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Hey guys and welcome back to the salt not sweetener

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podcast. I'm your host Danielle Townsend and

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Today's episode is one that I felt called to

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record for a while now Actually, I tried to record

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something similar to this Friday and after recording

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it I felt called to delete it But it wasn't what

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the Lord was calling me to talk about in depth

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You know, it was a little bit but it wasn't nearly

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What he is now placed on my spirit and in this

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morning's sermon at church You know, I was honestly

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weeping My whole church service today. We went

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over today Chapter 11 in the book of John where

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it was about the raising of Lazarus and today

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was just such an emotional day and the service

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You know this worship songs that we were singing

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had me weeping so heavily as I was giving all

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the glory to the Lord of who I am today and what

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he has done in my life and that feels like the

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past that's been a real common theme the past

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week is just having real opportunities to glorify

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God and to be completely open honest that I would

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not be where I'm at today I would not be who

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I am if it weren't for the Heavenly Father if

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it weren't for Jesus Christ working in my life

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When I submitted and surrendered my life to him,

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I did a 180, who I was as a person. Like my heart,

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the desires, my coping mechanisms, so much about

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me radically shifted because of him, which in

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turn radically shifted my life. You know, I'm

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not where I'm at today because I was the same

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person. Like, Jesus, everything I have today

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is because of the Lord. And I feel like what

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I'm about to share with y 'all today is gonna

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be freeing for me. Because this is something

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I've been, you know, really keeping in the past

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year. I've shared different areas of what God

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has done in my life, but I haven't shared this

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promise in my life that He fulfilled. That gave

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me so much hope. And I know that it's going to

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be freeing for me. I know it's gonna be inspiring

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for other people. This is gonna... breathe life

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into some people's situation. This is going to

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give them hope. I know that God is going to work

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in miraculous ways through this testimony today.

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And I just want to start by glorifying God and

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saying that he is so good and that every ounce

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of the being of who I am today is because of

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him. Every good thing that I have in my life

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today is because of him. the protection that

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i have today is because of him the healing that

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has been done in my life is because of him the

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restoration is because of him none of this is

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me none of this is my own work do i obey god

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yes but it's him guiding me it's him giving me

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the instruction you know today when we were we

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were singing this worship song in church where

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i believe and what's interesting is um this was

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the song that was playing on my playlist on the

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car on the drive to church was like all hail

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king jesus all hail the lord of heaven and earth

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um and then we got into and he brought me back

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to life the enemy thought he had me but jesus

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said you are mine and that song i remember hearing

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that When I gave my life to Christ I remember

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around that time period when I would open up

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my social media because I started looking at

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more Christian content that that song and seeing

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people's transformations and Wondering like is

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Jesus gonna be able to do that for me Like is

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he gonna be able to change me? Like am I one

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day gonna say that the enemy thought he had me

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but Jesus said you are mine and today I'm sharing

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with y 'all the testimony of how the enemy thought

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he had me But when Jesus decided, when Jesus,

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when I submitted my life to Him, He took me away

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from the enemy. The enemy thought He had me.

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The enemy thought He had me pulled away from

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Jesus. The enemy thought that He had me cornered.

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The enemy thought that He was gonna have my soul,

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that He was gonna have my spirit, that He was

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gonna have my eternal life ripped away from Heavenly

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Father. But when I put my faith in Jesus, The

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plots of the enemy came crashing down and I want

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to start today with sharing with y 'all the promise

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That Jesus gave me That gave me hope Now my conversion

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y 'all who was very interesting because you know

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a bit of background I was raised going to church.

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I was raised. I'm going to church from my grandma

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I was Roman Catholic, but I didn't believe surrender

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my life to Christ and you could see by how I

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was living my life I was willingly sinning, I

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was freely sinning. I was giving into envy, I

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was giving into jealousy, I was giving into greed,

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I was giving into lust. I was making an idol

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out of positions, out of popularity, out of job

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titles. I looked like the world. It's not a compliment

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when I look back. I used to take as a compliment

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when people would say, I didn't know you'd go

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to church. And I'd be like, ugh. That's because,

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you know, like, I get along with both sides.

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I'm, like, not judgmental. When I look back now,

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it's like, no, it's because I wasn't living my

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life set apart. There was nothing about me besides

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going to church Sunday that told you that I was,

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I'm putting in quotation marks, Christian slash

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Catholic. I wasn't denying myself. I was still

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drinking and turning up, partying with people,

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making jokes at other people's expenses, gossiping,

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like, not showing that, you know, I wasn't forgiving.

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70 times 7, I wasn't continuing to forgive, I

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was taking revenge in my own hands, all of these

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different things, every little aspect. The fact

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that when I was in times of distress, when I

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needed comfort, when I needed things, I turned

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to worldly things, whether that be substances,

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whether that be relationships, whether that be

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binge watching TV shows and doing all these things,

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I was turning to all of these worldly things

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instead of turning to Jesus. When I needed guidance,

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where was I turning? Not Jesus. When I needed

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hope, where was I turning? Not Jesus. And then

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y 'all know that when I got older, I turned to

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New Age spirituality and I was a tarot card reader.

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And I was exploring New Age spirituality. I was

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very, very much, and I have not talked about

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publicly to this extent, I was very much interested

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in paganism. At that point y 'all I had done

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a lot of my research I could tell you a lot of

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things about Greek mythology about Norse mythology

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and I've shared on here before about you know

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how I one time I was meditating and I had a very

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intense vision of an angel that you actually

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is described in the book of Ezekiel with all

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the different eyeballs and everything like that

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and I You know had admitted that I was interested

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in other religions. I've shared that before and

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that was a really crazy experience and then it

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was after that that When I look back, I feel

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like I noticed kind of the protection and the

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favor of the Lord kind of leaves my life When

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I look back, he didn't actually leave me, but

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he turned me over to the consequences of my sin

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He turned me over to the things that I was turning

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away from him for and I just remember when I

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started picking up my Bible and I started reading

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it I started, you know, I was starting in Genesis

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and everything, but then I was just reading to

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read. It was filling up my time of boredom. So

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at that point I wasn't able to be on my phone

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a lot. And I remember reading the book of Ezekiel

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and for the first time in my life feeling utmost

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conviction. Because in the book of Ezekiel, like

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he is calling out the idolaters. He's calling

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out the diviners. He's calling out the witches.

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I remember Reading where it was like woe to those

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who sew magic bands around their wrists and veil

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their heads and protection I I felt so convicted

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because that's what I did in New Age spirituality

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especially when you got into like tarot card

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reading and divination always things you were

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taught to like wear bales as like a source of

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protection and you're all the sudden wearing

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crystal jewelry on your wrists as protection

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or charms or different things like that. And

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I just felt the utmost conviction of what God

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was condemning thousands of years ago is living

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and breathing today. And I've become a part of

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that. I was looking at my wrists and seeing the

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evil eye bracelets that I had on. And I felt

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such conviction of he's talking about me. And

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when he started going to the you know those who

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prophesy out of their own hearts those who haven't

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hurt Aren't hearing from the Lord but claim to

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be hearing from the Lord He was going into diviners

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because we know that if you are not Submitted

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to the Lord if you are not getting we know that

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when you are getting prophetic words from channeled

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I'm doing quotation marks right now y 'all the

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channeled messages that people get from spirit

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guides from deities The tarot readings the oracle

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readings the mediumship the source that they're

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getting from is not God. So those are false divination

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Those are false prophecies because the only one

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who knows all is the Lord You're getting fed

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by monitoring spirits. So I felt the utmost conviction

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listening to that. Oh My gosh, you're talking

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to me Lord And they started referring to idols

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in the book of Ezekiel. When he was showing Ezekiel

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that there were people who had their back turned

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to the temple, had their back turned on God and

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were facing the sun and worshipping the sun.

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I saw there that they were worshipping the creation

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over the Creator. and i started thinking every

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time in new age spirituality i was told to to

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align with moon cycles and i was told to charge

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crystals in the moonlight when i was looking

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to horoscopes looking to the stars which are

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the creation and trusting in what i believe the

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stars to be telling me When I was trusting on

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what the natal charts were telling me, it clicked

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for me that oh my gosh I am worshipping the creation

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instead of the creator. God gave us all of these

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different things, but we have put these into

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positions that they should not be in. Idols such

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as money. When you turn your back on what you

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know the Lord has called you to do, to elevate

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that thing, to secure that thing, I thought of

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how many times had I gotten myself in this position

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of I went against what I knew. The word of the

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Lord said, I went against these things because

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I felt like it would elevate me in some way.

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Yeah, I know God called me not to do that or

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to do this, but there's money involved and I

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need the money. So I'm going to do it anyway.

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When God would call me not to be a gossip or

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not to participate in any of that, I knew that

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maybe it would get me in better standing with

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a person. Or make a situation more comfortable

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to just feed into just given I thought of how

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many times I elevated people pleasing How much

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being liked became an idol above what the Lord

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called me and do how many times I watered down

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what the Lord called me to say I started feeling

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conviction on conviction on conviction and there

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was an overwhelming flood of me For the first

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time in my life where I was like God I'm a sinner

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and it doesn't matter why I did these things.

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I can't defend these sins Like it doesn't matter

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what traumas what pains what? Justifications

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I used in the past to do these things I recognize

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now that none of that matters because at the

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end of the day It doesn't matter my reasoning

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why I'm doing this at the end of the day this

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all the sin is doing is producing spiritual death

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and pain and suffering and it's creating an open

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door for the devil to Run rampant in my life

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at that point my life the weapons that formed

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against me seem to be prospering my enemy the

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devil seemed to be winning over me in life I

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knew that I had spiritual attacks coming at me

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and it felt like no matter what I was doing to

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protect myself it just kept hitting and hitting

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and hitting and although like I had hoped to

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keep moving forward I was like what is going

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on here like I've put on these veils I put on

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these bracelets I've done all these things yet

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the enemy is still moving and that was the first

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time I really understood in my life that it's

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like, true protection comes from the blood of

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Jesus, not these things. These things aren't

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gonna protect me. These things are open doors

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for the enemy because I'm putting my faith in

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these things instead of Jesus. And for the first

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time in my life, I realized I was like, I have

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been doing all of the wrong things to try to

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help myself. and in this like I have turned my

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back on the Lord and I felt so grieved and it

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started to hit me in all the ways that I was

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unhealed of all the ways that the enemy the devil

00:13:55.220 --> 00:13:58.500
had been able to manipulate me all the ways that

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he had been able to deceive me because of so

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many weak points in my armor and there was an

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overwhelm of when I started realizing I Cannot

00:14:11.529 --> 00:14:15.169
get out of like at this point my life had gone

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to a point of no return. My reputation was down

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the drain I had no friends. I talked to I had

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no family. I talked to I had no money I had nothing

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to my name. Like when I look around like it was

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the most lack and famine and drought in every

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area of my life that I had ever been in before

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and I was like God money isn't gonna fix this

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Like if someone dropped a million dollars and

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today sure it might get me out of this situation,

00:14:44.230 --> 00:14:47.090
but it's not gonna fix my connections It's not

00:14:47.090 --> 00:14:48.870
gonna fix my reputation. It's not gonna change

00:14:48.870 --> 00:14:51.250
my habits at that time. I kept going back to

00:14:51.250 --> 00:14:57.850
marijuana and alcohol I Was I was investing in

00:14:57.850 --> 00:14:59.789
things I thought looked good to other people

00:14:59.789 --> 00:15:03.629
like I was like even if money came in that doesn't

00:15:03.629 --> 00:15:07.070
change my habits That doesn't change my spending

00:15:07.070 --> 00:15:10.600
spree that doesn't change how I perceive myself

00:15:10.600 --> 00:15:12.940
in the world, so all this money's gonna do is

00:15:12.940 --> 00:15:17.259
feed more problems. More money, more problems.

00:15:17.620 --> 00:15:19.179
I was like, so it doesn't matter how much money

00:15:19.179 --> 00:15:21.200
came in. I started thinking, it doesn't matter

00:15:21.200 --> 00:15:24.259
if a partner, someone who loved me and came in

00:15:24.259 --> 00:15:25.840
and told me all the things I wanted to say came

00:15:25.840 --> 00:15:28.720
in. Because there were still insecurities. There

00:15:28.720 --> 00:15:34.379
were still unhealed things. I started to realize

00:15:34.379 --> 00:15:36.700
that it doesn't matter what I tried to do for

00:15:36.700 --> 00:15:39.820
myself or what human... came in trying to do

00:15:39.820 --> 00:15:45.820
things, it was not going to restore. And I recognized

00:15:45.820 --> 00:15:48.299
that the only person who could do that for me

00:15:48.299 --> 00:15:53.399
was Jesus Christ. Like there was an overwhelm

00:15:53.399 --> 00:15:57.759
in me of like, Jesus is the way, Jesus is the

00:15:57.759 --> 00:16:03.200
truth, Jesus is the way. Like that was the first

00:16:03.200 --> 00:16:06.480
like full recognition of it doesn't matter what

00:16:06.480 --> 00:16:14.779
I do. Jesus is the only answer And as I was reading

00:16:14.779 --> 00:16:18.700
and I you know, I was praying very heavily At

00:16:18.700 --> 00:16:22.820
this time I was praying I didn't I wasn't very

00:16:22.820 --> 00:16:26.919
used to just doing like free like freestyle in

00:16:26.919 --> 00:16:29.000
prayers is what they kind of call it now where

00:16:29.000 --> 00:16:30.980
you're just speaking to Lord what was on your

00:16:30.980 --> 00:16:34.059
heart. I knew very ingrained in me like the Our

00:16:34.059 --> 00:16:36.059
Father prayer and like the Hail Mary prayer so

00:16:36.059 --> 00:16:38.320
I started gravitating towards that and I just

00:16:38.320 --> 00:16:40.840
started praying the Rosary and praying the Our

00:16:40.840 --> 00:16:46.960
Father very heavy and I was spending at this

00:16:46.960 --> 00:16:49.740
point like 12 -14 hours a day just in the scripture

00:16:49.740 --> 00:16:54.230
and reflecting on it. And once I felt those convictions

00:16:54.230 --> 00:16:56.149
at this point in my life what was interesting

00:16:56.149 --> 00:16:58.029
is I had already stopped reading tarot cards

00:16:58.029 --> 00:17:01.110
for other people I had felt a conviction and

00:17:01.110 --> 00:17:03.110
I'd recognize that that was not what I was supposed

00:17:03.110 --> 00:17:08.349
to do. I stopped doing that completely But I

00:17:08.349 --> 00:17:11.029
had still kept them around me and I was occasionally

00:17:11.029 --> 00:17:14.049
doing them for myself Because what was interesting

00:17:14.049 --> 00:17:16.170
is tarot became a thing for me when I was bored

00:17:16.170 --> 00:17:18.309
too when I was bored I would pick up the cards

00:17:18.309 --> 00:17:23.470
if I had nothing else to do so it actually kind

00:17:23.470 --> 00:17:26.250
of took the place of like marijuana and alcohol

00:17:26.250 --> 00:17:28.269
because marijuana and alcohol for me for the

00:17:28.269 --> 00:17:30.470
longest time was like a detachment and it would

00:17:30.470 --> 00:17:32.650
put me in another headspace and get me to like

00:17:32.650 --> 00:17:35.450
you know I can focus on other things and for

00:17:35.450 --> 00:17:37.309
me that's kind of what the tarot cards became

00:17:37.309 --> 00:17:40.230
is it became like an escape from reality where

00:17:40.230 --> 00:17:43.289
I could look at those and you know come up with

00:17:43.289 --> 00:17:45.349
things out of those and make a world out of those

00:17:45.349 --> 00:17:50.460
and everything like that and So I was kind of

00:17:50.460 --> 00:17:53.740
fighting another addiction with that too, you

00:17:53.740 --> 00:17:55.759
know, because I've openly admitted in past podcast

00:17:55.759 --> 00:17:59.319
episodes I was addicted to the escape that substances

00:17:59.319 --> 00:18:04.200
gave me that marijuana and alcohol gave me And

00:18:04.200 --> 00:18:06.220
I've also talked about how Jesus Christ became

00:18:06.220 --> 00:18:08.779
the substitute for that like Jesus Christ Not

00:18:08.779 --> 00:18:11.299
like like when he told me to give those things

00:18:11.299 --> 00:18:13.099
up He said you will never need those things again

00:18:13.099 --> 00:18:16.329
if you continue to come to me And I did and he

00:18:16.329 --> 00:18:18.269
replaces things and I see now that he is the

00:18:18.269 --> 00:18:20.750
source of all good and that he is a deep well

00:18:20.750 --> 00:18:25.730
And that my living water comes from him But I

00:18:25.730 --> 00:18:27.769
felt this overwhelming conviction because you

00:18:27.769 --> 00:18:30.410
know, I started recognizing not only am I hurting

00:18:30.410 --> 00:18:32.990
myself I'm hurting all these other people when

00:18:32.990 --> 00:18:35.650
I read tarot cards for them each one of these

00:18:35.650 --> 00:18:37.750
people I was allowing them to put their faith

00:18:37.750 --> 00:18:39.549
in something outside the Lord. I was not pointing

00:18:39.549 --> 00:18:45.460
them back To the Savior to Jesus Christ was pointing

00:18:45.460 --> 00:18:49.539
them every other direction no matter how much

00:18:49.539 --> 00:18:53.680
good advice I felt like I was giving and I'll

00:18:53.680 --> 00:18:57.299
tell y 'all I I honestly believe I believe that

00:18:57.299 --> 00:19:00.700
I was tapped into something like I Truly believed

00:19:00.700 --> 00:19:04.279
when I was doing this that I was able to tell

00:19:04.279 --> 00:19:07.019
these people What was gonna happen to them in

00:19:07.019 --> 00:19:10.619
the future? But I had some supernatural inside

00:19:10.619 --> 00:19:15.299
look like I didn't believe I was creating separation

00:19:15.299 --> 00:19:18.960
for people like Ible. And now that the Lord has

00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:20.819
really revealed things to me, I see that what

00:19:20.819 --> 00:19:22.779
I thought I was tapping into was just demonic.

00:19:23.299 --> 00:19:25.440
I was talking to demonic monitoring spirits.

00:19:25.940 --> 00:19:27.900
I was talking to demons. I wasn't talking to

00:19:27.900 --> 00:19:30.559
the Lord. This wasn't spirit -filled advice.

00:19:31.000 --> 00:19:32.160
So at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how

00:19:32.160 --> 00:19:34.220
good it sounds to the ears. If it's not pointing

00:19:34.220 --> 00:19:37.119
them back to the Lord, it is wicked. And I recognize

00:19:37.119 --> 00:19:40.730
that. So anyway, and all of these realizations.

00:19:41.710 --> 00:19:44.849
So at this point, when I was feeling convicted

00:19:44.849 --> 00:19:47.089
about this, I had already stopped reading for

00:19:47.089 --> 00:19:49.150
other people. But when I started feeling convicted

00:19:49.150 --> 00:19:51.210
and reading that, that was the conviction for

00:19:51.210 --> 00:19:53.829
me to stop reading for myself. So then I went

00:19:53.829 --> 00:19:55.309
through a time period where those cards were

00:19:55.309 --> 00:19:57.710
just sitting next to me idly for a couple weeks

00:19:57.710 --> 00:19:59.650
until I felt the conviction to throw them away.

00:20:00.630 --> 00:20:03.569
But so now at this time, like I'm feeling so

00:20:03.569 --> 00:20:13.269
heavy. And I'm feeling very guilty and I'm wondering

00:20:13.269 --> 00:20:17.630
like have I gone too far like is Jesus going

00:20:17.630 --> 00:20:21.269
to turn things around for me and I know I'm not

00:20:21.269 --> 00:20:24.089
worthy I'm not deserving like what comes now

00:20:24.089 --> 00:20:26.690
was the more suffering was where my mind was

00:20:26.690 --> 00:20:31.049
was I was like am I about to die of my sin like

00:20:31.049 --> 00:20:35.769
am I like I had a fear and an overwhelm and I

00:20:35.769 --> 00:20:38.829
remember the Lord leading me to scripture and

00:20:38.829 --> 00:20:41.349
it was the one of the first times i truly felt

00:20:41.349 --> 00:20:45.369
like i heard from god in my life and i don't

00:20:45.369 --> 00:20:48.269
know how to explain it but it was like this was

00:20:48.269 --> 00:20:50.109
a word that once it was given to me it doesn't

00:20:50.109 --> 00:20:52.730
matter there there was lots of doubt that tried

00:20:52.730 --> 00:20:55.829
to come in and deception but it couldn't be shaken

00:20:55.829 --> 00:20:59.009
like i knew that this was from god and i remember

00:20:59.009 --> 00:21:01.329
reading in the book of ezekiel where he says

00:21:01.329 --> 00:21:07.109
like i will give you a new heart will give you

00:21:07.109 --> 00:21:10.930
a heart of obedience he like first off he's saying

00:21:10.930 --> 00:21:13.569
I will give I will take out your heart of stone

00:21:13.569 --> 00:21:17.069
and I will give you a heart of flesh and to me

00:21:17.069 --> 00:21:20.509
like I had been so cold -hearted for so long

00:21:20.509 --> 00:21:22.509
I don't know how to explain it but it was like

00:21:22.509 --> 00:21:26.630
I had detached for a very long time where it

00:21:26.630 --> 00:21:29.049
was like I learned how to compartmentalize so

00:21:29.049 --> 00:21:31.390
well that like there is a part of me that could

00:21:31.390 --> 00:21:34.049
kind of turn off empathizing for other people

00:21:34.250 --> 00:21:37.430
and caring about other people and i put myself

00:21:37.430 --> 00:21:42.170
and my survival above all things and honestly

00:21:42.170 --> 00:21:45.730
i had had a heart of stone and i felt the lord

00:21:45.730 --> 00:21:48.890
telling me like i'm gonna give you a heart of

00:21:48.890 --> 00:21:51.309
flesh like you're gonna care about people again

00:21:51.309 --> 00:21:56.170
you're gonna prioritize other people again you're

00:21:56.170 --> 00:21:59.569
gonna love other people again you're gonna overcome

00:21:59.569 --> 00:22:02.009
whatever pain whatever trauma whatever is going

00:22:02.009 --> 00:22:06.339
on Am going to give you a new heart and that

00:22:06.339 --> 00:22:10.880
next one was so big of I will give you a heart

00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:16.720
of obedience and I had never had that I had like

00:22:16.720 --> 00:22:20.799
this natural Instinct to rebel for as long as

00:22:20.799 --> 00:22:24.000
I could remember It was like I naturally I wanted

00:22:24.000 --> 00:22:26.140
to rebel. I want to rebel against the system.

00:22:26.140 --> 00:22:29.000
I want to rebel against the ideals I had so many

00:22:29.000 --> 00:22:34.819
people telling me I was a natural, I always wanted

00:22:34.819 --> 00:22:39.619
to rebel. And I always had to question everything.

00:22:41.579 --> 00:22:46.160
And to be fair, to give myself just a little

00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:48.559
bit of where this came from, I didn't always

00:22:48.559 --> 00:22:51.400
have the most trustworthy people around me. when

00:22:51.400 --> 00:22:53.759
I was younger. When you're around like lots of

00:22:53.759 --> 00:22:56.940
people with addictions, you learn to not be able

00:22:56.940 --> 00:22:59.819
to trust everything around you. Someone says

00:22:59.819 --> 00:23:01.960
they'll do something, they don't do it. Someone

00:23:01.960 --> 00:23:03.940
makes an excuse or something and then you find

00:23:03.940 --> 00:23:07.059
out. There are so many instances and honestly

00:23:07.059 --> 00:23:09.279
I didn't have the most honest friends growing

00:23:09.279 --> 00:23:15.779
up either. Now again, I can't defend my rebellion.

00:23:15.940 --> 00:23:19.500
My rebellion is rebellion. It was rebellion and

00:23:19.500 --> 00:23:22.779
either way it was displeasing to Lord and The

00:23:22.779 --> 00:23:24.599
Lord doesn't say it's a sin except for these

00:23:24.599 --> 00:23:27.740
situations So just telling y 'all how I got there,

00:23:27.740 --> 00:23:30.119
you know when I look back that the rebellion

00:23:30.119 --> 00:23:33.640
I feel was Kind of developed out of that space

00:23:33.640 --> 00:23:37.200
a little bit like a defensive tactic and an independence

00:23:37.200 --> 00:23:40.720
thing And the devil use that the devil use that

00:23:40.720 --> 00:23:45.140
to get me to stray away from the Lord And that

00:23:45.140 --> 00:23:47.700
rebellion, I noticed it in the way I dressed.

00:23:48.259 --> 00:23:50.420
I noticed it in the way I talked. I noticed it

00:23:50.420 --> 00:23:54.480
in the way that I reacted. I could see it in

00:23:54.480 --> 00:23:59.759
every way in my life. But I felt the Lord speaking

00:23:59.759 --> 00:24:03.319
these things to me. And to go on further, I remember

00:24:03.319 --> 00:24:05.519
writing down in my journal so many times over,

00:24:05.799 --> 00:24:07.099
when I was hearing from him as I was writing

00:24:07.099 --> 00:24:08.619
it down, I remember hearing him say, you're not

00:24:08.619 --> 00:24:12.019
gonna look like what you've been through. You're

00:24:12.019 --> 00:24:14.019
gonna come out on the other side of this and

00:24:14.019 --> 00:24:16.519
you're not going to look like what you have been

00:24:16.519 --> 00:24:20.299
through I remember him saying he was going to

00:24:20.299 --> 00:24:24.759
restore everything that I lost Exceedingly and

00:24:24.759 --> 00:24:28.119
abundantly So he made some very big promises

00:24:28.119 --> 00:24:30.339
to me that I was gonna look like a completely

00:24:30.339 --> 00:24:32.160
different person. I was gonna have a new heart

00:24:32.160 --> 00:24:34.339
That when I came out on the other side of this

00:24:34.339 --> 00:24:35.920
I was not gonna look like what I've been through

00:24:35.920 --> 00:24:37.400
You were not gonna be able to look at me and

00:24:37.400 --> 00:24:39.690
tell that I dealt with homelessness that I dealt

00:24:39.690 --> 00:24:42.230
with substances, that I dealt with new age, that

00:24:42.230 --> 00:24:44.990
I dealt with all of these things, that I dealt

00:24:44.990 --> 00:24:48.650
with panic, depression, PTSD, like all of these,

00:24:48.690 --> 00:24:51.890
you're not gonna be able, I'm gonna look so different.

00:24:52.170 --> 00:24:58.269
And these were huge promises. And I just remember

00:24:58.269 --> 00:25:04.150
this like crying of like, thank you, God. Like,

00:25:04.150 --> 00:25:12.769
I believe you. And... Then there came along a

00:25:12.769 --> 00:25:17.549
little bit of a heavy The Lord didn't really

00:25:17.549 --> 00:25:20.369
let me get ahead of myself too much and Because

00:25:20.369 --> 00:25:22.950
I remember after that writing down so many times

00:25:22.950 --> 00:25:25.670
in my journal that but he's not doing this because

00:25:25.670 --> 00:25:28.990
I'm deserving or because I'm better than other

00:25:28.990 --> 00:25:33.700
people like It wasn't that there's some special

00:25:33.700 --> 00:25:37.039
work that I did or some special Prayer that I

00:25:37.039 --> 00:25:39.440
said or that my heart's better than other people's

00:25:39.440 --> 00:25:42.140
hearts the Lord made it very clear to me that

00:25:42.140 --> 00:25:45.759
He was going to turn my pain and my past into

00:25:45.759 --> 00:25:50.180
testimonies that glorify him That my life was

00:25:50.180 --> 00:25:52.940
going to look completely different That everything

00:25:52.940 --> 00:25:54.880
was going to look completely different, but it

00:25:54.880 --> 00:25:57.539
was not going to be for my glory. It was going

00:25:57.539 --> 00:26:05.660
to be for his So that way His glory, his power,

00:26:05.920 --> 00:26:09.559
his grace, his mercy, his ability would be shown

00:26:09.559 --> 00:26:13.740
through what he's done in my life. And the Lord

00:26:13.740 --> 00:26:15.759
made it very clear to me. He's like, you are

00:26:15.759 --> 00:26:18.240
your life. Part of your life is going to be sharing

00:26:18.240 --> 00:26:21.579
these testimonies of what I have done for you.

00:26:22.319 --> 00:26:25.420
Like it was almost like he started revealing

00:26:25.420 --> 00:26:27.559
a little bit of my calling to me in that time

00:26:27.559 --> 00:26:31.890
of like. I am going to do all of these miraculous

00:26:31.890 --> 00:26:36.190
works of you and in your life and at the time

00:26:36.190 --> 00:26:39.089
it felt like a real burden of like and you are

00:26:39.089 --> 00:26:40.750
going to have to share this with people meaning

00:26:40.750 --> 00:26:43.170
you're going to have to share your past and share

00:26:43.170 --> 00:26:45.549
what you've done and share what you've been through

00:26:45.549 --> 00:26:47.869
and share your disobedience you're going to have

00:26:47.869 --> 00:26:50.029
to share all of those things but you're also

00:26:50.029 --> 00:26:53.950
going to be sharing what I have done in your

00:26:53.950 --> 00:26:59.880
life how I have used this Because the the Lord

00:26:59.880 --> 00:27:03.339
went on to it I remember for days y 'all just

00:27:03.339 --> 00:27:05.779
writing this down in my journal and just like

00:27:05.779 --> 00:27:08.880
weeping and feeling so overwhelmed and grateful

00:27:08.880 --> 00:27:11.960
But also burdened because it felt like such like

00:27:11.960 --> 00:27:17.160
a heavy weight to carry at the time Where the

00:27:17.160 --> 00:27:21.019
Lord had made it so clear that You're gonna be

00:27:21.369 --> 00:27:24.990
one day talking to people who are in active rebellion.

00:27:25.349 --> 00:27:28.730
And what happened to you in the past, the famine,

00:27:28.910 --> 00:27:31.529
I went through, the loss, the destruction. I

00:27:31.529 --> 00:27:34.930
see now that those were the Lord turning me over

00:27:34.930 --> 00:27:37.549
to my sin. I can look back now, y 'all, and see

00:27:37.549 --> 00:27:40.470
how many times that God tried to get through

00:27:40.470 --> 00:27:42.910
to me and tried to lead me away from the path

00:27:42.910 --> 00:27:45.369
I was going down. But I had a hardened heart,

00:27:45.730 --> 00:27:48.009
I had a hardened head, and I was in a rebellious

00:27:48.009 --> 00:27:50.779
house. and I was going to continue doing what

00:27:50.779 --> 00:27:54.160
I was going to do and you know I've referred

00:27:54.160 --> 00:27:56.619
to it many times as like my book of Jeremiah

00:27:56.619 --> 00:28:04.339
moment where I was warned time and time again

00:28:04.339 --> 00:28:06.440
and because I wouldn't turn away from those things

00:28:06.440 --> 00:28:09.740
the Lord turned me over to my sin in hopes that

00:28:09.740 --> 00:28:12.259
I would see that I need him and turn back to

00:28:12.259 --> 00:28:16.059
him and the Lord made it very clear to me that

00:28:16.059 --> 00:28:18.880
like You know, my testimonies are going to be

00:28:18.880 --> 00:28:21.460
heard by people who are in active rebellion.

00:28:21.799 --> 00:28:24.000
They're going to be heard by people who have

00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:25.480
hardened hearts, who have hardened heads, and

00:28:25.480 --> 00:28:27.200
not everybody is going to have eyes to see or

00:28:27.200 --> 00:28:29.640
ears to hear. Not everybody is going to want

00:28:29.640 --> 00:28:31.900
to hear what I have to say. So many people are

00:28:31.900 --> 00:28:34.220
going to want to continue defending the sin that

00:28:34.220 --> 00:28:37.299
they're living in. Are going to want to sugarcoat

00:28:37.299 --> 00:28:38.819
it and see it the way that they see it. But the

00:28:38.819 --> 00:28:42.079
Lord, it was like he placed on me so heavy that

00:28:42.079 --> 00:28:45.079
you have to anyway. Like that is going to be

00:28:45.259 --> 00:28:48.539
part of your life is anyway, you are going to

00:28:48.539 --> 00:28:51.980
have to tell other people, I went down that path

00:28:51.980 --> 00:28:56.799
too. I had false idols too. I turned to new age

00:28:56.799 --> 00:29:00.440
too. I turned my back on the Lord too. I turned

00:29:00.440 --> 00:29:04.559
to sexual immorality, to all of these other things.

00:29:05.559 --> 00:29:09.839
And I ignored the Lord. And every time he reached

00:29:09.839 --> 00:29:12.140
out for me, I turned away from him. So eventually

00:29:12.140 --> 00:29:16.059
I saw pain and suffering. because every one of

00:29:16.059 --> 00:29:18.940
these sins was an open door in my life for the

00:29:18.940 --> 00:29:22.740
devil to come in and have legal access to my

00:29:22.740 --> 00:29:27.819
life every tarot card every lie every time i

00:29:27.819 --> 00:29:30.900
gossiped every time i held someone unforgiveness

00:29:30.900 --> 00:29:35.059
every time i was being a drunkard like every

00:29:35.059 --> 00:29:38.160
time i was being envious jealous angry that was

00:29:38.160 --> 00:29:41.500
just a little doorway for the devil to come come

00:29:41.500 --> 00:29:46.059
in and get a foothold in my life to then turn

00:29:46.059 --> 00:29:49.140
into like a stronghold that's really hard to

00:29:49.140 --> 00:29:51.599
break free of and before you know it you're bound

00:29:51.599 --> 00:29:56.039
and I look back and I'm like this is why God

00:29:56.039 --> 00:29:59.200
was warning me away from the sin is because all

00:29:59.200 --> 00:30:01.279
it does it may feel good in the moment but it

00:30:01.279 --> 00:30:06.680
just produces separation in distance not only

00:30:06.680 --> 00:30:09.019
for myself but I'm helping do that for other

00:30:09.019 --> 00:30:19.119
people right so it was all of these I felt like

00:30:19.119 --> 00:30:21.359
a heavy burden of like I know that there are

00:30:21.359 --> 00:30:23.000
going to be so many people who are going to meet

00:30:23.000 --> 00:30:26.279
that with probably hatred and anger because of

00:30:26.279 --> 00:30:30.339
how I felt. Conviction doesn't feel good but

00:30:30.339 --> 00:30:33.680
I felt the Lord tell me that like that past is

00:30:33.680 --> 00:30:35.980
going to be a testimony to those people of if

00:30:35.980 --> 00:30:38.480
you continue down that path what happened to

00:30:38.480 --> 00:30:41.160
me could very much be a possibility for you.

00:30:42.160 --> 00:30:45.019
Turning your back on the Lord to turn to the

00:30:45.019 --> 00:30:48.740
world and the false idols the pain and the suffering

00:30:48.740 --> 00:30:55.460
That can come along with that But I felt the

00:30:55.460 --> 00:30:59.440
Lord also tell me that my Restoration and the

00:30:59.440 --> 00:31:01.720
blessings and the wonderful things that he's

00:31:01.720 --> 00:31:04.480
doing in me and in my life is also going to be

00:31:04.480 --> 00:31:11.319
used as a testimony and as a sign That he would

00:31:11.319 --> 00:31:18.500
use me To tell other people that even though

00:31:18.500 --> 00:31:23.500
I did all of those things When I humbled when

00:31:23.500 --> 00:31:27.440
I when when I was humbled and that such humble

00:31:27.440 --> 00:31:32.740
space and I Submitted and surrendered my life

00:31:32.740 --> 00:31:36.269
to the Lord everything changed because there's

00:31:36.269 --> 00:31:38.250
there's so many people who believe that once

00:31:38.250 --> 00:31:41.390
they commit certain kinds of sins or return to

00:31:41.390 --> 00:31:43.210
certain idols or turn the things that there is

00:31:43.210 --> 00:31:45.450
no coming to Jesus that there is no giving your

00:31:45.450 --> 00:31:48.509
life to Jesus I met so many people while I was

00:31:48.509 --> 00:31:51.190
in new age that were like really deep in occultism

00:31:51.190 --> 00:31:53.710
and indifferent where they believe that you know

00:31:53.710 --> 00:31:56.450
once they Started participating in certain things

00:31:56.450 --> 00:31:59.089
or once they started Because a lot of them will

00:31:59.089 --> 00:32:02.289
have matron or patron, you know committing their

00:32:02.289 --> 00:32:06.450
lives to what they believe are deities They believe

00:32:06.450 --> 00:32:08.869
that there is no coming to Jesus There's no giving

00:32:08.869 --> 00:32:11.109
their life to Jesus and that's a lie straight

00:32:11.109 --> 00:32:14.819
from the pit of hell But you can repent and give

00:32:14.819 --> 00:32:16.619
your life to Christ and he can turn your life

00:32:16.619 --> 00:32:19.200
around 100 % There's so many people who believe

00:32:19.200 --> 00:32:21.720
that once the damage is done the damage is done

00:32:21.720 --> 00:32:24.420
Then the Lord revealed to me that like my life

00:32:24.420 --> 00:32:28.579
was going to be testimony To whoever he he sends

00:32:28.579 --> 00:32:32.900
me to and and life whoever hears these testimonies

00:32:32.900 --> 00:32:39.279
that he can restore exceedingly and abundantly

00:32:39.279 --> 00:32:43.980
Y 'all I have had Connections and relationships.

00:32:43.980 --> 00:32:46.700
I didn't think were ever going to be rebuilt

00:32:46.700 --> 00:32:49.339
because addiction just absolutely destroyed them

00:32:49.339 --> 00:32:52.579
and The Lord has rebuilt them and centered them

00:32:52.579 --> 00:32:58.299
around Christ There might my reputation the high

00:32:58.299 --> 00:33:01.019
thought was never coming back in the Lord has

00:33:01.019 --> 00:33:05.480
done amazing things in that My finances this

00:33:05.480 --> 00:33:08.299
is the I was telling my pastor the other day.

00:33:08.299 --> 00:33:09.940
This is the first time my life my bills are on

00:33:09.940 --> 00:33:15.500
autopay Like he has done exceedingly and abundantly

00:33:15.500 --> 00:33:18.440
my just day -to -day fulfillment. This is the

00:33:18.440 --> 00:33:20.099
first time in my life I haven't needed drugs.

00:33:20.279 --> 00:33:25.019
I haven't needed alcohol. I have Jesus like This

00:33:25.019 --> 00:33:27.200
was the obedient heart that I talked about. He

00:33:27.200 --> 00:33:30.920
was giving me all it was so crazy that like before

00:33:30.920 --> 00:33:35.000
he moved miracles to move me out of The desert

00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:38.150
when I was in Southern, California There were

00:33:38.150 --> 00:33:41.309
so many opportunities like golden opportunities

00:33:41.309 --> 00:33:44.789
for me to backslide I've shared on here before

00:33:44.789 --> 00:33:46.890
that one time when I you know I've been waiting

00:33:46.890 --> 00:33:48.970
I felt the Lord speak life into me that he was

00:33:48.970 --> 00:33:51.069
gonna bring provision for me to move from California

00:33:51.069 --> 00:33:54.690
to Indiana and to wait on him not to try to create

00:33:54.690 --> 00:33:56.769
myself and then all of a sudden this dude pulls

00:33:56.769 --> 00:33:58.710
up and starts offering me all these different

00:33:58.710 --> 00:34:01.289
ways to make quick money and quick cash but every

00:34:01.289 --> 00:34:03.869
single way I'm listening to it These would require

00:34:03.869 --> 00:34:06.569
me to backslide. These would require me to sin.

00:34:06.589 --> 00:34:08.369
They would require me to make compromises. And

00:34:08.369 --> 00:34:09.869
when I kept turning it down, the dude started

00:34:09.869 --> 00:34:12.369
getting really mad and saying, God's not real.

00:34:13.090 --> 00:34:14.989
If you're waiting on some miracle from God, it's

00:34:14.989 --> 00:34:19.170
not going to come like the most deceptive, doubtful

00:34:19.170 --> 00:34:21.190
seeds trying to be planted. But since I stayed

00:34:21.190 --> 00:34:23.429
rooted in the word of the Lord, those things

00:34:23.429 --> 00:34:28.230
could not touch. But I'm telling you, I had every

00:34:28.230 --> 00:34:31.610
option. to disobey what God had already told

00:34:31.610 --> 00:34:35.010
me and in the past I would have taken those options

00:34:35.010 --> 00:34:38.750
just a year before definitely two years before

00:34:38.750 --> 00:34:43.650
I did not have those boundaries I didn't love

00:34:43.650 --> 00:34:45.989
the Lord I didn't have faith in what he said

00:34:45.989 --> 00:34:49.170
so when those things if the climate was right

00:34:49.170 --> 00:34:51.670
because in that time it seemed like the climate

00:34:51.670 --> 00:34:53.510
was kind of right right like all these opportunities

00:34:53.510 --> 00:34:55.469
were coming in and I'm in a really bad financial

00:34:55.469 --> 00:34:58.349
space and it It looks like I'm backed in the

00:34:58.349 --> 00:35:00.550
corner to say yes and all the other times in

00:35:00.550 --> 00:35:02.670
my life I would have and this was the first time

00:35:02.670 --> 00:35:04.369
that I stood on what God told me and I was like

00:35:04.369 --> 00:35:07.690
no I Trust that God will provide a way for me

00:35:07.690 --> 00:35:11.329
and it's not this way This would contradict his

00:35:11.329 --> 00:35:13.730
word. This would require me to send I know this

00:35:13.730 --> 00:35:16.630
is not from God and I'm gonna turn down this

00:35:16.630 --> 00:35:20.789
offer from the devil and Wait on the Lord and

00:35:20.789 --> 00:35:23.650
he provided exceedingly and abundantly and I

00:35:23.650 --> 00:35:27.239
didn't have to send to get it and it became a

00:35:27.239 --> 00:35:32.300
testimony. That was one of the first when I look

00:35:32.300 --> 00:35:36.599
back, really revealing of the obedience. You

00:35:36.599 --> 00:35:39.539
know, when I left tarot card reading, I wasn't

00:35:39.539 --> 00:35:43.739
walking to something. Like, do y 'all understand

00:35:43.739 --> 00:35:46.980
that? Like, I didn't have another source of income.

00:35:47.019 --> 00:35:49.639
I didn't have another space. That was my way

00:35:49.639 --> 00:35:52.659
of, I was making money daily and I was using

00:35:52.659 --> 00:35:56.059
that to eat food. Into like my very daily things.

00:35:56.340 --> 00:35:59.800
I relied on it like daily and the Lord called

00:35:59.800 --> 00:36:04.420
me to stop and There wasn't like a stop and I'll

00:36:04.420 --> 00:36:06.719
give you money. There wasn't a someone else came

00:36:06.719 --> 00:36:12.139
up and gave me money and I could just stop Like

00:36:12.750 --> 00:36:15.309
It wasn't I had a job offer and I was walking

00:36:15.309 --> 00:36:19.010
away from that too. It was I the Lord It was

00:36:19.010 --> 00:36:21.610
leading me to stop reading for other people and

00:36:21.610 --> 00:36:24.550
it was before I even had all the convictions

00:36:24.550 --> 00:36:28.809
That I had but I just knew in my spirit like

00:36:28.809 --> 00:36:31.050
I have to stop doing this. I'm not meant to keep

00:36:31.050 --> 00:36:37.889
doing this and I trusted in that Enough that

00:36:37.889 --> 00:36:43.599
I that was like a leap of faith doll Now at first

00:36:43.599 --> 00:36:46.960
what I was doing was To eat every day. I had

00:36:46.960 --> 00:36:49.460
lots of different like points saved up on like

00:36:49.460 --> 00:36:51.099
apps at different restaurants around me So at

00:36:51.099 --> 00:36:53.119
first I was like, you know ordering and I was

00:36:53.119 --> 00:36:56.219
just eating like one meal a day from those and

00:36:56.219 --> 00:36:58.519
then it kind of turned into I had some stocks

00:36:58.519 --> 00:37:00.880
and it wasn't a lot of money but I was cashing

00:37:00.880 --> 00:37:03.280
those out and I was eating off those and that

00:37:03.280 --> 00:37:06.239
was During that time period when I started reading

00:37:06.239 --> 00:37:09.610
scripture more and feeling convictions And by

00:37:09.610 --> 00:37:11.469
the time the Lord made these promises to me I

00:37:11.469 --> 00:37:14.769
was out of provision when it came to like money

00:37:14.769 --> 00:37:16.869
and food and the Lord actually started leading

00:37:16.869 --> 00:37:19.309
me through intermittent fasting and he would

00:37:19.309 --> 00:37:23.150
randomly send like blessings Where I would eat

00:37:23.150 --> 00:37:26.010
and like food would be provided But I see now

00:37:26.010 --> 00:37:28.710
that these fastings were heavy deliverance for

00:37:28.710 --> 00:37:31.690
me. There was a lot of demonic oppression There's

00:37:31.690 --> 00:37:33.949
a lot of demonic influence going on in my life.

00:37:34.090 --> 00:37:36.789
There was a lot of bondage I was in that the

00:37:36.789 --> 00:37:41.559
Lord was using It was fasting plus prayer and

00:37:41.559 --> 00:37:43.519
being in his word and meditating on the word

00:37:43.519 --> 00:37:46.099
and he used that to break things and give me

00:37:46.099 --> 00:37:48.019
a new heart and I remember every single day multiple

00:37:48.019 --> 00:37:50.619
times a day I was praying to Lord like Lord whatever

00:37:50.619 --> 00:37:52.920
desires that are in my heart that do not align

00:37:52.920 --> 00:37:54.960
with your will whatever is in my heart that is

00:37:54.960 --> 00:37:57.880
not from you remove these desires from my heart

00:37:57.880 --> 00:37:59.880
and replace them with desires that align with

00:37:59.880 --> 00:38:03.219
your will and I believe 100 % that he heard that

00:38:03.219 --> 00:38:06.809
prayer because I see the fruit of it because

00:38:06.809 --> 00:38:09.429
it was once these opportunities to start going

00:38:09.429 --> 00:38:11.289
sideways and doing different things and doing

00:38:11.289 --> 00:38:13.190
them my way started coming and I still chose

00:38:13.190 --> 00:38:17.670
the Lord's way. I still chose the Jesus way.

00:38:19.289 --> 00:38:21.210
I remember once I came back to Indiana and it

00:38:21.210 --> 00:38:23.869
was the first time I had like the ability to

00:38:23.869 --> 00:38:25.989
shop and buy like new clothes and like a new

00:38:25.989 --> 00:38:28.530
wardrobe and I remember when I started buying

00:38:28.530 --> 00:38:30.829
clothes and I was looking the thing that kept

00:38:30.829 --> 00:38:33.500
coming in my mind is Does this glorify God? Like

00:38:33.500 --> 00:38:35.239
I was holding up shirts and holding up pants

00:38:35.239 --> 00:38:37.539
and just thinking, does this glorify God? And

00:38:37.539 --> 00:38:39.179
keep in mind in the past, I wore really tight

00:38:39.179 --> 00:38:40.940
stuff. I wore crop tops. I always wanted to show

00:38:40.940 --> 00:38:43.280
off my body and everything like that. And all

00:38:43.280 --> 00:38:44.699
of a sudden, I was holding up these clothes in

00:38:44.699 --> 00:38:46.940
the store. My first thought was, does this glorify

00:38:46.940 --> 00:38:49.280
God? And my second thought when I started thinking,

00:38:49.900 --> 00:38:51.340
what does that mean exactly? I started thinking,

00:38:51.519 --> 00:38:53.780
well, first off, would I feel comfortable wearing

00:38:53.780 --> 00:38:55.860
this in the church? I was wearing this and someone

00:38:55.860 --> 00:38:58.480
said, let's go to church. Would I be like? Okay,

00:38:58.579 --> 00:39:00.940
I feel comfortable going into the space that

00:39:00.940 --> 00:39:04.659
glorifies God. And all of a sudden, the life

00:39:04.659 --> 00:39:07.860
decisions I was making, I was thinking of God

00:39:07.860 --> 00:39:10.579
before I was thinking of myself. And I had never

00:39:10.579 --> 00:39:13.559
had that in my life. Where before I bought clothes,

00:39:13.619 --> 00:39:16.360
I was thinking, does this glorify God? When I

00:39:16.360 --> 00:39:19.400
started applying for jobs, I was looking at does

00:39:19.400 --> 00:39:22.500
this glorify God? Like there were some job positions

00:39:22.500 --> 00:39:24.280
that were open up, I skipped past because I was

00:39:24.280 --> 00:39:27.590
like, this is a sin. This is something that God

00:39:27.590 --> 00:39:29.409
has convicted me not to participate in. I've

00:39:29.409 --> 00:39:31.710
shared before, I have sobriety convictions. So

00:39:31.710 --> 00:39:33.230
me personally, I'm not going to be working at

00:39:33.230 --> 00:39:35.789
a bar. I'm not going to be working at anywhere

00:39:35.789 --> 00:39:39.369
that really elevates alcohol. That would be a

00:39:39.369 --> 00:39:42.469
temptation for me. In the past, I would have

00:39:42.469 --> 00:39:46.550
just said, money is money. I need a job. I remember

00:39:46.550 --> 00:39:49.349
praying. I had it written down. I prayed it every

00:39:49.349 --> 00:39:51.789
day. That was in my journal. That was, God, I...

00:39:51.880 --> 00:39:54.840
pray that I don't go, I don't want to find comfort

00:39:54.840 --> 00:39:56.960
in spaces that you're not comfortable, like that

00:39:56.960 --> 00:39:59.300
you're not dwelling in. I do not want to be comfortable

00:39:59.300 --> 00:40:02.119
in spaces that you're not dwelling in. I do not

00:40:02.119 --> 00:40:07.599
want to make a home in spaces that I am not meant

00:40:07.599 --> 00:40:10.539
to be in. I prayed, God guide my decisions, guide

00:40:10.539 --> 00:40:14.699
my words, guide my steps, amen. I was praying

00:40:14.699 --> 00:40:18.880
to him. Redirect me if I need redirected like

00:40:18.880 --> 00:40:22.340
I pray that I seek you in every space that I

00:40:22.340 --> 00:40:24.880
walk into But the first thing I think of is is

00:40:24.880 --> 00:40:27.800
God dwelling here Like it is dissipate. Is this

00:40:27.800 --> 00:40:33.739
a place that welcomes the Holy Spirit? And I

00:40:33.739 --> 00:40:35.599
never used to think that the past now when I'm

00:40:35.599 --> 00:40:38.480
like talking to people and I'm like making friends

00:40:38.480 --> 00:40:40.840
and making connections my first thoughts are

00:40:40.840 --> 00:40:43.900
kind of like Is this relationship gonna help

00:40:43.900 --> 00:40:46.860
me grow in my relationship with Christ? Like

00:40:46.860 --> 00:40:49.320
are they gonna be supportive in my walk with

00:40:49.320 --> 00:40:54.260
Christ? Iron sharpens iron and bad company corrupts

00:40:54.260 --> 00:40:56.739
good morals So which are they gonna be like I'm

00:40:56.739 --> 00:40:58.360
looking at for some like are they supportive

00:40:58.360 --> 00:41:00.940
of my relationship with Christ? You know, are

00:41:00.940 --> 00:41:03.960
they going to inspire me to grow in my relationship

00:41:03.960 --> 00:41:06.239
with Christ or are they going to plant seeds

00:41:06.239 --> 00:41:08.900
of doubt? Are they gonna be stumbling blocks?

00:41:08.900 --> 00:41:12.880
Like what am I getting here? And, you know, if

00:41:12.880 --> 00:41:14.460
it's revealed to me that these are stumbling

00:41:14.460 --> 00:41:16.079
blocks, that, you know, these aren't people I'm

00:41:16.079 --> 00:41:18.519
meant to be taking advice with or being very

00:41:18.519 --> 00:41:21.579
close with, I have to release them. And that

00:41:21.579 --> 00:41:23.139
was my big thing. I had such a problem in the

00:41:23.139 --> 00:41:25.059
past. I wanted to hold on to everything and everybody.

00:41:26.739 --> 00:41:28.780
And that was a big change that the Lord made

00:41:28.780 --> 00:41:30.820
in me is when he calls me to release and to let

00:41:30.820 --> 00:41:35.659
go, I release and let it go. And I had never

00:41:35.659 --> 00:41:37.739
had that. And I'm telling you all today that

00:41:37.739 --> 00:41:40.739
none of this was my own strength. This is God

00:41:40.739 --> 00:41:46.139
moving in my life This new heart I I tried therapy

00:41:46.139 --> 00:41:49.460
for years and it didn't fix me I tried every

00:41:49.460 --> 00:41:52.239
type of meditation and inner self -work and all

00:41:52.239 --> 00:41:55.239
that crap and I still ended up with the same

00:41:55.239 --> 00:41:58.380
habits the same thought processes with the same

00:41:58.380 --> 00:42:01.800
heart Jesus tells me he's gonna give me a new

00:42:01.800 --> 00:42:03.960
heart has me lock him with him and all of a sudden

00:42:03.960 --> 00:42:06.659
my heart is literally like radically changed

00:42:07.509 --> 00:42:10.869
It's been a well over a year now y 'all and it

00:42:10.869 --> 00:42:13.349
has just gotten stronger and stronger. I'm just

00:42:13.349 --> 00:42:19.369
seeing it more and more No one but God Could

00:42:19.369 --> 00:42:21.590
have done what he's done in my life. No one but

00:42:21.590 --> 00:42:24.030
God could have brought me the protection That

00:42:24.030 --> 00:42:25.670
has been brought to me because the devil has

00:42:25.670 --> 00:42:30.010
been trying to grab me ever since I left y 'all

00:42:30.010 --> 00:42:35.010
I am NOT kidding when when he came back to town

00:42:35.650 --> 00:42:40.070
I remember going to my priest at the time and

00:42:40.070 --> 00:42:42.369
I remember him telling me he's like you need

00:42:42.369 --> 00:42:44.150
to prepare for the spiritual warfare because

00:42:44.150 --> 00:42:45.869
whether or not you realize that you are a really

00:42:45.869 --> 00:42:48.090
strong foot soldier for the devil you are being

00:42:48.090 --> 00:42:50.769
used by him whether or not you realize it and

00:42:50.769 --> 00:42:54.210
he's not gonna want to let you go easy and I

00:42:54.210 --> 00:42:56.710
had noticed y 'all so many temptations to go

00:42:56.710 --> 00:42:59.610
back to my old ways so many temptations to pick

00:42:59.610 --> 00:43:03.269
up the idols I laid down so many but I had the

00:43:03.269 --> 00:43:06.070
strength to keep going and that strength was

00:43:06.070 --> 00:43:09.989
from the Lord. That wasn't my own strength. There

00:43:09.989 --> 00:43:12.590
were times when I was speaking and just wisdom

00:43:12.590 --> 00:43:14.250
was coming out my mouth. I was like, where did

00:43:14.250 --> 00:43:17.570
that come from? That's not me. And that was God.

00:43:18.190 --> 00:43:21.090
There was bravery and courage that came out of

00:43:21.090 --> 00:43:28.929
me. That was not me. That was God. Like all of

00:43:28.929 --> 00:43:34.980
these things, it was God. It was not me and I

00:43:34.980 --> 00:43:38.639
was weeping y 'all I was weeping so much in the

00:43:38.639 --> 00:43:40.920
church this morning because I was like just praying

00:43:40.920 --> 00:43:45.260
and praying was like God everything I have is

00:43:45.260 --> 00:43:49.159
because of you Help me to elevate you and to

00:43:49.159 --> 00:43:51.940
glorify you more and that's when I felt led to

00:43:51.940 --> 00:43:55.360
record this episode today is Like laying it all

00:43:55.360 --> 00:43:58.019
out of these are the amazing things that happen

00:43:58.019 --> 00:44:02.099
in my life, and it's not me It's God if it was

00:44:02.099 --> 00:44:09.250
me This would not be cultivated I would be right

00:44:09.250 --> 00:44:11.469
back at the same habits. I would be the same

00:44:11.469 --> 00:44:14.829
person I would be same in the same situation

00:44:14.829 --> 00:44:17.849
that I was in over a year ago This was the hand

00:44:17.849 --> 00:44:22.949
of God and this was not me and I recognize You

00:44:22.949 --> 00:44:24.869
know one thing that has been so prevalent to

00:44:24.869 --> 00:44:28.010
me is what God gives God can take when you weren't

00:44:28.010 --> 00:44:31.469
disobedient and Like I am so frequently y 'all

00:44:31.690 --> 00:44:34.530
Because there is a fear of the Lord that has

00:44:34.530 --> 00:44:36.429
been established in me that I have never known

00:44:36.429 --> 00:44:41.269
before Where it's like it's not the fear of the

00:44:41.269 --> 00:44:43.550
Lord like you're you're terrified of him but

00:44:43.550 --> 00:44:46.869
it's like you have a reverence for his power

00:44:46.869 --> 00:44:49.909
and I Understand that everything I have right

00:44:49.909 --> 00:44:53.349
now is not mine. I'm nearly stewarding over it

00:44:53.349 --> 00:44:56.489
like that's why y 'all with this podcast and

00:44:56.489 --> 00:45:00.469
with like my tick -tock you'll see that I I try

00:45:00.469 --> 00:45:04.570
to like Definitely this podcast 100 % all I talk

00:45:04.570 --> 00:45:07.579
about is the Lord. and things that glorify the

00:45:07.579 --> 00:45:09.719
Lord and elevate the Lord. And that's why I try

00:45:09.719 --> 00:45:12.280
to center my TikTok around too. Cause I've actually,

00:45:12.280 --> 00:45:14.059
I've talked about this before and I feel led

00:45:14.059 --> 00:45:16.440
to touch on this again y 'all, that when I gave

00:45:16.440 --> 00:45:19.559
my life to Christ last year, I actually ended

00:45:19.559 --> 00:45:22.460
up going ghost. I stopped posting in like August

00:45:22.460 --> 00:45:25.260
on TikTok and I didn't come back and start posting.

00:45:25.639 --> 00:45:27.500
I think I posted like one or two things maybe

00:45:27.500 --> 00:45:30.179
like in November, but I didn't actually come

00:45:30.179 --> 00:45:32.880
back and be active until like January. and the

00:45:32.880 --> 00:45:34.900
Lord had to really coax me to get back on social

00:45:34.900 --> 00:45:38.000
media. Number one, I had a lot of trauma. In

00:45:38.000 --> 00:45:42.199
all honesty, there was a lot of, I was kind of

00:45:42.199 --> 00:45:44.320
at the hands near the end of my social media.

00:45:44.699 --> 00:45:47.659
There were some people from accounts, they weren't

00:45:47.659 --> 00:45:50.239
using their face. They were like faceless accounts

00:45:50.239 --> 00:45:58.019
that were just not showing me the love of Jesus.

00:45:59.000 --> 00:46:04.079
I'll say it like that. You know, I felt very

00:46:04.079 --> 00:46:09.159
my privacy very violated. I felt very like Who

00:46:09.159 --> 00:46:11.579
I was as a person was being warped and twisted

00:46:11.579 --> 00:46:14.199
and like it was just heavy attacks that I was

00:46:14.199 --> 00:46:17.380
under And when I finally got off social media,

00:46:17.460 --> 00:46:20.159
this was like, okay. This is a Breton. No one's

00:46:20.159 --> 00:46:22.900
watching me No one's filled in on what I'm doing.

00:46:22.940 --> 00:46:25.440
Like I don't think I ever want to get on social

00:46:25.440 --> 00:46:29.599
media again. This is kind of freeing And then

00:46:29.599 --> 00:46:32.519
I also didn't feel worthy or deserving to ever

00:46:32.519 --> 00:46:34.760
like use a platform again because I had used

00:46:34.760 --> 00:46:37.119
it to lead other people astray and because I

00:46:37.119 --> 00:46:40.239
had used it so I had used it when I was in new

00:46:40.239 --> 00:46:42.199
age to lead other people astray with that so

00:46:42.199 --> 00:46:44.820
I felt like well in the past I could not be trusted

00:46:44.820 --> 00:46:48.300
with a platform. You know I don't feel deserving

00:46:48.300 --> 00:46:51.099
of one again and then a third I had recognized

00:46:51.099 --> 00:46:53.500
in the past that like my fulfillment and satisfaction

00:46:53.500 --> 00:46:56.019
came from views and likes and interactions and

00:46:56.019 --> 00:47:01.739
I didn't want to feed that again. but by January

00:47:01.739 --> 00:47:05.000
the Lord had been working on my heart so heavily

00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:08.920
of I gave you testimonies to share you have the

00:47:08.920 --> 00:47:12.940
gift of communication you have a platform and

00:47:12.940 --> 00:47:17.579
you are not using it like I felt the fear of

00:47:17.579 --> 00:47:20.340
the Lord was actually like kind of struck in

00:47:20.340 --> 00:47:22.780
me and that obedience part of me was hit where

00:47:22.780 --> 00:47:25.289
it was like The Lord has given me, you know,

00:47:25.289 --> 00:47:27.750
I got back to Indiana in October of last year.

00:47:27.750 --> 00:47:30.210
It's been over a year where the Lord gave me

00:47:30.210 --> 00:47:33.690
three months to get in a routine, to recoup,

00:47:34.090 --> 00:47:39.030
to reset. But that it was time to start stepping

00:47:39.030 --> 00:47:41.889
into what He restored me for, because He reminded

00:47:41.889 --> 00:47:44.489
me, I didn't restore you to just sit around.

00:47:44.789 --> 00:47:46.929
And yes, I felt the Lord so heavily tell me,

00:47:46.929 --> 00:47:50.269
I want you to delight in me. I want you to enjoy

00:47:50.269 --> 00:47:52.590
your life. I want you to have happy moments.

00:47:53.039 --> 00:47:57.239
I want you to breathe, but I didn't restore you

00:47:57.239 --> 00:48:02.519
for you to just focus on you. I did this so that

00:48:02.519 --> 00:48:04.360
other people may see it and you're not allowing

00:48:04.360 --> 00:48:07.800
other people to see it. And I felt the biggest

00:48:07.800 --> 00:48:11.679
conviction with that, where it was like, how

00:48:11.679 --> 00:48:13.420
do you want me to do it, Lord? And I really felt

00:48:13.420 --> 00:48:16.340
led to start posting on social media. And I've...

00:48:16.400 --> 00:48:18.739
Felt him take me through times where like I have

00:48:18.739 --> 00:48:20.780
gotten off and you'll see like there are times

00:48:20.780 --> 00:48:23.039
when I'll go days or maybe like a week or so

00:48:23.039 --> 00:48:25.780
just kind of reclusing and taking time off and

00:48:25.780 --> 00:48:29.639
just locking back in with the Lord. But I want

00:48:29.639 --> 00:48:31.440
to make that so clear y 'all. I'm not on social

00:48:31.440 --> 00:48:36.079
media honestly because I want to be. I'm on it

00:48:36.079 --> 00:48:39.440
because I know that right now this is the assignment

00:48:39.440 --> 00:48:42.360
and I know that there's a lot of opposition against

00:48:42.360 --> 00:48:46.019
that too. I am not. ignorant to that but my God

00:48:46.019 --> 00:48:50.019
is bigger than any opposition. The blood of Jesus,

00:48:50.039 --> 00:48:52.699
I am covered in that and protected by that and

00:48:52.699 --> 00:48:55.739
I trust in the Lord's timing and the Lord's will

00:48:55.739 --> 00:48:58.420
over mine. He has been taking me through a season

00:48:58.420 --> 00:49:05.360
right now where I cannot judge success or where

00:49:05.360 --> 00:49:07.500
I'm at in my relationship with the Lord or how

00:49:07.500 --> 00:49:11.510
pleased he is with me based off of the worldly

00:49:11.510 --> 00:49:14.230
gauges of success. He's really gotten me to lock

00:49:14.230 --> 00:49:17.570
in on, do not care about the views, the number

00:49:17.570 --> 00:49:19.949
of views. Don't care about the number of likes,

00:49:19.969 --> 00:49:21.590
don't care about the number of interactions,

00:49:21.650 --> 00:49:25.309
don't care about the number of, and like, I've

00:49:25.309 --> 00:49:27.789
said this many times before, the Lord, it's like

00:49:27.789 --> 00:49:31.050
exposure therapy for me. Like, he'll give me

00:49:31.050 --> 00:49:35.630
wisdom, and then he'll give me that same situation,

00:49:36.170 --> 00:49:38.610
and okay, now use that wisdom I just gave you.

00:49:40.510 --> 00:49:42.389
Because when he started drilling that in me,

00:49:42.630 --> 00:49:44.710
y 'all, I started getting videos where I was

00:49:44.710 --> 00:49:47.789
getting like thousands of views and then like

00:49:47.789 --> 00:49:50.670
10 likes. And that used to be something that

00:49:50.670 --> 00:49:53.329
would bother me so bad because I'm like, that's

00:49:53.329 --> 00:49:58.110
a really big gap in engagement. That's a really,

00:49:58.369 --> 00:50:01.489
that just looks bad. That just looks wonky by

00:50:01.489 --> 00:50:04.659
worldly standards. And the Lord had to like,

00:50:04.739 --> 00:50:08.360
I remember so clearly him telling me, that's

00:50:08.360 --> 00:50:12.840
like 2000 people hearing a message. And right

00:50:12.840 --> 00:50:15.019
now you're looking at, but only 10 people liked

00:50:15.019 --> 00:50:18.380
the message. Did I not tell you that not everybody

00:50:18.380 --> 00:50:22.460
was gonna like what you had to say? I remember

00:50:22.460 --> 00:50:25.260
feeling so convicted of like, dang yeah, like

00:50:25.260 --> 00:50:27.719
that's 2000 people hearing that message. I'm

00:50:27.719 --> 00:50:30.369
telling y 'all right now. That when I was in

00:50:30.369 --> 00:50:32.849
new age when I was posting tarot card readings

00:50:32.849 --> 00:50:34.869
when I was posting all that I was getting way

00:50:34.869 --> 00:50:38.210
more views and interactions and likes and money

00:50:38.210 --> 00:50:43.130
and all of that That I don't do I don't not now.

00:50:43.429 --> 00:50:46.670
Okay, there's actually a lot less Interactions

00:50:46.670 --> 00:50:50.190
and a lot less but I have noticed that the interactions

00:50:50.190 --> 00:50:52.929
that they do have now are more profound and more

00:50:52.929 --> 00:50:56.650
impactful and more spirit -filled and they're

00:50:56.650 --> 00:50:59.519
more like ministering on both sides where like

00:50:59.519 --> 00:51:01.920
I feel like I get something out of the interaction.

00:51:03.800 --> 00:51:06.539
I want to make this so clear today that like

00:51:06.539 --> 00:51:11.800
my online presence is not about attention at

00:51:11.800 --> 00:51:15.599
this point. It's not about if it was. I'm telling

00:51:15.599 --> 00:51:17.639
y 'all that talking about the Lord and sharing

00:51:17.639 --> 00:51:19.619
these testimonies and these things isn't the

00:51:19.619 --> 00:51:23.480
way for attention. I noticed a lot more when

00:51:23.480 --> 00:51:26.440
I was posting lustful things too and in the world.

00:51:26.969 --> 00:51:29.489
You know if it came to money, I'm telling y 'all

00:51:29.489 --> 00:51:32.289
right now. I made a lot more money This is solely

00:51:32.289 --> 00:51:35.690
out of fear of the Lord and reverence for the

00:51:35.690 --> 00:51:38.329
Lord and I remember I was just praying in church

00:51:38.329 --> 00:51:42.250
this morning of like Reveal to me what I can

00:51:42.250 --> 00:51:46.489
do today To glorify you because there was just

00:51:46.489 --> 00:51:49.550
this overwhelming of it's no one but you Jesus

00:51:49.550 --> 00:51:55.329
like I am the person I am today Because of you

00:51:57.260 --> 00:52:00.500
And I was actually I was so I was talking with

00:52:00.500 --> 00:52:04.059
the pastor this past week where I had the opportunity

00:52:04.059 --> 00:52:09.219
to share some of this testimony and I had Been

00:52:09.219 --> 00:52:12.800
reading to them Ezekiel and I it's so important

00:52:12.800 --> 00:52:20.739
You know to give me the words I Feel like I had

00:52:20.739 --> 00:52:24.480
kind of lost a little bit of that gratitude recently

00:52:25.099 --> 00:52:28.480
And I needed to be pulled back and because it's

00:52:28.480 --> 00:52:31.440
so important not to live in the past Right of

00:52:31.440 --> 00:52:34.380
like not fixating not focusing not treating it

00:52:34.380 --> 00:52:37.059
like you're still that person But it was almost

00:52:37.059 --> 00:52:40.679
like I forgot how far I've come in a year because

00:52:40.679 --> 00:52:44.079
it's only been a year Since I've surrendered

00:52:44.079 --> 00:52:47.119
to the Lord and he has done all of these changes

00:52:47.119 --> 00:52:50.159
in me. He's done all these changes in my life

00:52:50.699 --> 00:52:52.880
Because if I myself I you know, I was saying

00:52:52.880 --> 00:52:55.860
to pastor is like I feel like there's more like

00:52:55.860 --> 00:53:00.539
the Lord gave me some very very big visions and

00:53:00.539 --> 00:53:02.840
I feel like there's more that should be going

00:53:02.840 --> 00:53:05.219
on now I feel like there's more that should be

00:53:05.219 --> 00:53:07.639
happening and you know, I felt convicted later

00:53:07.639 --> 00:53:11.159
on of if there was more trust God would be leading

00:53:11.159 --> 00:53:17.099
that he trusts where he has me right now And

00:53:17.099 --> 00:53:19.739
I had to start thinking back of why, why do you

00:53:19.739 --> 00:53:21.980
feel like there is more? And I thought of this

00:53:21.980 --> 00:53:23.820
promise that he gave me and I'm looking back

00:53:23.820 --> 00:53:25.619
and I'm like, he's already been fulfilling that

00:53:25.619 --> 00:53:28.960
promise. He's already been doing it. Like I'm

00:53:28.960 --> 00:53:31.059
sitting here waiting on him to do some crazy

00:53:31.059 --> 00:53:33.400
big thing when he has already done monumentous

00:53:33.400 --> 00:53:35.980
things in my life that I should have gratitude

00:53:35.980 --> 00:53:38.400
for. And I don't believe this is the stopping

00:53:38.400 --> 00:53:40.380
point. I do believe that the Lord is going to

00:53:40.380 --> 00:53:44.400
expand and grow in his timing. Oh, and I'm looking

00:53:44.400 --> 00:53:47.969
at it now like, It was like a gratitude that

00:53:47.969 --> 00:53:53.750
I got pulled back to of a year ago. I was a completely

00:53:53.750 --> 00:53:55.630
different person. There are people now that like

00:53:55.630 --> 00:53:57.329
sometimes when they see me on TikTok, they're

00:53:57.329 --> 00:54:01.110
like, what were you that were you that new age

00:54:01.110 --> 00:54:03.030
person a couple years ago where it's like they

00:54:03.030 --> 00:54:06.489
can't. It reminds me going back to the scripture.

00:54:06.650 --> 00:54:08.929
I was here in the Book of John. We read a couple

00:54:08.929 --> 00:54:10.829
weeks ago where Jesus healed that blind man.

00:54:10.829 --> 00:54:12.329
And there were people saying, is that the same

00:54:12.329 --> 00:54:13.750
man that used to be hanging out? And they were

00:54:13.750 --> 00:54:16.239
like, no, that just looks like him. And that

00:54:16.239 --> 00:54:18.000
was honestly all the kind of feeling of when

00:54:18.000 --> 00:54:20.340
you have that interaction with Jesus, sometimes

00:54:20.340 --> 00:54:22.360
he will leave you looking radically different

00:54:22.360 --> 00:54:26.460
than you did before. And I had experienced that

00:54:26.460 --> 00:54:28.900
with people online saying, are you that person?

00:54:30.119 --> 00:54:31.860
And they'd be like, there is no way you're that

00:54:31.860 --> 00:54:37.159
same person. But I am. I mean, I'm different.

00:54:38.460 --> 00:54:40.500
But the person you're referring to, yeah, that

00:54:40.500 --> 00:54:44.480
was me. And when I when I'm seeing people now

00:54:44.480 --> 00:54:47.059
that knew me growing up and knew me years ago,

00:54:47.260 --> 00:54:51.480
they are Shocked but there are people who knew

00:54:51.480 --> 00:54:53.900
me very well when I was younger that when they

00:54:53.900 --> 00:54:57.099
see how I deal with Frustrating situations now

00:54:57.099 --> 00:54:59.940
and when they just hear how I speak when they

00:54:59.940 --> 00:55:01.820
just watch how I live my day -to -day life I've

00:55:01.820 --> 00:55:04.420
heard them say like you are completely different.

00:55:04.420 --> 00:55:07.980
Like how do you there are some people who have

00:55:07.980 --> 00:55:12.159
straight -up asked me like How how is this possible?

00:55:12.159 --> 00:55:13.920
I know there are some people that are really

00:55:13.920 --> 00:55:18.579
struggling right now With a lukewarm life and

00:55:18.579 --> 00:55:20.840
are really struggling right now with one foot

00:55:20.840 --> 00:55:23.780
in one foot out one foot in the things that make

00:55:23.780 --> 00:55:30.019
them comfortable and giving into Especially unforgiveness

00:55:30.019 --> 00:55:34.800
has its hold on so many people right now Addiction

00:55:34.800 --> 00:55:36.639
and different things and they've come to me and

00:55:36.639 --> 00:55:41.400
said like How what is what is how did you do

00:55:41.400 --> 00:55:45.820
it and I have looked at them and said Jesus I

00:55:45.820 --> 00:55:47.699
remember one instance so quickly when I said

00:55:47.699 --> 00:55:49.360
that they rolled their eyes and like yeah, I've

00:55:49.360 --> 00:55:52.260
tried that and you know I had in my spirit and

00:55:52.260 --> 00:55:54.460
I don't think I said it this way specifically

00:55:54.460 --> 00:55:57.880
It's kind of like have you though? Like have

00:55:57.880 --> 00:56:02.820
you tried? ultimate surrender Saking the Lord

00:56:02.820 --> 00:56:08.210
with everything you have Laying it at his feet

00:56:08.210 --> 00:56:11.269
Submitting your will to his even when it starts

00:56:11.269 --> 00:56:14.949
to get hard Because I used to say well I tried

00:56:14.949 --> 00:56:16.610
Jesus and I tried all that because I've grown

00:56:16.610 --> 00:56:19.130
up in the church And when I look back now, I

00:56:19.130 --> 00:56:22.070
was like, no, I didn't I wasn't truly seeking

00:56:22.070 --> 00:56:24.170
him. I wasn't reading scripture fervently. I

00:56:24.170 --> 00:56:26.789
wasn't praying for an understanding I wasn't

00:56:26.789 --> 00:56:31.570
doing what I could to seek him and Also trying

00:56:31.570 --> 00:56:34.929
to like deny my flesh and in the times of struggle

00:56:35.159 --> 00:56:37.400
praying for the strength and allowing God to

00:56:37.400 --> 00:56:41.320
strengthen me because when I look back at that

00:56:41.320 --> 00:56:44.559
situation y 'all like as I said I started just

00:56:44.559 --> 00:56:46.500
reading my Bible and I didn't realize at the

00:56:46.500 --> 00:56:48.280
time that that was me seeking the Lord and I

00:56:48.280 --> 00:56:51.059
didn't even realize I was seeking the Lord and

00:56:51.059 --> 00:56:55.739
as I was reading scripture like convictions started

00:56:55.739 --> 00:56:58.219
to hit it was while I was reading my Bible because

00:56:58.219 --> 00:57:00.579
I started reading that in August but I also felt

00:57:00.579 --> 00:57:04.400
led before I even started reading about how divination

00:57:04.400 --> 00:57:07.659
was said and everything like that my spirit just

00:57:07.659 --> 00:57:10.679
knew to stop reading tarot cards for people and

00:57:10.679 --> 00:57:12.780
then by the time I got to the book of Ezekiel

00:57:12.780 --> 00:57:15.900
and Conviction fully hit I was ready to like

00:57:15.900 --> 00:57:19.880
submit to the Lord. I was ready for Jesus to

00:57:19.880 --> 00:57:24.760
be my Savior for the first time in my life And

00:57:24.760 --> 00:57:26.940
when I look back the whole month before that

00:57:26.940 --> 00:57:31.079
was just me Reading scripture and starting to

00:57:31.079 --> 00:57:36.059
pray And that was me seeking the Lord and opening

00:57:36.059 --> 00:57:39.699
myself up. And my heart was softened enough that

00:57:39.699 --> 00:57:44.639
once that conviction hit, it stuck. I'm telling

00:57:44.639 --> 00:57:47.239
y 'all today that the reason why I am who I am

00:57:47.239 --> 00:57:51.139
today is Jesus. The reason why my life is the

00:57:51.139 --> 00:57:55.519
way it is, is Jesus. The reason why I'm healed

00:57:55.519 --> 00:57:57.480
in areas, the reason why I don't need substances

00:57:57.480 --> 00:57:59.039
anymore, the reason why I don't need all these

00:57:59.039 --> 00:58:00.800
other things, the reason why I can forgive people

00:58:00.800 --> 00:58:04.480
is Jesus. It's not me. It's not a therapist.

00:58:04.780 --> 00:58:06.960
It's not some new age ideal. It's not any of

00:58:06.960 --> 00:58:10.059
that and I'm not dogging on therapy I want to

00:58:10.059 --> 00:58:11.519
make that very clear But I'm just saying that

00:58:11.519 --> 00:58:14.300
that was something that I tried many many years

00:58:14.300 --> 00:58:16.900
throughout my life that was supposed to work

00:58:16.900 --> 00:58:19.960
and was supposed to be a healthy solution and

00:58:19.960 --> 00:58:22.820
Did it help me to compartmentalize a little bit

00:58:22.820 --> 00:58:26.559
more? Maybe yeah Did it was good to say things

00:58:26.559 --> 00:58:29.320
out loud. It helped me to not keep in all the

00:58:29.320 --> 00:58:33.500
emotions But that wasn't providing me with the

00:58:33.500 --> 00:58:40.639
savior from my sins that I needed So I just want

00:58:40.639 --> 00:58:42.760
to take another moment y 'all to just glorify

00:58:42.760 --> 00:58:48.099
God and how good he is and Tell you that whatever

00:58:48.099 --> 00:58:51.099
idols that you're turning to Whatever things

00:58:51.099 --> 00:58:53.440
you're putting your faith in and set up the Lord

00:58:53.440 --> 00:58:56.280
right now I know AI is so popular and there are

00:58:56.280 --> 00:58:59.159
so many people turn to AI for advice and for

00:58:59.159 --> 00:59:02.730
comfort instead of the Word of God. I know substances

00:59:02.730 --> 00:59:04.309
are such a big thing. There are so many people

00:59:04.309 --> 00:59:07.010
who are turning to substances for comfort and

00:59:07.010 --> 00:59:10.030
detachment and relaxing when they could be turning

00:59:10.030 --> 00:59:11.889
to the Lord. There are so many people turning

00:59:11.889 --> 00:59:15.090
to horoscopes and psychics and all these readers

00:59:15.090 --> 00:59:17.750
for guidance and instruction when the Lord is

00:59:17.750 --> 00:59:22.989
ready to speak to them. There are so many people

00:59:22.989 --> 00:59:27.320
turning to thinking that that job Thinking that

00:59:27.320 --> 00:59:30.739
you know that that relationship title thinking

00:59:30.739 --> 00:59:34.300
that that Sir that certification or that award

00:59:34.300 --> 00:59:37.099
or that qualification is going to be what makes

00:59:37.099 --> 00:59:39.139
them feel good about themselves is going to be

00:59:39.139 --> 00:59:42.619
what You know changes their life those people

00:59:42.619 --> 00:59:45.400
thinking that taking revenge into their own hands

00:59:45.400 --> 00:59:49.039
or getting getting their type of justice Is going

00:59:49.039 --> 00:59:50.900
to be what allows them to sleep at night, and

00:59:50.900 --> 00:59:54.019
I'm telling y 'all right now the Jesus is the

00:59:54.019 --> 00:59:56.219
way, not these other things. I'm here to tell

00:59:56.219 --> 01:00:01.940
you today to lay those idols down and to give

01:00:01.940 --> 01:00:05.599
your life to the Lord. I'm telling you today

01:00:05.599 --> 01:00:09.780
that he can and will replace all of those things.

01:00:11.780 --> 01:00:14.360
I'm telling you today that with Jesus working

01:00:14.360 --> 01:00:17.320
in your life a year from now, you may be looking

01:00:17.320 --> 01:00:19.280
back and you're a completely different person

01:00:19.280 --> 01:00:20.840
that doesn't need those things, that doesn't

01:00:20.840 --> 01:00:23.190
rely on those things. Having a completely different

01:00:23.190 --> 01:00:25.190
heart, speaking from experience of someone who

01:00:25.190 --> 01:00:30.050
the Lord gave them a new heart. I'm telling y

01:00:30.050 --> 01:00:34.309
'all today that it is possible. And glory be

01:00:34.309 --> 01:00:39.690
to God I'm here. Glory be to God. So we're gonna

01:00:39.690 --> 01:00:44.730
end this episode today, and I just, I pray. Not

01:00:44.730 --> 01:00:47.230
whatever in your life right now that you are

01:00:47.230 --> 01:00:50.050
not laying down that you lay down at the feet

01:00:50.050 --> 01:00:53.230
of Jesus Like lay it down at his feet and stop

01:00:53.230 --> 01:00:56.730
picking it up If it's unforgiveness lay it down

01:00:56.730 --> 01:00:59.130
if it's envy lay it down if it's jealousy lay

01:00:59.130 --> 01:01:04.230
it down if it's sexual Morality lay it down Like

01:01:04.230 --> 01:01:08.760
if it's lying lay it down False accusations,

01:01:08.800 --> 01:01:10.820
lay it down. If it's witchcraft, lay it down.

01:01:10.840 --> 01:01:13.000
If it's control, lay it down. If it's divination,

01:01:13.019 --> 01:01:23.239
lay it down. Lay it down at his feet and recognize

01:01:23.239 --> 01:01:25.659
that whatever he can do in your life is a million

01:01:25.659 --> 01:01:28.980
times bigger and better than what any of those

01:01:28.980 --> 01:01:31.460
things could do in your life. The Lord is the

01:01:31.460 --> 01:01:35.079
firm foundation. These other things are not a

01:01:35.079 --> 01:01:39.280
firm foundation. If you build your life on these

01:01:39.280 --> 01:01:41.300
other things, you're gonna be like that person

01:01:41.300 --> 01:01:44.119
who built on the sand and when the storm came,

01:01:44.500 --> 01:01:47.820
it all fell apart. If you build on the Lord,

01:01:47.860 --> 01:01:49.440
you're gonna be standing on a firm foundation

01:01:49.440 --> 01:01:52.699
that when the rain comes and the winds blow,

01:01:53.420 --> 01:01:56.000
it's still gonna be standing because it was built

01:01:56.000 --> 01:02:01.079
on the rock. So I'm praying today that you lay

01:02:01.079 --> 01:02:03.460
those things down and you start building on a

01:02:03.460 --> 01:02:09.250
firm foundation, which is Jesus Christ. I pray

01:02:09.250 --> 01:02:12.429
that there are softened hearts and I pray that

01:02:12.429 --> 01:02:14.909
God gives you eyes to see and ears to hear what

01:02:14.909 --> 01:02:17.909
He's doing around you and the people around you,

01:02:17.909 --> 01:02:19.710
what He wants to do in your life. I pray that

01:02:19.710 --> 01:02:23.789
you hear from the Lord and that you stand on

01:02:23.789 --> 01:02:26.130
what you have heard from the Lord and that no

01:02:26.130 --> 01:02:29.510
storm coming towards you can shake you because

01:02:29.510 --> 01:02:34.510
you have your faith in Jesus. I'm telling you

01:02:34.510 --> 01:02:37.800
today. that transformation is possible through

01:02:37.800 --> 01:02:41.420
the Lord and anyone telling you that it's not

01:02:41.420 --> 01:02:53.099
possible it's not from God Jesus came here He

01:02:53.099 --> 01:02:57.659
died on the cross so that we may be forgiven

01:02:57.659 --> 01:03:02.219
for our sins and glory be to God for the first

01:03:02.219 --> 01:03:05.960
time in my life I've given it to Him This is

01:03:05.960 --> 01:03:08.099
the first time in my life y 'all that I actually

01:03:08.099 --> 01:03:11.300
feel secure in my salvation I'm telling y 'all

01:03:11.300 --> 01:03:13.980
that That's an amazing thing that the Lord has

01:03:13.980 --> 01:03:17.300
done in my life is even growing up and I remember

01:03:17.300 --> 01:03:19.380
in middle school and high school I used to straight

01:03:19.380 --> 01:03:20.980
-up say I didn't know if I was going to heaven

01:03:20.980 --> 01:03:23.440
or hell I felt like I was a good person but the

01:03:23.440 --> 01:03:25.860
same time I recognized I was willfully sinning

01:03:26.739 --> 01:03:29.139
And when I look back now, I didn't have my faith

01:03:29.139 --> 01:03:31.099
in Jesus and I don't believe that you're saved

01:03:31.099 --> 01:03:33.179
by your works I believe that you are saved by

01:03:33.179 --> 01:03:35.860
your faith if you believe that Jesus cross Jesus

01:03:35.860 --> 01:03:39.639
Christ Went to the cross died for our sins and

01:03:39.639 --> 01:03:42.139
was resurrected from the dead if you have faith

01:03:42.139 --> 01:03:46.820
in that You have true faith in him then that

01:03:47.429 --> 01:03:50.210
is your salvation, right? I believe that starts

01:03:50.210 --> 01:03:52.090
with faith, but our works are a byproduct of

01:03:52.090 --> 01:03:53.690
our faith. Because I'll tell y 'all before, when

01:03:53.690 --> 01:03:56.210
I didn't have my faith in Jesus, when I didn't

01:03:56.210 --> 01:03:58.010
truly believe in those things, my life didn't

01:03:58.010 --> 01:04:00.710
look any different. I was willfully sinning.

01:04:00.730 --> 01:04:02.469
I didn't have a desire to please the Lord. I

01:04:02.469 --> 01:04:04.769
didn't have a desire to live differently. I wasn't

01:04:04.769 --> 01:04:07.989
repenting. When I truly believed in who Jesus

01:04:07.989 --> 01:04:12.070
Christ was, and that he had, when he went to

01:04:12.070 --> 01:04:14.849
the cross, I actually could be forgiven for my

01:04:14.849 --> 01:04:18.179
sins, Like my works started to look different.

01:04:18.320 --> 01:04:20.739
Was my life totally perfect? I wasn't a totally

01:04:20.739 --> 01:04:23.679
perfect person. But all of a sudden I started

01:04:23.679 --> 01:04:26.659
repenting. I started trying to flee temptation.

01:04:26.760 --> 01:04:28.619
I started trying to do all these things. So your

01:04:28.619 --> 01:04:32.659
works are 100 % a byproduct of your faith. So

01:04:32.659 --> 01:04:37.639
I'm telling y 'all today, like... Surrendering

01:04:37.639 --> 01:04:39.639
to Jesus is the best choice I ever made in my

01:04:39.639 --> 01:04:41.989
life. because this is my first time that like

01:04:41.989 --> 01:04:44.349
when I'm reading through the book of revelation

01:04:44.349 --> 01:04:47.070
for example this past summer and there used to

01:04:47.070 --> 01:04:49.570
be such a fear around that book and although

01:04:49.570 --> 01:04:52.349
I don't always get like sunshine and rainbows

01:04:52.349 --> 01:04:54.750
feeling reading that book now there's kind of

01:04:54.750 --> 01:04:59.090
like a my name is in the book of life like I'm

01:04:59.090 --> 01:05:02.570
gonna be with the lord and I never had that feeling

01:05:02.570 --> 01:05:06.849
before I always had a question mark and this

01:05:06.849 --> 01:05:10.449
is the first time where I'm like I'm gonna be

01:05:10.449 --> 01:05:18.090
what Jesus is. And it's the most... I don't even

01:05:18.090 --> 01:05:20.469
know how to describe the feeling of there's just

01:05:20.469 --> 01:05:24.630
an utmost gratitude that I didn't die in my sin.

01:05:29.969 --> 01:05:32.269
Like, there's such gratitude that I didn't die

01:05:32.269 --> 01:05:35.670
in my sin. When I look back now, if I would've

01:05:35.670 --> 01:05:38.599
died like two years ago, I honestly don't believe

01:05:38.599 --> 01:05:41.199
I would have been in heaven. I believe I would

01:05:41.199 --> 01:05:43.260
have been in eternal separation, so glory be

01:05:43.260 --> 01:05:47.639
to God, amen, but I had more time. I know not

01:05:47.639 --> 01:05:51.559
everybody does. So I'm thankful every day, like,

01:05:51.699 --> 01:05:56.039
and I, this is my commitment I'm making out loud

01:05:56.039 --> 01:05:58.420
that I need to start practicing more gratitude

01:05:58.420 --> 01:06:01.300
for just the fact of the time that I have. Because

01:06:01.300 --> 01:06:02.960
I know that there are so many other people out

01:06:02.960 --> 01:06:08.150
there that... haven't had that time. The glory

01:06:08.150 --> 01:06:10.349
be to God, he's given me that. It's not that

01:06:10.349 --> 01:06:13.570
I'm deserving of it. The glory be to God, he's

01:06:13.570 --> 01:06:15.690
chosen to give it to me anyway. So we're going

01:06:15.690 --> 01:06:20.829
to close out this podcast. And I just want to

01:06:20.829 --> 01:06:22.889
thank you for listening. And I do hope that you

01:06:22.889 --> 01:06:24.750
subscribe and come back and listen to the next

01:06:24.750 --> 01:06:27.110
episode. This was Salt Mountain Sweetener. I'm

01:06:27.110 --> 01:06:29.050
your host, Danielle Townsend. Have a wonderful

01:06:29.050 --> 01:06:30.210
Sunday. God bless.