Kyle? Yeah. You can't find it right now because
you're supposed to start the recording. I'm waiting
for you guys to be quiet. Oh. My bad. What do
I say? Is there a way we've been starting it?
Do I need a session question too? Session question.
Oh no. Okay. I can send you one. There's going
to be a long pause. No, I'll think of one. Okay.
Oh, I got one. I got one. Okay. Okay. Hey guys,
you know What is up my guy now we'll do Hi everyone.
Welcome back to turn tales a D &D podcast kind
of sort of a little bit we don't promise to stay
on track, but we do promise to have a lot of
fun and Today's quest shesh session question
is what's your characters dream vacation? Oh,
I like that. I don't have a character so I'll
think about it My name is Kyle and I play Christ
of Wix's the heron gun Ranger Nomad Dude and
his favorite vacation would be Probably like
huge casino huge casino Where's the right that
don't write that down? Where's the where's the
biggest? Ritziest casino. It's in town baby not
to like Rob, but to like play And this is your
Percy Jackson arc your Lotus Hotel. Yeah Tell
hell yeah as the hair gone. Are you sure it's
not Easter Island Easter? Claps yeah When you
said big casino, I unfortunately thought of canto
bite from Star Wars. Yeah, yeah Hi, I'm Sean
major. I am the bone gin master on this bastardization
of Dungeons and Dragons that we play but I Have
to answer my dream vacation. I already answered
this one. So it's weird spoilers We record this
and sometimes we fuck up our order of things
But my dream vacation is somewhere. I want to
go to Ireland It's cold. It's wet. It's green.
And fuck, that sounds cool to me. I don't know.
People are nice. I get to drink alcohol and just
sit around and do nothing. And that's like expected
of me. Is that insensitive? Oh, my God. I don't
know. That's what my parents said when they went.
So that's probably what I would do. I love them.
Take it away fat nuts Hello, I'm fat nuts Like
that one twice never gonna play Howdy y 'all
I am obviously and Tana I play yeah, that was
awful the artificer goblin boy wonder Idiots
of on and biobies a dream vacation would be a
Big -ass casino And you know why Because everything
there is shiny. Oh No way. Yeah, that's it. That's
the answer and yeah, that's it. That's all I
got Yeah, big casino times two so far in my notes,
which is cool. I got you cow Hello, my name is
garrison. I'm playing vain the hex blade damp
here the noble from an underworld Empire veins
Most likely favorite location would be somewhere
very secluded, but also peaceful like somewhere
North early but still a forested region where
he could see the stars and like I imagine like
the northern lights or something like that It's
a very cool Place of solitude in retrospect so
contemplated. Yeah. Yeah, damn Literally the
gorgeous of solitude. So so solitude in Skyrim.
Whoa, essentially, although this this is like
What he thinks you want, right? Oh, maybe maybe
what he really needs is a journey not the destination.
Oh Holy shit, that's great. Anyway, I am Lord
of the Rings fans make me sick. Careful, you'll
alienate a whole audience. I'm kidding. Wink.
I am kidding. Nobody who likes Lord of the Rings
likes Dungeons and Dragons. Oh yeah, there's
no overlap. Hi, I'm Adi and I play Captain Keela
Sharp, Druid Swashbuckler Rogue, and Keela...
Hard to pick a favorite vacation when your whole
life is kind of one Kila would enjoy I think
Like island hopping with the sole purpose of
going from like Funport to Funport to Funport
Just to spend money and drink and be merry no
business No rules no problems all good times
all open ocean, baby Have I got the place for
you. Oh, boat casino. OK, OK, now we're good.
So it's like a typical cruise where you get on
the cruise and you do the cruise and then you
hop on to the island and then the island is actually
a casino. Yeah, I don't know how cruises work.
I mean, there's probably an island too. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. I'm trying. But is there an entire
island that's a casino? I don't think so. Probably
not. Yeah, that's true. Casino Island. Casino
Island is fucking awesome. Sounds like something
you'd find in like a James Bond movie. We should
do that season two. Casino Island. Escape from
Casino Island. Audrey is right. We do dick around
for an hour no matter what. It's inevitable.
But it's a usable dick. Is it an old dick? Maybe.
We're going to keep going to pass that one. Nope.
What is up? My name is Tim Swanson. I play Blink,
the Genasi monk, who's definitely the hero of
the story. And his favorite vacation spot would
be the Feywild, I think. He'd want to see the
world in between worlds, I think. Cool. That's
like a sick, real answer. That is like concrete
location. I really respect that. Moving forward.
Everyone ready? Absolutely. Everyone. It's taking
a long rest. Vampire guy. You do have to sleep,
right? Yeah. Yeah. That is kind of one of your
very few mortal burdens still. As for everyone
else, is there anything specific as you head
to bed? Any steps you would take? If yes, speak
now. If no, good night. So, yeah, as we're in
our nice little cots or you're in the closet.
Yeah, I'm literally standing. As if I would upright
in a coffin that's like the most coffin like
that's in the closet. Yeah, it's really cool
What's most like a coffin in this room? You can
just see me staring out from the darkness kind
of creepy Yeah, we would have taken all the the
pillows and blankets off of the bed and then
Created like a mound and then slept on that mound.
He's like sleeping staring at the ceiling Not
quite able to get to sleep. She's just gonna
call out and say fame Yes. Are you asleep? I
was trying. Oh, okay. Are you trying to sleep?
Yeah. Do you have something on your mind? Oh,
yeah. Yeah. What was it? So, so you remember
when they were talking about how Keela gets to
have a happy ending? Yeah, I think it was Keela
and And blink blink no Chris Oh Chris yeah Keela
and Chris get to have a happy ending Yeah according
to that Prophecy yeah the prophecy yeah that
does seem kind of weird. I mean why is is Fate
so set in stone? Why don't we get to have happy
endings? I Don't feel as though I understand
that yet. I Wish I knew it seems like then I
look at you just kind of like innocently sleeping
on this pillow about it. I'm like You should
have a happy ending No, I Don't know I thought
so that just doesn't seem fair. I Agree. I've
heard a lot of stories from someone once and
began to think that Not much is fair in this
world. I thought, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe
maybe fate's not like a thing that is always
happening and it's a thing that can sometimes
not happen or a thing that can change. Yeah,
I think a lot of things can change. You seem
to be able to make things out of practically
nothing. That's the greatest kind of change there
is. It's like a magical alchemy. Perhaps you're
right. Perhaps anything can change. If anything
can change, then fate is anything. And maybe
we'll make our happy endings. I used to be told
that fate is the one thing you can't change.
That's kind of the whole definition of it, but
I... I will agree with your optimism, for now.
It is much more comforting. I'm happy that they
get their happy endings. Because, you know, I
think that they need it more than we do sometimes.
Yeah. And maybe we'll just make ours. And it'll
be okay, too. Yeah. B .O .B. will. We'll have
ours. Our ending. We'll do it together. Yeah,
I'm sleeping now. Good night. He rolls over and
just left alone right then can no longer sleep
8 a .m. Be I was like and vein comes out of the
closet Great Does anyone else have anything before
we do a long rest? No, dude, you go to sleep
in your own room Blink you have the lens. Oh,
how big is it? Oh actually me and Chris are sharing
and Vane and Bo br very cool The lens is like
three feet across think like the top of your
coffee table out in the living room Could we
uh, I was gonna say could we argue that it could
fit under my pillow? No, you would you'd be like
Half -sleeping on you could like prop it behind
your pillow against the wall. So it's like I'm
gonna put it under the bed Very good. Let's do
a few things as you all take a long rest. Don't
reset anything quite yet because I'm going to
have Blink and Chris what is your actually I'm
gonna tell you a number and then you are going
to add up your hit points and you tell me if
I've Beat the total or not? Oh, no. 53. Oh, no.
You beat it. No, you didn't. Out of ours. Whoops.
Out of mine and yours. Yeah. And we're higher.
Yes. Yeah. So you did not beat. We're 56. Which
one of you has less? Me. OK. Blink. You succumb
to magical sleep unless you're immune to it.
No, no, I'm not. Is it lightning sleep? I'm resistant
to lightning. It is not lightning sleep, unfortunately.
What is lightning sleep? It's what the emperor
did to Mace Windu. Gave him the old lightning
sleep. Hey, that was fucking good. That's when
you sleep in a Lightning McQueen bed. Even better.
Hell yeah. You have the sleep spell cast into
your room. Blink, you immediately fall into the
effects of magical sleep. Chris, your passive
perception is 16. Two figures are walking into
your room and they are going to roll very lazy
stealth checks. Real people? Yeah, real people.
One of them fails and that is going to manifest
in the form of him speaking as he walks in. He
says, should be asleep. And he takes a step in
and you wake up as you hear. pair of feet shuffle
in the room, they don't immediately clock you
as awake. They seem very confident that their
magic worked. And they say, right, where is it?
And you hear the other voice say, looks like
they hit it. I'll have a look around. and you
hear the two sort of split up. One comes towards
your bed and starts looking around, and the other
will move towards the other side of the room.
They're both gonna roll investigation checks.
Feel free to act at any time if you'd like. I
wanna make this fair, right? So investigation
is gonna be Chris's side of the room, Blink's
side of the room. Blink's side of the room rolls
a 17, Chris's rolls a five. Oh, they're hidden
under the bed. Chris, you hear the figures move
towards or the one near your bed gives up quickly
and moves to the other side of the room. You
hear them both move away from you and they drag
this heavy lens out from under the bed. As soon
as I know I'm out of their gaze, I'm going to
get up and go to the door without being noticed.
OK, give me a stealth check. And on the way,
I'm grabbing my bow and arrow, which I keep at
the foot of the bed. Absolutely. Nineteen. Nineteen
is good. So I'm at the door and they're dragging
it. I'm going to take some liberty and say that
I'll let you choose, but somebody's door is right
across the hall. Sure. Absolutely. You guys would
be close. Whose door is that? Roll me a D6. Evens
it's Keela, odds it's the other two. Why did
you choose the hardest dice to get out of my
treasure chest? Any die would work, truthfully.
Oh, true. Evens it's... Evens it's Keela, odds
it's the other two. Got it. It's a one. Well,
no, it's a one. This is a second. And I was like,
you know what? Yeah. Well, Kila is not worth
two of each of these guys. That's crazy. He was
worth in my mind is more than one, but not. Not
quite more than not quite more than these guys.
Yeah. OK. I mean, Kiva went to bed drunk too.
She did not go to bed sober. And then I am going
to run across the hall. Open the door. Let me
ask you this first. Is it like middle of the
night? It is middle of the night. Like nobody's
in the bar. No one's in the bar. It's dead downstairs.
OK. The bartender is still there. Bartender is
still doing some cleaning. Much help. She's going
to be. Let's see, let's see trying to decide
if I want to try to wake them up without knowing
Without these guys knowing I did it or if I just
want it I'm gonna put you on a little bit of
a timer because they're moving with the lens
I think that's what I'm gonna do I'm going to
I am trying to like make a scene and wake them
up Can I can I get across the the thing? Pound
on the door open it and get back to this door
before They know what's happened. Maybe they'll
hear it But like they're like, oh, and they're
pulling this thing and it's heavy. And we can
roll initiative here because they will be they
will be acting once you make a noise. Right.
Because if you're trying to make a noise to wake
people up, it's going to be a certain level.
Right. Is anyone else in the hallway? No, not
when you immediately step out. It's OK. Quiet,
dark hallway. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna run across, bang, bang, bang. Okay,
and then try and spend the last bit of your movement
getting back to the door. Yep, and then head
back to the door. You could easily do that in
one turn. Perfect. So you get to do all that
in the time that they pull this out from under
the bed. That's what I'll do. Perfect. Passive
perception goes to the sleepers? 20. None at
20. Okay. Hell yeah. The other? We in the biz
call that a dirty 20. That's a John Hamm. You
John Hamm? First roll of the session. B .O .B.
is really sensitive to this thing. At 20, so
you can wake up instantly. You can be on your
feet this turn and at the door. Like a cartoon
character scrambles out of bed and then gets
to the door. It jumps up and his legs are going
in the air. Within a split second, his ear is
to the door and he says, hello? He's moved away
from the door. What is happening? Yeah, you do
wake up at the 20th. I banged on the door and
I and I ran back and and I mean to say something
like, B .O .B. Vane! Just to kind of get their
attention. B .O .B. Vane, will you come here
for a minute? And that's it. And then I mean.
Is this an initiative thing like I'm about to
do you if you want to take another move you see
them? Recognize you as you make a loud noise
and then as you shout they are readying to do
something One of them is going to take on carrying
the lens while the other seems to square up a
little bit you Recognize him instantly now that
you're looking right at him He's the guy who
sold you the information to get you into the
auction house ha ha jerk hilarious, but Who's
who's the garris who is the one carrying the
lens garris or the crony crony? Do I recognize
the crony? No, you may have seen him Here at
some point in the bar, but you don't you haven't
had a conversation with them. Okay, sure I mean
I'm gonna draw an arrow and I'm gonna fire it
at You said he's holding on his back. I'm gonna
I'm gonna aim for his arm the crony the crony
cool And try to get him Ho that's a 23 cool.
Okay, perfect 23 does in fact hit his arm exactly
where I was aiming Yep, absolutely because I
want him to drop the thing. Absolutely, and I
guess I'll do I Guess I'll do Eight damage you
hit him for eight damage He lets out a scream
and he covers his mouth pretty quickly to try
and silence it he goes And sort of drops the
lens puts it on the ground and slaps Garrus,
who seems to be pretty locked into fighting with
you. So I think now it's going to default to
their turn, which is, I'm sorry, going to be
pretty anticlimactic. Garrus makes a wisdom save
to make a wise choice and lowers his hands. And
he says, tell the one eyed girl I said hi. And
he grabs the crony with the lens and the two
of them in a pop of seafoam green mist disappear.
I have such a crush on this guy. He sucks so
bad. You guys join the party to a slight mist
you may have seen vaguely for a second some people,
but they quickly disappear Who are those guys
you can all roll arcana if you want as he as
he pops out of existence. I will try Bo be you're
rolling that at disadvantage, buddy. You don't
know spells. Oh, yeah, just himself He didn't
take the lens with him. We still have the lens.
No it went with him. Oh, okay He grabbed he grabbed
crony bro. Yep crony 30 laughs as well for that
cool Disadvantage 11 13 Wow, I love getting a
full night uninterrupted Yes, so The rest of
you vein what was your total 13 13 not quite
enough. He had teleportation magic of some kind,
right? They're definitely not invisible I'll
give you that four of you are standing awake
as Kila is still asleep it I'm sorry three of
you. Sorry blink is blink is still on comic is
still and okay, right? Let me see if sleep is
concentration. I know another answer. It's a
it's a minute Okay, so he'll be up pretty soon
like very soon vein will go up to blink and try
to What's going on with him and try to shake
him awake that works? Yeah that wakes him up
cool I'm sorry, but you were in the magical slumber
What are you talking about? Just because you
can't sleep. No, look, something happened. What
happened? Lens is gone. Lens is gone. It's gone.
It's gone. What do you mean it's gone? I mean,
it's gone. You mean it's gone. Yeah, I did. I
super did. Two guys snuck in here and I woke
up and you didn't. And they grabbed the lens.
Had to bring that up. Well, you know, it's like
that's that's kind of like, why did I wake up
and he did it? And oh, OK, I tried to get B .O
.B. and and vain to come help. And poof, they
were gone. You didn't stop them. Sure did my
best, do you trust me? I got one of them in the
arm, but the other guy, it was the guy, it was
Garrus. It was the guy that you guys had talked
to, that we had all talked to. Oh, Garrus, how
is he? He sucks, he's really bad. He's really
bad, I hate him a lot. I hope things get better
for him. Yeah, yeah. And it's, yeah, so I don't
know what to tell you guys. I guess the adventure's
over. Come visit anytime. I don't know where
I'll be, but come visit. There's my door is always
open. All right. You guys do have to go back
to bed if you want to heal and stuff from along.
Oh, man. This is the inn that we met him in,
no? Yeah. So do you think he's still here? I
think he doesn't live here, does he? Go downstairs.
Didn't think he'd come downstairs. They always
return to the scene of the crime He's still here.
I mean we'll get yeah, okay. Let's yeah, I mean,
that's a good thought. Let's go look for him.
I Don't would I don't want the lens you guys
I will remind you some of you are pretty low
on the health department. Yeah, maybe the only
one sleeping is oh Be obi's not good either.
Oh, yeah. Well, I mean this is a big event that
just happened Are we so tired that we would be
like? Well, I really need those eight hours.
Maybe not. I don't know if you're right. You
could get on investigating right now I get it.
Absolutely. Is there something I can roll to
know how far he could have teleported? You were
asleep. You didn't really see it I do have proficiency
with Arcana If you did then maybe at a lot, but
let's let's just say if you weren't there to
witness it It would be such a you'd be guessing
right you can soundly say they teleported out
anyone have anything they want to do You are
allowed to go start checking this out. You can
go ask questions. You know this guy's name. Maybe
not his last name, but you know who he is. There's
people. The bartender's awake like you sussed
out. How long do we have to do this before we
lose our chance to long rest? You can always
take a long rest. It'll just wake you up later
in the day. Yeah, true. Technically, you can
have an hour of downtime. You did get into combat,
but I would allow as long as you don't like...
Spend more than an hour gathering information
right now. You can continue this long rest and
get up at like a normal hour. Okay. Yeah Yeah,
probably use Kiela's help. Do we yeah go get
her? No, no, no fun waking her up look I'm not
dealing with that shit Four -way rock -paper
-scissors to find out who wakes up Keila. Here
we go. I don't want to. I love that this is not
the first time this has happened in this podcast.
Let's do it. That's why we're playing four -way
rock -paper -scissors. Here we go. This cuts
into the hour, by the way. We'll go quick. Ready?
On shoot. One, two, three, shoot. Ready? One,
two, three, shoot. No, no jokes. Let's keep going.
You did paper. We all did rock. One more time
on shoot we go one two three shoot Do we figure
it out? Yeah wait nobody also has to she has
like four three HP. I do I have three hit points
But it's funny if you do do I get it So hey you
got this And he's gonna go up and he's gonna
lightly tap on the door and be like I didn't
work guys and I'm gonna say and I'm gonna say
keep doing it and Don't come downstairs without
her and then I'm gonna go downstairs What if
we find the lens before kill it wakes up Okay,
okay Okay, so you head downstairs the bartender
is cleaning tables downstairs and She shifts
her gaze as you come down, but kind of goes back
to what she's doing unless you interact with
her Hey, how you doing? Long shift tired. Yeah,
me too We're looking have you seen garris. We
were we're supposed to see garris here somewhere
He went upstairs a bit ago. I come back down
didn't seen him have not awesome Sleep well,
and I'm gonna go out the front door and see if
he's in the street you step out immediately You
don't see him running around in the street at
a left or right You can give me an investigation
check around the building if you want to take
some time to do that Yeah, go outside and and
I guess these guys are with me too. Yeah, they
can be we all together. Yeah Yeah, BoB would
follow. Yeah, go. We're gonna look around the
building look for some do you have your Doug
briefcase? No, oh you left him. Yeah. Oh, he's
got a he's got a repair. Okay And Vane, you're
going with? Yeah. Cool. I'm just going to tug
on Chris's whatever Chris wears and just going
to say, maybe it's just better that the thing's
gone. It's it's not it's not something we should
really. I don't I don't want it. I don't want
it either. But no one should. Maybe it's just
better than just it's gone. Why do you be? What
did you see when you touched? The lens. I don't.
It wasn't good. It was just just didn't feel
good. I feel pretty I feel pretty bad about I
like us. We're pretty good people. Are you a
good person? I don't know. Are you a good goblin?
I don't know. I think you are. I think we all
are. And I don't think you are either. And those
guys that those guys that took it, I don't think
they're good people. And I think it's probably
better if they don't have it. What is. What do
good people and bad people do? Do good people
tell their friends to touch things they shouldn't?
Uh, yeah. Oh, wait, what? Well, you you told
me to touch the thing and it was really bad and
it hurt. That doesn't seem like something a good
person would do. But you're stronger than all
of us, Bill. You're like, man, he looks at his
foot, nothing. And I go like this up here, up
here. And and we we couldn't we couldn't handle
it, but you you're the only one who could have
I don't think I could have handled it either
I know you did or you are no, I'm not okay. I
didn't like it Just yeah Yeah, then just look
at him Are we going back to bed or what? No,
I mean Hey, that's not a wrong answer. I'm kind
of just gonna go back to I'm kind of just gonna
ignore him and keep looking and yeah I'll say
you did have a long day. So if you want to go
back to bed, that's cool B. Obie. Yeah, we're
just counting Leaves. Thanks B. Obie. You're
the man you go inside B. Obie. You're the goblin
man You're going back upstairs. Yeah as you hit
the stairs you hear the bartender say hey I meant
to mention this note came by earlier. Oh, it's
from a Vance. It takes a second to remember Vance's,
but. Oh, OK, yeah. It's not meant for you specifically.
Oh, OK. He said the girl or the rabbit. Hmm.
Yeah, OK, sure. Tough choice. And she hands off
this like wax sealed letter to you. Thanks, friend.
And she turns away and starts going back to cleaning
her table. He waves and then walks back up the
stairs. She stops and looks back at you and says,
Hey. Hey, there's a place under this place. Oh.
And if Garrus is playing a little disappearing
act, well, wouldn't hurt to look down there to
be pretty dead this time of night. Most folks
probably just cleared out. Can I wait till the
morning? I'm tired. Being my guest. Okay. See
what thing's stolen, not mine. Sorry about it.
I want to say I don't know how he figured it
out, but... Ah, nobody said anything about anything
being stolen, but this might just be information
she knows. If you guys are looking for Garrus,
she's got a good idea. Heard. Got it. Carry on.
Mob B. Can you point me to the door? To where?
Under? To the under place? Well, there's one
under the bar and that's the main one, but...
If you don't want to draw so much attention coming
in, you go out into the stables on the east side
of the building, stall number eight under the
hay, you'll find a trap door. Okay. I don't remember
what the password is. Open? I think it's a knock.
Oh, I know how to do that. All right. Easy. Best
of luck. Thank you. Friend. Friend. She goes
back to cleaning. B .O .B.'s going to head upstairs.
You see Blink has finally worked up the courage.
He's doing like a knock and then cowering. Like
a single knock. And then he'll like kind of wait
a second and listen. And then he'll do one more
knock and wait. Hey! Oh, hi buddy. Uh, I think
I know where... Garrus is. You do? No, I'm not
for certain, but the lady downstairs that keeps
the bar, she gave me some secret information.
Well, tell me. Okay as a yeah, we walks over
and like starts knocking on the keyless door
I mean if you know where garrison we don't need
to wake her. It's okay. I think everyone should
know if I have to know I Don't think we're the
best two for this he throws open the door and
like he's got a lot of Curly hair. She's got
the craziest bedhead ever seen in your life and
like if looks could kill She's got like a bruise
creeping up on her jaw from getting Molly walloped
on top of the opera house. Somebody had better
be fucking dying. Hi, Keila. The lens was stolen,
but I think we know what Garrus is. We have an
emergency. Come on. We got to go. What are you
waiting for? Get me like two seconds, mate. You
can go back to bed if you want. Well, I'm up
now. Okay, let's go. You've made certain of that.
I'm sorry, you said the lens was stolen. That
thing that we just went through all that shit
to get and to bring here and that we hold through
the front fucking door. That is still correct.
And it's stolen, stolen how? By people. Yeah,
uh, Garus took it. Garis? Okay. Yeah. How'd he
pull that one off, the little shit? Well, like,
sneakily. You, I was sleeping, and... Right.
I was also sleeping. And then they came and took
it, and Chris tried to stop them, but they teleported.
Teleported? Oh, so he's a magic man, then. I
guess so. I missed it. She, like, rubs her eyes.
I'm a wee bit busted up. Are we... Are we handling
this right now? Is this something that we have
to handle now or is this something that we could
sort of like reconvene on in the morning? I kind
of just presumed that I was going to go back
to sleep. I mean, he's already taken the damn
thing, right? Yeah, I can't be any more taken.
And nobody knows where he went. Where did you
say he was? The lady at the bar that keeps the
bar said that he... Might be downstairs. There's
an under part to this part that we are currently
at. But not this particular part that we're at,
because it's upstairs. Under the bar. Under the
bar. And then she said something about if we
want to go in the front door, we go to the bar.
And if we want the back door, then the stables
and eight and knock. He's there right now is
what you're telling me. I don't know for certain.
Might be better to get the jump on him now. Where's
the rabbit? Looking for him. Okay, we can cut
that you want to roll an investigation check
outside. Yeah. Yeah anything specific You're
doing just looking for any kind of trail. He
might have took we can I hope yeah, let's do
that cool 18 nice 18 is pretty good you do a
full lap of the outside of this building and
You run through your head all the different teleportation
spells that you're aware of in the different
arcane libraries and the vampire lords Keep and
you have it on pretty good authority that if
a bleeding man jumped out this window and appeared
somewhere around here bleeding, you would spot
that trail. So probably didn't jump outside.
I believe he teleported far away. How far can
one possibly teleport like across the world if
you want? Really? No, he's at least is not outside.
The most concise way to say it is they didn't
teleport from that room. to the streets because
the the proximity spells that would get you there,
you would find some trace that they exist. He's
not out here, then he's gone enough by now and
nothing we can do. So, yeah, I'm going back to
bed. So you guys reentered the building as the
rest of your party is coming down the stairs.
And it kind of dashes your dreams of being able
to go back to bed, I think, as they head downstairs.
Nothing out there. I'm going back to bed. So
somebody. I won't name names or make eye contact
at the person who has told me this very important
information. As B .O .B glances over at the bartender.
Told me that this person that we are looking
for could be potentially underground. Underground?
Yeah, under this building. Don't confuse your
prepositions. Like he's not on the roof, he's
under. Under? Is this real? How do we get down
there? Let's do it. I knew I could count on you,
B .O .B. Yeah, the person again. Not naming any
names looks over at the bar. She is. She's kind
of shaking her head and trying to maintain the
idea that she's just not listening to you. We
could enter from the front door, which is where
was it again? She puts her rag on the table and
turns back and she says, Christ, the front door
is behind the bar and then install eight in the
stable. Oh, thank God. I don't have to remember
anything anymore. Is this somewhere that we're
able to go now? Did your goblin friend remember
to tell you about the note? Oh shoot, I haven't.
There's a note? I forgot about the note. No,
he actually did forget about the note, yes. He
left that part out. What's this about? An obi
obi. I have a note. No way. Can I see it? Yes.
Great, hand it over. Oh, right now, okay. Oh,
a person, I won't name names, said that either
the girl or the bunny can have it. Aye, that's
me, mate. Hand it over. All yours? Okay. I'm
just glad you're finally doing something useful.
I hand the note. Can I roll for quiet? Can I
roll for still? For mutter under your breath?
You don't have to roll for that. She's too sleepy.
She's allowed to assume that you muttered about
her, but she doesn't know what you said. Cool,
I crack this note open. It is addressed from
Vance Alexander. You pop that seal open and immediately
are met with some illusory ink that becomes visible
to you as it's open. And it very plainly in a
few sentences says, the purple bastard was right.
I'm not going to be able to come back right away.
I'd love to destroy the lens myself, but you're
going to have to do it. Kiela folds up the note
and sort of rubs the bridge between her eyes.
Alright, I think Vance is gonna be pretty pissed
that we've lost this thing. He wants us to break
it, for starters. It's already kind of broken,
isn't it? Break it? Why? I think we're good.
I don't know, he just said to break it. She waves
it around, hands the letter to Chris. We had
plenty of time to do that while we had it. Wish
we had known that before you guys went and got
it stolen. Did my best you probably couldn't
do much better. Let's go Just kidding. This is
very tired Should we go downstairs we could get
him now and we could just break it and leave
and then what's he gonna do? Hold on. They had
powerful magic. We should probably Do what? Go
five feet underground? They teleported and made
you sleep? I had to wake you up. Oh, well, we
had to wake Kila up too. Mate, that has nothing
to do with magic shit. It has everything to do
with the fact that I was fucking tired. If he's
underground, we get him and figure out what's
going on. And if he's not, then he's long gone
by now and we go back to sleep. I lean back and
look at the bartender. Oi, B .O .B.'s not doing
a great job covering your ass on this. Do you
mind providing some clarity to the rest of us
so that we're not playing telephone with the
wee green guy? I don't know how you came to the
deduction that... I don't care how, you know,
your information. I'm even willing to pay you
for it, but I'm sick of doing this shit. So if
I could just get it direct from you, that'd be
delightful, my darling. What'd you tell this
wee guy? has friends in high places, but in this
instance underground. So you would say he's got
friends in low places. Honestly, at this point,
I would say he's gone. I had to squeeze a little
country music in there. I loved it. I think as
long as it's under 30 seconds, we're good. Yeah,
absolutely. No, it's good. Cool. She says urgency
is not really your thing, is it? Here's the deal.
No, it's not. It's not. Garrus. looks out for
himself first. If he had your lens, he probably
hopped down to the pits. And then from there,
probably had a nice route to escape, probably
into the sewers. He's gone if you're not on his
tail now. Well, we've already missed it, so we
might as well turn around and go back to sleep
then. Good effort, guys. Anyone else? Anyone
against that idea? We can pick it up in the morning.
If he's gone, he's gone. It doesn't change tonight
or tomorrow. It's just true. Yeah, true. The
pits sounds like the pits. So let's If you're
gone, you're gone, right? Yeah. And maybe it's
just gone forever and then we don't have to look
at it anymore. Yeah, true. You talk like this
guy does this shit quite often. Does he look
back around if we sort of fuck around for a wee
bit of time? He doesn't do this often. What I'm
saying is if he is so bold to commit a crime
here on his home turf, I know exactly how he
got himself far away from here. So there's no
chance he's coming back or like? Eventually,
once he's been paid for what he stole from you.
So why are we all giving up? We've been given
a quest, people. And we're just going to let
him walk. We could chase him right now. Well,
10 minutes ago, maybe. Blink where did you learn
that? Is that a good fatal out to go say we all
go back to sleep All right, I'm gonna stop this
I can teach you some more hold on I'm gonna stop
this recording stop having fun You all get a
long rest yeah everything back if you expended
it it's yours to use once more. Actify with guns,
baby. I have a robot again. You all get a long
rest. You'll have all of your health, your resources
reset. Let's call it 8 a .m. or maybe a little
earlier, 7. Let's call it 7. But you got a full
eight hours, even with a nice hour interruption
in the middle of the night. You stir awake and
there's a few patrons drinking downstairs, but
not very many. There is a new bartender. He is
a young looking man with orange hair. He looks
pretty wiry, not like he could really hold his
own at all. But people seem to respect him. So
he's serving a few patrons at the bar. And that's
it. That's really all the movement in here. Not
a lot of chatter. People are keeping themselves.
We all step out of the doors at the same moment
and go. Nice big stretch sharp dressed man place
as we slow mo down the stairs in our pajamas.
What's the direction for the day? It's a good
question. Are we like all in the hallway? Like,
yeah, what are we looking around like that awkward?
Yeah. So that happened. So do we like, do we
got to go down like in this basement and shit?
Do we think he was even going to be down there
or we just sort of fucking him out? Honestly,
I'm kind of down to just fuck about because either
way, it's fun to go down there. Yeah. Do we even
know what's down there? Now you guys want to
go down cool, okay? Yeah, are you like? Did you
sleep at all? He looks like especially moody
today? Do you think we can get him to say another
swear word? My face looks like we could probably
get him to say another swear word as as novel
and fun as fun that as that was I I didn't like
it that much It's a wee bit off -putting right?
Yeah, like mess kind of squeaky mess with the
image that I have of him We should get me over
me to say a swear word next hey be over me say
fuck What say fuck what's that all right? It's
just a word. It's funny What's funny, it's a
good word This is what you wanted us to do right
here. We are playing the game all right I bit
my tongue But I sensed it all right do you even
know what the deal is with the whole basement
is that like I? Don't want to I don't want to
go down there totally blind I think we should
maybe try to find some information out about
About the spot. Maybe the bartenders. Maybe we
go ask the what's -her -name Scrawny little guy
that's over there. Oh, why don't we go right
down there just stealthily Stealthily what do
you mean? We are paying page. Oh, you mean like
downstairs. Yeah into the secret area the pits
Well, we either have to go behind the bar where
that guy is and all these people are watching
or we got to go I mean we could go stick around
and see if there's that stables entrance. She
did say that was the secret way. That's the secret
way. And secrets are fun, right, P .O .B.? And
secrets are fun. Some secrets are fun. What secrets
aren't fun? The ones that hurt people. Secrets
are great fun. Oh, secrets can hurt people? Oh,
yeah. Oh. I'll tell you when you're older. How
much older? Like two or three hours. Oh, OK.
Ducks at a timer for two to three hours. Does
this mean we're not? Splitting up? I'm sorry,
do you want to? No, usually just after adventures
are over, everyone leaves. Oh, now you think
it's over? Oh, I mean, it's not over. We stopped
it with we fucked up. We got a lead. We have
to fix it. Hang on. We is a really strong word
here. Uh, you guys fucked up. I'm sort of hanging
around. Whoa, you guys. Okay, let's maybe more
specific than if you really want to. You said
we collectively, so... Well, I don't, you know,
it's better for everyone to... Never mind. Vane
realizes, you know what? It's gonna be pretty
hard to be the glue for these kind of people.
Look, it doesn't matter all that much. The thing's
fucking gone. So I'm sort of just here to have
a good time at this point. And it seems like
there might be something fun. That might be like
the second thing I've agreed with you on. Yeah,
let's do it. What was the first one? Getting
B .O .B. to curse. Yeah. There we go. That's
two. Wait, I thought you were against it. Getting
B .O .B. to curse? Yeah. No, I was. But she jumped
right into it. But I was going to say, I'll bet
you 20 gold pieces I can do it first. I was about
to say that, but I didn't. You got 20 gold pieces?
Because then she came out guns blazing and said,
say fuck. Dang it. She is. Pretty good at that.
Did he say it? No, he did. I'm proud of you.
He got really stressed out about what was being
asked. Got you, got you. What's funny? I don't
get it. What's the plan? We're going to go poke
around, what was it, stall eight? Stall eight.
Cool. All of us together? Yeah. Yeah, might as
well. Do we want to ask around about the pits
at all? It'd be good to know as much as we can
about it, or do we just go? Maybe we just go.
Let's just go here. We go At the very least we
can see where it's at and see if people are like
coming and going I look over at the bar are people
like Going behind it like using what is considered
this main entrance Can you see the entrance?
It's a trapdoor behind the bar. It's a trapdoor
But there are there people walking behind the
bar No, you use it in the few moments. You've
been downstairs. You haven't seen anyone go behind
the bar and underneath If we just do it like
we know what we're doing. Do you think anyone
would even bat an eye? No, no, I like that actually.
I don't think anyone drinking at 7 a .m. Cares
what we do So you want to walk behind the bar
and do this shit If I go on Blake stop talking
great idea. Hey, I'm halfway out the door. I
start walking Chris is heading out to the secret
entrance. Yeah, I'm going to go check out the
stable entrance. And I put a hand on Blink's
shoulder and like, but by all means, mate, go
ahead, walk behind that bar, pull that trap door
and see if you can get down there without anybody
noticing out the door. I go, we'll meet you down
there. We'll see which way is faster. I'll meet
you at the back entrance with the thing. Yeah,
go ahead. Open, open the door for us with the
thing. I was saying I was going to get it back.
That's a lot of confidence there you go mate,
okay, so who goes with who anyone saying with
blank I turned to blink I'm like actually if
we come from both sides Not the bad idea, and
then I'll like I'll go with you Yeah, veiny No
Okay, I will go with you under the circumstances
that you'll never fucking call me that yeah The
pack is going to be more secret, so I will do
back. OK. OK. Go team. So three and two split.
The three go outside. It's going to take longer
to get there. So let's go to the crew that is
here in the tavern. That is Blink and Vane. What's
the plan? Then I say we just go for it. Agreed.
As nonchalantly as possible blink is just gonna
walk behind the bar towards the trapdoor Okay,
you're trying to look like you belong here, right
trying to be whistling any is there any check
you'd associate with this either performance
or Performance performance. Okay persuasion or
persuasion. Sure. Oh silly. Okay Or deception
or deception. Yeah, whatever you want to do we
have inspiration this session you have three
each Plus, the table has some, because of some
questions you answered. That's a 24. Did you
just John Ham? John Ham! 19 and a 20, so a 24
and a not 20. Yeah, you stroll up behind the
bar as he is talking to some of the patrons.
And as soon as you step behind the bar, you see
this kid shoots you a glance and takes a few
steps to the left to get his foot off of a trap
door. And as you lift the ring, he looks over
his right shoulder and he says, he good beavers
today, are we? And that's all he says as you
pop the trap door open and it's a ladder down
into like a torch lit dirt passageway under the
bar. Oh, Blink is just going to kind of give
him an awkward smile and a head nod and then
head on down. Nice. Bane shrugs and follows.
Yeah, eating beavers today, aren't we? Closes
the trapdoor behind you guys When you make your
way out of the rocky part of this passageway
It eventually gives way to some wooden steps
inlaid into the dirt and at the end of those
steps There's a door that is hung wide open you
see as you Look down the entryway and eventually
take some steps in it is a massive room That
has a main passageway through the middle and
a few what looks like arena low walls on the
right and the left side of the center passageway.
This looks very evident to you as a place where
a sort of gladiatorial style combat takes place.
And these individual arenas, they are sunken
into the ground. These giant pits, some of them
large, some of them even smaller, just as small
as like a 10 by 10 foot square. Some of them
are covered in blood. Some of these pits have
small like terrain obstacles set inside of them
meant for you to be able to hide behind or used
to your advantage. And a quick glance around
shows that this room is lit with torches, but
there's not a lot of people moving around. It's
pretty dead with maybe one person on the side
of the room who is sweeping the floors. This
room is gross. The guy across the room doesn't
seem to pay you any mind. You do see every so
often there is a bar where drinks are available
and on each one of these bars, there is a weird
black box that is sitting on each of the bars
right in the center. that is probably like the
size of a bread box or a microwave that has a
black almost felt covering to it, but doesn't
seem to serve any purpose. But there is one on
each one of the three bars in this giant room.
I'll wave over at the dude brooming. You wave
at the dude brooming and he gives you a nod.
But you do notice that he stops sweeping and
leans it up against the door and. goes to the
far side of the room to a set of stairs and goes
up them and disappears into this loft office
space. He disappears for only about 15 seconds
before he comes back down, grabs the broom and
starts sweeping. I wouldn't pay him any mind.
I would just keep walking. Any other moves? Any
roles you want to do while you're down here?
Anything like that? I'll go up the office that
you described. Oh, OK, cool. So you start heading
across the entire way. Very cool. Let's cut to
our other group. Thank you. I do anything with
that. No, I was going to I was going to look
around and see if there are any like items or
anything on the floor. Like, oh, like it is or
anything. There's definitely some broken equipment.
But if you want to, like, look in all of them
and see if you can find anything worth keeping,
you can spend some time investigating if you
want it. Yeah. Yeah. I would just want to, like,
look around and see if there's anything like
not just like a dagger, but anything that, like,
stands out magical, anything. Sure. Absolutely.
Yeah. Give me a role investigation. 12. In this
room, it doesn't seem like there's an armory
anywhere. However, you are scanning all of the
different pits and down in one of them, you do
see the hilt of a sword that seems to be slightly
covered by a rock. It doesn't look like it's
squished by the rock, but the rock has an outcrop
that the sword is slid under. So maybe whoever
cleans the pits missed that that sword was there.
If I jumped down, I should be able to get back
out. Right. Yeah, yeah, easy cool. I'll go get
it. Especially as a monkey easy cool So you hop
down and as you hop into the pit will go to the
B team the three of you outside you Approach
these stables. You're not paid too much attention
to there's like two people working here who are
tending to the horses and They don't even look
at you as you walk by as you get to stall eight
It's just like it was said you can move some
hay in the center and there's another wooden
trapdoor there with no handle on the outside
It's just flat. I'm in a pull out a knife from
my belt and see if I can wedge it in this seal
without a handle and Okay, give me an extract
here to pry it up. I Think I think of these she
said just knock natural 20. I do that natural
20 24 and begin to wrench it up. It's easy to
get leverage, but there's a metal latch that's
holding it closed. Even when you get the knife
to lift the panel, it moves about three inches
and then stops suddenly. But your sudden gusto
to make it go through all in one push means that
that latch gives and shatters as there's a slight
clink that maybe is loud on the outside. But
you're not too worried about people below as
the door swings wide open for all of you because
the security on a secret passageway. The latch
looks old and deteriorated. I said what I said.
Do any of us have any interest in actually going
down here or where we just fill in time? Because
here's the thing if there are no people coming
and going and we go down there And we're not
supposed to be down there at this point But there
is a point where we might be able to be down
there. Are we blowing up our spots? Hey, we made
it through the the heist pretty good. Yeah, you
got a point Pop the door all the way open and
climb down. What is it? Like a ladder? Yeah,
it's a ladder Yeah, absolutely right behind you
girlfriend. Are you? Yeah. OK, cool. Do you go
down with them? Yeah. Great. We get the door.
OK. Thanks, buddy. The door goes. You slam it
closed behind you. You face a similar passage.
It's a bit longer and it winds in this like rocky,
dusty passage that is lit dimly by lights every
so often. Eventually you see a small gap that
you're able to squeeze through. Is Doug still
in briefcase mode? Yes. OK. So you're able to
carry Doug through this gap. And yeah. As you
squeeze through there is a brighter light ahead
and you find yourself in a small passageway behind
the shelves of a bar and you can see into this
room and you see Blink hopping over the side
of one of these low fences and then suddenly
letting go and falling away out of sight in a
way that maybe you weren't prepared for but as
he disappears out of sight not seeing you because
you're pretty well hidden behind the shelf you
are Also just seeing veins stride across the
room to a set of stairs and is starting to head
up them All right. Here's the thing when they
ask how long we've been here We tell them that
we got here before they did it's just funnier
that way. I'm cool with that That makes sense.
I was thinking of doing a spooky voice, but that's
kind of even funnier. Hang on. Your voice is
cool. Speaky voice is pretty good Well, don't
make it too spooky though. Okay, what level one
to ten spooky for for that's not It's too spooky.
Six, take it or leave it. Let me hear it first.
Six is going to be, how dare you enter our sacred
passageway. Okay, six is fine. How dare you enter
our sacred passageway, where 10 ,000 generations
of dead are buried. You defile their graves.
Oh no, oh no, oh no. It's for Vane. Shut up,
shut up. Put a hand over his mouth. I got really
into it. It got really scary. The door behind
the bar opened suddenly and you see the face
of a tired looking man. He's got dark circles
under his eyes and he's holding a broom. He's
got overalls on and he goes, all right. And he
puts his broom down and you see him go walk across
the room towards the stairs that vein is now
at the top of and vein. You see as you come up
to the top of the stairs, it is a room the width
of the room below but it is about 15 feet deeper
and there is a large wooden desk centered in
it bookshelves on either side of him behind him
as well as a large filing cabinet and you see
a man in a large coat with Giant collar that
pulls up to around his face. He's hunched over
his desk working on something writing you can
tell and he looks up He also has tired eyes.
They're like a flat gray. It's almost his eyes
are only a slightly darker hue than the white
around them. And he stops what he's doing and
he raises his eyes and he says, well, speak.
What are you working on? Personal matters. I
may have walked into the wrong room. I'd say.
You seem lost. I haven't seen your face around
here. I haven't. Well, you haven't seen all the
faces around you. I suppose that's true. You've
come into my space. How can I help you? Do we
know this guy at all? You've never seen this
guy. He looks like he's probably like 56 years
old. Time has been nicer to people than it is
to him, but he's not ugly. His skin's just a
bit weathered. Yeah, trying to recover, I step
closer and just extend my hand. I am vain. He
nods, he looks at your hand. Don't mean to offend,
but people like me can smell the undead from
far away. And, well, I'd have negative repercussions
from shaking that hand. Don't take it personally.
You've come to my office, and I am a very busy
man. But... My door is open for everyone, so
I'm willing to give you some time. How can I
help you? I step back removing my hand. Have
you seen Garrus? No, not today, but you don't
seem like you're looking for him because you're
happy with him. None of your business? Right.
We just have business to take care of, is all.
You see? Garrus is one of my people. Why would
I simply sell him out to anyone who came by asking?
We just have more to discuss with him. Business?
Yeah. As I said. You're not from the wealthy
district poking around about the robbery, because
he was here all night last night. I can assure
you. I didn't hear about any robbery. Certainly
not. He's referencing like the whole heist, right?
Yeah, he's so referencing the auction. No, I'm
not surprised you haven't heard of it. Well,
I have friends in high spaces. I get a lot of
information early. I assume people will know
soon enough. It's early after all. Now. Now that
my answer is no, I will not sell you out with
Garrus unless you provide me with a better reason
to. He's stolen an item that was present at that
auction, I believe. I don't know anything more
about it. Well, no, that's not a deception. That's
the truth. He has stolen an item that was present
at the auction. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Garrus, not
Garrus. Oh, this guy, this man nods and he says,
okay, so he's made off with something from the
auction. Who cares? Highfalutin people don't
need it. He'll probably make better use of it.
Why should I care? I think it is an item of great
power. Seems like you'd be interested in such
a thing based on your studies here. Because I
look like I want power? You'd be interested in
what others can do with power. And how that might
be of advantage to you. You're telling me that
Garrus has come into something that's going to
give him a large amount of power? Perhaps. Well,
that is troubling. That's different. He's one
of my people. That doesn't mean I trust him completely.
Here's the deal. You're not here alone, are you?
No. Right. Grab your friends and bring them up
to me. Alright. I have something I need - And
all the black boxes start playing something.
Hello there, my no good good doers. It is I,
the voice of the people, interrupting your day
for another candid conversation. If you have
two ears and an intelligence score above four
- You probably heard about last night's auction,
where the city's wealthy elite gathered to rub
elbows and purchase stolen artifacts with money
they've stolen from you. And where money is stolen,
that cigar -smoking weasel and his enslaved elementals
are just behind the curtain. Reports say this
rotten cantaloupe found himself on the losing
side of a bidding war against newcomer Jon Hamm
over what can only be described as a... replacement
top -for -a -glass table. If you ask me, 6900
gold is a lot to pay for a purely decorative
item. But, those with an eye for the arcane may
have seen something more sinister. Before news
of this successful auction breaks tomorrow, I
encourage you to stop by the south side of the
Opera House and decide for yourself. If the door
-size hole in the wall doesn't make you think
otherwise, the Scorch Marks might. Well my friends,
my time has come and I've run out of it. Remember.
The world will try to turn tales around you,
but the walls will always whisper the truth to
those who know how to listen. Until next time...
He said the thing! He said the thing! He stopped
you to listen to the entire thing and he goes,
See? Told you. My news is a bit faster, but reliable
sources are right behind. Well, you know more
than me now. Gather your friends. Let's have
a discussion. Alright. So you want to head back
and go get everyone? Yeah, is everyone coming
together? Well, I was trying to spook him but
I'll be coming down the stairs blank. You're
pulling yourself out of the pit. You have a short
sword now bonus to your name It's not dented
chipped or anything special. But is it bloodied?
Yeah, absolutely This was used in a fight at
some point and seems to have been knocked to
the side and out of sight of whoever cleaned
the pit Oh, you've picked up a real weapon. It
looks like do you even know how to swing that
thing? I'm going to look at her and then Blink's
going to look really, really scared. He's going
to be like, I just killed Garis. Yeah, fat chance.
OK, he throws his sword back in his pit. All
for a bit. I respect the hell out of that. Chris
is like, you had me for like a second. Very cool.
I walk down. I say, anything worth stealing up
there? Probably. I didn't get a good look at
that, but I met a - What'd you go up there for?
Met a guy. He wasn't very helpful, but he might
help us now that I gathered up the rest of you.
He'll be able to tell you much more than I can.
Also, I say this much more quietly, the news
is out about everything that went down at the
auction. Yeah, we heard. Doesn't sound like -
Oh. Oh. Oh, everyone heard that. It was pretty
loud. Yeah, you mentioned Don Ham. That's pretty
cool. I've never heard of such magic that...
that... How did you hear...? Well, anyway, let's
go. Hang on, before I go up those stairs, you're
talking to someone. What's his name? Do you know
who he is? I offered him my name and he was really
rude about it and didn't give me his name at
all, so... Alright, so you don't know this man's
name. No. You expect us all to go up to talk
to him? He knows Geras. So how much did you...
Hey, real quick. How much did you tell him about
our situation? I didn't reveal very much at all.
Alright, but he wants to talk to all of us? He
somehow knew that the rest of you were here.
I have no idea how. Gela, we're friends. When
are you going to learn to trust some of us? The
guy with the broom off to your right goes...
After you say you have no idea how Here's here's
the thing blink is y 'all just keep going running
around running your mouths and shit to these
people who you don't know You don't know who
they're affiliated with and you just are telling
them your names and your business and at least
we're not killing them We did kill that guy yesterday
well one scoreboard Drop in the bucket drop in
the bucket by the time you hit about ten you'll
forget the one and Then it's all just sort of
a blur after that. It's not a big deal. It's
sounding like the Lord You've got to stop telling
people our business. It's how we're getting shit
stolen in the first place is you can't keep your
damn mouth shut Sounds like you need to talk
to someone. Okay, I promise you I did not give
away any valuable information We all right. Well
see about that ruffles. All right, you go up
the stairs on You head up the stairs all of you
together. Yeah. Yeah, I pop up to the top of
those stairs and you see this figure and his
big old dusty brown coat with his Dusty ass skin
and his dusty ass Terry's a dusty ass, dude.
You know what I'm about to ask you. What is he
hot? Yeah, he's hot. Okay Dusty but hot dusty
and hot is the worst Old man is he not he's like
56 the two things can coexist. No, I'm not saying
they can't I'm just Plenty reasonable to still
be hot So he looks up and he looks like he's
about to say something and then the rest of you
come around the corner He goes all good. I was
worried. I would have to Repeat myself a few
times, but I'm glad you're all here. Someone
in my group stole from you, as I understand.
Oh, interesting. Hey, Vayne, that part where
you said that, I didn't tell him. I want to rewind
and say I never said they stole from us. Don't
yell at your friend. I have ears all around.
I know what Garrus has done to you, and I want
to help. Here's the deal. I can't tell you exactly
where he went. I don't have that answer. I can't
say I'm the closest with the boy. Odds are, he's...
Got something to gain from giving this thing
away. What can you tell me about the thing? I
don't know. I should be telling you anything
about it at all. Now, that's a clever girl right
there. I could be using all that information
against you. After all, I am potentially aiding
a bedding garris. That's correct. I've got no
idea who the fuck you are. Let's start with the
name. Rory is what my friends call me. I haven't
gotten everyone's names. It wasn't something
you really shared with anyone in the tavern.
I'm biobi And it's a pleasure to meet you not
a lot of goblin kind in well welcome friend Welcome
to you friend. Thank you as for the rest of you.
Like I said, we'd like to help you What do you
need for me? I can tell you that Geris hangs
out with some people on the north side of town
the richer folk that surprises me Well, he likes
to make money. Yeah, I get that. That's fair.
And he'd be with these people on a regular basis,
like if we went there today, we'd find him. I
can't say that for certain, but I can tell you
what, if he's not here, I'd imagine he's there
on the upside of town. Were you here last night?
Yes, I'm here every night. Did you see him last
night? Around what time? The middle of the fucking
night. 2 -3 a .m.? Presume I was sleeping while
you think he came down here. There's a small
chance. All right. Well, let's check something
out. You want upies? You want upies? No? No?
The circlet? How many words? B .O .B. is going
to leave the room. Okay, you start going down
the stairs. B .O .B. I want to push your aids!
Where is the gentleman who had a broom? He's
near the bottom of the stairs. He's still sweeping.
He he looks a little scared and takes a step
back. He goes what sorry thoughts quick you clean
Yeah, yes, I do. Yeah, you do. Did you just cleaning
up any blood last night? That was a clean up
a lot of blood so not in the pits outside of
the pits Oh, well, yeah, there was some on the
floor. Oh nice. Oh What time when did you do
that? Oh, it was late in the night I think. Hold
on. Stay right there. Maybe early morning. I
run up. The guy with the broom. What about him?
Yeah, yeah. He cleaned up blood last night. In
the morning. OK. The guy I shot. Yeah. Nice.
Yeah. Yeah. How about him? I want to say, hearing
this new information, could I ask the guy one
more question? Sure. If Geras were to be here
last night. What does he typically do around
this place? Well if he's down here, he's usually
taking bets on the fight. However, if he's sneaking
around, I imagine he's looking for a way out.
You think he was sneaking around down here? No,
I think he was sneaking around up in their fucking
room. And then from there, who knows? There's
the two ways in here, right? There's the one
where you got to go in the stables. By the way,
you're going to need to get that lock repaired.
No reason. He looks at you a little funny for
that, but shakes it off. It was an old lock.
It was going to happen sooner or later. And then
there's the spot behind the bar. They're like
a third way out of here. Yes, there's plenty
of ways out of here. In fact. Has he got a favorite?
Yeah, actually. and he gets up from his desk
and starts to walk past you down the stairs.
And he walks up to a door underneath the stairs
and pulls out a ring of keys and starts going
through them and he says, you see, not a lot
of people in my order do have keys to this room,
but Garrus would have. Was he working alone as
he finds a key and puts it into the lock? No,
there's one other crony dude. He's kind of dumb,
kind of bumbly. Ah, Rooney. Yeah, yeah, I probably
could have guessed that in three or four guesses
that his name was Rooney. Why is his name Rooney?
My guess is R -O -O -N -P -Y. I don't care! My
guess is would have gone Larry Curly Moe Rooney.
And he opens the door and when it swings open
you see a room that is dimly lit with candles
and there is a Salt circle splayed on on the
ground with a bunch of lit candles in the center
that are flickering He doesn't seem fazed that
the candles are lit like maybe this room Just
looks like this you see two beds on the far side
both of them have lock boxes it seems like the
secondary use of this room is to sleep and the
primary use is this summoning circle and on the
far side there is a desk with a book open and
that book has Indistinguishable arcane writings
on it that we have any divine casters in the
group Then yeah, that's kind of all you get from
this room. He walks over to the book and Starts
looking at the page that it's on and reading
over it. He nods to himself and he says I I don't
have an answer for you boys. It seems like somebody
did use this room However, if he used this room
he could be anywhere in the world. I'm sorry
to say What page is the book open to? Is that
like a Google Maps thing going on there? What
is that? Look at the search history. He closes
the book and he says, don't worry about all that.
That's Google Maps. Come on, dude. Do you want
to roll a persuasion check? Come on, dude. You
can say something other than come on, dude, and
then it'll make it easier. But if you're just
saying come on, dude, it's not the easiest persuasion
check. You keep a pretty loose grip on your people,
then. I don't control them. I simply create a
space to interact with them. Give them some more
safe. And Aiden to bet them when they steal our
stuff. I'm telling you all the information I
have. I might leave something out about the book,
but it's for the best. Make your persuasion check,
though. I was trying to see if maybe I would
be able to beef it for you. And he wasn't buying
what I was selling. So you berated him a little
bit. Yeah. Did he like it? I would say I would
say something like. Something to the effect of,
I'm starting to think you told us north side
of town, rich folk, and that was a lie. That
must have been what the book said, yeah? North
side of town with the rich folk? You wanna roll
an insight check? Yeah. 16. He shakes his head
and puts his hands up and he says, I assure you
I'm not lying. And he bites his tongue and he
says, tell you what, which one of you here is
trusted most amongst each other? Okay, hold on,
hold on. I don't want this to break up the band.
So we're all gonna face, we're all gonna face
opposite ways and then we're all gonna turn around
on three and point to the person who we trust
the most in the group. Got it. Cause I don't
want anyone to be influenced by anybody. Oh yeah,
this can go wrong and no possible. Move your
mic, move your mic so you don't hit it when you
go to point your hands. Everyone close your eyes.
Alright. Wait, I have to think a little bit.
Yeah, I think it's between like not me and then
when I say go point in the direction It's between
like four of you. Hold on Okay, okay you ready
three two one go Everyone pointing at someone
different got one vote. That's so good Chris
Chris votes for b. Obie and b. Obie votes for
vein vein votes for blink for blink votes for
Chris He looks at all of you and goes Huh? Right.
In our defense, we just met like 48 hours to
go, if that. So can we redo? We should have said
you can't camp over yourself. Well, yeah, but
now we all are just going to. So what we should
do is who do you trust the second most? Okay,
no. Here's the deal. You've broken me. You have
broken your own system, and I won't think that
will come to a clear, concise choice. So here's
what I say. I love that. I think Keela should
be the tiebreaker. Yeah, I think Keela. What
do you mean? No, I'm not voting for a single
one of you. What's he going to say? What does
he say? Come on. Put the coin. Here's the deal.
Since you can't decide, I'll give you the simple
version that you could all understand. Well,
that works. That book, if Garrus went where he
claimed to go, he is in a place you wouldn't
be able to return from. So let's just leave it
at that, shall we, Boyles? Out of the room then,
yeah. That we wouldn't be able to return from
or that nobody has before? Can he get back from
it? He he seems a little upset and he he drums
his hands on the desk and puts the book down
and he says Some things are supposed to be out
of the public mind for a reason I'm gonna tell
you something now and I might hate myself for
it But I'll know if anyone perpetrates this crime
It will be one of you five this book and the
page he was on means that our friend if He used
this circle as we're assuming he did Scamp it
off to the Feywild a lot The Feywild. It's a
land between lands. It's a place where divine,
not even divine, but magical beings live. Truly
magical beings. It's best not worry about it.
Shall we? Guys, I think we should, I think we
should go. I agree. No, no. Can we sign our names?
Yeah, what do we do? We sign in out on the book?
Uh, to go stand in the circle at the book and
see how they did it on the pages. I'm going to
eat some of the salt. You, what is this? It tastes
the salt. You go to read the page and it is,
this is a spell book that you just can't decipher.
Just can't read. Yep. It's not any, if you read
it. It's like reading Latin, you know? It might
mean something, but it will evoke magic. Damn,
I forgot. I actually have Latin as my third language.
Rory, you can read this. Correct. I think if
you use this book to get us there, we're out
of your hair because you said we can't come back.
And if you don't like Garrus having the power,
we're the only ones wanting to stop him right
now. Yeah, yeah. Shit. Look, mate, aren't you
like... Remember when I said if anyone perpetrated
the crime, that crime, my friends, would be going
to the Feywild. Garrus himself wasn't supposed
to go. So I simply cannot let you guys, with
a good intent and knowledge of my heart, go.
Understand. Look, mate, aren't you like the boss
man around this place? You said he was your guy.
Can't you just, I don't know, do a little bit
of that magic shit, say, hey, Come the fuck back.
I've got work for you to do. And since you're
sort of in charge of his whole thing, doesn't
he just have to come back? If he's willing to
go to the Feywild with what he stole from you,
he found it very valuable to leave everything
behind and take it with him. So you don't anticipate
him coming back? I do not. And I'll tell you
what, you will be the first person I contact
if he enters this room. What is your name? Chris.
Chris, last name for the sake of a spell. Tevwixxs?
Very good. T -U -V -W -X -Y -Z? I didn't need
it sprit down, but that's alright. Can I ask
why it's a crime? To go to the Feywild? It's
not where I'm from. He nods, and he goes... It's
um... We had an agreement with some people when
we made this bridge between this space and there.
The doors are closed, so to speak. It's it's
best to leave it alone, but I just kind of just
gesture at me and Chris as Like kind of more
like Feywild type being he nods. He says I see
what you're getting at If that was the case,
then you'd know how to get home if you were meant
to get home. Am I right? There's a lot of politics
on that side of the world or that side of the
veil I guess so to speak that I don't simply
participate in They're trying to make sense of
the fairies. Um, well, it's a cat chasing its
tail. Is that good? I expect I expect we'll find
some way to get to the Feywild regardless of
whether you let us go right now or not. So I
don't know. Perhaps we should just jump right
in. You can roll a persuasion. Twenty one. Oh
my God. Twenty one. Oh, it's open. It's open.
Kyle threw a bag of peanut M &M's that was open
across the room. Why? M &M grenade. He didn't
know it was open. It was pretty cool, actually.
I don't know why he threw it. No, I get to eat
one. You got 21. He listens to what you said
and he nods and he says, and this is, that was
a really hard check. I know 21 feels good and,
but he's still reluctant. He says, uh, here's
the deal. If you said you might as well help
us murder your best friend because we're gonna
murder him anyway, I still wouldn't help you.
Do you understand? I didn't say we were nevermind.
You're right. Yeah. This would be betraying an
oath that I made to a friend a while ago. So
I simply will not be allowing passage to such
a place. Does the name of this guy happen to
be Vance? It does not. Fuck. However, what is
his name? Vance and I are good friends. Oh, well,
then you want to help us. Why? We're trying to
help Vance. We're helping Vance. That thing that
Garrus took, Vance asked us to get. To destroy
it. And you know Vance. Right. I mean, I've known
that guy for years. He'll tell you soon. He squints
his eyes at you. You don't want Mr. Grumpy on
you. You know that's fucking accurate We we only
tell you what you said you've known him for years
He didn't buy it until he said you don't want
mr. Grumpy on you and this guy's like oh shit
They might maybe they do know that let's do that
let's do that and he nods and he says okay And
and I pull out the letter and I show it to him.
Oh He looks at it and he nods He holds it up
and says So whatever you're supposed to destroy
I imagine our friend garris house ding ding ding
ding is he? Just holding the book is the book
in he's holding the book in his hand. Oh, okay
Oh, I thought it was like an altar or something.
It was but he understood why you're gonna try
and screw you over grab Okay, but he's still
holding it so he's not gonna leave like oh, oh,
yeah, I know what I do what I'm be able as he
says Okay, he's you'll be just gonna kind of
walk up a little closer and look up at him and
kind of do grabby hands is Can I ask, is showing
him that note going to convince him? It helps
him. He's reading over it and he shakes his head
and he seems like he's really struggling with
what to do here. He says, Vince is a good friend,
a very good associate. He's helped me out of
many, many tight situations. However, a promise
to a friend doesn't outweigh a promise to a friend
in a way. Who's your friend? I'll tell you what.
My friend that I made a promise to will be coming
by the fight pits tonight to share some information
with me Their name is Audrey L and you will be
able to contact them probably on that South bar
over there Drinking the night away. We'll be
here. I got to try can we buy you like how much?
How much how much to send us to the Feywild we
have? 10 ,000 gold if I wanted what the fight
pits made in the night But I'm a very wealthy
man. All this sort of like dreary business aside.
Sorry. We can get back to like the questy thing.
These fight pits. Tell me a wee bit about them.
I'm intrigued. I have a lot of work to do. But
if you want to stay till tonight, you'll get
plenty of information. Perfect. All right. Continue
with the questy business. Can I see your book?
Only a persuasion check. Yay! He's so beaten
down. Oh, that's actually not bad. You said persuasion?
Yeah. That would be a dirty 21. As opposed to
a natural 21 that you can roll? Sorry, sorry.
I'm a piece of shit. My bad, Avi. My bad, Ovi.
You say that! And on your 21... It's when it
lands on the vertice. Between 20 and 2? Yeah.
That makes sense. It's when it lands like that.
Oh, just like that. Like completely up and down.
Like I said, the vertice. What now the vertices
I don't do that anymore I Don't even get that
joke that wasn't any good good. We're just saying
things anyways. I don't see a bird The only bird
I see Anyway, we're spiraling. Yeah. Yeah a little
stop us stop us. Where were we 21 on Can I see
your can I see your book? But he knows and he
says any games on there. Don't hurt it and he
hands it down to you and he looks at the rest
of you and he says I've done what I can and maybe
you can get more answers and permission from
my friend but as for right now my hands are pretty
tied my friends what do you guys you guys do
like solos duos kind of thing absolutely all
kinds are you looking to participate I certainly
am kind of fun yeah I'm looking to test out a
weapon I don't I don't want to fight anyone You
don't have to fight anyone. You said something
about betting, right? Correct. Yeah, here's what
you do, B .O .B. Okay. You do like a sponsorship
type of situation. Okay. You bet lots of money
on me to win. Okay. And then when I win, we get
lots of money on top of that. Oh. And that would
really be helping the crew out here, I think.
Okay. Is bringing in extra money. And you know
what would make it really fun? What? You can
beat Jon Hamm again. Oh, that sounds fun. Yeah.
I have an idea. We'll talk about it once, you
know. this guy's not here anymore. He goes, okay,
can I have the book back? Oh yeah, definitely.
Did you look at it at all? Did you look at it
at all? No, no, not the chair, not the chair
in a chair, crashing side. No, I did look at
the chair. I mean, You know we took the book
stood on it and looked at the chair I need this
book to look at this yeah get higher He takes
it back and puts it on the altar and gestures
that it's time to alright gang I have some very
serious work to do one one more thing sure we
might not be your people yet, but Seems like
we have a common interest so no one really needs
to know we're looking for garris right ah Fair
enough you have my silence Thanks. Friend of
Vance is a friend of mine. And if I see you tonight
and you want to participate, normally they'll
put you in a line. People are signing up for
fights, stays, and events. But come to me and
I'll put in the name for you. Get you fighting
tonight. Great. You can go ahead. Put my name
down now. We'll just... And that name is? ...skip
all that back. Captain Keele, if you don't mind.
Okay. Captain Keele. And what kind of fight will
you be doing? That's not your name. I thought
there was another letter at the end. Like an
A. No, I think you're mistaken. You can give
me whatever name you like. I'm a busy man though.
So, Captain Keel. Any rules to your fight or
is it anything goes? I'm not into the magic business.
No magic, okay. I'll go sword, I'll go pistol,
I'll even go fist to fist. Fair fight or anything
goes? Anything goes. Okay, last question. Are
you fighting to the death? You don't have to
be. We'll see how the night goes. Don't do it.
It's a trap. Don't do it. Is this like a multiple
entry situation thing that I could do? Can I
wrap up with one and hop into another? No. You
can get on the list tonight, but you only get
one ahead of the line because it's a new night.
Yeah, take it all the way. What the hell? I'm
not a coward. Fine. And he notes... It doesn't
necessarily look like he's super jazzed that
it's to the death, but some people do want to
fight to the death. Like there's a pit for it.
If if you had to gamble on Kela winning her fight
or the average person that wants to fight to
the death, who would you gamble on that you've
seen come through? Trying to get some insider
notes. He looks at Kela for a short second and
then he looks back and he says anyone who can
turn that many men into Puddles, has my respect.
I'd put my money on her. This guy knows what
he's fucking talking about. Hey, whoever your
sources are, they're giving you good info. I
think I actually have a friend that wanted to
sign up for this fighty thing. Yeah, what's his
name? Oh, I think they just call him the... um...
Masher. Oh boy. Yeah! Right. Put your friend's
name in yeah, he's not related to us though.
I gotta see him to get him a weight class Oh
an even match. Oh Okay, yeah Okay, okay Yeah,
easy he's a really big guy how big Like a ton
He weighs a ton. Yeah, I think he's I think he's
like a ton. Okay So about four feet, five inches
Scottish. Oh, the door. That's a that's a that's
a that's a prequel. I hate you. I just kept looking
at where I still on a new hope. Come on. Sorry,
dude. You can't be dropping. Hello there. And
then new home. I'm sorry. I couldn't resist.
He's really tall, though, and he weighs he weighs
he weighs a lot. Here's the deal. Yeah. Pats
you on the head, he says, I need to see your
friend to give him a weight class. Okay, I'll,
um, should I bring him tonight and then you can
figure that out or do you want me to go get him
now? Whenever you feel comfortable. I'll put
his name in. What's his name? His name is The
Masher. The Masher. The Masher. The Monster Masher.
What? Should I add monster between? Yeah, that's
actually really cool. Monster Masher. He does
the, he does the mash and he is the Monster Masher.
Are you fighting to the death? Anything goes?
I think. Anything. I think he likes to fight
to the death. Yeah, because everyone else is
fighting to death, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. The best star. And he's the best. Yes.
He's the best. Well, I don't know about the best.
I guess that's going to be a good fight when
you two fight, I suppose. Oh, and I look at Rory.
Yeah. And I say, you want to watch that one?
I mean, if you big fun versus her. I don't know.
I wait classes don't seem the same. She's denser
than she looks That's fucking good, dude Even
know how hard he just fucking shredded you looking
around the room for okay, which swords are on
the wall next to her Hang on She's gonna head
I'm sure he can drop weight Pretty quick if he
needs to. I'm gonna, I'm gonna pick B .O .B.
up by the collar of his shirt. Listen here, you
slimy little freak. Say that about me again and
I'm gonna punt you off this balcony, do you understand?
Say what again? I don't know what I'm saying.
Put him down. Was it the thing about the... I
have to highlight once again that I'm a very
busy... So any last names before he picks up
the book like maybe I'll just go to the fucking
A wild yeah, I'm coming get me out of here. Oh,
we're I think we're done. Yeah, I think so vein
He wants to fight to to the death anything goes
yes magic. Yes Okay, yes, how about for you friend
man? Oh? I think the masher doesn't care he he's
uh he's pretty tough the monster measured stuff
Okay, do you want to do it you want to watch
come on? I know I'll be watching. How's the popcorn?
We got business to take care of Chris What do
you stand to win if you win your fight? I imagine
you'll bet on yourself Make some money if you
don't bet on yourself. You're just doing it for
the sport. Okay the reputation Absolutely. And
other people can bet on us too, right? Winners
also don't have to pay for drinks for the night.
Oh. Oh, now we're talking. And others can bet
on you. That's absolutely right. Wow. I'm sure
everyone's going to want to bet for the Monster
Match. I'll bet on the Monster Match. I will
also. Anyway, serious business I'm off to. Farewell.
You can find me in my office if you need me.
OK. As for the rest of you, good luck and enjoy
your time in the pits. I give him a fist bump
and I say thanks, Miami. Hey awkwardly fist bumps
you as he's probably not done this before and
Walks past you and heads upstairs The guy with
the broom is now on the other side of the room
sweeping It's he's near the entrance that the
two of you came in from did he take the book
with him? He locked the door to that room with
the book in it leaving the book on the altar
And he goes to his own way and you guys are down
in the fight pits by yourself I lean over tequila
I was trying to set it up so you would fight
Doug Look mate, I don't want to fight your fucking
robots. No, I'm not. You're not getting what
I'm saying. All right. Look, I'm not in this
to throw a fight. I'm also not in this to rig
a fight. All right. I'm going to get down in
that pit and I'm going to play dirty, but I'm
going to play clean. Do you understand? To do
anything else is sort of an insult. It wasn't
supposed to be an insult. It's just, you kept
talking about your things and then that's a good
way to make just gold. Yeah, I can make just
gold just fine with a set of fists. I see what
you're trying to do, but understand that like
in the grand scheme of things to set things up
and be like, hey, you can throw this or like,
hey, I'll throw it for you. Like that takes all
the sports out of it. This is going to be fun
as fuck. Blink is gonna walk towards like the
the entrance he went in like the one behind the
bar and without looking back He's gonna just
call out. He love Doug kills his opponent faster
than you you have to admit Bo be stronger than
you Doesn't even like make sense So this is fun,
this is just for fun I this is just for fun.
Oh, I'll tell Doug then. Okay, no betting no
betting then no Just for fun. It is just for
fun. There is fun and passion. And I know that
you know that. That's true. We have an hour left.
I, Sean, am out of things I wrote. I'm happy
to make stuff up as we go. If you have angles
you want to pursue right now. But officially,
I am at the point where if you are looking for
Sean to say, here's some story, it's not going
to happen. So feel free to chat. I'll keep recording.
That's fucking fine with me. Just be aware that
as that chat's going on, I'm just here to see
what you guys do. And if you at any point want
to time skip anywhere, let me know. But the next
session starts with the fight starting getting.
Oh, yeah. So we're getting here for the fights
to start. Yeah. OK. Arriving at the fight pits
in the year. Yeah. Does anyone want to do anything
with the day today? Uh, I know there's a question
I was going to ask chris that would lead to me
deciding how I wanted to spend the day Okay,
right now like in the timeline. Yeah, like as
we were like leaving out of cool. Absolutely
So so me and him are going out the door right
now behind the bar behind the bar. Yeah, gotcha.
Gotcha. Okay. Okay, uh chris What's up, buddy?
Do you? You know the magic carpet from the auction
I do I wanted that thing it was cool do you think
we could get it back oh oh shit we never went
to go get our stuff yeah I think we could he
kind of like smiles a little bit and he's like
oh yeah okay I think we do that pretty easy going
to the Feywild changes things like it would change
the carpet if we brought it No, no, no, no, no.
Insane that you thought it meant good for the
carpet. That was a little bit of a of a character
choice. Yeah, I know. I understand. He's meaning
like, no, the grand scheme of things. Yeah, I
know. I'd probably say like what changes? What
do you mean? I've I've been meaning to go there
for a long time. And you ever just get a feeling
that having something with you can help you?
Have good luck or find something or I'm a rabbit
dude. Yeah Yeah, yeah, totally yeah, maybe we
don't need it with you around but as you do that
bit a big burly guy with a big old meat cleaver
is walking to the back and he stops and he looks
at your feet and he goes and I put them down
and it continues past you to the back of the
kitchen. I'm a little intimidated. The luckiest
rabbit foot is like three feet long. Two feet
long. My magic stored in my feet. Magic in my
toes. I promise. You'll get magic. You get spell
slots back. I promise. Jim Germany. I don't know.
I was thinking if we couldn't get it back. Van
said that We could buy anything in this town
and you you have all the money So I figured I'm
pretty sure Bo because I guess in the briefcase,
but yeah, I mean Pretty easy. We just pop on
over there and buy it. We bought it for square.
We use that money and We buy the we buy the magic
carpet That what you want to do? Yeah. Yeah if
we can I mean I was there we don't really need
John We don't need mr. Ham. I just say I'm here
picking up for mr. Ham and even though We do
need the money. We do need the money. But we
don't need the circuit, which Keela has for some
reason. God, I'm... I don't like to say mean
things about people. You're a better person than
me, Blink. No, no. Go on. Unless you want to
discuss anything else, I'm down to just go get
it. Like just us yeah, I don't know if I should
show my face I was oh That's right You did you
did burn all that guy's skin off? They they did
that I just suggested they now I didn't shoot
him. I just told him to guns kill people Oh,
crazy. What do you mean? I killed everyone. I
killed fair and square. What's stopping us from
going now? What do you want to do? What do you
think? No, let's go. What's the plan? Who else
do we need to come with us? Does anyone want
to come with us? Yeah, we could tell them. We
can say that they're coming up right as you guys
are finishing this conversation. Cool. We're
going to go get the carpet. Magic carpet. I want
a magic carpet. Don't we all? You wanna come
with? I don't have a circulate. You don't have
a circulate? Where's the circulate? Someone stole
it from me. Someone stole it? Yeah. No one stole
it from you. Someone took it from me. Yeah, I
took it. And it's - You took it? Yeah, I took
it from him in the car when he was like we have
to pull over in this Getaway chase that we're
in we have to pull over because my car doesn't
feel too good He can drive just fine, but he
doesn't feel too good So we should pull over
and stop while we're trying to escape the giant
fucking hole that we just blew in the side of
the building Yeah, I took it from him Anyway,
well back What's it to you not yours? Plenty
of things aren't mine, mate. That lens we took
wasn't ours. All right, Keila, we're going to
talk about empathy, OK? How would you feel if
someone took one of your guns? One of my guns?
I don't know. I'd be a wee bit impressed he'd
be able to get it off of me for starters. The
thing is, we want the magic carpet. You want
the magic carpet? I don't really care about the
magic carpet. Here's the thing. Vane raises his
hand. Yes, raffles. Thank you for being so polite
and not trying to just grab shit off of me. I
think the item matters most in the hand of the
wielder. If you can play the role of John Hamm...
Alright. Blake nods. Seems like everyone agrees.
That'll work. Or he can just give it to me. What's
it gonna be? I just asked you what it was to
you mate. It's Mine That's what it is to me.
We're gonna have a little bit of a learning moment
right here All right, and I mean this with kindness
I really do because I don't want you to get caught
up somewhere where this you know could be Against
somebody that doesn't have your best interests
in mind like I do. So we're gonna learn a wee
bit here All right. Okay. Somebody asks what's
it to you? Oh, okay typically There is a monetary
amount associated with the exchange of items.
There ain't no way, Darren. Okay. Information.
And Chris is like laughing, like I can't believe
this is happening. Yeah, Blink is curling his
hands into balls and like shaking. I'm like holding
Blink back, but like my nose comes up to his
belly button, so I'm like... Here's the thing,
me darling. No, I think I understand. You've
got the briefcase with all of our money in it.
You're right. Let me get my briefcase. And I
just don't think it's fair that you've got all
the money. I'm going to latch the briefcase and
I'm going to watch as Doug grows. And then I'm
going to climb into Doug. So what I've learned
in this is if you are bigger than the person
that you are taking from, that you can extort
them for things, right? You people suck. So he
pulls the circlet out of her bag and hucks it
on the ground. He's just going to with his two
fingers, pick up a tiny little circle. Well,
that was easy. That makes perfect sense. I'm
so glad you're happy, B .O .B. Keep that in your
back pocket, B .O .B. You're going to need that
again. This is a really good lesson. Thank you,
Keyla. Maybe not to Keyla, but you're going to
need that. You know, on that note. Keela, why
are you with us? Whoa! Well, that's me. You don't
trust any of us, and we don't trust you. And
obviously you're gonna keep preventing us from
trying to just do anything. Here's the thing,
mate. I didn't ask you to trust me. Nothing I
have done has been in the pursuit or the interest
of getting you to trust me I don't really care
if you trust me and frankly I don't really trust
any of you the rabbit can maybe hang around but
that's because he just sort of says shit and
he's not Playing with all of this. I'm the hero.
I'm the hero shit. I'd never once claimed to
be a hero For starters, I never once claimed
to be honest. I never once claimed to be a good
person, actually. That's just sort of a label
that you've just decided to place on me and an
expectation that you've sort of decided to hold
me to. But then actually having a conversation
with me on whether or not I give a shit. Then
leave. I trust you. That's crazy. Well, I know
what you're going to do. I've seen what you do
and I can trust. you to do those things. It's
patterns. Predictable. Yeah. So in a way, I trust
you. The bartender, like I meant to say pattern.
The bartender, like, gives a Bill Wilder look
at B .O .B. for a second and then also goes back
to what he's doing. He's just really good at
pattern recognition. I know you you're not going
to leave, but you also don't want to stay. You're
lost at sea, sort of speak. That's crazy, but
I'm gonna need you to just not do any of that
shit. Why it's just what you're doing. That's
not what I'm doing Well, for starters, I'm dicking
around in the city so I can make enough money
so that I can get a new crew that just has no
intentions of muting, because fuck that. And
a ship, a ship would be nice. I'd like a new
one of those. Brand spanking new ones. The one
I was sailing was piece of shit. So I'm in the
market, as it were, and I'm really just here
to make money. I'm tagging along here because
Vance's money was sort of in the mix. But y 'all
are going to go spend it on a magic carpet you
don't need. So. I'm a fight in the fight pit
and I'm gonna make a wee bit of money and I'm
gonna talk with some people And then I'm gonna
get going don't worry blink be out of your wispy
little hair shortly What does our ultimate goal
and all this? I mean I trust blink because You
seem to be in favor of good things to be a hero
so to speak to me That is trustworthy But Biyobi,
I also trust you because, same as you said with
Keela, you are a creature of pure pattern. And
you can be trusted to be somewhat oblivious,
but it's okay. That is your beautiful nature.
So, though I trust Chris and Keela less than
the rest of you, I trust all of you enough to
continue. moving forward together. I don't think
we need to be so... divided. Divided. I thought
it was good. Chris? Magic carpet? Yeah. Yeah,
magic carpet. All in favor? Magic carpet! Hey
friends, thank you for listening to yet another
episode of Turntails. As always, we appreciate
you sharing your time with us and following along
with our story. Did you know that horseshoe crab
has blue blood? It contains a copper -based protein
called hemocyanin that looks blue or blue -green
when exposed to the air. A gallon of it costs
about $60 ,000 and is vital to the medical field
for testing vaccines, drugs, and medical devices
since it clots quickly in the presence of bacterial
endotoxins. Thanks to Chandler for our theme
and Chris for our art. We'll catch you on the
flip for episode 7. See ya! Thank you.