WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.100 Okay, I want to start today with a little mental 00:00:02.100 --> 00:00:04.379 exercise. I want you to close your eyes, assuming 00:00:04.379 --> 00:00:07.820 you aren't driving, of course, and just picture 00:00:07.820 --> 00:00:12.060 a saint, specifically Saint Ignatius of Loyola. 00:00:12.400 --> 00:00:14.869 What's the image that pops into your head? Well, 00:00:14.970 --> 00:00:17.390 I imagine for most people it's the standard, 00:00:17.589 --> 00:00:19.670 you know, the stained glass window treatment. 00:00:19.890 --> 00:00:22.850 Right. You see a figure in these flowing robes. 00:00:22.850 --> 00:00:25.550 Maybe he's holding a book of rules and he's gazing 00:00:25.550 --> 00:00:29.070 serenely up at a beam of heavenly light. Hands 00:00:29.070 --> 00:00:31.929 folded in prayer. A halo, obviously. A halo is 00:00:31.929 --> 00:00:34.329 a must, yes. Exactly. That's the brand. That 00:00:34.329 --> 00:00:37.490 is the statue you see in the garden. Now, I want 00:00:37.490 --> 00:00:40.030 you to take that mental image and absolutely 00:00:40.030 --> 00:00:42.530 smash it with a cannonball. Tuckling. A very... 00:00:43.140 --> 00:00:45.740 Specific instruction. Because the sources we 00:00:45.740 --> 00:00:47.979 have in front of us for this deep dive, they 00:00:47.979 --> 00:00:50.119 tell a completely, and I mean completely different 00:00:50.119 --> 00:00:52.500 story. Right. If you met this guy in his 20s, 00:00:52.500 --> 00:00:54.820 you wouldn't be asking for his blessing. Yeah. 00:00:54.880 --> 00:00:56.920 You would probably be crossing the street to 00:00:56.920 --> 00:00:59.520 avoid getting stabbed. That is a very fair assessment. 00:00:59.820 --> 00:01:03.140 The man we are analyzing today, Inigo Lopez de 00:01:03.140 --> 00:01:06.239 Onyazi Loyola, did not start out as a holy figure. 00:01:06.400 --> 00:01:08.980 Not even close. Not even a little bit. In fact, 00:01:09.219 --> 00:01:12.019 our sources, we have a... A pretty wide range 00:01:12.019 --> 00:01:15.239 here from his own autobiography to military records 00:01:15.239 --> 00:01:19.319 and even a rather gruesome autopsy report. They 00:01:19.319 --> 00:01:22.400 paint a picture of a man who was, quite frankly, 00:01:22.599 --> 00:01:25.959 a disaster. A disaster. I love that. One of the 00:01:25.959 --> 00:01:29.120 sources actually calls him a rough, punkish swordsman. 00:01:29.219 --> 00:01:31.439 That's the one. I am obsessed with that description. 00:01:31.780 --> 00:01:35.079 Rough, punkish swordsman. So our mission today 00:01:35.079 --> 00:01:38.689 is to figure out how that guy. A vain, violent, 00:01:38.849 --> 00:01:41.530 tight -boot -wearing soldier transformed into 00:01:41.530 --> 00:01:44.189 this master of human psychology who founded one 00:01:44.189 --> 00:01:45.969 of the most intellectually rigorous organizations 00:01:45.969 --> 00:01:47.890 in history. It's an incredible transformation. 00:01:48.150 --> 00:01:50.629 And it all hinges on a single, split -second 00:01:50.629 --> 00:01:52.409 event, what you might call the cannonball effect. 00:01:52.670 --> 00:01:55.469 Right. The moment physics met ego. A very, very 00:01:55.469 --> 00:01:58.450 loud meeting. Very loud indeed. But before we 00:01:58.450 --> 00:01:59.950 get to the cannonball, we have to understand 00:01:59.950 --> 00:02:02.129 the target. We need to really understand who 00:02:02.129 --> 00:02:04.530 Inigo was before the halo. We have to go back. 00:02:04.689 --> 00:02:07.920 We have to go back to the Basque Country. Year 00:02:07.920 --> 00:02:12.300 is 1491. And we have to understand the context 00:02:12.300 --> 00:02:15.539 of his family, the Oñas Loyola clan. He was the 00:02:15.539 --> 00:02:18.840 youngest of 13 children born in the family castle 00:02:18.840 --> 00:02:22.360 at Loyola. 13 kids. 13! But don't let that word 00:02:22.360 --> 00:02:24.659 castle trick you into thinking this was some 00:02:24.659 --> 00:02:27.930 refined Disney -style nobility. This was a rough 00:02:27.930 --> 00:02:30.189 part of the world. It wasn't a fairy tale. Far 00:02:30.189 --> 00:02:32.110 from it. This was the era of what they called 00:02:32.110 --> 00:02:35.069 the War of the Bands. Which, despite the name, 00:02:35.129 --> 00:02:38.129 was not a musical competition between rival drummers. 00:02:38.270 --> 00:02:41.689 No, not at all. This was centuries of just brutal, 00:02:41.770 --> 00:02:44.689 feudal, tribal violence in the Basque region. 00:02:44.830 --> 00:02:47.129 To give you an idea of the, let's say, the temperature 00:02:47.129 --> 00:02:49.789 of the room, Inigo's own grandfather was actually 00:02:49.789 --> 00:02:52.729 expelled from the region by King Henry IV. the 00:02:52.729 --> 00:02:55.189 king ordered their manor house their castle to 00:02:55.189 --> 00:02:57.669 be demolished demolished you mean like we are 00:02:57.669 --> 00:02:59.509 tearing your house down because you people are 00:02:59.509 --> 00:03:02.610 so completely uncontrollable exactly that specifically 00:03:02.610 --> 00:03:05.090 for their depredations that is the word in the 00:03:05.090 --> 00:03:07.169 historical records they were i mean they were 00:03:07.169 --> 00:03:09.469 essentially terrorizing the countryside Wow. 00:03:09.610 --> 00:03:11.830 So violence is the family business. It really 00:03:11.830 --> 00:03:14.909 is. So Nego is born into this culture where honor 00:03:14.909 --> 00:03:17.509 is solved with steel. Reputation is absolutely 00:03:17.509 --> 00:03:20.250 everything. And the family business is, you know, 00:03:20.250 --> 00:03:22.750 low level warfare and feuding. And he didn't 00:03:22.750 --> 00:03:25.050 exactly break the mold, did he? Not at all. He 00:03:25.050 --> 00:03:27.610 fit right in. His mother died shortly after he 00:03:27.610 --> 00:03:29.810 was born. So he was actually nursed by the local 00:03:29.810 --> 00:03:32.509 blacksmith's wife. So he grows up rough. He grows 00:03:32.509 --> 00:03:35.409 up very rough. The sources all agree he was driven 00:03:35.409 --> 00:03:39.340 by a desire for fame. Not holiness, not service, 00:03:39.539 --> 00:03:43.099 fame. He wanted to be a hero in the classical 00:03:43.099 --> 00:03:45.740 epic sense. And he was a reader, which is interesting, 00:03:45.819 --> 00:03:48.259 but not of the Bible. No, no. He was completely 00:03:48.259 --> 00:03:51.680 obsessed with chivalric romances. You have to 00:03:51.680 --> 00:03:53.680 think of the bestsellers of the day, a book like 00:03:53.680 --> 00:03:56.310 Amidistagala. What's that about? It's all tales 00:03:56.310 --> 00:03:59.949 of knights, damsels in distress, dragons, magic, 00:04:00.069 --> 00:04:02.650 and lots and lots of duels. He patterned his 00:04:02.650 --> 00:04:05.330 entire personality, his whole way of being in 00:04:05.330 --> 00:04:08.090 the world, around this fiction. He wanted to 00:04:08.090 --> 00:04:10.629 be the main character of his own story. And he 00:04:10.629 --> 00:04:12.770 dressed the part. This is one of my favorite 00:04:12.770 --> 00:04:15.389 details in the entire stack of research we have. 00:04:15.550 --> 00:04:17.490 It's very telling. Listen to this description 00:04:17.490 --> 00:04:20.170 of him as a teenager, serving in the court of 00:04:20.170 --> 00:04:23.220 the treasurer of Castile. It says he strutted 00:04:23.220 --> 00:04:26.399 about with his cape flying open to reveal his 00:04:26.399 --> 00:04:29.379 tight fitting hose and boots, a sword and dagger 00:04:29.379 --> 00:04:32.220 at his waist. He's peacocking. It's pure performance. 00:04:32.420 --> 00:04:34.139 Total peacocking. He wants everyone to see his 00:04:34.139 --> 00:04:36.819 fancy boots and his, you know, well -turned calves. 00:04:37.100 --> 00:04:39.920 It's classic overcompensation, really. He wasn't 00:04:39.920 --> 00:04:42.139 a particularly tall man, but he was incredibly 00:04:42.139 --> 00:04:45.480 vain. The sources are very clear on this. He 00:04:45.480 --> 00:04:47.540 was obsessed with his appearance, specifically 00:04:47.540 --> 00:04:51.019 his legs and his long flowing hair. And he was 00:04:51.019 --> 00:04:55.079 quote, sensitive to insult. Which is a very dangerous 00:04:55.079 --> 00:04:57.240 trait when you're carrying a sword and a dagger 00:04:57.240 --> 00:04:58.899 at all times. Yeah, that's a bad combination. 00:04:59.139 --> 00:05:01.040 And we have to talk about the criminal record 00:05:01.040 --> 00:05:03.019 because usually when you read a saint's biography, 00:05:03.339 --> 00:05:05.699 they kind of skip the part about the arrest warrant. 00:05:05.860 --> 00:05:08.379 Yes, the hagiographies, the official saint's 00:05:08.379 --> 00:05:10.540 stories, they tend to gloss over this little 00:05:10.540 --> 00:05:13.420 episode. The sources are a bit vague on the specifics, 00:05:13.519 --> 00:05:16.220 probably to protect his reputation later on. 00:05:16.300 --> 00:05:19.339 But we know that during carnival time in 1515, 00:05:19.699 --> 00:05:23.259 Inigo and his brother... who was a priest, mind 00:05:23.259 --> 00:05:25.899 you. His brother was a priest. A priest. They 00:05:25.899 --> 00:05:28.720 were involved in some nocturnal misdemeanors. 00:05:28.959 --> 00:05:30.500 Nocturnal misdemeanors sounds like they were, 00:05:30.620 --> 00:05:32.439 I don't know, tipping cows or something. But 00:05:32.439 --> 00:05:34.339 it was way worse than that, wasn't it? Oh, it 00:05:34.339 --> 00:05:37.360 was violent. It was described as treacherous. 00:05:37.399 --> 00:05:40.379 It was significant enough that he was prosecuted 00:05:40.379 --> 00:05:42.899 for it. And here is where we see his character 00:05:42.899 --> 00:05:45.279 at the time really shine through. How does he 00:05:45.279 --> 00:05:47.410 get out of it? He gets out of it by claiming 00:05:47.410 --> 00:05:50.430 clerical immunity. Because he had been tonsured 00:05:50.430 --> 00:05:52.709 as a boy, you know, the haircut that was a minor 00:05:52.709 --> 00:05:54.670 religious rite, it didn't really make him a priest. 00:05:54.730 --> 00:05:56.810 But technically, legally, it put him under church 00:05:56.810 --> 00:05:59.329 law, not civil law. So he played the don't you 00:05:59.329 --> 00:06:01.949 know who I am card. He used a legal loophole 00:06:01.949 --> 00:06:05.000 to escape jail. Precisely. So let's just recap 00:06:05.000 --> 00:06:07.160 the profile we're building here. We have a violent, 00:06:07.259 --> 00:06:10.879 womanizing, fashion -obsessed aristocrat who 00:06:10.879 --> 00:06:13.879 uses his privilege and legal loopholes to avoid 00:06:13.879 --> 00:06:16.500 the consequences of his actions. He's a brat. 00:06:16.740 --> 00:06:19.579 A dangerous, noble brat. That's a perfect summary. 00:06:19.720 --> 00:06:21.519 But he must have been competent, right? He wasn't 00:06:21.519 --> 00:06:23.620 just a layabout, a trust fund kid. Oh no, he 00:06:23.620 --> 00:06:25.459 was very competent. He was known as a servant 00:06:25.459 --> 00:06:28.180 of the court. He had charisma. He joined the 00:06:28.180 --> 00:06:31.079 military at 17 and served under the Duke of Najera. 00:06:31.629 --> 00:06:33.769 He was apparently a very good diplomat and a 00:06:33.769 --> 00:06:36.430 brave soldier. But the motivation was all wrong. 00:06:36.649 --> 00:06:38.889 The motivation was entirely internal. It was 00:06:38.889 --> 00:06:41.769 all about his ego. He wanted the glory. He wanted 00:06:41.769 --> 00:06:44.069 people to write songs about his deeds. Which 00:06:44.069 --> 00:06:46.329 brings us to the moment that changed absolutely 00:06:46.329 --> 00:06:51.550 everything. The inciting incident. May 20, 1521. 00:06:52.029 --> 00:06:55.050 The Battle of Pamplona. This is the turning point. 00:06:55.230 --> 00:06:57.970 The context here is a French Navarrese expedition 00:06:57.970 --> 00:07:01.230 force storming the fortress of Pamplona. Inigo 00:07:01.230 --> 00:07:03.910 is one of the defenders. And the odds are terrible. 00:07:04.009 --> 00:07:06.490 The odds are terrible. The Spanish force is vastly 00:07:06.490 --> 00:07:08.910 outnumbered. Most of the other officers, the 00:07:08.910 --> 00:07:11.170 sensible ones, want to surrender. But Inigo, 00:07:11.350 --> 00:07:13.189 thinking he's the hero in one of his romance 00:07:13.189 --> 00:07:17.189 novels, says, no surrender. Exactly. He convinces 00:07:17.189 --> 00:07:19.569 the commander to hold the fortress. He rallies 00:07:19.569 --> 00:07:22.430 the troops with this big heroic speech. He's 00:07:22.430 --> 00:07:24.629 right in the thick of the defense on the ramparts. 00:07:24.709 --> 00:07:28.079 And then the cannon fires. Now, a lot of people 00:07:28.079 --> 00:07:30.199 think he took a direct hit from the cannonball, 00:07:30.339 --> 00:07:33.779 but that's not quite right, is it? It was a ricochet. 00:07:33.819 --> 00:07:36.300 It was a ricochet off the wall, which in some 00:07:36.300 --> 00:07:40.379 ways is worse. The physics of a heavy iron ball 00:07:40.379 --> 00:07:43.040 spinning at that speed are just unforgiving. 00:07:43.100 --> 00:07:45.939 It smashed through his legs. Lural. Both legs. 00:07:46.139 --> 00:07:49.220 Both. It fractured his right leg, shattered it. 00:07:49.500 --> 00:07:52.199 Really, and badly injured the left one as well. 00:07:52.399 --> 00:07:55.319 And just like that, the dancing, the strutting, 00:07:55.319 --> 00:07:58.180 the fencing, the fancy boots, it's over. It's 00:07:58.180 --> 00:08:01.199 all over. But the injury is really just the prologue 00:08:01.199 --> 00:08:03.560 to the horror show that is 16th Century Medicine. 00:08:03.660 --> 00:08:05.379 Right. We have to constantly remind ourselves, 00:08:05.579 --> 00:08:08.230 and you, the listener. There is no anesthesia. 00:08:08.329 --> 00:08:10.629 Zero. There are no antibiotics, no germ theory. 00:08:10.810 --> 00:08:13.110 The French soldiers, actually out of respect 00:08:13.110 --> 00:08:15.069 for his bravery, didn't take him prisoner. They 00:08:15.069 --> 00:08:17.110 carried him back to his family home at Loyola. 00:08:17.250 --> 00:08:19.769 A small mercy, I guess. A small mercy, but the 00:08:19.769 --> 00:08:21.850 bones had been set poorly in the field. They 00:08:21.850 --> 00:08:23.529 weren't knitting together correctly. They were 00:08:23.529 --> 00:08:25.870 a mess. And this is where the vanity we talked 00:08:25.870 --> 00:08:27.889 about earlier, his obsession with his appearance, 00:08:28.110 --> 00:08:31.370 becomes genuinely pathological. The source says 00:08:31.370 --> 00:08:34.230 a piece of bone was protruding below the knee. 00:08:34.600 --> 00:08:37.539 It was ruining the line of the leg. Think about 00:08:37.539 --> 00:08:40.179 that. He's lying there in agony, but his primary 00:08:40.179 --> 00:08:43.620 concern is aesthetic. He looked at his mangled 00:08:43.620 --> 00:08:46.200 leg and realized he couldn't wear his fashionable 00:08:46.200 --> 00:08:48.360 tight -fitting boots with that bone sticking 00:08:48.360 --> 00:08:50.559 out. It was a fashion disaster for him. It was 00:08:50.559 --> 00:08:52.980 an aesthetic catastrophe. So what did he do? 00:08:53.120 --> 00:08:55.159 I mean, what could he do? He told the doctors 00:08:55.159 --> 00:08:57.919 to break the leg again. What? She ordered them 00:08:57.919 --> 00:09:01.120 to re -break the leg and reset it. And when that 00:09:01.120 --> 00:09:03.600 was done, and a piece of bone was still protruding, 00:09:03.740 --> 00:09:06.220 he ordered them to saw it off. He voluntarily 00:09:06.220 --> 00:09:08.700 had a guy saw off a piece of his own leg bone 00:09:08.700 --> 00:09:11.019 while he was awake, just so his boots would fit 00:09:11.019 --> 00:09:13.899 better. He did. The sources say he clenched his 00:09:13.899 --> 00:09:16.340 fist so hard during the procedure that he didn't 00:09:16.340 --> 00:09:18.799 cry out, but the physical toll was just immense. 00:09:19.100 --> 00:09:21.460 He nearly died from the shock and the subsequent 00:09:21.460 --> 00:09:23.679 infection. They gave him the last rites. They 00:09:23.679 --> 00:09:25.639 did. Everyone thought he was going to die, but 00:09:25.639 --> 00:09:27.960 he somehow pulled through. It's a level of commitment 00:09:27.960 --> 00:09:30.700 to fashion that I... I almost have to respect 00:09:30.700 --> 00:09:33.860 it. It's horrifying, but it's impressive. It's 00:09:33.860 --> 00:09:36.240 something, that's for sure. But it didn't even 00:09:36.240 --> 00:09:40.259 work, did it? Not fully. He survived, which in 00:09:40.259 --> 00:09:42.460 itself is a miracle, given the sanitation at 00:09:42.460 --> 00:09:44.980 the time. But the leg never healed properly. 00:09:45.399 --> 00:09:47.759 One leg ended up permanently shorter than the 00:09:47.759 --> 00:09:50.340 other. So he had a limp. A permanent, pronounced 00:09:50.340 --> 00:09:53.419 limp for the rest of his life. His military career 00:09:53.419 --> 00:09:56.620 was over. His days as a dashing courtier were 00:09:56.620 --> 00:09:59.080 over. So the punkish swordsman is effectively 00:09:59.080 --> 00:10:02.200 dead. He's now an invalid. He's stuck in bed 00:10:02.200 --> 00:10:04.840 at the family castle for months on end. And this 00:10:04.840 --> 00:10:07.000 leads to what I think is the most relatable part 00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:10.029 of this entire story. The boredom. It is the 00:10:10.029 --> 00:10:11.909 boredom that changed the world. It really is. 00:10:11.950 --> 00:10:15.049 He is convalescing. He is in pain. He is desperate 00:10:15.049 --> 00:10:17.289 for any kind of distraction from his new reality. 00:10:17.429 --> 00:10:19.450 So he asks for his books, right? He wants his 00:10:19.450 --> 00:10:22.309 romance novels. He wants Amidista Gala. He wants 00:10:22.309 --> 00:10:24.750 to disassociate from his pain and just read about 00:10:24.750 --> 00:10:27.210 knights and ladies. He does, but the castle didn't 00:10:27.210 --> 00:10:29.909 have any. The Loyola Family Library was apparently 00:10:29.909 --> 00:10:32.779 very, very sparse. What did they have? They only 00:10:32.779 --> 00:10:35.399 had two books in the entire house. The Life of 00:10:35.399 --> 00:10:38.460 Christ by a writer named Ludolf of Saxony and 00:10:38.460 --> 00:10:40.379 a collection of the lives of the saints, the 00:10:40.379 --> 00:10:42.659 Floss Sanctorum. So it's like wanting to binge 00:10:42.659 --> 00:10:44.940 watch a big action series on Netflix and finding 00:10:44.940 --> 00:10:47.059 out the only thing available is a documentary 00:10:47.059 --> 00:10:50.100 on medieval monks. That's a perfect analogy. 00:10:50.460 --> 00:10:53.720 He must have been so annoyed. Furious, I'd imagine. 00:10:53.879 --> 00:10:56.960 But out of sheer soul crushing desperation and 00:10:56.960 --> 00:10:59.970 boredom, he started reading. And because he had 00:10:59.970 --> 00:11:02.429 such a vivid imagination, the same imagination 00:11:02.429 --> 00:11:05.029 he used to use for his nightly fantasies, he 00:11:05.029 --> 00:11:06.990 started daydreaming about what he was reading. 00:11:07.190 --> 00:11:09.330 And this is the moment. This is where the deep 00:11:09.330 --> 00:11:12.309 dive really pays off. Because he starts to notice 00:11:12.309 --> 00:11:14.629 something happening in his own brain that becomes 00:11:14.629 --> 00:11:17.429 the foundation of his entire philosophy. This 00:11:17.429 --> 00:11:19.269 is the discovery of what he would later call 00:11:19.269 --> 00:11:21.870 discernment. It's a psychological breakthrough. 00:11:22.570 --> 00:11:26.090 Here's the data point he observes. Inigo noticed 00:11:26.090 --> 00:11:29.379 he had two distinct types of data. dreams. Let's 00:11:29.379 --> 00:11:31.759 call them Type A and Type B. Okay. Break them 00:11:31.759 --> 00:11:34.740 down for us. Type A was the worldly dream. He 00:11:34.740 --> 00:11:36.759 would lie there and dream about his old life, 00:11:36.919 --> 00:11:40.360 serving the king, winning duels, impressing this 00:11:40.360 --> 00:11:43.639 one particular royal lady he was obsessed with. 00:11:43.759 --> 00:11:46.879 Fun stuff. The ego stuff. Exactly. The highlights 00:11:46.879 --> 00:11:49.840 reel. And the source, his own autobiography, 00:11:49.899 --> 00:11:51.679 says that while he was thinking about these things, 00:11:51.779 --> 00:11:54.019 he felt very excited. He was delighted. It was 00:11:54.019 --> 00:11:56.700 a high dopamine state. Sure. But, and this is 00:11:56.700 --> 00:11:59.710 the crucial observation, When the daydream ended, 00:11:59.950 --> 00:12:02.549 when he came back to reality in his sickbed, 00:12:02.690 --> 00:12:08.450 he felt dry, desolate, dissatisfied, empty. Okay, 00:12:08.529 --> 00:12:12.350 so a high peak followed by a low valley. A crash. 00:12:12.570 --> 00:12:15.460 A real crash. Then there was type B. He would 00:12:15.460 --> 00:12:18.480 read about St. Francis of Assisi or St. Dominic, 00:12:18.480 --> 00:12:20.600 and he would daydream about imitating them. He'd 00:12:20.600 --> 00:12:22.919 think, what if I walked to Jerusalem barefoot? 00:12:23.240 --> 00:12:26.100 Or what if I ate only herbs and lived in a cave? 00:12:26.399 --> 00:12:28.600 Which on the surface sounds miserable compared 00:12:28.600 --> 00:12:30.919 to court life and duels. It does. It sounds hard 00:12:30.919 --> 00:12:33.179 and unpleasant. But he noticed something strange 00:12:33.179 --> 00:12:35.559 about the after effect. While the thought itself 00:12:35.559 --> 00:12:37.700 might be daunting, when he stopped thinking about 00:12:37.700 --> 00:12:41.220 it, he didn't feel empty. He felt peaceful. A 00:12:41.220 --> 00:12:44.509 good feeling. A lasting good feeling. He remained 00:12:44.509 --> 00:12:47.850 contented, joyful. There was no crash. So the 00:12:47.850 --> 00:12:50.649 world dream left him empty, and the holy dream 00:12:50.649 --> 00:12:53.250 left him full. It's like the difference between 00:12:53.250 --> 00:12:56.049 eating junk food and a healthy meal. That's a 00:12:56.049 --> 00:12:58.570 great way to put it. He began to realize that 00:12:58.570 --> 00:13:01.250 the immediate emotion isn't the truth. The lingering 00:13:01.250 --> 00:13:04.870 state, the aftertaste, is the truth. The aftertaste 00:13:04.870 --> 00:13:07.950 of an idea. Yes. He called the feeling of emptiness 00:13:07.950 --> 00:13:11.590 desolation and the feeling of peace consolation. 00:13:12.029 --> 00:13:13.970 He came to believe that these weren't just his 00:13:13.970 --> 00:13:16.929 own moods. He believed they were signals, external 00:13:16.929 --> 00:13:19.830 impulses from different spirits, a good spirit 00:13:19.830 --> 00:13:22.289 and a bad spirit, helping him navigate his life 00:13:22.289 --> 00:13:24.710 choices. It's basically the first documented 00:13:24.710 --> 00:13:27.110 case of someone realizing, hey, maybe chasing 00:13:27.110 --> 00:13:29.809 clout and trying to look cool isn't actually 00:13:29.809 --> 00:13:32.490 making me happy in the long run. In a very profound 00:13:32.490 --> 00:13:34.970 way, yes. He's hacking his own spiritual and 00:13:34.970 --> 00:13:37.830 psychological reward system. He realizes that 00:13:37.830 --> 00:13:40.269 the immediate excitement of vanity was a deception. 00:13:40.889 --> 00:13:42.850 And he combines this with another technique he 00:13:42.850 --> 00:13:45.269 learned from one of the books, right? From Ludolf 00:13:45.269 --> 00:13:48.870 of Saxony's book. Yes. The book suggested a method 00:13:48.870 --> 00:13:52.460 of prayer called Simple contemplation. It's said 00:13:52.460 --> 00:13:54.220 that when you read the gospel, you shouldn't 00:13:54.220 --> 00:13:56.500 just read the words like a textbook. You should 00:13:56.500 --> 00:13:58.740 close your eyes and place yourself mentally at 00:13:58.740 --> 00:14:01.919 the scene. It's a visualization. Intense sensory 00:14:01.919 --> 00:14:04.980 visualization. If you are reading about the nativity, 00:14:05.139 --> 00:14:08.419 you should visualize the crib, try to smell the 00:14:08.419 --> 00:14:11.659 straw, hear the animals, feel the cold night 00:14:11.659 --> 00:14:14.980 air on your skin, be a character in the story. 00:14:15.820 --> 00:14:18.620 Ignatius, with his novelist's imagination, latched 00:14:18.620 --> 00:14:21.149 onto this. He took his capacity for fantasy, 00:14:21.350 --> 00:14:23.610 which he used to use for ladies and swords, and 00:14:23.610 --> 00:14:26.450 he completely redirected it, applying it to scripture. 00:14:26.889 --> 00:14:29.149 This methodology would later become the core 00:14:29.149 --> 00:14:32.169 of his famous spiritual exercises. So he's reprogramming 00:14:32.169 --> 00:14:34.190 his entire brain. He eventually heals enough 00:14:34.190 --> 00:14:36.129 to walk, though he's got this pronounced limp 00:14:36.129 --> 00:14:39.409 now. And he decides, OK, I'm done with the tight 00:14:39.409 --> 00:14:41.809 boots. I'm going to Jerusalem. That's his new 00:14:41.809 --> 00:14:44.309 quest. He leaves the castle. He rides to the 00:14:44.309 --> 00:14:46.570 famous Benedictine monastery of Santa Maria de 00:14:46.570 --> 00:14:49.169 Montserrat. And there we get. this incredibly 00:14:49.169 --> 00:14:51.549 cinematic scene that the sources call the Vigil 00:14:51.549 --> 00:14:53.649 of Arms. This is straight out of the chivalry 00:14:53.649 --> 00:14:55.769 books you used to read. It is deeply, deeply 00:14:55.769 --> 00:14:59.029 symbolic. In the romance novels, a knight would 00:14:59.029 --> 00:15:01.929 stand vigil over his weapons all night before 00:15:01.929 --> 00:15:04.970 a great quest or before being knighted. Right. 00:15:05.110 --> 00:15:07.590 Nugo does this. He spends the whole night in 00:15:07.590 --> 00:15:10.629 prayer before an altar of the Virgin Mary. But 00:15:10.629 --> 00:15:13.090 at the end of the night, he hangs his sword and 00:15:13.090 --> 00:15:16.289 dagger on the altar. He leaves them there. He 00:15:16.289 --> 00:15:19.500 surrenders the punkish swordsman. He's decommissioning 00:15:19.500 --> 00:15:22.139 his old self. And the vanity, too. He finds a 00:15:22.139 --> 00:15:24.480 beggar outside, gives him all of his expensive 00:15:24.480 --> 00:15:27.259 noble clothes, and puts on a rough sackcloth 00:15:27.259 --> 00:15:30.340 tunic. He's performing a total identity shift. 00:15:30.980 --> 00:15:32.679 You know, I always feel bad for that beggar in 00:15:32.679 --> 00:15:35.460 the story. Imagine walking around a 16th century 00:15:35.460 --> 00:15:37.820 Spanish town wearing a duke's outfit. He probably 00:15:37.820 --> 00:15:39.840 got arrested immediately for theft. It is highly 00:15:39.840 --> 00:15:42.200 probable he had a very bad day after having a 00:15:42.200 --> 00:15:45.240 very good one. So Inigo walks away in his sackcloth, 00:15:45.259 --> 00:15:47.659 and he heads to a nearby town called Manresa. 00:15:48.190 --> 00:15:50.029 He only intended to stay for a little while, 00:15:50.110 --> 00:15:52.149 but he ended up staying for about a year. And 00:15:52.149 --> 00:15:54.590 this becomes known as his cave period. From the 00:15:54.590 --> 00:15:57.250 castle to a cave. You can't get more extreme 00:15:57.250 --> 00:15:59.350 than that. What was he doing there? He lived 00:15:59.350 --> 00:16:01.909 in a natural cave near the river. He begged for 00:16:01.909 --> 00:16:04.950 food in the town. He did chores at a local hospital. 00:16:05.269 --> 00:16:08.450 And he prayed. He prayed for seven hours a day. 00:16:08.509 --> 00:16:10.909 He stopped cutting his hair and his nails. He 00:16:10.909 --> 00:16:13.649 became the visual opposite of the well -groomed 00:16:13.649 --> 00:16:16.509 courtier he once was. And during this time, the 00:16:16.509 --> 00:16:20.509 cave... Things get, well, they get weird. The 00:16:20.509 --> 00:16:22.590 source describes him having daylight visions. 00:16:22.970 --> 00:16:25.330 Yes, and we need to unpack the serpent vision 00:16:25.330 --> 00:16:27.669 because it's absolutely fascinating from a psychological 00:16:27.669 --> 00:16:29.789 perspective. Yeah, this sounds pretty trippy. 00:16:29.870 --> 00:16:32.230 What did he see? The source, his autobiography 00:16:32.230 --> 00:16:34.509 again, says he saw a form in the air next to 00:16:34.509 --> 00:16:37.190 him. It was exceedingly beautiful. It seemed 00:16:37.190 --> 00:16:39.450 to have the shape of a serpent, and it had many 00:16:39.450 --> 00:16:41.590 things that shone like eyes but were not eyes. 00:16:41.769 --> 00:16:43.909 A beautiful, shining serpent with fake eyes. 00:16:44.250 --> 00:16:46.529 That sounds terrifying, actually, not beautiful. 00:16:46.960 --> 00:16:49.700 Well, initially it gave him much delight. He 00:16:49.700 --> 00:16:52.360 loved gazing at it. It was mesmerizing. But, 00:16:52.419 --> 00:16:55.100 and here he applies his new tool of discernment. 00:16:55.279 --> 00:16:58.340 When the object vanished, he felt disconsolate. 00:16:58.399 --> 00:17:01.799 He felt bad. The crash again. The bad aftertaste. 00:17:01.960 --> 00:17:04.740 Exactly. He eventually interpreted this beautiful 00:17:04.740 --> 00:17:08.119 vision as being diabolical in nature. He realized 00:17:08.119 --> 00:17:10.200 that not all spiritual experiences are good. 00:17:10.700 --> 00:17:12.940 Some are beautiful distractions or deceptions. 00:17:13.099 --> 00:17:15.259 So he's refining his system. He's field testing 00:17:15.259 --> 00:17:17.859 it. Just because it glows and looks holy doesn't 00:17:17.859 --> 00:17:20.680 mean it is. He's learning to trust the lingering 00:17:20.680 --> 00:17:23.559 feeling, not the initial flash. So he's in the 00:17:23.559 --> 00:17:26.880 cave, battling shiny snake visions, figuring 00:17:26.880 --> 00:17:29.980 out his whole theology. He eventually leaves 00:17:29.980 --> 00:17:32.059 Manresa, and he actually makes it to the Holy 00:17:32.059 --> 00:17:36.440 Land. september 1523 he does he gets to jerusalem 00:17:36.440 --> 00:17:38.819 this is the goal he wants to spend the rest of 00:17:38.819 --> 00:17:41.119 his life there walking where jesus walked helping 00:17:41.119 --> 00:17:44.019 pilgrims but he only stays for a few weeks the 00:17:44.019 --> 00:17:46.140 franciscans who were the catholic custodians 00:17:46.140 --> 00:17:48.440 in charge of the holy sites sent him back to 00:17:48.440 --> 00:17:50.880 europe they kicked him out why was he too intense 00:17:50.880 --> 00:17:53.599 for them was he you know, scaring the tourists 00:17:53.599 --> 00:17:55.819 with his unkempt hair. It was more political 00:17:55.819 --> 00:17:58.660 than that. It was a very dangerous time. The 00:17:58.660 --> 00:18:01.619 Franciscans were trying to maintain a very delicate 00:18:01.619 --> 00:18:04.099 peace with the Ottoman rulers of the region. 00:18:04.319 --> 00:18:07.559 They didn't need a rogue sackcloth wearing Spanish 00:18:07.559 --> 00:18:10.859 pilgrim causing diplomatic incidents by trying 00:18:10.859 --> 00:18:12.980 to convert people in the streets. So he was a 00:18:12.980 --> 00:18:15.019 liability. A huge liability. They essentially 00:18:15.019 --> 00:18:17.460 put him on the first ship back and said. Go home. 00:18:17.559 --> 00:18:19.660 That must have been a crushing blow. Yeah. He 00:18:19.660 --> 00:18:22.519 gives up everything, has this massive spiritual 00:18:22.519 --> 00:18:25.980 transformation, walks across Europe, and gets 00:18:25.980 --> 00:18:28.119 fired from his own pilgrimage after just a couple 00:18:28.119 --> 00:18:30.960 of weeks. It was a huge reality check. He realized 00:18:30.960 --> 00:18:33.299 that zeal wasn't enough. Piety wasn't enough. 00:18:33.339 --> 00:18:36.329 If he wanted to really... help souls, as he put 00:18:36.329 --> 00:18:39.069 it. He needed credentials. He needed authority. 00:18:39.329 --> 00:18:41.569 He needed to be a priest. And to be a priest. 00:18:41.730 --> 00:18:44.349 He needed an education. But he's 33 years old 00:18:44.349 --> 00:18:47.150 at this point. In the 1500s, that's practically 00:18:47.150 --> 00:18:49.839 middle age. Yeah. And he doesn't have the basics. 00:18:50.099 --> 00:18:53.000 He barely knows Latin, the language of all scholarship. 00:18:53.299 --> 00:18:57.119 So we get this incredible image of Inigo, the 00:18:57.119 --> 00:18:59.000 former soldier, the man of the world, sitting 00:18:59.000 --> 00:19:01.779 in a free public grammar school in Barcelona. 00:19:02.079 --> 00:19:04.599 Children. Squeezed into a bench alongside 10 00:19:04.599 --> 00:19:07.279 -year -old boys chanting Latin conjugations. 00:19:07.279 --> 00:19:10.420 That requires a total death of the ego. I mean, 00:19:10.440 --> 00:19:13.119 the guy who had a piece of his own bone sawed 00:19:13.119 --> 00:19:15.619 off to look cool in boots is now the oldest kid 00:19:15.619 --> 00:19:18.180 in first grade. It shows an incredible amount 00:19:18.180 --> 00:19:20.319 of determination. He's willing to do whatever 00:19:20.319 --> 00:19:22.900 it takes. He eventually learns enough Latin to 00:19:22.900 --> 00:19:25.119 move to the University of Alcalá to study theology. 00:19:25.559 --> 00:19:28.960 But he runs into trouble again. The Inquisition. 00:19:29.000 --> 00:19:32.619 You can't have a good 16th century Spanish saint 00:19:32.619 --> 00:19:35.339 story without the Inquisition showing up eventually. 00:19:35.619 --> 00:19:39.200 Indeed. Ignatius, or Inigo, as he was still known, 00:19:39.359 --> 00:19:41.339 he wasn't just studying. He was also preaching 00:19:41.339 --> 00:19:43.759 on the street. He was teaching people his method 00:19:43.759 --> 00:19:46.279 of prayer and discernment. And strange things 00:19:46.279 --> 00:19:48.240 started happening. The source mentions women 00:19:48.240 --> 00:19:50.900 in his prayer groups experiencing ecstatic states, 00:19:51.200 --> 00:19:54.339 fainting, convulsions. Correct. It says one fell 00:19:54.339 --> 00:19:56.339 senseless, another sometimes rolled about on 00:19:56.339 --> 00:19:58.599 the ground. The Inquisition got very suspicious. 00:19:58.940 --> 00:20:00.900 Why? There was a group at the time called the 00:20:00.900 --> 00:20:03.640 El Embrados, the Illuminated Ones, who were considered 00:20:03.640 --> 00:20:06.500 heretical. They claimed direct inspiration from 00:20:06.500 --> 00:20:09.619 God, bypassing the church hierarchy. And the 00:20:09.619 --> 00:20:11.720 authorities thought Inigo might be one of them. 00:20:11.779 --> 00:20:14.180 It makes sense from their perspective. He's not 00:20:14.180 --> 00:20:16.720 a priest. He has no theology degree. But he's 00:20:16.720 --> 00:20:19.480 got these crowds of women rolling on the floor 00:20:19.480 --> 00:20:23.599 in religious ecstasy. That's a massive red flag 00:20:23.599 --> 00:20:25.140 for the religious establishment. So what did 00:20:25.140 --> 00:20:27.579 they do? He was interrogated and jailed briefly. 00:20:28.039 --> 00:20:30.359 They examined his teachings and eventually released 00:20:30.359 --> 00:20:33.660 him, finding no heresy. But they told him to 00:20:33.660 --> 00:20:36.119 stop teaching complex theology until he had a 00:20:36.119 --> 00:20:38.740 degree. They basically said, finish school first, 00:20:38.920 --> 00:20:41.299 then you can talk. So he decides to go to the 00:20:41.299 --> 00:20:43.400 big leagues. He decides to go to the intellectual 00:20:43.400 --> 00:20:45.940 capital of Europe at the time, the University 00:20:45.940 --> 00:20:48.099 of Paris. And this is where the squad comes together. 00:20:48.279 --> 00:20:50.799 This is a pivotal moment. He moves to Paris. 00:20:51.369 --> 00:20:54.329 He studies at the Collège de Montague and Collège 00:20:54.329 --> 00:20:57.109 Saint -Marne. And he starts gathering roommates. 00:20:57.470 --> 00:21:00.289 The most historically significant roommates of 00:21:00.289 --> 00:21:02.430 all time, perhaps? He gathers six companions 00:21:02.430 --> 00:21:04.849 around him. And looking at the list of who they 00:21:04.849 --> 00:21:06.930 were, the diversity is really interesting for 00:21:06.930 --> 00:21:08.730 the time. So who do we have on the team? Well, 00:21:08.750 --> 00:21:10.569 you have Francis Xavier, who was another Basque 00:21:10.569 --> 00:21:12.849 nobleman like Ignatius. You have Peter Faber, 00:21:12.869 --> 00:21:14.990 who was a sabayard from the French Alps. Then 00:21:14.990 --> 00:21:18.329 you have Alfonso Salmeron, Diego Lanas, and Nicolas 00:21:18.329 --> 00:21:20.849 Bobadilla, who were all Spaniards. And Simone 00:21:20.849 --> 00:21:23.490 Rodriguez, who was Portuguese. It's a multinational 00:21:23.490 --> 00:21:26.430 team, a European project. And Francis Xavier. 00:21:27.930 --> 00:21:31.230 He goes on to become a massive deal on his own 00:21:31.230 --> 00:21:33.549 right, a saint in his own right. A huge deal, 00:21:33.670 --> 00:21:35.829 one of the most prolific and famous missionaries 00:21:35.829 --> 00:21:38.789 in history. But interestingly... He didn't like 00:21:38.789 --> 00:21:41.710 Ignatius at first. Really? Not at all. Xavier 00:21:41.710 --> 00:21:45.349 was young, handsome, athletic, ambitious. He 00:21:45.349 --> 00:21:47.529 was everything Ignatius used to be. He looked 00:21:47.529 --> 00:21:50.910 at this older, limping, ragged student and thought 00:21:50.910 --> 00:21:52.690 he was an embarrassment. So how did Ignatius 00:21:52.690 --> 00:21:55.359 win him over? He used psychology. He didn't preach 00:21:55.359 --> 00:21:57.599 at him. He helped Xavier with his practical problems, 00:21:57.839 --> 00:22:01.059 finding him students to tutor for money. He praised 00:22:01.059 --> 00:22:03.440 his athletic ability. And then once he had his 00:22:03.440 --> 00:22:05.359 trust, he would just hit him with the question 00:22:05.359 --> 00:22:07.980 from the Gospels. What does it profit a man to 00:22:07.980 --> 00:22:10.500 gain the whole world and lose his soul? That's 00:22:10.500 --> 00:22:12.799 a heavy question to drop on your roommate. It 00:22:12.799 --> 00:22:15.559 worked. Eventually, the squad formed around Ignatius' 00:22:15.700 --> 00:22:18.000 spiritual direction. This is also where he changes 00:22:18.000 --> 00:22:21.039 his name, right? From the Basque Inigo to the 00:22:21.039 --> 00:22:24.640 more Latin Ignatius. Yes. He started using Ignatius 00:22:24.640 --> 00:22:27.500 consistently in Paris. It wasn't really a formal 00:22:27.500 --> 00:22:31.380 name change so much as a translation, a universalizing 00:22:31.380 --> 00:22:35.160 of his name. Ignatius was more recognizable and 00:22:35.160 --> 00:22:37.980 acceptable in the international academic worlds 00:22:37.980 --> 00:22:40.460 of France and Italy. He's branding. He's making 00:22:40.460 --> 00:22:42.660 his brand more accessible to a wider market. 00:22:42.779 --> 00:22:44.960 In a very practical sense, yes. And it works. 00:22:45.039 --> 00:22:47.920 This group of students, led by Ignatius, decides 00:22:47.920 --> 00:22:50.380 to formalize their bond to make a commitment 00:22:50.380 --> 00:22:54.269 together. This brings us to August 15. 1534. 00:22:54.269 --> 00:22:57.250 A very famous date. They go to the crypt of Saint 00:22:57.250 --> 00:22:59.349 -Denis in Montmartre, a little chapel on a hill 00:22:59.349 --> 00:23:01.730 outside Paris. A crucial moment. They meet in 00:23:01.730 --> 00:23:04.009 this small chapel, and a priest, Peter Faber, 00:23:04.109 --> 00:23:06.029 who was the only one ordained at the time, said 00:23:06.029 --> 00:23:08.529 mass, and then they all took solemn vows together. 00:23:08.710 --> 00:23:11.009 What were the vows? Poverty, chastity, and a 00:23:11.009 --> 00:23:13.230 vow to travel to the Holy Land. Standard monk 00:23:13.230 --> 00:23:16.210 stuff so far. Pretty standard. But later, when 00:23:16.210 --> 00:23:18.109 their clans to go to the Holy Land were blocked 00:23:18.109 --> 00:23:20.970 by war, they went to Rome to offer their services 00:23:20.970 --> 00:23:23.730 to the Pope. They officially formed the Society 00:23:23.730 --> 00:23:27.369 of Jesus the Jesuits in 1539 and got official 00:23:27.369 --> 00:23:30.930 approval from Pope Paul III in 1540. And that's 00:23:30.930 --> 00:23:32.549 when they added something unique. The fourth 00:23:32.549 --> 00:23:34.789 vow. The fourth vow. And this is what makes the 00:23:34.789 --> 00:23:37.930 Jesuits fundamentally different from, say, the 00:23:37.930 --> 00:23:40.609 Benedictines or the Franciscans. Okay, so let's 00:23:40.609 --> 00:23:43.049 unpack the fourth vow. What is it and why is 00:23:43.049 --> 00:23:45.950 it so important? Most religious orders take vows 00:23:45.950 --> 00:23:48.490 of poverty, chastity, and obedience to their 00:23:48.490 --> 00:23:51.589 superiors within the order. The Jesuits added 00:23:51.589 --> 00:23:54.549 a special fourth vow of obedience directly to 00:23:54.549 --> 00:23:57.170 the Pope, specifically regarding missions. Regarding 00:23:57.170 --> 00:23:59.410 missions. What does that mean in practice? It 00:23:59.410 --> 00:24:02.150 means they are, in essence, a papal rapid response 00:24:02.150 --> 00:24:05.190 force. If the Pope says, I need learned men to 00:24:05.190 --> 00:24:07.349 go debate Protestants in Germany, the Jesuit 00:24:07.349 --> 00:24:09.890 goes. If the Pope says, go to India and found 00:24:09.890 --> 00:24:12.450 a mission, the Jesuit goes. If he says, go to 00:24:12.450 --> 00:24:15.250 the New World, they go. So they aren't tied to 00:24:15.250 --> 00:24:17.799 a single monastery. Exactly. They aren't required 00:24:17.799 --> 00:24:19.819 to stay in one place and pray together in choir 00:24:19.819 --> 00:24:22.740 stalls every few hours like monks. They are designed 00:24:22.740 --> 00:24:25.359 to be mobile, adaptable, and ready to be deployed 00:24:25.359 --> 00:24:28.019 anywhere in the world at a moment's notice. This 00:24:28.019 --> 00:24:29.779 connects directly back to the military background, 00:24:29.920 --> 00:24:32.079 doesn't it? Ignatius is basically building a 00:24:32.079 --> 00:24:34.880 spiritual special ops team for the church. The 00:24:34.880 --> 00:24:37.940 military influence is undeniable. Ignatius was 00:24:37.940 --> 00:24:40.500 elected the first superior general of the order, 00:24:40.619 --> 00:24:43.339 and he emphasized this mobility and readiness. 00:24:43.579 --> 00:24:47.029 The motto they adopted sums it all up. Ad Maiorum 00:24:47.029 --> 00:24:50.009 Dei Gloriam. For the greater glory of God. And 00:24:50.009 --> 00:24:51.829 then there's that famous phrase he used in a 00:24:51.829 --> 00:24:53.869 letter to Francis Xavier, who was about to leave 00:24:53.869 --> 00:24:58.529 for Asia. Ait. Inflamate Omnia. Go set the world 00:24:58.529 --> 00:25:01.529 on fire. That is such a high energy slogan. It's 00:25:01.529 --> 00:25:04.349 not go pray quietly. It's set the world on fire. 00:25:04.490 --> 00:25:07.509 It implies action, energy, transformation. But, 00:25:07.509 --> 00:25:09.930 and here's the fascinating paradox of Ignatius 00:25:09.930 --> 00:25:12.670 and his spirituality, to achieve this high energy 00:25:12.670 --> 00:25:16.119 external... output, he demanded an internal discipline 00:25:16.119 --> 00:25:18.619 that he described with a very, very stark image. 00:25:18.880 --> 00:25:21.559 The corpse. The principle of perinde akadavr. 00:25:21.660 --> 00:25:25.500 Which means, as if a dead body. Yes. In the Jesuit 00:25:25.500 --> 00:25:28.420 Constitutions, which Ignatius spent years writing, 00:25:28.599 --> 00:25:32.019 he describes the ideal of obedience. A Jesuit 00:25:32.019 --> 00:25:34.200 should be like a corpse or a staff in an old 00:25:34.200 --> 00:25:36.500 man's hand. It can be moved anywhere without 00:25:36.500 --> 00:25:39.759 resistance. That sounds, well, a little creepy, 00:25:39.819 --> 00:25:43.319 to be honest. Be like a dead body. So passive. 00:25:43.539 --> 00:25:46.960 It sounds incredibly harsh to modern ears. But 00:25:46.960 --> 00:25:49.720 in his context, what he meant was a radical selflessness. 00:25:50.119 --> 00:25:53.019 A corpse has no ego. A corpse doesn't say, you 00:25:53.019 --> 00:25:54.779 know, I'd rather not go to India. It's too humid 00:25:54.779 --> 00:25:57.500 there. A corpse has no personal will that conflicts 00:25:57.500 --> 00:26:00.180 with the mission. He wanted his men to be completely 00:26:00.180 --> 00:26:02.920 available instruments of what he saw as divine 00:26:02.920 --> 00:26:05.940 providence. So on the outside, set the world 00:26:05.940 --> 00:26:08.720 on fire. But on the inside. Be as disciplined 00:26:08.720 --> 00:26:11.299 and ego -free as a corpse. Precisely. That tension 00:26:11.299 --> 00:26:13.519 between total active energy in the world and 00:26:13.519 --> 00:26:15.960 total passive obedience to the mission is the 00:26:15.960 --> 00:26:18.460 engine that drove the Jesuit order. Yeah. And 00:26:18.460 --> 00:26:19.980 it worked. It seems like it worked incredibly 00:26:19.980 --> 00:26:22.160 well. They spread like wildfire. They did. And 00:26:22.160 --> 00:26:24.700 they focused on two main things. Missionary work, 00:26:24.880 --> 00:26:26.799 sending people like Xavier to the ends of the 00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:29.220 earth, and education. All right. Education became 00:26:29.220 --> 00:26:31.380 their hallmark. Yeah. The source mentions they 00:26:31.380 --> 00:26:33.839 started opening colleges and seminaries all over 00:26:33.839 --> 00:26:37.019 Europe almost immediately. Yes. They became known 00:26:37.019 --> 00:26:40.079 as the schoolmasters of Europe. Ignatius had 00:26:40.079 --> 00:26:42.700 this insight that to influence society for the 00:26:42.700 --> 00:26:45.299 long term, you have to educate its future leaders. 00:26:45.500 --> 00:26:47.640 So they built this incredible network of schools. 00:26:47.759 --> 00:26:49.839 So Ignatius spends his final years in Rome. He's 00:26:49.839 --> 00:26:52.000 the general of this growing global army. He's 00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:54.019 writing the constitutions, managing it all from 00:26:54.019 --> 00:26:57.440 a small room. But the body of that punkish swordsman 00:26:57.440 --> 00:27:00.019 is finally starting to break down. His health 00:27:00.019 --> 00:27:03.319 failed pretty significantly by 1553. The sources 00:27:03.319 --> 00:27:06.019 talk about stomach ailments, fevers. He spent 00:27:06.019 --> 00:27:08.559 his last years in Rome managing this massive 00:27:08.559 --> 00:27:10.859 global network through thousands of letters, 00:27:11.019 --> 00:27:13.460 but he was in constant pain. He died on July 00:27:13.460 --> 00:27:16.920 31st, 1556. The source lists the official cause 00:27:16.920 --> 00:27:19.380 as Roman fever, which is a catch -all term for 00:27:19.380 --> 00:27:22.430 a type of severe malaria. But the autopsy, oh 00:27:22.430 --> 00:27:24.369 man, the autopsy report is something else. The 00:27:24.369 --> 00:27:26.910 autopsy is incredibly revealing. It was performed 00:27:26.910 --> 00:27:29.549 by a leading anatomist of the day named Mateo 00:27:29.549 --> 00:27:32.329 Colombo. And what he found inside Ignatius' body 00:27:32.329 --> 00:27:34.970 is just shocking. Read us the details. They're 00:27:34.970 --> 00:27:37.869 pretty graphic. Colombo wrote, I have taken out 00:27:37.869 --> 00:27:40.650 innumerable stones with my own hands. And he 00:27:40.650 --> 00:27:43.250 lists where he found them. Found in the kidneys, 00:27:43.509 --> 00:27:47.069 in the lungs, in the liver, and in the portal 00:27:47.069 --> 00:27:49.980 vein. Wait. Stones in the lungs and the portal 00:27:49.980 --> 00:27:52.140 vein? How is that even possible? And it gets 00:27:52.140 --> 00:27:55.500 worse. He also found stones in the gallbladder 00:27:55.500 --> 00:27:58.579 of various shapes and colors. Innumerable stones. 00:27:58.779 --> 00:28:02.230 The guy was basically a walking quarry. The modern 00:28:02.230 --> 00:28:05.549 medical speculation is that he had severe chronic 00:28:05.549 --> 00:28:08.150 nephrolithiasis, which is kidney stones, and 00:28:08.150 --> 00:28:10.750 cholelithiasis, which is gallstones. But the 00:28:10.750 --> 00:28:13.109 stones in the veins and liver suggest something 00:28:13.109 --> 00:28:16.150 more systemic, possibly even calcified tuberculosis 00:28:16.150 --> 00:28:19.630 or a malignant gastrointestinal growth. The pain 00:28:19.630 --> 00:28:22.359 must have been excruciating. unimaginable and 00:28:22.359 --> 00:28:24.519 that's the great irony i think we need to highlight 00:28:24.519 --> 00:28:26.920 here here is a man who taught thousands of people 00:28:26.920 --> 00:28:29.259 how to find mental and spiritual peace how to 00:28:29.259 --> 00:28:31.440 discern the movement of spirits how to find consolation 00:28:31.440 --> 00:28:34.099 in god and yet physically he was living in a 00:28:34.099 --> 00:28:37.019 state of absolute constant agony it adds another 00:28:37.019 --> 00:28:39.619 layer of toughness to him He wasn't just sitting 00:28:39.619 --> 00:28:42.500 in a garden meditating peacefully. He was grinding 00:28:42.500 --> 00:28:46.420 through crippling pain every single day to build 00:28:46.420 --> 00:28:48.259 this organization. And he worked until the very 00:28:48.259 --> 00:28:51.039 end. He died in Rome, his body was dressed in 00:28:51.039 --> 00:28:54.339 priestly robes, and he was buried. But his legacy, 00:28:54.440 --> 00:28:56.920 that cannonball effect, just kept expanding and 00:28:56.920 --> 00:28:59.220 expanding. Let's talk about that legacy for a 00:28:59.220 --> 00:29:01.279 minute. The most obvious thing is the universities. 00:29:01.539 --> 00:29:04.000 Oh, absolutely. Loyola University, Maryland. 00:29:04.240 --> 00:29:07.039 Loyola, Chicago. Loyola, New Orleans. Loyola, 00:29:07.039 --> 00:29:10.019 Marymount in L .A. The Ateneo Universities in 00:29:10.019 --> 00:29:12.779 the Philippines. Loyola College in Chennai, India. 00:29:12.940 --> 00:29:15.859 The name Loyola is synonymous with high -quality 00:29:15.859 --> 00:29:18.019 education all over the globe. And the shield. 00:29:18.279 --> 00:29:20.460 I never knew the story behind the Loyola family 00:29:20.460 --> 00:29:22.970 crest until I read the source. It's got wolves 00:29:22.970 --> 00:29:25.589 in a pot on it. It's the combined Onyas Loyola 00:29:25.589 --> 00:29:28.210 family crest. One side is for the Onyas family. 00:29:28.309 --> 00:29:31.210 It has seven maroon bars on a gold field representing 00:29:31.210 --> 00:29:33.630 bravery in battle. The other side is for the 00:29:33.630 --> 00:29:36.470 Loyola family. And that's the one with two rampant 00:29:36.470 --> 00:29:39.589 gray wolves flanking a cooking pot. Wolves in 00:29:39.589 --> 00:29:42.809 a pot. What on earth does that mean? It symbolizes 00:29:42.809 --> 00:29:45.960 generosity. The legend in the family was that 00:29:45.960 --> 00:29:48.640 the Loyolas were so generous, they always fed 00:29:48.640 --> 00:29:51.140 their soldiers and retainers so well that even 00:29:51.140 --> 00:29:53.279 the wolves had enough to feast on the leftovers 00:29:53.279 --> 00:29:55.420 from the cooking pot. That is a serious flex. 00:29:55.819 --> 00:29:58.900 We have so much food, even the local wolves are 00:29:58.900 --> 00:30:02.819 full. A classic medieval noble flex. And now 00:30:02.819 --> 00:30:05.660 that symbol is on university campuses all over 00:30:05.660 --> 00:30:07.779 the world, which is just incredible to think 00:30:07.779 --> 00:30:10.119 about. It really is. It's funny, looking back 00:30:10.119 --> 00:30:12.640 at the big themes we started with, we have the 00:30:12.640 --> 00:30:15.940 Basque bad boy. who just wants fame. He gets 00:30:15.940 --> 00:30:18.819 hit by a cannonball which shatters his leg and, 00:30:18.900 --> 00:30:21.480 more importantly, shatters his ego. He gets bored 00:30:21.480 --> 00:30:23.700 and accidentally discovers psychology. He lives 00:30:23.700 --> 00:30:25.819 in a cave and has visions. He goes back to school 00:30:25.819 --> 00:30:28.019 with 10 -year -olds. He builds an army of spiritual 00:30:28.019 --> 00:30:30.460 corpses and tells them to go set the world on 00:30:30.460 --> 00:30:34.039 fire. And he dies full of stones. It is a remarkable 00:30:34.039 --> 00:30:36.920 arc. It is the perfect story of the transformation 00:30:36.920 --> 00:30:39.680 of energy, the aggression of the soldier, that 00:30:39.680 --> 00:30:42.500 intense drive. It didn't go away. It was channeled. 00:30:42.500 --> 00:30:44.920 It was redirected. He stopped fighting for the 00:30:44.920 --> 00:30:47.519 Duke of Najra and started fighting for what he 00:30:47.519 --> 00:30:49.759 believed was the greater glory of God. And he's 00:30:49.759 --> 00:30:51.940 the patron saint of soldiers, which makes total 00:30:51.940 --> 00:30:54.380 sense. But the source also says he's the patron 00:30:54.380 --> 00:30:57.599 saint of. Accidents and injuries. Laughs. Yes. 00:30:58.400 --> 00:31:00.599 Given the whole cannonball incident, I think 00:31:00.599 --> 00:31:03.019 he earned that patronage, honestly. Absolutely. 00:31:03.440 --> 00:31:05.519 St. Ignatius, pray for me, I just stubbed my 00:31:05.519 --> 00:31:07.519 toe on the coffee table. Or St. Ignatius, pray 00:31:07.519 --> 00:31:09.819 for me, a cannonball just completely ruined my 00:31:09.819 --> 00:31:12.720 favorite pair of tight boots. Exactly. So what 00:31:12.720 --> 00:31:14.900 does this all mean for us, for you, listening? 00:31:15.299 --> 00:31:17.059 What's the takeaway? I think it has to come back 00:31:17.059 --> 00:31:19.099 to the cannonball, the randomness of it, the 00:31:19.099 --> 00:31:21.220 sheer chance. If that cannonball had been six 00:31:21.220 --> 00:31:24.019 inches to the left, it just misses him. It misses 00:31:24.019 --> 00:31:26.859 him. Inigo stays a soldier. He probably dies 00:31:26.859 --> 00:31:30.019 in some other pointless battle or grows old as 00:31:30.019 --> 00:31:32.599 a bitter, vanity -obsessed courtier telling rid 00:31:32.599 --> 00:31:34.799 of stories at the local tavern. And there are 00:31:34.799 --> 00:31:38.299 no Jesuits, no Loyola universities, no Pope Francis, 00:31:38.420 --> 00:31:41.000 who is the first Jesuit pope. History changes 00:31:41.000 --> 00:31:44.599 completely. But because of that one random, violent, 00:31:44.700 --> 00:31:47.799 painful moment, that shattering, he was forced 00:31:47.799 --> 00:31:50.819 to stop. He was forced to be still. He was forced 00:31:50.819 --> 00:31:53.660 to be bored. And in that silence, he was forced 00:31:53.660 --> 00:31:56.359 to look inward and found something entirely new. 00:31:56.519 --> 00:31:59.359 It's a powerful reminder that sometimes the worst 00:31:59.359 --> 00:32:01.240 thing that happens to you, the thing that breaks 00:32:01.240 --> 00:32:03.700 your leg and completely ruins your life's plans, 00:32:03.900 --> 00:32:06.099 might actually be the beginning of your real 00:32:06.099 --> 00:32:08.160 story. That is the lesson of his life, I think. 00:32:08.160 --> 00:32:10.599 The shattering is often the necessary prerequisite 00:32:10.599 --> 00:32:12.480 for the building. You have to be broken down 00:32:12.480 --> 00:32:14.500 before you can be built back up into something 00:32:14.500 --> 00:32:17.519 stronger. So here is our final thought for you 00:32:17.519 --> 00:32:19.700 to chew on today. We all have our plans. We all 00:32:19.700 --> 00:32:21.759 have our own version of tight boots that we want 00:32:21.759 --> 00:32:23.559 to look good in, the image we project to the 00:32:23.559 --> 00:32:26.380 world. But what is the cannonball moment in your 00:32:26.380 --> 00:32:29.279 life? What is the unexpected injury or failure 00:32:29.279 --> 00:32:32.619 or interruption that forced you to change direction? 00:32:33.099 --> 00:32:35.599 And did you fight it or did you use it like he 00:32:35.599 --> 00:32:38.359 did to find a new kind of discernment, a new 00:32:38.359 --> 00:32:41.200 way forward? Something to think about. Thanks 00:32:41.200 --> 00:32:43.680 for diving deep with us today. Until next time.