Previously on Turntails. And he's exhausted.
The drink kind of helped. But he's just kind
of like staring out into like the distance for
a second. And then he pulls out the lamp. Motherfucker.
No! I wanted to be there! Damn it! It's okay.
It's okay. We're gonna have fun. We're gonna
have fun! And he's gonna kind of look at the
lamp for a second, like just glaring at it. And
then he's gonna rub it. Oh, man. Oh my gosh.
I'm going to have to like, oh. The room begins
to fill with a soft blue mist emitting from the
spout of this lamp. And as it coalesces together
and starts to take on a somewhat humanistic form
from the torso up, the camera is going to cut.
Oh, come on. Garrison will be back soon. Yeah.
Yeah, so I'm reading the book I'm reading every
single page of it in order Wow, okay, you guys
are not Oh, I can't wait. Here's the problem
that that reading takes time. So I can't like
immediately give you answers here. This is a
thick book. If you stay up all night, I will
give you answers in the morning. Yeah. If you
don't want to stay up all night, you're going
to get rudimentary answers. I'll stay up all
night. Oh, man. The long rest. He still needs
to meditate in some form. I'm not a hundred percent
clear on what this book looks like. It's a binding
full of pages from different journals. So it
looks like one man had a journal and he filled
it and said, OK, I need another journal. And
he filled it. And he said, well, I want both
these things in one place. So he bound them together.
And then he did that about three more times.
Wow. OK. OK. So it's a thick ass. So it's all
from one person. Yep. But it's it's a Disheveled
journal. Okay. Okay. Yep. Cool. And you are going
to choose to not sleep and read as much as you
can. Cool. Roll me a roll me a flat intelligence
check. Yeah. So that's not going to probably
do anything. Okay. So five is what? How does
the fucking DM's guide say? It's like a very
easy DC. So you get minimum information, but
it won't be bad information. Right. Do you want
an inspiration? I'll give you an inspiration.
Um, I don't want to waste it on something. That's
not like crucial I could see because you'd always
crack open the book and take another run at it
later, you know, yeah Yeah, just the fact that
I'm for going long runs for this one, but it's
fine. I'll take I'll take the minimum, right?
With a five I'm still getting something which
I usually get nothing from a five Also add that
he's a warlock. So he'll get his spell slots
back on a short rest true. Okay I'm gonna add
one Thing though. I have something called eyes
of the runekeeper which like allows me to read
any language I don't know if that would make
reading this easier, but ooh Any language? Yeah
That's cool. Yeah, what's that come from? I have
no idea but it's a it's a feat It's a feat Was
it an invocation maybe an eldritch thing or might
be eyes of the runekeeper? Yeah, it's called
eyes of the runekeeper. I bet that's an eldritch
invocation Man, how do I get an eldritch invocation?
Lock asshole. No, it's a feat. Just learn magic
The pages were ripped out. So would that make
it easier? I think it might be from the pact
of the tome If anything, but I want to make a
pact Just sign go back to the book that you'll
be was touching inside do not Right there do
not yeah, I'm really tempted. Yeah, it is a unearthed
arcana Invocation this is a warlock thing so
you I just shoot both I think level five Rangers
feel a lot better. What's your subclass? I don't
know if I have one. We gotta look at that. If
you don't have one, what level are you? No, it's
at four. Same level as everybody else, four.
Yeah, so you should have one. We'll figure that
out. Yeah, and it's actually from the player's
handbook. Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, anything
that's written, I can read. Yeah, I'll say that
helps. Nice. Reroll? Ooh, I don't know about
that. You get you get fucked yet. I was just
gonna give you more information, but I'll I'll
lay I'll give you advantage on the roll nice
You've convinced me nice go come on That's so
much better. That's uh Seventeen okay, 17 is
much better. Thank you Sean. Thank you. I don't
think me. It was the I'm kind of stalling till
audio gets back, but the book that audio gave
Elsie for her birthday, it's the ABCs of D &D.
Dude, it's the best. And at the end, it's Y is
for blah, X is for blah, right? At the end, it
says Y is for yes, which all DMs should say.
And I was like, that's my boy. That's my boy.
He got it. That's powerful. I'm glad that book
says that. I know. I was like, damn. I was reading
it to Elsie for the first time. I was like, fuck.
That's powerful. And Z is for zombies. Or whatever
I said. I wonder what it is. That's a good book,
by the way. It's great. And do you have it? Yeah,
we have that one. So good. Did Audrey get it
for you too? Yes. It's like Emma's for Monsters
and like, it's great. It's ages one to 101. Yeah.
Wow, that's cool. That one's really good. You
like that? I do like that. Trademark. I really
like it. I miss Audrey. I miss beer, which Audrey
should be bringing. Hopefully she didn't hear
that. Just player that clip. Just send her that.
We can move away from Vayne. That gives us Keela,
Chris, B .O .B. or Blink. B .O .B .D. Are you
just going to bed? I don't really think B .O
.B. has anything other than just hanging out
with Doug, telling him about his day. Cool. Yeah.
Then let's do this. If you're hanging out with
Doug and talking about his day before Blink presumably
makes a wish. So let's say this. Any conversations
you have with the genie, no chance anyone hears
it. Cool. But if you start leading towards making
a wish, I'm going to give B .O .B. a role to
show up before you make the wish. If he fails
that role, he's going to get a retry between
each wish. OK, cool. Fair. Are you going to use
all three? Who knows? I don't know! I'm so scared!
Okay, so... I have a question before I choose
where to go next. Yeah. What did the genie sound
like? You got me. I'm a genie. Yeah, I kinda
like that, yeah. Was he closer to this? No. No.
He didn't really have an accent. It was more
like, you but show body. Oh, a little pompous.
A little deeper voice, yeah, yeah. We just change
like this year. Do sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. Now do it. Do it. French. Yeah. No. Do
it. French. Okay. Now do it this way. I throw
some peanuts at you in real life. Yeah. Dance
while you dance. I was going for there. I have
to choose between that or these two. I'm going
to go these two. Yeah, yeah. OK, Keela and Chris.
OK, right. I know, I mean, it's a long night.
We are traipsing down the street. I am heading
towards the docks, the main docks. OK, it's you
just follow the river one direction. Yeah. And
as we're walking, I'm going to pull the pamphlet.
Did the pamphlet that I stole from the library,
did it come with me? It did. Cool. I'm going
to pull that out of my back pocket, hand it to
Chris. What's this? It's the crime we're committing,
mate. Tell me, have you ever considered piracy?
Any experience commandeering a ship? No. I mean,
I've been on ships. First time for everything.
If you've been on a ship, that's like a step
in the right direction. Do you know anything
about rigging sails? Rigging is the rope. Yeah.
All right. Yeah. So like rope. You'll do fine.
I know about rope. You know about stealing. Oh
yeah. Great. All right. We're set. We're going
to steal a ship. You and I. And if all goes well,
I get a ship. and you get a title of first mate.
If things don't go right, then we interact with
this guy who's throwing this party and then we
still win. So both ways, we sort of come out
on top like the guy said that we would, no matter
what we did, the crazy old man. So, yeah, if
you're still in, we're stealing a ship. Chris's
face slowly goes from like looking up it. and
like, yeah, yeah, I'm eager to learn. I'm ready
to like, I know what you're doing. I know what
you're doing. And I'm just going to look at her
with the face that says you want to leave. Not
necessarily. I sort of just want the boat and
then I'll figure out the leaving thing from there.
I'm not looking to leave tonight. I want to go
to this party bad. But you just want to take
it out in case you're over it. OK, yeah, I have
been very clear from the beginning. My intention
here is to procure. Shawn is holding up a cartoon
version of Chris that he's drawn where he looks
very displeased. I've been very clear from the
beginning that my intention is to procure a ship
and possibly a crew. This is just getting a ship
and possibly getting into a party if I can't
get the ship. So either way, we still come out
on top whether or not you want to stay on the
ship. Beyond that is your business. It's not
mine. I'd pay you. I lay on the ground, hold
my head like I hate. All right. When you're done
having your tantrum, are you going to? Are you
going to help me or not? It's going to be fun
in your wet rabbit feet. I mean, I get it. Like,
dude, I get it. OK, I know you want to be like
sail in the world and seeing everything and all
that stuff. But like misconstrued my intentions.
But carry on. But like, you really don't feel
like these guys are like kind of family and we're
kind of meant to do something. I've known you
people for 48 hours. That's fine. Alright, like
you don't you really don't? Think we've been
through things you really don't think we've been
through things together and that that means something
I'm bringing you with me aren't I okay? Let's
go back and get the rest of them That's what
I thought no But I get the rest of them because
I want to get the fucking boat if I wanted to
land me ours in jail I'd go get the rest of them
Are you doing this with me or not because otherwise
I'm walking off by me fucking self And you can
go back to the tavern and drink your damn life
away I'll do it with you, but I have a strong
feeling that some ulterior motives will that
some unseen forces looking at Sean Will will
make it very hard for you. We'll make it very
hard for you. Can I do that? Can I break the
fourth wall? Yeah, you're basically Bugs Bunny.
So yeah So I will help you but you said you I
want it to be known that you I want you to say
you appreciate my help and that you can't do
it without me. That's what I want you to say.
I am willing to concede to the first part. I
will not admit it to the second part because
it's just not fucking true. And I love telling
the truth, Chris. Sean made a funny face on me.
Doubt. Is the first part going to be enough for
you or are you going to go back to the tavern?
And I say. I'll take what I can get. And I go,
let's go. Yeah, that's what I thought. Let's
go. Great. Let's go. And I go with Potts. I go
with Keela. I go with Keela. The lines blur further.
Give me one more. I'm going with Keela where
you're not pissed. And I'm going with Keela.
Cool. That's what you get. Yeah. Great. We go
down to the docks. You approach a large... sweeping
dock, you easily see at a glance without counting
upwards of 30 ships docked in this harbor. Oh,
so good. Tall ships. Oh, yeah. None of them.
The cargo freighters that you've seen on the
on crash went that were docked there, but they
are still like pirate ships, the active Navy
ships, things like that. Great. All right. Here
in order is what? I'm looking for a brigantine.
Is it going to be easier to take with just the
two of us? Like a brig, fine. But as a wee bit
small for my taste, I'm not looking for a sloop
because I'm beyond that. A galleon or like a
man of war. If we could get one of those bad
boys, that would be sweet. Might be a wee bit
tricky with the two of us, but I think we can
figure it out. You got that? All right. Keep
your eyes peeled. Pause for like 10 seconds.
Are you Googling? I'm Googling a joke. Don't
at me. What's the difference? What do you uh?
What do you call a snail on a ship? A snail or
that's a spongebob joke All right, I say you
want a what a what a brig or a a sloop what did
you want? Want I'm looking for either a brigantine
or better if you can score if you see a galleon
or like a man -of -war Brigantine galleon man
-of -war. I mean this one says I like big boats
and I cannot lie I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Make it
funny with editing I finally have a chance to
be cool and funny. Just edit me to be that way
You know that's not how this is gonna go, right
Kyle? You know the funny you know the funny version
of this isn't you just saying I like big boats
that you keep the really long Fast -forward yeah,
I I concede I concede to being. No, no, no. I
think that's hilarious. I think that's the name
on that dinghy over there. That's not what I'm
looking for. I thought you said you've been on
a boat before. Like one, maybe. Yes, Sean. I
can't wait to name this episode. I like big boats.
I Look around are there any tall ships that are
of brigantine size or larger it takes you a few
hours to canvas the docks to Because large ships
block the view of small ships, so you have to
walk the entire I'm just looking for the big
ones I'm looking for the little ones. I'm looking
for the big ones. I see. I see the whole job
or larger gotcha or larger. Sorry It takes you
no time at all to find those things. There are
several ships that meet that criteria. They all
seem to have some activity aboard them, whether
it's lights on or just people standing at the
gangplank. OK, but they're all pretty much gangplanks.
Yep. Like you can get from the dock to them.
OK, cool. I want to find Brigantine size. If
they're all staffed, I am looking for either
a I'd even settle for a brig or a brigantine.
You would know better than Sean the DM. So Kila,
with her eyes, sees what she's looking for. Cool.
Well, has every ship. Great. On the larger end
of, you know, medium size. Roll me an investigation
check and you will find the best possible opportunity
for yourself. Can I roll it at advantage? Because
I love boats. Oh, it's big. Does Kila love boats?
Yeah, of course. You think the pirate character
doesn't love boats? Um, I don't think your love
of boats comes into finding what's the best one
to steal. Fine. Do you? I think it does because
it's just piracy. And you do all piracy at advantage?
I would make an argument towards it. Yes. I would
also say so. Love begets knowledge. True. Huh?
I will allow it. This time because it seems inconsequential,
but no you do not get advantage on anything that
is pirate being adjacent I have to cover my base
on that one. Well, we'll see Here's my investigation
is a negative one and I'm looking to commandeer
a ship and that just doesn't seem like it Hila
doesn't make good judgment calls Too good. Can
I keep what it landed on the floor? No Dang.
He knows just because you asked. I would have
said no, no matter what. It was the same 18.
I rolled a 19. Nice. You walk the perimeter and
you get a good look at all these ships. There
are six or seven that meet the criteria of what
you're looking for, but they're all very heavily
guarded. Heavily guarded. However, you pull Chris
to the side and see that the two guarding the.
Gangplank of the closest brig to you go up it
and pull it up and It peaks your curiosity. So
you stand and wait for a bit and within the next
five minutes the There's two lights on this ship
that you can see through windows one of the two
goes out and the only other one is up on the
bridge and Is the bridge higher than the deck?
Yeah The bridge is I imagine where you steer
the boat. Yeah. Okay. The helm. Okay. Chris,
I'm going to ask you this question one time and
whatever answer you give me, I promise not to
tell other people. Are you willing to kill people?
Oh, yeah. You think I'm not? No, I do think you
are. I just needed to confirm it verbally out
loud before we start going. And there's two guys,
this one right here. And she points to the break
in question. As far as I'm aware, there's two
guys that have gone up, one light's extinguished,
one's still on. I feel like if we get in and
out, and there's two casualties, that's fine.
If you can just huck them overboard without killing
them, that would be great, but you're kind of
a rabbit, and so if they see you, they're gonna
be able to swim back in and be like, hey, the
rabbit got me, and that just kind of brings the
whole thing down. I'm just like a person, you
know, so if they can, like, I'm listening. Listen,
Keela, hey, yeah, I'm really trying hard to keep
up with what you want from me. I really don't
know. Like, I'm trying real hard. I'll keep it
simple for you. If they see your face, fucking
kill them. If they don't just talk them overboard.
And they can swim for it. OK, got it. I'm on.
You're kind of identifiable. And so I'm trying
to avoid that. That's fine. That's great. They
did pull up the gangplank. Are you a good swimmer?
Oh, actually, yeah. Yeah. All right. Cool. Here's
what we're going to do. Do these ships. There's
typically like a built in. ladder kind of up
the side for emergency purposes separate from
the gameplay. Cool. Is it on one side or both
sides of the bow? Both sides. Great. All right,
Chris, here's what we're going to do. They pulled
up the gangplank, but fuck it. You said you're
a good swimmer. Go ahead. Get in the water. Go
up port side. I'll go up starboard and we'll
just go from there. Yeah, sound good for you.
Sounds good. Meet you at the top. Cool dibs on
port because it's closer because my limbs are
shorter. I can't like make bigger strokes. So
you got the other side. You're going to go exactly
where I told you to. Great. Nice. Give me a self
check. Chris doesn't know. Chris doesn't know
what side board and starboard is. I do. I know
what you meant. It's going that way. You want
me in this side. What am I doing? Self check
stealth. Unless you don't want to, I guess I
do so bad. because it's plus six, so. Please,
please, please, please. Eighteen. Fifteen. Let's
go. Decent. How do you get into the water? You
just dive off the dock? I would find like somewhere
where I can sort of hold the post and lower myself
in. I don't want splashing noises. OK, cool.
Yeah, there'd be places that you could pull yourself
out in case you fell in and you could just walk
down those. Great. Cool. Cool. That's where I'm
going. Nice reminder. You walk yourselves into
the water quietly and begin to swim. You go to
either side of the boat and climb your way up.
Kila, it's effortless for you, Chris. It's a
bit more work. Well, they're human sized stairs.
They're not harangoon sized. Yeah. Give me an
athletics check. I'm decent at that, I think.
Athletics. Yep. Because you are climbing a ladder,
sort of a very crude ladder on the side of a
boat. Are you sure it's not acrobatics? Oh, acrobatics.
Thank you. Yeah, I'm glad you did. Eleven on
an eleven. You get about halfway up and slip.
fall and plop into the water. You're kidding.
It makes a noise. What do you do as you are under
the water? You know, you made a noise. I resurface
as close to the ship as I can. Cool. Smart. Good.
That's the only answer I needed. I'm going to
make a perception check. Keela, you have to hide.
I'm going to keep your stealth check because
it was good. But you duck just below the deck
as you're pulling yourself up because you see
two people move over to investigate a sound,
the splash that you heard on the other side,
and they shine lights that hit the surface of
the water. Chris, you see these lights with your
maintained stealth check and a good choice to
get out of line of sight. You see lights hit
the surface of the water and scan where you were.
After some time, you hear Muffle talking from
above that sounds indistinctly like, ignore it,
whatever. And they disappear. Must have been
the wind. Must have been the wind. That's good.
And those two figures disappear. You can make
the climb again. I'm not going to make you roll.
I make the climb again. And you get to the top
and you see Keyla is already at the top. Both
of you go ahead and give me a perception check.
Eight. Nineteen. I'm a rabbit. My ears are this
big. You get to the top of the deck. and just
your little sonar ears take over and you're able
to listen closely and you hear two people having
conversation. However, you hear a snoring in
the crow's nest as well. The people having conversation
are on the bridge at the helm. So there's two
people on the bridge and one in the crow's nest
and nobody in the rooms where the lights were.
I'm I'm perceiving that those two people I think
you would know that your hearing and perception
is not going to tell you what's going on below
deck here without like a 25, you know, OK. I
just motioned Akila like one up there. Oh, OK.
And I will motion to her to go take care of the
people on the deck. And I'm going to start climbing
up to the crow's nest. Oh, cool. OK. Conditions
are changing. I'm going to are we? What do you
mean conditions are changing? I think an initiative.
No, not quite an initiative. Okay. You are going
to roll new stealth checks as you are on the
boat and your objective is changing. This is
really stressful. New objectives, I got you.
What are we doing, stealth? Stealth. Yeah, stealth.
I'm stealthy. That looks good. What you got?
14. 17. Okay, 14 and 17. I'm gonna roll three
perception checks. That guy's asleep. Yep. Okay.
The first one's at disadvantage. Me telling Sean
how to TM. The second real game I've ever played.
Chris, you make your way up into the crow's nest
and you find a slender elderly man snoozing his
day away. Night away. It is nighttime. Yeah.
Presumably he's supposed to be awake. Yeah, because
he's in the crows and like I would I would look
I don't know anything about ships. You see like
a flashlight device that they shined on you next
to him on the on the side. Like maybe he should
have been doing that, too. Interesting. Go ahead.
Chris is he's a rabbit. He doesn't sail, but
he knows like this is not where I would want
to sleep. Right. Oh, gosh. And in this moment,
Chris decides whether or not to kill a man. If
you want to look over the side of the crow's
nest at Keela and see what she does, you are
welcome to make that choice. No, I want to do
something here. And I think I want to. Yeah,
yeah, I want to tie him up. I want to tie up
his hands and legs without him waking up. And
I know that's going to be hard. That's what I
want to do. I'm going to say this out loud right
now. Without him waking up, 15. Uh, sleight of
hand? Yep. That's not bad. It's not bad. Can
I choose something else? Like what? Can I think
about choosing something else? Is what I'm asking
you right now. Or are you gonna make me make
this decision right now? If I cut tequila, your
choices are gonna be influenced by hers. Okay.
Right? Um, yeah. You hesitate is what we're seeing.
Chris gets up there, thinks, and hesitates. Is
that allowed? No, I'm going to do it. Cool. I'm
going to try to do it. All right. I'm going to
try to tie him up without him waking up. OK.
Come on. One time. Oh, did you John Ham? No,
I didn't. OK. OK. I got great. Nineteen. Nineteen.
And that's plus your modifier. Yes. Yes. Cool.
Nineteen total. You slip a rope. that is in the
crow's nest with you around his ankles and then
around his wrists. Very nice, very nice. And
you are able to grab a bundle of cloth and stuff
it into his mouth as well. Awesome. I wasn't
even asking for that, but thank you. But while
he's still asleep, so don't worry about it. And
then I'm going to ready myself with my bow and
arrow. Cool. Pointed at him? No, pointed like
looking to where Keela is and like looking and
waiting to see. OK, these two guys are up. on
the bridge. Are they like talking to each other?
What are they doing? Yeah, you hear them having
a conversation with each other. They're complaining
they're pulling a double shift. I am going to
pull myself up over the edge. Where is the mechanism
that raises and lowers the anchor? Is it at the
bow, stern, front or back? On this model ship,
it is in the center of the ship, the center of
the ship. Just OK. It is about 10 feet back from
the mast. OK. Is the deck of the ship lit pretty
clearly? No, it is dark. Only the helm is lit.
OK. Hmm. There are eight posts for lifting this
anchor. Oh, it's hard to do by yourself. OK.
I am going to... Can I act at any time watching
Keela? Absolutely. There's no initiative yet.
I am going to creep my way up to the helm. Okay,
with a 17 self. Do you want to keep that or roll
a new one as you get closer? I'm pretty sure
myself was only a 14 in the interest of full
disclosure. Was it? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, how does
that change things for me before I proceed? It
might not change what I ask you the same question.
Do you want to roll a new one as you take a new
action or let yours ride? I do want to roll a
new one. The only reason I ever wouldn't let
something ride would be because the situation
has severely changed. So like you are technically
moving into a light space here. But I don't know
if that's significant enough for me to say that
the situation changed. So now you have the option
to roll. again if you want, but if it's lower,
it's lower. You're not taking the higher of the
two. Actually, instead of I'll still reroll a
stealth check. I want to. Is there like a door
that leads down into like the belly of the ship?
I want to do a little bit of recon on how many
sailors might be below deck sleeping before I
start pulling shit. Give me that new stealth
check. There's no way it's at advantage because
I'm in the dark I'll tell you what this stealth
check is the act of going below deck as well,
right? So we have to take into account that there
are people above deck that can see and hear What
do you think? What was your self check so far
six? So would it being dark affect the sound
of that door? Probably not do you think I'm being
unfair and then saying that a sick stealth check
to open and close the door probably gets heard.
No, probably not. OK, let me ask you this. When
you realize the door is going to creak or as
you pull at it, do you dash inside or in a different
direction? I'm going to open the door, right?
Yeah. And it starts creaking as I open it. Yep.
Let's say it is. 75 percent open without a sound.
And then at that last 25 percent, it goes really
loudly. I'm going to tuck behind the door instead
of going out or down with the door open. I'm
going to tuck behind it. Does that make sense?
So like where the hinges corner. So if you're
looking at it dead on, it just looks like an
open door. So if anybody comes out, let me ask
you something. Let me ask you. Oh, this is hard.
Oh, how do I think I know what you're trying
to do. There's literally dice checks for this.
I know what you're doing. It is the equivalent
of opening the store and hiding behind it. Yeah.
Right. I'll even show you. Check this. All right.
Adi gets up from her chair. She opens the door.
She hides behind it. There's a honey here, so
I can't. Sure, sure. And anybody out there would
just see. Open door. Yeah, perfect. Yeah. Love
that. That's good. But the door opens out. We
agree. Right. So you're like it's like a are
you imagining a cellar door or like a door door?
No, like a like a door. Just like that. Just
like that. I'm going to open it to go out. I'm
going to tuck behind it where the hint perfect.
So it is a normal ass door. You open it and you
are tucking behind the door. I just had the literal.
Conundrum of like how do I decide if these characters
check behind the door or like close the door
and go? Oh, there's a person right? Yeah, so
that's called. I think that's just an investigation
check one second. I'm brought to pee my pants,
okay That's literally the investigation skill.
They are gonna check out the sound they heard
do What are you gonna do like under ten they
look behind the door or something like that?
No, I'm going to give her a new self -check because
she's changed the circumstance Yeah, and then
it's gonna be contested my role versus hers.
That's you. Yep Crazy. OK, so I'm on the door.
I'm readying an action. Just beat it. What's
that action you're readying? If something comes
around the door, it's getting stopped. Oh, OK.
So I'm so stressed. I'm going to have you roll
a new stealth check. OK, this is not going to
be an advantage because they heard something.
So they're going to go investigate. Yeah, I'm
going to roll an investigation right now. Do
you want to set the DC for me or do you want
me to tell you what the DC is? I'll tell you
what the DC is. Tell me what the DC is. I don't
want DM powers I am going to roll an investigation
check by self check two guards Okay, not one.
Okay, so it's essentially advantage. Okay, I
have a 15 is my highest Ouch at 13 plus 2 I'm
rolling a self 20 let's go hear the guards both
move in your direction and they say hey someone
must be below deck and They both march quickly
down the stairs. Oh that tells me that there's
nobody below deck, which is beautiful for me
personally I'm watching everything There's if
they're saying there's somebody below deck that
implies to me that there shouldn't be anybody
below deck Okay, let me rephrase this so is our
pass curfew great. Okay, that's fine What's around
me as far as like a door barrels shut pretty
much every direction Barrels crates coils of
rope all of the above cetera all of the above
cannons. Yep. Yep. Cool Not on deck. Yes below
deck Chris as soon as I see the to go below deck
I start to like Either tie a rope to the thing
to belay down or like just slide down the ladder
as best I can Yeah, you can lower yourself very
quickly and I I lower myself to be down there
to be with Keela Seconds after they go down absolutely
the stairs cool Okay, how far from me to the
nearest barrel close walk four feet? Okay, it's
right near the edge of the ship. How heavy is
it? Heavy, it's a barrel. It's pretty full. I
come to help her cool. I You can push it over
and roll it. It's heavy Close the door and put
the barrel in front of it. OK, cool. You roll
it over. I would like to close the door as quietly
as possible, you know, kind of lift it up off
the hinges. Sure. We can say now that we can
say now that, you know, it squeaks, you're able
to. Yeah, exactly. And roll the barrel in front
of it with Chris's help, I imagine. And I'm going
to look at him and I'm going to go. I think there's
too many people on deck for the two of us. So
here's what we're going to do. And I am going
to pull the... You remember when I went shopping?
Yeah. And I bought a whole bunch of vials of
oil. Yeah. Yeah. So I am going to go to the front
of the ship, bow of the ship. I have no idea
what you're about to do. What are you doing?
OK, yeah, you go to the front of this. Don't
worry about it. I'm looking at Chris and I go,
all right, when shit hits the fan, we're going
to move the barrel. But I need them to stay down
there while shit hits the fan. And I am going
to pull out these vials from my coat and I'm
going to start dousing the deck, particularly
piles of rope, any barrels that might have like
gunpowder in them on deck. What is that? What
is what is that? I told you if we're not commandeering
ship, we're causing a problem, right? What? I
don't remember that either. I do not remember
this. I told you it's either going to go my way.
Or we're going to meet the guy who wants to take
us to a party. She did say that. That is canon.
Yeah, OK. That was said. And I'm getting his
fucking attention is what I'm doing. Particularly
so I'm gonna put a couple Splashes of oil down
on the bow and then I'm gonna like climb halfway
up the crow's nest and sort of like Douse the
you have an oil to yeah the main mass you slick
this thing in flammable liquid You prepare for
arson. I see what you're going for. This is a
real Rick and Morty moment, man. Oh, jeez. I'm
going to I'm going to uncoil some rope, douse
the rope so I can do like a little fuse trail.
Right. And I'm pretty sure I bought matches,
too. I bought gunpowder. Oh, I bought matches.
Beautiful. I'm going to furl unfurl this rope.
sort of out towards the ladder to climb down
that we climbed up on, unlike either the port
or starboard side, doesn't matter. And I'm going
to gesture for Chris to help me move the barrel
that's by the door for below deck, because I'm
not trying to, like, incinerate people, you know?
There's too many people on board for me to take
the boat. Yeah. What are you doing? Lighting
the boat on fire. Okay. With everyone below tech,
except the guy in the cross that's tied up with
his only way down into the fire. And he's tied
up. I just don't want them to be I just don't
want them to be trapped below deck, right? Like
that's why I kept the oil concentrated on the
bow and the mast. RIP to the guy in the crow's
nest. I kind of forgot about him, but you know,
it is what it is. I don't know that there's a
guy up there. Maybe they'll save him. No, Chris
told you. Wait, you're not done. You're not there
anymore. Yeah, because I motioned you up there.
And that's why I went up there. Oh, yeah. Anyway,
um, willfully forgot. Okay. Willfully forgot.
And where are you? I am, like, setting this fuse,
and I'm gonna gesture for you to come help me
roll this barrel away from the door so that it's
not blocked, so that these people can get back
out. And it's a barrel of gunpowder? It's heavy.
I don't know. It's a barrel of something. It's
heavy. Did you open it? No. I just blocked the
door with it. That's just a heavy barrel. Okay.
Just a heavy barrel. And I go help her. Yeah.
Okay. You roll the barrel all the way. So, oil
is concentrated on the mast and the very front
of the ship. Okay. And I just follow Kayla because
I didn't know who's gonna get this deep. I thought
we were gonna get a chip Burnish I'm gonna light
a couple matches a couple of them risking this
shit going out and I'm gonna like set them along
the rope and I'm gonna gesture for Chris and
we're gonna get the fuck off this shit. Okay
rope stoused in a little bit of oil. Oh I mean
Yeah, you throw the match And you drop into the
water? Pretty much. Yeah. I'm like a step behind
her. OK. Yeah. I don't know what the fuck to
do otherwise. I'm not staying. I'm not going
to stop her. She's not going to stay on the ship.
On fire. I don't have any chance to stop her
from doing this. And narrate what Keela does
from the moment she's at the edge of the ship.
She swings her legs over the side of the rail
and starts to climb down in the water. And once
she's in the water, she swims back to the dock,
pulls herself out, takes a couple of steps back
like into a shadow and just watches this thing
go up. Okay. I'm not booking it. I need this
guy to find me. What guy? Uh, the guy who enforces
the crimes. Gotcha. Van said Duke crimes. He
shows up. I like I like turn back to look and
and watch like not as hidden. You set this boat
on fire. You watch as it goes up in flame very
quickly and some figures begin jumping off the
side. They're safe. You hear alarms begin to
ring on the shore. and people begin scrambling
out towards the dock with weird devices strapped
to their belt. But you begin to see them run
in mass. First, just one runs the dock and you
see a blast of water begins from this device
on his being before a second runs up and starts
blasting water at the boat. But it seems like
it's a bit futile with the amount of fire that
you've inflicted. And the two of you watch as
even though people sprint to the dock and try
and put this boat out, it goes up in flames.
and eventually the mast snaps and crumbles and
flops into the water. You see the. Oh, you tied
that guy up. He's dead. Tied him up. I didn't
think you were going to light it up. I really
didn't think that was going to happen. And before
you know it, there's a crowd gathering and observing
what is happening. And you and Chris are just
one of. a few hundred bodies on this dock, some
lucky lose some actual guard trying to keep people
back, telling everyone, go home, go back to sleep.
There's nothing to see. Just an accident on the
docks. But typical. That's it. It seems to be
a very normal reaction. I look at her and like
and I say, now what? As Chris says, now what?
The two of you from. Near the wall that you're
leaning up against, there's a corner and around
that corner comes a young looking man with silvery
hair and very, very dark circles under his eyes.
He is pale and he is walking at a brisk pace
that insinuates that he is either late for something
or. Wants to get something over with I go vain
vain And this person stops and turns and looks
at you and they have a different face than vain
their their skin is equally as pale Maybe a little
less green, but they look you up and down and
they say don't you know? It's a crime to waste
an inquisitor's time get out of my way sorry
thought you were someone else and he begins marching
past you to the dock where all of the people
who are shooting water at the boat were and they
very quickly see him coming and get out of his
way as he stands at the edge of the dock and
begins to drop his bag and start putting things
on the ground interesting he's kind of a weirdo
isn't he yeah Want to see what he does. I'm gonna
move a little bit closer to right behind said
weirdo with the silver hair While still being
like kind of hidden or blending in with the crowd
or whatever I think Keela's twirling a match
between kind of like you would spin a pencil
around your finger I think she's spinning matches
around her fingers. Everybody else is busy But
if this guy is like really lasered in on shit,
then Maybe he'll notice maybe not. I don't know
He seems to set a series of items up around him
in a circle. And you see that one of those items
is a candle that he lights. He then takes off
his jacket, folds it and puts it on the ground
next to him. And you see him kneel down onto
his knees and go into a trance as he looks down
at the ground. And you begin to see this snapping,
crackling debris of a ship that is just about
to go beneath the water. begin to reshape itself,
made with ghostly green light. And you see the
shape of the ship and you see it sitting on the
surface of the water, almost like it's replaying
time. You see two or one figure going up the
close side. And through the ghostly mist, you
see another figure going up the other side. One
looks like a rabbit. One falls backwards into
the water, Kayla. And I like to go. Keyleth,
it's definitely time to go right now. I see you.
I hear you. I see what's happening. You see them
climb onto the deck. You see the sails of the
ship begin to shake quickly as if time is elapsing
faster. And then suddenly the ship dissipates.
The man stands up straight and whips over to
the left and says, them! I run! Get them! I run!
Yeah, I'm a bucket. I run and I'm really fast.
You guys start to run. We cut back to a blink.
Dang it. In front of a you went too fast. In
front of a figure crossing his smoky arms as
he gained some semblance of a figure, his facial
features aren't totally in view as they are mostly
smoke. But you see his demeanor is stiff in judging.
And he says, well, speak up. Blink glares at
him for just a moment. I think I almost died
today. And that's not anything new, but it made
me think. And I hate you. Get his ass. The figure
doesn't move. And you deserve to die. So. I wish.
No damn That you will die one day and when you
do It's because I kill you the figure stands
before you for a second And he says you know
These never go the way you want them to Are you
sure that's how you want to waste a wish too
late now, huh? The genie snaps his fingers and
stands in front of you. His expression not changed.
He lingers in silence before he says, I don't
think you thought that through. But you have
two more wishes, boy. I'm going to pick up the
lamp and I'm going to walk through him. He looks
down at his smokey forearm and spins around to
look at you. And then I'm gonna put my hand on
the door handle. I'm just gonna look back. You're
a bastard. And I'm gonna open the door and walk
out. And I'm gonna go knock on B .O .B.'s door.
B .O .B., you're gonna knock on your door. Hello?
Hey, B .O .B. Hi. Can we talk for a second, buddy?
Sure. Hold that thought, Doug. I'm gonna kind
of look at Doug like... He talks. So we talked
about secrets, right, B .O .B.? Yeah. I don't
want to keep any more secrets. Oh, OK. But there's
something I want to offer for you. Oh, cool.
So. The Oracle A2. Yeah, he said that. Chris
and Keela. They're gonna have a good fate no
matter what Yeah There's two wishes left in this
lamp. Okay, and I was gonna ask you and Vane
if you wanted to change your fate or to make
a wish No, huh? You have the chance That did
get us. That was nice. That's just for me. That's
my favorite Disney movie. Yeah, I can make a
wish. But B .O .B., you have to be really careful.
You're so, so smart. I know that. And you have
to... You have to pick your words very carefully.
Hold on, hold on, son. Are you trying to give
away a wish to this thing? He's my friend. Oh,
the genie followed me. Yeah, he's connected to
the lamp. You didn't know he was until just now.
You have to be careful, B .O .B. Okay. I think
I can be careful. And it might be something you
want to think about. No, not really. I hated
the lamp. Just one, B .O .B. I can make anything.
And I can wish for anything. Anything. Anything.
Whatever you want, but be careful. I trust you.
But this thing has a genie. Yes. And that genie
is bad. He's very bad. And you don't like him.
Not in the slightest. Why? Do you have parents,
B .O .B.? Comments are kind of weird. We don't
really have parents. We have people that just
keep us alive. Okay, okay. And who's your person
that keeps you alive? Well, it was one of the
Matriarchs, and then it was Hoarder. Hoarder?
Yeah. Is he nice to you? Yeah, he's really nice
to me. He's like, I guess he'd be like the closest
thing to people having dads. Okay. So the genie,
he basically killed my hoarder. That's awful.
Hold on son, is that what you think happened?
That's what I know happened. No. No, I didn't
kill anyone. No, your parents were too bullheaded
to stay away from a good time at the risk of
death. He's a liar, B .O .B. Don't listen to
him. A liar? Oh, I promise you son, I'm telling
you the truth. Can I call you son? Oh Gosh this
can only end badly my father is a bad man But
you're the worst thing I've ever met What about
your mom? I Never met my mom BoB his magic did
this to me and he killed her Your mother's choice
is Gilder, not me. My mother was a good woman.
A great woman, a good time to hang out with too.
She does not. However, people uh, well kid everyone
thinks they're the exception. I told them what
would happen if they stuck around and they took
the risk. In fact, they were willing to trade
you for a good time. When I thought all of this
would go bad, I thought it would be the baby
who would be lost, but it turns out that was
one strong baby. Maybe that's my fault. Can't
help but spread the good genes, you know? Not
the Sidney Sweeney, American V -sign. Not the
good genes, no. The genie does look like Sidney
Sweeney this whole time. He goes, sorry, that's
a different time. Huh. Son, before you go altering
reality, do you want to maybe... Read a book
and get some facts straight. Hell, you can ask
her yourself. What do you mean? Well, and he
snaps his fingers and a scroll hits the ground
in front of you. Speak with dead. Ever heard
of it? Oh, it's party time. No way. See for yourself.
See if you want to throw everything else away.
I mean, it's already too late for you, kiddo.
You made a bad wish, but you can still save your
friends. What do you mean you made a bad wish?
It was so vague! You hope you kill me one day,
I die one day, and it's at your hands? What happens
to you? Anything I damn well please. Oh, that's
easy then. What do you mean that's easy, B .O
.B.? Well, I just... My wish. I just... When
does the wish start? Do I say, I wish, and then,
B .O .B.? Has it started yet? I'm scared. I don't
know how this thing works. Anyways say that was
not your wish. That's not my wish. Okay, perfect.
Oh, okay Be ob yeah, no be careful. I got it.
No. No your wish is your wish. Oh, I mean my
decision I don't have anything to wish for everything's
great And you could just back pocket this one
no You said you made a mistake. So then I can
use my wish to unmistake your mistake. I didn't
make a mistake BoB No, yeah. Well, clearly you
did, because he said you didn't. But he is a
liar. He is a liar. I guess he just doesn't value
his own life. Well, I do. So that makes that
easy. As I clear my throat and get myself prepared.
Oh, my God. Here we go. Hey, did you ever think
that we would burn through three wishes the session
after you give us the genie? No. All right. Cool.
Fire away, B .O .B. Don't interrupt this thing.
No. I rub it anyways. Stop that. The genie moans.
Stop it. Stop. Stop cheating. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry. I wish that Blink's wish happens with
no negative repercussions, that he fulfills the
deed of killing you. And it's by his hands. And
he lives happily ever after. The end. Brilliant
work. Kid reads too many fairy tales. Yeah. Sorry,
guy. Genie guy. He snaps his fingers. This has
been riveting. Oh, I guess it's Vane's turn.
B .O .B., thank you. Yeah. Blink is crying a
little bit. Oh, it's OK. Kid, he didn't do shit.
You think this dumbass goblin just fixed your
mistake? Well, yeah. You're my mistake. Well,
like, you're mine. Hey, man. That's not nice.
Come on, B .O .B. Let's find Vane. Yeah. I hand
him back the... Oh, he takes a little... And
he's gonna put his arm over B .O .B. We're gonna
walk out into the hole? Yeah. Yeah, cool. To
Vane's room? And then we're gonna go knock on
Vane. Cool. What is it? Fuck. I look over you
what you were making wishes with a genie Do you
see the genie standing there cross -armed? Okay,
Vane, we could explain this one. Remember earlier
when we were like talking and I said something
about not making deals with a mystical entity?
No. I still stand by my belief there that you
always end up on the short end of the stick.
No, I fix it. Especially with this fucking asshole.
He looks like he puts his arms out like what?
You don't even know me. You look like the most
self -centered of all genies that I have come
across, which is not. I don't know what I'm talking
about. That's what he went for a second. I think
we need to be best friends. What are you doing
with this? Making wishes. What did you wish for?
Wow. And he recaps everything that happened.
And that's what I wished for. Oh my God. And
here's the thing. We're the only ones whose fates
aren't secured. I just wanted to give you and
B .O .B. a chance. I made what I wanted to wish
for and B .O .B. he chose his to help me. Are
you offering me a wish? Yeah, I want you to have
the last one. I do not accept Oh Chris you want
a rock -paper -scissors? After tonight, I have
a strange feeling that I became what you see
right now before you, because I wished for something
badly. Like you weren't. Do we know he's a vampire?
I think in the same way vampires exist in our
pop culture, they exist in quells. But if anyone
walking down the street of quells saw him, They'd
be like, oh, it's one of those vamp kids, Christ,
you know? They would never assume he was a real
vampire, let alone the fact that he's walking
around in the day, you know? So you weren't,
like, always edgy? He hit 13 and things just
sort of changed for you? What? I don't know what
I was like before a certain time. I know that
I'm not alive. My skin is cold to the touch.
I need to feed on human blood. It's a curse.
Yes, go on. Actually? Yes. I haven't done it
around anyone yet, but that's the truth. In fact,
Vayne, as you have this conversation, I think
you are starting to feel 48 hours without having
something to eat. Tired and tired is not something
you get but for the first time I would say that
you are probably going to have a single level
of exhaustion then you're a Zombie No dragon
a ghost closer Not really. I know what you are.
Say it! You're a goblin! He's a goddamn vampire,
guys! Yeah, that's right. Yeah, he's a vampire.
I'm not yelling at you. I have very low expectations
for you. My son on the other hand. Out of character?
Oh shit. Heavy words to be thrown around. No
son of yours is here. Think I just granted a
wish that said that my son was gonna kill me
if you're not my son then I guess Maybe I granted
the wrong wish and I should undo that one You
know as a genie, I kind of wait the call wishes
if We don't wish for anything else. Does this
asshole just stick around? Oh You think that?
Last time we just annoyed him enough and he went
away. I can leave whenever I want. Oh, okay.
Okay, just check There are like four of these
lamps I just had a brain blast. Yeah, what happened?
It would require taking one of your wishes. Okay,
I'm really hesitant to wish for anything else,
but yeah, go for it. Let's hear the pitch. I
totally defer to your knowledge. Let's hear the
pitch. Hypothetically, if we're going to make
a, you know... Don't still don't really know
the rules of this if I say it in an accident
a good job If you make a you know and they wish
for there to be no more these guys period What
happens what happens to me? Technically speaking
you're not a genie He's a genie. I don't think
that would work. I think your second wish to
reinforce the first wish, already enough, already
overkill. Fair enough. So, why don't we just
leave this to rest for now? Great, are we done
here? Yeah, why are you still here? Okay. Hey,
Watley, pour me a line. And he dissipates into
dust. His other genie friends, I guess. I turn
to blink immediately and I'm like, I don't...
No, that's going to work, how you think. But
I will help make sure it does. Yeah, me too.
And you're insured. Happy ending. Thank you,
brothers. Ah, well, Vane, since this is your
wish, you hang on to this. I'm a hand in the
lamp. Kayla thinks I have it anyway, so she wouldn't
try to rob you for it. Oh, good idea. Tuck it
away. How do like how do you think he could twist
it against you at this point? It's like I Think
he's gonna try to kill me at the end anyway,
but it won't matter. He'll be gone Vain Vain
tosses you a smile and was like hey, I said a
wish for you to be immortal Hey, we still have
a third wish Do the others know? As you say,
do the others know we hard jump cut sprinting?
I didn't think we were coming back to a scene
of Kila and Chris sprinting through the streets.
You hear the clack of armor as people are sprinting
behind you, chasing you back. You are close to
the glass stallion. I'm going to have you both
give me one more stealth check. However, this
is a group self check between the two of you.
You are taking the worst of the two. What? Can
I flavor this at all before I take a check? Please
do. Please. I mean, gosh, I look to kill it.
I'm like, let's try to throw them off and like.
Gosh, I run past the glass stallion. OK, and
and I'm going to try to like dodge in and out
of alleys in between buildings and stuff and
down other streets and loop back around. to like
the back of the glass town, is it like a back
entrance commonly used? That's good. Give me
a self check. I'll lower the D .C. because you
have a plan. How close in addendum to that? How
close are the buildings together in this part
of town? Are they like roof to roof or they become
roof to roof when you get to the shades? But
right at the beginning, no, they're pretty far
apart. OK. At what point do you split off, Chris?
Split off? We're not splitting off. At what point
do you start bobbing and weaving? Is it when
we hit the shades? It's when we get close to
the glass stallion, right? Yeah, I mean the glass
stallion is in the shades. Yeah, I mean we're
So we run straight until we hit the shades and
then you start taking evasive maneuvers. Where
are you trying to go? Up. She starts climbing
the buildings. I don't know what you're going
up for. We're splitting up. Cool. Keela, give
me a self check at advantage. Chris give me a
self -check. I'm just gonna change the DC for
you. Okay. Oh What'd you get dude? Not one. Ooh
My first roll is a natural 20. Okay. I have an
inspiration. I don't have any brother John Can
I have one from if blank has a blink has one
more you can have it. I owe you I have zero That's
very good. Thank you, bro What am I ruling stealth?
Yes Come on Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy. That's
a blink John Ham Kiela and Chris split up but
do a magnificent job of covering their tracks
and disappearing in the night You're both you
climb up you find a a back route to to tuck away
and you hear the guards run past you and keep
going The two of you don't necessarily regroup.
I think, Chris, you enter the glass stallion
before Keela, but Keela is right behind you within
a minute. You guys made it home, luckily, with
no arrests. As an aside, I don't know if I would
go straight back to the glass stallion. Then
you don't have to. OK, so, Chris, you... I go
to the glass stallion. Yeah, I figured because
you're going around there. As soon as I'm 100
% sure no one's following me, I lost the trail.
Sneaking back to the glass stallion and I'm going
to bed. Cool. That was a lot. I think I think
you guys come back post the genie debacle because
of time. Sure. Chris is going to be pissed. Yeah.
The wish is to know. Where do you go? I'm in
a sort of you don't have to tell anyone to come
up. I make, you know, my getaway. And then I
think I loop back down around. I'm not trying
to go back to like the crime scene, crime scene,
but sort of. What it sounds like you are? Adjacent
to it security is up in this area. Yeah, I imagine
I I want to sort of find a Pier or like a dock
or something that doesn't have a bunch of people
in security walking by is that possible? Yep,
cool on a far side though. You're not that near
it if you want no one around People are covering
the perimeter very heavily, okay I'm gonna go
outside that perimeter. I'm gonna go find like
a pier a dock. I'm gonna sit down. I think I
pull out the business card and like Smack it
down on the dock next to me. I'm like, this is
a fucking waste of time. Like that's so irritating
I want to sort of sit crisscross down and Hang
my hand over the edge of the dock and see if
I can get any of that sort of feeling that I'm
used to getting on my ship outside of bentho.
Yeah, the waters. Yeah, you still get that same
resonation with the water. Cool. I'm just going
to hang out with it. Cool. We cut that scene
with you interacting with the ocean, somewhat
playing with the tide almost. Just when you come
back to being done with her, I have something
cool. Anything else? Just watching. I think I
pick up the business card and I go, this is a
waste of my fucking time and I'm going to hook
it in the water. OK. It goes in the water. And
that's it for me, I think. What do you mean it
goes in the water? I don't need it. When I get
back to the glass tally and I'm going to check
the bush to see if anyone has taken the letter.
When you get back, it's been maybe an hour. It's
gone. It's gone? Yep. I go to the alley right
now just to see if there's anybody there. No
one's there. I go to bed. Go back inside and
you go to bed. Cool. Anyone else? Cool. I think
we'll call it. Unless... I mean, you're staring
at me like you want to say more. I have a quick
question. When the genie left, did the speak
with dead scrolls still stay there? Yep. I take
it. Cool. I just want to note that I have that.
Okay. I think I would just end my night... I
haven't gotten to do it in a while. Doing my
charcoal paintings. Oh, very cute. Nice. Cause
I got my little piece of charcoal. Very good.
And B .O .B. Yeah, this, this isn't a secret,
but sometimes friends, sometimes friends go through
things in private together, right? And it's better
to that it stays between those friends. Yeah.
Yeah. So what happened tonight with the Genie
and me and you and Vayne, Chris and Keyla? They
weren't a part of it, so they don't need to know
about it. It would just make things harder for
them. No, I I understand. You know, I think it
would it would hurt their feelings and we don't
we don't want to do that. No. Or it would scare
them. Yeah. No, it's a secret. But it's a secret
that's necessary. He can learn. He is growing
up too fast. But what if we made the genie sign
the book for the thing? Without creating a perpetual
loop where they are constantly making pacts with
one another. That is a fascinating idea. Is that
a paradox? Wait, you know what a paradox is?
Mean this one says I like big boats, and I cannot
lie