WEBVTT

00:00:06.320 --> 00:00:08.759
Hey, this is Mack, and welcome back to another

00:00:08.759 --> 00:00:12.939
episode of Right is Wrong. Chapter 2, The Gang's

00:00:12.939 --> 00:00:21.179
All Here. At a downtown L .A. hotel, Vanessa

00:00:21.179 --> 00:00:23.300
moved through the lobby with the confidence of

00:00:23.300 --> 00:00:25.120
someone who had learned to navigate the world

00:00:25.120 --> 00:00:28.839
on her own terms. At 44, the Latina TV producer

00:00:28.839 --> 00:00:31.219
had long black hair pulled back and a practical

00:00:31.219 --> 00:00:33.679
ponytail and sunglasses that seemed permanently

00:00:33.679 --> 00:00:36.219
affixed to her face. When the doorman offered

00:00:36.219 --> 00:00:38.719
to help her with her luggage, she quipped, I've

00:00:38.719 --> 00:00:40.460
got some emotional baggage I could use a hand

00:00:40.460 --> 00:00:44.380
with. The doorman looked confused. Ma 'am? Don't

00:00:44.380 --> 00:00:46.320
worry about it, champ, Vanessa said with a wry

00:00:46.320 --> 00:00:48.700
smile. Can I get you a cab? asked the doorman.

00:00:49.060 --> 00:00:51.460
She glanced at her phone, then at a car pulling

00:00:51.460 --> 00:00:53.659
up in front of the hotel. Don't sweat it. My

00:00:53.659 --> 00:00:56.759
Uber's here. Across town, Eric was living his

00:00:56.759 --> 00:00:59.820
own morning ritual. The 45 -year -old black musician

00:00:59.820 --> 00:01:02.359
with the blonde mohawk was headbanging to Megadeth's

00:01:02.359 --> 00:01:05.200
Wake Up Dead while brushing his teeth. His energy

00:01:05.200 --> 00:01:06.959
level suggested he'd either had a much better

00:01:06.959 --> 00:01:09.280
night than his friends or was simply better at

00:01:09.280 --> 00:01:13.019
hiding the damage. The coffee bean and tea leaf

00:01:13.019 --> 00:01:15.319
on this particular Sunday morning was a sensory

00:01:15.319 --> 00:01:17.540
assault course designed to test the patience

00:01:17.540 --> 00:01:21.299
of the hungover. As Bob and Jake waited in line,

00:01:21.420 --> 00:01:24.439
every sound seemed amplified. A screaming baby.

00:01:24.989 --> 00:01:27.530
Two teenage girls taking selfies, and worst of

00:01:27.530 --> 00:01:30.189
all, Love Fool by the Cardigans playing over

00:01:30.189 --> 00:01:34.310
the PA system like audio torture. Jesus Christ,

00:01:34.390 --> 00:01:37.269
I hate this song, Jake began, but Bob cut him

00:01:37.269 --> 00:01:39.290
off with a raised hand as they reached the counter.

00:01:40.290 --> 00:01:43.430
Triple espresso, Bob ordered, causing the young

00:01:43.430 --> 00:01:45.609
employee with the hipster beard to question the

00:01:45.609 --> 00:01:49.069
wisdom of such a request. Triple? the barista

00:01:49.069 --> 00:01:52.730
asked, his eyes widening. Just do it, man, Bob

00:01:52.730 --> 00:01:55.000
replied. paying quickly and escaping outside

00:01:55.000 --> 00:01:58.500
where the world felt slightly less hostile. They

00:01:58.500 --> 00:02:01.000
sat at a table that bore the remains of a previous

00:02:01.000 --> 00:02:03.640
customer's breakfast, a half -eaten muffin that

00:02:03.640 --> 00:02:06.900
neither acknowledged but both noted. Bob downed

00:02:06.900 --> 00:02:09.180
his triple espresso in one shot, as if it were

00:02:09.180 --> 00:02:14.139
medicine, then declared, and action. I'm really

00:02:14.139 --> 00:02:16.360
starting to freak out about all this baby stuff,

00:02:16.439 --> 00:02:20.139
Bob. Baby stuff? Bob looked genuinely confused.

00:02:20.719 --> 00:02:23.409
What do you mean? What do you mean, what do I

00:02:23.409 --> 00:02:26.810
mean? You know, Lisa's pregnant, I'm gonna be

00:02:26.810 --> 00:02:31.090
a dad. Ringing any bells? Bob stared at him blankly.

00:02:31.509 --> 00:02:34.449
When the fuck did this happen? I told you this

00:02:34.449 --> 00:02:36.849
weeks ago, Jake said, his voice rising slightly.

00:02:37.509 --> 00:02:41.430
Weeks ago? Several weeks ago. Maybe months. I

00:02:41.430 --> 00:02:44.449
know I did. Okay, maybe you did, Bob conceded,

00:02:44.449 --> 00:02:47.310
though he still looked confused. Pretty sure

00:02:47.310 --> 00:02:51.129
I did, Jake said. Eric arrived with his characteristic

00:02:51.129 --> 00:02:53.770
enthusiasm, sliding into a chair with a grin.

00:02:54.069 --> 00:02:57.750
And a good day to you too, gentlemen. Eric, did

00:02:57.750 --> 00:02:59.610
you know Jake here is going to be a dad? Bob

00:02:59.610 --> 00:03:02.370
asked. Hell yeah, Eric beamed. When's the little

00:03:02.370 --> 00:03:05.289
one due? I feel like I'm always the last to know,

00:03:05.409 --> 00:03:08.550
Bob muttered. We've talked about this, Jake insisted.

00:03:09.449 --> 00:03:11.430
You didn't notice that baby bump when we saw

00:03:11.430 --> 00:03:15.229
Lisa last week? Eric asked Bob. I just figured

00:03:15.229 --> 00:03:17.250
she put on a few pounds. I didn't want to say

00:03:17.250 --> 00:03:20.580
anything. Appreciate that, bro, Jake said. Better

00:03:20.580 --> 00:03:23.439
safe than sorry when it comes to that shit. Are

00:03:23.439 --> 00:03:26.879
you sure I knew this? Bob asked again. Vanessa

00:03:26.879 --> 00:03:29.240
arrived just as Bob was having his existential

00:03:29.240 --> 00:03:32.139
crisis, sliding into the last chair and immediately

00:03:32.139 --> 00:03:35.280
zeroing in on the abandoned muffin with the pragmatism

00:03:35.280 --> 00:03:37.639
of someone who had learned not to waste opportunities

00:03:37.639 --> 00:03:41.919
or food. Any of you clowns gonna eat that? She

00:03:41.919 --> 00:03:44.479
asked, pointing at the pastry. Easy there, Vanessa.

00:03:44.800 --> 00:03:46.819
That thing was here when we sat down, Jake warned.

00:03:47.180 --> 00:03:49.580
already showing signs of his impending fatherly

00:03:49.580 --> 00:03:52.120
instincts. See, you're going to be a great dad,

00:03:52.259 --> 00:03:54.599
Vanessa said with a smirk, always looking out

00:03:54.599 --> 00:03:57.740
for your little girl. It's a girl? Bob asked,

00:03:57.900 --> 00:04:01.280
his confusion deepening. Come on, Bob, where

00:04:01.280 --> 00:04:05.340
have you been? Vanessa shook her head. Wow, I

00:04:05.340 --> 00:04:08.340
must have amnesia or some shit, Bob said. Speaking

00:04:08.340 --> 00:04:11.020
of which, Jake interjected, anyone else suffering

00:04:11.020 --> 00:04:14.060
from a little alcohol -induced memory loss? Nope,

00:04:14.199 --> 00:04:17.129
Bob said. Well... except for the whole baby thing.

00:04:17.670 --> 00:04:21.129
Not me, Eric chimed in cheerfully. What is this,

00:04:21.189 --> 00:04:24.910
amateur hour? Vanessa asked with disdain. A simple

00:04:24.910 --> 00:04:28.829
no would have sufficed, Jake replied. So, I take

00:04:28.829 --> 00:04:30.790
it you don't remember sharing an ice cream cone

00:04:30.790 --> 00:04:33.149
with that homeless guy? Eric asked with a grin.

00:04:33.610 --> 00:04:36.050
Right, the guy with all the open sores on his

00:04:36.050 --> 00:04:38.810
lips, Vanessa added. I took video of that and

00:04:38.810 --> 00:04:42.069
posted it on TikTok. And the chunky cough, Eric

00:04:42.069 --> 00:04:44.889
continued. Pretty sure that's a new COVID strain.

00:04:45.449 --> 00:04:49.189
Or TB, Vanessa suggested. Yeah, lots of lung

00:04:49.189 --> 00:04:52.649
butter in there, Bob agreed. Wait, you posted

00:04:52.649 --> 00:04:55.470
it on TikTok? Jake's voice cracked with panic.

00:04:55.610 --> 00:04:58.930
Tell me you're kidding, please. Of course I'm

00:04:58.930 --> 00:05:01.189
kidding, Vanessa laughed. God, you're gullible.

00:05:02.089 --> 00:05:04.290
I've never liked any of you people, Jake declared.

00:05:05.110 --> 00:05:09.129
But we love you, bro, Eric said warmly. But seriously,

00:05:09.230 --> 00:05:12.269
guys, did I do anything stupid? Jake asked, his

00:05:12.269 --> 00:05:16.170
anxiety palpable. Relax, asshole, Vanessa said.

00:05:16.269 --> 00:05:19.629
You do this every time you get drunk. You guys

00:05:19.629 --> 00:05:22.250
know I always assume the worst. You didn't do

00:05:22.250 --> 00:05:24.649
anything but get drunk and run your mouth, Bob

00:05:24.649 --> 00:05:27.410
assured him. Jake threw his head back and exhaled

00:05:27.410 --> 00:05:30.790
loudly with relief. Anybody else hungry? Eric

00:05:30.790 --> 00:05:33.029
asked, then proceeded to take a bite of the muffin

00:05:33.029 --> 00:05:36.550
that had been left on the table. Dude! Jake exclaimed,

00:05:36.550 --> 00:05:39.509
dry heaving as Eric chewed contently. I'm so

00:05:39.509 --> 00:05:41.009
hungry I could eat a sandwich from a gas station,

00:05:41.269 --> 00:05:44.389
Eric said in between bites. Chevy Chase and Vacation,

00:05:44.490 --> 00:05:48.250
Bob identified, never gets old. Ugh, that's so

00:05:48.250 --> 00:05:51.389
gross, Jake complained. I happen to agree with

00:05:51.389 --> 00:05:54.470
Jake on this one, Vanessa said. How did I get

00:05:54.470 --> 00:05:57.509
home anyway? Jake asked. We poured you into an

00:05:57.509 --> 00:06:00.930
Uber, Bob replied. Is anybody else hungover,

00:06:01.009 --> 00:06:04.250
at least? Jake looked around hopefully. Vanessa

00:06:04.250 --> 00:06:07.769
raised her hand. A little. I've had better days,

00:06:07.930 --> 00:06:11.509
Bob admitted. I feel fucking great, Eric announced.

00:06:12.459 --> 00:06:15.759
What did we do all night, Jake asked. What have

00:06:15.759 --> 00:06:18.480
we been doing for decades, Bob replied. Listen

00:06:18.480 --> 00:06:21.379
to music, quote movie lines, talk about all the

00:06:21.379 --> 00:06:23.699
shit we want to do in life but haven't. You know,

00:06:23.759 --> 00:06:27.279
same old stuff. I've really got to stop doing

00:06:27.279 --> 00:06:29.300
this to myself, Jake said, rubbing his temples.

00:06:29.579 --> 00:06:33.639
What, asking dumb questions, Bob teased. Holy

00:06:33.639 --> 00:06:36.939
shit, my head hurts, Jake said. Vanessa stood

00:06:36.939 --> 00:06:39.600
up from the table. Yeah, I'm really going to

00:06:39.600 --> 00:06:48.019
miss all this. Okay, thanks for listening to

00:06:48.019 --> 00:06:51.480
this episode of Right is Wrong. Be sure to check

00:06:51.480 --> 00:06:54.100
back soon for another new episode. Thanks again.