WEBVTT 00:00:05.839 --> 00:00:08.640 Hey, this is Mack, back with another episode of 00:00:08.640 --> 00:00:13.220 Write is Wrong. Here we go. Chapter 4, Dreams 00:00:13.220 --> 00:00:20.699 and Disappointments. Bob and Jake's afternoon 00:00:20.699 --> 00:00:23.480 at Yamashiro Hollywood, overlooking the city 00:00:23.480 --> 00:00:25.660 that had promised them so much and delivered 00:00:25.660 --> 00:00:28.519 so little, became a meditation on middle -aged 00:00:28.519 --> 00:00:31.510 disappointment and unrealized potential. They 00:00:31.510 --> 00:00:33.950 sat on a bench with Los Angeles spread out below 00:00:33.950 --> 00:00:37.329 them like a map of broken dreams. I love Sundays, 00:00:37.649 --> 00:00:40.310 Jake said, taking a deep breath of the smoggy 00:00:40.310 --> 00:00:44.950 air. Not me, Bob replied. Why not? Because I 00:00:44.950 --> 00:00:48.090 have to go back to work the next day. Dude, you 00:00:48.090 --> 00:00:50.030 can't let the thought of that place ruin the 00:00:50.030 --> 00:00:53.189 days that you're not even there. Have I mentioned 00:00:53.189 --> 00:00:56.509 just how much I hate that job? Bob asked. This 00:00:56.509 --> 00:00:58.509 is the first time today. I'm surprised you made 00:00:58.509 --> 00:01:01.259 it this long. I can't believe this is where I 00:01:01.259 --> 00:01:04.260 am in life, as a writer. What's that guy's name 00:01:04.260 --> 00:01:09.519 again? Jake asked. Colonel Compost. Colonel Compost. 00:01:09.959 --> 00:01:14.000 What a terrible gimmick. The guy is such a creep, 00:01:14.219 --> 00:01:18.200 Bob said. What's his real name again? Jake asked. 00:01:19.159 --> 00:01:24.799 Ron Jockman. Ron Jockman? Wow, that name just 00:01:24.799 --> 00:01:29.560 screams asshole. More than Colonel Compost? I 00:01:29.560 --> 00:01:32.659 think Rear Admiral has been criminally underused 00:01:32.659 --> 00:01:35.340 by comedy writers. As far as military titles 00:01:35.340 --> 00:01:40.879 go, Jake mused. What? Think about it. Rear Admiral? 00:01:41.939 --> 00:01:46.459 Yeah, I get it, Bob said. Hilarious. I bet Vanessa 00:01:46.459 --> 00:01:49.260 would agree with me on that. Hey, can we get 00:01:49.260 --> 00:01:51.519 back to... Oh, right, sorry. You were saying? 00:01:52.500 --> 00:01:55.200 I was saying, I should be writing for a real 00:01:55.200 --> 00:01:58.109 show by now. Instead, I'm stuck on the lowest 00:01:58.109 --> 00:02:02.170 rated kids show on TV, Bob said. Lowest rated? 00:02:03.090 --> 00:02:06.489 Fucking dead last. Quite an accomplishment, huh? 00:02:07.209 --> 00:02:09.789 You know there's literally hundreds of kids TV 00:02:09.789 --> 00:02:12.849 shows out there, Jake pointed out. Yeah, I'm 00:02:12.849 --> 00:02:17.490 aware. Maybe thousands. Your point? No point 00:02:17.490 --> 00:02:19.550 really. Just wondering how they track all that 00:02:19.550 --> 00:02:22.409 and then label something as the worst. That's 00:02:22.409 --> 00:02:26.009 not, that's not really helping. I'm sorry, dude. 00:02:26.250 --> 00:02:28.729 It's not your fault. You can't polish a turd. 00:02:29.490 --> 00:02:32.330 Yeah, but I know I can do better. And it's about 00:02:32.330 --> 00:02:34.069 more than just working for that abusive prick. 00:02:35.009 --> 00:02:38.330 What do you mean? Jake asked. It's totally taking 00:02:38.330 --> 00:02:40.830 the fun out of writing. I just don't care anymore. 00:02:41.990 --> 00:02:44.169 That's got to change, man. You're too talented 00:02:44.169 --> 00:02:47.930 not to care. Yeah, I guess, Bob said. I'm just 00:02:47.930 --> 00:02:52.169 tired of being wrong all the time. How so? Everything 00:02:52.169 --> 00:02:55.210 about my career is wrong. Shit. Everything about 00:02:55.210 --> 00:02:58.009 my life is wrong. I think you're being a little 00:02:58.009 --> 00:03:01.129 hard on yourself, Jake said. Oh, really? Mid 00:03:01.129 --> 00:03:04.990 -forties? Job I hate? No money? No wife? No kids? 00:03:05.509 --> 00:03:09.129 Live alone in a tiny apartment? Well, when you 00:03:09.129 --> 00:03:11.689 put it that way. But you see what I'm getting 00:03:11.689 --> 00:03:15.090 at. Take it easy, Bob. It'll happen for you. 00:03:15.150 --> 00:03:18.590 You still have time. I'm closing in fast on 50, 00:03:18.729 --> 00:03:22.490 dude. Clock's ticking. We still haven't peaked. 00:03:22.949 --> 00:03:27.289 Trust me. Jake said. What about you? You want 00:03:27.289 --> 00:03:29.129 to be writing ad copy for the rest of your life? 00:03:29.370 --> 00:03:32.710 Bob asked. It's easy money, dude. I can do that 00:03:32.710 --> 00:03:35.310 shit in my sleep. You didn't answer the question. 00:03:36.490 --> 00:03:39.610 You know the answer's no. Jake's phone buzzed 00:03:39.610 --> 00:03:43.469 with a text from Lisa. Love you. Miss you. So 00:03:43.469 --> 00:03:45.530 are you up for being an uncle? Jake asked, changing 00:03:45.530 --> 00:03:49.050 the subject. You up for being a dad? I don't 00:03:49.050 --> 00:03:52.509 know, man. Come on. It'll be awesome to have 00:03:52.509 --> 00:03:55.120 a little one running around. I guess I never 00:03:55.120 --> 00:03:57.360 thought it would happen. After the miscarriages, 00:03:57.460 --> 00:03:59.319 you try not to get too attached to the idea, 00:03:59.520 --> 00:04:03.219 Jake said. But it worked this time, Bob said. 00:04:04.039 --> 00:04:06.080 So I guess I should give in and enjoy the ride. 00:04:06.979 --> 00:04:08.979 You can't keep waiting for the bottom to drop 00:04:08.979 --> 00:04:12.800 out, dude. I never, ever thought I'd actually 00:04:12.800 --> 00:04:17.540 be a dad, Jake said. But here we are, dude, said 00:04:17.540 --> 00:04:20.199 Bob. They smiled at each other and looked out 00:04:20.199 --> 00:04:23.149 over Hollywood. Two middle -aged men contemplating 00:04:23.149 --> 00:04:26.189 the strange turns their lives had taken. I'm 00:04:26.189 --> 00:04:29.810 telling you, man, we have not peaked yet, Jake 00:04:29.810 --> 00:04:33.509 said with conviction. Word, said Bob. Let's go 00:04:33.509 --> 00:04:36.370 rub the Buddha for good luck. They stood up and 00:04:36.370 --> 00:04:38.490 walked over to the golden Buddha statue on the 00:04:38.490 --> 00:04:40.930 hillside, a ritual they'd performed countless 00:04:40.930 --> 00:04:44.449 times over the years. Hey, I have an idea that 00:04:44.449 --> 00:04:46.410 I want to talk to you about, Bob said as they 00:04:46.410 --> 00:04:50.050 approached the statue. Idea for what? A screenplay. 00:04:50.490 --> 00:04:53.709 Cool, let's hear it, Jake said. As they rubbed 00:04:53.709 --> 00:04:56.569 the Buddha's belly, Bob couldn't resist a juvenile 00:04:56.569 --> 00:04:59.689 observation. I think Buddha's getting a boner. 00:05:00.430 --> 00:05:03.230 I thought you wanted good luck, Jake said. I 00:05:03.230 --> 00:05:06.189 do. Then don't disrespect the Buddha with your 00:05:06.189 --> 00:05:10.730 potty mouth. Anyway, my idea. Right, the screenplay, 00:05:10.870 --> 00:05:14.149 Jake said. It's about... Their conversation was 00:05:14.149 --> 00:05:15.850 interrupted by a restaurant employee walking 00:05:15.850 --> 00:05:18.589 toward them with obvious irritation. Uh -oh, 00:05:18.689 --> 00:05:21.819 Jake muttered. What are you two doing? The employee 00:05:21.819 --> 00:05:25.519 demanded. We were just, Bob began. We're closed 00:05:25.519 --> 00:05:28.959 and you're trespassing. Trespassing? Jake asked. 00:05:29.259 --> 00:05:32.379 Read the sign, assholes. The employee pointed 00:05:32.379 --> 00:05:34.740 to a large no trespassing sign that seemed to 00:05:34.740 --> 00:05:37.560 have materialized out of nowhere. Was that sign 00:05:37.560 --> 00:05:40.259 always there? Bob asked. I'm calling the police. 00:05:40.879 --> 00:05:43.180 Bob and Jake looked at each other and ran toward 00:05:43.180 --> 00:05:45.680 Jake's car, their dignity abandoned in favor 00:05:45.680 --> 00:05:47.779 of avoiding a confrontation with Johnny Law. 00:05:52.300 --> 00:05:54.860 All right. Thanks for checking out this episode 00:05:54.860 --> 00:05:57.519 of Write is Wrong. Be sure to check back soon 00:05:57.519 --> 00:05:59.660 for another episode. Peace.