Romantic comedies. They're like reheating a stale
donut in the microwave. Not fancy, not impressive,
but somehow still perfect. Warm, familiar, a
little too sweet, hits the spot every damn time.
I'm Shannon Hooper. I'm an audiobook narrator,
and romance is my specialty. You might have heard
my voice before if you're a fan of romance lit,
rom -coms, romanacy, or whatever book smut blows
your skirt up. Traditional rom -coms are my favorite,
but the sexy fantasies with fairies or dragons
are fun too. The sexy times are with the human
characters, not the dragons. Most of the time.
After narrating dozens of love stories alone
in a padded room, I started to notice a pattern.
There's a formula, a set of glorious tropes.
The awkward meet cute, the forced proximity,
the over -invested friend, the emotional sabotage,
the grand romantic gesture, preferably in public.
Sprinkle in a montage, stir in some sexual tension,
and boom, love. It's like those Hallmark movies.
They're all basically the same story, but every
year Hallmark cranks out another one with a new
set of abs, and people eat it up every time.
We don't watch them for the surprises. We watch
them for the predictability of the formula. The
comforting familiarity of a romance. The squeal
when they first brush hands. And that butterfly
feeling as they kiss before the credits roll.
And I thought, what if real life could follow
that formula too? Lucky for me, I had all the
right ingredients. Starting with my sister Claire.
A classic rom -com lead. She's in advertising,
obviously. The women in rom -coms are always
in marketing, advertising, or publishing. Ambitious,
talented, she's been on all the ad agency people
-to -watch lists, and her work is winning all
the ad agency awards. She works her ass off.
As her big sister, I can see the burnout coming
from a mile away. All work and no time for anything
else, much less romance. But I know Claire. Work
will never actually make her happy. So, I did
what any romance -loving, slightly meddlesome
older sister would do. I set the stage for Claire
to fall in love. I followed the formula. And
friends, it worked. So to recap, these are the
three big campaign ideas we talked about today.
We're confident that we can pull off any of these
concepts within your budget. As you can probably
tell. The third concept is our favorite, but
you can't go wrong with any of these. Yes. Joel
and I are ready to hit the ground running on
this once we have approval. I've got to hand
it to you, Claire and Joel. These campaign ideas
are unexpected and hard -hitting. I wasn't sure
you could pull this off, but I think if we launch
with the third ad campaign, we're going to make
headlines. Well, that's the plan. Well done.
I'll get a signed production estimate to you
by the end of the day. Great. Thanks for being
such great creative partners and trusting in
our work. Thank you. I'll be sending a note telling
Michael how impressed I am with these ideas.
Have a safe flight back to Atlanta, you two.
That went surprisingly well. Shall we get pre
-flight beers to celebrate? Joel, I don't know
how you're so cool about this. The client said
she's going to send a note to our boss, and he
doesn't know that we went rogue yet. We should
call him before she does. Claire, you know and
I know that Michael wanted us to present something
that the client's lawyers would never, ever approve.
Well, Michael is the executive creative director.
He may not work on this account day to day like
we do, but he's our boss. And he gets the first
say on what we present to clients. As he so often
likes to remind us. We can handle him. It's an
ask for forgiveness, not permission sort of situation.
Easy for you to say. You're already a creative
director. And honestly, a dude. As an associate
creative director and a female, I don't have
that kind of freedom. If I'm ever going to get
promoted, I've got to stay on Michael's good
side. Which is his left side, as I so often like
to remind him. His Instagram has much more engagement
now, by the way. But fair enough. Look, we're
in this together. Oh, shit. It's Michael. Well,
answer it. Michael, hey. Yes, it went great.
The client loved all the campaigns. She wants
to go with the third one, the music -driven spot.
Well, yes, but I think we can pull it off without
a celebrity voiceover. Well, I think Scott Baio
was canceled over... Okay, understood. Yeah,
Joel and I are getting on our flight now. We'll
have new scripts to you tomorrow. Okay, bye.
Was he pissed? Yeah, Michael still thinks we
need a celebrity. Listen, impressing the client
is the main thing. Satisfying our boss is the
next hurdle, if that's even possible. We'll work
on it tonight and tomorrow and be ready to present
to Michael by afternoon. I mean, if I'm going
to get promoted to creative director and make
83 cents to every dollar you make, I'll do what
it takes. Hi, sis. Oh, God. Claire, what's wrong?
Why are you here this early? Is it mom or dad?
Who's in the hospital? No, no, no mom and dad
are fine. No one is in the hospital. It's me.
I'm just kind of freaking out and I haven't slept.
And I need crafts. You're at my house at 6 .30
a .m. on a Tuesday because you need crafts? Yes.
I'm spinning out, crashing out, freaking out.
Whatever it is the kids are saying. Okay. Walk
with us to the bus stop. We'll figure it out.
Aunt Claire! Why are you here? I like your pajamas.
Mom, can I have pajamas with cats on them for
my birthday? Samantha, Jonathan, hey guys. Kids,
grab your backpacks. We're rolling out. Bus is
going to be here in one minute. Let's go, let's
go. Aunt Claire, I'm going to show you our bus
stop. It's right in front of Tony's house. Who's
Tony? I'm not ready to do a walk of shame in
my pajamas to your kids' bus stop right now.
It's right around the corner. All the other parents
will be in their robes and slippers. It's fine.
This is so weird. You're the one who showed up
at my doorstep at the ass -crack of dawn. Mom,
you can't say that word. Your mom says words
much worse than ass -crack for a living. Believe
me. Aunt Claire, please stop saying bad words.
Bye, kids. Love you. Have a great day. Okay,
spell it. Why are you having an existential crisis
about crafts? You're never going to believe this,
but... I quit my job. You what? You love your
job. I thought you were about to finally get
that promotion. Yeah, I thought so too, but my
boss threw a chair. Your asshole boss threw a
chair at you? Well, he didn't throw a chair at
me. He threw a chair because of me. Basically,
I refused to revise the scripts according to
his vision. Why on earth would you refuse to
do something your boss asked of you? Are you
feeling okay? Oh my god! Is this like that time
in sixth grade when you got the flu and you started
hallucinating from the fever dreams? So, you
know, I had that big client presentation, right?
The client loved everything we presented. They
approved the campaign Joel and I liked best.
But of course, that was the one that Michael
hated. He didn't even want us to present it.
So Joel and I pulled an all nighter. We're doing
the whole concept so that Michael could just
piss all over it again. He threw me under the
bus with the client and caused a big political
mess, which got blamed on me. I told Michael
that I'm done with the ad agency politics. He
needs to let us produce the campaign that we
wrote, or I quit. And he threw a chair across
the room and called my bluff. I think he was
a little drunk, to be honest. He was drunk? At
work? It's advertising. It's a thing. And he
needs an old -fashioned at 5 p .m. or he gets
cranky. Okay, Don Draper. No, the agency good
old boys are John Draper and they can't handle
a woman in the spotlight. That's why they were
never going to promote me to creative director
in the first place. I'm not playing into the
agency patriarchy anymore. All this time, they've
been overlooking the real creativity and the
actual creatives who work nights, weekends, give
up our personal lives. And for what? So that
people will eat more fast food? Go to some Labor
Day sale? Or cry over a branded short film about
oat milk? I was so proud of that campaign. Right.
You love what you do. You love throwing yourself
into your work. You make really good creative
campaigns. And it is art in its own way. Which
is why I'm having an existential crisis. I don't
know how to not work my ass off. I've never quit
a job before. Aren't you always getting recruited,
though? There are a ton of ad agencies in Atlanta.
You'll find a new job in no time. Yeah, but should
I? Claire. What? Are you serious? Are you actually
considering taking my advice? I don't know. I've
been trying to get you to go freelance for years.
You'll be able to pick and choose the projects
you work on. You'll get to decide when and how
you work. This is exactly what you need. Yeah,
but what will I do with all this time? I had
11 Zoom meetings on my calendar yesterday, but
now I don't even have access to my files. I'm
so used to constantly churning out big ideas
and concepts and layouts and scripts. And do
you know, I didn't even have time to go to the
bathroom between meetings. I would mute and bring
my phone in with me. That is not healthy. And
probably an HR violation. But I'm starting to
put it all together now. Crafts are soothing.
You think you can just roll up in here and glue
together some popsicle sticks to channel your
creative energy while you're having this identity
crisis? Yes. I knew you'd get it. That's stupid,
but okay. You know what? I can use this to my
advantage today. Oh, good. Now it's all about
you. Yes! I've got to make 26 dirt cupcakes for
Samantha's classroom tomorrow. Dirt? Cupcakes?
Gross. It's not real dirt. It's Oreo crumbs and
gummy worms. The kids go crazy over it. Oh, but
don't you have to work? I was just planning on,
like, borrowing a paint -by -number set from
Samantha's stash and then going home to wallow
in self -doubt and ice cream. Nope. I can't record
today. Today is Tony's power tool day for the
treehouse. Power tool day? And who's Tony? Does
he have a chainsaw? Because I would love to get
my hands on one right now. Oh, no. That's the
last thing we need. Let's stick to small kitchen
appliances. Hey, Brian. Claire's here, so you
better not come down in your boxers. She's seen
worse. You know Tony, my lawn guy. The bus stop
is in front of his house. I can't record the
sighs and heavy panting of those intimate scenes
if you can hear hammering and sawing in the backyard.
Ew. Wait, you're letting Tony, the neighborhood
lawn guy, build a treehouse for Jonathan and
Samantha? Is that safe? Does he know what he's
doing? Yeah. Tony's multifaceted. He's not just
a lawn guy. He's a musician. He knows how to
build stuff, and he's quite the artist, too.
Good morning. Oh, yeah, Tony? Yeah, that dude
is so freaking cool. You should see him play
the guitar. I have a huge man crush on him. Wait,
Claire, why are you here this early? Everything
okay? Hey, Brian. Yes, I'm fine. Just having
a mental breakdown and your wife is making me
make cupcakes. Yeah, that tracks. Okay, babe.
I gotta get to work. Those pivot tables won't
sort themselves. Bye, Brian. Love you. Okay,
so cupcakes. Yeah, I can do that. Where's the
recipe? Claire, you don't have to start at 6
.45 a .m. You don't have a job. Go home and...
Watch reruns while eating Froot Loops. Then come
back over here to make cupcakes at a reasonable
time of day. Okay, Shannon, I'm back. I watched
two episodes of The Sopranos, ate two bowls of
Raisin Crunch. I refuse to relax any longer.
Please give me something to do. Again with the
productivity. It's still only 10 a .m. Dude,
you need to learn how to chill out. I just spent
an hour reading Twilight fanfiction on Reddit.
No regrets. Hey, who's that in your backyard?
That's Tony. Oh. Yes. Oh, I don't know. I just
pictured, like, Tony Soprano. You thought Tony
Soprano was my lawn -slash -treehouse guy? I
don't know. He's fresh on my mind. I just wasn't
picturing that. That? He's not a piece of meat,
Claire. Oh, no, I... He's a whole hunk of man,
am I right? You should see him in the afternoon
when it's hot and he gets all, like, sweaty.
Oh my god, you're so cringe. No, I meant, I didn't
expect him to look like an actual lumberjack.
Oh, okay. Where is this dirt cupcake recipe?
Crap! This mixer is bullshit! Make cupcakes,
she said. It'll be a good creative outlet, she
said. Yeah, well, apparently I don't know how
to use your fancy -ass bougie kitchen. Oh, shit.
There's dirt matter on the ceiling. Shit, shit,
shit. Everything okay down there? Yeah, I'm fine.
Just talking to myself. All good. Damn it. Okay.
Ooh, steps tool. Jesus, how tall are these ceilings?
Ooh, Swiffer. I got this. Hey, Shannon. Oh, um,
uh... Oh, um, no, hi. I'm Claire. I hope the
treehouse is coming along better than this disaster.
Shh, don't say a word. Uh, may I ask why you're
Swiffering the ceiling? Because I got batter
on my sister's ceiling and she's gonna murder
me. Oh, you're the sister. Yeah, Shannon has
mentioned you. Shh. I don't want her to come
down here and see that I got effing dirt batter
all over her bougie kitchen. It's nice to meet
you, too. I'm Tony. Hi, Tony. Neighbor slash
lawn guy slash treehouse guy. Got it. Oh, shit.
Ow. You dropped the Swiffer on my face. And what
the hell is dirt batter? Please. Tell me this
is not dirt from the backyard. I just did the
fertilizer last week and this is not sanitary.
No, no, no. It's chocolate and cookies. Dirt
cupcakes for Samantha's birthday for school.
Oh, right. With the gummy worms. Yes. Classic.
Can I help you with the Swiffer? You know, mostly
so you don't give me a broken nose. Yes. I'm
sorry I dropped a Swiffer on your head. Wow,
you are tall. I've had worse things thrown in
my head and cleaned up more disgusting things
from ceilings, come to think of it. I'm afraid
to ask. Any idea how to attach a mixing bowl
to a KitchenAid? Actually, yes. Oh, man of many
talents. And here you go. And you've got a little
something on... On my face? Oh, man. Thanks.
Okay, well... Have you seen your sister around?
I was just going to ask her. Ow! Be careful.
It's slippery over there. Are you okay? Oh, crap.
I fell right across the step stool and... Claire.
What the hell happened? Oh, I had a little mishap
with the mixer and then I slipped and... Holy
shit, this hurts. Oh, man. Can I get you an ice
pack? Can you stand up? Damn it. I don't think
I can put weight on it. Here, here, let me help
you. Lean on me. Ow! Ooh, your foot does not
look right. I think I need to take you to get
an x -ray. Don't be silly. It's fine. I'm fine.
I just need to sit for a second with some ice
and a large glass of whiskey. You got any whiskey?
Whiskey. On it. Okay, here you go, Grace. It's
Claire. Um, yeah, I know. I was... Never mind.
Bad joke. Oh. Thank you. I'm an idiot. Oh. Oh,
damn. It's already swelling pretty bad. Claire,
I'm taking you to urgent care. Come on. Fine.
Fine. But, ow! How do I get down the steps to
the garage? I'll carry you. Uh, that's okay.
I got it. I'll just hop or crawl at this point.
Uh, here. Do you want to pull up on my arm? Your
arm? You mean, yes, your arms. Okay, wow, those
are some arms. I guess you do a lot of manual
labor, huh? Okay. Ow, ow, ow. Tony, will you
text Brian and tell him he needs to pick up the
kids from school this afternoon? Yep, on it.
Okay, y 'all be careful, and good luck with the
x -rays, Claire. Okay. Hey, Brian, Shannon needs
you to pick up the kids from school. She's taking
Claire to urgent care. By the way, is she single?
No, no, no, no, no. Be cool, Tony. Delete, delete,
delete, delete. By the way, do you have the recipe
for dirt cupcakes? And that's how it all started.
I knew they would be a good match. I also knew
they were going to need a little push. I mean,
hell, I am one of the classic rom -com tropes
too. The over -invested sister who meddles in
the main character's love life. Like I said,
all the ingredients for a classic rom -com were
just laid out in front of me. Number one. A career
-driven woman obsessed with work and marketing.
Claire isn't advertising close enough. Number
two. Add a sexy, salt -of -the -earth, flannel
-wearing man. My neighbor slash handyman slash
lawn guy, Tony. Number three, the meet -cute.
Did I know my sister was gonna fall and fracture
her foot? Of course not. Did I know leaving her
alone to bake a recipe she's never heard of while
Tony was working in the backyard would probably
result in an awkward introduction? Yep, yes I
did. Number four, find the true meaning of Christmas.
Just kidding. This is not a Christmas story,
but that would have been awesome, right? Number
five. Next week, introduce another rom -com trope,
forced proximity. See you then. The rom -com
formula was created, directed, produced, and
written by Susan Cooper, co -produced by Micah
Caldwell, and co -written by Micah Caldwell,
Rozzy Shadmery, and Saithi Sullyperm, co -starring
Susan Cooper as Shannon, Micah Caldwell as Claire,
and Matt Fogarty as Tony. Joined in this episode
by an ensemble cast that includes Francisco Almenara
as Brian, Caden MacArthur as Joel, Matilda Cooper
as Samantha, Oliver Clearfield as Jonathan. and
Libby Clearfield as client. Series edited by
Doug Lehman with post -production provided by
Rosebank Picture and Sound. If this episode of
the Rom -Com Formula swept you off your feet,
please like and subscribe, leave us a review,
share with your favorite hopeless romantic, and
follow us on Instagram at romcomformula for bonus
content. I am Diana Durand. Thanks for listening.