I'd like to continue the sermon from last week
on Husbands and Wives, Christ and the Church,
Part 2. Our text today will be first from the
book of Ephesians, chapter 5, verses 22 to 33.
And then we will also consider a few passages
from 1 Peter 3. Now, just a quick word as we
get into this. If you're a person here and you're
not married, even though this sermon is on marriage,
may it also give you encouragement, may it give
you wisdom, and if you're young, may it give
you something to look forward to and to prepare
for. So I encourage you to heed it carefully
as well. Here's the word of the Lord, beginning
in verse 22 of chapter 5 of Ephesians. Wives,
submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For
the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ
is head of the church, and he is the Savior of
the body. Therefore, as the church is subject
to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands
in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just
as Christ also loved the church and gave himself
for her. that he might sanctify and cleanse her
with the washing of the water by the word, that
he might present her to himself a glorious church,
not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
but that she should be holy and without blemish.
So husbands ought to love their own wives as
their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves
himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh,
but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord
does the church. For we are members of his body,
of his flesh, and of his bones. For this reason,
a man shall leave his father and mother and be
joined to his wife, and the two shall become
one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak
concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless,
let each one of you in particular So love his
own wife as himself and let the wife see that
she respects her husband. Let's bow together
for prayer. Father, thank you for these words.
Lord, thank you for the clarity of this passage
in Ephesians. But Lord, at the same time, we
pray that you would give us greater understanding
and we pray that you would give us obedient hearts.
We ask, Lord, that you would fill us with the
wisdom that we need, but also, Lord, help us
to act on that wisdom and not just to take it
in as something esoteric or as something just
that it's food for the mind, but rather that
it would affect our actions and our attitudes
and our love one for each other. Lord, we pray
that as a result of this, you would increase
the flame of love between husbands and wives
even much more. We ask this in Jesus' name. Amen.
It is the will and the command of God that in
the normal course of human events, man and woman
should be united in marriage, in holy matrimony.
This marriage is to reflect the glorious mystery
of Christ and of his bride, the church. Now,
I've already spoken of the purposes for marriage
from creation, and then we started looking at
the components of marriage, which is that a man
and a woman must come together in holy matrimony,
and they are joined together by covenant and
become one flesh. This union, this holy and mysterious
action, is a living illustration of the union
of Christ and of his church. Now last week I
listed four parallels between Christ and the
church from this passage and I spoke on two of
them. But I missed one. And so today I plan to
speak on the other three. So there are five parallels.
Last week we looked at these two. The husband
is the head of his wife as Christ is head of
the church. We see the parallel between the two.
And also then husbands are to love their wives
as Christ loves the church. I'd like to follow
up in the last three from this passage. That
is these three. Husbands are to love their wives
as their own bodies, just like Christ loves his
body, the church. Second, a man is to leave his
father and mother and be joined to his wife.
This is paralleled by the fact that Christian
believers, by faith, are united with Christ,
members of Christ's body, of his flesh, and of
his bones. This is from verses 30 and 31. And
then finally, just as the church is subject to
Christ, being in submission to him, so also the
wife is to be to her own husband as to the Lord.
This is from verse 22, verse 24, and spoken of
at the very end of verse 33. So looking at these,
desired here that the Lord would show us, give
us great clarity on this in the blessing and
the healing and the working in our own marriages.
If I have time, I also hope to dig into 1 Peter
3 a little bit, but I didn't read it because
I'm not sure if I'm going to have time. So if
I get there and I have time, then I'll read it
and make some comments about it. But I do want
to point out, though, that the final exhortation
in 1 Peter 3 is one that we do well to consider
as we're looking at the component parts. Looking
here at the husband, the wife, their relationship
to each other and how it differs. but there's
also to be a mutual love and an understanding
and a submission to Christ together. Well, in
1 Peter chapter 3, after he discusses in verses
1 to 6 about women, and then in verse 7 to men,
he then says these wonderful words in verses
8 to 9. He says that all should be of one mind,
having compassion for one another. Love as brothers.
Be tenderhearted, be courteous, not returning
evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on
the contrary, wise blessing, knowing that you
were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.
So now keep this in mind because as we are married
together, we are husband and we are wives. There's
husbands, there's wives, but we are also one
in Christ. We are brothers and sisters in Christ
as well as being a husband and a wife. And there
are certain qualities, there are certain things
that should be present in all of us as we are
married together. And Peter speaks of these.
He says we're to be of one mind. That is, we
strive to be of one mind in these things, to
have a common understanding, not only of the
relationships of marriage, but over a Christian
doctrine. We try to be of one mind. mind and
we are also to have compassion one for another
and so as we think about when i speak to the
men uh and you know i don't want you to get puffed
up and say look at me here or really be down
oh man i can never do this but have compassion
one for another so wives let's have some compassion
for our husbands they do need it honestly we
do sometimes but at the same time men let's have
compassion for our wives in what god has given
to them They face things that we don't, both
the same and the other. Right now, there's a
few pregnant women that are here, and you're
blessed with bearing a child. This is something
that a man will never understand. He will never
understand the pain, the emotional upheaval,
and all that goes in, the changing of your body
and of bearing another human being. So have compassion
on her. So together we have compassion one with
another. We are to love, love fondly. The scripture
says here, love as brothers. That is, there's
to be a close love. And with that love comes
tenderheartedness with each other and courtesy.
Yeah, you know what, men? You're supposed to
be courteous to your wives and wives courteous
to your husband. Courtesy, even just common courtesy
will go a long way in building up your relationship
together. Courteous. And on top of that. Not
returning evil for evil or reviling for reliving.
Well, you said this to me and you were angry,
so I can be angry back at you or whatever else
it might be. We're not to return evil for evil.
The fact that your husband sins does not give
you the right to sin and vice versa, or the right
that one shouts at the other. So we shout back
or we get into conflict and feelings and all
of these things. We're not to return evil for
evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary,
blessing. We are called to this so that we might
inherit a blessing. Now, all of that is just
dessert because we're going to get into the meat
of things. But I think it's crucial for us to
understand this, that as we look at the component
parts, it's all framed by this type of living
together. I would to God that every home that
is in this congregation would reflect this kind
of qualities, that we would be of one mind, that
we would have compassion for one another, that
we would love each other sincerely, that we would
be tenderhearted towards each other, that we
would extend common and Christian courtesy to
one another. That we would not return evil for
evil or reviling for reviling, but that we would
bless one another, even when the other one isn't
doing what they ought to. And knowing that we
are called to this so that we might inherit a
blessing. Now, there are two other things that
are noteworthy before we get into the meat of
the sermon. One is this. Our marriages are a
testimony to the world how Jesus loves his church.
Let me say that again. Our marriages are a testimony
of how Jesus loves his church. If your marriage
is terrible, filled with disobedience to the
word, with fighting and discord, rebellion, hatred
or envy and strife, or if it is cold and distant
and harsh, then we are giving a picture, but
it's not a good one. It is not a good one. We
are giving a wrong picture of Christ and of his
church to the world. But on the other side, if
our marriages are lovely, if they are of good
report, if they are a wonderful example of unity,
of love, of faith and hope, of problem solving,
of repentance and forgiveness for wrongs committed,
then it bears witness to the glory and the well
-being of the church and of Christ. It is a demonstration
of it and not a deterrent to it. Second, and
this is, in a way related to marriage. Today
is Reformation Sunday. It is a day in which we
remember the great work of God done in the 16th
century that brought renewal, revival, and a
renewed interest in the Holy Scriptures. This
was a work of the Holy Spirit, and we rejoice
today and continue in the apostolic teaching
that was greatly revived and renewed in the Protestant
Reformation. But did you know that this reformation
also brought about a reformation in marriage?
Yes, it did. Well, first, priests in the church
were no longer required to be celibate, but were
able to take a wife. Marriage also came to be
understood as a divine institution of God and
not as a sacrament. Now, there's a difference
here. So the Roman Catholic Church taught that
marriage was a sacrament. And therefore, no divorce
was ever allowed. It was only an annulment would
be a possibility. And there were some results
from that. And when it came to be understood
that this is a divine institution by God, but
that God also frames it. Now, follow with me
here. actually then permitted divorce in cases
of adultery and abandonment now what this did
we might think oh okay is that right well actually
yes it is because it's it provides greater accountability
what happened is that it became a restraint to
men in violating the covenant and especially
in abusing their wives without restraint and
discipline Reformers like Luther stressed the
husband's duty to love his wife sacrificially
as Christ loves the church. John Calvin similarly
emphasized mutual fidelity and care, but he also
strongly condemned domestic cruelty, which was
a big problem. It was a huge problem. Wife beating
was a thing. And not just something that was
common, that was just every now and then. No,
it was very common. Luther got heavily involved
in a situation of a fairly well -known cook who
beat his wife regularly for years. And eventually
through the changes that came, he was able to
be brought before court and condemned for what
he did. And there were sanctions applied to him.
Reformation churches, also then created oversight
bodies. Like there was something in Geneva, which
is where Calvin was, called Geneva's Consistory,
and it was a moral court that heard marital complaints,
including abuse, and admonished husbands to cease
violence under threat of civil penalties. Geneva
became known for its justice and its safeguards
for those abused. with these protections. Some
even went to so far as to call it a woman's paradise.
So just very interesting and an anecdotal note
on reformational thinking and how it impacted
marriages. But also on this day. The second day
in October, two years ago, this congregation
met for the first time. So we also rejoice with
that. And we stand in amazement at wonder at
what God has done, for indeed it is him and not
us. And so we praise him and we worship him.
Soli Deo Gloria. To God be the glory. With that,
let's move into the passage. Going back now to
Ephesians chapter 5, beginning in verse 28 and
29, point number 1. The husband is to love his
wife like his own body, as the Lord does the
church. The husband is to love his wife like
his own body. So husbands ought to love their
own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his
wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his
own flesh. but nourishes and cherishes it just
as the Lord does the church. So what does it
mean to love her? Because there's a number of
words for loves in Greek in the New Testament.
And we also use love in a whole number of ways.
You might say, I love the ice cream. Okay, well,
the love that you feel for ice cream is entirely
different than the love you should feel for your
wife. There's a big difference. There's all sorts
of things where we say, I love this or I love
that. We love one another here in the congregation.
But again, the love of a wife has depths and
differences to it than that it does of loving
his brothers and sisters in the church. So what
does love here speak of? Let's first of all look
at the definition. This love is a welcoming love.
It is a love that means to be fond of and to
love dearly. So husbands, you are to be fond
of your wife. You are to love her dearly. You
are to be well pleased with her. And this is
the big one, and contented with her. Contentment
is the foundation that guards against many of
the other lusts and desires. if you have contentment
you're not going to commit adultery you're not
going to wish for somebody else and go and seek
somebody else or go to a harlot for satisfaction
if you are content with your wife then you and
you love her that's part of what this love means
you're contented with her but it is also a sacrificial
love It's the kind of love spoken of by Paul
to the Corinthians where he says that in abundantly
loving them, he would very gladly spend and be
spent for their souls. This is in 2 Corinthians
12 and verse 15. He would spend and be spent
for their souls. This is a sacrificial love where
husbands, this is to the husbands, husbands,
you are to be willing to spend and be spent for.
your wife. Now that doesn't just mean spending
your money, even though that's part of it. You
are to spend your money on behalf of your wife.
You're to provide for her. But at the same time,
you are to have an attitude of blessing her,
of spending yourself for her sake. It is the
kind of love, 1 John says in chapter 3 and verse
18, that is not only in word or tongue, but is
in deed and in truth. You cannot just say to
your wife, Oh, honey, I love you. I love you
so much. And then you don't spend yourself for
her in actual deeds that show that you love her
or in the truth of it. They become empty words
if they're only in word or tongue, but not in
deed or truth. So that describes the kind of
love that is commanded here. It is a welcoming
love, a fond love, and it is also a sacrificial
love, spending and being spent. So, but you're
to love her, Paul says here, the word of God
says, like your own body. The love that a man
has for his own life and for his own body in
providing for his needs, his food, his shelter,
and even his likes and his dislikes is now how
he is supposed to love his wife. Just like a
man does not typically want to be hurting himself
needlessly or tearing himself down or diminishing
himself, but has even what we would call a self
-interest in seeing to his own well -being. so
also he must do in equal measure to his wife,
loving her, not hurting her, building her up,
exalting her, seeing to her well -being, providing
tender care and shelter and food and all of her
needs. Now this also shows that our bodies...
are to be cared for, not mistreated, not hated,
not destroyed through addictions or through will
worship or false worship, teaching for doctrine,
the commandments of men that are not the word
of God. And we see this in times when we look
in history. You know, for example, I'm going
to seek salvation by lying on a bed of nails
or by crawling barefoot through glass or other
things like that. No, we're to care for our own
bodies. That is part of accepting and understanding
that this body that God has given to me is good.
And yeah, I mean, we do fall on things and we
experience certain things, but it's still, it's
intrinsically, or it is designed by God as to
be good and to be cared for. And so also we are
to do to our wives. God created us. We are to
take care of his creation. That means our bodies
and it means also our wives. This means... When
you look here and follow in this, Paul explains
this even further. He says, he who loves his
wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his
own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it,
just as the Lord does the church. So let's look
at these words, nourish and cherish. So nourish
your like -minded body means to nurture or to
cause growth. We nourish our bodies by eating
in order to survive, to be healthy and not malnourished,
that our bodies flourish and become more mature.
we see that our needs are met and that we grow
this word nourish is the same word as used in
Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 4 where fathers
are not to provoke their children to wrath but
to bring them up bring them up same word in the
training in the admonition of the Lord so it's
something here that where we eat we do all of
these things we care for ourselves in order that
we might grow and flourish so also a husband
is to nourish his wife so that she matures, so
that she grows, so that her needs are satisfied,
so that she advances in her own personal life.
That's what we're looking at here in nourishing.
And then he is to cherish her. Now this word
cherish, actually the literal meaning of it is
he keeps her warm. He keeps her warm. It's to
keep her warm. And so this we apply to taking
care to shelter, protection, and keeping, as
we do our own bodies, to keeping them warm. So
it also is to surround our wife with an environment
of tender love and care, of protection and of
warmth. This certainly means providing well.
making sure her needs are met, including food
and clothing. But it also carries with it the
idea of security, that she is loved, knowing
that she is loved by you, that you will keep
her safe and not hurt her, that you will listen
to her concerns, and you will provide for her
well -being. And this is not just for physical
needs, but it includes emotional and spiritual.
Both a husband and a wife have needs that only
the other can provide. Like Paul says in 1 Corinthians
7 and verse 3, let the husband render to his
wife the affection due her and likewise also
the wife to her husband. Your wife. men, is do
your affection. And this doesn't mean just in
intimate matters, but it is in all of life. Your
affection and care for her, your love, that she
is the love of your life. And so you are to rejoice
with her, like the wise man says in Proverbs
5, verse 18, you're to be enraptured with her
love and not with an immoral woman or a seductress.
Proverbs 5, 19, verse 20. This then goes on,
or this then instructs us as we derive from this,
that harsh, mean, degrading, down -putting, demeaning
words all destroy this. Physical abuse destroys
this. Sexual abuse destroys this. And rather
than making her beautiful, being nourished and
cherished, she then withdraws, is hurt, is put
down and is in stress and hardship because of
wicked actions. So take care as we nourish, as
we cherish, as we love that you treat her well,
just as you treat your own body. Just as you
don't abuse or beat or browbeat or manipulate
or degrade your own body, so also you cannot
do this to your wife, the one that you are to
nourish, to cherish, and to love. Now all of
this is again a picture of how Christ loves his
church. All that I just described here, then
there's a different dimension to it, certainly,
because Christ is in heaven and we are here and
Christ does not dwell with us in bodily form
sitting right here. But he does dwell with us
and he feeds us. He provides for us. We look
at all of the glories that Jesus gives to us
as we love him and we worship him. I mean, just
think about it. And this is something that we've
been learning. As we sit here and we worship
together, not only do we give unto God praise
and glory, but Christ also feeds us. He feeds
us with his word. He grants us the spirit of
God that accompanies the eating of the bread
and the drinking of the wine. Because this is
part where he imparts to us. We receive from
him and we also give to him. He gives, we respond.
That's what worship, what the Lord's Day service
is all about. It is Christ feeding us and we
giving our worship to him and responding to him.
But so Christ does, it says here, the Lord does
not hate us. He does not hate us or he would
be hating his own flesh. He does not hate us.
He loves us with a sacrificial love. He nourishes
us. He gives us food. And he gives us all the
provisions that we all enjoy in our physical
comforts. And he cherishes us. He draws us close.
He provides for us. He gives us comfort when
we go through difficult times. He gives us encouragement
sometimes through other brothers or other sisters.
But it comes through Christian love and charity
that is extended to us in the body. The Lord
loves his body. And so also is a man to love
his wife. These are the parallels and they go
together hand in hand. Just as the Lord does
the church, so also we are to do this. Finally,
then under this and loving your wife. We are
also then to live with her as a fellow heir of
the grace of life. And I'd like to speak to that
just a moment as we consider this matter of loving
as our own body. Because she is also a fellow
heir together with us. And this comes from the
book of 1 Peter chapter 3 and verse 7. So I'm
going to take this and apply it. Husbands, likewise,
dwell with them, that is your wives, with understanding.
giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel
and as being heirs together of the grace of life.
Why? That your prayers be not hindered. This
is really an incredible verse. I think we need
to expand this a little more. And ladies, if
we don't get to your part in this today, we just
won't. But I want to really drive this home to
us. Husbands. We are to dwell with our wives
with understanding. That is, we're to know her.
We're to know her strengths. We're to understand
her weaknesses and her temptations to sin. And
in all of that, we are to live in an understanding
way. That is, you appreciate and value the strengths
that she has and you do not lay unnecessary burdens
on her that exacerbate or make greater her weaknesses
and her temptations. You live with her with understanding
in an understanding way. This includes, number
two, from this passage, giving. her honor. You
give her honor. That is, you treat her with special
kindness and with respect. You understand that
she is physically weaker than you. I mean, that's
99, but there's obviously a very, very small
infinitesimal chance that that might not be.
But in practically all cases, men are simply
stronger than women. They can do things. That's
one of the problems where in some of the, like
in some of the army thing and firefighting things
that really should just be for men, they had
to lower the standards so that the women could
achieve parity with the men because otherwise
they just couldn't. They're designed differently.
And that's by God, by creation. So understand
that she is physically weaker than you. The passage
speaks about as to the weaker vessel. And so
you honor her with your attention. You honor
her in listening to her. You honor her in asking
counsel of her, into taking her into your thought
processes. You seek her wisdom. You know that
when you make rash mistakes, especially in financial
matters, she will experience pain and trials
because of your decisions. This happens, brothers.
I speak from experience. This also forbids manipulation
and control or withholding affection in order
to get what you want. Oh, we have so many devious
ways. of being selfish and trying to get our
own way. We can have such subtle ways sometimes
of just a tone of voice that we can use where
we can, did you know you can even use a tone
of voice to manipulate and control? Yes, you
can. And I'm not speaking just about in anger,
also that hurt thing, that hurt vibe that we
can put on to try and elicit pity and get her
to do something she doesn't want to do because
we're feeling hurt about it. You can just go
on and on in looking at the different ways in
which we, in our fallen state, we can control,
we can manipulate, we can do anything but giving
honor and treating her with the special kindness
and respect that she deserves. By this, women
sin. So what I'm doing is, what I'm saying in
all of this is, You're commanded to do this,
but your wife will sin. Just like men sin and
they have their issues, so do women. You know,
back in the Victorian days, there was often this
thing of where women were just so, they were
the lofty creatures. They were the spiritual
ones and men were the brutes. And there was really
a big mischaracterization that was going on in
some of those things. And of course, when you
look at the temperance movement and... Yeah,
there are men who are brutes, but there's also
really some very crazy sinful women too in very
bad ways. All I'm saying here in this is when
the scripture speaks to the man as to how you're
to treat your wife, it's not like she is some
especially sanctified or sainted individual that
can do no wrong. We're going to deal with women's
sins as well. We will. The point is here that
the scripture calls you to honor her. To honor
her as a weaker vessel. But you also honor her
as a sister in Christ. As a sister in Christ.
She is an heir of Christ like you are. You together
are heirs of the grace of life. which I believe
is speaking of the grace of Christ that comes
through life. She is your sister in Christ. And
as a Christian, she is an heir of the kingdom
according to the hope of eternal life. Titus
3 verse 7. She is a partaker of the promises
in Christ through the gospel. Ephesians 3 and
verse 6. As a sister in Christ, she is your equal.
She is entitled to all the hopes and the promises
that come through the Christian faith. She has
the same privileges. She has the same comforts.
She receives the same privileges and rewards
in heaven. Her body is a temple of the Holy Spirit
just like yours is. And she was bought with the
same price, the precious blood of Christ. So
treat her as your sister in Christ with honor
and respect. And this is all said here in this
verse. He ends with this somewhat cryptic statement,
but he says that your prayers be not hindered,
that your prayers be not hindered. What does
this mean? Well, Peter doesn't go on to explain
much of this other than just the fact that when
you are at odds with each other, when husbands,
you are not dwelling. together with your wife
with understanding, giving honor to them and
being heirs as being heirs together the grace
of life, then your prayers are being hindered.
Well, we get an insight into this if we go back
to Malachi 2. Remember last week, we looked at
Malachi chapter 2. So let's look at this again,
because here is a description of prayers being
hindered. This is in verse 13 and 14 in Malachi
2. And Malachi, the prophet here, was giving
an exhortation as to why God was not answering
their prayers. And he was cataloging the things
that they were done. But here is what he says.
This is the second thing you do. You cover the
altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and
crying. So he does not regard the offering anymore,
nor receive it with goodwill from your hands.
Yet you say, for what reason? Why is this happening?
Why isn't God hearing me? Malachi answers and
he says, because the Lord has been witness between
you and the wife of your youth with whom you
have dealt treacherously. Yet she is your companion
and your wife by covenant. When you're breaking
the covenant, when you're not living with her
in this kind of a way, when you're not treating
her as a fellow sister, an heir of Christ, and
as your companion, your prayers are hindered.
God looks here in this. He was saying, I'm not
going to regard their offering anymore. I'm not
going to receive it with goodwill because you
have dealt treacherously with your wife. I think
that this has bearing on the 1 Peter 3 passage,
on your prayers being hindered. Finally, men,
she is your glory. She is your glory. And this
we get from 1 Corinthians chapter 11. I need
to move on here, but this is an important one,
so I'm going to look at this as well. 1 Corinthians
chapter 11 and verse 7. For a man ought not to
cover his head. So this is speaking here, I believe,
in public worship. He ought not to cover his
head, since he is the image and the glory of
God. But woman is the glory of man. Now again,
as I said before, I'm not going to get into all
of the ins and outs of this passage. it would
take probably a series of sermons to really deal
with all of the implications. So I'm just going
to lift this one out, but not out of context,
I hope, and just saying that, woman, wives, you're
the glory of your husband. Husband, your wife
is your glory. When you mistreat her, you're
actually hurting your glory. Her face doesn't
shine with glory. She is not radiant because...
Of your treatment to her. So treat her in that
way. As we look at all of these. It all points
to this. That your wife is your glory. All right.
Number two. A man is to leave his father and
mother. And be joined to his wife. And the two
shall become one. And this we see as Christ.
is also we are Christ's body. We are united with
him. This is the parallel. Excuse me. Verse 30
through 32. So in marriage, a man is to leave
his father and his mother. He is to leave his
father and his mother. He can no longer stay
in the same capacity as when he was living as
a son in his home. In his parents home. He now
is to leave them. And so marriage therefore is
the creation and the formation of a new household.
You're creating a new household through the act
of marriage. This begins with the man leaving
his parents. This does not mean dishonoring them.
But it does mean that now. he is beginning a
separate household and that his first love after
Christ is to be his wife. He is now to be devoted
to her. This is done by, as the scripture says
here, by being joined to his wife and being one
flesh. In being joined to his wife, I believe
this is speaking of the marriage covenant. In
the marriage covenant, he promises to forsake
all others and to love her supremely. He vows
before God to fulfill his responsibilities to
her and she reciprocates with the appropriate
vows of a wife to him. These marriage vows, at
least if they're properly done, are actually
an oath before God. It is in a sense... swearing
to this because swearing or an oath is saying
something with confirmation to God and multiple
witnesses. And so that's what a marriage vow
is. You're saying this vow to each other. I will
do this. I will do this before God and before
all of these witnesses. It's one of the reasons
why a marriage ceremony is important and ceremonies
can look differently. Doesn't all have to necessarily
use the same wording, but it needs to be that.
Firm commitment that vow to one another before
God and with witnesses. But marriage also, this
joining also includes becoming one flesh. This
is sexual union. Without the vow, this act is
fornication and is sinful. 1 Corinthians 6, 15
and 16. Do you not know that your bodies are
members of Christ? Shall I then take the members
of Christ and make them members of a harlot?
Certainly not. Or do you not know that he who
is joined to a harlot is one body with her, for
the two, he says, shall become one flesh. But
there's not a marriage vow there. And so therefore
it's sinful. The act is sinful. He goes on to
say in 1 Corinthians 6 and verse 18, flee sexual
immorality. Flee it. But with the vow, this coming
together is right, it is good, and it is proper.
It is the way children are brought into the world.
The covenant is established for future generation
as God desires godly seed, that is descendants
who will worship God and will multiply on the
earth, fulfilling God's command to replenish
the earth and having dominion over it. This union
between a man and a woman, between a wife and
a husband, is much more though than a physical
act. It is also a great mystery. There are things
at play here that we do not fully understand.
Paul says, when he ends this, as he comes closer
to the end here, It says the two shall become
one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak
concerning Christ and the church. So drawing
from this, we understand that a husband and a
wife and being joined together in a mysterious
way. So also we as believers in Christ are members
of Christ's body. Even here it says in back in
verse 30, we are members of his body of his flesh
and of his bones. This is very similar language
to what Adam said when Eve was created in Genesis
chapter 2, verse 23. This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman
because she was taken out of man. And so the
similar language is being used here of Christ,
of the mystery of Christ in the church. Now,
because it's a mystery, I can't tell you all
about it. because I don't know all the ins and
outs. This is withheld from us in some ways.
But in a wonderful and mysterious way that as
Christ died for us and redeemed us, we as believers
in Christ are united together with him. We are
united. We live in union with Christ. Jesus describes
this in the book of John, chapter 15, 1 through
5. He describes himself as... The true vine and
we believers are in the branches and that we
must abide in him for spiritual life and fruitfulness.
We abide in Christ. He is the vine. We are the
branches. We are united together. We are together
in this. Also, he then says, apart from me, you
can do nothing. Verse five. We are members of
one body with Christ as the head. Through baptism,
we are all made to drink of one spirit and thus
are united together in Christ's body. This is
in 1 Corinthians 12, verse 12 and 13. Our old
selves have been crucified with Christ so that
it is no longer we who live. but Christ who lives
on us. Therefore, we can no longer follow after
the former desires and lusts of the flesh. Just
like when we are married, we are united together
and we can no longer follow after former desires
and lusts of the flesh. We are united together.
So in marriage, we are no longer free to go after
others or to lust after them or to long for them.
Not that we were afraid to lust at any time,
but there's a difference. When you're a young
man and you're looking, you're looking at various
women, you're evaluating as to whether this one
might be suitable for you as a wife. Not lusting,
but in just looking because right now you're
seeing who the Lord would have for you and who
is suitable for you. But once you're married,
that's it. You're united together with the one.
That you have chosen and together you live according
to God's ordinances. We have been united with
each other and we have that devotion, that loyalty,
and that protective care of each other. We are
to act in this way for a wonderful, a glorious,
and a harmonious marriage that reflects and illustrates
the glories of being united to Christ. As I said,
there are mysterious elements of this that we
do not know. But all that I've just given to
you, much of that was just directly from the
pages of Scripture that talk about our union
with Christ, being part of the vine, being baptized
together. Well, ladies, I'm just not going to
be able to get to your part today. But hopefully
this was instructive and edifying. So let me
wrap up here with just a couple applications.
Husbands, since it's you I've been talking to,
if you value your wife and the commitment that
she has made to love you, respect you and submit
to you, then it falls to you to walk worthy of
that love and respect and submission. Let that
weigh upon you in a good way. Sometimes there's
a saying, not sometimes, there is a saying, and
I use it sometimes, especially if I'm talking
to younger men, but men pull better when they
have a load. When something is placed on them,
God has designed them to bear the yoke, the burden
that is laid on them, and they find great fulfillment
in doing that. Otherwise, if you don't have a
yoke on you, if you don't have a burden of responsibility,
you become aimless. And kind of worthless. And
that's why you end up having 30 -year -olds in
their parents' basement just playing hours and
hours and hours and hours of video games. They're
filling up their time when instead they should
be carrying the yoke in their youth. So as we
consider that understanding, this is your yoke
right here when it comes to your wife. If you
love your wife, if you value her, if you have
a wife. and you look at the commitment that she
has made in her vow to you, to love you, to respect
you, to submit to you, then you need to walk
worthy of it. I'm going to place that load on
you, but you need the power of the Holy Spirit
to do it. But at the same time, just from man
to man, as the word of God, take the yoke upon
you. that Christ gives to you, and he will give
you the grace to bear it, but be worthy, walk
worthy of your wife's love, of her respect, of
her devotion, and of her obedience. And I will
say that if you love your wife in this way, most
times you will find that your wife will respond
to you with such an affection and a love of respect
and a reverence, and it will just be glorious.
It was a glorious picture. So men, lead in this.
Lastly, what if my marriage is not like this?
What if my marriage is not like this? How do
we do this? How do we handle this when our marriages
are sinful and they're laden down with guilt
or with problems or with insurrection or with...
difficulties are filled with arguments and we're
not reflecting the love of Christ. We're not
being a faithful witness to Christ. The scripture
teaches three things when it comes to sins and
situations like this. This is all with the understanding
that we need the power of the Holy Spirit. This
is not something we work up on our own, for it
is God who grants repentance, but still we are
to command repentance. There are three things.
These three things are very simple. You can apply
this to your needs in your life in pretty much
whatever it is. Repentance, mortification, and
obedience. Repentance. Come to the Lord and confess
your sins. Repent of them. Recognize your weakness.
Recognize the situation that your marriage is
in. If you're in a really hurting, wrongful marriage,
wrongful in the sense that it's filled with sin,
then you begin with repentance. Repentance toward
God and repentance toward each other. Ask for
the power of the Holy Spirit to grant you repentance.
But I urge you, you need to repent. But then
the second thing is mortification. Mortification
is a big word. It simply means to put to death.
You seek to put to death the things, the sins
that need to stop. Again, you need the power
of the Holy Spirit. But yet we're also told to
put off the old man and his deeds. And Paul lists
many of those deeds in a whole number of places
in the New Testament. But we're to... Put them
to death. Mortification. So repentance, mortifications,
and then third is obedience. You seek to obey.
You simply seek to say, you say, God, whatever
it takes, I'm willing to do this. I will obey
you in every way that I can. Again, you need
the power of the Holy Spirit for this. So all
of this needs to be bathed with prayer that God
would grant you the power of the Holy Spirit.
But in so doing, you repent. You mortify and
you're obedient to Christ. May the Lord bless
you all with this day. I've spoken plainly to
you in some of these things. I pray that the
Lord would bless you and would lift you up. I
do not mean this just in a heavy -handed way,
but rather just preaching the word of God that
it would bear fruit in your lives. May the Lord
be praised and worshiped. Let's pray together.