WEBVTT 00:01:05.739 --> 00:01:08.439 and welcome to another episode of the Parapie 00:01:08.439 --> 00:01:12.739 Podcast. To my TikTok family, welcome to the 00:01:12.739 --> 00:01:15.340 Parapie Podcast. This is where we focus on those 00:01:15.340 --> 00:01:18.859 childhood traumas, healing those inner wounds, 00:01:19.239 --> 00:01:22.260 all that and more. Today, we are on our third 00:01:22.260 --> 00:01:25.439 part of our inner work series. Our first part 00:01:25.439 --> 00:01:28.760 was reparenting ourselves. Our second part was 00:01:28.760 --> 00:01:31.340 ignoring that inner critic and listening to our 00:01:31.340 --> 00:01:34.879 true voice. And tonight, our final part is people 00:01:34.879 --> 00:01:37.200 pleasing. So again, TikTok, if you would like 00:01:37.200 --> 00:01:40.159 to see the visuals and the graphics and everything 00:01:40.159 --> 00:01:43.519 like that, head over to the Parapy Podcast channel 00:01:43.519 --> 00:01:46.459 on YouTube, or you can go to the Parapy Facebook 00:01:46.459 --> 00:01:49.659 page, and you can see it there. Really, let's 00:01:49.659 --> 00:01:52.040 go to YouTube. Let's get them watch ours. If 00:01:52.040 --> 00:01:54.799 you feel compelled to on the Facebook site, send 00:01:54.799 --> 00:01:57.840 stars. Notice the little cash app link along 00:01:57.840 --> 00:02:01.920 the bottom. Feel free to donate. And again, I 00:02:01.920 --> 00:02:03.879 want to thank everybody for tapping in, comment, 00:02:04.159 --> 00:02:06.980 interact with me. I read the comments. I try 00:02:06.980 --> 00:02:10.680 to get to them as quickly as I can. But let's 00:02:10.680 --> 00:02:13.360 go ahead and let's get started. I hope you guys 00:02:13.360 --> 00:02:17.930 are ready. So let me ask you something. Have 00:02:17.930 --> 00:02:22.490 you ever said, sure, when your entire soul was 00:02:22.490 --> 00:02:26.870 screaming absolutely not, or agreed to help somebody, 00:02:27.129 --> 00:02:29.669 then immediately regretted it the moment you 00:02:29.669 --> 00:02:33.469 hung up the phone? Yeah. Welcome to the world 00:02:33.469 --> 00:02:38.569 of people pleasing, where everyone is happy and 00:02:38.569 --> 00:02:43.310 you're quietly exhausted. Today, we are getting 00:02:43.310 --> 00:02:48.069 into something deep, but necessary. People pleasing 00:02:48.069 --> 00:02:53.289 is self -abandonment, not kindness, not generosity, 00:02:53.870 --> 00:02:57.770 not just being nice. Sometimes it's you leaving 00:02:57.770 --> 00:03:01.030 yourself behind to keep other people comfortable 00:03:01.030 --> 00:03:05.710 and maybe we're not doing that anymore. So let's 00:03:05.710 --> 00:03:07.990 break it down. For those of us who don't know 00:03:07.990 --> 00:03:10.289 what people pleasing is, here's what it actually 00:03:10.289 --> 00:03:13.800 looks like. Because sometimes it's not always 00:03:13.800 --> 00:03:16.560 obvious, right? It's not always right in our 00:03:16.560 --> 00:03:20.199 face of what people pleasing is. Sometimes it 00:03:20.199 --> 00:03:23.219 looks like saying yes when you want to say no, 00:03:23.560 --> 00:03:28.939 over explaining your boundaries, apologizing 00:03:28.939 --> 00:03:33.560 for things that aren't your fault, avoiding conflict 00:03:33.560 --> 00:03:37.680 at all costs, constantly worrying about what 00:03:37.680 --> 00:03:41.289 people think. and changing your personality depending 00:03:41.289 --> 00:03:44.889 on who you're around, or my personal favorite, 00:03:45.909 --> 00:03:50.310 volunteering your soul for stress you never signed 00:03:50.310 --> 00:03:55.110 up for. Hey family, thanks for joining in. You 00:03:55.110 --> 00:03:58.530 ever been in a group chat, like they say, who 00:03:58.530 --> 00:04:01.650 can help move on a Saturday? And before your 00:04:01.650 --> 00:04:05.370 brain even processes the request you type, I 00:04:05.370 --> 00:04:09.379 can help. Now it's Friday night. It's last minute 00:04:09.379 --> 00:04:11.879 and you're sitting here like what did I just 00:04:11.879 --> 00:04:16.740 do? Why did I just say yes, right? So let's kind 00:04:16.740 --> 00:04:20.639 of dive into why people become people pleasers. 00:04:21.060 --> 00:04:26.420 So here's the real key. Most people, most people 00:04:26.420 --> 00:04:31.220 pleasing doesn't start in adulthood. It actually 00:04:31.220 --> 00:04:34.860 starts in childhood. If you grew up in environments 00:04:34.860 --> 00:04:39.240 where love felt conditional, Peace depended on 00:04:39.240 --> 00:04:44.160 your behavior, conflict felt unsafe, or you had 00:04:44.160 --> 00:04:48.839 to be the good one or the peacemaker, you developed 00:04:48.839 --> 00:04:54.060 people pleasing. You learned something very powerful 00:04:54.060 --> 00:04:57.680 at a young age. You learned that keeping others 00:04:57.680 --> 00:05:03.680 happy keeps you safe. So now your brain thinks 00:05:03.680 --> 00:05:07.959 disappointing people equals danger. Even if the 00:05:07.959 --> 00:05:11.319 danger is just someone being annoyed, your nervous 00:05:11.319 --> 00:05:14.060 system doesn't know the difference. So it says, 00:05:14.220 --> 00:05:17.720 quick, fix it, make them happy, even if it costs 00:05:17.720 --> 00:05:21.180 you your peace. That's something we're no longer 00:05:21.180 --> 00:05:24.600 doing. We learn that as children, we learn that 00:05:24.600 --> 00:05:27.639 as adolescents that in order to keep the peace 00:05:27.639 --> 00:05:36.959 in our households, we had to suffer. abide by 00:05:36.959 --> 00:05:40.399 what was going on to keep people quiet, to keep 00:05:40.399 --> 00:05:42.939 the household at peace. Thanks for the gifts 00:05:42.939 --> 00:05:44.899 that I'm getting. I appreciate it. Thanks, guys. 00:05:46.000 --> 00:05:47.720 Again, I'm new to the TikTok side. So if you're 00:05:47.720 --> 00:05:50.759 sending things, I appreciate it. I really do 00:05:50.759 --> 00:05:53.420 appreciate it. I'm trying to understand that. 00:05:53.519 --> 00:05:56.019 So thank y 'all. Keep tapping the screen, keep 00:05:56.019 --> 00:05:58.100 commenting. Let me know you're in here and I'll 00:05:58.100 --> 00:06:03.540 interact with you guys. So now, our brain thinks 00:06:03.540 --> 00:06:06.939 disappointing people is dangerous. We think that 00:06:06.939 --> 00:06:10.339 the danger is someone being annoyed with us because 00:06:10.339 --> 00:06:14.420 we aren't giving them what they want. So let's 00:06:14.420 --> 00:06:16.899 go ahead and we're gonna jump into segment three. 00:06:18.199 --> 00:06:23.519 The hitting cost of people pleasing. So here's 00:06:23.519 --> 00:06:26.959 what people don't talk about. People pleasing 00:06:26.959 --> 00:06:31.120 has consequences. And I mean real consequences. 00:06:31.759 --> 00:06:37.069 It can lead to burnout. resentment, anxiety, 00:06:37.649 --> 00:06:42.370 losing your sense of identity, feeling invisible 00:06:42.370 --> 00:06:48.290 in relationships. Man, I be feeling all of this. 00:06:48.410 --> 00:06:51.050 I don't know about you, but Ms. Mom is here. 00:06:51.589 --> 00:06:54.170 I be feeling all of this. I feel the burnout. 00:06:54.490 --> 00:06:56.889 I feel the resentment. I can feel the anxiety. 00:06:57.589 --> 00:07:00.290 I can feel in those relationships where I'm losing 00:07:00.290 --> 00:07:03.649 my sense of identity because I'm not. standing 00:07:03.649 --> 00:07:06.810 firm in my boundaries, or telling that person, 00:07:06.970 --> 00:07:12.910 no. When you constantly prioritize everyone else, 00:07:13.370 --> 00:07:17.569 you stop asking yourself one important question. 00:07:18.790 --> 00:07:24.470 What do I actually want? And the scariest part? 00:07:25.709 --> 00:07:29.329 Eventually, you may not even know the answer 00:07:29.329 --> 00:07:34.300 because you spent so long adjusting yourself 00:07:34.300 --> 00:07:39.079 for everyone else. So what is it that you want? 00:07:39.480 --> 00:07:43.600 What is it that you want for you? So here's a 00:07:43.600 --> 00:07:46.060 little reality check. Let's be honest for a second. 00:07:46.879 --> 00:07:50.139 People -pleasers are some of the nicest people 00:07:50.139 --> 00:07:54.680 in the world. But sometimes we be out here running 00:07:54.680 --> 00:07:57.759 a charity organization. Nobody asked us to start. 00:07:58.579 --> 00:08:05.129 We legit give our support. free labor, therapy 00:08:05.129 --> 00:08:12.709 sessions, life advice, all while our own battery 00:08:12.709 --> 00:08:18.610 is at 1%. Check on your strong friends. We're 00:08:18.610 --> 00:08:22.110 not always strong. We battle things secretly 00:08:22.110 --> 00:08:24.750 and internally. Because we don't want to put 00:08:24.750 --> 00:08:27.069 no more on you than what you're going through 00:08:27.069 --> 00:08:30.449 But we cross our own boundaries to help you and 00:08:30.449 --> 00:08:34.070 we neglect ourselves Meanwhile the people that 00:08:34.070 --> 00:08:37.450 we're bending over backwards for you. They are 00:08:37.450 --> 00:08:40.669 sleeping peacefully They're living their best 00:08:40.669 --> 00:08:46.210 life not even realizing we're stressed We are 00:08:46.210 --> 00:08:49.860 hanging on by a thread and we're doing that That 00:08:49.860 --> 00:08:52.399 little nervous laugh when people are asking us 00:08:52.399 --> 00:08:56.299 how are you wherever there? I'm fine All good 00:08:56.299 --> 00:08:59.200 things my road is just crashing down around me. 00:08:59.200 --> 00:09:03.139 But yes, I can help you Yes, I can give my bottom 00:09:03.139 --> 00:09:05.360 dollar to you and then the next week when I need 00:09:05.360 --> 00:09:10.799 yours Where is it? The next the the next meal 00:09:10.799 --> 00:09:13.759 that I need and I need you to cover where are 00:09:13.759 --> 00:09:19.399 you? crazy work how we how we decide to please 00:09:19.399 --> 00:09:22.279 others and how we go above and beyond for others, 00:09:22.279 --> 00:09:25.240 because that's all we know. We started doing 00:09:25.240 --> 00:09:27.360 that as children. Like I said, people pleasing 00:09:27.360 --> 00:09:30.320 starts at a young age. We started doing that 00:09:30.320 --> 00:09:34.139 with our parents, with our moms, with our dads, 00:09:34.299 --> 00:09:36.879 seeking the approval for them and then not getting 00:09:36.879 --> 00:09:39.539 that approval, which caused us to seek it more, 00:09:39.740 --> 00:09:43.019 try to get it more. So then as adults, we try 00:09:43.019 --> 00:09:47.700 to seek the approval in our partners, in our 00:09:47.700 --> 00:09:52.259 friendships, on our jobs. So we go above and 00:09:52.259 --> 00:09:56.860 beyond what is required, what is necessary, and 00:09:56.860 --> 00:10:02.200 we burn ourselves out every time. So how does 00:10:02.200 --> 00:10:04.620 people pleasing disconnect you from yourself? 00:10:05.340 --> 00:10:09.559 Let's talk about it. People pleasing slowly disconnects 00:10:09.559 --> 00:10:12.799 you from your voice. It disconnects you from 00:10:12.799 --> 00:10:18.059 your boundaries, your needs and your truth. Because 00:10:18.059 --> 00:10:21.259 every time you silence yourself to keep someone 00:10:21.259 --> 00:10:24.519 else comfortable, you send a message to yourself. 00:10:25.379 --> 00:10:29.059 My needs are less important. And if you repeat 00:10:29.059 --> 00:10:33.139 that message enough times, it comes to a belief. 00:10:43.399 --> 00:10:46.879 That hit. I'm sorry. I don't know about you But 00:10:46.879 --> 00:10:50.899 that hit me Let me say something important to 00:10:50.899 --> 00:10:57.200 y 'all Your needs matter If you don't remember 00:10:57.200 --> 00:10:59.799 nothing from the parapet podcast to my tiktok 00:10:59.799 --> 00:11:04.000 side that is just joining in if you don't believe 00:11:04.000 --> 00:11:14.460 nothing else Your needs matter Your boundaries 00:11:14.460 --> 00:11:23.320 matter. Your comfort matters too. You're not 00:11:23.320 --> 00:11:28.100 wrong for wanting to please people. Where you're 00:11:28.100 --> 00:11:31.700 wrong at is neglecting who you are to please 00:11:31.700 --> 00:11:36.480 people. Where you're going wrong at is neglecting 00:11:36.480 --> 00:11:39.740 the boundaries that you have put up to keep you 00:11:39.740 --> 00:11:44.019 safe. And you cross those boundaries to make 00:11:44.019 --> 00:11:47.860 another person, another place, another thing, 00:11:48.220 --> 00:11:51.460 another noun, adjective, adverb, make them happy. 00:11:52.840 --> 00:11:56.940 You don't have to do that. Your comfort matters. 00:11:57.940 --> 00:12:04.639 Your boundaries matter. Your needs matter. Now, 00:12:05.559 --> 00:12:10.490 I want everybody. Grab your Parapy Journal. So 00:12:10.490 --> 00:12:13.490 to my TikTok side, and yes to my TikTok side, 00:12:13.610 --> 00:12:16.230 welcome to the Parapy Podcast again. We have 00:12:16.230 --> 00:12:18.529 Parapy Journals. The Facebook side knows about 00:12:18.529 --> 00:12:21.009 it and the YouTube side knows about it. You get 00:12:21.009 --> 00:12:23.610 your Parapy Journal and you get your Parapy Pen. 00:12:24.090 --> 00:12:28.850 This is our time where we have the healing meet 00:12:28.850 --> 00:12:31.669 the hustle. Hang on, I got a little banner for 00:12:31.669 --> 00:12:38.389 it. It's somewhere. Oh, Sin Stars. But now it's 00:12:38.389 --> 00:12:40.269 time for the healing to meet the hustle. Let 00:12:40.269 --> 00:12:42.850 me get the banner out. And again, if you would 00:12:42.850 --> 00:12:45.350 like to see the graphics, you can join in on 00:12:45.350 --> 00:12:49.289 the YouTube side at the Parapy Podcast YouTube. 00:12:50.169 --> 00:12:53.730 So here we go. Grab your Parapy Journal, grab 00:12:53.730 --> 00:12:56.429 your pen, grab your line. It's time for the healing 00:12:56.429 --> 00:12:58.929 to meet the hustle. So here are some practical 00:12:58.929 --> 00:13:03.250 tips to stop people pleasing. Because awareness 00:13:03.250 --> 00:13:08.720 is step one, but action is step two. Tip number 00:13:08.720 --> 00:13:12.779 one, you are going to take a pause before answering. 00:13:13.539 --> 00:13:18.399 Stop responding immediately. Give yourself space. 00:13:19.139 --> 00:13:23.399 Instead of saying yes right away, try saying 00:13:23.399 --> 00:13:26.919 let me think about it or I'll get back to you. 00:13:27.659 --> 00:13:31.100 That pause gives your brain time to think and 00:13:31.100 --> 00:13:36.500 time to ask, do I really want to do this? Do 00:13:36.500 --> 00:13:39.120 I really want to be bothered with this person? 00:13:39.840 --> 00:13:43.259 Do I really want to take time out of my day to 00:13:43.259 --> 00:13:48.539 do this? So again, tip number one was pause before 00:13:48.539 --> 00:13:53.179 answering. Tip number two, practice small boundaries. 00:13:53.899 --> 00:13:57.179 You don't have to start with a huge confrontations. 00:13:57.639 --> 00:14:05.279 Start small. Start by saying things like, I can't 00:14:05.279 --> 00:14:08.539 make it today. Without writing a five paragraph 00:14:08.539 --> 00:14:11.919 explanation, you don't owe everybody a TED Talk. 00:14:12.120 --> 00:14:14.440 You don't owe everybody an explanation. You don't 00:14:14.440 --> 00:14:18.159 owe everybody a sentence. You could just simply 00:14:18.159 --> 00:14:21.360 say no. You don't have to explain your reasoning 00:14:21.360 --> 00:14:24.740 why. You don't want to do it. It is what it is. 00:14:25.039 --> 00:14:27.440 That's not your cup of tea. You don't like it. 00:14:28.419 --> 00:14:33.220 That is okay. That's fine. Tip number three. 00:14:34.639 --> 00:14:40.080 Accept that disappointment is normal. Ooh, that's 00:14:40.080 --> 00:14:43.279 a heavy tip. So you're going to want to accept 00:14:43.279 --> 00:14:48.399 that disappointment is normal. Some people will 00:14:48.399 --> 00:14:51.379 be disappointed. You cannot please everybody, 00:14:51.840 --> 00:14:55.919 and that's okay. Disappointment is not rejection. 00:14:56.399 --> 00:15:00.500 It's not abandonment. It's just part of being 00:15:00.500 --> 00:15:05.980 human. You are not... responsible for managing 00:15:05.980 --> 00:15:11.720 everyone's emotions. Again, you can't please 00:15:11.720 --> 00:15:15.919 everybody. You simply can't. It's hard to please 00:15:15.919 --> 00:15:18.299 everybody. It's really hard. Shout out to my 00:15:18.299 --> 00:15:20.779 TikTokers. We hit a flash goal. I love that for 00:15:20.779 --> 00:15:23.779 us. Yes. Okay. I'm liking that for us. Shout 00:15:23.779 --> 00:15:25.600 out to y 'all. Keep going. Keep hitting that. 00:15:26.200 --> 00:15:28.779 Tip number four, we're going to check in with 00:15:28.779 --> 00:15:32.059 yourself regularly. So you're going to ask yourself, 00:15:32.429 --> 00:15:36.350 What do I need right now? Am I doing this out 00:15:36.350 --> 00:15:41.070 of love or fear? Am I showing up for others but 00:15:41.070 --> 00:15:46.289 abandoning myself? Self -awareness is the beginning 00:15:46.289 --> 00:15:51.649 of self -respect. Self -awareness is the beginning 00:15:51.649 --> 00:15:55.309 of self -respect. So you need to be aware of 00:15:55.309 --> 00:15:58.049 yourself, your needs, and what you're lacking. 00:15:58.429 --> 00:16:00.970 So again, those questions are what do I need 00:16:00.970 --> 00:16:03.470 right now? For me, I need a drink. I need some 00:16:03.470 --> 00:16:09.710 wine. Am I doing this out of love or am I doing 00:16:09.710 --> 00:16:12.149 it out of fear? Am I doing it out of because 00:16:12.149 --> 00:16:14.570 I want to keep the peace so I'm letting it slide? 00:16:15.629 --> 00:16:21.129 Or am I doing it because I'm okay with it? And 00:16:21.129 --> 00:16:24.649 a lot of the times we say that within our relationship 00:16:24.649 --> 00:16:31.679 arguments. For me, I do this a lot. I will okay 00:16:31.679 --> 00:16:34.379 somebody and knock it off and apologize just 00:16:34.379 --> 00:16:39.460 to keep the peace. And I could be nowhere near 00:16:39.460 --> 00:16:43.460 in the wrong. I could be dead ass right. How 00:16:43.460 --> 00:16:46.539 I'm feeling is how I'm feeling. But if my partner, 00:16:46.960 --> 00:16:48.960 if me and them aren't getting along and because 00:16:48.960 --> 00:16:51.360 I'm not a confrontational person or because I 00:16:51.360 --> 00:16:53.940 suffer from people pleasing, the first thing 00:16:53.940 --> 00:16:55.200 I'm going to do is I'm going to be like, okay, 00:16:55.259 --> 00:16:58.460 so I apologize. I shouldn't have did this. I 00:16:58.460 --> 00:17:00.899 shouldn't have did that. I'm finding the fault 00:17:00.899 --> 00:17:03.759 that I did when really I didn't do anything. 00:17:05.160 --> 00:17:10.859 I'm wasting my apology. So that is a major form 00:17:10.859 --> 00:17:13.059 of people pleasing. And it's because it's because 00:17:13.059 --> 00:17:19.579 I'm not doing the argument due justice by apologizing 00:17:19.579 --> 00:17:22.579 out of love. I'm apologizing out of fear. I'm 00:17:22.579 --> 00:17:27.220 apologizing out of this is going to go bad where 00:17:27.220 --> 00:17:29.859 I'm getting ready to get abandoned. So instead 00:17:29.859 --> 00:17:33.160 of being abandoned, let me go ahead and fix it. 00:17:34.819 --> 00:17:39.200 So audience engagement question. I want you guys 00:17:39.200 --> 00:17:42.720 in the comments on both on all four platforms 00:17:42.720 --> 00:17:44.960 tonight. Oh, that's so good to say. We're on 00:17:44.960 --> 00:17:47.579 four platforms. We're on TikTok, Facebook, YouTube 00:17:47.579 --> 00:17:52.099 and Twitch on all four platforms tonight. Comment 00:17:52.099 --> 00:17:55.289 your answers below. I want to hear from you. 00:17:56.730 --> 00:18:01.250 What's one situation where you tend to people 00:18:01.250 --> 00:18:06.910 please the most? Is it with your family, work, 00:18:07.809 --> 00:18:11.829 friendships, or relationships? Go ahead and put 00:18:11.829 --> 00:18:14.349 that in the comments. What's one relationship 00:18:14.349 --> 00:18:17.170 where you tend to people please the most? Family, 00:18:17.750 --> 00:18:20.880 work, friendships, relationships. And if you 00:18:20.880 --> 00:18:22.900 don't want to comment, that's totally fine. But 00:18:22.900 --> 00:18:26.480 take a mental note of it. Then I want you to 00:18:26.480 --> 00:18:30.660 ask yourself this question. What would it look 00:18:30.660 --> 00:18:36.839 like if you chose yourself in that moment instead? 00:18:39.140 --> 00:18:44.799 Ask yourself that. What would it look like if 00:18:44.799 --> 00:18:53.890 you chose you in that moment instead? How does 00:18:53.890 --> 00:18:57.990 that feel to know that you could have chose you 00:18:57.990 --> 00:19:02.549 in that moment? But instead you chose someone 00:19:02.549 --> 00:19:06.650 else you chose their needs over yours or you 00:19:06.650 --> 00:19:09.589 chose to satisfy let's let's change that you 00:19:09.589 --> 00:19:14.710 chose to satisfy their needs over yours you chose 00:19:14.710 --> 00:19:20.029 to say Forget how I'm feeling. It's all about 00:19:20.029 --> 00:19:26.410 you How does that feel? To know that? Because 00:19:26.410 --> 00:19:27.970 when I read this the first time it rocked my 00:19:27.970 --> 00:19:30.490 road, I'm not even going to hold you. I felt 00:19:30.490 --> 00:19:34.410 like, oh, baby girl was down bad. I'm talking 00:19:34.410 --> 00:19:38.309 bad. I mean, crying, reading over this and getting 00:19:38.309 --> 00:19:42.690 this ready for y 'all. It was a lot. And for 00:19:42.690 --> 00:19:47.309 me personally, where I do the most people pleasing 00:19:47.309 --> 00:19:51.420 is with family. I'm gonna be the first to say 00:19:51.420 --> 00:19:54.819 it. Family and friendships, it's a double win 00:19:54.819 --> 00:19:59.240 for me. It's family and friendships. Family because 00:19:59.240 --> 00:20:02.339 I feel like for me at the end of the day, they're 00:20:02.339 --> 00:20:07.240 family. So you don't, they're a lot harder to 00:20:07.240 --> 00:20:09.880 say no to. They're a lot harder to put the boundaries 00:20:09.880 --> 00:20:13.500 up. But as I get older, as I get wiser, as I 00:20:13.500 --> 00:20:16.240 do these inner work series and inner work help, 00:20:16.740 --> 00:20:19.849 I'm realizing that it's okay to tell family no 00:20:19.849 --> 00:20:23.730 even the intermediate family it's okay to put 00:20:23.730 --> 00:20:27.569 that boundary up and to protect your peace and 00:20:27.569 --> 00:20:29.670 protect how you're feeling that's totally okay 00:20:29.670 --> 00:20:34.930 that's totally okay because as i'm learning and 00:20:34.930 --> 00:20:39.809 as i'm going through this healing thing of life 00:20:39.809 --> 00:20:46.109 i'm the prize in my life I'm the prize and anybody 00:20:46.109 --> 00:20:48.450 else's life that I come in contact with. That's 00:20:48.450 --> 00:20:55.470 me. And anybody is deserving of having me. Anybody 00:20:55.470 --> 00:20:58.650 who has me or who gets to experience my kindness 00:20:58.650 --> 00:21:01.369 and experience me as a person is definitely winning. 00:21:02.250 --> 00:21:07.170 Winning. Top tier. Winning the prize. But it 00:21:07.170 --> 00:21:10.589 took me a minute to get here. It took me a minute 00:21:10.589 --> 00:21:18.980 to realize that the people pleasing is not prize 00:21:18.980 --> 00:21:22.779 worthy. The people pleasing actually tarnishes 00:21:22.779 --> 00:21:31.700 the prize. You wanna know why? Because you diminish 00:21:31.700 --> 00:21:37.740 yourself to please others. You drop yourself 00:21:37.740 --> 00:21:41.339 below the standard to please others. Your standard 00:21:41.339 --> 00:21:45.950 should be up here of who you are. And I tell 00:21:45.950 --> 00:21:48.410 all my girls, especially my young girlies, the 00:21:48.410 --> 00:21:51.930 young girls are coming up. Proverbs 31 tells 00:21:51.930 --> 00:21:54.730 us that our price is far above rubies. We are 00:21:54.730 --> 00:21:58.029 far above rubies. But when you people please 00:21:58.029 --> 00:22:00.250 and when you let everybody touch that ruby and 00:22:00.250 --> 00:22:03.589 tarnish that ruby and smudge that ruby, you diminish 00:22:03.589 --> 00:22:06.710 who you are. You diminish your value. You're 00:22:06.710 --> 00:22:10.309 diminishing your price because you're neglecting 00:22:10.309 --> 00:22:14.769 yourself. We got to stop that. We're worth more 00:22:14.769 --> 00:22:16.809 than that. We're better than that. And we can 00:22:16.809 --> 00:22:20.289 be better than that. So with that being said, 00:22:20.430 --> 00:22:23.490 it is my favorite time of the night. Love this 00:22:23.490 --> 00:22:27.029 time of the podcast. It is time for a pair formation. 00:22:27.690 --> 00:22:30.089 So again, if you want to see the graphics, you 00:22:30.089 --> 00:22:32.329 can go over to the YouTube side on the Parapie 00:22:32.329 --> 00:22:34.910 podcast and see the graphics. But it's time for 00:22:34.910 --> 00:22:37.869 pair formations. Pair formations are affirmations, 00:22:38.049 --> 00:22:40.930 Parapie style. So let's go ahead and let's dive 00:22:40.930 --> 00:22:46.039 on into them. So I want you guys to repeat after 00:22:46.039 --> 00:22:47.619 me. Of course, I'm not gonna be able to hear 00:22:47.619 --> 00:22:49.619 you. But hey, let's just go ahead and do it. 00:22:49.720 --> 00:22:51.680 Shout out to Akilah on the Facebook side for 00:22:51.680 --> 00:22:53.460 sending a star. Shout out to Kim in the comments. 00:22:53.700 --> 00:22:55.579 Tell my team, baby, because I don't know. And 00:22:55.579 --> 00:22:58.720 she also said relationships is where she's people 00:22:58.720 --> 00:23:01.180 pleasing a lot. Shout out to people who are commenting 00:23:01.180 --> 00:23:02.960 on the Facebook side. Shout out to people on 00:23:02.960 --> 00:23:05.079 the TikTok side who are sending gifts, who are 00:23:05.079 --> 00:23:08.039 hearting the live. Make sure you double tap the 00:23:08.039 --> 00:23:12.349 screen. Make sure you follow us on YouTube. Facebook 00:23:12.349 --> 00:23:15.950 and Twitch. You can also find the audio to this 00:23:15.950 --> 00:23:19.509 next day on Apple Podcasts, Spotify Podcasts, 00:23:19.529 --> 00:23:21.710 our Heart Radio Podcasts, anywhere where podcasts 00:23:21.710 --> 00:23:24.910 are distributed. Guess what? We're there. Alrighty, 00:23:25.029 --> 00:23:26.890 let's go ahead and let's knock out these pair 00:23:26.890 --> 00:23:31.930 of formations. The first one is, I am allowed 00:23:31.930 --> 00:23:39.670 to say no without guilt. My boundaries protect 00:23:39.670 --> 00:23:48.259 my peace. I do not have to abandon myself to 00:23:48.259 --> 00:23:54.119 be loved. Disappointing others does not make 00:23:54.119 --> 00:24:00.059 me a bad person. I am learning to choose myself 00:24:00.059 --> 00:24:07.599 without an apology. And lastly, my needs deserve 00:24:07.599 --> 00:24:13.710 space in every room I enter. Ooh, we got some 00:24:13.710 --> 00:24:15.529 good ones tonight. Go ahead and collect those. 00:24:15.630 --> 00:24:17.470 Go ahead and collect those pair of formations. 00:24:17.950 --> 00:24:20.809 I'll repeat those. So the first one is I am allowed 00:24:20.809 --> 00:24:27.630 to say no without guilt. My boundaries protect 00:24:27.630 --> 00:24:34.009 my peace. I do not have to abandon myself to 00:24:34.009 --> 00:24:39.349 be loved. Disappointing others does not make 00:24:39.349 --> 00:24:44.059 me a bad person. And I am learning to choose 00:24:44.059 --> 00:24:50.039 myself without apology. And lastly, my needs 00:24:50.039 --> 00:24:56.400 deserve space in every room I enter. That last 00:24:56.400 --> 00:24:58.420 one just really like, that last one just hits 00:24:58.420 --> 00:25:03.140 for me. So before we close out, and before we 00:25:03.140 --> 00:25:06.420 do our close out message, we do have some advertisements, 00:25:07.039 --> 00:25:10.329 Parapy style. So our first advertisement and 00:25:10.329 --> 00:25:12.809 again to see these graphics head on over to the 00:25:12.809 --> 00:25:17.089 YouTube side I'm gonna give a shout -out to knucklehead 00:25:17.089 --> 00:25:19.369 clothing. They are the proud sponsor of the Parapie 00:25:19.369 --> 00:25:21.730 podcast You can get your knucklehead clothing 00:25:21.730 --> 00:25:27.549 at www .knuckleheadclothing .com again, that's 00:25:27.549 --> 00:25:37.599 www .NAKOLHEAD and make sure you stay driven 00:25:37.599 --> 00:25:39.619 as you order yourself some knucklehead clothing. 00:25:41.039 --> 00:25:43.900 Our next announcement here, we got the couch 00:25:43.900 --> 00:25:48.960 talk couch fest Sunday, April 19th, 6pm. They 00:25:48.960 --> 00:25:51.339 are taking, hang on, let me move that banner. 00:25:56.660 --> 00:26:00.490 Okay. They are accepting bookings for artists 00:26:00.490 --> 00:26:03.549 now. So again, if you need to book your artists 00:26:03.549 --> 00:26:05.230 or if you would like to book your artists, if 00:26:05.230 --> 00:26:07.470 someone can tag Smurf in the comments, that would 00:26:07.470 --> 00:26:10.410 be greatly appreciated on Facebook. The couch 00:26:10.410 --> 00:26:13.930 fest, he is accepting artists bookings for performances, 00:26:14.609 --> 00:26:17.450 podcast bookings for live streamers. Just reach 00:26:17.450 --> 00:26:21.410 out to him and get on the show for April the 00:26:21.410 --> 00:26:24.589 19th. That is at 6pm with the location to be 00:26:24.589 --> 00:26:29.880 announced. Next, my favorite event is coming 00:26:29.880 --> 00:26:32.539 up, the Kansas City podcast convention number 00:26:32.539 --> 00:26:35.799 five from 2 p .m. to 6 p .m. Central Standard 00:26:35.799 --> 00:26:39.180 Time, March 22nd at the Royal Mansion in Kansas 00:26:39.180 --> 00:26:41.980 City. It is hosted by the Get It Off Your Chest 00:26:41.980 --> 00:26:44.720 podcast and the Everybody Loves Ross podcast. 00:26:45.200 --> 00:26:49.680 You'll see myself therapy, Treat Me Crazy, popular 00:26:49.680 --> 00:26:55.319 ignorance, Jessica's Edelpoor Treats. You'll 00:26:55.319 --> 00:26:59.259 see creative treasures in there as well in a 00:26:59.259 --> 00:27:02.000 fatty food. You'll see them as well as vendors 00:27:02.000 --> 00:27:05.380 and a whole bunch of more people there. Nucklehead 00:27:05.380 --> 00:27:07.559 clothing will be there as a vendor. Come out, 00:27:07.940 --> 00:27:11.059 support. Ball out. Black on the event. Let's 00:27:11.059 --> 00:27:14.079 do it. Let's do it. And ball out on your girl. 00:27:14.220 --> 00:27:15.720 Treat Me Crazy will be there with the treats. 00:27:16.380 --> 00:27:18.480 And we got a couple surprises for you this year 00:27:18.480 --> 00:27:20.359 with our treats. But I'm not going to give too 00:27:20.359 --> 00:27:23.069 much information out. Come out. Let's see what 00:27:23.069 --> 00:27:27.750 we have in shock. Our next pair of ties meant 00:27:27.750 --> 00:27:30.470 scary Perry podcast for the TikTok viewers, the 00:27:30.470 --> 00:27:33.230 scary Perry podcast is a podcast about true crime. 00:27:33.509 --> 00:27:36.750 This for the next four to six weeks, we are going 00:27:36.750 --> 00:27:40.210 into our mini series about cults and cult leaders. 00:27:40.470 --> 00:27:42.630 Our first cult leader that we're diving into 00:27:42.630 --> 00:27:46.029 tomorrow with Mila will be Jim Jones and we're 00:27:46.029 --> 00:27:48.869 talking the Jones massacre. We're talking about 00:27:48.869 --> 00:27:53.680 psychological control. charismatic manipulation, 00:27:54.079 --> 00:27:57.140 the rise and the fall of certain empires and 00:27:57.140 --> 00:28:00.200 cult empires and what it takes to be a cult leader. 00:28:00.680 --> 00:28:02.480 And then hopefully towards the end of the month, 00:28:02.619 --> 00:28:05.279 we'll have attorney Michael come back and he's 00:28:05.279 --> 00:28:07.579 going to let us know how as an attorney, how 00:28:07.579 --> 00:28:11.519 do we try when cult leaders have to go on trial? 00:28:11.799 --> 00:28:14.160 How do they do that as an attorney? And what 00:28:14.160 --> 00:28:15.980 are some of the things that they ask and things 00:28:15.980 --> 00:28:19.039 like that concerning the trial? So be on the 00:28:19.039 --> 00:28:24.039 lookout for that. And lastly, the Perry team 00:28:24.039 --> 00:28:27.000 management family is looking for sponsors. Our 00:28:27.000 --> 00:28:29.960 Misadventures of Snead podcast, The Academy KC 00:28:29.960 --> 00:28:34.640 podcast, Scary Perry podcast, The Parapy podcast, 00:28:35.119 --> 00:28:38.559 Popular Ignorance, and Pear Bear Child Care. 00:28:38.759 --> 00:28:41.039 We are all looking for sponsors. If you are interested 00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:44.359 in sponsoring an episode or just getting, you 00:28:44.359 --> 00:28:46.460 know, you want to make a donation to the business 00:28:46.460 --> 00:28:49.799 and to the brand, you can DM me on TikTok at 00:28:49.799 --> 00:28:52.720 Parapy. You can DM me on Facebook at Perry Thompson 00:28:52.720 --> 00:28:57.480 or on YouTube messages or on Twitch or on Instagram 00:28:57.480 --> 00:29:01.400 at Perry team management underscore. Alrighty, 00:29:01.539 --> 00:29:07.160 that was a mouthful and I am tired. Let's go 00:29:07.160 --> 00:29:10.720 ahead and let's close this out. Here's the truth. 00:29:11.980 --> 00:29:19.009 Being kind. is beautiful. Being generous is powerful. 00:29:20.250 --> 00:29:24.809 But sacrificing yourself for approval, that's 00:29:24.809 --> 00:29:32.849 not love. That's survival. And you deserve relationships 00:29:32.849 --> 00:29:36.910 where you can show up fully without shrinking, 00:29:37.549 --> 00:29:40.829 without pretending, without abandoning yourself. 00:29:41.789 --> 00:29:46.509 because healing sometimes looks like this. It 00:29:46.509 --> 00:29:51.809 looks like choosing your peace over people pleasing. 00:29:52.930 --> 00:29:55.390 I want to thank you guys for tuning in tonight's 00:29:55.390 --> 00:29:57.970 episode of Paraphy. I want to thank the TikTok 00:29:57.970 --> 00:30:00.410 side for joining in and joining out for those 00:30:00.410 --> 00:30:03.430 of you guys who sent likes, who sent gifts, who 00:30:03.430 --> 00:30:05.390 stayed and watched the whole show. I appreciate 00:30:05.390 --> 00:30:08.769 you for being a part of the show. Tune in next 00:30:08.769 --> 00:30:13.279 week. As we dive into another mini series, this 00:30:13.279 --> 00:30:15.700 mini series that we're going to dive into deals 00:30:15.700 --> 00:30:19.599 with attachment styles. So I'm ready to go ahead 00:30:19.599 --> 00:30:21.480 and break down and see what attachment style 00:30:21.480 --> 00:30:27.079 I got. My bad, in advance, I'm sorry. But all 00:30:27.079 --> 00:30:29.000 right, I hope you guys have a wonderful night. 00:30:29.200 --> 00:30:32.099 Again, thanks for tuning in. And thanks so much 00:30:32.099 --> 00:30:35.730 for being the best parapet. fan base that I could 00:30:35.730 --> 00:30:38.089 possibly have. I genuinely appreciate all you 00:30:38.089 --> 00:30:40.789 guys for tapping in. I genuinely appreciate y 00:30:40.789 --> 00:30:43.109 'all commenting and being a part of the show. 00:30:43.430 --> 00:30:45.910 And until next time, I'll see you guys tomorrow 00:30:45.910 --> 00:30:48.990 for Scary Perry. TikTok, I'll see you next week. 00:30:49.150 --> 00:30:51.450 Actually, no, TikTok, I'll see you Friday for 00:30:51.450 --> 00:30:54.509 morning Parapy sessions. And Facebook, if you 00:30:54.509 --> 00:30:57.269 guys want extra behind the scenes Parapy, head 00:30:57.269 --> 00:31:00.049 on over to the TikTok page, follow me at Parapy, 00:31:00.210 --> 00:31:02.589 and you guys get the extra live sessions there. 00:31:03.130 --> 00:31:04.180 See ya. Bye.