WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.000 The Bad Articles is an improvised comedy show. 00:00:03.180 --> 00:00:06.080 That means our cast have no idea what they're 00:00:06.080 --> 00:00:09.500 going to say until they say it. In addition to 00:00:09.500 --> 00:00:12.699 this, we use a rules-light percentile dice system 00:00:12.699 --> 00:00:15.060 of our own making to drive certain aspects of 00:00:15.060 --> 00:00:19.000 the story. An extra touch of chaos. If you hear 00:00:19.000 --> 00:00:24.480 this sound, it means someone has succeeded. If 00:00:24.480 --> 00:00:28.160 you hear this sound, it means they've failed. 00:00:28.679 --> 00:00:31.480 To avoid injury or inconvenience, you'll hear 00:00:31.480 --> 00:00:34.479 us call for a preservation roll. This allows 00:00:34.479 --> 00:00:36.799 our players to react to an immediate threat. 00:00:37.000 --> 00:00:39.520 When inspiration strikes, you'll hear us ask 00:00:39.520 --> 00:00:42.399 for a luck roll. This gives our players the chance 00:00:42.399 --> 00:00:44.560 to pull something useful from their pockets or 00:00:44.560 --> 00:00:47.299 the environment, right there in the moment. Try 00:00:47.299 --> 00:00:49.060 not to worry too much about the mechanics, though. 00:00:49.119 --> 00:00:51.979 The dice are just for us. The story they help 00:00:51.979 --> 00:00:55.079 us create, that's for you. For more information 00:00:55.079 --> 00:00:57.240 on our rule system, you can check out the episode 00:00:57.240 --> 00:00:59.799 descriptions, explore our socials, or you can 00:00:59.799 --> 00:01:01.899 join our Discord server and talk with the creators. 00:01:02.100 --> 00:01:10.319 Enjoy the show. Since the dawn of time, Ireland 00:01:10.319 --> 00:01:14.120 has played host to unimaginable horrors, ushered 00:01:14.120 --> 00:01:16.239 in through an ever-wakening veil between our 00:01:16.239 --> 00:01:19.439 world and the other side. They live among us, 00:01:19.540 --> 00:01:25.650 shaping our mythology, sowing chaos. Scaring the shit out 00:01:25.650 --> 00:01:29.329 of people. Not all hope is lost. Underfunded, 00:01:29.430 --> 00:01:32.489 undergunned and underappreciated, the OSNA stand 00:01:32.489 --> 00:01:34.909 proudly in the way of unchecked otherworldly 00:01:34.909 --> 00:01:37.890 chaos. This secret network of brave volunteers 00:01:37.890 --> 00:01:40.709 put their lives and their sanity on the line, 00:01:40.750 --> 00:01:43.409 all for a better tomorrow. Have you ever been 00:01:43.409 --> 00:01:45.390 pursued by the living dead and sought refuge 00:01:45.390 --> 00:01:47.370 from their foul, shambling corpses within the 00:01:47.370 --> 00:01:49.609 sanctified walls of a church or chapel, only 00:01:49.609 --> 00:01:51.689 to realise that zombies don't give a fuck about 00:01:51.689 --> 00:01:53.829 God and that they can just wander in anyway? 00:01:54.349 --> 00:01:57.609 You better call the OSNA before you find yourself 00:01:57.609 --> 00:02:05.609 in The Bad Articles. Hello, hello, hello. My 00:02:05.609 --> 00:02:07.709 name is JR McCormick and I am absolutely delighted 00:02:07.709 --> 00:02:11.229 to welcome you to the second recording of The 00:02:11.229 --> 00:02:14.409 Bad Articles. This is an improvised comedy horror 00:02:14.409 --> 00:02:16.689 tabletop show set right here in Ireland, so if 00:02:16.689 --> 00:02:18.870 you're a fan of rolling dice, sipping Guinness 00:02:18.870 --> 00:02:21.590 and being mildly haunted, you've come to the 00:02:21.590 --> 00:02:25.449 right place. Every engine needs an ear, so give 00:02:25.449 --> 00:02:27.129 it up to the man in the hidden fortress with 00:02:27.129 --> 00:02:29.129 the headphones on. It's our resident sound sorcerer, 00:02:29.150 --> 00:02:32.870 Clark Phillips. Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! 00:02:33.090 --> 00:02:35.830 Huzzah! Every game needs its master, and guiding 00:02:35.830 --> 00:02:38.030 us through tonight's creeping dread is none other 00:02:38.030 --> 00:02:40.789 than our very own sweet prince of darkness, Aidan 00:02:40.789 --> 00:02:45.169 Kelly. Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! And of 00:02:45.169 --> 00:02:48.110 course... What's a game without players? Before 00:02:48.110 --> 00:02:50.729 we abandon our real names and descend into madness 00:02:50.729 --> 00:02:53.289 together, please allow me to introduce our wonderful 00:02:53.289 --> 00:02:56.830 cast. As Maddie Murphy, we have Laura Conlon. 00:02:57.189 --> 00:03:01.530 Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! As Dolan Gibbons, 00:03:01.569 --> 00:03:04.990 we have Patrick Meier. Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! 00:03:04.990 --> 00:03:08.169 Huzzah! And as Gideon Hubble, we have Niall McKenna. 00:03:08.590 --> 00:03:14.000 Huzzah! Huzzah! There's always a pause. Does 00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:15.780 anyone feel this is going to be harder than last 00:03:15.780 --> 00:03:19.900 time? This is going to be... Like they've introduced 00:03:19.900 --> 00:03:24.860 new mechanics. Yeah. I feel... We are not using 00:03:24.860 --> 00:03:28.560 the practice dice anymore. No. We've got the 00:03:28.560 --> 00:03:31.099 stabilizers off those dice. No rubber rings. 00:03:31.280 --> 00:03:35.639 You're all going to be okay. Fuck. Maybe. I mean, 00:03:35.639 --> 00:03:38.000 that's what you told Con. That is what it is, 00:03:38.180 --> 00:03:40.400 yeah. So last time we had a little question. 00:03:40.960 --> 00:03:43.020 Before we started, just a little chitter -chatter, 00:03:43.080 --> 00:03:45.180 getting to know you guys better. We've got a 00:03:45.180 --> 00:03:49.379 question this time around. Have any of you ever 00:03:49.379 --> 00:03:53.780 found actual treasure? Niall McKenna. My brother 00:03:53.780 --> 00:03:58.240 says that he found like a hundred pounds in a 00:03:58.240 --> 00:04:02.139 hedge one time. Is that treasure or is that just 00:04:02.139 --> 00:04:04.879 someone else's money? It has value. My parents 00:04:04.879 --> 00:04:07.419 were like, he absolutely did not. Coins or notes? 00:04:08.060 --> 00:04:11.319 I don't know. I never saw it. But my parents 00:04:11.319 --> 00:04:14.159 were like, are you dealing drugs? I don't actually 00:04:14.159 --> 00:04:16.160 know. Am I asking? Get him on the phone. Get 00:04:16.160 --> 00:04:18.699 him on the phone. Can we get a call in? Aidan 00:04:18.699 --> 00:04:21.480 Kelly. Have you ever found treasure? No, but 00:04:21.480 --> 00:04:24.120 I could see myself getting into like metal detectorism. 00:04:24.120 --> 00:04:27.379 I could see that for you 100%. Yeah. I've seen 00:04:27.379 --> 00:04:29.339 one man on a beach do it once and I thought, 00:04:29.399 --> 00:04:31.279 that looks like a nice way to spend a Sunday. 00:04:31.319 --> 00:04:33.759 Yeah, you would suit that. Laura Conlon. Did 00:04:33.759 --> 00:04:37.079 you find anything cool? Treasure? I find a lot 00:04:37.079 --> 00:04:39.660 of treasures in charity shops. But I don't know 00:04:39.660 --> 00:04:42.199 if that counts quite the same. But my mother 00:04:42.199 --> 00:04:44.540 has raised me to have an eye for something that's 00:04:44.540 --> 00:04:48.199 worth a lot more than 50p. Oh, for sure. So that 00:04:48.199 --> 00:04:51.459 far. Yeah. I dig that. I believe that. Patrick? 00:04:52.120 --> 00:04:55.379 I don't think so. When I was younger, there was 00:04:55.379 --> 00:04:58.620 like a sort of like a field area where... They 00:04:58.620 --> 00:05:02.139 found dinosaur bones at one point. And I didn't 00:05:02.139 --> 00:05:05.079 find them. I wish I did. But they had like this 00:05:05.079 --> 00:05:08.019 sort of like flint -like rocks. And I remember 00:05:08.019 --> 00:05:09.649 all the kids would always just like... picked 00:05:09.649 --> 00:05:11.069 them up and always be convinced that this was 00:05:11.069 --> 00:05:13.069 like a fossil from hundreds of years ago. It 00:05:13.069 --> 00:05:16.310 was not, but it was a nice wee make -pretend. 00:05:16.569 --> 00:05:19.670 I enjoy that. And I like that for you, especially. 00:05:19.970 --> 00:05:21.790 That's a good cover story for the treasure that 00:05:21.790 --> 00:05:23.709 you definitely have found and don't want to tell 00:05:23.709 --> 00:05:26.389 us about. Yeah, yeah. Both times you've asked 00:05:26.389 --> 00:05:28.069 us questions, Patrick's been like, not really, 00:05:28.209 --> 00:05:31.910 and then told the most interesting answer. Dinosaur 00:05:31.910 --> 00:05:35.129 bones? Yeah, I'm trying to auction off dinosaur 00:05:35.129 --> 00:05:39.329 bones in secret. It's my retirement plan. I love 00:05:39.329 --> 00:05:41.110 it. Well, those were all marvellous stories. 00:05:41.329 --> 00:05:43.250 I enjoyed them thoroughly. Definitely yours, 00:05:43.310 --> 00:05:46.250 Patrick, was top of the bunch. I, too, have a 00:05:46.250 --> 00:05:51.189 little story for yous. This wee story takes place 00:05:51.189 --> 00:05:55.110 on a Saturday in the town of Rathgoul in the 00:05:55.110 --> 00:06:00.129 year of our Lord, 1993. Now, as you know, this 00:06:00.129 --> 00:06:02.689 quaint city village sits at the heart of Ireland. 00:06:02.850 --> 00:06:05.410 But did you also know that it's within a stone's 00:06:05.410 --> 00:06:08.110 throw of the coastline? I know. Sure, that's 00:06:08.110 --> 00:06:10.490 madness, says you. But this is a place of tall 00:06:10.490 --> 00:06:13.149 tales. And you might be surprised just how well 00:06:13.149 --> 00:06:15.610 in the landscape is to change in order to host 00:06:15.610 --> 00:06:17.649 a good story. And sure, if you squint a bit, 00:06:17.750 --> 00:06:20.279 it'll all make sense. It can't have been more 00:06:20.279 --> 00:06:23.160 than a week since we last left our brave volunteers 00:06:23.160 --> 00:06:26.660 raising a glass of unpasteurised milk to their 00:06:26.660 --> 00:06:29.959 fallen comrade, Clary Postman the Milkman. Warm 00:06:29.959 --> 00:06:32.199 unpasteurised milk, come to think of it. Which 00:06:32.199 --> 00:06:34.199 reminds me, I really do need to sort out the 00:06:34.199 --> 00:06:36.259 fridge situation in the pub. The one one in the 00:06:36.259 --> 00:06:38.600 back finally gave up the ghost, which I promptly 00:06:38.600 --> 00:06:40.839 sucked up into the hoover like a Dan Aykroyd. 00:06:41.550 --> 00:06:44.569 I'm only joking. That was just a wee bit of ghost 00:06:44.569 --> 00:06:46.370 -hunting humour there to try and lighten the 00:06:46.370 --> 00:06:49.230 mood because a man is dead. But I will say, if 00:06:49.230 --> 00:06:51.050 you're ever stuck, that Hoover trick does work, 00:06:51.089 --> 00:06:52.850 but not in poltergeists, for they tend to be 00:06:52.850 --> 00:06:55.790 thicker. Anyway, on the corner of Slitter's Cross 00:06:55.790 --> 00:06:58.129 sits a crooked and dishevelled little building 00:06:58.129 --> 00:07:00.649 with a set of big red doors. I'm sure you know 00:07:00.649 --> 00:07:03.970 it well. It's White's Tavern. And inside we find 00:07:03.970 --> 00:07:07.110 Matty Murphy, Dolan Gibbons and Gideon Hubble. 00:07:08.009 --> 00:07:09.829 They're all sitting at a wee table alongside 00:07:09.829 --> 00:07:13.189 our Mervyn. All dressed in black with sullen 00:07:13.189 --> 00:07:16.610 looks on their faces. For today was the day of 00:07:16.610 --> 00:07:19.730 Clary's memorial service. I'm behind the bar 00:07:19.730 --> 00:07:22.569 dressed normal because I didn't go. I wonder 00:07:22.569 --> 00:07:24.750 if your man Gideon regrets killing his mate. 00:07:26.629 --> 00:07:30.410 I regret killing my mate. Okay, it wasn't you. 00:07:30.689 --> 00:07:33.910 It was the big worm. I mean, I think... You acted 00:07:33.910 --> 00:07:36.629 poorly. But it wasn't intentional. I just think 00:07:36.629 --> 00:07:40.100 about... What he used to say, you know? A boy 00:07:40.100 --> 00:07:41.959 needs his father and a father needs his boy. 00:07:42.060 --> 00:07:44.259 Well, yeah. He's never going to see his boy. 00:07:44.720 --> 00:07:47.660 Listen, Gideon... Another glass of spiked milk, 00:07:47.740 --> 00:07:50.399 please. It could have been... I deserve the gastric 00:07:50.399 --> 00:07:52.480 disturbances. Coming up. Please stop drinking 00:07:52.480 --> 00:07:56.339 that. It really could have been anyone of the 00:07:56.339 --> 00:08:02.100 four of us. Four of us. Five, sorry. Birdie. 00:08:03.279 --> 00:08:06.560 He took his damages. I appreciate you saying 00:08:06.560 --> 00:08:09.319 that, but I think I'm going to have to do a lot 00:08:09.319 --> 00:08:13.579 to redeem myself, to be honest. Well, I had a 00:08:13.579 --> 00:08:16.000 thought about that. His car's still out there. 00:08:16.560 --> 00:08:19.920 Not the wreck. Did no one take out the milk? 00:08:20.300 --> 00:08:23.639 Yeah, that's... I brought buckets and gloves, 00:08:23.819 --> 00:08:25.860 but to be honest, I wasn't very keen on doing 00:08:25.860 --> 00:08:30.860 it myself. Oh, so now this is a... What you're 00:08:30.860 --> 00:08:32.919 suggesting is a group activity? Am I understanding 00:08:32.919 --> 00:08:35.080 correctly? Well, if he's looking to redeem himself, 00:08:35.340 --> 00:08:37.899 I suppose I'm content with just him doing it. 00:08:37.960 --> 00:08:39.940 I will do it. Right. I will do it. Is that a 00:08:39.940 --> 00:08:42.840 hazmat suit? No. Oh. Just regular coveralls. 00:08:43.519 --> 00:08:46.759 Marigolds. Good luck. Nice. Got a wee mask because 00:08:46.759 --> 00:08:49.340 I thought the smell. Yeah, thanks. I appreciate 00:08:49.340 --> 00:08:53.100 that. I'll leave his... What's the term? Effects? 00:08:53.379 --> 00:08:56.840 Is that the one? The fucked on the tapes? Yeah, 00:08:56.860 --> 00:08:59.360 the tapes. Yeah. Maybe bring them in. Yeah, bring 00:08:59.360 --> 00:09:01.679 them in. but in a solemn and respectful fashion. 00:09:03.340 --> 00:09:05.379 Here's your spiked milk there, Gideon. Thank 00:09:05.379 --> 00:09:08.279 you. Please don't drink that. I'm begging you, 00:09:08.320 --> 00:09:10.960 please. I was the memorial service anyway. I 00:09:10.960 --> 00:09:13.580 know we didn't have the body, but every OSNA 00:09:13.580 --> 00:09:16.360 agent gets one. Look, it was very respectful. 00:09:16.580 --> 00:09:18.019 You know, everyone stood up. They said their 00:09:18.019 --> 00:09:20.820 wee piece. No, you know, he was a good fella. 00:09:20.940 --> 00:09:23.740 You know, it's dangerous work, so you can't go 00:09:23.740 --> 00:09:26.679 blaming yourself. I didn't expect as many milkmen. 00:09:26.990 --> 00:09:29.009 Honestly, neither did I. I don't know how word 00:09:29.009 --> 00:09:30.490 got out. These are normally close ceremonies, 00:09:30.629 --> 00:09:33.710 but I don't know, there must be some secret channel 00:09:33.710 --> 00:09:36.590 that all these milkmen communicate on. Hey, maybe 00:09:36.590 --> 00:09:40.769 there was a tape in the eventuality. Well... 00:09:40.769 --> 00:09:45.710 He seemed the sort. Speaking of, actually, while 00:09:45.710 --> 00:09:47.490 yous were out at the memorial service, of course 00:09:47.490 --> 00:09:50.190 I had to stay here with Bertie, but I did get 00:09:50.190 --> 00:09:53.929 a wee visit from a real postman today. And he 00:09:53.929 --> 00:09:56.590 did drop this round. How long? It says here it's 00:09:56.590 --> 00:09:58.309 the last will and testament to Clary Postman. 00:09:59.330 --> 00:10:01.929 He had it delivered here. He had it delivered 00:10:01.929 --> 00:10:07.769 here. Well, not him. Signed by Maud. Must have 00:10:07.769 --> 00:10:11.149 been his wife. Did that ever come up? I haven't 00:10:11.149 --> 00:10:15.710 even considered it. Oh, God. Oh. This might be 00:10:15.710 --> 00:10:17.830 terrible of me, but I just assumed he... Yeah, 00:10:17.850 --> 00:10:22.730 100%. Separated, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, why 00:10:22.730 --> 00:10:27.379 has it come here? Well, your own guess is as 00:10:27.379 --> 00:10:29.399 good as mine, but... You're sticking in. It has 00:10:29.399 --> 00:10:32.139 a wee tape here, so it does, and I suppose we 00:10:32.139 --> 00:10:34.080 should listen to it together. Birdie, I know 00:10:34.080 --> 00:10:35.740 you're still recovering from your injuries, but 00:10:35.740 --> 00:10:40.519 can you play this tape for us? It's a toy. You 00:10:40.519 --> 00:10:42.840 don't need to... Shut the fuck up. It's not a 00:10:42.840 --> 00:10:45.039 toy, Dolan. It's absolutely not a toy. This bar 00:10:45.039 --> 00:10:46.559 to be lost without him will be honest with you. 00:10:47.039 --> 00:10:48.840 I just don't understand. I'm sorry. I'm just 00:10:48.840 --> 00:10:51.350 very stressed. Guys, can we not... fight over 00:10:51.350 --> 00:10:54.929 Bertie in front of Bertie. It's a very sad time. 00:10:55.929 --> 00:10:58.529 People are grieving. He's got a microphone that's 00:10:58.529 --> 00:11:01.870 like robot ears. Sorry. Sorry for sparring in 00:11:01.870 --> 00:11:05.850 front of... Sorry, Bertie. That's your first 00:11:05.850 --> 00:11:07.830 step to redemption right there, Gideon. I appreciate 00:11:07.830 --> 00:11:09.690 that. Well, it was a step back and then a step 00:11:09.690 --> 00:11:12.330 forward, but... Sorry, in the interest of... 00:11:12.330 --> 00:11:16.389 You're in the same place that you were. Like 00:11:16.389 --> 00:11:18.129 snakes and ladders. Like snakes and ladders, 00:11:18.190 --> 00:11:21.610 yeah. Right, shall we play on this? Yes, please. 00:11:23.090 --> 00:11:25.289 Hey, it's me again, Clyde Busman, the Milkman. 00:11:25.470 --> 00:11:29.009 I'm doing a wee mission here for the official 00:11:29.009 --> 00:11:35.649 Supernatural Never Regions agency. And I'm going 00:11:35.649 --> 00:11:37.289 to Spars Hollow, and there's something about 00:11:37.289 --> 00:11:39.830 them. I don't know, I trust them. They seem like 00:11:39.830 --> 00:11:42.669 good folk. They were, and they were really interested 00:11:42.669 --> 00:11:45.389 in me and CJ. They even, they even came out to 00:11:45.389 --> 00:11:48.450 my car to see all the cooling systems I had jerry 00:11:48.450 --> 00:11:50.669 -rigged in and all. I accidentally called it 00:11:50.669 --> 00:11:53.210 a contraption, and they only made fun of me a 00:11:53.210 --> 00:11:56.309 little too. So you know, good people. They said 00:11:56.309 --> 00:11:58.429 they'd help me look for CJ too, and that, that 00:11:58.429 --> 00:12:01.149 means a lot. Uh, anyway, I'm on, I'm on my way 00:12:01.149 --> 00:12:03.809 to Spars Hollow to go and find some robot turnips. 00:12:04.429 --> 00:12:06.669 And you have a bit of time to kill. We're still 00:12:06.669 --> 00:12:10.149 like 40 miles. We're still going. So this is 00:12:10.149 --> 00:12:12.629 the last will and testament of Clary Postman, 00:12:12.830 --> 00:12:17.529 the Milkman. Amendment 56, this is. Amendment 00:12:17.529 --> 00:12:21.470 56. Now, if you've listened to the previous 55 00:12:21.470 --> 00:12:24.230 wills, you know that most of my things are going 00:12:24.230 --> 00:12:27.470 to go to Maude and to CJ. So first and foremost, 00:12:27.710 --> 00:12:30.250 it's the tapes. I'm going to ask Maddie Murphy 00:12:30.250 --> 00:12:32.889 to hold on to them for CJ, I think. I'm actually 00:12:32.889 --> 00:12:35.250 driving behind Maddie and she's a good driver, 00:12:35.350 --> 00:12:37.269 I'll tell you that much. And she seemed to really 00:12:37.269 --> 00:12:40.169 care about CJ. She didn't make fun of him for 00:12:40.169 --> 00:12:43.149 being lost or nothing. Did any of us make fun 00:12:43.149 --> 00:12:46.029 of him for being lost? No, I don't think so. 00:12:46.190 --> 00:12:47.649 Not a lot. I think the man just had a low bar. 00:12:47.909 --> 00:12:50.610 He also was totally nursing that robot turnips 00:12:50.610 --> 00:12:52.970 thing long after he said it was done. But anyway, 00:12:53.129 --> 00:12:56.279 let's hear on. But if she doesn't want them, 00:12:56.360 --> 00:12:58.659 maybe Assumpta will, because I've got two years' 00:12:58.799 --> 00:13:00.480 worth of tapes here, and she might want that 00:13:00.480 --> 00:13:04.639 for her OSNA archives, because, oh boy, have 00:13:04.639 --> 00:13:07.200 I seen some wild stuff in these past two years. 00:13:07.279 --> 00:13:12.600 Like, actually wild, because now that I think 00:13:12.600 --> 00:13:15.039 about it, there's a good few things on the island 00:13:15.039 --> 00:13:18.039 I need to tell her about. Anyway, next up on 00:13:18.039 --> 00:13:20.659 the list is my car. What a wonderful wee thing 00:13:20.659 --> 00:13:23.059 you are. But I think I'll give you to Dolan because 00:13:23.059 --> 00:13:25.360 his wife isn't around right now and he was wanting 00:13:25.360 --> 00:13:27.919 to cut down on his milk. Can you imagine that? 00:13:28.039 --> 00:13:30.679 Cutting down on his... Ah, but if he takes my 00:13:30.679 --> 00:13:32.659 car, he doesn't even have to because he could 00:13:32.659 --> 00:13:35.100 just store his milk in there and for her until 00:13:35.100 --> 00:13:37.899 she gets back. Buzz, I'll just hand these to 00:13:37.899 --> 00:13:39.740 you. It seems like the car is your responsibility. 00:13:39.879 --> 00:13:42.460 Taking care of it is definitely your thing, yeah. 00:13:42.659 --> 00:13:44.759 So how far we've gone from redemption? I'll just 00:13:44.759 --> 00:13:46.720 redeem myself another way. Now you're distancing 00:13:46.720 --> 00:13:48.399 yourself. The worm killed the man. I just hurried 00:13:48.399 --> 00:13:51.200 things along. Play the tape. And then as a bonus 00:13:51.200 --> 00:13:53.379 too, this car's so good because now he has a 00:13:53.379 --> 00:13:55.539 secret place to come and cry if he ever needs 00:13:55.539 --> 00:13:57.440 to. I don't know if he needs to, but he might 00:13:57.440 --> 00:13:59.679 need to. His wife's gone. I don't need to cry. 00:14:00.500 --> 00:14:03.600 You can talk to us if you need to. I don't. I 00:14:03.600 --> 00:14:05.279 can talk to... You can talk to Gideon if you 00:14:05.279 --> 00:14:07.000 want to. It's a safe space here. I can also talk 00:14:07.000 --> 00:14:09.200 to my wife or kids. I don't need to talk to you 00:14:09.200 --> 00:14:12.110 two. But if he does need to, the freezing cold 00:14:12.110 --> 00:14:14.049 temperatures here keeps the moisture from ever 00:14:14.049 --> 00:14:16.129 leaving your eyes, so you can just feel every 00:14:16.129 --> 00:14:18.049 emotion you've ever felt in here and no one's 00:14:18.049 --> 00:14:20.889 any the wiser. Which is pretty useful from time 00:14:20.889 --> 00:14:25.009 to time, to be honest. Finally, there's Gideon. 00:14:26.009 --> 00:14:29.450 Gideon! He's seen some stuff too. He gets these 00:14:29.450 --> 00:14:32.230 weird premonitions of death and all that, which 00:14:32.230 --> 00:14:34.730 is mad. So he's going to get my milk holsters 00:14:34.730 --> 00:14:37.230 for safety, you know, because maybe he can keep 00:14:37.230 --> 00:14:39.370 his eye equipment with him at all times or something 00:14:39.370 --> 00:14:42.129 and then he can begin to weaponize his gift. 00:14:43.250 --> 00:14:45.009 I'm going to look like I have like an infant 00:14:45.009 --> 00:14:47.309 son. Like if I wear these in the street, people 00:14:47.309 --> 00:14:49.169 will be like, where's the child? Don't word. 00:14:49.690 --> 00:14:51.730 You're going to look like you have a gun if they're 00:14:51.730 --> 00:14:54.149 empty. That's true. You gotta put something in 00:14:54.149 --> 00:14:56.509 them. Yeah. Nothing scarier than an empty holster. 00:14:56.649 --> 00:15:00.389 Do you give us... Weapons? Yeah. Oh, I had a 00:15:00.389 --> 00:15:02.830 question about reimbursement as well. Oh, for 00:15:02.830 --> 00:15:05.429 petrol? Well, I had to buy a round of drinks 00:15:05.429 --> 00:15:07.830 and I haven't been reimbursed for that. You offered... 00:15:07.830 --> 00:15:11.470 Well, it was either that or have Wide Tommy come 00:15:11.470 --> 00:15:14.409 and beat you guys. Wide Tommy? Dylan! Dylan! 00:15:14.690 --> 00:15:16.870 I thought you guys had something. I thought that 00:15:16.870 --> 00:15:18.289 was a friendship for life. You absolutely did 00:15:18.289 --> 00:15:22.230 have something. Play the tape. Finally, finally, 00:15:22.289 --> 00:15:26.490 I want to speak to the person who killed me because 00:15:26.490 --> 00:15:29.070 I know in my heart of hearts that I'm going to 00:15:29.070 --> 00:15:32.429 be killed and not just die. So for you, the person 00:15:32.429 --> 00:15:36.029 who killed me, my first gift to you is that I 00:15:36.029 --> 00:15:38.450 absolve you of your guilt. I forgive you for 00:15:38.450 --> 00:15:42.070 killing me. Yes! We all agreed it was the worm 00:15:42.070 --> 00:15:44.850 five minutes ago. So we absolve the worm? Yeah. 00:15:44.970 --> 00:15:47.629 So I was never to blame. You celebrated a little 00:15:47.629 --> 00:15:50.169 too hard at that. I did. I did. That's another 00:15:50.169 --> 00:15:52.070 step back on the snakes and ladders. You're still 00:15:52.070 --> 00:15:54.190 wearing your suits. That's another snake, Gideon. 00:15:54.210 --> 00:15:56.389 Maybe this isn't about Clary. Maybe this is just 00:15:56.389 --> 00:15:59.009 about me being a better person. I think you don't 00:15:59.009 --> 00:16:01.330 want to clean the milk. Okay. None of us want 00:16:01.330 --> 00:16:03.029 to clean the milk. Yeah, but it's Dolan's car 00:16:03.029 --> 00:16:04.929 now, and if Dolan wants Gideon to clean the milk. 00:16:05.110 --> 00:16:07.490 All right. We just need to get the car in piece 00:16:07.490 --> 00:16:10.350 by piece. You're not bringing a bloody car into 00:16:10.350 --> 00:16:12.710 the pub. There's no room. There's a pillow table 00:16:12.710 --> 00:16:14.470 over there. I was kidding, guys. Pillow table. 00:16:15.210 --> 00:16:17.629 I'm sure you had your reasons, and I do know 00:16:17.629 --> 00:16:20.649 that you're going to be a milkman. 100 % you're 00:16:20.649 --> 00:16:23.889 definitely a milkman. So I can respect you doing 00:16:23.889 --> 00:16:25.669 your duty and just taking me out. Pause, pause. 00:16:26.009 --> 00:16:29.509 Milkmaster. Pause. No! No, don't say that. Did 00:16:29.509 --> 00:16:32.129 he assume another milkman was going to come? 00:16:33.029 --> 00:16:34.909 And they were all at the funeral? Was that safe? 00:16:35.250 --> 00:16:37.730 Look, I think that there's stuff going on amongst 00:16:37.730 --> 00:16:40.950 milkmen that us mere mortals can't understand. 00:16:41.330 --> 00:16:44.889 I think, you know, there's some weird... equally 00:16:44.889 --> 00:16:46.269 clandestine organisation going on there? It certainly 00:16:46.269 --> 00:16:48.649 is. Wow, this can be our next assignment, is 00:16:48.649 --> 00:16:52.169 looking into the milk mafia in Ireland. I like 00:16:52.169 --> 00:16:55.190 the term milk mafia. I like that more than believing 00:16:55.190 --> 00:16:57.090 that it might be true. Yeah, the name is good. 00:16:57.269 --> 00:17:00.070 Yes. Did you notice at the funeral, at the wake 00:17:00.070 --> 00:17:02.409 rather, they all ate sandwiches at the same time? 00:17:03.029 --> 00:17:06.089 The noise was unsettling, yes. Like a murmuration 00:17:06.089 --> 00:17:10.109 of starlings. Sandwiches? Excuse me, Mervyn, 00:17:10.130 --> 00:17:12.490 did we put on a spread? No, they brought their 00:17:12.490 --> 00:17:14.450 own. Oh, good. Yep, they all had their wee peace 00:17:14.450 --> 00:17:17.430 box and they took them out and then it was borderline 00:17:17.430 --> 00:17:19.609 deafening. You heard this big... Cacophonous. 00:17:20.609 --> 00:17:23.930 Horrifying. Pan, loaf, bread, butter and sugar. 00:17:24.150 --> 00:17:28.430 You know it. However, you will also know what 00:17:28.430 --> 00:17:31.470 awaits you now. So to my killer, I bequeath you 00:17:31.470 --> 00:17:35.349 my pride and joy, cow. And I'm sure you're well 00:17:35.349 --> 00:17:37.990 aware that she is the cow that makes my milk 00:17:37.990 --> 00:17:42.859 the purest milk in all the land. It's one cow. 00:17:43.640 --> 00:17:46.819 So much milk. That seems... I live in a one -bedroom 00:17:46.819 --> 00:17:49.240 apartment in the centre of town. I can't have 00:17:49.240 --> 00:17:52.460 a cow. I can't have a cow. So we're back to you 00:17:52.460 --> 00:17:55.599 being the cow. So you killed him. I've got a 00:17:55.599 --> 00:17:57.559 lot of confused feelings about this. We can't 00:17:57.559 --> 00:17:58.740 give the cow to a worm. We're not giving the 00:17:58.740 --> 00:18:00.519 cow to a worm. No, we can't. Don't even know 00:18:00.519 --> 00:18:02.059 where it is anymore. Although it would solve 00:18:02.059 --> 00:18:05.200 the cow problem in many ways. Whoa. The cow problem. 00:18:05.980 --> 00:18:07.700 Assumption. Do you want to take care of it? Do 00:18:07.700 --> 00:18:09.740 I? Fuck. Well, then it's a problem, isn't it? 00:18:09.799 --> 00:18:14.789 What if... The cow lives here. Free milk. I do 00:18:14.789 --> 00:18:18.210 only sell it unpasteurised. You do. You do. The 00:18:18.210 --> 00:18:21.250 cow can do what Omnibot was doing. Pour pints. 00:18:21.450 --> 00:18:25.049 And then I can take Omnibot back into my care. 00:18:25.049 --> 00:18:27.450 Maddy Murphy, you're not taking Omnibot out of 00:18:27.450 --> 00:18:29.970 this bar again. He's mine. He's perfect. You 00:18:29.970 --> 00:18:32.630 brought him back with a bloody working elbow. 00:18:32.690 --> 00:18:36.190 I've never seen pints poured like it. It's protein 00:18:36.190 --> 00:18:40.579 dense. Nutrient rich omnipotent milk. It can 00:18:40.579 --> 00:18:44.140 completely sustain the human body. And it is 00:18:44.140 --> 00:18:46.759 the only thing that I've consumed for the past 00:18:46.759 --> 00:18:49.180 four years. Now, obviously, I can't tell you 00:18:49.180 --> 00:18:51.259 how I managed to get cow to create that milk. 00:18:51.400 --> 00:18:53.259 I mean, I think I did on one of these tapes, 00:18:53.339 --> 00:18:55.339 so maybe Maddie knows, but that was for CJ's 00:18:55.339 --> 00:18:58.519 ears and not yours. And of course, such a magnificent 00:18:58.519 --> 00:19:02.480 creature draws iron eyes. And there are one particular 00:19:02.480 --> 00:19:06.079 set of eyes and greedy, greedy paws that you 00:19:06.079 --> 00:19:09.750 must keep cows safe from. So your task... Person 00:19:09.750 --> 00:19:12.589 who killed me, Clary Postman the Milkman, is 00:19:12.589 --> 00:19:17.950 to keep cows safe. Keep her safe from him. Oh. 00:19:18.529 --> 00:19:20.930 Well, it's over. Is that it? It seems to be it. 00:19:21.089 --> 00:19:23.329 It was a lot. That was a nominous ending. And 00:19:23.329 --> 00:19:25.309 he recorded that the whole way to Sparrow's Hollow? 00:19:25.349 --> 00:19:28.789 That's fucking madness. Yeah, that's kind of... 00:19:28.789 --> 00:19:32.930 He's updated this thing 56 times. Knowing that 00:19:32.930 --> 00:19:35.890 he's updated it so frequently. Kind of gives 00:19:35.890 --> 00:19:38.589 me a bit of ease. But knowing that he had met 00:19:38.589 --> 00:19:42.089 us, had been sent out and was like, I'm going 00:19:42.089 --> 00:19:45.609 to die. Gotta update my will. Doesn't make me 00:19:45.609 --> 00:19:47.549 feel amazing about my connection with Clary. 00:19:48.509 --> 00:19:50.650 Also, Maude has written here in the letter that 00:19:50.650 --> 00:19:52.930 the tape was sent in no swapsies in all caps. 00:19:53.130 --> 00:19:54.630 I don't know what that means. I think that means 00:19:54.630 --> 00:19:57.210 you're stuck with a cow, sir. I mean, if you 00:19:57.210 --> 00:19:58.829 have the tapes, could we see if we have a man 00:19:58.829 --> 00:20:01.069 in 55 and maybe see who the cow was meant to 00:20:01.069 --> 00:20:03.549 go on before? It seems to me as though the cow 00:20:03.549 --> 00:20:05.049 was always meant to go to the person that killed 00:20:05.049 --> 00:20:07.130 him. But it was in the amendment. He didn't die 00:20:07.130 --> 00:20:10.710 before recording tape 55. But it was in amendment 00:20:10.710 --> 00:20:13.130 56, which implies it wasn't there in amendment 00:20:13.130 --> 00:20:17.190 55. I think you both make excellent points. But 00:20:17.190 --> 00:20:18.809 no, I will say... No, pick a side. I think the 00:20:18.809 --> 00:20:21.190 amendment, he named the three of yous, and then 00:20:21.190 --> 00:20:24.529 reiterated a previous point, potentially. All 00:20:24.529 --> 00:20:27.890 right, I'll solve for that. See? Kid gloves. 00:20:28.230 --> 00:20:31.950 Kid gloves. Ah, Jesus, oh. Tis madness now. that 00:20:31.950 --> 00:20:33.569 he left all that stuff. And I'm not saying no 00:20:33.569 --> 00:20:36.809 to the cow, Gideon, I'm not. But it's already 00:20:36.809 --> 00:20:39.470 out the back. It's out the back? Well, of course 00:20:39.470 --> 00:20:41.950 it is. Postman brought that as well. Postman 00:20:41.950 --> 00:20:45.769 brought cow? He did. Postman brought cow? Do 00:20:45.769 --> 00:20:49.670 you want me to walk her in? Bring her in. Go 00:20:49.670 --> 00:20:52.049 get her. Hold on. No car in the place, but a 00:20:52.049 --> 00:20:57.309 cow's just fine. Yeah. Get your massive broochie. 00:20:57.490 --> 00:21:02.069 I've got to say, that is the cow. That is the 00:21:02.069 --> 00:21:05.109 most cowest of cows. She has gorgeous eyelashes. 00:21:05.910 --> 00:21:08.150 She's a fine creature. A fine creature. Do you 00:21:08.150 --> 00:21:10.730 have a name? Oh, you do have a name. Cow. Pretty 00:21:10.730 --> 00:21:12.970 boring, really, as far as it goes. You can rename 00:21:12.970 --> 00:21:14.410 her if you want. I don't give a shit. No, no, 00:21:14.470 --> 00:21:17.170 no, no. No swapsies. Name is name. Cow is cow. 00:21:17.950 --> 00:21:20.210 Name is name. Cow is cow. Name is name. Cow is 00:21:20.210 --> 00:21:23.069 cow. I like that. I like that as well. Well, 00:21:23.089 --> 00:21:25.289 listen, seeing as you're all here and dressed 00:21:25.289 --> 00:21:27.809 all sad, like, might be that there's no better 00:21:27.809 --> 00:21:30.359 time than the present. to officially welcome 00:21:30.359 --> 00:21:34.559 you is Knuckles and the OSNA. Here are your water 00:21:34.559 --> 00:21:37.519 -resistant jackets, your torches and your jotters. 00:21:37.900 --> 00:21:41.440 Use them wisely. You'll also find £2 coins each 00:21:41.440 --> 00:21:44.700 taped inside the jotters. You're welcome. That's 00:21:44.700 --> 00:21:46.779 a wee per diem. So it is for when you're out 00:21:46.779 --> 00:21:49.980 on missions. So we look after you lot. And yes, 00:21:50.099 --> 00:21:53.079 speaking of wee missions and sad clothes, the 00:21:53.079 --> 00:21:55.019 Clippers pulled up an obituary from last week 00:21:55.019 --> 00:21:58.180 for me. So a fella by the name of Mickey the 00:21:58.180 --> 00:22:02.279 Mackerel Mulcroon. Reason being, he was the pub 00:22:02.279 --> 00:22:05.079 landlord at a wee place called the Sea Signore. 00:22:05.299 --> 00:22:09.339 That's S -E -A. It's on the top of Big Cliff. 00:22:09.539 --> 00:22:11.440 You know Big Cliff? It's that wee town up the 00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:14.400 coast road. Know it well. Well, that whole place 00:22:14.400 --> 00:22:16.319 just sprung up around the pub when it opened. 00:22:16.539 --> 00:22:19.900 Lovely wee place. But no wonder. That wee spot 00:22:19.900 --> 00:22:22.809 does a wee lethal. Bubble oink and squeak. Oh, 00:22:22.890 --> 00:22:25.029 Jesus. Delicious. Delicious. And it's the only 00:22:25.029 --> 00:22:26.970 place that does my favourite drink, El Fuego 00:22:26.970 --> 00:22:29.930 Numero 8. So I went up yesterday to the place, 00:22:30.049 --> 00:22:32.390 and the hearse was still outside. And went up 00:22:32.390 --> 00:22:34.089 again this morning, and sure enough, the thing 00:22:34.089 --> 00:22:36.230 was still there. The funeral itself was meant 00:22:36.230 --> 00:22:38.750 to take place four days ago, but what's left 00:22:38.750 --> 00:22:40.950 of that body is still above ground. I'm sorry, 00:22:41.130 --> 00:22:44.029 what's left of him? Oh, wait till I tell you, 00:22:44.069 --> 00:22:47.390 right? So he was 92 years old, and the thing 00:22:47.390 --> 00:22:49.869 that killed him was a fallen Casio keyboard. 00:22:50.599 --> 00:22:53.119 It cut him in half like a sheet of glass in a 00:22:53.119 --> 00:22:56.000 horror film. The back half was just a write -off, 00:22:56.039 --> 00:22:59.380 smashed to absolute paste. But the front was 00:22:59.380 --> 00:23:01.460 surprisingly well -preserved, so they've seemingly 00:23:01.460 --> 00:23:04.319 just flapped that bit into a coffin. So it looks 00:23:04.319 --> 00:23:06.660 like he's lying real deep in it, but he's not. 00:23:06.759 --> 00:23:09.339 It's just half a man. Sorry, have you got a question? 00:23:10.039 --> 00:23:12.720 No, you clarified. Not the top half, the front. 00:23:13.319 --> 00:23:16.200 Yes, yeah, just schmeared the back right off 00:23:16.200 --> 00:23:19.619 him. Yeah, the keyboard just must have fallen 00:23:19.619 --> 00:23:22.619 with some speed. With a Casio? I know. They're 00:23:22.619 --> 00:23:24.759 chunky enough. They are big. The back of them's 00:23:24.759 --> 00:23:26.960 pretty flat. I'm assuming it was the rear side. 00:23:27.400 --> 00:23:28.900 Because the front, you'd be hit with all the 00:23:28.900 --> 00:23:31.180 keys and there'd be bumps. Makes you wish for 00:23:31.180 --> 00:23:34.059 a grand piano. Oh, the cow's drinking a pint. 00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:38.859 Ah, you're cheeky. So, now, that wasn't printed 00:23:38.859 --> 00:23:41.359 in the obituaries, just to be clear. Right. What 00:23:41.359 --> 00:23:44.180 did they say happened? In the obituary, because 00:23:44.180 --> 00:23:46.519 people will have seen half a body in a coffin. 00:23:47.680 --> 00:23:52.019 Well, no, it's a private function. So they just 00:23:52.019 --> 00:23:55.180 said that the family are accepting any gifts 00:23:55.180 --> 00:23:57.599 or donations of like flowers and all that sort 00:23:57.599 --> 00:23:59.480 of stuff. But they didn't really go into the 00:23:59.480 --> 00:24:01.359 details. They just said a bit about his achievements 00:24:01.359 --> 00:24:04.019 and the pub. Now, just so I'm crystal clear, 00:24:04.079 --> 00:24:07.440 because this is unusual. And in case of an open 00:24:07.440 --> 00:24:09.740 casket funeral, he would look just fine because 00:24:09.740 --> 00:24:13.660 you could only see the front part, right? I believe 00:24:13.660 --> 00:24:16.279 that's what they'd probably go with, aye. Okay, 00:24:16.359 --> 00:24:19.339 just so I visualise this correctly. Aye. If you 00:24:19.339 --> 00:24:22.220 imagine a normal open casket funeral and there's 00:24:22.220 --> 00:24:23.779 a body lying there, it would look exactly the 00:24:23.779 --> 00:24:27.460 same, but about three inches lower in the coffin. 00:24:27.900 --> 00:24:29.960 Gotcha. Maybe they propped him up. I don't know. 00:24:30.079 --> 00:24:33.859 I couldn't get in. You tried? No, I'm not going 00:24:33.859 --> 00:24:36.759 to go gatecrashing awake. On that note, though... 00:24:37.549 --> 00:24:40.569 I wouldn't mind if you lot did. Because it's 00:24:40.569 --> 00:24:43.750 been a few days. It's weird, right? I wanted 00:24:43.750 --> 00:24:45.970 to take my wife there and I couldn't get in. 00:24:46.029 --> 00:24:47.549 And I can't go knocking on the door. They know 00:24:47.549 --> 00:24:49.549 me there. They'd be like, he's here for the bubble 00:24:49.549 --> 00:24:53.009 oink and squeak and a big old drink. So I think 00:24:53.009 --> 00:24:56.230 it needs a wee bit of a softer touch. So if you 00:24:56.230 --> 00:24:59.309 could get out to Big Cliff and get into that 00:24:59.309 --> 00:25:01.670 wake and just find out what the hell's taking 00:25:01.670 --> 00:25:04.390 them so long. I haven't had an El Fuego numero 00:25:04.390 --> 00:25:06.990 8 in over a week. I've got a wee itch to scratch. 00:25:07.519 --> 00:25:10.619 Is this supernatural or you just want a drink? 00:25:10.839 --> 00:25:15.440 All I'm saying is that's weird. And my wife and 00:25:15.440 --> 00:25:18.140 I missed date night. So I wouldn't mind taking... 00:25:18.140 --> 00:25:20.500 Yeah, right. Took her there on our first date. 00:25:20.839 --> 00:25:23.240 Split a big double portion. It was lovely. They'd 00:25:23.240 --> 00:25:25.059 bring it out in a big plate, set it right in 00:25:25.059 --> 00:25:26.460 the middle of the table and just give you one 00:25:26.460 --> 00:25:28.180 spoon and you pass it back and forth between 00:25:28.180 --> 00:25:30.500 you. Romantic. Lengthwise. Thank you. Lengthwise. 00:25:30.759 --> 00:25:33.619 Oh, not to be a pedant, and obviously it's a 00:25:33.619 --> 00:25:36.200 sad time generally, but double portion that you 00:25:36.200 --> 00:25:39.640 split. So that's just two portions. But it's 00:25:39.640 --> 00:25:41.359 on one plate. But it's on one plate. They gave 00:25:41.359 --> 00:25:44.019 you less cutlery, so it was a split of all. Yes. 00:25:44.440 --> 00:25:47.119 That is intimate. Yeah. You lady and the trumpet. 00:25:47.480 --> 00:25:50.319 Now, I normally say to new recruits, most things 00:25:50.319 --> 00:25:52.319 are a bust. You know, just don't worry. Nine 00:25:52.319 --> 00:25:55.359 out of ten, nothing weird's happening. You had 00:25:55.359 --> 00:25:58.660 a bad start, and I'm sorry. Rest in peace. But 00:25:58.660 --> 00:26:04.059 this one will be fine. It'll be fine. Convince 00:26:04.059 --> 00:26:08.799 us. That'll be grand. A man's died. Look, anything 00:26:08.799 --> 00:26:12.000 to get out of this. Dreary. No offence. It's 00:26:12.000 --> 00:26:17.319 just the mood is sad and grieving. I just, I 00:26:17.319 --> 00:26:18.880 want to go to the beach. All right, snakes and 00:26:18.880 --> 00:26:22.640 ladders. Well, we're going to a wake. Yeah, I... 00:26:22.640 --> 00:26:26.539 We will be going from a Finnish funeral to one 00:26:26.539 --> 00:26:29.759 that's ramping up. Ramping up for the big Finnish. 00:26:30.079 --> 00:26:32.000 Assumpta, can we leave the car here? Can you 00:26:32.000 --> 00:26:34.759 leave the car here? Are you making us bring the 00:26:34.759 --> 00:26:37.019 cow to... I'm not making you do a damn thing. 00:26:37.500 --> 00:26:39.819 If you want to leave the cow here... Where do 00:26:39.819 --> 00:26:41.000 you want to go, cow? It's nice that you asked, 00:26:41.019 --> 00:26:43.880 Matty. It'll be ten pounds. That's fair. We only 00:26:43.880 --> 00:26:46.519 have six pound between us. You're going to have 00:26:46.519 --> 00:26:48.619 to give us a raise. Looks like you're taking 00:26:48.619 --> 00:26:52.099 a cow to the beach. All right, cow. Come on. 00:26:52.960 --> 00:26:59.200 Follow the pound. Exiting the town of Rathgool, 00:26:59.319 --> 00:27:01.819 the density of houses begins to dwindle. as you 00:27:01.819 --> 00:27:04.759 slowly venture towards the ocean. The smell of 00:27:04.759 --> 00:27:07.380 salt permeates your nostrils as the sound of 00:27:07.380 --> 00:27:10.240 seagulls and crashing waves fill your ears. It 00:27:10.240 --> 00:27:13.279 sounds like you're approaching Port Rush. You 00:27:13.279 --> 00:27:15.440 travel along the coast road for about 20 minutes 00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:18.200 before seeing a beach in the near distance, stretching 00:27:18.200 --> 00:27:20.759 off to the left and right and flanked by modest 00:27:20.759 --> 00:27:23.740 cliffs. Resting upon the top of the tallest cliff 00:27:23.740 --> 00:27:26.180 to the left there is a lonely turquoise -blue 00:27:26.180 --> 00:27:29.279 building overlooking the sand, the Sea Signore. 00:27:31.279 --> 00:27:33.920 The main road turns right into a winding trail 00:27:33.920 --> 00:27:36.140 of that sandy grass that you're allowed to drive 00:27:36.140 --> 00:27:39.359 on and it leads up towards the structure. Outside 00:27:39.359 --> 00:27:42.279 you see several parked cars as well as a hearse. 00:27:42.779 --> 00:27:45.599 Chipping paint reveals the render beneath with 00:27:45.599 --> 00:27:47.859 various shades of old blue paint peeking out. 00:27:48.119 --> 00:27:50.500 The building sits quite literally on the edge 00:27:50.500 --> 00:27:53.440 of a small cliff face, its back caked in salt. 00:27:55.579 --> 00:27:57.539 Getting out of your car, you see a beautiful 00:27:57.539 --> 00:28:00.180 view of the town of Big Cliff and its surrounding 00:28:00.180 --> 00:28:03.480 landscape. The town is hugged by flatlands and 00:28:03.480 --> 00:28:05.880 the sun is high in the sky, shining brightly 00:28:05.880 --> 00:28:08.920 upon the buildings. It's like Postman Pat. The 00:28:08.920 --> 00:28:10.900 thought of Postman Pat reminds you of Clary. 00:28:11.240 --> 00:28:13.640 In fact, the sight of the hearse, the funeral 00:28:13.640 --> 00:28:15.279 clothes you're wearing and the fact that you've 00:28:15.279 --> 00:28:17.559 come from his memorial all remind you of your 00:28:17.559 --> 00:28:21.019 friend Clary. That probably makes you sad. You 00:28:21.019 --> 00:28:23.099 also notice now that the wind is sharper up here, 00:28:23.140 --> 00:28:25.259 and that despite the picturesque vision of Big 00:28:25.259 --> 00:28:27.740 Cliff below, there are, both figuratively and 00:28:27.740 --> 00:28:31.440 literally, dark clouds hanging overhead. The 00:28:31.440 --> 00:28:33.519 pub is wide and stubby, with a substantially 00:28:33.519 --> 00:28:36.000 sized ground floor level, and a smaller second 00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:38.299 floor. That's the first floor for any Americans 00:28:38.299 --> 00:28:41.240 in the room. By the front door, you see a chalkboard, 00:28:41.380 --> 00:28:44.460 which reads, Waking the Mackerel, by invite only. 00:28:44.640 --> 00:28:47.710 What does that mean? Waking the mackerel. He 00:28:47.710 --> 00:28:49.650 was called Mickey the mackerel. I know that, 00:28:49.730 --> 00:28:52.750 but it's not Mickey the mackerel's wake. It's 00:28:52.750 --> 00:28:55.829 waking the mackerel. I swear to God, if they've 00:28:55.829 --> 00:28:59.809 sent us on another hocus pocus, I don't want 00:28:59.809 --> 00:29:01.609 to kill either one of you. I don't want it to 00:29:01.609 --> 00:29:03.769 happen again. Who said that we were going to 00:29:03.769 --> 00:29:06.730 be the ones dying, Gideon? Don't amputate anymore. 00:29:07.089 --> 00:29:09.630 Let's have a heart rule. No more amputations. 00:29:09.730 --> 00:29:11.710 Aim for a worm, not for a friend. If it comes 00:29:11.710 --> 00:29:14.730 down to it, you need to kill me. And if I die... 00:29:15.019 --> 00:29:18.180 Dolan, you take care of Kai. We all agree this 00:29:18.180 --> 00:29:21.799 Kai lives, right? Hands in. None of us were going 00:29:21.799 --> 00:29:24.140 to kill the cow. Yeah, I'm not doing a hands 00:29:24.140 --> 00:29:28.119 in, but I agree. The Kai lives. Say it. The Kai 00:29:28.119 --> 00:29:32.920 lives. Ideally, no death, but if death, not Kai 00:29:32.920 --> 00:29:35.920 death. Well, no, hold on. If death, cow death. 00:29:36.119 --> 00:29:39.579 If death, if the option is one of us has to die 00:29:39.579 --> 00:29:42.400 and the cow is included in that. only a few days 00:29:42.400 --> 00:29:46.819 ago, trusted us with so many of his things so 00:29:46.819 --> 00:29:49.420 that that would live on, his legacy would live 00:29:49.420 --> 00:29:51.140 on. So if I'm in a situation where I have to 00:29:51.140 --> 00:29:52.680 pick between you and the cow, you want me to 00:29:52.680 --> 00:29:55.059 pick the cow? Okay, when you put it like that. 00:29:55.240 --> 00:29:59.380 Yeah, that's how I'm putting it. Like, cut off 00:29:59.380 --> 00:30:01.859 my arm, you know? I can take it a bit better 00:30:01.859 --> 00:30:03.359 than him. So if it's between cutting off your 00:30:03.359 --> 00:30:05.460 arm or one of the cow's legs, I should go for 00:30:05.460 --> 00:30:09.400 your arm? Yes, that's fine. I'm sorry, Kai. You 00:30:09.400 --> 00:30:11.460 come to us at a difficult time in our lives and... 00:30:11.460 --> 00:30:17.099 We're going to have a big family of bereaved 00:30:17.099 --> 00:30:18.960 creatures. Anyway, listen, I'm going inside. 00:30:19.119 --> 00:30:20.839 We're all in the perfect disguise, so hopefully 00:30:20.839 --> 00:30:23.480 we won't need a cover story. Right? Is there 00:30:23.480 --> 00:30:26.160 a chance that I, in fact, know who he is? That 00:30:26.160 --> 00:30:28.880 I've taken my kids here on beach holidays and 00:30:28.880 --> 00:30:32.339 would have come across him? Yes, actually. That 00:30:32.339 --> 00:30:36.220 is an excellent question. Now... You're a very 00:30:36.220 --> 00:30:38.000 good father, I'm assuming, so you probably take 00:30:38.000 --> 00:30:40.240 your kids all over the place. You mightn't remember 00:30:40.240 --> 00:30:44.019 everywhere, so give us a wee roll. But I'd say 00:30:44.019 --> 00:30:48.200 you need under 80. Under 80? Okay, that seems 00:30:48.200 --> 00:30:50.019 very doable. That's an easy luck roll. Let's 00:30:50.019 --> 00:30:57.400 begin how we want to end. Oh, 18. You have indeed 00:30:57.400 --> 00:31:00.079 been to this place. It's a lovely wee spot. Mickey, 00:31:00.220 --> 00:31:02.500 he was always there in the bar, and he has looked 00:31:02.500 --> 00:31:04.900 about. 80 or 90, for as long as you remember. 00:31:05.119 --> 00:31:08.279 Like, he's an old dad. You've been here? Yeah, 00:31:08.299 --> 00:31:10.599 I actually know this man, yeah. Oh, shit. You 00:31:10.599 --> 00:31:12.640 should take the lead then. Regular customer. 00:31:12.920 --> 00:31:19.019 Well, he's not here. Yeah. Rest in peace. But... 00:31:19.019 --> 00:31:20.839 Yeah, no, but I would have a reason to be at 00:31:20.839 --> 00:31:22.960 this gig. Yeah, of course. I'll just say I was... 00:31:23.440 --> 00:31:26.559 I was showing you two around. I was going to 00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:28.779 stop by the pub and I saw the sign and I wanted 00:31:28.779 --> 00:31:30.700 to pay my respects. The cow needed a comfort 00:31:30.700 --> 00:31:33.160 break. The cow... And we needed to pull it somewhere. 00:31:33.359 --> 00:31:35.039 We're not bringing the cow in, but... We can 00:31:35.039 --> 00:31:37.240 allude to the cow. I think we're going to have 00:31:37.240 --> 00:31:39.119 to allude to the cow. The cow is... It'll give 00:31:39.119 --> 00:31:41.680 us an air of mystique. Hey, have a look at our 00:31:41.680 --> 00:31:44.599 cow. They're called cow. I feel like I had such 00:31:44.599 --> 00:31:47.420 a good cover story that worked so well and I 00:31:47.420 --> 00:31:49.839 don't know why we're... I don't know why we're 00:31:49.839 --> 00:31:52.910 changing it. I have a legitimate reason to be 00:31:52.910 --> 00:31:55.329 here. We're just expanding on it. To be honest, 00:31:55.390 --> 00:31:57.809 I wouldn't mind paying my respects. Why else 00:31:57.809 --> 00:32:01.130 would you be showing me and Gideon around where 00:32:01.130 --> 00:32:04.049 you used to bring your kids? You're just guests 00:32:04.049 --> 00:32:06.410 and I brought you on a beach trip. Yeah, but 00:32:06.410 --> 00:32:08.009 then how do we know each other, you know? Then 00:32:08.009 --> 00:32:10.569 there's so much more questions. The car brings 00:32:10.569 --> 00:32:14.009 us all together. Don't I need a car? It's been 00:32:14.009 --> 00:32:15.970 a long week. I found out the supernatural is 00:32:15.970 --> 00:32:19.250 real. I watched a man die and I feel like... 00:32:20.269 --> 00:32:22.269 If we don't take care of this, no one will, and 00:32:22.269 --> 00:32:25.789 that's been very disturbing to me. Yeah, we're 00:32:25.789 --> 00:32:27.269 going to take care of it. All right, folks, get 00:32:27.269 --> 00:32:29.849 your game faces on, look sad. Cow, eat grass. 00:32:31.029 --> 00:32:34.369 You enter into a cosy, but not small, pub. As 00:32:34.369 --> 00:32:36.250 you walk through the front door, you immediately 00:32:36.250 --> 00:32:39.329 see in front of you a solid marble bar, light 00:32:39.329 --> 00:32:41.710 aquatic blue in colour, kind of like a swimmer's, 00:32:41.809 --> 00:32:44.710 with veins of gold running through it. The top 00:32:44.710 --> 00:32:47.509 is a dark walnut brown and shows its age through 00:32:47.509 --> 00:32:50.009 various chips, scratches and a bunch of those 00:32:50.009 --> 00:32:52.470 S's that people used to do in school carved right 00:32:52.470 --> 00:32:55.329 into the wood. Behind the bar stands a woman 00:32:55.329 --> 00:32:57.549 of around 90 years old cleaning some glasses. 00:32:57.930 --> 00:33:00.130 The door behind the bar looks like it leads off 00:33:00.130 --> 00:33:02.170 into a kitchen. I'm going to go to the bar and 00:33:02.170 --> 00:33:04.329 get a drink. Do I see like the widow or anything 00:33:04.329 --> 00:33:08.369 like that? You do. And as you hear Gideon say, 00:33:08.529 --> 00:33:10.789 I'm heading to the bar, you notice that it is 00:33:10.789 --> 00:33:15.019 the widow herself behind the bar. I'm so sorry 00:33:15.019 --> 00:33:18.140 for your loss. I just wanted to pay my condolences. 00:33:19.079 --> 00:33:25.579 Oh, that's very, very kind of you. Of course, 00:33:25.579 --> 00:33:33.140 it's a sad day. A sad, sad day. It really is. 00:33:33.240 --> 00:33:35.119 I doubt you remember me. I used to come here 00:33:35.119 --> 00:33:37.880 a lot, bring my family to the beach. Of course, 00:33:37.880 --> 00:33:42.619 we have many, many regulars that have come to 00:33:42.619 --> 00:33:45.559 the bar and... I'm afraid to say no. I have no 00:33:45.559 --> 00:33:48.880 idea who you are. What's your name? Oh, it's 00:33:48.880 --> 00:33:53.259 Dolan. Been a wee while, but I was younger. Had 00:33:53.259 --> 00:33:55.700 a wee kid. Didn't really like the beach, so the 00:33:55.700 --> 00:33:58.619 two of us snuck down here. And I'll tell you 00:33:58.619 --> 00:34:01.099 what. For an old pint. For an old pint. And I 00:34:01.099 --> 00:34:03.180 thought Mickey was good cracky. Tried to teach 00:34:03.180 --> 00:34:07.380 him how to play pool. Jamie was useless. I'm 00:34:07.380 --> 00:34:13.039 sure. I'm sure Mickey was dreadful himself. Gods. 00:34:13.320 --> 00:34:18.139 Oh, yeah, a game would take hours. And will you 00:34:18.139 --> 00:34:20.260 have a little pint yourself now? Oh, of course, 00:34:20.360 --> 00:34:22.820 of course. At El Fuego Numerate, I'll get a big 00:34:22.820 --> 00:34:26.639 fish glass. As this old lady heads towards, like, 00:34:26.639 --> 00:34:29.500 under the bar to grab that glass, this whole 00:34:29.500 --> 00:34:32.199 time she's been just sort of cleaning away. You 00:34:32.199 --> 00:34:34.639 know, like, wee bar tasks, cleaning other glasses, 00:34:34.679 --> 00:34:36.519 opening the till, giving things a wee wipe. The 00:34:36.519 --> 00:34:38.420 woman herself, by the way, she's short, quite 00:34:38.420 --> 00:34:41.400 stout and powerful looking. Quite. Thick and 00:34:41.400 --> 00:34:43.920 luxurious hair for a woman of her age. More charcoal 00:34:43.920 --> 00:34:46.059 than true grey. But it's cropped real short, 00:34:46.139 --> 00:34:48.840 just below her ears. And she wears a worn leather 00:34:48.840 --> 00:34:51.880 Stetson. There's a wee TV, a little box TV, mounted 00:34:51.880 --> 00:34:54.139 on the wall, on top of a wee VHS player above 00:34:54.139 --> 00:34:55.800 you. There's an episode of Countdown playing 00:34:55.800 --> 00:35:04.739 on it. There you are there, Dolan. A big old 00:35:04.739 --> 00:35:10.380 El Fuego numero 8. That will be two pounds. Have 00:35:10.380 --> 00:35:15.900 we missed the conundrum? I'm sorry? I'm so sorry 00:35:15.900 --> 00:35:18.659 for your loss. I'm not a regular. Have we missed 00:35:18.659 --> 00:35:21.099 the conundrum? Like, how far through the episode 00:35:21.099 --> 00:35:27.280 of Countdown? Oh, that. Believe it or not, it's 00:35:27.280 --> 00:35:31.780 a tape. No way. I could rewind it if you'd like. 00:35:31.980 --> 00:35:35.460 No, it's quite all right. You're a fan, or he 00:35:35.460 --> 00:35:42.210 was? Mickey, he loved it. Truth be told, he loved 00:35:42.210 --> 00:35:46.230 this episode so much. Sure, he'd play it often 00:35:46.230 --> 00:35:49.710 when a new face would come into the bar. And 00:35:49.710 --> 00:35:52.329 sure, he'd know the answers. That would make 00:35:52.329 --> 00:35:54.829 him look mad smart. That's very smart. That's 00:35:54.829 --> 00:35:59.170 very good. I should do that with Sudokus. You're 00:35:59.170 --> 00:36:05.190 a puzzle fan, are you? Amateur. Hobbyist. but 00:36:05.190 --> 00:36:07.670 I suppose that's very much the way with puzzles. 00:36:07.829 --> 00:36:10.429 Sure, listen, there's no money in it. There's 00:36:10.429 --> 00:36:13.610 no money in it. You're quite right. Well, tell 00:36:13.610 --> 00:36:16.769 that to Carol, eh? That's what Mickey would tell 00:36:16.769 --> 00:36:19.389 me anyway. An el fuego numero 8 for you also. 00:36:19.570 --> 00:36:21.710 Yes, please. Go on then, go on yourself. And 00:36:21.710 --> 00:36:24.289 is that a drink that is bespoke to here, or? 00:36:24.630 --> 00:36:26.989 There's not another bar in the world that serves 00:36:26.989 --> 00:36:30.730 an el fuego numero 8. Just ourselves, coined 00:36:30.730 --> 00:36:35.070 right here, at the Sea Signor. Half a drop of 00:36:35.070 --> 00:36:39.289 Diet Coke there. And half a lark. Like a big 00:36:39.289 --> 00:36:43.309 brown shandy. Lovely. That'll be two pounds. 00:36:44.230 --> 00:36:47.809 Yep. Gideon, you owned me a drink, didn't you? 00:36:47.909 --> 00:36:50.730 I'm sorry for your loss. Here's four pounds. 00:36:50.909 --> 00:36:54.809 Take two El Fuego Numerates, please. One for 00:36:54.809 --> 00:36:58.230 yourself, of course. Thanks. Did Mickey invent 00:36:58.230 --> 00:37:01.969 this? It was himself and some of the other lads. 00:37:01.989 --> 00:37:05.030 They came up with the drink. The fella by the 00:37:05.030 --> 00:37:09.170 name of Skinny. God rest him, gone now. 13 years 00:37:09.170 --> 00:37:13.429 or so. And another chap of Samuel, but sure. 00:37:15.250 --> 00:37:17.869 The least we say about him, the better. These 00:37:17.869 --> 00:37:21.090 drinks are certainly fizzy. You're depth charging 00:37:21.090 --> 00:37:23.250 a bunch of Diet Coke straight into a load of 00:37:23.250 --> 00:37:24.849 lager, so she has to let it settle for a wee 00:37:24.849 --> 00:37:27.570 bit and then top it up like a Guinness. So while 00:37:27.570 --> 00:37:29.650 you're chatting, can I get a little awareness 00:37:29.650 --> 00:37:35.239 roll from you? 51 over 20, it's a fail. 99. I've 00:37:35.239 --> 00:37:40.159 got 32 under 60. Nolan, now while those pints 00:37:40.159 --> 00:37:42.699 are settling, she went back to her little route 00:37:42.699 --> 00:37:46.079 and, you know, she's like picking up wee, wee 00:37:46.079 --> 00:37:47.820 glasses, giving it a clean, setting it down, 00:37:47.940 --> 00:37:50.860 going and checking the till. She like picks up 00:37:50.860 --> 00:37:52.780 the remote and turns on the TV. But in between 00:37:52.780 --> 00:37:56.559 all of those things, she keeps like... playing 00:37:56.559 --> 00:37:59.599 with a different picture, and it's hanging between 00:37:59.599 --> 00:38:02.760 two of the optics, and it shows her and Mickey 00:38:02.760 --> 00:38:05.099 outside the pub. But she keeps sort of lifting 00:38:05.099 --> 00:38:07.019 it down, giving it a wee clean, popping it back 00:38:07.019 --> 00:38:09.179 up, and just making sure to square it up neatly 00:38:09.179 --> 00:38:12.260 each time. I will also say that while you're 00:38:12.260 --> 00:38:14.920 looking up there, you've been here before, and 00:38:14.920 --> 00:38:17.820 you go, I'm sure it's this place. You see a wee 00:38:17.820 --> 00:38:20.219 framed newspaper as well. So there's a newspaper 00:38:20.219 --> 00:38:23.079 cut out with a picture of young Mickey and his 00:38:23.079 --> 00:38:26.429 two mates, Skinny and Samuel. from about 50 years 00:38:26.429 --> 00:38:30.590 ago. And they're holding fistfuls of Aztec gold. 00:38:30.750 --> 00:38:32.650 And there's a headline that reads, Fishermen 00:38:32.650 --> 00:38:35.670 missing for two months, wash up with Aztec gold. 00:38:36.010 --> 00:38:40.889 That must be a picture. Of Mickey and myself. 00:38:41.409 --> 00:38:44.550 It's a lovely picture. Thank you. Precious memory 00:38:44.550 --> 00:38:52.190 moment. Believe it or not, despite how well... 00:38:52.360 --> 00:38:55.639 We still look. That photo's over 30 years old. 00:38:55.980 --> 00:38:59.780 No. Believe it or not. Yes, indeed. I mean, you 00:38:59.780 --> 00:39:03.099 still look like that. You're awfully kind, Dolan. 00:39:03.139 --> 00:39:05.739 Me and Gideon are having like little whispery 00:39:05.739 --> 00:39:09.320 comments of like, he is barely dead and he is 00:39:09.320 --> 00:39:12.539 after her immediately. He is married. Do we know 00:39:12.539 --> 00:39:15.900 that his wife... Does he have a wife? Does he 00:39:15.900 --> 00:39:18.940 have a wife? Keep it down, he'll hear us. Well, 00:39:18.940 --> 00:39:22.090 uh... It's awfully kind for all of you to come. 00:39:22.130 --> 00:39:28.389 How did you know my mackerel? Your names, sorry? 00:39:28.610 --> 00:39:32.550 This is Maddy. I'm Maddy. Nice to meet you, Maddy. 00:39:32.610 --> 00:39:37.050 This is Gideon. I'm Gideon. We were actually 00:39:37.050 --> 00:39:41.869 out awake earlier today as well. I was showing 00:39:41.869 --> 00:39:44.289 him around and I thought... My God. I actually 00:39:44.289 --> 00:39:46.230 thought coming here might take your mind off 00:39:46.230 --> 00:39:50.599 it, but... Of course. It's been a fortunate time 00:39:50.599 --> 00:39:53.960 for all of us, I suppose. It is dreadful, dreadful, 00:39:53.960 --> 00:39:57.039 dreadful thing. The cruel hand of fate and death. 00:39:58.519 --> 00:40:02.239 Sorry, what was your name? My name is Eloise. 00:40:02.659 --> 00:40:05.780 Eloise Mulcrone. Nice to meet you properly, Eloise. 00:40:06.039 --> 00:40:08.579 Sorry that it's under these circumstances. Remember 00:40:08.579 --> 00:40:13.760 the mackerel well and drink fast the alfuego 00:40:13.760 --> 00:40:19.019 numero eight. In his memory. Eloise, sorry, is 00:40:19.019 --> 00:40:23.739 this a private event or can we perch up? We can 00:40:23.739 --> 00:40:25.960 be very quiet, we can make ourselves very discreet, 00:40:25.980 --> 00:40:29.519 but obviously it's a very private event. Well, 00:40:29.539 --> 00:40:32.639 of course, we're... You know, we've been here 00:40:32.639 --> 00:40:35.019 for a few hours now and there's room here at 00:40:35.019 --> 00:40:38.219 the bar for folks that knew Mickey and, well, 00:40:38.260 --> 00:40:42.440 I suppose on this occasion, folks that know folks 00:40:42.440 --> 00:40:48.269 who knew Mickey. I'd say... You're welcome here, 00:40:48.409 --> 00:40:51.349 so long as you're drinking. That's very kind 00:40:51.349 --> 00:40:55.690 of you. Thank you. Thank you. We should go and 00:40:55.690 --> 00:40:58.789 pay respects. And Gideon starts walking towards 00:40:58.789 --> 00:41:03.070 the casket. You walk your way over to the casket, 00:41:03.170 --> 00:41:06.030 and sure enough, that front half of that man 00:41:06.030 --> 00:41:09.610 looks pristine. Whatever undertaker was onto 00:41:09.610 --> 00:41:12.289 him like he did some job, but he does look like 00:41:12.289 --> 00:41:14.309 he's lying quite deep in that coffin. We should 00:41:14.309 --> 00:41:18.389 have got this guy for Clary. Gideon. I'm not 00:41:18.389 --> 00:41:20.989 quite at the stage of grief that you are yet. 00:41:21.929 --> 00:41:29.170 Be gentle with me. I'm sorry. Thanks. Dolan? 00:41:29.389 --> 00:41:32.329 How you doing? Yeah, are you also grieving, Clary, 00:41:32.389 --> 00:41:34.210 or is it just me? Have I forgotten about this? 00:41:34.309 --> 00:41:36.050 Am I the only person that hasn't forgotten about 00:41:36.050 --> 00:41:39.550 this man? This might sound a little bit cruel, 00:41:39.670 --> 00:41:41.750 but he was such an odd man that it hasn't quite 00:41:41.750 --> 00:41:44.929 sunk into me that he's dead. He does feel a little 00:41:44.929 --> 00:41:47.010 bit like a figment of my imagination. It's fresh. 00:41:47.250 --> 00:41:50.670 Yeah, I understand. The cow doesn't help the 00:41:50.670 --> 00:41:53.070 situation, nor do the milkman who showed up at 00:41:53.070 --> 00:41:56.750 the wake. All in all, this still feels a bit 00:41:56.750 --> 00:42:01.590 surreal. Can I tell you something? Yeah. If a 00:42:01.590 --> 00:42:05.869 week ago, or eight days ago, I'd met Clary and 00:42:05.869 --> 00:42:10.550 he died, I'd probably be a lot sadder. I'd assume 00:42:10.550 --> 00:42:14.449 he's totally gone. But since... then we know 00:42:14.449 --> 00:42:19.530 now that things aren't as normal. We saw a worm, 00:42:19.710 --> 00:42:23.349 a giant demon worm. You think he's going to come 00:42:23.349 --> 00:42:25.010 back as a worm? No, I don't think he's going 00:42:25.010 --> 00:42:26.369 to come back as a worm, but I just mean that 00:42:26.369 --> 00:42:27.610 things aren't as clear. You don't think he's 00:42:27.610 --> 00:42:30.829 coming back as the kai? No, no. Keep your voices 00:42:30.829 --> 00:42:33.429 down. I just mean that things aren't as certain 00:42:33.429 --> 00:42:36.530 as they used to be. I understand, but it sounds 00:42:36.530 --> 00:42:38.929 like you're at the bargaining stage of grief 00:42:38.929 --> 00:42:41.909 right now. Exactly. Thank you, Dolan. Thank you. 00:42:42.699 --> 00:42:46.219 I'm just glad I have a support animal. Condiment. 00:42:46.420 --> 00:42:50.980 Sorry, the conundrum. Next time in The Bad Articles. 00:42:51.079 --> 00:42:54.079 Join our knuckles as they drink pints at a wake. 00:42:54.239 --> 00:42:57.039 I wonder if Dolan can contain a sexual charisma. 00:42:57.260 --> 00:43:00.260 The Bad Articles is created by J .R. McCormick 00:43:00.260 --> 00:43:03.420 and Aidan Kelly. It is produced at Felbryn Studios 00:43:03.420 --> 00:43:05.719 by the wonderful Clark Phillips with additional 00:43:05.719 --> 00:43:09.559 sounds and voices from Conleth McVeigh. Starring 00:43:09.559 --> 00:43:13.880 Laura Conlon. Patrick Meier and Niall McKenna.