WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.100 Last time in the bad articles, our knuckles made 00:00:03.100 --> 00:00:05.519 their way through a series of man-made puzzles 00:00:05.519 --> 00:00:08.560 beneath the sea senor and come upon some sort 00:00:08.560 --> 00:00:11.099 of massive cove. I wonder if I've got tunnels 00:00:11.099 --> 00:00:14.160 underneath my pub? Stick around to find out what 00:00:14.160 --> 00:00:16.839 happens next, unless you're a bloody coward. 00:00:18.179 --> 00:00:21.320 Since the dawn of time, Ireland has played host 00:00:21.320 --> 00:00:24.699 to unimaginable horrors, ushered in through an 00:00:24.699 --> 00:00:26.879 ever -wakening veil between our world and the 00:00:26.879 --> 00:00:30.879 other side. They live on. Among us, shaping our 00:00:30.879 --> 00:00:35.640 mythology, sowing chaos, scaring the shit out 00:00:35.640 --> 00:00:39.340 of people. Not all hope is lost. Underfunded, 00:00:39.479 --> 00:00:42.500 undergunned and underappreciated, the OSNA stand 00:00:42.500 --> 00:00:44.920 proudly in the way of unchecked otherworldly 00:00:44.920 --> 00:00:47.859 chaos. This secret network of brave volunteers 00:00:47.859 --> 00:00:50.780 put their lives and their sanity on the line, 00:00:50.840 --> 00:00:53.179 all for a better tomorrow. Have you ever been 00:00:53.179 --> 00:00:54.780 sleeping over at your cousin's house and his 00:00:54.780 --> 00:00:56.820 Ric Flair action figure turns to you in the night 00:00:56.820 --> 00:01:00.439 and says... and you freak out and wake up the 00:01:00.439 --> 00:01:02.979 cousin. But by that stage, the toy has gone dormant 00:01:02.979 --> 00:01:06.640 again. You'd better call the OSNA before you 00:01:06.640 --> 00:01:14.439 find yourself in the bad articles. We rejoin 00:01:14.439 --> 00:01:16.620 our knuckles as they have just completed three 00:01:16.620 --> 00:01:20.379 absolutely ludicrous man -made puzzles as they 00:01:20.379 --> 00:01:23.879 stand in a dark cove. And it is truly dark in 00:01:23.879 --> 00:01:26.579 here. While you can see the crow's nest, you 00:01:26.579 --> 00:01:28.159 can't see much else that what it's attached to. 00:01:28.750 --> 00:01:30.890 But as your eyes adjust, you begin to make out 00:01:30.890 --> 00:01:33.129 what appears to be the shape of a tiki torch 00:01:33.129 --> 00:01:35.969 at the edge of the platform. And next to it is 00:01:35.969 --> 00:01:38.310 a classic little coin -operated top -up machine 00:01:38.310 --> 00:01:40.769 with familiar gas lines from within the tunnel, 00:01:40.870 --> 00:01:44.530 feeding directly into the torch. The cat bolts 00:01:44.530 --> 00:01:47.450 off into the darkness and begins to hop down 00:01:47.450 --> 00:01:51.629 the rocks. No. Out of sight. No. You were going 00:01:51.629 --> 00:01:55.010 to be a friend for Kyle. It's coin -operated, 00:01:55.030 --> 00:01:57.730 but I'm a little light right now. I mean, I can... 00:01:58.090 --> 00:01:59.629 Put money in. I just, I don't know what will 00:01:59.629 --> 00:02:03.530 happen. Well, presumably. Oh, like any of us 00:02:03.530 --> 00:02:05.170 know what's going to happen. It's going to light 00:02:05.170 --> 00:02:08.889 up the space. It's the gas. It's the light. Should 00:02:08.889 --> 00:02:12.150 I put in money? Yes. All right. All right. Okay. 00:02:12.530 --> 00:02:16.780 I put in a pound coin. As the pound coin falls 00:02:16.780 --> 00:02:19.039 into the slot of the machine, you hear the hissing 00:02:19.039 --> 00:02:21.039 of gas, and the torch in front of you sparks 00:02:21.039 --> 00:02:23.939 to life, followed quickly by seven more torches 00:02:23.939 --> 00:02:27.300 that are dotted around the high platforms, utterly 00:02:27.300 --> 00:02:30.770 encircling this lagoon below. They go up like 00:02:30.770 --> 00:02:33.490 Gondor calling for aid. By the light of these 00:02:33.490 --> 00:02:35.849 eight torches, you are assaulted by the sheer 00:02:35.849 --> 00:02:39.090 size of this cove. It is massive, and as you 00:02:39.090 --> 00:02:40.870 trace your eyes down the length of the mast, 00:02:41.069 --> 00:02:44.050 you see a ship docked in the centre of the lagoon, 00:02:44.090 --> 00:02:46.550 damaged severely by the jagged rocks that are 00:02:46.550 --> 00:02:51.289 peppered amongst the water. What a sight to behold, 00:02:51.469 --> 00:02:54.409 eh? I think that cage leads us right to the dollar 00:02:54.409 --> 00:02:56.550 row, so... Yeah, I feel like we can't do anything 00:02:56.550 --> 00:02:58.930 else. All right. Honestly, I'm more concerned 00:02:58.930 --> 00:03:01.069 about being in a closed cage with you while you're 00:03:01.069 --> 00:03:02.870 covered in shit. You know what? You saved us 00:03:02.870 --> 00:03:04.789 from doing it, so I shouldn't complain. Okay. 00:03:04.870 --> 00:03:07.650 Now it seems like a good point as any. Babysitting? 00:03:08.229 --> 00:03:10.370 Babysitting me? Babysitting him? I get that. 00:03:10.370 --> 00:03:12.710 The cage is locked, and we're going down, so 00:03:12.710 --> 00:03:16.129 you can't get away. Babysitting me as well? Yeah. 00:03:16.469 --> 00:03:19.770 Sorry. Is there more to that outside of you're 00:03:19.770 --> 00:03:22.879 offended by it? For what? What actions of mine 00:03:22.879 --> 00:03:26.180 need babysat? This man's covered in shit. I don't 00:03:26.180 --> 00:03:27.840 know. You seem to be talking to your ex the whole 00:03:27.840 --> 00:03:32.939 time. When we were trapped. And? We're on a mission. 00:03:33.319 --> 00:03:37.360 I was getting intel. Also, he's nice and maybe 00:03:37.360 --> 00:03:41.419 dead. Also, when you guys decided to break into 00:03:41.419 --> 00:03:44.000 a place, you stayed extra time to steal a robot. 00:03:44.490 --> 00:03:46.509 You fucking look me in my two eyes and tell me 00:03:46.509 --> 00:03:48.389 you wouldn't have done the goddamn same. I wouldn't 00:03:48.389 --> 00:03:51.810 have done the same. Liar. It's a fucking robot. 00:03:52.069 --> 00:03:55.030 You hate technology. I don't hate technology. 00:03:55.169 --> 00:03:57.629 It's the cutting edge. It can pour a pint now. 00:03:58.710 --> 00:04:00.810 You reach the bottom of the cove with a little 00:04:00.810 --> 00:04:03.409 sploosh as the floor of the lift lands onto the 00:04:03.409 --> 00:04:06.090 top of the water. You can see a small raft next 00:04:06.090 --> 00:04:08.629 to the ship attached to a rope which is anchored 00:04:08.629 --> 00:04:10.629 to a rock next to you and to the belly of the 00:04:10.629 --> 00:04:13.639 ship. Using the rope to ferry yourselves across, 00:04:13.960 --> 00:04:16.259 you find yourselves eye to eye with the hull 00:04:16.259 --> 00:04:18.759 of this monstrous galleon. It is easily hundreds 00:04:18.759 --> 00:04:21.620 of years old. The hollow mouths of black cannons 00:04:21.620 --> 00:04:24.379 peek out from countless gun ports, barnacles 00:04:24.379 --> 00:04:26.459 peppering the ancient and ever -creaking wood 00:04:26.459 --> 00:04:28.980 of this vessel. You're able to get a hold of 00:04:28.980 --> 00:04:30.879 a rope ladder, which takes you all the way up 00:04:30.879 --> 00:04:33.399 to the poop deck, passing a sign which reads 00:04:33.399 --> 00:04:36.920 Dolarosa. When you set foot on the deck, it is 00:04:36.920 --> 00:04:39.519 impossible not to notice an absolute abundance 00:04:39.519 --> 00:04:43.459 of gold coins. Aztec coin. You're immediately 00:04:43.459 --> 00:04:46.040 startled by a noise emanating from within the 00:04:46.040 --> 00:04:48.500 captain's chambers. Hiding behind some barrels, 00:04:48.680 --> 00:04:51.660 you peek from cover to see three familiar faces 00:04:51.660 --> 00:04:54.319 behind the murky windows of the captain's chambers. 00:04:55.000 --> 00:04:59.100 Samuel Ryan, Spudbag, and Rubblesack. Spudbag 00:04:59.100 --> 00:05:01.579 stands to the back, wielding an electric torch. 00:05:01.959 --> 00:05:04.220 It is hard to know what they're saying, or what 00:05:04.220 --> 00:05:06.120 they're looking at. It's dark in there, even 00:05:06.120 --> 00:05:08.459 with the glow of Spudbag's flashlight. You can, 00:05:08.600 --> 00:05:11.550 however... see that the three men appear to have 00:05:11.550 --> 00:05:15.529 found something. We cut to the interior of the 00:05:15.529 --> 00:05:19.069 captain's chambers. Dust lingers in the air, 00:05:19.209 --> 00:05:21.649 illuminated by the light of Spudbag's torch. 00:05:22.250 --> 00:05:24.910 Dim shadows dance malevolently against the walls 00:05:24.910 --> 00:05:28.930 as a figure struggles to its feet. The very flesh 00:05:28.930 --> 00:05:31.810 of this skeletal husk of a man, peeling like 00:05:31.810 --> 00:05:34.829 the bark off a birch tree, as he begins to slowly 00:05:34.829 --> 00:05:37.430 rise from the fetal position in the corner of 00:05:37.430 --> 00:05:41.860 this ancient chamber. Sweet Jesus, Spudbag. What 00:05:41.860 --> 00:05:45.519 on God's good green earth is that? I'm not sure, 00:05:45.579 --> 00:05:48.100 Rubblesack, but it's all minging and gangly, 00:05:48.240 --> 00:05:51.600 like a Nosferatu. That, my sweet Spudbag, is 00:05:51.600 --> 00:05:54.339 indeed an apt description. This creature is most 00:05:54.339 --> 00:05:57.540 hideous. Perhaps, Rubblesack, rather than remain 00:05:57.540 --> 00:06:00.319 entranced by this grim visage, it should be on 00:06:00.319 --> 00:06:03.339 our best interests to leave. Two for two, sweet 00:06:03.339 --> 00:06:06.300 Spudbag. Though, may I suggest that we take the 00:06:06.300 --> 00:06:09.079 liberty of paying ourselves on the way out? There's 00:06:09.079 --> 00:06:11.600 certainly enough gold here to get you a new Casio 00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:14.759 keyboard and then some. Quite right, Rubblesack. 00:06:14.920 --> 00:06:17.920 And it's like our therapist says, you don't have 00:06:17.920 --> 00:06:22.579 to stay in bad situations. As those two lovable 00:06:22.579 --> 00:06:25.939 goons are gathering coins, Samuel Ryan slithers 00:06:25.939 --> 00:06:27.720 his way to the door of the captain's chambers, 00:06:27.939 --> 00:06:30.959 suddenly closing it and ramming a rusted sword 00:06:30.959 --> 00:06:33.959 through the handle, like in the films. Well, 00:06:34.160 --> 00:06:37.759 my sweet spot back. It would appear as though 00:06:37.759 --> 00:06:41.620 we have been betrayed. Oh, Rubble Sack, our terrible 00:06:41.620 --> 00:06:43.939 lust for gold and our poor judgment of characters 00:06:43.939 --> 00:06:48.509 have indeed led to our demise. The creature lurches 00:06:48.509 --> 00:06:51.110 towards them and holds out a crooked and gnarled 00:06:51.110 --> 00:06:54.670 hand wrapped around a stone disc. Spudbag and 00:06:54.670 --> 00:06:57.370 Rubblesack clasp each other and shut their eyes 00:06:57.370 --> 00:07:00.269 as years of their lives are stripped from their 00:07:00.269 --> 00:07:03.709 bodies like the sands of time, entering the stone 00:07:03.709 --> 00:07:06.629 and beginning to sew this creature back together. 00:07:08.329 --> 00:07:10.670 And with that, the seemingly mummified corpses 00:07:10.670 --> 00:07:13.189 of Spudbag and Rubblesack slump to the ground, 00:07:13.370 --> 00:07:16.009 still clutching each other and a rake of gold 00:07:16.009 --> 00:07:19.610 coins. We cut back to our agents, cowering behind 00:07:19.610 --> 00:07:22.550 some barrels. You see Samuel Ryan whimpering 00:07:22.550 --> 00:07:24.990 as the door to the captain's chamber begins to 00:07:24.990 --> 00:07:28.610 age. The rust on that sword grows rapidly, and 00:07:28.610 --> 00:07:30.850 even the very handle of the door begins to crumble 00:07:30.850 --> 00:07:34.089 into dust. In the frame of the door stands what 00:07:34.089 --> 00:07:37.569 you can only surmise was once a man. adorned 00:07:37.569 --> 00:07:41.290 in 16th century naval attire and clasping a stone 00:07:41.290 --> 00:07:44.870 disc with a familiar engraving upon it. Samuel 00:07:44.870 --> 00:07:50.189 Ryan drops to his knees. Please, mercy, he came 00:07:50.189 --> 00:07:54.009 to help. When you and your companions came upon 00:07:54.009 --> 00:07:57.930 me half a century ago, I had already been here 00:07:57.930 --> 00:08:02.279 for four hundred years, too weak to escape. And 00:08:02.279 --> 00:08:06.680 this body, unwilling to die. Can you imagine 00:08:06.680 --> 00:08:09.660 the torture? We didn't mean to. We didn't know. 00:08:09.920 --> 00:08:12.740 There was a storm, our boat capsized, and the 00:08:12.740 --> 00:08:14.899 four of us found our way inside the coffer shelter. 00:08:15.399 --> 00:08:18.819 I like this story. Two broke into my prison. 00:08:19.079 --> 00:08:23.560 One created by a crew of worthless mutineers. 00:08:23.860 --> 00:08:27.399 My own men trapped me here because they did not 00:08:27.399 --> 00:08:31.019 understand the power of this stone. Did not. 00:08:31.969 --> 00:08:35.809 Understand the hunger. One of our lifeboats was 00:08:35.809 --> 00:08:37.549 thrown against the rocks. It just revealed an 00:08:37.549 --> 00:08:39.889 opening. We had no choice. How could we know 00:08:39.889 --> 00:08:43.889 what was inside this cave? No choice? Ha! Thieves! 00:08:44.309 --> 00:08:47.730 All of you. I should have devoured you all when 00:08:47.730 --> 00:08:51.210 I had the chance. I came back, didn't I? I came 00:08:51.210 --> 00:08:53.629 to set you free. I had the mackerel killed for 00:08:53.629 --> 00:08:57.860 you. For me, after 50 years of keeping my power 00:08:57.860 --> 00:09:00.879 at bay by the light of those damn torches, another 00:09:00.879 --> 00:09:05.100 50 years of hunger, while you and your kin reap 00:09:05.100 --> 00:09:08.960 the benefit of being near the stone, long life. 00:09:09.500 --> 00:09:12.320 Look, I'm sorry. The others are dead now, though. 00:09:12.399 --> 00:09:15.419 It's just me, and I'm here to release you. You 00:09:15.419 --> 00:09:19.519 are a snake, Samuel Ryan. I might have been too 00:09:19.519 --> 00:09:22.580 weak to stop you, but do not think I didn't want 00:09:22.580 --> 00:09:24.980 to... Notice your frequent trips to my book deck. 00:09:25.139 --> 00:09:29.879 A coin here, a coin there, yes. Greed is what 00:09:29.879 --> 00:09:33.740 drives you. A hunger. And I thank your comrades 00:09:33.740 --> 00:09:38.000 for satiating mine. Yes, that's why I brought 00:09:38.000 --> 00:09:41.820 them. Don't you see? What I see is a fool. A 00:09:41.820 --> 00:09:45.419 fool who thinks himself able to barter with a 00:09:45.419 --> 00:09:48.740 god. A god? Come on now. You've got a wee magic 00:09:48.740 --> 00:09:50.519 stone stuck to your hand. It hardly makes you 00:09:50.519 --> 00:09:53.600 a god. I am more of a god than you. That's semantics. 00:09:53.659 --> 00:09:57.059 Look, I've come to release you. And I ask something 00:09:57.059 --> 00:10:00.419 in return, though. I'm dying. Ever since the 00:10:00.419 --> 00:10:03.200 mackerel kicked me out of the sea, senor, I've 00:10:03.200 --> 00:10:07.259 been aging. You know, like, really aging. If 00:10:07.259 --> 00:10:10.539 you were here to release me, why would you have 00:10:10.539 --> 00:10:13.620 relit the braziers? Don't you think that I can 00:10:13.620 --> 00:10:17.700 feel them? The fires might stop the power of 00:10:17.700 --> 00:10:22.500 the stone, but that does not help you. The braziers? 00:10:22.620 --> 00:10:26.059 But I didn't light them. Please, I need more 00:10:26.059 --> 00:10:30.240 time. My name is Inigo Valdez. You have stolen 00:10:30.240 --> 00:10:34.259 enough time from me, and yours, Snake, is up. 00:10:35.159 --> 00:10:38.340 Valdez raises his stony disc hand to the coward 00:10:38.340 --> 00:10:41.480 Snake Samuel Ryan and devours what little life 00:10:41.480 --> 00:10:44.320 the man had left in him. You can see the sands 00:10:44.320 --> 00:10:47.299 of time flowing through Valdez and visibly knitting 00:10:47.299 --> 00:10:49.820 parts of him back together. It looks a little 00:10:49.820 --> 00:10:51.840 bit like what happens to the Nazis at the end 00:10:51.840 --> 00:10:54.000 of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, but in 00:10:54.000 --> 00:10:57.500 reverse. Suddenly, slinking down from the mast, 00:10:57.659 --> 00:11:00.620 you see a familiar little ginger tabby cat doing 00:11:00.620 --> 00:11:03.360 that cocksure walk that cats do. It's that wee 00:11:03.360 --> 00:11:05.720 bugger from upstairs. And if cats could talk, 00:11:05.879 --> 00:11:07.919 this one would surely be mourning the death of 00:11:07.919 --> 00:11:10.519 sweet Spudbag. Maybe he had ham in his pockets. 00:11:10.720 --> 00:11:13.370 We'll never know. The cat does that wee arse 00:11:13.370 --> 00:11:14.889 wiggle that they do when they're threatening 00:11:14.889 --> 00:11:17.889 to jump, but it stops upon noticing you behind 00:11:17.889 --> 00:11:22.090 the barrels. I think we're fucked. Yeah. This 00:11:22.090 --> 00:11:25.269 is no worm. This is a lot more serious. It's 00:11:25.269 --> 00:11:26.649 a lot more serious than the worm. It's a lot 00:11:26.649 --> 00:11:30.129 more serious. That's kind of a sorcery stone 00:11:30.129 --> 00:11:32.789 dealio by the sounds of it. It's actual magic. 00:11:33.049 --> 00:11:35.889 This is terrifying. Yeah, this is... I've shit 00:11:35.889 --> 00:11:38.190 myself, actually. You can't tell because I'm 00:11:38.190 --> 00:11:41.470 covered in shit, but I have shit myself. Standing 00:11:41.470 --> 00:11:44.350 in the doorframe, you see this weird looking 00:11:44.350 --> 00:11:47.350 old admiral fella. That stone is fully fused 00:11:47.350 --> 00:11:50.690 into that man's hand and he is casting his eyes 00:11:50.690 --> 00:11:53.250 across the poop deck. You're all cowering behind 00:11:53.250 --> 00:11:56.970 some barrels about 20 feet away from him. I would 00:11:56.970 --> 00:11:59.789 like to cast around for some kind of pirate weapon. 00:12:00.129 --> 00:12:04.470 There are rusted swords, spears and a bunch of 00:12:04.470 --> 00:12:07.289 gold just strewn all over the deck of this ship. 00:12:07.370 --> 00:12:09.970 It is wrecked. But there's loads of stuff here. 00:12:10.049 --> 00:12:12.809 Okay, so it sounds like, and I don't mean to 00:12:12.809 --> 00:12:15.490 be glib, you have the most experience removing 00:12:15.490 --> 00:12:18.129 arms. I literally have the same idea. And speaking 00:12:18.129 --> 00:12:20.450 Spanish. And speaking Spanish. But I was thinking, 00:12:20.590 --> 00:12:24.169 I will, one of you needs to do a distraction. 00:12:24.350 --> 00:12:26.009 And I think because you're the adult and the 00:12:26.009 --> 00:12:27.730 most charismatic, you've seen it happen. I'll 00:12:27.730 --> 00:12:29.210 do it. I'll do the distraction. Do you think 00:12:29.210 --> 00:12:32.090 you could seduce him? Flirt with him. Flirt with 00:12:32.090 --> 00:12:34.350 him. I'm not a flirt. I don't know how you two 00:12:34.350 --> 00:12:37.110 got this impression. I am happily married. I 00:12:37.110 --> 00:12:39.200 just... It doesn't mean that you're not trying. 00:12:39.460 --> 00:12:42.519 I'm not trying. It does mean that. Okay, let's 00:12:42.519 --> 00:12:44.059 say you're not aware of the effect you have on 00:12:44.059 --> 00:12:49.460 people. But listen, you're a stud. I'm going 00:12:49.460 --> 00:12:53.200 to take the cat and I'm going to look into those 00:12:53.200 --> 00:12:56.220 torches with my loose change. And you know what? 00:12:56.759 --> 00:12:58.860 I'm going to compensate myself ahead of time 00:12:58.860 --> 00:13:01.139 because we get limited per diems. So I'm going 00:13:01.139 --> 00:13:03.179 to lift a few of these coins. No, do not lift 00:13:03.179 --> 00:13:05.240 the coins. Are you sure? Don't pick up cursed 00:13:05.240 --> 00:13:07.679 Aztec gold right now. This seems like the worst 00:13:07.679 --> 00:13:09.399 possible time. It might not all be cursed. We 00:13:09.399 --> 00:13:11.360 don't know that. It's definitely all cursed. 00:13:12.720 --> 00:13:15.299 Fine. I'm going to try and get him to look away 00:13:15.299 --> 00:13:18.299 from the barrels. Maddy, you're going to go for 00:13:18.299 --> 00:13:20.659 the braziers and you're going to try and get 00:13:20.659 --> 00:13:23.139 a... I'm going to go for the arm. I've got a 00:13:23.139 --> 00:13:27.120 sword right here. All right, Dolan, whenever 00:13:27.120 --> 00:13:30.600 you're ready. All right, so if Dolan tries to 00:13:30.600 --> 00:13:33.440 gather himself and then sort of comes up from 00:13:33.440 --> 00:13:35.460 the barrels, like arms in the air, sort of... 00:13:35.460 --> 00:13:40.639 Mr. Valdez, Admiral Valdez, sorry, what should 00:13:40.639 --> 00:13:43.480 I address you as? Captain Inigo Valdez. Captain, 00:13:43.480 --> 00:13:46.919 I'm very sorry. I see the snake has brought a 00:13:46.919 --> 00:13:50.139 comrade with him, slinking behind my barrels, 00:13:50.279 --> 00:13:52.480 are you? I'm not with these gentlemen. I can 00:13:52.480 --> 00:13:55.269 promise you that. I just... I'm trapped down 00:13:55.269 --> 00:13:57.929 here, and I'm just like you. I'm trying to get 00:13:57.929 --> 00:14:00.009 out of here. I have no intention of staying. 00:14:00.029 --> 00:14:02.450 You are just like me. You have been trapped here 00:14:02.450 --> 00:14:07.009 for 450 years. I may very well have. There's 00:14:07.009 --> 00:14:08.809 a time... I don't know how the time works here 00:14:08.809 --> 00:14:11.250 anymore. I think if you were on my ship for 450 00:14:11.250 --> 00:14:13.029 years, I would have noticed you. I've been upstairs. 00:14:13.029 --> 00:14:15.309 It's the same. Every time we try to leave, I 00:14:15.309 --> 00:14:18.409 can't... You are a friend of the three that kept 00:14:18.409 --> 00:14:21.409 me here. I've just come to investigate what was 00:14:21.409 --> 00:14:25.330 happening. I can promise to you I... I don't 00:14:25.330 --> 00:14:31.009 wish to live forever or steal the gold. I just 00:14:31.009 --> 00:14:34.750 want to go home. A likely story. I see your covetous 00:14:34.750 --> 00:14:39.190 eyes, admiring the gold on my poop deck. Valdez 00:14:39.190 --> 00:14:43.250 slowly raises his hand, like a conductor telling 00:14:43.250 --> 00:14:46.269 the violins to pull their weight and play louder. 00:14:46.470 --> 00:14:49.950 And with that, the coins that lie strewn across 00:14:49.950 --> 00:14:53.610 the deck begin to rise from the ground. floating 00:14:53.610 --> 00:14:56.789 towards Valdez before coalescing into little 00:14:56.789 --> 00:14:59.929 spheres about the size of a slitter or a baseball 00:14:59.929 --> 00:15:02.690 for any Americans in the room. With a point, 00:15:02.830 --> 00:15:05.230 he sends one of those wee things rocketing across 00:15:05.230 --> 00:15:08.330 the deck towards Dolan. Dolan, I'm going to need 00:15:08.330 --> 00:15:11.649 a preservation roll from you. That'll be an 80 00:15:11.649 --> 00:15:17.129 % chance. Just roll 80 or under. 23 under 80. 00:15:18.320 --> 00:15:22.039 This little golden rocket flies over your shoulder 00:15:22.039 --> 00:15:25.139 and strikes the edge of the boat, bursting into 00:15:25.139 --> 00:15:28.379 a big glittery shower. You came for treasure. 00:15:28.620 --> 00:15:34.279 Allow me to deliver it to your face. Can I try 00:15:34.279 --> 00:15:37.840 sprinting as I'm dodging to the other side of 00:15:37.840 --> 00:15:39.940 the ship? No, you absolutely can try to make 00:15:39.940 --> 00:15:41.779 a bolt. Are you going to run in his direction? 00:15:42.139 --> 00:15:45.639 So trying to keep a distance, like sort of... 00:15:45.840 --> 00:15:47.419 Like, I'm going around the circumference, so 00:15:47.419 --> 00:15:49.139 I'm only facing the other side of the ship and 00:15:49.139 --> 00:15:51.559 getting him to face towards, I guess, the cave 00:15:51.559 --> 00:15:54.539 -in. Dolan tries to kite around the outside of 00:15:54.539 --> 00:15:56.679 Valdez. I'd say you'll be able to reach there, 00:15:56.720 --> 00:15:59.529 no problem. Have you got a plan? Yeah, I'm just... 00:15:59.529 --> 00:16:01.070 I think I'm just like, you're being foolish. 00:16:01.370 --> 00:16:04.509 I am being foolish? Yes. Yes, you are. The world 00:16:04.509 --> 00:16:06.669 is so different. We have cannons now that can 00:16:06.669 --> 00:16:09.450 shoot from one country to another. I do not need 00:16:09.450 --> 00:16:12.710 cannons any longer. I require nothing but the 00:16:12.710 --> 00:16:15.889 power of this stone. Keep the chains, you filthy 00:16:15.889 --> 00:16:18.809 animal. And he flings another ball of gold. Oh, 00:16:18.809 --> 00:16:21.409 God. Another preservation. Another preservation 00:16:21.409 --> 00:16:28.809 roll, please. 46 under... Once again, you're 00:16:28.809 --> 00:16:31.809 lucky this one flies even further, smashes onto 00:16:31.809 --> 00:16:35.009 the deck. Maddie's going to make a bolt for the 00:16:35.009 --> 00:16:41.289 lift or if there is another way up. Maddie, you 00:16:41.289 --> 00:16:44.470 step up and start running back towards that little 00:16:44.470 --> 00:16:46.470 rope ladder you climbed up to get down. There's 00:16:46.470 --> 00:16:49.129 some parkour involved. There's some parkour involved 00:16:49.129 --> 00:16:53.029 in 1993. Just as the sport is being developed. 00:16:54.110 --> 00:16:58.169 More companions of yours, I see. Spotted immediately? 00:16:58.610 --> 00:17:01.129 Oh, he definitely spots immediately, but you're 00:17:01.129 --> 00:17:03.769 able to get right over there. You start running. 00:17:04.049 --> 00:17:07.069 But, stretching his arm out towards you, the 00:17:07.069 --> 00:17:10.069 stone fused to his hand, he rotates the on stone 00:17:10.069 --> 00:17:12.009 like he's turning down the volume with a big 00:17:12.009 --> 00:17:15.130 knob on a hi -fi. With that, you begin to feel 00:17:15.130 --> 00:17:18.430 as if you're wading through molasses, slow as 00:17:18.430 --> 00:17:20.490 anything. But will you have enough force of will 00:17:20.490 --> 00:17:23.569 to push through it? Let's find out. That'll be 00:17:23.569 --> 00:17:26.269 a preservation rule. This one's trickier. Agility 00:17:26.269 --> 00:17:31.150 be damned. This'll be a 40. That's a nine. Maddy, 00:17:31.150 --> 00:17:33.990 you feel this weight pushing down through your 00:17:33.990 --> 00:17:36.250 legs, almost like there's lead in your shoes, 00:17:36.430 --> 00:17:39.349 but you just fight right through it, and you 00:17:39.349 --> 00:17:41.230 make your way, and you're able to swing down 00:17:41.230 --> 00:17:43.569 and grab onto the ladder. So let's say you've 00:17:43.569 --> 00:17:45.630 gone off the edge of the boat, and you're holding 00:17:45.630 --> 00:17:48.369 onto this rope ladder, ready to climb down. So 00:17:48.369 --> 00:17:50.880 what's your plan once you get up there? You're 00:17:50.880 --> 00:17:53.339 just going to drain everyone in sight, rule over 00:17:53.339 --> 00:17:56.500 a golden graveyard? That sounds about right to 00:17:56.500 --> 00:17:59.680 me. And it is all that this place deserves after 00:17:59.680 --> 00:18:03.019 what they have done to me. You're just swapping 00:18:03.019 --> 00:18:07.359 one prison for another. A prison of my own control. 00:18:07.839 --> 00:18:11.339 That's insane! What do you actually want, you 00:18:11.339 --> 00:18:16.519 madman? I want to devour every last second that 00:18:16.519 --> 00:18:19.940 humanity has to give. And he once again twists 00:18:19.940 --> 00:18:23.700 his arm. Let's see if Dolan can resist that weird 00:18:23.700 --> 00:18:26.140 time manipulation thing he does. Am I rolling 00:18:26.140 --> 00:18:31.500 against anything? You're rolling a 60 % preservation 00:18:31.500 --> 00:18:37.240 roll. 37 under 60. Dolan just simply shakes his 00:18:37.240 --> 00:18:39.819 head at the captain. It has been a long time 00:18:39.819 --> 00:18:42.099 since I have used these abilities, okay? You 00:18:42.099 --> 00:18:44.619 can't stop... Me? How do you plan on stopping 00:18:44.619 --> 00:18:47.680 an actual armed force? Once I devour you and 00:18:47.680 --> 00:18:49.819 your little friend who tried to run away, I will 00:18:49.819 --> 00:18:53.259 have more power, Jace. And then I will be able 00:18:53.259 --> 00:18:55.579 to finally escape this cave when the abrasers 00:18:55.579 --> 00:18:57.839 go out. Do you even know, like, what a satellite 00:18:57.839 --> 00:19:01.680 is? A what? It is a weapon that could destroy 00:19:01.680 --> 00:19:04.420 you in an instance. And you have control of these 00:19:04.420 --> 00:19:06.680 weapons? Of course I don't, but actual armed 00:19:06.680 --> 00:19:13.160 people do. So you do! Matty screams. The only 00:19:13.160 --> 00:19:14.799 thing that's keeping you alive is the fact that 00:19:14.799 --> 00:19:17.680 no one knows about you. No one knows of me yet. 00:19:18.180 --> 00:19:22.019 Soon, I will escape. And all will know the name 00:19:22.019 --> 00:19:26.259 and fear Indigo Valdez and the Doloroso. Gideon 00:19:26.259 --> 00:19:28.500 Hubble is slowly creeping across the deck towards 00:19:28.500 --> 00:19:31.400 Matthew Murphy, who's just poking their head 00:19:31.400 --> 00:19:33.859 up. What are you two doing? What are you doing? 00:19:34.039 --> 00:19:36.240 I'm going to go light these flames. Yeah, I'm 00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:38.400 going to... Are you coming? No, I'm going to 00:19:38.400 --> 00:19:42.440 cut off his arm. It's all I'm good for. Okay, 00:19:42.559 --> 00:19:46.640 but I mean, be careful. I'll try. Gideon, you're 00:19:46.640 --> 00:19:50.039 standing on the deck. The coins across the deck 00:19:50.039 --> 00:19:53.859 begin to rattle and move. But this time, they 00:19:53.859 --> 00:19:56.400 start rushing across the poop deck towards the 00:19:56.400 --> 00:19:59.359 captain's chamber, through the door, and straight 00:19:59.359 --> 00:20:02.299 down the gullets of the husk -like bodies of 00:20:02.299 --> 00:20:04.940 Samuel Ryan and poor Spudbag and Rubble Sack. 00:20:05.500 --> 00:20:07.900 Hundreds of these things fill their bodies until 00:20:07.900 --> 00:20:10.619 they're fit to burst. The bodies now turgid with 00:20:10.619 --> 00:20:13.380 riches clamber to their feet and shamble their 00:20:13.380 --> 00:20:15.859 way out the door onto the deck, jangling like 00:20:15.859 --> 00:20:19.079 a trio of coin purses. And Jesus Christ sure 00:20:19.079 --> 00:20:21.119 hasn't Valdez himself started levitating now, 00:20:21.259 --> 00:20:23.359 rising up from the deck about seven feet in the 00:20:23.359 --> 00:20:26.279 air, held aloft by the power of the stone. Enough 00:20:26.279 --> 00:20:30.500 of this. Drop your weapons and perhaps I will 00:20:30.500 --> 00:20:33.839 allow you to join my crew. There's gold zombies. 00:20:34.019 --> 00:20:36.559 There's gold zombies on the deck. That's really 00:20:36.559 --> 00:20:39.079 gross. I'm really grossed out by that. Gideon, 00:20:39.119 --> 00:20:41.319 what are you going to do? I'm going to... Fuck, 00:20:41.420 --> 00:20:43.559 my whole plan was to cut off his arm, but now 00:20:43.559 --> 00:20:45.700 his arm's up in the air. I'm going to get up 00:20:45.700 --> 00:20:49.480 the fucking rigging. Yeah. Yeah. That will be 00:20:49.480 --> 00:20:55.839 an agility roll to see how far up you get. Oh, 00:20:56.000 --> 00:21:01.599 12. Under 20. has a remarkable vertical leap 00:21:01.599 --> 00:21:05.500 and he hypes and grabs onto the rope. Now, you're 00:21:05.500 --> 00:21:08.220 a bit off the ground, but you're making it up 00:21:08.220 --> 00:21:10.180 there. You're about level with him. He's still 00:21:10.180 --> 00:21:12.880 maybe 10 feet away from you, but you're at eye 00:21:12.880 --> 00:21:16.039 level. Maddie, seeing these two shambling three, 00:21:16.180 --> 00:21:19.400 shambling gold zombies, and your friend and his 00:21:19.400 --> 00:21:22.200 impressive vertical leap, what do you do? Okay, 00:21:22.240 --> 00:21:26.339 I'm ditching the bid for the lift and I'm going 00:21:26.339 --> 00:21:29.849 to see if I can... How embedded are the cannons 00:21:29.849 --> 00:21:32.549 in the side of the ship? Are they on the same 00:21:32.549 --> 00:21:34.230 floor? Are they on the same deck? The cannons 00:21:34.230 --> 00:21:36.109 will be on the deck below poking through holes. 00:21:36.269 --> 00:21:39.390 On this deck, you would mainly see hand -to -hand 00:21:39.390 --> 00:21:41.630 weaponry and some things like spears that you 00:21:41.630 --> 00:21:44.029 could chuck. Give me a little awareness roll. 00:21:46.130 --> 00:21:50.630 Three. You spot by the edge of the boat these 00:21:50.630 --> 00:21:53.630 little metal spheres with what looks like a small 00:21:53.630 --> 00:21:56.609 fuse coming out the top. Oh, boy. I'm on the 00:21:56.609 --> 00:22:00.240 side of the ship. I've spotted these. Swinging 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:03.079 back up. Ditching that plan. Do I have a lighter 00:22:03.079 --> 00:22:06.420 on me? Yes. I say that's fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:22:06.819 --> 00:22:10.279 I'm putting this together in my head. I start 00:22:10.279 --> 00:22:12.880 lighting shit and throwing it at these guys. 00:22:13.000 --> 00:22:16.180 These gold zombies. Excellent. All right. As 00:22:16.180 --> 00:22:19.259 many as I can, like, light and throw simultaneously. 00:22:19.920 --> 00:22:23.359 I'd say it'll probably be one a go, but we'll 00:22:23.359 --> 00:22:25.420 be circling back to you. All right. But you... 00:22:26.230 --> 00:22:28.789 liked this fuse, you think you've maybe got about 00:22:28.789 --> 00:22:31.089 three seconds to throw that thing. That'll be 00:22:31.089 --> 00:22:37.130 an agility roll, please. 42 under 60. You yoink 00:22:37.130 --> 00:22:39.769 this thing. Oh, fuck, my agility's 40. Oh, no! 00:22:42.269 --> 00:22:45.950 Oh, no! You damn toy! It sails through the air 00:22:45.950 --> 00:22:50.140 and mid -arc just goes... It looks like it's 00:22:50.140 --> 00:22:52.920 coming straight for Samuel Ryan's big bulbous 00:22:52.920 --> 00:22:55.380 golden head, but it sails right past him and 00:22:55.380 --> 00:22:57.759 clatters against the side of the captain's quarters 00:22:57.759 --> 00:23:01.420 before erupting in a massive explosion. You hear 00:23:01.420 --> 00:23:05.690 the crunch and creak of old rotten wood. And 00:23:05.690 --> 00:23:08.130 the ship kind of lurches a little bit to one 00:23:08.130 --> 00:23:11.349 side. Fill your pockets with my gold, eh? Why 00:23:11.349 --> 00:23:14.309 not fill your entire body? He lobs a bunch of 00:23:14.309 --> 00:23:16.670 gold at you. That's going to be a little preservation 00:23:16.670 --> 00:23:20.869 rule. 80 % to dodge some flying gold. Five. He's 00:23:20.869 --> 00:23:23.930 had nothing moving to throw at for ages. The 00:23:23.930 --> 00:23:27.029 gold flies past you and scatters across the deck. 00:23:27.849 --> 00:23:30.329 Dolan, what are you doing? For goodness sake, 00:23:30.349 --> 00:23:33.279 you madman, we are trying to cooperate. Your 00:23:33.279 --> 00:23:36.799 companion is throwing bombs on my ship. You spooked 00:23:36.799 --> 00:23:38.740 him. Obviously they're going to do that. You're 00:23:38.740 --> 00:23:42.039 floating. You're raising the dead. Just give 00:23:42.039 --> 00:23:45.079 us a moment to be calm and collected. Why would 00:23:45.079 --> 00:23:47.039 we even want to steal the gold? It's worth jack 00:23:47.039 --> 00:23:49.400 shit. So you aren't interested in any of the 00:23:49.400 --> 00:23:51.960 gold on my ship? I'm more interested in the rusty 00:23:51.960 --> 00:23:54.319 swords than I am the gold. That's how little 00:23:54.319 --> 00:23:57.210 it's worth. The man -shaped beanbags shuffle 00:23:57.210 --> 00:23:59.970 their way towards Dolan as this argument continues. 00:24:00.289 --> 00:24:02.049 And one of them's going to take a big swing at 00:24:02.049 --> 00:24:08.130 you, Dolan. Give me a preservation roll. Oh, 00:24:08.210 --> 00:24:14.309 five. Suck it some. Without breaking the flow 00:24:14.309 --> 00:24:17.670 of your big invective, you duck under a big swing. 00:24:17.829 --> 00:24:20.170 Can I try and trip it up as it's going past me? 00:24:20.250 --> 00:24:24.309 That'll be a might roll. Yes, you can. 17 under 00:24:24.309 --> 00:24:27.890 40. Goddamn. You sweep your leg and you hit this 00:24:27.890 --> 00:24:31.170 guy right in the ankles. He flies backwards and 00:24:31.170 --> 00:24:34.569 his head smashes against the deck, bursting, 00:24:34.769 --> 00:24:39.410 sending a big stream of gold scattering out from 00:24:39.410 --> 00:24:41.650 his big old head wound. Look, I'm not asking 00:24:41.650 --> 00:24:43.630 us to be allies. Once we get out of here, we 00:24:43.630 --> 00:24:45.930 can split. But right now, this is in no one's 00:24:45.930 --> 00:24:49.400 interest. Clearly. They have sent a true warrior 00:24:49.400 --> 00:24:53.660 to pry and best. Inigo Valdez. I am not a warrior. 00:24:53.740 --> 00:24:56.279 I've got maybe five good years in these knees. 00:24:56.480 --> 00:25:00.140 I'm trying to warn you. Five good years? Sound 00:25:00.140 --> 00:25:03.759 delicious to me. Gideon, your eyes are darting 00:25:03.759 --> 00:25:06.039 back and forth from midair down to the deck, 00:25:06.140 --> 00:25:08.559 watching this whole argument unfold. You saw 00:25:08.559 --> 00:25:10.819 your mate kick a zombie and make his head burst. 00:25:10.960 --> 00:25:13.039 What are you going to do? I'd say you can make 00:25:13.039 --> 00:25:14.539 it up to that crossbeam, no problem. I'm going 00:25:14.539 --> 00:25:18.779 to keep plodding. Hand over hand, Gideon reaches. 00:25:19.339 --> 00:25:22.420 Thank you. Reaches the crossbeam. I'm going to 00:25:22.420 --> 00:25:27.519 start very gingerly and very carefully moving 00:25:27.519 --> 00:25:34.220 my body along the beam towards Valdez. You wrap 00:25:34.220 --> 00:25:36.859 yourself around this beam, hugging it, and start 00:25:36.859 --> 00:25:39.640 shuffling your way along the beam to try and 00:25:39.640 --> 00:25:42.259 get yourself directly above Valdez. I'm going 00:25:42.259 --> 00:25:45.220 for the drop on him. Matty, what are you doing? 00:25:45.920 --> 00:25:47.660 You're still holding a grenade and you've got 00:25:47.660 --> 00:25:50.799 a sack full of them. I light another. I punt 00:25:50.799 --> 00:25:53.359 it at him. And you punt it, you punt it at him. 00:25:53.519 --> 00:25:56.359 You drop it and kick it like you're playing Gaelic. 00:25:56.420 --> 00:26:00.759 That will also be an agility roll. 38 under 40. 00:26:01.640 --> 00:26:06.019 You drop this thing and give it a full -on World 00:26:06.019 --> 00:26:08.339 Cup -style boot. The sort of one you'd see in 00:26:08.339 --> 00:26:10.819 a highlight reel on Match of the Day. And it 00:26:10.819 --> 00:26:14.539 sails between the two of them. and explodes, 00:26:14.799 --> 00:26:17.880 sending them flying in opposite directions. They 00:26:17.880 --> 00:26:22.359 hit opposite sides of the deck and explode into 00:26:22.359 --> 00:26:25.160 a big shower of gold. They're both dispatched. 00:26:25.319 --> 00:26:30.940 I got a split, yes! With his puppeted crew members 00:26:30.940 --> 00:26:34.619 dispatched, Valdez drops back to the deck and 00:26:34.619 --> 00:26:38.299 glares at our agents. He stretches his arm. towards 00:26:38.299 --> 00:26:41.079 Dolan as some sort of magic begins to crackle 00:26:41.079 --> 00:26:43.940 across the face of the stone. Suddenly, a blast 00:26:43.940 --> 00:26:46.619 of energy shoots out from his arm towards you. 00:26:46.680 --> 00:26:52.660 I need a preservation roll, Dolan. 40%. 88 over 00:26:52.660 --> 00:26:57.599 40. As the blast strikes your leg, the fabric 00:26:57.599 --> 00:27:00.400 of the bottom half of your trousers rots clean 00:27:00.400 --> 00:27:03.920 off. Your wee bare leg now revealed, you see 00:27:03.920 --> 00:27:07.650 that your skin has begun to wither and sag. You've 00:27:07.650 --> 00:27:14.609 got the calf of an owl man. Divine. He seems 00:27:14.609 --> 00:27:16.750 to have literally sucked the age out of your 00:27:16.750 --> 00:27:19.910 leg. How does it feel to be ravaged by time? 00:27:20.190 --> 00:27:23.910 Shit, you got rid of my leg. Quite clearly the 00:27:23.910 --> 00:27:27.089 powers of the world are scared of you now. You 00:27:27.089 --> 00:27:33.250 and your middle income bracket ass is gonna destroy 00:27:33.250 --> 00:27:37.500 the major world powers one by one. What is an 00:27:37.500 --> 00:27:40.720 income bracket? I'm saying you're not very wealthy. 00:27:40.960 --> 00:27:43.240 You are saying that I, Captain Indigo Valdez, 00:27:43.319 --> 00:27:45.480 surrounded by all of this gold on my... We have 00:27:45.480 --> 00:27:48.720 a similar net worth right now. I... I hate you. 00:27:53.559 --> 00:27:56.880 What's your problem, man? What's your problem? 00:27:57.599 --> 00:27:59.180 Are you sure you weren't admiral? Are you sure 00:27:59.180 --> 00:28:01.660 you weren't just... I was not an admiral. I have 00:28:01.660 --> 00:28:04.200 told you this. I was a captain. Oh, right. Well, 00:28:04.319 --> 00:28:05.740 are you sure you weren't coming out just swooping 00:28:05.740 --> 00:28:07.779 the fucking poop deck till everyone else died? 00:28:08.240 --> 00:28:12.440 Shut up! Valdez, quite frustrated at Dolan's 00:28:12.440 --> 00:28:15.559 pretty logical arguments, flings a bunch of coins 00:28:15.559 --> 00:28:16.940 at him. I'm going to need another preservation 00:28:16.940 --> 00:28:19.240 rule. This will be an 80%. Really? Even with 00:28:19.240 --> 00:28:27.619 the leg? Yeah. Oh, yeah. 60%. Oh! If I hadn't 00:28:27.619 --> 00:28:32.420 said anything. 73 over 60. These coins... are 00:28:32.420 --> 00:28:35.200 properly like condensed into a wee ball and it 00:28:35.200 --> 00:28:38.220 cracks you right in the chest. You hear a little 00:28:38.220 --> 00:28:42.039 of a few ribs breaking. God, Jesus, you broke 00:28:42.039 --> 00:28:45.819 my ribs with pocket change. I hate you. I hate 00:28:45.819 --> 00:28:51.779 you. I hate you. Enemies to lovers. Gideon, what 00:28:51.779 --> 00:28:55.279 are you doing up there on that mast? Can I get 00:28:55.279 --> 00:29:00.190 Maddie's attention? Aye. Bomb the mast. Bomb 00:29:00.190 --> 00:29:04.430 the mast. I'm too high. Are you sure? Yes. What 00:29:04.430 --> 00:29:07.589 if you die? I can't be responsible for another. 00:29:08.650 --> 00:29:11.049 The last one wasn't your fault. It was my fault. 00:29:11.089 --> 00:29:13.349 This is what redemption looks like. I meant my 00:29:13.349 --> 00:29:16.509 ex, but okay. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, 00:29:16.569 --> 00:29:17.890 you totally killed him. You'll have to answer 00:29:17.890 --> 00:29:21.289 for that in your own time. I light another grenade 00:29:21.289 --> 00:29:27.019 and I throw it towards the mast. Good luck. That's 00:29:27.019 --> 00:29:30.220 got to be another agility rule as you try to 00:29:30.220 --> 00:29:35.359 basketball through this one. I'm 59 over 30. 00:29:36.529 --> 00:29:39.609 Oh, you throw it and you hit the mast directly 00:29:39.609 --> 00:29:42.089 and it just bounces off and lands on the deck 00:29:42.089 --> 00:29:46.630 and explodes, opening a big old hole and you 00:29:46.630 --> 00:29:49.670 start to see water like on the decks below. This 00:29:49.670 --> 00:29:52.569 thing is already starting to lurch and creak 00:29:52.569 --> 00:29:56.190 to one side. Sorry. What the fuck? You tried 00:29:56.190 --> 00:29:58.869 your best. As the explosion goes off and the 00:29:58.869 --> 00:30:02.349 boat slowly tilts, I'm going to need a little 00:30:02.349 --> 00:30:04.910 preservation roll from you to keep your grip 00:30:04.910 --> 00:30:09.809 up there. And that's probably a 40%. That's 99 00:30:09.809 --> 00:30:14.809 over 40, baby. Gideon, you cannot hold on and 00:30:14.809 --> 00:30:20.890 you fall 20 feet and smack on the ear back. Oh. 00:30:21.450 --> 00:30:25.349 My spine. That really, really hurt. My spine. 00:30:25.509 --> 00:30:27.589 Am I in a position to be able to run over to 00:30:27.589 --> 00:30:30.690 Gideon? Yes. Okay. I run over to Gideon and say, 00:30:30.809 --> 00:30:33.269 give me medical advice that I can do to you. 00:30:33.609 --> 00:30:36.980 I've dislocated my shoulder. You just need to 00:30:36.980 --> 00:30:41.079 push very hard and swiftly. Can I... Could I... 00:30:41.079 --> 00:30:43.660 Could I... Spit it out! Could I bite on something? 00:30:43.839 --> 00:30:45.920 I don't want to scream. I put the jotter in your 00:30:45.920 --> 00:30:52.720 mouth. I'll still pop it. Pop it. I do my best. 00:30:52.720 --> 00:30:55.079 I try to push it back in. That will be a medicine 00:30:55.079 --> 00:31:02.279 roll. 25 over 20. You wiggle this loose flapping 00:31:02.279 --> 00:31:04.299 arm around and you can't quite find the pup. 00:31:04.599 --> 00:31:07.400 With that, Valdez, seeing you two helping one 00:31:07.400 --> 00:31:10.180 another, spins his arm around. Destroyer of my 00:31:10.180 --> 00:31:13.559 ship, I will have years of your life. It was 00:31:13.559 --> 00:31:17.640 literally an accident. Twice. Both times. I'm 00:31:17.640 --> 00:31:21.140 going to need a preservation roll from you. 71. 00:31:21.420 --> 00:31:26.569 That's a 71 over 40. A blast flies out from the 00:31:26.569 --> 00:31:29.809 stone and strikes you right in the head, leaving 00:31:29.809 --> 00:31:32.170 quite a fetching white streak in your hair now. 00:31:32.210 --> 00:31:35.369 It's a wee bit older. So Gideon, what are you 00:31:35.369 --> 00:31:38.009 going to do with one dislocated arm? I'm going 00:31:38.009 --> 00:31:44.289 to roll over and stumble to my feet and pick 00:31:44.289 --> 00:31:46.509 up the sword. I'm sick of this shit. I'm sick 00:31:46.509 --> 00:31:49.630 of you. You've made my friend's leg weird. You've 00:31:49.630 --> 00:31:52.089 made my other friend's hair awfully fetching. 00:31:53.480 --> 00:31:55.839 I'm not even mighty, but I'm going to go for 00:31:55.839 --> 00:31:57.940 might. And as I'm doing it, I'm thinking back 00:31:57.940 --> 00:32:00.240 to the worm and thinking back to Clary. And I'm 00:32:00.240 --> 00:32:02.220 like, this is redemption. That is a might roll. 00:32:02.519 --> 00:32:10.700 Oh, God. Oh, 23 over 20. You raise the sword 00:32:10.700 --> 00:32:14.119 above your head and bring it flying down towards 00:32:14.119 --> 00:32:16.819 him. And at the last minute, he bats your arm. 00:32:16.980 --> 00:32:21.099 No, thank you. The Doloroso has taken some beating 00:32:21.099 --> 00:32:23.599 from the fallout of Valdez's barrage of attacks 00:32:23.599 --> 00:32:26.380 and Maddy's grenades, and you can feel it shifting 00:32:26.380 --> 00:32:29.000 in the water due to all that damage dealt to 00:32:29.000 --> 00:32:31.380 the rotten wood of this once -magnificent ship. 00:32:31.819 --> 00:32:34.799 Valdez again begins to rise from the deck, seemingly 00:32:34.799 --> 00:32:37.279 empowered by that last bit of energy that he 00:32:37.279 --> 00:32:40.500 sucked out of Dolan's leg. The stone, fused to 00:32:40.500 --> 00:32:43.920 Valdez's hand, crackles and glues as an ominous 00:32:43.920 --> 00:32:47.500 deep hum fills the cavernous space. The coins 00:32:47.500 --> 00:32:49.940 and weaponry across the deck begin to rattle 00:32:49.940 --> 00:32:53.000 and shift towards him. The pool of ancient magic 00:32:53.000 --> 00:32:56.119 strain in the hull of the ship. You hear it splinter 00:32:56.119 --> 00:32:59.119 and crack under the pressure. This ship has been 00:32:59.119 --> 00:33:03.460 my prison, but no more. It shall become your 00:33:03.460 --> 00:33:07.250 tomb. You, too, all begin to feel yourselves 00:33:07.250 --> 00:33:10.569 lifted from the deck, helpless under the power 00:33:10.569 --> 00:33:15.789 of this stone. Valdez laughs maniacally as he 00:33:15.789 --> 00:33:19.210 seemingly leeches time from the very fibers of 00:33:19.210 --> 00:33:21.809 all that surround him. You begin to feel his 00:33:21.809 --> 00:33:25.670 force creep towards you as a wave of terror washes 00:33:25.670 --> 00:33:29.269 over you all. Suddenly, from atop the captain's 00:33:29.269 --> 00:33:33.079 chamber, you hear a familiar voice. I'll save 00:33:33.079 --> 00:33:41.339 you, Maddy Murphy! He's back! Sebastian Prick, 00:33:41.440 --> 00:33:44.980 absolutely clattered in shite, runs full pelt 00:33:44.980 --> 00:33:47.339 and leaps from the roof of the captain's chamber, 00:33:47.539 --> 00:33:50.480 spearing Valdez right out of the air like one 00:33:50.480 --> 00:33:53.359 of them wrestlers off the TV. As they crash onto 00:33:53.359 --> 00:33:55.799 the deck together, Valdez breaks Prick's fall. 00:33:56.809 --> 00:33:59.049 Prick shifts, clambering forward, putting all 00:33:59.049 --> 00:34:01.809 of his weight onto Valdez's chest. And pinning 00:34:01.809 --> 00:34:04.210 Valdez's upper arm with his knee, he grabs his 00:34:04.210 --> 00:34:06.970 wrist just below the hand fused to that magical 00:34:06.970 --> 00:34:10.150 stone. And he pulls with all his might, bellowing 00:34:10.150 --> 00:34:14.730 Matty's name. Matty Murphy! You hear the splintering 00:34:14.730 --> 00:34:18.750 of bone as he snaps Valdez's arm and tears through 00:34:18.750 --> 00:34:21.349 the flesh. And rips your man's arm clean off 00:34:21.349 --> 00:34:24.309 him. Detached from the stone, Valdez lets out 00:34:24.309 --> 00:34:30.710 an unimaginable howl. as hundreds of years take 00:34:30.710 --> 00:34:34.489 their toll on him all at once. He rides and screams 00:34:34.489 --> 00:34:38.550 as his face becomes gaunt and sallow, his skin 00:34:38.550 --> 00:34:41.690 desiccating before your very eyes until there's 00:34:41.690 --> 00:34:47.909 nothing left but dust and bone. Couldn't have 00:34:47.909 --> 00:34:52.829 happened to a nicer man. I need help. Still clutching 00:34:52.829 --> 00:34:55.289 the now shriveled hand fused to that mystical 00:34:55.289 --> 00:34:58.070 stone and still absolutely clattered in shite. 00:34:58.570 --> 00:35:01.389 Prick rises to his feet and turns to look at 00:35:01.389 --> 00:35:05.050 you all. Well, well, well. I fucking told you 00:35:05.050 --> 00:35:07.650 there was gold here, didn't I? Did you not draw 00:35:07.650 --> 00:35:10.469 it? I felt terrible. I've mourned you a lot in 00:35:10.469 --> 00:35:13.170 the last little while. I got washed out into 00:35:13.170 --> 00:35:16.809 the sea. Through that river of shit. Turns out 00:35:16.809 --> 00:35:19.409 that tunnel goes straight out to the ocean. Can 00:35:19.409 --> 00:35:22.250 you guys see him? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm 00:35:22.250 --> 00:35:24.889 fully here. Can you guys see me with my leg and 00:35:24.889 --> 00:35:28.230 my chest? Holy shit! Yeah, you look pretty beaten 00:35:28.230 --> 00:35:31.389 up. I look pretty bad. Suddenly, the stone begins 00:35:31.389 --> 00:35:34.710 to spark and crackle. Instinctually, to protect 00:35:34.710 --> 00:35:37.130 Maddy and their friends, Brick leaps away from 00:35:37.130 --> 00:35:39.010 the agents, clutching the hand to his chest. 00:35:39.269 --> 00:35:41.449 Mere seconds before a burst of energy explodes 00:35:41.449 --> 00:35:46.079 from the stone, shattering it to pieces. After 00:35:46.079 --> 00:35:48.960 a moment, Sebastian Prick rises to his feet and 00:35:48.960 --> 00:35:53.480 turns to Maddy and the agents. Well, thank God 00:35:53.480 --> 00:35:55.340 that's not going to be a problem anymore, right? 00:35:56.400 --> 00:35:59.460 However, in this moment, a peculiar look sweeps 00:35:59.460 --> 00:36:02.679 across his face as frown lines and wrinkles arc 00:36:02.679 --> 00:36:05.679 across his forehead and cheeks. His hair greys 00:36:05.679 --> 00:36:08.260 and sheds as his shoulders begin to slump with 00:36:08.260 --> 00:36:11.199 age. It's like the Nazis in Indiana Jones again, 00:36:11.300 --> 00:36:13.659 but this time, unfortunately, it's going in the 00:36:13.659 --> 00:36:17.460 bad direction. Before you stands a man of a hundred 00:36:17.460 --> 00:36:21.139 years and a day, but Maddy still sees that unmistakable 00:36:21.139 --> 00:36:23.719 sparkle of adoration in his eyes. Don't you dare 00:36:23.719 --> 00:36:28.320 die again, you kind fuck. Don't you worry about 00:36:28.320 --> 00:36:31.679 me, Maddy. I'm going to be just fine. He suddenly 00:36:31.679 --> 00:36:34.000 clutches his chest as this poor fella's heart 00:36:34.000 --> 00:36:36.079 gives out. No, no, no, no, no. And he collapses 00:36:36.079 --> 00:36:38.380 to the deck. No, not again, not again. Gideon, 00:36:38.380 --> 00:36:40.760 Gideon, what can we do? Ah, for a hundred -year 00:36:40.760 --> 00:36:45.059 -old man? He's not really... 100. Come on. I 00:36:45.059 --> 00:36:47.719 can do chest compressions, but I... Alright, 00:36:47.820 --> 00:36:50.119 okay, I'm doing chest compressions. You gave 00:36:50.119 --> 00:36:52.659 a few futile chest compressions. Here are a couple 00:36:52.659 --> 00:36:54.559 of crunches and turn to look at Maddie. There 00:36:54.559 --> 00:36:57.340 must be something else. Mouth to mouth. Dolan, 00:36:57.380 --> 00:37:00.199 this is where you come in. You old dog. I'm glad 00:37:00.199 --> 00:37:01.860 we can joke about this already. I think we've 00:37:01.860 --> 00:37:03.000 got to joke about it. It's the only way through 00:37:03.000 --> 00:37:05.659 the trauma. I don't think I can stand. You don't 00:37:05.659 --> 00:37:08.780 think you can stand at all? It is there. It doesn't 00:37:08.780 --> 00:37:11.579 feel great. There's an imbalance and it hurts 00:37:11.579 --> 00:37:13.699 to breathe right now. Do you want me to take 00:37:13.699 --> 00:37:15.699 a look? No. I'm not trying to fuck with you. 00:37:15.780 --> 00:37:18.079 I'm medically trained. I can help you. Guys, 00:37:18.179 --> 00:37:22.139 Seb's dead. Seb's dead? I think... Again. I kind 00:37:22.139 --> 00:37:24.559 of made my peace with that already. No, I think... 00:37:24.559 --> 00:37:27.860 I actually regret being so hard on him. I was 00:37:27.860 --> 00:37:30.139 really hard on him. I thought he was a loser, 00:37:30.260 --> 00:37:32.980 but he saved our lives. Now there's no time to 00:37:32.980 --> 00:37:35.820 mourn Per Sebastian, however. As the ship suddenly 00:37:35.820 --> 00:37:39.179 lurches, the mast groans and cracks, finally 00:37:39.179 --> 00:37:41.519 giving way to the weight of the centuries catching 00:37:41.519 --> 00:37:44.159 up to it. As the mast crashes onto the deck, 00:37:44.300 --> 00:37:47.099 it tears a trench right through the middle of 00:37:47.099 --> 00:37:50.139 the wood, mere metres from you. The water of 00:37:50.139 --> 00:37:52.719 the cove rushes over the deck as the ship begins 00:37:52.719 --> 00:37:55.320 to sink from its perch into the deeper waters. 00:37:55.599 --> 00:37:58.280 I didn't like you, but... I want to see you buried 00:37:58.280 --> 00:38:01.179 right now. Gideon, showing the utmost respect, 00:38:01.380 --> 00:38:03.800 picks up Prick and throws him over the edge into 00:38:03.800 --> 00:38:07.019 the water before all of our agents take one last 00:38:07.019 --> 00:38:10.420 leap from the deck and splash into the icy waters 00:38:10.420 --> 00:38:18.000 below as we fade to black. Three days later, 00:38:18.079 --> 00:38:20.840 we fade up on the familiar site of White's Tavern. 00:38:21.079 --> 00:38:24.159 Our agents sit around, pints in hand with Mervyn 00:38:24.159 --> 00:38:26.730 and Assumpta. Mervyn went and got chips for everyone, 00:38:26.789 --> 00:38:28.389 and he's ripped the bag open in the middle of 00:38:28.389 --> 00:38:30.530 one of the bar tables so everyone can go at them, 00:38:30.590 --> 00:38:33.409 family style. Cow is over by the pool table, 00:38:33.570 --> 00:38:35.670 trying to eat one of the yellow balls, but ends 00:38:35.670 --> 00:38:38.010 up just licking it into the corner pocket. I 00:38:38.010 --> 00:38:40.409 didn't have Diet Coke. I didn't have normal Coke 00:38:40.409 --> 00:38:43.510 either. She's got Dr. Pepper and Guinness. Look, 00:38:43.550 --> 00:38:46.429 I'll be honest. It's not bad. It's not the worst 00:38:46.429 --> 00:38:49.690 thing I've had. It's no El Fuego Numero 8. She's 00:38:49.690 --> 00:38:51.250 asked me for something I didn't have. I did my 00:38:51.250 --> 00:38:54.010 best. All right? At least order a couple of those 00:38:54.010 --> 00:38:56.269 fish glasses, though. Makes a difference. I don't 00:38:56.269 --> 00:38:59.550 know where to get them. I pocketed one. Oh, did 00:38:59.550 --> 00:39:01.750 you? Yeah. There you go. And there's a grenade, 00:39:02.010 --> 00:39:07.070 just in case. A grenade? That is an ancient explosive. 00:39:07.550 --> 00:39:09.929 Very interesting, Maddy Murphy. And you've also 00:39:09.929 --> 00:39:12.050 just left this cat to wander about here as well. 00:39:12.230 --> 00:39:16.190 Am I to look after that as well? No. My plan 00:39:16.190 --> 00:39:18.670 is that she will imprint on Kai and vice versa, 00:39:18.730 --> 00:39:20.730 and they'll look after each other. That's beautiful. 00:39:21.679 --> 00:39:25.519 But all under my roof, correct? Sometimes. How's 00:39:25.519 --> 00:39:29.760 the leg? Been better, been better. Can you feel 00:39:29.760 --> 00:39:33.400 this? Yeah, no, don't put my leg. Can you feel 00:39:33.400 --> 00:39:37.340 this? What are you doing, Matt? It's like a handbag. 00:39:37.559 --> 00:39:40.139 Don't feel my leg. I apologise, I shouldn't have 00:39:40.139 --> 00:39:44.780 done that. He has a wife in New Zealand. Is this 00:39:44.780 --> 00:39:46.900 something? Hey, show us a picture. Yeah, show 00:39:46.900 --> 00:39:49.500 us a picture of your wife. They're at home. I 00:39:49.500 --> 00:39:51.679 don't have pictures of my wife on me. Nothing 00:39:51.679 --> 00:39:54.619 in your wallet? Just describe her. Probably a 00:39:54.619 --> 00:39:56.480 couple of condoms and that thing. Sorry, you 00:39:56.480 --> 00:39:58.780 guys think I don't have a wife? Kind of. A little 00:39:58.780 --> 00:40:01.380 bit. It's feeling that way. New Zealand feels 00:40:01.380 --> 00:40:03.840 like it has air quotes around it. I seriously 00:40:03.840 --> 00:40:08.139 interrupt myself to help you two. Look, you were 00:40:08.139 --> 00:40:09.360 helping Ireland. And I feel like I'm not getting 00:40:09.360 --> 00:40:12.210 the respect I deserve. You helped Ireland. You 00:40:12.210 --> 00:40:15.570 saved Ireland by your actions. I'm sorry, but 00:40:15.570 --> 00:40:17.590 that wannabe would have done jack shit had he 00:40:17.590 --> 00:40:20.210 made it to the service. He would have maybe killed 00:40:20.210 --> 00:40:22.090 three or four people and then someone would have 00:40:22.090 --> 00:40:25.610 shot him. I don't believe that he was a threat 00:40:25.610 --> 00:40:28.170 to the country. I mean... He made your leg old. 00:40:28.349 --> 00:40:30.989 Yeah. He could make everyone's legs old. Who 00:40:30.989 --> 00:40:33.889 knows? He could have increased in power and eventually 00:40:33.889 --> 00:40:35.670 aged the whole world. You said it yourself, Golden 00:40:35.670 --> 00:40:38.230 Graveyard. Here, medical question, Gideon. Do 00:40:38.230 --> 00:40:40.150 you think that old leg's going to age at the 00:40:40.150 --> 00:40:42.489 same rate as the rest of his body? Oh, or will 00:40:42.489 --> 00:40:44.789 he catch up to the leg? Exactly. I'm going to 00:40:44.789 --> 00:40:47.369 go see a real doctor. Whoa. That's a bit harsh. 00:40:47.630 --> 00:40:49.449 That is a bit harsh. I am medically trained. 00:40:49.929 --> 00:40:54.409 For eyes. For eyes. Yeah. Aye, but, like, legs 00:40:54.409 --> 00:40:56.730 are just the eyes of the torso. Because they 00:40:56.730 --> 00:40:58.630 see the ground that you walk on. Oh, you've read 00:40:58.630 --> 00:41:02.170 the textbooks? Yes. Dolan. Yeah. We've been through 00:41:02.170 --> 00:41:05.150 a lot together. I think it's safe to say, I don't 00:41:05.150 --> 00:41:08.190 know, it just feels like you're... Do you just 00:41:08.190 --> 00:41:10.670 hold them back? You don't trust us for the way 00:41:10.670 --> 00:41:13.349 that we trust everyone else. I feel like we trust 00:41:13.349 --> 00:41:16.570 each other. We parent now. We co -parent. We 00:41:16.570 --> 00:41:18.670 co -parent. We almost did a combo on Valdez. 00:41:18.710 --> 00:41:21.550 Didn't quite work out. But we need to... But 00:41:21.550 --> 00:41:23.030 in principle, it would have been really good. 00:41:23.130 --> 00:41:24.849 In principle. No, I agree. When I was flying 00:41:24.849 --> 00:41:26.869 on the ground with my broken ribs and my withered 00:41:26.869 --> 00:41:29.050 leg, I thought if this had worked out, this would 00:41:29.050 --> 00:41:31.369 have been worth it. I'm glad it worked out in 00:41:31.369 --> 00:41:34.489 the end. I'm sorry about your ex. Oh, yes. I 00:41:34.489 --> 00:41:38.449 believe your ex turned up. Yeah, a few times. 00:41:38.530 --> 00:41:42.630 It was surprising. He was well, and then he wasn't, 00:41:42.630 --> 00:41:44.969 and then he was well again, and then he really 00:41:44.969 --> 00:41:49.110 wasn't. It was a rollercoaster, much like when 00:41:49.110 --> 00:41:51.969 we were together. It was nice to see him. It 00:41:51.969 --> 00:41:57.130 was tough. Been a lot of death for Matty. Well, 00:41:57.150 --> 00:41:59.769 listen, fair play to him, for he did, you know, 00:41:59.829 --> 00:42:02.349 he did put his life on the line to save yours, 00:42:02.510 --> 00:42:07.920 and to save Ireland. From, as you put it, Dolan, 00:42:07.920 --> 00:42:11.000 a man that wouldn't have done much damage. I 00:42:11.000 --> 00:42:13.440 really don't think he would. I mean, you have 00:42:13.440 --> 00:42:17.860 lifelong injuries. Yeah, look, any idiot with 00:42:17.860 --> 00:42:19.539 a baseball bat can inflict lifelong injuries 00:42:19.539 --> 00:42:22.239 on me. You don't need to be a magical being. 00:42:22.260 --> 00:42:24.079 Sounds like a challenge. Don't hit me with a 00:42:24.079 --> 00:42:26.519 baseball bat. You're nothing if not pragmatic, 00:42:26.679 --> 00:42:30.239 Dolan. I'm just saying. Anyway, listen, we had 00:42:30.239 --> 00:42:32.059 a great adventure. I think I went into this moment 00:42:32.059 --> 00:42:34.199 with a lot of bitterness. And I treated a lot 00:42:34.199 --> 00:42:36.059 of people unkindly. I think I went into it without 00:42:36.059 --> 00:42:37.539 a lot of bitterness and I left with a lot of 00:42:37.539 --> 00:42:40.139 bitterness. We arrived from a wake, we went to 00:42:40.139 --> 00:42:41.559 a wake, and now I have another wake to go to. 00:42:42.239 --> 00:42:44.320 Oh, speaking of which, actually, I did a wee 00:42:44.320 --> 00:42:47.199 follow -up on the regulars there. So after you 00:42:47.199 --> 00:42:49.400 lot left, I brought my wife for that belated 00:42:49.400 --> 00:42:52.039 date. Turned out no one in the bar has any recollection 00:42:52.039 --> 00:42:54.539 of it all. They just thought it was a one -day 00:42:54.539 --> 00:42:57.119 wake. You were gone for a week? I called round 00:42:57.119 --> 00:42:59.500 and I saw Cowie was still outside, so I thought 00:42:59.500 --> 00:43:01.449 I'd just walk her home. I assumed that you either 00:43:01.449 --> 00:43:03.710 had it all under control or yous were dead. And 00:43:03.710 --> 00:43:05.289 to clarify, you might have been away a week, 00:43:05.289 --> 00:43:07.929 but you're not getting any extra per diems. So 00:43:07.929 --> 00:43:10.050 if it had felt much longer for us, you would 00:43:10.050 --> 00:43:11.769 be giving us a lot more money? It'd be worth 00:43:11.769 --> 00:43:13.730 a conversation. But honesty is key here, don't 00:43:13.730 --> 00:43:18.030 lie. No, you're not getting £14. We were away 00:43:18.030 --> 00:43:22.230 a week. Yous can have one more of these Dr Pepper 00:43:22.230 --> 00:43:24.389 Guinness things. You need a name for it? I've 00:43:24.389 --> 00:43:27.110 already poured six of them. I was going to call 00:43:27.110 --> 00:43:30.030 it... Brown gold. And I go and stroke the cow. 00:43:30.550 --> 00:43:36.789 A lovely pint of brown gold. Cheers. And that's 00:43:36.789 --> 00:43:47.510 a wrap. And so we've come to the end of this 00:43:47.510 --> 00:43:50.389 week's story. Our knuckles came face to face 00:43:50.389 --> 00:43:53.090 with an honest to God seaman and lived to tell 00:43:53.090 --> 00:43:56.300 the tale. Join us next time as we continue our 00:43:56.300 --> 00:43:59.320 fight against fright. And remember, stay vigilant 00:43:59.320 --> 00:44:01.880 out there unless you want to find yourself in 00:44:01.880 --> 00:44:08.920 the bad articles. Hey folks, thank you so much 00:44:08.920 --> 00:44:11.639 for listening to our silly little show again. 00:44:11.800 --> 00:44:14.380 We have had a blast putting the second article 00:44:14.380 --> 00:44:16.539 together and we can't wait to welcome you back 00:44:16.539 --> 00:44:20.010 to Rathghoul once again. The Bad Articles is 00:44:20.010 --> 00:44:22.889 created by J.R. McCormick and Aidan Kelly. It 00:44:22.889 --> 00:44:25.110 is produced at Felbryn Studios by the wonderful 00:44:25.110 --> 00:44:27.530 Clark Phillips with additional sounds and voices 00:44:27.530 --> 00:44:31.630 from the very far away Conleth McVeigh. Starring 00:44:31.630 --> 00:44:35.989 Laura Conlon as Maddie Murphy, Patrick Meier 00:44:35.989 --> 00:44:40.210 as Dolan Gibbons, and Niall McKenna as Gideon 00:44:40.210 --> 00:44:44.650 Hubble. Featuring Conleth McVeigh as Clary Postman. 00:44:45.579 --> 00:44:47.659 If you have enjoyed the bad articles, we encourage 00:44:47.659 --> 00:44:49.980 you to spread the word by telling your friends 00:44:49.980 --> 00:44:52.679 about this show. We can do all of the marketing 00:44:52.679 --> 00:44:55.000 in the world, but nothing beats your pal telling 00:44:55.000 --> 00:44:57.239 you to check out something cool. If you'd like 00:44:57.239 --> 00:44:59.079 to discuss anything related to the bad articles 00:44:59.079 --> 00:45:01.280 with other fans or those of us who make the show, 00:45:01.400 --> 00:45:03.360 we have a Discord community where you can do 00:45:03.360 --> 00:45:05.900 just that. And if you want to support the show 00:45:05.900 --> 00:45:07.980 further, you can head on over to our Ko-fi and 00:45:07.980 --> 00:45:10.019 drop us a little tip to help keep the lights 00:45:10.019 --> 00:45:13.559 on and the cast warmed. Improvisers are notoriously 00:45:13.559 --> 00:45:16.010 chilly people. You can find links to everything 00:45:16.010 --> 00:45:19.110 you need in the show notes. My name is JR McCormick, 00:45:19.110 --> 00:45:20.929 and I will see you on the other side.