WEBVTT 00:00:04.080 --> 00:00:07.339 Our text for today is from the book of Ephesians 00:00:07.339 --> 00:00:15.279 chapter 5 in verses 22 to verse 33. Hear the 00:00:15.279 --> 00:00:20.859 word of the Lord as we look at husbands, love 00:00:20.859 --> 00:00:27.000 your wives as Christ loves the church. Verse 00:00:27.000 --> 00:00:30.579 22, wives submit to your own husbands as to the 00:00:30.579 --> 00:00:33.609 Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as 00:00:33.609 --> 00:00:36.530 also Christ is head of the church, and he is 00:00:36.530 --> 00:00:40.770 the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the 00:00:40.770 --> 00:00:43.630 church is subject to Christ, so let the wives 00:00:43.630 --> 00:00:47.229 be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, 00:00:47.229 --> 00:00:50.409 love your wives, just as Christ also loved the 00:00:50.409 --> 00:00:53.630 church and gave himself for her, that he might 00:00:53.630 --> 00:00:56.350 sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of 00:00:56.350 --> 00:01:00.310 water by the word. that he might present her 00:01:00.310 --> 00:01:04.390 to himself, a glorious church, not having spot 00:01:04.390 --> 00:01:07.829 or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should 00:01:07.829 --> 00:01:11.549 be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought 00:01:11.549 --> 00:01:14.829 to love their own wives as their own bodies. 00:01:15.069 --> 00:01:19.030 He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one 00:01:19.030 --> 00:01:22.370 ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes 00:01:22.370 --> 00:01:25.129 it just as Christ, just as the Lord does the 00:01:25.129 --> 00:01:29.030 church. For we are members of his body, of his 00:01:29.030 --> 00:01:33.650 flesh, and of his bones. For this reason, a man 00:01:33.650 --> 00:01:36.370 shall leave his father and mother, and shall 00:01:36.370 --> 00:01:39.510 be joined to his wife, and the two shall become 00:01:39.510 --> 00:01:46.150 one flesh. This is a great mystery. But I speak 00:01:46.150 --> 00:01:49.689 concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, 00:01:50.590 --> 00:01:53.370 Let each one of you in particular so love his 00:01:53.370 --> 00:01:56.310 own wife as himself and let the wife see that 00:01:56.310 --> 00:01:59.069 she respects her husband. Let's pray and ask 00:01:59.069 --> 00:02:01.590 God's blessing on this time together. Our Father, 00:02:01.670 --> 00:02:03.689 we thank you for this day. We thank you for the 00:02:03.689 --> 00:02:07.030 opportunity, Lord, as we're looking at this passage 00:02:07.030 --> 00:02:09.409 and the teaching of marriage in the Holy Scriptures. 00:02:09.689 --> 00:02:12.629 We pray that you would lead us and open us, open 00:02:12.629 --> 00:02:15.009 our hearts, Lord, to the truths of this word. 00:02:15.189 --> 00:02:17.650 We ask, Lord, for the power of the Holy Spirit. 00:02:18.250 --> 00:02:20.449 Lord, that we might understand this and preach 00:02:20.449 --> 00:02:23.250 it properly and correctly, Lord, and that you 00:02:23.250 --> 00:02:25.729 would open up the hearts of all who hear, that 00:02:25.729 --> 00:02:28.509 they also, Lord, by your Spirit, might hear and 00:02:28.509 --> 00:02:31.189 understand. Lord, we ask for your blessing on 00:02:31.189 --> 00:02:34.110 this time together. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen. 00:02:36.150 --> 00:02:40.810 This is the second sermon in our series on marriage. 00:02:41.069 --> 00:02:43.310 It began last week, and we're going to be continuing 00:02:43.310 --> 00:02:46.599 on for at least another week or two. And in order 00:02:46.599 --> 00:02:49.599 to understand the full -orbed understanding and 00:02:49.599 --> 00:02:52.699 the vision of what marriage is and how it works, 00:02:52.819 --> 00:02:55.780 we have to look also at the component parts. 00:02:55.960 --> 00:03:01.000 Because marriage is made of two, from two into 00:03:01.000 --> 00:03:04.560 one. Marriage is not something that one does 00:03:04.560 --> 00:03:09.120 to themselves. It requires two people, a man 00:03:09.120 --> 00:03:12.939 and a woman, being joined together in a covenant 00:03:12.939 --> 00:03:17.919 and... becoming one flesh. Without two people 00:03:17.919 --> 00:03:21.300 coming together, male and female, there is no 00:03:21.300 --> 00:03:24.199 marriage, no matter what the state or custom 00:03:24.199 --> 00:03:29.759 might say. All other mirages, or falsely called 00:03:29.759 --> 00:03:34.099 marriages, are in fact no such thing. God has 00:03:34.099 --> 00:03:37.180 so designed and arranged the man and the woman 00:03:37.180 --> 00:03:40.680 that they are like each other, and yet they are 00:03:40.680 --> 00:03:45.199 other than the other. So today we'll take a first 00:03:45.199 --> 00:03:47.960 look at the part of the man that is the husband. 00:03:48.419 --> 00:03:51.699 Last week we looked at the creation of marriage 00:03:51.699 --> 00:03:54.740 by God and we considered the purposes of marriage 00:03:54.740 --> 00:03:58.280 as he intended it. The institution of marriage 00:03:58.280 --> 00:04:02.360 was created for companionship, for fruitfulness 00:04:02.360 --> 00:04:05.939 and procreation, for a help to man's mission 00:04:05.939 --> 00:04:09.400 and dominion on the earth, also for a help against 00:04:09.400 --> 00:04:15.199 sin. and for a living illustration of Jesus and 00:04:15.199 --> 00:04:19.800 his church. All of this is bound up and woven 00:04:19.800 --> 00:04:24.839 together in the covenant of marriage, a beautiful 00:04:24.839 --> 00:04:31.819 tapestry of man and woman in Christ. The rite 00:04:31.819 --> 00:04:34.279 of holy matrimony in the 2010 Book of Common 00:04:34.279 --> 00:04:37.709 Prayer states this most beautifully. This is 00:04:37.709 --> 00:04:41.009 to be given at wedding services, but it's also 00:04:41.009 --> 00:04:43.670 inspirational again for us as we think of this. 00:04:43.910 --> 00:04:47.050 Almighty God established the bond and covenant 00:04:47.050 --> 00:04:50.949 of marriage and creation as a sign of the mystical 00:04:50.949 --> 00:04:56.310 union between Christ and his church. The union 00:04:56.310 --> 00:04:59.910 of husband and wife in heart, body, and mind 00:04:59.910 --> 00:05:03.850 was ordained by God for the procreation of children 00:05:03.850 --> 00:05:06.009 and their nurture in the knowledge and love of 00:05:06.009 --> 00:05:09.519 the Lord. for mutual joy and for the help and 00:05:09.519 --> 00:05:13.019 comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity, 00:05:13.360 --> 00:05:17.480 to maintain purity so that husbands and wives 00:05:17.480 --> 00:05:20.800 with all the household of God might serve as 00:05:20.800 --> 00:05:24.040 holy and undefiled members of the body of Christ, 00:05:24.279 --> 00:05:27.860 and for the upbuilding of Christ's kingdom in 00:05:27.860 --> 00:05:32.319 family, in church, and society, to the praise 00:05:32.319 --> 00:05:36.040 of his holy name. Now this covenant is spoken 00:05:36.040 --> 00:05:38.399 of in a number of places and we're going to look 00:05:38.399 --> 00:05:41.399 at it more closely here in a moment. But I'd 00:05:41.399 --> 00:05:43.420 like at the beginning here just to look back 00:05:43.420 --> 00:05:46.839 at the book of Malachi chapter 2 for a brief 00:05:46.839 --> 00:05:51.860 bit. Because this book, it really fleshes this 00:05:51.860 --> 00:05:55.300 out, this passage. The men of Judah had been 00:05:55.300 --> 00:05:59.480 traitors. They were adulterers who were profaning 00:05:59.480 --> 00:06:02.639 true worship and they were profaning marriage. 00:06:03.519 --> 00:06:06.500 That is the Lord's holy institution which he 00:06:06.500 --> 00:06:10.639 loves by divorcing their wives, dealing treacherously 00:06:10.639 --> 00:06:13.920 with them, and marrying unbelieving women who 00:06:13.920 --> 00:06:16.939 served foreign gods. Then they were coming back 00:06:16.939 --> 00:06:19.480 to the altar of the Lord and they were weeping 00:06:19.480 --> 00:06:21.600 and they were crying and they were covering the 00:06:21.600 --> 00:06:25.920 altar of the Lord with tears. But God did not 00:06:25.920 --> 00:06:28.720 regard their offering anymore nor receive it 00:06:28.720 --> 00:06:33.970 with goodwill. They were asking why. The prophet 00:06:33.970 --> 00:06:37.129 Malachi, after recounting this, he speaks to 00:06:37.129 --> 00:06:41.110 them the words of God and says, Because the Lord 00:06:41.110 --> 00:06:44.509 has been witness between you and the wife of 00:06:44.509 --> 00:06:48.829 your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously. 00:06:49.129 --> 00:06:55.750 Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. 00:06:56.269 --> 00:06:59.550 Did he not make them one, having a remnant of 00:06:59.550 --> 00:07:02.779 the Spirit? And why one? That is, why are husband 00:07:02.779 --> 00:07:07.660 and wife made one? Prophet Malachi says, he seeks 00:07:07.660 --> 00:07:11.860 godly offspring. Therefore, take heed to your 00:07:11.860 --> 00:07:15.120 spirit and let none of you deal treacherously 00:07:15.120 --> 00:07:17.579 with the wife of his youth. For the Lord God 00:07:17.579 --> 00:07:20.579 of Israel says that he hates divorce for it covers 00:07:20.579 --> 00:07:24.839 one's garment with violence, says the Lord of 00:07:24.839 --> 00:07:29.550 hosts. Therefore, take heed to your spirit. That 00:07:29.550 --> 00:07:33.790 you do not deal treacherously. All this is found 00:07:33.790 --> 00:07:39.230 in Malachi chapter 2 verses 11 through 16. This 00:07:39.230 --> 00:07:41.689 covenant of marriage is designed by God to be 00:07:41.689 --> 00:07:44.329 fruitful in bearing and raising children. Not 00:07:44.329 --> 00:07:46.889 just for the sake of populating the earth. But 00:07:46.889 --> 00:07:49.410 to be incorporated as part of the fulfillment 00:07:49.410 --> 00:07:52.269 and obedience to the great commission. Which 00:07:52.269 --> 00:07:56.009 is what? To make disciples by baptizing and teaching 00:07:56.009 --> 00:08:00.519 the word of God. to fill the earth with worshipers 00:08:00.519 --> 00:08:04.839 of God through Jesus Christ by the Holy Spirit. 00:08:06.060 --> 00:08:09.040 But when we look at this classic passage on marriage 00:08:09.040 --> 00:08:14.459 in Ephesians 5, we see a whole additional layer 00:08:14.459 --> 00:08:19.079 to this. Marriage, the Word of God says, is a 00:08:19.079 --> 00:08:23.639 great mystery. It is a mystery in that it is 00:08:23.639 --> 00:08:28.300 a living illustration and a picture. of Christ 00:08:28.300 --> 00:08:31.660 and the church. Now there are many parallels 00:08:31.660 --> 00:08:35.779 between the two realities of marriage and the 00:08:35.779 --> 00:08:38.820 union between Christ and the church. Some of 00:08:38.820 --> 00:08:41.059 these are found in this passage in Ephesians 00:08:41.059 --> 00:08:46.480 5. Here's a few of them. First, just as the wife 00:08:46.480 --> 00:08:49.820 is subject to Christ, I'm sorry, just as the 00:08:49.820 --> 00:08:53.539 church is subject to Christ, being in submission 00:08:53.539 --> 00:08:58.299 to Christ, so the wife is to be to her own husband 00:08:58.299 --> 00:09:02.059 as unto the Lord. This is in verse 22 and verse 00:09:02.059 --> 00:09:06.460 24. The second parallel is that the husband is 00:09:06.460 --> 00:09:11.539 head of his wife just as Christ is head of the 00:09:11.539 --> 00:09:14.279 church. That's the second parallel, verse 23. 00:09:14.679 --> 00:09:19.019 And then third, husbands are to love their wives 00:09:19.019 --> 00:09:23.779 like Christ loved the church. It's the third 00:09:23.779 --> 00:09:28.279 parallel, verse 25. And then finally, a man is 00:09:28.279 --> 00:09:30.460 to leave his father and mother and be joined 00:09:30.460 --> 00:09:33.200 to his wife, which is paralleled by the fact 00:09:33.200 --> 00:09:36.419 that Christian believers by faith are united 00:09:36.419 --> 00:09:39.779 with Christ, members of Christ's body, of his 00:09:39.779 --> 00:09:43.220 flesh and of his bones. That's verse 30 and 31. 00:09:43.679 --> 00:09:46.840 Today, I will not be covering nearly all of these. 00:09:47.179 --> 00:09:50.059 I plan to preach on the second and the third 00:09:50.059 --> 00:09:53.039 parallel. As Jesus is the head of the church, 00:09:53.220 --> 00:09:56.000 so the husband is head of the wife. And secondly, 00:09:56.120 --> 00:09:59.860 as Jesus loved the church, so the husband is 00:09:59.860 --> 00:10:04.519 to love his wife. So let's look at this. First 00:10:04.519 --> 00:10:07.720 of all is, number one, husband, you are the head 00:10:07.720 --> 00:10:10.919 of your wife as Jesus is head of the church. 00:10:11.179 --> 00:10:15.419 This is stated most clearly in verse 23. For 00:10:15.419 --> 00:10:17.700 the husband is head of the wife as also Christ 00:10:17.700 --> 00:10:21.319 is head of the church and he is the Savior. Now 00:10:21.319 --> 00:10:24.759 the word head is used twice in this verse, and 00:10:24.759 --> 00:10:26.980 it's the same. It's the same Greek word that 00:10:26.980 --> 00:10:29.840 is used. So whatever it means that Christ is 00:10:29.840 --> 00:10:32.500 the head of the church, so also we take it to 00:10:32.500 --> 00:10:35.100 mean that the husband is head of his wife. But 00:10:35.100 --> 00:10:39.080 then we want to ask right away, so how does Jesus 00:10:39.080 --> 00:10:43.200 exercise his headship? What are the ways in which 00:10:43.200 --> 00:10:47.360 Jesus demonstrates and acts in the position of 00:10:47.360 --> 00:10:51.080 headship? Well, the first thing is that Jesus 00:10:51.080 --> 00:10:55.519 submits to his Father. And in that submission, 00:10:55.879 --> 00:10:59.139 he then exercises the authority and responsibility 00:10:59.139 --> 00:11:04.240 delegated to him as head. In this, God the Father 00:11:04.240 --> 00:11:08.100 has committed all authority to the Son. We see 00:11:08.100 --> 00:11:09.820 that in the Great Commission in the beginning 00:11:09.820 --> 00:11:12.580 of it. Jesus comes to the disciples and he says, 00:11:12.720 --> 00:11:16.840 All authority has been given to me in heaven 00:11:16.840 --> 00:11:21.000 and on earth. Now, Paul expands on this in great 00:11:21.000 --> 00:11:23.860 detail in Colossians chapter 1, that glorious 00:11:23.860 --> 00:11:27.519 passage that Jesus is the image of the invisible 00:11:27.519 --> 00:11:30.580 God. He's the firstborn over all creation. By 00:11:30.580 --> 00:11:33.720 him were all things created. He is before all 00:11:33.720 --> 00:11:36.480 things. In him all things consist. And he is 00:11:36.480 --> 00:11:41.299 the head of the body, the church. And so, but 00:11:41.299 --> 00:11:44.879 the first thing is that Jesus... In receiving 00:11:44.879 --> 00:11:49.100 that headship and then in exercising it, he was 00:11:49.100 --> 00:11:51.899 submissive to the Father. And we're going to 00:11:51.899 --> 00:11:55.259 break that apart in a little bit later. But we 00:11:55.259 --> 00:11:58.679 understand that this is very important. There 00:11:58.679 --> 00:12:05.100 is a delegated authority here. It's not, well, 00:12:05.220 --> 00:12:09.840 it's delegated by the Father. Secondly, we see 00:12:09.840 --> 00:12:13.600 how Jesus leads as the head of his church. And 00:12:13.600 --> 00:12:16.639 a good, good way to do that is to study the letters 00:12:16.639 --> 00:12:19.139 to the seven churches in book of Revelation chapter 00:12:19.139 --> 00:12:21.919 two and three, where Jesus gives the apostle 00:12:21.919 --> 00:12:25.279 John seven letters to seven different churches. 00:12:25.360 --> 00:12:29.159 So he is showing his authority in this, but look 00:12:29.159 --> 00:12:31.720 at how he leads. I don't have the time to do 00:12:31.720 --> 00:12:33.960 this today to go through all of these letters, 00:12:34.039 --> 00:12:37.559 but I would encourage you go read those and look 00:12:37.559 --> 00:12:42.679 at how Jesus leads his church. Look at his account. 00:12:42.759 --> 00:12:47.080 at his commendations, see his love, the exhortations, 00:12:47.080 --> 00:12:50.580 and the rebuke and the chastening and call for 00:12:50.580 --> 00:12:54.379 repentance where it was needed. Then after the 00:12:54.379 --> 00:12:57.080 rebuke, he gives a strong rebuke to the church 00:12:57.080 --> 00:13:00.080 in Laodicea, but at the end of it, he offers 00:13:00.080 --> 00:13:05.799 them restoration and fellowship with him. Jesus 00:13:05.799 --> 00:13:10.500 rules over all creation, and yet he also orchestrates 00:13:10.500 --> 00:13:15.570 events for the good, of his bride for the good 00:13:15.570 --> 00:13:18.590 of the church we see this in Romans chapter 8 00:13:18.590 --> 00:13:23.970 in verse 28 how that he ordains good in all circumstances 00:13:23.970 --> 00:13:28.549 he provides for her he gives gifts to her furthermore 00:13:28.549 --> 00:13:31.909 number four and we look seeing how Jesus how 00:13:31.909 --> 00:13:37.409 Jesus is the head he defends his bride the church 00:13:37.409 --> 00:13:42.379 he defends her In Hebrews 7 and verse 25, he 00:13:42.379 --> 00:13:45.580 always lives to make intercession to the Father 00:13:45.580 --> 00:13:49.700 for her. In John chapter 10, verse 11 through 00:13:49.700 --> 00:13:53.860 15, Jesus is the good shepherd who lays down 00:13:53.860 --> 00:13:57.580 his life for the sheep and he rescues them from 00:13:57.580 --> 00:14:02.299 danger and from enemies. In Romans 8, verse 33 00:14:02.299 --> 00:14:06.720 and 34, Jesus defends his church from accusations 00:14:06.720 --> 00:14:10.970 and from condemnation. And in Revelation 19, 00:14:11.190 --> 00:14:15.230 verse 11 through 16, Jesus is portrayed as a 00:14:15.230 --> 00:14:18.549 victorious warrior who defeats the forces of 00:14:18.549 --> 00:14:22.669 evil that come against her. All of this is how 00:14:22.669 --> 00:14:27.649 Jesus leads and is the head of his church. Much 00:14:27.649 --> 00:14:30.789 more could be said, but in all of these ways, 00:14:30.909 --> 00:14:34.629 Jesus demonstrates what headship is like. So 00:14:34.629 --> 00:14:37.169 then the follow -up question is this. How then 00:14:37.169 --> 00:14:41.129 should a husband exercise his headship like Christ? 00:14:42.529 --> 00:14:45.529 Well, first of all, having been delegated by 00:14:45.529 --> 00:14:49.049 God as a head, this is something that he is. 00:14:49.509 --> 00:14:53.730 God set him there. He put him there. This is 00:14:53.730 --> 00:14:56.029 not talking about whether he accepts it or not. 00:14:56.090 --> 00:14:58.250 It's just the fact that he is. He might be a 00:14:58.250 --> 00:15:00.250 good head. He might be a bad head. He might be 00:15:00.250 --> 00:15:03.370 a needful one. There's all sorts of ways. But 00:15:03.370 --> 00:15:06.389 the fact is, That that's the way creation is. 00:15:06.509 --> 00:15:10.549 God placed him as a head. But the Holy Spirit 00:15:10.549 --> 00:15:14.950 then immediately instructs the husband how he 00:15:14.950 --> 00:15:18.009 is to be that head in the following verses. But 00:15:18.009 --> 00:15:22.029 first, a husband must understand that his headship, 00:15:22.110 --> 00:15:27.169 his authority, is limited by God. It is limited 00:15:27.169 --> 00:15:31.129 by God. It is given by God, but it is also limited 00:15:31.129 --> 00:15:36.159 by God. Because he is a man who is under authority 00:15:36.159 --> 00:15:39.879 to God, to the church, and to civil government. 00:15:40.259 --> 00:15:44.419 This means that he cannot be of himself authoritarian 00:15:44.419 --> 00:15:48.500 or autocratic. This headship is not the ability 00:15:48.500 --> 00:15:51.500 for him to do whatever he wants to do because 00:15:51.500 --> 00:15:56.240 he reports to his head and he submits to him. 00:15:57.120 --> 00:16:00.940 So a husband must understand that. A husband 00:16:00.940 --> 00:16:06.519 also. serves his wife how does he serve he does 00:16:06.519 --> 00:16:11.279 so by leading her well like Jesus Jesus who said 00:16:11.279 --> 00:16:18.419 yet I am among you as the one who serves I am 00:16:18.419 --> 00:16:21.539 among you as the one who serves in Luke 22 verse 00:16:21.539 --> 00:16:24.940 27. Husbands, you lead your wife and you provide 00:16:24.940 --> 00:16:28.580 for her by being the head as Jesus is head over 00:16:28.580 --> 00:16:31.279 the church and he is the savior of the body. 00:16:31.360 --> 00:16:35.220 In other words, you see to the good of your wife. 00:16:35.860 --> 00:16:40.000 Psalm 112 describes this kind of man as being 00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:45.220 gracious, full of compassion and righteous. Gracious, 00:16:45.220 --> 00:16:49.679 full of compassion. and righteous. Clark in his 00:16:49.679 --> 00:16:52.559 commentary puts it this way, Jesus is the savior 00:16:52.559 --> 00:16:55.539 of the body, Paul says here, and he says, as 00:16:55.539 --> 00:16:58.419 Christ exercises authority over the church so 00:16:58.419 --> 00:17:02.480 as to save and protect it, so let the husband 00:17:02.480 --> 00:17:06.279 exercise authority over his wife by protecting, 00:17:06.599 --> 00:17:10.599 comforting, and providing her with every necessity 00:17:10.599 --> 00:17:15.799 and comfort of life according to his power. In 00:17:15.799 --> 00:17:22.509 the put so beautifully now men this has not come 00:17:22.509 --> 00:17:28.710 naturally to us by our fallen nature we well 00:17:28.710 --> 00:17:32.990 sometimes we're blockheads kind of kind of stiff 00:17:32.990 --> 00:17:35.529 and hard to understand we we don't know how to 00:17:35.529 --> 00:17:37.849 do this well by our nature we don't understand 00:17:37.849 --> 00:17:42.009 how this is done in fact our natural idea of 00:17:42.009 --> 00:17:45.799 headship often runs counter to this in various 00:17:45.799 --> 00:17:49.559 ways. We might think that headship is like a 00:17:49.559 --> 00:17:52.099 club. We get to throw our weight around. We get 00:17:52.099 --> 00:17:55.859 to be the big boss and act in a demeaning or 00:17:55.859 --> 00:18:00.210 a superior way. But headship... As Jesus is ahead, 00:18:00.410 --> 00:18:03.509 it's not tyrannical. It is not browbeating, threatening, 00:18:03.670 --> 00:18:06.390 or forcing your will. It is not treating your 00:18:06.390 --> 00:18:08.890 wife like a little child or closing your eyes 00:18:08.890 --> 00:18:11.829 and ears against her desires and forging ahead 00:18:11.829 --> 00:18:14.490 with your plans without due consideration and 00:18:14.490 --> 00:18:17.490 carefulness and thoughtfulness or talking down 00:18:17.490 --> 00:18:20.789 to her in a demeaning way or treating her like 00:18:20.789 --> 00:18:25.130 she is beneath you to be trampled upon. No. It's 00:18:25.130 --> 00:18:28.089 not that, but sometimes we think it is that way. 00:18:28.150 --> 00:18:32.150 We use it like a club. Or another thing that 00:18:32.150 --> 00:18:35.690 happens is that we're afraid of it. We don't 00:18:35.690 --> 00:18:37.990 know how to do this well. And so we're just afraid 00:18:37.990 --> 00:18:40.210 of it. And so we don't know how to lead well. 00:18:40.349 --> 00:18:42.950 Maybe we've had a bad experience in the past 00:18:42.950 --> 00:18:45.849 of things that we've seen or simply maybe because 00:18:45.849 --> 00:18:48.950 we have not been taught. And so we just back 00:18:48.950 --> 00:18:53.529 away from it because we're afraid of it. Or thirdly, 00:18:54.009 --> 00:18:57.529 We might be lazy and abdicate our leadership. 00:18:57.869 --> 00:19:01.589 We simply want the convenience of marriage, having 00:19:01.589 --> 00:19:05.329 a lawful sexual relationship. Maybe we want children, 00:19:05.410 --> 00:19:07.789 but we don't embrace the responsibility that 00:19:07.789 --> 00:19:11.650 comes with a household. That's also another option. 00:19:11.750 --> 00:19:15.890 We simply abdicate. We say, I don't want this. 00:19:16.049 --> 00:19:19.029 Have you ever heard the saying, I didn't sign 00:19:19.029 --> 00:19:24.450 up for this? I have. I've read it. Yeah. I didn't 00:19:24.450 --> 00:19:28.009 sign up for this. Yes, you did. Okay. You might 00:19:28.009 --> 00:19:30.549 not have known it, but you did. God has placed 00:19:30.549 --> 00:19:34.950 you there. Abdication is not an option. To not 00:19:34.950 --> 00:19:38.029 exercise our headship with diligence and faithfulness 00:19:38.029 --> 00:19:40.910 is to do our wife a disservice. You cannot say, 00:19:41.009 --> 00:19:43.509 I don't want to be bothered with leadership. 00:19:43.809 --> 00:19:47.450 It's hard and I don't feel like it. Honestly, 00:19:47.630 --> 00:19:51.069 as I look at these three natural ideas, I think, 00:19:51.420 --> 00:19:53.839 that the third is probably the most prevalent. 00:19:54.079 --> 00:19:56.039 I just don't want to deal with this. I'm going 00:19:56.039 --> 00:19:59.279 to be lazy, and I'm going to abdicate. Now, sometimes 00:19:59.279 --> 00:20:01.980 the two are kind of mixed together. Lazy and 00:20:01.980 --> 00:20:04.019 abdicate, but then we still yell and throw our 00:20:04.019 --> 00:20:08.460 headship around. So I urge you to study to lead 00:20:08.460 --> 00:20:12.599 with the reality that you are one flesh. Your 00:20:12.599 --> 00:20:16.299 wife is your glory. 1 Corinthians 11, verse 7. 00:20:16.440 --> 00:20:20.269 And this involves the greatest gift of all. Which 00:20:20.269 --> 00:20:27.250 is love. Love. 1 Corinthians 16 verse 13. Watch. 00:20:27.589 --> 00:20:31.930 Stand fast in the faith. Be brave. Be strong. 00:20:32.150 --> 00:20:37.450 Let all that you do be done with love. Let all 00:20:37.450 --> 00:20:41.250 that you be done. All that you do be done with 00:20:41.250 --> 00:20:43.509 love. And this brings us to our second point. 00:20:43.730 --> 00:20:48.049 A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved. 00:20:48.490 --> 00:20:52.609 The church. Verse 25 through 27. So again, we're 00:20:52.609 --> 00:20:54.650 going to follow the same pattern. How did Jesus 00:20:54.650 --> 00:20:58.150 love his wife, his bride, the church? How does 00:20:58.150 --> 00:21:01.529 he love her? Well, first of all, he gave himself 00:21:01.529 --> 00:21:06.680 for her. He gave himself for her. He is the savior 00:21:06.680 --> 00:21:10.180 of his body. This is the essence of the gospel. 00:21:10.359 --> 00:21:14.240 That Jesus went to the cross. That he shed his 00:21:14.240 --> 00:21:16.920 blood. That his hands and his feet were nailed 00:21:16.920 --> 00:21:20.099 to the cross. And that his side was pierced. 00:21:20.220 --> 00:21:23.740 The prophet Isaiah says, Surely he has borne 00:21:23.740 --> 00:21:29.319 our griefs and carried our sorrows. This is Jesus. 00:21:30.089 --> 00:21:32.890 He was wounded for our transgressions. He was 00:21:32.890 --> 00:21:36.210 bruised for our iniquities. The chastisement 00:21:36.210 --> 00:21:39.630 for our peace was upon him, and by his stripes 00:21:39.630 --> 00:21:44.670 we are healed. This is how Jesus loves his wife, 00:21:44.869 --> 00:21:48.930 the church of Jesus. In that way, he gave himself 00:21:48.930 --> 00:21:56.470 for her. Number two, how does a husband love 00:21:56.470 --> 00:21:59.170 his wife? I mean, how does Jesus love the church? 00:21:59.789 --> 00:22:03.269 He embraced his responsibilities of sanctifying 00:22:03.269 --> 00:22:06.710 and cleansing her with the washing of water by 00:22:06.710 --> 00:22:10.190 the word. Now, this is the type of baptismal 00:22:10.190 --> 00:22:13.130 language in picture, but the washing is done 00:22:13.130 --> 00:22:18.170 by the word of God. This is in verse 26 of Ephesians 00:22:18.170 --> 00:22:21.230 5, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with 00:22:21.230 --> 00:22:24.069 the washing of water by the word, that he might 00:22:24.069 --> 00:22:28.109 present her to himself a glorious church. So 00:22:28.109 --> 00:22:30.349 all things were created by the word of the Lord, 00:22:30.430 --> 00:22:32.910 by the word of God. The heavens were of old and 00:22:32.910 --> 00:22:35.430 the earth standing out of water and in the water, 00:22:35.549 --> 00:22:39.970 2 Peter 3, verse 5. And so God uses the word 00:22:39.970 --> 00:22:43.690 of God to wash and to cleanse. And through the 00:22:43.690 --> 00:22:46.730 word of God, we are shown God's law. We are washed 00:22:46.730 --> 00:22:49.029 clean from our sins and we, by the aid of the 00:22:49.029 --> 00:22:53.390 Holy Spirit, are able to obey our head. So Jesus... 00:22:55.980 --> 00:22:59.299 Loves the church by washing her with the word 00:22:59.299 --> 00:23:02.900 of God. And then he makes her a glorious church 00:23:02.900 --> 00:23:06.799 without spot or wrinkle, one who is holy without 00:23:06.799 --> 00:23:12.359 blemish. Jesus reconciled his people to God the 00:23:12.359 --> 00:23:16.380 Father, presenting them to himself as holy and 00:23:16.380 --> 00:23:20.480 blameless and above reproach. In the prophecy 00:23:20.480 --> 00:23:24.680 of the church, the prophet Isaiah says, of this, 00:23:24.680 --> 00:23:28.460 of his people, they shall be also a crown of 00:23:28.460 --> 00:23:33.460 glory in the hand of the Lord and a royal diadem 00:23:33.460 --> 00:23:38.079 in the hand of your God. This is how Jesus loved 00:23:38.079 --> 00:23:42.319 the church. So then how is a husband to love 00:23:42.319 --> 00:23:46.119 his wife? Well, the passage says that he is to 00:23:46.119 --> 00:23:50.619 like Christ loved the church. So let's. Let's 00:23:50.619 --> 00:23:53.339 put some shoe leather on this. How is a husband 00:23:53.339 --> 00:23:57.960 then exhorted to love his wife? Well, as Jesus 00:23:57.960 --> 00:24:02.180 gave himself, so also you are husbands to give 00:24:02.180 --> 00:24:06.240 yourself for your wife. You are no longer on 00:24:06.240 --> 00:24:08.920 your own to do your own things without consideration 00:24:08.920 --> 00:24:13.660 of her. She took your name. She became wrapped 00:24:13.660 --> 00:24:18.200 up in your identity. Be willing to give yourself. 00:24:18.759 --> 00:24:22.900 for her, to hurt for her sake, to sacrifice yourself, 00:24:23.339 --> 00:24:27.119 your time, your money, and your resources for 00:24:27.119 --> 00:24:32.599 her. Now, time is very important. Time. Brothers, 00:24:32.799 --> 00:24:39.420 a wife needs time. She needs your time. Time 00:24:39.420 --> 00:24:44.140 that is devoted to her. Make sure that you provide 00:24:44.140 --> 00:24:47.869 that. This is part of giving yourself. Now, I 00:24:47.869 --> 00:24:50.130 know that in the time period of life with little 00:24:50.130 --> 00:24:53.910 ones, this can be hard, but it still is needful. 00:24:54.390 --> 00:24:57.390 It also means patience. Remember that she is 00:24:57.390 --> 00:25:00.369 other than you. She is like you, but she is also 00:25:00.369 --> 00:25:03.650 other than you. She does not think in the same 00:25:03.650 --> 00:25:06.579 way that you think. Her emotions are different. 00:25:06.720 --> 00:25:09.940 The way she processes things is different. Her 00:25:09.940 --> 00:25:12.859 ability to multitask and keep many things going 00:25:12.859 --> 00:25:16.099 at one time is different than you. You're able 00:25:16.099 --> 00:25:19.599 to compartmentalize. She not so much, generally 00:25:19.599 --> 00:25:22.180 speaking. And there's many other things that 00:25:22.180 --> 00:25:26.180 she is other than you. So rather than being irked 00:25:26.180 --> 00:25:29.859 at that otherness or despising it, embrace it. 00:25:30.039 --> 00:25:32.339 Appreciate the difference, the otherness, and 00:25:32.339 --> 00:25:35.400 marvel at it. But sometimes this also requires 00:25:35.400 --> 00:25:38.599 patience on your part. And so exercise that patience. 00:25:38.819 --> 00:25:41.839 And then thirdly, in giving yourself, invest 00:25:41.839 --> 00:25:46.319 in her. Invest in her. Be intentional in learning 00:25:46.319 --> 00:25:49.839 how she is, how she thinks, and how she responds 00:25:49.839 --> 00:25:52.859 to you. There's also some good books that I can 00:25:52.859 --> 00:25:55.619 recommend that can help you in that, in learning. 00:25:55.779 --> 00:25:58.980 So feel free to ask me about that. So give yourself 00:25:58.980 --> 00:26:03.150 for your wife. Second, You aid in your wife's 00:26:03.150 --> 00:26:06.529 sanctification and cleansing by giving her the 00:26:06.529 --> 00:26:10.549 word of God, by giving it to her. Sometimes, 00:26:10.650 --> 00:26:12.950 especially if there's a couple little ones, your 00:26:12.950 --> 00:26:16.970 wife is very pressed. She can't just go off by 00:26:16.970 --> 00:26:19.789 herself for an hour just because she wants to. 00:26:19.809 --> 00:26:23.130 It's not always possible to do that. And no matter 00:26:23.130 --> 00:26:25.450 what, you still, she needs to hear your perspective, 00:26:25.650 --> 00:26:28.029 your understanding, your wisdom. So give her 00:26:28.029 --> 00:26:32.529 the word of God. Wash her with the word. Jesus 00:26:32.529 --> 00:26:35.309 in the high priestly prayer of John 17, verse 00:26:35.309 --> 00:26:40.230 17, asked the father to sanctify his disciples 00:26:40.230 --> 00:26:45.049 by the word because the word of God is truth. 00:26:45.759 --> 00:26:49.740 This was prayed for, for his disciples, but also 00:26:49.740 --> 00:26:55.099 for all who believe in him through their word. 00:26:55.259 --> 00:26:57.259 And that, brothers and sisters, that includes 00:26:57.259 --> 00:27:01.160 us. Jesus prayed for us in that high priestly 00:27:01.160 --> 00:27:05.700 prayer. And he asked the Father to sanctify us 00:27:05.700 --> 00:27:09.460 by the word. So this means, husbands, that you 00:27:09.460 --> 00:27:11.480 have to read the word. You need to get into it. 00:27:11.519 --> 00:27:14.660 You need to understand it. You need to seek after 00:27:14.660 --> 00:27:17.200 it. Seek to understand in the best way possible 00:27:17.200 --> 00:27:22.299 what God's word is saying and speaking to all 00:27:22.299 --> 00:27:25.339 together and especially to you as a husband. 00:27:25.759 --> 00:27:28.720 So you read the word, you explain the word, and 00:27:28.720 --> 00:27:31.259 you apply the word to various circumstances in 00:27:31.259 --> 00:27:34.220 all of life. You read and discuss the word together. 00:27:34.440 --> 00:27:37.900 You pray together. You orient your lives in, 00:27:38.000 --> 00:27:42.480 on, and around the word of God. So read it. Study 00:27:42.480 --> 00:27:45.630 it. Pray for understanding and know how to answer 00:27:45.630 --> 00:27:49.309 questions. Sometimes you bring the word to bear 00:27:49.309 --> 00:27:51.450 on a particular sin and you may need to give 00:27:51.450 --> 00:27:54.410 correction or admonition. Sometimes you will 00:27:54.410 --> 00:27:57.789 be convicted or receive correction yourself and 00:27:57.789 --> 00:28:00.910 you demonstrate the grace of God in acknowledging 00:28:00.910 --> 00:28:05.029 that wrong or that sin without excuses by asking 00:28:05.029 --> 00:28:08.069 for forgiveness, owning it, and seeking to put 00:28:08.069 --> 00:28:11.309 it to death. This also, washing her with the 00:28:11.309 --> 00:28:14.589 word, also includes leading in the public, in 00:28:14.589 --> 00:28:17.069 the attendance of the public worship of God. 00:28:18.589 --> 00:28:21.450 And much more could be said about that, but we'll 00:28:21.450 --> 00:28:26.569 move on. Thirdly, how's a husband exhorted to 00:28:26.569 --> 00:28:32.190 love his wife? By seeing that she becomes glorious 00:28:32.190 --> 00:28:37.410 and holy. That she becomes glorious and holy. 00:28:38.880 --> 00:28:40.640 Let me say this real quickly. You're not the 00:28:40.640 --> 00:28:43.259 Holy Spirit. And what I'm preaching here does 00:28:43.259 --> 00:28:45.500 not mean that, that you're the Holy Spirit. Obviously, 00:28:45.519 --> 00:28:48.220 the Holy Spirit deals within the heart in ways 00:28:48.220 --> 00:28:51.839 that we cannot. So we understand that. But at 00:28:51.839 --> 00:28:54.920 the same time, as you give yourself to your wife 00:28:54.920 --> 00:28:58.099 and you wash her with the word of God and you 00:28:58.099 --> 00:29:00.839 love her as Christ loved the church, you will 00:29:00.839 --> 00:29:05.420 find that she will become more glorious and beautiful 00:29:05.420 --> 00:29:09.049 the longer time goes by. And not only filled 00:29:09.049 --> 00:29:11.849 with glory. But will grow to a greater level 00:29:11.849 --> 00:29:15.309 of holiness and obedience to Christ. If your 00:29:15.309 --> 00:29:18.329 wife is not flourishing. Is troubled and stressed 00:29:18.329 --> 00:29:22.950 by her own sin. Or by your own actions toward 00:29:22.950 --> 00:29:27.690 her. Take stock. Consider. Ask God to show her 00:29:27.690 --> 00:29:34.730 how you can love her like this. But also. Understand 00:29:34.730 --> 00:29:39.369 that in your headship. You. are responsible. 00:29:40.670 --> 00:29:45.490 You men are responsible. Now your wife sins. 00:29:45.809 --> 00:29:48.869 She will sin. She will need to repent and ask 00:29:48.869 --> 00:29:52.349 forgiveness. And as I said, you're not the Holy 00:29:52.349 --> 00:29:56.750 Spirit, but you are responsible as her head to 00:29:56.750 --> 00:30:00.299 love her, to deal with things. to take the word 00:30:00.299 --> 00:30:03.880 of God, to bring that word to her, to love her 00:30:03.880 --> 00:30:06.559 as Christ loved the church, to aid her in her 00:30:06.559 --> 00:30:09.140 sanctification and cleansing by the washing of 00:30:09.140 --> 00:30:12.660 the word, and to make every provision for her, 00:30:12.759 --> 00:30:16.799 to be a glorious wife and woman, one who is free 00:30:16.799 --> 00:30:20.480 in Christ, made alive by him, and is worshiping 00:30:20.480 --> 00:30:24.480 and serving him with all of her heart. The apostle 00:30:24.480 --> 00:30:30.180 Paul tells Timothy, Warning about false teachers, 00:30:30.319 --> 00:30:34.900 false and godless teachers who will creep into 00:30:34.900 --> 00:30:39.619 households and make captives of gullible women 00:30:39.619 --> 00:30:44.799 loaded down with sins. Led away by various lusts, 00:30:44.799 --> 00:30:48.259 always learning and never able to come to the 00:30:48.259 --> 00:30:53.400 knowledge of the truth. Men, wash your wife with 00:30:53.400 --> 00:30:57.480 the word. Be to her. that faithful and loving 00:30:57.480 --> 00:31:00.900 husband. May she be loved and appreciated in 00:31:00.900 --> 00:31:04.640 your eyes, but also watch out for the wolves 00:31:04.640 --> 00:31:07.460 that want to come in. Watch out for the little 00:31:07.460 --> 00:31:10.559 foxes that spoil the vines, the little things, 00:31:10.680 --> 00:31:13.720 the little irritants that come and grow into 00:31:13.720 --> 00:31:18.539 much greater things. But see, by the power and 00:31:18.539 --> 00:31:22.500 grace of God, that she becomes glorious and holy. 00:31:23.690 --> 00:31:26.349 I'd like to wrap up with just a few final applications. 00:31:27.309 --> 00:31:32.470 Remember 1 Corinthians 13, verse 4 to 7. Love 00:31:32.470 --> 00:31:38.049 suffers long and is kind. Love does not envy. 00:31:38.509 --> 00:31:42.869 Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up, 00:31:42.990 --> 00:31:47.410 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, 00:31:47.670 --> 00:31:54.119 is not provoked, thinks no evil. does not rejoice 00:31:54.119 --> 00:31:58.220 in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth, bears 00:31:58.220 --> 00:32:03.220 all things, believes all things, hopes all things, 00:32:03.500 --> 00:32:08.740 endures all things. Right there is love fleshed 00:32:08.740 --> 00:32:16.019 out even more. Love is the greatest of all. Matthew 00:32:16.019 --> 00:32:21.650 Henry notes this. He says, He notes that the 00:32:21.650 --> 00:32:26.109 woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam. 00:32:26.809 --> 00:32:29.369 She was not made out of his head to rule over 00:32:29.369 --> 00:32:32.289 him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon 00:32:32.289 --> 00:32:36.430 by him, but out of his side to be equal with 00:32:36.430 --> 00:32:40.349 him, under his arm to be protected, and near 00:32:40.349 --> 00:32:44.789 his heart to be beloved. Ah, that is just such 00:32:44.789 --> 00:32:49.029 a wonderful, wonderful statement. Now, this sermon 00:32:49.029 --> 00:32:53.130 is given in the context of Christian couples, 00:32:53.250 --> 00:32:56.170 of husbands and wives who know Christ, who have 00:32:56.170 --> 00:32:58.410 repented of their sins and trusted in Christ, 00:32:58.670 --> 00:33:02.529 whose hearts have been made new. And so, if you 00:33:02.529 --> 00:33:05.769 do not know personally, if you do not personally 00:33:05.769 --> 00:33:09.309 know God through Jesus Christ, by the Holy Spirit, 00:33:09.529 --> 00:33:13.230 then I press upon you, repent and believe with 00:33:13.230 --> 00:33:16.730 all your heart. You can never work yourself into 00:33:16.730 --> 00:33:19.690 a right relationship with Christ or with each 00:33:19.690 --> 00:33:23.269 other by your own works, by your own good deeds. 00:33:23.549 --> 00:33:28.549 You can only be saved by the grace of God through 00:33:28.549 --> 00:33:32.250 faith in Christ and not of yourselves. It is 00:33:32.250 --> 00:33:35.930 the gift of God. So come to Jesus and believe 00:33:35.930 --> 00:33:39.269 in him. Is your marriage a wreck? Come to Jesus 00:33:39.269 --> 00:33:44.789 and trust in him. He is the answer. For you, 00:33:44.890 --> 00:33:49.349 for God so loved the world that he gave his only 00:33:49.349 --> 00:33:52.609 begotten son that whoever believes in him should 00:33:52.609 --> 00:33:57.930 not perish but have everlasting life. Now, you 00:33:57.930 --> 00:34:02.470 might be saying, but my husband is not like this. 00:34:03.390 --> 00:34:07.609 Or you might be saying, my wife doesn't respond 00:34:07.609 --> 00:34:11.639 to my affection. So what do I do? What if my 00:34:11.639 --> 00:34:15.639 husband or my wife has addictions, addictions 00:34:15.639 --> 00:34:19.820 to porn or to illicit books or to mind -altering 00:34:19.820 --> 00:34:23.460 drugs or to hours and hours of screen time with 00:34:23.460 --> 00:34:26.420 no time for me? What shall I do when life is 00:34:26.420 --> 00:34:30.079 crumbling or when divorce seems imminent or when 00:34:30.079 --> 00:34:33.619 I cry for help and no one comes or I just want 00:34:33.619 --> 00:34:36.760 out because I'm tired of the stress that is tearing 00:34:36.760 --> 00:34:40.800 me apart? I cannot answer all of these from the 00:34:40.800 --> 00:34:43.780 pulpit today, but I will give this quickly and 00:34:43.780 --> 00:34:47.380 I hope to expand it more in another sermon. Pray 00:34:47.380 --> 00:34:51.980 earnestly. Look to Christ who hears your cry 00:34:51.980 --> 00:34:56.360 and your prayer and who is your sustainer. Read 00:34:56.360 --> 00:34:59.019 the word of God and pray for understanding by 00:34:59.019 --> 00:35:03.380 the Holy Spirit and get pastoral shepherding 00:35:03.380 --> 00:35:07.659 help that will feed you and guide you with integrity. 00:35:09.869 --> 00:35:12.730 Lord willing, next Sunday, we're going to look 00:35:12.730 --> 00:35:15.429 at additional parallels between marriage and 00:35:15.429 --> 00:35:17.889 Jesus and the church. We're going to continue 00:35:17.889 --> 00:35:20.929 in Ephesians 5 and probably also be looking at 00:35:20.929 --> 00:35:24.269 1 Peter chapter 3. So come with open hearts and 00:35:24.269 --> 00:35:27.349 minds to learn God's ways in this important subject 00:35:27.349 --> 00:35:30.869 of marriage. Let's pray.