We are continuing today in our series on marriage.
We've been looking, we've looked at God's, the
creation of marriage and God's purposes for marriage.
And then we spent two sermons in looking at the
husband's part. And now today we want to look
at the wife's part. That is wives of virtue and
honor. We're going to be reading from a few passages
of Scripture this morning. We're going to begin
in Proverbs chapter 31, reading from verse 10
through 31, and then we'll move over to the book
of Ephesians chapter 5. Hear the word of the
Lord. Who can find a virtuous woman, for her
worth is far above rubies? The heart of her husband
safely trusts in her, so he will have no lack
of gain. She does him good and not evil all the
days of her life. She seeks wool and flax and
willingly works with her hands. She is like the
merchant ship. She brings her food from afar.
She also rises while it is yet night and provides
food for her household and a portion for her
maidens. She considers a field and buys it. From
her profits, she plants a vineyard. She girds
herself with strength and strengthens her arm.
She perceives that her merchandise is good and
her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches
out her hands to the distaff and her hand holds
the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor.
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household is clothed with scarlet.
She makes tapestry for herself. Her clothing
is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known
in the gates. When he sits among the elders of
the land, she makes linen garments and sells
them and supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength
and honor are her clothing. She shall rejoice
in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom
and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She
watches over the ways of her household and does
not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise
up and call her blessed. Her husband also, and
he praises her. Many daughters have done well,
but you excel them all. Charm is deceitful and
beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the
Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit
of her hands and let her own works praise her.
in the gates. Now let's turn over to the book
of Ephesians chapter 5 verses 22 through 24 and
verse 33. Wives submit to your own husbands as
to the Lord for the husband is head of the wife
as also Christ is head of the church and he is
the savior of the body. Therefore, just as the
church is subject to Christ, so let the wives
be to their own husbands in everything. Nevertheless,
let each one of you in particular so love his
wife as himself, and the wife see that she respects
her husband. Let's pray and ask God's blessing
on this time in the word. Our Father, we look
to you today. We pray, dear Father, that you
would give us wisdom and insight into the married
state. Lord, I pray that today, especially as
we look at your word regarding wives, I pray
that you would give insight and understanding.
Help me, Lord, to faithfully exposit your word
and to teach it, that it is proper and appropriate.
And I pray that you would open up all the hearts
to hear and to understand. Let us see from you
and hear from you, O God, today. We pray this
in Jesus' name. Amen. In our study of marriage,
I have spent a good bit of time looking at the
husband's part in the marriage relationship.
Because he has been created as the head of the
wife, even as Christ is the head of the church,
the husband bears the great and greater responsibility
of ensuring that the marriage is a true and proper
representation of the mystery of Christ and the
church. We reviewed the scriptures in a detailed
manner on how he is to lead, how he is to conduct
himself, and how he is to treat his wife as a
fellow heir of the grace of life. How he is to
live with her in an understanding way, but at
the same time to lead her with honor. Today,
I turn to some of the scriptures that are spoken
to wives. Knowing that the commandments and the
examples that God gave are at such odds with
the prevailing understanding and practice of
the world, I want to carefully review the biblical
household code for wives. Household codes are
the instructions that are given to various components
of a household, husband, wife, children, fathers
and mothers, servants and masters, and they're
found in various places in the scriptures. God
is so created that this is the way the world
works. But we want to have a good and a proper
understanding of it and not live by caricatures
of either the past or the present. Just as I
mentioned last week, in the time of Luther and
the early Reformation, wife -beating was considered
by many to be normal and permissible. And it
was the reformers who spoke out against such
practices and began restoring a biblical understanding
of marriage. The society then had many wrong
misconceptions of the marriage relationship and
so does ours. In a similar way to that time,
we see both sides of the road. We see wrong and
abusive marriage relationships. Ones that demean
and exploit, that shame and degrade wives to
the level of a slave, creating impossible demands
physically, emotionally, and sexually. Islam
teaches and practices this in a horrific and
dehumanizing way. And abundant examples can be
viewed on YouTube and other places, and it is
very shameful. Some self -styled men who call
themselves patriarchal also act in a very shameful
and abusive way, and these also need to be called
out and even disciplined by the church. This
is not the biblical picture of patriarchy. It
is not according to the household codes, and
it is twisted and evil. But on the other hand,
or on the other ditch of the road, we might say,
there are many who also then shun the words submission,
hierarchy, household codes, or headship, embracing
what is called egalitarianism, which is the belief
that men and women are equal in all aspects of
life, including spiritual leadership roles. This
teaching teaches that a person's sex does not
guide or limit a person's gifts, calling, or
responsibilities in ministry, in leadership,
or in the home, and thus all are equally capable
of holding positions in spiritual authority,
such as being a pastor or elder, and that both
marriage partners must mutually submit and defer
to the other. Now, there's a number of denominations
that teach and practice this. Some of them are
more well -known to us, such as Assemblies of
God or Church of the Nazarene or Vineyard Fellowship
or the PCUSA, Presbyterians, and there's others.
Now, indeed, we are all one in Christ. As Paul
says in Galatians chapter 3, verse 28 and 29,
there is neither Jew nor Greek. There is neither
slave nor free. There is neither male nor female.
For you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you
are Christ, then you are Abraham's seed and heirs
according to the promise. And this is for all
men, women, wives, husbands, children, all who
are in Christ. We are heirs according to the
promise of God. But this unity does not erase
the fact that there still are distinctions. There
are still Jews. And there are Greeks or Gentiles.
There are those who are slaves and those who
are free. And there are men and there are women.
All are human beings created in the image of
God, but there are distinctions. And the scriptures,
while affirming our unity and our oneness in
Christ, speaks to those distinctions. The instructions
given to wives are both alike. That is, we are
all as one. Male and female, we are all to stand
in the faith. We're to love God with our heart
and soul and mind and strength. And we're to
love our neighbor as ourself and many, many other
commands that apply to us in the same way. But
there are also differences. The older men are
counseled in one way, the older women in another.
Man is created as a leader, woman as his helper.
He is like, as Ephesians 5 brings out, he is
the head, like Christ is the head of the church.
And the wife is to submit to him as the church
submits to Christ. Man is the glory of God, and
woman is the glory of man, 1 Corinthians chapter
11. We can no more erase these distinctions than
we can turn ourselves into the opposite sex or
change the color of our skin. In other words,
this is a matter of creation. So in order for
marriage to properly illustrate Christ in the
church, we must understand what our calling and
our responsibilities are. I have sought to do
that clearly and plainly with husbands, and today
we turn to wives. One more thing in the introduction
here. If we are to fully understand the teachings
of the apostles Paul and Peter, which we're going
to be looking at today, we must look at what
undergirds and supports their teaching from the
Old Testament. This is why I chose to read Proverbs
chapter 31. For these do not contradict one another,
but they together are a revelation of the triune
God to his people. I know of no better summary
for a wife than that of Proverbs 31. It is comprehensive.
It is clear. And we're going to look at it a
little bit more in an overview next. So we'll
look at Proverbs 31 and then move to Ephesians
5 and end in 1 Peter chapter 3. So number one,
a wife is to be a woman of virtue who does her
husband good all the days of her life. This passage
on a virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 is a great
exposition about a faithful wife who runs her
household and is trusted by her husband. The
key verse to this passage is verse 12. She does
him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Therefore, ladies, this passage undergirds the
teachings of Paul and Peter. She, under the authority
of her husband, is a capable manager of the household.
Just as Paul describes in 1 Timothy chapter 5
and verse 14 when he says, Therefore, I desire
that the younger widows marry. bear children,
and manage the house. The word manage there in
managing the house is the Greek word oikodespoteo,
which means to rule a household and to manage
family affairs. When the apostles wrote these
admonitions, the examples of the women of old
and this passage were in view. They were the
inscripturated word at that time. And so these
were in view as they wrote about the household
codes. Now, let me say that some look at this
passage in Proverbs 31 as this is a superwoman.
I mean, who can do this really in one person?
This is an unattainable ideal woman that's very
difficult to emulate, one who's admired from
afar but impossible to live out. It is given
in poetic form. It actually is given as an acrostic
for the Hebrew language where every verse begins
starting at the first going all the way to the
last letter of the alphabet. But this passage
is descriptive of a wife of virtue who is entrusted
by her husband who is in submission to him but
is also responsibly managing her household. Now,
one other thing before we consider the content.
Remember that most middle and upper class women
who had prominent households like this had servants.
They had servants. In fact, many of them had
a number of them. So the only way that she was
able to accomplish all that was given in that
passage was having servants. So keep that in
mind. Now, we're also thankful for labor -saving
devices. They help. But servants were also very
helpful in a whole number of ways. We know this
because they're referenced in Proverbs 31 and
verse 15. So do not be overwhelmed by, but look
at the overarching theme of this in the scripture
because it is given to all wives. The passage
begins with the question, who can find a virtuous
woman for her price is far above rubies? Verses
10 to 33 are an acrostic, as I mentioned, and
her character is one that is virtuous. Now, when
we think of virtue, we usually think of someone
that's really good or someone that's pure. that
is really attentive to God's word and to his
law. Well, whereas all of that is contained in
this passage, that's actually not what this word
means. This word in many places is used as army.
It is a woman of valor, a woman of strength.
a woman of great character and industry. That's
what the word virtuous means here. She is a woman
of valor, of power, and of strength. And as such,
she is invaluable. Her price is far above rubies.
Verses 13 to 27 speak of how she performs her
duties and what her duties are. And some of those
duties will vary. For example, we can't necessarily
relate about that she is up at night sewing and
that all of her children are clothed with scarlet.
Now, that was really fine cloth. But when looking
at it, we understand, okay, she clothes her children
well. She does well by them. She's making sure
that they're properly clothed. So as we read
it, let's not interpret it woodenly. Okay, they
were all of you come in with all of your children
dressed in scarlet clothes next Sunday. That's
not what we're referring to. But it's simply
being that she cares about her children. It means
that she cares about her children and that they
are clothed well. So as you study the passage,
you can understand and look at the meaning behind
the description that is given. She is industrious.
She takes what is given to her and manages it
well with her resources, her time, and it includes
charity to others. In many ways, the description
given here is reflected in the teaching of 1
Timothy 2 verses 9 and 10 and 1 Peter 3. Verses
1 through 6, whereupon the duties that are described
there line up with the descriptions here in this
passage. In other words, the descriptions about
a faithful wife are very, very similar in the
various passages. Furthermore, she is a woman
of spirit, but she has the command of her own
spirit and she knows how to manage other people.
She is one who fears the Lord and a good helpmate
for her husband. Because of her faithful and
capable management of the household, her husband
is to fulfill his duties, which in this case
is that he was able to serve the community by
sitting in the gates. Now, this was not sitting
lazily in the gates, just frittering time away.
It was the gates were the seat of rule and authority
in the land. In other words, he was taking his
place with the elders in the land. And so because
of the capability of his wife and managing the
household, he was able to serve the Lord and
serve his community as an elder or a legislator.
He was able to lead well because of this. Now
this description is also a testament to the faithfulness
and godliness of her husband because her husband
trusts her. And that shows us that in a well
-run household, the husband is not micromanaging.
He's not being tight -fisted or tyrannical. And
the wife is not quarrelsome or lazy or careless
with what has been entrusted to her. She watches
over the household. She speaks words of wisdom.
She sees that the needs of her family and her
household are met. And she fears the Lord. A
woman like this. End of Proverbs 31 says, she
is to be praised. So we see all that this woman
is, and yet she is one under the authority of
her husband. She is submitted to him as her head.
But this submission is more like a lieutenant
general to a general in the army. She still has
a lot of responsibility. She's responsible for
the household. And yet she serves under the general
overall, that is her husband. We'll come back
to this in a bit. That's just a quick overview
of Proverbs 31. But I wanted to show how that
that needs to be understood for when we look
at what is taught in the New Testament. And so
now we're going to turn to Ephesians chapter
5. In Ephesians 5. We have a discourse on marriage
that begins in verse 22 and goes all the way
down to 33. We've looked quite extensively at
this in the part relating to the husbands, especially
verse 23 and verses 25 to 32. We saw how that
marriage is a picture of Christ and the church,
and that there have been many different parallels.
For example, the husband is the head of the wife,
just as Christ is the head of the church. That's
one parallel. And there are a number of parallels
in this that we looked at previously. But today,
the last parallel is this one. Wives, submit
to your own husbands as to the Lord. Therefore,
just as the church is subject to Christ, so let
the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Now, just a quick note here. This passage is
not commanding all women to be in subjection
or submissive to all men. I just want to get
that very clear right from the beginning. It's
mentioned right here. The wife is to be in submission
to her own husband. I want that to be very, very
clear. So let's look first of all at what is
the meaning of the word submit or subjection
to. It's one word. It's called hupotasso. It
means these things, to arrange under, to subordinate,
to yield to one's admonition or advice, and to
obey or to be subject. Let's look how this word
is used in the New Testament. The word is used
of Jesus in submitting to his parents after he
returned from the temple when he was 12 years
old in Luke 2, verse 51. It is the same word
that is used in Romans chapter 13 verse 1 and
in Titus 3 verse 1 that we are to be subject
to the governing authorities. So that's referring
there to civil government. Same word. We are
to be subject to the governing authorities. In
1 Peter 5 verse 5, he commands them there that
the younger are to be subject to the elder. In
other words, if there's older men, they're to
be looked up to and revered as being wise, and
so they're to be subject to them. In 1 Peter
2, verse 18, servants are to submit to their
masters. And in 1 Peter 3, verse 22, angels,
authorities, and powers have been made subject
to Christ. They are in submission to him. So
this is a widely used term and it is clearly
understood as to what it means. I mean, we can
work through application of it and how it works
out. But if you look at all of those different
things, they're generally meaning the very same
type of submission to an authority that is over
them. By the way, also to, again, to men, and
I spoke about this, we men are to be submitted
to Christ. He is our head and we must, Yield
to him in the governing that we do. It's very
important as well. Now, some say, and we'll get
into this a little bit more in just a bit, but
some say, well, this can't really mean that wives
are to submit as in all of these other things.
Somehow, the head is trying to be reinterpreted.
And one of the ways that they... teach this is
to go back to verse 21 of chapter 5 in which
says that we are all to submit to one another
in the fear of God and so submitting to one another
in the fear of God sometimes called mutual submission
means that everyone is submitted to each other
and therefore there's no head no no order of
authority we're all to submit to each other mutual
submission but this passage Why would Paul mean
that and then go on and give all sorts of examples
of how this is to actually work out? Continuing
in chapter 6, dealing with children and servants
and masters and fathers. He deals with them all.
So rather I think that Ephesians 5 .21 does not
take away from the instructions that follow,
but rather the next verses in chapter 5 and the
first 9 of Ephesians 6 illustrate how this submission
to one another works out. Because it works out
in various ways, and yet all together we are
submitting to one another in the fear of God.
So wives, the submission of the church to Christ
is your example of how your relationship with
your husband is to be. Therefore, as the church
submits itself to her head, Jesus Christ, so
you and your marriage are to relate to your head,
your husband. Now, we as Christians are all united
in Christ. As we've spoken, there's no longer
Jew or Gentile, male and female, slave nor free,
because we're all one in Christ. This truth does
not erase the distinctions, but rather frames
them. As we are all united together in Christ
as one body, but we have different gifts and
different functions, and we operate with those
that are given to us, so also there are still
different bodies, natures, responsibilities,
and roles. This does not destroy the unity that
we have in Christ, but it does establish boundaries.
Man and woman in Christ are one in Him, and yet
distinct. individuals man and woman in marriage
are one in covenant and one flesh and yet they
are still distinct individuals they have different
gifts they have different abilities no matter
how much he might try a man can never bear a
child there are some things that men simply cannot
do they are They are in the realm and the gifting
that God has given to women. There is a distinction
even though we are one in covenant and one flesh.
God created man to lead, to rule, to have a mission,
and to take a wife who can help him because,
as God said, it is not good. for man to be alone.
Together, they take dominion onto the earth,
they execute the mission that God has given to
them, and they build a household. God made woman
to be his helper, to respect him, to support
and sustain him, to bear children and to nurture
them, and to manage the household which they
are building together, man and woman together
in Christ. And in order that that household be
built well and last, there must be a head and
there must be one who helps him, who aids him
and submits to his headship, just as we are workers
together with Christ, 2 Corinthians 6, 1, and
at the same time, he is our head and we submit
to him. Understanding this in the context of
marriage, the household and the church is very
helpful. It is not demeaning for the church to
submit to Christ. And so we gladly serve our
Lord. And neither is it demeaning for a wife
to submit to her husband. Now there is one difference.
Even though it is given very clearly, we know
that Christ cannot sin and we husbands sure can.
We can make a mess of things. So there is that
that has to be worked through. But that's part
of why God gave you a helper. To be able to see
those things and to work through them. And also
to give warning and say, husband, I think this
is not going to turn out right. Excuse me. But
it's not demeaning. Each of us must understand
our callings and responsibilities in Christ's
kingdom. Now the command for this submission.
is found quite a number of places in the New
Testament. And this is why, one of the reasons
why it is made a point of here in the marriage
relationship. We've looked at it in Ephesians
5, verse 24. Colossians 3, verse 18. Wives, submit
yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit
in the Lord. 1 Peter 3, in verse 1. Likewise,
ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands.
1 Corinthians 11, verse 3. But I would have you
know that the head of every man is Christ, and
the head of the woman is the man, and the head
of Christ is God. Titus 2, verse 3 to 5. Older
women are to admonish the younger women to do
what? To love their husbands, to be obedient,
so that the word of God might not be blasphemed,
which means spoken of reproachfully, reviled,
or discredited. And then in 1 Corinthians 14,
verse 21. Paul admonishes the church in Corinth,
says your women are to be submissive as the law
also says. This is referring both to the creation
order when Eve was created out of man to be a
helper to him and the injunction given to Eve
in Genesis 3 verse 16 after the fall. Your desire
shall be for your husband and he shall rule over
you. We also see this portrayed in 1 Timothy
2, 11 to 14. Now, I say all of this knowing that
I am just completely, what I'm teaching here
that the word of God is saying is just completely
counter to our culture, to our society in so
many ways. In fact, in some places it would be
regarded as hate speech. So I understand that,
but I also am committed to teach the word of
God as it is, not how we want to make it out
to be. Or how anyone else wants to. So why is
this command so opposed or twisted and interpreted
to mean something other than what the plain meaning
is? Why is this? Well, certainly, it is against
the zeitgeist, the modern sensibilities. Feminism
and the rejection of God's creation and order
in many ways. Egalitarian values where a woman
is supposed to do anything that a man can do.
And there are no intrinsic differences other
than parts of the body. Or the potential for
the understanding of that, the false understanding
of that. Or there's also the potential for misuse
of justifying, controlling, or abusive behavior.
Or it simply could be an independent spirit or
even a democratic spirit where no one wants to
be ruled or be under authority. All of these
in our modern world are contributing factors
to why this command is so misunderstood and opposed.
However, I think the greatest reason is one that
is not thought of many times and it is related
to our first part. It is the loss of understanding
of the concept of household. The concept of household
and its function. Proverbs 31 shows how a wife
acts under the headship and authority of her
husband, but is a sturdy helper and manager of
the household and is able to shoulder significant
responsibilities. She is a woman of valor, a
woman who directs the house, a woman who is strong,
is active, and is competent. She is not a woman
of weakness. She is not robbed of initiative.
And rather than being like a servant, she is
portrayed as a lieutenant general who is responsible
for many things in the household. I have a book
that's written, a really excellent book. It was
out of print for quite some time, but it has
recently been reprinted. It's called Man and
Woman in Christ by Stephen Clark. And I'd like
to read to you just briefly a summary of what
he gives on page 63. He says, to summarize, as
he's talking about the woman, the virtuous woman,
he says, the passages examined here illustrate
some important elements of the role of wife in
Scripture. The wife is the ruler or manager of
the household. She is the heart of household
life, ordering the life of the household and
seeing that the needs of the people in the household
are met. She takes an active responsibility for
the affairs of the house and is expected to handle
them competently. She rules the house. in subordination
to her husband but she rules the household nonetheless
within the household her special concern is to
see that the members of the household are served
in their needs that they are fed clothed provided
with what each needs to function well She makes
the household a home, a place where others are
strengthened and refreshed. The wife is a source
of strength to her husband and to the other members
of the household because of her personal service
to them. Finally, she is actively involved in
what we call charity work. She serves the needy
of the community either personally or by seeing
that the other members of the household. provide
help. It's an excellent summary. I'd really encourage
it. It's a good book to read. The loss of this
understanding has contributed, well, let me rephrase
that. The loss of this understanding and the
mistaking it by, in many ways, the Victorian
ideal, at least in some, that was portrayed of
that a woman is more like a wallflower. She's
to be very carefully protected against all sorts
of work like this or managing. She's just let
everyone else do it. And she's just supposed
to be, she is supposed to be cherished, but the
cherish was like protect her from even the possibility
of something bad going wrong. That ideal, I think,
gave rise to many of the reactions to it rather
than understanding as a sturdy. Helper and ruler
of the household. That's why I'm making this
point. Now, I do not deny that feminism has had
great impact. But again, feminism arose in part
because of the loss of understanding of household.
I will say, this loss was exacerbated when men
went off the factory to work instead of having
even a small household with some land. The home,
instead of a place of productivity, became a
place to rest and to sleep. Before this, most
people lived in small towns or cities, but either
owned land outside the town or worked in the
land or in shops in some way, many with family
enterprises. I do not have time today to fully
describe the social upheaval that took place
because of this shift, but it is huge. And so
I just give it to you as just a thought on this.
If you would like more historical perspective
on the changes that happened and how to deal
with them now, there's a whole number of books
that are on it. It's C .R. Wiley's book, The
Household and the War for the Cosmos, and also
Man of the House. Alan Carlson wrote an excellent
book, The American Way, Family and Community
in the Shaping of the American Identity. Nancy
Peercy wrote Total Truth and also The Toxic War
and Masculinity. And there are more. All of them
get into this in much greater detail. So why
is this emphasized so in the New Testament when
talking about wives? Why were they commanded
to submit? There's a couple of reasons. It was
so from creation. The woman was made for man
and for the man to be a helper to him. Therefore,
in order to maintain order in households, this
was a code that was workable and it modeled the
hierarchy that God established on the earth and
later also revealed in Christ and the church.
It's the way the world works. This is an example
of how the church is to submit to Christ, a clear,
earthy, demonstrable model of that submission.
The picture of the church as the body of Jesus
Christ is not developed until after Christ comes.
And marriage, Paul tells us, and Jesus speaks
to it some, but especially here in Ephesians
and in others, marriage is a huge road sign pointing
to the relationship of Christ in the church.
And then we also know to see that Christ is,
in being the second Adam, And in redeeming his
people, the fallen creation order is being restored
through Christ -like love from the head to the
wife. Households are being renewed through the
gospel to model the original plan and the gospel
is being lived out in the world. Again, I repeat
this. In Christ, who is the second Adam, the
fallen creation order is being restored through
husbands loving their wives like Christ and through
wives submitting to their husbands as the church
does to Christ. After the fall. Sin distorted
the original creation order. Marriage became
a tug of war where the man's temptation was to
rule in a tyrannical manner or to be lazy and
abdicate his responsibility. And the woman's
temptation was to grasp the rule for themselves,
rebel against the created order, and upend it.
But the gospel redeems both. the abuses, and
the distortions. Husbands go from tyrannical
role or abdication to loving headship and loving
their wives like Christ loved the church. Wives
go from rebellious grasping to gracious submission
like the church to Christ. When we lose sight
of this, things get murky and cloudy and they
seem arbitrary, demanding, and not fair. If we
miss it, The living illustration and demonstration
is all messed up. Now, let me say, before I move
on here, submission is something that cannot
be coerced. Men, you need to hear this. Submission
is not something that is coerced. You don't pound
the table and say, you need to. It doesn't work.
It's not something that is coerced, where you
try to put your wife in some type of a squeeze
box. No. Marriage submission must be given freely.
A willing alignment with a God -ordained structure
and not blind obedience to abusive demands. This
is why the marriage oath is entered by both man
and woman before God with witnesses. And they
each vow and swear to the other that they will
perform their responsibilities and their duties.
Each one of them. Go look at the marriage vows
again and see how they're structured. Before
God and these witnesses, I will do this, says
the husband. I will do this, says the wife. They
come together in this covenant relationship,
each agreeing to do their part. Now, Obviously
the question comes up, so what if my husband
is not a Christian? Or he is a Christian but
is disobedient. Now 1 Corinthians 7 verses 10
to 16, and I'm not going to take time to read
this right now, but basically tells us there
if an unbelieving spouse decides to leave and
is not willing to live with the believer, then
you are no longer bound. You let them depart
and you are free. If they are willing to stay
with you, then live as a Christian and let your
light shine. For then you might be an instrument
of salvation that God uses in them. This is expanded
and amplified in 1 Peter 3. It says, wives, likewise,
be submissive to your own husbands, that even
if some do not obey the word. They, without a
word, may be won by the conduct of their wives
when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied
by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely
outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold, or
putting on fine apparel. Rather, let it be the
hidden person of the heart with the incorruptible
beauty. of a gentle and a quiet spirit, which
is very precious in the sight of God. For in
this manner, in former times, the holy women
who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being
submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed
Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you
are if you do good and are not afraid with any
terror. This is the counsel that is given to
Peter. Obviously, there can be many extenuating
circumstances and I can have not time to get
into them. But that is where you need godly wisdom
and counsel. You need godly wisdom and counsel
if you are in a situation like that. And I would
encourage you to get it, to seek it out. Faithful
and wise counsel. Well, the scriptures. Speed
describe a faithful wife in many ways. A fruitful
vine in the very heart of your house. Psalm 128
verse 3. A woman who fears the Lord who shall
be praised. Proverbs 31 verse 30. A wife who's
trusted by her husband. Proverbs 31 verse 11.
As daughters of Sarah who modeled obedience to
her husband and had faith in God. As Hebrews
11 verse 11. Scriptures speak of a faithful wife
as one who is ornamented with the incorruptible
beauty of a gentle and a quiet spirit. What does
faithfulness look like? The older women teach
the younger women these things. Notice the emphasis
here again. on the various responsibilities and
the attention to domestic duties. Titus 2, 3
-5, the older women likewise, that they be reverent
in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much
wine, teachers of good things, that they admonish
the young women to love their husbands, to love
their children, to be discreet, chaste, keeper
of the home. good, obedient to their own husbands,
that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Also
1 Timothy 5 and verse 10, a widow indeed is to
be well reported for good works. If she has brought
up children, if she has lodged strangers, if
she has washed the saints feet, if she has relieved
the afflicted, if she has diligently followed
every good work. I'd like to close now with just
a few After the extended discourse on marriage
and the parallels with Christ and the church,
the five different parallels, the apostle ends
with this exhortation, both to the husband and
to the wife in chapter five, verse 33 of Ephesians.
He says, nevertheless, this is a glorious mystery.
All this is, there's intricate things here and
some of it is mysterious, but nevertheless, let
each of you in particular so love. his own wife
as himself. And the wife see that she respects
her husband. Now, a whole host of questions can
arise. But what if my husband isn't leading well?
Or what if he is making mistakes? What if he
is asking me to sin? Should I then still do that?
And we can go through and answer some of those,
but some of them also will need wisdom and wise
counsel. But one of them I'd like to set real
clear. If your husband is asking you to sin,
then you are answerable to God and you should
not commit that sin. We see an example of that
in Abigail. The story of Abigail and Nabal, her
husband was a very wicked man. He brushed off
David's servants and was... And so David was
angry about it. David came. He was going to destroy
everyone, everything the man owned, level the
place, destroy everyone. And Abigail, who heard
of it, came to David and said, I know that this
man is a wicked man, but here is some food that
you have requested. And please don't do this.
And it all ended up much better. And eventually
then when she went back and told her husband
what he died, his heart, it's kind of his spirit
went out of him and says his heart became like
stone. And I think it was the next morning or
a few days later, he was dead. He was struck
down. And then she became David's wife. So that's
just one example. I would just say in all of
this, you need to trust God in all of this. As
1 Peter 3 brings about, I cannot guarantee that
there are not hard circumstances in life. We
all experience hard circumstances in life, difficulty
in various ways. It might be a really tough financial
situation that you can't get out of and you don't
know how to deal with. You might have creditors
or whatever. It might be a job and you need to
provide for your family and there's nothing else
that you have and your boss is absolutely terrible.
And so you have to know how to deal with that.
Or you might be a wife in a very difficult situation.
All of these require wisdom and grace from God.
The passages that I've given you give you some
glimmer. They give you an understanding. But
there's many different ways to address them and
they need to be done with biblical wisdom and
with charity. Now, you might also say, well,
what if I'm not a wife like this and I'm not
an example of how the church submits to Christ?
Then I will give you the same advice. That I
gave you to the men last week. What if I'm not
a husband as God given me? And that is these
three simple things. You repent. You mortify
and put to death the deeds of the flesh. And
you obey Christ. All of this requires the power
of the Holy Spirit. And that is the case here
as well for you wives. If your marriage does
not look like this. If you're not an example
of how the church submits to Christ. Then repent
of it. Put to death. the sins by the grace and
the power of the Holy Spirit and be obedient
to Christ. Next week, we'd like to put all of
this back together and consider the whole picture
in what I believe will be the last sermon in
this series, that of covenant faithfulness and
the sanctification of marriage. So we'll look
forward to that. I will close again with these
words from chapter 8 and 9 of 1 Peter 3. Finally,
all of you, be of one mind, having compassion
one for another, love as brothers, be tenderhearted,
be courteous, not returning evil for evil or
reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, wise
blessing, knowing. that you were called to this,
that you may inherit a blessing. May it be so,
and may God give you grace in this. Let's close
in prayer.