It's a privilege to be back here with you and
to be feeding on God's word together. Shall we
pray as we begin? May the words of my mouth and
the thoughts of all our hearts be now and always
acceptable in your sight, O God, our rock and
our redeemer. Amen. This passage to Samuel 18
has formed part of a sermon series at our church
in Spalding, where I, as I said, serve my husband.
It's been a series seeking to learn from the
work of God through the life of David and his
family. And as I was considering what to bring
today, I believe this passage would be worth
mining again, particularly because of what it
has to teach us about character. If you, like
me, want to grow in Christ -like character as
a friend, neighbour, spouse, parent and or child,
as a servant of the church, I trust there will
be something here for you. As we heard, 2 Samuel
18 traces the tragic and rapid final unravelling
of the relationship between David and Absalom.
The question that I invite us to consider today
is, how can we grow in Christ -like character?
How can we make the kind of choices that will
shape us into people after God's heart? To help
us do that, we're going to first ask of our passage,
what is Absalom like? We're going to look then
at his relationship with his father, David, and
then we're going to examine how the relationship
between these two men can help to shine a light
into our own hearts and also point us to Jesus
Christ. So what is Absalom like? I'm going to
take a survey across earlier chapters of 2 Samuel,
starting from chapter 13, where we first meet
Absalom offering shelter to his sister. Tamar.
Tamar has just suffered at the hands of her half
-brother Amnon, who has raped her and then thrown
her out, abandoned her in that culture to a life
of shame and isolation. So Absalom appears to
be doing a kind thing here. Chapter 1320 says
that Tamar lived in her brother Absalom's house,
a desolate woman. He takes her in. He provides
a home for her. But as you'll see, as we start
to journey a bit further with Absalom, you can't
help to start to wonder what exactly Absalom
was motivated by. Was it compassion for Tamar?
Or was she a useful catalyst for his own ambitions?
Or perhaps a strange mixture of both? When Absalom
takes Tamar into his house, his words sound very
strange to us. Be quiet for now, sister. He is
your brother. Don't take this to heart. You would
not hear those words in a rape crisis clinic
today. Clearly, Absalom should have taken his
sister's case to the king to ask for justice
for her. But instead, he takes his own violent
revenge. Later in chapter 13, we see him persuading
all his brothers to come to a meal and then commanding
his men to kill Amnon just when he's relaxed
and enjoying himself. So Absalom has used deceit
and violence to avenge his sister. And also he
has removed one obstacle in his way to the throne.
Amnon was the firstborn son. Now only his father
David stands in the way. David's second son is
not mentioned in these accounts, only in the
genealogies, which suggests he might have died
young. So as the next living son, Absalom is
now the first in line to inherit the throne.
So was Absalom primarily motivated by compassion
for his sister, or was she a convenient excuse
for him to move himself one step closer to becoming
king? What else do we learn about Absalom? A
couple of other episodes help us to build up
a picture of his character. Chapter 14 tells
us that he had beautiful thick hair. Why does
the writer of 2 Samuel tell us this particular
detail? Because whenever Absalom had his hair
cut, he would have the hair that had been cut
off weighed to find out how heavy it is. The
basic message is... that Absalom was vain and
on quite a remarkable scale. If he was alive
today, he definitely would have channels on all
the major social media platforms where you could
find out just how to get thick and lovely hair
just like him. Chapter 15 tells us that Absalom
was using deceit to win the hearts and minds
of his father's people. David was meant to ensure
that the law courts were functioning well so
the people could bring their complaints and find
justice, but he wasn't coming up to scratch in
this area. Absalom would meet these complainants
and pretend that he was interested in their case,
winning them over to him. He wasn't actually
interested because he never did anything about
their problems, but he pretended to be in order
to win a following so that eventually he could
overpower the king. So as well as being vain
and narcissistic, Absalom was emotionally manipulative.
He was willing to pretend that he cared for people
in order to win their affection. And when we
come to our chapter today, chapter 18, after
years of plotting and planning, Absalom has come
to the point of actually going to war against
his father. He's managed to remove the heir to
the throne. He's managed to raise an army. And
now he starts a fight with the aim of removing
his father and becoming king. So David sends
out his men. And you might have noticed that
he gives a command there to everyone going out
to fight. We read in verse five that everyone,
here's what he says. He is very clear with his
army that he does not want Absalom harmed in
the fight. And this tells us something about
his attitude towards Absalom. So the battle begins
and very quickly it becomes clear that Absalom's
initiative against David is going to fail. Verse
7 says that David's army has the upper hand.
And then something remarkable and quite bizarre
happens. The tables suddenly turn, not just on
his army, but on Absalom personally. Absalom
is riding on a mule, a mount for a king. Evidence
there again, in case we needed it, of the overreaching
nature of Absalom's ambition. The mule goes under
a tree and somehow Absalom gets caught in the
branches and he's stuck. It's an extraordinarily
humiliating position to be in. Absalom is about
to get his comeuppance. And here we come in the
narrative to Joab, the commander of David's army.
Now, in chapter 14, we get an indication that
Joab was somewhat supportive of Absalom. When
Absalom kills Amnon and has to flee, Joab helps
to arrange a partial reconciliation between Absalom
and David. Maybe Joab, who, as we know, is a
ruthless political animal, maybe he approved
of Absalom taking revenge on Amnon for what he
did to Tamar. Maybe he had thought then that
it would be better for David to keep his enemy
son Absalom close rather than hold him at a distance.
But now, learning that Absalom is caught in a
tree, Joab disregards David's command not to
harm him and takes three spears, three spears,
and plunges them into Absalom's heart. He then
oversees ten soldiers who surround him and finish
him off. And they bury him, I was going to say
in an unmarked grave, but it isn't even a grave,
just under a heap of rocks. The murder of Absalom
is vicious and humiliating. Why? Here are two
possibly overlapping reasons. One is simply that
Joab was a political operator. He knew that if
David's kingdom was going to survive, Absalom
had to die. Joab was prepared to override David's
wishes, probably because he thought the king's
weakness for Absalom was going to end up getting
him killed. Another reason could well be that
Joab loathed Absalom. One spear would have been
enough to kill Absalom. Kingdom saved, job done.
Verse 3 in chapter 14. Absalom has been allowed
to return from exile to Jerusalem, but he's not
allowed to see the king. He tries twice to give
Joab's attention, to get Joab to persuade David
to see him, but both times Joab refuses. In response,
Absalom gives his servants this instruction.
Look, Joab's field is an ember mine, he's got
barley growing there. Go and set it on fire.
I don't know the value of that field, Barney,
for Joab's family that year. Was it the only
field? Did Joab have others? Either way, Absalom
has it burned, just like that. Unsurprisingly,
Joab's attention is now caught. He goes to Absalom
and says, Why have your servants set my field
on fire? And Absalom says in essence, I've tried
to get your attention before. I just really want
to see the king. He can decide whether I've done
anything wrong here. So Absalom was extraordinarily
unconcerned about Joab as a spiel. He was just
determined to get his own way. And he was prepared
to humiliate Joab in order to force him to his
will. Now, Joab was a man of considerable power.
And as it turns out, Absalom was unwise to show
him such contempt, but their interactions reveal
something very dark about Absalom. He was prepared
to sacrifice every relationship in order to gain
power. Absalom is completely and utterly out
for himself, and he will use the weak and trample
on the strong in order to get what he wants.
So... What is Absalom like? How might we describe
his character? I think we can safely conclude
that he was vain, deceitful, violent, manipulative,
arrogant and cruel. Absalom, the self -anointed
wannabe king, is in many ways an antichrist.
not in a one John sense, but in an opposite of
Christ sense. If the people of Israel might have
breathed a sigh of relief that Absalom did not
ascend to the throne, we can rejoice that our
legitimate Christ is the anti -Absalom in all
his dealings with all of us in Christ. A servant
king, not a vain prima donna, utterly truthful,
not deceitful. a peacemaker and reconciler, not
given to wanton violence, one whom we can trust
with our highest dreams and deepest fears and
fragile hearts and never manipulative, humble,
not arrogant, kind, not cruel. Praise God that
God's real king is better than this pretender.
We can say that from our perspective on this
side of the cross. But track back 3 ,000 years
and we're still left with a crucial question.
Why, given all that Absalom is like and all that
he's done, why does David continue to love him,
even to the extent of risking his kingdom? More
than once, Absalom demonstrates that he is utterly
undeserving of his father's trust and love, uninterested
in his father's love. He would rather his father
was dead or in exile so that he could be king
instead. And yet David loves him. The narrator
communicates the depth of David's love very powerfully
over the course of 14 verses from verses 19 onwards.
We start with the knowledge that Absalom is dead,
or at least we know that. But we also know that
David doesn't know that. And in the exchange
between Joab and Ahimaaz, we hear the insistence
of Ahimaaz, who hasn't quite understood the likely
impact of the news of Absalom's death on David.
Joab does see it. And so we have this tussle
between them, resolved by Joab finally admitting
Ahimaaz to run. And then we move to David sitting
at the gates. And we realize that he has been
watching and waiting for Absalom ever since his
soldiers left the city. And he's alerted to the
first runner. And then we get these agonizing
nine verses as we wait first for Ahimaaz and
then for the Kushite to arrive, where we see
that David is hoping against hope that Absalom
is alive. I wonder whether you've ever had to
wait for news, maybe a call or an email about
someone or something you care about. And as you
wait, you go through the possible options. You
look desperately for signs of hope, hope that
the news will be good. In verse 27, when David
realizes the runner is Ahimaaz, he comes to an
instant and illogical conclusion. He's a good
man. He comes with good news. It's the logic
of a desperate man. But the news isn't good for
David. And when he learns of Absalom's death,
he is devastated. He is overwhelmed by his grief.
David loves his son, not perfectly, even unwisely.
Effectively, he spoils him. He refuses to discipline
his son, who is rebelling against him. Maybe
his love was mixed in with guilt about his own
failings in the past. But despite this, remarkably,
despite the kind of person Absalom was and the
kind of things he did, David loves Absalom. Why
is this important? There are two things I'd like
to draw out here. The first point is that David's
love for imperfect Absalom is a signpost pointing
us, to God's love for us. I wonder whether when
you listen to David waiting in agony for Absalom
to return home from the battle, you heard echoes
of the father in Luke chapter 15, waiting and
longing for the prodigal son to return home.
David isn't a perfect example of God's love,
but the gap between what Absalom deserved and
what David was prepared to give him, points us
forward to the gap between what we deserve and
what God is prepared to give us. The second point
is that Absalom, the wannabe king, resists David,
the anointed king. And that resistance to God's
sovereign choice is very much alive in our hearts
too. We can probably all say that we have not
murdered our brother and gone to war against
our father in order to win power. But in our
self -centeredness and our idolatry, we often
go to war against God's anointed king, Jesus
Christ. And we hate and envy those who have a
calling that we want for ourselves. I don't know.
what this looks like for you. I know from what
I've seen in my own heart and others that it
can look like expediency, where we choose to
put pressure on others to override their needs
to get the outcome we want. Deceit. Perhaps we
choose to lie or maybe we pretend to care about
people to persuade them to do what we want. Envy.
We despise the life that God has called us to
live and envy those who are doing the things
that we wish we were doing. Self -rule. Perhaps
instead of surrendering our lives to God, we
try to make our chosen future come about by ourselves.
And ministers are just as susceptible to this
as anyone else. If Absalom had surrendered his
life and his hopes for the future to God, had
accepted his father and in time his older brother
as God's anointed king, and been willing to enjoy
the love of his father, what could his life have
been like? What kind of a person could he have
been? Maybe with a love for justice, pursuing
right justice for his sister, for the people
of Israel. Perhaps he would have honoured others.
Perhaps he could have been a faithful and supportive
son to his father and older brother. Gratitude.
Perhaps he could have accepted the place in the
world that God had given him and found some other
wiser outlet for his energy and ambition. Peace.
Perhaps he could have known the peace that God
gives in the knowledge that he is sovereign and
Absalom is loved. The more we surrender our lives,
our character, our hopes for the future again
to God's anointed King Jesus, beholding his death
in our place on the cross, trusting that he loves
us, no matter how many times we fail him, what
changes could that surrender bring about in our
lives? Wouldn't that surrender help to shape
us into Christ -like people? Perhaps there is
one thing that you know in your heart. that the
Holy Spirit is prodding gently right now. An
area of my heart still holding out against King
Jesus. An area where you would love the Lord
to help you make better choices. Let's ask the
Lord together in prayer now. Loving Father God,
we read the life of Absalom and find so much
to be horrified by. And yet, when we are honest,
we know that there are areas of our lives where
we make choices that are all about what we want
and not about what you want. We resist your anointed
King, Jesus, and his will for our lives. Thank
you for your love for us, which is so much greater
than the great love David had for his son, Absalom.
Thank you, Jesus, that through your death on
the cross you prove your eternal love for us.
In the quiet, I offer you this one area of my
life. I invite you, Holy Spirit, to come. Shine
your light in my heart. Bring clarity and wisdom
to my mind. Forgive me for the things I have
said and done that do not bring glory to you.
May your love for me in all my brokenness change
my heart so that more and more I want to make
choices that are Christ -like. Teach me, guide
me, help me. Thank you that I am not alone, that
you have promised to be with me always. In Jesus'
name. Amen.