WEBVTT 00:00:00.520 --> 00:00:03.359 I had this big romantic fiction conference coming 00:00:03.359 --> 00:00:07.240 up and I was so excited. Being an audiobook narrator, 00:00:07.599 --> 00:00:09.880 you don't get to interact directly with people 00:00:09.880 --> 00:00:12.820 that often. You're mostly just spending hours 00:00:12.820 --> 00:00:15.339 and hours in a tiny padded room by yourself. 00:00:15.720 --> 00:00:18.739 But at this conference, I get to spend face -to 00:00:18.739 --> 00:00:21.359 -face time with authors and colleagues who I 00:00:21.359 --> 00:00:25.320 love and admire and get fawned over by fellow 00:00:25.320 --> 00:00:28.239 book nerds. Sometimes they even want me to record 00:00:28.239 --> 00:00:30.820 my version of their book boyfriend saying, good 00:00:30.820 --> 00:00:34.700 girl, in their voice memos. I know. I'm low -key 00:00:34.700 --> 00:00:37.640 famous in this tiny subgenre of humanity, and 00:00:37.640 --> 00:00:41.640 it's crazy to me every time. But here's the thing. 00:00:41.859 --> 00:00:44.179 The conference organizers had asked me to do 00:00:44.179 --> 00:00:47.579 a live reading of some fairly spicy scenes. I 00:00:47.579 --> 00:00:49.659 was so not used to performing in front of an 00:00:49.659 --> 00:00:52.689 audience. Believe it or not, I was so busy prepping 00:00:52.689 --> 00:00:55.350 for the conference and trying not to panic about 00:00:55.350 --> 00:00:58.189 reading smut aloud to a thousand strangers that 00:00:58.189 --> 00:01:00.450 I got distracted from my meddlesome matchmaking. 00:01:01.390 --> 00:01:03.869 I knew Claire was capable of keeping the kids 00:01:03.869 --> 00:01:06.489 entertained, cared for, and, you know, getting 00:01:06.489 --> 00:01:09.109 them to school while Brian and I were gone. I 00:01:09.109 --> 00:01:11.530 wasn't worried about that. What kept me up at 00:01:11.530 --> 00:01:14.030 night was abandoning the burgeoning romance between 00:01:14.030 --> 00:01:17.230 Claire and Tony. But I had to trust that Brian 00:01:17.230 --> 00:01:19.849 and I had laid the foundation for some adorably 00:01:19.849 --> 00:01:22.390 awkward Tony and Claire bonding moments with 00:01:22.390 --> 00:01:25.290 our brilliant Camp Claire scheme. Thankfully, 00:01:25.510 --> 00:01:32.290 the universe was on our side. Morning, Claire. 00:01:32.489 --> 00:01:36.750 How's your foot? This boot is dumb. It's fine. 00:01:36.810 --> 00:01:38.920 Whatever. I only have to wear it for a few more 00:01:38.920 --> 00:01:41.620 days. Okay, good. Because I'm scrambling this 00:01:41.620 --> 00:01:43.739 morning. I gotta catch my flight, and I'm not 00:01:43.739 --> 00:01:46.780 finished packing. Kids, time to go! Here, you 00:01:46.780 --> 00:01:48.780 finish packing, and I'll get the kids to the 00:01:48.780 --> 00:01:53.579 bus stop. I got this. Don't worry. Okay, guys, 00:01:53.819 --> 00:01:55.879 give me a big hug. Y 'all be good for Claire, 00:01:56.040 --> 00:01:57.760 and I'll call you to see how your day went, okay? 00:01:58.500 --> 00:02:01.969 Love you guys. Bye, Mommy. We'll miss you. Okay, 00:02:02.010 --> 00:02:04.310 so my first responsibility as camp director is 00:02:04.310 --> 00:02:06.930 to get you to the school bus on time. Let's go, 00:02:07.090 --> 00:02:09.789 people. Oh, man. Can you play video games when 00:02:09.789 --> 00:02:13.090 we get home from school? No! If you don't tell, 00:02:13.250 --> 00:02:21.509 I won't. Camp Claire is gonna be lit! Man, it's 00:02:21.509 --> 00:02:24.710 so dark out here. Does it freak you guys out 00:02:24.710 --> 00:02:27.889 to be out here so early? It does. Can I please 00:02:27.889 --> 00:02:31.150 stay home with you, Aunt Claire? Nice try, kid. 00:02:31.310 --> 00:02:35.289 Hey, look, a loose dog. Um, that's not a dog. 00:02:35.370 --> 00:02:39.729 That's a coyote. Oh, no. See, it is scary. What 00:02:39.729 --> 00:02:43.310 do I do? What do I do? Shh, shh. Um, just keep 00:02:43.310 --> 00:02:51.469 still. Keep still. Hey, hey, hey. You guys, uh, 00:02:51.469 --> 00:02:55.789 you guys okay? Holy shit, Tony. Aunt Claire, 00:02:56.069 --> 00:03:01.280 Mom said no curse words. I was just out for a 00:03:01.280 --> 00:03:03.539 run. I saw the coyote heading this way, so I 00:03:03.539 --> 00:03:05.439 was chasing it off for you guys. We thought you 00:03:05.439 --> 00:03:08.120 were a coyote -wielding axe murderer. Oh, thank 00:03:08.120 --> 00:03:14.139 God. Ah, the bus. Worse than a coyote. Okay, 00:03:14.199 --> 00:03:16.879 guys, everything is fine. Have a great day at 00:03:16.879 --> 00:03:23.180 school. Bye. Hey, sorry, I didn't mean to scare 00:03:23.180 --> 00:03:25.099 y 'all. No, no, we were scared of the coyote, 00:03:25.159 --> 00:03:26.979 and then you just came out of nowhere in the 00:03:26.979 --> 00:03:29.960 dark. Fair, fair, but... That coyote was more 00:03:29.960 --> 00:03:32.120 scared of you than you were of him. Unless you're 00:03:32.120 --> 00:03:33.960 a squirrel or a rabbit, you got nothing to worry 00:03:33.960 --> 00:03:36.419 about. But do I need to, like, alert animal control 00:03:36.419 --> 00:03:38.860 or something? Is there an emergency line? No, 00:03:38.860 --> 00:03:41.300 no, no, no. We see coyotes around here all the 00:03:41.300 --> 00:03:44.080 time. It's no big deal. It's fine. Oh, okay. 00:03:45.080 --> 00:03:48.919 You okay? Yeah, I guess so. You know, honestly, 00:03:49.020 --> 00:03:51.580 just a little camp director imposter syndrome. 00:03:52.840 --> 00:03:54.719 I'm not sure I'm equipped to keep these kids 00:03:54.719 --> 00:03:57.099 alive for a week. Oh, come on. You've got this. 00:03:57.340 --> 00:03:59.689 The kids will have a blast. Come on, I'll walk 00:03:59.689 --> 00:04:03.789 with you back to the house. Thanks. So, you're 00:04:03.789 --> 00:04:07.229 a runner? You don't look like a runner. Oh? What 00:04:07.229 --> 00:04:12.110 do I look like? Oh, uh, a lumberjack? I run in 00:04:12.110 --> 00:04:14.490 the morning sometimes. I don't do marathons or 00:04:14.490 --> 00:04:16.810 anything like that. Oh, no judgment here. Unless 00:04:16.810 --> 00:04:19.250 you tell me you're a crossfitter. You're not 00:04:19.250 --> 00:04:22.089 a crossfitter, are you? No, I don't do crossfit. 00:04:22.170 --> 00:04:24.069 I tried it once and quickly learned the cult 00:04:24.069 --> 00:04:27.189 lifestyle and caveman diet were not for me. Right. 00:04:27.720 --> 00:04:30.319 Ask Shannon. I can't subscribe to any diet that 00:04:30.319 --> 00:04:32.860 doesn't allow queso. How did paleolithic people 00:04:32.860 --> 00:04:35.959 survive without processed cheese? So you can't 00:04:35.959 --> 00:04:39.000 live without queso? No, I get it. Crossfitters 00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:41.680 can be a tad insufferable. But at least they're 00:04:41.680 --> 00:04:43.300 self -aware enough to have a healthy level of 00:04:43.300 --> 00:04:46.399 shame about it. True. I've never met a humbly 00:04:46.399 --> 00:04:49.480 self -aware runner, though. Hey, I told you I'm 00:04:49.480 --> 00:04:51.639 no marathoner. The running's mostly for my head. 00:04:51.839 --> 00:04:55.639 Yeah, the queso's for my head, too. Well, we're 00:04:55.639 --> 00:04:57.759 here. I gotta go help Shannon finish packing. 00:04:57.980 --> 00:05:00.519 Okay. Well, you know where to find me if you 00:05:00.519 --> 00:05:08.720 need me. Okay, Claire. All the kids' doctor's 00:05:08.720 --> 00:05:10.600 numbers are on the fridge. Breakfast needs to 00:05:10.600 --> 00:05:13.319 be real food. Protein, not just cereal. Two snacks 00:05:13.319 --> 00:05:16.720 per backpack. Water bottles filled. Lunch is 00:05:16.720 --> 00:05:18.759 at school, so you're only on the hook for breakfast 00:05:18.759 --> 00:05:21.160 and dinner. I made a meal list. Everything's 00:05:21.160 --> 00:05:24.850 in the kitchen. Bedtime is eight sharp. Oh, and 00:05:24.850 --> 00:05:27.610 Samantha has a spelling test on Friday, so quiz 00:05:27.610 --> 00:05:30.490 her or she'll fake a fever. Shannon, I know. 00:05:30.569 --> 00:05:33.029 You sent me the spreadsheet. You labeled the 00:05:33.029 --> 00:05:36.449 tabs. It was alphabetized and color -coded. Trust 00:05:36.449 --> 00:05:40.370 me, I got this. Okay, I know. It's going to be 00:05:40.370 --> 00:05:42.670 great. You're going to be great. Wow, careful. 00:05:42.850 --> 00:05:45.670 That confidence seems contagious. I'm trying, 00:05:45.889 --> 00:05:49.129 okay? I'm just really nervous about this conference. 00:05:49.550 --> 00:05:51.930 Really? You've been buzzing about this thing 00:05:51.930 --> 00:05:54.420 for days. I just forgot that I'll be doing a 00:05:54.420 --> 00:05:57.360 live reading of a sex scene, like, in front of 00:05:57.360 --> 00:06:00.779 actual humans with eyes and facial expressions, 00:06:00.860 --> 00:06:04.040 and picturing them naked would be weird in this 00:06:04.040 --> 00:06:07.620 case. Wait, you? Nervous about sexy stuff? Shannon, 00:06:07.639 --> 00:06:09.839 you literally narrate books where fairies fall 00:06:09.839 --> 00:06:12.819 in love with warlocks inside of volcanoes. You 00:06:12.819 --> 00:06:14.939 made a book called Tensicles and Tees Sound Romantic. 00:06:14.959 --> 00:06:17.199 I've heard you moan your way through the entire 00:06:17.199 --> 00:06:21.019 Mysterious Romadors series. Well, sure. But that's 00:06:21.019 --> 00:06:23.680 when no one is looking at me. I'm all alone in 00:06:23.680 --> 00:06:26.279 a recording booth, getting into character, saying 00:06:26.279 --> 00:06:30.199 filthy things to myself. It's different. This 00:06:30.199 --> 00:06:34.019 is live. People will be making eye contact, possibly 00:06:34.019 --> 00:06:38.220 nodding or gagging. Or totally fangirling over 00:06:38.220 --> 00:06:40.519 you. Come on, Shannon, you'll crush it. You're 00:06:40.519 --> 00:06:43.519 unflappable. I've literally never seen you embarrassed. 00:06:44.259 --> 00:06:47.360 Lies. You saw me answer the door in headgear 00:06:47.360 --> 00:06:49.699 and Goosebumps pajamas when Andrew Smith came 00:06:49.699 --> 00:06:53.319 by in ninth grade. That was tragic, but also 00:06:53.319 --> 00:06:57.620 iconic. Oh, is that your Uber? Damn it! He's 00:06:57.620 --> 00:07:01.120 early. Or, I'm late. Go stall him while I drag 00:07:01.120 --> 00:07:09.040 my other bag downstairs. Joel, hey! Claire, I 00:07:09.040 --> 00:07:13.000 need you. Okay, what's up? This is all under 00:07:13.000 --> 00:07:15.220 NDA, so legally I'm not telling you this, but 00:07:15.220 --> 00:07:17.879 we're pitching a campaign for a candy bar. Rhymes 00:07:17.879 --> 00:07:20.160 with schlickers, and I just need you to really 00:07:20.160 --> 00:07:23.540 - Schlickers? Really? That's the word you chose 00:07:23.540 --> 00:07:26.899 to rhyme with? Snickers? Yes! Moving on. We're 00:07:26.899 --> 00:07:31.300 pitching it with Jake Fisher. Wait. The Jake 00:07:31.300 --> 00:07:34.060 Fisher? Yes. I die. I'm dead. You're talking 00:07:34.060 --> 00:07:36.920 to a ghost. Oh my gosh. Jake Fisher? Like, the 00:07:36.920 --> 00:07:40.560 sexiest man alive? Jake Fisher? Like - Six foot 00:07:40.560 --> 00:07:45.579 four, eight pack abs, gay icon, universal thirst 00:07:45.579 --> 00:07:49.220 trap, Jake Fisher? Yeah, my future ex -husband, 00:07:49.279 --> 00:07:51.860 that's the one. Joel, that man has never touched 00:07:51.860 --> 00:07:55.019 a Snickers bar in his life. His cheat day indulgence 00:07:55.019 --> 00:07:58.100 is a baby carrot. I know, that's why we need 00:07:58.100 --> 00:08:01.439 you. So what do you want from me? We need you 00:08:01.439 --> 00:08:03.259 to write a script that makes audiences believe 00:08:03.259 --> 00:08:05.920 that Jake Fisher would eat a Snickers bar. And 00:08:05.920 --> 00:08:08.199 it's going to have to be funny and sexy because 00:08:08.199 --> 00:08:11.879 it's Jake effing Fisher. Okay, that actually 00:08:11.879 --> 00:08:15.680 sounds kind of amazing. But can't you write it? 00:08:15.879 --> 00:08:19.100 I'm too close. Emotionally compromised. My love 00:08:19.100 --> 00:08:21.819 burns too bright. I watched a slow -mo thirst 00:08:21.819 --> 00:08:24.339 trap video this morning and blacked out. And 00:08:24.339 --> 00:08:25.839 then I gain consciousness and watch it again 00:08:25.839 --> 00:08:29.720 five times. You poor thing. So brave of you to 00:08:29.720 --> 00:08:33.580 keep going. Claire, it's not a joke. Can you 00:08:33.580 --> 00:08:35.039 come to the creative briefing at two o 'clock? 00:08:35.639 --> 00:08:39.720 Uh, can't do two. I have to be back by three 00:08:39.720 --> 00:08:41.460 to meet my niece and nephew at the bus stop. 00:08:41.980 --> 00:08:44.759 I leave you alone for a week and you're a mother 00:08:44.759 --> 00:08:47.779 now? Gross. Are you available at all to work 00:08:47.779 --> 00:08:50.740 on the pitch? Yes, just because I'm not chained 00:08:50.740 --> 00:08:53.100 to a desk 80 hours a week doesn't mean I've retired. 00:08:53.539 --> 00:08:56.039 In advertising, not working 80 hours a week is 00:08:56.039 --> 00:08:58.360 considered quiet quitting. Yeah, well, I'm a 00:08:58.360 --> 00:09:01.820 freelancer now. I set my own hours. No more set, 00:09:02.000 --> 00:09:04.580 sell, or desk lunches. Zoom meetings from the 00:09:04.580 --> 00:09:06.940 bathroom are a thing of my past. I live free, 00:09:07.159 --> 00:09:10.159 Joel. So, can you zoom in, ideally not from the 00:09:10.159 --> 00:09:12.039 bathroom, at 2 o 'clock and send scripts tonight? 00:09:12.379 --> 00:09:19.779 I gotcha, bestie. It's Friday F - Nope. It's 00:09:19.779 --> 00:09:27.840 Fry -yay. Fry -yay. It's Friday Fun Day! Both 00:09:27.840 --> 00:09:30.480 of you, zip it. The bus is coming, and I'm running 00:09:30.480 --> 00:09:33.600 on zero sleep and a questionable amount of coffee. 00:09:34.240 --> 00:09:36.879 Also, are you sure Pajama Day is a real thing 00:09:36.879 --> 00:09:40.080 at school? Hey, look, it's Tony the Coyote Hunter! 00:09:40.539 --> 00:09:45.580 Hey, guys. Morning. Hey, I would never hunt coyotes. 00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:48.879 Is it pajama day at school? Told you, Aunt Claire. 00:09:49.519 --> 00:09:52.419 Oh, thank God. I definitely didn't want to have 00:09:52.419 --> 00:09:55.039 their teachers calling Shannon about this. Bye, 00:09:55.059 --> 00:09:58.480 Aunt Claire. Bye, Tony. Bye, guys. Be nice. Be 00:09:58.480 --> 00:10:01.840 weird. Don't start any cults. TGIF. Have a great 00:10:01.840 --> 00:10:06.419 day, kids. What's TGIF? Tony, it's Friday Funday. 00:10:06.440 --> 00:10:11.419 We don't know what TGIF is. Oh my god, I have 00:10:11.419 --> 00:10:14.159 no idea what's real anymore. I worked all night, 00:10:14.340 --> 00:10:17.759 and I might be hallucinating. You didn't have 00:10:17.759 --> 00:10:20.179 to come check on us, by the way. Oh, I know. 00:10:20.259 --> 00:10:22.559 I was just squeezing in a quick run before Dominique 00:10:22.559 --> 00:10:26.279 wakes up. Oh, right. How's she doing? She's... 00:10:26.279 --> 00:10:29.480 she's amazing, in that she's 13 and too cool 00:10:29.480 --> 00:10:32.379 for me kind of way. Hey, do you think she would 00:10:32.379 --> 00:10:33.820 want to hang out with the kids after school? 00:10:33.960 --> 00:10:37.080 Maybe play video games? Yeah, I think she'd be 00:10:37.080 --> 00:10:39.830 into that. Honestly, I'd rather game with humans 00:10:39.830 --> 00:10:42.649 than fall into the TikTok void again. Seriously, 00:10:42.870 --> 00:10:45.230 how many Get Ready With Me videos can one preteen 00:10:45.230 --> 00:10:47.750 watch? Well, I'm already leaning into screen 00:10:47.750 --> 00:10:49.509 time to keep Samantha and Jonathan occupied. 00:10:49.990 --> 00:10:52.970 I don't know how working parents survive. I'm 00:10:52.970 --> 00:10:56.570 wrecked. Yeah? Camp Claire hitting a few snags? 00:10:56.769 --> 00:10:59.769 Well, Camp Claire is powered by caffeine, denial, 00:11:00.029 --> 00:11:03.470 and leftover chicken nuggets. But I promised 00:11:03.470 --> 00:11:06.539 them I'd plan something fun this weekend. After 00:11:06.539 --> 00:11:08.480 I finish my work. And then, you know, maybe nap 00:11:08.480 --> 00:11:10.379 for a week. Hey, nothing wrong with leftover 00:11:10.379 --> 00:11:12.720 chicken nuggets. So what's on the agenda this 00:11:12.720 --> 00:11:16.000 weekend? Oh, you know, um, archery? Canoeing? 00:11:16.039 --> 00:11:19.419 A kumbaya circle? Possibly a walk through the 00:11:19.419 --> 00:11:22.200 haunted woods? Um, yeah, I can't tell if you're 00:11:22.200 --> 00:11:25.700 serious. Not even a little. My entire summer 00:11:25.700 --> 00:11:27.779 camp knowledge is based on movies. Oh, okay. 00:11:27.899 --> 00:11:31.139 So statistically, someone's either finding their 00:11:31.139 --> 00:11:33.299 long -lost identical twin and reuniting their 00:11:33.299 --> 00:11:35.870 beautiful parents. Or getting chased by an inbred 00:11:35.870 --> 00:11:38.289 redneck with a chainsaw. Yeah, I really didn't 00:11:38.289 --> 00:11:41.289 think this through, did I? Sure. Unless you're 00:11:41.289 --> 00:11:44.809 the chainsaw murderer. Oh, no. Clearly the lumberjack 00:11:44.809 --> 00:11:48.350 is the murderer. He wields an axe. You got me. 00:11:48.529 --> 00:11:51.769 Busted. Oh, sorry. Thanks for the walk. I've 00:11:51.769 --> 00:11:54.929 got to get back to these scripts. Deadlines don't 00:11:54.929 --> 00:11:58.470 care about Camp Claire. Yeah, of course. Well, 00:11:58.710 --> 00:12:02.230 good luck. And Claire, stay clear of any rednecks 00:12:02.230 --> 00:12:13.210 with chainsaws. Yo. Hey, how's it going over 00:12:13.210 --> 00:12:17.110 there? Are the kids alive? Alive and fed. The 00:12:17.110 --> 00:12:21.009 bar is low and I am crushing it. Excellent. Homework 00:12:21.009 --> 00:12:26.129 done? Bus boarded? Yes and yes. Claire, you sound 00:12:26.129 --> 00:12:30.370 exhausted. I am exhausted. Joel pulled me into 00:12:30.370 --> 00:12:32.769 a freelance gig. Concepts are due today and I'm 00:12:32.769 --> 00:12:36.830 still chasing one more halfway decent idea. Oof. 00:12:37.440 --> 00:12:40.200 Well, this conference is amazing, by the way. 00:12:40.200 --> 00:12:43.360 Thanks for asking. You'll never guess who showed 00:12:43.360 --> 00:12:48.179 up at my live reading. Sorry. Who? Jake freaking 00:12:48.179 --> 00:12:53.159 Fisher. Shut up. I will not shut up. Holy crap. 00:12:53.340 --> 00:12:55.399 He's attached to the campaign I'm working on. 00:12:55.600 --> 00:12:58.299 Every script has to feature him being funny and 00:12:58.299 --> 00:13:00.899 sexy while eating a candy bar. This is fate. 00:13:01.100 --> 00:13:04.019 He's everyone's internet boyfriend. He's a literal 00:13:04.019 --> 00:13:07.450 walking snack. Hmm, that's actually a great line. 00:13:07.690 --> 00:13:09.789 Wait, what is he even doing at your conference? 00:13:10.490 --> 00:13:13.370 Well, apparently he's a huge Midnight Darkness 00:13:13.370 --> 00:13:16.629 fan. Word is, the author is in talks with studios 00:13:16.629 --> 00:13:19.289 to write the movie adaptation, and Jake's trying 00:13:19.289 --> 00:13:23.090 to land a lead. As the werepanther? Um, yes, 00:13:23.330 --> 00:13:26.350 I'd buy that. Dude is the definition of a sexy 00:13:26.350 --> 00:13:30.250 beast. Wait, do you think he listened to the 00:13:30.250 --> 00:13:33.990 audiobook? Shannon, obviously. He came to your 00:13:33.990 --> 00:13:36.879 reading. You whispered seductive werepanther 00:13:36.879 --> 00:13:40.379 dialogue straight into Jake Fisher's ears. No 00:13:40.379 --> 00:13:44.919 way. Yes, way. You probably even turned him on 00:13:44.919 --> 00:13:48.120 with your voice. Congratulations. Oh, my God. 00:13:48.460 --> 00:13:52.379 Do you know how old he is? Yep, I'm on his IMDb 00:13:52.379 --> 00:13:56.000 page. 21. Barely made the cutoff to buy you a 00:13:56.000 --> 00:13:58.580 drink. Wow, a few days away from the kids, and 00:13:58.580 --> 00:14:01.340 you're already turning into a cougar. Shut your 00:14:01.340 --> 00:14:03.740 whore mouth, Claire. I'm just the messenger. 00:14:04.120 --> 00:14:07.019 I was already a full -grown adult when he was 00:14:07.019 --> 00:14:10.379 born. What a ladyboner killer. Do you think he 00:14:10.379 --> 00:14:14.419 would even eat a Snickers? Wait, what? Oh, sorry, 00:14:14.539 --> 00:14:16.919 nothing. It's NDA. I meant to say schlickers. 00:14:17.399 --> 00:14:19.980 Oh, you're riding a Snickers spot with Jake Fisher. 00:14:20.509 --> 00:14:23.769 You're always terrible at secrets. Okay, since 00:14:23.769 --> 00:14:25.710 you guessed correctly, here's what I'm struggling 00:14:25.710 --> 00:14:28.750 with. How would someone who looks like Jake Fisher 00:14:28.750 --> 00:14:32.149 believably eat candy with apps like that? Well, 00:14:32.289 --> 00:14:34.450 if he really is a werepanther, he'd have a high 00:14:34.450 --> 00:14:36.789 metabolism. They probably do a lot of cardio. 00:14:37.049 --> 00:14:39.769 Yeah, but cats can't eat chocolate, right? No, 00:14:39.789 --> 00:14:42.590 that's dogs. If he was a werewolf, a Snickers 00:14:42.590 --> 00:14:45.029 might kill him. Do you even listen to any of 00:14:45.029 --> 00:14:48.049 my audiobooks? Anyway, I gotta run. There's a 00:14:48.049 --> 00:14:51.200 panel on vampire lore and consent. Your job is 00:14:51.200 --> 00:14:54.379 so weird. Tell the kids I love them. Will do. 00:14:54.740 --> 00:15:03.340 Love you. Bye. Snickers. Snickers. Satisfy your 00:15:03.340 --> 00:15:09.700 inner beast. Snack like a snack? Needs work, 00:15:09.820 --> 00:15:17.559 but we're getting somewhere. Samantha! Jonathan! 00:15:17.700 --> 00:15:21.149 Over here! Aunt Claire, you kind of look funny 00:15:21.149 --> 00:15:23.669 because you're trying to run in that boot. Jonathan, 00:15:23.830 --> 00:15:28.789 watch this. Who am I? Ha ha, hilarious, guys. 00:15:29.509 --> 00:15:32.049 Samantha, stop hopping up and down on one foot. 00:15:32.149 --> 00:15:35.429 I have to move fast so Camp Claire can continue. 00:15:36.009 --> 00:15:38.889 Your parents make this look way too easy. They 00:15:38.889 --> 00:15:43.289 do let us play video games. And they let us get 00:15:43.289 --> 00:15:47.009 on TikTok. You guys don't even have phones. Yeah, 00:15:47.029 --> 00:15:51.549 but you do. And Mom says Sherry's caring. Hey, 00:15:51.629 --> 00:15:54.529 Tony. Hey, guys. Remember my daughter, Dominique? 00:15:54.649 --> 00:15:58.909 Hey. Hey. Hey, Dominique. Your dad's been hyping 00:15:58.909 --> 00:16:01.250 your visit like it's the Heiress Tour. Want to 00:16:01.250 --> 00:16:04.730 play Mario Kart with us? Uh, we were going to 00:16:04.730 --> 00:16:09.169 take a walk. Dad, come on, Tony. I want to play 00:16:09.169 --> 00:16:14.460 Mario. All right. Okay, go ahead. Come on. We've 00:16:14.460 --> 00:16:16.899 got snacks, screen time, and low expectations. 00:16:17.259 --> 00:16:26.080 It's paradise. Mmm, snacks. I'm sold. Wait! Is 00:16:26.080 --> 00:16:31.399 that a VR headset? Ooh, sleigh! Yeah, I got it 00:16:31.399 --> 00:16:34.100 for my birthday. Can I try it? My mom's saying 00:16:34.100 --> 00:16:37.820 VR melts your brain. Your moms are correct. What's 00:16:37.820 --> 00:16:39.879 so bad about VR? Because instead of touching 00:16:39.879 --> 00:16:43.009 actual grass, They're pretending to touch pixelated 00:16:43.009 --> 00:16:46.350 grass. Technology is numbing our souls. Kids 00:16:46.350 --> 00:16:50.409 need dirt. Sun. Maybe a stick. Even watching 00:16:50.409 --> 00:16:53.230 a squirrel is better at this point. Or maybe 00:16:53.230 --> 00:16:55.070 we embrace the fact that the future is screens 00:16:55.070 --> 00:16:57.870 and make peace with it. No, that's how the robots 00:16:57.870 --> 00:17:09.869 win. Oh my god! This coaster is unhinged! Just 00:17:09.869 --> 00:17:13.390 wait. It gets wild at the next part. What are 00:17:13.390 --> 00:17:16.750 they doing? It's a virtual roller coaster. Feels 00:17:16.750 --> 00:17:20.210 real. It's fun, I swear. Except the nausea part 00:17:20.210 --> 00:17:24.869 when you overdo it. I mean, why not ride an actual 00:17:24.869 --> 00:17:27.329 roller coaster? Feel the whiplash. Smell the 00:17:27.329 --> 00:17:30.470 funnel cake. Get sunburned. This? This right 00:17:30.470 --> 00:17:32.849 here is digital chaos. What kind of camp is this? 00:17:33.109 --> 00:17:35.210 Well, we're going outside this weekend. It's 00:17:35.210 --> 00:17:38.079 about balance. A little screen time now, a little 00:17:38.079 --> 00:17:41.019 grass touching later. Hey, Dominique, we used 00:17:41.019 --> 00:17:43.079 to have good old -fashioned analog fun. You remember 00:17:43.079 --> 00:17:47.299 when we used to make clover crowns? Nobody knows 00:17:47.299 --> 00:17:51.240 what analog means, Dad. But, yeah, I forgot about 00:17:51.240 --> 00:17:54.180 that. Dominique, want to come back tomorrow and 00:17:54.180 --> 00:17:58.480 play? Depends on what Dad's planning. I was thinking 00:17:58.480 --> 00:18:01.619 we'd do something touristy downtown. I don't 00:18:01.619 --> 00:18:03.559 know, maybe the Center for Civil and Human Rights? 00:18:03.920 --> 00:18:07.950 Ew! Kog is downtown. Could we please go there 00:18:07.950 --> 00:18:12.390 instead? What's at the civil rights place? Actually, 00:18:12.390 --> 00:18:14.769 they just opened a new exhibit on black voices 00:18:14.769 --> 00:18:17.349 and advertising. I might have to steal this idea 00:18:17.349 --> 00:18:19.490 as a field trip for Camp Claire. You all should 00:18:19.490 --> 00:18:22.869 just come with us. Ugh, museums are just so boring. 00:18:23.329 --> 00:18:27.210 Museums are not boring. That's it. It's happening. 00:18:27.349 --> 00:18:36.359 Camp Claire field trip. Locked it. Oh, man. You 00:18:36.359 --> 00:18:38.940 know, I love riding MARTA. It reminds me that 00:18:38.940 --> 00:18:41.599 Atlanta is a real city. And this time, the train 00:18:41.599 --> 00:18:44.380 actually goes somewhere useful. Why are we learning 00:18:44.380 --> 00:18:48.319 stuff on a Saturday? Can't we just go to the 00:18:48.319 --> 00:18:50.539 Coke Museum and drink soda until we get a sugar 00:18:50.539 --> 00:18:56.660 rush and pass out? Uh, why is there a man dressed 00:18:56.660 --> 00:19:00.119 as a fox on this train? Uh, maybe it's a mascot? 00:19:00.559 --> 00:19:03.519 There's a bunny, too. Why would a bunny be a 00:19:03.519 --> 00:19:07.799 team mascot? Is this a sports thing? Oh, God, 00:19:07.880 --> 00:19:11.400 please don't be a flash mob. There's more of 00:19:11.400 --> 00:19:15.339 them at this stop. That one's got antlers. Oh, 00:19:15.420 --> 00:19:19.420 Atlanta is so weird, bruh. What in the world 00:19:19.420 --> 00:19:23.299 could be going on? Oh, gosh, I just remembered. 00:19:23.480 --> 00:19:26.640 It's a furry convention. I saw something about 00:19:26.640 --> 00:19:30.619 this online. What's a furry? Furry? It's people 00:19:30.619 --> 00:19:35.099 who dress up as animals for fun and... Uh, community. 00:19:35.400 --> 00:19:38.539 Huh, look at that. Learning and bonding. This 00:19:38.539 --> 00:19:40.539 is the most educational Saturday of all time. 00:19:40.859 --> 00:19:43.700 Okay, well, hey, kids, kids, stay in your seats, 00:19:43.759 --> 00:19:46.099 okay? It's getting a little crowded. Ow, oh, 00:19:46.220 --> 00:19:50.160 ow, excuse me. That's my gut foot. Oh, oh, sorry, 00:19:50.359 --> 00:19:54.599 ma 'am. Oh, gosh, I can't reach the handrail. 00:19:54.920 --> 00:20:01.779 Well, here, just hang on to me. Well, I did not 00:20:01.779 --> 00:20:03.980 expect to spend my Saturday sandwiched between 00:20:03.980 --> 00:20:07.019 a panda in bondage and an aardvark with a boombox. 00:20:07.700 --> 00:20:11.700 And yet, here we are. Atlanta, where the players 00:20:11.700 --> 00:20:18.180 play. Yitz, you okay? Best train ride ever! Yeah, 00:20:18.519 --> 00:20:20.960 this is definitely not what I meant when I said 00:20:20.960 --> 00:20:25.279 real -life experiences. Okay, this is our stop. 00:20:25.420 --> 00:20:30.650 Everybody squeeze through. Excuse us. Yep, just 00:20:30.650 --> 00:20:33.549 shimmy past the llama in sunglasses. Oh, that 00:20:33.549 --> 00:20:39.490 was insane. I think I have fur in my mouth. Ugh, 00:20:39.529 --> 00:20:42.809 gross. Um, okay, uh, Center for Civil and Human 00:20:42.809 --> 00:20:45.329 Rights, here we come. Dad, you really don't have 00:20:45.329 --> 00:20:57.289 to try this hard to prove you're woke. Hey, uh, 00:20:57.349 --> 00:21:03.369 Dom? You okay? Yeah, I just... I can't stop thinking 00:21:03.369 --> 00:21:07.630 about that lunch counter simulation thing. Yeah, 00:21:07.670 --> 00:21:11.690 it's really heavy. Can you imagine being that 00:21:11.690 --> 00:21:14.150 brave while being physically and verbally attacked 00:21:14.150 --> 00:21:17.769 like that? I think you would have been that brave. 00:21:18.410 --> 00:21:22.009 Uh, I don't know. Thanks, but honestly, it's 00:21:22.009 --> 00:21:24.190 kind of hard to say how you would have reacted 00:21:24.190 --> 00:21:27.170 in a different time and place. Yeah, I don't 00:21:27.170 --> 00:21:28.890 know if I would have been able to just take it. 00:21:29.259 --> 00:21:31.779 I thought it was really scary. Can we go get 00:21:31.779 --> 00:21:34.240 a Coke now? Guys, I don't have another museum 00:21:34.240 --> 00:21:36.880 in me right now. Let's go walk around a bit. 00:21:37.819 --> 00:21:40.640 Yeah, yeah. Some sunshine and fresh air will 00:21:40.640 --> 00:21:45.220 be good to clear our heads. Okay, stay close, 00:21:45.339 --> 00:21:48.220 guys. So that exhibit about the role of soul 00:21:48.220 --> 00:21:50.000 in Motown music in the civil rights movement 00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:53.859 was cool. Yeah, art influences culture. Culture 00:21:53.859 --> 00:21:57.279 influences art. Look at us, getting all philosophical 00:21:57.279 --> 00:22:00.549 and deep. Hey, careful. Keep digging and you 00:22:00.549 --> 00:22:04.829 hit trauma. Sorry. Is this where I learned the 00:22:04.829 --> 00:22:08.410 behind -the -music story? Yeah, yeah, the whole 00:22:08.410 --> 00:22:12.089 bit. Touring non -stop with Nick Charlie, partying 00:22:12.089 --> 00:22:15.049 non -stop, missing my kid's childhood. Not as 00:22:15.049 --> 00:22:17.950 glamorous as it sounds. Yeah, I vaguely remember 00:22:17.950 --> 00:22:22.329 the headlines. Mm -hmm, yeah. Car accident. We'd 00:22:22.329 --> 00:22:25.589 both been drinking. I should have driven. Oh, 00:22:25.630 --> 00:22:29.789 God, Tony. I'm so sorry. Oh, it's okay. Nothing 00:22:29.789 --> 00:22:31.869 like following up a civil rights exhibit with 00:22:31.869 --> 00:22:35.490 a personal tragedy. Yeah, so should we go crash 00:22:35.490 --> 00:22:37.829 the furry convention to, like, even it out? Uh, 00:22:38.009 --> 00:22:40.670 hard pass. But I think Jonathan already joined 00:22:40.670 --> 00:22:42.750 a wolf pack. Oh god, let's not tell Shannon. 00:22:42.970 --> 00:22:45.089 Are you kidding me? She'll be keynote speaker 00:22:45.089 --> 00:22:48.769 next year. From fey to furry. Romanticy for the 00:22:48.769 --> 00:22:51.269 tail -curious. Honestly, I would listen to that. 00:22:51.509 --> 00:22:53.910 Do you think furry romance novels are a thing? 00:22:54.289 --> 00:22:58.059 Oh, definitely. Anyway, so what's next on the 00:22:58.059 --> 00:23:00.960 Camp Claire itinerary? Actually, I got an idea 00:23:00.960 --> 00:23:04.079 yesterday. What if I took the kids to Six Flags 00:23:04.079 --> 00:23:07.180 tomorrow? I could take Dominique with us. Oh, 00:23:07.259 --> 00:23:10.079 now you're talking. VR can't compete with actual 00:23:10.079 --> 00:23:12.920 adrenaline. You know, you're very opinionated 00:23:12.920 --> 00:23:15.619 for a guy who builds tree houses. Oh, don't knock 00:23:15.619 --> 00:23:19.319 the side hustle. I also make art. And you can 00:23:19.319 --> 00:23:22.319 make a decent living that way? Uh, well, I guess 00:23:22.319 --> 00:23:24.420 that's where we differ. I don't really measure 00:23:24.420 --> 00:23:27.710 living by a paycheck. Gosh, sorry. Sometimes 00:23:27.710 --> 00:23:29.990 I hear my parents' words coming out of my mouth 00:23:29.990 --> 00:23:32.829 because it's what I heard growing up. I cringe 00:23:32.829 --> 00:23:34.990 when I hear myself talk like that. I have to 00:23:34.990 --> 00:23:37.809 remind myself, those are their values, not mine. 00:23:39.210 --> 00:23:42.690 Yeah. I actually, I wanted to be an illustrator. 00:23:43.230 --> 00:23:45.529 But my parents pressured me to choose a profession 00:23:45.529 --> 00:23:48.930 that was more stable. Advertising was the closest 00:23:48.930 --> 00:23:50.529 thing I could find to a creative career that 00:23:50.529 --> 00:23:53.029 still felt like I was meeting their expectations. 00:23:53.849 --> 00:23:56.759 And you know what? To this day, they still don't 00:23:56.759 --> 00:23:59.599 get what I actually do for a living. Does it 00:23:59.599 --> 00:24:03.000 matter? I mean, you're a grown -ass woman. Do 00:24:03.000 --> 00:24:06.339 you still need their approval? Wow. Are my deepest 00:24:06.339 --> 00:24:10.799 insecurities really that obvious? Can we change 00:24:10.799 --> 00:24:14.980 the subject now? Yeah. Hey, kids! Kids! Who wants 00:24:14.980 --> 00:24:18.480 to go to Six Flags tomorrow? Yes! Dude, you totally 00:24:18.480 --> 00:24:24.049 stole my thunder. See? Everything's going exactly 00:24:24.049 --> 00:24:27.730 as I had hoped. All I had to do was plug in the 00:24:27.730 --> 00:24:30.430 formula using everyone's favorite rom -com tropes, 00:24:30.430 --> 00:24:33.509 and boom! The magic basically unfolded on its 00:24:33.509 --> 00:24:38.589 own. Step 1. The awkward meet cute. Maybe a fractured 00:24:38.589 --> 00:24:42.289 foot was totally worth it. Step 2. Forced proximity. 00:24:42.710 --> 00:24:47.369 Dirty dishes for the win. Step 3. Light meddling. 00:24:47.529 --> 00:24:51.009 Or, as I prefer to call it, environmental storytelling. 00:24:51.839 --> 00:24:54.140 These two probably have no idea that Camp Claire 00:24:54.140 --> 00:24:57.799 was a setup. And the rest? That was all them. 00:24:58.140 --> 00:25:01.539 Flirty banter, behind -the -music -level vulnerability, 00:25:02.039 --> 00:25:05.200 accidental bonding over a shared hatred of CrossFit, 00:25:05.279 --> 00:25:09.000 and VR -induced nausea. Honestly, it's textbook 00:25:09.000 --> 00:25:12.019 rom -com material. And they were passing with 00:25:12.019 --> 00:25:15.619 flying colors. I didn't make them catch feelings. 00:25:15.720 --> 00:25:19.559 I just set the stage, dimmed the lights, and 00:25:19.559 --> 00:25:22.069 maybe pressed play on the soundtrack. with a 00:25:22.069 --> 00:25:24.430 little help from my henchman. I mean, husband. 00:25:25.309 --> 00:25:27.950 But let's be real. This is the part of the movie 00:25:27.950 --> 00:25:30.109 where everyone watching starts yelling, just 00:25:30.109 --> 00:25:34.029 kiss already. Which means things are about to 00:25:34.029 --> 00:25:38.099 get interesting. The Rom -Com Formula was created, 00:25:38.359 --> 00:25:40.819 directed, produced, and written by Susan Cooper. 00:25:41.039 --> 00:25:43.519 Co -produced by Micah Caldwell and co -written 00:25:43.519 --> 00:25:46.619 by Micah Caldwell, Rozzy Shadmery, and Saithi 00:25:46.619 --> 00:25:49.599 Sullyperm. Co -starring Susan Cooper as Shannon, 00:25:49.740 --> 00:25:52.599 Micah Caldwell as Claire, and Matt Fogarty as 00:25:52.599 --> 00:25:55.380 Tony. Joined in this episode by an ensemble cast 00:25:55.380 --> 00:25:58.200 that includes Katten McArthur as Joel, Alexis 00:25:58.200 --> 00:26:01.079 Campbell as Dominique, Matilda Cooper as Samantha, 00:26:01.380 --> 00:26:04.380 Oliver Clearfield as Jonathan, and Tom Antonellis 00:26:04.380 --> 00:26:07.769 as Furry. Series edited by Doug Lehman with post 00:26:07.769 --> 00:26:09.829 -production provided by Rosebank Picture and 00:26:09.829 --> 00:26:12.470 Sound. If this episode of the Rom -Com Formula 00:26:12.470 --> 00:26:14.910 swept you off your feet, please like and subscribe, 00:26:15.210 --> 00:26:17.670 leave us a review, share with your favorite hopeless 00:26:17.670 --> 00:26:21.029 romantic, and follow us on Instagram at romcomformula 00:26:21.029 --> 00:26:24.750 for bonus content. I am Diana Duran. Thanks for 00:26:24.750 --> 00:26:25.029 listening.