Today we continue in our study of the book of
1 Corinthians. As we have been going through
this, we're going through it chapter by chapter,
mostly verse by verse, seeking to understand
what the will of God is for our lives and what
His Word speaks to us as it was written. In this
case, written to the church at Corinth by the
Apostle Paul. Now, as we are going through this
particular passage, this can be a bit awkward
sometimes, or we can think of it in that way
as we're dealing with some of the more personal
lives, especially of marriage. But I would just
urge you to look at the word, and I, by God's
grace, will preach it to you as best as I am
able in an appropriate way. Today, we are looking
at principles for married life. which is going
to be all through this passage. And our subject
today is particularly the more intimate part
of marriage. Having dealt clearly and distinctly
with the problem of sexual immorality in the
previous chapter, the Apostle Paul now turns
to principles for marriage. He has given to us
the prohibitions against sexual immorality. But
now he addresses the proper use of God's good
gift of the sexual relationship between a man
and a woman in marriage, as well as a number
of other instructions and counsel. Let's read
this passage. We're looking today at verses one
through nine. Now concerning the things of which
you wrote to me, it is good for a man not to
touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual
immorality, let each man have his own wife and
let each woman have her own husband. Let the
husband render to his wife the affection due
her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
The wife does not have authority over her own
body, but the husband does. And likewise, the
husband does not have authority over his own
body, but the wife. Do not deprive one another
except with consent for a time that you may give
yourself to fasting and prayer and come together
again so that Satan does not tempt you because
of your lack of self -control. But I say this
as a concession, not as a commandment, for I
wish that all men were even as I myself. But
each one has his own gift from God, one in this
manner and another in that. But I say to the
unmarried and to the widows, it is good for them
if they remain even as I am. But if they cannot
exercise self -control, let them marry. For it
is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Let's pray. Father, we come to you, Lord, in
this scripture and we ask, O Lord, as there is
so much here. and there are some things that
are a bit difficult to understand. I pray that
you would open up our hearts and minds, that
you would give us the power of the Holy Spirit
to be able to understand. And Lord, I pray that
as we look at this subject, that we might do
so in the fear of the Lord and with wisdom. Please,
Lord, guide us this day, for we need you. In
Jesus' name, amen. This chapter begins a response
about matters. that were written in a letter
by the church at Corinth to Paul. Up until now,
Paul's been addressing matters reported to him
by Clow, as well as other members of the congregation
probably reported to him in person. Now there's
a shift. This shift begins in this chapter with
these words, Now concerning the things of which
you wrote to me. He chose to organize this follow
-up. to the prohibitions and problem with sexual
immorality that he dealt with in chapters 5 and
chapter 6. But he now shifts to answering their
questions. In this chapter, Paul will address
four different aspects of marriage, along with
a section on Christian calling and responsibility.
The sections are as follows. There is the section
on marriage and celibacy, which is verse 1 through
9. Then there is a section on marriage and divorce,
which we're going to look at in verse 10 through
16, Lord willing, next week. There's one then
on Christian calling and responsibility, verses
17 to 24. Then there's one section on marriage
and virgins, verses 25 to 38. And finally, he
deals with marriage and the remarriage of widows
in verses 39 and 40. I expect to be in this chapter
for a little while. I expect there will probably
be four or five sermons in order to do justice
to the many wonderful precepts and the clear
instructions that are given here. I do want to
take one tangent, though, as I plan to explore
the subject of the status of the children of
believers. In verse 14, as the apostle declares
that they are not unclean, but holy. So I intend
to deal with that fairly thoroughly. Going back
now to the passage before us, Pastor Bill Einwechter,
whom I served with for a number of years in Pennsylvania,
he preached through this book and it was very
helpful in my own life. And in listening to this
sermon on this passage again, He outlines four
competing perspectives that created confusion
in the Corinthian church. And I think they are
very helpful in understanding this passage. So
I share them with you. These perspectives are
gleaned from inference in the Bible and from
other historical sources. But it helps us to
understand a little bit what was going on. just
as it is here and it is a whole number of places
in the book of Corinthians, Paul doesn't give
the questions that were answered. He only responds
to them. So we have to kind of figure out what
were the questions or what were the issues that
were going on. So there's these four perspectives.
So first of all, within the Corinthian church,
there was the Jewish view. And that is that marriage
was considered obligatory. It is a religious
duty. Young men were expected to marry somewhere
between ages 16 to 18. Remaining unmarried at
age 20 was viewed with high suspicion. You know,
kind of a, you know, you better get with it here.
Okay, so that was at age 20. Very different than
it is today. So there was the Jewish view. Then
there was the ascetic view. Now, that's not aesthetics
as in beauty. It's ascetic as in denying bodily
things. Okay, in other words, being real strict
about certain things and denying of the material
world. They taught that self -denial, especially
of physical pleasures, elevated one's spiritual
standing. In other words, you could get closer
to God if you would deny your body in a whole
number of things, including the marriage relationship.
And so celibacy was prized as the superior calling,
but then sex, even with marriage, was seen as
demeaning, and they would encourage married couples
to stop as well. So these were the ascetics,
and they are referred to a number of times in
the New Testament, but they were there in Corinth.
Thirdly, there were the libertines. That is,
they held a low view of the marriage covenant,
and they divorced and remarried with ease. Oh
sure, I'm tired of you or whatever. Okay, I'm
going to divorce you and I'm going to marry you
again. It's not a big deal. So there were the
libertines. Finally then, there were the legalists.
That is, they believed that unequally yoked marriages,
that is the marriage of a believer and an unbeliever,
that they should be dissolved. In other words,
they need to separate. And of course for this,
they would draw on Old Testament examples from
Ezra and Nehemiah where that took place. And
we'll see that being referred to in the portion
from 10 to 16. So these four things help us to
understand why Paul addresses some of the things
that he does in this chapter. Finally then, before
we go on to the main points of verses 1 to 9,
consider again the cultural context. Corinth
was notorious. for unrestrained sexual immorality.
Temple and party prostitutes and others of every
kind were readily available in large numbers.
Many, if not most, Roman or Greek husbands would
not take sexual delight in their wife for she
was only for creation and to bear legitimate
heirs. Sexual pleasure was found in others, slaves,
mistresses, courtesans, prostitutes, etc. This
context must be kept in mind as we read this
chapter for Paul completely upends the culture.
And that is that Christian believers were to
set a whole new standard for marriage relationships.
One that conformed to the word of God given in
the Old Testament as well as the teachings of
Jesus directly and through the apostles that
built upon that foundation. We see a key background,
or we see a key text that really helps to understand
this background of Christian fidelity back in
the book of Proverbs. Proverbs chapter 5, verse
15 to 21, which is a powerful and a poetic exhortation
on sexual fidelity in marriage and the joy of
exclusive marital intimacy. God's word says,
Proverbs 5, verse 15 through 21. Drink water
from your own cistern and running water from
your own well. Should your fountains be dispersed
abroad, streams of water in the streets, let
them only be your own and not for strangers with
you. Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice
with the wife of your youth. As a loving dear
and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you
at all times and always be enraptured with her
love. For why should you, my son? be enraptured
by an immoral woman and be embraced in the arms
of a seductress. For the ways of man are before
the eyes of the Lord and he ponders all his paths.
This is the biblical teaching and Paul is building
on this and he is applying it to the Corinthian
church completely and diametrically in opposition
to the culture of the day. Therefore, now, Building
on this, he goes through and expounds on these
principles. So let's consider the text and profit
thereby. The first is in verse 1. This is Paul's
response to the Corinthian question. He says,
Now concerning the things of which you wrote
to me. As I said, Paul now shifts to answering
questions or dealing with matters sent to him
by letter. We do not have record of these questions,
but we can infer them from the passage. He then
says, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.
Now, this particular phrase is a little difficult
to understand. So I'm going to try to unpack
it for you, but there's really two different
ways to look at it and then two different ways
in one of the ways. So I'll try to make it simple,
but I want to unpack it. What is he talking about
here? It is good for a man to touch a woman.
So not to touch a woman. Well, the first is.
there's a possibility that Paul is restating
or quoting the position of some in Corinth. In
other words, this is part of it. Concerning the
things you wrote to me, it is good for a man
not to touch a woman. In other words, they are
saying that it is good for a man not to touch
a woman as to use a woman for sexual gratification
either in or out of the married state. Biblical
Greek did not use quotation marks. So any quotes...
must be taken from the context and grammar. So
this would have been said against the other Corinthian
view that sex is a necessity, like eating or
drinking. In other words, Paul could be quoting
the ascetics, the one who thought that marital
intimacy should never happen even if you are
married. And if you're not married, don't get
married. Now, if this is the correct interpretation,
the rest of my comments about this verse are
still valid. However... I don't think that's
what's happening here. I could be wrong, but
I don't think so. I take this verse, not as a
quote from the ascetics, but as a statement by
Paul to the Corinthians. It is good for a man
not to touch a woman. What then does he mean?
The word touch. is not referring to a handshake,
a hug, or social touching in that way. Although
the word was sometimes used in that way, such
as a woman with a discharge of blood who touched
Jesus. Touch also means to fasten oneself to
or to cling to. This is in the Greek. And thirdly,
it can mean carnal intercourse or cohabitation
with a woman. But in Greek literature of the
day, it was mostly used as a sexual reference,
especially in an exploitative way, acting out
of a desire to take advantage of someone through
self -gratification. Therefore, I think the proper
understanding here is that touch is a sexual
euphemism, which could be referring to the marriage
act, or it is more likely... That Paul is addressing
the actual act with a woman who is not your wife.
And using that woman for personal gratification.
It is most likely referring to the kind of touching.
As is used in Proverbs chapter 6 verse 29. So
is he who goes into his neighbor's wife. Whoever
touches her shall not be innocent. Now granted.
It is possible, based on Paul's statement in
verses 7 and 8 and 26 and 28, that Paul is saying
it is good for a man not to come together in
marriage and have that marriage relationship.
And he does so, as he explains later, because
of the present distress and so that each one
remains in the state that they are. Now, if so,
this verse affirms the value and goodness of
singleness. and of sexual abstinence in certain
contexts, such as Paul's own example and also
Jesus' teaching in Matthew 19 that there are
some that make themselves eunuchs for the kingdom
of heaven. Either way, Paul is not giving a blanket
condemnation of marriage or of sex, but a recognition
that undivided devotion to the Lord can be facilitated
by singleness. and beneficial in times of great
upheaval, of distress, or famine. We'll deal
with this later when we get to verse 32 to 35.
There are certain benefits in certain limited
contexts and calling, but celibacy is not biblically
superior to marriage. Nor does this verse contradict
God's original command at creation. When God
himself says it is not good for man to be alone.
Genesis chapter 2 verse 18. So my contention
here is that Paul in this is not arguing for
the inherent superiority of singleness. But as
Wesley states for the prudence of remaining in
one's current state during difficult times. So
putting this all together. Does Paul here have
a low view of marriage? Is this what he is expressing
here? That it's good for a man not to be married?
Some argue that. From this passage and from others
in the chapter that he does. That the best place
for a Christian is to be single, undistracted
by the cares of a spouse and the earthiness of
sexual union. There have been many cultic groups
who teach this. Where we lived in Pennsylvania,
there's a museum called the Ephrata Cloister.
And it was there where, a couple hundred years
ago, Seventh Day Baptists, so they were Baptist
Sabbatarians who worshipped only on Saturday.
And they created some type of a commune there.
And this is one of the things that they taught.
So everyone who came and lived there was not
to be married. Most of them were singles, but
even the ones who did come, there were some times
when a wife would come or where a husband would
come or even when a couple would come, and then
they had to agree to abstain from any kind of
sexual relationship because this was ungodly.
It wasn't right. It's not right to do this. It's
just a whole kind of weird thing. There are many
others, and it's often, just as an aside, Cultic
groups or cults will either go to that side or
they'll go completely to the other where everything's
okay. Everyone belongs to everybody else and
it's a whole thing like that. And there's been
many like that as well. Anyway, some have taught
this. There's also a theme that runs. Of course,
you know, we see the amount of singles that we
have in the church today at large in the United
States, and so there's some who try to justify
that by saying, well, it's really more holy to
be married, or it's a better thing not to be
married, or it's because then you can give to
the Lord, and there's lots of people that can
have the gift of singleness. I don't think Paul
is teaching that here, and as you will see as
I go through this. Paul does not have a low view
of marriage, nor is it inferior. So consider,
Paul wrote Ephesians 5, which depicts the beauty
and mystery of marriage as a picture of Christ
in the church. He wrote that passage. How could
he have a low view of marriage? It's impossible.
Furthermore, in the book of 1 Timothy, three
times, 1 Timothy 3, Elders and deacons must be
the husband of one wife. It was, you know, of
course it was dealing with, was he dealing with
polygamy or was he dealing with infidelity? There's
all sorts of things which we went through that
when I preached through that passage. But the
whole point here is, if they're married, they
need to be the husband of one wife. And marriage
is a good qualification because their children
are an example of their leadership abilities.
Paul writes that. He does not have a low view
of marriage. A chapter later, in 1 Timothy 4,
verse 3, Paul says, Paul himself, the same writer,
he says that false teachers give heed to doctrines
of demons. And what do they do? They forbid to
marry. It is the doctrine of demons. Here's the
verse. Now the Spirit expressly says that in
latter times some will depart from the faith,
giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines
of demons, speaking lies and hypocrisy, having
their own conscience seared with a hot iron,
forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain
from foods which God created to be received with
thanksgiving by those who believe and know the
truth. A mark of cultish behavior is that they
mess with biblical doctrine on food, And on sex.
It happens all the time. Even now. So there again.
That's the doctrine of demons. To forbid to marry.
And then finally in 1st Timothy 5 verse 14. Paul
encourages the younger widows. To marry. He says
I would. That the younger women. The widows marry.
Which can also be extrapolated to others. So.
Paul does not have a low view of marriage. Therefore
I conclude. That the first or the best and the
strongest meaning of this verse is that Paul
is saying it is not good for a man to live in
sexual union outside of marriage. Then he continues
right on in verse 2. Nevertheless, because of
sexual immorality, let each man have his own
wife and let each woman have her own husband.
This brings us to our second point. That is the
necessity and goodness of marriage in light.
Of immorality. Marriage is the God ordained context.
For sexual relationships. So the act itself.
Is good. It is right. It is blessed by God. It
is ordained by God. Between a husband and a wife.
Everything outside of that. Is sin. The word
pornea. It is immorality. Which covers everything.
That is unlawful. Everything. God created. This
strong urge and drive. It is part of the original
dominion mandate given to Adam and Eve in Genesis
chapter 1 verse 28. What does he tell them? Be
fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and subdue
it. How are you going to do that if you don't
have a relationship together? No. This is part
of it right there. Again, after Noah came out
of the ark, the same command was repeated to
him and to his offspring. Genesis 9 verse 7.
And as for you, be fruitful and multiply. Bring
forth abundantly in the earth and multiply in
it. Excuse me. Why was it not good for man to
be alone? Well, there's certainly a whole number
of reasons why it's not good for man to be alone.
Why man needs a helper who is suitable for him.
I can sure attest to that, and I think all of
you here can. There's a lot of reasons why we
need a wife, men. Yes, but there's a primary
one that's right here. The first one is that
he cannot bear any offspring by himself. There
is no next generation. He must be fruitful and
multiply and so he needs a wife. God created
the complementary parts of a man and a woman
and he gave them the desire within and they come
together in marriage and sexual union. This intense
and overpowering desire is found in nearly all
human beings. Thus if there is no marriage, most
men and a lot of women will fall into sexual
immorality if there is no marriage. Paul teaches
the answer to this problem. Because of sexual
immorality, let each one, each man, have his
own wife, and the woman have her own husband.
To have not only indicates getting married or
taking a wife but also the regular mutual satisfaction
of sexual desires. The word own, his own wife
or her own husband signifies belonging to each
other and to no one else in the same way. Belonging
to each other. They are their own, his own wife,
her own husband. This also by the way speaks.
of one wife and one husband. This is an emphasis
both on monogamy and fidelity. Monogamy being
one man, one woman, not one man, multiple wives,
or polygamy. Polygamy does not fit with this.
I think this is an additional New Testament teaching
on it. Paul teaches this as a practical safeguard
against the sexual temptations prevalent in Corinth.
and in every culture. If a husband and wife do
not come together frequently, the temptation
becomes very strong. With the abundance of available
sexual partners, and with the cultural view that
sex was like any other bodily urge, like hunger
or thirst, immorality was the norm. The answer
is certainly self -discipline under the rule
of Christ in the heart, but it is also the sexual
relationship between a husband and a wife. Paul's
going to develop this now in the next few verses.
Number three, mutual marital duties and authority
in the marriage bed. These are verses three to
five. Let the husband render to his wife the
affection due her, and likewise also the wife
to her husband. The wife does not have authority
over her own body, but the husband does. And
likewise the husband does not have authority
over his own body, but the wife does. Do not
deprive one another, except with consent for
a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting
and prayer, and come together again, so that
Satan does not tempt you because of your lack
of self -control. Let's unpack this a little
more. First of all, there's mutual sexual obligation
in marriage. Verse 3. The physical relationship
in a marriage is not an option. Paul speaks here
of obligations. That is of duty. A mutual obligation
and duty to each other. Where husbands and wives
are to regularly fulfill their responsibilities
one to another. It's what render means. Render
the affection due means that you are to deliver.
You are to discharge what is due. You are to
give. And the tense is a continuous one. That
is an ongoing, generous, mutual giving, not merely
a duty, but also a delight. This rendering the
affection due is to be done from the husband
to the wife and from the wife to the husband.
Now, the immediate context of this verse, though,
is not procreation. It is not just coming together
so that you can have children. It is rather affection.
Affection, also translated as benevolence or
kindness or goodwill. The word is used elsewhere,
spoken by Paul to servants. who are in Ephesians
6, 5, and 8, to do the will of God from the heart
and with good will doing service. Duties and
obligations are all throughout life, and we are
not to do them grudgingly or half -heartedly
or with clenched teeth or manipulatively, but
willingly, generously, and with good will toward
each other. The command here is to give love,
to give affection, not to command it or demand
it. It is full of reciprocity, of mutual love
and satisfaction, caring for one another and
giving to one another willingly. That's the meaning
here, to render that which is due. Secondly,
in verse 4, there is mutual authority over each
one's body. The wife's body belongs to her husband.
The husband's body belongs to his wife. This
is a profound statement of mutual authority.
This is not just the husband possessing. No,
it is authority in both the wife and the husband,
each one over the other one. And so there is
a mutual belonging. It is a self -giving love
and it is a rejection of selfish autonomy in
marriage. I am in my own person. I can do what
I want. No, if you're a married person, you need
to do things on the basis for your wife and use
a wife for your husband. That's what the word
is saying here. We owe it to each other. And
in fact, not only do we owe it, we have authority
over. Now, let's be clear here. The authority
over each other's body must be exercised with
love, tenderness, communication, and understanding
let me repeat that the authority over each other's
body must be exercised with love with tenderness
with communication and understanding understanding
the needs of the other but also considerate of
the other's exhaustion or the time of the natural
cycles of the body there are temptations for
both the wife and the husband as the drive is
often more intense in the husband He can easily
be tempted to be controlling or dominating or
domineering. The wife can easily be tempted to
use the relationship as a way to manipulate,
as a reward for good behavior, or to withhold
because of actions or behavior that she dislikes.
No, the mutual obligation is not to be used for
control or manipulation, as it often happens.
The kind of thing, if you will, well then I will.
Would you like this? Okay, well, then you do
this. That kind of thing. No, it's a mutual love
for one another and a responsibility to each
other. The other thing that's profound here is
with the wife having authority over the husband,
that means that he's also restrained by her.
Remember, again, the context and culture of the
day. There was much availability. And with the
wife's authority over him, she was able to remind
him, I'm for you and you need to be true to me.
You can't go do this. There's also that kind
of thing. So you belong to each other. Now keep
in mind, the calendar should not be rigid. You
both need to communicate your needs to each other.
And you can't forget about grace. You cannot
forget about grace. These instructions show.
that husbands and wives should not be prudish
toward each other, but should be able to communicate
openly these things, talking about their sexual
needs and limitations to each other. Then he
moves on in verse 5 to a warning against deprivation.
Do not... deprive one another do not deprive
or defraud is a very strong imperative in the
greek it's like this stop doing it stop depriving
each other stop it that's how strong it is some
couples were already withholding for ascetic
reasons saying no it's more spiritual not to
so we need to do that and using that control
or others or Some were doing it in immorality
with others. Stop doing it. The verb translated
deprive usually means to cause another to suffer
loss by taking away through illicit means. It
is translated to rob, to steal, to despoil, or
to defraud. It is used in James to describe the
withholding of wages due to the hired man. And
it's completely condemned in scripture. So to
withhold the marriage relationship from each
other in marriage or to use it to control or
manipulate is to go against a very clear command
of God. He says, stop doing it. Do not do this.
Now, just as a side note, if you're in a troubled
situation or a difficult one, if one or the other
is withholding against the commands of God. That
is no excuse for the other to find fulfillment
elsewhere. There's no excuse for that. God's
word does not give license to say, well, my wife's
not meeting my needs, so that gives me the freedom
to go out and do this and find someone else.
Though it can be very difficult, self -control
is still required, and God grants grace and ability
for that. Self -control is one of the fruits
of the Spirit. Moving back, this mutual bond
is deep and powerful. Husbands, study your wife.
Learn to meet her needs and how to physically
satisfy her. Wives, recognize your husband's
frequent need for intimacy to maintain the bond.
Defrauding each other or one another greatly
increases temptation to sin because God designed
us as sexual beings. That is not crass. That
is not weird. No, God designed it that way. It
is by creation. Violating this command has destroyed
many marriages and destroyed the bond that happens
as married couples come together. Now the apostle
then goes on to grant one exception to this obligation
and duty. And this is if by mutual agreement
for a limited time. Since the authority over
the wife's body belongs to the husband and the
authority over the husband's body belongs to
the wife, then the decision to abstain may not
be made only by the one. It may not be. It must
be an agreed upon decision by both. Perhaps the
couple determines to fast or to pray regarding
something and they choose together to fast in
this area also. This could be a time of focused
prayer and fasting. Temporary abstinence is permitted
only under these four criteria. Number one, mutual
consent. Number two, for a specific stated time.
Number three, for a God -honoring purpose. And
number four, with a clear plan to resume relations
later or afterward. Those four, they're right
here, four criteria. Now, Paul gives this one.
Are there other exceptions? Is there a possibility
that there are? We do find a few others in the
Bible and also in practically speaking. For example,
Leviticus 12 in the ceremonial law gives a certain
time period after the birth of a son and of a
daughter where there is not a coming together.
Of course, that can also be for health reasons,
but I think there was also a ceremonial aspect
there as well as the purification of the blood
that Leviticus 12 goes into. I'm not going to
get into it today. I'm just putting it there
that that was part of it. It was also understood
in the time of war when men go away to battle
or travel, go to sea for an extended time. Notably,
it was set forth that any man who... who wanted
to go home to his wife instead of going to battle
was allowed to choose to do so. It was not forced
conscription in the army throughout all of the
Old Testament. It was designed where they were
allowed. If they wanted to go home, they could.
In each of these cases, though, these four criteria
should be met. Mutual consent for a specified
and stated time. for a God -honoring purpose,
and with a clear plan to resume relations afterward.
Husbands, I'm going to say this. The husband
should not make extended travel plans without
the consent of the wife. I think that's one of
the things that we can draw from this that's
pretty clear. And that's, I say, extended for
a longer time. Paul speaks of the danger of prolonged
deprivation, and he tells married couples to
come together again, that is to have ongoing
intimacy so that Satan does not tempt you. This
is to drink from your own cistern, as Proverbs
5 speaks. Why is this? Because Satan exploits
lack of self -control and provides many temptations
to immorality. This is the warning that he gives
here in verse 5. That Satan does not tempt you
because of your lack of self -control. Number
4 then, he deals with a concession. A concession
regarding abstinence, singleness, and self -control.
Verses 6 to 9. And this will be the last major
point. I say this, he says, as a concession,
not as a commandment. For I wish that all men
were even as I myself. But each one has his own
gift from God, one in this manner and another
in that. But I say to the married and to the
widows, it is good for them if they remain even
as I am. But if they cannot exercise self -control,
let them marry. For it is better to marry than
to burn with passion. Now again here we're getting
into some things and tenses like, okay, what
exactly is the apostle trying to bring home here
to us? I'll give you some things, but obviously
I may not be completely comprehensive. There's
a lot in here. First of all, he says, but I say
this as a concession, not as a command. To what
is Paul conceding and not commanding? Is it the
whole idea of marriage and for the possibility
of living a single life? Is that what he's saying
here? I'm giving all of this in this passage
just by concession? I don't think so. Certainly
where he says, do not deprive one another. That
is not conciliatory speech. It's command. Don't
do this. So I don't think he's conceding this.
I think rather that he's giving a concession
on the possibility of temporary abstinence in
verse 5. This might be an acknowledgement to
the ascetics that it would be okay to defer relations
for a time of spiritual renewal or prayer and
fasting, but only for a time. In other words,
he gives permission to cease from obeying his
commands in verses two to five, but only on a
temporary basis. I think that might be what he
is saying there. I speak this as a concession.
Then he goes on and says, for I wish that all
men were even as myself. All right. Now we know
that Paul was unmarried, that he was celibate.
Although he may have been married at one time,
there is some conjecture about that. So is Paul
saying here that I wish that all people would
be unmarried? I don't think so. This interpretation
goes against many other scriptures. Alfred Barnes
put it in a way that I think is really good.
He says that Paul was unmarried is evident from
1 Corinthians 9 verse 5. But he does not refer
to this fact here. While he wishes that all people
were like himself, he evidently does not intend
that he would prefer that all should be unmarried.
For this would be against the divine institution
and against his own precepts elsewhere. He would
be glad if all people had control over their
passions and propensities as he had. Had the
gift of continence and could abstain from marriage
when circumstances of trial, etc. would make
it proper. End quote. I think what he's saying
here is, I wish that all could be self -controlled
as I am. I believe that is what he is saying,
that all men were as myself. Paul's wish is that
each person would be content with their own station
in life. That is that they would have the gift
of contentedness from God. Some have the gift
of celibacy and singleness. And there are certain
advantages that come with that gift in the service
of Christ. Especially in difficult circumstances.
Others have the gift of marriage. They should
be content with that. Paul was gifted with confidence,
with self -control. He was able to go on those
long missionary journeys in a way that would
have been impossible if accompanied by his wife.
Hear this long list of what he gives in 2 Corinthians
11 verse 24. And imagine how this would be if
he had a wife to care for during this time. Here's
what he said. For from the Jews five times I
received forty stripes minus one. Three times
I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three
times I was shipwrecked. A night and a day I
have been in the deep. In journeys often. In
perils of waters. In perils of robbers. In perils
of my own countrymen. In perils of the Gentiles.
In perils of the city. In perils in the wilderness.
In perils in the sea. In perils among false brethren.
in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often,
in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold
and nakedness, besides the other things, what
comes upon me daily, my deep concern for all
the churches. Now imagine the difficulty of caring
for and maintaining a wife in those circumstances.
Practically impossible. And Paul was content
in his calling. And thus he refers, I wish that
all men were even as myself. To the unmarried
and widows, he says it is good for them if they
remain even as I am. In verse 8, the unmarried
and widows, Paul mentions, may include widowers
as the Greek term is masculine and lacked a specific
word for widower or was used very seldom. So
it's probably referring here to both widows and
widowers. Again, he is urging contentedness in
their single life, but as he states in verse
9, if they cannot exercise self -control, let
them marry, for it is better to marry than to
burn with passion. This is realistic pastoral
counsel. Yes, self -control is great, but it's
better to marry honorably than to be consumed
by uncontrolled lust, on fire with passion. And
this is a good word for us to apply in various
ways. Finally then, let's look at a few applications.
Number one, marriage is a legitimate and good
outlet for sexual desire and it is a profound
covenant that reflects the gospel. It reflects
the gospel and it reflects the church of Jesus
Christ. It is a picture of that. It is the normal
way for a man and a woman to live and God blesses
it. Second, if you are a young single person,
pray for a wife or a husband. Unless you have
a clear sense and contentment that God is calling
you to live a single life for his glory. Otherwise,
pray. Pray that God would lead you to a wife.
or to a husband. Prepare yourself in the worship
of God and in self -discipline and pray that
God would sovereignly bring you to that person.
If you're a man, actively seek a wife unless
there's a present distress, as Paul writes later
in the chapter in verses 26 and 27. Third, if
you're a widow or widower, be content with your
station in life, but open to the possibilities
that might come. However, if you're a young widow,
Paul's counsel is this in 1 Timothy 5 verse 14.
Therefore, I desire that the younger widows marry,
bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity
to the adversary to speak reproachfully. Whether
single or married, our calling, brothers and
sisters, is to holiness. It is to self -control.
It is to faithfulness in marriage. Actually,
faithfulness to God's design, whether single
or married. So let us then pursue purity. Let
us honor the marriage bed. Let us glorify God
with our bodies because our bodies are a temple
of the Holy Spirit who is in you and you are
not your own. Let's pray.