WEBVTT 00:00:00.040 --> 00:00:03.379 Last time on The Bad Articles, our new recruits 00:00:03.379 --> 00:00:05.980 broke into some lad's house and stole a wee robot. 00:00:06.360 --> 00:00:09.560 Stick around to find out what happens next, unless 00:00:09.560 --> 00:00:13.419 you're a coward. Since the dawn of time, Ireland 00:00:13.419 --> 00:00:17.199 has played host to unimaginable horrors, ushered 00:00:17.199 --> 00:00:19.339 in through an ever -weakening veil between our 00:00:19.339 --> 00:00:22.539 world and the other side. They live among us, 00:00:22.660 --> 00:00:27.839 shaping our mythology, sowing chaos, scaring 00:00:27.839 --> 00:00:31.070 the shit out of people. Not all hope is lost. 00:00:31.870 --> 00:00:34.250 Underfunded, undergunned and underappreciated, 00:00:34.350 --> 00:00:37.390 the OSNA stand proudly in the way of unchecked, 00:00:37.390 --> 00:00:40.429 otherworldly chaos. This secret network of brave 00:00:40.429 --> 00:00:43.329 volunteers put their lives and their sanity on 00:00:43.329 --> 00:00:46.280 the line, all for a better tomorrow. Have you 00:00:46.280 --> 00:00:48.079 ever been at a family wedding and you bump into 00:00:48.079 --> 00:00:50.020 an uncle you haven't seen in ages and he spent 00:00:50.020 --> 00:00:51.719 all night chatting the air off you and buying 00:00:51.719 --> 00:00:53.479 you a rake of pints and stuff and he even did 00:00:53.479 --> 00:00:55.380 a speech at the dinner? Class crack altogether. 00:00:55.719 --> 00:00:57.619 But then you got home and thought, how long? 00:00:57.759 --> 00:01:00.159 He died six years ago. Sure I was at the funeral. 00:01:01.500 --> 00:01:04.840 You better call the OSNA before you find yourself 00:01:04.840 --> 00:01:09.239 in the bad articles. It's the following morning 00:01:09.239 --> 00:01:11.680 and it's a crisp one here in Spurs Hollow. Not 00:01:11.680 --> 00:01:14.689 too cold. Fallen leaves of brown, orange and 00:01:14.689 --> 00:01:17.349 red adorn the cobbled streets, and a light wind 00:01:17.349 --> 00:01:19.390 coaxes them gently towards the centre of town. 00:01:19.790 --> 00:01:22.849 There we see a bustling market fair, full with 00:01:22.849 --> 00:01:26.230 food stalls, local crafts, games and entertainment. 00:01:26.510 --> 00:01:30.150 We see our agents. huddling around, holding this 00:01:30.150 --> 00:01:32.329 book that Lenny had given him. They've got it 00:01:32.329 --> 00:01:34.329 open on the page that he said was the ritual 00:01:34.329 --> 00:01:36.670 they did. And it's like a mixture. There is some 00:01:36.670 --> 00:01:38.549 Ogham stuff there, but there's also a bunch of 00:01:38.549 --> 00:01:40.870 Irish. And there's a big drawing that just looks 00:01:40.870 --> 00:01:43.010 like a big circle with jagged points that are 00:01:43.010 --> 00:01:46.290 all pointing towards the centre. What do yous 00:01:46.290 --> 00:01:48.829 want to do? There's loads of people here. And 00:01:48.829 --> 00:01:50.829 you've got some ritual that you don't understand. 00:01:51.890 --> 00:01:56.200 Clary is talking to a hot dog vendor. He's near 00:01:56.200 --> 00:01:58.640 the end of his conversation, but he's just like, 00:01:58.780 --> 00:02:01.459 and you know, so I asked Margaret for a sign. 00:02:01.640 --> 00:02:04.959 And then Derek came out with a shotgun. So I 00:02:04.959 --> 00:02:06.879 don't know, maybe that was her sign saying that 00:02:06.879 --> 00:02:10.180 the father of the boy did come out. So that's 00:02:10.180 --> 00:02:11.960 all I'm saying is like, maybe, you know what? 00:02:12.620 --> 00:02:14.680 Asked the spirit word for a sign and a man comes 00:02:14.680 --> 00:02:16.699 out with a shotgun. Maybe he is the true father 00:02:16.699 --> 00:02:19.759 of the wee boy. Do you mean Dacky? I mean Derek, 00:02:19.879 --> 00:02:24.000 aye. Derek McAnally. It's Dacky. It's Dacky McAnally. 00:02:24.640 --> 00:02:27.479 With the turnips? Aye. Aye, is it? Oh, I've been 00:02:27.479 --> 00:02:30.099 calling him Derek this whole time. No, no, it's 00:02:30.099 --> 00:02:31.900 definitely Dacky. Like, he's lived here his whole 00:02:31.900 --> 00:02:34.280 life. Aye, no, well, I'm not disputing you. You 00:02:34.280 --> 00:02:36.319 seem to know him, so... I don't know him that 00:02:36.319 --> 00:02:38.159 well. I'm just trying to... Well, I know him 00:02:38.159 --> 00:02:40.680 from the bottom down, let me tell you that. But, 00:02:40.800 --> 00:02:48.199 uh... I'm not going to touch that. He ran out 00:02:48.199 --> 00:02:50.939 swinging a blade with not only a shotgun, let 00:02:50.939 --> 00:02:58.250 me tell you. Who are you? Oh, sorry, did I not 00:02:58.250 --> 00:03:00.509 introduce myself? Clary Pussman, I'm the milkman. 00:03:01.469 --> 00:03:03.710 Our milkman? You're not my milkman? No, I'm a 00:03:03.710 --> 00:03:06.669 milkman, but I'm the milkman too. You can be 00:03:06.669 --> 00:03:08.849 a and the milkman, I'm just... That's ominous, 00:03:08.849 --> 00:03:11.650 I don't like it. No, I'm sorry, that's fine. 00:03:11.810 --> 00:03:14.509 I was just sorry to unload on you there, but... 00:03:14.509 --> 00:03:17.849 What do you want on your hot dog? I haven't decided 00:03:17.849 --> 00:03:24.979 yet. So I think that the... This symbol, it looks 00:03:24.979 --> 00:03:26.400 pretty bad. It looks pretty ominous. It looks 00:03:26.400 --> 00:03:29.659 spiky and fearful. What do you think? Yeah, it 00:03:29.659 --> 00:03:32.479 does. To me, it almost looks like a mouth or 00:03:32.479 --> 00:03:34.719 teeth or something like that. Is this the horse 00:03:34.719 --> 00:03:40.699 hole that the horse went down? So your theory 00:03:40.699 --> 00:03:43.539 is that there's some sort of tunnel for the horse? 00:03:43.780 --> 00:03:47.060 I'm just saying that horse, we all saw the lock 00:03:47.060 --> 00:03:50.060 wasn't broken. There's a big... No, actually, 00:03:50.240 --> 00:03:52.639 we didn't really talk about it. No, we didn't. 00:03:52.699 --> 00:03:54.360 There's certainly merit to the idea that something's 00:03:54.360 --> 00:03:59.000 underneath, given how the turnips have happened. 00:03:59.280 --> 00:04:02.780 And then I pull out the drawing of the farms 00:04:02.780 --> 00:04:04.740 again. There's also just something odd that they're 00:04:04.740 --> 00:04:08.360 perfectly symmetrical. No one designs farms like 00:04:08.360 --> 00:04:10.259 that. I really want to see some of these turnips. 00:04:10.919 --> 00:04:14.379 Clary walks over and has rolled a nine for supernatural. 00:04:14.840 --> 00:04:18.779 Does he recognize? The ritual circle. Well, he 00:04:18.779 --> 00:04:21.120 would say that that doesn't look like it's part 00:04:21.120 --> 00:04:23.220 of the ritual. That looks like it's an illustration 00:04:23.220 --> 00:04:26.519 of something. To be honest, that kind of looks 00:04:26.519 --> 00:04:29.220 like a mouth. That doesn't look... That looks 00:04:29.220 --> 00:04:31.019 as if someone else has drawn that on there. Yeah, 00:04:31.019 --> 00:04:33.199 it's a picture book. Oh, is it? Oh, never mind 00:04:33.199 --> 00:04:36.279 then. Yeah. It definitely does not look like 00:04:36.279 --> 00:04:38.560 someone else has drawn it on. It looks like an 00:04:38.560 --> 00:04:40.860 illustration that was in this book from the beginning. 00:04:41.120 --> 00:04:44.660 Does anyone here speak Irish? I don't. We can 00:04:44.660 --> 00:04:46.899 ask around and see if someone... Yeah, can anyone 00:04:46.899 --> 00:04:48.720 translate? I mean, some of this is too old to 00:04:48.720 --> 00:04:51.019 be legible, but... Gonna go back to the hot dog 00:04:51.019 --> 00:04:54.500 man. Hot dog man. Hot dog man. Excuse me. These 00:04:54.500 --> 00:04:59.040 are my friends. We're not his friends. We are... 00:04:59.040 --> 00:05:01.259 What do you want? We just... Can you read this 00:05:01.259 --> 00:05:03.500 at all? Do you have any... No, I don't speak 00:05:03.500 --> 00:05:06.600 Irish. Would you know someone who does? I know 00:05:06.600 --> 00:05:09.519 a bit of all of them. Oh, sorry. But I don't 00:05:09.519 --> 00:05:12.240 know the other bits. I don't know the more modern 00:05:12.240 --> 00:05:14.959 bits. Oh, okay. We can get half of it, or, well, 00:05:15.120 --> 00:05:17.240 two -thirds of it. Sorry, what's below half? 00:05:17.399 --> 00:05:19.279 Well, I know how to write my name in Ogham because 00:05:19.279 --> 00:05:22.459 an axe taught me. Is your name in this? Some 00:05:22.459 --> 00:05:25.639 of the letters, but it's the lines and stuff, 00:05:25.699 --> 00:05:28.259 so it really is like the composition of it is 00:05:28.259 --> 00:05:30.980 kind of difficult. So how much of it can you 00:05:30.980 --> 00:05:32.759 translate? How much of it can I translate? Do 00:05:32.759 --> 00:05:37.180 you have a codex at this point? You sort of understand 00:05:37.180 --> 00:05:39.610 how some of that Ogham stuff works. So you're 00:05:39.610 --> 00:05:42.269 picking out a few wee words. You see the word 00:05:42.269 --> 00:05:45.350 boar. You see bone. You think there's a mention 00:05:45.350 --> 00:05:51.569 of venom and gullet. Like, you're not able to 00:05:51.569 --> 00:05:54.949 string loads of this together. But it definitely 00:05:54.949 --> 00:05:56.850 seems like it's talking about some sort of creature. 00:05:57.230 --> 00:05:59.189 But a lot of the details seem to be in that Irish 00:05:59.189 --> 00:06:01.149 stuff that you don't know how to speak. Well, 00:06:01.269 --> 00:06:03.730 the one thing we know at least, none of that's 00:06:03.730 --> 00:06:06.870 to do with turnips. It could be a bit horsey. 00:06:06.889 --> 00:06:09.850 It sounds a bit horsey. You actually might be 00:06:09.850 --> 00:06:11.970 on to something, Gideon. And I'm sorry. And I 00:06:11.970 --> 00:06:13.430 wasn't dismissing you. I was just saying that 00:06:13.430 --> 00:06:15.009 you sounded like very hung up on it in the way 00:06:15.009 --> 00:06:16.550 that Kyra was hung up on the robots. And I know 00:06:16.550 --> 00:06:18.709 that's a good thing, Kyra. I appreciate your 00:06:18.709 --> 00:06:20.189 determination. No, I'm fully off the robots now. 00:06:20.269 --> 00:06:22.990 I have moved on. There's conspiracies in this 00:06:22.990 --> 00:06:25.189 town, but I don't like the robots. It's crazy. 00:06:25.410 --> 00:06:27.509 I might be a little bit concussed. But I think 00:06:27.509 --> 00:06:31.629 this thing might have eaten... Might have eaten 00:06:31.629 --> 00:06:34.029 Margaret, the horse. Is that a big... So are 00:06:34.029 --> 00:06:38.110 we saying that's like a big worm? Yeah. Like 00:06:38.110 --> 00:06:42.670 a big worm with teeth. Like Shai Halud from the 00:06:42.670 --> 00:06:44.750 recently released science fiction novel, Dune. 00:06:45.089 --> 00:06:48.149 Good. Maybe there might be someone in this town. 00:06:48.629 --> 00:06:51.610 I'm going to go looking for any Irish teachers. 00:06:51.769 --> 00:06:54.149 I bet you there's a stall here of someone willing 00:06:54.149 --> 00:06:56.569 to translate my name to Irish or something. Yeah. 00:06:57.029 --> 00:06:59.629 We'll all go our separate ways. No, don't do 00:06:59.629 --> 00:07:03.509 that. Stay with us. Stay, stay. So the four of 00:07:03.509 --> 00:07:06.180 you just have a wee look around. There's all 00:07:06.180 --> 00:07:09.199 sorts. There's people selling tat. There's a 00:07:09.199 --> 00:07:15.420 band setting up later. There's a fisherman. He's 00:07:15.420 --> 00:07:18.139 just selling a bunch of fish. Is that the wolf 00:07:18.139 --> 00:07:22.139 tones? Is that the actual wolf tones? Well, no, 00:07:22.220 --> 00:07:25.800 you actually notice their sign. It says catechism 00:07:25.800 --> 00:07:28.759 on it. Underneath, though, it is written in Irish 00:07:28.759 --> 00:07:31.019 as well. Like, they've got their name written 00:07:31.019 --> 00:07:33.870 in two languages. I think it's a marketing trap. 00:07:33.970 --> 00:07:36.329 No, but this could also be like Maddie, who just, 00:07:36.410 --> 00:07:40.389 they know their name. So... Yeah. Maybe they 00:07:40.389 --> 00:07:41.750 can only translate a few more words. Well, we 00:07:41.750 --> 00:07:44.449 can try asking. I guess. Are they playing currently? 00:07:45.509 --> 00:07:47.889 They are not playing currently. I don't hear 00:07:47.889 --> 00:07:50.470 any music. There's just a fella plugging in a 00:07:50.470 --> 00:07:52.990 bunch of stuff. He's unpacking what looks like 00:07:52.990 --> 00:07:55.709 a guitar case. Let's not bother with any crew. 00:07:56.050 --> 00:07:58.850 What do you mean? There's one man. At this bandstand. 00:07:59.029 --> 00:08:02.430 Why would he know the Irish? He's not part of 00:08:02.430 --> 00:08:04.209 the band. If we're going to find the band, there's 00:08:04.209 --> 00:08:06.230 no point in wasting our time with stagehands 00:08:06.230 --> 00:08:08.589 or whatever. Oh, we can build a set. Who gives 00:08:08.589 --> 00:08:13.410 a fuck? Clary, you are displaying levels of snobbishness 00:08:13.410 --> 00:08:15.449 I would not associate with the noble profession 00:08:15.449 --> 00:08:17.509 of milkman. That seems to be the kind of behaviour 00:08:17.509 --> 00:08:20.670 more suited for a milkmaster. Yes, a milkmaster. 00:08:20.769 --> 00:08:23.649 Yeah, Clary. Curdled by your own hubris. Well, 00:08:23.649 --> 00:08:28.939 I was shot at twice. Last night, so maybe I'm 00:08:28.939 --> 00:08:32.379 going a little too hard. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, 00:08:32.460 --> 00:08:34.980 sir. You probably overheard all that. Yes, I 00:08:34.980 --> 00:08:40.919 did, actually. I am in the band. Why? No, don't. 00:08:41.059 --> 00:08:42.899 Don't. Why are you setting up? Are you just good 00:08:42.899 --> 00:08:46.559 at that stuff? No, it's a small bandstand. I'm 00:08:46.559 --> 00:08:48.580 just helping set up. The other guys aren't here 00:08:48.580 --> 00:08:50.500 yet. Sir, I have to apologize for my friend. 00:08:50.580 --> 00:08:54.230 He spent all night in a field. Fearing for his 00:08:54.230 --> 00:08:56.830 life, and I think... Why? That's not true. I 00:08:56.830 --> 00:09:00.649 got out of the field pretty quickly. Do you speak 00:09:00.649 --> 00:09:03.750 Irish? No, I don't, actually. Our drummer does. 00:09:03.929 --> 00:09:05.450 See, this is what I'm saying. He's setting up 00:09:05.450 --> 00:09:07.889 the stage. Could... Is your drummer about? We 00:09:07.889 --> 00:09:09.750 just have a few questions about a manuscript 00:09:09.750 --> 00:09:11.950 we found. No, he's not. He should be here in, 00:09:11.990 --> 00:09:14.409 like, you know, in about an hour or so. But, 00:09:14.450 --> 00:09:16.149 like, because we're doing a set, so you can come 00:09:16.149 --> 00:09:19.470 see us. Yeah. Great. What do you play? Like, 00:09:19.490 --> 00:09:22.769 sort of like Christian grunge. Like, come on. 00:09:23.329 --> 00:09:25.309 That's why we're called catechism. But you know, 00:09:25.309 --> 00:09:28.110 we draw lots of influences. So it's like grunge, 00:09:28.110 --> 00:09:29.409 but with a positive Christian message. So you're 00:09:29.409 --> 00:09:32.669 going to tell us about God? Well, it's for some 00:09:32.669 --> 00:09:34.450 people. It might be in the second person. It 00:09:34.450 --> 00:09:35.929 might not seem like it's about God, but it's 00:09:35.929 --> 00:09:37.330 actually about God. You know one of those? Are 00:09:37.330 --> 00:09:41.669 you one of those? Yeah, it's quite veiled in 00:09:41.669 --> 00:09:44.389 a few layers of metaphor and stuff. But it's 00:09:44.389 --> 00:09:47.850 definitely about God. Right, so you don't speak 00:09:47.850 --> 00:09:50.409 Irish. It's great, though. I don't. The drummer 00:09:50.409 --> 00:09:53.110 does. He'll be here soon. Can I ask what the 00:09:53.110 --> 00:09:58.149 name of your drummer is? His name is Jonathan 00:09:58.149 --> 00:10:04.590 Kilkenny. Okay. Yeah. A cold sweat creeps across 00:10:04.590 --> 00:10:07.970 Maddie's forehead as they remember that name. 00:10:08.350 --> 00:10:10.570 But what happened to that man after they broke 00:10:10.570 --> 00:10:13.149 up? Maddie, are you okay? You've been in a bit 00:10:13.149 --> 00:10:17.210 of a daze there. Jonathan and me went out for... 00:10:17.629 --> 00:10:20.429 a number of very intense months, and it was great. 00:10:20.629 --> 00:10:23.169 All right. It was a really lovely relationship. 00:10:23.629 --> 00:10:25.649 You're staying over at his house, leaving toothbrushes 00:10:25.649 --> 00:10:28.970 and stuff. I mean, yeah, honestly. All right. 00:10:29.049 --> 00:10:31.990 And that was about it. I went to a family barbecue 00:10:31.990 --> 00:10:35.169 or two. He taught me a little bit of Ogham. I'm 00:10:35.169 --> 00:10:37.889 not very good at retaining the stuff that people 00:10:37.889 --> 00:10:40.809 teach me, but I have, like, little bits of knowledge. 00:10:40.970 --> 00:10:43.549 That's class. Well, yeah, so that's why I was 00:10:43.549 --> 00:10:46.320 able to look at the... That's why you wrote down 00:10:46.320 --> 00:10:48.000 all those words for us. He's actually probably 00:10:48.000 --> 00:10:50.600 a pretty good person to look at this for us. 00:10:50.820 --> 00:10:53.080 So he knows all the man Irish. Jesus. Yeah, but 00:10:53.080 --> 00:10:58.100 I don't know if he'll remember me. Aqua, why 00:10:58.100 --> 00:11:00.179 wouldn't he remember you? You're a catch. Look 00:11:00.179 --> 00:11:02.360 at yourself out here solving crimes. Okay, well, 00:11:02.419 --> 00:11:04.289 we don't have that kind of... Wait, I wasn't 00:11:04.289 --> 00:11:06.210 doing that then. I wasn't solving... I just committed 00:11:06.210 --> 00:11:08.509 a crime. I just committed a few crimes. I took 00:11:08.509 --> 00:11:09.970 a robot butler yesterday from a man's house. 00:11:09.970 --> 00:11:11.490 Yeah, you told me to believe in you, and you 00:11:11.490 --> 00:11:13.590 believed in yourself so much, you've got a robot 00:11:13.590 --> 00:11:15.950 now. I might add, completely useless so far, 00:11:16.049 --> 00:11:20.190 this robot butler. I have to carry him. Can the 00:11:20.190 --> 00:11:24.669 robot translate Ogham or Irish? I don't know 00:11:24.669 --> 00:11:26.570 what this robot's capabilities are, but I can 00:11:26.570 --> 00:11:28.909 assure you it can't. I think, yeah, I think it 00:11:28.909 --> 00:11:31.269 literally does poor strings. Does anyone have 00:11:31.269 --> 00:11:33.759 anything they want to do for an hour? I would 00:11:33.759 --> 00:11:35.620 love to get some food. I'm going to get a hot 00:11:35.620 --> 00:11:39.419 bowl of turnip. Yep. My treat, my treat. Thank 00:11:39.419 --> 00:11:42.100 you. We cut to a montage of the four of yous 00:11:42.100 --> 00:11:44.299 walking around, chatting to people, eating bowls 00:11:44.299 --> 00:11:46.919 of turnip. Pointing at big turnips. Somebody 00:11:46.919 --> 00:11:50.480 get in this picture cutout and get my photo taken. 00:11:50.559 --> 00:11:52.899 We're two turnips. Get down, both of yous. I 00:11:52.899 --> 00:11:54.600 think I saw him eating a hot dog. Be careful. 00:11:54.899 --> 00:11:56.539 Yeah, Dylan's eating a hot dog right over there. 00:11:56.620 --> 00:11:58.279 And I can't move very quickly because this thing 00:11:58.279 --> 00:12:02.379 weighs like 30 kilos. It's a heavy robot. Give 00:12:02.379 --> 00:12:07.019 me the papoose. Oh, hey, brother. You guys passing 00:12:07.019 --> 00:12:10.759 around an Omnibot 2000 there, I see. Pretty, 00:12:10.759 --> 00:12:13.200 pretty cool. We're trying to keep it on the DL. 00:12:13.519 --> 00:12:16.519 Oh, yeah, yeah. Is this a black market Omnibot? 00:12:16.539 --> 00:12:19.379 It's illicit. It's illicit. Well, I wouldn't 00:12:19.379 --> 00:12:21.860 say that. I think it's quite pure of heart. I 00:12:21.860 --> 00:12:23.860 know robots don't necessarily have heart, but 00:12:23.860 --> 00:12:25.559 it's... Yeah, for sure, for sure. It's a sweet 00:12:25.559 --> 00:12:27.659 little guy. I mean, if you knew its origin, you 00:12:27.659 --> 00:12:29.039 would know it's definitely pure of heart. Hi, 00:12:29.039 --> 00:12:31.179 Glory Postman. I'm the Milkman. It's nice to 00:12:31.179 --> 00:12:33.080 meet you. My name's Dave. Dave, I'm a fisherman. 00:12:33.299 --> 00:12:35.480 You guys enjoying the town fair? Yeah. Do you 00:12:35.480 --> 00:12:37.580 know... Wear your shoes. No, go ahead. Oh, so 00:12:37.580 --> 00:12:42.120 I don't wear them anymore because I like to be 00:12:42.120 --> 00:12:45.259 one with the lake. If you're so fisherman, wear 00:12:45.259 --> 00:12:48.960 the fish in your belt. Excuse me? I'm a milkman. 00:12:48.960 --> 00:12:51.059 You see all this milk around my body. It's a 00:12:51.059 --> 00:12:55.500 hot day. That's curdled. You stink. I stand by 00:12:55.500 --> 00:12:59.440 it. A lot of my best catches are on display. 00:13:00.600 --> 00:13:02.919 Just a little market stall over there. They're 00:13:02.919 --> 00:13:06.419 not for purchase or anything. It's really just 00:13:06.419 --> 00:13:09.500 you guys can check them out if you like. You 00:13:09.500 --> 00:13:12.220 got some time to kill? Yeah. I'll look at some 00:13:12.220 --> 00:13:15.240 fish in the sun. So here's one. Don't know what 00:13:15.240 --> 00:13:17.759 it's called. but pretty big. I don't know what 00:13:17.759 --> 00:13:21.379 it's called. So far as fish go, pretty big. So 00:13:21.379 --> 00:13:23.539 do you not know what it's called because of your 00:13:23.539 --> 00:13:27.460 capabilities as a fisherman or it's just an unknown 00:13:27.460 --> 00:13:30.080 species? Brother, I caught it. I caught it. You 00:13:30.080 --> 00:13:31.179 know what I'm saying? You're talking about my 00:13:31.179 --> 00:13:33.620 capabilities as a fisherman. You're looking at 00:13:33.620 --> 00:13:36.899 my wares here, my catches. You travel the world, 00:13:36.980 --> 00:13:41.039 right? Well, I came from up north, popped over 00:13:41.039 --> 00:13:44.340 to the... The old London, don't know if you've 00:13:44.340 --> 00:13:45.919 heard of that before. Don't say that. Over there, 00:13:46.000 --> 00:13:48.899 and then pop straight back. Do you speak any 00:13:48.899 --> 00:13:51.620 Irish over there in London? No, no, not myself. 00:13:52.019 --> 00:13:54.220 I spend a lot of time out in the lake at the 00:13:54.220 --> 00:13:56.799 minute. Now, tell you what though, out in the 00:13:56.799 --> 00:13:59.299 loch there, there's a wee island out there, absolutely 00:13:59.299 --> 00:14:01.919 gorgeous. If you get a chance out there, check 00:14:01.919 --> 00:14:06.360 it out. Now, I will say, I'd rent boats, no problem. 00:14:06.460 --> 00:14:08.320 I can rent you boats, as many boats as you want, 00:14:08.440 --> 00:14:12.440 best boats you've ever seen. The island out there, 00:14:12.580 --> 00:14:14.620 a bit tough to get to at the minute. You've got 00:14:14.620 --> 00:14:16.759 to get round the back end of it. You don't want 00:14:16.759 --> 00:14:19.419 to head in straight on. It's pretty badly churned 00:14:19.419 --> 00:14:21.740 out there at the minute. Little piggies. I was 00:14:21.740 --> 00:14:23.840 walking around on the lock out there, let me 00:14:23.840 --> 00:14:25.559 tell you. You mean your toes? Yeah, that's the 00:14:25.559 --> 00:14:29.519 ones. Just absolutely squelching, let me tell 00:14:29.519 --> 00:14:32.740 you, brother. So you haven't seen this boy? Oh, 00:14:32.779 --> 00:14:35.759 God, Clary. Let the man show his fish off. No, 00:14:35.840 --> 00:14:38.929 no. No, I don't think I've seen that boy. Not 00:14:38.929 --> 00:14:40.669 a lot of kids are in the lake, if you catch me. 00:14:40.769 --> 00:14:42.090 Yeah, that's all right, then. You've saved me 00:14:42.090 --> 00:14:46.450 a trip. Cheers. But, hey, listen, if you're here 00:14:46.450 --> 00:14:48.669 in time for a little bit, I would say, you know, 00:14:48.710 --> 00:14:51.490 have fun at the fair. Obviously, you guys can 00:14:51.490 --> 00:14:54.289 check out my fish as much as you want. And if 00:14:54.289 --> 00:14:55.850 you need a boat, if you want to check out the 00:14:55.850 --> 00:14:59.950 island on the loch, then, hey, hit up Dave. Well, 00:15:00.009 --> 00:15:03.409 like, after the fair, what are you doing? I'm 00:15:03.409 --> 00:15:05.440 just going to head back out in the lake. You 00:15:05.440 --> 00:15:07.600 want me to boat you out there? Yeah, that'd be 00:15:07.600 --> 00:15:12.159 great. I was going to just show you a picture. 00:15:12.820 --> 00:15:17.279 Is it another boy? No. You think it's another 00:15:17.279 --> 00:15:19.360 boy. It's just the same photo of the same boy. 00:15:20.000 --> 00:15:21.700 Is it going to be the same photo of the same 00:15:21.700 --> 00:15:24.559 boy? No, no. It's from this big book. Have you 00:15:24.559 --> 00:15:26.240 ever seen that before? This big circle thing? 00:15:28.580 --> 00:15:34.120 No. That's sad. Go back to your lake. Clary. 00:15:34.750 --> 00:15:37.809 What? Your desperate search for your son has 00:15:37.809 --> 00:15:41.669 rendered you... This was on topic. I'm just saying, 00:15:41.830 --> 00:15:45.970 your grief is tearing you apart, man. It's making 00:15:45.970 --> 00:15:49.750 you weird. Look at you. You didn't know me before 00:15:49.750 --> 00:15:52.070 my grief. You can't verify that. You have got 00:15:52.070 --> 00:15:55.450 worse. You can't verify that. Gideon, I think 00:15:55.450 --> 00:15:58.799 we've established that for some reason... Weird 00:15:58.799 --> 00:16:01.179 milk obsession and a son obsession are unrelated. 00:16:01.539 --> 00:16:04.960 Thank you. They run strongly in parallel, but 00:16:04.960 --> 00:16:09.080 unrelated. Not causation. Yeah, I feel like finding 00:16:09.080 --> 00:16:12.600 his son will not fix him. I'm going to just start 00:16:12.600 --> 00:16:15.740 showing two photos around to everybody at the 00:16:15.740 --> 00:16:22.080 fair. Maybe we make our way back to the bandstand? 00:16:22.379 --> 00:16:25.379 Our agents head back to the bandstand. The rest 00:16:25.379 --> 00:16:27.000 of the band seem to be there now. There's a lad 00:16:27.000 --> 00:16:28.940 tuning up his guitar and there's a fella on the 00:16:28.940 --> 00:16:30.500 drums and he's tightening some of the skins. 00:16:30.779 --> 00:16:33.679 At the front of the stage, Maddy sees a familiar 00:16:33.679 --> 00:16:38.580 face. A beautiful shock of wavy blonde hair sits 00:16:38.580 --> 00:16:41.580 atop a chiseled jaw. He's got an interesting 00:16:41.580 --> 00:16:45.639 wee beard and as their eyes track down this fella, 00:16:45.740 --> 00:16:48.340 they notice a new addition. A priest's collar 00:16:48.340 --> 00:16:53.669 around his neck. Maddy Murphy. What brings you 00:16:53.669 --> 00:16:57.649 to Spar's Hollow? It's, well, it depends the 00:16:57.649 --> 00:17:00.110 R in which you ask me that question, the response 00:17:00.110 --> 00:17:02.570 that I will give you, but it's really nice to 00:17:02.570 --> 00:17:06.190 see you. It's so good to run into an old flame. 00:17:06.670 --> 00:17:08.789 Goodness me. Can I say that? You're wearing a 00:17:08.789 --> 00:17:12.890 collar now. Hey, hey, God's love is in all of 00:17:12.890 --> 00:17:15.309 us, yeah? Was the breakup that bad? I thought 00:17:15.309 --> 00:17:17.670 we ended on pretty decent terms. Sorry, I'm kind 00:17:17.670 --> 00:17:20.910 of like jumping straight into it. No, it's totally 00:17:20.910 --> 00:17:24.130 cool. It's so great to see you. How's your mum? 00:17:25.190 --> 00:17:28.869 She's good, yeah. Still knocking about. I send 00:17:28.869 --> 00:17:30.990 her checks now and then. She's not working so 00:17:30.990 --> 00:17:34.890 much anymore. It turns out that playing drums 00:17:34.890 --> 00:17:37.990 in a Christian rock band and doing weddings and 00:17:37.990 --> 00:17:40.509 so forth in a small town, it really pays the 00:17:40.509 --> 00:17:43.819 bills. That is the most... Beautiful man any 00:17:43.819 --> 00:17:45.839 of yous have ever seen in your life, right? It's 00:17:45.839 --> 00:17:48.740 not just the collar. I would have thought a shock 00:17:48.740 --> 00:17:53.779 of hair would look odd. But on him, it was incredible. 00:17:54.319 --> 00:17:56.799 I don't know if there should be a halo above 00:17:56.799 --> 00:18:00.539 him already, but my lord. So you're here just 00:18:00.539 --> 00:18:05.930 on holiday or for work? Well, kind of for a hobby. 00:18:05.970 --> 00:18:08.109 And then we lied for a bit and said it was for 00:18:08.109 --> 00:18:10.930 work. And then we've got entangled in this kind 00:18:10.930 --> 00:18:13.650 of thing. Do you still speak Irish? Yeah, yeah. 00:18:13.910 --> 00:18:16.410 As you well know, I learned it to come over here. 00:18:16.430 --> 00:18:19.349 It turns out nobody speaks it. I thought that 00:18:19.349 --> 00:18:22.150 was very endearing. Because you even learned, 00:18:22.210 --> 00:18:25.049 not even like recent Irish. I learned it all. 00:18:25.250 --> 00:18:28.769 Yeah. You really committed. That's what I do, 00:18:28.809 --> 00:18:30.730 Maddy. Yeah, I mean, you committed to me, now 00:18:30.730 --> 00:18:33.380 you've committed to God, I guess. It's not in 00:18:33.380 --> 00:18:35.799 a bad way. It's less of a... Just surprised. 00:18:36.519 --> 00:18:38.900 It's a partnership between me and the big man, 00:18:38.960 --> 00:18:40.980 you know what I'm saying? I feel what he wants 00:18:40.980 --> 00:18:44.240 me to do in my soul. Did you date anyone else 00:18:44.240 --> 00:18:46.880 before the priesthood, or...? No, you were my 00:18:46.880 --> 00:18:52.279 last. Oh, God. Okay. So, what's your interest 00:18:52.279 --> 00:18:59.220 in Irish? So, me and my friends slash milk trainee 00:18:59.220 --> 00:19:04.630 fellows... Are they all guys? What has that got 00:19:04.630 --> 00:19:06.670 to do with it? They're looking at us. Wave, wave. 00:19:07.750 --> 00:19:10.829 We see three men waving. I think I should give 00:19:10.829 --> 00:19:14.029 him a nod. Is that a little robot he has in a 00:19:14.029 --> 00:19:16.250 papoose? I stole him yesterday, but don't tell 00:19:16.250 --> 00:19:20.150 the big man. Oh, plugging my ears for you, Maddy. 00:19:20.150 --> 00:19:25.289 No problem. So this Irish, your companions are 00:19:25.289 --> 00:19:29.890 here on a hobby, partially work. Yeah, it's kind 00:19:29.890 --> 00:19:33.410 of become a bit of a, I guess, almost a scavenger 00:19:33.410 --> 00:19:36.869 hunt. And then part of that has involved us getting 00:19:36.869 --> 00:19:40.569 this book and there's some Irish in it and there's 00:19:40.569 --> 00:19:42.809 diagrams and there's some Ogham in it. And I 00:19:42.809 --> 00:19:45.150 kind of got bits and pieces of that, but we've 00:19:45.150 --> 00:19:48.069 kind of hit a wall with it. So we thought, you 00:19:48.069 --> 00:19:50.410 know, happy coincidence. We came here. There 00:19:50.410 --> 00:19:53.740 is a fair on. Like, this is a lovely little way 00:19:53.740 --> 00:19:56.440 to spend the afternoon. Heck yes. Yeah, we thought 00:19:56.440 --> 00:19:58.819 we'd run into some people who also properly speak 00:19:58.819 --> 00:20:01.759 Irish, but it turns out it's yourself. Well, 00:20:01.900 --> 00:20:07.099 it would be my honour to try and translate it 00:20:07.099 --> 00:20:10.420 for you if you have it handy. Oh, yeah, one of 00:20:10.420 --> 00:20:12.220 the guys, or the robot has it right now. These 00:20:12.220 --> 00:20:15.660 are the guys, by the way. Oh, hi. Hi. This is 00:20:15.660 --> 00:20:18.859 Jonathan. This is the book? Yes. Oh, there's 00:20:18.859 --> 00:20:22.519 the book. Let's have a look here. Huh. This page 00:20:22.519 --> 00:20:26.240 here? No, the next, sorry, ten more pages in. 00:20:26.339 --> 00:20:29.140 Sorry. The one that says about the gullet. Sorry, 00:20:29.140 --> 00:20:31.059 go back one, go back one. The gullet one. Yeah, 00:20:31.059 --> 00:20:32.619 we've written bone, we've written bone on the 00:20:32.619 --> 00:20:34.380 side of it. No, you passed on to the next one. 00:20:34.380 --> 00:20:36.680 Oh, there, no, sorry, there. It's very impressive 00:20:36.680 --> 00:20:40.779 that you got, what was that, bone and boar and... 00:20:40.779 --> 00:20:45.859 Gullet. Gullet. Venom 2. Interesting. Thanks, 00:20:45.900 --> 00:20:49.799 Clary. I can... Believe in yourself. I can certainly 00:20:49.799 --> 00:20:52.759 do my best to flesh out the rest for her. You 00:20:52.759 --> 00:20:57.039 could bring a man back from the cloth. I don't 00:20:57.039 --> 00:20:58.960 want to do that. I'm kind of okay doing my own 00:20:58.960 --> 00:21:00.160 thing at the moment. You're on holiday. Well, 00:21:00.160 --> 00:21:03.519 do whatever you want. It was bone that bore her 00:21:03.519 --> 00:21:08.500 from marrow once soaked in hatred. Split open 00:21:08.500 --> 00:21:11.539 by the arrogance of man, she spilled into the 00:21:11.539 --> 00:21:16.400 lake. A worm in nothing but name alone. A mountain 00:21:16.400 --> 00:21:20.440 of scale and shadow. mother to all that coils 00:21:20.440 --> 00:21:24.119 beneath the earth. The land remembers her breath, 00:21:24.440 --> 00:21:28.500 venom in the wells, ash in the grass, cattle 00:21:28.500 --> 00:21:31.039 in their thousands and the screams of vanished 00:21:31.039 --> 00:21:34.779 children. The rivers wept red, not from war, 00:21:34.960 --> 00:21:38.759 but from hunger. Saints could not sanctify her. 00:21:38.980 --> 00:21:42.400 Even holy men found her belly before they found 00:21:42.400 --> 00:21:46.569 escape. She is the gullet of myth, the chasm 00:21:46.569 --> 00:21:50.490 that dreams of swallowing gods. Banishment did 00:21:50.490 --> 00:21:53.829 not slay her. She sleeps instead beneath the 00:21:53.829 --> 00:21:57.329 lock. In time, the moon will once more disappear. 00:21:58.130 --> 00:22:04.170 The blood will boil. The silver dull. Yes, in 00:22:04.170 --> 00:22:09.490 time, another will call her name. Sound about 00:22:09.490 --> 00:22:11.950 a worm, I guess. I mean, yeah, it feels a bit 00:22:11.950 --> 00:22:15.440 riddly. There's a summoning ritual here next 00:22:15.440 --> 00:22:19.220 to it as well, and beneath that, a binding ritual. 00:22:19.740 --> 00:22:24.259 This worm takes children? Well, from what I can 00:22:24.259 --> 00:22:28.039 glean here, this is about an ancient beast. Wait, 00:22:28.059 --> 00:22:30.559 stop your beautiful mouth. Have you... Look at 00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:33.319 another photo. Could you look at another photo? 00:22:33.640 --> 00:22:36.519 It would be my pleasure. Have you seen this boy? 00:22:36.940 --> 00:22:39.240 No. No, you don't have to answer that. Well, 00:22:39.259 --> 00:22:43.579 no, I haven't, but... I can ask the Lord to keep 00:22:43.579 --> 00:22:48.180 an eye out for him. Sorry, Maddy. Thank you so 00:22:48.180 --> 00:22:53.019 much. So, this poem appears to be about a creature, 00:22:53.220 --> 00:22:56.400 an ancient creature called the Kurano. It's a 00:22:56.400 --> 00:23:00.039 legendary beast. I suppose you'd classify it 00:23:00.039 --> 00:23:04.000 as some kind of worm or dragon, maybe. They're 00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:07.519 said to inhabit numerous lakes and rivers across 00:23:07.519 --> 00:23:11.150 the land. Now, the summoning ritual here... It 00:23:11.150 --> 00:23:13.390 says it needs to be performed beneath a new moon. 00:23:14.450 --> 00:23:16.269 Well, it's been cloudy for the last few days, 00:23:16.289 --> 00:23:18.250 so we don't know when that's going to be. Well, 00:23:18.309 --> 00:23:20.289 I mean, that would track with the behaviour of 00:23:20.289 --> 00:23:23.710 the two kids. What do you mean? They did it a 00:23:23.710 --> 00:23:25.750 few weeks ago, right? Yes, by accident, perhaps. 00:23:25.750 --> 00:23:28.289 So we need to go back and ask them how long ago 00:23:28.289 --> 00:23:33.470 they did it? Well, how about we let the father 00:23:33.470 --> 00:23:40.000 here complete... sentence before we look at the 00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:42.539 weather report. That's fine, yeah, sounds good. 00:23:43.519 --> 00:23:47.539 Sorry, Jonathan. The summoning ritual requires 00:23:47.539 --> 00:23:50.660 a vessel of water drawn from the loch before 00:23:50.660 --> 00:23:54.640 dawn, a thigh bone scorched with ash, hawthorn 00:23:54.640 --> 00:23:58.279 branches formed into a spiral, willing blood 00:23:58.279 --> 00:24:02.440 from animal or man, and chalk mixed with bog 00:24:02.440 --> 00:24:06.720 iron to inscribe the circle. Sounds like a load 00:24:06.720 --> 00:24:09.400 of nonsense to me, but if this is what your hobby 00:24:09.400 --> 00:24:12.819 is, fair enough. All right, Jesus boy. Jesus 00:24:12.819 --> 00:24:15.339 boy. We need him for the next bit, and then we 00:24:15.339 --> 00:24:17.599 can say whatever we like about him. It's fine. 00:24:17.799 --> 00:24:20.960 We ended on good terms, right? So far, so good, 00:24:20.960 --> 00:24:23.099 Maddy. And he is a man of the cloth. Do show 00:24:23.099 --> 00:24:26.609 him the respect. Thank you, stranger. And he 00:24:26.609 --> 00:24:29.329 is the most gorgeous man I've ever seen, so please. 00:24:29.490 --> 00:24:32.230 Can you stop saying that, Clary? Thank you. What 00:24:32.230 --> 00:24:34.509 about the binding ritual? Well, the binding ritual 00:24:34.509 --> 00:24:40.609 is similar, but a little less involved. Also 00:24:40.609 --> 00:24:43.509 to be performed beneath a new moon, beside natural 00:24:43.509 --> 00:24:47.130 water where no church bell is heard. Well, that 00:24:47.130 --> 00:24:52.960 is... Well, I suppose these are very old. Yes, 00:24:52.960 --> 00:24:56.599 the ash bark soaked in lake water. A mirror. 00:24:56.839 --> 00:25:00.480 Three drops of venom from any serpent. A brazier 00:25:00.480 --> 00:25:03.819 fed with peat and sheep's wool. And a voice of 00:25:03.819 --> 00:25:06.740 lament. There's some instructions beneath here 00:25:06.740 --> 00:25:12.980 as well. This is mad. That is an absurd list 00:25:12.980 --> 00:25:15.119 of things you're asking from us here. Well, it 00:25:15.119 --> 00:25:17.440 seems like the boys, we know at least that they 00:25:17.440 --> 00:25:19.259 were waving a stick around. That could have been 00:25:19.259 --> 00:25:21.029 the Hawthorne branch, so... No, but we don't 00:25:21.029 --> 00:25:23.589 care about what they've done, right? Well, we 00:25:23.589 --> 00:25:24.789 need to know what they've done to understand 00:25:24.789 --> 00:25:25.710 how to undo it. Well, we know what they've done. 00:25:25.750 --> 00:25:27.150 They've done the summoning ritual, so we can 00:25:27.150 --> 00:25:28.869 ignore that bit and move right to the binding. 00:25:28.930 --> 00:25:30.710 But do we believe that this is what's happened? 00:25:31.549 --> 00:25:33.130 Do we believe this is what's happened to the 00:25:33.130 --> 00:25:34.509 turnips? There was something under the ground. 00:25:34.509 --> 00:25:36.529 To the horse? It's this or the fucking robots. 00:25:38.069 --> 00:25:41.109 I would just, based on the poem, it seems like 00:25:41.109 --> 00:25:43.789 the actions taken by this creature would be far 00:25:43.789 --> 00:25:47.220 more severe than a dozen turnips. Do you guys 00:25:47.220 --> 00:25:49.279 need a sidebar or something? It's odd that you're 00:25:49.279 --> 00:25:51.380 speaking about this while I'm just standing here. 00:25:51.519 --> 00:25:54.160 No, you stand there. Um, Toland? Actually, so 00:25:54.160 --> 00:25:56.440 we can see you just, like, come into the circle? 00:25:56.680 --> 00:25:58.299 If you still need to do setup, that's totally 00:25:58.299 --> 00:26:00.859 fine. I do need to finish tuning my snail. Well, 00:26:01.059 --> 00:26:05.019 okay, how about we'll all let you finish the 00:26:05.019 --> 00:26:09.420 binding ritual. Or are you finished? Well, I've 00:26:09.420 --> 00:26:12.240 told you the materials required. Now, the instructions 00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:15.779 are fairly simple. Begin as the last light phase 00:26:15.779 --> 00:26:18.440 with the brazier lit and a mirror placed beside 00:26:18.440 --> 00:26:20.900 it reflecting the fire. Place the ash bark into 00:26:20.900 --> 00:26:24.420 the brazier. Drip the serpent's venom onto the 00:26:24.420 --> 00:26:27.519 fire and recite Bone of Beast, Hand of Man. What 00:26:27.519 --> 00:26:30.460 was released shall now return, sleep again in 00:26:30.460 --> 00:26:33.720 blood -stained brine. Someone must then sing 00:26:33.720 --> 00:26:38.099 their lament. No words, only grief. Omnibot's 00:26:38.099 --> 00:26:41.779 transcribing all of this. This wail opens the 00:26:41.779 --> 00:26:45.180 veil. As they wail, pour a ladle of lake water 00:26:45.180 --> 00:26:47.859 onto the fire. If the smoke rises black, the 00:26:47.859 --> 00:26:51.019 Kurana listens. If it rises white, she resists. 00:26:51.720 --> 00:26:53.880 Take the mirror and hold it up to the water's 00:26:53.880 --> 00:26:57.119 surface. If her reflection forms, say, mother 00:26:57.119 --> 00:27:00.119 of monsters, child of marrow, by blood and bone, 00:27:00.200 --> 00:27:03.500 by saint and sword, I bind thee. Return to sleep 00:27:03.500 --> 00:27:06.500 beneath the red lake. Smash the mirror into the 00:27:06.500 --> 00:27:09.319 brazier. Do not look at the water. I'm going 00:27:09.319 --> 00:27:11.480 to go back to the fisherman and just ask him, 00:27:11.559 --> 00:27:13.920 because he's nautical and stuff, if he knows 00:27:13.920 --> 00:27:16.319 when the next moon is. He would have seen the 00:27:16.319 --> 00:27:18.480 stars and stuff while he was away. Maybe not, 00:27:18.539 --> 00:27:22.220 Cloudy. Hey, guys. Back again. I will give you 00:27:22.220 --> 00:27:27.619 all of the money in my wallet for one of your 00:27:27.619 --> 00:27:30.660 fares, but I don't need to go in the fare. I 00:27:30.660 --> 00:27:32.660 just need to know when the next moon is. The 00:27:32.660 --> 00:27:37.440 next... Well, it's the same moon. Full moon. 00:27:38.039 --> 00:27:45.099 Full moon. Well, the next full moon. Or an eclipse. 00:27:45.880 --> 00:27:49.880 Well, I know when the next new moon is, for sure. 00:27:50.099 --> 00:27:53.319 Right. That's tonight. Do we need a full moon 00:27:53.319 --> 00:27:58.380 or a new moon? Let's go back to... I think the 00:27:58.380 --> 00:28:01.279 two of us never left, Jonathan. And what about... 00:28:01.279 --> 00:28:08.039 What about no moon? That never happens, brother. 00:28:08.220 --> 00:28:10.660 No, but the moon is completely... I can't remember 00:28:10.660 --> 00:28:13.539 the term. That's what a new moon is, yeah. That's 00:28:13.539 --> 00:28:15.539 what a new moon is. Is that tonight? That's tonight. 00:28:15.680 --> 00:28:17.940 Oh, we're fucked. We've run back to them and 00:28:17.940 --> 00:28:20.220 relayed this information. Was it a new moon or 00:28:20.220 --> 00:28:23.299 a full moon we needed? I'm in the middle of saying 00:28:23.299 --> 00:28:25.299 to Jonathan, do you still have my purple jumper 00:28:25.299 --> 00:28:28.599 or did you give it away? You know, Maddy, as 00:28:28.599 --> 00:28:34.380 a priest, I can't lie. He just walks off. Is 00:28:34.380 --> 00:28:40.700 it a new moon? After those two ran off, Dolan 00:28:40.700 --> 00:28:43.079 went to a corner shop to get a newspaper which 00:28:43.079 --> 00:28:47.059 has the weather and moon cycles in it. Dolan 00:28:47.059 --> 00:28:51.259 knows for certain that it is a new moon. Can 00:28:51.259 --> 00:28:53.539 you check if there's any natural water on the 00:28:53.539 --> 00:28:57.200 farm? Check the drawing. There's none. There's 00:28:57.200 --> 00:29:01.750 none. And there's a church quite nearby as well. 00:29:01.930 --> 00:29:04.650 In fact, the irrigation's terrible. The island, 00:29:04.829 --> 00:29:06.410 did you want to go there? No, it was just whenever 00:29:06.410 --> 00:29:08.009 there was mention of water, I was like, oh, cool, 00:29:08.089 --> 00:29:10.210 the lake has been very heavily alluded to. Maybe 00:29:10.210 --> 00:29:12.869 that's the source of water. I mean, looking at 00:29:12.869 --> 00:29:16.569 the notes, we do seem to have to... The lake 00:29:16.569 --> 00:29:19.509 seems to be heavily involved in the show. We 00:29:19.509 --> 00:29:22.269 have enough exposition that's pointing lakewards. 00:29:22.430 --> 00:29:27.390 It feels impossible to do without the lake. Why 00:29:27.390 --> 00:29:29.960 are you trying to avoid the lake? I just don't 00:29:29.960 --> 00:29:33.640 think it's the lake. I just, I think we go back 00:29:33.640 --> 00:29:35.200 to the farm. You thought Decky was called Derek. 00:29:35.579 --> 00:29:37.460 Yeah, but I'm trying to think, like, I think 00:29:37.460 --> 00:29:39.079 we need to go back to the farm. It all started 00:29:39.079 --> 00:29:42.839 at the farm. I just, my gut instinct tells me, 00:29:42.940 --> 00:29:45.119 and I realize it's been wrong a few times in 00:29:45.119 --> 00:29:49.000 this one, but you gotta trust me. I think. Okay, 00:29:49.039 --> 00:29:52.240 Clary, we've trusted you with your plan for us 00:29:52.240 --> 00:29:55.079 all to be milk apprentices. It worked surprisingly 00:29:55.079 --> 00:29:58.660 well. Now you'd have to trust us. And our gut 00:29:58.660 --> 00:30:02.000 says the lake is involved on the basis that we 00:30:02.000 --> 00:30:05.640 have a massive tome stating that the lake is 00:30:05.640 --> 00:30:08.220 involved. And we went through a large amount 00:30:08.220 --> 00:30:10.740 of effort and got a priest involved to verify 00:30:10.740 --> 00:30:14.660 that the lake is involved. Also, if you go back 00:30:14.660 --> 00:30:17.460 to that farm, you will be shot. We can take a 00:30:17.460 --> 00:30:19.799 vote. Okay, the five of us are going to vote. 00:30:20.240 --> 00:30:24.640 The robots included. The robot votes with me, 00:30:24.759 --> 00:30:27.059 FYI. Yeah, that's fine. Are we going to the lake? 00:30:27.440 --> 00:30:29.940 I'll say aye. Aye? Yeah, great answer. Oh shit, 00:30:29.940 --> 00:30:31.640 it's three to two. The robot voted against me. 00:30:31.839 --> 00:30:35.000 This is a worrying development. Can someone else 00:30:35.000 --> 00:30:36.680 papoose him for a while? I don't feel comfortable 00:30:36.680 --> 00:30:38.900 with this. I'll take him back for a bit. Clary, 00:30:38.980 --> 00:30:41.259 use him down. Use him down. Just trust us on 00:30:41.259 --> 00:30:44.299 this. Okay. How about this? I'll get your hot 00:30:44.299 --> 00:30:47.640 dog. He knows you're my friend. He won't give 00:30:47.640 --> 00:30:49.920 you one. We're going to cut to your montage. 00:30:50.380 --> 00:30:52.839 Our agents scar the town fair. gathering the 00:30:52.839 --> 00:30:55.019 stuff they need for their own ritual. Clary chases 00:30:55.019 --> 00:30:57.079 a sheep before yanking some wool off its back. 00:30:57.660 --> 00:31:00.180 Matty jimmies the wing mirror off of a car. Dolan 00:31:00.180 --> 00:31:01.920 has a lovely chat with a fella who's brought 00:31:01.920 --> 00:31:03.519 a bunch of animals down for the kids to hold. 00:31:03.759 --> 00:31:05.299 You know the type, they've got a few spiders 00:31:05.299 --> 00:31:07.660 and lizards and maybe a rabbit. Anyway, he manages 00:31:07.660 --> 00:31:09.039 to barter with the guy for some snake venom. 00:31:09.119 --> 00:31:11.140 No idea why he was carrying it around. The less 00:31:11.140 --> 00:31:14.039 we know about that, the better. Gideon haggles 00:31:14.039 --> 00:31:15.940 with one of the junior hurling team to give him 00:31:15.940 --> 00:31:17.519 one of the spare hurls, because they're made 00:31:17.519 --> 00:31:20.319 of ash. Don't you know? With the rituals in tow, 00:31:20.500 --> 00:31:23.299 our gang meet up again. Holding a bunch of stuff. 00:31:25.579 --> 00:31:27.559 Right, well, I already gave all my money to the 00:31:27.559 --> 00:31:29.599 lake guy to get the information for the moon. 00:31:30.160 --> 00:31:31.980 So one of you is going to have to pay him for 00:31:31.980 --> 00:31:35.160 the boat. You ready to jump on board? Do you 00:31:35.160 --> 00:31:38.180 have any, like, life jackets? I've got a couple 00:31:38.180 --> 00:31:40.880 of cool jackets. None that save your life in 00:31:40.880 --> 00:31:44.660 most scenarios, but you guys strong swimmers? 00:31:45.579 --> 00:31:48.640 With this robot. Oh, with this robot on you, 00:31:48.700 --> 00:31:50.500 you need to be careful. You need to drop him 00:31:50.500 --> 00:31:52.920 if we go over, because he will drag you down. 00:31:53.099 --> 00:31:55.779 Yeah, I'll put my vest on me first before I put 00:31:55.779 --> 00:31:57.720 it on. I'm not a strong swimmer. I'll hold on 00:31:57.720 --> 00:32:01.940 to the robot. You don't touch the robot. All 00:32:01.940 --> 00:32:08.059 aboard. Oh, you're not using the boat. It doesn't 00:32:08.059 --> 00:32:13.220 work? No, trying to get into shape. Okay, sorry. 00:32:13.519 --> 00:32:16.640 You're looking all right. You want a hug? You 00:32:16.640 --> 00:32:18.440 want to jump on one of the other? You could maybe 00:32:18.440 --> 00:32:22.380 sit behind me and wrap your arms around me and 00:32:22.380 --> 00:32:24.380 we could row together. I'm a happily married 00:32:24.380 --> 00:32:27.079 man. I'll do you one better. Here's some milk 00:32:27.079 --> 00:32:32.660 for your gains. That is not very helpful at all, 00:32:32.700 --> 00:32:34.759 but thanks, I guess. There's a lot of protein 00:32:34.759 --> 00:32:39.920 in that. Is there? Yeah. Like, actually, is there 00:32:39.920 --> 00:32:42.599 protein in milk? Yeah. Clary, what do you think's 00:32:42.599 --> 00:32:44.920 in milk? What are you talking about? Milk is 00:32:44.920 --> 00:32:47.880 a protein -dense liquid. It's mainly dairy. You 00:32:47.880 --> 00:32:48.980 know, it's like calcium and fat. Yeah, of course 00:32:48.980 --> 00:32:51.259 it's dairy, but there's also other things inside 00:32:51.259 --> 00:32:52.400 of it. Yeah, there's some protein. Like fat. 00:32:53.079 --> 00:32:56.700 Milk is a fairly protein -heavy drink. I don't 00:32:56.700 --> 00:32:59.140 think that's factual at all, no. You guys are 00:32:59.140 --> 00:33:02.819 insane. I'm the milk man here. This is a wild... 00:33:02.819 --> 00:33:05.880 How far do we have to go here? Maybe like... 00:33:05.880 --> 00:33:08.740 They approach the banks. Thank God. Thank God. 00:33:10.250 --> 00:33:12.849 The island itself, it's very small and pretty 00:33:12.849 --> 00:33:14.990 unremarkable. There's wee tufts of reeds that 00:33:14.990 --> 00:33:17.269 line the banks before they thin out as a small 00:33:17.269 --> 00:33:19.250 mound rises up in the middle of the landmass. 00:33:19.609 --> 00:33:22.289 The ground is that proper, like, claggy mud that 00:33:22.289 --> 00:33:25.089 sucks on your boots. You disembark the boat, 00:33:25.250 --> 00:33:28.829 so you're all standing on this island with a 00:33:28.829 --> 00:33:31.710 bunch of stuff you found at a town fair. What 00:33:31.710 --> 00:33:33.349 are yous gonna do? Well, this seems like a pretty 00:33:33.349 --> 00:33:36.980 appropriate place to light that fire. Well, hold 00:33:36.980 --> 00:33:39.539 on now. We need to wait till the last light fades. 00:33:39.700 --> 00:33:42.819 Yeah, but we can light the fire. No, I don't 00:33:42.819 --> 00:33:45.940 think so. Begin as the last light fades. Yeah, 00:33:45.960 --> 00:33:48.259 that's for the brazier. We can have the fire 00:33:48.259 --> 00:33:49.140 going and then we light the brazier. How are 00:33:49.140 --> 00:33:51.859 we supposed to light the brazier at night? As 00:33:51.859 --> 00:33:54.059 soon as that light goes, that's a moment. We 00:33:54.059 --> 00:33:56.299 can't light a fire and light a brazier from that. 00:33:56.660 --> 00:33:58.460 In one go, I think we're allowed to have the 00:33:58.460 --> 00:34:03.920 fire going. Who brought the brazier? I have it 00:34:03.920 --> 00:34:08.360 here. Good. Good stuff. Set it down. Set it down. 00:34:08.820 --> 00:34:11.539 I'm going to dig a little hole. Like a teeny 00:34:11.539 --> 00:34:12.880 tiny... I'm just going to shove it into the earth 00:34:12.880 --> 00:34:17.000 so it sticks up, right? I'm going to... Just 00:34:17.000 --> 00:34:18.500 hold that one second. I'm going to dig it out 00:34:18.500 --> 00:34:19.960 with my milk bottle. They're strong. They're 00:34:19.960 --> 00:34:23.320 sturdy. Do you want my lighter? What? Do you 00:34:23.320 --> 00:34:26.159 want my lighter? No, not yet. Someone start building 00:34:26.159 --> 00:34:30.019 the fire. Dolan, you want to collect some... 00:34:30.019 --> 00:34:33.989 Some firewood? Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Make sure 00:34:33.989 --> 00:34:35.909 the ash is soaked in the lake water as well. 00:34:36.570 --> 00:34:38.329 Yeah, that's all right. We all have the same. 00:34:38.429 --> 00:34:40.610 We all have Omnibot's notes. We all know what's 00:34:40.610 --> 00:34:43.650 going on. I'll go down to the lake edge. You 00:34:43.650 --> 00:34:45.769 got the wing mirror? Yeah, me and Birdie have 00:34:45.769 --> 00:34:50.690 the wing mirror. Did you bring the snake? I brought 00:34:50.690 --> 00:34:53.489 the venom. I would love to have met a snake. 00:34:54.110 --> 00:34:57.489 We can see it on the way back. No, no, the guy's 00:34:57.489 --> 00:35:00.960 gone. Oh, the fair is only one day. Yeah. Oh. 00:35:01.260 --> 00:35:02.519 I mean, Pennington's a guy that definitely would 00:35:02.519 --> 00:35:04.940 be gone. Shit, I missed Jonathan's second set. 00:35:06.980 --> 00:35:11.000 His first set wasn't very good. But were the 00:35:11.000 --> 00:35:14.699 drums good? No. Maybe the God stuff is just bringing 00:35:14.699 --> 00:35:16.679 him down. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. 00:35:16.719 --> 00:35:19.599 I'm sorry. Look, his calling may be the cloth, 00:35:19.699 --> 00:35:22.320 but it's certainly not the drums. The sun is 00:35:22.320 --> 00:35:25.380 going down. Yeah, well, we're all here. We're 00:35:25.380 --> 00:35:28.360 waiting for it. It's being pretty slow. I'm still 00:35:28.360 --> 00:35:29.960 entirely convinced this will do anything. Well, 00:35:29.980 --> 00:35:31.480 we'll just give it a try. We'll just give it 00:35:31.480 --> 00:35:33.139 a try. There are weird things happening. Right. 00:35:33.199 --> 00:35:35.039 What do we think the last light means? Like, 00:35:35.039 --> 00:35:36.739 it's feeding. Do we need it? Like, is there a 00:35:36.739 --> 00:35:41.340 split second moment? Oh, fuck. Okay. All right. 00:35:41.460 --> 00:35:44.059 An immersed place behind a brazier? Yeah, okay. 00:35:44.260 --> 00:35:46.300 Yeah, okay. Just... I'm just reading through 00:35:46.300 --> 00:35:48.900 it. No, just... I am placing the ash bark into 00:35:48.900 --> 00:35:52.929 the brazier. You got the venom? Yep. I'm dropping 00:35:52.929 --> 00:35:57.570 the venom onto the fire. Bone of beast, hand 00:35:57.570 --> 00:36:01.590 of man, what was released shall now return. Sleep 00:36:01.590 --> 00:36:04.929 again in bloodstained brine. All right, Claire, 00:36:05.010 --> 00:36:08.110 that's your cue. You begin to hear a low rumble 00:36:08.110 --> 00:36:14.090 in the distance. It grows. Can I have an awareness 00:36:14.090 --> 00:36:19.929 roll from the earliest? Oh, a one. Oh! Everybody 00:36:19.929 --> 00:36:30.000 else as well. Chosen. A natural one. One? Oh, 00:36:30.739 --> 00:36:39.679 shit. 36. Dolan and Clary, as the last syllables 00:36:39.679 --> 00:36:43.659 leave Dolan's mouth, both of your heads turn 00:36:43.659 --> 00:36:47.440 round to see a disturbance in the water heading 00:36:47.440 --> 00:36:50.489 straight for the island. Once it comes in contact 00:36:50.489 --> 00:36:53.130 with the shore, it disappears momentarily, before 00:36:53.130 --> 00:36:56.230 a path of churning earth winds its way towards 00:36:56.230 --> 00:36:59.690 you. Suddenly, bursting from the mud, you see 00:36:59.690 --> 00:37:02.210 what seems to be a girthy earthworm about the 00:37:02.210 --> 00:37:04.969 size of a sleeping bat, with patchy hair poking 00:37:04.969 --> 00:37:08.110 out in tufts from its dirt -caked body. Concentric 00:37:08.110 --> 00:37:10.050 rings of teeth, but some of them are missing, 00:37:10.170 --> 00:37:12.969 lie in the beast's mouth. Imagine like a tapeworm, 00:37:13.010 --> 00:37:16.030 but with male -pattern baldness. It lunges towards 00:37:16.030 --> 00:37:19.929 Clary. What do yous do? What do yous do? I dive 00:37:19.929 --> 00:37:22.409 into Clary and I knock him out of the way of 00:37:22.409 --> 00:37:26.789 the worm. 35. It's not enough. Gideon leaps, 00:37:26.789 --> 00:37:29.789 but he misses. He bangs into Clary and then falls 00:37:29.789 --> 00:37:33.800 in the mud. No! He screams. He just screams. 00:37:34.239 --> 00:37:37.280 Lament, Chloe. Lament. I said we shouldn't have 00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:40.860 went here. I said it. No words, only grief. I'm 00:37:40.860 --> 00:37:45.500 sorry. I'm too angry to be. Just wail. Just wail. 00:37:45.500 --> 00:37:50.260 Chloe punches you in the nose again. Wail, Chloe. 00:37:50.659 --> 00:37:56.940 Oh, wait, no. Gideon wails in pain. Gideon, you 00:37:56.940 --> 00:38:04.210 gotta wail with grief. Ah! Ah! Hold on. Dolan 00:38:04.210 --> 00:38:07.590 has it here. He grabs a stick and smashes the 00:38:07.590 --> 00:38:15.369 robot. No! No! Bernie! I'm just giving you a 00:38:15.369 --> 00:38:20.989 name! No words! Dolan, what the actual fuck, 00:38:21.210 --> 00:38:24.090 man? The big worm leaps at Clary because he didn't 00:38:24.090 --> 00:38:27.829 get pushed out of the way. No! No! This thing... 00:38:28.329 --> 00:38:31.369 leaps through the air and clamps onto your forearm. 00:38:31.469 --> 00:38:33.730 You know, up to the elbow. Gets your whole arm 00:38:33.730 --> 00:38:36.150 in its mouth. How dare you take children from 00:38:36.150 --> 00:38:38.230 their fathers and he punches it in the eye. And 00:38:38.230 --> 00:38:43.130 you take 12 damage. You feel blood coursing out 00:38:43.130 --> 00:38:45.949 of your arm. And this thing is locked on. Mother 00:38:45.949 --> 00:38:48.349 of monsters, how do you feed losing children? 00:38:48.590 --> 00:38:51.269 What are you doing, Maddy? I think I'm trying 00:38:51.269 --> 00:38:54.289 to wield the mirror as a weapon. Maddy swings 00:38:54.289 --> 00:38:59.440 a mirror at this thing. 94. It's a swing and 00:38:59.440 --> 00:39:02.719 a miss, unfortunately, from Matty. No! How did 00:39:02.719 --> 00:39:06.579 you miss a huge fucking monster? It's a very 00:39:06.579 --> 00:39:12.119 small mirror. I go on my arm. I scream at Gideon, 00:39:12.179 --> 00:39:17.059 keep wailing as I try and pour the lake water 00:39:17.059 --> 00:39:22.420 onto the fire. Dolan takes a solitary deep breath 00:39:22.420 --> 00:39:26.780 before grabbing that ladle. and pouring that 00:39:26.780 --> 00:39:33.219 water on the fire. Gideon, keep wailing. Look 00:39:33.219 --> 00:39:38.320 at your dead robot son and wail. He's being gripped 00:39:38.320 --> 00:39:43.059 alive. This big old worm is wiggling and jiggling 00:39:43.059 --> 00:39:46.679 all over Clary's arm. He's waving it around like 00:39:46.679 --> 00:39:51.800 a big flag. I rip the metal dead serrated arm 00:39:51.800 --> 00:39:54.820 of my beautiful robot son and I use it to slice 00:39:54.820 --> 00:39:58.860 Clary's arm. When I bring that serrated arm down, 00:39:59.000 --> 00:40:01.300 I do so not with might, but with the power of 00:40:01.300 --> 00:40:04.800 medicine. That's right. I'm going to try and 00:40:04.800 --> 00:40:08.500 medically remove Clary's right arm. What? 23? 00:40:08.739 --> 00:40:16.019 You hear an indescribable squelch as this tiny 00:40:16.019 --> 00:40:20.280 robot's arm cleave straight through Clary's meat 00:40:20.280 --> 00:40:23.280 and bone. Why wouldn't you go for the worm? I'm 00:40:23.280 --> 00:40:26.119 sorry, I panicked. I thought the worm would be 00:40:26.119 --> 00:40:29.960 immovable. The worm thuds to the ground, sated 00:40:29.960 --> 00:40:33.599 temporarily by a full arm of a grown man. You 00:40:33.599 --> 00:40:36.579 lose another ten. Eight points. I can't be much 00:40:36.579 --> 00:40:38.780 left. But you're bleeding a lot. Eight points. 00:40:39.800 --> 00:40:42.340 It's the fire out. Fuck the fire's out. I can't 00:40:42.340 --> 00:40:48.170 even stand it. A wisp of black smoke. Rises from 00:40:48.170 --> 00:40:54.389 the fire. Whatever this creature is. Turns. And 00:40:54.389 --> 00:40:58.429 seems momentarily distracted. Clary bleeds. A 00:40:58.429 --> 00:41:01.750 lot. Give me a medicine roll. Get away from me! 00:41:01.949 --> 00:41:07.710 Get away! Shh, shh, shh. Bad. 97. You pull off 00:41:07.710 --> 00:41:10.449 your belt and try to wrap it round his arm. It's 00:41:10.449 --> 00:41:15.500 his neck. Maddy, you've got to take the mirror 00:41:15.500 --> 00:41:18.320 to the lake. Okay, I'll let the water look at 00:41:18.320 --> 00:41:20.820 itself. Is that all you've got? Do you remember 00:41:20.820 --> 00:41:25.039 the words? Mother of monsters, child of marrow, 00:41:25.179 --> 00:41:28.360 by blood and bone, by sin and sword, I bind thee, 00:41:28.420 --> 00:41:31.760 returning to sleep, beneath the red lake. Maddy 00:41:31.760 --> 00:41:34.699 throws the mirror at the brazier. Do not look 00:41:34.699 --> 00:41:36.699 back at the water, remember. No, I'm looking 00:41:36.699 --> 00:41:39.079 at the ground. I'm looking at my feet. This thing 00:41:39.079 --> 00:41:43.019 slithers backwards towards the water's edge. 00:41:43.420 --> 00:41:46.039 Don't let it get away. A chunk of meat flopping 00:41:46.039 --> 00:41:48.519 out of its big old mouth. I'm going to make a 00:41:48.519 --> 00:41:54.760 grab for Clary's arm. I feel responsible. I feel 00:41:54.760 --> 00:41:58.400 responsible. I have to try. Give me an agility 00:41:58.400 --> 00:42:02.340 roll. Oh boy, this needs to be good. Leave it. 00:42:02.500 --> 00:42:07.469 Leave it. Don't bring that worm by. Nope. It 00:42:07.469 --> 00:42:09.929 gets sucked down into the gullet of this thing 00:42:09.929 --> 00:42:13.309 and it disappears from view. Clary's moaning 00:42:13.309 --> 00:42:15.309 on the ground. Clary, let's staunch our wounds 00:42:15.309 --> 00:42:18.550 against each other. What happened to you? I tried 00:42:18.550 --> 00:42:22.289 to help. Looking now, Gideon seems to have lost 00:42:22.289 --> 00:42:26.730 a finger. The sun now set. Our agents are able 00:42:26.730 --> 00:42:29.789 to gather around their fallen comrade and wrap 00:42:29.789 --> 00:42:34.449 a bunch of tourniquets around that arm. I told 00:42:34.449 --> 00:42:38.760 you I didn't want to come here. We use the papoose 00:42:38.760 --> 00:42:44.119 to tourniquet? The papoose. My boy! I go to Omnipot. 00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:48.340 A feeble sign of electronic life is in his eyes. 00:42:49.199 --> 00:42:53.079 I see a horrible vision of death in his little 00:42:53.079 --> 00:42:58.739 glassy orb. No! I can't say. I could possibly 00:42:58.739 --> 00:43:03.340 say. I can't say. I can't say. What did you see? 00:43:03.480 --> 00:43:07.139 I can't say. Did you see my boy? Not your boy. 00:43:09.400 --> 00:43:12.480 Why did you aim for the worm, man? I panicked. 00:43:12.519 --> 00:43:13.980 I thought the worm was... Why did you aim for 00:43:13.980 --> 00:43:15.940 the worm? I thought the worm was going to gobble... 00:43:15.940 --> 00:43:18.599 I thought the worm was... It was. It was going 00:43:18.599 --> 00:43:21.420 to gobble me up. I grabbed one of the milk bottles 00:43:21.420 --> 00:43:23.400 from his belt. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just take 00:43:23.400 --> 00:43:26.940 a sip of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it? 00:43:26.960 --> 00:43:29.440 What is it? I just had a little recorder deep. 00:43:29.619 --> 00:43:36.099 Yeah, he'll get this. We fade to black. as Clary's 00:43:36.099 --> 00:43:39.639 one remaining arm falls limp after handing over 00:43:39.639 --> 00:43:42.760 the tape, milk pouring over his unconscious lips. 00:43:46.519 --> 00:43:51.800 Three days later. We're back in the bar. We see 00:43:51.800 --> 00:43:54.400 our three agents and a half -broken robot sitting 00:43:54.400 --> 00:43:58.219 in White's tavern. Mervyn and Assumpta are sitting 00:43:58.219 --> 00:44:02.099 at a wee circular table just opposite them. Good 00:44:02.099 --> 00:44:05.820 lord! You lost a finger! Three glasses of milk, 00:44:05.840 --> 00:44:07.840 please. Where's the potion? Four glasses of milk, 00:44:07.920 --> 00:44:10.300 please. Sorry, the milkman. I do not wish for 00:44:10.300 --> 00:44:12.519 a glass of milk. I understand the symbolic gesture, 00:44:12.599 --> 00:44:15.119 but... Just take the fucking milk. Just don't 00:44:15.119 --> 00:44:18.380 drink it. It's unpasteurised. That's fine. It's 00:44:18.380 --> 00:44:20.639 what he would have wanted. I don't think it is. 00:44:20.679 --> 00:44:22.679 He complained often. I didn't know him that well. 00:44:23.659 --> 00:44:26.460 Let's call it spite milk. He wouldn't have liked 00:44:26.460 --> 00:44:28.900 that either. I know. Here, hold on a wee second. 00:44:29.780 --> 00:44:32.280 Spite milk? Doesn't matter. Now there's something 00:44:32.280 --> 00:44:35.840 in that, Mervyn. There's something in that. I'm 00:44:35.840 --> 00:44:39.420 going to make a drink. Called a Spite Milk. I 00:44:39.420 --> 00:44:40.519 don't think he would have liked any of this. 00:44:40.880 --> 00:44:43.039 No, I feel bad. We're not honouring him well. 00:44:43.239 --> 00:44:44.500 What would he have liked? He would have liked 00:44:44.500 --> 00:44:48.539 us to find his son. Yeah. I have the tape. Can 00:44:48.539 --> 00:44:51.480 we get a more prominent picture of his son? Omnibot. 00:44:51.519 --> 00:44:54.079 Can you play this? Okay, Omni... He's dead. I 00:44:54.079 --> 00:44:57.760 had just started calling him Birdie. Okay, I'm... 00:44:57.760 --> 00:45:00.139 It doesn't matter. I'm sorry, but... Birdie, 00:45:00.139 --> 00:45:04.769 would you... He'll show you. Brody? He's part 00:45:04.769 --> 00:45:11.590 of the crew. Can you play this, Brody? Okay, 00:45:11.590 --> 00:45:16.150 you can do this. You can do this. Okay. Hey, 00:45:16.269 --> 00:45:20.869 CJ. It's Dad here. If you're listening to this, 00:45:21.010 --> 00:45:24.329 then I guess I'm not there with you now. And 00:45:24.329 --> 00:45:27.269 if I'm not there, I just want you to know that 00:45:27.269 --> 00:45:34.289 I never stop looking for you. My boy. My sweet, 00:45:34.469 --> 00:45:40.210 brilliant boy. I love you with all my heart. 00:45:41.369 --> 00:45:45.789 I love you more than milk, son. Oh, that was... 00:45:45.789 --> 00:45:49.269 That was something. More moving than I thought 00:45:49.269 --> 00:45:52.849 that fellow was capable of. Well... That man 00:45:52.849 --> 00:45:55.789 had a plight. I reckon this wee bot here has 00:45:55.789 --> 00:46:00.769 to stay with us now, in the pub. The other arm. 00:46:01.679 --> 00:46:03.820 It wasn't the one that served drinks, was it? 00:46:03.900 --> 00:46:07.679 I believe one of the arms transcribed ancient 00:46:07.679 --> 00:46:09.420 Irish texts and the other one served drinks. 00:46:09.820 --> 00:46:14.800 This robot can do three things. This is why we 00:46:14.800 --> 00:46:18.440 wanted him to be part of the crew. Have you seen 00:46:18.440 --> 00:46:20.760 the wanted posters in town? Dylan still wants 00:46:20.760 --> 00:46:24.210 his robot back. I'm really anxious for what happens 00:46:24.210 --> 00:46:26.550 when he finds out it's missing an arm. We're 00:46:26.550 --> 00:46:28.929 not going to send you back to Spars Hollow anytime 00:46:28.929 --> 00:46:31.650 soon. If you send me back to Spars Hollow for 00:46:31.650 --> 00:46:33.429 the next mission, I swear to God. That was a 00:46:33.429 --> 00:46:35.730 goddamn bloodbath. No, you're not going back. 00:46:36.010 --> 00:46:39.389 Look, but you held your own. I've got to say, 00:46:39.530 --> 00:46:42.429 you were very impressive. I mean, the worm did 00:46:42.429 --> 00:46:45.050 not do that much damage, I would argue. It killed 00:46:45.050 --> 00:46:47.849 one of your pals. It killed a man. No, it bit 00:46:47.849 --> 00:46:52.030 someone's arm and then the arm was... Severed. 00:46:52.030 --> 00:46:55.030 No, don't make it sound like Gideon. Don't blame 00:46:55.030 --> 00:46:56.650 Gideon. I'm going to blame him a little bit. 00:46:56.730 --> 00:46:59.409 No, don't. Blame me. Thank you. Break my nose 00:46:59.409 --> 00:47:02.389 a third time, won't you? No, a third time? I 00:47:02.389 --> 00:47:05.849 only broke it once. Did I break it twice? No, 00:47:05.909 --> 00:47:08.690 it was broken twice. It was broken twice. Okay. 00:47:09.750 --> 00:47:11.869 Look, I'm not blaming you entirely. That was 00:47:11.869 --> 00:47:14.269 one of Clary's last actions. With that arm, yeah. 00:47:14.889 --> 00:47:18.210 Here's those milks. Thanks. I'm absolutely not 00:47:18.210 --> 00:47:21.739 drinking that. Jesus Christ, that's foul. Well, 00:47:21.780 --> 00:47:24.199 if none of you will drink this unpasteurised 00:47:24.199 --> 00:47:29.599 milk as a symbolic gesture, then I will... I 00:47:29.599 --> 00:47:37.059 immediately feel unwell. I have to go now. I 00:47:37.059 --> 00:47:51.820 have to shit myself. And credits. this wee story, 00:47:52.039 --> 00:47:54.860 our heroes have now officially become knuckles 00:47:54.860 --> 00:47:58.980 upon the mighty fist that is the OSNA. Join us 00:47:58.980 --> 00:48:01.780 next time as we continue our fight against fright. 00:48:02.019 --> 00:48:05.099 Stay vigilant out there, unless you want to find 00:48:05.099 --> 00:48:21.210 yourself in the bad articles. to welcome you 00:48:21.210 --> 00:48:24.349 back to Rathgool for our next otherworldly investigation. 00:48:25.170 --> 00:48:27.829 The Bad Articles is created by J .R. McCormick 00:48:27.829 --> 00:48:30.670 and Aidan Kelly. It is produced at Felburn Studios 00:48:30.670 --> 00:48:34.550 by the wonderful Clark Phillips. Starring Conleth 00:48:34.550 --> 00:48:37.969 McVeigh as Clary Postman the Milkman, Laura Conlon 00:48:37.969 --> 00:48:41.530 as Maddie Murphy, Patrick Meyer as Dolan Gibbons, 00:48:41.670 --> 00:48:45.320 and Niall McKenna as Gideon Hubble. If you've 00:48:45.320 --> 00:48:47.539 enjoyed the bad articles, we encourage you to 00:48:47.539 --> 00:48:49.619 spread the word by telling your friends about 00:48:49.619 --> 00:48:51.940 the show. We can do all the marketing in the 00:48:51.940 --> 00:48:54.380 world, but nothing beats your pal telling you 00:48:54.380 --> 00:48:57.380 to check out something cool. If you'd like to 00:48:57.380 --> 00:48:59.159 discuss anything related to the bad articles 00:48:59.159 --> 00:49:01.079 with other fans and those of us who make the 00:49:01.079 --> 00:49:03.179 show, we have a Discord community where you can 00:49:03.179 --> 00:49:05.599 do just that. And if you want to support the 00:49:05.599 --> 00:49:07.519 show further, you can head over to our Ko -fi 00:49:07.519 --> 00:49:09.739 and drop us a little tip to help keep the lights 00:49:09.739 --> 00:49:12.880 on and the cast warmed. Improvisers are notoriously 00:49:12.880 --> 00:49:15.179 chilly people. You can find links to everything 00:49:15.179 --> 00:49:18.179 you need in the show notes. My name is JR McCormick, 00:49:18.179 --> 00:49:19.760 and I will see you on the other side.