WEBVTT 00:00:00.620 --> 00:00:05.940 Hey guys and welcome back to the salt not sweetener 00:00:05.940 --> 00:00:10.160 Podcast I am your host Danielle Townsend and 00:00:10.160 --> 00:00:14.240 I hope y 'all are having a wonderful Week and 00:00:14.240 --> 00:00:16.219 I just want to start this episode with praying 00:00:16.219 --> 00:00:19.359 that the Holy Spirit guides me today Holy Spirit 00:00:19.359 --> 00:00:26.329 guide me Lord speak through me and pour out Fresh 00:00:26.329 --> 00:00:28.829 revelation on those who are listening to this 00:00:28.829 --> 00:00:32.530 episode I pray that there is a renewal in people's 00:00:32.530 --> 00:00:34.869 spirits and that there are people who are freed 00:00:34.869 --> 00:00:42.450 today in Jesus name y 'all this topic Isn't like 00:00:42.450 --> 00:00:45.829 the easiest topic for me and the topic we're 00:00:45.829 --> 00:00:51.090 going in on today is shame and How we can like 00:00:51.090 --> 00:00:54.369 break free of that shame and keeping things in 00:00:54.369 --> 00:00:59.340 the dark and keeping things hidden. I know that 00:00:59.340 --> 00:01:03.840 I am not alone in this. That's one of the enemy's 00:01:03.840 --> 00:01:11.000 best tools is shame, right? That's the way that 00:01:11.000 --> 00:01:13.700 the enemy keeps us bound. That's the way that 00:01:13.700 --> 00:01:17.900 he prevents us from turning pain into testimony. 00:01:19.120 --> 00:01:22.310 I share testimony with y 'all a lot. on here. 00:01:22.689 --> 00:01:24.590 I share testimony with y 'all about when I was 00:01:24.590 --> 00:01:27.170 in new age. I share testimony with y 'all about 00:01:27.170 --> 00:01:29.469 like some of the lowest places in my life. I 00:01:29.469 --> 00:01:31.530 share testimony with y 'all about like times 00:01:31.530 --> 00:01:34.109 where my mental health was in the toilet. I share 00:01:34.109 --> 00:01:36.909 testimonies about just like when I was not a 00:01:36.909 --> 00:01:40.450 good person. And a lot of these things I share 00:01:40.450 --> 00:01:42.609 with y 'all are things that other people would 00:01:42.609 --> 00:01:46.590 keep buried. Like they would never ever ever 00:01:46.590 --> 00:01:49.750 want to share publicly. And there was a time 00:01:49.750 --> 00:01:53.150 in my life when I never, ever, ever wanted to 00:01:53.150 --> 00:01:55.209 share these things publicly. There was a shame 00:01:55.209 --> 00:01:57.150 with it. There was an embarrassment with it. 00:01:57.530 --> 00:02:00.390 I remember when I started talking about my sobriety 00:02:00.390 --> 00:02:03.549 convictions. It was a long time coming for me 00:02:03.549 --> 00:02:05.370 to talk about that. That's something I kept hidden 00:02:05.370 --> 00:02:07.170 and kept to myself. I didn't want people to know 00:02:07.170 --> 00:02:14.370 I struggled with that. I didn't want people to 00:02:14.370 --> 00:02:16.210 know these things because I wanted people to 00:02:16.210 --> 00:02:18.580 look at me in a certain light and I knew that 00:02:18.580 --> 00:02:20.419 when I opened the door and shared those things, 00:02:20.599 --> 00:02:23.159 that could shift the way people view me. That 00:02:23.159 --> 00:02:25.740 could open up the door for people to twist the 00:02:25.740 --> 00:02:30.159 narrative. I felt like it was protecting myself 00:02:30.159 --> 00:02:32.919 and keeping all of these things buried and hidden. 00:02:33.699 --> 00:02:36.439 But what the Lord really revealed to me is in 00:02:36.439 --> 00:02:38.979 keeping these things buried and hidden, He can't 00:02:38.979 --> 00:02:42.340 use them to help other people. They're not a 00:02:42.340 --> 00:02:45.379 testimony if you refuse to share them. I feel 00:02:45.379 --> 00:02:49.409 like a lot of people use the word testimony Kind 00:02:49.409 --> 00:02:51.430 of like in the wrong context, right? I've heard 00:02:51.430 --> 00:02:53.430 a lot of people say well, this is testimony for 00:02:53.430 --> 00:02:57.949 me or this is testimony or this is but Testimony 00:02:57.949 --> 00:03:00.030 is something that glorifies God. I want to start 00:03:00.030 --> 00:03:02.449 off with that testimony doesn't glorify yourself 00:03:02.449 --> 00:03:06.550 Your strength your ability to get through testimony 00:03:06.550 --> 00:03:09.870 from God glorifies God. It's not your hand that 00:03:09.870 --> 00:03:16.419 did it. It's God But a testimony is often pulled 00:03:16.419 --> 00:03:20.180 from something that was like shameful, embarrassing, 00:03:20.400 --> 00:03:26.219 or something that looked unwinnable. Testimony 00:03:26.219 --> 00:03:29.199 is something where it's like no one but God, 00:03:29.680 --> 00:03:34.219 right? God redeemed it. God delivered victory. 00:03:34.340 --> 00:03:37.919 God turned it around. There are all different 00:03:37.919 --> 00:03:40.240 kinds of testimonies. I want to be so clear testimony 00:03:40.240 --> 00:03:43.909 doesn't glorify yourself. or your own strength. 00:03:44.550 --> 00:03:47.469 Testimony glorifies God. And testimony isn't 00:03:47.469 --> 00:03:49.370 hidden. There are some people who call it a testimony, 00:03:49.409 --> 00:03:51.250 but then they keep it hidden. They don't want 00:03:51.250 --> 00:03:54.729 to share it with anyone else. And who's that 00:03:54.729 --> 00:04:00.270 helping? Who is that helping? I remember when 00:04:00.270 --> 00:04:04.129 I gave my life to Jesus, He made me a big promise 00:04:04.129 --> 00:04:06.530 where He said, all this pain that you're facing 00:04:06.530 --> 00:04:09.819 right now, all of these missteps all of these 00:04:09.819 --> 00:04:13.159 mistakes I am going to turn this into testimony 00:04:13.159 --> 00:04:15.340 and you're going to use it to glorify me one 00:04:15.340 --> 00:04:17.699 day and I'm going to open up doors that you could 00:04:17.699 --> 00:04:20.480 never open up for yourself through you sharing 00:04:20.480 --> 00:04:24.939 this testimony but that required me to put shame 00:04:24.939 --> 00:04:28.139 aside that required me to put embarrassment aside 00:04:28.139 --> 00:04:30.259 and let me tell y 'all it was a process it wasn't 00:04:30.259 --> 00:04:32.360 night and day it wasn't like the next day I was 00:04:32.360 --> 00:04:36.060 ready to go and share everything the Lord took 00:04:36.060 --> 00:04:39.079 me through it little by little cracking my shell 00:04:39.079 --> 00:04:42.339 because I had a long history and it was really 00:04:42.339 --> 00:04:46.220 ingrained in me from a child not to share things 00:04:46.220 --> 00:04:50.860 and I know that there are other people who relate 00:04:50.860 --> 00:04:55.779 to this there were some very strong I don't even 00:04:55.779 --> 00:04:57.959 know if I want to call them values instilled 00:04:57.959 --> 00:05:01.339 in me as a child you know one of them was you 00:05:01.339 --> 00:05:03.240 got yourself into it you get yourself out of 00:05:03.240 --> 00:05:06.540 it You know, I had some figures in my life that 00:05:06.540 --> 00:05:08.279 were supposed to be the ones that, you know, 00:05:08.300 --> 00:05:11.620 you could go to when you mess up and they help 00:05:11.620 --> 00:05:14.519 you figure it out. But the reaction I often got 00:05:14.519 --> 00:05:16.620 out of them was you got yourself into it, you 00:05:16.620 --> 00:05:22.540 get yourself out. And kind of left me to my own 00:05:22.540 --> 00:05:25.360 devices. Like from a young age, I kind of learned, 00:05:25.360 --> 00:05:31.360 okay, I have to figure it out myself. Or on the 00:05:31.360 --> 00:05:34.160 opposite side of that, if they did help me. They 00:05:34.160 --> 00:05:36.839 would shame me and guilt me the entire time, 00:05:37.000 --> 00:05:39.819 like, I shouldn't have to help you. Well, you 00:05:39.819 --> 00:05:41.379 know, you should have done this, you should have 00:05:41.379 --> 00:05:44.720 done that. I was definitely like the worst critic 00:05:44.720 --> 00:05:47.079 for myself growing up. And I'm sure a lot of 00:05:47.079 --> 00:05:49.379 y 'all can relate to that, right? Where anything 00:05:49.379 --> 00:05:51.079 anyone is beating you up with, you've already 00:05:51.079 --> 00:05:54.360 beat yourself up like 10 times more. I already 00:05:54.360 --> 00:05:56.379 beat myself up like a million times over before 00:05:56.379 --> 00:05:59.259 I would go to those figures in my life. But I 00:05:59.259 --> 00:06:02.019 had learned from a young age that if I take these 00:06:02.019 --> 00:06:04.220 problems to them I'm either going to get told 00:06:04.220 --> 00:06:07.259 to deal with it myself or I'm going to get criticized 00:06:07.259 --> 00:06:09.079 and ridiculed the entire time they're helping 00:06:09.079 --> 00:06:11.600 me fix it and then for months and years after 00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:13.240 they're going to continue to bring it up and 00:06:13.240 --> 00:06:16.339 remind me of it. So I learned from a very young 00:06:16.339 --> 00:06:20.360 age like unless it's absolutely dire figure it 00:06:20.360 --> 00:06:22.680 out myself because I don't want to deal with 00:06:22.680 --> 00:06:26.839 that and that that was one one way that shame 00:06:26.839 --> 00:06:28.639 played a role in my life and I pray that as I'm 00:06:28.639 --> 00:06:31.300 sharing this testimony with you all today that 00:06:31.300 --> 00:06:33.540 you're able to identify it in your life. I really 00:06:33.540 --> 00:06:35.980 do pray that this is going to be a healing episode 00:06:35.980 --> 00:06:38.959 for many of you who are listening to this who 00:06:38.959 --> 00:06:42.839 might not even realize how deep the shame goes 00:06:42.839 --> 00:06:45.959 or the people -pleasing tendencies go because 00:06:45.959 --> 00:06:49.120 I feel like we're going to touch on a lot. Alright, 00:06:49.480 --> 00:06:52.980 but when I look back I notice that is one of 00:06:52.980 --> 00:06:56.120 the big ones and What happened from that is it 00:06:56.120 --> 00:06:59.160 instilled a hyper independence in me and instilled 00:06:59.160 --> 00:07:02.019 a survival mode in me That was really hard for 00:07:02.019 --> 00:07:05.740 God to break off of me years later a lot of my 00:07:05.740 --> 00:07:07.519 testimony when I first gave my life to Christ 00:07:07.519 --> 00:07:10.660 was me just surrendering my plans to God and 00:07:10.660 --> 00:07:12.660 There were some things I had to wait on God to 00:07:12.660 --> 00:07:14.379 provide me for that I didn't think I was ever 00:07:14.379 --> 00:07:17.829 going to be able to surrender to it And that, 00:07:17.990 --> 00:07:20.810 everyone's testimony is different. Like everyone, 00:07:21.370 --> 00:07:23.449 when they come to Christ, the things that they're 00:07:23.449 --> 00:07:26.170 laying down, the things that they need to surrender, 00:07:26.449 --> 00:07:28.410 everyone's looks a bit different. And for me, 00:07:28.470 --> 00:07:32.769 a big thing was my hyper -independence and my 00:07:32.769 --> 00:07:36.550 need to control. But that was something I had 00:07:36.550 --> 00:07:39.329 been doing from a young age. And I see how that 00:07:39.329 --> 00:07:42.029 was instilled in me from shame. I was shamed 00:07:42.029 --> 00:07:44.870 into recognizing, and shame comes from the enemy, 00:07:44.990 --> 00:07:48.860 shame comes from the devil. Right? And he unfortunately 00:07:48.860 --> 00:07:50.620 shamed me through people who were supposed to 00:07:50.620 --> 00:07:53.620 be comforting people in my life. And two, you 00:07:53.620 --> 00:07:55.399 have to figure it out by yourself and do it by 00:07:55.399 --> 00:07:58.939 yourself. And honestly, when I was 13, 14 years 00:07:58.939 --> 00:08:01.180 old, I've shared this with you all in past testimonies, 00:08:01.420 --> 00:08:03.240 I learned how to deal with my emotional problems 00:08:03.240 --> 00:08:05.959 through drinking and smoking. I learned how to 00:08:05.959 --> 00:08:08.879 deal with my, like I felt like I wasn't getting 00:08:08.879 --> 00:08:11.879 the love, the unconditional love and everything 00:08:11.879 --> 00:08:14.290 from... the figures in my life I felt like I 00:08:14.290 --> 00:08:16.470 was supposed to, so I was looking for it in relationships. 00:08:17.550 --> 00:08:21.129 I was looking for it in online attention. The 00:08:21.129 --> 00:08:23.790 things I did later on in life that I was also 00:08:23.790 --> 00:08:26.949 shamed for, you know, I was shamed for... I was 00:08:26.949 --> 00:08:29.189 called many names. I was called a lot of different 00:08:29.189 --> 00:08:32.470 things for the way I presented myself and the 00:08:32.470 --> 00:08:34.929 way I moved through life in trying to get attention 00:08:34.929 --> 00:08:37.269 and trying to get love. But when I root it back, 00:08:37.590 --> 00:08:40.289 all of these things came from a place of shame, 00:08:40.870 --> 00:08:43.980 right? And then all they do is create more shame. 00:08:44.120 --> 00:08:45.799 That's the interesting thing, is the enemy will 00:08:45.799 --> 00:08:48.120 present you with something that looks like a 00:08:48.120 --> 00:08:50.659 solution to your problem or a way out, and it 00:08:50.659 --> 00:08:53.960 just keeps you stuck more in the cycle. You know? 00:08:54.639 --> 00:08:57.480 The enemy created kind of that space for me to 00:08:57.480 --> 00:09:00.059 feel ashamed and seeking validation from other 00:09:00.059 --> 00:09:02.320 places. And then when I go and seek validation 00:09:02.320 --> 00:09:04.200 from those other places, the enemy doubles me 00:09:04.200 --> 00:09:07.679 down in more shame. And it's like a continuous 00:09:07.679 --> 00:09:12.019 cycle. Right? And it's like he helps you to dig 00:09:12.019 --> 00:09:14.200 yourself deeper. And that's why I've said in 00:09:14.200 --> 00:09:16.139 the past, y 'all, that sin looks like freedom 00:09:16.139 --> 00:09:19.200 until you try to leave. Once you try to leave, 00:09:19.200 --> 00:09:23.200 you see just how much it has you bound and shackled. 00:09:24.139 --> 00:09:28.120 And another thing that was very shameful for 00:09:28.120 --> 00:09:31.000 me, I didn't realize until I was much older, 00:09:32.019 --> 00:09:35.259 is there is a part of me that cares, and I know 00:09:35.259 --> 00:09:38.299 there are other people who dealing with this 00:09:38.299 --> 00:09:41.620 too, where you care about other people so much. 00:09:42.700 --> 00:09:45.019 You care about like limiting the drama, limiting 00:09:45.019 --> 00:09:47.860 the conflict, that like you protect people that 00:09:47.860 --> 00:09:52.779 shouldn't be protected. I'm someone who ended 00:09:52.779 --> 00:09:56.840 up doing that like my whole life, especially 00:09:56.840 --> 00:09:59.460 in my childhood and my preteen and my teenage 00:09:59.460 --> 00:10:04.360 years. I protected people. That shouldn't have 00:10:04.360 --> 00:10:06.419 been protected why mean by that were there were 00:10:06.419 --> 00:10:09.820 things I should have spoke up about There were 00:10:09.820 --> 00:10:14.779 things I should have been more vocal on But I 00:10:14.779 --> 00:10:17.980 wasn't There were things that I witnessed people 00:10:17.980 --> 00:10:20.299 doing there were things that people would say 00:10:20.299 --> 00:10:24.759 to me there are ways that people treated me I 00:10:24.759 --> 00:10:28.259 Didn't say anything because I didn't want their 00:10:28.259 --> 00:10:31.379 lives to be affected There are people close to 00:10:31.379 --> 00:10:33.539 me that the way that they spoke to me and the 00:10:33.539 --> 00:10:35.340 way that they treated me I'm like dang if other 00:10:35.340 --> 00:10:37.059 people know you spoke to me and treated me this 00:10:37.059 --> 00:10:38.299 way. They probably wouldn't want to be friends 00:10:38.299 --> 00:10:40.600 with you They probably wouldn't say you're the 00:10:40.600 --> 00:10:44.700 best They would probably start recognizing why 00:10:44.700 --> 00:10:49.990 I act the way I act You know what when I stayed 00:10:49.990 --> 00:10:53.649 silent it kind of allowed people to form whatever 00:10:53.649 --> 00:10:56.210 views about me and from the outside Looking in 00:10:56.210 --> 00:10:58.269 I was a troubled kid that just wanted to go out 00:10:58.269 --> 00:11:00.509 and party and smoke and drink and do all these 00:11:00.509 --> 00:11:06.950 things and uncontrollable wild child but if I 00:11:06.950 --> 00:11:09.450 had been really vocal about what I wasn't receiving 00:11:09.450 --> 00:11:15.830 and What I was witnessing and what I was receiving 00:11:18.269 --> 00:11:20.929 Some people might have actually started to understand 00:11:20.929 --> 00:11:23.950 the situation differently and they would have 00:11:23.950 --> 00:11:27.970 looked at the people in my life differently and 00:11:27.970 --> 00:11:31.549 A part of me knew that And I want to be very 00:11:31.549 --> 00:11:33.730 clear that was told to me from a young age. Hey, 00:11:33.809 --> 00:11:36.210 don't tell anyone about this Don't say I said 00:11:36.210 --> 00:11:44.740 this don't say I did this I was kind of made 00:11:44.740 --> 00:11:46.779 clear to me that the way other people perceived 00:11:46.779 --> 00:11:49.539 us was important. And if I said these things 00:11:49.539 --> 00:11:54.139 out loud, if I told other people, they would 00:11:54.139 --> 00:11:57.080 be perceived differently. But then a part of 00:11:57.080 --> 00:11:59.460 me was also made to feel like the things I was 00:11:59.460 --> 00:12:02.620 seeing and the treatment I was receiving, I was 00:12:02.620 --> 00:12:07.879 deserving of and it was normalized. To me, it 00:12:07.879 --> 00:12:11.340 was normal. So there was a big part of me that 00:12:11.340 --> 00:12:13.720 didn't think there was any point in saying anything 00:12:13.720 --> 00:12:15.419 because I felt like I deserved it and I felt 00:12:15.419 --> 00:12:18.600 like it was normal. A lot of these things were 00:12:18.600 --> 00:12:22.519 emotional and mental and it's really hard to 00:12:22.519 --> 00:12:26.500 y 'all identify things that are emotional and 00:12:26.500 --> 00:12:29.460 mental. Like it's really hard for you, especially 00:12:29.460 --> 00:12:33.740 people who don't recognize patterns. There were 00:12:33.740 --> 00:12:36.139 times when I would try to bring it up and people 00:12:36.139 --> 00:12:39.090 would look at me like I was being dramatic. or 00:12:39.090 --> 00:12:41.409 like I was being a little crazy or to give other 00:12:41.409 --> 00:12:44.210 people grace and these were often people who 00:12:44.210 --> 00:12:46.970 didn't recognize patterns who didn't recognize 00:12:46.970 --> 00:12:51.629 mental emotional I It's hard for me to call it 00:12:51.629 --> 00:12:53.610 mental emotional abuse, but like that's what 00:12:53.610 --> 00:13:00.429 it is, right? It's hard so there was also a rejection 00:13:00.429 --> 00:13:02.110 right of when I would bring that up It would 00:13:02.110 --> 00:13:03.889 get rejected and I would learn not to bring it 00:13:03.889 --> 00:13:10.200 up again. I say this all of these things The 00:13:10.200 --> 00:13:12.299 common denominator here the common factor is 00:13:12.299 --> 00:13:19.779 shame, right? And For so long I didn't see that 00:13:19.779 --> 00:13:24.299 these things were keeping me bound My refusal 00:13:24.299 --> 00:13:28.940 to bring things into the light Was keeping me 00:13:28.940 --> 00:13:31.379 bound and there's someone who needs to hear this 00:13:31.379 --> 00:13:34.960 today that your refusal to bring things to light 00:13:34.960 --> 00:13:39.159 is going to keep you bound? How can God use it 00:13:39.159 --> 00:13:44.620 if you refuse to speak about it? How can you 00:13:44.620 --> 00:13:50.360 be forgiven if you refuse to confess it? Amen. 00:13:52.460 --> 00:13:57.960 How can you heal it if you refuse to identify 00:13:57.960 --> 00:14:03.000 it? And I'm going to read some scripture to y 00:14:03.000 --> 00:14:05.429 'all. Because this was the scripture the Lord 00:14:05.429 --> 00:14:07.269 guide me to yesterday morning and when I prayed 00:14:07.269 --> 00:14:09.450 on scripture What are we gonna pull in today's 00:14:09.450 --> 00:14:13.009 podcast? This was it. It was James 5 Starting 00:14:13.009 --> 00:14:15.850 in verse 13. I'm in the she reads truth study 00:14:15.850 --> 00:14:18.929 Bible, which is the CSB and it says is anyone 00:14:18.929 --> 00:14:22.269 among you suffering He should pray is anyone 00:14:22.269 --> 00:14:25.590 cheerful. He should sing praises. Is anyone among 00:14:25.590 --> 00:14:28.610 you sick? He should call for the elders in the 00:14:28.610 --> 00:14:31.620 church and they are to pray over him, anointing 00:14:31.620 --> 00:14:34.779 him with oil in the name of the Lord. The prayer 00:14:34.779 --> 00:14:37.539 of faith will save the sick person, and the Lord 00:14:37.539 --> 00:14:40.299 will raise him up. If he has committed sins, 00:14:40.740 --> 00:14:43.299 he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your 00:14:43.299 --> 00:14:45.440 sins to one another and pray for one another, 00:14:45.679 --> 00:14:48.299 so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous 00:14:48.299 --> 00:14:51.629 person is very powerful in its effect. Elijah 00:14:51.629 --> 00:14:54.649 was a human being as we are, and he prayed earnestly 00:14:54.649 --> 00:14:57.049 that it would not rain, and for three years and 00:14:57.049 --> 00:14:59.570 six months it did not rain on the land. Then 00:14:59.570 --> 00:15:02.429 he prayed again, and the sky gave rain, and the 00:15:02.429 --> 00:15:05.190 land produced its fruits. My brothers and sisters, 00:15:05.350 --> 00:15:07.809 if any among you strays from the truth and someone 00:15:07.809 --> 00:15:10.330 turns him back, let that person know that whoever 00:15:10.330 --> 00:15:13.269 turns a sinner from the error of his way will 00:15:13.269 --> 00:15:16.029 save his soul from the death and cover a multitude 00:15:16.029 --> 00:15:19.600 of sins. this was the part that really stood 00:15:19.600 --> 00:15:23.039 out to me for this episode today y 'all which 00:15:23.039 --> 00:15:26.799 was therefore confess your sins to one another 00:15:26.799 --> 00:15:30.440 and pray for one another so that you may be healed 00:15:30.440 --> 00:15:35.500 in my walk with Christ there are things that 00:15:35.500 --> 00:15:40.940 I thought were healed already That in sitting 00:15:40.940 --> 00:15:43.320 down with the Lord and him kind of bringing them 00:15:43.320 --> 00:15:45.679 up. I realized oh, no that hasn't been healed 00:15:45.679 --> 00:15:49.700 I've just learned how to live with it I've just 00:15:49.700 --> 00:15:53.320 learned new ways to cope with it. I've just learned 00:15:53.320 --> 00:15:57.259 how to bury it. I've normalized the effects of 00:15:57.259 --> 00:16:01.580 it and I know this is something that they talked 00:16:01.580 --> 00:16:04.460 about kind of like in psychology For those of 00:16:04.460 --> 00:16:05.879 y 'all who didn't know when I was in college. 00:16:05.879 --> 00:16:08.809 I stayed psychology. I planned on being Well, 00:16:09.009 --> 00:16:11.769 my majors were social work with minors in psychology 00:16:11.769 --> 00:16:13.929 and counseling, but I really wanted to be a counselor. 00:16:14.429 --> 00:16:17.529 I really wanted to go more in that direction 00:16:17.529 --> 00:16:20.570 with it at the time. But I also went to a lot 00:16:20.570 --> 00:16:25.009 of counseling growing up. And one thing that 00:16:25.009 --> 00:16:29.049 was very prevalent was Identify it and name it 00:16:29.049 --> 00:16:31.049 so that way you can work on it and that's something 00:16:31.049 --> 00:16:33.190 I've actually seen the Lord really do in my life 00:16:33.190 --> 00:16:36.789 Right is you can't heal it or identify if you 00:16:36.789 --> 00:16:39.009 like you can't heal it if you don't name it and 00:16:39.009 --> 00:16:44.870 identify it first Like you can't heal The people 00:16:44.870 --> 00:16:47.570 -pleasing tendencies if you refuse to acknowledge 00:16:47.570 --> 00:16:51.860 that you're people -pleasing if you keep brushing 00:16:51.860 --> 00:16:54.879 away and defending it and normalizing it. The 00:16:54.879 --> 00:16:57.399 first step after just like naming it is like 00:16:57.399 --> 00:17:00.659 you gotta stop normalizing it. You gotta stop 00:17:00.659 --> 00:17:03.019 making excuses for it and accept that it's something 00:17:03.019 --> 00:17:05.380 that can be worked on and bettered. I feel like 00:17:05.380 --> 00:17:08.500 we, and I'm speaking from personal experience 00:17:08.500 --> 00:17:12.960 y 'all, like we sometimes hit like kind of a 00:17:12.960 --> 00:17:15.859 healing burnout or like a growth burnout or like 00:17:15.859 --> 00:17:18.130 isn't this just good enough? And we want to just 00:17:18.130 --> 00:17:21.650 make peace with who we are and where we are and 00:17:21.650 --> 00:17:24.970 say, I don't want to do anymore. I'm good enough. 00:17:25.130 --> 00:17:27.029 I'm better than who I used to be. Isn't this 00:17:27.029 --> 00:17:28.890 good enough? And I have hit those times with 00:17:28.890 --> 00:17:31.069 the Lord where I'm praying out to him and say, 00:17:31.089 --> 00:17:33.589 how much more work do you need me to do? How 00:17:33.589 --> 00:17:35.569 much more healing do you expect from me? How 00:17:35.569 --> 00:17:38.269 much more growth? And then he reminds me that 00:17:38.269 --> 00:17:40.970 this whole life is a sanctification process. 00:17:42.230 --> 00:17:45.089 And until I die, there is going to be things 00:17:45.089 --> 00:17:49.950 that can be grown and shifted and changed I'm 00:17:49.950 --> 00:17:52.430 never going to be like the best version of myself 00:17:52.430 --> 00:17:56.789 that is for after Jesus comes back and that is 00:17:56.789 --> 00:18:03.430 that's not something I can do myself and I know 00:18:03.430 --> 00:18:04.849 that there are other people out there who feel 00:18:04.849 --> 00:18:08.250 this way who are like What more does God expect 00:18:08.250 --> 00:18:10.369 from me? Well, at least I'm not doing this anymore. 00:18:10.410 --> 00:18:12.089 At least I'm not doing that anymore. Do I really 00:18:12.089 --> 00:18:14.349 need to improve this? Or people who claim it 00:18:14.349 --> 00:18:17.029 and own it and say this is just who I am. And 00:18:17.029 --> 00:18:18.970 there is no getting better. There is no growth 00:18:18.970 --> 00:18:21.970 here. That's a lie. That's a lie of the enemy 00:18:21.970 --> 00:18:25.150 and stop coming into agreement with that. The 00:18:25.150 --> 00:18:27.869 power of like life and death lies in the tongue. 00:18:28.569 --> 00:18:31.789 And I want to differentiate, you know, New Age 00:18:31.789 --> 00:18:34.789 ran with that. and calls it manifesting and says, 00:18:34.890 --> 00:18:36.829 you can speak whatever you want to exist. No, 00:18:37.210 --> 00:18:39.210 no, no, no. And that's not what we're talking 00:18:39.210 --> 00:18:45.329 about here. But what I will say is what you speak 00:18:45.329 --> 00:18:51.589 is what you start to believe. And if you start 00:18:51.589 --> 00:18:54.730 putting your belief that you are unable to be 00:18:54.730 --> 00:18:57.349 healed and you are unable to be restored, and 00:18:57.349 --> 00:19:00.529 this is just who you are when God tries to speak 00:19:00.529 --> 00:19:04.079 restoration to you. you're not going to put your 00:19:04.079 --> 00:19:07.079 faith in it. You're not going to believe it. 00:19:07.380 --> 00:19:09.440 And when you continue to come into agreements 00:19:09.440 --> 00:19:12.940 with lies of the enemy, which is that this is 00:19:12.940 --> 00:19:14.660 just who you are, this is just the way you are, 00:19:14.660 --> 00:19:16.700 when you continue to come into agreement with 00:19:16.700 --> 00:19:20.619 his lies, you're giving him access to keep you 00:19:20.619 --> 00:19:26.259 bound. Stop agreeing with the devil and start 00:19:26.259 --> 00:19:29.250 rebuking. Right? That was one of the first steps 00:19:29.250 --> 00:19:31.309 after giving my life to the Lord. He had me be 00:19:31.309 --> 00:19:34.150 very thoughtful of what I speak out loud, like 00:19:34.150 --> 00:19:36.950 what I come into agreement with. Like stop saying 00:19:36.950 --> 00:19:39.410 bad things about myself. Stop calling myself 00:19:39.410 --> 00:19:42.390 stupid. Stop calling myself unworthy. Stop calling 00:19:42.390 --> 00:19:44.869 myself all these things and start reminding myself 00:19:44.869 --> 00:19:49.670 of who God says I am. Stop calling, stop coming 00:19:49.670 --> 00:19:53.250 into agreement with all these things and start 00:19:53.529 --> 00:19:56.230 Coming into agreement with what God says because 00:19:56.230 --> 00:19:58.809 he is the truth. Jesus is the way the truth the 00:19:58.809 --> 00:20:01.309 life We have the truth right here in the bible 00:20:01.309 --> 00:20:08.549 start coming into agreement with that And there 00:20:08.549 --> 00:20:18.450 is such an importance In like Confession I know 00:20:18.450 --> 00:20:21.789 we're jumping from naming things and healing 00:20:21.789 --> 00:20:24.470 it to confession but this is the direction i'm 00:20:24.470 --> 00:20:27.410 feeling led in to confess your sins to one another 00:20:27.410 --> 00:20:31.029 now i was raised roman catholic for those of 00:20:31.029 --> 00:20:33.750 y 'all who didn't know so i was raised confessing 00:20:33.750 --> 00:20:38.009 like to a priest i was raised recognizing in 00:20:38.009 --> 00:20:39.930 my religion i was taught that confession was 00:20:39.930 --> 00:20:43.789 very important i personally however didn't prioritize 00:20:43.789 --> 00:20:46.569 confession as a kid i only went when it was like 00:20:46.569 --> 00:20:50.619 absolutely kind of mandatory like before um Obviously 00:20:50.619 --> 00:20:53.019 like my first communion go to confession before 00:20:53.019 --> 00:20:56.000 confirmation go to confession and in that in 00:20:56.000 --> 00:21:02.220 -between period it was really not something I 00:21:02.220 --> 00:21:06.359 Prioritized but I think it's also important for 00:21:06.359 --> 00:21:09.480 us to note that I didn't have a Serious relationship 00:21:09.480 --> 00:21:12.240 with Jesus at that time. I was Christian in name 00:21:12.240 --> 00:21:17.910 or Catholic in name but in my heart I wasn't 00:21:17.910 --> 00:21:20.410 surrendered to Christ. I didn't have a relationship 00:21:20.410 --> 00:21:22.109 with Christ. So therefore the things that would 00:21:22.109 --> 00:21:24.210 bring me closer to Christ, I didn't prioritize. 00:21:24.529 --> 00:21:27.589 I did my own thing. It was very clear where my 00:21:27.589 --> 00:21:30.630 faith was based off of my works and the fruits 00:21:30.630 --> 00:21:33.769 I was producing that weren't Christ -like, right? 00:21:37.190 --> 00:21:41.250 But confession is so important. Confessing your 00:21:41.250 --> 00:21:45.750 sins to one another. And you know, the way I 00:21:45.750 --> 00:21:49.069 personally Because you know now I attend a non 00:21:49.069 --> 00:21:53.430 -denominational church I see the importance of 00:21:53.430 --> 00:21:55.549 confessing my sins out loud and I'm more now 00:21:55.549 --> 00:21:57.869 when I confess my sins It's just someone a brother 00:21:57.869 --> 00:22:01.650 and sister in Christ that I trust who at this 00:22:01.650 --> 00:22:05.089 time like I confess to if that's my pastor if 00:22:05.089 --> 00:22:08.130 that's you know, I have a couple people that 00:22:08.130 --> 00:22:10.630 Again brothers and sisters in Christ and close 00:22:10.630 --> 00:22:12.950 with that when I'm in conversation all admit 00:22:12.950 --> 00:22:14.970 to him Hey, I've been thinking this way and I've 00:22:14.970 --> 00:22:18.500 been feeling this way And I just I know I need 00:22:18.500 --> 00:22:20.099 to say it out loud. I was actually having that 00:22:20.099 --> 00:22:22.279 conversation last night though. I was on the 00:22:22.279 --> 00:22:25.259 phone with someone and I was talking about a 00:22:25.259 --> 00:22:26.880 couple of different wrestles I was dealing with 00:22:26.880 --> 00:22:29.400 and I told them I said I feel led to confess 00:22:29.400 --> 00:22:31.779 this out loud right now and to say this out loud 00:22:31.779 --> 00:22:33.740 because now that it's brought out into the light 00:22:33.740 --> 00:22:35.960 and it's brought out into the open it can't keep 00:22:35.960 --> 00:22:40.519 me bound. It's been keeping me bound how I've 00:22:40.519 --> 00:22:42.480 been internalizing it and now that I've brought 00:22:42.480 --> 00:22:45.680 it out into the light like it can't hide. And 00:22:45.680 --> 00:22:50.619 now I can name it, now it can be healed, and 00:22:50.619 --> 00:22:53.000 now it can be prayed for too. Because that person 00:22:53.000 --> 00:22:55.339 I'm taking that to, I know is a person who prays 00:22:55.339 --> 00:22:59.480 for me. And I pray for that person too. And I 00:22:59.480 --> 00:23:01.759 think that's very important, just a side note 00:23:01.759 --> 00:23:04.559 that y 'all hear this today. You need to have 00:23:04.559 --> 00:23:06.059 people in your life that are going to pray for 00:23:06.059 --> 00:23:08.039 you. Because it's stated right here that the 00:23:08.039 --> 00:23:12.880 prayer of a righteous person, phew, God hears. 00:23:14.769 --> 00:23:18.109 and we've talked about this story a couple episodes 00:23:18.109 --> 00:23:21.789 back about Moses when you know he's raising his 00:23:21.789 --> 00:23:24.650 hands and when his hands are up the Israelites 00:23:24.650 --> 00:23:26.470 are seeing victory but when his hands fall down 00:23:26.470 --> 00:23:29.230 the enemy overtakes them so he has his brother 00:23:29.230 --> 00:23:32.829 and one other person that come and raise his 00:23:32.829 --> 00:23:36.170 hands up and hold his hands up and help him I 00:23:36.170 --> 00:23:40.220 believe it's in Ecclesiastes 2 Where it said 00:23:40.220 --> 00:23:42.599 that it's better one who has people with him 00:23:42.599 --> 00:23:44.279 because when he falls down they can pick him 00:23:44.279 --> 00:23:46.880 back up It is so important to have brothers and 00:23:46.880 --> 00:23:49.460 sisters in Christ like that you can go to and 00:23:49.460 --> 00:23:52.140 talk to Christian community and your walk with 00:23:52.140 --> 00:23:56.539 Christ is so important. It's not what saves you 00:23:56.539 --> 00:24:02.240 and You can be a Christian and be like isolated, 00:24:02.240 --> 00:24:09.339 but it's not the healthiest it's not Well, I 00:24:09.339 --> 00:24:11.559 believe God created us to experience in this 00:24:11.559 --> 00:24:14.140 life I do believe he created us to have relationships 00:24:14.140 --> 00:24:16.299 and have connections with people and to support 00:24:16.299 --> 00:24:20.779 our brothers and sisters in Christ right I'm 00:24:20.779 --> 00:24:23.779 one of the you might say Daniel. Why do I need 00:24:23.779 --> 00:24:25.380 community? Like what's the important thing about 00:24:25.380 --> 00:24:27.619 that? And I'm someone who I'm the first to say 00:24:27.619 --> 00:24:29.519 y 'all I don't have the diverse like I don't 00:24:29.519 --> 00:24:32.339 have a huge group I don't have a ton of people 00:24:32.339 --> 00:24:34.700 I can call up. There's a couple people I feel 00:24:34.700 --> 00:24:38.160 comfortable calling And most of the things I 00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:41.240 deal with me and the Lord. I don't take everything 00:24:41.240 --> 00:24:44.759 to this group. And I think that's another important 00:24:44.759 --> 00:24:46.119 thing that someone needs to hear. And I'm someone 00:24:46.119 --> 00:24:48.140 who I used to be one of those people who would 00:24:48.140 --> 00:24:50.240 call up. I used to have big friend groups and 00:24:50.240 --> 00:24:52.500 I would call them up with any minor life inconvenience 00:24:52.500 --> 00:24:54.220 or anything like that. It was a huge gossip. 00:24:55.839 --> 00:24:58.079 Gossiping about my own life gossiping about I 00:24:58.079 --> 00:25:00.079 would take it to them burst and seek emotional 00:25:00.079 --> 00:25:02.700 Validation and advice and the Lord took me through 00:25:02.700 --> 00:25:04.900 a lot of isolation periods where I had to learn 00:25:04.900 --> 00:25:09.200 to take things to God first I Take them to God 00:25:09.200 --> 00:25:12.079 first Because God's the only one that can fix 00:25:12.079 --> 00:25:14.299 it. God's the only one that can give me divine 00:25:14.299 --> 00:25:17.890 revelation. I take it to him first the big and 00:25:17.890 --> 00:25:20.690 the small things. And then after taking it to 00:25:20.690 --> 00:25:23.190 him, there are times when I feel led to talk 00:25:23.190 --> 00:25:29.430 to one of my brothers or sisters in Christ. I 00:25:29.430 --> 00:25:31.829 want to be very clear that God should still be 00:25:31.829 --> 00:25:34.490 the first, but having that community is very 00:25:34.490 --> 00:25:36.630 important. Y 'all, there have been some times 00:25:36.630 --> 00:25:38.710 when I have just been going through warfare out 00:25:38.710 --> 00:25:40.529 the wazoo where all of a sudden I'm hit with 00:25:40.529 --> 00:25:44.660 like depression and anxiety and fear and all 00:25:44.660 --> 00:25:46.759 of a sudden I feel like my faith is taking a 00:25:46.759 --> 00:25:49.400 hit my faith is shaking and where I'm praying 00:25:49.400 --> 00:25:52.700 but I just there's a part of me that's like I 00:25:52.700 --> 00:25:56.460 need supplemental prayer like I need some people 00:25:56.460 --> 00:25:59.519 in agreement with me praying for this I'm not 00:25:59.519 --> 00:26:03.460 meant to do this warfare on my own and when my 00:26:03.460 --> 00:26:06.599 church has a prayer team I can just send a text 00:26:06.599 --> 00:26:08.900 to them shoot them a text of like this is why 00:26:08.900 --> 00:26:12.430 I need prayer for I can tell they get on it quick 00:26:12.430 --> 00:26:15.609 and it's been unbelievable when I when I reach 00:26:15.609 --> 00:26:17.849 out to them for prayer I have a couple friends 00:26:17.849 --> 00:26:23.670 I can reach out to for prayer I have Not technically 00:26:23.670 --> 00:26:26.430 a blood relative but by marriage relative and 00:26:26.430 --> 00:26:30.269 I can reach out to for prayer And when I tell 00:26:30.269 --> 00:26:33.609 y 'all that it's crazy the relief I felt soon 00:26:33.609 --> 00:26:36.990 after they prayed for me The peace I have the 00:26:36.990 --> 00:26:41.349 clarity I have I have seen Just how much of an 00:26:41.349 --> 00:26:43.569 impact it makes when people who are in right 00:26:43.569 --> 00:26:45.569 standing with god pray for you Because that's 00:26:45.569 --> 00:26:47.470 what a righteous person is right is someone who's 00:26:47.470 --> 00:26:50.170 in right standing with god That's not a perfect 00:26:50.170 --> 00:26:54.109 person That's not the holiest like someone who's 00:26:54.109 --> 00:26:57.069 you know, has this level in the church. It's 00:26:57.069 --> 00:27:01.789 someone who's in right standing with god Someone 00:27:01.789 --> 00:27:05.079 who's seeking his will Someone who's submitting 00:27:05.079 --> 00:27:09.220 themselves to have prayers from those people 00:27:09.220 --> 00:27:13.680 life -changing And that's not saying that God 00:27:13.680 --> 00:27:19.140 wasn't listening to my prayer he heard me But 00:27:19.140 --> 00:27:22.599 he guided me for have some people in agreement 00:27:22.599 --> 00:27:27.880 Have some people lifting up your hands and those 00:27:27.880 --> 00:27:29.720 are opportunities for me to see wow, I really 00:27:29.720 --> 00:27:33.140 can't do life alone and go as far as I believe 00:27:33.140 --> 00:27:35.700 God wants to take me, I'm not going to be able 00:27:35.700 --> 00:27:39.940 to do it just by myself all the time. And I'm 00:27:39.940 --> 00:27:43.180 not meant to. But someone needs to hear this 00:27:43.180 --> 00:27:47.420 today that confessing your sin out loud, confessing 00:27:47.420 --> 00:27:49.480 what you did opens the door for you to be prayed 00:27:49.480 --> 00:27:52.740 for, which is very important. There's been sin 00:27:52.740 --> 00:27:56.019 struggles that after giving my life to Christ 00:27:56.019 --> 00:27:58.579 for like over a year I hadn't had to deal with 00:27:58.579 --> 00:28:00.900 and I hadn't had that temptation and then all 00:28:00.900 --> 00:28:03.720 of a sudden that temptation arises and I found 00:28:03.720 --> 00:28:06.859 myself falling into that sin and I was trying 00:28:06.859 --> 00:28:11.680 to pull myself out but it was like even after 00:28:11.680 --> 00:28:14.079 I stopped participating in that sin it was like 00:28:14.079 --> 00:28:17.140 a dark cloud that kind of weighed over me and 00:28:17.140 --> 00:28:19.160 a feeling of guilt and a feeling of shame and 00:28:19.160 --> 00:28:21.900 it was kind of eating me up and I took it to 00:28:21.900 --> 00:28:27.569 the Lord And I knew he was forgiving me. But 00:28:27.569 --> 00:28:30.190 I really felt him lead me of like, you need to 00:28:30.190 --> 00:28:33.170 confess this out loud. Like, tell someone that 00:28:33.170 --> 00:28:37.930 you're struggling with this. Tell someone that 00:28:37.930 --> 00:28:43.809 this is kind of overtaking you. And I did. I 00:28:43.809 --> 00:28:46.869 told someone about it. And it's crazy the shame 00:28:46.869 --> 00:28:48.630 that was broken off because it was no longer 00:28:48.630 --> 00:28:54.680 a secret. It's crazy how much you're bound when 00:28:54.680 --> 00:28:58.599 you're keeping secrets. And how much of a freedom 00:28:58.599 --> 00:29:01.579 you experience when you stop keeping that secret. 00:29:03.209 --> 00:29:06.089 And that for me was like letting go of that secret, 00:29:06.109 --> 00:29:08.170 right? And even though it was something I felt 00:29:08.170 --> 00:29:10.009 like was shameful and I was like, how can I be 00:29:10.009 --> 00:29:12.990 a good Christian? When I tell y 'all that the 00:29:12.990 --> 00:29:14.710 shame that was eating me up, like what was going 00:29:14.710 --> 00:29:16.329 on in my head is, Danielle, you're not deserving 00:29:16.329 --> 00:29:18.650 of a podcast. How can you speak to other people 00:29:18.650 --> 00:29:20.849 when you're personally struggling with this? 00:29:21.089 --> 00:29:22.670 And when you're personally dealing with this, 00:29:22.750 --> 00:29:25.910 like how do you expect God to use you if you're 00:29:25.910 --> 00:29:28.529 giving into this sin? How do you expect God to 00:29:28.529 --> 00:29:31.829 use you? Like... you don't deserve to make another 00:29:31.829 --> 00:29:34.289 episode you don't deserve to go talk to people 00:29:34.289 --> 00:29:36.210 that blessing you just recently received yeah 00:29:36.210 --> 00:29:38.430 you don't like when i tell y 'all it was eating 00:29:38.430 --> 00:29:43.529 me up like that but it was after i confessed 00:29:43.529 --> 00:29:47.049 it out loud and i knew that person prayed for 00:29:47.049 --> 00:29:49.190 me and you know they they shared some scripture 00:29:49.190 --> 00:29:52.789 with me and just encouraged me it was like the 00:29:52.789 --> 00:29:55.609 shackles fell off me and it wasn't like i never 00:29:55.609 --> 00:29:59.319 dealt with the temptation again But I wasn't 00:29:59.319 --> 00:30:04.200 drowning in that shame anymore I Wasn't and it 00:30:04.200 --> 00:30:07.400 was unbelievable y 'all it's crazy what truth 00:30:07.400 --> 00:30:10.880 can do for you I was someone who grew up telling 00:30:10.880 --> 00:30:14.160 a lot of little white lies and In my teenage 00:30:14.160 --> 00:30:16.680 years in my adulthood I learned to like there 00:30:16.680 --> 00:30:18.279 were times when I was like, yeah I could tell 00:30:18.279 --> 00:30:21.079 the truth, but I feel like if I told the truth 00:30:21.079 --> 00:30:24.940 There would be some drama or conflict or any 00:30:24.940 --> 00:30:28.259 of these things. So I learned to like Navigate 00:30:28.259 --> 00:30:32.480 like tell half truths or make up lies and I was 00:30:32.480 --> 00:30:34.599 telling myself well it's keeping peace and it 00:30:34.599 --> 00:30:38.460 makes other people feel better and In all honesty, 00:30:38.460 --> 00:30:40.519 it was comforting for myself. I didn't want to 00:30:40.519 --> 00:30:43.259 deal with conflict or drama. So why that's not 00:30:43.259 --> 00:30:46.799 helping anyone It was only helping me emotionally 00:30:46.799 --> 00:30:51.539 to feel better and before you knew it and I also 00:30:51.539 --> 00:30:53.440 knew sometimes if I told the truth to someone 00:30:53.440 --> 00:30:58.250 they might reject me they might pull away and 00:30:58.250 --> 00:31:02.390 I didn't want that to happen and before I gave 00:31:02.390 --> 00:31:04.210 my life to Christ I looked around at my life 00:31:04.210 --> 00:31:06.230 and it was like I was living in so much deception 00:31:06.230 --> 00:31:10.549 and it's so hard keeping up with lies and it's 00:31:10.549 --> 00:31:13.410 it's so hard like emotionally it's hard mentally 00:31:13.410 --> 00:31:14.910 it's hard because you're trying to remember what 00:31:14.910 --> 00:31:16.890 you talked about and like what the storyline 00:31:16.890 --> 00:31:18.630 is and everything like that and you're going 00:31:18.630 --> 00:31:20.410 around shifting all these things around to not 00:31:20.410 --> 00:31:23.529 get caught in a lie and in giving my life to 00:31:23.529 --> 00:31:27.029 Jesus there was like a second opportunity to 00:31:27.029 --> 00:31:30.309 live in truth because by the time I gave my life 00:31:30.309 --> 00:31:32.170 to Christ my life was the lowest I'd ever been 00:31:32.170 --> 00:31:34.410 but a lot of my secrets were out in the open. 00:31:34.609 --> 00:31:36.230 Now I want to be very clear that a lot of my 00:31:36.230 --> 00:31:37.970 secrets that were out in the open because I had 00:31:37.970 --> 00:31:40.250 refused to speak on them a lot of them were twisted 00:31:40.250 --> 00:31:44.009 so a lot of people had like a misunderstanding 00:31:44.009 --> 00:31:47.529 so it was like even though the truth was out 00:31:47.529 --> 00:31:51.829 like my I was no longer able to hide in the lies 00:31:51.829 --> 00:31:54.980 people didn't know the truth. Guess is a better 00:31:54.980 --> 00:31:57.519 way to word it. It was kind of a weird situation 00:31:57.519 --> 00:32:00.240 and when I gave my life to the Lord I felt the 00:32:00.240 --> 00:32:02.000 Lord really revealed me this is an opportunity 00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:07.319 to just live in truth and The more I got my strength 00:32:07.319 --> 00:32:09.940 from God and the more I submitted my will to 00:32:09.940 --> 00:32:13.000 God more I was allowing him to guide my decisions 00:32:13.000 --> 00:32:16.180 and my desires in life and That way when I when 00:32:16.180 --> 00:32:18.380 I would hit a point where someone would ask me 00:32:18.380 --> 00:32:20.240 What do you plan on doing with your life? What 00:32:20.240 --> 00:32:21.980 do you plan on this? What's your desire with 00:32:21.980 --> 00:32:26.420 this? Mine was rooted in Christ and I had a confidence 00:32:26.420 --> 00:32:29.240 to speak on it. Even if that person didn't like 00:32:29.240 --> 00:32:32.039 it, because the majority of people weren't submit 00:32:32.039 --> 00:32:34.980 to Christ and didn't share my belief or my desires 00:32:34.980 --> 00:32:37.160 or my values. And you know, some of them would 00:32:37.160 --> 00:32:38.779 get frustrated and say, well, that's stupid. 00:32:39.240 --> 00:32:42.400 That's this. Well, that's that. I was able to 00:32:42.400 --> 00:32:44.579 kind of stand by it though. There was a truth 00:32:44.579 --> 00:32:49.240 I was able to walk in. And it was so freeing 00:32:49.240 --> 00:32:51.339 because there were no lies I had to keep up with 00:32:51.339 --> 00:32:53.220 people would ask me a question I would give them 00:32:53.220 --> 00:32:56.539 my straight -up answer and I wasn't worried about 00:32:56.539 --> 00:32:59.740 It is weird because it was like I wasn't so worried 00:32:59.740 --> 00:33:02.279 about how they would react or how they would 00:33:02.279 --> 00:33:05.180 feel about how I feel or How they would feel 00:33:05.180 --> 00:33:07.619 about my opinion they asked here's the answer 00:33:08.269 --> 00:33:10.210 None of you so thoughtful was saying this that 00:33:10.210 --> 00:33:12.509 the Lord helped me work on my wording. It wasn't 00:33:12.509 --> 00:33:15.490 like I was just being really mean and cruel But 00:33:15.490 --> 00:33:18.990 I was being honest. I realized that it delays 00:33:18.990 --> 00:33:24.089 so much and it's so unnecessary to dance around 00:33:24.089 --> 00:33:28.529 and Sugarcoat things just say it for what it 00:33:28.529 --> 00:33:33.269 is But make sure you do it with love But when 00:33:33.269 --> 00:33:36.029 I tell you all that it is freeing And if God 00:33:36.029 --> 00:33:38.730 is guiding you, if you have felt the Holy Spirit 00:33:38.730 --> 00:33:42.450 leading you to confess sins, I'm encouraging 00:33:42.450 --> 00:33:45.170 you to do it. Because not only does scripture 00:33:45.170 --> 00:33:47.150 say you should do it, the Bible says you should 00:33:47.150 --> 00:33:49.650 do it, but I have firsthand seen the impact it 00:33:49.650 --> 00:33:52.309 has on my life. It has freed me, it has opened 00:33:52.309 --> 00:33:55.230 up doors. There are connections, there are relationships 00:33:55.230 --> 00:33:57.670 that have been rebuilt through me confessing 00:33:57.670 --> 00:34:00.269 my sin that I didn't think were possible to be 00:34:00.269 --> 00:34:02.650 rebuilt. And I want to be so clear that these 00:34:03.440 --> 00:34:06.380 Relationships the firm foundation is Christ Christ 00:34:06.380 --> 00:34:11.179 was the foundation of this rebuild He had to 00:34:11.179 --> 00:34:12.920 be present in both of our lives both parties 00:34:12.920 --> 00:34:17.360 had to be repentant But confessing your sins 00:34:17.360 --> 00:34:19.920 out loud that's gonna free you and it's gonna 00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:22.159 open doors that you never thought could be open 00:34:22.159 --> 00:34:24.940 and I want to move on to say this y 'all that 00:34:24.940 --> 00:34:27.840 Being willing to confess these things out loud 00:34:28.159 --> 00:34:31.179 opens the door for these things to become testimony 00:34:31.179 --> 00:34:34.519 and to be used by God to change other people's 00:34:34.519 --> 00:34:39.000 lives. Because yeah, it's amazing for you to 00:34:39.000 --> 00:34:42.260 see how God can redeem it and how God can restore 00:34:42.260 --> 00:34:44.139 it, but these good things aren't meant to be 00:34:44.139 --> 00:34:46.579 kept for just you. They're meant to be shared. 00:34:49.199 --> 00:34:51.579 God does these things in our lives, yes, because 00:34:51.579 --> 00:34:54.199 He loves us, but also because He can use it to 00:34:54.199 --> 00:34:57.000 further the Kingdom of Heaven, to help you create 00:34:57.000 --> 00:35:02.500 disciples, the Great Commission. You can talk 00:35:02.500 --> 00:35:04.179 to people who are going through similar things 00:35:04.179 --> 00:35:06.719 and say, God worked in my life. This is what 00:35:06.719 --> 00:35:08.659 He did. I want to be so clear, you're not changing 00:35:08.659 --> 00:35:10.760 hearts, but you're planting the seeds. Or maybe 00:35:10.760 --> 00:35:12.739 you're watering seeds that someone else has already 00:35:12.739 --> 00:35:17.949 planted. But God will use that testimony Speak 00:35:17.949 --> 00:35:21.769 to others that he can't do it until you're willing 00:35:21.769 --> 00:35:25.010 to stand up and share it Until you're willing 00:35:25.010 --> 00:35:29.070 to say God using this is more important than 00:35:29.070 --> 00:35:32.469 my personal comfort Like do y 'all really think 00:35:32.469 --> 00:35:34.449 that I woke up one day and said oh, I want to 00:35:34.449 --> 00:35:36.230 tell the world about my sobriety convictions 00:35:36.230 --> 00:35:39.010 I want to tell the world about my past struggles 00:35:39.010 --> 00:35:41.630 with that I want to tell the world that although 00:35:41.630 --> 00:35:44.250 I'm a Christian like I still have sin struggles 00:35:45.289 --> 00:35:47.929 I want to tell the world that I was in New Age 00:35:47.929 --> 00:35:51.489 and I was in tarot card and witchcraft. Do you 00:35:51.489 --> 00:35:54.389 all really think I woke up and said, I just I 00:35:54.389 --> 00:35:56.590 want to tell people about that. I just feel like 00:35:56.590 --> 00:36:00.449 telling people about that today. No. Those are 00:36:00.449 --> 00:36:02.550 things where the Lord was really impressing on 00:36:02.550 --> 00:36:05.050 me. These are testimonies you need to share. 00:36:05.449 --> 00:36:07.889 And those were private wrestles I had with God 00:36:07.889 --> 00:36:09.889 of like, God, what if people view it this way? 00:36:10.150 --> 00:36:13.260 What if it's twisted this way? What if, you know, 00:36:13.400 --> 00:36:15.639 this door closes? What if this thing happens? 00:36:17.440 --> 00:36:20.500 And I had to learn to trust Him regardless. And 00:36:20.500 --> 00:36:23.199 I had to empty myself out and remind myself that 00:36:23.199 --> 00:36:28.360 I am just a vessel here to be used by God. It's 00:36:28.360 --> 00:36:30.659 not all about me. I'm not the main character. 00:36:31.079 --> 00:36:33.179 In my own story, I am not the main character. 00:36:34.099 --> 00:36:36.119 It's not all about me and what I want and how 00:36:36.119 --> 00:36:39.860 I feel. I was created to worship and serve God. 00:36:41.589 --> 00:36:44.090 And if the best way I can serve him is by sharing 00:36:44.090 --> 00:36:46.409 testimonies, I have to be willing to empty myself 00:36:46.409 --> 00:36:48.889 out to that point. I have to be willing to empty 00:36:48.889 --> 00:36:52.510 myself out to where it's like... I want to quote 00:36:52.510 --> 00:36:55.289 Philip Anthony Mitchell. And if y 'all don't 00:36:55.289 --> 00:36:57.329 know who that is, I really recommend you go look 00:36:57.329 --> 00:37:00.010 him up. He is very convicting in the way he speaks. 00:37:00.539 --> 00:37:03.119 And I believe truly that this man was anointed 00:37:03.119 --> 00:37:05.659 by God to speak with the conviction he has. And 00:37:05.659 --> 00:37:07.500 a lot of people feel some type of way about what 00:37:07.500 --> 00:37:10.099 he says. They feel like, oh, he's too doom and 00:37:10.099 --> 00:37:13.260 gloom, like he's too, they call him legalistic 00:37:13.260 --> 00:37:16.179 or all these things, because they feel convicted. 00:37:20.000 --> 00:37:21.820 Or they say, where is that in the Bible? Open 00:37:21.820 --> 00:37:25.440 up your Bible and you'll see. I remember one 00:37:25.440 --> 00:37:27.239 of the first things he said that caught my attention 00:37:27.239 --> 00:37:29.869 was, This isn't my gospel. He says this isn't 00:37:29.869 --> 00:37:32.070 Philip Anthony Mitchell. Open your Bible and 00:37:32.070 --> 00:37:35.030 read it for yourself. Pray for an understanding. 00:37:35.949 --> 00:37:37.590 There are a lot of people who read scripture 00:37:37.590 --> 00:37:40.989 that don't understand what they're reading. That 00:37:40.989 --> 00:37:43.590 aren't praying for the understanding. I will 00:37:43.590 --> 00:37:46.289 be the first to say like I truly believe Philip 00:37:46.289 --> 00:37:48.510 Anthony Mitchell was anointed by God to speak 00:37:48.510 --> 00:37:55.150 the way he speaks. There is a revival that he's 00:37:55.150 --> 00:37:58.210 assisting in. And I believe that it's not him 00:37:58.210 --> 00:37:59.909 speaking. It's the Holy Spirit speaking through 00:37:59.909 --> 00:38:02.670 him It's God pouring out through him what Philip 00:38:02.670 --> 00:38:05.070 Anthony Mitchell does and I believe it's it's 00:38:05.070 --> 00:38:08.449 a wonderful thing to see is he empties himself 00:38:08.449 --> 00:38:13.250 out to a point of being used by God and I aspire 00:38:13.250 --> 00:38:15.489 to empty myself out to the point that he empties 00:38:15.489 --> 00:38:18.710 himself out to to be used by God and the way 00:38:18.710 --> 00:38:23.150 he's used But that also came along with I'm sure 00:38:23.150 --> 00:38:26.519 a lot of warfare and a lot of seasons that produce 00:38:26.519 --> 00:38:29.300 the oil necessary for the anointing. What we 00:38:29.300 --> 00:38:32.599 see now was probably a 20, 30, 40 year, I'm not 00:38:32.599 --> 00:38:35.820 sure how old he is, but a very long process to 00:38:35.820 --> 00:38:39.159 get to. And I've heard his past testimonies of 00:38:39.159 --> 00:38:41.360 things that he struggled with, of, you know, 00:38:41.539 --> 00:38:43.300 like times of like pride and we're, and this 00:38:43.300 --> 00:38:47.199 is where we get to is I recently watched a podcast 00:38:47.199 --> 00:38:48.920 where he was talking about he went on a trip 00:38:48.920 --> 00:38:51.679 and I believe it was to Israel. and you know 00:38:51.679 --> 00:38:54.920 there's some people from brazil that end up speaking 00:38:54.920 --> 00:38:56.719 to him through a translator like after they were 00:38:56.719 --> 00:38:58.940 in a time of worship and saying like basically 00:38:58.940 --> 00:39:01.760 are you your country is dying spiritually like 00:39:01.760 --> 00:39:04.340 they need revival are you ready to be sent like 00:39:04.340 --> 00:39:06.860 are you willing to do this and he went on to 00:39:06.860 --> 00:39:09.039 say i learned that i have to be willing to speak 00:39:09.039 --> 00:39:11.199 whether it empties out a room or fills it up 00:39:12.019 --> 00:39:14.300 And that's something I felt the Lord really putting 00:39:14.300 --> 00:39:16.659 in me the past couple years of like, you have 00:39:16.659 --> 00:39:19.360 to be willing to be used by me and say these 00:39:19.360 --> 00:39:21.980 things and do these things whether 100 people 00:39:21.980 --> 00:39:24.039 are clapping for you or everyone turns their 00:39:24.039 --> 00:39:26.860 back on you. And I've experienced both. I've 00:39:26.860 --> 00:39:28.719 had times when people are like, yes, girl, preach. 00:39:29.179 --> 00:39:31.400 Yes, girl, speak that message. And I've had times 00:39:31.400 --> 00:39:32.780 when people are like, who does she think she 00:39:32.780 --> 00:39:39.260 is? I don't want to hear that. And right now 00:39:39.260 --> 00:39:41.480 it's in a small scale. I know that I'll experience 00:39:41.480 --> 00:39:44.800 that bigger in God's timing, rejection -wise 00:39:44.800 --> 00:39:47.800 and acceptance -wise. And you have to be willing 00:39:47.800 --> 00:39:50.739 to pour out and be used by Him whether you receive 00:39:50.739 --> 00:39:53.320 claps or whether people walk away. And that was 00:39:53.320 --> 00:39:55.019 something that he spoke that I was like, dang. 00:39:59.320 --> 00:40:02.519 And he didn't get to that point. It wasn't just 00:40:02.519 --> 00:40:04.219 he woke up that day, gave his life to Christ, 00:40:04.320 --> 00:40:06.639 and the Lord spoke that to him. He had been doing 00:40:06.639 --> 00:40:10.809 this for a minute. Someone may need to hear today 00:40:10.809 --> 00:40:13.949 the process God takes you through before he opens 00:40:13.949 --> 00:40:19.269 up that door can be a long one Paul before he 00:40:19.269 --> 00:40:20.630 went on writing these letters. I believe it was 00:40:20.630 --> 00:40:23.210 like a decade that he was just spending time 00:40:23.210 --> 00:40:27.429 with the Lord being used by the Lord Developing 00:40:27.429 --> 00:40:30.789 relationship with the Lord There's sometimes 00:40:30.789 --> 00:40:32.829 God will speak something to you and it doesn't 00:40:32.829 --> 00:40:35.809 happen until five ten fifteen twenty years down 00:40:35.809 --> 00:40:38.940 the road and what happens in between is preparing 00:40:38.940 --> 00:40:43.760 you when God anoints you with oil there's a crushing 00:40:43.760 --> 00:40:46.019 to get the oil that's how they get oil out of 00:40:46.019 --> 00:40:48.980 the olives as they have to crush them and you 00:40:48.980 --> 00:40:50.500 go through a period in your life where you're 00:40:50.500 --> 00:40:53.500 being crushed and I'll tell you all straight 00:40:53.500 --> 00:40:58.000 up learning how to confess your sins and walk 00:40:58.000 --> 00:41:02.710 in truth Bring things to the light, they're keeping 00:41:02.710 --> 00:41:05.190 you bound. That is part of the crushing. It's 00:41:05.190 --> 00:41:09.630 been part of my crushing. How can I expect the 00:41:09.630 --> 00:41:12.250 Lord to use me in big ways if I'm too scared 00:41:12.250 --> 00:41:15.469 to bring things out to the light? How can I expect 00:41:15.469 --> 00:41:17.530 to help other people who are dealing with those 00:41:17.530 --> 00:41:20.710 past traumas and pains and sufferings if I'm 00:41:20.710 --> 00:41:23.670 too ashamed to bring mine to the light? If I'm 00:41:23.670 --> 00:41:25.329 too ashamed to say, hey, I made that mistake 00:41:25.329 --> 00:41:28.050 too? If I'm too ashamed to say, hey, I believe 00:41:28.050 --> 00:41:31.730 that lie too? How can I expect to be used by 00:41:31.730 --> 00:41:33.690 God to help these people if I'm not even willing 00:41:33.690 --> 00:41:39.909 to be honest about how he's helped me? How do 00:41:39.909 --> 00:41:42.329 I expect people to relate to me if I won't even 00:41:42.329 --> 00:41:45.510 share what makes me relatable? How do I expect 00:41:45.510 --> 00:41:47.710 God to use me to speak to other people who are 00:41:47.710 --> 00:41:49.550 wrestling with sin if I'm not even honest about 00:41:49.550 --> 00:41:55.809 my wrestles with sin? How can I encourage people 00:41:55.809 --> 00:41:58.269 to be sanctified and be a better person if I 00:41:58.269 --> 00:42:00.670 refuse to be sanctified and become a better person? 00:42:01.510 --> 00:42:04.010 How can I be used to encourage other people if 00:42:04.010 --> 00:42:10.750 I refuse myself to be encouraged? How can I expect 00:42:10.750 --> 00:42:14.150 other people to be honest with me and do right 00:42:14.150 --> 00:42:16.170 by me if I won't be honest with them and do right 00:42:16.170 --> 00:42:19.030 by them? That's something that's in scripture, 00:42:19.190 --> 00:42:20.630 y 'all, is to treat people the way you want to 00:42:20.630 --> 00:42:24.389 be treated. I know we've heard that growing up, 00:42:24.730 --> 00:42:26.670 the golden rule, treat other people the way you 00:42:26.670 --> 00:42:28.329 want to be treated, but that's actually biblical. 00:42:28.909 --> 00:42:30.929 Do onto one as you would want done onto you. 00:42:32.010 --> 00:42:33.750 I want people to be honest with me and do right 00:42:33.750 --> 00:42:35.389 by me, I'm gonna be honest with them and do right 00:42:35.389 --> 00:42:37.250 by them. I want people to forgive me, I'm gonna 00:42:37.250 --> 00:42:39.449 forgive them. Even if they're gonna continue 00:42:39.449 --> 00:42:41.210 hurting me, I'm gonna continue forgiving them. 00:42:42.590 --> 00:42:44.130 And remember, y 'all, forgiveness and access 00:42:44.130 --> 00:42:46.710 isn't the same thing. if someone is unrepentant 00:42:46.710 --> 00:42:48.190 and they don't see wrong they're going to continue 00:42:48.190 --> 00:42:50.309 to hurt you don't open up the door for that but 00:42:50.309 --> 00:42:52.849 you can continue to forgive them you can continue 00:42:52.849 --> 00:42:59.530 to pray for them someone needs to hear this today 00:42:59.530 --> 00:43:02.329 and i know it's something i need to hear today 00:43:02.329 --> 00:43:05.170 even speaking about this y 'all i know is freeing 00:43:05.170 --> 00:43:07.519 for me As I said in the beginning of this episode, 00:43:07.539 --> 00:43:09.639 this is a hard topic for me and it's a hard topic 00:43:09.639 --> 00:43:12.960 for me because I know even to this day that there 00:43:12.960 --> 00:43:17.579 are people who are protected by my silence. That 00:43:17.579 --> 00:43:21.079 there are people who, and I want to be so thoughtful, 00:43:21.300 --> 00:43:23.179 Holy Spirit help me word this, there are people 00:43:23.179 --> 00:43:27.579 who are relying on me keeping silent and staying 00:43:27.579 --> 00:43:31.679 in my shame and staying too fearful to talk about 00:43:31.679 --> 00:43:33.940 it and wanting to just move on and act like it 00:43:33.940 --> 00:43:39.039 never happened. But when the Lord calls me to 00:43:39.039 --> 00:43:40.820 share testimonies and speak about the things 00:43:40.820 --> 00:43:43.179 he's revealing to me and sharing with me I'm 00:43:43.179 --> 00:43:46.440 gonna listen to that I Want to be so clear y 00:43:46.440 --> 00:43:47.920 'all that when I speak when I'm just sitting 00:43:47.920 --> 00:43:50.059 here and telling me all these truths and these 00:43:50.059 --> 00:43:52.599 things These are testimonies. I hope are gonna 00:43:52.599 --> 00:43:55.059 help other people. It's in no way directed to 00:43:55.059 --> 00:43:59.039 hurt other people To expose other people or to 00:43:59.039 --> 00:44:00.880 do anything like that. You all see I keep things 00:44:00.880 --> 00:44:03.940 very private I never name names. I never give 00:44:03.940 --> 00:44:09.269 specific identifiers I want to keep things... 00:44:09.269 --> 00:44:12.670 I still... Because I would want other people 00:44:12.670 --> 00:44:14.769 to protect my privacy, I protect other people's 00:44:14.769 --> 00:44:17.789 privacy in that way. But I'm no longer acting 00:44:17.789 --> 00:44:21.789 like things didn't happen. And I'm no longer 00:44:21.789 --> 00:44:25.570 keeping testimonies quiet out of fear that someone 00:44:25.570 --> 00:44:27.309 else might feel some type of way because I'm 00:44:27.309 --> 00:44:30.449 sharing my testimony. You know what I mean? and 00:44:30.449 --> 00:44:34.630 I pray and I hope that the wording on that was 00:44:34.630 --> 00:44:37.010 clear and that you're able to understand that. 00:44:37.190 --> 00:44:40.670 Everything I share is meant to glorify God and 00:44:40.670 --> 00:44:43.429 to help other people heal. It's not to vindicate 00:44:43.429 --> 00:44:47.469 myself or to make myself feel better and a lot 00:44:47.469 --> 00:44:49.130 of these things the Lord actually really has 00:44:49.130 --> 00:44:51.409 to encourage me before I'm willing to share because 00:44:51.409 --> 00:44:53.730 it's actually uncomfortable for me to share because 00:44:53.730 --> 00:44:55.369 I would rather keep a lot of these things quiet 00:44:55.369 --> 00:44:58.210 and just go about life as normal. But I also 00:44:58.210 --> 00:45:00.050 recognize that in doing that there are other 00:45:00.050 --> 00:45:02.269 people who aren't seeing Because I know there 00:45:02.269 --> 00:45:05.429 are people who also listen to this podcast Who 00:45:05.429 --> 00:45:07.789 probably aren't very happy to hear certain testimonies 00:45:07.789 --> 00:45:09.789 i'm sharing that might give them something to 00:45:09.789 --> 00:45:12.349 reflect on This might be a way god speaks to 00:45:12.349 --> 00:45:15.610 them You know, it's crazy how god works and how 00:45:15.610 --> 00:45:19.969 god moves, but I pray That y 'all who are listening 00:45:19.969 --> 00:45:24.210 to this today that there is some kind of healing 00:45:24.210 --> 00:45:27.380 that you receive in the words that you hear me 00:45:27.380 --> 00:45:29.360 speaking. And I pray that's the Holy Spirit speaking 00:45:29.360 --> 00:45:31.400 through me to you today. There are some things 00:45:31.400 --> 00:45:33.139 that I know I'm saying out loud right now that 00:45:33.139 --> 00:45:36.179 is not me that usually don't have the courage 00:45:36.179 --> 00:45:40.920 to say. And don't be afraid to ask for prayer. 00:45:42.159 --> 00:45:44.579 Don't be afraid to ask for prayer from the very 00:45:44.579 --> 00:45:47.300 people that you've hurt. You know, that's interesting 00:45:47.300 --> 00:45:49.820 enough. I'm one of the main people that I confess 00:45:49.820 --> 00:45:52.500 my sins to. Like, you know, when I when I think 00:45:52.500 --> 00:45:55.059 of like who How we were talking earlier about 00:45:55.059 --> 00:45:56.480 like having to trust your brother and sister 00:45:56.480 --> 00:45:58.500 in Christ that you can confess your sins to and 00:45:58.500 --> 00:46:02.059 trust that they're gonna pray for you Is actually 00:46:02.059 --> 00:46:04.159 someone that a couple seasons ago I rejected 00:46:04.159 --> 00:46:05.880 before I gave my life to Christ. I don't want 00:46:05.880 --> 00:46:07.780 anything to do with that person I felt like they 00:46:07.780 --> 00:46:09.420 were judgmental in these things. I caused that 00:46:09.420 --> 00:46:12.300 person some pain and You know this person has 00:46:12.300 --> 00:46:17.840 caused me pain but like I Received prayer from 00:46:17.840 --> 00:46:21.139 the very person who like a couple seasons ago 00:46:22.760 --> 00:46:25.920 I would have never wanted to confess these things 00:46:25.920 --> 00:46:29.239 to that I was wrestling with and dealing with. 00:46:30.619 --> 00:46:37.000 It's really interesting how the Lord works. And 00:46:37.000 --> 00:46:39.579 you have no idea how God is going to use that 00:46:39.579 --> 00:46:42.480 step of faith. If you all haven't read the book, 00:46:43.329 --> 00:46:46.349 The cost of discipleship by Diedrich Bonhoeffer. 00:46:46.369 --> 00:46:48.170 I do recommend you go read it because it's really 00:46:48.170 --> 00:46:50.369 interesting in one of his chapters He says that 00:46:50.369 --> 00:46:52.190 action comes before faith and the first time 00:46:52.190 --> 00:46:54.289 I was reading I was like no You have to have 00:46:54.289 --> 00:46:56.210 faith to take the action. You have to have the 00:46:56.210 --> 00:46:58.469 belief but the more I started reading I was like, 00:46:58.469 --> 00:47:00.969 oh, I see where he's going with this Because 00:47:00.969 --> 00:47:02.730 there were times where God called me to take 00:47:02.730 --> 00:47:04.949 an action and just you know, the faith would 00:47:04.949 --> 00:47:07.969 come after Like when I wouldn't have a lot of 00:47:07.969 --> 00:47:10.130 faith and God would call me to take a step and 00:47:10.130 --> 00:47:12.849 after I take that step off the little faith I 00:47:12.849 --> 00:47:18.690 had, or just the little trust I had, it actually 00:47:18.690 --> 00:47:21.570 increased my faith a lot later on. I've shared 00:47:21.570 --> 00:47:23.989 testimonies with that before, like, for example, 00:47:24.789 --> 00:47:27.329 when the Lord called me to quit when I was a 00:47:27.329 --> 00:47:28.849 terror reader and trust that God was going to 00:47:28.849 --> 00:47:31.909 provide. That was a big deal for me. And I didn't 00:47:31.909 --> 00:47:33.309 really have the faith because I was like, God, 00:47:33.489 --> 00:47:35.429 I've never seen you do that in the past. How 00:47:35.429 --> 00:47:37.980 are you going to do it now? and he was like just 00:47:37.980 --> 00:47:41.219 trust like just just take this step and the faith 00:47:41.219 --> 00:47:44.480 will come after and i took that step and he showed 00:47:44.480 --> 00:47:47.579 up in miraculous ways where later on when he 00:47:47.579 --> 00:47:49.239 called me to take big leaps of faith i was able 00:47:49.239 --> 00:47:50.800 to look back and be like god did it that time 00:47:50.800 --> 00:47:52.940 he's going to do it again and i feel like someone 00:47:52.940 --> 00:47:54.800 needs to hear that today is sometimes the act 00:47:54.800 --> 00:47:58.380 of obedience comes before having all the faith 00:47:58.380 --> 00:48:02.579 sometimes it's just obeying god and then seeing 00:48:02.579 --> 00:48:07.579 how he shows up that's what increases your faith. 00:48:09.980 --> 00:48:15.579 Now I pray this episode really helps you and 00:48:15.579 --> 00:48:19.159 unbinds you in a way and I do encourage y 'all 00:48:19.159 --> 00:48:22.099 listen through this again take notes I feel like 00:48:22.099 --> 00:48:23.579 this is one of those episodes where it's good 00:48:23.579 --> 00:48:27.719 to take notes and look back on and see like how 00:48:27.719 --> 00:48:30.019 this can relate to your life because there are 00:48:30.019 --> 00:48:32.440 a lot of people who I believe are dealing with 00:48:32.440 --> 00:48:36.039 the shame and protecting others and people pleasing 00:48:36.039 --> 00:48:38.539 and fear sharing testimonies and all these things 00:48:38.539 --> 00:48:42.900 that you've normalized it so much or you defend 00:48:42.900 --> 00:48:47.179 it so much You don't see how it's impacting you 00:48:47.179 --> 00:48:49.239 and how it's actually still part of your life 00:48:49.239 --> 00:48:51.699 when I was a new age y 'all I believe that I 00:48:51.699 --> 00:48:55.000 healed things he would go through like They called 00:48:55.000 --> 00:48:57.679 it shadow work and like, you know getting to 00:48:57.679 --> 00:49:00.119 the root But the interesting thing is when I 00:49:00.119 --> 00:49:02.340 look back you were just band -aiding things You 00:49:02.340 --> 00:49:04.300 were just learning different ways to cope and 00:49:04.300 --> 00:49:07.800 deflect and detach. It's Jesus who heals. It's 00:49:07.800 --> 00:49:11.000 his blood We need Jesus. Jesus is the root of 00:49:11.000 --> 00:49:15.019 everything and a new age Jesus ain't there He's 00:49:15.019 --> 00:49:17.780 not the Savior. He's not the the Alpha and the 00:49:17.780 --> 00:49:21.440 Omega And there were things that the Lord was 00:49:21.440 --> 00:49:23.820 calling me to dig up and deal with and I was 00:49:23.820 --> 00:49:26.059 like Lord didn't I heal these years ago and I 00:49:26.059 --> 00:49:29.000 had to reflect I was like, oh I thought like 00:49:29.000 --> 00:49:31.420 I healed him in the new age when I look back 00:49:31.420 --> 00:49:33.059 I realized the new age just taught you kind of 00:49:33.059 --> 00:49:36.059 how to deflect and detach and how to find other 00:49:36.059 --> 00:49:38.639 things to like Take the role of it and you found 00:49:38.639 --> 00:49:42.900 a way to really normalize it For me, what New 00:49:42.900 --> 00:49:45.079 Age taught me how to do was detach and become 00:49:45.079 --> 00:49:49.019 very selfish. Like I was very selfish. I thought 00:49:49.019 --> 00:49:51.039 I learned how to set boundaries, but it wasn't 00:49:51.039 --> 00:49:53.800 actually like healthy boundaries or like Christ 00:49:53.800 --> 00:49:55.920 -like boundaries. It was a thing of I don't like 00:49:55.920 --> 00:49:57.860 that you're cut off. I don't like this, you're 00:49:57.860 --> 00:50:00.539 cut off. This is protecting myself. This is protecting 00:50:00.539 --> 00:50:04.250 my energy is what I would call it. And then, 00:50:04.349 --> 00:50:07.010 when I started really submitting to Christ, I 00:50:07.010 --> 00:50:10.769 was like, oh, I went from a lack of boundaries 00:50:10.769 --> 00:50:12.670 and letting people run all over me to kind of 00:50:12.670 --> 00:50:15.469 selfish and unforgiving. And I started normalizing 00:50:15.469 --> 00:50:18.030 unforgiveness and cut off the second it was something 00:50:18.030 --> 00:50:20.630 I didn't like. And I just kind of substituted 00:50:20.630 --> 00:50:24.489 one thing for another. And now, not only do I 00:50:24.489 --> 00:50:27.630 have to work through selfishness and a way too 00:50:27.630 --> 00:50:30.050 harsh cutoff game and unforgiveness, what... 00:50:30.110 --> 00:50:32.769 once I strip that away I'm gonna have to go back 00:50:32.769 --> 00:50:36.070 and deal with the people -pleasing tendency and 00:50:36.070 --> 00:50:38.949 the lack of boundaries. It's crazy the things 00:50:38.949 --> 00:50:41.869 that we like write off as we healed without Jesus 00:50:41.869 --> 00:50:46.650 and when you sit down with Jesus he really shows 00:50:46.650 --> 00:50:49.130 you not only are those things not healed but 00:50:49.130 --> 00:50:51.510 now you've just developed other coping mechanisms. 00:50:52.989 --> 00:50:55.429 So yeah I encourage you all today like you know 00:50:55.429 --> 00:50:58.559 sit down. reflect on your own life, reflect on 00:50:58.559 --> 00:51:00.679 some of your habits, reflect on the scripture, 00:51:01.280 --> 00:51:05.000 James 5, and ask God to speak to you and ask 00:51:05.000 --> 00:51:07.280 Him like, Lord, what are you wanting to reveal 00:51:07.280 --> 00:51:11.380 to me? What are you wanting me to see? How are 00:51:11.380 --> 00:51:15.780 you calling me to grow? And I encourage you to, 00:51:15.940 --> 00:51:19.519 whatever step He gives you, just obey Him. There 00:51:19.519 --> 00:51:22.000 are too many of us Christians asking why and 00:51:22.000 --> 00:51:24.739 wanting God to spell out everything before we're 00:51:24.739 --> 00:51:27.699 willing to take that step. and that's not faith 00:51:27.699 --> 00:51:33.820 that's not faith faith is trusting him even though 00:51:33.820 --> 00:51:36.800 you can't see everything you can't you don't 00:51:36.800 --> 00:51:38.719 know all the steps you don't know the full outcome 00:51:38.719 --> 00:51:41.860 i'm only here y 'all because of faith steps i 00:51:41.860 --> 00:51:44.000 took there are a lot of things god was just giving 00:51:44.000 --> 00:51:46.500 me one step at a time and after i took that step 00:51:46.500 --> 00:51:49.719 then he would reveal to me the next one and there 00:51:49.719 --> 00:51:52.159 are a lot of people who are refusing to take 00:51:52.159 --> 00:51:54.519 that step of obedience because they can't see 00:51:55.440 --> 00:52:01.639 the whole path and if you're stuck in that headspace 00:52:01.639 --> 00:52:04.900 of just the why why this why that why that and 00:52:04.900 --> 00:52:07.039 if you're refusing to move until God reveals 00:52:07.039 --> 00:52:09.059 it to you you'll end up being stuck your whole 00:52:09.059 --> 00:52:13.059 life stuck in the same cycle stuck in the same 00:52:13.059 --> 00:52:15.039 place and you'll find yourself rejecting God 00:52:15.039 --> 00:52:17.380 one day and saying God didn't do it for me and 00:52:17.380 --> 00:52:19.260 God didn't move there are a lot of people who 00:52:19.260 --> 00:52:23.179 say I tried Jesus but they didn't try actual 00:52:23.179 --> 00:52:26.519 surrender people who say I prayed for it, but 00:52:26.519 --> 00:52:29.539 God didn't show up, but they don't mention the 00:52:29.539 --> 00:52:31.800 fact that they said no to all the steps of obedience 00:52:31.800 --> 00:52:34.800 God called them to take. I shared this on TikTok 00:52:34.800 --> 00:52:38.260 not too long ago, y 'all. My Jonah moment. It 00:52:38.260 --> 00:52:40.699 was years ago. when I was going through like 00:52:40.699 --> 00:52:43.179 a really hard point in life and I didn't know 00:52:43.179 --> 00:52:45.579 the next step to take the next way out and even 00:52:45.579 --> 00:52:47.159 though I was a new age I actually started reading 00:52:47.159 --> 00:52:50.159 my Bible for a short period and kind of seeking 00:52:50.159 --> 00:52:52.400 God and God told me when I asked him what do 00:52:52.400 --> 00:52:55.659 I do he told me to go to a person and ask for 00:52:55.659 --> 00:53:00.280 help and I said no because I felt like that person 00:53:00.280 --> 00:53:02.880 was gonna shame me and I felt like it would be 00:53:02.880 --> 00:53:05.599 humiliating going to that person and I was gonna 00:53:05.599 --> 00:53:07.579 have to admit I was wrong and I was gonna have 00:53:07.579 --> 00:53:10.559 to admit I couldn't do it on my own and I just 00:53:10.559 --> 00:53:12.219 felt like I was gonna have to eat my words and 00:53:12.219 --> 00:53:14.800 I also felt like my flesh was gonna be compromised 00:53:14.800 --> 00:53:17.420 I was like well if I go and that person helps 00:53:17.420 --> 00:53:19.440 me there's gonna be areas in my flesh that they're 00:53:19.440 --> 00:53:21.340 gonna expect me to deny at that time I still 00:53:21.340 --> 00:53:23.400 wanted to smoke every day at that time I still 00:53:23.400 --> 00:53:24.840 wanted to do all that stuff and I was like I 00:53:24.840 --> 00:53:26.840 won't be allowed to do that I won't be allowed 00:53:26.840 --> 00:53:29.510 to do this thing You know at that time I wanted 00:53:29.510 --> 00:53:32.010 to run off and be a terror reader in the new 00:53:32.010 --> 00:53:34.730 age and I was like they won't support that They 00:53:34.730 --> 00:53:41.150 won't support my sin So I told God no And I said 00:53:41.150 --> 00:53:43.469 I'm not gonna do it that way. Give me another 00:53:43.469 --> 00:53:46.070 way anyway, but that God give me another way 00:53:46.070 --> 00:53:49.769 and guess what? He didn't give me another way 00:53:49.769 --> 00:53:54.230 That was his command that was his act of obedience 00:53:54.230 --> 00:53:57.230 he said go to this person you want my help do 00:53:57.230 --> 00:54:02.050 this and I looked at it and said no that's not 00:54:02.050 --> 00:54:04.889 what I want to do and I rejected God's wisdom 00:54:04.889 --> 00:54:10.889 and he allowed me to and I ended up going into 00:54:10.889 --> 00:54:14.289 after that a time of I went through betrayal 00:54:14.289 --> 00:54:16.409 and I went through pain and I went through loss 00:54:16.409 --> 00:54:18.650 and I went through suffering and all these things 00:54:18.650 --> 00:54:20.750 and eventually found my way back to God and when 00:54:20.750 --> 00:54:22.349 I gave my life to him and I said what do I do 00:54:22.349 --> 00:54:24.340 now guess what he told me to do The same thing 00:54:24.340 --> 00:54:26.059 he told me to do a year and a half, two years 00:54:26.059 --> 00:54:28.960 prior. And this time instead of saying no, I 00:54:28.960 --> 00:54:32.780 said, okay, God, your way, not mine. And I later 00:54:32.780 --> 00:54:35.039 on saw how he worked off of it. And I still, 00:54:35.280 --> 00:54:36.840 it was still the same situation. I still had 00:54:36.840 --> 00:54:39.300 to admit I was wrong. I still had to admit all 00:54:39.300 --> 00:54:43.699 these things. I still had to do it. But this 00:54:43.699 --> 00:54:47.380 time my pride was broken down. Our pride and 00:54:47.380 --> 00:54:50.679 our ego and our refusal to see that God's way 00:54:50.679 --> 00:54:54.070 is better will keep us rejecting. God's method 00:54:54.070 --> 00:54:58.829 and it's a very prideful thing for us to think 00:54:58.829 --> 00:55:00.690 oh we'll tell God no I want a better way and 00:55:00.690 --> 00:55:04.449 he'll give us a better way not once have I ever 00:55:04.449 --> 00:55:07.929 asked God for a way give me the step to take 00:55:07.929 --> 00:55:09.869 give me the wisdom and he reveals it to me and 00:55:09.869 --> 00:55:11.750 I have said no I don't want that way revealed 00:55:11.750 --> 00:55:14.670 me something better and he gives me another way 00:55:14.670 --> 00:55:17.730 it's very much you asked for his wisdom take 00:55:17.730 --> 00:55:20.449 his wisdom and if you reject it and you do your 00:55:20.449 --> 00:55:24.340 own thing you end up in the pit you end up in. 00:55:25.619 --> 00:55:31.019 Because that's pride and that's ego. And I believe 00:55:31.019 --> 00:55:32.860 that me sharing this is really helping someone 00:55:32.860 --> 00:55:36.280 today that might like be unable to see that that's 00:55:36.280 --> 00:55:38.760 what they're doing. I pray this helps you. Or 00:55:38.760 --> 00:55:40.539 maybe this is the thing that you've been shameful 00:55:40.539 --> 00:55:43.420 of. Or God has given you an act of obedience 00:55:43.420 --> 00:55:45.820 and you're refusing to take it. Or maybe you're 00:55:45.820 --> 00:55:48.599 angry at God and saying, God won't help me. God 00:55:48.599 --> 00:55:51.300 is intervening. Someone may just need to hear 00:55:51.300 --> 00:55:55.219 this today, but are you rejecting his guidance? 00:55:57.019 --> 00:56:00.900 If you ask God for help you have to do it his 00:56:00.900 --> 00:56:07.039 way Our generation and speaking from experience 00:56:07.039 --> 00:56:09.659 because I'm someone who's in it is so selfish 00:56:10.110 --> 00:56:13.869 like egotistical we I saw this post earlier today 00:56:13.869 --> 00:56:16.889 of like the gospel is really radical to a generation 00:56:16.889 --> 00:56:18.969 who's raised to think that their feelings are 00:56:18.969 --> 00:56:22.030 what matters the most and that they're the smartest 00:56:22.030 --> 00:56:25.969 and they're so perfect and you know they their 00:56:25.969 --> 00:56:28.369 comfortability and their feelings are first before 00:56:28.369 --> 00:56:30.929 everything else God doesn't say that that's not 00:56:30.929 --> 00:56:35.309 biblical your heart is deceptive is what the 00:56:35.309 --> 00:56:41.739 Bible says feelings are fleeting God has a knowledge 00:56:41.739 --> 00:56:45.980 that surpasses us God's ways are above our ways. 00:56:46.119 --> 00:56:50.219 That is biblical So you want God's help you got 00:56:50.219 --> 00:56:54.639 to take God's guidance And God's guidance doesn't 00:56:54.639 --> 00:56:56.719 come with you being able to tweak it and reject 00:56:56.719 --> 00:56:58.960 it you reject God's guidance Okay, but you reject 00:56:58.960 --> 00:57:01.500 God's hand and you can't say God didn't show 00:57:01.500 --> 00:57:03.960 up for me God didn't heal me God didn't help 00:57:03.960 --> 00:57:06.559 me if you're rejecting the methods God is giving 00:57:06.559 --> 00:57:09.400 you I'm speaking from experience. I know what 00:57:09.400 --> 00:57:11.880 it's like and I went through a year and a half 00:57:11.880 --> 00:57:13.579 of a lot of crap I didn't have to go through 00:57:13.579 --> 00:57:15.619 just like Jonah getting thrown off that boat 00:57:15.619 --> 00:57:17.400 in the storm almost dying getting swallowed up 00:57:17.400 --> 00:57:23.500 by a fish Someone may need to hear this today 00:57:23.500 --> 00:57:27.179 like You're getting frustrated with God and you're 00:57:27.179 --> 00:57:29.199 saying he's not showing up, but you're not submitting 00:57:29.199 --> 00:57:32.019 your will to him And if you're refusing to submit 00:57:32.019 --> 00:57:34.760 your will to him, do you really want his help? 00:57:37.739 --> 00:57:41.440 And you cannot be mad at God and saying he's 00:57:41.440 --> 00:57:44.840 not God or he's not true These things aren't 00:57:44.840 --> 00:57:48.059 real if you're not submitting to him. You can't 00:57:48.059 --> 00:57:53.880 have it both ways And I know I'm someone who 00:57:53.880 --> 00:57:56.420 tried to have it both ways most of my life I 00:57:56.420 --> 00:57:58.380 said before I turned a new age. I was like, well, 00:57:58.380 --> 00:58:01.139 I tried church. I tried Jesus It didn't help 00:58:01.139 --> 00:58:03.929 me. I was like, did you really though? Because 00:58:03.929 --> 00:58:05.289 you weren't denying the flesh you were still 00:58:05.289 --> 00:58:07.889 out drinking and partying you were still fornicating 00:58:07.889 --> 00:58:10.050 you were still gossiping You're still cussing. 00:58:10.050 --> 00:58:13.389 You're still moving and unforgiveness You still 00:58:13.389 --> 00:58:17.730 had a lack of boundaries How can you be mad that 00:58:17.730 --> 00:58:19.710 Jesus didn't transform your heart when you didn't 00:58:19.710 --> 00:58:23.110 even give him your heart You said you can have 00:58:23.110 --> 00:58:24.730 this little area of everything else. I'm keeping 00:58:24.730 --> 00:58:28.809 myself. No, you're all in or you're out God does 00:58:28.809 --> 00:58:31.269 he can do hot he can do cold, but if you're lukewarm, 00:58:31.369 --> 00:58:34.980 he'll chew up and spit you out refusing to give 00:58:34.980 --> 00:58:39.119 God your entire heart as one. I feel like we 00:58:39.119 --> 00:58:41.659 just got a little hard here, like a little harsh, 00:58:41.659 --> 00:58:45.760 but someone may be needing to hear it be spoken 00:58:45.760 --> 00:58:52.980 in that way. And y 'all see how God works in 00:58:52.980 --> 00:58:55.739 my life. It is possible to have a season like 00:58:55.739 --> 00:58:58.840 that and to submit your will to God and be at 00:58:58.840 --> 00:59:02.320 the point I'm at. And this is only a year and 00:59:02.320 --> 00:59:05.789 a half later. And God has worked in my life in 00:59:05.789 --> 00:59:10.090 amazing ways a lot of people look for Like the 00:59:10.090 --> 00:59:13.110 majority of my fruit y 'all is how I respond 00:59:13.110 --> 00:59:15.170 and how I react and how I move through life And 00:59:15.170 --> 00:59:17.650 how I perceive things now There are people who 00:59:17.650 --> 00:59:20.449 look at the favor of God or God's hand in their 00:59:20.449 --> 00:59:22.449 life And they believe that it's only able to 00:59:22.449 --> 00:59:27.170 be seen through money through social media influence 00:59:27.170 --> 00:59:28.690 or through relationships and they're like well 00:59:28.690 --> 00:59:31.070 if God's really blessed that person like wouldn't 00:59:31.070 --> 00:59:33.550 they be super rich when they have all this and 00:59:33.550 --> 00:59:36.329 when they have all that I am the first to say 00:59:36.329 --> 00:59:40.349 y 'all the biggest blessings I have seen and 00:59:40.349 --> 00:59:42.190 the things that people notice immediately in 00:59:42.190 --> 00:59:44.750 me that have known me before Christ it's the 00:59:44.750 --> 00:59:47.289 way I respond in the way I react God has made 00:59:47.289 --> 00:59:49.550 me into a completely different person than I 00:59:49.550 --> 00:59:54.940 used to be And look at the Levites, for example. 00:59:55.820 --> 00:59:58.300 There were, you know, all those different tribes, 00:59:58.679 --> 01:00:00.900 once they got to the Promised Land, God gave 01:00:00.900 --> 01:00:05.380 them each a piece of land as a blessing. Which, 01:00:05.400 --> 01:00:06.780 you know, we would see that now as, you know, 01:00:06.800 --> 01:00:09.019 God given a house, God given money, God given 01:00:09.019 --> 01:00:11.519 the influence, God giving those things. They 01:00:11.519 --> 01:00:13.960 each received, but there was one group, the Levites, 01:00:14.320 --> 01:00:16.940 who had a fear of God and a reverence of God. 01:00:16.960 --> 01:00:20.300 At one point in my life, Levi, um who was like 01:00:20.300 --> 01:00:23.039 the beginning of that tribe was known for being 01:00:23.039 --> 01:00:25.340 very zealous and passionate to the point where 01:00:25.340 --> 01:00:30.039 he would spill blood in his anger not really 01:00:30.039 --> 01:00:34.719 the most christ -like person but god took that 01:00:34.719 --> 01:00:37.380 passion and that zeal and when that became a 01:00:37.380 --> 01:00:39.860 passion and the zeal for lord for the lord it 01:00:39.860 --> 01:00:42.579 was turned into a fear and irreverence and they 01:00:42.579 --> 01:00:44.519 were the ones carrying the holy artifacts through 01:00:44.519 --> 01:00:47.929 the river They were the ones who refused to worship 01:00:47.929 --> 01:00:50.309 the golden calf. And they were the ones, the 01:00:50.309 --> 01:00:53.030 Levites, that when God was giving each group, 01:00:53.230 --> 01:00:55.929 each tribe their own land, the Levites, he said, 01:00:56.030 --> 01:00:58.630 your inheritance is me. You guys are going to 01:00:58.630 --> 01:01:00.469 be priests. You guys are going to be teachers. 01:01:00.630 --> 01:01:02.230 You guys are going to be the ones who keep the 01:01:02.230 --> 01:01:05.489 spirit of God alive throughout the land. And 01:01:05.489 --> 01:01:08.210 he gave them 48 different cities spread out throughout 01:01:08.210 --> 01:01:12.010 the land. And they lived off the tithes God provided 01:01:12.010 --> 01:01:16.030 for them. I feel like someone's need to hear 01:01:16.030 --> 01:01:20.670 that today blessing from God isn't just the money 01:01:20.670 --> 01:01:25.610 or the clout or the the attention or the relationship 01:01:25.610 --> 01:01:28.769 Because the devil can give that to you. You see 01:01:28.769 --> 01:01:32.989 a lot of people in Hollywood in LA You have all 01:01:32.989 --> 01:01:35.090 these things who are not submitted to Christ 01:01:35.090 --> 01:01:39.389 Who are demonic who are satanic and that's the 01:01:39.389 --> 01:01:42.809 whole story for another day the devil? Can give 01:01:42.809 --> 01:01:45.409 money to the devil can give fame to someone being 01:01:45.409 --> 01:01:49.369 famous or rich Or having clout is not a sign 01:01:49.369 --> 01:01:52.710 that God is with them Because it's easily a sign 01:01:52.710 --> 01:01:54.929 that the devil is with them too. Will God bless 01:01:54.929 --> 01:01:59.289 people with that? Yes, in order to further his 01:01:59.289 --> 01:02:01.309 kingdom that's something that God can bless you 01:02:01.309 --> 01:02:04.690 with But we're told you shall know them by their 01:02:04.690 --> 01:02:08.389 fruits fruits of the spirit Not by the money 01:02:08.389 --> 01:02:11.329 in their bank account Not by the amount of people 01:02:11.329 --> 01:02:14.269 who say they're a good teacher. Oh, I love that 01:02:14.269 --> 01:02:18.510 word By their fruits the fruits of the spirit 01:02:18.510 --> 01:02:23.610 their peace their love their patience Long -suffering 01:02:23.610 --> 01:02:25.429 patience and long -suffering are the same y 'all. 01:02:25.429 --> 01:02:27.050 Sometimes I call it patience. Sometimes I call 01:02:27.050 --> 01:02:28.750 it long -suffering I've actually had people my 01:02:28.750 --> 01:02:32.150 DM saying that is long suffering It's patience 01:02:32.150 --> 01:02:39.230 We have the fruits of spirit forgiveness These 01:02:39.230 --> 01:02:41.429 are the ways that we'll know that Christ is in 01:02:41.429 --> 01:02:43.710 somebody. These are the ways that we'll know 01:02:43.710 --> 01:02:48.369 that God favors. These are the ways that we'll 01:02:48.369 --> 01:02:51.849 know that someone has God in their lives, that 01:02:51.849 --> 01:02:54.010 someone is submitting their lives to God. We'll 01:02:54.010 --> 01:02:55.829 see these changes in these transformations because 01:02:55.829 --> 01:02:57.710 these are fruits of the spirit, not works of 01:02:57.710 --> 01:03:00.010 the flesh. These aren't things that you produce 01:03:00.010 --> 01:03:01.690 on your own. These are things that are produced 01:03:01.690 --> 01:03:03.510 through having the Holy Spirit present in your 01:03:03.510 --> 01:03:16.159 life. the spirit not of the flesh Yeah, I'll 01:03:16.159 --> 01:03:18.440 say y 'all that that's the first thing I have 01:03:18.440 --> 01:03:20.179 people who point out with me Oh my gosh, you're 01:03:20.179 --> 01:03:23.239 so different in this area You used to not be 01:03:23.239 --> 01:03:25.659 patient like this used to be a crash out used 01:03:25.659 --> 01:03:29.579 to be so unforgiving You used to be so reactive 01:03:29.579 --> 01:03:34.260 You used to be divisive you used to be Now there's 01:03:34.260 --> 01:03:36.960 it's clear the hand of God in my life, and it's 01:03:36.960 --> 01:03:40.539 something I could do for myself So if you're 01:03:40.539 --> 01:03:43.380 refusing to let God do these changes in your 01:03:43.380 --> 01:03:47.119 heart How do you expect him to later on show 01:03:47.119 --> 01:03:52.019 up in these other areas in your life? The changes 01:03:52.019 --> 01:03:55.300 in yourself are where you really see God present 01:03:55.300 --> 01:03:57.320 not the changes in your physical world around 01:03:57.320 --> 01:04:03.440 you May all I I just want to we'll stop here 01:04:03.440 --> 01:04:05.179 for today and I just want to say thank you all 01:04:05.179 --> 01:04:08.260 for listening to this episode and I do ask that 01:04:08.260 --> 01:04:10.119 you hit subscribe wherever it is you're listening 01:04:10.119 --> 01:04:12.440 to this episode share it with people that helps 01:04:12.440 --> 01:04:14.420 get the podcast out there more and leave a review 01:04:14.420 --> 01:04:18.400 you on Spotify on Amazon on Apple it only takes 01:04:18.400 --> 01:04:20.480 a second leave little stars there's little stars 01:04:20.480 --> 01:04:23.139 press the star button you want to leave a comment 01:04:23.139 --> 01:04:25.480 leave a comment it does help kind of push my 01:04:25.480 --> 01:04:27.940 content out there more it only takes a second 01:04:27.940 --> 01:04:30.179 if you're listening to it on YouTube leave a 01:04:30.179 --> 01:04:35.139 comment I will talk to you guys next time. Have 01:04:35.139 --> 01:04:37.119 a blessed week. Bye guys