WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.339 Welcome back to the Deep Dive. Today we are taking 00:00:02.339 --> 00:00:04.799 on a figure who is, I think, maybe the great 00:00:04.799 --> 00:00:08.580 paradox of modern music, Kurt Cobain. He really 00:00:08.580 --> 00:00:11.660 is so incredibly vulnerable, yet he ends up becoming 00:00:11.660 --> 00:00:15.500 the completely unwilling voice for an entire 00:00:15.500 --> 00:00:17.820 generation. That's it, exactly. He was perpetually 00:00:17.820 --> 00:00:19.559 dissatisfied with that. It's fascinating because 00:00:19.559 --> 00:00:21.199 when you dig into the sources you've provided 00:00:21.199 --> 00:00:24.820 here, the story isn't just... you know, the simple 00:00:24.820 --> 00:00:27.379 rise and fall of a rock star. No, not at all. 00:00:27.480 --> 00:00:29.600 It's about a person who was constantly at war 00:00:29.600 --> 00:00:31.600 with the very platform he created for himself. 00:00:31.899 --> 00:00:34.420 So our goal today, I think, is to get past the 00:00:34.420 --> 00:00:37.719 flannel, past the surface level angst. Yeah, 00:00:37.740 --> 00:00:39.640 the whole grunge thing. Right, and really get 00:00:39.640 --> 00:00:44.479 into the complex identity, the surprising artistic 00:00:44.479 --> 00:00:47.880 influences, and that really fierce social conscience 00:00:47.880 --> 00:00:50.000 that actually made him who he was. That is the 00:00:50.000 --> 00:00:52.899 mission. We've got a fantastic stack of bi - 00:00:53.100 --> 00:00:56.140 interviews, articles, all detailing his life, 00:00:56.219 --> 00:00:58.219 his art, his struggles. We're going to try and 00:00:58.219 --> 00:01:00.799 pull out the essential and often contradictory 00:01:00.799 --> 00:01:03.460 insights. The moments that show you the real 00:01:03.460 --> 00:01:07.500 person. Exactly. Things like his deep love for 00:01:07.500 --> 00:01:10.599 the Beatles, which is so unexpected, or his whole 00:01:10.599 --> 00:01:13.760 gay in spirit identity. These are the details 00:01:13.760 --> 00:01:16.519 that start to peel back the layers on that reluctant 00:01:16.519 --> 00:01:18.920 rock god image. And just to ground us before 00:01:18.920 --> 00:01:22.200 we jump in, let's get the key facts down. Kurt 00:01:22.200 --> 00:01:26.180 Donald Cobain, born February 20, 1967, died around 00:01:26.180 --> 00:01:30.409 April 5, 1994. A very short but incredibly impactful 00:01:30.409 --> 00:01:33.609 life. Absolutely. Lead vocalist, guitarist, main 00:01:33.609 --> 00:01:36.670 songwriter for Nirvana. He was, I mean, a foundational 00:01:36.670 --> 00:01:39.150 figure in the Seattle grunge scene, and he's 00:01:39.150 --> 00:01:40.989 now seen as one of the most influential rock 00:01:40.989 --> 00:01:43.290 musicians ever. And, of course, posthumously 00:01:43.290 --> 00:01:45.069 inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 00:01:45.069 --> 00:01:48.650 in 2014 with Nirvana. Right. Okay, so let's unpack 00:01:48.650 --> 00:01:50.069 all of this. We have to start at the beginning, 00:01:50.230 --> 00:01:52.890 section one, the making of this, this anti -star. 00:01:53.230 --> 00:01:55.349 We have to look at his roots in Aberdeen, Washington, 00:01:55.530 --> 00:01:57.870 and the childhood trauma that really fundamentally 00:01:57.870 --> 00:02:00.170 just fractured his personality. You have to start 00:02:00.170 --> 00:02:02.010 there. He was born in Grays Harbor Hospital in 00:02:02.010 --> 00:02:05.450 Aberdeen in 67. And while he became this quintessential 00:02:05.450 --> 00:02:08.150 Pacific Northwest figure, his actual ancestry 00:02:08.150 --> 00:02:11.050 was incredibly diverse. Oh, really? Yeah. It 00:02:11.050 --> 00:02:13.689 was a mix of Dutch, English, French, German, 00:02:13.870 --> 00:02:17.810 Irish, and Scottish roots. The family name, Cobain. 00:02:18.400 --> 00:02:20.659 actually came from Irish ancestors. They were 00:02:20.659 --> 00:02:23.759 originally called Cobain. Cobain. Ulster Scots 00:02:23.759 --> 00:02:26.479 shoemakers who settled in Canada first before 00:02:26.479 --> 00:02:28.680 they ever made it to Washington state. And what's 00:02:28.680 --> 00:02:31.439 so interesting right from the start is that even 00:02:31.439 --> 00:02:35.020 his own family history was kind of subject to 00:02:35.020 --> 00:02:37.080 his own myth making, wasn't it? That's a crucial 00:02:37.080 --> 00:02:39.500 point, because even though that's the genealogy, 00:02:39.620 --> 00:02:42.409 Cobain. always believed, or at least he said 00:02:42.409 --> 00:02:44.650 he believed, his Irish ancestors came from County 00:02:44.650 --> 00:02:47.569 Cork. Which they didn't. No. It shows this early 00:02:47.569 --> 00:02:50.770 desire to connect with a very specific, maybe 00:02:50.770 --> 00:02:53.729 a more romanticized or melancholic idea of his 00:02:53.729 --> 00:02:55.430 heritage. And there was music in his family, 00:02:55.490 --> 00:02:57.729 right? It wasn't completely out of nowhere. No, 00:02:57.750 --> 00:03:00.169 the sources point to a definite musical lineage, 00:03:00.270 --> 00:03:02.189 though it was a bit distant. His maternal uncle 00:03:02.189 --> 00:03:04.610 was in a band called the Beachcombers, and his 00:03:04.610 --> 00:03:07.509 great uncle, Delbert, was an Irish tenor. He 00:03:07.509 --> 00:03:10.330 actually appeared in a 1930 film called King 00:03:10.330 --> 00:03:13.569 of Jazz. Wow. So, yeah, there is definitely something 00:03:13.569 --> 00:03:16.770 there, an artistic seed just waiting. But the 00:03:16.770 --> 00:03:18.969 real turning point, the thing that changed his 00:03:18.969 --> 00:03:21.129 personality forever, happened when he was only 00:03:21.129 --> 00:03:23.900 nine years old, his parents' divorce. He talked 00:03:23.900 --> 00:03:26.080 about it his entire life. He pointed to that 00:03:26.080 --> 00:03:29.780 exact moment as the genesis of all his misery. 00:03:29.939 --> 00:03:32.099 His mother noticed it immediately. She did. She 00:03:32.099 --> 00:03:34.139 said he went from being this happy, excitable 00:03:34.139 --> 00:03:37.539 kid to being defiant and totally withdrawn. And 00:03:37.539 --> 00:03:39.819 Cobain himself confirmed it in interviews later. 00:03:39.919 --> 00:03:43.300 He said he felt intensely ashamed. Ashamed of 00:03:43.300 --> 00:03:45.500 the divorce. Yeah, ashamed of his parents. Because 00:03:45.500 --> 00:03:48.639 all he wanted was what he called a typical family. 00:03:48.939 --> 00:03:51.860 He took the failure of their marriage. personally 00:03:51.860 --> 00:03:53.759 like it was a reflection on him. And what came 00:03:53.759 --> 00:03:55.939 next wasn't just, you know, a simple divorce. 00:03:56.199 --> 00:04:00.120 It was this period of intense emotional instability. 00:04:00.300 --> 00:04:03.120 Oh, it was chaos. The instability just spiraled. 00:04:03.120 --> 00:04:05.360 His father remarried very quickly, which could 00:04:05.360 --> 00:04:07.460 be deeply resented. He insisted, you know, this 00:04:07.460 --> 00:04:09.719 isn't my real family. And his mother's situation 00:04:09.719 --> 00:04:12.530 was also difficult. Very. She started dating 00:04:12.530 --> 00:04:14.870 a series of men and one of them was abusive. 00:04:15.469 --> 00:04:18.509 Cobain witnessed domestic violence. There was 00:04:18.509 --> 00:04:21.110 one incident that was so severe his mother ended 00:04:21.110 --> 00:04:23.069 up in the hospital with a broken arm. My God. 00:04:23.350 --> 00:04:25.250 So the result of all this was him just being 00:04:25.250 --> 00:04:27.889 shuttled around constantly between relatives, 00:04:28.250 --> 00:04:30.949 friends, houses. He was always being displaced. 00:04:31.230 --> 00:04:33.569 And that fueled this rebellious streak. It did. 00:04:33.649 --> 00:04:36.649 It turned into this open insolence toward any 00:04:36.649 --> 00:04:38.730 adult, really. He got labeled a troublemaker 00:04:38.730 --> 00:04:41.399 at school. And that defiance wasn't just emotional. 00:04:41.639 --> 00:04:44.699 I mean, the sources detail how he actively started 00:04:44.699 --> 00:04:48.639 rejecting the traditional masculine roles that 00:04:48.639 --> 00:04:50.420 were expected of him, especially with sports. 00:04:50.720 --> 00:04:52.839 It was a very conscious rejection of all of that. 00:04:52.920 --> 00:04:56.120 He hated organized sports. His dad insisted he 00:04:56.120 --> 00:04:58.060 join the wrestling team in junior high. And he 00:04:58.060 --> 00:04:59.560 was good at it, wasn't he? Apparently he was 00:04:59.560 --> 00:05:02.339 skilled. Yeah. But he hated the pressure, the 00:05:02.339 --> 00:05:04.220 ridicule, all of it. So he would deliberately 00:05:04.220 --> 00:05:06.639 let himself get pinned just to disappoint his 00:05:06.639 --> 00:05:08.699 father. Same thing with Little League. He'd intentionally. 00:05:08.839 --> 00:05:10.879 strike out just so he wouldn't have to play it 00:05:10.879 --> 00:05:13.180 was this act of self -sabotage that was really 00:05:13.180 --> 00:05:16.040 about refusing to conform and this is where that 00:05:16.040 --> 00:05:18.839 defiance starts to blend with his personal identity 00:05:18.839 --> 00:05:22.740 and his reaction to how other people judged him 00:05:22.740 --> 00:05:25.600 it really becomes a template for his later activism 00:05:25.600 --> 00:05:28.620 this is such a critical point for his whole worldview 00:05:29.389 --> 00:05:33.310 At school, he befriended a gay student. And immediately, 00:05:33.569 --> 00:05:35.930 the bullies just assumed that he must be gay 00:05:35.930 --> 00:05:38.310 too. And instead of denying it, he leaned into 00:05:38.310 --> 00:05:41.529 it. He said in an interview he liked being associated 00:05:41.529 --> 00:05:43.769 with a gay identity because he didn't like the 00:05:43.769 --> 00:05:46.209 people who were bullying him. He figured if they 00:05:46.209 --> 00:05:47.930 thought he was gay, they'd just leave him alone. 00:05:48.230 --> 00:05:51.509 Used it as a shield. A proud shield, yeah. It's 00:05:51.509 --> 00:05:54.509 a remarkable act of defiance. He even said he 00:05:54.509 --> 00:05:56.550 was really proud of the fact that I was gay, 00:05:56.629 --> 00:05:58.889 even though I wasn't. That idea of being gay 00:05:58.889 --> 00:06:01.569 in Siberia stuck with him, didn't it? Absolutely. 00:06:01.810 --> 00:06:04.009 He wrote in his journals, I am not gay, although 00:06:04.009 --> 00:06:06.970 I wish I were, just to piss off homophobes. For 00:06:06.970 --> 00:06:08.750 him, it wasn't really about sexual orientation. 00:06:08.870 --> 00:06:11.490 It was about rejecting cultural norms and standing 00:06:11.490 --> 00:06:14.329 with anyone who was marginalized. He was fiercely 00:06:14.329 --> 00:06:16.829 anti -homophobia his whole life. Fiercely. He 00:06:16.829 --> 00:06:20.050 was actively advocating for LGBTQ plus rights. 00:06:20.329 --> 00:06:23.449 He even played a benefit concert to oppose Oregon's 00:06:23.449 --> 00:06:26.129 ballot measure nine back in 92. What was that? 00:06:26.290 --> 00:06:29.029 It was this horrible measure that aimed to have 00:06:29.029 --> 00:06:31.850 schools teach that. homosexuality was, and I'm 00:06:31.850 --> 00:06:34.970 quoting here, abnormal, wrong, unnatural, and 00:06:34.970 --> 00:06:38.230 perverse. So for him, this wasn't some late in 00:06:38.230 --> 00:06:40.829 life political stance. It was an identity statement 00:06:40.829 --> 00:06:43.129 that was forged in those early experiences of 00:06:43.129 --> 00:06:45.889 being persecuted just by association. Which is 00:06:45.889 --> 00:06:48.050 why when you look at those early police records, 00:06:48.110 --> 00:06:50.680 the ones about the graffiti. It's just such a 00:06:50.680 --> 00:06:53.220 perfect example of his self -mythologizing. It 00:06:53.220 --> 00:06:55.860 really is. So Cobain always claimed in interviews 00:06:55.860 --> 00:06:58.300 that he got arrested for spray painting God is 00:06:58.300 --> 00:07:01.220 gay on pickup trucks, a really defiant, iconic 00:07:01.220 --> 00:07:03.199 phrase. But that's not what the police records 00:07:03.199 --> 00:07:06.100 say. Not exactly. The actual police records show 00:07:06.100 --> 00:07:09.120 he was arrested for spray painting. Ain't got 00:07:09.120 --> 00:07:11.680 no how watchamacallit. That's very different. 00:07:11.920 --> 00:07:14.560 It's still anti -establishment, but it's not 00:07:14.560 --> 00:07:17.379 the same statement. The discrepancy really shows 00:07:17.379 --> 00:07:20.560 you how he edited his own past. He always chose 00:07:20.560 --> 00:07:23.040 the version that had the most shock value, the 00:07:23.040 --> 00:07:25.459 strongest political statement. That rebellion 00:07:25.459 --> 00:07:27.199 eventually leads to him dropping out of high 00:07:27.199 --> 00:07:29.480 school, right? Just a few weeks before graduation. 00:07:29.819 --> 00:07:31.839 That was the final break. He didn't have enough 00:07:31.839 --> 00:07:34.519 credits to graduate. His mother gave him an ultimatum. 00:07:34.779 --> 00:07:37.160 Get a job or get out. And he didn't get a job. 00:07:37.399 --> 00:07:40.920 Nope. So she packed his things in boxes. He felt 00:07:40.920 --> 00:07:43.319 totally banished. And this is where that famous, 00:07:43.420 --> 00:07:46.180 very romanticized story of his poverty begins. 00:07:46.360 --> 00:07:48.939 The story that he lived under a bridge over the 00:07:48.939 --> 00:07:51.879 Wischka River. Which he later used as the inspiration 00:07:51.879 --> 00:07:55.420 for Something in the Way. Exactly. But just like 00:07:55.420 --> 00:07:57.779 the graffiti story, there's a strong element 00:07:57.779 --> 00:08:00.639 of revisionism here. Which the people closest 00:08:00.639 --> 00:08:02.839 to him have confirmed. And that's where you have 00:08:02.839 --> 00:08:05.379 to be really sharp with the analysis. His own 00:08:05.379 --> 00:08:07.740 bandmate, Chris Novoselic, corrected that story. 00:08:07.980 --> 00:08:10.550 He said, you know. Kurt definitely hung out there. 00:08:10.610 --> 00:08:13.050 It was a symbolic refuge for him. But he didn't 00:08:13.050 --> 00:08:15.709 live there. No. Novoselic said, you couldn't 00:08:15.709 --> 00:08:17.829 live on those muddy banks with the tides coming 00:08:17.829 --> 00:08:19.970 up and down. That was his own revisionism. But 00:08:19.970 --> 00:08:22.689 the feeling was real. That's the key. Whether 00:08:22.689 --> 00:08:25.550 he physically slept there or not, the emotional 00:08:25.550 --> 00:08:28.269 reality of being displaced, of being homeless 00:08:28.269 --> 00:08:32.769 and struggling, that was profoundly real. And 00:08:32.769 --> 00:08:35.409 it fed directly into his art. It was during this 00:08:35.409 --> 00:08:38.129 really chaotic time, though, that he found the 00:08:38.129 --> 00:08:41.289 one thing that would change everything. Punk 00:08:41.289 --> 00:08:43.950 rock. Yeah. He connected with Buzz Osborne from 00:08:43.950 --> 00:08:46.230 the Melvins. They met in art and electronics 00:08:46.230 --> 00:08:49.690 classes. And Buzz was his guide, basically. He 00:08:49.690 --> 00:08:51.649 lent him records, punk magazines like Cream. 00:08:51.929 --> 00:08:53.909 Colbain had his own version of his first concert, 00:08:53.970 --> 00:08:56.409 too, didn't he? He did. He claimed his first 00:08:56.409 --> 00:08:59.289 show was the Melvins playing for free outside 00:08:59.289 --> 00:09:02.590 a thriftway, plugged into the city's power. But 00:09:02.590 --> 00:09:05.000 his family remembered it differently. Some family 00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:07.899 members recalled it being a much more conventional 00:09:07.899 --> 00:09:11.080 arena rock show. Sammy Hagar and Quarter Flash 00:09:11.080 --> 00:09:14.860 in Seattle in 1983. But for Cobain, the real 00:09:14.860 --> 00:09:17.740 conversion moment was punk. He said he just abandoned 00:09:17.740 --> 00:09:19.759 his old friends, got a spike haircut, and was 00:09:19.759 --> 00:09:22.759 instantly a punk rocker. That total immersion. 00:09:23.039 --> 00:09:25.659 It showed his capacity for these intense, all 00:09:25.659 --> 00:09:28.340 -consuming passions. And that intensity leads 00:09:28.340 --> 00:09:31.279 us right into section two, building nirvana. 00:09:32.169 --> 00:09:36.649 The career, the artistry, and that profound discomfort 00:09:36.649 --> 00:09:39.210 he had with becoming this reluctant spokesman. 00:09:39.289 --> 00:09:41.669 And it all starts with one simple tool. On his 00:09:41.669 --> 00:09:44.909 14th birthday, his uncle gave him a choice. A 00:09:44.909 --> 00:09:47.250 bike or a used guitar. And he chose the guitar. 00:09:47.429 --> 00:09:49.049 He chose the guitar. And it's interesting, he 00:09:49.049 --> 00:09:51.289 was naturally left -handed, but teachers had 00:09:51.289 --> 00:09:53.049 forced him to write right -handed. It's like 00:09:53.049 --> 00:09:55.909 an early physical manifestation of all the contradictions 00:09:55.909 --> 00:09:57.850 that would define his life. So he starts forming 00:09:57.850 --> 00:09:59.889 bands pretty quickly after that. Yeah, he formed 00:09:59.889 --> 00:10:02.610 a band called Fecal Matter in 1985 with Dale 00:10:02.610 --> 00:10:04.929 Crover from the Melvins on bass. But the real 00:10:04.929 --> 00:10:06.929 connection, the lasting one, happened at the 00:10:06.929 --> 00:10:09.210 Melvins practice space. That's where he met Chris 00:10:09.210 --> 00:10:11.169 Novoselic. And he had to convince him, right? 00:10:11.190 --> 00:10:13.389 It wasn't an immediate thing. Oh, he was persistent. 00:10:13.529 --> 00:10:16.409 He kept giving Nova Silic a Fecal Matter demo 00:10:16.409 --> 00:10:19.230 tape until Kreest finally gave in and agreed 00:10:19.230 --> 00:10:21.250 to start a band. They went through a few drummers. 00:10:21.370 --> 00:10:24.710 A few. Aaron Burkhardt was first, then Chad Channing, 00:10:24.710 --> 00:10:27.330 who played on their first album, Bleach. But 00:10:27.330 --> 00:10:29.850 the lineup wasn't complete, not really, until 00:10:29.850 --> 00:10:33.750 Dave Grohl joined to record Nevermind. That was 00:10:33.750 --> 00:10:36.190 the powerhouse trio. And the rest is, as they 00:10:36.190 --> 00:10:39.690 say, pop culture history. But it's a history 00:10:39.690 --> 00:10:42.470 that Cobain was actively fighting against almost 00:10:42.470 --> 00:10:44.450 from the moment it started. Nevermind success, 00:10:44.950 --> 00:10:47.350 driven by Smells Like Teen Spirit, wasn't just 00:10:47.350 --> 00:10:49.570 big. It was, I mean, it was seismic. It changed 00:10:49.570 --> 00:10:52.870 everything. It did. They sold over 75 million 00:10:52.870 --> 00:10:55.769 albums worldwide. It just shattered the dominance 00:10:55.769 --> 00:10:58.190 of 80s hair metal and launched grunge into the 00:10:58.190 --> 00:11:00.450 mainstream. And that opened the door for all 00:11:00.450 --> 00:11:02.889 these other Seattle bands like Alice in Chains, 00:11:03.049 --> 00:11:06.990 Pearl Jam. And right there is where the central 00:11:06.990 --> 00:11:10.210 contradiction of his life just explodes. He goes 00:11:10.210 --> 00:11:12.350 from being this underground artist to being, 00:11:12.429 --> 00:11:15.309 as the media put it, reluctantly anointed as 00:11:15.309 --> 00:11:18.090 the flagship band of Generation X's spokesman. 00:11:18.350 --> 00:11:21.250 And that title, spokesman of a generation, was 00:11:21.250 --> 00:11:23.929 something he just vehemently resented. He felt 00:11:23.929 --> 00:11:26.789 that his message, his whole anti -commercial 00:11:26.789 --> 00:11:30.590 artistic point, was being completely and grossly 00:11:30.590 --> 00:11:33.370 misinterpreted by this new mass audience. He 00:11:33.370 --> 00:11:36.330 saw fame as a trap. A total trap. He couldn't 00:11:36.330 --> 00:11:39.090 reconcile the massive success of Nirvana with 00:11:39.090 --> 00:11:42.169 his own fiercely held punk rock roots. And he 00:11:42.169 --> 00:11:45.480 experienced this as a deep... personal violation. 00:11:45.860 --> 00:11:48.120 He even connected it back to some of those earlier 00:11:48.120 --> 00:11:50.240 traumas we talked about. That's the psychological 00:11:50.240 --> 00:11:52.700 link. He started comparing the media scrutiny, 00:11:52.919 --> 00:11:55.519 the invasion of his privacy, to the tragic story 00:11:55.519 --> 00:11:58.039 of the actress Frances Farmer. Who he deeply 00:11:58.039 --> 00:12:00.759 identified with. Deeply. He saw her as another 00:12:00.759 --> 00:12:03.480 artistic person who was persecuted by the establishment. 00:12:03.820 --> 00:12:06.159 And he had this famous quote just railing against 00:12:06.159 --> 00:12:08.500 the press. He said, When you're in the public 00:12:08.500 --> 00:12:10.480 eye, you have no choice but to be raped over 00:12:10.480 --> 00:12:12.399 and over again. They'll take every ounce of blood 00:12:12.399 --> 00:12:15.120 out of you until you're exhausted. Wow. The resentment 00:12:15.120 --> 00:12:17.580 was just so deep because he felt his political 00:12:17.580 --> 00:12:19.799 views, his social views were either being ignored 00:12:19.799 --> 00:12:23.019 or even worse, just commercialized. So if he 00:12:23.019 --> 00:12:26.460 hated how people interpreted his meaning, let's 00:12:26.460 --> 00:12:28.940 look at how he actually built his art. What was 00:12:28.940 --> 00:12:31.460 his songwriting process like? What did he prioritize? 00:12:32.200 --> 00:12:34.759 According to Dave Grohl, Cobain always put the 00:12:34.759 --> 00:12:37.700 music first and the lyrics second. He was obsessed 00:12:37.700 --> 00:12:40.360 with melody. The visceral impact of the sound 00:12:40.360 --> 00:12:42.860 was what mattered most. He got annoyed with people 00:12:42.860 --> 00:12:45.159 dissecting his lyrics. He did. He complained 00:12:45.159 --> 00:12:48.000 all the time about journalists trying to analyze 00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:50.539 lyrics that were often intentionally vague or 00:12:50.539 --> 00:12:52.440 contradictory, and they were always getting them 00:12:52.440 --> 00:12:55.340 wrong anyway. He called his own lyrics a big 00:12:55.340 --> 00:12:57.659 pile of contradictions. He had a mix of sincerity. 00:12:58.320 --> 00:13:02.100 And what he called humorous rebuttals toward 00:13:02.100 --> 00:13:04.960 cliche bohemian ideals. It was a collage. It 00:13:04.960 --> 00:13:07.120 wasn't linear storytelling at all. Not at all. 00:13:07.179 --> 00:13:10.100 He even had this idea for never mind to be split 00:13:10.100 --> 00:13:13.220 into a boy side with songs about his early life 00:13:13.220 --> 00:13:15.700 and a girl side with songs about his relationships, 00:13:15.899 --> 00:13:19.419 particularly with Toby Vail. He was always thinking 00:13:19.419 --> 00:13:22.179 in dualities. OK, let's drill down into some 00:13:22.179 --> 00:13:24.179 of the specific lyrical inspirations because 00:13:24.179 --> 00:13:26.980 some of them are so surprising. Let's start with 00:13:26.980 --> 00:13:30.019 a track from Bleach that has this hidden pop 00:13:30.019 --> 00:13:33.100 influence. About a girl. It's the perfect example 00:13:33.100 --> 00:13:36.039 of this duality. He wrote that song after spending 00:13:36.039 --> 00:13:38.360 three hours straight just listening to Meet the 00:13:38.360 --> 00:13:41.120 Beatles over and over. Three hours. Three hours. 00:13:41.159 --> 00:13:43.580 So it's fundamentally a pop song. But the subject 00:13:43.580 --> 00:13:46.399 matter is so mundane. It's about his girlfriend 00:13:46.399 --> 00:13:49.360 at the time, Tracy Miranda, nagging him to get 00:13:49.360 --> 00:13:51.559 a job and help pay the bills. So you have this 00:13:51.559 --> 00:13:54.659 sweet Beatles melody paired with this like desperate 00:13:54.659 --> 00:13:57.639 real life. situation exactly and that Beatles 00:13:57.639 --> 00:14:00.039 connection that's a current that just runs through 00:14:00.039 --> 00:14:02.279 his entire career even when it's buried under 00:14:02.279 --> 00:14:05.200 layers of distortion and noise okay so then you 00:14:05.200 --> 00:14:07.980 have a track like aneurysm which is driven by 00:14:07.980 --> 00:14:10.940 something totally different pure anxiety pure 00:14:10.940 --> 00:14:13.639 physical and emotional distress that song was 00:14:13.639 --> 00:14:17.240 inspired by Toby Vail he was so completely overwhelmed 00:14:17.240 --> 00:14:19.759 by his infatuation with her and the anxiety it 00:14:19.759 --> 00:14:22.740 caused that he actually threw up which led to 00:14:22.740 --> 00:14:25.220 the lyric Love you so much, it makes me sick. 00:14:25.379 --> 00:14:28.779 It's just art born from this visceral, physical 00:14:28.779 --> 00:14:31.360 reaction. And then there's Polly, which takes 00:14:31.360 --> 00:14:34.679 this incredibly dark, real -world horror story 00:14:34.679 --> 00:14:37.419 and filters it through his music. Yeah, Polly 00:14:37.419 --> 00:14:40.080 from Nevermind. It was inspired by a newspaper 00:14:40.080 --> 00:14:43.120 story from 1987 about a 14 year old girl who 00:14:43.120 --> 00:14:45.559 was kidnapped, raped and tortured. Just horrific. 00:14:45.759 --> 00:14:48.200 Horrific. But she managed to escape by using 00:14:48.200 --> 00:14:50.940 her wits, by flirting with her captor and gaining 00:14:50.940 --> 00:14:54.159 his trust. And what's incredible is the respect 00:14:54.159 --> 00:14:56.460 that song got. even from people you wouldn't 00:14:56.460 --> 00:14:59.299 expect. Like Bob Dylan? Bob Dylan. He heard Nirvana 00:14:59.299 --> 00:15:02.120 play, and he specifically pointed to Polly as 00:15:02.120 --> 00:15:04.539 their best song. He said, the kid has heart. 00:15:04.840 --> 00:15:07.440 That's incredible validation from a master lyricist. 00:15:07.580 --> 00:15:09.659 It really is. It shows Cobain's ability to handle 00:15:09.659 --> 00:15:12.220 this really dark subject matter with genuine 00:15:12.220 --> 00:15:14.399 empathy and emotional weight. That connection 00:15:14.399 --> 00:15:16.559 between, I guess, the gruesome and the melodic 00:15:16.559 --> 00:15:19.220 is also there in his literary influences, like 00:15:19.220 --> 00:15:21.960 the inspiration for Scentless Apprentice. Yeah, 00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:24.750 that's from In Utero, a much rer album. That 00:15:24.750 --> 00:15:27.409 song was directly inspired by the novel Perfume, 00:15:27.429 --> 00:15:30.429 the story of a murderer by Patrick Suskind. What's 00:15:30.429 --> 00:15:33.269 that about? It's about a man in 18th century 00:15:33.269 --> 00:15:36.389 France who was born with no personal scent, but 00:15:36.389 --> 00:15:39.289 he has a superhuman sense of smell. And he becomes 00:15:39.289 --> 00:15:41.429 obsessed with capturing the scent of young women, 00:15:41.529 --> 00:15:44.110 so he murders them to try and create the ultimate 00:15:44.110 --> 00:15:47.210 perfume. Wow. It just shows you how immersed 00:15:47.210 --> 00:15:51.090 he was in this kind of macabre humor, this dark 00:15:51.090 --> 00:15:53.850 exploration of human nature. He was always filtering 00:15:53.850 --> 00:15:57.049 obsession and violence through his art. So when 00:15:57.049 --> 00:15:58.950 you pull back and look at all his musical influences 00:15:58.950 --> 00:16:01.230 together, you see that same contradiction. You've 00:16:01.230 --> 00:16:03.610 got the polished pop of the Beatles sitting right 00:16:03.610 --> 00:16:05.710 next to the raw aggression of punk rock. It's 00:16:05.710 --> 00:16:08.190 a beautiful mess, really. The Beatles, especially 00:16:08.190 --> 00:16:11.549 John Lennon, who he called his idol in his journals, 00:16:11.669 --> 00:16:13.809 they gave him the melodic blueprint. But he also 00:16:13.809 --> 00:16:16.610 had a secret love for 70s hard rock. A paradoxical 00:16:16.610 --> 00:16:20.549 fan, for sure. Led Zeppelin, ACDC, Black Sabbath. 00:16:21.279 --> 00:16:24.779 Even Queen. The sources talk about how he would 00:16:24.779 --> 00:16:27.779 listen to Queen constantly in the tour van. Sometimes 00:16:27.779 --> 00:16:30.320 he'd drain the van's battery just listening to 00:16:30.320 --> 00:16:32.519 their tapes while he was napping. It shows this 00:16:32.519 --> 00:16:36.120 secret appreciation for that huge, complex stadium 00:16:36.120 --> 00:16:39.559 sound that he publicly claimed to hate. But the 00:16:39.559 --> 00:16:41.659 crucial shift, the thing that really defined 00:16:41.659 --> 00:16:44.460 the early Nirvana sound, came from the punk and 00:16:44.460 --> 00:16:47.039 hardcore scenes. That's where he found his energy, 00:16:47.179 --> 00:16:50.559 his edge. Buzz Osborne introduced him to bands 00:16:50.559 --> 00:16:53.440 like Black Flag, Flipper, and of course, the 00:16:53.440 --> 00:16:55.659 Melvins. And he was obsessed with the Melvins. 00:16:55.659 --> 00:16:58.039 He attended hundreds of their rehearsals. It 00:16:58.039 --> 00:17:00.539 was like a masterclass for him. He even confessed 00:17:00.539 --> 00:17:02.700 in an early interview that Nirvana's biggest 00:17:02.700 --> 00:17:05.680 fear was just being seen as a Melvins ripoff. 00:17:06.000 --> 00:17:08.119 That's how much they influenced him. But the 00:17:08.119 --> 00:17:10.599 real game changer, this specific influence that 00:17:10.599 --> 00:17:12.660 really gave birth to the sound of Nevermind, 00:17:12.720 --> 00:17:15.970 was the Pixies. This is absolutely instrumental 00:17:15.970 --> 00:17:18.730 to understanding the Nirvana sound. Cobain said 00:17:18.730 --> 00:17:21.049 that when he heard the Pixies' first album, Surfer 00:17:21.049 --> 00:17:23.509 Rosa, it convinced him to completely abandon 00:17:23.509 --> 00:17:26.390 those aggressive, linear, Black Flag -style songs. 00:17:26.609 --> 00:17:28.990 And instead, he adopted their dynamic. The loud, 00:17:29.029 --> 00:17:32.569 quiet, loud dynamic. That became the formula 00:17:32.569 --> 00:17:35.289 for Never Sing. Let's just break that down for 00:17:35.289 --> 00:17:37.509 a second. What is it about that dynamic that's 00:17:37.509 --> 00:17:40.349 so compelling? It works on pure psychological 00:17:40.349 --> 00:17:43.869 and musical tension. You start with a quiet verse, 00:17:44.130 --> 00:17:45.970 something intimate, maybe a little distorted, 00:17:46.089 --> 00:17:49.210 that conveys vulnerability or resignation. The 00:17:49.210 --> 00:17:52.069 quiet part. Right. And then suddenly the chorus 00:17:52.069 --> 00:17:55.309 just erupts. The volume, the distortion, the 00:17:55.309 --> 00:17:59.460 screaming. it's a sonic explosion it mimics a 00:17:59.460 --> 00:18:02.259 rapid emotional shift like going from passive 00:18:02.259 --> 00:18:05.339 aggression to pure rage in a split second and 00:18:05.339 --> 00:18:07.480 he admitted it was a direct lift oh yeah he flat 00:18:07.480 --> 00:18:09.660 out said smells like teen spirit was his attempt 00:18:09.660 --> 00:18:12.440 to rip off the pixies he just mastered their 00:18:12.440 --> 00:18:15.099 art of the sudden shocking shift in volume so 00:18:15.099 --> 00:18:17.119 if the pixies influence his commercial sound 00:18:17.119 --> 00:18:19.519 lead belly seems to have influenced his artistic 00:18:19.519 --> 00:18:22.440 soul especially later on. Yeah, his discovery 00:18:22.440 --> 00:18:24.839 of American folk and blues was so significant 00:18:24.839 --> 00:18:27.440 for his later work. He got devoted to Lead Belly 00:18:27.440 --> 00:18:29.700 after the beat poet William S. Burroughs recommended 00:18:29.700 --> 00:18:32.099 him. Burroughs told him to listen to Lead Belly. 00:18:32.119 --> 00:18:34.920 He did. With that classic Burroughs cynicism, 00:18:35.059 --> 00:18:38.000 he told him, these new rock and roll kids should 00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:40.299 just throw away their guitars and listen to something 00:18:40.299 --> 00:18:43.990 with real soul, like Lead Belly. And Cobain took 00:18:43.990 --> 00:18:46.369 that to heart. He really did. He found the records 00:18:46.369 --> 00:18:48.730 and just fell in love. He said Lead Belly was 00:18:48.730 --> 00:18:51.049 his absolute favorite of all time and that he 00:18:51.049 --> 00:18:53.369 loved it more than any rock and roll I ever heard. 00:18:53.509 --> 00:18:56.109 And that passion leads directly to one of the 00:18:56.109 --> 00:18:58.609 most famous performances of his entire career. 00:18:58.890 --> 00:19:02.880 The MTV Unplugged Show. His deep dive into Lead 00:19:02.880 --> 00:19:05.819 Belly is what led to that iconic haunting cover 00:19:05.819 --> 00:19:08.380 of Where Did You Sleep Last Night, which closed 00:19:08.380 --> 00:19:11.680 the show. It just captured that raw acoustic 00:19:11.680 --> 00:19:13.900 soul that he had come to cherish. And speaking 00:19:13.900 --> 00:19:16.740 of that later career introspection, his friendship 00:19:16.740 --> 00:19:19.480 with R .E .M.'s Michael Stipe gives us this incredible 00:19:19.480 --> 00:19:21.940 glimpse into what the future of Nirvana might 00:19:21.940 --> 00:19:24.119 have sounded like. This is probably one of the 00:19:24.119 --> 00:19:27.470 biggest what -ifs in music history. Michael Stipe, 00:19:27.549 --> 00:19:29.529 who's the godfather to Cobain's daughter, Frances 00:19:29.529 --> 00:19:31.990 Bean, he confirmed that Cobain was planning this 00:19:31.990 --> 00:19:34.789 dramatic shift away from the loud grunge sound. 00:19:34.930 --> 00:19:37.170 What did he have in mind? Cobain himself said 00:19:37.170 --> 00:19:40.990 the next Nirvana album would be pretty ethereal, 00:19:41.029 --> 00:19:44.369 acoustic, like R .E .M.'s last album. Uh -huh. 00:19:44.450 --> 00:19:46.250 He was talking about Automatic for the People. 00:19:46.450 --> 00:19:48.750 Which is very melancholic, lots of strings. Exactly. 00:19:48.750 --> 00:19:51.190 It was a conscious rejection of the Nevermind 00:19:51.190 --> 00:19:53.769 formula that had made him a superstar. So what 00:19:53.769 --> 00:19:56.250 was he trying to achieve with that? Stipe said 00:19:56.250 --> 00:19:59.009 that Cobain had this whole plan for a trial run 00:19:59.009 --> 00:20:01.849 of a quiet acoustic album with a lot of string 00:20:01.849 --> 00:20:04.829 instruments. He was searching for a kind of emotional 00:20:04.829 --> 00:20:07.589 intimacy and complexity that the abrasive sound 00:20:07.589 --> 00:20:09.930 of grunge just couldn't provide anymore. And 00:20:09.930 --> 00:20:11.960 he was supposed to work with Stipe on it. He 00:20:11.960 --> 00:20:13.920 was scheduled to fly out and start working on 00:20:13.920 --> 00:20:16.220 demos with him. Stipe said he thought it would 00:20:16.220 --> 00:20:18.980 have been an amazing fucking record. Right. But 00:20:18.980 --> 00:20:21.319 Cobain canceled at the last minute. It's just 00:20:21.319 --> 00:20:23.519 tragic to think about. He was actively planning 00:20:23.519 --> 00:20:27.200 a post -grunge evolution. The idea of him abandoning 00:20:27.200 --> 00:20:29.299 the loud part of his dynamic and just living 00:20:29.299 --> 00:20:32.319 in that vulnerable, quiet space is profound. 00:20:33.359 --> 00:20:35.200 Okay, let's move to section three, the tools 00:20:35.200 --> 00:20:37.880 of the trade. And this ties right back into his 00:20:37.880 --> 00:20:40.720 anti -establishment punk ethos, even when he 00:20:40.720 --> 00:20:43.609 was a millionaire. It's so telling. His philosophy 00:20:43.609 --> 00:20:45.970 on his equipment never changed. He always had 00:20:45.970 --> 00:20:48.829 this strong preference for cheap gear, what he 00:20:48.829 --> 00:20:51.650 called pawn shop prizes. Junk is always best. 00:20:51.789 --> 00:20:54.630 That was his motto. But he also clarified it 00:20:54.630 --> 00:20:56.750 wasn't just a punk rock statement. He said it 00:20:56.750 --> 00:20:59.069 was partly a necessity because it was so hard 00:20:59.069 --> 00:21:02.210 to find good, high quality left handed guitars. 00:21:02.369 --> 00:21:05.349 So he had to rely on what was cheap and available. 00:21:05.630 --> 00:21:08.190 So necessity really did create the aesthetic. 00:21:08.410 --> 00:21:11.660 It did. His first electric guitar. was a cheap 00:21:11.660 --> 00:21:14.740 model from Sears. And later, in this classic 00:21:14.740 --> 00:21:17.720 act of defiance, he paid for new gear by selling 00:21:17.720 --> 00:21:20.180 his stepfather's gun collection. Wait, what? 00:21:20.559 --> 00:21:22.480 Yeah, his mother had found out her husband was 00:21:22.480 --> 00:21:24.420 cheating, so she dumped all his guns in a river. 00:21:24.720 --> 00:21:26.980 Kurt went and fished them out and sold them for 00:21:26.980 --> 00:21:29.099 music equipment. That's amazing. And for the 00:21:29.099 --> 00:21:31.680 Bleach album, he was using a right -handed Univox 00:21:31.680 --> 00:21:33.480 high flyer that he just flipped over to play 00:21:33.480 --> 00:21:35.759 left -handed. He was constantly going to pawn 00:21:35.759 --> 00:21:37.519 shops to replace the guitars he was smashing 00:21:37.519 --> 00:21:39.660 on stage every night. So what were some of those 00:21:39.660 --> 00:21:44.150 iconic... The list is so humble, considering 00:21:44.150 --> 00:21:46.890 his success. His first acoustic was a Stella 00:21:46.890 --> 00:21:52.109 12 -string that cost him $31 .21. The tuners 00:21:52.109 --> 00:21:54.150 were literally held together with duct tape. 00:21:54.490 --> 00:21:56.589 But that's the guitar he used to record Pauly 00:21:56.589 --> 00:21:58.890 and Something in the Way on Nevermind. And his 00:21:58.890 --> 00:22:02.150 favorite electric. The 1969 Competition Mustang. 00:22:02.309 --> 00:22:06.470 He loved it. He said with that classic self -deprecation, 00:22:06.509 --> 00:22:09.609 they're cheap and totally inefficient and they 00:22:09.609 --> 00:22:12.069 sound like crap and are very small. And the ultimate 00:22:12.069 --> 00:22:16.059 irony is how that. junk is best idea plays out 00:22:16.059 --> 00:22:18.519 decades later with these cheap instruments becoming 00:22:18.519 --> 00:22:21.359 priceless artifacts. The financial legacy is 00:22:21.359 --> 00:22:24.099 just staggering. It really highlights this cultural 00:22:24.099 --> 00:22:27.460 obsession with authenticity. That 1959 Martin 00:22:27.460 --> 00:22:30.059 D18E Acoustic, the one he used for the unplugged 00:22:30.059 --> 00:22:33.660 performance, it sold for over $6 million at auction 00:22:33.660 --> 00:22:35.900 in 2020. At the time, it was the most expensive 00:22:35.900 --> 00:22:38.339 guitar ever sold. Unbelievable. For a pawn shop 00:22:38.339 --> 00:22:41.079 prize. And even that competition Mustang from 00:22:41.079 --> 00:22:43.559 the Teen Spirit video sold for $4 .5 million. 00:22:43.599 --> 00:22:46.680 million in 2022, it just proves the value wasn't 00:22:46.680 --> 00:22:48.619 in the instrument's craftsmanship. It was in 00:22:48.619 --> 00:22:50.960 its connection to that raw anti -establishment 00:22:50.960 --> 00:22:53.900 spirit he had. So what pedals, what effects created 00:22:53.900 --> 00:22:56.599 that defining sound of the era? It was a pretty 00:22:56.599 --> 00:22:59.599 simple setup, actually. For distortion, he used 00:22:59.599 --> 00:23:02.220 a Boss DS -1 pedal. It was cheap, aggressive, 00:23:02.660 --> 00:23:05.440 straightforward. But the really distinctive texture, 00:23:05.640 --> 00:23:07.779 that swirling sound on Smells Like Teen Spirit 00:23:07.779 --> 00:23:10.359 and Come As You Are. The watery sound. That watery 00:23:10.359 --> 00:23:12.779 sound came from an electroharmonic small clone 00:23:12.779 --> 00:23:15.799 chorus pedal. And that combination, the cheap 00:23:15.799 --> 00:23:18.339 chorus pedal creating that melancholic, oqueous 00:23:18.339 --> 00:23:21.160 texture, and then the sudden blast of cheap distortion, 00:23:21.480 --> 00:23:24.599 that was the atmosphere of early 90s rock. And 00:23:24.599 --> 00:23:26.589 beyond Nirvana. he was always pursuing these 00:23:26.589 --> 00:23:29.990 side projects. It shows this real creative restlessness. 00:23:30.309 --> 00:23:32.950 These collaborations are so key to understanding 00:23:32.950 --> 00:23:35.890 him as an artist, not just a rock star. There 00:23:35.890 --> 00:23:38.410 are three really fascinating ones. First, The 00:23:38.410 --> 00:23:41.430 Jury, back in 1989. What was that? It was a side 00:23:41.430 --> 00:23:43.309 project with members of the Screaming Trees, 00:23:43.309 --> 00:23:45.849 and they focused almost entirely on covering 00:23:45.849 --> 00:23:49.069 lead belly songs, which just confirms how deep 00:23:49.069 --> 00:23:51.829 his interest in folk and blues was long before 00:23:51.829 --> 00:23:54.289 Nevermind. And his connection with Toby Vail 00:23:54.289 --> 00:23:56.670 from Bikini Kill led to a totally different sound. 00:23:56.829 --> 00:23:59.450 Yeah, that project was called Bathtub is Real 00:23:59.450 --> 00:24:03.230 in 1990. They recorded these minimal, quiet pop 00:24:03.230 --> 00:24:05.890 songs on her dad's four -track. Tape machine. 00:24:06.190 --> 00:24:08.890 Very lo -fi. Super lo -fi. A total return to 00:24:08.890 --> 00:24:12.349 that independent Olympia punk scene ethos. Vail 00:24:12.349 --> 00:24:14.710 herself said he was super inspiring and fun to 00:24:14.710 --> 00:24:16.809 play with, which shows you he found real joy 00:24:16.809 --> 00:24:19.210 in that kind of low stakes creative fun. But 00:24:19.210 --> 00:24:21.589 maybe the most surprising and I think psychologically 00:24:21.589 --> 00:24:24.690 deep collaboration was with the writer William 00:24:24.690 --> 00:24:27.609 S. Burroughs. Cobain saw Burroughs as a true 00:24:27.609 --> 00:24:30.089 hero, a kindred spirit who was obsessed with 00:24:30.089 --> 00:24:32.849 addiction, societal decay, self -destruction. 00:24:33.130 --> 00:24:36.420 So Cobain reached out to him. did in 1992. And 00:24:36.420 --> 00:24:38.220 Burroughs responded by sending him a recording 00:24:38.220 --> 00:24:40.119 of his spoken word piece, The Junkies Christmas. 00:24:40.720 --> 00:24:42.819 Cobain then layered his own music underneath 00:24:42.819 --> 00:24:45.619 it. What kind of music? He added this dissonant 00:24:45.619 --> 00:24:48.359 feedback drenched guitar part that was based 00:24:48.359 --> 00:24:51.460 on Silent Night. Silent Night for The Junkies 00:24:51.460 --> 00:24:54.319 Christmas. That's that's a perfect Cobain aesthetic. 00:24:54.680 --> 00:24:56.900 It really is. And their connection was real. 00:24:57.039 --> 00:25:00.339 They actually met in Kansas in late 1993, just 00:25:00.339 --> 00:25:03.240 a few months before Cobain died. Just shows that 00:25:03.240 --> 00:25:05.720 even at the height. of his fame, he was desperately 00:25:05.720 --> 00:25:08.359 seeking validation from people he saw as genuine 00:25:08.359 --> 00:25:11.319 cultural outsiders. Okay, let's shift now to 00:25:11.319 --> 00:25:14.460 section four. The chronic health problems, the 00:25:14.460 --> 00:25:17.200 addiction, and his passionate social advocacy. 00:25:17.440 --> 00:25:19.759 This really provides the psychological backdrop 00:25:19.759 --> 00:25:21.700 for everything else. Cobain was dealing with 00:25:21.700 --> 00:25:24.400 so many serious compounding health issues his 00:25:24.400 --> 00:25:27.240 whole life. He had chronic bronchitis, minor 00:25:27.240 --> 00:25:30.019 scoliosis. He was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid 00:25:30.019 --> 00:25:32.160 and put on Ritalin. He also mentioned narcolepsy 00:25:32.160 --> 00:25:34.180 and manic depression. He did in an interview. 00:25:34.299 --> 00:25:37.640 So you have these layers of genuine, often debilitating 00:25:37.640 --> 00:25:39.640 physical and psychological problems. But the 00:25:39.640 --> 00:25:42.220 one that seemed to cause him the most agony was... 00:25:42.220 --> 00:25:45.039 that chronic undiagnosed stomach condition. That 00:25:45.039 --> 00:25:47.759 abdominal pain was just debilitating. It profoundly 00:25:47.759 --> 00:25:50.859 affected his ability to tour. And Cobain himself 00:25:50.859 --> 00:25:53.400 connected it directly to his psychological state. 00:25:53.500 --> 00:25:56.640 He said, it's psychosomatic. It's all from anger 00:25:56.640 --> 00:26:00.819 and screaming. He truly believed his emotional 00:26:00.819 --> 00:26:04.160 turmoil was physically manifesting itself. And 00:26:04.160 --> 00:26:06.859 that link. The idea that the physical pain came 00:26:06.859 --> 00:26:10.440 from psychological agony is the key to understanding 00:26:10.440 --> 00:26:12.539 his history with substance use. It really is. 00:26:12.660 --> 00:26:15.079 His use of drugs and alcohol started young. He 00:26:15.079 --> 00:26:16.900 was drinking in seventh grade using cannabis 00:26:16.900 --> 00:26:19.900 by 13. He experimented with a lot of things on 00:26:19.900 --> 00:26:23.779 tour. But heroin was the decisive, tragic turn. 00:26:24.099 --> 00:26:26.619 When did that addiction really take hold and 00:26:26.619 --> 00:26:29.180 what was his justification for it? He first tried 00:26:29.180 --> 00:26:32.380 heroin in 1986, but by late 1991, it was a full 00:26:32.380 --> 00:26:34.420 -blown addiction. And his claim was always... 00:26:34.410 --> 00:26:36.190 that it was a form of radical self -medication 00:26:36.190 --> 00:26:38.009 for his stomach pain. That the heroin was the 00:26:38.009 --> 00:26:40.130 only thing that worked. He said the pain completely 00:26:40.130 --> 00:26:42.569 disappeared when he used it. He even said he 00:26:42.569 --> 00:26:44.849 was determined to get a habit just for the relief 00:26:44.849 --> 00:26:46.750 it gave him from that constant physical torment. 00:26:47.009 --> 00:26:49.529 But that narrative, the self -medication story 00:26:49.529 --> 00:26:52.880 is central. to his myth and his close friend 00:26:52.880 --> 00:26:55.880 buzz osborne had a very different much more cynical 00:26:55.880 --> 00:26:58.900 take on it and this is a critical conflict in 00:26:58.900 --> 00:27:01.680 the sources it really defines how you view cobain's 00:27:01.680 --> 00:27:04.640 suffering osborne basically disputed the whole 00:27:04.640 --> 00:27:07.269 self -medication claim what did he say He suggested 00:27:07.269 --> 00:27:09.309 that the stomach pain was often exaggerated, 00:27:09.589 --> 00:27:12.950 maybe even fabricated by Cobain as a way to get 00:27:12.950 --> 00:27:15.829 sympathy and have a ready -made excuse for his 00:27:15.829 --> 00:27:18.869 drug use. Wow. Osborne argued that the constant 00:27:18.869 --> 00:27:21.250 vomiting Cobain suffered from wasn't a symptom 00:27:21.250 --> 00:27:23.450 of a stomach problem. It was a common side effect 00:27:23.450 --> 00:27:26.369 of using heroin. He called it vomiting with a 00:27:26.369 --> 00:27:28.829 smile on your face. So we're left with two totally 00:27:28.829 --> 00:27:31.910 contradictory narratives. Genuine medical relief 00:27:31.910 --> 00:27:34.589 versus a calculated justification. We are. And 00:27:34.589 --> 00:27:36.829 it raises that essential question. Where does 00:27:36.829 --> 00:27:39.069 the art end and the addiction begin? Was he an 00:27:39.069 --> 00:27:41.809 addict rationalizing his habit? Or a man in deep 00:27:41.809 --> 00:27:44.009 suffering who found the only relief he could? 00:27:44.490 --> 00:27:46.910 Either way, the addiction led to these repeated, 00:27:47.069 --> 00:27:49.369 life -threatening health scares. Multiple near 00:27:49.369 --> 00:27:51.329 -death experiences that the public knew nothing 00:27:51.329 --> 00:27:54.170 about. Yeah, he had a near -death overdose in 00:27:54.170 --> 00:27:56.609 early 92, right after Nirvana played Saturday 00:27:56.609 --> 00:27:59.690 Night Live. Courtney Love managed to revive him. 00:28:00.029 --> 00:28:03.430 Then in July 93, before a show in New York, he 00:28:03.430 --> 00:28:05.750 overdosed again. And Love revived him again? 00:28:05.890 --> 00:28:08.309 She injected him with naloxone, the opioid reversal 00:28:08.309 --> 00:28:10.690 drug. He got up and played the show that night, 00:28:10.750 --> 00:28:12.849 and no one in the audience had any idea what 00:28:12.849 --> 00:28:15.049 had just happened. That's insane. The sources 00:28:15.049 --> 00:28:18.289 say that by early 1994, she had seen him close 00:28:18.289 --> 00:28:21.049 to death from heroin overdoses on more than a 00:28:21.049 --> 00:28:24.039 dozen times. And all of this chemical and psychological 00:28:24.039 --> 00:28:27.500 chaos was happening alongside his tumultuous 00:28:27.500 --> 00:28:29.759 relationship with Courtney Love and the birth 00:28:29.759 --> 00:28:32.289 of their daughter. Their wedding on Waikiki Beach 00:28:32.289 --> 00:28:35.750 in February 92 was just so them. It was chaotic, 00:28:35.890 --> 00:28:39.049 iconoclastic. Cobain wore green pajamas. And 00:28:39.049 --> 00:28:41.470 Love wore a dress that belonged to Frances Farmer. 00:28:41.549 --> 00:28:44.250 The tragic actress, yeah. It was a powerful symbol 00:28:44.250 --> 00:28:46.690 for them. It was a tiny wedding. Only eight people 00:28:46.690 --> 00:28:49.089 were there, including Dave Grohl, but notably, 00:28:49.269 --> 00:28:51.349 Chris Novoselic wasn't. And when their daughter, 00:28:51.490 --> 00:28:54.250 Frances Bean, was born that August, the media 00:28:54.250 --> 00:28:57.329 scrutiny just became unbearable. It became devastating 00:28:57.329 --> 00:29:00.009 after that Vanity Fair article came out. Love 00:29:00.009 --> 00:29:02.309 admitted to a drug binge early in her pregnancy. 00:29:02.670 --> 00:29:04.829 She later said it was before she knew she was 00:29:04.829 --> 00:29:07.250 pregnant, but the damage was done. The public 00:29:07.250 --> 00:29:10.230 reaction was brutal. It was. The LA County Department 00:29:10.230 --> 00:29:13.109 of Children's Services actually deemed them unfit. 00:29:13.259 --> 00:29:15.720 parents. And Frances was removed from their care 00:29:15.720 --> 00:29:18.859 for a short time right after she was born. That 00:29:18.859 --> 00:29:22.220 invasion of privacy, the public judgment, it 00:29:22.220 --> 00:29:24.819 just added this massive pressure to an already 00:29:24.819 --> 00:29:27.980 incredibly fragile situation. But in the middle 00:29:27.980 --> 00:29:30.720 of all this personal turmoil and self -destruction, 00:29:30.880 --> 00:29:34.559 Cobain was this unwavering vocal advocate for 00:29:34.559 --> 00:29:37.180 social justice. This is the other great contradiction 00:29:37.180 --> 00:29:39.440 you have to grapple with. This man who was so 00:29:39.440 --> 00:29:42.519 internally fragmented had this incredibly strong 00:29:44.579 --> 00:29:48.140 He was a fierce opponent of sexism, racism, sexual 00:29:48.140 --> 00:29:50.500 assault, homophobia. And he used the platform 00:29:50.500 --> 00:29:52.740 he hated to send these incredibly clear messages. 00:29:53.039 --> 00:29:55.160 Like the liner notes for the album Incesticide, 00:29:55.339 --> 00:29:57.900 it's one of the most direct anti -hate manifestos 00:29:57.900 --> 00:30:00.500 in rock history. What did it say? It said, if 00:30:00.500 --> 00:30:03.220 any of you in any way hate homosexuals, people 00:30:03.220 --> 00:30:06.000 of different color, or women, please do this 00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:09.140 one favor for us. Leave us the fuck alone. Don't 00:30:09.140 --> 00:30:10.960 come to our shows and don't buy our records. 00:30:11.099 --> 00:30:12.779 A lot of zero tolerance policies. Absolutely. 00:30:12.940 --> 00:30:15.180 And he was a passionate supporter of the pro 00:30:15.180 --> 00:30:17.259 -choice movement. He played at Rock for Choice 00:30:17.259 --> 00:30:19.680 events, got death threats from anti -abortion 00:30:19.680 --> 00:30:22.400 activists. He connected his own experience as 00:30:22.400 --> 00:30:24.559 an outsider to the struggles of every oppressed 00:30:24.559 --> 00:30:27.259 group. Okay, let's move into the final tragic 00:30:27.259 --> 00:30:30.440 section, section five. The final chapter and 00:30:30.440 --> 00:30:33.910 his enduring legacy. The sources show that this 00:30:33.910 --> 00:30:37.210 last period of his life just unfolded with his 00:30:37.210 --> 00:30:40.309 shocking, terrible speed. The last month of his 00:30:40.309 --> 00:30:42.769 life was just an accelerating downward spiral. 00:30:43.009 --> 00:30:46.069 It really starts on March 1st, 1994 in Munich. 00:30:46.230 --> 00:30:48.369 He gets diagnosed with bronchitis and severe 00:30:48.369 --> 00:30:50.890 laryngitis. So he flies to Rome for treatment. 00:30:51.089 --> 00:30:53.650 He does. And on March 4, Courtney Love wakes 00:30:53.650 --> 00:30:55.529 up and finds he's overdosed on a combination 00:30:55.529 --> 00:30:58.609 of champagne and Rohypnol. She later said very 00:30:58.609 --> 00:31:00.809 definitively that this was his first suicide 00:31:00.809 --> 00:31:03.210 attempt. what prompted the intervention back 00:31:03.210 --> 00:31:06.809 in Seattle. Right. On March 18th, the police 00:31:06.809 --> 00:31:09.029 were called to their house. Love reported he 00:31:09.029 --> 00:31:10.930 was suicidal, had locked himself in a room with 00:31:10.930 --> 00:31:14.029 a gun. The police confiscated some guns and pills, 00:31:14.230 --> 00:31:16.849 but Cobain denied he was suicidal. So they held 00:31:16.849 --> 00:31:19.369 a more formal intervention. On March 25. Yeah. 00:31:19.950 --> 00:31:22.430 Friends, record execs, at first he was furious, 00:31:22.549 --> 00:31:25.269 just cursing at everyone. But eventually, under 00:31:25.269 --> 00:31:27.710 all that pressure, he agreed to go to a detox 00:31:27.710 --> 00:31:30.170 program in Los Angeles. And the timeline of what 00:31:30.170 --> 00:31:32.670 happens next is just heartbreaking. He flies 00:31:32.670 --> 00:31:36.549 to LA on March 30, but not before he gets the 00:31:36.549 --> 00:31:38.609 weapon that he would use to end his life. The 00:31:38.609 --> 00:31:41.289 very same day he left for rehab, he asked his 00:31:41.289 --> 00:31:44.009 friend Dylan Carlson to buy him a 20 -gauge shotgun. 00:31:44.329 --> 00:31:46.359 What was the excuse? He claimed it was for self 00:31:46.359 --> 00:31:48.579 -protection, that he was worried about intruders 00:31:48.579 --> 00:31:50.980 at his house. So Carlson bought the gun for him. 00:31:51.240 --> 00:31:53.279 Cobain went to the facility in L .A., but he 00:31:53.279 --> 00:31:55.900 escaped almost immediately. Scaled an eight -foot 00:31:55.900 --> 00:31:58.680 wall and flew back to Seattle on April 1st. And 00:31:58.680 --> 00:32:01.160 that final flight back to Seattle has this strange, 00:32:01.339 --> 00:32:04.200 almost poetic detail about his relationship with 00:32:04.200 --> 00:32:06.720 the mainstream rock world he hated so much. On 00:32:06.720 --> 00:32:09.140 that flight... His seat was right next to Duff 00:32:09.140 --> 00:32:11.839 McKagan, the bassist for Guns N' Roses. Which 00:32:11.839 --> 00:32:15.480 is so ironic given how much Cobain publicly despised 00:32:15.480 --> 00:32:19.119 Axl Reeves in that whole scene. Completely. McKagan 00:32:19.119 --> 00:32:21.819 later said that Cobain seemed happy to see him, 00:32:21.920 --> 00:32:23.579 and they talked about the old Seattle scene. 00:32:23.799 --> 00:32:26.819 But McKagan said that all of his instincts told 00:32:26.819 --> 00:32:29.160 him that something was terribly, terribly wrong. 00:32:29.440 --> 00:32:31.880 And in the middle of that chaos in those last 00:32:31.880 --> 00:32:35.299 days, there was this heartbreaking failed attempted 00:32:35.299 --> 00:32:38.549 connection. It was tied to his lifelong obsession 00:32:38.549 --> 00:32:41.710 with Francis Farmer. This is maybe the most poignant 00:32:41.710 --> 00:32:44.069 detail in all the source material. In the months 00:32:44.069 --> 00:32:46.470 before he died, Cobain was repeatedly calling 00:32:46.470 --> 00:32:48.990 the Seattle Post -Intelligencer, desperately 00:32:48.990 --> 00:32:51.250 trying to talk to a film critic named William 00:32:51.250 --> 00:32:53.670 Arnold. Why him? Arnold had written a book called 00:32:53.670 --> 00:32:56.130 Shadowland, which was about the psychiatric commitment 00:32:56.130 --> 00:32:58.970 and persecution of Francis Farmer. The actress 00:32:58.970 --> 00:33:01.710 Cobain identified with so strongly. And Arnold 00:33:01.710 --> 00:33:03.970 never called him back. He never returned the 00:33:03.970 --> 00:33:07.400 calls. He barely knew who Cobain was, and he 00:33:07.400 --> 00:33:09.880 was put off by these rambling, urgent messages. 00:33:10.319 --> 00:33:13.960 He expressed profound regret later. He speculated 00:33:13.960 --> 00:33:16.019 that Cobain was reaching out, feeling like he 00:33:16.019 --> 00:33:18.519 was reliving Farmer's tragedy, and was desperate 00:33:18.519 --> 00:33:20.640 to connect with someone who might actually understand. 00:33:20.980 --> 00:33:23.839 It shows how consumed he was by that image of 00:33:23.839 --> 00:33:26.420 the persecuted artist right up to the very end. 00:33:26.500 --> 00:33:28.859 Completely. And then the final discovery on April 00:33:28.859 --> 00:33:32.460 8, 1994. An electrician installing a security 00:33:32.460 --> 00:33:35.000 system at his home found him dead in the greenhouse. 00:33:35.440 --> 00:33:38.259 The coroner estimated he died around April 5 00:33:38.259 --> 00:33:41.440 at age 27 from a self -inflicted shotgun wound, 00:33:41.640 --> 00:33:45.240 securing his place in that tragic 27 Club. And 00:33:45.240 --> 00:33:47.200 the suicide note was addressed to his imaginary 00:33:47.200 --> 00:33:50.619 childhood friend, Boda. It was. And it ended 00:33:50.619 --> 00:33:52.940 with that famous line, it's better to burn out 00:33:52.940 --> 00:33:55.579 than to fade away, which he took directly from 00:33:55.579 --> 00:33:58.190 a Neil Young song. Even in his final act, he 00:33:58.190 --> 00:34:00.849 was synthesizing art. The news just sent shockwaves 00:34:00.849 --> 00:34:02.470 around the world. And the immediate aftermath 00:34:02.470 --> 00:34:05.369 just tragically confirmed Cobain's worst fears 00:34:05.369 --> 00:34:07.789 about the mainstream. His death was instantly 00:34:07.789 --> 00:34:10.010 monetized. Album sales went through the roof. 00:34:10.230 --> 00:34:13.010 They skyrocketed. There's this bitter quote from 00:34:13.010 --> 00:34:16.269 a buyer at Tower Records who said, It's a pathetic 00:34:16.269 --> 00:34:19.190 scene. Everything is going out the door. If people 00:34:19.190 --> 00:34:21.429 were really fans, they would have had this stuff 00:34:21.429 --> 00:34:23.969 already. It's the perfect encapsulation of his 00:34:23.969 --> 00:34:27.599 resentment. The public only fully embraced him 00:34:27.599 --> 00:34:30.460 once he was safely dead. And couldn't challenge 00:34:30.460 --> 00:34:32.159 them anymore. And of course, his death kicked 00:34:32.159 --> 00:34:34.880 off decades of conspiracy theories that just 00:34:34.880 --> 00:34:37.340 will not go away. It remains one of the most 00:34:37.340 --> 00:34:40.440 debated events in modern music. The Seattle Police 00:34:40.440 --> 00:34:42.760 Department still gets at least one request a 00:34:42.760 --> 00:34:45.320 week to reopen the investigation. There have 00:34:45.320 --> 00:34:47.739 been documentaries, books. Yeah, films like Kurt 00:34:47.739 --> 00:34:50.000 and Courtney and Soaked in Bluech have explored 00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:52.579 the possibility of murder, mostly based on the 00:34:52.579 --> 00:34:54.760 claims of a private detective named Tom Grant. 00:34:55.000 --> 00:34:57.619 But the general consensus, even from the filmmakers, 00:34:57.980 --> 00:35:00.639 still points to suicide. Right. Nick Broomfield, 00:35:00.820 --> 00:35:02.900 who made Kurt and Courtney, he concluded that 00:35:02.900 --> 00:35:05.980 he believed Cobain took his own life. And in 00:35:05.980 --> 00:35:08.820 2014, the Seattle police developed four rolls 00:35:08.820 --> 00:35:10.739 of film from the crime scene that had just been 00:35:10.739 --> 00:35:13.480 sitting in an evidence vault for 20 years. And 00:35:13.480 --> 00:35:15.440 they confirmed the original conclusion. They 00:35:15.440 --> 00:35:17.760 confirmed the suicide conclusion. Despite all 00:35:17.760 --> 00:35:21.179 the tragedy, his cultural legacy is just monumental. 00:35:21.559 --> 00:35:24.320 It's cemented. Billy Corgan from The Smashing 00:35:24.320 --> 00:35:26.300 Pumpkins called him the Michael Jordan of our 00:35:26.300 --> 00:35:29.829 generation. Lars Ulrich. from Metallica said 00:35:29.829 --> 00:35:33.309 that with Cobain, you connected to the real person, 00:35:33.349 --> 00:35:36.349 not to a perception of who he was, that authenticity 00:35:36.349 --> 00:35:39.909 was magnetic. And his former manager, Danny Goldberg, 00:35:40.110 --> 00:35:43.329 made this huge claim that Cobain's death marked 00:35:43.329 --> 00:35:46.340 an endpoint for rock music itself. Goldberg argued 00:35:46.340 --> 00:35:48.880 that Cobain was probably the last icon of the 00:35:48.880 --> 00:35:52.139 rock era, that he fused pop and underground culture 00:35:52.139 --> 00:35:54.219 in a way no one has really managed to do on that 00:35:54.219 --> 00:35:57.179 scale since. He suggested that the era that maybe 00:35:57.179 --> 00:35:59.420 started with The Beatles basically ended with 00:35:59.420 --> 00:36:01.599 the chaos and vulnerability of Truth Cobain. 00:36:01.739 --> 00:36:04.139 That's a massive idea. But his emotional profile, 00:36:04.239 --> 00:36:06.679 that vulnerability, clearly still resonates today. 00:36:06.739 --> 00:36:09.480 It's even influencing movies. Absolutely. The 00:36:09.480 --> 00:36:11.739 director, Matt Reeves, said his version of Bruce 00:36:11.739 --> 00:36:14.420 Wayne in the Batman was loosely inspired by Cobain. 00:36:14.480 --> 00:36:17.260 This tragic, wealthy recluse struggling with 00:36:17.260 --> 00:36:20.280 guilt and Nirvana's something in the way is featured 00:36:20.280 --> 00:36:23.139 prominently in the film twice. It just proves 00:36:23.139 --> 00:36:25.980 that his sound, his emotional state still defines 00:36:25.980 --> 00:36:29.420 modern isolation for a mass audience. So when 00:36:29.420 --> 00:36:31.340 we pull all this together, this whole deep dive, 00:36:31.420 --> 00:36:34.360 the story of Kurt Cobain is just defined by duality. 00:36:34.440 --> 00:36:37.380 The massive star who hated fame, the chronically 00:36:37.380 --> 00:36:40.079 ill man who self -medicated into oblivion, and 00:36:40.079 --> 00:36:42.420 this hugely influential artist who championed 00:36:42.420 --> 00:36:45.099 tolerance while battling his own internal chaos. 00:36:45.420 --> 00:36:47.860 He translated that deeply personal pain from 00:36:47.860 --> 00:36:49.860 his childhood, from his illness, into a sound 00:36:49.860 --> 00:36:52.400 that just spoke to millions. The key takeaway 00:36:52.400 --> 00:36:55.119 has to be the sheer weight of that paradox. He 00:36:55.119 --> 00:36:57.300 fought being a spokesman with every fiber of 00:36:57.300 --> 00:36:59.659 his being. His art was shaped by these totally 00:36:59.659 --> 00:37:02.500 opposed influences. The Beatles and Lead Belly 00:37:02.500 --> 00:37:05.340 filtered through punk rock noise. He wanted authenticity. 00:37:05.500 --> 00:37:08.219 He wanted connection. But the scale of his success 00:37:08.219 --> 00:37:10.500 made both impossible. He felt trapped by the 00:37:10.500 --> 00:37:12.719 very spotlight he had created. And that level 00:37:12.719 --> 00:37:15.260 of intensity, that raw vulnerability, the honesty 00:37:15.260 --> 00:37:18.940 about his pain and his politics. Maybe it was 00:37:18.940 --> 00:37:20.699 just too much for the corporate mainstream machine 00:37:20.699 --> 00:37:23.500 he got caught in. Indeed. And that brings us 00:37:23.500 --> 00:37:25.960 to our final provocative thought for you to consider. 00:37:26.219 --> 00:37:28.900 If Danny Goldberg is right and Kurt Cobain really 00:37:28.900 --> 00:37:31.440 was the last of the globally resonant, universally 00:37:31.440 --> 00:37:34.840 defining rock icons, what does that say about 00:37:34.840 --> 00:37:36.860 our modern relationship between personal struggle 00:37:36.860 --> 00:37:39.960 and mass media success? Was the intensity and 00:37:39.960 --> 00:37:42.260 the raw vulnerability he offered the very last 00:37:42.260 --> 00:37:44.380 thing the mainstream rock audience and the industry 00:37:44.380 --> 00:37:46.599 built to serve it was truly prepared to handle?