Hey guys and welcome back to the salt not sweetener
podcast I'm your host Danielle Townsend and today
we are going to discuss Following God making
the choice to follow God And there's a little
bit of twist on this, okay? Because I'm referring
to choosing to follow God after you've already
spent a while following him Sometimes we were
faithful and we've been following God for a while.
We've been glorifying him We see how he's moving
in our lives and then we're faced with a temptation
We're faced with a period of suffering We're
faced with an encouragement to walk away and
we have to make the active choice To continue
to follow God Now I'm gonna share with y 'all
some scriptural I'm gonna share with y 'all just
a little snippet here from the Bible that I've
seen in the book of Rue And I'm also gonna share
with y 'all some personal experience and personal
testimony that I've recently had with this That
you know, I was one of those people who said
I'm never gonna be tempted to walk away Like
I'm never gonna be tempted any of that and lo
and behold I have very well also faced that temptation
during a period of suffering So yeah, let's get
in. Let's get in on this, y 'all. I was recently
reading the book of Ruth, rereading the book
of Ruth, and every time I've read the book of
Ruth in the past, most of the time my mind more
gravitates towards the relationship between Ruth
and Boaz and pulling from that. But that was
not what I was drawn to when I was reading this.
What I was actually drawn to recently when I
was reading this was Ruth's commitment to Naomi.
Which in turn was her commitment to God right
just to give you a little bit of background with
Ruth Ruth is a Moabite. Okay, and with my understanding
of the Moabites they were not just They were
worshiping false gods they they had their own
We'll just say Not everything was very pleasing
to the Lord. Okay, they had their own separate
gods. They had their own thing that they were
doing The Moabites can be traced back to Lot
and his daughters is my understanding as well.
So yeah, Ruth is a Moabite. She is from the land
of Moab. Okay, from the territory of Moab. And
there is this woman named Naomi. Okay, who has
a husband and she has two sons and they go to
stay in the territory of Moab for a while while
there's famine in their own land and While they're
there her two sons they marry two women Okay,
and one of them is Ruth and the other one if
I'm pronouncing her name correctly is Orpah Okay,
and they lived there for about ten years and
Then they died both of the sons Naomi's husband
died so all that was left was Naomi and these
two children these two these two daughter -in
-laws right because her two children died so
her husband dies and both her sons died this
is a woman that has just experienced extreme
loss okay like not only just relation loss, losing
her husband, losing her partner in life, and
then losing both of her sons. We also have to
think she has also lost the husband was like
the leader of the household. He was the one that
was supposed to be bringing in the money. Like
she has lost that as well. Like she has suffered
a lot of loss and then she's left with these
two daughters -in -law. And this is what she
starts to say to these daughters -in -law. Naomi,
we're gonna read in chapter one, verse eight.
Naomi said to them, each of you go back to your
mother's home. May the Lord show kindness to
you as you have shown to the dead and to me.
May the Lord grant each of you rest in the house
of a new husband. She kissed them and they wept
loudly. They said to her, we insist on returning
with you to your people. But Naomi replied, return
home, my daughters. Why do you want to go with
me? Am I able to have any more sons who could
become your husbands? Return home, my daughters.
Go on, for I am too old to have another husband,
even if I were. Even if there was still hope
for me to have a husband tonight and to bear
sons Would you be willing to wait for them to
grow up? Would you restrain yourselves from remarrying?
No my daughters My life is much too bitter for
you to share because the Lord's hand has turned
against me Again, they wept loudly an orphan
kissed her mother -in -law, but Ruth clung to
her Naomi said look your sister -in -law has
gone back to her people and to her gods follow
your sister -in -law. I want to highlight here
where she said she has gone back to her people
and her gods. And by taking context, okay, we're
looking at context clues here. The fact that
she had to go back to her gods means there is
a period where she has left her gods for a while.
Keep in mind these women have married men who
worship the god of Israel. So we can assume that
Ruth and Orpah, during this time of being married
to these men, have left behind their previous
worship of the gods that they worshipped while
they were, you know, just Moabite women, and
have picked up the worshipping of the God of
Israel. And here, Ruth, and here Naomi is telling
Ruth and Orpah, there's nothing left for you
here. You know, there's no point in staying with
me. you guys aren't going to have good lives
at least if you go home you'll have the opportunity
to rebuild lives to get married again to be provided
for to have all these things she's like go back
go back and we see her acknowledging hey ortha
left and she's she's going back to worshiping
her old gods why don't you do that too and let's
look at ruth's response ruth goes on to say don't
plead with me to abandon you or to return and
not follow you. For wherever you go, I will go.
And wherever you live, I will live. Your people
will be my people, and your God will be my God.
Where you die, I will die. And there I will be
buried. May the Lord punish me and do so severely,
if anything but death separates you and me."
And right there, Ruth is making a commitment
to Naomi, saying, my loyalty lies with you. I
am sticking with you." And in swearing her loyalty
to Naomi, she is making a commitment to God and
saying, your people will be my people, your God
will be my God. She is making a commitment right
then and there to the God of Israel that I will
worship you. I will follow you. I will keep your
commandments. I will keep your statues. Her commitment
to Naomi is also a commitment to God. So we can
assume that if Orpah has left her gods temporarily
and was worshipping the God of Israel and going
back to her old gods that Ruth has also for a
time period been worshipping the God of Israel
and she now is having the opportunity and keep
in mind she has just lost a husband. She's lost
a brother -in -law. She's lost a father -in -law.
She she's She has lost that protection that guide
right that her husband is supposed to be She's
probably in such a space of pain right now, too
And she's being told you can leave this you can
go back But she is making the active choice of
no, I'm committing my life to God I'm committing
myself to being grafted in to the people of Israel,
which is actually like a This is like a we're
seeing this before Jesus Christ comes in because
that's what Jesus Christ did too Isn't that when
he came here when? You know the the Jewish community
rejected him the Gentiles we were grafted in
by faith by faith we become God's people we become
Israel right by putting our faith in Jesus Christ
and what he did. We are also new creations in
Christ this is kind of like a pre you can kind
of see like Ruth doing this putting her faith
in the God of Israel she's being grafted in right
this is kind of like a pre situation kind of
like setting the stage almost when you look at
it But this was this was Ruth making that choice
of I'm going to follow you and when we go on
we can see Naomi's kind of bitter All right,
because you can already see from what we've read
where she says like God has You know saying like
it's clear that the Lord's hand is turned against
me Well, it goes on here in verse 20 of chapter
1 where Naomi is saying to the people who are
greeting her saying Can this be Naomi? She's
saying don't call me Naomi. Call me Mara for
the almighty has made me very bitter i went away
full but the lord has brought me back empty why
do you call me naomi since the lord has opposed
me and the almighty has afflicted me you see
here that she has a lot of her bitterness and
she's blaming god for a lot of suffering and
we know that we live in the fallen world and
that the source of like this pain and the suffering
and this loss we we know not to blame god for
that okay god is good and all -encompassing does
he allow things to happen yes and we can't always
explain and fully understand why he allows things
to happen but we have to trust that god is going
to use all things for our good but we can see
here how naomi has some choice words and she's
not exactly speaking positively of god you know
she's actually very bitter and upset she's saying
you know I went away. When I went out of this
land, the land of Moab, I had everything. I had
everything. I was full. But now I'm coming back
to this space and I feel empty. I have had so
much loss and so much suffering. I wonder if
there's some embarrassment she's facing, you
know, when she left. She had everything and now
she's returning and the people who saw her appear
to have everything when she left, when she's
coming back, she looks like she has nothing.
I wonder if there's an embarrassment there and
if there's some bitterness coming out of that
too, right? There can be a lot of different things,
but she's feeling some type of way towards God.
And what's interesting is we see throughout the
book of Ruth, how Ruth's decision to Stay with
Naomi and to commit herself to following God
how that decision is blessed and that's blessed
by Boaz, right? God is really moving through
Boaz You know, she's provided for because Boaz
is basically protecting her He's going out of
his way to make sure that she has everything
that she needs like God is Providing for her
and using Boaz as a vessel So we see that Ruth's
choice to follow God. He is very faithful towards
her but we see that God is also faithful towards
Naomi even after Naomi has all these things to
say and this bitterness in her heart God uses
Ruth to be a blessing to Naomi because all the
things that Naomi is receiving through Boaz we
can imagine her her Naomi living together is
trickling down to Naomi right all the things
that she's gleaning in the field she's bringing
back she's Naomi is being taken care of by God
through Ruth and through Boaz Even though Ruth
had these moments of anger and even though Naomi
had these moments of anger and bitterness God
was still faithful and God still loved her and
God was still showing grace Then this is now
where I'm gonna transition into my personal testimony
with y 'all because it was it wasn't very long
ago I was honestly feeling some type of way towards
God and I didn't think I was able to get to this
point because honestly y 'all I, you know, I
grew, y 'all know my background, grew up in the
church, but I didn't give my life to Christ until
September of 2024. It's now late October of 20
- 25 it's been a little over a year and I have
shared so many times about the amazing things
It's clear that God has moved in my life. The
hand of God has been evident. I have shared miracles
I have shared so much growth. I cannot say that
God has not done anything for me and that be
truth The truth is as God has done miraculous
things in my life and God has been so faithful
And that God has kept many promises That is the
truth And we know from reading the Word of God
different promises. We know God's character when
we read the Bible. That He's faithful. That He
hears the righteous when they cry out. That though
the righteous may fall, He picks them back up.
We see time and time again examples of God's
character. But sometimes we start believing lies
of the enemy. And when we start believing lies
of the enemy, we start to entertain thoughts
and say things that just aren't true. And recently,
y 'all, there have been a couple areas in my
life that I wasn't very happy with. In all honesty,
I started looking at these areas in my life and
I'm like, Like I know you've done a lot for me
already, but shouldn't we be further than where
we're at right now? Like there are some areas
in my life. I was like Haven't I been praying
about this thing to be like improved and Y 'all
when I'm in the headspace. I'm in right now and
I'm looking at it I'm like this is drastically
improved from three months ago And then from
that six months ago way more improved like when
I look at like there has been improvement But
God has been taking it one step at a time slowly
growing slowly developing and there were some
areas where I was like there's just a part of
me that was not satisfied where I was like God
you've given me some big visions like When I
look at what what those areas look like now,
yes God has done exceedingly and abundantly But
he has given me visions of so much more. It's
like when you know that God Intends to do so
much more or there is a capability of it growing
into so much more That like you're looking at
it and you're like, yeah, this is awesome And
this is so much more than I used to have and
this is an answered prayer But it's nowhere near
what i'm expecting it to be one day And y 'all
that started turning into a space of lack for
me Or instead of like being grateful for just
having that and being a good steward over it
and delighting over it. I was like When are we
gonna expand God? When is this gonna grow? When
am I gonna have this promise? And I found myself
starting it turned into when I tell y 'all an
entire day of weeping like I was uncontrollably
ugly crying like y 'all like I was ugly crying
like my mascara was all down my neck like it
was so bad and I since I've followed the Lord.
Since I've committed my life to him last year,
there is only I would say maybe two other instances
that have come to mind when I have gotten to
this point emotionally. And each time I'll say
that like I have seen a move of God in my life.
I have seen him like he has spoken to me. I have
seen things I know that God has heard me when
I was in these moments. And they're not moments
like I'm proud of. but I knew that God heard
me in these moments and I was just crying and
Weeping and I started saying to God how much
longer are you going to make me wait? I Have
been waiting for some of these things years years
Because although I started yet. I committed my
life to God To submit my life to him last year.
There were some things that I have been waiting
since like 2020 2022 2023 When I it was before
I got pushed in before I even got into like new
age before that whole era Era started in my life,
right? There were some things that I believed
were gonna happen in my life. There were some
things I believe and I started waiting on those
things. There are some very big things that have
yet to happen. And I started crying out to God
where I'm like, God, I've been waiting so long.
Where I'm like, how much longer? Because y 'all,
there was a part of me that I was like, quit
stirring up this desire for this thing in me,
God, if I can't have it. like honestly y 'all
that was what I was crying out to God there were
some things that years ago I didn't desire for
myself I didn't want for myself but then God
started stirring up the desire for this thing
in me and he started growing me as a person and
preparing me to be a good steward over it he
gave me the desire and he took me through the
process and I started crying out to God where
it's like You know, recently I felt him really
speaking about these promises to me, saying like,
hey, these are things I have in store for you.
And I start saying but God you you told me that
two months ago, too And you were telling me that
four months ago and six months ago and eight
months ago and a year ago and God I feel like
you remind me of these things and you stir this
desire in me and you get me ready for these things
and I get so excited and then I'm waiting on
you and I'm trying to be obedient and I'm looking
out for what you want me to do and then it doesn't
come and Then there's another lesson And then
there's another period that I have to go through
of growth and of all these things and like I
started crying out to God where I was like take
the desire away from me. I started saying if
I can't have it take this desire away because
it hurts so much to want this thing. Understand
that like I can't do it myself. You're not telling
me to do it myself You're you're giving me the
vision you're placing the desire I mean, but
I understand that it's not something that you
are Calling me to seek myself or build for myself
that in fact like seeking some of these things
myself We're trying to do some these things myself
is very much out of your will. I'm waiting on
you God But I don't see it And that honestly
y 'all was the root of where my discontentment
was really at was I felt like God kept stirring
up desires for promises in my heart and then
I wasn't seeing these desires. I felt like my
life was getting shaken up to test me so I can
learn and be prepared and be a good steward,
glory be to God. I don't want him to give me
anything if I'm not prepared. But I was like,
how much longer? Like how much longer? I started
saying if it's not that I'm not ready if it's
that person or that thing isn't ready remove
the desire and I know God gave me a desire for
the for a reason but y 'all that was what was
going on in my head was I was like This is too
painful to want something and then to be told
But I'm not telling you to go find it or to go
wait I'm just telling you to know that I plan
on giving this to you one day to Prepare and
to believe that I'm gonna do this in your life
and the Lord has you know Showed me multiple
times before that like he'll he'll reveal things
to me and place a desire long before he intends
to bring that up to kind of get you used to the
idea and To get you to start preparing for that
thing and to get you ready for that thing So
like it's like I get his problem. I get the process
and it makes sense But it's painful and it turned
into y 'all honestly me crying and saying god
have i not done i know i'm not perfect but have
i not done all the things that you've called
me to do like there are some painful things there
are things you've called me to let go of that
i didn't want to let go of and i did there are
things that you have called me to say no to when
i didn't want to say no and i said no there are
things that i I waited on when I started saying
this out loud to God, and I'm not proud of this,
y 'all. But I know that there are other people
thinking this and feeling this, and need to hear
that there are other people who love God. And
not to toot my own horn, y 'all, but I believe
I have been pretty faithful up until this point
with following God once I surrendered my life
to him. And I'm telling y 'all that I even hit
this point. As a way to say that there are so
many other people out there right now that may
be hitting this point in their walk with Christ
and telling you all that how you react and If
you choose to go to God or not is so important.
So There's so many people I know they're hitting
this point that may just be embarrassed to confess
it out loud or to say it out loud or may feel
like they're the only person. I'm saying this
out loud today so you know that you're not the
only person, okay? I started saying to God, I
was like, God, you realize I don't have to wait.
And again, y 'all, I'm not proud of saying this
because I know that these thoughts weren't from
God. Because I know the fruits of the spirit
are patience, are self -control, that we are
supposed to wait on God. Jesus is the vine, the
father, the vine dresser. We are not supposed
to do anything apart from him. That is scriptural,
okay? But I started saying, I was like, some
of these things, God, that I'm waiting on, I
have had so many opportunities to not wait. You
know, to give you all an example, with a husband,
I'm waiting for my godly, but I have had a lot
of people in the DMs. I have had a lot of opportunities.
to step out I have had a lot of people from my
past where I'm like god I don't have to be single
I don't have to be like I could pick up I could
say yes to these dates I could respond to these
dms I could be doing but I'm not because I know
this isn't the person that's for me like I know
that these past opportunities isn't who you have
for me which is why I said no is because I know
that you don't you have told me to say no i have
said no out of obedience but i started saying
like i don't have to like i don't have to be
waiting like this i started saying with some
of the other things where i've i've been waiting
on god to open up the door instead of me trying
i started saying i don't have to but i'm going
to tell y 'all what that translates to in all
honesty i don't have to be obedient I can choose
to disobey. That was actually what I was saying.
I was saying that I was upset with the current
outcome of my obedience to God. And I was saying,
I don't have to obey you God. I could step out
and create something for myself. That was what
I was actually saying in my anger. and I felt
justified in my anger but when I looked back
at later I was like all I was really saying was
I'm obeying you God and I don't have to obey
you I could go sideways I could break out and
do what I want to do and like I said y 'all I'm
not proud of that because that's not righteous
okay that's not Christ -like that is not the
mentality that you want to walk in But I know
that there are a lot of other people out there
and I want to tell y 'all what was kind of interesting
of what triggered This is I I was already having
these black feelings, but what started was I
went out shopping for a couple things in all
honesty Now a couple of those things were justified
I was gonna need those things soon, but there
were some other things I bought that I didn't
need to buy And I kind of felt like I was just
spending money to spend money and I didn't need
to be doing that and I felt kind of convicted
with that and when I got home I realized I left
one of those bags behind at the store and you
know how like you're already feeling a lot of
emotions and it's just one inconvenient thing
happens that just causes these emotions to overflow
that was my trigger I started crying where I
was like I went all the way to the store and
got those things and got back and like I left
the bag there And I was telling myself, I'm not
going to go back there and get it. And then later
on, when I realized that one, because at first
I was saying, well, it was a thing I didn't actually
need in that bag and it was only $5. So it's
not worth it. And then I started realizing one
of the things I actually needed was in that bag
I left behind the store. So yeah, I do have to
drive back and get it. And I did drive back and
get it. but that was actually what started it
what started the whole um was something that
I felt convicted about and it felt like something
so small and that's where I started crying out
to God where I was like well it's what started
the whole spiral was me feeling convicted because
I kind of felt like I stepped a little bit out
of obedience of what God was calling me to do
in that time period so at the root of it was
I was dissatisfied because I felt like God wasn't
fulfilling the promises on the timeline that
I set in my mind. In my mind, these promises
should have been delivered on now. In my mind,
if I did all these steps of obedience, I would
have everything already. So like I was I was
putting God on a timeline and I was making his
promises dependent on whether or not I fulfilled
in these areas of obedience. I was making it
workspaced. And yes, we do need to walk in obedience
to see some blessings from the Lord. There are
some things where he's like, hey, if you're not
being obedient to me, how can I bless you with
this? But the Lord has really revealed to me
that in my mind, I started to make these promises
just very well. The second I complete these,
God has a specific list of obedience tasks. And
once I complete these, it's just gonna be here.
And it's God just waiting on my obedience. And
He's been revealing to me, like, I never gave
that. That wasn't the plan. Like, I'm not on
your timeline. Like, I feel like God is really
telling me, like, I will deliver in my timing.
Maybe things aren't ready yet. Maybe you're not
ready yet. Maybe there are other things being
lined up. And I... yesterday was just getting
more and more bitter y 'all and I was just crying
and crying and crying and I started saying out
loud I don't want to read my Bible I don't want
to pray I know I'm supposed to pray right now
I know this is the time I'm supposed to be going
near and I was still talking out loud to God
I was like but I don't want to I don't want to
hear any more of your promises I don't want to
hear how good you are I know you're good and
I know that your goodness isn't dependent on
how I feel and what my life looks like I know
no matter what you're good I was saying all these
truths out loud I was like but it's hard for
me to believe them and I remember I was scrolling
on I started just scrolling to distract myself
and that this time I started recognizing I was
like okay these are not thoughts from God coming
at me because I've shared with you all my sobriety
convictions before I started having thoughts
of like because in the past when I would get
so emotionally overwhelmed and couldn't stop
crying that was when I would just want a glass
of wine and that's where my mind started going
is like maybe I just need a glass of wine like
let's just I just dissociate, detach. And I immediately
caught it. And I was like, that's not a from
God thought. Because I have major sobriety convictions.
And I up until this point have not had that temptation.
So I know that what's going on right now isn't
a from God. This is a spiritual warfare situation.
This is an attack on my faith. This is me believing
lies of the enemy. And it started kind of pulling
me back, right? And then I was scrolling on TikTok
just trying to like get my mind off of things
and there is a video of the sermon and this guy
it started off with saying you're dangerously
close to turning your back on God right now.
And I immediately paused it and that was like
an overwhelming in me of just recognizing I'm
at a pivotal point in my walk with Christ right
now. I'm in all of these emotions. Where am I
about to go? Am I going to turn to God and put
my faith in God? Or am I going to listen to the
temptations and turn away? I've already seen
what life looks like when I walk in disobedience
to the Lord. I've already seen what life looks
like. I've shared that testimony lots of times
when I turned away from God. I have seen. How
sad and unfortunate life is when you feel like
God's hand has been removed from your life I
don't I can't even imagine what eternal separation
hell feels like And I Recognized oh my gosh like
that. This is the pivotal moment. Do I turn to
God? Or do I return to my old idols because that's
when I started looking I was like I all of a
sudden I had thoughts in my head of turning back
to drinking I thoughts of turning back to doom
scrolling I had thoughts of going back to the
dating apps and finding the husband myself, doing
all these, and I started thinking, oh my gosh,
I'm having all these temptations to go back to
my old, in quotation marks, gods, my old idols,
to walk away from serving the god that I have
been serving and go back to serving myself, go
back to serving these gods, go back to serving
these idols. I have a choice right now. Like
what choice am I gonna make and I'm not saying
y 'all that instantly I was like and like an
I'm on fire for God in the best mood ever but
I was kind of pulled out of a funk and I started
getting back. I started reading my Bible. I started
reading the book of Ruth and That was where I
was led and I was able to make those connections
of and I kind of felt relatable to Ruth in that
moment right of like Ruth made that decision
to Follow she was told by Naomi you have no hope
here like there is no life for you here go back
to your old situation and y 'all that was kind
of what the lies from the enemy were telling
me was you've been waiting this long and you
still haven't seen these promises you've been
waiting for a long time you've been faithful
for a long time and like you could have it if
you go back to your old methods if you go back
to your old And I had to make that choice of,
no, I'm going to continue to pray. I'm going
to continue to seek God. And I'm going to continue
to put my faith in Him. I'm going to continue
to put my faith in His promises. And I'll tell
you all that I actually saw some blessings from
God pretty soon after. Like I saw him move in
some pretty awesome ways and when I went back
to that store Just a side note y 'all to get
that bag The same cashier was still at the cash
register and my bag was sitting with a pretty
little Post -it note on it that that was mine
just right there on the desk waiting for me to
come back and get it and It had all my items
and I was prepared to have to show my receipt
and everything But no she remembered me and everything
when I got back in the car remember saying the
God I was like God I know this to me this is
just the fact that it was just sitting up there
and she was smiling and recognized me and here
you go and I was preparing for having to like
show my receipt and explain everything and the
fact that like I was like God thank you I was
just like thank you I know it doesn't look like
a big deal to other people but to me I just kind
of saw your hand in that situation of how it
was just sitting there ready for me to go and
that translates for me a little bit over to the
grace and the faithfulness that he showed Naomi
because as I said y 'all I end up seeing some
real blessings from God later in that day after
you know I was repenting to God and asking for
forgiveness and I've spent some definite time
doing that and I saw that he was still faithful
to me I was like dang God even right after that
whole situation You're giving me some of these
these were amazing blessings community blessings
God expanded my community a Christian community
is wonderful And I was like, yeah, thank you
Lord is actually y 'all what's interesting is
I feel like and I'll share an update with you
later on I know that God's gonna use this to
do more things in my life. Amen Because there
are some more things that he was working on kind
of rewiring in me and healing in me recently,
you know, I've been working on just a thing of
like overcoming fear, overcoming fear of imperfection
and overcoming fear of displeasing God and I've
shared with you all many times over that God
usually exposure therapies me and this was probably
one of the most extreme forms of like imperfection
I've had in a while of you know feeling like
I've been so good in my faith and like praying
to God and taking things to God and then all
of a sudden I have this bitterness and this anger
and I'm saying these things to God um having
these thoughts and I see his grace and his mercy
and his love and his faithfulness shown to me
is actually kind of helping me overcome my fear
of imperfection and helping me to see how God
is loving and he is faithful and he is graceful
and he is forgiving and I was actually reading
some scripture this morning in regards to like
repenting it was in Psalm I believe it was Psalm
32 I read on TikTok today which was um just about
asking God for forgiveness and how he forgives
his people and I really need to hear that and
you know that I want to speak that to you today
that when you repent and when you cry out to
God and ask him for forgiveness he forgives you
y 'all it was the same day that I saw him bless
me and move in my life and I really honestly
needed to see that I've been praying to God recently
of God, let me see your grace. Let me see your
love. Let me see your hand in my life. And that
was, I think, the way God knows how we need to
see Him. And I needed to see His forgiving side.
And I feel like I needed to go through that experience
of being forgiven again and seeing love in a
time when maybe I didn't deserve all the love
and the grace that He's shown me. just keep in
mind y 'all he didn't i didn't have to go through
and do all these reparations and everything for
him to bless me first i literally just recognized
and repented and like i saw his hand in my life
immediately and it wasn't even like a big huge
prayer sitting down repenting like i end up i
prayed about it more later on it was more of
a just like oh gosh i was wrong and i i started
just kind of getting in my bible again and my
heart placement kind of shifting And God was
ready with open arms. It reminds me of the prodigal
son. Ready for you to come home. I was only drifting
away for a couple hours, but man, those were
some heavy hours. And I hope this helps you today
listening to this. Because like I said, y 'all
have seen my walk. Especially here on the podcast,
I'm glorifying God. I'm talking about... all
these things he's done in my life. And yet when
I was in that bad head space, I started believing
the lies of the enemy. And I started saying some
things to God that I know aren't true. But he
still showed me mercy. He still showed me forgiveness.
And he's still allowing me to speak to y 'all
today. Amen. He's still allowing me to record
this podcast episode today. Glory be to God.
Amen. and not that I'm deserving, not that I'm
worthy, that glory be to God. You know, recently
I've been seeing everywhere, people have been
saying it in conversation, there's been so many
things of God gives and God can take away. Just
as quickly as he gives, he can take it away,
and I feel like I had that underlying fear a
lot recently of like if I take a foot out of
line, God's gonna rip it all away. And even though
like I know that's not what he's doing, that's
what the fear says to me. And I feel like I really
needed this with God today, or recently, y 'all.
It wasn't today that it happened, but it was
very recent. Whereas like I kind of needed that
moment of I've been walking with God, and I took
a foot out of line, a big step. And He didn't
rip it all away. He didn't condemn me. He forgave
me. And He showed me love and faithfulness. And
he still showed me blessing. I've talked to you
all before about my exposure therapy when it
comes to how God heals things in me and I feel
like this was an exposure therapy moment that
was very much needed. And I thank God for it.
I know I'll be stronger for it. And I know there's
even more that there's gonna be for me to reflect
on and take out of this. And I pray that this
helps you all today. And I do encourage you,
go read. the book of ruth there's not many chapters
it's a pretty short book it's a really good book
i remember that god's word is a living word so
every time you read it there's going to be something
new that stands out just like how i told you
the past couple times when i was reading the
book of ruth i always focused more on ruth and
boaz and her you know Just doing what she's needing
to do and taking one step at a time and allowing
God to align things and place you where you need
to be and that was what I always took out of
it and this time I'm reading it and I'm throwing
that stuff to the wayside instead I'm paying
attention to how she chose to follow God when
given the opportunity to walk away and that's
what stood out to me this time and this was y
'all I felt a little bit like Ruth once I started
reading that I was like dang Naomi was saying,
you have nothing here, go back. I was getting
the same whispers. And this is my encouragement
to y 'all today. Make the choice to follow God
anyway. You know the truth of God. You know who
God is, what his character is, you know his promises.
Don't let what your circumstances look like or
what you're feeling in the moment be taken as
truth. Our feelings are not true. Should we pay
attention to our feelings? Like... Reflect on
them and look at hey, where are these coming
from? Sure. That's a good thing to do But we
should not take our feelings as truth. We shouldn't
take our fears as truth. We shouldn't take our
anxieties as truth Faith isn't certainty Okay,
when you're walking by faith, you're not walking
by certainty and saying well everything around
me looks like what God says So that's no Faith
is believing but not seeing it It's trusting
in what God says even if your surroundings don't
look like it. Okay? And I'm gonna tell y 'all
right now, my surroundings don't always look
like the promises of God. But I can tell you
right now that every time my surroundings have
not looked like what he said, they turned into
what he said. Okay? I can tell y 'all right now
that the leading up to God delivering on a breakthrough,
delivering on a blessing, it sometimes actually
looks the opposite. If y 'all remember that testimony
I've shared with you before of how I had financial
breakthrough that moved me back from California
back to Indiana, the weeks leading up to that,
the months leading up to that did not look like
I was about to seek God's hand over my life.
If anything, it looked like a lot of things were
being removed. It looked like I was having to
surrender a lot of things. A lot of things were
being shaken up. And if I put faith in what my
surroundings looked like over what God said,
I wouldn't have had a lot of faith, okay? But
God opened up doors out of nowhere. I had no
idea that he was coming in the way that he was
gonna come in, okay? So I'm telling y 'all right
now, walking by faith isn't walking by certainty.
Walking by faith is not walking by sight walking
by faith is trusting in the word of the Lord
over what your surroundings say Now I'm gonna
end the podcast here and I pray that y 'all have
a wonderful week and that this episode has blessed
you and helped you in some way and I do ask that
you hit the subscribe button wherever it is you're
listening to this podcast and share it share
it with your friend share it with your family
member share it on your social media share it
with your group chat share this podcast it really
helps have a wonderful week guys god bless