days, then text.
Siren: Hey, babe.
Squeezy: Fuck off.
Wendy: Fuck off.
Siren: Fucking.
Siren: The only person in my life that
Siren: I've ever done this with is
Siren: fucking Chad.
Siren: A fucking Chad.
Siren: Chad had such a grip on me for some reason.
Siren: God damn it, Chad.
Siren: Oh my God.
Wendy: Brad.
Wendy: Chad, what the fuck?
Siren: Wow.
Wendy: The last one.
Wendy: That'll send me straight.
Wendy: Uh.
Siren: Same. Same.
Wendy: We're fucking adults.
Wendy: We don't ghost people.
Wendy: And then be like, hey, fuck off.
Wendy: I respond three days later with fuck off.
Siren: Three more days.
Siren: Yeah. Not not worth it.
Wendy: I mean, what moral of the story is siren?
Wendy: Stop turning red flags into fucking pride flags, okay?
Siren: I mean, listen, the more teas you add, it does get spicier.
Wendy: Yeah, yeah.
Siren: Put it on a stick and wave goodbye.
Siren: What is that?
Siren: Did you write that?
Siren: Put it on a stick and wave goodbye.
Siren: Oh my God.
Siren: Put the flag on a stick.
Siren: Put it on a stick and wave goodbye.
Siren: Oh my God.
Wendy: On a stick and put it in your mouth.
Siren: I'm done.
Siren: Guys, you've made it to the second course.
Siren: Well done everybody.
Siren: Did you like.
Siren: Did you enjoy the.
Siren: I hope everybody enjoyed the first course.
Siren: That was good.
Siren: We had our little, um, palate cleanser.
Siren: Okay.
Siren: Second course.
Siren: Second course, y'all.
Siren: But, Steph, let's normalize it.
Siren: I honestly, I didn't think it was abnormal.
Siren: I think maybe we're we're like I like I is it abnormal?
Siren: Maybe.
Siren: That's a good question.
Siren: Is it abnormal in lesbian spaces.
Siren: We can get into that in a second.
Siren: A full confession going through
Siren: the the script that you sent me,
Siren: I read it went through all the
Siren: sections except for this one
Siren: because I was like, I'm not sure
Siren: what's here.
Siren: And I'm excited to explore it.
Siren: Just like Beth.
Siren: Steph.
Siren: But like sometimes you have to
Siren: like, you have to just go in
Siren: blind.
Wendy: Yeah. I mean, you have to go in blind.
Wendy: Let's normalize talking about it without fucking giggling and
Wendy: being little middle schoolers.
Wendy: Lube is self-care, y'all.
Wendy: But if you say poo, I'll probably giggle.
Wendy: I'm not gonna lie.
Wendy: Don't say poo poo.
Wendy: If you say it twice, then we're really gonna fucking chuckle.
Siren: Well, three times.
Siren: And then you summon.
Wendy: Yeah, you summon the poo emoji.
Wendy: It'll just it'll come out and like little shards of poo will
Wendy: be flying off of it.
Wendy: And it's giggling and like, has
Wendy: a snail trail of shit everywhere
Wendy: behind it.
Siren: So we're not gonna talk about that.
Siren: That's the last mention of of of
Siren: poo as part of this
Siren: conversation.
Siren: If that's your kink that like.
Wendy: Don't tell us about.
Siren: It. That's fine.
Siren: Let that be your kink.
Siren: Um, I would recommend.
Wendy: Of time.
Siren: Lots of antibiotics maybe, I don't know.
Siren: Um.
Wendy: Yeah. Microbes.
Wendy: Microbes?
Siren: No, I don't know, but we could talk about that.
Siren: That's not we're talking about here, though.
Siren: Like we're talking about, like,
Siren: just like just like other areas
Siren: of the body that people enjoy
Siren: being touched.
Siren: There are sensitive areas down in that region, too.
Wendy: Wow.
Siren: Um, when you see your face.
Wendy: I have not partaken in the butt stuff.
Siren: In any sense of the word either.
Siren: Either way.
Wendy: Um, I think when I have like my
Wendy: boyfriend of like five years, a
Wendy: long time ago, he tried and I
Wendy: was like, nope, we're good,
Wendy: we're good.
Siren: Okay, so.
Wendy: You've, uh.
Siren: Yeah.
Wendy: Never really experimented with that.
Siren: Okay.
Wendy: I mean, am I, like, totally against it?
Wendy: It depends on what it is.
Wendy: But I'd say to date.
Wendy: Yes.
Wendy: Not something I've diddled with.
Siren: Okay, I. So a couple of important things to remember
Siren: before we get into this.
Siren: Um, this includes with the podcast.
Siren: This includes with the people
Siren: who are on live on TikTok right
Siren: now.
Siren: If this is making you uncomfortable.
Wendy: Trigger warning.
Siren: Um, trigger warning.
Siren: You can swipe out, you can come back, you can skip forward.
Siren: That's totally okay.
Wendy: Um, absolutely.
Siren: I'm gonna guess, like, we're
Siren: gonna talk about it in podcast
Siren: land for another eight and a
Siren: half minutes.
Siren: That's my guess.
Siren: Off the cuff.
Siren: I have no idea.
Siren: But skip forward a little bit if
Siren: it's making you feel
Siren: uncomfortable anyway, because
Siren: there are people who've had
Siren: trauma with with this area of
Siren: their body.
Siren: So like, please, like I respect that and like it's important to
Siren: note, but communication is key.
Siren: Consent is fucking key.
Siren: Comfort and cleanliness is key.
Siren: All these things should be considered without just like
Siren: diving into things and checking in with your partner.
Siren: Right?
Siren: Because I'm gonna.
Siren: I'm gonna be honest with you.
Siren: Like, there are certain aspects
Siren: of this activity in that region
Siren: that we can explore as human
Siren: beings, right?
Siren: But like, some of them are really nice.
Siren: Like, some of them are like like, like really good.
Siren: And that's just not speaking as someone who has a prostate.
Wendy: Well, I mean, is there one right way to do it?
Wendy: Like prep patience and trust?
Wendy: Is the Holy Trinity right?
Wendy: Is that what we're getting at here?
Siren: Like, I mean, prep is important, obviously.
Siren: Like, you want to be clean.
Wendy: Yes.
Siren: Yeah.
Wendy: Could you imagine?
Wendy: I would be devastated.
Siren: I know, I know, am I.
Wendy: Tried something and then like,
Wendy: oh my God, I would be
Wendy: devastated.
Siren: Oh if, if like if like something happened.
Wendy: I would just break up.
Wendy: It would just break up.
Siren: Oh my God, oh my God.
Wendy: We'd break up like.
Wendy: Yeah it would.
Wendy: Yes.
Wendy: Yeah.
Wendy: No.
Siren: Yeah.
Wendy: See you later.
Siren: Being patient with your partner is important.
Siren: Absolutely.
Siren: Both sides of that, that spectrum.
Siren: The person who is never interacted in that way before,
Siren: even if both partners have never interacted with that way before.
Siren: It's definitely something that
Siren: takes time and patience to to
Siren: explore.
Wendy: I mean, I think if you're you have a partner that you're open
Wendy: in every aspect of the way, it can't be a bad thing, you know.
Wendy: Right.
Wendy: And, you know, get a give a throw a little, you know, code
Wendy: word in there.
Siren: Sure, sure.
Wendy: You know dingleberry.
Siren: Dingleberry?
Wendy: Dingleberry is the code word.
Wendy: If you're diddling the booty hole.
Wendy: Dingleberry is the code word.
Wendy: You have to make it fun, too,
Wendy: because, like, if I. Okay, how
Wendy: many people have, like, straight
Wendy: up cackled during a sexual
Wendy: escapade?
Wendy: Like, you're doing something and then something happens and
Wendy: you're just cackling like.
Siren: Oh, yeah.
Wendy: I have a lot of those.
Siren: Yeah.
Wendy: And then you go back to it.
Wendy: It's fun.
Wendy: Have a little giggle.
Siren: Yeah. Exactly. Exactly, exactly.
Siren: Okay, so back back to the question at hand though.
Wendy: Um yes.
Siren: Prep prep conversation communication number one.
Siren: That's prep number one.
Siren: Number two, if you want to be like really clean about it, go
Siren: to your local pharmacy.
Siren: get and they call it a rectal syringe.
Siren: An enema.
Siren: It works, but they call it a rectal syringe is a reusable
Siren: like rubber ball that you can fill with water and just shoot
Siren: up there and clean yourself out a few times and eventually just
Siren: run and clear and your body's not moving anything.
Siren: And then like, you're fine for a while and things happen, but
Siren: like, you can only be as clean as you can be.
Wendy: When I trust your process.
Wendy: I've never tried it before, but
Wendy: we'll trust what you're saying,
Wendy: right?
Siren: So a bidet.
Siren: Bidet would be good as well.
Siren: Exactly, exactly a bidet.
Wendy: Okay. Um, okay.
Wendy: I could see where that would be helpful.
Wendy: I'm scared of bidets, though.
Siren: And honestly, like.
Siren: Like, if you're nervous to talk about it, that's okay.
Siren: But if you're too nervous to talk about it at all, like it's
Siren: probably not your thing.
Siren: Maybe, like.
Siren: wait or don't.
Wendy: Yeah. I mean, because no means
Wendy: no means no. It's a whole
Wendy: sentence.
Wendy: And like, you know, what's good at is like, good aftercare.
Wendy: Have some snuggles, cuddles and snack.
Siren: But they they.
Siren: That's true.
Siren: That's true for like.
Siren: But snuggles is true for like literally anything.
Siren: True.
Siren: Aftercare.
Siren: Wise.
Wendy: Snuggle will do good a forehead kiss who doesn't love a little?
Wendy: A little smoochy smooch on the forehead?
Siren: So yeah, forehead kisses after but stuff?
Siren: Yes, definitely.
Siren: Definitely need to have some
Siren: merch that says that like for
Siren: kisses are always deserved after
Siren: bad stuff.
Wendy: Exactly.
Siren: Other part of the conversation that I wanted to say before we
Siren: ended this, this section, we can move back when it comes to like
Siren: where to start.
Siren: Don't even worry about entry
Siren: penetration at all with any
Siren: aspect.
Siren: Just play around with pressure and touch.
Siren: Then you'll be surprised with the feelings and the sensations
Siren: that you can find.
Siren: And you never know.
Wendy: I might not ever know, but that's fine.
Siren: That's fair.
Wendy: That's allowed through you for sure.
Wendy: But you know, some people are just really against it.
Wendy: Okay.
Wendy: So that's okay.
Wendy: And we were we respect our partners as well.
Wendy: Yeah.
Siren: Exactly.
Siren: Yes.
Wendy: It's all good.
Siren: We you guys we made it through this.
Wendy: Course we did.
Wendy: We made it.
Siren: We made it to the second course.
Wendy: Are you feeling satiated?
Siren: I'm feeling, I'm feeling I'm
Siren: feeling like we talked about all
Siren: this stuff.
Siren: We need to talk about all the
Siren: stuff that I like, wanted to
Siren: talk about.
Siren: Um, there's so many other things that we could talk about in
Siren: terms of that I don't again.
Wendy: Beads and plugs and like.
Siren: Right. And I don't have a ton of
Siren: experience either with it
Siren: stories.
Siren: I got a story the first time someone put their tongue.
Siren: The first the first time someone put their tongue inside like
Siren: that was that was a that was an experience like I'd never
Siren: experienced before in my life.
Siren: I don't know.
Wendy: I don't know that I would have any sort of like.
Wendy: Arousal.
Wendy: Around that area.
Wendy: But I don't know.
Wendy: I've never let someone get near
Wendy: that to even more with their
Wendy: face.
Siren: And what about fingers?
Wendy: Um, I don't know if I want
Wendy: anyone putting their finger in
Wendy: my.
Siren: Don't put it in not don't just don't put it in.
Wendy: I mean, I'm like, maybe around.
Wendy: Yeah.
Wendy: Maybe around.
Siren: Yeah.
Wendy: We could.
Siren: See. Try that.
Siren: Yeah try that.
Siren: Yeah.
Wendy: We could see.
Siren: Yeah.
Siren: See if it feels weird then like don't ever again it's fine.
Siren: Or if it feels.
Wendy: Dingleberry is the code word.
Siren: Right.
Siren: Dingleberry is a code word.
Wendy: The third course, y'all, is
Wendy: navigating friendships after a
Wendy: queer breakup.
Wendy: Okay, we've all been there.
Wendy: You'd be lying if you say you didn't.
Wendy: Let's get real.
Wendy: Queer breakups hit different and same friend groups, same
Wendy: parties, same TikToks.
Wendy: Fuck.
Wendy: It's a small world.
Wendy: Insert the L word's chart up in this bitch.
Siren: Oh my god.
Siren: Chart TikTok the Tick I couldn't imagine.
Siren: I couldn't imagine the TikTok Tok in the breakup scene.
Wendy: Oh, gosh, it's so crazy.
Wendy: You just block each other.
Wendy: And then people send you shit.
Wendy: They're like, did you see this?
Wendy: I don't fucking want to see it.
Wendy: That's the point, I blocked them.
Wendy: I don't want to see it.
Siren: Yeah.
Siren: But. And it's like you can't
Siren: escape them, though, at the same
Siren: time.
Siren: Uh, even though you kind of want to.
Siren: But we're just this same small,
Siren: queer, gay community, this,
Siren: like, little, little village,
Siren: you know?
Siren: You don't want to lose friends
Siren: because it's not like we have,
Siren: like, a giant pool of people to
Siren: pull from.
Wendy: It's true.
Wendy: I mean, the hardest part is knowing when to try for
Wendy: friendship with that person or like, when to actually just,
Wendy: like, let fucking go.
Wendy: That's the hardest part because you're like, I really enjoyed
Wendy: them at some point.
Wendy: Like.
Wendy: Sucks.
Siren: I'm reading this line and.
Siren: I feel like it's more directed towards you.
Siren: Wendy.
Wendy: Oh, for her for sure.
Wendy: You want me to go ahead and read it?
Siren: No. I'm gonna read it to you, baby.
Siren: You can't heal if you're still trauma.
Siren: Bonding in each other's dreams every night.
Siren: Oh.
Wendy: That's for fucking.
Wendy: It's fine.
Wendy: We've digressed from there.
Wendy: We're married.
Siren: You're married?
Wendy: I mean, look, sometimes space is love.
Wendy: And look, sometimes when you don't know boundaries, that
Wendy: space feels like shit.
Wendy: But you can care about someone and still need distance.
Wendy: And that's really hard for me because I'm a fixer.
Wendy: I want to fix it.
Wendy: I want to be like, what can we
Wendy: do to fix this shit if it's
Wendy: fixable?
Wendy: Like, if it's just like trauma that's hurting each other.
Wendy: Not like, you know, you cheated or you hit me or, you know,
Wendy: you've done some really shady shit to me.
Siren: Right?
Siren: Have you ever.
Siren: Have you ever spent any time in
Siren: any, like, polyamory circles,
Siren: polyamorous communities, or
Siren: you're very monogamous
Siren: individual?
Wendy: Um, I mean, I've, I've known people that were poly.
Wendy: I've, I've had friends that are poly.
Wendy: I had a date with this girl that
Wendy: I met on a dating site when I
Wendy: was single, probably about a
Wendy: little over a year ago, and I
Wendy: didn't read her fine print in
Wendy: her bio.
Wendy: I just was like, oh, she's cute.
Wendy: Read the bio because it said Pollyanna and I probably would
Wendy: not have set like said yes to the date if I would have
Wendy: actually saw that.
Wendy: And then they came here and we
Wendy: went on a date, and they were
Wendy: significantly younger than me,
Wendy: and I just could not get over
Wendy: that fact that I have nieces
Wendy: their age.
Wendy: Like she was twenty seven and I was just like.
Wendy: And she was just like, I'm okay with it if you are.
Wendy: And she, like, touched my face like this and was like, hey,
Wendy: hey, how do you feel about it?
Wendy: And I was like.
Siren: Not great.
Siren: That answered your question right there.
Siren: Exactly.
Wendy: I was just like, I feel like I'm not supposed to be doing this
Wendy: even though you're an adult.
Wendy: So. And she was probably so.
Siren: So that's kind of your
Siren: association with it a little
Siren: bit.
Wendy: And I have I have friends that
Wendy: are poly and I've, you know, I
Wendy: see them how they live their
Wendy: lifestyle.
Wendy: And it takes a lot of
Wendy: communication, a lot of
Wendy: communication.
Siren: Have you seen their calendars?
Siren: Have you seen the calendars?
Siren: Oh my God.
Wendy: Full. It's full.
Wendy: I have one where it's like double Dutch.
Wendy: You gotta get in where you fit in.
Wendy: And they're both of them are fucking.
Wendy: They got the rope.
Wendy: And you gotta get in that bitch where you can fit in to get,
Wendy: like a coffee date.
Wendy: Like literally in the last ten
Wendy: years, I've gotten maybe three
Wendy: coffee dates.
Wendy: Like, that's how fucking busy they are.
Siren: How do people I. I am not a calendar girly.
Siren: I can't like.
Siren: No, I, I have a what some might consider a calendar but it's,
Siren: it's a tough one.
Siren: It's mostly in my brain.
Siren: Um, same.
Siren: Honestly, bravo on us for like,
Siren: showing up here every other
Siren: week.
Siren: We did it for two weeks so far.
Siren: High five, high five us.
Siren: Oh, other other side.
Siren: This.
Siren: This way.
Siren: This side right here.
Siren: Yeah.
Siren: Gotcha.
Siren: Yeah. Right there.
Wendy: We're so cool.
Wendy: Look at this.
Siren: We we are the the literal coolest I think.
Siren: So the reason I ask about that is because one of my, one of the
Siren: people I dated before I met my current girlfriend is Polly.
Siren: And to not not be like, hey, I'm married and I'm not satisfied.
Siren: And we're trying to see other people also type.
Siren: Holly.
Siren: It was a hey, I've been poly the entire time.
Siren: I've been in a relationship with
Siren: my wife of twelve years, and our
Siren: children who are eight and four,
Siren: and I'm about getting ready to
Siren: get married to my second partner
Siren: type deal.
Siren: And I went to their they had a birthday party and I was invited
Siren: to come to a birthday party.
Siren: We had been on like three dates,
Siren: which was crazy to come to their
Siren: birthday party after going on
Siren: three dates.
Siren: But like not only was her current like her, her like
Siren: current partner at the time, plus her other partner plus
Siren: multiple of her exes because like, everybody has dated
Siren: everybody in this whole circle.
Siren: And I'll tell you what, I have not felt more Love and lack of
Siren: drama in a space of human beings that have all, like, seen each
Siren: other naked than I have in this space, it was pretty wild.
Wendy: I mean, I'm telling you, you have to be really emotionally
Wendy: intelligent to be poly.
Siren: Yeah.
Wendy: For sure. So, like, I, I would
Wendy: hope that that space would be
Wendy: like that.
Wendy: Yeah.
Wendy: Because like.
Siren: It was impressive.
Siren: I had just never.
Wendy: To them for being professional Poly's.
Siren: Yeah.
Wendy: Properly properly up in this bitch.
Siren: Um, but yeah.
Siren: So like, I gotta imagine breakups in a scenario like that
Siren: are a little bit different.
Siren: Uh, but.
Siren: Yeah, I don't know.
Siren: It's.
Siren: I feel like you can get caught
Siren: in that cycle, that loop, and I,
Siren: I like.
Siren: I feel like this strikes a little bit hard.
Siren: The strikes a little bit close to home.
Siren: Wendy, for what you're going through right now.
Wendy: Yeah. Um, I mean.
Siren: I don't.
Siren: Want to say caught in a loop, but, like, you're you're coming
Siren: in a circle right now.
Siren: Coming in a circle?
Wendy: Yeah. We come in.
Siren: We come strictly.
Siren: In.
Siren: Circles.
Wendy: I think that, you know, with my situation, it's like so
Wendy: different because we we've known each other for twelve years and
Wendy: then so quickly got into a relationship with them after my
Wendy: first ex-wife was just, just not a great human and just chance
Wendy: after chance or meanwhile was trying to evolve and grow.
Wendy: And, you know, there's this person that's like a breath of
Wendy: fresh air in any space because we are friends, like always.
Wendy: Any space I was in, I'm gonna see where the fuck she's at, and
Wendy: I'm going to be drawn to her and literally every space.
Wendy: And she was the same way.
Wendy: She was just more low key with it, you know what I mean?
Wendy: And and like, there wasn't any disrespect during the marriage
Wendy: and during her marriage or anything like that.
Wendy: It was just friends shot my shot.
Wendy: They weren't ready.
Wendy: They were getting divorced after a long relationship, and my
Wendy: first ex-wife and I back and forth, and then we just got
Wendy: together really quickly after the last time when I ended it
Wendy: and I was like, I've been healing from her for years.
Wendy: No, I thought I was healing, but I hadn't really I hadn't really
Wendy: began to know what actual healing looked like.
Wendy: And in training yourself, your mind to think differently and
Wendy: react differently from like, toxic responses and trauma
Wendy: responses and like just being insecure, having trust issues
Wendy: with someone that was just constantly cheating on you.
Wendy: It it was a it was an issue in the relationship and I wasn't
Wendy: meaning to be, like, toxic or untrusting, but it's just like,
Wendy: how do you not be that after being in a thirteen year
Wendy: relationship where literally someone just like, was the
Wendy: dirtiest fucking person.
Wendy: Like literally cheated with
Wendy: somebody that we worked with at
Wendy: the, at our, our place of
Wendy: employment.
Wendy: And then we split up and I had
Wendy: to move out of my house that I
Wendy: lived in.
Wendy: So her and her kids could move in.
Wendy: And then I still work there after that because I'd been
Wendy: working there for six years.
Siren: Yeah.
Wendy: So still had to see them.
Wendy: It was there was a lot of trauma from it, but we both had trauma.
Wendy: We've hurt each other with the trauma.
Wendy: I'm still doing therapy.
Wendy: She's starting therapy.
Wendy: And so now it feels it feels different.
Wendy: It feels really.
Siren: It's it's kind of like that.
Siren: Question of like when does the like you're you're always
Siren: becoming a new person.
Siren: You're always growing, you're always changing.
Siren: And at what point of that growth and change.
Siren: Are you a new enough, new enough person?
Siren: Doesn't feel right, but like are you?
Siren: Are your equations going to
Siren: equal themselves out because
Siren: like.
Siren: Yeah.
Siren: You're both changing.
Siren: It's not like you're changing the person they used to want.
Siren: Yeah.
Siren: It's not like they changed the person that you used to want.
Siren: Yeah.
Siren: Because you don't want the same thing anymore.
Siren: Mhm.
Wendy: The core of the person is still very much the same.
Wendy: And that's what is attractive to me is that the core and you know
Wendy: we're, there's times where we're not all the best versions of
Wendy: ourselves because we've been through shit, you know.
Wendy: But as long as you're not you're like, look, sometimes we
Wendy: unintentionally do things because we're unaware of them.
Wendy: And then it if it's a pattern in your in your actively not trying
Wendy: to be better or do better, then that's just really who you are
Wendy: as a person.
Wendy: But if you're constantly saying like, hey, I want to change, I
Wendy: want to grow, I want to make this right and different.
Wendy: What can I do to better that?
Wendy: What can I do to help or hold space for you?
Wendy: I think that's where it separates the two.
Wendy: You know.
Wendy: But it's hard.
Wendy: It's hard being in a lesbian relationship.
Siren: It is.
Siren: It's hard getting older and being.
Siren: In relationships.
Siren: Too.
Wendy: I'm such a lover.
Wendy: I'm such a lover girl.
Wendy: And I give people so much grace.
Wendy: More than I should sometimes.
Wendy: And I know that.
Wendy: Yeah.
Wendy: You have to get to the point where you love yourself.
Siren: Yeah.
Wendy: More than anybody else could love you.
Wendy: Because then you set those
Wendy: boundaries, and that shit's
Wendy: hard.
Siren: You don't need anybody else to complete us.
Siren: No.
Wendy: No. And for a long time, I thought I did.
Wendy: Like, I had my person.
Wendy: if I like that made me.
Wendy: I was like, oh, you know, if I just have this person, then I
Wendy: could feel loved and whole.
Wendy: But I know wholeheartedly that I'm a great fucking person.
Wendy: I'm a good person.
Wendy: I'm solid, I show up, I try to be the best version of myself I
Wendy: can be every day, and I can take care of my fucking self.
Wendy: And I don't need anyone.
Wendy: It's it's a want.
Wendy: Not a not a need.
Siren: Yeah, exactly.
Siren: And if you rebuild a friendship,
Siren: set boundaries, you know, no
Siren: late night flirty texts, no
Siren: accidental cuddles.
Wendy: I mean, yeah, because you'll just end up right back up in the
Wendy: fucking gay loop of what are we?
Wendy: What are we?
Wendy: Where are we going?
Wendy: What are we, what are we doing?
Wendy: You know.
Siren: And I think that's a whole other
Siren: episode for us to get into next
Siren: time.
Wendy: Yes, yes.
Wendy: Next time, next time.
Siren: Awesome. That was.
Siren: That was the third course, everybody.
Siren: Well done.
Wendy: Y'all want a little dessert?
Siren: Okay, so the last lick this is for the chat.
Siren: This is for the live chat.
Siren: The people who showed up on TikTok here.
Siren: Guys what's up, what's up, what's up?
Wendy: An ace baby.
Siren: Thank you.
Siren: Yes. How is the soup?
Siren: The soup was delicious.
Siren: But that's not.
Siren: That's not the Q&A we're talking about.
Wendy: Oh, we're talking about.
Wendy: No, it's time for the last lick your questions, your
Wendy: confessions, and maybe your unhinged hot takes.
Siren: Because if there's one thing we
Siren: love more than queer chaos, it's
Siren: queer community.
Siren: Let's hear what y'all have to say.
Wendy: Do we have any questions, comments, concerns?
Wendy: Do we have any unhinged hot takes?
Wendy: Do y'all have any anything?
Wendy: Now's the time.
Wendy: What do you want to ask?
Wendy: But stuff.
Wendy: Relationship stuff.
Wendy: Red flags.
Wendy: What are they?
Wendy: Sirens said her prostate.
Wendy: So is that pre surgery?
Siren: No they don't.
Siren: My prostate.
Siren: I still have a prostate.
Wendy: They don't remove the prostate.
Siren: Um.
Wendy: How do you know who's the more dominant one.
Siren: From looking on?
Siren: Like on the outside or from within the relationship?
Siren: I think you talk.
Siren: Yeah.
Wendy: I mean, I mean, I think that when you're growing in sexy, you
Wendy: just switch it up, right?
Siren: I think that's probably true too, because like.
Wendy: But there might be one that's more dominant.
Wendy: It would be me.
Siren: Clearly.
Siren: Okay. So the question here, how would I have handled it if my
Siren: kids were not comfortable calling me mom?
Wendy: Oh, that's a good question.
Siren: That's a great question.
Siren: Not super.
Siren: Relevant to.
Siren: What we were talking.
Siren: About.
Siren: But that's okay.
Siren: This is from.
Siren: This is from someone.
Wendy: Curiosity.
Siren: Curiosity question.
Siren: Um, and we welcome everything.
Siren: Uh, I think, well, I mean, at
Siren: the age that they were at the
Siren: time, they wouldn't they were so
Siren: young.
Siren: I mean, my oldest was five,
Siren: like, had, like, just turned
Siren: five, so.
Siren: It really wasn't going to be an issue.
Siren: Um, if they were older, like if
Siren: I had come out now and for some
Siren: reason they weren't okay with
Siren: it, it would have hurt at the
Siren: time.
Siren: Yeah.
Siren: You know, and I think that's, that's really like that's like I
Siren: want to say it wouldn't, um, I wouldn't tell them that, like,
Siren: you know, they.
Siren: Probably.
Siren: Read it on my face, but, um.
Siren: You know, at least at first it would have hurt.
Wendy: Would it have changed your mind?
Siren: No. No. In terms of, like, coming out?
Siren: No.
Siren: Yeah.
Wendy: Like it would.
Wendy: Would it have affected your want and need to transition if they.
Wendy: Okay.
Siren: No.
Siren: You know, it would.
Siren: It would merely have changed
Siren: more the how I am able to
Siren: interact with them in public, I
Siren: think.
Siren: Yeah.
Siren: That's what was hard for me at first.
Siren: I mean, it's hard for me still like today.
Siren: Like getting misgendered in public isn't.
Siren: I'm not, like, offended.
Siren: It's more of a safety thing with my kids especially.
Siren: I'm not gonna love them any less based on what they call me.
Siren: Like my my daughter tonight,
Siren: putting her to bed wouldn't
Siren: stop.
Siren: What did she call me?
Siren: Gerald.
Squeezy: Gerald.
Siren: Gerald. It was Gerald is what she called me.
Siren: Putting her to.
Siren: Bed.
Siren: I was Gerald tonight.
Siren: Putting her to bed I don't like.
Siren: It's okay.
Siren: Kids are kids.
Siren: She's five years old.
Siren: Like.
Siren: Yeah.
Siren: But she named.
Siren: She named me Gerald tonight and whatever.
Siren: It doesn't.
Siren: Matter as.
Wendy: Long as Gerald's a bad bitch.
Siren: We don't.
Siren: Wait. As long as Gerald's a bad bitch.
Siren: No one gives a shit.
Siren: No.
Wendy: When you explore all areas of your body, it's never dirty.
Wendy: Well, if you need to shower, it's fucking dirty.
Wendy: Like, you know what I mean?
Wendy: For two years after suffering and was actively dating women.
Wendy: I mean, sometimes you could do
Wendy: that, but, like, that's not
Wendy: ideal for someone you're in a
Wendy: relationship with.
Wendy: For you to be living with your ex for two years, you know?
Siren: Yeah.
Wendy: There was another question in the chat about is there a
Wendy: forehead public experience?
Wendy: Um, I mean, I would say, yeah, I have one and I know siren has
Wendy: one that's like siren has a few, I have a few.
Wendy: So mine was uh, and I've said
Wendy: this before in chat to people,
Wendy: this is probably the one that
Wendy: that stands out the most for me
Wendy: when it comes to like a public
Wendy: space.
Wendy: I was going to a concert, um, in
Wendy: Indy, probably like four years
Wendy: ago.
Wendy: I was standing outside of the venue waiting for my best friend
Wendy: to get there, and I drunk cis white man, uh, walked up to me
Wendy: and said, uh, you look like a it, don't you?
Wendy: I should beat your ass.
Wendy: And I was literally just standing there existing.
Wendy: And thankfully, like nothing happened, his friend came and
Wendy: like, pulled him away from me.
Wendy: But that was that's something that really sticks out.
Wendy: I've also really been called,
Wendy: you know, the f word, a dyke,
Wendy: like, you know, just for merely
Wendy: existing.
Wendy: So, you know, those are not
Wendy: great experiences that I've had
Wendy: that you can't just merely exist
Wendy: in the world without someone
Wendy: being hateful and feeling
Wendy: compelled to be really shitty
Wendy: towards you.
Siren: Yeah.
Siren: I, um, I've told the story about
Siren: the people coming in from, like,
Siren: trying to run me over with their
Siren: truck before.
Siren: I don't want to tell that one again.
Siren: Um, I used to work at a coffee shop called.
Siren: Well, I'm not going to tell the name of it.
Siren: It's.
Siren: It's a green, which, um, coffee shop and I used to have to deal
Siren: with customers at the front, um, register when they came in.
Siren: And there was in my area, there was not many people that would
Siren: come in rocking political hats of a certain color, honestly,
Siren: like one or two people that would ever come in with with
Siren: hats like that.
Wendy: Mhm.
Siren: Um, and this guy come up, comes up and starts trying to make
Siren: small talk with me in line and like, knows this person in front
Siren: of line with me.
Siren: I don't remember the whole
Siren: breakdown of the story, but
Siren: eventually he comes up, um,
Siren: asking about some favorite song,
Siren: and he's like, oh yeah, you know
Siren: that song like the The Boy Named
Siren: Sue?
Siren: You know that song obviously, like, looks at me like that and
Siren: I'm like, excuse me?
Siren: And he's like, yeah, because like, you know, like like he
Siren: starts, like dropping me.
Siren: He dropping me like I'm in like the middle and the guy in the
Siren: megaphone, oh my gosh.
Siren: But I didn't even think about the guy with the megaphone.
Siren: Um, yeah.
Siren: But this is just in my job.
Siren: And it's just like trying to poke fun at the fact that I'm
Siren: trans and I'm just trying to do my job and take his order and
Siren: make his coffee.
Siren: Right.
Siren: And, like, get a laugh.
Siren: It's it's unbelievable.
Siren: Um.
Wendy: Like, got your expense like you.
Wendy: You think maybe it's just not harmful?
Wendy: Your little fucking jab.
Wendy: But it is because it's rooted in and like, uh, it's rooted in
Wendy: hate and it's rooted in, like, just fucking blatant rudeness.
Siren: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Siren: So, um, Sarah wanted to remind
Siren: everybody, this is a this is a
Siren: reminder that actually got
Siren: passed on to her from her
Siren: sister.
Siren: Is that when it comes to butt
Siren: stuff that we want to be really,
Siren: really careful and use
Siren: lubrication and plenty of
Siren: lubrication, because she ended
Siren: up with, I think there was a
Siren: number like seven hemorrhoids
Siren: after one experience without
Siren: lubrication.
Siren: So please, please chat.
Siren: Use lubrication.
Siren: It's important.
Wendy: I'm good.
Wendy: I don't want one, let alone seven.
Siren: Don't.
Siren: Well, just don't put anything in.
Siren: You don't have to put something inside, is what I'm telling you.
Siren: Anyway, we digress.
Siren: Okay, okay, okay.
Siren: Last one, last one.
Siren: Do you want to read the line or you want me to read the line.
Wendy: Before we move to wrap?
Wendy: Wrap up.
Siren: Yeah.
Wendy: One more question for you.
Wendy: Siren.
Wendy: What's something that left a
Wendy: good taste in your mouth this
Wendy: week?
Siren: A good taste in my mouth.
Siren: Um.
Siren: Honestly, I'm still tasting it right now.
Siren: Uh, this delicious chicken soup
Siren: that I made tonight, uh, for
Siren: dinner.
Siren: It was so, so, so good.
Wendy: Well, mine wasn't gonna be as PG friendly.
Wendy: It was someone's puss in my mouth.
Siren: That's so fair, though, too.
Siren: That is so.
Siren: Fair. That's perfect.
Siren: I may or may not have turned slowly to my left and looked at
Siren: my girlfriend over there.
Wendy: I seen that, yes, I did, yes I did.
Wendy: I sure did.
Wendy: All right, babe.
Wendy: So we covered a lot red flags,
Wendy: the deal breakers, but stuff and
Wendy: breakups that turn into
Wendy: friendships?
Siren: Yes.
Siren: And maybe relationships again after that.
Wendy: Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Wendy: Yeah yeah yeah.
Siren: This episode was a whole buffet of chaos and growth.
Siren: Um, I'm here for it for sure.
Wendy: All right, well, before we go, can we each drop a green flag
Wendy: that we look for?
Wendy: Siren.
Wendy: You go.
Siren: Mine, I would have to say, is emotional maturity.
Siren: If you can feel your feelings and be honest about them.
Siren: Oh, baby.
Siren: I'm yours.
Wendy: Mine would be like accountability.
Wendy: Like you take accountability for your actions.
Wendy: You apologize.
Wendy: That is some sexy shit.
Wendy: She she she she.
Wendy: Matter of fact.
Siren: Some of my.
Siren: Friends.
Siren: Don't forget to send your confessions or questions for
Siren: next week's episode.
Siren: We might read them on air here, right now.
Siren: Or just come hang out with us in the TikToks.
Siren: Come hang out with us in the the
Siren: TikTok live two Thursdays from
Siren: today.
Wendy: Yes, two Thursdays from today.
Wendy: Follow us tongues first wherever you get your podcasts.
Wendy: And remember.
Siren: If you're gonna talk shit, do it with your tongue first.
Wendy: La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la.
Wendy: We love y'all.
Wendy: We love you.
Wendy: We appreciate you.
Wendy: Thank you so much for being here
Wendy: holding space for our new
Wendy: podcast.
Wendy: We Adore You.
Siren: You've been listening to tongue first with Sharon and Wendy
Siren: produces love, laughter, and probably too much caffeine.
Siren: Until next time, stay curious,
Siren: stay queer and don't forget to
Siren: lick responsibly.
Brooke: Thanks for tuning in to the first The Queer Curiosity
Brooke: podcast with a bite.
Brooke: If you laughed, learned, or even blushed a little, hit subscribe
Brooke: and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts.
Brooke: Your support keeps the mics hot
Brooke: and the conversations even
Brooke: hotter.
Brooke: New episodes drop every week, so we'll see you soon.
Brooke: Until next time, stay curious,
Brooke: stay queer, and don't forget to
Brooke: lick responsibly.
Siren: Tongue first is written and hosted by Aubree Jane Jones and
Siren: Wendy Reeves, produced and edited by Aubree Jane Jones.
Siren: Recorded live with our TikTok
Siren: communities where chaos and
Siren: curiosity collide.
Siren: Special thanks to our TikTok moderators for keeping things
Siren: running smoothly, and to Brookdale for lending her voice
Siren: to our intro and outro.