I'll just say record and we're just gonna let
it flow like magic. All right Sounds good to
me. Well, where are we at? All right here Think
things this is it show Oh recording. Oh, yeah,
we're totally honest. We're doing it right now.
Here it comes Wing it Yeah Yeti or not here we
come Here we go again back at it again this time.
We have like details and we stories prepared
We prepared you know like a real show as much
as you'd expect for the second time. Yeah, it's
twice as good Yeah, at least twice Okay, everything's
good all right. We are on our completely portable
rig right now. Oh, yeah Okay. I'm excited. You
gotta we gotta use the buttons. Yeah. Why not?
That's what makes the show fun. For sure. So
we totally have this ready to go. We're on battery
power. We're remote location in the backyard.
As far as way we could get. It just didn't work
out. We were going to go off in the woods somewhere
and we're totally prepared to do that. We're,
you know, a stone's throw from ramp this house.
Yeah. You know, who knows you we could run into
some high acts. Do you know the deal with her?
Yeah, a little bit I was about I was talking
about like on the way here. Okay, so like what
you got? I think she's like a 5 ,000 year old
warrior, but it has a weird sort of English but
not really accent So none of it makes sense.
It's like have you heard it? Oh videos and stuff.
Oh, yeah, she's like man spreading I'm an ancient
warrior and channel your whatever. Trying to
sound like Gandalf. Yeah, bad Gandalf. Yeah.
That makes sense. Somebody I was listening to,
I don't remember who it was, was saying that,
there's another podcaster obviously, that they
knew somebody that went or they, whatever, somebody
went and... the people that invited them were
telling them, you know, all dressed up in these
robes and doing whatever, and they paid, I don't
know what it was to get in, and they were like,
hey, are you having fun? Isn't this great? And
the person was like, no, what is everybody here
stupid? What is going on? They're like, yeah,
I know, it's like, but isn't this fun? And then
they clicked and they said, oh. Oh This is like
a big Richie rich game. It's who cares who it's
let's go have fun. And I said damn it You know
if I had a lot of money, I'm you're right I might
go and just join in and you know go in the moment
and be like, oh, yeah We're waiting for the fucking
spaceship to show up Yeah, they believe in some
weird stuff man So from what I gather so, you
know, she owns a bunch of the properties here
in town Yeah, this area is Hotbed for weird stuff.
So it's like hey, we're step one closer. We're
going location. So Val my wife she used to work
at the Starbucks here in town And she said they
would come through the line like all the time,
you know every day like just like everyone else
to get the coffee Yeah, but uh people yeah, but
I guess they had a thing like they believe They
believe the lizard people is like a real deal
like a real thing. Oh, yeah, and apparently they
believe from what I understand I could be wrong
that under mount rainier there's like a entrance
to another I don't know dimension a middle earth
or something okay and uh in there that's where
all the unicorns and all the mythological stuff
is you know and but also these reptile people
and they're they're the bad guys and so they're
I guess they're I don't know if they're like
allergic to copper or It scares them or whatever
but copper is what's used to ward them off and
that would say how like they come and they have
all sorts of gaudy copper stuff on them, you
know, and yeah, i've seen them out there with
like their robes and Wizardry stuff dude. So
hold on This makes sense why they're not out
in arizona That's too damn hot dude for all those
robes. Well, I mean it would make sense for lizards,
right? But there's a lot of copper there Yeah,
the copper state so It doesn't work. That's why
they're up here. But I guess so you you can tell
which businesses that she owns Because they have
copper roofs Rooves does this tarp bucks have
copper root or is they just they just getting
coffee? No, they were just getting coffee, but
but they had a one of the guys who worked there
I won't say he was a cop now, but he put like
a fake little like toy iguana thing like on top
of the To try and mess with them We should uh
Just go around and start counting the ruse Yeah,
I know there's a few and there's the car wash
right here and I Think the little street, you
know, she's got a store. Yeah down the main street
over there. Oh, no. No, I've been there I was
like what the hell is all I've been there It's
just like random little whatever it's just stuff
that she sells just random Stuff they had like
this birdcage like you could fit a person in
a birdcage for fifty thousand dollars and i'm
like This isn't It's it's isn't where you think
it is. No, it's like this is just decorative.
Yeah, it's not functional. It's it's Probably
made in china I'm like, Oh, 100 % made in China.
I know that this is Oh, this is my business.
I have to spend money on this thing. Yeah. Oh,
wait. Oh, I'm done already. Hold on. I can mute
you check inside. We're all like professional.
Yeah. As you don't realize how much you say.
But I'm working on that. Yeah. Or like Yeah,
or like like all the time he used to say that
a lot. Mm -hmm so We'll get there Bear with us,
but we are totally next time. I think like um,
we're probably gonna Probably gonna go I Don't
know where we got to just pick a spot, but I
really just want to go at night time and just
Have a beer or whatever We'll just talk about
whatever comes whatever story we got planned
out. Yeah and Totally be Locked and loaded because
I ain't letting no damn Bigfoot not a chance
to touch me or nothing. Nope. So This time prepared
we're like was legit. Mm -hmm We have a story.
All right, let's hear it. And this is all your
fault Yeah, just so you know if this sucks Because
you'd better take it. I'll take this one. You
had mentioned this. You started this. You mentioned
bat squash. Yeah, I didn't know anything about
bat squash. So neither did I until I saw it on
my phone. Well, and that's I realized that was
the thing. I immediately sent it to you immediately.
Like, yes, we I know exactly who needs to see
this. No, no, no, no, no, bat squad. So. So I
went to our handy -dandy assistant and said,
hey, I need you to write me up some story here
about, or something, blah, blah, blah. I'm in
the middle of a show, woman. I heard she hates
that one, so I'm just gonna say, hey, babe, baby,
don't ever listen to this show. I might say something
dumb and totally forget that I ever did that.
Know my wife is 100 % gonna listen to the show.
So damn it. So we got to really try. Yeah, okay
Probably probably not post that first No, the
first one was fine, but side tracks you see what
I did there. Yeah side side tracks Val I'm sorry
Whatever we did did whatever we do We're trying
to be better. I promise trying to be better men.
That's what this is about It's not about say,
yeah, this is a self -improvement show I don't
even know what you label this under because it
was like, where do you like conspiracies? Yeah,
what wasn't there? Oh, it's called spiritual.
I'm surprised how many things there are like
this out there. Oh I mean, we're not even off
of I'm surprised. I'm not surprised because people
are dumb. Oh, yeah I mean in the spirit of conspiracies
Because we didn't want to get into the politics
and because that led us down a bad road Yeah,
it's really easy to get mad. But just in honor
of Charlie Kirk Brief sidetracked mention How
many conspiracies have already come out about
all that dude, I know Candice Owens is over there
ranting about He's saying a lot of stuff man
a bunch of about bees And the university, I don't
know. Bees is a big deal, dude. That's important
stuff, man. I was listening to it and I was like,
I'm just gonna turn this off. I can't anymore.
I'm done. It wasn't even her show. I was listening
to Steven Crowder and they were talking about
it and how she's just going off the deep end.
And I went, nope, I'm done. It's like something
happened and it's bad. And instead of just leaving
it at that everyone's got some theory about how
there's three shooters and it's JFK Times 9 -eleven.
Nobody even knows what that is Oh Man we need
to you know, we could review that movie too because
that is a great movie with JFK team team America.
Oh Fuck yeah. Oh, yeah, so Okay, there was a
little brief refram, but we do have a story about
bad squash that we can try to get through and
You know, this would be hard. But at some point
we need to get because bat squash is reportedly
not far from here That's that's what I read.
So It might make sense if we just go up there
and I fully expect this to not be real No, yeah,
but it would be really cool if it was real You
know, well, if we can capture it and somebody
finds our portable rig and uploads it, it'd be
kind of like the Blair Witch Project. Oh, true.
You know, but it's the road cast project. I don't
know. I'm retarded. Never mind me. So just to
set the mood here, we got a little bit of something,
something super spooky. So in our story. The
bat -squatch is a fascinating cryptid. A creature
whose existence is reported in folklore and eyewitness
accounts, but remains unverified by mainstream
science. Well, who follows the science anyway?
Where are we with COVID? Often described as a
hybrid between a bat and a sasquatch, aka Bigfoot,
a bat -squatch is said to inhabit the dense forces
surrounding Mount St. Helens in Washington State.
That's nearby. That's really close. Yeah. That's
why it's totally saying. Its name is another
word that I can't read. Thank you, my assistant.
Thank you, vowels. Words and things. Anyway,
the name is basically a reflection of its reported
bat -like wings and ape -like body, first popularized
in the 1980s following the catastrophic eruption
of Mount St. Helens in 1980, coincidentally the
year I was born. Coincidence? I think not. I
do have a hairy body. Where am I? The legend
has endured through subsequent sightings, media
coverage, and even inspired cultural artifacts
like craft beer. What? I never heard of bat squash
beer. Bat squash brew? I would totally drink
some if I had some, but I've never heard of that.
If that's not a thing, I mean, you should have
bat squash brew. While skeptics attribute reports
to misidentifications or hoax, Believers point
to consistent descriptions and the creatures
ties to volcanic activity as evidence of something
extraordinary So the volcano rubbed it. So, of
course Pat squatch is real Well, hold on. That's
just the science volcano. Just follow the science
obviously And if we had a joker squash we'd we
did it in a nanana nanana bat squash Can I just
say if you have some sort of business or something
you're running if you don't use AI You really
should I'm gonna take that down just a notch
Because you're new. Oh, it's it's it's it's awesome.
Look, it's on a loop. Okay, it dies off There
we go. All right, just in the background just
enough. Okay, okay I think. I don't know. We
don't know what we're doing. Never mind us. You
should probably quit listening right now. Before
we start saying racist things. We will not. No.
No. We've learned our lesson. Did we? Did we
not? I don't know. Some say it was the greatest
show. That's what they say. Oh, back to this
one. Yeah. The Bat Squatch legend gained prominence
in June 1980 shortly after the explosive eruption
of Mike's butthole. Yeah. Mount St. Helens, which
devastated over 200 square miles of forest and
claimed 57 lives. You know, even though they
told everybody, hey, you should probably get
the hell off the mountain. It's going to blow.
I don't do that. Well, never mind. I don't want
to go on a random tangent there. That's what
we do. All right. Feel like a volcano erupting
is probably a pretty spontaneous thing Like granted
that's like I don't know if it's classified as
a active volcano or not. I don't know but It
seems like there's not a whole lot of heads up
when you get when he when goes off or erupts
did you ever watch that there's like a little
short film because there was a guy that lived
on the mountain and They were like, hey, it's
There's a lot of activity. It's probably gonna
blow here There was a guy that lived up there
and they like he didn't have power or nothing
just lived in the forest basically, okay, and
they came and warned him like specifically went
to him. Hey Yeah, there's a lot of there's a
lot of activities something's going on It's likely
to erupt here. We don't know when, but it's probably
going to go. And he's like, I'm not going nowhere.
I lived here for blah, blah, blah years. Boom.
He was gone. So they, they, they knew something
was up and then people just kind of, I'm stuck
in my ways. I've always lived here. It blows
up. I imagine if anyone, it's going to be a bunch
of people like that. Well, it makes, I mean,
I, I don't completely blame him. He probably
built his house out a lot. Yeah, if you're old
man living out in the middle of woods like Where
you gonna go your house blows up like yeah, okay.
My house is gone. I guess I don't want to live
So yeah, I'll build a new one. I guess I might
as well just good You might be able to move in
with bat squash. There you go right there so
With with that I killed people So this natural
disaster is often credited with awakening the
creature with some theories suggesting it emerged
from underground caves, disrupted by the blast.
The first widely reported sightings occurred
on June 27th, 1980, when a teenager named Brian
Canfield claimed to have encountered the beast
while driving near the mountains. So we got to
track this Brian guy down. Yeah, Brian Canfield
can't Cranston. Brian Cranston is any Malcolm
in the mill, Dad? Yeah, you're breaking bad.
Well, I guess we just gotta call him Brian Cranston.
He's not too busy cooking methanol. Well, I think
he's retired with that, right? Probably made
like a billion dollars. So according to Canfield's
account, as he drove through the ash covered
aftermath of the eruption, his car engine suddenly
stalled, probably because it was full of soot.
You moron. Stop driving around. I'm sorry. I'm
sorry, Brian. I didn't mean to. No, I did. We're
totally sorry. I'm just going to say sorry and
still be like, whatever. That was stupid. Probably
whatever we're doing. A massive winged figure
then landed on the hood, peering at him through
the windshield with glowing yellow eyes. Terrified,
Canfield restarted his vehicle and fled, later
describing the camera as local media. Oh, no,
sorry. Later describing the encounter to local
media. Reporter C .R. Roberts of the News Tribune
interviewed Canfield and coined the term bat
-squatch in 1994. No, in a 1994 article that
brought the story to international attention.
International attention? International! Two stations
probably. I've never even heard of this thing.
Neither have I. That's why I was interested.
This piece was published over a decade after
initial sightings reigniting interest in prompting
additional reports Following Kenfield story other
locals came forward in one notable account liquor
store owner. Oh It just writes itself. I said
hey assistant get the story ready. What do you
do? Of course you did That make that just makes
sense No, where were we here with the liquor
store owner In one notable account liquor store
owner Butch Whitaker reported spotting a similar
flying creature Butch Whitaker solid Wit taker
I think Whitaker. I think it's a little bit easier
to say for me Spotted a similar flying creature
from his private plane over what? Liquor store
owner fine This is good Flying around probably
wasted that this story is totally credible. Oh
Well, according to this, though, it was around
Mount St. Helens midday. So, I mean, it wasn't
nighttime. You know, so was it? I wonder how
far after the eruption or leading up to maybe.
I don't know. Sounds like after how far after
this was. Oh, that doesn't make any sense. I'm
sorry. You know, it's like night. So this happened.
The Bat Squatch started getting heard in 1980,
but then In 94 is when This uh, other guy saw
it and that's what you've been around for a while.
Yeah. Okay, so I mean bat squash is like 45 now.
Yeah Give or take dude. We probably got a lot
in common. Yeah. I mean he probably grew up with
nintendo I wonder what his favorite band is.
I don't know I mean, what's your favorite band?
Dude's tool. I thought it would be tool Everybody
loves tool. It's never As much as me man been
my favorite And I don't know what it is. I just
don't have as much of a connection with it. I
like them But I think I've always bounced around
on on different stuff so Speaking of bouncing
around on things never mind Use your imagination
we're trying to be Good so here. We are middle
-aged bat -squatch Middle -aged bad squad just
playing his old -school Nintendo Listening to
tool probably work order right I Want to be him
when I grow up I want to grow up to be bat -squatch
Where are we here? Anyway, this this liquor store
owner was flying around and saw How the hell
did you see BatSquatch? I mean, he must be enormous.
Well, maybe he was flying. I was just going to
say that. Oh, we're on the same wavelength here.
OK. So this makes sense. That's not what the
story says, but that makes sense if you just
looked over and was like, oh, shit, it's a BatSquatch.
Holy shit. Oh, fuck, it's a BatSquatch. There's
something in the wing. Some. You know what's
good when you make yourself laugh, you know,
that's what all my dad's friends and saying like
these guys are dumb as hell I Become I am become
dad. Oh Somehow somehow this is just gonna work
if this just makes too much sense for me and
if it doesn't I don't care We're gonna keep doing
it Where are we with the story here? Flying around.
I mean, we've been flying around. It's a sasquatch
on my wing! I'm gonna ask Rachel if she's...
She's flying around. Yes, dude. I need to be
like, hey, have you ever seen a sasquatch? I
mean, that's apparently how you find him. So
if that doesn't work, we will go on a plane.
We will go on a damn plane and we will find Bat
Squad. Just fly us around. He's out there, I'm
telling you. There he is! Just go there. Ah,
man. Okay, right there. Back on top. Here we
go. Where are we? Anyway. Liquor store owner
This piece was over a decade after initial sightings
reigniting interest in profiting additional reports.
Okay, here we go Following Canfield stories other
locals came forward and although they were okay.
We're back here. There's a Not really side track
Okay, so he apparently saw bad squash flying
around with him but in Mount St. Helens during
midday Sightings reportedly tapered off after
1994, but resurfers sporadically, including a
1998 claim by an anonymous trucker in Northwest
Oregon who said the structure, the creature with,
who said he struck the creature with his long
haul truck. Dang, all right. More recent media
explorations, such as a 2021, very much closer
to now. Okay. All right. You have my attention
now. This is something we can actually have a
stick chance of like getting a hold of maybe
so, okay, so so there's a 2021 episode of Fox
Nations monsters across America revisiting the
legend including An interview with Canfield's
mother. Oh, maybe he's not around and flying
over the site with a helicopter. So You know,
you can trust them truckers And Fox News. And
Fox News. And so, you know, not to get into that
whole shenanigans, but, you know, the news, because
we will go way off on that. So apparently the
guy hit him with his logging truck and that was
just the end of the story. Yep, I hit a bat squash.
That was the end of it. That's it. Didn't say
anything like you hit a bat squash. You didn't.
You didn't kill it apparently did he himself
say hey guys, I think I hit a bad squash Definitely
the point of me if he said the word bad squash
I don't think he read about that somewhere else
cuz who's Who's gonna see that for the first
time and then call it that? Most likely that
makes sense to be like I saw this thing that
looked like this I don't know what you call it
or how to describe it like that's watch so I
have a personal story. This wasn't directly me,
but this is when I was in high school, someone
I dated, and their grandma was telling me about
this ghost story. OK. So, uh, you know, we need
to have a pen so I can mark where I was. It doesn't
matter. All right. Totally professional, you
know, I've had complaints of people saying you
guys burping too much on your shell. I will don't
listen. We don't care what she says exactly so
I Don't remember who told me the story but it
was my girlfriend at the Times Grandmother who
said no, she totally saw a ghost truck like oh,
come on with a Ghost truck. Yes ghost truck Kind
of along the same thing as what you're saying.
We're like, I don't think that he probably hit
bat -squatch and well, holy shit It's bat -squatch.
Yeah, he probably hit something and then somebody
said something which oh, you know, that's I don't
know what it was It did you know and then that
turns into something and yeah, our memories are
not good. That's a lot cuz that's a long span
of time between Dude seen it in the plane. Then
then the dude hitting it with the truck. Yeah,
I mean so she swears up and down apparently that
there was this ghost truck and I'm like oh come
on tell then tell me the story yeah okay well
what happened was they pulled into this gas station
and was super foggy okay that means you're not
gonna see things right so your view is obscured
your view is obscured so you don't know what
happened that's yep this is UFO you didn't know
what you saw yeah it would mean it could have
been flying you don't know you just saw headlights
so it's super foggy and you can see the headlights
and they they see a truck pull in yeah and they
said oh we pulled it in the gas station right
and when we came back around it was gone it doesn't
prove anything it just proves that you saw a
truck you saw some headlights come in And then
it kept going when you thought it pulled in or
who? I don't know. Maybe it turned off its lights
because it parked. And then it was gone. But
it was there. And then it was gone. Not just
gone, but it was f***ing gone. So, yeah, I'd
be along with the same lines of that. Totally
believable. Got it. The memories just, they fade
after a while, so. So, Moves on to explain here
in our article. Thank you, assistant. Yep. Eyewitness
accounts paint the Sasquatch. Bat -Squatch, I
am sorry, did not mean to get that wrong there.
As a formidable, otherworldly primate, it stands
approximately nine feet tall with a muscular,
Bigfoot -like build covered in blue or dark silvery
fur. Also has a large wiener. No, that's not
in there. Talking about myself. Of course, whatever.
Its wings apparently are leathery, bat like span,
bat like wings spanning up to 50 feet. Holy hell.
I thought the wings 50 feet. Is that? That's
pretty big. I don't know about all that. 50 feet
attached to elongated pinky fingers on its hands,
allowing for Powerful flight, but you hold on
Okay, like what's fifth I'm trying to visualize
my head 50 feet Okay, so you're a person's wingspan
is like about their height. So it's about six
foot Okay, that's like a bald eagle like a big
one, you know, and they're saying the bat squash
was this big so I mean proportional at It's 50
feet. It's like ten times as big So it would
have to be Well, no, how it's huge dude, I can't
I can't my my math isn't math and how tall is
like a bald eagle I Want to say a bald eagle
is like five or six feet dude tall. Oh tall.
I don't know Yeah, wit wingspan wingspan tall.
Maybe say it means it like good two foot Not
true. I saw one on the road the other day. It
was like a foot 18 inches off the ground inches
for simple math call it to So it's wingspan is
about three times. So if you just called it so,
so it's wingspan is like 50 feet. And if it would
the same sort of ratio as a bird, a third of
that, I think from that corner to that corner
is 40 feet. Yeah, I was going to say your fence
to your fence has got to be like 50. Yes. So,
yeah. But that one that have to make it. That's
huge. I mean, that wingspan would be way bigger
than nine foot. It would have to be like a. It
could be like a 15 foot tall thing. I see where
you're going with this. That's that's good. Like
it would be huge. I think this is wrong. It has
to be way bigger. It's unbelievable. It's gotta
be way bigger. I mean the wings could be bigger.
This mythical creature is too big to be realistic.
I'm sorry. It can't fly. I mean... Animals are
funny. Yeah Oh boy, so Leathery wings, all right.
I'm just trying to picture 50 foot. I mean, yeah,
you're flying around in a It's bigger than a
damn Cessna when you're flying around. Yeah,
dude You imagine what that would sound like Like
a dragon probably yeah, I mean that's what I'm
thinking like that's that's that's my mental
image this i hope this has like something about
dragon size what it sounds like your typical
garden variety dragon your typical you know dragon
obviously uh so it's it's got giant wings that
threw me off it has a dog -like muzzle with sharp
fangs and teeth bat -like ears and nose and piercing
yellow or reddish brown eyes that glow in the
light. Naturally. Obviously. That's how that
works. Yeah. Oh. I was not bird -like talons
on its feet for perching and crafting with enhanced
agility for climbing sheer surfaces like frogs.
This sounds like a D &D attribute. Obviously,
I'm going to have talons. Know I'm gonna hold
daggers nerd come down. I want to hold daggers
like this like I Try to abduct the human Give
me an agility dexterity roll Climbing sure surfaces
like rocks trees it kind of makes sense. I just
didn't think that it had I Mean, it's it's just
it's a giant bat Not, not really like Sasquatch,
but it's a giant bat. That's what I'm imagining.
It's kind of like the big bat in Batman, where
it's just a... I heard about... Oh, dude. Okay,
so the webpage... I gotta find it out. The webpage
I found, BatSquatch, also had a story about a
giant bat in Mount St. Helens, or near Mount
St. Helens. Well, we could cross -reference that.
Yes. So we could do that. Next time at least
yeah, I got okay. I'll dig that up make a mental
note of something and maybe we have a What they
call that docking the two things? We're the intersection
of thought I don't know what that word's called
right. It's like a Venn diagram Sorta I don't
know Yeah, I know what you're saying, but like
go could be related Yeah, I don't know. I think
maybe they're one of the same, maybe, possibly.
Well, like you're saying, mistaken identities
and forgetting things. I mean, hell, we didn't
even get into it. Because when you're seeing
weird stuff, how do you get to equate it to someone
else's weird stuff they saw and be like, oh,
it's totally different? Well, it's like we've
been saying with the Bible, and I have to get
into that. We're going to get way off here, but
that's fine. The book of Enoch is on Spotify.
Uh -huh and I find it really interesting because
The history of it it used to be one of the books
that they read. Yeah Yeah, but there's so much
stuff about I There's I'm like I got to read
this because that was the stuff that's always
interested me because there's stuff about The
Archangel Michael fighting Satan and Satan and
Some of these other I can't remember what all
the different names for the devil Were but they're
not all supposed to be the same person. They
were different rankings and and just like the
angels Yeah, and and there's this whole thing
about all that and the angels and demons basically
making nephilim which were us were a combinations
of of things and I always thought that was interesting
same because I wish they would make a movie about
that Was it so much that the movie Noah? Yeah,
but it wasn't no, but it got it got into that
where they were talking where they showed the
angels and I was like Oh, I didn't know that
this is interesting. Yeah, so but yeah, they
made a whole Bat squash they just okay. That's
just that's our side ramp because Dude, everything's
a conspiracy anymore. Mm -hmm. Well, you know
what we're saying is If you're seeing a bunch
of angels and demons or the the big spinning
eyeball ball, balls of fire, chariots and stuff.
If you don't know what that is, why do you describe
it anymore? Exactly. So the same thing when you're
like, I seen this giant, it's a giant bat and
just ends up being bat squash. In my head, I
pictured Bigfoot with wings. That's what I was
thinking too. Yeah, I just pictured this dumb
ape, just like, blah, blah, blah, just got wings.
Okay, I guess it doesn't make sense but I didn't
really think about it You know, I should edit
that out and make a professional but Whatever
But let's go let's go Isn't that what the kids
say that's it that's a new term the new thing
let's go It's overall appearance is a blend of
a primate and Come on. I'm not good with words
chinchilla chinchilla. Is it really chinchilla?
Oh, I totally guess that Chiro Tyrion Oh one
of those bat Just skip this word for me. Chiro
Tyrion got it a gyroscopic whatever So it's a
blend of a ape bat, sometimes likened to a flying
dog man or diabolical flying ape. But it kind
of makes sense. I wonder if you could splice
ape in bat jeans or if they just won't splice.
Like pick an elephant DNA? Yeah. Just won't splice.
I'm glad you got that, man. Did you know that
song? I'm glad. Have you ever heard that song,
my lover boy? Yeah. Pick an elephant DNA just
won't splice. I pick an elephant DNA just won't
splice. Yeah. Dude, I'm I'm really sad. I actually
wanted to name the podcast Hunting and killing
Well, another show was called hunting and killing
but then they they also Mysteries of the unexplained
Jimbo and Ed I looked it up and there was one
already I was like damn it. Oh We could hunt
this southern staring frog of southern, Sri Lanka
We still can But yeah, just that thank you Matt
Stone and Trey Parker for for all you know and
the stupid Quite frankly bulls that they're wanting
to do with all we need to pull the Charlie Kirk
episode You know what? They were just making
fun of Charlie Kirk and he laughed about it and
that's how that should be Yeah, yes, they're
trying to pull the episode. I know why? Who cares?
Some reports note that the creatures ability
to interfere Some reports note the creatures
ability to interfere with machinery such as stalling
car engines EMP, huh? Yes adding a supernatural
element to its profile very transformer Japanese
folklore adaptations exaggerated as size to 22
feet Likely due to translation errors, but no
such massive sightings have been documented.
I don't know. That's why I was like why is it
Japanese? Where'd that come from? But if it's
got a 50 -foot wingspan, yeah, I guess, you know,
22 foot tall. Anything's possible. In the vast
knowledge of my bat -squatch information I have,
it's totally plausible that it could cross the
Pacific Ocean. As an expert like me, yes, this
makes sense. So it's a little bit out of its
behavior here. The bat -squatch is believed to
dwell in volcanic caves and dense old -growth
forests of the Grinford -Pinach National Forest
around Mount St. Helens, like its Sasquatch relatives,
except for it likes to do it with bats. It is
primarily nocturnal, emerging at night to hunt.
or forage while retreating to... I almost read
that retarded. It's retarded to caves. During
the day for safety, reports suggest it is elusive
and territorial with behaviors including effortless
aerial maneuvers, backflips, and swift dodges.
Oh yeah, it's going to be good at it if it's
been doing it its whole life, naturally. Well,
I mean, unless it's had babies, this thing is
like, you know, 50 or something. Which, you know...
Maybe in bat -squatch years. It's pretty young.
It's still young and spry creature years, you
know I'm sure you can relate like it's a 500
year old unicorn in the middle of its lifespan
or not It is primer. Is it an old one? It was
500. I don't know But I'm sure you you know,
I could be doing all kinds of we could be moving
this barbecue grill around and be fine and then
like I woke up and Rolled you get out of bed
like ah So I'm just thinking you know if it's
an old bat squash Good for it. I I need to know
what it does Lottie's probably probably just
smokes weed all day long for sure so sweet yeah
Keeps you young. It's in the Pacific Northwest,
100%. Well, I think you have to. It's in the
new laws. It's in the new laws. In the high laws.
It's one of those high laws. Merging at night
and hunting or foraging while we're trading the
caves during the day. If this makes sense, it's
a bet. Report suggests it's, yeah, I already
read that. Master of evasion. Say that one more
time. Bob, I'm master debating everybody. I'm
totally pwning all these stupid college chicks.
Eric, are you master debating again? I'm sorry,
mama. Man, years of entertainment. Haven't even
watched that one. I just saw clips and was like
damn and they need to watch this again backflips
bat -squatch and Eric Cartman is Charlie Kirk
These are the things that I love Its diet and
cultural structure remain speculative most likely
because it's not real but parallels to other
cryptids. Oh damn. Implied a carnivorous or omnivorous
lifestyle, possibly preying on small animals
or scavenging in the post -eruption wilderness.
Unlike most aggressive legends like Mothman,
bat -squatch encounters are typically non -violent.
Oh, this is good. I don't want to die. He's a
lover, not a fighter. No, hold on. What a guy.
Though its imposing size and mechanical inference
evoke fear. Yeah, I get that. Some of the sightings
here. There is the 1980 encounter by Mr. Canfield.
It's the cornerstone of the bat squash reports.
Yeah, there is a few others. So you have Brian
Canfield in 1980. Mount St. Helens. It's engine
stalled. You have Butch Whitaker. And that's
it. That's pretty much what they said. So Butch
Whitaker is the liquor store owner. The rich
liquor store owner. Who flew around and saw a
bat squash. So makes total sense. I hope that
guy's still alive. I would love to talk to that
guy. We have capability. So and not preemptively.
If that ever does happen, I'm not trying to be
a dick. I might come off as that, but you know
what? I would love to hear what he has to say
about this. Oh, yes, I would totally try not
to think too much. Liquor store owner flying
his plane. You could just cut the part out. He
was just a pilot. Yeah, but now I'm like some
old drunk flying around Not not only is bad squash
go hunt at night because it's a fucking bad So
how did he see this thing? Middle of the day
is bad squats So I'm sorry. I forgot to edit.
That's why we just put this as it's an explicit
show. I'm trying to bleep it out because Well,
it's funny And then you had the anonymous Northwest
trucker who who hit it and he ran you just hit
and quit it slaying bodies, dude There's no physical
evidence such as tracks for well, obviously it
flies DNA or other scientifically verified things
Enthusiasts cite the consistency of descriptions
around the unrelated witnesses as compelling.
Though skeptics argue for explanations like large
birds or diesel trucks. I see what you did there.
The hell was that? Out in the middle of the woods,
where'd that come from? This is gonna be the
worst when we're actually out, like, in the forest.
Yeah, I know. And we're like, blah blah blah
blah blah. What did you hear that was like it
was like a Another South Park reference Patrick
Duffy leg. Yeah, there was a whole episode that
they were making fun of Ghost hunter guys. It's
the gayest show in the fucking world. Oh What
is that what is what what is that? There's like
a trail running from my leg. Oh There's some
hot warm coming out on the back of my pants So
they're all like That's exactly what this show
is gonna be, emulating my heroes. Anyway, it
sounds like experts are basically saying it sounds
like people just saw things. Eagles, owls, large
birds. There are vultures out here, those are
some big ass birds too. That's true. Distorted
by ash clouds or trauma from the eruption, kind
of makes sense. So in comparison, there are other...
wing cryptids here, like Mothman, which at some
point we're gonna have to go, but that's like
a Jersey - We'll talk about that sometime. Yeah,
and um, Jersey Devil's another winged one. I
didn't even know that was a thing until I saw
it in Fallout. Oh yeah, cause we used to play
Fallout a lot. Have you played recently? No,
I was gonna and I just - They have a Jersey Devil
in there now. You fucking hear that? You hear
that? Sounded like a That was sass watch that
nice card I Don't know what I'm doing oh You
know what that that pretty much wraps up our
whole This story there we don't have to keep
playing our spooky. I love that I do it like
that that falls asleep to that. That's great.
I just sets the tone is honoring the juicy mystery
flavors you folk with it Yeah, all right his
bat -squatch IPA Beyond folklore the bat -squatch
has permeated pop culture Oregon's rogue ales
and spirits. I've had their stuff bruise a hazy
IPA called Bat squash honoring the juicy. I just
saw juicy mystery Juicy. All right, so they do
have a bat squash brew. It's a little late for
that be to be out dude Yeah, bro, well you go
home man, isn't that what they do they come out
here and they're like I'm gonna die I'm just
gonna go sit on this and if I wake up in the
morning then it's another day Isn't that kind
of how you feel anymore? I just call in the bed
if I wake up in the morning then all right Cool.
Let's go, dude. Let's go! Yeah! What? What? Did
you hear that? We don't even got to start with
that again. That's pretty much our bad squash
story. Totally believable, dude. I mean totally
believable if I'm gonna say if I'm gonna sit
here and say yeah I believe that Sasquatch is
probably real because there's a lot of unknown
stuff out there still in the woods How am I gonna
be like, but that's watching one of them, you
know? Entirely it's that's you know, I would
love for it to be real. I Hope it is. It's it's
like the X files. I want to believe it's a lot
more fun. Yeah, so Here we are with the bat squad
story that I I think that pretty well wraps up
this unless you got more to add to that because
Thank you assistant for writing this That made
it a lot easier quality work Quality all around
that's you got a place at this portable table
anytime. That's that's how we do it so with that
we can wrap up our Our bad squash story. Thank
you. I think that all thanks for listening. I
Mean you don't have to I'm lying you do