Okay, so trying to manifest a real -life rom
-com while attending a massive romance -lit conference
with a thousand of your closest industry peers,
maintaining a healthy long -term marriage, raising
two kids who always seem to need snacks, running
a small business, drinking enough water, eating
enough fiber, doing your squats, remembering
your therapist's advice, calling your aging parents
regularly, and being a supportive sister -slash
-rom -com puppet master is a lot. Like, a lot,
a lot. So no, I don't always have time to keep
up with social media trends, and I definitely
wasn't prepared to become one at the conference.
But what you need to know is that it involved
that Jake Fisher heartthrob guy. You know the
one. Six -pack abs, oozes sex appeal, smolders
for a living. Turns out Claire wasn't the only
one in store for a wild ride. Speaking of Claire...
I was delighted to find out that she, Tony, and
the kids had hatched a plan to go to Six Flags
together. Okay, Dom, you ready for Six Flags?
Time to roll out and pick up the rest of the
gang. I could devour you, he whispered, his lips
hovering over hers, but I'd rather savor you.
Oh my god, that's legit! Dom, don't tell me you're
on that phone again. Dad! No, Kev. You have to
see this. Dom, you know I... Hold up. I know
that voice. That's my neighbor Shannon. No, that's
Jake Fisher. Huh? Okay, look. That is Jake Fisher.
And that's Shannon at the podium in the background.
Someone caught a clip of him lip -syncing her
reading at RomanceCon. It's going viral. Like,
TikTok is seriously gags. Let me see that. Oh,
hell. That's definitely Shannon. And that's definitely
Jake Fisher. And the banner in the back says
RomanceCon. Oh, shit. I think Shannon is about
to get her 15 minutes of fame whether she likes
it or not. Okay, skipping ahead in the lines
at Six Flags because of this boot feels like
I'm cheating. My foot barely even hurts. I didn't
know Claire was such a rule follower. Live a
little. It's not cheating. It's strategic suffering.
You earned this fast pass. We're not going to
get in trouble, are we, Tony? I don't really
want to get kicked off my first roller coaster.
No, no. It's okay, Jonathan. We're not going
to get in trouble. Don't worry about it, buddy.
Dad! Update from the top. The video has over
a million views now. What has a million views?
Uh, nothing, Samantha. Wait, Tony. What is it?
Uh... I didn't really want to say anything, but
there's this TikTok that's going viral with Shannon's
voice from her live reading. What? Where? Speak
of the devil. Shannon, hey. Yeah, Dominique just
told me. Wait, what? Jake Fisher what? Oh, he
posted a video of himself lip syncing your reading
of the Rare Panther book? No, people know it's
not his real voice. It's trending audio. No,
that's a good thing. Just breathe. It's the internet.
You might actually get more followers. Gotta
go. We're getting on a roller coaster. Bye. You
need a hand there? I'm good. I've got one working
foot, zero dignity. But still, both hands. Thanks,
though. Push down on your restraints and fasten
your seatbelt. So what did Shannon say? What
I'm gathering is... Whoa, no warning. Before
this thing really gets going, Jake Fisher lip
-synced her voice during that Midnight Darkness
reading, the Bear Panther one, and now BookTok
is unhinged. Her voice is now trending audio.
TikTokers are doing what they do best, making
thirst traps with it. I will never understand
TikTok. Because you're old. It's okay. Just know
this. Hot celebrity plus horny audiobook scene.
Yada, yada, yada. The algorithm explodes. I mean,
why can't people create their own content instead
of this trending audio BS? Oh man, this is really
high up. Tony, are you afraid of heights? Yes,
but I also love roller coasters. Both can be
true. Please stop talking. That actually is kind
of adorable. You think I'm adorable? This place
is so Y2K. It's a vibe. Does it have, um, Riz?
Cringe. Seriously, thanks for doing the go -karts
with me, Dad. Hopefully this line won't be too
long. Are you kidding me? I love go -karts. Believe
me, if Jonathan made me do another one of those
spinny rides, I was going to puke up my slushie.
Bruh, you have no chill. No chill? Please, I'm
the chillest dad ever. Do you want your sneakers
to be slushy vomit blue instead of that pristine
white? Who you calling bruh, bruh? Dad, I like
my sneakers clean. That's what's in right now.
Not like you and your grunge friends. Seriously,
nobody wears Converse anymore. Tom, that's what's
in right now. Come on, I have to maintain my
rock star image. Oh. When was the last time you
played a show again? Ooh, burn. Ouch, that hurts.
Hey, warn me before you come at me like that
next time. But don't you miss it, though? I could
never just stop playing piano. Waking up hungover
at two in the afternoon and sleeping on a tour
bus with a bunch of smelly dudes? No, I'm good.
No, like, seeing the crowd out there just vibing
with the music that you are making. Well... You
are wise beyond your years. Yeah. Yeah, I miss
that a lot. Not like these guys. What the hell
is this music? What in the AI bullshit is this
song? There's no way a human wrote this. But
Summer is here and it's out of sight. Dude is
weird. He says we can take it slow, but then
he offers her a drink because he's ready to go.
No, Dad! He's a nice guy. He just wants to go
surfing in the summer sun. Okay, so you're defending
it now. The sun is playing again. Okay, wait.
Are they going to hit the beach with a prosthetic
fin because they're reenacting Jaws? Come on.
Maybe their version of summer fun is terrorizing
tourists. Wait, wait. What did he... Did he just
say, we can beat the heat or beat the meat that
time? See, I'm telling you, he's a pervert. Dad,
gross. I don't think you're supposed to make
jokes like that with your kid. Okay, okay, so
now you complain after what you see online? We've
been in this line for 20 minutes. Please, please
tell me they aren't going to play it the whole
time. We can take it slow, let's beat the heat,
cause I'm ready to go. And it's all out of sight.
Ignore him. Okay folks, you go to lane one and
you to lane two. Dad, you drive like an old man.
I'm totally gonna win this. Oh, what? Okay, you're
totally going down. We'll see about that. Listeners,
hey, it's Shannon here. Doing the thing where
I'm breaking the fourth wall, like I'm interrupting
the scene to talk straight to the camera, or
the microphone in this case. Whatever. I just
had a great idea. What kind of rom -com would
this be if we didn't throw in a montage? I love
a good montage. Okay, starting now. Can you write
that one again? That was so fun. No, throw the
lemonade next. I'm with Samantha. Let's do that
one again. No, no, no. Superman was the best
one. Whoa. Did you see that pigeon carrying a
whole hamburger? Oh, hamburgers. Aunt Claire,
can we pretty please get hamburgers? Finish that
corn dog you're holding. Then we'll talk. Oh,
no, no, no, no. Nope. Not doing the Skylip. I
will gladly walk across the whole park. Dad,
come on. Just one time. It's so hot. Let's do
a water ride next. I don't want to mess up my
hair. Too late for that. You're all ready, Frizzy.
Dad. My feet are dying. You should try it in
a boot. Sam and I took this tie lift like smart
people. Yeah, but you missed Tony spraying soda
out of his nose. No! How could we miss that?
Oh, my gosh. What can I say? The kid's funny.
I could devour you, he whispered, his lips hovering
over hers. Oh, my God. But I'd rather save you.
Put the phone away, Dom. Wait, Kiki Palmer just
used Shannon's audio. This is blowing up. Wait,
let me see. Wow. Shannon's gonna lose her shit.
Aunt Claire said shit. Jonathan, don't say shit.
Oh, here she is. It's Shannon. Hey, Barrel Queen.
What is up? What the hell is happening? I don't
even have TikTok. People at this conference are
losing it. Dude, this can only be a good thing
for you. Just ride the wave, babe. Has the author
said anything? Hang on. Somebody's at the door.
One sec. Oh. Oh, God. It's Jake goddamn... It's
Jake goddamn Fisher. You're Jake Fisher. Hi,
I'm Jake. I love your work. Claire, it's Jake
goddamn Fisher at my door. Is he closed? Yes.
Bummer. Okay, go talk to him. Hi, I'm Shannon.
Claire, I gotta let you go. Well, Shannon's day
just took a turn. What did she say? So apparently
Jake Fisher knocked on her hotel room door and
she answered and hung up on me. She met Jake
Fisher? Did you guys have fun today? Yes. Can
we please go back? Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, that
was awesome. Gosh, I haven't done anything like
that in so long. And weren't you supposed to
work today? I was inspired to live a little.
You guys should have gone to the go -karts with
us. It was really fun. No way. You should have
seen Jonathan's face on the spinning ride. Yes.
That was awesome. Hey, Claire, you want to see
what I've done with the treehouse? Sure. I haven't
gotten the tour yet. The sun's starting to go
down already. Okay, come on up. Whoa, twinkle
lights. Tony, this is amazing. So much detail.
Oh, thanks. You know, I keep thinking of stuff
to add. Like a fireman's pole here, secret escape
hatch. Basically turning it into my boyhood fantasy.
Um, with fewer booby traps. It's a shame the
kids didn't have this when they were little.
I asked Shannon why she wanted it now. They're
gonna outgrow it soon. Oh, you don't really outgrow
a treehouse. Not if you're lucky. Yeah, you're
right. This will be their hideout as teenagers.
Bet I'll catch Samantha up here with some boy
with a guitar someday. Mm -hmm. Could happen.
It's a pretty solid makeout spot. Oh, totally.
I would have 100 % made out up here. Really?
You would? Not now. I mean, if I were 16 and
there was less adult supervision and there was
a boy with a guitar. I'm going to stop talking.
It's fine. I would have made out here too. Listen,
Claire, today was great. I feel like Dom and
I are finally clicking again. It's really hard
being in different cities, especially now. I
bet. And that was probably the most fun I've
had in a long time. It was just nice, you know,
kind of doing the family thing again. Same. I
mean, I'm exhausted, but somehow more energized
than I felt in weeks. Well, you know what they
say. Laughter feeds the soul. Look at you. Dropping
wisdom again. I don't know. I might be full of
crap. Well, I work in advertising. I'm fluent
in crap. Listen, I'm sorry if I was harsh before.
You know, about ad people. You mean when you
said I was the problem? Yikes. Did I? Wow, I'm
fun. It's okay. I've been called worse. And I
understand why it seems like advertising is all
about money. But it's also about creating, collaborating,
and understanding people. Like, I think about
humans all day. What will make them laugh and
cry, change their minds, whatever. It is art.
There's just a lot of corporate money attached
to it, yeah. Yeah, well, that makes a lot of
sense. I'm sorry I was a jerk. I had some assumptions,
and that's on me. Thanks. I don't think you're
a jerk. I think you're kind of fascinating, actually.
Multifaceted. Wow. Multifaceted, huh? Okay. Um,
listen, Claire. I'm just gonna... I'm just gonna
say it. I like you. And I would like to ask you
out sometime. But not right now. Not while Dom
is staying with me. Oh. Okay. I missed too much
when she was younger. I'm not missing this, so
I'm in full -on dad mode right now. That's totally
understandable. But, uh, you know, should I ask
you out at some point in the future? Well, yes.
Okay. Okay. It's a date, then. Well, eventually.
Right. Right. But, um... Until then? Until then.
Oh, crap! Kids! Yeah, pretty solid make -out
treehouse, I'd say. Dangerously so. Okay, let's
go check on the kids. Yeah, let's. Hello? Brian,
guess who I met? Jake effing Fisher. That's what
I'm calling him now. Full name, no notes. Wow,
big moment. Do I need to be worried? He came
to my hotel room to tell me how much he loves
my audiobooks. Of course he did. You're amazing.
Hot famous men are just realizing what I already
know. He's a fan, Brian, of me. What timeline
is this? Okay, what was he like? And please say
awkward and shorter than he looks on camera.
Nope. Polite. Disarmingly gorgeous. Told me to
call him Jake. And I was like, sir, your left
pec is Jake. Your entire existence, Jake effing
Fisher. I'm going to assume I'm still your number
one objectified man. Obviously. But only one
of you just made my voice go viral. Wait. What?
The TikTok. Jake posted a clip for my reading,
and then some music people turned it into a remix,
and that's going viral now too. Okay, okay. Let
me get this straight. Jake effing Fisher attends
your session. Yes. Posts a TikTok with your voice.
Yes. That goes viral. Correct. Then it gets remixed.
Yep. And then that goes viral? We are very online,
babe. We are also very old. Incredibly. Yeah,
oh, hold on. I got another call coming in. Might
be your new boyfriend. You should take it. Oh,
but I want to hear about your conference. Take
the call. I'll still be here, disassociating
after dealing with people all day. Okay, okay,
hold on. Hello? Yes, this is Shannon. You're
kidding! The Today Show? Yes! Yes, I can be there!
That's right, folks. Jake effing Fisher. I met
him. And, spoiler alert, we were invited to go
on the Today Show together. What is my life?
They wanted to do a feature on us and the dumb
viral TikTok song. I had somehow become an internet
sensation despite having no knowledge of TikTok.
But now I can't get that you smell like danger
and strawberries out of my head. Meanwhile, I
had zero idea what was happening back home. I
was so consumed with the Jake Fisher drama that
every time I talked to Claire, I forgot to ask
how things were going. Were the kids alive? Had
they eaten any vegetables? Or did they survive
on pizza and vibes? Had Claire and Tony reached
for the same zucchini at the farmer's market
and somehow made it weirdly sensual? No clue.
Some kind of all -knowing narrator I am when
I wasn't even sure if the kids survived Six Flags,
much less if any sparks started flying between
Tony and Claire. My carefully constructed rom
-com plot was completely out of my hands. Terrifying.
And honestly, kind of thrilling. And even if
I was on it, nothing could have prepared me for
what was about to come next. The rom -com formula
was created, directed, produced, and written
by Susan Cooper. Co -produced by Micah Caldwell
and co -written by Micah Caldwell, Rozzy Shadmery,
and Scythe Sullyperm. Co -starring Susan Cooper
as Shannon, Micah Caldwell as Claire, and Matt
Fogarty as Tony. Joined in this episode by an
ensemble cast that includes Francisco Almenara
as Brian, Alexis Campbell as Dominique, Matilda
Cooper as Samantha, Oliver Clearfield as Jonathan,
Tim Morgan as Jake Fisher, Renee Payne as ride
operator, and Tom Antonellis as go -kart ride
attendant. Series edited by Doug Lehman with
post -production provided by Rosebank Picture
& Sound. If this episode of the Rom -Com Formula
swept you off your feet, please like and subscribe,
leave us a review, share with your favorite hopeless
romantic, and follow us on Instagram at romcomformula
for bonus content. I am Diana Durand. Thanks
for listening.