WEBVTT 00:00:01.740 --> 00:00:04.219 Today we continue in our study of the book of 00:00:04.219 --> 00:00:07.019 1 Corinthians. As we have been going through 00:00:07.019 --> 00:00:10.339 this, we're going through it chapter by chapter, 00:00:10.480 --> 00:00:14.080 mostly verse by verse, seeking to understand 00:00:14.080 --> 00:00:17.980 what the will of God is for our lives and what 00:00:17.980 --> 00:00:23.699 His Word speaks to us as it was written. In this 00:00:23.699 --> 00:00:27.719 case, written to the church at Corinth by the 00:00:27.719 --> 00:00:36.100 Apostle Paul. Now, as we are going through this 00:00:36.100 --> 00:00:39.899 particular passage, this can be a bit awkward 00:00:39.899 --> 00:00:42.560 sometimes, or we can think of it in that way 00:00:42.560 --> 00:00:44.859 as we're dealing with some of the more personal 00:00:44.859 --> 00:00:49.719 lives, especially of marriage. But I would just 00:00:49.719 --> 00:00:52.700 urge you to look at the word, and I, by God's 00:00:52.700 --> 00:00:55.420 grace, will preach it to you as best as I am 00:00:55.420 --> 00:00:59.840 able in an appropriate way. Today, we are looking 00:00:59.840 --> 00:01:03.560 at principles for married life. which is going 00:01:03.560 --> 00:01:08.359 to be all through this passage. And our subject 00:01:08.359 --> 00:01:11.280 today is particularly the more intimate part 00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:16.980 of marriage. Having dealt clearly and distinctly 00:01:16.980 --> 00:01:20.099 with the problem of sexual immorality in the 00:01:20.099 --> 00:01:24.060 previous chapter, the Apostle Paul now turns 00:01:24.060 --> 00:01:29.239 to principles for marriage. He has given to us 00:01:29.239 --> 00:01:33.420 the prohibitions against sexual immorality. But 00:01:33.420 --> 00:01:38.099 now he addresses the proper use of God's good 00:01:38.099 --> 00:01:41.980 gift of the sexual relationship between a man 00:01:41.980 --> 00:01:45.640 and a woman in marriage, as well as a number 00:01:45.640 --> 00:01:49.359 of other instructions and counsel. Let's read 00:01:49.359 --> 00:01:52.180 this passage. We're looking today at verses one 00:01:52.180 --> 00:01:55.180 through nine. Now concerning the things of which 00:01:55.180 --> 00:01:58.980 you wrote to me, it is good for a man not to 00:01:58.980 --> 00:02:02.859 touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual 00:02:02.859 --> 00:02:07.299 immorality, let each man have his own wife and 00:02:07.299 --> 00:02:10.960 let each woman have her own husband. Let the 00:02:10.960 --> 00:02:13.460 husband render to his wife the affection due 00:02:13.460 --> 00:02:16.860 her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 00:02:17.479 --> 00:02:20.219 The wife does not have authority over her own 00:02:20.219 --> 00:02:23.580 body, but the husband does. And likewise, the 00:02:23.580 --> 00:02:27.020 husband does not have authority over his own 00:02:27.020 --> 00:02:32.590 body, but the wife. Do not deprive one another 00:02:32.590 --> 00:02:37.389 except with consent for a time that you may give 00:02:37.389 --> 00:02:41.389 yourself to fasting and prayer and come together 00:02:41.389 --> 00:02:45.270 again so that Satan does not tempt you because 00:02:45.270 --> 00:02:49.270 of your lack of self -control. But I say this 00:02:49.270 --> 00:02:51.710 as a concession, not as a commandment, for I 00:02:51.710 --> 00:02:54.650 wish that all men were even as I myself. But 00:02:54.650 --> 00:02:57.289 each one has his own gift from God, one in this 00:02:57.289 --> 00:03:00.250 manner and another in that. But I say to the 00:03:00.250 --> 00:03:02.990 unmarried and to the widows, it is good for them 00:03:02.990 --> 00:03:05.650 if they remain even as I am. But if they cannot 00:03:05.650 --> 00:03:08.710 exercise self -control, let them marry. For it 00:03:08.710 --> 00:03:12.129 is better to marry than to burn with passion. 00:03:13.030 --> 00:03:15.789 Let's pray. Father, we come to you, Lord, in 00:03:15.789 --> 00:03:18.409 this scripture and we ask, O Lord, as there is 00:03:18.409 --> 00:03:21.650 so much here. and there are some things that 00:03:21.650 --> 00:03:23.909 are a bit difficult to understand. I pray that 00:03:23.909 --> 00:03:26.490 you would open up our hearts and minds, that 00:03:26.490 --> 00:03:28.330 you would give us the power of the Holy Spirit 00:03:28.330 --> 00:03:31.849 to be able to understand. And Lord, I pray that 00:03:31.849 --> 00:03:34.009 as we look at this subject, that we might do 00:03:34.009 --> 00:03:37.349 so in the fear of the Lord and with wisdom. Please, 00:03:37.349 --> 00:03:41.169 Lord, guide us this day, for we need you. In 00:03:41.169 --> 00:03:47.449 Jesus' name, amen. This chapter begins a response 00:03:47.449 --> 00:03:50.300 about matters. that were written in a letter 00:03:50.300 --> 00:03:53.719 by the church at Corinth to Paul. Up until now, 00:03:53.879 --> 00:03:56.580 Paul's been addressing matters reported to him 00:03:56.580 --> 00:04:00.280 by Clow, as well as other members of the congregation 00:04:00.280 --> 00:04:03.520 probably reported to him in person. Now there's 00:04:03.520 --> 00:04:07.319 a shift. This shift begins in this chapter with 00:04:07.319 --> 00:04:11.099 these words, Now concerning the things of which 00:04:11.099 --> 00:04:16.519 you wrote to me. He chose to organize this follow 00:04:16.519 --> 00:04:19.620 -up. to the prohibitions and problem with sexual 00:04:19.620 --> 00:04:22.680 immorality that he dealt with in chapters 5 and 00:04:22.680 --> 00:04:27.879 chapter 6. But he now shifts to answering their 00:04:27.879 --> 00:04:32.360 questions. In this chapter, Paul will address 00:04:32.360 --> 00:04:36.920 four different aspects of marriage, along with 00:04:36.920 --> 00:04:40.939 a section on Christian calling and responsibility. 00:04:41.680 --> 00:04:45.519 The sections are as follows. There is the section 00:04:45.519 --> 00:04:48.920 on marriage and celibacy, which is verse 1 through 00:04:48.920 --> 00:04:53.579 9. Then there is a section on marriage and divorce, 00:04:54.040 --> 00:04:56.120 which we're going to look at in verse 10 through 00:04:56.120 --> 00:04:59.500 16, Lord willing, next week. There's one then 00:04:59.500 --> 00:05:03.000 on Christian calling and responsibility, verses 00:05:03.000 --> 00:05:07.360 17 to 24. Then there's one section on marriage 00:05:07.360 --> 00:05:12.470 and virgins, verses 25 to 38. And finally, he 00:05:12.470 --> 00:05:14.870 deals with marriage and the remarriage of widows 00:05:14.870 --> 00:05:20.490 in verses 39 and 40. I expect to be in this chapter 00:05:20.490 --> 00:05:23.370 for a little while. I expect there will probably 00:05:23.370 --> 00:05:26.310 be four or five sermons in order to do justice 00:05:26.310 --> 00:05:29.089 to the many wonderful precepts and the clear 00:05:29.089 --> 00:05:31.750 instructions that are given here. I do want to 00:05:31.750 --> 00:05:34.649 take one tangent, though, as I plan to explore 00:05:34.649 --> 00:05:38.069 the subject of the status of the children of 00:05:38.069 --> 00:05:42.879 believers. In verse 14, as the apostle declares 00:05:42.879 --> 00:05:46.500 that they are not unclean, but holy. So I intend 00:05:46.500 --> 00:05:51.120 to deal with that fairly thoroughly. Going back 00:05:51.120 --> 00:05:54.420 now to the passage before us, Pastor Bill Einwechter, 00:05:54.560 --> 00:05:56.819 whom I served with for a number of years in Pennsylvania, 00:05:57.060 --> 00:06:00.699 he preached through this book and it was very 00:06:00.699 --> 00:06:03.759 helpful in my own life. And in listening to this 00:06:03.759 --> 00:06:06.850 sermon on this passage again, He outlines four 00:06:06.850 --> 00:06:10.149 competing perspectives that created confusion 00:06:10.149 --> 00:06:12.470 in the Corinthian church. And I think they are 00:06:12.470 --> 00:06:15.850 very helpful in understanding this passage. So 00:06:15.850 --> 00:06:18.470 I share them with you. These perspectives are 00:06:18.470 --> 00:06:21.850 gleaned from inference in the Bible and from 00:06:21.850 --> 00:06:24.730 other historical sources. But it helps us to 00:06:24.730 --> 00:06:28.589 understand a little bit what was going on. just 00:06:28.589 --> 00:06:31.029 as it is here and it is a whole number of places 00:06:31.029 --> 00:06:33.250 in the book of Corinthians, Paul doesn't give 00:06:33.250 --> 00:06:35.829 the questions that were answered. He only responds 00:06:35.829 --> 00:06:38.949 to them. So we have to kind of figure out what 00:06:38.949 --> 00:06:42.149 were the questions or what were the issues that 00:06:42.149 --> 00:06:45.250 were going on. So there's these four perspectives. 00:06:45.709 --> 00:06:48.970 So first of all, within the Corinthian church, 00:06:49.089 --> 00:06:52.389 there was the Jewish view. And that is that marriage 00:06:52.389 --> 00:06:55.189 was considered obligatory. It is a religious 00:06:55.189 --> 00:06:59.000 duty. Young men were expected to marry somewhere 00:06:59.000 --> 00:07:03.300 between ages 16 to 18. Remaining unmarried at 00:07:03.300 --> 00:07:07.100 age 20 was viewed with high suspicion. You know, 00:07:07.120 --> 00:07:10.100 kind of a, you know, you better get with it here. 00:07:10.360 --> 00:07:13.040 Okay, so that was at age 20. Very different than 00:07:13.040 --> 00:07:16.259 it is today. So there was the Jewish view. Then 00:07:16.259 --> 00:07:20.240 there was the ascetic view. Now, that's not aesthetics 00:07:20.240 --> 00:07:23.839 as in beauty. It's ascetic as in denying bodily 00:07:23.839 --> 00:07:26.649 things. Okay, in other words, being real strict 00:07:26.649 --> 00:07:29.870 about certain things and denying of the material 00:07:29.870 --> 00:07:34.149 world. They taught that self -denial, especially 00:07:34.149 --> 00:07:38.089 of physical pleasures, elevated one's spiritual 00:07:38.089 --> 00:07:40.990 standing. In other words, you could get closer 00:07:40.990 --> 00:07:44.670 to God if you would deny your body in a whole 00:07:44.670 --> 00:07:48.649 number of things, including the marriage relationship. 00:07:49.769 --> 00:07:53.970 And so celibacy was prized as the superior calling, 00:07:54.170 --> 00:07:58.110 but then sex, even with marriage, was seen as 00:07:58.110 --> 00:08:00.949 demeaning, and they would encourage married couples 00:08:00.949 --> 00:08:04.149 to stop as well. So these were the ascetics, 00:08:04.389 --> 00:08:07.810 and they are referred to a number of times in 00:08:07.810 --> 00:08:10.009 the New Testament, but they were there in Corinth. 00:08:10.410 --> 00:08:12.949 Thirdly, there were the libertines. That is, 00:08:12.949 --> 00:08:15.930 they held a low view of the marriage covenant, 00:08:16.050 --> 00:08:19.759 and they divorced and remarried with ease. Oh 00:08:19.759 --> 00:08:23.579 sure, I'm tired of you or whatever. Okay, I'm 00:08:23.579 --> 00:08:25.139 going to divorce you and I'm going to marry you 00:08:25.139 --> 00:08:27.160 again. It's not a big deal. So there were the 00:08:27.160 --> 00:08:30.040 libertines. Finally then, there were the legalists. 00:08:30.180 --> 00:08:33.600 That is, they believed that unequally yoked marriages, 00:08:33.720 --> 00:08:36.279 that is the marriage of a believer and an unbeliever, 00:08:36.399 --> 00:08:39.059 that they should be dissolved. In other words, 00:08:39.059 --> 00:08:42.200 they need to separate. And of course for this, 00:08:42.240 --> 00:08:45.500 they would draw on Old Testament examples from 00:08:45.500 --> 00:08:50.029 Ezra and Nehemiah where that took place. And 00:08:50.029 --> 00:08:53.269 we'll see that being referred to in the portion 00:08:53.269 --> 00:08:58.610 from 10 to 16. So these four things help us to 00:08:58.610 --> 00:09:01.649 understand why Paul addresses some of the things 00:09:01.649 --> 00:09:06.049 that he does in this chapter. Finally then, before 00:09:06.049 --> 00:09:08.370 we go on to the main points of verses 1 to 9, 00:09:08.490 --> 00:09:12.149 consider again the cultural context. Corinth 00:09:12.149 --> 00:09:18.929 was notorious. for unrestrained sexual immorality. 00:09:19.190 --> 00:09:23.470 Temple and party prostitutes and others of every 00:09:23.470 --> 00:09:27.090 kind were readily available in large numbers. 00:09:27.820 --> 00:09:32.320 Many, if not most, Roman or Greek husbands would 00:09:32.320 --> 00:09:35.700 not take sexual delight in their wife for she 00:09:35.700 --> 00:09:38.580 was only for creation and to bear legitimate 00:09:38.580 --> 00:09:43.120 heirs. Sexual pleasure was found in others, slaves, 00:09:43.440 --> 00:09:47.740 mistresses, courtesans, prostitutes, etc. This 00:09:47.740 --> 00:09:51.340 context must be kept in mind as we read this 00:09:51.340 --> 00:09:56.600 chapter for Paul completely upends the culture. 00:09:57.669 --> 00:10:01.070 And that is that Christian believers were to 00:10:01.070 --> 00:10:04.289 set a whole new standard for marriage relationships. 00:10:04.470 --> 00:10:08.190 One that conformed to the word of God given in 00:10:08.190 --> 00:10:10.690 the Old Testament as well as the teachings of 00:10:10.690 --> 00:10:13.750 Jesus directly and through the apostles that 00:10:13.750 --> 00:10:17.759 built upon that foundation. We see a key background, 00:10:17.960 --> 00:10:22.460 or we see a key text that really helps to understand 00:10:22.460 --> 00:10:25.960 this background of Christian fidelity back in 00:10:25.960 --> 00:10:28.740 the book of Proverbs. Proverbs chapter 5, verse 00:10:28.740 --> 00:10:34.740 15 to 21, which is a powerful and a poetic exhortation 00:10:34.740 --> 00:10:40.059 on sexual fidelity in marriage and the joy of 00:10:40.059 --> 00:10:44.440 exclusive marital intimacy. God's word says, 00:10:44.580 --> 00:10:48.460 Proverbs 5, verse 15 through 21. Drink water 00:10:48.460 --> 00:10:52.559 from your own cistern and running water from 00:10:52.559 --> 00:10:55.639 your own well. Should your fountains be dispersed 00:10:55.639 --> 00:10:58.460 abroad, streams of water in the streets, let 00:10:58.460 --> 00:11:02.220 them only be your own and not for strangers with 00:11:02.220 --> 00:11:05.899 you. Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice 00:11:05.899 --> 00:11:10.659 with the wife of your youth. As a loving dear 00:11:10.659 --> 00:11:16.039 and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you 00:11:16.039 --> 00:11:20.320 at all times and always be enraptured with her 00:11:20.320 --> 00:11:24.679 love. For why should you, my son? be enraptured 00:11:24.679 --> 00:11:27.980 by an immoral woman and be embraced in the arms 00:11:27.980 --> 00:11:31.779 of a seductress. For the ways of man are before 00:11:31.779 --> 00:11:35.879 the eyes of the Lord and he ponders all his paths. 00:11:36.320 --> 00:11:39.379 This is the biblical teaching and Paul is building 00:11:39.379 --> 00:11:42.799 on this and he is applying it to the Corinthian 00:11:42.799 --> 00:11:46.639 church completely and diametrically in opposition 00:11:46.639 --> 00:11:52.049 to the culture of the day. Therefore, now, Building 00:11:52.049 --> 00:11:55.870 on this, he goes through and expounds on these 00:11:55.870 --> 00:11:58.610 principles. So let's consider the text and profit 00:11:58.610 --> 00:12:02.190 thereby. The first is in verse 1. This is Paul's 00:12:02.190 --> 00:12:04.830 response to the Corinthian question. He says, 00:12:05.009 --> 00:12:07.070 Now concerning the things of which you wrote 00:12:07.070 --> 00:12:10.190 to me. As I said, Paul now shifts to answering 00:12:10.190 --> 00:12:12.269 questions or dealing with matters sent to him 00:12:12.269 --> 00:12:14.809 by letter. We do not have record of these questions, 00:12:15.009 --> 00:12:18.120 but we can infer them from the passage. He then 00:12:18.120 --> 00:12:21.480 says, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 00:12:22.399 --> 00:12:26.539 Now, this particular phrase is a little difficult 00:12:26.539 --> 00:12:29.460 to understand. So I'm going to try to unpack 00:12:29.460 --> 00:12:31.720 it for you, but there's really two different 00:12:31.720 --> 00:12:34.659 ways to look at it and then two different ways 00:12:34.659 --> 00:12:37.720 in one of the ways. So I'll try to make it simple, 00:12:37.779 --> 00:12:40.320 but I want to unpack it. What is he talking about 00:12:40.320 --> 00:12:43.279 here? It is good for a man to touch a woman. 00:12:43.919 --> 00:12:46.460 So not to touch a woman. Well, the first is. 00:12:46.879 --> 00:12:48.960 there's a possibility that Paul is restating 00:12:48.960 --> 00:12:51.740 or quoting the position of some in Corinth. In 00:12:51.740 --> 00:12:53.860 other words, this is part of it. Concerning the 00:12:53.860 --> 00:12:57.240 things you wrote to me, it is good for a man 00:12:57.240 --> 00:13:00.539 not to touch a woman. In other words, they are 00:13:00.539 --> 00:13:03.799 saying that it is good for a man not to touch 00:13:03.799 --> 00:13:06.460 a woman as to use a woman for sexual gratification 00:13:06.460 --> 00:13:10.419 either in or out of the married state. Biblical 00:13:10.419 --> 00:13:13.759 Greek did not use quotation marks. So any quotes... 00:13:14.090 --> 00:13:17.389 must be taken from the context and grammar. So 00:13:17.389 --> 00:13:19.970 this would have been said against the other Corinthian 00:13:19.970 --> 00:13:23.070 view that sex is a necessity, like eating or 00:13:23.070 --> 00:13:25.950 drinking. In other words, Paul could be quoting 00:13:25.950 --> 00:13:28.690 the ascetics, the one who thought that marital 00:13:28.690 --> 00:13:31.649 intimacy should never happen even if you are 00:13:31.649 --> 00:13:33.730 married. And if you're not married, don't get 00:13:33.730 --> 00:13:36.570 married. Now, if this is the correct interpretation, 00:13:36.929 --> 00:13:40.309 the rest of my comments about this verse are 00:13:40.309 --> 00:13:44.500 still valid. However... I don't think that's 00:13:44.500 --> 00:13:46.159 what's happening here. I could be wrong, but 00:13:46.159 --> 00:13:48.700 I don't think so. I take this verse, not as a 00:13:48.700 --> 00:13:52.559 quote from the ascetics, but as a statement by 00:13:52.559 --> 00:13:55.940 Paul to the Corinthians. It is good for a man 00:13:55.940 --> 00:14:00.120 not to touch a woman. What then does he mean? 00:14:00.539 --> 00:14:04.559 The word touch. is not referring to a handshake, 00:14:04.559 --> 00:14:07.480 a hug, or social touching in that way. Although 00:14:07.480 --> 00:14:10.519 the word was sometimes used in that way, such 00:14:10.519 --> 00:14:13.039 as a woman with a discharge of blood who touched 00:14:13.039 --> 00:14:17.960 Jesus. Touch also means to fasten oneself to 00:14:17.960 --> 00:14:23.559 or to cling to. This is in the Greek. And thirdly, 00:14:23.600 --> 00:14:26.639 it can mean carnal intercourse or cohabitation 00:14:26.639 --> 00:14:30.279 with a woman. But in Greek literature of the 00:14:30.279 --> 00:14:33.950 day, it was mostly used as a sexual reference, 00:14:34.309 --> 00:14:40.870 especially in an exploitative way, acting out 00:14:40.870 --> 00:14:44.649 of a desire to take advantage of someone through 00:14:44.649 --> 00:14:49.110 self -gratification. Therefore, I think the proper 00:14:49.110 --> 00:14:52.009 understanding here is that touch is a sexual 00:14:52.009 --> 00:14:54.970 euphemism, which could be referring to the marriage 00:14:54.970 --> 00:14:58.659 act, or it is more likely... That Paul is addressing 00:14:58.659 --> 00:15:01.519 the actual act with a woman who is not your wife. 00:15:01.740 --> 00:15:04.480 And using that woman for personal gratification. 00:15:05.039 --> 00:15:08.600 It is most likely referring to the kind of touching. 00:15:08.659 --> 00:15:13.820 As is used in Proverbs chapter 6 verse 29. So 00:15:13.820 --> 00:15:17.419 is he who goes into his neighbor's wife. Whoever 00:15:17.419 --> 00:15:23.220 touches her shall not be innocent. Now granted. 00:15:23.870 --> 00:15:26.610 It is possible, based on Paul's statement in 00:15:26.610 --> 00:15:31.230 verses 7 and 8 and 26 and 28, that Paul is saying 00:15:31.230 --> 00:15:34.330 it is good for a man not to come together in 00:15:34.330 --> 00:15:36.690 marriage and have that marriage relationship. 00:15:37.190 --> 00:15:40.330 And he does so, as he explains later, because 00:15:40.330 --> 00:15:43.309 of the present distress and so that each one 00:15:43.309 --> 00:15:47.289 remains in the state that they are. Now, if so, 00:15:47.509 --> 00:15:50.289 this verse affirms the value and goodness of 00:15:50.289 --> 00:15:53.159 singleness. and of sexual abstinence in certain 00:15:53.159 --> 00:15:57.320 contexts, such as Paul's own example and also 00:15:57.320 --> 00:16:00.179 Jesus' teaching in Matthew 19 that there are 00:16:00.179 --> 00:16:02.580 some that make themselves eunuchs for the kingdom 00:16:02.580 --> 00:16:06.659 of heaven. Either way, Paul is not giving a blanket 00:16:06.659 --> 00:16:10.480 condemnation of marriage or of sex, but a recognition 00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:14.299 that undivided devotion to the Lord can be facilitated 00:16:14.299 --> 00:16:17.659 by singleness. and beneficial in times of great 00:16:17.659 --> 00:16:20.519 upheaval, of distress, or famine. We'll deal 00:16:20.519 --> 00:16:22.820 with this later when we get to verse 32 to 35. 00:16:23.519 --> 00:16:26.220 There are certain benefits in certain limited 00:16:26.220 --> 00:16:31.460 contexts and calling, but celibacy is not biblically 00:16:31.460 --> 00:16:35.940 superior to marriage. Nor does this verse contradict 00:16:35.940 --> 00:16:40.269 God's original command at creation. When God 00:16:40.269 --> 00:16:45.669 himself says it is not good for man to be alone. 00:16:46.289 --> 00:16:51.210 Genesis chapter 2 verse 18. So my contention 00:16:51.210 --> 00:16:54.789 here is that Paul in this is not arguing for 00:16:54.789 --> 00:16:58.750 the inherent superiority of singleness. But as 00:16:58.750 --> 00:17:01.850 Wesley states for the prudence of remaining in 00:17:01.850 --> 00:17:05.089 one's current state during difficult times. So 00:17:05.089 --> 00:17:10.220 putting this all together. Does Paul here have 00:17:10.220 --> 00:17:13.779 a low view of marriage? Is this what he is expressing 00:17:13.779 --> 00:17:17.319 here? That it's good for a man not to be married? 00:17:18.519 --> 00:17:22.380 Some argue that. From this passage and from others 00:17:22.380 --> 00:17:25.220 in the chapter that he does. That the best place 00:17:25.220 --> 00:17:29.039 for a Christian is to be single, undistracted 00:17:29.039 --> 00:17:31.480 by the cares of a spouse and the earthiness of 00:17:31.480 --> 00:17:35.460 sexual union. There have been many cultic groups 00:17:35.460 --> 00:17:38.250 who teach this. Where we lived in Pennsylvania, 00:17:38.529 --> 00:17:41.529 there's a museum called the Ephrata Cloister. 00:17:41.710 --> 00:17:44.470 And it was there where, a couple hundred years 00:17:44.470 --> 00:17:47.829 ago, Seventh Day Baptists, so they were Baptist 00:17:47.829 --> 00:17:51.569 Sabbatarians who worshipped only on Saturday. 00:17:52.089 --> 00:17:55.589 And they created some type of a commune there. 00:17:55.750 --> 00:17:57.650 And this is one of the things that they taught. 00:17:58.029 --> 00:18:01.049 So everyone who came and lived there was not 00:18:01.049 --> 00:18:04.430 to be married. Most of them were singles, but 00:18:04.430 --> 00:18:07.269 even the ones who did come, there were some times 00:18:07.269 --> 00:18:09.410 when a wife would come or where a husband would 00:18:09.410 --> 00:18:12.009 come or even when a couple would come, and then 00:18:12.009 --> 00:18:16.150 they had to agree to abstain from any kind of 00:18:16.150 --> 00:18:18.829 sexual relationship because this was ungodly. 00:18:18.829 --> 00:18:22.009 It wasn't right. It's not right to do this. It's 00:18:22.009 --> 00:18:24.849 just a whole kind of weird thing. There are many 00:18:24.849 --> 00:18:28.269 others, and it's often, just as an aside, Cultic 00:18:28.269 --> 00:18:31.789 groups or cults will either go to that side or 00:18:31.789 --> 00:18:34.470 they'll go completely to the other where everything's 00:18:34.470 --> 00:18:37.109 okay. Everyone belongs to everybody else and 00:18:37.109 --> 00:18:38.690 it's a whole thing like that. And there's been 00:18:38.690 --> 00:18:41.930 many like that as well. Anyway, some have taught 00:18:41.930 --> 00:18:45.250 this. There's also a theme that runs. Of course, 00:18:45.250 --> 00:18:47.589 you know, we see the amount of singles that we 00:18:47.589 --> 00:18:51.230 have in the church today at large in the United 00:18:51.230 --> 00:18:53.630 States, and so there's some who try to justify 00:18:53.630 --> 00:18:57.089 that by saying, well, it's really more holy to 00:18:57.089 --> 00:18:59.349 be married, or it's a better thing not to be 00:18:59.349 --> 00:19:01.269 married, or it's because then you can give to 00:19:01.269 --> 00:19:03.670 the Lord, and there's lots of people that can 00:19:03.670 --> 00:19:07.349 have the gift of singleness. I don't think Paul 00:19:07.349 --> 00:19:10.289 is teaching that here, and as you will see as 00:19:10.289 --> 00:19:14.829 I go through this. Paul does not have a low view 00:19:14.829 --> 00:19:18.109 of marriage, nor is it inferior. So consider, 00:19:18.329 --> 00:19:22.309 Paul wrote Ephesians 5, which depicts the beauty 00:19:22.309 --> 00:19:26.829 and mystery of marriage as a picture of Christ 00:19:26.829 --> 00:19:30.049 in the church. He wrote that passage. How could 00:19:30.049 --> 00:19:32.869 he have a low view of marriage? It's impossible. 00:19:33.890 --> 00:19:36.789 Furthermore, in the book of 1 Timothy, three 00:19:36.789 --> 00:19:40.740 times, 1 Timothy 3, Elders and deacons must be 00:19:40.740 --> 00:19:44.019 the husband of one wife. It was, you know, of 00:19:44.019 --> 00:19:47.319 course it was dealing with, was he dealing with 00:19:47.319 --> 00:19:50.640 polygamy or was he dealing with infidelity? There's 00:19:50.640 --> 00:19:52.740 all sorts of things which we went through that 00:19:52.740 --> 00:19:55.940 when I preached through that passage. But the 00:19:55.940 --> 00:19:58.279 whole point here is, if they're married, they 00:19:58.279 --> 00:20:00.380 need to be the husband of one wife. And marriage 00:20:00.380 --> 00:20:03.640 is a good qualification because their children 00:20:03.640 --> 00:20:06.119 are an example of their leadership abilities. 00:20:08.490 --> 00:20:10.990 Paul writes that. He does not have a low view 00:20:10.990 --> 00:20:14.950 of marriage. A chapter later, in 1 Timothy 4, 00:20:15.230 --> 00:20:19.789 verse 3, Paul says, Paul himself, the same writer, 00:20:19.950 --> 00:20:23.809 he says that false teachers give heed to doctrines 00:20:23.809 --> 00:20:28.609 of demons. And what do they do? They forbid to 00:20:28.609 --> 00:20:32.529 marry. It is the doctrine of demons. Here's the 00:20:32.529 --> 00:20:35.099 verse. Now the Spirit expressly says that in 00:20:35.099 --> 00:20:37.599 latter times some will depart from the faith, 00:20:37.720 --> 00:20:40.440 giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines 00:20:40.440 --> 00:20:43.940 of demons, speaking lies and hypocrisy, having 00:20:43.940 --> 00:20:45.960 their own conscience seared with a hot iron, 00:20:46.099 --> 00:20:49.880 forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain 00:20:49.880 --> 00:20:53.180 from foods which God created to be received with 00:20:53.180 --> 00:20:56.319 thanksgiving by those who believe and know the 00:20:56.319 --> 00:21:00.000 truth. A mark of cultish behavior is that they 00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:03.640 mess with biblical doctrine on food, And on sex. 00:21:03.859 --> 00:21:08.259 It happens all the time. Even now. So there again. 00:21:09.380 --> 00:21:11.759 That's the doctrine of demons. To forbid to marry. 00:21:12.019 --> 00:21:15.680 And then finally in 1st Timothy 5 verse 14. Paul 00:21:15.680 --> 00:21:19.799 encourages the younger widows. To marry. He says 00:21:19.799 --> 00:21:23.859 I would. That the younger women. The widows marry. 00:21:24.240 --> 00:21:28.240 Which can also be extrapolated to others. So. 00:21:28.359 --> 00:21:31.220 Paul does not have a low view of marriage. Therefore 00:21:31.220 --> 00:21:34.859 I conclude. That the first or the best and the 00:21:34.859 --> 00:21:37.920 strongest meaning of this verse is that Paul 00:21:37.920 --> 00:21:40.700 is saying it is not good for a man to live in 00:21:40.700 --> 00:21:44.400 sexual union outside of marriage. Then he continues 00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:48.160 right on in verse 2. Nevertheless, because of 00:21:48.160 --> 00:21:52.119 sexual immorality, let each man have his own 00:21:52.119 --> 00:21:55.279 wife and let each woman have her own husband. 00:21:55.420 --> 00:21:58.539 This brings us to our second point. That is the 00:21:58.539 --> 00:22:01.539 necessity and goodness of marriage in light. 00:22:02.279 --> 00:22:06.220 Of immorality. Marriage is the God ordained context. 00:22:06.759 --> 00:22:09.940 For sexual relationships. So the act itself. 00:22:10.380 --> 00:22:14.079 Is good. It is right. It is blessed by God. It 00:22:14.079 --> 00:22:18.900 is ordained by God. Between a husband and a wife. 00:22:19.279 --> 00:22:22.619 Everything outside of that. Is sin. The word 00:22:22.619 --> 00:22:26.700 pornea. It is immorality. Which covers everything. 00:22:26.940 --> 00:22:32.160 That is unlawful. Everything. God created. This 00:22:32.160 --> 00:22:36.680 strong urge and drive. It is part of the original 00:22:36.680 --> 00:22:40.380 dominion mandate given to Adam and Eve in Genesis 00:22:40.380 --> 00:22:43.480 chapter 1 verse 28. What does he tell them? Be 00:22:43.480 --> 00:22:48.579 fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and subdue 00:22:48.579 --> 00:22:50.720 it. How are you going to do that if you don't 00:22:50.720 --> 00:22:53.339 have a relationship together? No. This is part 00:22:53.339 --> 00:22:56.480 of it right there. Again, after Noah came out 00:22:56.480 --> 00:22:59.319 of the ark, the same command was repeated to 00:22:59.319 --> 00:23:02.339 him and to his offspring. Genesis 9 verse 7. 00:23:02.519 --> 00:23:06.720 And as for you, be fruitful and multiply. Bring 00:23:06.720 --> 00:23:10.579 forth abundantly in the earth and multiply in 00:23:10.579 --> 00:23:16.599 it. Excuse me. Why was it not good for man to 00:23:16.599 --> 00:23:18.660 be alone? Well, there's certainly a whole number 00:23:18.660 --> 00:23:20.779 of reasons why it's not good for man to be alone. 00:23:20.880 --> 00:23:24.160 Why man needs a helper who is suitable for him. 00:23:24.720 --> 00:23:27.019 I can sure attest to that, and I think all of 00:23:27.019 --> 00:23:29.660 you here can. There's a lot of reasons why we 00:23:29.660 --> 00:23:35.000 need a wife, men. Yes, but there's a primary 00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:38.200 one that's right here. The first one is that 00:23:38.200 --> 00:23:43.769 he cannot bear any offspring by himself. There 00:23:43.769 --> 00:23:46.890 is no next generation. He must be fruitful and 00:23:46.890 --> 00:23:50.869 multiply and so he needs a wife. God created 00:23:50.869 --> 00:23:53.910 the complementary parts of a man and a woman 00:23:53.910 --> 00:23:57.250 and he gave them the desire within and they come 00:23:57.250 --> 00:24:01.670 together in marriage and sexual union. This intense 00:24:01.670 --> 00:24:05.670 and overpowering desire is found in nearly all 00:24:05.670 --> 00:24:09.349 human beings. Thus if there is no marriage, most 00:24:09.349 --> 00:24:13.619 men and a lot of women will fall into sexual 00:24:13.619 --> 00:24:18.500 immorality if there is no marriage. Paul teaches 00:24:18.500 --> 00:24:22.019 the answer to this problem. Because of sexual 00:24:22.019 --> 00:24:28.039 immorality, let each one, each man, have his 00:24:28.039 --> 00:24:32.960 own wife, and the woman have her own husband. 00:24:33.889 --> 00:24:37.109 To have not only indicates getting married or 00:24:37.109 --> 00:24:39.829 taking a wife but also the regular mutual satisfaction 00:24:39.829 --> 00:24:44.329 of sexual desires. The word own, his own wife 00:24:44.329 --> 00:24:48.390 or her own husband signifies belonging to each 00:24:48.390 --> 00:24:52.650 other and to no one else in the same way. Belonging 00:24:52.650 --> 00:24:57.829 to each other. They are their own, his own wife, 00:24:58.109 --> 00:25:01.490 her own husband. This also by the way speaks. 00:25:02.269 --> 00:25:05.549 of one wife and one husband. This is an emphasis 00:25:05.549 --> 00:25:11.809 both on monogamy and fidelity. Monogamy being 00:25:11.809 --> 00:25:16.450 one man, one woman, not one man, multiple wives, 00:25:16.650 --> 00:25:19.970 or polygamy. Polygamy does not fit with this. 00:25:20.009 --> 00:25:22.690 I think this is an additional New Testament teaching 00:25:22.690 --> 00:25:26.230 on it. Paul teaches this as a practical safeguard 00:25:26.230 --> 00:25:31.849 against the sexual temptations prevalent in Corinth. 00:25:32.269 --> 00:25:34.970 and in every culture. If a husband and wife do 00:25:34.970 --> 00:25:37.170 not come together frequently, the temptation 00:25:37.170 --> 00:25:41.430 becomes very strong. With the abundance of available 00:25:41.430 --> 00:25:44.329 sexual partners, and with the cultural view that 00:25:44.329 --> 00:25:46.970 sex was like any other bodily urge, like hunger 00:25:46.970 --> 00:25:50.990 or thirst, immorality was the norm. The answer 00:25:50.990 --> 00:25:53.569 is certainly self -discipline under the rule 00:25:53.569 --> 00:25:57.309 of Christ in the heart, but it is also the sexual 00:25:57.309 --> 00:26:01.019 relationship between a husband and a wife. Paul's 00:26:01.019 --> 00:26:03.900 going to develop this now in the next few verses. 00:26:04.140 --> 00:26:07.240 Number three, mutual marital duties and authority 00:26:07.240 --> 00:26:10.140 in the marriage bed. These are verses three to 00:26:10.140 --> 00:26:13.289 five. Let the husband render to his wife the 00:26:13.289 --> 00:26:15.990 affection due her, and likewise also the wife 00:26:15.990 --> 00:26:18.369 to her husband. The wife does not have authority 00:26:18.369 --> 00:26:21.349 over her own body, but the husband does. And 00:26:21.349 --> 00:26:23.130 likewise the husband does not have authority 00:26:23.130 --> 00:26:26.470 over his own body, but the wife does. Do not 00:26:26.470 --> 00:26:29.470 deprive one another, except with consent for 00:26:29.470 --> 00:26:32.250 a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting 00:26:32.250 --> 00:26:35.250 and prayer, and come together again, so that 00:26:35.250 --> 00:26:37.369 Satan does not tempt you because of your lack 00:26:37.369 --> 00:26:39.890 of self -control. Let's unpack this a little 00:26:39.890 --> 00:26:44.089 more. First of all, there's mutual sexual obligation 00:26:44.089 --> 00:26:48.589 in marriage. Verse 3. The physical relationship 00:26:48.589 --> 00:26:51.670 in a marriage is not an option. Paul speaks here 00:26:51.670 --> 00:26:55.609 of obligations. That is of duty. A mutual obligation 00:26:55.609 --> 00:26:59.670 and duty to each other. Where husbands and wives 00:26:59.670 --> 00:27:02.329 are to regularly fulfill their responsibilities 00:27:02.329 --> 00:27:06.849 one to another. It's what render means. Render 00:27:06.849 --> 00:27:10.230 the affection due means that you are to deliver. 00:27:10.430 --> 00:27:13.049 You are to discharge what is due. You are to 00:27:13.049 --> 00:27:17.009 give. And the tense is a continuous one. That 00:27:17.009 --> 00:27:21.529 is an ongoing, generous, mutual giving, not merely 00:27:21.529 --> 00:27:25.029 a duty, but also a delight. This rendering the 00:27:25.029 --> 00:27:27.750 affection due is to be done from the husband 00:27:27.750 --> 00:27:31.289 to the wife and from the wife to the husband. 00:27:32.000 --> 00:27:34.960 Now, the immediate context of this verse, though, 00:27:35.079 --> 00:27:39.799 is not procreation. It is not just coming together 00:27:39.799 --> 00:27:43.420 so that you can have children. It is rather affection. 00:27:44.579 --> 00:27:48.799 Affection, also translated as benevolence or 00:27:48.799 --> 00:27:52.559 kindness or goodwill. The word is used elsewhere, 00:27:52.559 --> 00:27:56.160 spoken by Paul to servants. who are in Ephesians 00:27:56.160 --> 00:27:58.559 6, 5, and 8, to do the will of God from the heart 00:27:58.559 --> 00:28:03.140 and with good will doing service. Duties and 00:28:03.140 --> 00:28:06.059 obligations are all throughout life, and we are 00:28:06.059 --> 00:28:08.500 not to do them grudgingly or half -heartedly 00:28:08.500 --> 00:28:12.019 or with clenched teeth or manipulatively, but 00:28:12.019 --> 00:28:15.640 willingly, generously, and with good will toward 00:28:15.640 --> 00:28:19.299 each other. The command here is to give love, 00:28:19.460 --> 00:28:23.039 to give affection, not to command it or demand 00:28:23.039 --> 00:28:27.589 it. It is full of reciprocity, of mutual love 00:28:27.589 --> 00:28:30.670 and satisfaction, caring for one another and 00:28:30.670 --> 00:28:34.569 giving to one another willingly. That's the meaning 00:28:34.569 --> 00:28:38.490 here, to render that which is due. Secondly, 00:28:38.549 --> 00:28:42.210 in verse 4, there is mutual authority over each 00:28:42.210 --> 00:28:45.930 one's body. The wife's body belongs to her husband. 00:28:45.990 --> 00:28:49.109 The husband's body belongs to his wife. This 00:28:49.109 --> 00:28:52.490 is a profound statement of mutual authority. 00:28:52.480 --> 00:28:56.579 This is not just the husband possessing. No, 00:28:56.660 --> 00:29:00.240 it is authority in both the wife and the husband, 00:29:00.279 --> 00:29:03.519 each one over the other one. And so there is 00:29:03.519 --> 00:29:07.519 a mutual belonging. It is a self -giving love 00:29:07.519 --> 00:29:11.759 and it is a rejection of selfish autonomy in 00:29:11.759 --> 00:29:14.539 marriage. I am in my own person. I can do what 00:29:14.539 --> 00:29:18.119 I want. No, if you're a married person, you need 00:29:18.119 --> 00:29:21.740 to do things on the basis for your wife and use 00:29:21.740 --> 00:29:24.579 a wife for your husband. That's what the word 00:29:24.579 --> 00:29:28.160 is saying here. We owe it to each other. And 00:29:28.160 --> 00:29:31.819 in fact, not only do we owe it, we have authority 00:29:31.819 --> 00:29:38.039 over. Now, let's be clear here. The authority 00:29:38.039 --> 00:29:42.779 over each other's body must be exercised with 00:29:42.779 --> 00:29:47.500 love, tenderness, communication, and understanding 00:29:47.500 --> 00:29:51.319 let me repeat that the authority over each other's 00:29:51.319 --> 00:29:55.140 body must be exercised with love with tenderness 00:29:55.140 --> 00:29:58.880 with communication and understanding understanding 00:29:58.880 --> 00:30:02.819 the needs of the other but also considerate of 00:30:02.819 --> 00:30:05.400 the other's exhaustion or the time of the natural 00:30:05.400 --> 00:30:09.039 cycles of the body there are temptations for 00:30:09.039 --> 00:30:12.539 both the wife and the husband as the drive is 00:30:12.539 --> 00:30:15.660 often more intense in the husband He can easily 00:30:15.660 --> 00:30:19.740 be tempted to be controlling or dominating or 00:30:19.740 --> 00:30:23.680 domineering. The wife can easily be tempted to 00:30:23.680 --> 00:30:26.140 use the relationship as a way to manipulate, 00:30:26.220 --> 00:30:29.940 as a reward for good behavior, or to withhold 00:30:29.940 --> 00:30:33.160 because of actions or behavior that she dislikes. 00:30:33.720 --> 00:30:37.420 No, the mutual obligation is not to be used for 00:30:37.420 --> 00:30:40.519 control or manipulation, as it often happens. 00:30:40.559 --> 00:30:42.960 The kind of thing, if you will, well then I will. 00:30:43.309 --> 00:30:44.930 Would you like this? Okay, well, then you do 00:30:44.930 --> 00:30:48.430 this. That kind of thing. No, it's a mutual love 00:30:48.430 --> 00:30:52.950 for one another and a responsibility to each 00:30:52.950 --> 00:30:55.730 other. The other thing that's profound here is 00:30:55.730 --> 00:30:58.710 with the wife having authority over the husband, 00:30:58.869 --> 00:31:01.609 that means that he's also restrained by her. 00:31:01.970 --> 00:31:04.430 Remember, again, the context and culture of the 00:31:04.430 --> 00:31:08.329 day. There was much availability. And with the 00:31:08.329 --> 00:31:10.789 wife's authority over him, she was able to remind 00:31:10.789 --> 00:31:13.529 him, I'm for you and you need to be true to me. 00:31:13.589 --> 00:31:17.170 You can't go do this. There's also that kind 00:31:17.170 --> 00:31:22.890 of thing. So you belong to each other. Now keep 00:31:22.890 --> 00:31:25.829 in mind, the calendar should not be rigid. You 00:31:25.829 --> 00:31:28.410 both need to communicate your needs to each other. 00:31:28.490 --> 00:31:31.950 And you can't forget about grace. You cannot 00:31:31.950 --> 00:31:35.529 forget about grace. These instructions show. 00:31:36.200 --> 00:31:38.960 that husbands and wives should not be prudish 00:31:38.960 --> 00:31:42.160 toward each other, but should be able to communicate 00:31:42.160 --> 00:31:47.759 openly these things, talking about their sexual 00:31:47.759 --> 00:31:53.319 needs and limitations to each other. Then he 00:31:53.319 --> 00:31:57.819 moves on in verse 5 to a warning against deprivation. 00:31:58.319 --> 00:32:03.279 Do not... deprive one another do not deprive 00:32:03.279 --> 00:32:08.720 or defraud is a very strong imperative in the 00:32:08.720 --> 00:32:13.740 greek it's like this stop doing it stop depriving 00:32:13.740 --> 00:32:18.539 each other stop it that's how strong it is some 00:32:18.539 --> 00:32:21.400 couples were already withholding for ascetic 00:32:21.400 --> 00:32:23.700 reasons saying no it's more spiritual not to 00:32:23.700 --> 00:32:26.380 so we need to do that and using that control 00:32:26.380 --> 00:32:30.240 or others or Some were doing it in immorality 00:32:30.240 --> 00:32:34.519 with others. Stop doing it. The verb translated 00:32:34.519 --> 00:32:38.299 deprive usually means to cause another to suffer 00:32:38.299 --> 00:32:42.220 loss by taking away through illicit means. It 00:32:42.220 --> 00:32:46.400 is translated to rob, to steal, to despoil, or 00:32:46.400 --> 00:32:49.960 to defraud. It is used in James to describe the 00:32:49.960 --> 00:32:52.980 withholding of wages due to the hired man. And 00:32:52.980 --> 00:32:56.720 it's completely condemned in scripture. So to 00:32:56.720 --> 00:32:58.960 withhold the marriage relationship from each 00:32:58.960 --> 00:33:01.819 other in marriage or to use it to control or 00:33:01.819 --> 00:33:05.180 manipulate is to go against a very clear command 00:33:05.180 --> 00:33:08.859 of God. He says, stop doing it. Do not do this. 00:33:09.480 --> 00:33:14.599 Now, just as a side note, if you're in a troubled 00:33:14.599 --> 00:33:18.019 situation or a difficult one, if one or the other 00:33:18.019 --> 00:33:22.359 is withholding against the commands of God. That 00:33:22.359 --> 00:33:24.680 is no excuse for the other to find fulfillment 00:33:24.680 --> 00:33:28.980 elsewhere. There's no excuse for that. God's 00:33:28.980 --> 00:33:31.500 word does not give license to say, well, my wife's 00:33:31.500 --> 00:33:33.299 not meeting my needs, so that gives me the freedom 00:33:33.299 --> 00:33:35.460 to go out and do this and find someone else. 00:33:35.680 --> 00:33:38.559 Though it can be very difficult, self -control 00:33:38.559 --> 00:33:41.900 is still required, and God grants grace and ability 00:33:41.900 --> 00:33:44.680 for that. Self -control is one of the fruits 00:33:44.680 --> 00:33:48.700 of the Spirit. Moving back, this mutual bond 00:33:48.700 --> 00:33:52.190 is deep and powerful. Husbands, study your wife. 00:33:52.349 --> 00:33:55.049 Learn to meet her needs and how to physically 00:33:55.049 --> 00:33:58.589 satisfy her. Wives, recognize your husband's 00:33:58.589 --> 00:34:01.250 frequent need for intimacy to maintain the bond. 00:34:01.630 --> 00:34:04.529 Defrauding each other or one another greatly 00:34:04.529 --> 00:34:09.050 increases temptation to sin because God designed 00:34:09.050 --> 00:34:13.829 us as sexual beings. That is not crass. That 00:34:13.829 --> 00:34:19.460 is not weird. No, God designed it that way. It 00:34:19.460 --> 00:34:24.260 is by creation. Violating this command has destroyed 00:34:24.260 --> 00:34:28.579 many marriages and destroyed the bond that happens 00:34:28.579 --> 00:34:33.599 as married couples come together. Now the apostle 00:34:33.599 --> 00:34:39.619 then goes on to grant one exception to this obligation 00:34:39.619 --> 00:34:43.420 and duty. And this is if by mutual agreement 00:34:43.420 --> 00:34:46.880 for a limited time. Since the authority over 00:34:46.880 --> 00:34:49.739 the wife's body belongs to the husband and the 00:34:49.739 --> 00:34:51.900 authority over the husband's body belongs to 00:34:51.900 --> 00:34:55.119 the wife, then the decision to abstain may not 00:34:55.119 --> 00:34:59.960 be made only by the one. It may not be. It must 00:34:59.960 --> 00:35:03.960 be an agreed upon decision by both. Perhaps the 00:35:03.960 --> 00:35:07.840 couple determines to fast or to pray regarding 00:35:07.840 --> 00:35:11.360 something and they choose together to fast in 00:35:11.360 --> 00:35:15.389 this area also. This could be a time of focused 00:35:15.389 --> 00:35:19.369 prayer and fasting. Temporary abstinence is permitted 00:35:19.369 --> 00:35:23.110 only under these four criteria. Number one, mutual 00:35:23.110 --> 00:35:26.769 consent. Number two, for a specific stated time. 00:35:26.929 --> 00:35:30.230 Number three, for a God -honoring purpose. And 00:35:30.230 --> 00:35:33.010 number four, with a clear plan to resume relations 00:35:33.010 --> 00:35:36.789 later or afterward. Those four, they're right 00:35:36.789 --> 00:35:40.550 here, four criteria. Now, Paul gives this one. 00:35:40.969 --> 00:35:44.090 Are there other exceptions? Is there a possibility 00:35:44.090 --> 00:35:47.869 that there are? We do find a few others in the 00:35:47.869 --> 00:35:51.010 Bible and also in practically speaking. For example, 00:35:51.230 --> 00:35:54.550 Leviticus 12 in the ceremonial law gives a certain 00:35:54.550 --> 00:35:56.949 time period after the birth of a son and of a 00:35:56.949 --> 00:36:00.309 daughter where there is not a coming together. 00:36:01.119 --> 00:36:02.760 Of course, that can also be for health reasons, 00:36:02.880 --> 00:36:06.380 but I think there was also a ceremonial aspect 00:36:06.380 --> 00:36:09.659 there as well as the purification of the blood 00:36:09.659 --> 00:36:12.199 that Leviticus 12 goes into. I'm not going to 00:36:12.199 --> 00:36:14.380 get into it today. I'm just putting it there 00:36:14.380 --> 00:36:17.099 that that was part of it. It was also understood 00:36:17.099 --> 00:36:19.820 in the time of war when men go away to battle 00:36:19.820 --> 00:36:24.619 or travel, go to sea for an extended time. Notably, 00:36:24.780 --> 00:36:29.099 it was set forth that any man who... who wanted 00:36:29.099 --> 00:36:32.519 to go home to his wife instead of going to battle 00:36:32.519 --> 00:36:36.139 was allowed to choose to do so. It was not forced 00:36:36.139 --> 00:36:40.619 conscription in the army throughout all of the 00:36:40.619 --> 00:36:43.980 Old Testament. It was designed where they were 00:36:43.980 --> 00:36:46.079 allowed. If they wanted to go home, they could. 00:36:50.119 --> 00:36:52.960 In each of these cases, though, these four criteria 00:36:52.960 --> 00:36:56.280 should be met. Mutual consent for a specified 00:36:56.280 --> 00:36:58.829 and stated time. for a God -honoring purpose, 00:36:58.909 --> 00:37:01.730 and with a clear plan to resume relations afterward. 00:37:02.309 --> 00:37:04.769 Husbands, I'm going to say this. The husband 00:37:04.769 --> 00:37:07.869 should not make extended travel plans without 00:37:07.869 --> 00:37:11.989 the consent of the wife. I think that's one of 00:37:11.989 --> 00:37:13.769 the things that we can draw from this that's 00:37:13.769 --> 00:37:16.590 pretty clear. And that's, I say, extended for 00:37:16.590 --> 00:37:21.159 a longer time. Paul speaks of the danger of prolonged 00:37:21.159 --> 00:37:24.480 deprivation, and he tells married couples to 00:37:24.480 --> 00:37:27.360 come together again, that is to have ongoing 00:37:27.360 --> 00:37:32.699 intimacy so that Satan does not tempt you. This 00:37:32.699 --> 00:37:35.800 is to drink from your own cistern, as Proverbs 00:37:35.800 --> 00:37:40.360 5 speaks. Why is this? Because Satan exploits 00:37:40.360 --> 00:37:44.179 lack of self -control and provides many temptations 00:37:44.179 --> 00:37:48.780 to immorality. This is the warning that he gives 00:37:48.780 --> 00:37:53.519 here in verse 5. That Satan does not tempt you 00:37:53.519 --> 00:37:57.539 because of your lack of self -control. Number 00:37:57.539 --> 00:38:02.179 4 then, he deals with a concession. A concession 00:38:02.179 --> 00:38:05.159 regarding abstinence, singleness, and self -control. 00:38:05.179 --> 00:38:08.199 Verses 6 to 9. And this will be the last major 00:38:08.199 --> 00:38:11.320 point. I say this, he says, as a concession, 00:38:11.360 --> 00:38:14.289 not as a commandment. For I wish that all men 00:38:14.289 --> 00:38:17.570 were even as I myself. But each one has his own 00:38:17.570 --> 00:38:19.829 gift from God, one in this manner and another 00:38:19.829 --> 00:38:22.690 in that. But I say to the married and to the 00:38:22.690 --> 00:38:25.650 widows, it is good for them if they remain even 00:38:25.650 --> 00:38:29.050 as I am. But if they cannot exercise self -control, 00:38:29.269 --> 00:38:31.949 let them marry. For it is better to marry than 00:38:31.949 --> 00:38:35.730 to burn with passion. Now again here we're getting 00:38:35.730 --> 00:38:38.050 into some things and tenses like, okay, what 00:38:38.050 --> 00:38:41.170 exactly is the apostle trying to bring home here 00:38:41.170 --> 00:38:44.070 to us? I'll give you some things, but obviously 00:38:44.070 --> 00:38:47.070 I may not be completely comprehensive. There's 00:38:47.070 --> 00:38:50.210 a lot in here. First of all, he says, but I say 00:38:50.210 --> 00:38:53.989 this as a concession, not as a command. To what 00:38:53.989 --> 00:38:57.369 is Paul conceding and not commanding? Is it the 00:38:57.369 --> 00:38:59.809 whole idea of marriage and for the possibility 00:38:59.809 --> 00:39:02.989 of living a single life? Is that what he's saying 00:39:02.989 --> 00:39:05.489 here? I'm giving all of this in this passage 00:39:05.489 --> 00:39:09.530 just by concession? I don't think so. Certainly 00:39:09.530 --> 00:39:12.050 where he says, do not deprive one another. That 00:39:12.050 --> 00:39:15.510 is not conciliatory speech. It's command. Don't 00:39:15.510 --> 00:39:18.909 do this. So I don't think he's conceding this. 00:39:19.929 --> 00:39:22.730 I think rather that he's giving a concession 00:39:22.730 --> 00:39:25.570 on the possibility of temporary abstinence in 00:39:25.570 --> 00:39:28.849 verse 5. This might be an acknowledgement to 00:39:28.849 --> 00:39:32.050 the ascetics that it would be okay to defer relations 00:39:32.050 --> 00:39:35.010 for a time of spiritual renewal or prayer and 00:39:35.010 --> 00:39:37.590 fasting, but only for a time. In other words, 00:39:37.630 --> 00:39:40.510 he gives permission to cease from obeying his 00:39:40.510 --> 00:39:43.150 commands in verses two to five, but only on a 00:39:43.150 --> 00:39:46.769 temporary basis. I think that might be what he 00:39:46.769 --> 00:39:49.369 is saying there. I speak this as a concession. 00:39:49.750 --> 00:39:51.809 Then he goes on and says, for I wish that all 00:39:51.809 --> 00:39:55.469 men were even as myself. All right. Now we know 00:39:55.469 --> 00:39:57.690 that Paul was unmarried, that he was celibate. 00:39:58.110 --> 00:40:00.170 Although he may have been married at one time, 00:40:00.210 --> 00:40:02.730 there is some conjecture about that. So is Paul 00:40:02.730 --> 00:40:04.769 saying here that I wish that all people would 00:40:04.769 --> 00:40:08.230 be unmarried? I don't think so. This interpretation 00:40:08.230 --> 00:40:11.769 goes against many other scriptures. Alfred Barnes 00:40:11.769 --> 00:40:13.750 put it in a way that I think is really good. 00:40:13.829 --> 00:40:16.710 He says that Paul was unmarried is evident from 00:40:16.710 --> 00:40:19.610 1 Corinthians 9 verse 5. But he does not refer 00:40:19.610 --> 00:40:22.809 to this fact here. While he wishes that all people 00:40:22.809 --> 00:40:25.789 were like himself, he evidently does not intend 00:40:25.789 --> 00:40:28.150 that he would prefer that all should be unmarried. 00:40:28.150 --> 00:40:30.349 For this would be against the divine institution 00:40:30.349 --> 00:40:34.940 and against his own precepts elsewhere. He would 00:40:34.940 --> 00:40:38.380 be glad if all people had control over their 00:40:38.380 --> 00:40:42.179 passions and propensities as he had. Had the 00:40:42.179 --> 00:40:45.039 gift of continence and could abstain from marriage 00:40:45.039 --> 00:40:47.940 when circumstances of trial, etc. would make 00:40:47.940 --> 00:40:51.739 it proper. End quote. I think what he's saying 00:40:51.739 --> 00:40:55.179 here is, I wish that all could be self -controlled 00:40:55.179 --> 00:40:59.139 as I am. I believe that is what he is saying, 00:40:59.199 --> 00:41:02.500 that all men were as myself. Paul's wish is that 00:41:02.500 --> 00:41:05.699 each person would be content with their own station 00:41:05.699 --> 00:41:07.940 in life. That is that they would have the gift 00:41:07.940 --> 00:41:11.739 of contentedness from God. Some have the gift 00:41:11.739 --> 00:41:14.400 of celibacy and singleness. And there are certain 00:41:14.400 --> 00:41:17.099 advantages that come with that gift in the service 00:41:17.099 --> 00:41:20.719 of Christ. Especially in difficult circumstances. 00:41:21.380 --> 00:41:24.199 Others have the gift of marriage. They should 00:41:24.199 --> 00:41:27.360 be content with that. Paul was gifted with confidence, 00:41:27.519 --> 00:41:30.019 with self -control. He was able to go on those 00:41:30.019 --> 00:41:32.719 long missionary journeys in a way that would 00:41:32.719 --> 00:41:35.880 have been impossible if accompanied by his wife. 00:41:36.239 --> 00:41:39.400 Hear this long list of what he gives in 2 Corinthians 00:41:39.400 --> 00:41:42.960 11 verse 24. And imagine how this would be if 00:41:42.960 --> 00:41:45.599 he had a wife to care for during this time. Here's 00:41:45.599 --> 00:41:48.320 what he said. For from the Jews five times I 00:41:48.320 --> 00:41:51.300 received forty stripes minus one. Three times 00:41:51.300 --> 00:41:54.980 I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three 00:41:54.980 --> 00:41:57.800 times I was shipwrecked. A night and a day I 00:41:57.800 --> 00:42:00.679 have been in the deep. In journeys often. In 00:42:00.679 --> 00:42:04.860 perils of waters. In perils of robbers. In perils 00:42:04.860 --> 00:42:08.000 of my own countrymen. In perils of the Gentiles. 00:42:08.019 --> 00:42:10.880 In perils of the city. In perils in the wilderness. 00:42:11.219 --> 00:42:14.719 In perils in the sea. In perils among false brethren. 00:42:15.309 --> 00:42:18.769 in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, 00:42:18.929 --> 00:42:23.289 in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold 00:42:23.289 --> 00:42:26.730 and nakedness, besides the other things, what 00:42:26.730 --> 00:42:30.050 comes upon me daily, my deep concern for all 00:42:30.050 --> 00:42:34.550 the churches. Now imagine the difficulty of caring 00:42:34.550 --> 00:42:37.929 for and maintaining a wife in those circumstances. 00:42:38.550 --> 00:42:43.019 Practically impossible. And Paul was content 00:42:43.019 --> 00:42:48.960 in his calling. And thus he refers, I wish that 00:42:48.960 --> 00:42:52.960 all men were even as myself. To the unmarried 00:42:52.960 --> 00:42:55.639 and widows, he says it is good for them if they 00:42:55.639 --> 00:42:59.400 remain even as I am. In verse 8, the unmarried 00:42:59.400 --> 00:43:01.900 and widows, Paul mentions, may include widowers 00:43:01.900 --> 00:43:06.639 as the Greek term is masculine and lacked a specific 00:43:06.639 --> 00:43:10.559 word for widower or was used very seldom. So 00:43:10.559 --> 00:43:13.199 it's probably referring here to both widows and 00:43:13.199 --> 00:43:17.539 widowers. Again, he is urging contentedness in 00:43:17.539 --> 00:43:20.400 their single life, but as he states in verse 00:43:20.400 --> 00:43:24.059 9, if they cannot exercise self -control, let 00:43:24.059 --> 00:43:26.840 them marry, for it is better to marry than to 00:43:26.840 --> 00:43:30.159 burn with passion. This is realistic pastoral 00:43:30.159 --> 00:43:33.800 counsel. Yes, self -control is great, but it's 00:43:33.800 --> 00:43:36.460 better to marry honorably than to be consumed 00:43:36.460 --> 00:43:42.289 by uncontrolled lust, on fire with passion. And 00:43:42.289 --> 00:43:45.449 this is a good word for us to apply in various 00:43:45.449 --> 00:43:49.670 ways. Finally then, let's look at a few applications. 00:43:50.530 --> 00:43:54.630 Number one, marriage is a legitimate and good 00:43:54.630 --> 00:43:57.690 outlet for sexual desire and it is a profound 00:43:57.690 --> 00:44:01.010 covenant that reflects the gospel. It reflects 00:44:01.010 --> 00:44:05.130 the gospel and it reflects the church of Jesus 00:44:05.130 --> 00:44:09.010 Christ. It is a picture of that. It is the normal 00:44:09.010 --> 00:44:12.610 way for a man and a woman to live and God blesses 00:44:12.610 --> 00:44:16.730 it. Second, if you are a young single person, 00:44:16.829 --> 00:44:22.650 pray for a wife or a husband. Unless you have 00:44:22.650 --> 00:44:26.409 a clear sense and contentment that God is calling 00:44:26.409 --> 00:44:31.230 you to live a single life for his glory. Otherwise, 00:44:31.289 --> 00:44:34.449 pray. Pray that God would lead you to a wife. 00:44:34.840 --> 00:44:37.860 or to a husband. Prepare yourself in the worship 00:44:37.860 --> 00:44:41.199 of God and in self -discipline and pray that 00:44:41.199 --> 00:44:44.039 God would sovereignly bring you to that person. 00:44:44.280 --> 00:44:47.960 If you're a man, actively seek a wife unless 00:44:47.960 --> 00:44:50.820 there's a present distress, as Paul writes later 00:44:50.820 --> 00:44:54.940 in the chapter in verses 26 and 27. Third, if 00:44:54.940 --> 00:44:57.980 you're a widow or widower, be content with your 00:44:57.980 --> 00:45:00.880 station in life, but open to the possibilities 00:45:00.880 --> 00:45:04.489 that might come. However, if you're a young widow, 00:45:04.730 --> 00:45:08.190 Paul's counsel is this in 1 Timothy 5 verse 14. 00:45:08.510 --> 00:45:11.510 Therefore, I desire that the younger widows marry, 00:45:11.809 --> 00:45:15.030 bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity 00:45:15.030 --> 00:45:18.869 to the adversary to speak reproachfully. Whether 00:45:18.869 --> 00:45:22.210 single or married, our calling, brothers and 00:45:22.210 --> 00:45:26.010 sisters, is to holiness. It is to self -control. 00:45:26.269 --> 00:45:32.440 It is to faithfulness in marriage. Actually, 00:45:32.440 --> 00:45:35.960 faithfulness to God's design, whether single 00:45:35.960 --> 00:45:40.119 or married. So let us then pursue purity. Let 00:45:40.119 --> 00:45:43.519 us honor the marriage bed. Let us glorify God 00:45:43.519 --> 00:45:48.579 with our bodies because our bodies are a temple 00:45:48.579 --> 00:45:54.179 of the Holy Spirit who is in you and you are 00:45:54.179 --> 00:45:57.599 not your own. Let's pray.