WEBVTT 00:00:02.189 --> 00:00:04.710 I'd like to continue the sermon from last week 00:00:04.710 --> 00:00:09.490 on Husbands and Wives, Christ and the Church, 00:00:09.750 --> 00:00:15.570 Part 2. Our text today will be first from the 00:00:15.570 --> 00:00:18.850 book of Ephesians, chapter 5, verses 22 to 33. 00:00:20.230 --> 00:00:23.710 And then we will also consider a few passages 00:00:23.710 --> 00:00:29.429 from 1 Peter 3. Now, just a quick word as we 00:00:29.429 --> 00:00:32.609 get into this. If you're a person here and you're 00:00:32.609 --> 00:00:35.490 not married, even though this sermon is on marriage, 00:00:35.689 --> 00:00:39.170 may it also give you encouragement, may it give 00:00:39.170 --> 00:00:42.409 you wisdom, and if you're young, may it give 00:00:42.409 --> 00:00:44.329 you something to look forward to and to prepare 00:00:44.329 --> 00:00:48.590 for. So I encourage you to heed it carefully 00:00:48.590 --> 00:00:51.490 as well. Here's the word of the Lord, beginning 00:00:51.490 --> 00:00:55.310 in verse 22 of chapter 5 of Ephesians. Wives, 00:00:55.310 --> 00:00:58.909 submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For 00:00:58.909 --> 00:01:01.490 the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ 00:01:01.490 --> 00:01:04.230 is head of the church, and he is the Savior of 00:01:04.230 --> 00:01:07.510 the body. Therefore, as the church is subject 00:01:07.510 --> 00:01:10.969 to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands 00:01:10.969 --> 00:01:14.790 in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just 00:01:14.790 --> 00:01:17.530 as Christ also loved the church and gave himself 00:01:17.530 --> 00:01:20.819 for her. that he might sanctify and cleanse her 00:01:20.819 --> 00:01:24.140 with the washing of the water by the word, that 00:01:24.140 --> 00:01:27.819 he might present her to himself a glorious church, 00:01:28.060 --> 00:01:31.379 not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, 00:01:31.560 --> 00:01:34.719 but that she should be holy and without blemish. 00:01:34.819 --> 00:01:38.840 So husbands ought to love their own wives as 00:01:38.840 --> 00:01:42.519 their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves 00:01:42.519 --> 00:01:45.909 himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, 00:01:46.090 --> 00:01:49.370 but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord 00:01:49.370 --> 00:01:52.890 does the church. For we are members of his body, 00:01:53.010 --> 00:01:56.790 of his flesh, and of his bones. For this reason, 00:01:56.829 --> 00:01:59.530 a man shall leave his father and mother and be 00:01:59.530 --> 00:02:02.189 joined to his wife, and the two shall become 00:02:02.189 --> 00:02:06.890 one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak 00:02:06.890 --> 00:02:09.750 concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, 00:02:10.210 --> 00:02:13.219 let each one of you in particular So love his 00:02:13.219 --> 00:02:17.400 own wife as himself and let the wife see that 00:02:17.400 --> 00:02:20.599 she respects her husband. Let's bow together 00:02:20.599 --> 00:02:24.379 for prayer. Father, thank you for these words. 00:02:24.439 --> 00:02:28.520 Lord, thank you for the clarity of this passage 00:02:28.520 --> 00:02:31.900 in Ephesians. But Lord, at the same time, we 00:02:31.900 --> 00:02:34.020 pray that you would give us greater understanding 00:02:34.020 --> 00:02:37.039 and we pray that you would give us obedient hearts. 00:02:37.560 --> 00:02:39.639 We ask, Lord, that you would fill us with the 00:02:39.639 --> 00:02:42.300 wisdom that we need, but also, Lord, help us 00:02:42.300 --> 00:02:45.699 to act on that wisdom and not just to take it 00:02:45.699 --> 00:02:48.659 in as something esoteric or as something just 00:02:48.659 --> 00:02:51.419 that it's food for the mind, but rather that 00:02:51.419 --> 00:02:54.000 it would affect our actions and our attitudes 00:02:54.000 --> 00:02:57.759 and our love one for each other. Lord, we pray 00:02:57.759 --> 00:03:00.340 that as a result of this, you would increase 00:03:00.340 --> 00:03:04.379 the flame of love between husbands and wives 00:03:04.379 --> 00:03:08.479 even much more. We ask this in Jesus' name. Amen. 00:03:12.919 --> 00:03:16.300 It is the will and the command of God that in 00:03:16.300 --> 00:03:20.460 the normal course of human events, man and woman 00:03:20.460 --> 00:03:24.740 should be united in marriage, in holy matrimony. 00:03:25.259 --> 00:03:30.740 This marriage is to reflect the glorious mystery 00:03:30.740 --> 00:03:36.300 of Christ and of his bride, the church. Now, 00:03:36.300 --> 00:03:38.740 I've already spoken of the purposes for marriage 00:03:38.740 --> 00:03:42.219 from creation, and then we started looking at 00:03:42.219 --> 00:03:45.879 the components of marriage, which is that a man 00:03:45.879 --> 00:03:49.180 and a woman must come together in holy matrimony, 00:03:49.180 --> 00:03:52.159 and they are joined together by covenant and 00:03:52.159 --> 00:03:57.280 become one flesh. This union, this holy and mysterious 00:03:57.280 --> 00:04:01.520 action, is a living illustration of the union 00:04:01.520 --> 00:04:05.330 of Christ and of his church. Now last week I 00:04:05.330 --> 00:04:07.669 listed four parallels between Christ and the 00:04:07.669 --> 00:04:10.430 church from this passage and I spoke on two of 00:04:10.430 --> 00:04:14.710 them. But I missed one. And so today I plan to 00:04:14.710 --> 00:04:17.550 speak on the other three. So there are five parallels. 00:04:17.829 --> 00:04:20.290 Last week we looked at these two. The husband 00:04:20.290 --> 00:04:22.389 is the head of his wife as Christ is head of 00:04:22.389 --> 00:04:24.790 the church. We see the parallel between the two. 00:04:25.170 --> 00:04:28.250 And also then husbands are to love their wives 00:04:28.250 --> 00:04:34.279 as Christ loves the church. I'd like to follow 00:04:34.279 --> 00:04:37.139 up in the last three from this passage. That 00:04:37.139 --> 00:04:40.300 is these three. Husbands are to love their wives 00:04:40.300 --> 00:04:48.259 as their own bodies, just like Christ loves his 00:04:48.259 --> 00:04:53.899 body, the church. Second, a man is to leave his 00:04:53.899 --> 00:04:57.000 father and mother and be joined to his wife. 00:04:57.829 --> 00:05:00.329 This is paralleled by the fact that Christian 00:05:00.329 --> 00:05:04.170 believers, by faith, are united with Christ, 00:05:04.410 --> 00:05:08.410 members of Christ's body, of his flesh, and of 00:05:08.410 --> 00:05:13.250 his bones. This is from verses 30 and 31. And 00:05:13.250 --> 00:05:17.029 then finally, just as the church is subject to 00:05:17.029 --> 00:05:22.350 Christ, being in submission to him, so also the 00:05:22.350 --> 00:05:26.490 wife is to be to her own husband as to the Lord. 00:05:26.689 --> 00:05:31.209 This is from verse 22, verse 24, and spoken of 00:05:31.209 --> 00:05:36.610 at the very end of verse 33. So looking at these, 00:05:36.709 --> 00:05:41.449 desired here that the Lord would show us, give 00:05:41.449 --> 00:05:44.889 us great clarity on this in the blessing and 00:05:44.889 --> 00:05:47.410 the healing and the working in our own marriages. 00:05:48.319 --> 00:05:51.980 If I have time, I also hope to dig into 1 Peter 00:05:51.980 --> 00:05:55.000 3 a little bit, but I didn't read it because 00:05:55.000 --> 00:05:57.019 I'm not sure if I'm going to have time. So if 00:05:57.019 --> 00:05:59.540 I get there and I have time, then I'll read it 00:05:59.540 --> 00:06:03.199 and make some comments about it. But I do want 00:06:03.199 --> 00:06:05.579 to point out, though, that the final exhortation 00:06:05.579 --> 00:06:09.319 in 1 Peter 3 is one that we do well to consider 00:06:09.319 --> 00:06:12.569 as we're looking at the component parts. Looking 00:06:12.569 --> 00:06:15.350 here at the husband, the wife, their relationship 00:06:15.350 --> 00:06:19.139 to each other and how it differs. but there's 00:06:19.139 --> 00:06:21.439 also to be a mutual love and an understanding 00:06:21.439 --> 00:06:24.459 and a submission to Christ together. Well, in 00:06:24.459 --> 00:06:27.759 1 Peter chapter 3, after he discusses in verses 00:06:27.759 --> 00:06:32.459 1 to 6 about women, and then in verse 7 to men, 00:06:32.720 --> 00:06:35.519 he then says these wonderful words in verses 00:06:35.519 --> 00:06:39.959 8 to 9. He says that all should be of one mind, 00:06:40.040 --> 00:06:45.779 having compassion for one another. Love as brothers. 00:06:46.350 --> 00:06:49.370 Be tenderhearted, be courteous, not returning 00:06:49.370 --> 00:06:53.050 evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on 00:06:53.050 --> 00:06:56.970 the contrary, wise blessing, knowing that you 00:06:56.970 --> 00:07:00.550 were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing. 00:07:01.170 --> 00:07:05.870 So now keep this in mind because as we are married 00:07:05.870 --> 00:07:09.250 together, we are husband and we are wives. There's 00:07:09.250 --> 00:07:12.029 husbands, there's wives, but we are also one 00:07:12.029 --> 00:07:15.459 in Christ. We are brothers and sisters in Christ 00:07:15.459 --> 00:07:19.500 as well as being a husband and a wife. And there 00:07:19.500 --> 00:07:22.279 are certain qualities, there are certain things 00:07:22.279 --> 00:07:26.000 that should be present in all of us as we are 00:07:26.000 --> 00:07:28.519 married together. And Peter speaks of these. 00:07:28.639 --> 00:07:31.579 He says we're to be of one mind. That is, we 00:07:31.579 --> 00:07:34.740 strive to be of one mind in these things, to 00:07:34.740 --> 00:07:37.339 have a common understanding, not only of the 00:07:37.339 --> 00:07:40.000 relationships of marriage, but over a Christian 00:07:40.000 --> 00:07:43.540 doctrine. We try to be of one mind. mind and 00:07:43.540 --> 00:07:47.000 we are also to have compassion one for another 00:07:47.000 --> 00:07:50.480 and so as we think about when i speak to the 00:07:50.480 --> 00:07:53.379 men uh and you know i don't want you to get puffed 00:07:53.379 --> 00:07:57.120 up and say look at me here or really be down 00:07:57.120 --> 00:08:00.019 oh man i can never do this but have compassion 00:08:00.019 --> 00:08:03.139 one for another so wives let's have some compassion 00:08:03.139 --> 00:08:06.410 for our husbands they do need it honestly we 00:08:06.410 --> 00:08:10.129 do sometimes but at the same time men let's have 00:08:10.129 --> 00:08:14.269 compassion for our wives in what god has given 00:08:14.269 --> 00:08:17.660 to them They face things that we don't, both 00:08:17.660 --> 00:08:20.459 the same and the other. Right now, there's a 00:08:20.459 --> 00:08:23.379 few pregnant women that are here, and you're 00:08:23.379 --> 00:08:25.699 blessed with bearing a child. This is something 00:08:25.699 --> 00:08:28.259 that a man will never understand. He will never 00:08:28.259 --> 00:08:31.680 understand the pain, the emotional upheaval, 00:08:31.680 --> 00:08:34.799 and all that goes in, the changing of your body 00:08:34.799 --> 00:08:39.179 and of bearing another human being. So have compassion 00:08:39.179 --> 00:08:44.190 on her. So together we have compassion one with 00:08:44.190 --> 00:08:48.190 another. We are to love, love fondly. The scripture 00:08:48.190 --> 00:08:50.129 says here, love as brothers. That is, there's 00:08:50.129 --> 00:08:53.990 to be a close love. And with that love comes 00:08:53.990 --> 00:08:59.470 tenderheartedness with each other and courtesy. 00:08:59.990 --> 00:09:02.590 Yeah, you know what, men? You're supposed to 00:09:02.590 --> 00:09:05.389 be courteous to your wives and wives courteous 00:09:05.389 --> 00:09:13.570 to your husband. Courtesy, even just common courtesy 00:09:13.570 --> 00:09:17.409 will go a long way in building up your relationship 00:09:17.409 --> 00:09:23.639 together. Courteous. And on top of that. Not 00:09:23.639 --> 00:09:26.620 returning evil for evil or reviling for reliving. 00:09:26.659 --> 00:09:28.379 Well, you said this to me and you were angry, 00:09:28.460 --> 00:09:31.059 so I can be angry back at you or whatever else 00:09:31.059 --> 00:09:34.320 it might be. We're not to return evil for evil. 00:09:34.399 --> 00:09:37.179 The fact that your husband sins does not give 00:09:37.179 --> 00:09:40.659 you the right to sin and vice versa, or the right 00:09:40.659 --> 00:09:43.419 that one shouts at the other. So we shout back 00:09:43.419 --> 00:09:46.980 or we get into conflict and feelings and all 00:09:46.980 --> 00:09:49.610 of these things. We're not to return evil for 00:09:49.610 --> 00:09:52.830 evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, 00:09:52.970 --> 00:09:56.230 blessing. We are called to this so that we might 00:09:56.230 --> 00:10:00.309 inherit a blessing. Now, all of that is just 00:10:00.309 --> 00:10:03.490 dessert because we're going to get into the meat 00:10:03.490 --> 00:10:05.710 of things. But I think it's crucial for us to 00:10:05.710 --> 00:10:08.429 understand this, that as we look at the component 00:10:08.429 --> 00:10:13.009 parts, it's all framed by this type of living 00:10:13.009 --> 00:10:17.460 together. I would to God that every home that 00:10:17.460 --> 00:10:20.320 is in this congregation would reflect this kind 00:10:20.320 --> 00:10:23.759 of qualities, that we would be of one mind, that 00:10:23.759 --> 00:10:26.419 we would have compassion for one another, that 00:10:26.419 --> 00:10:29.080 we would love each other sincerely, that we would 00:10:29.080 --> 00:10:32.120 be tenderhearted towards each other, that we 00:10:32.120 --> 00:10:35.360 would extend common and Christian courtesy to 00:10:35.360 --> 00:10:38.149 one another. That we would not return evil for 00:10:38.149 --> 00:10:41.269 evil or reviling for reviling, but that we would 00:10:41.269 --> 00:10:44.330 bless one another, even when the other one isn't 00:10:44.330 --> 00:10:47.889 doing what they ought to. And knowing that we 00:10:47.889 --> 00:10:50.289 are called to this so that we might inherit a 00:10:50.289 --> 00:10:54.549 blessing. Now, there are two other things that 00:10:54.549 --> 00:10:56.429 are noteworthy before we get into the meat of 00:10:56.429 --> 00:11:02.070 the sermon. One is this. Our marriages are a 00:11:02.070 --> 00:11:08.929 testimony to the world how Jesus loves his church. 00:11:09.470 --> 00:11:14.669 Let me say that again. Our marriages are a testimony 00:11:14.669 --> 00:11:21.730 of how Jesus loves his church. If your marriage 00:11:21.730 --> 00:11:25.029 is terrible, filled with disobedience to the 00:11:25.029 --> 00:11:30.370 word, with fighting and discord, rebellion, hatred 00:11:30.370 --> 00:11:35.940 or envy and strife, or if it is cold and distant 00:11:35.940 --> 00:11:40.500 and harsh, then we are giving a picture, but 00:11:40.500 --> 00:11:43.720 it's not a good one. It is not a good one. We 00:11:43.720 --> 00:11:47.639 are giving a wrong picture of Christ and of his 00:11:47.639 --> 00:11:52.440 church to the world. But on the other side, if 00:11:52.440 --> 00:11:55.649 our marriages are lovely, if they are of good 00:11:55.649 --> 00:11:59.169 report, if they are a wonderful example of unity, 00:11:59.350 --> 00:12:03.309 of love, of faith and hope, of problem solving, 00:12:03.529 --> 00:12:06.909 of repentance and forgiveness for wrongs committed, 00:12:07.129 --> 00:12:11.129 then it bears witness to the glory and the well 00:12:11.129 --> 00:12:14.570 -being of the church and of Christ. It is a demonstration 00:12:14.570 --> 00:12:23.330 of it and not a deterrent to it. Second, and 00:12:23.330 --> 00:12:26.360 this is, in a way related to marriage. Today 00:12:26.360 --> 00:12:30.299 is Reformation Sunday. It is a day in which we 00:12:30.299 --> 00:12:33.399 remember the great work of God done in the 16th 00:12:33.399 --> 00:12:36.580 century that brought renewal, revival, and a 00:12:36.580 --> 00:12:40.419 renewed interest in the Holy Scriptures. This 00:12:40.419 --> 00:12:43.299 was a work of the Holy Spirit, and we rejoice 00:12:43.299 --> 00:12:46.679 today and continue in the apostolic teaching 00:12:46.679 --> 00:12:49.940 that was greatly revived and renewed in the Protestant 00:12:49.940 --> 00:12:53.740 Reformation. But did you know that this reformation 00:12:53.740 --> 00:12:56.500 also brought about a reformation in marriage? 00:12:57.059 --> 00:13:00.519 Yes, it did. Well, first, priests in the church 00:13:00.519 --> 00:13:03.639 were no longer required to be celibate, but were 00:13:03.639 --> 00:13:07.779 able to take a wife. Marriage also came to be 00:13:07.779 --> 00:13:12.700 understood as a divine institution of God and 00:13:12.700 --> 00:13:15.519 not as a sacrament. Now, there's a difference 00:13:15.519 --> 00:13:18.340 here. So the Roman Catholic Church taught that 00:13:18.340 --> 00:13:22.639 marriage was a sacrament. And therefore, no divorce 00:13:22.639 --> 00:13:27.240 was ever allowed. It was only an annulment would 00:13:27.240 --> 00:13:30.399 be a possibility. And there were some results 00:13:30.399 --> 00:13:33.639 from that. And when it came to be understood 00:13:33.639 --> 00:13:36.740 that this is a divine institution by God, but 00:13:36.740 --> 00:13:40.580 that God also frames it. Now, follow with me 00:13:40.580 --> 00:13:46.960 here. actually then permitted divorce in cases 00:13:46.960 --> 00:13:51.480 of adultery and abandonment now what this did 00:13:51.480 --> 00:13:55.100 we might think oh okay is that right well actually 00:13:55.100 --> 00:13:59.840 yes it is because it's it provides greater accountability 00:13:59.840 --> 00:14:02.860 what happened is that it became a restraint to 00:14:02.860 --> 00:14:05.340 men in violating the covenant and especially 00:14:05.340 --> 00:14:08.259 in abusing their wives without restraint and 00:14:08.259 --> 00:14:11.850 discipline Reformers like Luther stressed the 00:14:11.850 --> 00:14:14.450 husband's duty to love his wife sacrificially 00:14:14.450 --> 00:14:17.629 as Christ loves the church. John Calvin similarly 00:14:17.629 --> 00:14:21.210 emphasized mutual fidelity and care, but he also 00:14:21.210 --> 00:14:25.049 strongly condemned domestic cruelty, which was 00:14:25.049 --> 00:14:30.129 a big problem. It was a huge problem. Wife beating 00:14:30.129 --> 00:14:33.600 was a thing. And not just something that was 00:14:33.600 --> 00:14:36.100 common, that was just every now and then. No, 00:14:36.120 --> 00:14:39.340 it was very common. Luther got heavily involved 00:14:39.340 --> 00:14:43.179 in a situation of a fairly well -known cook who 00:14:43.179 --> 00:14:49.539 beat his wife regularly for years. And eventually 00:14:49.539 --> 00:14:52.539 through the changes that came, he was able to 00:14:52.539 --> 00:14:55.919 be brought before court and condemned for what 00:14:55.919 --> 00:14:58.240 he did. And there were sanctions applied to him. 00:14:59.759 --> 00:15:03.179 Reformation churches, also then created oversight 00:15:03.179 --> 00:15:06.779 bodies. Like there was something in Geneva, which 00:15:06.779 --> 00:15:09.379 is where Calvin was, called Geneva's Consistory, 00:15:09.480 --> 00:15:12.659 and it was a moral court that heard marital complaints, 00:15:12.759 --> 00:15:16.980 including abuse, and admonished husbands to cease 00:15:16.980 --> 00:15:21.399 violence under threat of civil penalties. Geneva 00:15:21.399 --> 00:15:25.659 became known for its justice and its safeguards 00:15:25.659 --> 00:15:29.960 for those abused. with these protections. Some 00:15:29.960 --> 00:15:33.299 even went to so far as to call it a woman's paradise. 00:15:33.820 --> 00:15:38.000 So just very interesting and an anecdotal note 00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:42.059 on reformational thinking and how it impacted 00:15:42.059 --> 00:15:47.149 marriages. But also on this day. The second day 00:15:47.149 --> 00:15:49.490 in October, two years ago, this congregation 00:15:49.490 --> 00:15:52.870 met for the first time. So we also rejoice with 00:15:52.870 --> 00:15:56.330 that. And we stand in amazement at wonder at 00:15:56.330 --> 00:15:59.909 what God has done, for indeed it is him and not 00:15:59.909 --> 00:16:03.450 us. And so we praise him and we worship him. 00:16:03.690 --> 00:16:08.950 Soli Deo Gloria. To God be the glory. With that, 00:16:08.950 --> 00:16:12.259 let's move into the passage. Going back now to 00:16:12.259 --> 00:16:14.840 Ephesians chapter 5, beginning in verse 28 and 00:16:14.840 --> 00:16:18.019 29, point number 1. The husband is to love his 00:16:18.019 --> 00:16:23.259 wife like his own body, as the Lord does the 00:16:23.259 --> 00:16:26.840 church. The husband is to love his wife like 00:16:26.840 --> 00:16:30.899 his own body. So husbands ought to love their 00:16:30.899 --> 00:16:33.720 own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his 00:16:33.720 --> 00:16:36.940 wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his 00:16:36.940 --> 00:16:40.039 own flesh. but nourishes and cherishes it just 00:16:40.039 --> 00:16:42.539 as the Lord does the church. So what does it 00:16:42.539 --> 00:16:44.740 mean to love her? Because there's a number of 00:16:44.740 --> 00:16:49.440 words for loves in Greek in the New Testament. 00:16:49.980 --> 00:16:53.039 And we also use love in a whole number of ways. 00:16:53.139 --> 00:16:57.120 You might say, I love the ice cream. Okay, well, 00:16:57.200 --> 00:17:00.279 the love that you feel for ice cream is entirely 00:17:00.279 --> 00:17:02.580 different than the love you should feel for your 00:17:02.580 --> 00:17:06.819 wife. There's a big difference. There's all sorts 00:17:06.819 --> 00:17:09.359 of things where we say, I love this or I love 00:17:09.359 --> 00:17:13.180 that. We love one another here in the congregation. 00:17:13.180 --> 00:17:16.460 But again, the love of a wife has depths and 00:17:16.460 --> 00:17:18.880 differences to it than that it does of loving 00:17:18.880 --> 00:17:21.640 his brothers and sisters in the church. So what 00:17:21.640 --> 00:17:24.660 does love here speak of? Let's first of all look 00:17:24.660 --> 00:17:28.359 at the definition. This love is a welcoming love. 00:17:28.579 --> 00:17:31.279 It is a love that means to be fond of and to 00:17:31.279 --> 00:17:35.029 love dearly. So husbands, you are to be fond 00:17:35.029 --> 00:17:38.230 of your wife. You are to love her dearly. You 00:17:38.230 --> 00:17:41.210 are to be well pleased with her. And this is 00:17:41.210 --> 00:17:45.809 the big one, and contented with her. Contentment 00:17:45.809 --> 00:17:49.269 is the foundation that guards against many of 00:17:49.269 --> 00:17:53.359 the other lusts and desires. if you have contentment 00:17:53.359 --> 00:17:55.240 you're not going to commit adultery you're not 00:17:55.240 --> 00:17:57.680 going to wish for somebody else and go and seek 00:17:57.680 --> 00:18:00.819 somebody else or go to a harlot for satisfaction 00:18:00.819 --> 00:18:04.900 if you are content with your wife then you and 00:18:04.900 --> 00:18:08.259 you love her that's part of what this love means 00:18:08.259 --> 00:18:13.619 you're contented with her but it is also a sacrificial 00:18:13.619 --> 00:18:16.990 love It's the kind of love spoken of by Paul 00:18:16.990 --> 00:18:20.089 to the Corinthians where he says that in abundantly 00:18:20.089 --> 00:18:24.890 loving them, he would very gladly spend and be 00:18:24.890 --> 00:18:28.809 spent for their souls. This is in 2 Corinthians 00:18:28.809 --> 00:18:32.710 12 and verse 15. He would spend and be spent 00:18:32.710 --> 00:18:36.170 for their souls. This is a sacrificial love where 00:18:36.170 --> 00:18:38.750 husbands, this is to the husbands, husbands, 00:18:38.869 --> 00:18:43.289 you are to be willing to spend and be spent for. 00:18:44.059 --> 00:18:47.700 your wife. Now that doesn't just mean spending 00:18:47.700 --> 00:18:51.359 your money, even though that's part of it. You 00:18:51.359 --> 00:18:54.200 are to spend your money on behalf of your wife. 00:18:54.279 --> 00:18:57.839 You're to provide for her. But at the same time, 00:18:57.859 --> 00:19:02.180 you are to have an attitude of blessing her, 00:19:02.240 --> 00:19:07.579 of spending yourself for her sake. It is the 00:19:07.579 --> 00:19:10.920 kind of love, 1 John says in chapter 3 and verse 00:19:10.920 --> 00:19:16.259 18, that is not only in word or tongue, but is 00:19:16.259 --> 00:19:21.160 in deed and in truth. You cannot just say to 00:19:21.160 --> 00:19:23.779 your wife, Oh, honey, I love you. I love you 00:19:23.779 --> 00:19:27.599 so much. And then you don't spend yourself for 00:19:27.599 --> 00:19:31.519 her in actual deeds that show that you love her 00:19:31.519 --> 00:19:35.839 or in the truth of it. They become empty words 00:19:35.839 --> 00:19:38.799 if they're only in word or tongue, but not in 00:19:38.799 --> 00:19:41.819 deed or truth. So that describes the kind of 00:19:41.819 --> 00:19:44.279 love that is commanded here. It is a welcoming 00:19:44.279 --> 00:19:47.500 love, a fond love, and it is also a sacrificial 00:19:47.500 --> 00:19:51.920 love, spending and being spent. So, but you're 00:19:51.920 --> 00:19:55.400 to love her, Paul says here, the word of God 00:19:55.400 --> 00:20:00.920 says, like your own body. The love that a man 00:20:00.920 --> 00:20:04.059 has for his own life and for his own body in 00:20:04.059 --> 00:20:07.539 providing for his needs, his food, his shelter, 00:20:07.700 --> 00:20:11.299 and even his likes and his dislikes is now how 00:20:11.299 --> 00:20:15.039 he is supposed to love his wife. Just like a 00:20:15.039 --> 00:20:17.859 man does not typically want to be hurting himself 00:20:17.859 --> 00:20:22.000 needlessly or tearing himself down or diminishing 00:20:22.000 --> 00:20:25.359 himself, but has even what we would call a self 00:20:25.359 --> 00:20:28.920 -interest in seeing to his own well -being. so 00:20:28.920 --> 00:20:32.259 also he must do in equal measure to his wife, 00:20:32.460 --> 00:20:36.140 loving her, not hurting her, building her up, 00:20:36.259 --> 00:20:40.539 exalting her, seeing to her well -being, providing 00:20:40.539 --> 00:20:44.240 tender care and shelter and food and all of her 00:20:44.240 --> 00:20:47.859 needs. Now this also shows that our bodies... 00:20:48.299 --> 00:20:51.980 are to be cared for, not mistreated, not hated, 00:20:52.059 --> 00:20:55.940 not destroyed through addictions or through will 00:20:55.940 --> 00:20:58.759 worship or false worship, teaching for doctrine, 00:20:58.900 --> 00:21:00.759 the commandments of men that are not the word 00:21:00.759 --> 00:21:03.259 of God. And we see this in times when we look 00:21:03.259 --> 00:21:06.029 in history. You know, for example, I'm going 00:21:06.029 --> 00:21:08.589 to seek salvation by lying on a bed of nails 00:21:08.589 --> 00:21:12.109 or by crawling barefoot through glass or other 00:21:12.109 --> 00:21:15.650 things like that. No, we're to care for our own 00:21:15.650 --> 00:21:18.829 bodies. That is part of accepting and understanding 00:21:18.829 --> 00:21:22.089 that this body that God has given to me is good. 00:21:22.509 --> 00:21:24.970 And yeah, I mean, we do fall on things and we 00:21:24.970 --> 00:21:26.789 experience certain things, but it's still, it's 00:21:26.789 --> 00:21:30.529 intrinsically, or it is designed by God as to 00:21:30.529 --> 00:21:34.440 be good and to be cared for. And so also we are 00:21:34.440 --> 00:21:39.000 to do to our wives. God created us. We are to 00:21:39.000 --> 00:21:41.720 take care of his creation. That means our bodies 00:21:41.720 --> 00:21:46.480 and it means also our wives. This means... When 00:21:46.480 --> 00:21:50.420 you look here and follow in this, Paul explains 00:21:50.420 --> 00:21:52.839 this even further. He says, he who loves his 00:21:52.839 --> 00:21:56.200 wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his 00:21:56.200 --> 00:22:00.079 own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, 00:22:00.140 --> 00:22:04.099 just as the Lord does the church. So let's look 00:22:04.099 --> 00:22:06.960 at these words, nourish and cherish. So nourish 00:22:06.960 --> 00:22:09.299 your like -minded body means to nurture or to 00:22:09.299 --> 00:22:12.640 cause growth. We nourish our bodies by eating 00:22:12.640 --> 00:22:16.099 in order to survive, to be healthy and not malnourished, 00:22:16.140 --> 00:22:19.779 that our bodies flourish and become more mature. 00:22:20.349 --> 00:22:23.630 we see that our needs are met and that we grow 00:22:23.630 --> 00:22:26.609 this word nourish is the same word as used in 00:22:26.609 --> 00:22:29.529 Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 4 where fathers 00:22:29.529 --> 00:22:32.029 are not to provoke their children to wrath but 00:22:32.029 --> 00:22:35.910 to bring them up bring them up same word in the 00:22:35.910 --> 00:22:38.589 training in the admonition of the Lord so it's 00:22:38.589 --> 00:22:41.369 something here that where we eat we do all of 00:22:41.369 --> 00:22:43.490 these things we care for ourselves in order that 00:22:43.490 --> 00:22:47.369 we might grow and flourish so also a husband 00:22:47.369 --> 00:22:50.839 is to nourish his wife so that she matures, so 00:22:50.839 --> 00:22:53.380 that she grows, so that her needs are satisfied, 00:22:53.440 --> 00:22:57.660 so that she advances in her own personal life. 00:22:58.539 --> 00:23:01.279 That's what we're looking at here in nourishing. 00:23:01.599 --> 00:23:06.099 And then he is to cherish her. Now this word 00:23:06.099 --> 00:23:09.539 cherish, actually the literal meaning of it is 00:23:09.539 --> 00:23:13.410 he keeps her warm. He keeps her warm. It's to 00:23:13.410 --> 00:23:16.769 keep her warm. And so this we apply to taking 00:23:16.769 --> 00:23:21.910 care to shelter, protection, and keeping, as 00:23:21.910 --> 00:23:24.690 we do our own bodies, to keeping them warm. So 00:23:24.690 --> 00:23:27.930 it also is to surround our wife with an environment 00:23:27.930 --> 00:23:31.750 of tender love and care, of protection and of 00:23:31.750 --> 00:23:35.670 warmth. This certainly means providing well. 00:23:36.170 --> 00:23:38.869 making sure her needs are met, including food 00:23:38.869 --> 00:23:42.210 and clothing. But it also carries with it the 00:23:42.210 --> 00:23:46.109 idea of security, that she is loved, knowing 00:23:46.109 --> 00:23:49.029 that she is loved by you, that you will keep 00:23:49.029 --> 00:23:52.150 her safe and not hurt her, that you will listen 00:23:52.150 --> 00:23:54.970 to her concerns, and you will provide for her 00:23:54.970 --> 00:23:57.930 well -being. And this is not just for physical 00:23:57.930 --> 00:24:01.130 needs, but it includes emotional and spiritual. 00:24:02.119 --> 00:24:05.019 Both a husband and a wife have needs that only 00:24:05.019 --> 00:24:08.279 the other can provide. Like Paul says in 1 Corinthians 00:24:08.279 --> 00:24:12.279 7 and verse 3, let the husband render to his 00:24:12.279 --> 00:24:18.539 wife the affection due her and likewise also 00:24:18.539 --> 00:24:25.460 the wife to her husband. Your wife. men, is do 00:24:25.460 --> 00:24:28.599 your affection. And this doesn't mean just in 00:24:28.599 --> 00:24:31.660 intimate matters, but it is in all of life. Your 00:24:31.660 --> 00:24:35.740 affection and care for her, your love, that she 00:24:35.740 --> 00:24:38.500 is the love of your life. And so you are to rejoice 00:24:38.500 --> 00:24:41.240 with her, like the wise man says in Proverbs 00:24:41.240 --> 00:24:44.180 5, verse 18, you're to be enraptured with her 00:24:44.180 --> 00:24:48.339 love and not with an immoral woman or a seductress. 00:24:49.240 --> 00:24:54.579 Proverbs 5, 19, verse 20. This then goes on, 00:24:54.619 --> 00:24:59.660 or this then instructs us as we derive from this, 00:24:59.779 --> 00:25:07.160 that harsh, mean, degrading, down -putting, demeaning 00:25:07.160 --> 00:25:13.160 words all destroy this. Physical abuse destroys 00:25:13.160 --> 00:25:17.849 this. Sexual abuse destroys this. And rather 00:25:17.849 --> 00:25:20.430 than making her beautiful, being nourished and 00:25:20.430 --> 00:25:24.470 cherished, she then withdraws, is hurt, is put 00:25:24.470 --> 00:25:28.230 down and is in stress and hardship because of 00:25:28.230 --> 00:25:32.529 wicked actions. So take care as we nourish, as 00:25:32.529 --> 00:25:35.710 we cherish, as we love that you treat her well, 00:25:35.730 --> 00:25:39.140 just as you treat your own body. Just as you 00:25:39.140 --> 00:25:41.900 don't abuse or beat or browbeat or manipulate 00:25:41.900 --> 00:25:45.259 or degrade your own body, so also you cannot 00:25:45.259 --> 00:25:47.400 do this to your wife, the one that you are to 00:25:47.400 --> 00:25:52.119 nourish, to cherish, and to love. Now all of 00:25:52.119 --> 00:25:58.019 this is again a picture of how Christ loves his 00:25:58.019 --> 00:26:02.140 church. All that I just described here, then 00:26:02.140 --> 00:26:04.440 there's a different dimension to it, certainly, 00:26:04.559 --> 00:26:08.789 because Christ is in heaven and we are here and 00:26:08.789 --> 00:26:11.730 Christ does not dwell with us in bodily form 00:26:11.730 --> 00:26:15.569 sitting right here. But he does dwell with us 00:26:15.569 --> 00:26:20.599 and he feeds us. He provides for us. We look 00:26:20.599 --> 00:26:24.299 at all of the glories that Jesus gives to us 00:26:24.299 --> 00:26:27.259 as we love him and we worship him. I mean, just 00:26:27.259 --> 00:26:29.019 think about it. And this is something that we've 00:26:29.019 --> 00:26:31.480 been learning. As we sit here and we worship 00:26:31.480 --> 00:26:35.220 together, not only do we give unto God praise 00:26:35.220 --> 00:26:38.619 and glory, but Christ also feeds us. He feeds 00:26:38.619 --> 00:26:42.079 us with his word. He grants us the spirit of 00:26:42.079 --> 00:26:44.900 God that accompanies the eating of the bread 00:26:44.900 --> 00:26:47.829 and the drinking of the wine. Because this is 00:26:47.829 --> 00:26:51.069 part where he imparts to us. We receive from 00:26:51.069 --> 00:26:55.250 him and we also give to him. He gives, we respond. 00:26:55.470 --> 00:26:58.809 That's what worship, what the Lord's Day service 00:26:58.809 --> 00:27:03.089 is all about. It is Christ feeding us and we 00:27:03.089 --> 00:27:07.769 giving our worship to him and responding to him. 00:27:08.029 --> 00:27:13.289 But so Christ does, it says here, the Lord does 00:27:13.289 --> 00:27:16.950 not hate us. He does not hate us or he would 00:27:16.950 --> 00:27:19.390 be hating his own flesh. He does not hate us. 00:27:19.529 --> 00:27:23.829 He loves us with a sacrificial love. He nourishes 00:27:23.829 --> 00:27:27.369 us. He gives us food. And he gives us all the 00:27:27.369 --> 00:27:29.710 provisions that we all enjoy in our physical 00:27:29.710 --> 00:27:35.529 comforts. And he cherishes us. He draws us close. 00:27:36.190 --> 00:27:39.650 He provides for us. He gives us comfort when 00:27:39.650 --> 00:27:43.109 we go through difficult times. He gives us encouragement 00:27:43.109 --> 00:27:45.609 sometimes through other brothers or other sisters. 00:27:45.750 --> 00:27:49.009 But it comes through Christian love and charity 00:27:49.009 --> 00:27:52.269 that is extended to us in the body. The Lord 00:27:52.269 --> 00:27:58.450 loves his body. And so also is a man to love 00:27:58.450 --> 00:28:01.750 his wife. These are the parallels and they go 00:28:01.750 --> 00:28:05.829 together hand in hand. Just as the Lord does 00:28:05.829 --> 00:28:09.450 the church, so also we are to do this. Finally, 00:28:09.509 --> 00:28:12.509 then under this and loving your wife. We are 00:28:12.509 --> 00:28:16.170 also then to live with her as a fellow heir of 00:28:16.170 --> 00:28:19.430 the grace of life. And I'd like to speak to that 00:28:19.430 --> 00:28:22.450 just a moment as we consider this matter of loving 00:28:22.450 --> 00:28:25.990 as our own body. Because she is also a fellow 00:28:25.990 --> 00:28:29.230 heir together with us. And this comes from the 00:28:29.230 --> 00:28:31.829 book of 1 Peter chapter 3 and verse 7. So I'm 00:28:31.829 --> 00:28:35.210 going to take this and apply it. Husbands, likewise, 00:28:35.529 --> 00:28:39.970 dwell with them, that is your wives, with understanding. 00:28:41.210 --> 00:28:44.450 giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel 00:28:44.450 --> 00:28:48.650 and as being heirs together of the grace of life. 00:28:49.130 --> 00:28:53.809 Why? That your prayers be not hindered. This 00:28:53.809 --> 00:28:56.769 is really an incredible verse. I think we need 00:28:56.769 --> 00:28:59.410 to expand this a little more. And ladies, if 00:28:59.410 --> 00:29:01.529 we don't get to your part in this today, we just 00:29:01.529 --> 00:29:03.910 won't. But I want to really drive this home to 00:29:03.910 --> 00:29:09.180 us. Husbands. We are to dwell with our wives 00:29:09.180 --> 00:29:12.700 with understanding. That is, we're to know her. 00:29:12.779 --> 00:29:15.460 We're to know her strengths. We're to understand 00:29:15.460 --> 00:29:18.779 her weaknesses and her temptations to sin. And 00:29:18.779 --> 00:29:21.000 in all of that, we are to live in an understanding 00:29:21.000 --> 00:29:25.299 way. That is, you appreciate and value the strengths 00:29:25.299 --> 00:29:28.339 that she has and you do not lay unnecessary burdens 00:29:28.339 --> 00:29:32.500 on her that exacerbate or make greater her weaknesses 00:29:32.500 --> 00:29:37.980 and her temptations. You live with her with understanding 00:29:37.980 --> 00:29:41.640 in an understanding way. This includes, number 00:29:41.640 --> 00:29:45.829 two, from this passage, giving. her honor. You 00:29:45.829 --> 00:29:49.690 give her honor. That is, you treat her with special 00:29:49.690 --> 00:29:53.650 kindness and with respect. You understand that 00:29:53.650 --> 00:29:57.329 she is physically weaker than you. I mean, that's 00:29:57.329 --> 00:30:01.150 99, but there's obviously a very, very small 00:30:01.150 --> 00:30:04.170 infinitesimal chance that that might not be. 00:30:04.269 --> 00:30:07.490 But in practically all cases, men are simply 00:30:07.490 --> 00:30:10.119 stronger than women. They can do things. That's 00:30:10.119 --> 00:30:12.880 one of the problems where in some of the, like 00:30:12.880 --> 00:30:15.160 in some of the army thing and firefighting things 00:30:15.160 --> 00:30:17.440 that really should just be for men, they had 00:30:17.440 --> 00:30:20.319 to lower the standards so that the women could 00:30:20.319 --> 00:30:22.779 achieve parity with the men because otherwise 00:30:22.779 --> 00:30:24.559 they just couldn't. They're designed differently. 00:30:24.700 --> 00:30:28.759 And that's by God, by creation. So understand 00:30:28.759 --> 00:30:32.180 that she is physically weaker than you. The passage 00:30:32.180 --> 00:30:35.359 speaks about as to the weaker vessel. And so 00:30:35.359 --> 00:30:38.920 you honor her with your attention. You honor 00:30:38.920 --> 00:30:41.900 her in listening to her. You honor her in asking 00:30:41.900 --> 00:30:45.000 counsel of her, into taking her into your thought 00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:48.839 processes. You seek her wisdom. You know that 00:30:48.839 --> 00:30:52.240 when you make rash mistakes, especially in financial 00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:55.940 matters, she will experience pain and trials 00:30:55.940 --> 00:30:59.220 because of your decisions. This happens, brothers. 00:31:00.119 --> 00:31:04.339 I speak from experience. This also forbids manipulation 00:31:04.339 --> 00:31:08.400 and control or withholding affection in order 00:31:08.400 --> 00:31:12.279 to get what you want. Oh, we have so many devious 00:31:12.279 --> 00:31:16.420 ways. of being selfish and trying to get our 00:31:16.420 --> 00:31:20.000 own way. We can have such subtle ways sometimes 00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:24.259 of just a tone of voice that we can use where 00:31:24.259 --> 00:31:26.359 we can, did you know you can even use a tone 00:31:26.359 --> 00:31:29.019 of voice to manipulate and control? Yes, you 00:31:29.019 --> 00:31:31.500 can. And I'm not speaking just about in anger, 00:31:31.519 --> 00:31:35.539 also that hurt thing, that hurt vibe that we 00:31:35.539 --> 00:31:38.880 can put on to try and elicit pity and get her 00:31:38.880 --> 00:31:40.859 to do something she doesn't want to do because 00:31:40.859 --> 00:31:43.710 we're feeling hurt about it. You can just go 00:31:43.710 --> 00:31:46.829 on and on in looking at the different ways in 00:31:46.829 --> 00:31:50.230 which we, in our fallen state, we can control, 00:31:50.369 --> 00:31:54.869 we can manipulate, we can do anything but giving 00:31:54.869 --> 00:31:57.349 honor and treating her with the special kindness 00:31:57.349 --> 00:32:04.789 and respect that she deserves. By this, women 00:32:04.789 --> 00:32:09.750 sin. So what I'm doing is, what I'm saying in 00:32:09.750 --> 00:32:12.019 all of this is, You're commanded to do this, 00:32:12.059 --> 00:32:15.960 but your wife will sin. Just like men sin and 00:32:15.960 --> 00:32:18.640 they have their issues, so do women. You know, 00:32:18.640 --> 00:32:20.740 back in the Victorian days, there was often this 00:32:20.740 --> 00:32:23.119 thing of where women were just so, they were 00:32:23.119 --> 00:32:25.180 the lofty creatures. They were the spiritual 00:32:25.180 --> 00:32:29.720 ones and men were the brutes. And there was really 00:32:29.720 --> 00:32:32.859 a big mischaracterization that was going on in 00:32:32.859 --> 00:32:34.720 some of those things. And of course, when you 00:32:34.720 --> 00:32:37.039 look at the temperance movement and... Yeah, 00:32:37.099 --> 00:32:40.200 there are men who are brutes, but there's also 00:32:40.200 --> 00:32:45.559 really some very crazy sinful women too in very 00:32:45.559 --> 00:32:49.160 bad ways. All I'm saying here in this is when 00:32:49.160 --> 00:32:52.859 the scripture speaks to the man as to how you're 00:32:52.859 --> 00:32:56.099 to treat your wife, it's not like she is some 00:32:56.099 --> 00:32:59.000 especially sanctified or sainted individual that 00:32:59.000 --> 00:33:01.640 can do no wrong. We're going to deal with women's 00:33:01.640 --> 00:33:05.750 sins as well. We will. The point is here that 00:33:05.750 --> 00:33:09.650 the scripture calls you to honor her. To honor 00:33:09.650 --> 00:33:16.190 her as a weaker vessel. But you also honor her 00:33:16.190 --> 00:33:23.190 as a sister in Christ. As a sister in Christ. 00:33:23.309 --> 00:33:29.970 She is an heir of Christ like you are. You together 00:33:29.970 --> 00:33:34.690 are heirs of the grace of life. which I believe 00:33:34.690 --> 00:33:38.069 is speaking of the grace of Christ that comes 00:33:38.069 --> 00:33:41.910 through life. She is your sister in Christ. And 00:33:41.910 --> 00:33:44.329 as a Christian, she is an heir of the kingdom 00:33:44.329 --> 00:33:47.089 according to the hope of eternal life. Titus 00:33:47.089 --> 00:33:50.130 3 verse 7. She is a partaker of the promises 00:33:50.130 --> 00:33:53.789 in Christ through the gospel. Ephesians 3 and 00:33:53.789 --> 00:33:57.490 verse 6. As a sister in Christ, she is your equal. 00:33:57.630 --> 00:34:01.109 She is entitled to all the hopes and the promises 00:34:01.109 --> 00:34:03.920 that come through the Christian faith. She has 00:34:03.920 --> 00:34:07.279 the same privileges. She has the same comforts. 00:34:07.279 --> 00:34:09.739 She receives the same privileges and rewards 00:34:09.739 --> 00:34:14.260 in heaven. Her body is a temple of the Holy Spirit 00:34:14.260 --> 00:34:18.360 just like yours is. And she was bought with the 00:34:18.360 --> 00:34:22.340 same price, the precious blood of Christ. So 00:34:22.340 --> 00:34:27.059 treat her as your sister in Christ with honor 00:34:27.059 --> 00:34:30.920 and respect. And this is all said here in this 00:34:30.920 --> 00:34:35.239 verse. He ends with this somewhat cryptic statement, 00:34:35.280 --> 00:34:38.000 but he says that your prayers be not hindered, 00:34:38.019 --> 00:34:41.900 that your prayers be not hindered. What does 00:34:41.900 --> 00:34:46.559 this mean? Well, Peter doesn't go on to explain 00:34:46.559 --> 00:34:49.739 much of this other than just the fact that when 00:34:49.739 --> 00:34:53.139 you are at odds with each other, when husbands, 00:34:53.280 --> 00:34:56.260 you are not dwelling. together with your wife 00:34:56.260 --> 00:34:58.579 with understanding, giving honor to them and 00:34:58.579 --> 00:35:01.199 being heirs as being heirs together the grace 00:35:01.199 --> 00:35:03.980 of life, then your prayers are being hindered. 00:35:04.059 --> 00:35:07.099 Well, we get an insight into this if we go back 00:35:07.099 --> 00:35:10.179 to Malachi 2. Remember last week, we looked at 00:35:10.179 --> 00:35:12.780 Malachi chapter 2. So let's look at this again, 00:35:12.840 --> 00:35:15.739 because here is a description of prayers being 00:35:15.739 --> 00:35:18.460 hindered. This is in verse 13 and 14 in Malachi 00:35:18.460 --> 00:35:23.599 2. And Malachi, the prophet here, was giving 00:35:23.599 --> 00:35:27.480 an exhortation as to why God was not answering 00:35:27.480 --> 00:35:30.280 their prayers. And he was cataloging the things 00:35:30.280 --> 00:35:32.340 that they were done. But here is what he says. 00:35:32.460 --> 00:35:35.300 This is the second thing you do. You cover the 00:35:35.300 --> 00:35:37.940 altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and 00:35:37.940 --> 00:35:41.159 crying. So he does not regard the offering anymore, 00:35:41.360 --> 00:35:43.900 nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. 00:35:44.079 --> 00:35:47.949 Yet you say, for what reason? Why is this happening? 00:35:48.010 --> 00:35:52.530 Why isn't God hearing me? Malachi answers and 00:35:52.530 --> 00:35:55.030 he says, because the Lord has been witness between 00:35:55.030 --> 00:35:58.630 you and the wife of your youth with whom you 00:35:58.630 --> 00:36:03.570 have dealt treacherously. Yet she is your companion 00:36:03.570 --> 00:36:08.599 and your wife by covenant. When you're breaking 00:36:08.599 --> 00:36:11.460 the covenant, when you're not living with her 00:36:11.460 --> 00:36:14.860 in this kind of a way, when you're not treating 00:36:14.860 --> 00:36:18.920 her as a fellow sister, an heir of Christ, and 00:36:18.920 --> 00:36:22.820 as your companion, your prayers are hindered. 00:36:23.260 --> 00:36:26.420 God looks here in this. He was saying, I'm not 00:36:26.420 --> 00:36:28.900 going to regard their offering anymore. I'm not 00:36:28.900 --> 00:36:31.599 going to receive it with goodwill because you 00:36:31.599 --> 00:36:36.679 have dealt treacherously with your wife. I think 00:36:36.679 --> 00:36:41.920 that this has bearing on the 1 Peter 3 passage, 00:36:41.980 --> 00:36:45.739 on your prayers being hindered. Finally, men, 00:36:45.980 --> 00:36:50.099 she is your glory. She is your glory. And this 00:36:50.099 --> 00:36:53.119 we get from 1 Corinthians chapter 11. I need 00:36:53.119 --> 00:36:55.860 to move on here, but this is an important one, 00:36:55.920 --> 00:36:59.320 so I'm going to look at this as well. 1 Corinthians 00:36:59.320 --> 00:37:08.420 chapter 11 and verse 7. For a man ought not to 00:37:08.420 --> 00:37:10.679 cover his head. So this is speaking here, I believe, 00:37:10.719 --> 00:37:13.380 in public worship. He ought not to cover his 00:37:13.380 --> 00:37:17.980 head, since he is the image and the glory of 00:37:17.980 --> 00:37:24.159 God. But woman is the glory of man. Now again, 00:37:24.239 --> 00:37:26.860 as I said before, I'm not going to get into all 00:37:26.860 --> 00:37:29.360 of the ins and outs of this passage. it would 00:37:29.360 --> 00:37:32.380 take probably a series of sermons to really deal 00:37:32.380 --> 00:37:34.639 with all of the implications. So I'm just going 00:37:34.639 --> 00:37:37.099 to lift this one out, but not out of context, 00:37:37.159 --> 00:37:40.699 I hope, and just saying that, woman, wives, you're 00:37:40.699 --> 00:37:43.559 the glory of your husband. Husband, your wife 00:37:43.559 --> 00:37:47.360 is your glory. When you mistreat her, you're 00:37:47.360 --> 00:37:51.820 actually hurting your glory. Her face doesn't 00:37:51.820 --> 00:37:55.460 shine with glory. She is not radiant because... 00:37:57.000 --> 00:38:00.480 Of your treatment to her. So treat her in that 00:38:00.480 --> 00:38:03.719 way. As we look at all of these. It all points 00:38:03.719 --> 00:38:11.099 to this. That your wife is your glory. All right. 00:38:11.179 --> 00:38:16.000 Number two. A man is to leave his father and 00:38:16.000 --> 00:38:19.420 mother. And be joined to his wife. And the two 00:38:19.420 --> 00:38:25.739 shall become one. And this we see as Christ. 00:38:26.380 --> 00:38:31.219 is also we are Christ's body. We are united with 00:38:31.219 --> 00:38:39.719 him. This is the parallel. Excuse me. Verse 30 00:38:39.719 --> 00:38:45.340 through 32. So in marriage, a man is to leave 00:38:45.340 --> 00:38:50.960 his father and his mother. He is to leave his 00:38:50.960 --> 00:38:55.920 father and his mother. He can no longer stay 00:38:55.920 --> 00:38:58.860 in the same capacity as when he was living as 00:38:58.860 --> 00:39:02.579 a son in his home. In his parents home. He now 00:39:02.579 --> 00:39:06.599 is to leave them. And so marriage therefore is 00:39:06.599 --> 00:39:10.059 the creation and the formation of a new household. 00:39:11.179 --> 00:39:15.260 You're creating a new household through the act 00:39:15.260 --> 00:39:17.920 of marriage. This begins with the man leaving 00:39:17.920 --> 00:39:20.539 his parents. This does not mean dishonoring them. 00:39:20.679 --> 00:39:23.900 But it does mean that now. he is beginning a 00:39:23.900 --> 00:39:26.760 separate household and that his first love after 00:39:26.760 --> 00:39:30.599 Christ is to be his wife. He is now to be devoted 00:39:30.599 --> 00:39:38.460 to her. This is done by, as the scripture says 00:39:38.460 --> 00:39:43.360 here, by being joined to his wife and being one 00:39:43.360 --> 00:39:49.280 flesh. In being joined to his wife, I believe 00:39:49.280 --> 00:39:52.730 this is speaking of the marriage covenant. In 00:39:52.730 --> 00:39:55.929 the marriage covenant, he promises to forsake 00:39:55.929 --> 00:40:00.190 all others and to love her supremely. He vows 00:40:00.190 --> 00:40:04.210 before God to fulfill his responsibilities to 00:40:04.210 --> 00:40:08.630 her and she reciprocates with the appropriate 00:40:08.630 --> 00:40:13.010 vows of a wife to him. These marriage vows, at 00:40:13.010 --> 00:40:16.090 least if they're properly done, are actually 00:40:16.090 --> 00:40:21.590 an oath before God. It is in a sense... swearing 00:40:21.590 --> 00:40:24.829 to this because swearing or an oath is saying 00:40:24.829 --> 00:40:27.449 something with confirmation to God and multiple 00:40:27.449 --> 00:40:29.829 witnesses. And so that's what a marriage vow 00:40:29.829 --> 00:40:33.010 is. You're saying this vow to each other. I will 00:40:33.010 --> 00:40:37.989 do this. I will do this before God and before 00:40:37.989 --> 00:40:40.190 all of these witnesses. It's one of the reasons 00:40:40.190 --> 00:40:42.909 why a marriage ceremony is important and ceremonies 00:40:42.909 --> 00:40:45.369 can look differently. Doesn't all have to necessarily 00:40:45.369 --> 00:40:48.369 use the same wording, but it needs to be that. 00:40:48.829 --> 00:40:51.469 Firm commitment that vow to one another before 00:40:51.469 --> 00:41:01.809 God and with witnesses. But marriage also, this 00:41:01.809 --> 00:41:05.230 joining also includes becoming one flesh. This 00:41:05.230 --> 00:41:09.610 is sexual union. Without the vow, this act is 00:41:09.610 --> 00:41:13.610 fornication and is sinful. 1 Corinthians 6, 15 00:41:13.610 --> 00:41:17.010 and 16. Do you not know that your bodies are 00:41:17.010 --> 00:41:19.980 members of Christ? Shall I then take the members 00:41:19.980 --> 00:41:22.139 of Christ and make them members of a harlot? 00:41:22.699 --> 00:41:26.980 Certainly not. Or do you not know that he who 00:41:26.980 --> 00:41:30.860 is joined to a harlot is one body with her, for 00:41:30.860 --> 00:41:34.280 the two, he says, shall become one flesh. But 00:41:34.280 --> 00:41:36.659 there's not a marriage vow there. And so therefore 00:41:36.659 --> 00:41:40.599 it's sinful. The act is sinful. He goes on to 00:41:40.599 --> 00:41:44.659 say in 1 Corinthians 6 and verse 18, flee sexual 00:41:44.659 --> 00:41:51.300 immorality. Flee it. But with the vow, this coming 00:41:51.300 --> 00:41:54.800 together is right, it is good, and it is proper. 00:41:55.019 --> 00:41:57.519 It is the way children are brought into the world. 00:41:57.639 --> 00:42:00.320 The covenant is established for future generation 00:42:00.320 --> 00:42:03.900 as God desires godly seed, that is descendants 00:42:03.900 --> 00:42:07.500 who will worship God and will multiply on the 00:42:07.500 --> 00:42:10.239 earth, fulfilling God's command to replenish 00:42:10.239 --> 00:42:13.989 the earth and having dominion over it. This union 00:42:13.989 --> 00:42:16.730 between a man and a woman, between a wife and 00:42:16.730 --> 00:42:19.530 a husband, is much more though than a physical 00:42:19.530 --> 00:42:25.070 act. It is also a great mystery. There are things 00:42:25.070 --> 00:42:28.090 at play here that we do not fully understand. 00:42:28.210 --> 00:42:33.389 Paul says, when he ends this, as he comes closer 00:42:33.389 --> 00:42:36.590 to the end here, It says the two shall become 00:42:36.590 --> 00:42:40.329 one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak 00:42:40.329 --> 00:42:43.969 concerning Christ and the church. So drawing 00:42:43.969 --> 00:42:47.030 from this, we understand that a husband and a 00:42:47.030 --> 00:42:49.329 wife and being joined together in a mysterious 00:42:49.329 --> 00:42:54.369 way. So also we as believers in Christ are members 00:42:54.369 --> 00:42:58.090 of Christ's body. Even here it says in back in 00:42:58.090 --> 00:43:02.349 verse 30, we are members of his body of his flesh 00:43:02.349 --> 00:43:06.780 and of his bones. This is very similar language 00:43:06.780 --> 00:43:10.880 to what Adam said when Eve was created in Genesis 00:43:10.880 --> 00:43:14.739 chapter 2, verse 23. This is now bone of my bones 00:43:14.739 --> 00:43:17.719 and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman 00:43:17.719 --> 00:43:21.420 because she was taken out of man. And so the 00:43:21.420 --> 00:43:24.519 similar language is being used here of Christ, 00:43:24.679 --> 00:43:28.260 of the mystery of Christ in the church. Now, 00:43:28.260 --> 00:43:30.480 because it's a mystery, I can't tell you all 00:43:30.480 --> 00:43:33.659 about it. because I don't know all the ins and 00:43:33.659 --> 00:43:36.960 outs. This is withheld from us in some ways. 00:43:37.340 --> 00:43:41.719 But in a wonderful and mysterious way that as 00:43:41.719 --> 00:43:44.860 Christ died for us and redeemed us, we as believers 00:43:44.860 --> 00:43:49.019 in Christ are united together with him. We are 00:43:49.019 --> 00:43:53.679 united. We live in union with Christ. Jesus describes 00:43:53.679 --> 00:43:56.880 this in the book of John, chapter 15, 1 through 00:43:56.880 --> 00:44:01.360 5. He describes himself as... The true vine and 00:44:01.360 --> 00:44:04.320 we believers are in the branches and that we 00:44:04.320 --> 00:44:08.800 must abide in him for spiritual life and fruitfulness. 00:44:09.159 --> 00:44:13.579 We abide in Christ. He is the vine. We are the 00:44:13.579 --> 00:44:16.860 branches. We are united together. We are together 00:44:16.860 --> 00:44:21.320 in this. Also, he then says, apart from me, you 00:44:21.320 --> 00:44:25.349 can do nothing. Verse five. We are members of 00:44:25.349 --> 00:44:28.289 one body with Christ as the head. Through baptism, 00:44:28.530 --> 00:44:32.869 we are all made to drink of one spirit and thus 00:44:32.869 --> 00:44:36.090 are united together in Christ's body. This is 00:44:36.090 --> 00:44:39.610 in 1 Corinthians 12, verse 12 and 13. Our old 00:44:39.610 --> 00:44:42.570 selves have been crucified with Christ so that 00:44:42.570 --> 00:44:45.639 it is no longer we who live. but Christ who lives 00:44:45.639 --> 00:44:48.659 on us. Therefore, we can no longer follow after 00:44:48.659 --> 00:44:51.619 the former desires and lusts of the flesh. Just 00:44:51.619 --> 00:44:54.300 like when we are married, we are united together 00:44:54.300 --> 00:44:57.800 and we can no longer follow after former desires 00:44:57.800 --> 00:45:00.780 and lusts of the flesh. We are united together. 00:45:03.079 --> 00:45:06.719 So in marriage, we are no longer free to go after 00:45:06.719 --> 00:45:09.460 others or to lust after them or to long for them. 00:45:10.280 --> 00:45:12.699 Not that we were afraid to lust at any time, 00:45:12.820 --> 00:45:16.300 but there's a difference. When you're a young 00:45:16.300 --> 00:45:18.199 man and you're looking, you're looking at various 00:45:18.199 --> 00:45:21.500 women, you're evaluating as to whether this one 00:45:21.500 --> 00:45:24.340 might be suitable for you as a wife. Not lusting, 00:45:24.400 --> 00:45:28.119 but in just looking because right now you're 00:45:28.119 --> 00:45:30.960 seeing who the Lord would have for you and who 00:45:30.960 --> 00:45:33.159 is suitable for you. But once you're married, 00:45:33.199 --> 00:45:36.519 that's it. You're united together with the one. 00:45:37.289 --> 00:45:41.070 That you have chosen and together you live according 00:45:41.070 --> 00:45:46.429 to God's ordinances. We have been united with 00:45:46.429 --> 00:45:49.469 each other and we have that devotion, that loyalty, 00:45:49.550 --> 00:45:52.210 and that protective care of each other. We are 00:45:52.210 --> 00:45:55.530 to act in this way for a wonderful, a glorious, 00:45:55.630 --> 00:45:59.170 and a harmonious marriage that reflects and illustrates 00:45:59.170 --> 00:46:03.670 the glories of being united to Christ. As I said, 00:46:03.829 --> 00:46:06.510 there are mysterious elements of this that we 00:46:06.510 --> 00:46:09.909 do not know. But all that I've just given to 00:46:09.909 --> 00:46:12.469 you, much of that was just directly from the 00:46:12.469 --> 00:46:15.449 pages of Scripture that talk about our union 00:46:15.449 --> 00:46:18.050 with Christ, being part of the vine, being baptized 00:46:18.050 --> 00:46:26.230 together. Well, ladies, I'm just not going to 00:46:26.230 --> 00:46:29.969 be able to get to your part today. But hopefully 00:46:29.969 --> 00:46:32.639 this was instructive and edifying. So let me 00:46:32.639 --> 00:46:34.559 wrap up here with just a couple applications. 00:46:36.099 --> 00:46:39.119 Husbands, since it's you I've been talking to, 00:46:39.239 --> 00:46:43.500 if you value your wife and the commitment that 00:46:43.500 --> 00:46:46.380 she has made to love you, respect you and submit 00:46:46.380 --> 00:46:52.199 to you, then it falls to you to walk worthy of 00:46:52.199 --> 00:46:58.280 that love and respect and submission. Let that 00:46:58.280 --> 00:47:05.719 weigh upon you in a good way. Sometimes there's 00:47:05.719 --> 00:47:08.639 a saying, not sometimes, there is a saying, and 00:47:08.639 --> 00:47:10.440 I use it sometimes, especially if I'm talking 00:47:10.440 --> 00:47:13.519 to younger men, but men pull better when they 00:47:13.519 --> 00:47:16.699 have a load. When something is placed on them, 00:47:16.719 --> 00:47:21.780 God has designed them to bear the yoke, the burden 00:47:21.780 --> 00:47:24.139 that is laid on them, and they find great fulfillment 00:47:24.139 --> 00:47:28.460 in doing that. Otherwise, if you don't have a 00:47:28.460 --> 00:47:30.860 yoke on you, if you don't have a burden of responsibility, 00:47:31.079 --> 00:47:35.349 you become aimless. And kind of worthless. And 00:47:35.349 --> 00:47:38.949 that's why you end up having 30 -year -olds in 00:47:38.949 --> 00:47:42.369 their parents' basement just playing hours and 00:47:42.369 --> 00:47:45.289 hours and hours and hours of video games. They're 00:47:45.289 --> 00:47:47.210 filling up their time when instead they should 00:47:47.210 --> 00:47:50.210 be carrying the yoke in their youth. So as we 00:47:50.210 --> 00:47:53.690 consider that understanding, this is your yoke 00:47:53.690 --> 00:47:56.969 right here when it comes to your wife. If you 00:47:56.969 --> 00:47:59.369 love your wife, if you value her, if you have 00:47:59.369 --> 00:48:02.880 a wife. and you look at the commitment that she 00:48:02.880 --> 00:48:06.539 has made in her vow to you, to love you, to respect 00:48:06.539 --> 00:48:09.119 you, to submit to you, then you need to walk 00:48:09.119 --> 00:48:11.719 worthy of it. I'm going to place that load on 00:48:11.719 --> 00:48:13.320 you, but you need the power of the Holy Spirit 00:48:13.320 --> 00:48:15.860 to do it. But at the same time, just from man 00:48:15.860 --> 00:48:19.659 to man, as the word of God, take the yoke upon 00:48:19.659 --> 00:48:22.599 you. that Christ gives to you, and he will give 00:48:22.599 --> 00:48:25.480 you the grace to bear it, but be worthy, walk 00:48:25.480 --> 00:48:28.840 worthy of your wife's love, of her respect, of 00:48:28.840 --> 00:48:32.639 her devotion, and of her obedience. And I will 00:48:32.639 --> 00:48:36.659 say that if you love your wife in this way, most 00:48:36.659 --> 00:48:40.380 times you will find that your wife will respond 00:48:40.380 --> 00:48:45.619 to you with such an affection and a love of respect 00:48:45.619 --> 00:48:49.659 and a reverence, and it will just be glorious. 00:48:50.250 --> 00:48:54.150 It was a glorious picture. So men, lead in this. 00:48:57.110 --> 00:49:01.309 Lastly, what if my marriage is not like this? 00:49:02.050 --> 00:49:06.130 What if my marriage is not like this? How do 00:49:06.130 --> 00:49:09.469 we do this? How do we handle this when our marriages 00:49:09.469 --> 00:49:13.010 are sinful and they're laden down with guilt 00:49:13.010 --> 00:49:18.809 or with problems or with insurrection or with... 00:49:19.079 --> 00:49:21.539 difficulties are filled with arguments and we're 00:49:21.539 --> 00:49:24.340 not reflecting the love of Christ. We're not 00:49:24.340 --> 00:49:28.239 being a faithful witness to Christ. The scripture 00:49:28.239 --> 00:49:33.039 teaches three things when it comes to sins and 00:49:33.039 --> 00:49:37.280 situations like this. This is all with the understanding 00:49:37.280 --> 00:49:40.059 that we need the power of the Holy Spirit. This 00:49:40.059 --> 00:49:42.719 is not something we work up on our own, for it 00:49:42.719 --> 00:49:45.300 is God who grants repentance, but still we are 00:49:45.300 --> 00:49:48.519 to command repentance. There are three things. 00:49:48.579 --> 00:49:51.179 These three things are very simple. You can apply 00:49:51.179 --> 00:49:54.460 this to your needs in your life in pretty much 00:49:54.460 --> 00:49:59.059 whatever it is. Repentance, mortification, and 00:49:59.059 --> 00:50:03.789 obedience. Repentance. Come to the Lord and confess 00:50:03.789 --> 00:50:07.110 your sins. Repent of them. Recognize your weakness. 00:50:07.809 --> 00:50:10.130 Recognize the situation that your marriage is 00:50:10.130 --> 00:50:13.730 in. If you're in a really hurting, wrongful marriage, 00:50:13.829 --> 00:50:17.070 wrongful in the sense that it's filled with sin, 00:50:17.250 --> 00:50:20.550 then you begin with repentance. Repentance toward 00:50:20.550 --> 00:50:24.590 God and repentance toward each other. Ask for 00:50:24.590 --> 00:50:26.869 the power of the Holy Spirit to grant you repentance. 00:50:27.150 --> 00:50:30.369 But I urge you, you need to repent. But then 00:50:30.369 --> 00:50:33.570 the second thing is mortification. Mortification 00:50:33.570 --> 00:50:36.670 is a big word. It simply means to put to death. 00:50:37.210 --> 00:50:40.710 You seek to put to death the things, the sins 00:50:40.710 --> 00:50:43.949 that need to stop. Again, you need the power 00:50:43.949 --> 00:50:46.570 of the Holy Spirit. But yet we're also told to 00:50:46.570 --> 00:50:50.869 put off the old man and his deeds. And Paul lists 00:50:50.869 --> 00:50:53.670 many of those deeds in a whole number of places 00:50:53.670 --> 00:50:57.260 in the New Testament. But we're to... Put them 00:50:57.260 --> 00:51:00.300 to death. Mortification. So repentance, mortifications, 00:51:00.460 --> 00:51:04.840 and then third is obedience. You seek to obey. 00:51:06.039 --> 00:51:09.639 You simply seek to say, you say, God, whatever 00:51:09.639 --> 00:51:13.019 it takes, I'm willing to do this. I will obey 00:51:13.019 --> 00:51:16.039 you in every way that I can. Again, you need 00:51:16.039 --> 00:51:18.460 the power of the Holy Spirit for this. So all 00:51:18.460 --> 00:51:21.260 of this needs to be bathed with prayer that God 00:51:21.260 --> 00:51:23.260 would grant you the power of the Holy Spirit. 00:51:23.480 --> 00:51:28.429 But in so doing, you repent. You mortify and 00:51:28.429 --> 00:51:32.690 you're obedient to Christ. May the Lord bless 00:51:32.690 --> 00:51:35.449 you all with this day. I've spoken plainly to 00:51:35.449 --> 00:51:37.710 you in some of these things. I pray that the 00:51:37.710 --> 00:51:40.050 Lord would bless you and would lift you up. I 00:51:40.050 --> 00:51:42.550 do not mean this just in a heavy -handed way, 00:51:42.670 --> 00:51:45.150 but rather just preaching the word of God that 00:51:45.150 --> 00:51:48.929 it would bear fruit in your lives. May the Lord 00:51:48.929 --> 00:51:51.349 be praised and worshiped. Let's pray together.