There I was, basking in the glory of being right.
I spotted the love story before it even started.
Just a little nudge from me and boom! Claire
was neck deep in the rom -com formula. Did I
gloat? Obviously. Am I insufferable? Deeply.
Do I regret it? Not for a second. But don't go
rolling the credits yet. We're just getting to
the juicy part. The slow burns. The bad decisions.
And of course, the voodoo love curses. Oh, spoilers.
Forget I said that. Stay tuned. Hey, Claire.
What are you doing here? Hey, Brian. Gosh, I
don't know. I'm stir crazy. Last night, I wrapped
up my last freelance gig and I went to a women
in advertising networking event. Now I'm over
here to harass you and Shannon and find out what
the heck freelancers do with themselves when
they don't have the next project lined up. Beats
me. You're looking at my first day of unemployment
in my entire adulthood. Hold up now. Are we calling
you unemployed? Well, I quit my job, right? Unemployed.
And you worked for me now, sir. For the family
business. And I'm sleeping with my boss already.
Don't call HR on me. God, quit it with the dad
jokes. You're not nervous losing that steady
paycheck? I sure am. Yeah, but we've got to try
it, right? Shannon is such a badass at what she
does, and she's been doing it all on her own.
If the genders were reversed, I don't think people
would bat an eye at my wife leaving her job to
support my work. Bingo. Spoken like a true feminist
ally. I knew I'd married the right man. I really
am proud of you both. I don't know if I have
the guts to keep at this freelancer thing. Could
it be, and I'm just spitballing here, could it
be that your identity is too caught up in your
career and winning awards? You're meddling in
my love life and now you're my career coach too?
Here I was paying you a compliment. I'm your
older sister. It's my job. You'd prefer me to
be pretentious and judgy like mom? Um, no. I
get it, Claire. Freelancing is a grind for sure.
You'll definitely have some dry spells, especially
in the beginning when you're getting yourself
established. But you are a creative badass. I'm
not worried about you. Have you ever considered
going into sales? They also think it's cool to
never stop working. Ew, Brian, sales pros are
the worst. Here, Claire, make a list of things
you can do when you don't have a paying gig.
You know, update your website, check in with
some industry friends to see what they're up
to, research. Oh, better yet. Go experience real
life. Nothing leads to better creativity than
having new experiences and, you know, letting
your mind wander. And if you want to get really
crazy, try stand -up comedy. I don't think I'm
emotionally damaged enough for that. Speaking
of new experiences, we're all going to see Tony's
show on Saturday. That'll be cool. Oh, can you
get us a babysitter? Is this an assignment as
your employee or as your husband? As the father
of children who aren't old enough to stay home
alone at night? Got it, boss. Guess I'm on the
clock. Okay, guys, I'm heading out. Gotta go
pound the pavement or whatever. Thank you, thank
you. Let's hear it one more time for our buddy
Tony. Tony, my man. That was awesome. What a
fun show. Hey, guys. Thanks for coming out. It
really was great. Hi. I'm glad you could come.
I'll get us all a pitcher. How about that? Just
a soda for me, thanks. Oh, right. You don't drink?
Generally, no. Is that a problem? No, not at
all. I just never picked up on that. Don't let
me stop you, though. I don't mind being around
people drinking. It's just not my thing anymore.
Claire, come with me to the ladies. Okay, I'll
be right back, Tony. Oh, that was too good. What?
It was really great. You're like a starstruck
schoolgirl the whole time they were on stage.
I don't know what you're talking about. Huck,
line, and sinker. The bassist will get you every
time. Please, you know that bassist at Shaky
Knees last year came up to me. Tonight's show
was great. I was enjoying the band. Yeah, you're
enjoying it all right. Ooh, Tony, sign my t -shirt.
Oh my gosh, you are so annoying. Just let me
see what happens, okay? Your meddling is making
me so self -conscious. I don't even know how
I feel because I don't want to give you the satisfaction.
Oh. Feelings, you say? Does my little sister
have feelings for a man? You know what? I think
I prefer you locked in a padded booth, except
I think you actually like it in there. There's
no winning with you. You know what? Let's just
go. Let's go. Ladies, here are your drinks. Donnie
was just telling me about an art opening he's
a part of next week. Oh, yeah? Yeah, it's a group
of artists that I know. Mostly skateboard deck
art, oddities, some kind of macabre pop art.
It'll be an interesting mix. A few of my pieces
will be there, too. He's multifaceted. I bet
Claire wants to see your pieces, Shannon. Would
y 'all like to come? Yes, we'd love to. Right,
Claire? You're not busy. He didn't even say what
day it was. Oh, hey, stop elbowing me. We'll
be there. Oh, shoot. It's the babysitter. Oh,
did we miss a text? Yeah, it's late. We should
go so I can give her a ride home. Dang, we were
having so much fun. Well, thanks you guys for
coming out. I'd love to see you guys play again
sometime. Claire, don't feel like you have to
leave with us. You're young, footloose, fancy
free. Oh, and a freelancer, so no plans tomorrow.
Yeah, Claire, I can give you a ride home. Yes,
Tony can give her a ride home. Let's go, babe.
Okay, this was great. Have a good rest of your
night. Okay, bye. See you later. So. So, I guess
I have to drink the rest of this pitcher by myself.
Well, you don't have to. Yeah. I do appreciate
you guys coming to see me play. You know, it's
always nice to see friends in the crowd. Yeah,
I bet. Is something wrong? You seem distracted.
I'm sorry. It's my sister. She just keeps making
things awkward and trying so hard to force something
to happen between us. You know, it's embarrassing.
I think it's sweet. She cares about you. I know,
but I can handle my own life, thank you. And
it just makes me feel like she thinks that I
can't. Okay, well, what are you up to on Saturday?
Do you know how to kayak? I've kayaked on a lake
before. Do you mean like river rapids or just
like puttering around? Puttering, floating around,
basically. I bought a kayak for fishing, but
turns out I don't really like fishing. Oh, thank
God. The only thing worse than dudes on dating
apps holding up a fish in their profile pic is
the river rapids dudes. Ugh, no. Do you know
how much flack I'd get from Dominique if she
caught me posting any of that? So, are you on
the dating apps? Not at the moment. I was trying
to ask a girl out on a kayaking date in real
life before I was so rudely interrupted. Oh,
please, continue. As I was saying, would you
like to go kayaking with me? I can borrow another
one from a friend. Hmm, yeah, I could be into
that. Okay, so we'll go kayaking. Shannon doesn't
have to know about it. We'll explore the lake,
I'll pack a snackle box, we'll see some turtles.
I do like turtles. Wait, what's a snackle box?
It's a tackle box full of snacks. Ah, aptly named.
Uh -huh. So it's a date then, and I'm sworn to
secrecy. Great. Also, you did look great up on
stage, like you were in your element. Aw, thanks.
It did feel good. I love playing music, but life
on the road, it's just, it's not for me anymore.
Yeah, now it's all art and restaurant design
and lawn care and treehouse building and... Parenting
and kayaking and running and, I don't know, yoga?
You seem like you do yoga. I've been known to
do some yoga. See? Multifaceted. What is up with
your family and that word? Hey Joel, what's up?
Claire, I'm dying. Are we figuratively dying
or actually dying? I have the flu. Oh, babe,
that sucks. Do you need me to bring you some
soup? No, I need you to fill in for me at a shoot.
What? A shoot. Today. Today? Oh my gosh, it's
Saturday. And we're supposed to be shooting that
social campaign for the chip brand today, and
they are kicking me off set because I have a
fever. You don't have anyone else at the agency
who can help? Come on. Claire, I need you. You
know the brand, you know the clients, you know
the work. Can you please come? You're not doing
anything today anyway. Excuse me, I actually
do have plans. Not work, but outdoorsy social
plans. Wait, are you seeing the sexy single daddy
today? I love the hot single daddy trope for
you. My personal life is not a trope, Joel. And
if anything, he's the sexy lumberjack trope.
Gasp. I die. Sexy single daddy slash lumberjack?
Get it, girl. Oh, does he also have slutty little
glasses like Jude Law on the holiday? Slutty
little... Okay, no. He doesn't even wear glasses.
Okay, but can you reschedule with him? I'll owe
you one. I'll get them to pay you double your
day rate. Oh. Okay, okay, yeah. I'll do it. Text
me the location and the scripts. I'll be there
soon. Okay. Feel better, Joel. Love you, Claire
Bear. Yeah, yeah. Call me when you're alive again.
Shit. Hey, Tony. Hey, Claire. You almost ready?
I'm all packed up and about to strap the kayaks
to the truck. Oh, about that. I'm so sorry, but
can we reschedule? Oh. Yeah, sorry. I just got
a call to work on a project. My old co -worker,
Joel, he's sick and he needs me to cover for
him at a shoot. Oh, okay. Bummer. And I could
really use the work right now. I'm so sorry.
No, no, that's okay. We'll do it another day.
Am I still going to see you at the art opening
later tonight? Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, I think
I'll be wrapped up by then and I'll meet you
there. Okay, sounds good. And again, I'm really
sorry. It's fine. Go make those coins, girl.
Brian, where is she? There's only an hour left
in the art show. I don't know where she is. Did
you text her? Yeah, like eight times in the last
two hours. She should be here by now. Hon, it's
fine. Let's just enjoy our night. But look at
Tony. He's over there working the crowd. Claire
should be here to meet his art friends. Babe,
it's fine. You know she's going to start backing
off if you keep making such a big deal about
her and Tony. You gotta be more subtle. Hmm,
subtlety is not my strong suit. Aw, but you have
so many other good qualities. So multifaceted.
We almost have one minor flaw. Hey, guys. Tony!
Great opening, man. I love the one with the Dia
de los Muertos possum skull. Yeah, that's my
friend Heather's work. It's fun. Nice. Got any
bites on your pieces? Yeah, I just sold two,
actually. Sweet. Congrats. Um, have you heard
from Claire? I thought I might see her here.
No, I haven't heard from her. Oh. Okay. Oh, here
comes my old buddy. Ah, Tony! Yes! Okay, can
I grab you? Just for a second, sorry. Um, I want
to introduce you to my friend Doug. Yeah, yeah.
Uh, excuse me, guys. Claire is doing it again,
Brian. Doing what? Putting work over everything.
She gets sucked into work and completely ignores
everything around her and keeps her phone on
silent. That's why she's still single. Is that
so wrong now and then? She needs the work. Don't
let her take this away from us. This thing I'm
manifesting with Claire and Tony is the best
thing that's ever happened to me. Best thing
that's ever happened to you? Not the kids? Not
your husband? Sure, sure, you're great too. Oh.
Not meeting Jake Fisher? Okay, that. That was
the best thing that's ever happened to me. There's
my girl. Come on, let's go see if we can buy
a possum skull. Hello? Tony, I'm really, really,
really, really, really sorry. Oh, hey. I know,
I explained everything last night, but since
you're not responding to my texts, I feel like...
What, you texted? Yeah, I'm trying not to stalk
you, but I was hoping we could still reschedule
our kayaking day. Oh, I just didn't see the text
because I'm driving. Oh, okay. Yeah, I've got
to do an installation in Chattanooga. The pieces
that didn't sell last night are going up in a
gallery. Oh, did a lot of the pieces sell? Yeah,
most of them. It was a good time. Should have
been there. Yeah, yeah, I know. I feel terrible
that I missed it. That's okay. I'll let you make
it up to me. How's that? You can keep me company
on the phone while I'm driving. Oh, okay. Well,
yeah, I can do that. Although I've never been
much of a phone person. Too many awkward silences.
What awkward silences? I don't know. The inevitable
ones? I mean, you just ask a question to keep
the conversation going. Right. Okay, so what
were you doing before I called? Actually, I was
listening to Shannon's audiobook. Midnight darkness.
You were not. I was. I had no idea about the
complexities of werepanther politics and lovemaking.
But boy, do I ever know about it now. I could
devour you, but I'd rather savor you. You know,
the infamous TikTok line? That's the one. But
that Jake Fisher guy, he'll be perfect in that
role. It's a very cinematic story. I'm totally
going to go see it when it comes out. You know,
I can't believe Shannon is turning you into a
romantic fan too. Hey, I get it. It's a guilty
pleasure, and it's part of the whole cultural
ethos. I like to keep up with what people are
into. You should get on BookTok. Uh, BookTok?
The hell is BookTok? It's kind of a TikTok, book,
nerd, subculture thing. Okay, I haven't seen
it, but it's probably going to show up in my
feed now. Probably. So, um... Um... Maybe I put
too much pressure on you about the awkward silence
thing. I think you're overthinking it now. Nope,
nope, nope, nope. I have another question queued
right up. Oh, it's an interview now. Okay. Yes,
so tell me about your family. Are your parents
around? Are you close to them? Do you have any
siblings? Okay, digging deep. Let's see. Yeah,
I'm pretty close to my parents. They live in
Florida on a boat. Yes, I have a brother. Also
in Florida. He's a biochemist. Okay. Your parents
live on a boat? Like a rich person's yacht? Or
like a houseboat? It's kind of like a retired
hippie houseboat. They're boat people. They boat
around the Florida Keys. It's a whole thing.
Huh, okay. Well, that sounds like a nice way
to spend retirement. Yeah, they seem to have
a good time. Um, what about you? Any siblings
other than Shannon? No, just the one. But she's
plenty, as you know. And your parents? Well,
I met your mom. She seemed really nice. Yeah,
my parents, as you know, drive me crazy. But
I guess, you know, their hearts are in the right
place. They just want what's best for Shannon
and me. And Brian. He's their favorite, obviously.
Right, yeah, I get that. He's a prized son -in
-law. Hey, so when do you want to go kayaking?
I'm so glad you asked. Let me pull up my calendar
on the computer. Calendar. I should really get
one of those. You don't have a calendar? What?
Well, I have a calendar. Dominique got me a derpy
cat meme calendar. I got it tacked up in the
workshop. But, you know, I really don't use it
very much. I kind of just keep stuff in my head.
Come on, dude. How do you keep track of your
commitments and your appointments and all the
various side hustles you have? Listen, I never
said I had a good system. Okay, well. Huh, this
is interesting. Uh, what? Oh, I just got an email
back from this agency I was talking to last week.
They want me to come up and interview for a contract
position. Oh, nice. That's awesome. Congrats.
An interview. It's in New York. Do I want to
bother interviewing in New York? Um, yeah. Seems
like you should at least take the interview.
And you'd get to go to New York. I guess so.
You're right. I'm not super interested in this
agency, but a quickie little trip to New York
would be fun. Hey, you're not going to believe
this. I actually have a meeting with a restaurant
client in Brooklyn next week. When's your trip?
Next week. Wow. What are the chances? Okay, I'm
just pulling in here. And my phone is blowing
up with texts from Brian. My Brian? Our Brian?
Shannon's Brian? One and the same. Looks like
he may be freaking out about quitting his job.
Okay. I'll let you go. Talk to you soon. Okay.
Bye. Brian, buddy, you got this. This is an opportunity
of a lifetime for you. You get to be a present
dad and you get to support the family business.
Oh, and no, I don't think you should grow a soul
patch. Learn from my mistakes, man. Also, don't
tell Shannon, but it looks like Claire and I
will be in New York at the same time next week.
Ha. Tony texted Brian, don't tell Shannon. You're
right. My husband tells me every time he accidentally
runs a yellow light. Of course he told me right
away. And should I mention how excited I was
that Tony and Brian were texting each other more
often? Middle -aged men being emotionally supportive
friends? So refreshing. But I'll save the bromance
for season two. This story is about Tony and
Claire. I was pretty pissed at Claire for missing
the art show. And for being sneaky about the
New York trip. But since I didn't know about
that part, I could just give in and be super
excited. Internally. New York. Just think of
all the great romantic movies that take place
in New York. A secret rendezvous. And their first
trip together in the Big Apple. Chef's kiss.
This story practically writes itself. The rom
-com formula was created, directed, produced,
and written by Susan Cooper, co -produced by
Micah Caldwell, and co -written by Micah Caldwell,
Rozzy Shadmery, and Scythe Sullyperm. Co -starring
Susan Cooper as Shannon, Micah Caldwell as Claire,
and Matt Fogarty as Tony. Joined in this episode
by an ensemble cast that includes Francisco Almonara
as Brian, Caden MacArthur as Joel, Sean Daly
as lead singer, and Abby Getty as Tony's art
friend. Series edited by Doug Lehman with post
-production provided by Rosebank Picture and
Sound. If this episode of the Rom -Com Formula
swept you off your feet, please like and subscribe,
leave us a review, share with your favorite hopeless
romantic, and follow us on Instagram at romcomformula
for bonus content. I am Diana Durand. Thanks
for listening.