Entry 11, stuck in the slush. I start today's
entry with a story from my own life that occurred
on March 15th, just days after I posted my last
entry on the power of powerlessness. I share
this to demonstrate and further be an example
of what it means to be a sovereign soul and walk,
or in this case, ski the path of the sovereign
soul. I share this experience with you all, so...
And we may all learn and laugh, as I have already.
A bit of background. I've been a snow skier since
I was eight years old. And in all that time,
I've taken my share of spills, but never truly
injured myself. Now, as I've gotten older, I
no longer look for the double black diamonds.
Instead, I enjoy the easier runs that are symbolized
on the slopes by the blue squares or green circles.
Now, that being said, a dear friend and I went
skiing in New York for the day before the season
ended. Get some spring skiing in before the season
was over. And also a few days before a scheduled
golf trip to Hilton Head that had been planned
for months. It was a beautiful day and the weather
was great. 35 to 40 degrees. Just perfect for
a final day of spring skiing. I was on my third
rundown. approximately 200 to 300 yards from
the ski lift, coming down like an intermediate
beginner run. All of a sudden, my skis hit some
slushy snow and immediately they stopped while
I continued to powerlessly go down the hill,
head first, landing on my right shoulder. I immediately
knew the impact had caused something serious
to happen and that my shoulder was not really
in socket as it should be. So I stood up, I grabbed
my shoulder, and I just put it back into socket.
Not fun. Anyone who skis knows how bad of a fall
it was when people riding up on the chairlift
call out to you, you okay? And... Based on the
number of people that call out to you, you get
an idea of how bad the fall looked. I was asked
by four sets of people on the chairlift, a very
high score, considering that I was that close
to the chairlift itself. I continued to get my
skis back on and skied down the lift, letting
my buddy know, man, I'm done for the day. Back
in the room, I was processing what had happened
and the possible outcomes, including surgery,
time for rehabilitation, and the impact that
this impact would have on my golf trip that I
would no longer be golfing on, as well as the
whole summer of fun activities that I had been
looking forward to and planning for the whole
cold winter that we were just getting through.
I also, and most importantly, immediately began
being open to the what and the why that this
happened. and what I would gain and how I would
grow as a person as a result. No poor me narrative.
I mean, a little bummed, but not willing to give
that a whole lot of energy, as I just know that
that is not a productive use of the energy or
intention. After getting home the next day, I
put in place, no pun intended, a plan to cover
the immediate needs of what I know and now knew
was a separated shoulder, specifically a chromio
-clavicular joint separation. And thank goodness,
no total tears in my rotator cuff muscles that
would have required immediate attention. I further
moved into the healing by accepting everything
that may or may not happen over the next two
to three months as a result of the traumatic
event and made sure I was good with it and that
I could just let go of all of my expectations
prior to the traumatic event and just recalibrate
my life based on what had happened as a result
of that event. Immediately, I began to see how
this event would give me an experience that,
you know, that I could share with all of you.
I had a real -time experience that included this
experience of powerlessness that literally led
to a separation, not just in my shoulder, but
a separation from all the events I thought, again,
were going to happen and I had to face now being
powerless over happening. How could this all
be a coincidence? Of course it was not. I went
ahead and did everything I was called to do from
my shoulder, and I was able to go on the golf
trip as a spectator. I was able to drive the
cart from my buddy and watch my two sons play
golf, as well as participate in all the other
shenanigans that go along with a golf trip. I
was separated from playing the game of golf,
but not from participating and witnessing the
people that I loved from enjoying it. or in some
cases being frustrated by it. I am 57 years in
this body and I'm very active. You know, yet
the lessons of this separation brought about
by this experience of powerlessness were very
profound. Because I was not focusing on playing
golf, which to be quite honest, I play quite
poorly, I was able to focus on the ones I love
playing golf, which... I am quite good at. And
as the beautiful order would have it, on the
first day, my dear friend Jimmy, he shot one
of the best rounds of his life and I was blessed
to be a part of it, to witness it, to cheer him
on and celebrate his beautiful moment fully.
Now this is something I will never forget and
something I would have never been present for
if I had not been separated from playing golf.
It showed me that as life goes on, my body inevitably
will separate me from doing certain things the
way I used to. And not only is that okay, it's
a gift. The powerlessness that I do and will
experience as life goes on over my body's changes
is an opportunity to celebrate the moments of
others who are still participating and find a
new richness in the process of witnessing life.
witnessing life in a place of complete powerlessness
over the outcomes of anything, but not seeing
that as a reason to have fear or a sense of loss
of what was, but to engage in the mystery and
the unfolding of the experience now, as it's
happening all around me, fixating not on what
I can no longer do or what no longer is, but
instead walk through the doors now open. to enter
into what I can do to a greater extent and knowing
that it will lead to a more rich and fulfilling
life. Separation does have the ability to bring
opportunities for growth. You see, we will forever
be powerlessly separated from one thing, one
person, one place, or most importantly, one version
of ourselves. Change spares not a single bond
from being broken over the eternity of experience,
because all life changes and transforms. It doesn't
matter if a part of you sees fit to get stuck
in the slushy snow of your experience, the rest
of you will have to keep going. No matter what
happens as a result of that process, be grateful.
Get up. Get yourself back into place. continue
down the hill and on to the next run in your
life. Be grateful for what separation brought
about by the events in your life even though
they include traumatic events at times on one
level or another and many times on many levels.
Traumatic events are not the enemy any more than
rain being wet is. It's all just a part of the
experience. It's not specific to you or us. It's
just a part of creation and life in general.
Until next time, I am Sovereign Soul.