WEBVTT 00:00:01.740 --> 00:00:05.820 We are continuing today in our series on marriage. 00:00:07.139 --> 00:00:10.699 We've been looking, we've looked at God's, the 00:00:10.699 --> 00:00:13.599 creation of marriage and God's purposes for marriage. 00:00:14.039 --> 00:00:17.440 And then we spent two sermons in looking at the 00:00:17.440 --> 00:00:20.679 husband's part. And now today we want to look 00:00:20.679 --> 00:00:24.179 at the wife's part. That is wives of virtue and 00:00:24.179 --> 00:00:28.829 honor. We're going to be reading from a few passages 00:00:28.829 --> 00:00:31.050 of Scripture this morning. We're going to begin 00:00:31.050 --> 00:00:35.250 in Proverbs chapter 31, reading from verse 10 00:00:35.250 --> 00:00:38.450 through 31, and then we'll move over to the book 00:00:38.450 --> 00:00:42.289 of Ephesians chapter 5. Hear the word of the 00:00:42.289 --> 00:00:46.369 Lord. Who can find a virtuous woman, for her 00:00:46.369 --> 00:00:49.909 worth is far above rubies? The heart of her husband 00:00:49.909 --> 00:00:53.130 safely trusts in her, so he will have no lack 00:00:53.130 --> 00:00:56.880 of gain. She does him good and not evil all the 00:00:56.880 --> 00:01:00.420 days of her life. She seeks wool and flax and 00:01:00.420 --> 00:01:03.079 willingly works with her hands. She is like the 00:01:03.079 --> 00:01:05.079 merchant ship. She brings her food from afar. 00:01:05.719 --> 00:01:08.799 She also rises while it is yet night and provides 00:01:08.799 --> 00:01:12.000 food for her household and a portion for her 00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:15.879 maidens. She considers a field and buys it. From 00:01:15.879 --> 00:01:18.579 her profits, she plants a vineyard. She girds 00:01:18.579 --> 00:01:21.140 herself with strength and strengthens her arm. 00:01:21.930 --> 00:01:24.989 She perceives that her merchandise is good and 00:01:24.989 --> 00:01:28.069 her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches 00:01:28.069 --> 00:01:30.870 out her hands to the distaff and her hand holds 00:01:30.870 --> 00:01:34.209 the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor. 00:01:34.409 --> 00:01:36.909 Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. 00:01:37.049 --> 00:01:39.930 She is not afraid of snow for her household, 00:01:40.189 --> 00:01:42.609 for all her household is clothed with scarlet. 00:01:42.849 --> 00:01:46.129 She makes tapestry for herself. Her clothing 00:01:46.129 --> 00:01:49.109 is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known 00:01:49.109 --> 00:01:51.760 in the gates. When he sits among the elders of 00:01:51.760 --> 00:01:56.560 the land, she makes linen garments and sells 00:01:56.560 --> 00:02:00.760 them and supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength 00:02:00.760 --> 00:02:03.780 and honor are her clothing. She shall rejoice 00:02:03.780 --> 00:02:07.739 in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom 00:02:07.739 --> 00:02:11.509 and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She 00:02:11.509 --> 00:02:14.370 watches over the ways of her household and does 00:02:14.370 --> 00:02:18.009 not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise 00:02:18.009 --> 00:02:21.129 up and call her blessed. Her husband also, and 00:02:21.129 --> 00:02:24.569 he praises her. Many daughters have done well, 00:02:24.729 --> 00:02:29.229 but you excel them all. Charm is deceitful and 00:02:29.229 --> 00:02:32.590 beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the 00:02:32.590 --> 00:02:36.810 Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit 00:02:36.810 --> 00:02:40.169 of her hands and let her own works praise her. 00:02:40.599 --> 00:02:44.479 in the gates. Now let's turn over to the book 00:02:44.479 --> 00:02:49.759 of Ephesians chapter 5 verses 22 through 24 and 00:02:49.759 --> 00:02:55.360 verse 33. Wives submit to your own husbands as 00:02:55.360 --> 00:02:58.379 to the Lord for the husband is head of the wife 00:02:58.379 --> 00:03:01.599 as also Christ is head of the church and he is 00:03:01.599 --> 00:03:04.699 the savior of the body. Therefore, just as the 00:03:04.699 --> 00:03:07.759 church is subject to Christ, so let the wives 00:03:07.759 --> 00:03:11.620 be to their own husbands in everything. Nevertheless, 00:03:12.060 --> 00:03:15.360 let each one of you in particular so love his 00:03:15.360 --> 00:03:19.460 wife as himself, and the wife see that she respects 00:03:19.460 --> 00:03:22.740 her husband. Let's pray and ask God's blessing 00:03:22.740 --> 00:03:25.560 on this time in the word. Our Father, we look 00:03:25.560 --> 00:03:28.560 to you today. We pray, dear Father, that you 00:03:28.560 --> 00:03:32.759 would give us wisdom and insight into the married 00:03:32.759 --> 00:03:36.319 state. Lord, I pray that today, especially as 00:03:36.319 --> 00:03:39.000 we look at your word regarding wives, I pray 00:03:39.000 --> 00:03:41.020 that you would give insight and understanding. 00:03:41.979 --> 00:03:45.120 Help me, Lord, to faithfully exposit your word 00:03:45.120 --> 00:03:48.099 and to teach it, that it is proper and appropriate. 00:03:48.180 --> 00:03:50.439 And I pray that you would open up all the hearts 00:03:50.439 --> 00:03:54.400 to hear and to understand. Let us see from you 00:03:54.400 --> 00:03:58.139 and hear from you, O God, today. We pray this 00:03:58.139 --> 00:04:04.669 in Jesus' name. Amen. In our study of marriage, 00:04:04.889 --> 00:04:07.069 I have spent a good bit of time looking at the 00:04:07.069 --> 00:04:09.169 husband's part in the marriage relationship. 00:04:09.969 --> 00:04:12.330 Because he has been created as the head of the 00:04:12.330 --> 00:04:14.710 wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, 00:04:14.909 --> 00:04:18.529 the husband bears the great and greater responsibility 00:04:18.529 --> 00:04:23.329 of ensuring that the marriage is a true and proper 00:04:23.329 --> 00:04:28.170 representation of the mystery of Christ and the 00:04:28.170 --> 00:04:31.500 church. We reviewed the scriptures in a detailed 00:04:31.500 --> 00:04:35.339 manner on how he is to lead, how he is to conduct 00:04:35.339 --> 00:04:39.639 himself, and how he is to treat his wife as a 00:04:39.639 --> 00:04:44.079 fellow heir of the grace of life. How he is to 00:04:44.079 --> 00:04:47.699 live with her in an understanding way, but at 00:04:47.699 --> 00:04:52.199 the same time to lead her with honor. Today, 00:04:52.199 --> 00:04:54.720 I turn to some of the scriptures that are spoken 00:04:54.720 --> 00:04:58.100 to wives. Knowing that the commandments and the 00:04:58.100 --> 00:05:01.360 examples that God gave are at such odds with 00:05:01.360 --> 00:05:03.899 the prevailing understanding and practice of 00:05:03.899 --> 00:05:07.579 the world, I want to carefully review the biblical 00:05:07.579 --> 00:05:12.459 household code for wives. Household codes are 00:05:12.459 --> 00:05:15.000 the instructions that are given to various components 00:05:15.000 --> 00:05:18.779 of a household, husband, wife, children, fathers 00:05:18.779 --> 00:05:20.939 and mothers, servants and masters, and they're 00:05:20.939 --> 00:05:24.480 found in various places in the scriptures. God 00:05:24.480 --> 00:05:26.860 is so created that this is the way the world 00:05:26.860 --> 00:05:30.379 works. But we want to have a good and a proper 00:05:30.379 --> 00:05:34.040 understanding of it and not live by caricatures 00:05:34.040 --> 00:05:39.459 of either the past or the present. Just as I 00:05:39.459 --> 00:05:42.439 mentioned last week, in the time of Luther and 00:05:42.439 --> 00:05:47.759 the early Reformation, wife -beating was considered 00:05:47.759 --> 00:05:51.019 by many to be normal and permissible. And it 00:05:51.019 --> 00:05:53.980 was the reformers who spoke out against such 00:05:53.980 --> 00:05:57.579 practices and began restoring a biblical understanding 00:05:57.579 --> 00:06:01.660 of marriage. The society then had many wrong 00:06:01.660 --> 00:06:05.420 misconceptions of the marriage relationship and 00:06:05.420 --> 00:06:10.379 so does ours. In a similar way to that time, 00:06:10.639 --> 00:06:16.279 we see both sides of the road. We see wrong and 00:06:16.279 --> 00:06:20.759 abusive marriage relationships. Ones that demean 00:06:20.759 --> 00:06:24.759 and exploit, that shame and degrade wives to 00:06:24.759 --> 00:06:28.459 the level of a slave, creating impossible demands 00:06:28.459 --> 00:06:33.300 physically, emotionally, and sexually. Islam 00:06:33.300 --> 00:06:37.040 teaches and practices this in a horrific and 00:06:37.040 --> 00:06:41.519 dehumanizing way. And abundant examples can be 00:06:41.519 --> 00:06:44.259 viewed on YouTube and other places, and it is 00:06:44.259 --> 00:06:47.870 very shameful. Some self -styled men who call 00:06:47.870 --> 00:06:51.629 themselves patriarchal also act in a very shameful 00:06:51.629 --> 00:06:55.170 and abusive way, and these also need to be called 00:06:55.170 --> 00:06:58.329 out and even disciplined by the church. This 00:06:58.329 --> 00:07:02.230 is not the biblical picture of patriarchy. It 00:07:02.230 --> 00:07:04.930 is not according to the household codes, and 00:07:04.930 --> 00:07:08.629 it is twisted and evil. But on the other hand, 00:07:08.730 --> 00:07:10.870 or on the other ditch of the road, we might say, 00:07:11.009 --> 00:07:14.629 there are many who also then shun the words submission, 00:07:15.259 --> 00:07:18.939 hierarchy, household codes, or headship, embracing 00:07:18.939 --> 00:07:22.579 what is called egalitarianism, which is the belief 00:07:22.579 --> 00:07:25.839 that men and women are equal in all aspects of 00:07:25.839 --> 00:07:30.009 life, including spiritual leadership roles. This 00:07:30.009 --> 00:07:34.250 teaching teaches that a person's sex does not 00:07:34.250 --> 00:07:36.949 guide or limit a person's gifts, calling, or 00:07:36.949 --> 00:07:40.149 responsibilities in ministry, in leadership, 00:07:40.250 --> 00:07:44.009 or in the home, and thus all are equally capable 00:07:44.009 --> 00:07:46.889 of holding positions in spiritual authority, 00:07:47.089 --> 00:07:50.870 such as being a pastor or elder, and that both 00:07:50.870 --> 00:07:53.730 marriage partners must mutually submit and defer 00:07:53.730 --> 00:07:56.990 to the other. Now, there's a number of denominations 00:07:56.990 --> 00:08:00.529 that teach and practice this. Some of them are 00:08:00.529 --> 00:08:03.170 more well -known to us, such as Assemblies of 00:08:03.170 --> 00:08:05.850 God or Church of the Nazarene or Vineyard Fellowship 00:08:05.850 --> 00:08:09.290 or the PCUSA, Presbyterians, and there's others. 00:08:09.569 --> 00:08:12.649 Now, indeed, we are all one in Christ. As Paul 00:08:12.649 --> 00:08:16.149 says in Galatians chapter 3, verse 28 and 29, 00:08:16.509 --> 00:08:19.550 there is neither Jew nor Greek. There is neither 00:08:19.550 --> 00:08:23.129 slave nor free. There is neither male nor female. 00:08:23.839 --> 00:08:28.879 For you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you 00:08:28.879 --> 00:08:32.080 are Christ, then you are Abraham's seed and heirs 00:08:32.080 --> 00:08:34.940 according to the promise. And this is for all 00:08:34.940 --> 00:08:39.559 men, women, wives, husbands, children, all who 00:08:39.559 --> 00:08:42.879 are in Christ. We are heirs according to the 00:08:42.879 --> 00:08:47.200 promise of God. But this unity does not erase 00:08:47.200 --> 00:08:50.639 the fact that there still are distinctions. There 00:08:50.639 --> 00:08:53.730 are still Jews. And there are Greeks or Gentiles. 00:08:53.850 --> 00:08:56.570 There are those who are slaves and those who 00:08:56.570 --> 00:08:59.990 are free. And there are men and there are women. 00:09:00.289 --> 00:09:03.289 All are human beings created in the image of 00:09:03.289 --> 00:09:06.929 God, but there are distinctions. And the scriptures, 00:09:07.070 --> 00:09:10.250 while affirming our unity and our oneness in 00:09:10.250 --> 00:09:14.850 Christ, speaks to those distinctions. The instructions 00:09:14.850 --> 00:09:18.090 given to wives are both alike. That is, we are 00:09:18.090 --> 00:09:21.460 all as one. Male and female, we are all to stand 00:09:21.460 --> 00:09:24.399 in the faith. We're to love God with our heart 00:09:24.399 --> 00:09:26.980 and soul and mind and strength. And we're to 00:09:26.980 --> 00:09:30.500 love our neighbor as ourself and many, many other 00:09:30.500 --> 00:09:34.399 commands that apply to us in the same way. But 00:09:34.399 --> 00:09:38.620 there are also differences. The older men are 00:09:38.620 --> 00:09:41.320 counseled in one way, the older women in another. 00:09:41.639 --> 00:09:44.940 Man is created as a leader, woman as his helper. 00:09:45.500 --> 00:09:48.740 He is like, as Ephesians 5 brings out, he is 00:09:48.740 --> 00:09:51.480 the head, like Christ is the head of the church. 00:09:51.580 --> 00:09:55.960 And the wife is to submit to him as the church 00:09:55.960 --> 00:10:00.600 submits to Christ. Man is the glory of God, and 00:10:00.600 --> 00:10:03.200 woman is the glory of man, 1 Corinthians chapter 00:10:03.200 --> 00:10:07.309 11. We can no more erase these distinctions than 00:10:07.309 --> 00:10:10.789 we can turn ourselves into the opposite sex or 00:10:10.789 --> 00:10:13.809 change the color of our skin. In other words, 00:10:13.809 --> 00:10:17.389 this is a matter of creation. So in order for 00:10:17.389 --> 00:10:19.950 marriage to properly illustrate Christ in the 00:10:19.950 --> 00:10:23.370 church, we must understand what our calling and 00:10:23.370 --> 00:10:26.350 our responsibilities are. I have sought to do 00:10:26.350 --> 00:10:29.309 that clearly and plainly with husbands, and today 00:10:29.309 --> 00:10:33.399 we turn to wives. One more thing in the introduction 00:10:33.399 --> 00:10:36.320 here. If we are to fully understand the teachings 00:10:36.320 --> 00:10:39.379 of the apostles Paul and Peter, which we're going 00:10:39.379 --> 00:10:41.860 to be looking at today, we must look at what 00:10:41.860 --> 00:10:45.000 undergirds and supports their teaching from the 00:10:45.000 --> 00:10:50.840 Old Testament. This is why I chose to read Proverbs 00:10:50.840 --> 00:10:55.279 chapter 31. For these do not contradict one another, 00:10:55.460 --> 00:10:59.139 but they together are a revelation of the triune 00:10:59.139 --> 00:11:03.090 God to his people. I know of no better summary 00:11:03.090 --> 00:11:07.909 for a wife than that of Proverbs 31. It is comprehensive. 00:11:08.210 --> 00:11:10.929 It is clear. And we're going to look at it a 00:11:10.929 --> 00:11:15.490 little bit more in an overview next. So we'll 00:11:15.490 --> 00:11:18.029 look at Proverbs 31 and then move to Ephesians 00:11:18.029 --> 00:11:21.370 5 and end in 1 Peter chapter 3. So number one, 00:11:21.429 --> 00:11:25.750 a wife is to be a woman of virtue who does her 00:11:25.750 --> 00:11:29.840 husband good all the days of her life. This passage 00:11:29.840 --> 00:11:33.240 on a virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 is a great 00:11:33.240 --> 00:11:36.559 exposition about a faithful wife who runs her 00:11:36.559 --> 00:11:40.879 household and is trusted by her husband. The 00:11:40.879 --> 00:11:44.039 key verse to this passage is verse 12. She does 00:11:44.039 --> 00:11:46.960 him good and not evil all the days of her life. 00:11:47.320 --> 00:11:50.840 Therefore, ladies, this passage undergirds the 00:11:50.840 --> 00:11:54.960 teachings of Paul and Peter. She, under the authority 00:11:54.960 --> 00:11:59.500 of her husband, is a capable manager of the household. 00:11:59.940 --> 00:12:04.000 Just as Paul describes in 1 Timothy chapter 5 00:12:04.000 --> 00:12:07.299 and verse 14 when he says, Therefore, I desire 00:12:07.299 --> 00:12:10.950 that the younger widows marry. bear children, 00:12:11.350 --> 00:12:16.149 and manage the house. The word manage there in 00:12:16.149 --> 00:12:20.889 managing the house is the Greek word oikodespoteo, 00:12:20.950 --> 00:12:24.610 which means to rule a household and to manage 00:12:24.610 --> 00:12:29.210 family affairs. When the apostles wrote these 00:12:29.210 --> 00:12:32.909 admonitions, the examples of the women of old 00:12:32.909 --> 00:12:36.610 and this passage were in view. They were the 00:12:36.610 --> 00:12:40.399 inscripturated word at that time. And so these 00:12:40.399 --> 00:12:44.120 were in view as they wrote about the household 00:12:44.120 --> 00:12:49.480 codes. Now, let me say that some look at this 00:12:49.480 --> 00:12:53.519 passage in Proverbs 31 as this is a superwoman. 00:12:53.759 --> 00:12:57.200 I mean, who can do this really in one person? 00:12:57.259 --> 00:13:01.419 This is an unattainable ideal woman that's very 00:13:01.419 --> 00:13:04.360 difficult to emulate, one who's admired from 00:13:04.360 --> 00:13:09.590 afar but impossible to live out. It is given 00:13:09.590 --> 00:13:13.370 in poetic form. It actually is given as an acrostic 00:13:13.370 --> 00:13:15.909 for the Hebrew language where every verse begins 00:13:15.909 --> 00:13:18.970 starting at the first going all the way to the 00:13:18.970 --> 00:13:23.490 last letter of the alphabet. But this passage 00:13:23.490 --> 00:13:27.669 is descriptive of a wife of virtue who is entrusted 00:13:27.669 --> 00:13:30.730 by her husband who is in submission to him but 00:13:30.730 --> 00:13:35.110 is also responsibly managing her household. Now, 00:13:35.129 --> 00:13:37.149 one other thing before we consider the content. 00:13:37.610 --> 00:13:41.110 Remember that most middle and upper class women 00:13:41.110 --> 00:13:44.409 who had prominent households like this had servants. 00:13:44.950 --> 00:13:47.470 They had servants. In fact, many of them had 00:13:47.470 --> 00:13:50.129 a number of them. So the only way that she was 00:13:50.129 --> 00:13:52.789 able to accomplish all that was given in that 00:13:52.789 --> 00:13:57.070 passage was having servants. So keep that in 00:13:57.070 --> 00:13:59.820 mind. Now, we're also thankful for labor -saving 00:13:59.820 --> 00:14:03.519 devices. They help. But servants were also very 00:14:03.519 --> 00:14:07.639 helpful in a whole number of ways. We know this 00:14:07.639 --> 00:14:10.120 because they're referenced in Proverbs 31 and 00:14:10.120 --> 00:14:14.350 verse 15. So do not be overwhelmed by, but look 00:14:14.350 --> 00:14:17.710 at the overarching theme of this in the scripture 00:14:17.710 --> 00:14:21.370 because it is given to all wives. The passage 00:14:21.370 --> 00:14:24.610 begins with the question, who can find a virtuous 00:14:24.610 --> 00:14:28.289 woman for her price is far above rubies? Verses 00:14:28.289 --> 00:14:31.470 10 to 33 are an acrostic, as I mentioned, and 00:14:31.470 --> 00:14:35.470 her character is one that is virtuous. Now, when 00:14:35.470 --> 00:14:37.629 we think of virtue, we usually think of someone 00:14:37.629 --> 00:14:41.370 that's really good or someone that's pure. that 00:14:41.370 --> 00:14:45.129 is really attentive to God's word and to his 00:14:45.129 --> 00:14:49.210 law. Well, whereas all of that is contained in 00:14:49.210 --> 00:14:51.889 this passage, that's actually not what this word 00:14:51.889 --> 00:14:55.470 means. This word in many places is used as army. 00:14:56.490 --> 00:15:00.870 It is a woman of valor, a woman of strength. 00:15:01.450 --> 00:15:05.809 a woman of great character and industry. That's 00:15:05.809 --> 00:15:08.710 what the word virtuous means here. She is a woman 00:15:08.710 --> 00:15:12.190 of valor, of power, and of strength. And as such, 00:15:12.190 --> 00:15:16.090 she is invaluable. Her price is far above rubies. 00:15:16.769 --> 00:15:20.669 Verses 13 to 27 speak of how she performs her 00:15:20.669 --> 00:15:25.389 duties and what her duties are. And some of those 00:15:25.389 --> 00:15:28.909 duties will vary. For example, we can't necessarily 00:15:28.909 --> 00:15:33.179 relate about that she is up at night sewing and 00:15:33.179 --> 00:15:37.360 that all of her children are clothed with scarlet. 00:15:37.539 --> 00:15:41.460 Now, that was really fine cloth. But when looking 00:15:41.460 --> 00:15:43.580 at it, we understand, okay, she clothes her children 00:15:43.580 --> 00:15:48.240 well. She does well by them. She's making sure 00:15:48.240 --> 00:15:51.159 that they're properly clothed. So as we read 00:15:51.159 --> 00:15:53.500 it, let's not interpret it woodenly. Okay, they 00:15:53.500 --> 00:15:55.580 were all of you come in with all of your children 00:15:55.580 --> 00:15:58.279 dressed in scarlet clothes next Sunday. That's 00:15:58.279 --> 00:16:00.240 not what we're referring to. But it's simply 00:16:00.240 --> 00:16:02.720 being that she cares about her children. It means 00:16:02.720 --> 00:16:05.059 that she cares about her children and that they 00:16:05.059 --> 00:16:08.139 are clothed well. So as you study the passage, 00:16:08.220 --> 00:16:11.399 you can understand and look at the meaning behind 00:16:11.399 --> 00:16:17.019 the description that is given. She is industrious. 00:16:17.360 --> 00:16:20.100 She takes what is given to her and manages it 00:16:20.100 --> 00:16:23.919 well with her resources, her time, and it includes 00:16:23.919 --> 00:16:29.080 charity to others. In many ways, the description 00:16:29.080 --> 00:16:32.200 given here is reflected in the teaching of 1 00:16:32.200 --> 00:16:38.080 Timothy 2 verses 9 and 10 and 1 Peter 3. Verses 00:16:38.080 --> 00:16:40.980 1 through 6, whereupon the duties that are described 00:16:40.980 --> 00:16:43.820 there line up with the descriptions here in this 00:16:43.820 --> 00:16:46.259 passage. In other words, the descriptions about 00:16:46.259 --> 00:16:50.299 a faithful wife are very, very similar in the 00:16:50.299 --> 00:16:53.259 various passages. Furthermore, she is a woman 00:16:53.259 --> 00:16:56.399 of spirit, but she has the command of her own 00:16:56.399 --> 00:16:59.799 spirit and she knows how to manage other people. 00:17:00.019 --> 00:17:03.240 She is one who fears the Lord and a good helpmate 00:17:03.240 --> 00:17:06.430 for her husband. Because of her faithful and 00:17:06.430 --> 00:17:09.490 capable management of the household, her husband 00:17:09.490 --> 00:17:13.329 is to fulfill his duties, which in this case 00:17:13.329 --> 00:17:16.450 is that he was able to serve the community by 00:17:16.450 --> 00:17:19.309 sitting in the gates. Now, this was not sitting 00:17:19.309 --> 00:17:22.269 lazily in the gates, just frittering time away. 00:17:22.609 --> 00:17:26.490 It was the gates were the seat of rule and authority 00:17:26.490 --> 00:17:29.150 in the land. In other words, he was taking his 00:17:29.150 --> 00:17:32.390 place with the elders in the land. And so because 00:17:32.390 --> 00:17:35.690 of the capability of his wife and managing the 00:17:35.690 --> 00:17:38.910 household, he was able to serve the Lord and 00:17:38.910 --> 00:17:42.829 serve his community as an elder or a legislator. 00:17:42.990 --> 00:17:47.269 He was able to lead well because of this. Now 00:17:47.269 --> 00:17:50.670 this description is also a testament to the faithfulness 00:17:50.670 --> 00:17:53.970 and godliness of her husband because her husband 00:17:53.970 --> 00:17:57.200 trusts her. And that shows us that in a well 00:17:57.200 --> 00:17:59.759 -run household, the husband is not micromanaging. 00:17:59.779 --> 00:18:03.079 He's not being tight -fisted or tyrannical. And 00:18:03.079 --> 00:18:06.740 the wife is not quarrelsome or lazy or careless 00:18:06.740 --> 00:18:09.940 with what has been entrusted to her. She watches 00:18:09.940 --> 00:18:12.799 over the household. She speaks words of wisdom. 00:18:12.920 --> 00:18:16.119 She sees that the needs of her family and her 00:18:16.119 --> 00:18:20.640 household are met. And she fears the Lord. A 00:18:20.640 --> 00:18:24.299 woman like this. End of Proverbs 31 says, she 00:18:24.299 --> 00:18:28.119 is to be praised. So we see all that this woman 00:18:28.119 --> 00:18:31.619 is, and yet she is one under the authority of 00:18:31.619 --> 00:18:34.339 her husband. She is submitted to him as her head. 00:18:34.500 --> 00:18:38.799 But this submission is more like a lieutenant 00:18:38.799 --> 00:18:42.900 general to a general in the army. She still has 00:18:42.900 --> 00:18:45.900 a lot of responsibility. She's responsible for 00:18:45.900 --> 00:18:49.440 the household. And yet she serves under the general 00:18:49.440 --> 00:18:51.920 overall, that is her husband. We'll come back 00:18:51.920 --> 00:18:55.380 to this in a bit. That's just a quick overview 00:18:55.380 --> 00:18:58.440 of Proverbs 31. But I wanted to show how that 00:18:58.440 --> 00:19:01.720 that needs to be understood for when we look 00:19:01.720 --> 00:19:05.180 at what is taught in the New Testament. And so 00:19:05.180 --> 00:19:07.140 now we're going to turn to Ephesians chapter 00:19:07.140 --> 00:19:13.000 5. In Ephesians 5. We have a discourse on marriage 00:19:13.000 --> 00:19:15.359 that begins in verse 22 and goes all the way 00:19:15.359 --> 00:19:18.359 down to 33. We've looked quite extensively at 00:19:18.359 --> 00:19:21.359 this in the part relating to the husbands, especially 00:19:21.359 --> 00:19:27.279 verse 23 and verses 25 to 32. We saw how that 00:19:27.279 --> 00:19:31.019 marriage is a picture of Christ and the church, 00:19:31.160 --> 00:19:33.700 and that there have been many different parallels. 00:19:33.980 --> 00:19:37.400 For example, the husband is the head of the wife, 00:19:37.440 --> 00:19:40.490 just as Christ is the head of the church. That's 00:19:40.490 --> 00:19:42.769 one parallel. And there are a number of parallels 00:19:42.769 --> 00:19:46.329 in this that we looked at previously. But today, 00:19:46.430 --> 00:19:50.529 the last parallel is this one. Wives, submit 00:19:50.529 --> 00:19:53.690 to your own husbands as to the Lord. Therefore, 00:19:53.809 --> 00:19:57.309 just as the church is subject to Christ, so let 00:19:57.309 --> 00:20:01.950 the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 00:20:03.930 --> 00:20:10.200 Now, just a quick note here. This passage is 00:20:10.200 --> 00:20:14.059 not commanding all women to be in subjection 00:20:14.059 --> 00:20:16.859 or submissive to all men. I just want to get 00:20:16.859 --> 00:20:19.160 that very clear right from the beginning. It's 00:20:19.160 --> 00:20:22.599 mentioned right here. The wife is to be in submission 00:20:22.599 --> 00:20:27.000 to her own husband. I want that to be very, very 00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:31.359 clear. So let's look first of all at what is 00:20:31.359 --> 00:20:34.059 the meaning of the word submit or subjection 00:20:34.059 --> 00:20:37.690 to. It's one word. It's called hupotasso. It 00:20:37.690 --> 00:20:40.849 means these things, to arrange under, to subordinate, 00:20:41.170 --> 00:20:45.509 to yield to one's admonition or advice, and to 00:20:45.509 --> 00:20:49.329 obey or to be subject. Let's look how this word 00:20:49.329 --> 00:20:52.410 is used in the New Testament. The word is used 00:20:52.410 --> 00:20:55.109 of Jesus in submitting to his parents after he 00:20:55.109 --> 00:20:57.930 returned from the temple when he was 12 years 00:20:57.930 --> 00:21:02.609 old in Luke 2, verse 51. It is the same word 00:21:02.609 --> 00:21:05.990 that is used in Romans chapter 13 verse 1 and 00:21:05.990 --> 00:21:09.829 in Titus 3 verse 1 that we are to be subject 00:21:09.829 --> 00:21:14.289 to the governing authorities. So that's referring 00:21:14.289 --> 00:21:17.490 there to civil government. Same word. We are 00:21:17.490 --> 00:21:20.890 to be subject to the governing authorities. In 00:21:20.890 --> 00:21:25.369 1 Peter 5 verse 5, he commands them there that 00:21:25.369 --> 00:21:29.720 the younger are to be subject to the elder. In 00:21:29.720 --> 00:21:32.079 other words, if there's older men, they're to 00:21:32.079 --> 00:21:34.900 be looked up to and revered as being wise, and 00:21:34.900 --> 00:21:39.180 so they're to be subject to them. In 1 Peter 00:21:39.180 --> 00:21:43.500 2, verse 18, servants are to submit to their 00:21:43.500 --> 00:21:49.079 masters. And in 1 Peter 3, verse 22, angels, 00:21:49.079 --> 00:21:53.680 authorities, and powers have been made subject 00:21:53.680 --> 00:21:59.210 to Christ. They are in submission to him. So 00:21:59.210 --> 00:22:02.509 this is a widely used term and it is clearly 00:22:02.509 --> 00:22:05.329 understood as to what it means. I mean, we can 00:22:05.329 --> 00:22:08.250 work through application of it and how it works 00:22:08.250 --> 00:22:10.650 out. But if you look at all of those different 00:22:10.650 --> 00:22:13.029 things, they're generally meaning the very same 00:22:13.029 --> 00:22:17.230 type of submission to an authority that is over 00:22:17.230 --> 00:22:20.950 them. By the way, also to, again, to men, and 00:22:20.950 --> 00:22:24.890 I spoke about this, we men are to be submitted 00:22:24.890 --> 00:22:29.400 to Christ. He is our head and we must, Yield 00:22:29.400 --> 00:22:33.559 to him in the governing that we do. It's very 00:22:33.559 --> 00:22:39.640 important as well. Now, some say, and we'll get 00:22:39.640 --> 00:22:41.819 into this a little bit more in just a bit, but 00:22:41.819 --> 00:22:45.000 some say, well, this can't really mean that wives 00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:48.140 are to submit as in all of these other things. 00:22:48.200 --> 00:22:53.299 Somehow, the head is trying to be reinterpreted. 00:22:53.319 --> 00:22:58.289 And one of the ways that they... teach this is 00:22:58.289 --> 00:23:02.410 to go back to verse 21 of chapter 5 in which 00:23:02.410 --> 00:23:05.089 says that we are all to submit to one another 00:23:05.089 --> 00:23:08.210 in the fear of God and so submitting to one another 00:23:08.210 --> 00:23:11.029 in the fear of God sometimes called mutual submission 00:23:11.029 --> 00:23:14.009 means that everyone is submitted to each other 00:23:14.009 --> 00:23:18.690 and therefore there's no head no no order of 00:23:18.690 --> 00:23:21.990 authority we're all to submit to each other mutual 00:23:21.990 --> 00:23:26.309 submission but this passage Why would Paul mean 00:23:26.309 --> 00:23:30.250 that and then go on and give all sorts of examples 00:23:30.250 --> 00:23:33.769 of how this is to actually work out? Continuing 00:23:33.769 --> 00:23:37.190 in chapter 6, dealing with children and servants 00:23:37.190 --> 00:23:40.829 and masters and fathers. He deals with them all. 00:23:41.309 --> 00:23:46.410 So rather I think that Ephesians 5 .21 does not 00:23:46.410 --> 00:23:48.730 take away from the instructions that follow, 00:23:48.930 --> 00:23:52.250 but rather the next verses in chapter 5 and the 00:23:52.250 --> 00:23:56.450 first 9 of Ephesians 6 illustrate how this submission 00:23:56.450 --> 00:24:00.329 to one another works out. Because it works out 00:24:00.329 --> 00:24:04.049 in various ways, and yet all together we are 00:24:04.049 --> 00:24:06.849 submitting to one another in the fear of God. 00:24:07.410 --> 00:24:10.390 So wives, the submission of the church to Christ 00:24:10.390 --> 00:24:12.910 is your example of how your relationship with 00:24:12.910 --> 00:24:16.279 your husband is to be. Therefore, as the church 00:24:16.279 --> 00:24:20.259 submits itself to her head, Jesus Christ, so 00:24:20.259 --> 00:24:22.900 you and your marriage are to relate to your head, 00:24:23.079 --> 00:24:26.900 your husband. Now, we as Christians are all united 00:24:26.900 --> 00:24:30.240 in Christ. As we've spoken, there's no longer 00:24:30.240 --> 00:24:33.220 Jew or Gentile, male and female, slave nor free, 00:24:33.319 --> 00:24:36.539 because we're all one in Christ. This truth does 00:24:36.539 --> 00:24:39.160 not erase the distinctions, but rather frames 00:24:39.160 --> 00:24:43.519 them. As we are all united together in Christ 00:24:43.519 --> 00:24:46.339 as one body, but we have different gifts and 00:24:46.339 --> 00:24:49.099 different functions, and we operate with those 00:24:49.099 --> 00:24:52.000 that are given to us, so also there are still 00:24:52.000 --> 00:24:54.079 different bodies, natures, responsibilities, 00:24:54.240 --> 00:24:58.859 and roles. This does not destroy the unity that 00:24:58.859 --> 00:25:03.259 we have in Christ, but it does establish boundaries. 00:25:03.980 --> 00:25:09.000 Man and woman in Christ are one in Him, and yet 00:25:09.000 --> 00:25:13.660 distinct. individuals man and woman in marriage 00:25:13.660 --> 00:25:20.539 are one in covenant and one flesh and yet they 00:25:20.539 --> 00:25:24.039 are still distinct individuals they have different 00:25:24.039 --> 00:25:27.019 gifts they have different abilities no matter 00:25:27.019 --> 00:25:29.980 how much he might try a man can never bear a 00:25:29.980 --> 00:25:32.799 child there are some things that men simply cannot 00:25:32.799 --> 00:25:36.200 do they are They are in the realm and the gifting 00:25:36.200 --> 00:25:39.000 that God has given to women. There is a distinction 00:25:39.000 --> 00:25:42.740 even though we are one in covenant and one flesh. 00:25:43.500 --> 00:25:49.880 God created man to lead, to rule, to have a mission, 00:25:49.980 --> 00:25:53.099 and to take a wife who can help him because, 00:25:53.180 --> 00:25:58.170 as God said, it is not good. for man to be alone. 00:25:58.509 --> 00:26:01.369 Together, they take dominion onto the earth, 00:26:01.509 --> 00:26:04.130 they execute the mission that God has given to 00:26:04.130 --> 00:26:08.329 them, and they build a household. God made woman 00:26:08.329 --> 00:26:11.750 to be his helper, to respect him, to support 00:26:11.750 --> 00:26:14.890 and sustain him, to bear children and to nurture 00:26:14.890 --> 00:26:17.869 them, and to manage the household which they 00:26:17.869 --> 00:26:20.710 are building together, man and woman together 00:26:20.710 --> 00:26:23.950 in Christ. And in order that that household be 00:26:23.950 --> 00:26:27.589 built well and last, there must be a head and 00:26:27.589 --> 00:26:30.170 there must be one who helps him, who aids him 00:26:30.170 --> 00:26:34.710 and submits to his headship, just as we are workers 00:26:34.710 --> 00:26:39.269 together with Christ, 2 Corinthians 6, 1, and 00:26:39.269 --> 00:26:43.309 at the same time, he is our head and we submit 00:26:43.309 --> 00:26:46.609 to him. Understanding this in the context of 00:26:46.609 --> 00:26:49.710 marriage, the household and the church is very 00:26:49.710 --> 00:26:53.769 helpful. It is not demeaning for the church to 00:26:53.769 --> 00:26:59.009 submit to Christ. And so we gladly serve our 00:26:59.009 --> 00:27:02.289 Lord. And neither is it demeaning for a wife 00:27:02.289 --> 00:27:07.329 to submit to her husband. Now there is one difference. 00:27:07.369 --> 00:27:10.130 Even though it is given very clearly, we know 00:27:10.130 --> 00:27:13.630 that Christ cannot sin and we husbands sure can. 00:27:14.079 --> 00:27:16.559 We can make a mess of things. So there is that 00:27:16.559 --> 00:27:18.839 that has to be worked through. But that's part 00:27:18.839 --> 00:27:22.140 of why God gave you a helper. To be able to see 00:27:22.140 --> 00:27:25.099 those things and to work through them. And also 00:27:25.099 --> 00:27:28.660 to give warning and say, husband, I think this 00:27:28.660 --> 00:27:34.299 is not going to turn out right. Excuse me. But 00:27:34.299 --> 00:27:36.759 it's not demeaning. Each of us must understand 00:27:36.759 --> 00:27:39.140 our callings and responsibilities in Christ's 00:27:39.140 --> 00:27:41.440 kingdom. Now the command for this submission. 00:27:42.079 --> 00:27:44.279 is found quite a number of places in the New 00:27:44.279 --> 00:27:47.339 Testament. And this is why, one of the reasons 00:27:47.339 --> 00:27:50.200 why it is made a point of here in the marriage 00:27:50.200 --> 00:27:52.640 relationship. We've looked at it in Ephesians 00:27:52.640 --> 00:27:57.380 5, verse 24. Colossians 3, verse 18. Wives, submit 00:27:57.380 --> 00:28:00.079 yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit 00:28:00.079 --> 00:28:03.980 in the Lord. 1 Peter 3, in verse 1. Likewise, 00:28:04.059 --> 00:28:08.200 ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands. 00:28:09.119 --> 00:28:12.799 1 Corinthians 11, verse 3. But I would have you 00:28:12.799 --> 00:28:15.359 know that the head of every man is Christ, and 00:28:15.359 --> 00:28:17.660 the head of the woman is the man, and the head 00:28:17.660 --> 00:28:22.539 of Christ is God. Titus 2, verse 3 to 5. Older 00:28:22.539 --> 00:28:25.160 women are to admonish the younger women to do 00:28:25.160 --> 00:28:28.480 what? To love their husbands, to be obedient, 00:28:28.799 --> 00:28:31.640 so that the word of God might not be blasphemed, 00:28:31.700 --> 00:28:34.980 which means spoken of reproachfully, reviled, 00:28:35.079 --> 00:28:39.180 or discredited. And then in 1 Corinthians 14, 00:28:39.420 --> 00:28:42.799 verse 21. Paul admonishes the church in Corinth, 00:28:42.940 --> 00:28:46.079 says your women are to be submissive as the law 00:28:46.079 --> 00:28:49.519 also says. This is referring both to the creation 00:28:49.519 --> 00:28:52.819 order when Eve was created out of man to be a 00:28:52.819 --> 00:28:56.900 helper to him and the injunction given to Eve 00:28:56.900 --> 00:29:00.859 in Genesis 3 verse 16 after the fall. Your desire 00:29:00.859 --> 00:29:03.880 shall be for your husband and he shall rule over 00:29:03.880 --> 00:29:07.519 you. We also see this portrayed in 1 Timothy 00:29:07.519 --> 00:29:13.420 2, 11 to 14. Now, I say all of this knowing that 00:29:13.420 --> 00:29:17.140 I am just completely, what I'm teaching here 00:29:17.140 --> 00:29:19.119 that the word of God is saying is just completely 00:29:19.119 --> 00:29:22.680 counter to our culture, to our society in so 00:29:22.680 --> 00:29:25.359 many ways. In fact, in some places it would be 00:29:25.359 --> 00:29:28.759 regarded as hate speech. So I understand that, 00:29:28.819 --> 00:29:31.140 but I also am committed to teach the word of 00:29:31.140 --> 00:29:34.140 God as it is, not how we want to make it out 00:29:34.140 --> 00:29:38.509 to be. Or how anyone else wants to. So why is 00:29:38.509 --> 00:29:44.630 this command so opposed or twisted and interpreted 00:29:44.630 --> 00:29:48.309 to mean something other than what the plain meaning 00:29:48.309 --> 00:29:53.809 is? Why is this? Well, certainly, it is against 00:29:53.809 --> 00:29:57.480 the zeitgeist, the modern sensibilities. Feminism 00:29:57.480 --> 00:29:59.920 and the rejection of God's creation and order 00:29:59.920 --> 00:30:03.500 in many ways. Egalitarian values where a woman 00:30:03.500 --> 00:30:05.799 is supposed to do anything that a man can do. 00:30:05.920 --> 00:30:08.460 And there are no intrinsic differences other 00:30:08.460 --> 00:30:11.460 than parts of the body. Or the potential for 00:30:11.460 --> 00:30:13.920 the understanding of that, the false understanding 00:30:13.920 --> 00:30:17.680 of that. Or there's also the potential for misuse 00:30:17.680 --> 00:30:21.059 of justifying, controlling, or abusive behavior. 00:30:21.960 --> 00:30:24.720 Or it simply could be an independent spirit or 00:30:24.720 --> 00:30:27.619 even a democratic spirit where no one wants to 00:30:27.619 --> 00:30:30.460 be ruled or be under authority. All of these 00:30:30.460 --> 00:30:33.259 in our modern world are contributing factors 00:30:33.259 --> 00:30:38.400 to why this command is so misunderstood and opposed. 00:30:40.680 --> 00:30:45.140 However, I think the greatest reason is one that 00:30:45.140 --> 00:30:47.880 is not thought of many times and it is related 00:30:47.880 --> 00:30:54.200 to our first part. It is the loss of understanding 00:30:54.200 --> 00:31:01.099 of the concept of household. The concept of household 00:31:01.099 --> 00:31:06.779 and its function. Proverbs 31 shows how a wife 00:31:06.779 --> 00:31:09.579 acts under the headship and authority of her 00:31:09.579 --> 00:31:14.299 husband, but is a sturdy helper and manager of 00:31:14.299 --> 00:31:17.339 the household and is able to shoulder significant 00:31:17.339 --> 00:31:21.640 responsibilities. She is a woman of valor, a 00:31:21.640 --> 00:31:24.799 woman who directs the house, a woman who is strong, 00:31:24.940 --> 00:31:28.819 is active, and is competent. She is not a woman 00:31:28.819 --> 00:31:31.579 of weakness. She is not robbed of initiative. 00:31:31.740 --> 00:31:34.839 And rather than being like a servant, she is 00:31:34.839 --> 00:31:37.880 portrayed as a lieutenant general who is responsible 00:31:37.880 --> 00:31:41.420 for many things in the household. I have a book 00:31:41.420 --> 00:31:44.710 that's written, a really excellent book. It was 00:31:44.710 --> 00:31:46.529 out of print for quite some time, but it has 00:31:46.529 --> 00:31:48.990 recently been reprinted. It's called Man and 00:31:48.990 --> 00:31:52.430 Woman in Christ by Stephen Clark. And I'd like 00:31:52.430 --> 00:31:55.789 to read to you just briefly a summary of what 00:31:55.789 --> 00:32:00.789 he gives on page 63. He says, to summarize, as 00:32:00.789 --> 00:32:03.829 he's talking about the woman, the virtuous woman, 00:32:03.869 --> 00:32:06.410 he says, the passages examined here illustrate 00:32:06.410 --> 00:32:10.329 some important elements of the role of wife in 00:32:10.329 --> 00:32:15.099 Scripture. The wife is the ruler or manager of 00:32:15.099 --> 00:32:18.420 the household. She is the heart of household 00:32:18.420 --> 00:32:21.900 life, ordering the life of the household and 00:32:21.900 --> 00:32:24.920 seeing that the needs of the people in the household 00:32:24.920 --> 00:32:29.140 are met. She takes an active responsibility for 00:32:29.140 --> 00:32:32.420 the affairs of the house and is expected to handle 00:32:32.420 --> 00:32:37.950 them competently. She rules the house. in subordination 00:32:37.950 --> 00:32:41.250 to her husband but she rules the household nonetheless 00:32:41.250 --> 00:32:45.109 within the household her special concern is to 00:32:45.109 --> 00:32:47.849 see that the members of the household are served 00:32:47.849 --> 00:32:51.150 in their needs that they are fed clothed provided 00:32:51.150 --> 00:32:54.420 with what each needs to function well She makes 00:32:54.420 --> 00:32:57.539 the household a home, a place where others are 00:32:57.539 --> 00:33:00.519 strengthened and refreshed. The wife is a source 00:33:00.519 --> 00:33:03.299 of strength to her husband and to the other members 00:33:03.299 --> 00:33:05.500 of the household because of her personal service 00:33:05.500 --> 00:33:08.380 to them. Finally, she is actively involved in 00:33:08.380 --> 00:33:11.359 what we call charity work. She serves the needy 00:33:11.359 --> 00:33:14.759 of the community either personally or by seeing 00:33:14.759 --> 00:33:17.240 that the other members of the household. provide 00:33:17.240 --> 00:33:20.819 help. It's an excellent summary. I'd really encourage 00:33:20.819 --> 00:33:25.799 it. It's a good book to read. The loss of this 00:33:25.799 --> 00:33:29.440 understanding has contributed, well, let me rephrase 00:33:29.440 --> 00:33:32.200 that. The loss of this understanding and the 00:33:32.200 --> 00:33:35.500 mistaking it by, in many ways, the Victorian 00:33:35.500 --> 00:33:40.259 ideal, at least in some, that was portrayed of 00:33:40.259 --> 00:33:42.980 that a woman is more like a wallflower. She's 00:33:42.980 --> 00:33:47.390 to be very carefully protected against all sorts 00:33:47.390 --> 00:33:50.809 of work like this or managing. She's just let 00:33:50.809 --> 00:33:52.930 everyone else do it. And she's just supposed 00:33:52.930 --> 00:33:55.910 to be, she is supposed to be cherished, but the 00:33:55.910 --> 00:33:59.569 cherish was like protect her from even the possibility 00:33:59.569 --> 00:34:03.730 of something bad going wrong. That ideal, I think, 00:34:03.730 --> 00:34:08.789 gave rise to many of the reactions to it rather 00:34:08.789 --> 00:34:13.389 than understanding as a sturdy. Helper and ruler 00:34:13.389 --> 00:34:16.269 of the household. That's why I'm making this 00:34:16.269 --> 00:34:20.150 point. Now, I do not deny that feminism has had 00:34:20.150 --> 00:34:23.809 great impact. But again, feminism arose in part 00:34:23.809 --> 00:34:26.349 because of the loss of understanding of household. 00:34:26.829 --> 00:34:31.289 I will say, this loss was exacerbated when men 00:34:31.289 --> 00:34:34.869 went off the factory to work instead of having 00:34:34.869 --> 00:34:38.420 even a small household with some land. The home, 00:34:38.440 --> 00:34:41.179 instead of a place of productivity, became a 00:34:41.179 --> 00:34:45.679 place to rest and to sleep. Before this, most 00:34:45.679 --> 00:34:48.579 people lived in small towns or cities, but either 00:34:48.579 --> 00:34:50.980 owned land outside the town or worked in the 00:34:50.980 --> 00:34:54.719 land or in shops in some way, many with family 00:34:54.719 --> 00:34:58.059 enterprises. I do not have time today to fully 00:34:58.059 --> 00:35:00.360 describe the social upheaval that took place 00:35:00.360 --> 00:35:04.800 because of this shift, but it is huge. And so 00:35:04.800 --> 00:35:07.360 I just give it to you as just a thought on this. 00:35:07.500 --> 00:35:10.320 If you would like more historical perspective 00:35:10.320 --> 00:35:13.639 on the changes that happened and how to deal 00:35:13.639 --> 00:35:16.460 with them now, there's a whole number of books 00:35:16.460 --> 00:35:19.480 that are on it. It's C .R. Wiley's book, The 00:35:19.480 --> 00:35:22.139 Household and the War for the Cosmos, and also 00:35:22.139 --> 00:35:25.940 Man of the House. Alan Carlson wrote an excellent 00:35:25.940 --> 00:35:29.079 book, The American Way, Family and Community 00:35:29.079 --> 00:35:32.280 in the Shaping of the American Identity. Nancy 00:35:32.280 --> 00:35:35.300 Peercy wrote Total Truth and also The Toxic War 00:35:35.300 --> 00:35:38.880 and Masculinity. And there are more. All of them 00:35:38.880 --> 00:35:42.500 get into this in much greater detail. So why 00:35:42.500 --> 00:35:45.840 is this emphasized so in the New Testament when 00:35:45.840 --> 00:35:49.360 talking about wives? Why were they commanded 00:35:49.360 --> 00:35:53.750 to submit? There's a couple of reasons. It was 00:35:53.750 --> 00:35:56.170 so from creation. The woman was made for man 00:35:56.170 --> 00:35:59.590 and for the man to be a helper to him. Therefore, 00:35:59.730 --> 00:36:02.690 in order to maintain order in households, this 00:36:02.690 --> 00:36:05.309 was a code that was workable and it modeled the 00:36:05.309 --> 00:36:08.170 hierarchy that God established on the earth and 00:36:08.170 --> 00:36:10.829 later also revealed in Christ and the church. 00:36:11.010 --> 00:36:14.769 It's the way the world works. This is an example 00:36:14.769 --> 00:36:18.409 of how the church is to submit to Christ, a clear, 00:36:18.449 --> 00:36:21.570 earthy, demonstrable model of that submission. 00:36:22.230 --> 00:36:24.710 The picture of the church as the body of Jesus 00:36:24.710 --> 00:36:27.369 Christ is not developed until after Christ comes. 00:36:27.610 --> 00:36:31.769 And marriage, Paul tells us, and Jesus speaks 00:36:31.769 --> 00:36:34.750 to it some, but especially here in Ephesians 00:36:34.750 --> 00:36:38.309 and in others, marriage is a huge road sign pointing 00:36:38.309 --> 00:36:42.070 to the relationship of Christ in the church. 00:36:43.289 --> 00:36:47.550 And then we also know to see that Christ is, 00:36:47.670 --> 00:36:52.219 in being the second Adam, And in redeeming his 00:36:52.219 --> 00:36:57.639 people, the fallen creation order is being restored 00:36:57.639 --> 00:37:03.179 through Christ -like love from the head to the 00:37:03.179 --> 00:37:07.260 wife. Households are being renewed through the 00:37:07.260 --> 00:37:12.300 gospel to model the original plan and the gospel 00:37:12.300 --> 00:37:16.079 is being lived out in the world. Again, I repeat 00:37:16.079 --> 00:37:19.199 this. In Christ, who is the second Adam, the 00:37:19.199 --> 00:37:24.400 fallen creation order is being restored through 00:37:24.400 --> 00:37:28.280 husbands loving their wives like Christ and through 00:37:28.280 --> 00:37:30.820 wives submitting to their husbands as the church 00:37:30.820 --> 00:37:35.960 does to Christ. After the fall. Sin distorted 00:37:35.960 --> 00:37:39.119 the original creation order. Marriage became 00:37:39.119 --> 00:37:42.800 a tug of war where the man's temptation was to 00:37:42.800 --> 00:37:48.860 rule in a tyrannical manner or to be lazy and 00:37:48.860 --> 00:37:52.460 abdicate his responsibility. And the woman's 00:37:52.460 --> 00:37:55.500 temptation was to grasp the rule for themselves, 00:37:55.940 --> 00:37:59.280 rebel against the created order, and upend it. 00:37:59.400 --> 00:38:04.150 But the gospel redeems both. the abuses, and 00:38:04.150 --> 00:38:07.889 the distortions. Husbands go from tyrannical 00:38:07.889 --> 00:38:12.889 role or abdication to loving headship and loving 00:38:12.889 --> 00:38:16.050 their wives like Christ loved the church. Wives 00:38:16.050 --> 00:38:20.070 go from rebellious grasping to gracious submission 00:38:20.070 --> 00:38:23.670 like the church to Christ. When we lose sight 00:38:23.670 --> 00:38:27.650 of this, things get murky and cloudy and they 00:38:27.650 --> 00:38:31.750 seem arbitrary, demanding, and not fair. If we 00:38:31.750 --> 00:38:34.710 miss it, The living illustration and demonstration 00:38:34.710 --> 00:38:40.409 is all messed up. Now, let me say, before I move 00:38:40.409 --> 00:38:42.789 on here, submission is something that cannot 00:38:42.789 --> 00:38:46.510 be coerced. Men, you need to hear this. Submission 00:38:46.510 --> 00:38:50.210 is not something that is coerced. You don't pound 00:38:50.210 --> 00:38:53.570 the table and say, you need to. It doesn't work. 00:38:53.889 --> 00:38:56.789 It's not something that is coerced, where you 00:38:56.789 --> 00:38:59.190 try to put your wife in some type of a squeeze 00:38:59.190 --> 00:39:05.119 box. No. Marriage submission must be given freely. 00:39:05.340 --> 00:39:08.980 A willing alignment with a God -ordained structure 00:39:08.980 --> 00:39:13.139 and not blind obedience to abusive demands. This 00:39:13.139 --> 00:39:16.440 is why the marriage oath is entered by both man 00:39:16.440 --> 00:39:20.460 and woman before God with witnesses. And they 00:39:20.460 --> 00:39:23.960 each vow and swear to the other that they will 00:39:23.960 --> 00:39:27.460 perform their responsibilities and their duties. 00:39:27.860 --> 00:39:32.880 Each one of them. Go look at the marriage vows 00:39:32.880 --> 00:39:35.659 again and see how they're structured. Before 00:39:35.659 --> 00:39:39.079 God and these witnesses, I will do this, says 00:39:39.079 --> 00:39:43.280 the husband. I will do this, says the wife. They 00:39:43.280 --> 00:39:46.260 come together in this covenant relationship, 00:39:46.719 --> 00:39:56.650 each agreeing to do their part. Now, Obviously 00:39:56.650 --> 00:39:58.750 the question comes up, so what if my husband 00:39:58.750 --> 00:40:01.889 is not a Christian? Or he is a Christian but 00:40:01.889 --> 00:40:06.670 is disobedient. Now 1 Corinthians 7 verses 10 00:40:06.670 --> 00:40:08.969 to 16, and I'm not going to take time to read 00:40:08.969 --> 00:40:11.769 this right now, but basically tells us there 00:40:11.769 --> 00:40:14.909 if an unbelieving spouse decides to leave and 00:40:14.909 --> 00:40:17.170 is not willing to live with the believer, then 00:40:17.170 --> 00:40:19.429 you are no longer bound. You let them depart 00:40:19.429 --> 00:40:23.519 and you are free. If they are willing to stay 00:40:23.519 --> 00:40:26.599 with you, then live as a Christian and let your 00:40:26.599 --> 00:40:29.980 light shine. For then you might be an instrument 00:40:29.980 --> 00:40:33.719 of salvation that God uses in them. This is expanded 00:40:33.719 --> 00:40:38.119 and amplified in 1 Peter 3. It says, wives, likewise, 00:40:38.340 --> 00:40:41.840 be submissive to your own husbands, that even 00:40:41.840 --> 00:40:46.480 if some do not obey the word. They, without a 00:40:46.480 --> 00:40:50.119 word, may be won by the conduct of their wives 00:40:50.119 --> 00:40:53.880 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied 00:40:53.880 --> 00:40:58.420 by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely 00:40:58.420 --> 00:41:01.519 outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold, or 00:41:01.519 --> 00:41:04.820 putting on fine apparel. Rather, let it be the 00:41:04.820 --> 00:41:09.320 hidden person of the heart with the incorruptible 00:41:09.320 --> 00:41:13.869 beauty. of a gentle and a quiet spirit, which 00:41:13.869 --> 00:41:17.469 is very precious in the sight of God. For in 00:41:17.469 --> 00:41:21.230 this manner, in former times, the holy women 00:41:21.230 --> 00:41:24.829 who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being 00:41:24.829 --> 00:41:28.150 submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed 00:41:28.150 --> 00:41:31.010 Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you 00:41:31.010 --> 00:41:33.989 are if you do good and are not afraid with any 00:41:33.989 --> 00:41:37.159 terror. This is the counsel that is given to 00:41:37.159 --> 00:41:40.139 Peter. Obviously, there can be many extenuating 00:41:40.139 --> 00:41:43.239 circumstances and I can have not time to get 00:41:43.239 --> 00:41:46.380 into them. But that is where you need godly wisdom 00:41:46.380 --> 00:41:49.920 and counsel. You need godly wisdom and counsel 00:41:49.920 --> 00:41:53.320 if you are in a situation like that. And I would 00:41:53.320 --> 00:41:56.880 encourage you to get it, to seek it out. Faithful 00:41:56.880 --> 00:42:03.460 and wise counsel. Well, the scriptures. Speed 00:42:03.460 --> 00:42:08.199 describe a faithful wife in many ways. A fruitful 00:42:08.199 --> 00:42:10.940 vine in the very heart of your house. Psalm 128 00:42:10.940 --> 00:42:14.280 verse 3. A woman who fears the Lord who shall 00:42:14.280 --> 00:42:18.039 be praised. Proverbs 31 verse 30. A wife who's 00:42:18.039 --> 00:42:21.039 trusted by her husband. Proverbs 31 verse 11. 00:42:21.460 --> 00:42:24.679 As daughters of Sarah who modeled obedience to 00:42:24.679 --> 00:42:27.039 her husband and had faith in God. As Hebrews 00:42:27.039 --> 00:42:44.539 11 verse 11. Scriptures speak of a faithful wife 00:42:44.539 --> 00:42:46.940 as one who is ornamented with the incorruptible 00:42:46.940 --> 00:42:50.739 beauty of a gentle and a quiet spirit. What does 00:42:50.739 --> 00:42:53.820 faithfulness look like? The older women teach 00:42:53.820 --> 00:42:56.659 the younger women these things. Notice the emphasis 00:42:56.659 --> 00:43:00.239 here again. on the various responsibilities and 00:43:00.239 --> 00:43:04.739 the attention to domestic duties. Titus 2, 3 00:43:04.739 --> 00:43:07.940 -5, the older women likewise, that they be reverent 00:43:07.940 --> 00:43:11.019 in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much 00:43:11.019 --> 00:43:14.380 wine, teachers of good things, that they admonish 00:43:14.380 --> 00:43:17.260 the young women to love their husbands, to love 00:43:17.260 --> 00:43:20.840 their children, to be discreet, chaste, keeper 00:43:20.840 --> 00:43:24.619 of the home. good, obedient to their own husbands, 00:43:24.699 --> 00:43:28.460 that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Also 00:43:28.460 --> 00:43:32.179 1 Timothy 5 and verse 10, a widow indeed is to 00:43:32.179 --> 00:43:36.139 be well reported for good works. If she has brought 00:43:36.139 --> 00:43:39.199 up children, if she has lodged strangers, if 00:43:39.199 --> 00:43:42.159 she has washed the saints feet, if she has relieved 00:43:42.159 --> 00:43:44.760 the afflicted, if she has diligently followed 00:43:44.760 --> 00:43:49.860 every good work. I'd like to close now with just 00:43:49.860 --> 00:43:54.829 a few After the extended discourse on marriage 00:43:54.829 --> 00:43:56.849 and the parallels with Christ and the church, 00:43:57.010 --> 00:43:59.989 the five different parallels, the apostle ends 00:43:59.989 --> 00:44:02.269 with this exhortation, both to the husband and 00:44:02.269 --> 00:44:05.590 to the wife in chapter five, verse 33 of Ephesians. 00:44:05.650 --> 00:44:09.349 He says, nevertheless, this is a glorious mystery. 00:44:09.510 --> 00:44:13.510 All this is, there's intricate things here and 00:44:13.510 --> 00:44:17.610 some of it is mysterious, but nevertheless, let 00:44:17.610 --> 00:44:21.289 each of you in particular so love. his own wife 00:44:21.289 --> 00:44:25.769 as himself. And the wife see that she respects 00:44:25.769 --> 00:44:32.849 her husband. Now, a whole host of questions can 00:44:32.849 --> 00:44:36.429 arise. But what if my husband isn't leading well? 00:44:36.769 --> 00:44:41.250 Or what if he is making mistakes? What if he 00:44:41.250 --> 00:44:45.110 is asking me to sin? Should I then still do that? 00:44:46.409 --> 00:44:48.550 And we can go through and answer some of those, 00:44:48.610 --> 00:44:51.590 but some of them also will need wisdom and wise 00:44:51.590 --> 00:44:55.070 counsel. But one of them I'd like to set real 00:44:55.070 --> 00:44:57.630 clear. If your husband is asking you to sin, 00:44:57.829 --> 00:45:00.929 then you are answerable to God and you should 00:45:00.929 --> 00:45:03.429 not commit that sin. We see an example of that 00:45:03.429 --> 00:45:06.650 in Abigail. The story of Abigail and Nabal, her 00:45:06.650 --> 00:45:10.610 husband was a very wicked man. He brushed off 00:45:10.610 --> 00:45:13.539 David's servants and was... And so David was 00:45:13.539 --> 00:45:16.480 angry about it. David came. He was going to destroy 00:45:16.480 --> 00:45:19.119 everyone, everything the man owned, level the 00:45:19.119 --> 00:45:22.260 place, destroy everyone. And Abigail, who heard 00:45:22.260 --> 00:45:25.940 of it, came to David and said, I know that this 00:45:25.940 --> 00:45:29.199 man is a wicked man, but here is some food that 00:45:29.199 --> 00:45:31.699 you have requested. And please don't do this. 00:45:32.239 --> 00:45:35.039 And it all ended up much better. And eventually 00:45:35.039 --> 00:45:36.880 then when she went back and told her husband 00:45:36.880 --> 00:45:39.840 what he died, his heart, it's kind of his spirit 00:45:39.840 --> 00:45:41.619 went out of him and says his heart became like 00:45:41.619 --> 00:45:43.760 stone. And I think it was the next morning or 00:45:43.760 --> 00:45:46.219 a few days later, he was dead. He was struck 00:45:46.219 --> 00:45:51.079 down. And then she became David's wife. So that's 00:45:51.079 --> 00:45:53.960 just one example. I would just say in all of 00:45:53.960 --> 00:45:57.320 this, you need to trust God in all of this. As 00:45:57.320 --> 00:46:00.820 1 Peter 3 brings about, I cannot guarantee that 00:46:00.820 --> 00:46:03.320 there are not hard circumstances in life. We 00:46:03.320 --> 00:46:08.199 all experience hard circumstances in life, difficulty 00:46:08.199 --> 00:46:13.300 in various ways. It might be a really tough financial 00:46:13.300 --> 00:46:16.139 situation that you can't get out of and you don't 00:46:16.139 --> 00:46:17.800 know how to deal with. You might have creditors 00:46:17.800 --> 00:46:21.039 or whatever. It might be a job and you need to 00:46:21.039 --> 00:46:23.420 provide for your family and there's nothing else 00:46:23.420 --> 00:46:25.800 that you have and your boss is absolutely terrible. 00:46:26.059 --> 00:46:28.119 And so you have to know how to deal with that. 00:46:28.199 --> 00:46:31.300 Or you might be a wife in a very difficult situation. 00:46:32.340 --> 00:46:35.699 All of these require wisdom and grace from God. 00:46:36.059 --> 00:46:38.780 The passages that I've given you give you some 00:46:38.780 --> 00:46:41.559 glimmer. They give you an understanding. But 00:46:41.559 --> 00:46:44.480 there's many different ways to address them and 00:46:44.480 --> 00:46:46.820 they need to be done with biblical wisdom and 00:46:46.820 --> 00:46:51.699 with charity. Now, you might also say, well, 00:46:51.820 --> 00:46:55.440 what if I'm not a wife like this and I'm not 00:46:55.440 --> 00:46:57.800 an example of how the church submits to Christ? 00:46:59.059 --> 00:47:01.500 Then I will give you the same advice. That I 00:47:01.500 --> 00:47:04.920 gave you to the men last week. What if I'm not 00:47:04.920 --> 00:47:07.599 a husband as God given me? And that is these 00:47:07.599 --> 00:47:11.119 three simple things. You repent. You mortify 00:47:11.119 --> 00:47:13.719 and put to death the deeds of the flesh. And 00:47:13.719 --> 00:47:17.239 you obey Christ. All of this requires the power 00:47:17.239 --> 00:47:20.019 of the Holy Spirit. And that is the case here 00:47:20.019 --> 00:47:23.940 as well for you wives. If your marriage does 00:47:23.940 --> 00:47:25.920 not look like this. If you're not an example 00:47:25.920 --> 00:47:28.539 of how the church submits to Christ. Then repent 00:47:28.539 --> 00:47:33.090 of it. Put to death. the sins by the grace and 00:47:33.090 --> 00:47:36.210 the power of the Holy Spirit and be obedient 00:47:36.210 --> 00:47:40.750 to Christ. Next week, we'd like to put all of 00:47:40.750 --> 00:47:43.690 this back together and consider the whole picture 00:47:43.690 --> 00:47:46.449 in what I believe will be the last sermon in 00:47:46.449 --> 00:47:49.210 this series, that of covenant faithfulness and 00:47:49.210 --> 00:47:51.929 the sanctification of marriage. So we'll look 00:47:51.929 --> 00:47:54.630 forward to that. I will close again with these 00:47:54.630 --> 00:48:00.210 words from chapter 8 and 9 of 1 Peter 3. Finally, 00:48:00.449 --> 00:48:06.230 all of you, be of one mind, having compassion 00:48:06.230 --> 00:48:11.429 one for another, love as brothers, be tenderhearted, 00:48:11.650 --> 00:48:16.010 be courteous, not returning evil for evil or 00:48:16.010 --> 00:48:19.789 reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, wise 00:48:19.789 --> 00:48:23.239 blessing, knowing. that you were called to this, 00:48:23.320 --> 00:48:27.039 that you may inherit a blessing. May it be so, 00:48:27.119 --> 00:48:31.360 and may God give you grace in this. Let's close 00:48:31.360 --> 00:48:31.739 in prayer.