Guess we'll record a cold open real quick because
I have a little game should I close the door
and also kick the dogs out? No, okay? We're just
doing a little thing Cold open it's a little
warm in here, bro. I have the air don't Take
one of these For the audience Sean is passing
around an opaque little leather bag That has
something inside of it. It's just D sixes. It's
D sixes. You can look at it. It won't mean anything
to you. Take one and pass it down until you tell
us it will. This will determine something. Yeah.
So if you want to know, if you must know, someone's
going to try and communicate with you guys. But
that's based on who you don't. You don't get
a pick. I don't get to choose. I can choose not
to take the last one I want. It doesn't matter.
Look. OK. And now, Tim has the one I want. Does
anybody want to trade? I have the die that a
fairy farted in. Guys, guys, let's... Guys, come
on. Kyle. No trades, no trades. I'm going to
roll this d6 in front of me now. And guys, I
need you. I'm going to roll this d6. And on my
phone, I took a series of photos of all of the
dice that you are holding. and each one of them
has a unique face. So I took a picture of one
of these dice with a one, one of them with a
two, one with a three, one with a four, one with
a five, one with a six, or whatever six is represented
by on the die. That being said, I'm now going
to roll the six -headed die that I have, get
a number for, and I'm going to go through my
pictures of die and see which one has a four.
Interesting. I'm now going to look at all your
die. Sean looked at the first die and went. Yep.
That's the one Yeah, that's the one I don't need
to see the rest Stare at Avi that entire time.
I rolled a four and just stared at Avi's eyes
So one of these guys just got their their little
fate sealed or at least a visit from a friend.
That's cool. Yay Let's give you some heads up
into the episode before I hit stop here And we
all just take a second to think about question
of the day, you know go outside we like we do
But we just left the fight pits. We fought an
Icarus monster that erupted from the thing that
being killed. It quickly tried to get to the
lead room, blink tanked it, died, got back up
instantly with a one. We killed it. And then
Ardriel said, come with me to the library. You'll
have answers soon. You went to the library. You
are on your own now. So I asked you all a question
earlier today, a question you want to know, an
answer you want to know. We have a lot of questions
from just the game, the episodes we ran already,
or we have questions from people's backstories
that maybe you want to get ahead of. Either way,
you also have a magic lamp and technically you
don't have to be here, but I don't know how you
would leave. So that's all I got. Anyone got
any thoughts or want to tag anything on before
we adjourn this little meeting? Make it noted
that this is our first recorded podcast since
releasing episodes. So a lot of episodes down
the line. I know when they listen to this episode.
Seriously, we released a week ago. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, on the first. So yeah, we could go seven
days. Exactly. So let that be maybe inspirational
to anyone working on something because we're
I have no idea what episode this is. We recorded
them all. It's got to be like nine or ten or
something. I am guessing it's eight, nine or
ten. One of those three. So we gamble on it.
That's kind of incredible. Yeah, wait, no, you
know, no, never mind. You can I control it. Yeah,
cool. Everyone ready? Yes. Yeah, I'm ready. More
or less. Does everyone remember whose turn it
is for the sesh question? No, more or less. Six
twenty four. Let's say 635. We are going to come
back inside and we're just going to get started.
Cool. That question. Cool. Boom I just say go
we are recording episode blank. We'll see if
that bet goes through cow. I feel like it's Call
your shot Audrey pots. I Think it's eight. Okay.
I think this is episode eight I'll be I was blown
away when I saw on social media that We started
talking about this over a year ago. Yeah, it
was July 2024 Shit, was that where you talked
about the mixer? Oh, you've been talking about
this. That feels so wrong. Yeah, I know. It feels
like a crime anyway. No, just like that. That's
the time doesn't. Time keeps moving. Time keeps
moving. It's quick, ain't it? Holy moly. I can't
remember the first time you told me about it.
I think it was like in September, October or
something like that. Yeah. I mean, it's probably
about the same time I told Tim and Garrison.
And that was after we went through the Western.
Avi and I had whole characters. Backstories and
everything we were talking about at work. We
were going to be siblings. It was going to be
sick. What? It was a lot of the same dynamics
we have currently. Except I was cooler and I
was drunker. We have episodes. I can fix one
of my things Who says that Kiela and BoB aren't
siblings though Kiela's half -goblin It would
explain a lot of her personality failures actually
yeah, okay, so I have a fun Because this is a
role play episode I like I like to do a bit of
a role play question at the beginning So that
is going to be not for yourself But for the person
to your right and if the person you write is
me you're gonna skip me You are going to answer
about the person to your right what you think
their worst character flaw is I've been informed
that we should do this in character. So we're
not mean to each other It mitigates the mean
exactly a little bit honestly Chris can say whatever
he wants to me. Chris, don't give a shit. Kyle
cannot. Yeah, I'll cry. Yeah, I know. Chris is
a fucking kind of keeps a lot of stuff. That's
why I play. So I can. That's a whole that's a
whole other talk tells episode. Fucking funny.
What is the therapy one? Oh, yeah, that's. I
think we should do the question of the day now.
Yeah. One, two, three, four, five. If it's a
six, I'm going to pick five. Oh, all right. Okay,
so you're going to tell me so to my right is
Tim who plays Blink and Yeah nuts dang Blink
if I could just sit you down and let you know
You just gotta let that shit go man Listen I
know I know okay, but but I think Chris just
wants blink to be a little bit more happy -go
-lucky carefree he is he is already still i think
just like the things that trouble him hold too
much power over him preach yeah that's good that's
what i would say that's what i would tell him
yeah yeah and what's great is blink can't say
anything back to me this is great i'm gonna love
it until it comes back around and obby tells
Tells me I'm a jackass. All right, Tim. Good
luck. There's nothing wrong with me. What's a
pick? It was on a giant file folder. What mean
things does Blink have to say about Keila? Pick
one. The question is one and it's greatest character
flaw. Keila, she just... She thinks she's too
cool, okay? She's too above to just admit that
we're friends and she doesn't like to play games
or hang out and all she does is talks about how
annoying I am or how she just wants to leave
and go do her own thing. But I just, we're a
family. Oh, we've known each other 48 hours,
brother. That's great. Well, Keila? All right.
Vane? You need to grow a motherfucking backbone,
mate. You're the most passive motherfucker I've
ever met in my life, and it would really do you
some good to, like, stand up straight, tuck your
shoulders back a wee bit, and actually, like,
do something and, like, stand firm on your own
convictions about things instead of waiting for
somebody to point at you, make fun of you, and
then go, yeah, whatever. Yeah, sure. I'm just
a vampire guy. Oh no. I can't say anything back.
That is the most brutal part, isn't it? That
you actually can't say anything back. Even leaving
the underworld wasn't your idea. It was your
girlfriends. Dang. And you said Josh, you're
okay. Spicy. Straight to the heart, man. All
right. Vane. Yobi. Hi! I mean, Goblin. He's very
sweet. He's useful enough in his own right, but
very naive. He will get himself in trouble. He
might get others and himself hurt really badly.
And yeah, he's like a toddler that we constantly
have to babysit at all times. So there you have
it. Hey, thanks. All right. B .O .B, how do you
feel about Chris? What's his biggest flaw? Bring
it. Chris, I think you're great. I think you
I think you just did a great job with what you
did with. Blink and that was great. Wait, what
is the question? Yeah. Yeah, I knew they in character
part would be hard for you. I'd be if you have
to get out of character to be mean. Go ahead.
No, no, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. You don't get past
just because. Oh, no. That's how I want to flavor.
You made the rule. You were the only one benefiting
from it. So no. Oh, wait. Character flaw. Yeah.
As in they're flawed in a way. Yeah. OK. Hit
me. All right. I'm going to hit. Not literally.
No, not literally, but figuratively down. What
the drill down. Chris, you seem to say words,
but when you say those words, those words don't
really mean what they mean. So like it's a lot
of you're saying the words, but I know you don't
mean those words. And I don't really know what
that's called, but it's not nice. This just in,
Chris's greatest flaw according to B .O .B. is
sarcasm. Yeah, you got a lot of that. So maybe
you should just say what you mean and what you
feel. And then everyone else around you will
feel better about it, too. Noted. I don't think
we feel better. Just so we're entirely clear,
none of this is canon. None of you remember having
this conversation didn't happen. So when we suddenly
start in this episode, you are not mad at each
other for the mean things you said. Not for the
mean things we said. Well, you might be for other
reasons. I feel like we're chilling right now,
actually. We're in a good little spot. You think
so? I feel like we're OK. All right. Mostly.
I think somebody may have said something about
me not knowing how to read. And that's not fair
because I do. But other than that, are you willing
to prove it? I don't have to prove shit to you.
Someone make her prove it. What does this say?
He's holding up three fingers. What does this
say? You're so smart. Oh. All right. So where
are we left off? Ardriel, the elf that took you
to this mystical library that you have very little
information about. Does anyone remember anything
about this library? Honestly, no. Like a shit
ton of books and that's it. Cool, shit ton of
books. Floor to ceiling, like bookshelves. It's
mystical. So these bookshelves don't quite have
physics to you. They are a glittery gold dust
that only starts to take form as they get within
a few feet of you. So as you reach your hand
out towards a bookshelf, it will gain form and
you can read the books. But as you take your
hand away, the books just become this faint golden
dust outline that you can walk through, or more
so it will move through you. are mostly just
standing in place as you see Ardriel disappear.
Surrounded by gold dust bookshelves, none of
them looking material. There is a table that
has physics and you can touch and interact with
and some chairs around it as well as paper and
pencils. And that's all that is here. Is there
anybody else in the library? Is like, is there
anybody? Like keeper of the books or like at
this moment, the card, you don't see anyone around.
OK. If you look in any direction in 360 degrees,
it's just rows of bookshelves. There's no exit
clear to you now. This is great. Very helpful.
And they gave us no guidance. This is probably
the most boring place I've ever been in in my
life. I wonder why that is. It's because I got
better things to do than like sit around and
flip pages. Where are we exactly? A library B
.O .B. I think that's what they called it. What's
that? About 50 times. You see those things on
those shelves right there sure yeah, those are
called books. Oh What do you do with them? I
thought you open them and you gain knowledge.
Oh Okay, I'm gonna go is be over grabbing a book.
Yeah guys. I'm sorry I just had an epiphany,
but the first NPC we had I named mark and I just
realized that the only word on this board is
mark I think I might need to sit down. What does
that mean? It means I'm not creative at all.
And I just said the first word that I saw Mike
as in, as it looks in the mic. No, it marks the
track. It's a button that marks the track. So
for editing. Yeah. Yeah. And I, yeah, I'm just
a little embarrassed. You never had to tell us.
Well, and now you have it recorded. It would
have haunted me the rest of the night if I hadn't
said anything right now. It still will. Don't
worry. So what's the action going on? B .O .B.
was told that those books you open them and you
learn something. So, yeah, he's going to go grab
a book and learn something. OK, B .O .B. turns
towards the nearest bookshelf, takes one step
and like a rubber banding in a video game in
a second, you see him. Zip down one of these
hallways as he as if he is whisked away from
like a cane on a cartoon pulling someone off
stage he just Disappears in the distance your
point of view He's out of view he quickly became
a dog Can you hear me in your point of view yeah,
you reach towards a book And as you reach towards
the book, those shelves, the dust sort of separates
at the point that you are coming closest and
separates in every direction to reveal actual
physical books, bound leather tomes. And you
just grab the first one you see. There's let's
say there's three, a big, a medium, a small.
What do you take? Let's go small. You grab the
smallest book and you pull it off the shelf.
Small guy, small book. And what was your answer
to the homework? Oh, yes, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
So my answer to my homework actually was Was
it Audrey or was it the combo of Audrey saying
it and garrison putting his finger up and actually
okay, so the answer to my homework is sort of
related to everyone else's homework. And I know
this sounds like a cheat answer. This is something
I thought long and hard about. Okay. Just now?
No, no, no. I thought about this when the question
was asked. Gotcha, gotcha. And I really had to,
you know, soul search for B .O .B. There is nothing
that he thinks that he needs to know. That's
awesome. He has no idea of what he does not know.
He thinks he knows everything he needs to know.
Okay. So there is nothing more for him to want.
However, he would love to know what his friends
want to know because that helps them. But in
this situation where he doesn't have someone
to bounce off of, he then has to come up with
something. So. Okay. B .O .B. You reach for a
book. There's three in front of you. All of them
are innocuous as the next. But as you pull this
small book off the page it's bound in white leather
you see that the pages themselves the edges of
the pages are gleaming a brilliant amethyst that
that seems to catch the light it's an incredibly
pretty book and the camera would see your face
as you flip this book around and there's no title
on the cover okay just a blank white book with
purple pages looks kind of tasty actually I'm
not gonna engage with that. Can I, can I open
it? Yeah. Yeah. I just flip open. I just open.
Great. Wherever it breaks. Give me a charisma
saving throw. Fucking amateur hour. I don't have
any dice out. That's okay. We'll just wait. I
know you said it's okay. We'll just wait. But
it doesn't feel like it's okay. Oh, okay. That's
a... Five. Nice. With a juicy five. What's your
base charisma? It is 14, so yeah, plus two. It
was a whole three. With a juicy five, the camera
cuts to a loud scream, and that scream sounds
a lot like... Help me! Oh! No, you're not here.
Oh. As we cut back to the other group. And I
just listen. Can I hear him? Nope. Does he hear
me? Nope. Fuck. Alright, well that kind of solves
one problem for us Hey blink go touch a book
for me real quick, please Yeah What do you think
I'm doing like hold my hand I reach up someone
go touch a book which direction you go touch
a book. You're grabbing a book No, I'm telling
key let do okay. Well, if we get a book, maybe
we'll go to be OB I'm gonna start saying go touch
a book like go kick rocks. Go touch a book. Go
touch grass. I guess you could touch a book.
I'm gonna choose to believe that that's not because
you want to be gone. You can choose to believe
whatever you want. I'll tell you straight up.
I'm sort of like on the fence about you still
so like if you touch a book I'm not gonna cry
about it. On the fence is kind of like you know.
She thinks you're really cool. We're getting
up there. Yeah. I said, I said. You're higher
than anybody else. Were we told to all stick
together? Were we? I wasn't listening. We took
one step. Anyway, despite the insult, I will
read a book. Where did I insult you? So you say,
where did I insult you? And Vane puts his hand
out towards the nearest bookshelf. Vane, what
was your answer to the homework? My answer was,
I want to know more about the last conversation
I had with Maeve, which would have been, who
is the archaeologist that was investigating ancient
dwarven stuff. You reach for the book and everyone
sees the same spectacle as Vane turns and is
just same direction, zipped away, different direction.
In fact, he just phases through Keela and whips
off in that direction. All right. Blank. Hold
on, Vane. From your point of view, you reach
out towards the shelf and they all remain. translucent
dust, except for exactly one. And it's a leather
bound tome of great thickness. This thing is
like wink like I was like, oh, it's so inappropriate.
I was just trying to get ahead of it, truthfully.
It was four inches thick. And it is the only
one presenting itself to you. Just dark crimson
leather. Of course, I'll open it. Cool first
page. Yeah, so you open the book and the front
page says return to Torvald Moss quell 123 Monkey
Street Just uh noted Flip the next page. This
is someone's journal Someone as you begin to
like at a base level observe this book. You're
not reading each page, but you see that this
is a journal that had the pages ripped out and
then stuck into a larger book and then done again
and again and again. And it seems whoever kept
this book before wanted everything in one place.
So there are easily thousand one to two thousand
pages of this book handwritten. Some pages are
entirely drawings. Others are clearly arcana
that you don't. Understand at a glance there
is some stuff you do understand you are not a
wizard though, right? No, correct. We will talk
about some stuff with this book, but we're gonna
cut away from you for now All right, let's keep
this pace going you next then no, I don't think
I'll be scared I'm not scared. Are you scared?
No, I'm worried about keeping this group together.
All right, then go touch the book and find where
the other shoe went Unlike you, I actually care
about them, Kelo. You're so right. Go ahead,
touch a book. I glare at her and I reach out
for a book. Is your intent to find your friends
right now? Yes. Roll me any die. Tell me if it's
evens or odds. Odds you find B -O -B, evens you
find vain. Oh, shit. Three. Let's go. Do you
have any? Gems? Yeah, give me one and reroll
it. He wants you to find Vein! Or he doesn't
want you to find B .O .B. Keep taking them. Oh,
true, true. Go ahead and roll again. Four. Cool.
I could give you another one. You have the opportunity
to do the funnest thing right now. It's not that
funny. That is pretty funny. I took one of your
cursed rocks to reroll that, so instead of B
.O .B. it whisks you off to Vein. You see him...
Totally fine. Reading from a very thick crimson
bound book. Oh my god, Vayne! Is B .O .B. here?
What? You just kind of vanished. I think that's
how this library works. How did you get here?
I was just thinking about you and... I thought
about B .O .B. for a sec, but then I was more
worried about like where you were. Okay, so I
think that's vain blush He does have blood we've
been over this his cheeks get a little more pale
Yeah noticeably but then you see vain he looks
at you and he's like I Think whatever you're
thinking about this library adapts to it if that
makes sense or oh Takes you there. What book
are you reading? I don't know. It seems like
a journal. I'm trying to figure it out. Well,
what were you thinking about? I was thinking
about the last conversation I had with someone.
Oh. Is this like their journal? I don't think
so. i think it's related i think i'll need more
time yeah maybe we could get you like a library
card and you could check it out for a little
bit how long are we gonna be here uh i don't
know that lady just kind of vanished too so yeah
that was not cool should we should we try looking
for b .o .b yeah can you take the book with you
yeah i i closed the book i'll go along with you
i Grab Vayne's hand and I reach for a book thinking
of B .O .B. We're gonna cut back and go back
to Chris and Keela. Great. You next. I just look
at her. You know, you understand that you're
smarter than everybody else that just went and
grabbed a book, yeah? I feel like you know that
about yourself. Oh, you're just going to not
talk then? Is that how it's going to be? You
know, I'm pretty sure that we made a killing
back in the fight pits and I talked to the elf
and Elf said that we're still gonna get paid
out, which is pretty good I'm not really sure
how much those things kind of go for it. You're
just gonna be boring. Aren't you? You're just
gonna stand here and let your buddies Go disappear
and not even go after them by CBO be and I tell
them Oh Chris Chris just wanted to stand there
in silence and not do anything to go find you.
He's gonna cry. He's gonna cry and it'll be your
problem. Are you gonna go find a book? Are you
just gonna chill here? I'm not just chill here.
I got no reason to go wandering. Neither of you
have to go get a book. That is okay. I can cut
away. I'm gonna go try and find an exit. Okay.
Notably, Keela does not leave. I am gonna poke
at the edges a little bit and I'm gonna fire
an arrow into the bookshelf. Whoa! Interesting.
Okay. Ow! And see what happens. You knock an
arrow and shoot it in a direction out into the
rows of bookshelves and it basically dissipates
where the arrow goes through for a second before
reconjoining as the arrow goes soaring into the
distance. Dang it. That was cool though. I like
the angle of violence. That was fun. Got any
other fun tricks my favorite angle. Yeah, me
too What the violent one? What do you mean? What?
Okay? Yeah, I think I will Start going in any
direction Looking for a keeper of the library.
No. No, I'm gonna I'm gonna go in the direction
looking for a book I'm gonna go reach for a book.
All right. Well That sort of solves that problem
for me point Keyla. She high -fives herself All
right, I I'm talking to myself, but you know
what I could use an intelligent conversation
for once What should I do? What should I do?
I should I Might go try and find the elf or an
exit, but elf is hot. I'm hot Yeah, I'm gonna
go find the elf Is the elf Ardriel? Yeah, Elvis
super Ardriel. Okay, I'm gonna Wander off in
the direction of Ardriel. I have I don't know
like lingering questions about things, but I'm
not super book -driven Yeah, I mean big things
are Shipping a crew. What's the best way to do
that in the place that I'm in right now? Okay,
you get whisked away from where you are. I didn't
even touch a Boy, I was looking for the hot elf.
Yeah. But as you moved in the direction towards
the hot elf, you said you had questions you wanted
answered. Sure. Those questions that you want
answered are going to get answered, but not by
the elf. The questions I want answered from the
elf is like, are you single? Are you seeing anybody?
Are you interested? Could just be one night.
Not a big deal. Right. But what I'm saying is
this library can't take you to our right now.
100 percent. We're chilling. Very good. What
it does is it takes you to some very boring manuals.
In front of you, you see a book that says the
Quell Docs social code, as well as an index in
the back for all of the departments that are
like temp offices, so to speak, for sailors.
They're agencies that connect sailors with crews.
It's a pretty thin, like, brochure, realistically.
The big font, big typeface. It's like aerial
36 point. All right, cool. I'm gonna tuck it
in my, I'm gonna like fold it up like really
just kind of shittily and like tuck it in a pocket.
All right. Well, that's me. I guess I just keep
wandering. Cool. You try to move around more
with no intent. Um, you can have no intent. It
just you actually walk when you have no intent.
Yeah, I think I just actually walk I think I'm
just wandering around sort of like vaguely looking
for Ardriel not looking for any of these guys
Like for somebody else to talk to maybe sure
give me a Survival check to try and gain any
sense of bearings in this place one gotcha You
just walk through rows and rows and rows and
rows for a little bit when we come back. We'll
do something Chris, you got something for me?
I do. Cool. What was the answer to your homework?
The answer to the homework is I want to know
about my race, I guess, because I've either very
rarely or never seen another Heron gun. If you've
seen one, you never got to have a conversation.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That kind of makes episode
one a little bit more fucked up, where it's like,
have you always looked this way? He's like, I
don't know. Exactly. It's like an actual sensitive
subject for him. I have questions about my origins
that I don't know about. Absolutely. And want
to know. And obviously I probably can't find
who's my mom and dad in this library, but yeah.
You reach out and go to grab a book. Keyless
sees you. away into the distance. And as you
stick your head out to a bookcase, only one book
becomes clear to you. And it says Encyclopedia
of the Fay. It looks so long. It is. It's a pretty
big book. All right. And I even off the shelf.
Yep. It's heavy. I bet as you pick it up and
go to crack it open, you find that it opens exactly
to the page you're looking for. And it's in big
text in the top left. It says Herringon. And
you see a hand -drawn sketch of something that
looks similar to you. It doesn't quite have things
right. This thing looks old. And like maybe the
person who drew the Herringon wasn't looking
at one in the moment, but went from memory instead.
Like those old paintings of like cats like we
don't really know if that's yeah. Yeah, exactly.
We couldn't get a cat to sit still for a long
time. Exactly. And the Tidbits of information
here about herring gone seem very Limited was
something you find over and over again on each
line of like How long do they live how tall are
they on average? How much are they weigh on average?
It says inconclusive there. There's just not
a lot of information. Okay, so just general knowledge
I know already no, no, so I guess I'm gonna flip
a couple pages looking for anything like that.
I don't know anything significant or I'd also
like to flip through this book and learn and
try to teach myself quickly how to get to the
Faye and back. Interesting. Like, I know I don't
have the class things for that, but that's something
I want to learn. Absolutely. Let's start this.
I will say when you flip through the page that
says Herringon, you get the basic details and
it's all bullshit information. And you you're
thinking, what a waste of my time. Yeah, but.
Then in the last paragraph, you realize that
there is a footnote at the end of the page that
says, honest note from the author, I was never
able to get close enough and interact with these
creatures. They're very territorial and don't
let people on their land. Found their burrow
in the southwest of the central aisle. I make
a quick note of that. Well, I know where that
is. Or is there maybe a map in the book that
shows where you flip back to the front and you
see that there is a map of the Feywild? Say it
one more time southwest of the central aisle
of central aisle and the map of the Feywild.
It looks a lot like Hawaii. It's a bunch of dotted
islands, but there is one in the center that
is it's not quite like Hawaii, but is a grouping
of islands and has one in the center that is
massive. You see each of these islands have.
drastically different biomes and seem to be magically
influenced by different creatures that live there.
But the center mass seems to be a conglomerate
of a lot of different things. So I'm looking
at a map of a group of islands that are clearly
islands, like in water. Yep. Yeah. Yep. And that's
the only thing on the map. I mean, and all the
maps have small titles and languages you can't
read. But aside from that, there is not bonus
information on this map. I'll tell you what,
give me an investigation check. What language
is it in? Just curious. It is going to be in.
I'll tell you, I know Sylvan. Do you? OK, do
you know Dwarvish? OK. Ingestivation. Oh, five.
Wait. Point of inspiration. All right. Yeah.
Oh, gosh dang it. Nine. Okay, you can have mine.
Oh, that's all right. I Don't know we cut away
from your stuff pretty quick. You might want
yours. Yeah You should take obvious. I'll be
fine. You give your DM says take obvious. You
shouldn't take on you should take obvious Do
you have any crystals? I do. No, why would I
help you? Dang it Sorry, I want to help you.
I was your friend for a second. I'm not supposed
to do that Kyle what the fuck that legitimately
looked like you dug into your dice and just put
a whole dice in your mouth and bit down It'll
come out just fine There's no big I thought about
it, but I've never like fully committed to putting
one in my mouth and like swallowing it You're
insane. It was a pretzel Yeah, I know, but it's
funnier. It is. If I say it's a dice. Stop eating
pretzels on the microphone, brother. I didn't
think we'd have to say it. Ten episodes and eight
episodes in. Eight. Definitely eight. OK, so
I'm looking at this. I mean. And can I find any
map that's that's like this is fun, too, because
this comes from like, I don't. Personally, Kyle
doesn't know a lot about like yeah a lot of it
doesn't overlap with real D. I'm looking for
a map that shows me the landmass that I'm on
and That land mass um I'm looking I don't know
if like is that do these two things exist on
the same plane gotcha You get that answer quick
you flip a page and you accidentally flip for
but the top line says not of our world, another
place of existence. And then he crossed it out
and he wrote plane of existence with quotes around
it. And then a TM. Yeah. Dang it. That is interesting.
There's not really much I can. I can go with
that. Can I find anything about getting to and
from this place? How to get there to the beginning
table of contents, how to get to the Faye. You
authors know anything go to the table of contents
and There is a layout of 40 something chapters.
I'm not naming them. Yes. One of them is crossed
out chapter 39 That looks fun scribbled out.
I flip can I can't tell what it says? No, it's
completely scratched out I go to chapter 39 as
you flip to chapter 39 you find a bunch of pages
ripped out I Knew I was gonna find that I slam
it shut I put it back on the shelf and I Look
up and I yell, take me to 39, and I take a step.
Whoa. Bold. You take a step. It's a good effort.
It's a good effort. I wait there for like 10
seconds and I go, fuck this. B .O .B. Yes. You
failed the Christmas save. Dang. You open the
book and you see words, words that you can't
read for a second. But after a moment, you just
blink once and they make sense. And they say
in bright golden letters on purple pages, it
says, do you want to help your friends? Oh, yeah,
definitely. All the time. What if there was a
cost? I have a lot of gold. So, yeah. Would you
pay more than gold sprawls across the page? What
costs more than gold? Freedom. Oh! Scrawls across
the page. But with gold you can buy your freedom,
so gold still wins. Is that a yes? No, I'm saying
gold costs more than freedom. You can buy your
freedom. I can help you help your friends. Oh,
okay. But you should really think about how you
pose that because you said it's gonna cost more
than your gold. Because... I will consider this.
Scrawls across the page. Okay, good. Just give
me your notes. A... X appears on the page and
then a line forms horizontally across it. Oh,
boy. And in your right hand, you suddenly feel
a writing utensil, a piece of charcoal, just
like the one you were using by the lake. Oh,
fun. You know, just above it sprawls sign here.
But my name. And it draws an arrow to the line.
Yes, your name. My favorite chapter is B .O .B.'s
intelligence. versus the mythical entity. Because
we've been in this situation a couple times and
I really like it. Sign my name here and then
I can help my friends? Correct. And it only costs
freedom. Which is worth less than gold. Oh, that
makes perfect sense. And I get a free piece of
charcoal. I don't see how this is a lose situation.
So, yeah, as he just said, hold on, who has a
point of inspiration right now? I do. Me. If
you want to try and show up in this moment of
the people who are actively looking for B .O
.B., so vein, not me in blank. You can roll your
D20 right now. And if it's a 15 or higher, you
can show up right this instant. 15 is brutal.
Cheers, guys. That is a 25 % chance. For sure.
Actually, it's a 30%. Technically. And I will
say, I won't use any rocks on this. We have to
use a point of inspiration. You have to have
a point of inspiration. And it burns it? You
don't have to. And it burns it. Wait, did our
last ones carry over? Yeah. Oh, then sure. You
cap at three what they carry over. I'll do it.
You only got one try. Yeah. With my one hit point
16 On a 16 vein and blink you Snap into existence
right in front of BoB BoB your friends suddenly
appear in front of you as the charcoal is is
hovering it in front of the page Oh, hi guys
BoB. Hey, what are you doing? I'm gonna help
you guys What what do you do? Are you writing?
Yeah? What? Why are you writing? You found a
notebook? Yeah! The page is now blank. Oh. Were
you drawing or something, buddy? No! What was
in that book? Oh, it was the gold, uh, letters
that kept talking to me, and said that it would
help me, uh, and it only cost my freedom, and,
uh, then I could help you guys. Wait, wait, rewind
a little bit. Yeah! Yeah, yeah, freedom? You're
free. Yeah, we went to a semantic battle about
what's cost more freedom or gold and I and I
confirmed with him that gold cost more and His
book isn't very smart. I thought I was supposed
to learn something. Anyways, uh I'll be hopey.
We really have to get you to stop touching things
I had a plan. We told them to to be fair. Hey,
mr. Book. I'm ready to sign wait You see the
line appear across the bottom. Oh, they hear
you right. B .O .B., I really don't think this
is a good idea. Why? Just to explain what the
deal was that was proposed to you. Oh, the deal
was that I can help my friends. You know, do
you know how? Oh, I should have asked that, huh?
Yeah. Hey, Mr. Book. How can you help me? Nothing.
I think. Think we should put the book back BoB,
but now I want to know why See it I kind of look
at vein and I'm like BoB you you already help
us every day. Oh Just by you being here and you
care and You're a good friend BoB. You don't
you don't need any additional help from book
things That's right. I can see Avi the player
wrestling with B .O .B. No, I'm wrestling with
emotions. I was going to make you roll a Charisma
save to try and put the book down. Mm -hmm, but
after that speech, you'll roll it at advantage.
Yeah Blink motivational speaker Okay, first one
is a 12 Charisma you said so 14. Okay, it's not
gonna do it Next one is a 13 plus to 15. Does
anyone have inspiration? I do. The way I'm gonna
do inspiration is if you had advantage or disadvantage
on the roll, that's what you will have when you
take the roll again. So re -roll twice. Yep.
Okay. So you're gonna roll twice now. B .O .B.
is inspired by what Blink said, so he will use
that. I love that. Yeah. Sorry, it's such a strong
magic book. So, uh, I get to roll two more times.
No, you just rolled. Yes. You got to roll one
more and it's the higher of these two. Yeah,
that one's the lowest of them all. Eight. Okay.
This is the one. This is the one. Now you get
one more roll. I feel it. I feel it. Okay, now
I get it. Now you get one more roll. Okay. Okay.
So you had advantage. You rolled 2d20 the first
time and now you're rolling 2d20 the second.
Gotcha. Okay. So that's what I, that's what,
okay. Cool. This is the one. This is the one.
It's a Jon Hamm, baby. It's a Jon Hamm. It's
not a John Hamm. I can see that That's another
six. Okay. Hey, I have inspiration You can feel
free to use as much inspiration as you want.
No, no, no So yeah, but he looks to the book
Hey, he looks blink in the eyes and as his eyes
are starting well up like that's the nicest thing
anyone's ever said to me. Oh And that just makes
me want to help you guys more So he's gonna go
and write he's like I don't know how to write
my name. I do know how to write B. Oh B though,
and it goes B. Oh B can we like try to slap it
can vain try to like slap the truck without his
hand I I wish you it's asked faster, but I mean
I motioned like yeah, you did so you did actually
give me a dexterity check it's not a save Rolls
tonight. Yeah, that was a 10, but I'm gonna use
my inspiration because I didn't yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh That is gonna be a 19 why? B. Ob you get the
charcoal slapped out of your hand and it clatters
to the ground You see the B you wrote go from
black to like a gleaming gold as it traces the
B, traces half the O and then goes off the screen
and you see that trace of gold retract backwards
quickly as the line disappears. What are you
doing? I'm sorry. You just shouldn't sign this
thing. You shouldn't make a deal with a random
entity. It's going to. It's not random. No, no.
I've been talking for like two minutes now. Yobi,
it's trying to trick you. It's not a good thing
in there. But it said it would help me help you.
For a price? Yeah, and that's fine. Everything
always comes with a price, B .O .B. I'm aware
of that part now. I have lots of gold. As in,
everyone is self -interested. You're different.
You're special in that manner, I would say. Yes,
Blink's gonna slowly reach and like put his hands
on the book not like Yankee it away But just
like also so he's holding it. How about I hold
on to this book? Okay, but we need it You know,
I know how we can get it back Yeah, I pocket
that piece of charcoal cuz that's a cool piece
of charcoal cool. I'm gonna put it onto the bookshelf
as You lift your hand and put the book up to
the shelf the shelf doesn't gain form If you
let go of the book it hits the ground. What if
we just take it with us? No, no, no, no, no,
uh, let's just leave it in the library BoB You're
right. We should just leave it in the library
Yeah, yeah, so I'm gonna just put it on the ground
kind of kick it into or like the gold specks
are okay Yeah, you can kick it. Yeah into the
dust. So it's it's yeah Well under a shelf technically
we can always come back for it BoB. I give bling
like a silent thumbs up like That's my third,
sixth in a row. For what? To do what? Get the
book? Yeah. Just kind of try to slowly grab the
book while you guys are watching. And as you
put your hand out to I think your friends actually
aren't looking and you go to put your hand out
and you feel something grab the back of your
shirt and you hear a familiar voice say, what
are you doing? As you all see Vance in this space.
Oh. Hey, oh we were gonna sign a book that wanted
to make a deal with us and or me I don't care
what you're doing. Where's the other two you
said? What are you doing? Here where are the
other two if we think about them we should find
them I think worked for us. Oh Anything just
just think of Chris right now Vance shows up
at Chris with a whole entourage suddenly. What
are you doing Chris? I'm reaching out Waiting
for it to take me to chapter 39 I'm maybe I tried
a couple times you get I just don't believe hard
enough You get a handful advances coat as he
looks down at your hand on his chest and he looks
up at you and he goes One more then and he begins
to walk past you and steps you all through space
to snap in front of keel. Oh You can say it now.
I'm gonna say I don't think she really wants
to be with us Too bad. He snaps the entire group
to you and he says, are we satisfied? Who brought
you here? Oh, come on. Guys, quick, go touch
some other books. For the record, this whole
thing was completely unintentional. Like, but
it's cool that we're all together again. You
guys noticed that you are all standing in a clearing
similar to where the table was. But this time
there is a circle under all of your feet. And
Vance takes an action to begin casting a spell.
No, your friend brought us here, Vance. And I'm
taking you out. I'm pretty sick of... As the
spell dissipates because he has to stop the incantation
to talk. I'm pretty sick of being whisked around
all over the place. Where you been? I'll give
you answers. We were promised answers here! And
seeing as you snuck off on your own, I think
you got plenty. Things you should never have
even known. I didn't get any answers. I don't
care. Stop. Stop. Talking. Finally. I've had
a hell of a day. I've had hell of a week. And
let me guess. Did you have a hell of a month?
Don't have the lens. No, it super got stolen.
What was it? Was it you guys? Blink and Blink
and Chris that were supposed to be watching it
got stolen right out from under them. I don't
care. What I do care about is what's going on.
And if that asshole in the woods thinks that
you guys are the answer, then you need to start
being the answer. He clearly knows something
I don't, and infuriates me. What, the crazy old
guy? The one who sent you here, yes. The crazy
old guy. Because no matter what, it seems all
roads circle back to you guys, and that honestly
doesn't thrill me. What have you done since I
left? Failed the one thing I asked you to do?
Well, we did it. The rabbit said we've been dragged
everywhere, all the time. Barely had answers
ourselves. Sounds like you're the right people,
then. Fate feels like it's kind of out of your
hands lately. No, I feel pretty good, actually.
I just want a whole bunch of money. I'm sort
of waiting to collect. Your hot elf friend said
that. I still would. So the library whisks Kila
away in the middle of that sentence. And he looks
at all of you. Can you teach me how to do that?
Vance smile. He cracks a smile for a second and
it quickly shakes off and he says, I'm gonna
send you all to the same place. I think I know
what's going on, but there's nothing we can do
about the lens now, so we have to change tracks.
Well, no, no, no, there is. There is. We're looking
for the guy who took it. That lens was not nice.
I know it wasn't. It's the home to a very powerful
creature that I'm afraid our goblin friend, not
you, is trying to... I shouldn't even tell you
guys this. Yeah, there was a mean guy in there.
We talked. How possible is it? That you guys
could bring me Gruzak. I'm not allowed to. Without
getting caught by the law. I bring you Gruzak?
Have you seen that guy? I have. That guy, dude.
He's he's like. Slimy and gross, and he's got
the bodyguards around him and and the the machines
that blast holes through walls. And he seems
to be the only person who has something to gain
by bringing a monster back into our world. So
we need to get to him. I mean, you do have a
dinner invite by him. Oh, no. He looks at B .O
.B. I do. But I'm not allowed to. Why not? Why
not? Oh, so Horter gave me clear instructions.
One was, uh... Don't go to Quell. Wait. Oh, wait.
Wait, that's not right. Oh, no! I've been to
Quell! Great So it doesn't matter then What matters
is now? Yeah, I guess so It's okay, bro Man,
he's gonna be so mad at me. We were promised
answers for coming here and Defeating that freaking
monster, you know, you're welcome. By the way,
no one said that listen that monster is why I'm
so tense We haven't seen one of those This happened
before and even though We took a lot of precautions
for it to not happen again. It seems like it
is. And for some reason, the one guy who can
see the future seems to think you are all the
answer. Hell, my only source is that maybe you
should visit Gruzak, but I could be dead wrong.
Whatever you end up doing I'm sure will be the
right answer. That was true for me and a group
of idiots at one point. And he sort of... Stairs
off for a second open a portal to the Feywild
then I Can't take you there. Oh my gosh We were
told that only that elf was able to and then
she told or they told us that only you were able
to so Who can I was able to until that thing
attacked they? closed the doors That being said
there's always a way and I I Can help you get
there? I'm going to reach my hand out into a
bookshelf thinking about how to get to the Feywild.
The dust like dissipates around your hands as
Vance shakes his head. My library, by the way,
if that wasn't clear. Oh, this is your library.
It totally wasn't. Not at all. So thanks. Never
mind. How did you build this? What's what is
what is with this? Why did you build this? It's
magic and it's all the information. that we could
ever have were in order of knowledge clerics.
So then why did the book that I pulled have pages
ripped out? Because you ripped them out? Correct.
Man. OK. So if it's your library and these are
your books, there's a book that wanted to make
a deal with me. So that's OK, then. Excuse me?
There's a book. It had gold writing and it was
saying something about it could help me help
my friends and that it only cost. Something and
then and I said gold and then it was like no
not gold something more and I said Do you have
this book? No, we I want you out of my library
then One of you is bringing him here and I don't
want that who can't have that I can't tell you
and he pulls kilo back as she comes Zooming back
into you guys have fun at your boys club. Is
that what it is then advance begins casting his
spell we have a boys club Apparently we did what
we could I don't know what to tell you Yeah,
sure. You're full of shit. I sit down and I start
don't even lie to me. Are you mad at us? I think
Vance did that. He's the one who sent you flying
I mean an apple you didn't even want to be around
us Kiela Yeah, you're so right for that, but
that doesn't mean I want to you know get Shuttered
off to some corner in the dark ass library myself.
Do you want some peanuts? Yeah, there you go.
Oh, give me some peanuts As you two have a bicker
says back there and these two are snacking The
spell resolves as you all are sucked out of this
place and dropped in a familiar one as you are
all standing in Vance's office surrounding his
desk he pulls his chair back takes a seat at
the desk and Pulls open a drawer seems like he
forgot something and then looks up at all of
you and says do you have my money? Well I was
gonna pay you for work, but I don't seem to have
gold right now. It's fine. I can't express how
important it is that you keep moving forward,
but I don't even know what that means. So I can't
tell you what to do. Hell, going to Gruzak might
be the wrong choice. I don't know. If anyone
could give you answers, it would be that bastard
that told you to come here, but he's even less
willing than I am, I think. He told us to find
you. Yeah. And if that's all he gave you, I don't
know what else I could. I'm not exactly sure
how future scene and fate works and all that.
Seems like we're all just inexplicably tied together
and tied to this situation and we just have to
exist and go with whatever path is drawing us
forward. Yeah, yeah, just do it quickly. What
are you gonna do? But like, what does that mean?
I'm gonna see if I can find where this last damn
pearl went. Sorry. Pearl? Pearl, are we talking
about like, like right treasure? No, not treasure.
It's... I guess you should know. This guy doesn't
know ocean currency. We should know everything,
bro. You have no idea how wrong you are about
that. You can't know so many things. And honestly,
I... I'm not gonna take the time to tell you
the things. What you do need to know is last
time this happened, we thought we could kill
the monster that came to our world. We killed
its presence, but we couldn't destroy three rocks.
We generously called them pearls, but they're
just smooth purple rocks. However, if you would
even get one of them and know anything about
the arcane, you can start to... Well, you know
how they closed the doors to the Feywild? We
closed the doors to they call it the void. If
something could learn to open that back up, we
would be in a lot of trouble. Well, if you couldn't
destroy the rocks, where are they now? We have
that sounds like the most important task at the
moment is making sure we have two of them and
one we kept distant in a very secure location,
but apparently not secure enough. And where is
that? He exhales and goes into a bag that's on
the floor near his desk and pulls out a scroll
of paper and hands it to you. You're welcome
to unfurl it and you will quickly find a map.
On the map you see that there is a circle on
a large mountainous range that says number three,
just like pound sign three. He points to it and
says, this is where I was when I left you. I
found corpses. Everything that I left to protect
it was killed. I'll be honest, not just killed,
the things that were living. to protect it. We're
consumed. And he stares at Vane for a long, long
time on that sentence. With that fact, I thought
it may be best to just let you fucking figure
it out. I don't know. Can we go there? What?
Be careful if you do. But yes. And the rock isn't
there anymore. The pearl isn't there anymore.
It's not there. And you don't know where it is
at all. No. Well, didn't you say Kruzak is the
one doing all this? I'll be honest. It was a
prideful hunch. I'm frustrated right now. I still
am I have a lot of people I need to go check
on a lot of things I need to check on and I Was
hoping maybe I could be the answer, but I think
I need to remove myself Well, what if we just
send in our bloodthirsty Cyclops over here to
go take care of Kruzak and that won't be a problem
anymore Yeah, I mean Doug can really break his
way through a building. I don't know it does
Doug even have an eye can he like Perceive Doug
has eyes. Oh Like plural so I don't know what
you mean by Cyclops. He's got a visor Because
I know you're not fucking talking about me mate.
Actually. I don't know if a dog has eyes Certainly
you've got to be talking about the fucking robot
right mate. I haven't seen the robot kill a bunch
of people Well, there was that one time. I've
never seen that from anyone. There was that one
time. I mean, if you need Gruzak dead, just say
so. Name a price and I'll go fix it. I'm not
paying. I'm not like treasure hunting for someone
else. I already paid you. I'm pretty sure you
still have a lot of my money unless you spent
it all at the auction. We spent it at the auction
to get your lens, which then we lost. Lost. By
no fault of our own. Wee is a really strong collective
phrase you're using there. Kayla had every opportunity
to grab it. Save us the time and let you know
that I will go check the ledgers at the auction
house to see how much you paid. Feel free. So
great. I'll find something else to pay you with
next time I see you. So there seems to be a lot
of things missing. Correct. At least two things
that I think. Pearl, rock and the lens. Why do
they need those two things? I don't know. Not
fully. I think they're for different purposes.
Do you know if they need anything else? No. I've
got an unrelated question. That's actually pretty
smart. Thanks. Yeah, cool. I've got an unrelated
question. She pulls out the white business card
with the W on it. What do you know about this?
Give me a slight of hand check. Oh, oh no Vance
got a 23. Oh advance the advanced ham no 19 I
only got a 19. Oh, man. Do you have inspiration?
Yeah, do you want to use it? He's he's he's he's
he's tricking you He's Lunging to take it out
of your hands I don't want anybody to take anything
from me My little my little dice is charged up
now charge it up Natural one Vance rips it out
of your hands and holds the card and he says
not a hon jam. You don't need this What you mean?
I paid for it fair and square. She'll try and
grab it back 14 She doesn't want to say okay
11 I add six to my sleight of hand. This is insane
He holds it backwards over his head, and he says
listen It's for your own good. I and Everyone
can give me an insight check Say less ready erect.
Oh my god That garment terrible. Did you get
a natural 20? So we have two natural 20s that
is insane um You think that this card will answer
some of the questions Vance won't ah Give me
that shit back and On a natural 20 do we know
the motives of why yeah? Yeah, keep talking if
you want me to keep talking no, okay on a natural
20 He pulls it away, and you suss out that you
might get answers that he doesn't want you to
have. This card, if you solve the mystery of
the card, you could get to the Feywild, no problem.
Oh, I want the card so bad. I'm going to sort
of put a hand on my bandolier. I'm going to look
at Vance and I'll go, if you don't want me to
do to you what I did to your fucking front door,
you'll give me my shit back. I could snap my
fingers and you wouldn't exist for a minute.
And then at minute one, I'm still going to be
your fucking problem. Give me my shit back. I'll
be a minute away. He's going to try to get in
between them and look at you like, I know you
probably know what I know. So maybe we just try
to find something else. Right. For someone that
should give me an intimidation check. Go ahead.
For someone that said that he's not going to
stand her away and let us do a lot of things.
You're being pretty bossy. Let's let Audrey roll,
but I like that. Give me a persuasion as well,
actually. Nice, Tim. Dirty 20. Good. Let's go.
And 13, 13 and a dirty 20. You're both coming
at Vance's. He's holding this card away from
you and you see his gaze jump between the two
of you and sort of go down for a second and you
see him lose the fight in him as he looks at
both of you. And he says, I'm worried. And he
hands you the card. Snatched that shit back.
Nice. Everything feels like I'm doing the wrong
thing. For years I felt like it could never happen
again. And in the course of a week, everything
we did is unraveling. These monsters are the
reason I'm alive. And I'm only alive to make
sure they never do it again. It's not by choice.
I'll fix it for you if you want. I wish I could
trust you. Even if you said that from the bottom
of your heart, you don't have to trust us You
have to trust optimal and he he like tenses up
as you say that name call him a to a to The rest
of you never say that name What name? You're
good. Be obi You're set. You're clear. Okay things
like that Gain presence by knowing their name
and speaking it If you're in the city and you
find anyone saying that name, let me know who
they are. I know where they live. I know where
they go. Any information like that, I'll reward
you. I like the sound of that. Yeah, I'm actually
back on track here. Pick at the edges of that
for a while. I don't have gold on me, but I have
a lot of things and he gets up for the table
and walks past all of you on the other side of
the desk. and moves a rug and lifts a trap door
that leads to a ladder below. And he goes down
the ladder into the house and he gestures for
you to follow him. I'm right fucking behind him.
Yeah, buddy. You find yourselves on the top floor
or the second story of a three story building.
The third story was the office. The second is
an upstairs. He takes you down a flight of stairs
and you are in a living room. Remind me, we're
in Vance's place. Correct. In Quell. In Quell,
where he originally told us about the auction.
Correct. Okay, just making sure I'm visualizing.
But now he's taking you downstairs, not just
into his office, actually into his house, which
I don't think he did before. Because it was above.
Yeah, we went upstairs. As you go down the ladder,
in Vance, gestures for all of you to head downstairs,
there are only two rooms on this landing, and
you see one of them is like... boarded up with
nails, and he stands in front of that one and
gestures for you to move along. As everyone proceeds
and moves downstairs, he follows you and goes
to a large closet in the back, pulls out a key
ring that has exactly one key on it. It is just
a normal, innocuous looking dungeon key. I'm
going to say, what do you need the ring for?
He looks at you and he shrugs. And he looks at
it and he shrugs again and he puts his lock.
This man's got aura. And he opens the door and
there is a closet full of just an array of magic
items. You see weapons, you see bundles of cloth,
you see amulets hanging from different shelves.
And he then closes the door and locks it and
puts the key in his pocket and he says, any information
you have, I don't have gold, but I can give you
stuff to help. Team huddle, team huddle, we huddle.
Vance looks around and takes like the four steps
he can away to the other side of the room So
we're figuring out how we're gonna break into
that room. Is that what's happening here? No,
I'm already like three steps ahead of you I like
where your heads at cuz I was just thinking let's
go actually do the work But like why do work
we're gonna just fucking get in I'm saying here's
my opinion I'm tired of locked doors. I'm tired
of barred information. I just want to get out
there and do some shit Yeah, you know how you
get past the locked door you break into it. No
see but like that's hard. That's that's different
for you Maybe no, but no, it's just it's a skill
issue. I'm like four steps away At that point
we could go steal from anyone I think we do need
to get to Gruzak Vance lights the range and starts
cracking eggs into a skillet. I like this. I
like what we're doing right now. It's like one
big hug. It's good. Right. Yeah. Family hug.
Yeah. Same. Take a flask out of his jacket and
take a nice long. I put my head up out of the
huddle. I go, hey, could you share gestures for
him to sort of? Yeah, we're trying to set up
a plan to rob you. Vance looks over at the counter
next to him, grabs a dusty jar. blows the dust
out of it. You see a thick cloud shoot out back
into his face. He's unfazed. And he upends his
flask into it till the glass is completely full.
The flask showing no sign of emptying. And he
puts on the counter and gestures to it and continues
cooking his eggs. I grab it. I pull it back into
the huddle. I take a drink out of it and carry
on as though it that did not just happen. Cool.
Great. All right. Keep going. See how helpful,
see how helpful you have been to us, B .O .B.
Everyone, everyone say how helpful B .O .B.'s
being. What? What's your deal, man? I know, I
like, I heart -stare fucking Chris. Yeah, yeah,
B .O .B. B .O .B. You're insanely helpful, you
have no idea. We wouldn't have known so many
things we do now without you. Ah, thanks. And
I fist -bump B .O .B. Oh, so when I lie it's
fucked up, but when you guys do it, it's like
cool and okay and encouraged. When we lie, What?
I don't think Chris is lying to me. All right.
I want to figure out what's the deal with this
business card. That guy's hiding shit about it.
I feel like that might be the next move. That's
what I'm going to do. If you guys want to come
hang out. I feel a little ill equipped to attend
this party. Have you ever been to a party in
your life? I would love to be equipped. I think
I actually agree with Keela. Mark the day. Mark
that. Mark that. Wait a minute. I think it's
either that or we take out Kruzak, but I don't
think he's someone that would be easy. The card
will lead us directly to Kruzak. I don't think
that's true. This card supposed to lead us directly
to a party and Vance hates that shit But he hates
pretty much everything we're doing and apparently
everything we do that he hates is a the right
decision And you guys are so obsessed with the
right decision So I feel like we should probably
go to the party a party that grusak will be I
don't think he'll be there Nobody said anything
about him being there If he was that nobody said
the auction he'll be at the party two birds one
stone my head out of the subtle. Hey Vance this
Party thing I'm gonna wave the the business card
around that you really don't want us going to
you think Gruzak's gonna be there Is that sort
of a thing that he'd be attending and before
Vance answers? I will look up a kill and say
I'll bet you a hundred gold pieces He will and
I stick on my hand. I bet you a hundred gold
pieces. He won't and we shake hands. I'm so sorry
Kyle Shit rabbit. Well, I won't bring it back
up if you want though. I write an IOU and I give
it Because I gambled it all on you. Yeah, and
you're about to get back like tenfold what you
bet on me. Everybody fucking bet against me.
Let's sure hope we do. Who knows? The next time
we'll be west away. We're getting a little off
track. Anyway, Vance, he's not going to be here
at this party, right? No. Great. I say we go
to the party. Do you know where it is, by the
way? I know that you're super like anti -fun.
I think you would get lost if you tried to go.
Okay, that's not what I asked you, mate. I...
Well... Where's it at, do you know? Yes. Great,
where's it at? If you can't say, just point at
it. I can say... I just... You have to go into
the catacombs of the... No, I can't call it that.
I think they're gonna call it the burrows. Isn't
that what the sorry, but isn't that what the
rabbit plays? Yeah, they have a little they have
a literal you live in a fucking trashy Do you
want to call something else No, it is basically
hollowed out hill that is home to all of the
weight. It's where people live No, it's where
they're buried. It's where all the rich people
are buried Correct, or it's where everybody's
buried At one point it was everybody now only
the rich people have The means to afford to be
buried there cool. We could do some grave robbing
over there. Are they buried with? I will do that
as yours Some of them great. All right, I'm so
in see blink you already said you were in so
you can't back out now I have less of a problem
with dead people. Actually, it's like, you know,
that's cuz you are one I'm pretty sure. And that's
why we love you, big guy. B .O .B., what do you
want to do? B .O .B. wants to go wherever his
friends are going. If you don't have a guide,
you're not going to make it, though. Oh, thanks
for volunteering. Is it underground? I won't
work as a guide. He said it's in a mountain,
so I think mostly underground. Graves. Graves
lead me to believe underground. I can probably
figure it out. We could really use your help.
I would be a negative impact. Careful your eggs
are burning. He flips them. All right, so who
should we talk to then? Your hot elf friend.
Will your hot elf friend bring us there? They
might. I don't have much control over Ardriel.
It's infuriating to me. Yeah, I get that. I get
that. I don't know what their standing is with
him, so I don't know if he'll... With him? What
do you mean with him? You oh Vance you're letting
out a wee bit of information the longer you talk.
I like it keep talking What do you mean him roll
me a persuasion check at disadvantage as you
watch Vance's face lays over with rage I wrote
the same thing both times 14 On a 14 someone
runs the party the event that you're invited
to he I'm saying too much. I don't even want
you to go to this party. Yeah, we've established
that Vance I know you said earlier you were you're
worried and That you feel like you're doing everything
wrong. You also told us that we need to keep
moving forward but We don't know where we're
supposed to move forward But now that we have
some sort of forward momentum, I wave the business
card around you are Trying to stop our forward
momentum But you also just said you're doing
everything wrong So maybe this one time you tried
to do something that we want to do because ultimately
you said it was us that needs to go forward So
maybe if you help us, we'll get there faster
Because that's how momentum works, I think I
know you'll be yeah, I Agree with everything
you're saying But you haven't been up against
someone that knows everything you're going to
do before you do it No, but I don't even know
what I'm gonna do before I do it That's true
He might be the only one that stands a chance
and that might be why this works out. Yeah, so
if I give you the answers What if that ruins
everything? What if it doesn't we don't know
that's the part that you have to just trust I've
been down that road Not with me or us Every roads
different with every different person cuz every
person down a lot more important roads with more
important people to me Hey, all right. Oh Yeah,
I have to be important to you got the lens. We
did our best Do you accept bribes cuz that's
sort of where I'm out. Otherwise, I'm trying
to find someone who knows to control fate and
he laughs I'm not to explain myself to you. I'm
not trying to control fate mate I'm trying to
go to a party. Tell you what fastest way to get
there commit a crime get out of my house done
OK, you guys can pick up that you've pissed him
off. He is emotionally responding now, but I
got an answer, so I don't care. He'll turn around
and walk out of the house. All right, can we
go rest now? I feel like I died like an hour
ago. There's a knock on the door. When you hear
that knock in sync, Vance rolls his eyes and
puts his plate down on the table, goes to the
ladder and begins climbing up. Really want to
eat a spoon. You can he's leaving it there you
hear him close the trap door above you and you
hear a as a latch bolt I eat his food really
fast The door that was knocked on is Presumably
the front door so what if I left what level are
we on the main floor? So Vance's office is like
on an above floor because we walked up a staircase
to get there But we went to like a magic item
room. Where is that ground floor? That's on the
ground story house the top floor is his office
The second floor is the second floor of his house.
The home is the home floor of his house. Make
sense Yes, sorry. I'm is the boarded up door
on this floor that is on the second floor But
that would be up the stairs. Yeah So you can
still go up the stairs. You just can't go up.
Oh, I see. I see correct. Okay, I open the front
door It's knocking as I'm leaving you open the
front door There is a crate on the ground that
is open that has five individual coin purses
great And like a pop either. Oh my what's at
the door Kila? Who is it? So roll me a sleight
of hand as you try to funny sounding ding -dong
ditcher Hold on. She has to roll her sleight
of hand if she does really good. You don't hear
shit. All right, all right I feel like Keila's
good with money too. Yeah, I know. She had six.
This is a good roll for her. 12. Not too good.
Yeah, you guys definitely noticed that Keila
is strapped up with like... And we see the crate
too. Yeah, and an empty crate sitting there.
What's in the crate? Nothing. Doubt it. Look
for yourself. Look, there's nothing in it. And
I go over there and she looks like a baby with
her diaper stuffed full of shit, not literal
shit, but like toys and like remotes. You're
like, hey, I know you have something. Did you
do an accident? No, she didn't shit her pants.
Hold on. Chris, I want you to deliver that really
good line, but I want to get it right now. It's
not literal shit in her pants. Kayla's lumpy
as hell right now. She's just lumpy as hell.
Big coat, big coat. They still even with big
couple coins followers like you're carrying sandbags
underneath, you know, yeah. Yeah. Keila, can
you just what's in your pocket? None? Yeah. That's
what you say, right? What's none? Yeah. Business
none of business. So mind it. I'm battling between
whether to let you get away with that or whether
to say no. Alright anyway Too tired I'm going
to party town What time is it um? It's nighttime,
okay. Thank God. Yeah, you just seems like you
did your crime anyway um I'm gonna go sleep.
Oh if you think that's crime. I got news for
you squeaky boy squeaky I look at I look at blank
I don't squeak I can see it, I can see it. Guys,
that really hurt his feelings. Hey. Guys. Nice.
Killer, dude. Hey, what's up, guys? Hey, everyone.
Cool. Yeah, you leave? Yeah. Go out into the
streets? Anyone staying in Vance's house? No.
I'm gonna leave a message. Okay, what's that
look like? Same way that I did in the gel cell
where I use my finger to carve into the wooden
floor. It's magically. Oh, yeah, it's just a
little magic. Oh, I can leave up to like 25 words.
Oh, this is a real spell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey,
man. Thanks for having us. We really appreciated
your eggs. You'll be appreciated. Yeah, just
feels it out. You know, sounds it out. Yeah,
appreciate. It's like an S -H. S -H -E -E -D
-I -D. Don't be worried. Don't be worried. Yeah.
Okay. Cool. That's nice. That's considerate.
I don't think I need to say anything more than
that. Cool. Can you head out? Yeah. Very good.
Are you following Keila? I'm going back to the
glass stallion. Oh, that's where I'm going. Cool.
Of course it is. Vane's following. He's trying
to read his book while he's walking unaware that
that's like not a thing you can do. He used to
do that in the halls, right? It didn't matter.
So he's accustomed to it, but like other people,
he's going to run into some people on the streets.
All the time, like every two seconds. He hisses
up. Chris? Yeah, I guess I will also go back
to The Glass Stallion. You follow them? I follow
them. I have some things I want to do when we
get there. Cool. Hell yeah. Do you want me to
sing my song again? Yes. Yeah. Down time activities.
That's it. Thank you. For the new listeners,
we actually sing everything we do in the podcast.
This is the musical episode. Turntails, a new
musical. People will ask for that now. And we
will give it to them. We have enough talent here.
Honestly, I feel like the table is relatively
well equipped enough to do a musical episode.
We could put together a top 10. It's not this
one. I got things to do. It's not this one. But
the next one. But the next one, maybe. We could
really crush it. Special Patreon episode. I play
guitar. He plays piano. Somebody bring out the
Gothic organ. Somebody plays something. Bring
out the church organ. To actually try. It would
be a lot of work, but we could do it. It'd be
pretty fun. How would it be a lot of work? Vayne
is going to have a freestyle rap. Because we
would want to make sure the music is really good,
and we would want to have scripted moments. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. Some unscripted moments, but we want
to be singing songs. It'd have to be a throwaway
episode. Everyone comes with a song the only
way I would ever allow that is if you show up
with yeah, exactly Yeah, a song ready. This is
the yeah We would have a talking you would have
a backtrack and you could even have like like
doubles and Choruses in the background, but you
need to put your real vocal on top of it. I'm
done honestly The way you were explaining it
I thought you wanted to like completely record
the songs ahead of time This just in turntails
is fake Everybody's got like a couple songs in
the back pocket. We're like a tagline comes up.
You're like, this is my moment. I have a song.
We need a John Ham song. Oh, yeah. The first
time somebody John Ham. Oh, yeah. We sing about
John Ham. This this this. Concept is buried six
inches below the surface and we just have to
dig it up. I mean Garrison's pretty good on the
piano, right? I don't think it's ever been Scores
we could hook up his piano so that He could,
like, improvise something. Yeah, if he wants
to play live, cool. You can always accompany
it afterwards, too. Well, here's here's what
I'll say. Having the power to look at Garrison
and nod and force any one of you cucks to break
in the song. Pretty good Everything that's happening
though, too Shawn actually gets to be the only
person that talks I was gonna say yeah He should
be either the one that's seeing all the things
like the Phantom is making it and he's like a
Phantom of the Opera type of thing or like a
Like a fey wild creature. That's just like and
now you have to sing everything Shawn goes and
then BoB said Like a realm or a spell that from
the Feywild that makes Oh, no, we're singing
everything that we have to do people love when
the cold open of the show is halfway through
That honestly I don't mind because this is for
me this is no longer for the audience Yeah, this
is here. I I actually have a really real question
before we get on track. Yeah. Yeah I know shows
that I let D &D shows that I listen to Ever admit
that they're drinking or like indulging. Oh well
critical role does do they do? Yeah, oh like
at least in the earth like the first season they
like acknowledge that they're getting drunk Mean
not that they're getting because not that we're
getting drunk. No, I don't get drunk, but we
don't have beers and stuff Yeah, okay, because
I'll be honest the amount of cans cracking that
I had to snip out Yes, that could be those people
get sodas so I don't think it matters this is
so productive um We're all going to the glass
stallion everyone returned to the glass stallion
is there karaoke? It is late in the night it
seems spirits are low from what happened just
in the basement of this building Still if you
will remember there was a monster Rory is he
probably knows where I'm gonna get my money and
Subsequently your money. I forgot where Rory
I forgot who Rory was or that they existed at
all to be honest. He's the guy who runs the shit
and I can barely keep up with where we are right
now. Well, I mean like the building glass stallion.
It's a tavern. Oh, I like taverns. Yeah, I know.
I'm really tired. All right, go take a nap then.
I think I will take a sweet little bunny nap.
I do. And I'm so cute when I nap. You wish you
could see. I don't deep, deep down. Look, I have,
like, a wide range of preferences. Really, like,
as far as preferences go, the bar is pretty low.
I kissed a guy without a lower lip once. Oh,
my gosh. Not, like, romantic. Wouldn't recommend
it. Not romantic. Like, how you... Ew. Ew. Is
that what you thought I meant? The barkeep comes
over and says... I meant, like, on a calendar.
That kind of sleeping buddy. The barkeep says
I'm sorry to interrupt no you're good, bro But
uh they appreciate what you did earlier. She
hands each of you a key and says You're all welcome
to stay as long as you need Appreciate you my
darling. I'm gonna give her like five gold. No,
and and she puts her hands on she says sincerely
you saved a lot of people I Sincerely really
need you to take this if it makes you feel better.
I'll sit down and have a drink She nods and takes
it from you and starts going back to the counter.
I want one, too I say whatever she's having and
I put five gold there she leaves the five gold
there and puts two drinks in front of you. What
kind of drinks are they like? Beers. Can I have
something stronger? What, like milk? I don't
drink milk. Maybe water. Apple juice? Of course.
And she puts a smaller glass down and puts a
dark liquid in it. Blink shoots it. Oi. Great.
I start chugging my beer. I'm going to go to
bed and he goes to his room. Cool. You find a
room up there that your key unlocks. Let me know
when I can do something. Do something as in in
your room or are you going to try in the room?
In the room. You can do something now. You act
first. No, I don't want to interrupt. I mean,
I'm just drinking. Does anyone have a conversation
they want to have right this second? I have another
thing I want to do. OK, then you go upstairs
and we're going to cut back to the group downstairs.
Blink. Are all four of us here? I'm also going
upstairs. Vein also gets up and leaves. Cool.
So it is B .O .B. Keela and Chris, unless...
B .O .B. would probably head upstairs with Doug,
ready to crash out for the night. OK. Doug was
waiting for you in the glass stallion, just sitting
idle. Sorry, I forgot about that. No, no, no.
And as you walk in, he stomps over. He's in a
smaller form, but the bar keeps his end. I don't
mean to be rude. I still am grateful, but he
ruined my first stair, if you could keep him
down here. And you see that the first stair is
shattered. Oh, sorry about that. I can fix it
for you if you want. Go on. She gestures towards
the stair. Oh, this might actually be quite a
bit of a job. As he's going to start looking
at all the stairs and looking at them and looking
at them and their wooden stairs. Yeah. These
are bad stairs She Stops for a second and says
well Are you saying that because one of them
is broken? No, I'm just saying that structurally.
They're just not as sound as they should be They
worked fine for years. Well, that's because you
had people that Weren't as big as duck, but if
you want I can make them all better go go on
Okay How long will it take? Oh, this might be
quite a bit of a job. Oh, do you think you could
just fix the bottom one and get it back to how
it was? You want your bad stairs? I just want
working stairs for my patrons as soon as possible.
Oh, okay. I'm gonna start working on your stairs
now. Thank you. Just the short version. I guess
I can do it shortly. Thank you. If you want me
to cut corners, I'll cut corners. You get what
you pay for I'm gonna make an escalator I Knew
it give me a give me a flat intelligence check
sick That face isn't like good that's a fucking
other six, but plus five so eleven I don't have
Insight. Inspiration. It's a broken escalator
spring, which is you make an escalator. The first
one is half the height of the second one. So
it's kind of uncomfortable. I want to ask you
one question. You made an escalator. You succeeded.
Good roll. Cool. Which direction does it go?
Do you want me to answer that? Yeah. 50 50. Whatever
you however you want to decide which direction
this is. Decide somehow. Odds. Up. Evens down.
I'll be honest, Avi. They're both funny. Okay.
So this is funny. It is odds. Gotcha. So it does
go up. Cool. But maybe it goes just too fast.
So no one can go down it. It's like a very efficient
way up, but everyone's just... They're gonna
have to install a fire pole. That's pretty funny.
She like turns her back for just a couple of
seconds. Doug obstructs her view. She hears a
large array of tools in use. And when she looks
back, she hears a steady hum and sees you standing
proud at the end of your project. No one has
used it yet. So she's none the wiser. She goes,
I. Don't know what I'm looking at, but as this
as uh he and doug step on the escalator save
and move No, okay, uh That's actually pretty
funny, too Okay, so that's a 17. Okay. Yeah,
you and Doug. Hold on tight as you say it's this
and you step on in it To the top of the stairs
you go up a flight of stairs in a second less
than a round of combat as you to the top and
catch your funding at the top and You hear her
go. Oh From downstairs Okay Okay It is now just
Keila and Chris downstairs and you see the bar
night. Yeah, we look at you two and go I Don't
even know who to call to fix this What I don't
either he'll fix it. He told you he would fix
it. He fixed it you go use it I'm not tired.
Yeah, Chris. You use it. I'm not tired yet. I
can't tell what to do She shrugs and and just
sighs and goes into the back. All right now that
it's now that it's just the grown -ups I'm full
disclosure here. You can come with me if you
want because I think you'd be a wee bit helpful
because you got a hat on your shoulders. I would
really like to get to this party or like interact
with this guy as soon as reasonably possible.
You want to go now? No way you want to go now.
Back to like the leveling thing. I intend to
commit a crime like now and if it works the way
that I want it to. I mean like Bummer, we won't
interact with this guy, but I'll have what I
want. If it doesn't work the way I want it to,
this guy might show up and we'll go to the party.
So it's up to you if you want to come with me.
I am formally extending this offer to you, but
it's up to you. Chris feels something right now.
Chris feels like the first year at Thanksgiving
when you got invited to the big table. Holy shit.
Chris is feeling that right now, and Chris is
excited. And he's trying to contain it. And he's
trying to contain it a little bit. I like crime.
And he says, I got to do something real quick
first. Make it like five minutes or less because
I'm out the door. I'll be there in just a second.
OK. And I'm going to go with Keela after I do
my thing. Cool. What's your thing? I'm going
to ask the bartender for a paper, a writing utensil
and like a letter. Sure. Like a like an envelope.
She supplies you with all of that. Cool. And
I'm going to write on the envelope. What do I
want to say? I want to say a two needs help.
Meet me in the alley of the glass stallion tomorrow
night and midnight. And I'm going to write it
up, put in the envelope, seal it. And interest
on our way out to commit a crime, I'm going to
drop it near the front door of the glass stallion.
OK. You're just dropping on the ground of the
glass. I'm gonna put it in a plant in say There's
a potted plant with some it's like a bush or
whatever. I'm gonna put it in there So it's sticking
out like just a little bit. So an observant person
would catch it Yes, gotcha. Somebody who's going
to the glass stallion to drink will not catch
this gotcha. Cool That's and you pop back inside
or on the way out with keela. Oh, okay. Cool.
Whatever Then you two head out. Let's do that.
Yeah, buddy. Is everyone else actually going
to go crime? I didn't lose any HP in the pit.
I'm ready to go. Okay. I did waste both my key.
But that's okay. I'm cooking, dude. So Keela
and Chris walk off together in the night from
the glass. Cool. Camera cuts. We go to blink
in his room. Oh, yeah. Link is sitting at the
edge of his bed. He is still what are you going
to do? Super bloodied and Worn down like one
HP. Yeah, he's on one HP since the end of the
last session and He's exhausted the drink kind
of helps, but he's just kind of like staring
out into like the distance for a second And then
he pulls out the lamp Motherfucker no He's gonna
kind of look at the lamp for a second like just
glaring at it And then he's gonna rub it. Oh
Man oh my gosh, I'm gonna have to like oh the
room Begins to fill with a soft blue mist emitting
from the spout of this lamp and as it Colleges
together and starts to take on a somewhat humanistic
form from the the torso up The camera is going
to cut. Oh, come on. Garrison will be back soon.
How did you get here? I was just thinking about
you and... Aww!