WEBVTT

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Hey guys and welcome back To the salt not sweetener

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podcast. I'm your host Danielle Townsend And

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it is I'm not used to recording Episodes early

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in the morning like this, but it is early Monday

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morning, and I am sitting down here with my coffee

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Ready to share with y 'all something so important

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that the Lord has done in my life And that is

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leading me to a life of sobriety And this is

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a topic that I've wanted to go in on this topic

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for a while I really wasn't sure how to go in

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on this topic and we know in my past episodes

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I've shared with y 'all how I use substances

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as coping mechanisms. I've shared some of my

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past traumas some of my past pains and um how

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substances were a detachment for me and they

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were a getaway for me but i also shared how they

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were a real pain a real source of pain and source

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of stress and source of struggle for me too it

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was a double -edged sword i'm here to share with

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y 'all today about the lord and how good he is

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and how he led me to a life of sobriety how substances

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impacted me and affected me, and I just hope

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that this testimony helps you and reveals things

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to you. Now, to give y 'all a little bit of just

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background of the substance use in my life and

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the role it played, I'd like to start off with

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just how I gravitated towards it and how I got

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involved in it. You know, I started seeing alcohol

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abuse and addiction at a very young age. Like

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the earliest memories I can remember are of people

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drinking and partying and abusing alcohol. And

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I remember seeing so many arguments and so many

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disagreements and so many fights because someone

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was drunk, because someone was out of it. How

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many late nights there were staying up. how many

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backhanded comments, like I just remember alcohol

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being the forefront of the majority of my childhood

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memories and the majority of them not being very

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good. That's not saying that my childhood was

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always bad because when people were drunk, they

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also liked to be a good time too, right? So I

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actually got to experience a lot of things that

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some kids normally wouldn't experience because

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the adults around me weren't always making the

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best judgment calls. So there was like a love

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-hate relationship with substances. I saw the

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side of it of, you know, the anger, the bad emotions

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coming out, the bad decisions. Then I also saw

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the carefree side of it. And yeah, so growing

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up, I was used to just, that was a normal part

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in my daily life. And I remember when I started

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hitting middle school age, I started getting

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more interested in substances. especially, you

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know, all the content I was consuming on Facebook,

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on MTV, everything like that, and then just I

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started gravitating towards hanging around older

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kids too. So it started looking like fun. It

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looked like a good time and it looked like that's

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just what teenagers did and that's just what

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grown -up people did. I thought that everybody

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turned up. I thought that that was just an everybody

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thing. And I remember it was my eighth grade

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year, it was when I was 14, that I actually started

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really getting involved in dabbling. And I dove

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in pretty quickly. So I remember there was already

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a real sparked interest in it. By the time I

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was 14, I was dating boys and there were boys

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I started dating that smoked weed and drank and

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did pills and like did different things. and

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naturally my interest in that spark too and there

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was I remember I started making new friends at

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this time I started being friends with some really

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like more kind of popular girls that wanted to

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dabble in the party lifestyle and there were

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a couple new kids that moved into my neighborhood

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that that was their lifestyle and that opened

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up a whole new door for me. You know, I had recently

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experienced some home life changes. There was

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a person that I was used to having in the home

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that was no longer in the home. That one point

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kind of kept me in check and was a little bit

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more of an authority figure. So there was also

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a newfound freedom of being able to kind of go

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out and do whatever I wanted to do that I hadn't

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really had before. And that ended up being a

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really bad combination, in all honesty, because

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Before you knew it, I was off the school bus

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and I was hanging out with these people and it

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started off with smoking. That's where it started

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off with, with smoking weed. And then it turned

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into smoking cigarettes because the nicotine

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buzz gave me the same buzz I would get from weed.

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And then I turned into getting addicted to nicotine

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and getting addicted to cigarettes. And I loved

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the buzz. I loved the high that I got with marijuana

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because it was just like a euphoric. Feeling

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and then like I don't care feeling like all the

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the stressors and the burdens and upsets and

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everything I've been holding on to for so long

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It was finally released, you know, like I didn't

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have that building up within me anymore for so

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long I was my releases were crying breakdowns

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and like self -harming when I was 13 like it

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was it was Having a really hard time expressing

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my emotions and expressing myself And I felt

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like no one around me really cared to hear what

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I was feeling. Or if they acted like they cared,

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it's not like any differences were made or changes

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were made, everything was the same. And I was

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really having a hard time with expressing myself

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and with handling my feelings. You know, up until

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that point, I tried going, they were sending

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me to counseling, they were sending me to therapy.

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And the running problem I found was I didn't

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feel like I was being heard by my counselors.

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I really felt like they were siding with the

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people that at that time I saw as the perpetrators

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in my life. I really felt like they were siding

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with the addicts. They were siding with the people

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that were consistent sources of pain for me.

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And I remember one counselor laughing at me.

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And it was so hard because I felt like no one

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cared. And even if they did, they weren't going

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to do anything about it. And I just had to find

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ways to kind of emotionally cope and handle it

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on my own. And for me, I started seeing marijuana

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as like a way to relax and a way to detach and

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a way to just vibe and feel peace and all things

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I cared about before I don't care about anymore.

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And that was just, and you know, it's temporary

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and only lasts a couple hours, but that was the

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detachment I needed at least. in that time period,

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and that very quickly turned into drinking too.

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Drinking on the weekends with my friends, and

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eventually I ended up being able to get consistent

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access to vodka and things like that, and it

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turned into almost every day I was coming home

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and drinking. turning up. And it was never a

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thing of physically needing it. It wasn't like

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I ever want the physical withdrawals of like,

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I don't drink, it's gonna be a mess or anything

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like that. But that just became a part of my

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daily habit, where it was like, I get home and

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I want to have fun. Okay, let's drink. Hang out

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friends. Okay, let's drink. Okay, let's smoke.

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That just became a daily. I would say daily was

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more the smoking than the drinking. But that

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became like a very daily thing for me. And that

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was eighth grade when I started hanging out again

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with a lot of boys and the popular girls. And

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our weekends quickly turned into, you know, there

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was this bowling alley right down the road from

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me that did, late night, it was called Cosmic

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Bowling on the weekends where you could go until

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1 .30 in the morning. so I would have a big group

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of friends that would come over to stay the night

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with me on Friday and Saturday nights and we'd

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get ready and turn up and everything like that

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and then walk down and go bowling and we meet

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up with the boys we were talking to or dating

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at the time and like other people and then you

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know sometimes we would go home after that at

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1 30 but most of the time we would go out and

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ride around in the boys car with them and like

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just be doing stuff that we shouldn't be doing

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and turning up further and so you know I have

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like a lot of access and a lot of freedom in

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that way of like not really having to come home

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and not really having to come back and do things

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um so having that open door of freedom and not

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really having an accountability and also having

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all this access to these things keep in mind

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y 'all I'm a child making childish decisions

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I know to some people 14 you should know about,

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but I mean when you're 14 you're not thinking

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things through like an adult thinks things through.

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You're thinking about what's fun, you're thinking

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about what people at school are gonna think is

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cool, you're thinking about very short -term

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thoughts, very emotionally made decisions. So

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I still had a child like mine making childish

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decisions. And, you know, I saw the consequences

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of that, in all honesty. There were a lot of

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things I saw and a lot of things I experienced

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that caused a lot of pain and a lot of suffering

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for me mentally and emotionally that I really

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kept to myself. I didn't tell a lot of people

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about that. I think back and I'm like, dang,

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if I would have stayed home, I wouldn't have

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been out to experience that. But the Lord has

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turned those things into testimonies. But I'm

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just telling y 'all like that. So that was the

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hotbed for it. When I was 14, I kind of dove

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into it because I also started a big thing that

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was going around at the time that a lot of us

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were doing was cold medicine. And I was doing

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that very in large increments so much so that

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like at one time I had to go to the hospital

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for the day. I was hospitalized for the day just

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to detox. We would call it zombie mode where

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like you couldn't even bend your arms or anything

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like that. you'd be like a zombie for like 10

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hours. I was trying different things and I started

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realizing that it wasn't like I was seeking a

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specific euphoria or I wasn't seeking just highs,

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I wasn't seeking just downs, like I wasn't looking

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for just uppers or just downers, I was just looking

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for detachment. So if what was available to me

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that day was marijuana, it was marijuana. If

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what was available to me that day was alcohol,

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it was alcohol. If it was available, cold medicine

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or air duster was a thing back then that a lot

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of people are doing. I'm pretty sure I fried

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some brain cells with that. I couldn't do math

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very well after that. Anything that could get

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me detached from my feelings and my emotion and

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the reality I was in, that was what I was seeking.

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So one day it might be super excited and bouncing

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around and turning up and then the next day it

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might be down Sleeping in bed for 12 hours. Like

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it was whatever it was to detach and to just

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disconnect from reality and that progressed in

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my high school years. I started seeking that

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more in my high school years. Now in my high

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school years, when I was hanging out more with

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people who could drive and when I could definitely

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drive myself and everything like that, it turned

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more into going out and partying and turning

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up. There's a college campus that I grew up in.

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I grew up in a college town and I was partying

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on my college campus all the time and I was dating

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boys that were partying on college campus all

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the time. Like all my circles were people who

00:11:35.120 --> 00:11:37.960
did that. And I want to be clear that like that

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wasn't the majority of what the people like at

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my school were doing the majority of the people

00:11:42.159 --> 00:11:47.200
at my school were like At least they weren't

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going out doing that if they if they tried alcohol

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or tried smoke and they would do it like Quietly

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like in their backyard or something like that,

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but they were staying home on Friday Saturday

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nights after football games I I was hanging out

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with college kids. I was hanging out with kids

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from other schools So, you know, to a lot of

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the people at my school, what I was doing, to

00:12:09.159 --> 00:12:11.000
some of them, there was a very harsh judgment.

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There were, I noticed in eighth grade, there

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were always rumors flying about me around the

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school. Someone always had something to say because

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I was very adamant with what I was doing on my

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social media. Um, and then there were some other

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people who wanted to do what I was doing, um,

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or there was a jealousy. And, you know, if they

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would have saw the reasoning behind what I was

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doing, I don't think they would have been as

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jealous, but there were people who all they saw

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was I'm out hanging out with college kids and

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popular boys and like partying all the time.

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And I'm laughing, driving around in the car,

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going out of state, just doing whatever I want

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to do on school nights even. you know to some

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people that was the total life that was like

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they didn't even see the other side of it um

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and all the compromises you have to make the

00:12:53.659 --> 00:12:55.659
moral compromises you have to make and just the

00:12:55.659 --> 00:13:00.059
detachment and um so anyway that goes on throughout

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high school and i go into college and i'm working

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full time and just kind of trying to keep my

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head above water trying to pay for everything

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and all my off days i'm using that to drink and

00:13:08.980 --> 00:13:11.159
turn up you know this time i'd stopped smoking

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um for work so i i was just drinking strictly

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for years and then I started feeling drinking

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convictions where I was like I don't want to

00:13:19.620 --> 00:13:22.519
be an alcoholic like I'm right now I'm not physically

00:13:22.519 --> 00:13:25.539
dependent on it but I know that that's I've seen

00:13:25.539 --> 00:13:27.960
that in the family and I know that that's something

00:13:27.960 --> 00:13:29.620
if I continue down this path it's going to be

00:13:29.620 --> 00:13:32.399
in the cards for me so I quit drinking completely

00:13:32.399 --> 00:13:35.080
I stopped keeping alcohol in my house but then

00:13:35.080 --> 00:13:40.340
I turned to smoking again And that ended up becoming

00:13:40.340 --> 00:13:43.059
an idol for me, like a real idol. I didn't see

00:13:43.059 --> 00:13:44.980
how that was an idol for me all throughout school

00:13:44.980 --> 00:13:47.700
because when I look back now, where I should

00:13:47.700 --> 00:13:49.460
have gotten my peace and where I should have

00:13:49.460 --> 00:13:52.580
gotten my healing was Jesus Christ. If I was

00:13:52.580 --> 00:13:55.659
seeking to lay these things down, I should have

00:13:55.659 --> 00:13:59.059
laid them down at the feet of Jesus. But I didn't

00:13:59.059 --> 00:14:01.759
have a relationship with Jesus like that. I didn't

00:14:01.759 --> 00:14:04.460
see Jesus as the answer and I didn't see myself

00:14:04.460 --> 00:14:08.429
needing a savior in that way. and you know when

00:14:08.429 --> 00:14:11.429
I was um in my young adult years yeah so when

00:14:11.429 --> 00:14:14.710
I put down alcohol I turned to um the teach and

00:14:14.710 --> 00:14:17.129
that ended up turning from like just smoking

00:14:17.129 --> 00:14:19.889
marijuana to dads and I ended up investing a

00:14:19.889 --> 00:14:22.590
lot of money in that and I found the majority

00:14:22.590 --> 00:14:25.710
of my money was going to that um when I look

00:14:25.710 --> 00:14:27.490
back I think about how much it was affecting

00:14:27.490 --> 00:14:30.870
my daily life I I had to like it turned into

00:14:30.870 --> 00:14:35.889
I I couldn't sleep without it um I couldn't like

00:14:36.029 --> 00:14:39.889
I wanted to take a hit of it before I would do

00:14:39.889 --> 00:14:42.789
any activity like if it was any kind of house

00:14:42.789 --> 00:14:44.429
chore if it was hanging out with people like

00:14:44.429 --> 00:14:46.149
if I was hanging out with people we had to be

00:14:46.149 --> 00:14:47.509
going somewhere and doing something where we

00:14:47.509 --> 00:14:50.269
could smoke because everyone that was in my circle

00:14:50.269 --> 00:14:52.190
that I was spending time with was also doing

00:14:52.190 --> 00:14:55.330
that too. I didn't have any like sober -minded

00:14:55.330 --> 00:14:59.009
people everyone there was turning up and it was

00:14:59.009 --> 00:15:05.279
all dabs and things like that. So when I look

00:15:05.279 --> 00:15:07.399
back, I was centering my community around that

00:15:07.399 --> 00:15:09.480
of who are people who are going to enable and

00:15:09.480 --> 00:15:11.519
encourage, who are people that are also going

00:15:11.519 --> 00:15:15.700
to participate in it with me. And those were

00:15:15.700 --> 00:15:17.379
the kind of people that I was seeking out for

00:15:17.379 --> 00:15:19.409
a saying. those were the kind of people I was

00:15:19.409 --> 00:15:21.409
more going and hanging out with. I was going

00:15:21.409 --> 00:15:24.090
out to places that enabled that behavior, which

00:15:24.090 --> 00:15:25.809
when I look back those weren't Christ -filled

00:15:25.809 --> 00:15:28.009
places, those weren't Christ -filled spaces.

00:15:28.509 --> 00:15:30.429
I was spending a good amount of money on that.

00:15:30.429 --> 00:15:33.470
I was spending like at least $60 a week, but

00:15:33.470 --> 00:15:36.570
it goes more to $100 a week on it. Which I noticed

00:15:36.570 --> 00:15:39.429
some people isn't a lot of money, but with my

00:15:39.429 --> 00:15:41.409
paycheck back then and me just trying to like

00:15:41.409 --> 00:15:44.169
pay all my bills and everything, that was very

00:15:44.169 --> 00:15:48.220
impactful, you know. and getting paid bi -weekly,

00:15:48.419 --> 00:15:50.460
that's basically $200 a paycheck, just going

00:15:50.460 --> 00:15:52.799
to that, let alone nicotine, that was probably

00:15:52.799 --> 00:15:58.200
like $60 too, a paycheck. And I'm spending my

00:15:58.200 --> 00:16:01.279
money on that, and I look back at how many connections

00:16:01.279 --> 00:16:04.679
that it damaged and harmed, because when I would

00:16:04.679 --> 00:16:06.639
try to spend time with people who were sober

00:16:06.639 --> 00:16:10.320
-minded, they didn't like what I was doing. They

00:16:10.320 --> 00:16:12.279
could immediately see that where I was going

00:16:12.279 --> 00:16:16.409
was not... that wasn't a good path I was going

00:16:16.409 --> 00:16:19.570
down so I there were connections that weren't

00:16:19.570 --> 00:16:21.990
allowed to be developed and weren't cultivated

00:16:21.990 --> 00:16:23.850
weren't grown that could have been healthy for

00:16:23.850 --> 00:16:26.929
me because of my habits and because of like me

00:16:26.929 --> 00:16:29.210
turning to those things and I honestly saw no

00:16:29.210 --> 00:16:31.950
problem with it I felt like I romanticized it

00:16:31.950 --> 00:16:33.889
and I felt like there was something poetic about

00:16:33.889 --> 00:16:38.169
it especially you know with the TV shows and

00:16:38.169 --> 00:16:41.230
everything that were coming out glorifying turning

00:16:41.230 --> 00:16:46.059
up especially in the late 2010s, like 2016, 2017,

00:16:46.320 --> 00:16:49.779
2018, where a lot of people turning up and having

00:16:49.779 --> 00:16:52.480
to dissociate and all that was glorified and

00:16:52.480 --> 00:16:54.799
depression was glorified and all of these things

00:16:54.799 --> 00:16:58.100
were glorified. And I found real ways to glorify

00:16:58.100 --> 00:17:01.559
it and honestly all living in a town that has

00:17:01.559 --> 00:17:03.980
a college that's known for partying and has a

00:17:03.980 --> 00:17:06.430
lot of that. That is more the lifestyle that

00:17:06.430 --> 00:17:08.329
is glorified and I didn't have a lot of people

00:17:08.329 --> 00:17:10.690
telling me not to do it because at the end of

00:17:10.690 --> 00:17:12.490
the day I was still getting up and going to work.

00:17:13.029 --> 00:17:15.410
I was still paying my bills. I was still doing

00:17:15.410 --> 00:17:17.589
what I needed to be doing. You know when you

00:17:17.589 --> 00:17:20.509
see like addiction in people's lives oftentimes

00:17:20.509 --> 00:17:23.980
you see like all of their family, all of that's

00:17:23.980 --> 00:17:25.880
falling out and they're losing jobs and they're

00:17:25.880 --> 00:17:27.640
losing all of this and it's so evident to say

00:17:27.640 --> 00:17:30.099
like this is a problem and for a lot of people

00:17:30.099 --> 00:17:32.079
they weren't really able to point out so much

00:17:32.079 --> 00:17:34.160
that it was a problem because I was getting up

00:17:34.160 --> 00:17:36.240
and going to work because I was going and taking

00:17:36.240 --> 00:17:37.920
care of all those things and doing everything

00:17:37.920 --> 00:17:40.759
that needed to be taken care of but you know

00:17:40.759 --> 00:17:42.720
there were some people that would start pointing

00:17:42.720 --> 00:17:44.599
out like hey you know it seems like you're kind

00:17:44.599 --> 00:17:46.619
of emotionally relying on this why don't you

00:17:46.619 --> 00:17:49.950
like They would notice that like if someone would

00:17:49.950 --> 00:17:51.789
tell me like no, we can't smoke right now No,

00:17:51.789 --> 00:17:53.410
we can't do this. I would get in the way that

00:17:53.410 --> 00:17:57.730
would get frustrated like So there were obvious

00:17:57.730 --> 00:18:00.210
signs there when you paid a lot of attention

00:18:00.210 --> 00:18:02.410
But the majority of the people there weren't

00:18:02.410 --> 00:18:05.269
the warning flags of this thing is a danger and

00:18:05.269 --> 00:18:08.029
like damaging your life Like it would be for

00:18:08.029 --> 00:18:09.789
a lot of other people and it got worse y 'all

00:18:09.789 --> 00:18:11.509
when I got into new age spirituality because

00:18:11.509 --> 00:18:13.650
once I got into new age spirituality I started

00:18:13.650 --> 00:18:18.000
using smoking to help me meditate and to help

00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:20.819
me connect and help me put me in like a different

00:18:20.819 --> 00:18:22.880
kind of state of mind and I felt like it made

00:18:22.880 --> 00:18:25.799
me more of a deep thinker and not like I couldn't

00:18:25.799 --> 00:18:29.859
write without it and like all of these things

00:18:29.859 --> 00:18:37.200
um and um it wasn't until because it was it was

00:18:37.200 --> 00:18:41.779
back in um when I was about like 20 it was like

00:18:41.779 --> 00:18:44.519
24 years old it was right before I turned 24

00:18:44.519 --> 00:18:50.089
yeah um that I I couldn't afford to do the dabs

00:18:50.089 --> 00:18:51.569
or anything anymore and I started putting that

00:18:51.569 --> 00:18:53.869
aside but I realized I could afford to go buy

00:18:53.869 --> 00:18:57.910
like a six dollar six to nine dollar bottle of

00:18:57.910 --> 00:19:02.329
like barefoot Moscato every night to just relax

00:19:02.329 --> 00:19:06.289
at the end of the night and I started doing that

00:19:06.289 --> 00:19:11.170
and yeah so the drinking started coming up it

00:19:11.170 --> 00:19:13.970
wasn't every day but it started being a little

00:19:13.970 --> 00:19:16.589
bit more frequently and then it was in the fall

00:19:16.960 --> 00:19:25.019
that year when I started turning to CBD pens

00:19:25.019 --> 00:19:28.000
and started picking those up and started using

00:19:28.000 --> 00:19:30.799
those as a coping and before you knew it When

00:19:30.799 --> 00:19:33.359
I traveled to the West Coast and everything was

00:19:33.359 --> 00:19:36.619
legal over there Doors were open for me to get

00:19:36.619 --> 00:19:38.680
back in the smoking again. And that was where

00:19:38.680 --> 00:19:41.559
the Lord gave me a lot of smoking convictions

00:19:41.559 --> 00:19:46.509
Because I started I started realizing that I

00:19:46.509 --> 00:19:49.029
was just doing it out of like a boring habit

00:19:49.029 --> 00:19:51.509
and I felt like I was doing good I would make

00:19:51.509 --> 00:19:54.369
myself wait until 6 p .m. every night before

00:19:54.369 --> 00:19:58.150
I would start smoking because I would say well

00:19:58.150 --> 00:20:00.049
by 6 p .m. I've done everything I need to do

00:20:00.049 --> 00:20:02.289
throughout the day and it's not impacting me

00:20:02.289 --> 00:20:04.809
from doing any of my daily responsibilities or

00:20:04.809 --> 00:20:06.930
any of the daily things I'm supposed to be doing

00:20:06.930 --> 00:20:09.089
I've taken care of everything I need to do now

00:20:09.089 --> 00:20:12.799
it's just relaxing And I would find myself like

00:20:12.799 --> 00:20:14.940
it'd be like 2, 3, 4 p .m. and I'd be annoyed

00:20:14.940 --> 00:20:17.039
just waiting on 6 p .m. to come around so that

00:20:17.039 --> 00:20:19.799
way I could turn up and that way I could... and

00:20:19.799 --> 00:20:24.140
I realized that there was some kind of feeling

00:20:24.140 --> 00:20:27.980
that I was chasing from that. It didn't matter

00:20:27.980 --> 00:20:29.579
if I was going through all these stressors in

00:20:29.579 --> 00:20:31.720
my life or I was going through no stressors,

00:20:31.900 --> 00:20:35.400
if I was just bored or whatever. There was some

00:20:35.400 --> 00:20:38.940
kind of idolatry that I had going on with that.

00:20:40.360 --> 00:20:42.940
that even now sometimes it's hard for words to

00:20:42.940 --> 00:20:45.660
describe with it because it started out as a

00:20:45.660 --> 00:20:47.579
thing of like Coping when I was going through

00:20:47.579 --> 00:20:49.319
stressful times and I started realizing that

00:20:49.319 --> 00:20:52.160
even on days when I wasn't stressed I was just

00:20:52.160 --> 00:20:54.779
bored that became my way of dealing with boredom

00:20:54.779 --> 00:20:57.720
that became my way of Destressing that became

00:20:57.720 --> 00:21:00.779
my way of like I feel like I can't have as much

00:21:00.779 --> 00:21:04.740
joy Like I literally if I want to sit down watch

00:21:04.740 --> 00:21:06.400
a funny movie or something like that put that

00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:08.140
on because I felt like it would make me laugh

00:21:08.140 --> 00:21:11.400
a little bit more it would enhance the experience

00:21:11.400 --> 00:21:15.460
I started looking at marijuana as or substances

00:21:15.460 --> 00:21:19.559
in general as experience enhancers You know some

00:21:19.559 --> 00:21:22.380
people call alcohol like a liquid courage liquid

00:21:22.380 --> 00:21:25.180
confidence And I was using that times too when

00:21:25.180 --> 00:21:26.859
I'd be meeting people for the first time or hanging

00:21:26.859 --> 00:21:28.440
out with people for the first time I'd feel like

00:21:28.440 --> 00:21:32.259
turning up with like bring out my boldness more.

00:21:33.359 --> 00:21:36.440
So yeah, the Lord, overall, around the time that

00:21:36.440 --> 00:21:39.180
he convicted me when I really recognized that

00:21:39.180 --> 00:21:43.359
tarot card reading was wrong, I also recognized

00:21:43.359 --> 00:21:46.240
that substance use was wrong. And for me, it

00:21:46.240 --> 00:21:49.980
was reading scriptures of be sober minded. The

00:21:49.980 --> 00:21:53.880
devil prowls like a roaring lion, prowling around

00:21:53.880 --> 00:21:56.220
looking for someone to devour. And I started

00:21:56.220 --> 00:21:59.970
thinking back to most Most of the time I said

00:21:59.970 --> 00:22:03.029
something I wish I didn't say. I made a decision

00:22:03.029 --> 00:22:05.089
I wish I didn't make. If it was I made a purchase

00:22:05.089 --> 00:22:07.930
I wish I didn't make. I gave into a temptation

00:22:07.930 --> 00:22:09.950
I wish I didn't give into. I gave into an emotion

00:22:09.950 --> 00:22:12.089
I wish I didn't give into. Whatever it was I

00:22:12.089 --> 00:22:13.769
look back and think a lot of times it was when

00:22:13.769 --> 00:22:16.529
I wasn't sober minded. A lot of times it was

00:22:16.529 --> 00:22:19.089
when I was turned up. It was when I was drinking.

00:22:19.519 --> 00:22:22.380
Or when I would realize that I would be like

00:22:22.380 --> 00:22:24.380
kind of just overall making bad life decisions

00:22:24.380 --> 00:22:27.819
would be in a season when I was frequently turning

00:22:27.819 --> 00:22:31.980
to substances for coping. And I started realizing,

00:22:32.319 --> 00:22:37.359
wow, being in that other headspace, not being

00:22:37.359 --> 00:22:40.440
sober minded is just giving the devil a wide

00:22:40.440 --> 00:22:44.859
open door of access to me. And I am very ignorant

00:22:44.859 --> 00:22:46.980
to believe that he's not going to take advantage

00:22:46.980 --> 00:22:50.170
of that. The devil doesn't play fair. He's the

00:22:50.170 --> 00:22:52.809
father of lies. He comes to steal kill and destroy

00:22:52.809 --> 00:22:56.009
and if he has to he will wait for the opportune

00:22:56.009 --> 00:23:00.150
moment And what more opportune time than time

00:23:00.150 --> 00:23:01.789
when you're not in your right mind and when your

00:23:01.789 --> 00:23:03.950
boundaries aren't as strong As someone who back

00:23:03.950 --> 00:23:07.109
then I didn't have strong boundaries anyway So

00:23:07.109 --> 00:23:09.369
yeah, once I wasn't in my right mind. It was

00:23:09.369 --> 00:23:11.589
easy to push those boundaries and manipulate

00:23:11.589 --> 00:23:16.630
my emotions Now look back today And that was

00:23:16.630 --> 00:23:19.250
my first realization of I understand, Lord, why

00:23:19.250 --> 00:23:21.849
you call us to be sober minded. It's not because

00:23:21.849 --> 00:23:23.589
you don't want us to have fun. I used to always

00:23:23.589 --> 00:23:27.190
say, God doesn't want us to be drunk or like

00:23:27.190 --> 00:23:28.910
be high because he doesn't want us to have fun.

00:23:29.049 --> 00:23:31.849
I realize now it's like, no, it's because that

00:23:31.849 --> 00:23:34.269
is literally opening a door for the devil to

00:23:34.269 --> 00:23:36.930
come and take advantage of your life. It is opening

00:23:36.930 --> 00:23:40.549
a door for wickedness to enter your heart, to

00:23:40.549 --> 00:23:42.809
enter your life, to influence your decisions.

00:23:43.500 --> 00:23:46.299
And why give him that open door? And I started

00:23:46.299 --> 00:23:48.200
thinking about and processing it was like, why

00:23:48.200 --> 00:23:52.980
do I turn to these things? And like, what can

00:23:52.980 --> 00:23:57.339
they be replaced with? And that was when Jesus

00:23:57.339 --> 00:23:59.339
Christ had told me, I truly, and I've talked

00:23:59.339 --> 00:24:01.980
about this in podcast episodes before, I truly

00:24:01.980 --> 00:24:05.039
believe that he told me that if I, he was calling

00:24:05.039 --> 00:24:06.839
me to give those things up and trust that he

00:24:06.839 --> 00:24:08.619
was going to provide something better, that whatever

00:24:08.619 --> 00:24:11.799
he calls me to release, If I need it, he's going

00:24:11.799 --> 00:24:14.180
to provide something better in its place. And

00:24:14.180 --> 00:24:16.539
I didn't understand what that was at the time,

00:24:16.819 --> 00:24:19.519
but I soon began to recognize it as a piece that

00:24:19.519 --> 00:24:21.559
surpassed all understanding. Because for me,

00:24:21.920 --> 00:24:26.099
the substances brought me a piece, right? A detachment.

00:24:26.119 --> 00:24:30.240
That was where I escaped reality. And I started

00:24:30.240 --> 00:24:36.099
noticing after I gave those things up that they're

00:24:36.329 --> 00:24:38.250
I started running into situations that would

00:24:38.250 --> 00:24:40.490
normally trigger me to turn to those things,

00:24:40.710 --> 00:24:43.549
like extra high stress situations, high frustrating

00:24:43.549 --> 00:24:48.470
situations, where instead of turning to that,

00:24:48.490 --> 00:24:51.069
I started getting in my Bible and just reading

00:24:51.069 --> 00:24:53.049
scripture and praying, like, God deliver me from

00:24:53.049 --> 00:24:54.789
this, God give me a peace that surpasses all

00:24:54.789 --> 00:24:57.410
understanding, Jesus, I plead the blood of Jesus

00:24:57.410 --> 00:24:59.289
over me, like, I plead the blood of Jesus over

00:24:59.289 --> 00:25:02.430
my mind, protect my mind, Jesus, like. And I

00:25:02.430 --> 00:25:04.509
started, all of a sudden, getting a peace that

00:25:04.509 --> 00:25:08.210
made no sense in the situation I was in. My mind

00:25:08.210 --> 00:25:10.490
being taken off of that thing and focusing on

00:25:10.490 --> 00:25:13.650
something else. Me being able to meet a situation

00:25:13.650 --> 00:25:15.910
with love instead of anger and upset. All of

00:25:15.910 --> 00:25:18.470
a sudden, like, my behaviors slowly started,

00:25:18.569 --> 00:25:21.529
lately, they started shifting. And a lot of them

00:25:21.529 --> 00:25:23.750
were rooted in a peace that made no sense that

00:25:23.750 --> 00:25:27.150
I got from Jesus Christ. And that was when he

00:25:27.150 --> 00:25:29.390
really revealed to me, like, he's all I need.

00:25:29.769 --> 00:25:32.930
my entire life substances had been an idol for

00:25:32.930 --> 00:25:35.690
me and I felt like that was the way to handle

00:25:35.690 --> 00:25:37.829
things that was the way to control things that

00:25:37.829 --> 00:25:39.829
was the way to do things and Jesus showed me

00:25:39.829 --> 00:25:43.269
that no he is the way and I don't need any of

00:25:43.269 --> 00:25:46.190
those things and that if he's telling me that

00:25:46.190 --> 00:25:48.789
those things are a danger and harm for me I don't

00:25:48.789 --> 00:25:52.250
need to question him I need to trust him because

00:25:52.250 --> 00:25:54.089
he's been telling me when I look back for so

00:25:54.089 --> 00:25:56.410
long that these things are causing harm in your

00:25:56.410 --> 00:25:58.109
life these things are causing damage in your

00:25:58.109 --> 00:26:02.890
life You know, I grew up, again, as I said, having

00:26:02.890 --> 00:26:06.430
addicts in the family, there was one person who

00:26:06.430 --> 00:26:09.410
they kept saying that they just want to be someone

00:26:09.410 --> 00:26:11.549
who can only have one drink, who can just have

00:26:11.549 --> 00:26:13.829
a drink and have fun, and that they aspire that

00:26:13.829 --> 00:26:15.470
for the rest of the family. And I believe that

00:26:15.470 --> 00:26:18.049
they truly believe that they could reach a point

00:26:18.049 --> 00:26:20.029
where, oh yeah, I can just have a social drink

00:26:20.029 --> 00:26:23.670
and not go back to it. And my personal belief,

00:26:23.769 --> 00:26:29.109
I don't believe that. that is the good headspace

00:26:29.109 --> 00:26:31.769
to be in or the correct thinking, but that is

00:26:31.769 --> 00:26:34.490
a thought process I started adopting after hearing

00:26:34.490 --> 00:26:36.849
it for so long. I started thinking, well, maybe

00:26:36.849 --> 00:26:38.589
one day I'll be one of those people, like I can

00:26:38.589 --> 00:26:42.450
just occasionally smoke a BZ or something like

00:26:42.450 --> 00:26:45.009
that and be good. And the Lord really revealed

00:26:45.009 --> 00:26:48.289
to me, you're not one of those people. You're

00:26:48.289 --> 00:26:49.930
not one of those people and you shouldn't strive

00:26:49.930 --> 00:26:54.380
to be one of those people. Because when I look

00:26:54.380 --> 00:26:57.579
back every time I fell back into something it

00:26:57.579 --> 00:27:00.559
came from just just one time just until this

00:27:00.559 --> 00:27:03.119
runs out just until that and then I'll go back

00:27:03.119 --> 00:27:07.700
to sober lifestyle and The Lord had to instill

00:27:07.700 --> 00:27:10.980
a real conviction of me of never again, and he

00:27:10.980 --> 00:27:16.200
had taken me You know to the story of Solomon

00:27:16.200 --> 00:27:22.180
You know the Lord Really revealed to me the story

00:27:22.180 --> 00:27:25.720
of Samson. I called him Solomon at first the

00:27:25.720 --> 00:27:29.599
story of Samson and You know how he was taken

00:27:29.599 --> 00:27:32.460
down by Delilah and this has been a long time

00:27:32.460 --> 00:27:34.180
since I've read the story So I'm just coming

00:27:34.180 --> 00:27:37.140
off of off of my mental. Okay, but the Lord gave

00:27:37.140 --> 00:27:41.079
him a couple a Couple rules a couple things of

00:27:41.079 --> 00:27:43.380
like you you shall not cut your hair. You shall

00:27:43.380 --> 00:27:46.539
not you gave him a couple Covenants there were

00:27:46.539 --> 00:27:48.519
a couple covenants a couple agreements that they

00:27:48.519 --> 00:27:52.319
came into Because I was having a really hard

00:27:52.319 --> 00:27:55.039
time grasping was like well Lord scripture doesn't

00:27:55.039 --> 00:27:58.680
say that you cannot at all drink Scripture doesn't

00:27:58.680 --> 00:28:01.240
you know it says to be sober minded. It does

00:28:01.240 --> 00:28:04.099
say it's a sin to be a drunkard It does say you

00:28:04.099 --> 00:28:06.259
know to live our lives apart from the world and

00:28:06.259 --> 00:28:08.559
the world glorifies drinking the world glorifies

00:28:08.559 --> 00:28:11.559
smoking I do believe that scripture is very evident

00:28:11.559 --> 00:28:13.759
that you are not meant to be a drunkard that

00:28:13.759 --> 00:28:16.349
you are not meant to be a stoner that you are

00:28:16.349 --> 00:28:18.910
not meant to consistently be participating and

00:28:18.910 --> 00:28:20.490
partaking in these things that you're not supposed

00:28:20.490 --> 00:28:24.069
to partake to excess um you know gluttony but

00:28:24.069 --> 00:28:26.710
doesn't say that you can't partake in general

00:28:26.710 --> 00:28:30.470
just as you can't partake to excess was my first

00:28:30.470 --> 00:28:32.490
understanding of it when i was reading it's like

00:28:32.490 --> 00:28:34.390
so i'm having a hard time understanding like

00:28:34.390 --> 00:28:35.910
lord are you telling me that one day i'm going

00:28:35.910 --> 00:28:39.009
to be a person where i can every so often um

00:28:39.009 --> 00:28:41.990
partake and just not partake to excess and enjoy

00:28:41.990 --> 00:28:46.690
life in that way um is Am I misunderstanding

00:28:46.690 --> 00:28:49.869
scripture? Like, I had a really hard time because

00:28:49.869 --> 00:28:52.369
at that time, especially being very fresh in

00:28:52.369 --> 00:28:55.109
my walk with Christ, I was looking for straight

00:28:55.109 --> 00:28:58.329
up biblical accuracy, you know, and I was getting

00:28:58.329 --> 00:29:01.829
a bit overwhelmed where it was like, it felt

00:29:01.829 --> 00:29:06.650
like, wow, the life of a Proverbs 31 woman or

00:29:06.650 --> 00:29:08.890
the life of a woman of God is a lot different

00:29:08.890 --> 00:29:10.410
than the life I'm living. These are a lot of

00:29:10.410 --> 00:29:12.910
changes. How can I make all these changes immediately?

00:29:13.500 --> 00:29:16.099
there's a lot of overwhelm and one of those was

00:29:16.099 --> 00:29:17.900
that in reading scripture and when i was looking

00:29:17.900 --> 00:29:20.140
at scripture i was like so yeah scripture definitely

00:29:20.140 --> 00:29:23.039
points to moderation and points to not turning

00:29:23.039 --> 00:29:26.980
to these things as idols and not going to a space

00:29:26.980 --> 00:29:29.519
of excess and i i've seen multiple people that

00:29:29.519 --> 00:29:33.160
i believe love god and appear to um live very

00:29:33.160 --> 00:29:34.859
good christian lives i occasionally will have

00:29:34.859 --> 00:29:37.099
a glass of wine or something like that so i'm

00:29:37.099 --> 00:29:42.950
like I was having a hard time with coming to

00:29:42.950 --> 00:29:46.049
a full sobriety conviction. So the Lord brought

00:29:46.049 --> 00:29:49.930
me to that story of Samson and showed me that

00:29:49.930 --> 00:29:56.509
it is in God's character to give convictions

00:29:56.509 --> 00:29:59.230
to people of, I know other people partake in

00:29:59.230 --> 00:30:00.890
this thing, but you cannot partake in this thing.

00:30:00.970 --> 00:30:03.230
I know other people cut their hair. But you're

00:30:03.230 --> 00:30:04.869
not going to be cutting your hair. I know other

00:30:04.869 --> 00:30:06.650
people can go to funerals. You're not allowed

00:30:06.650 --> 00:30:08.250
to go to funerals. I know other people can be

00:30:08.250 --> 00:30:10.450
drinking, but you're not to drink. I know other

00:30:10.450 --> 00:30:12.029
people can do these things. You are not to be

00:30:12.029 --> 00:30:14.990
doing these things. And the Lord had really revealed

00:30:14.990 --> 00:30:17.210
to me, I know other people can go out and every

00:30:17.210 --> 00:30:19.150
so often have a glass of wine or something like

00:30:19.150 --> 00:30:20.430
that, but you're not going to be one of those

00:30:20.430 --> 00:30:24.430
people. And there is more reason, and I really,

00:30:24.630 --> 00:30:26.230
I remember writing this down in my journal so

00:30:26.230 --> 00:30:27.930
heavily, I felt like the Lord told me there's

00:30:27.930 --> 00:30:30.470
more reasons than I even realize of why He's

00:30:30.470 --> 00:30:35.539
calling me to a life of sobriety. There are more

00:30:35.539 --> 00:30:38.700
reasons now that I realized compared to back

00:30:38.700 --> 00:30:41.900
then But I'm sure that there are even more that

00:30:41.900 --> 00:30:45.119
are gonna come up in the next coming years That

00:30:45.119 --> 00:30:47.539
I don't recognize and I'm gonna be like, oh lord

00:30:47.539 --> 00:30:49.799
that made a lot of sense. I felt like he really

00:30:49.799 --> 00:30:54.819
told me that just If I trust him Believe him

00:30:54.819 --> 00:30:58.460
when he is saying that I have to be 100 % sober

00:30:59.980 --> 00:31:02.460
for the rest of my life like that that is where

00:31:02.460 --> 00:31:04.500
I'm striving for superiority for the rest of

00:31:04.500 --> 00:31:10.519
my life and just trust His guidance and that

00:31:10.519 --> 00:31:14.599
and He has done amazing things in my life and

00:31:14.599 --> 00:31:18.660
trusting in that guidance I'll say that 100 %

00:31:18.660 --> 00:31:24.039
and That isn't saying that temptation hasn't

00:31:24.039 --> 00:31:27.359
followed because oftentimes after we hear from

00:31:27.359 --> 00:31:30.799
God there is a temptation to go in the other

00:31:30.799 --> 00:31:33.319
direction and to believe that maybe we didn't

00:31:33.319 --> 00:31:36.480
hear from God. Maybe what we thought we heard

00:31:36.480 --> 00:31:41.619
isn't what we heard. And I got hit with a lot

00:31:41.619 --> 00:31:45.460
of temptation to go back to the person I was.

00:31:45.579 --> 00:31:49.460
After I got that sobriety conviction, I was still

00:31:49.460 --> 00:31:52.880
in California. And you know what was less than

00:31:52.880 --> 00:31:56.539
a hundred feet away from me? A smoke shop. Where

00:31:56.539 --> 00:31:58.940
they leave a dispensary where they leave and

00:31:58.940 --> 00:32:01.980
it's dispensary both back next to each other

00:32:01.980 --> 00:32:05.859
where it's totally legal Where you can go in

00:32:05.859 --> 00:32:08.940
anytime you want and get it anytime you want

00:32:08.940 --> 00:32:13.799
And when the Lord called me to come back to Indiana

00:32:13.799 --> 00:32:17.339
I knew that going back to my hometown meant I

00:32:17.339 --> 00:32:21.619
was going back to be around all of my old temptations

00:32:21.930 --> 00:32:25.190
Going back to my hometown, this was the town

00:32:25.190 --> 00:32:28.170
that I ran around and partied at. This was the

00:32:28.170 --> 00:32:30.369
town where all the people that I partied with,

00:32:30.549 --> 00:32:33.430
many still dwell. This is the town where there

00:32:33.430 --> 00:32:36.250
are many people who I grew up watching them in

00:32:36.250 --> 00:32:39.589
addiction are still in addiction. When I came

00:32:39.589 --> 00:32:43.390
back here, I was very quickly offered beers and

00:32:43.390 --> 00:32:46.769
offered things like that and I had to say no.

00:32:47.710 --> 00:32:50.529
I had to turn them down. When I was pursuing

00:32:51.480 --> 00:32:54.240
groups of people like when I was pursuing new

00:32:54.240 --> 00:32:56.160
friend groups Christian friend groups, I found

00:32:56.160 --> 00:32:57.980
myself a couple times in settings where they

00:32:57.980 --> 00:33:02.000
were drinking and I was the only person not drinking

00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:04.400
and I'll be honest. I didn't end up staying with

00:33:04.400 --> 00:33:08.779
those groups. I did move forward, but the Lord

00:33:08.779 --> 00:33:10.200
really revealed to me that those weren't the

00:33:10.200 --> 00:33:14.859
groups for me to be in. But I found myself in

00:33:14.859 --> 00:33:16.900
scenarios where other Christians were doing it,

00:33:17.940 --> 00:33:23.240
but I still had to say no. You know, I've talked

00:33:23.240 --> 00:33:26.099
before about how the Lord delivered me from nicotine

00:33:26.099 --> 00:33:32.259
I live around people right now that are I smell

00:33:32.259 --> 00:33:35.140
Nicotine every single day are consistently still

00:33:35.140 --> 00:33:39.680
using nicotine And I have to consistently I've

00:33:39.680 --> 00:33:41.859
been free of nicotine for over a year now and

00:33:41.859 --> 00:33:44.480
I have to consistently Make that choice to not

00:33:44.480 --> 00:33:46.799
partake in that and to not participate in that

00:33:46.799 --> 00:33:50.400
And I'm telling y 'all that this Would not be

00:33:50.400 --> 00:33:54.970
possible Without Jesus Christ because every time

00:33:54.970 --> 00:33:56.950
in the past y 'all that I have tried to turn

00:33:56.950 --> 00:33:59.589
away from nicotine Try to turn away from substances.

00:33:59.630 --> 00:34:02.109
I ended up going back because there was nothing

00:34:02.109 --> 00:34:06.759
to replace them because it for me It was so many

00:34:06.759 --> 00:34:08.760
things. Substances for me was an escape from

00:34:08.760 --> 00:34:10.739
emotions. It was an escape from boredom. It was

00:34:10.739 --> 00:34:13.099
a way to have fun. It was a way that I just knew

00:34:13.099 --> 00:34:15.480
to cope in my daily life. It was a way that I

00:34:15.480 --> 00:34:17.500
thought brought out more of my personality. It

00:34:17.500 --> 00:34:21.179
was so many things for me. It was such an idol

00:34:21.179 --> 00:34:24.000
in my life and it was so many different things

00:34:24.000 --> 00:34:29.420
for me. Anything! Like it seems like the most

00:34:29.420 --> 00:34:32.960
random opportunities or the most random situations.

00:34:33.309 --> 00:34:37.510
would be open doors for me to go back. And the

00:34:37.510 --> 00:34:41.989
only reason why I have consistently lived a sober

00:34:41.989 --> 00:34:45.230
lifestyle now is because of Jesus Christ, and

00:34:45.230 --> 00:34:46.989
he has given me that replacement. He has given

00:34:46.989 --> 00:34:48.809
me a peace that surpasses all understanding.

00:34:49.250 --> 00:34:53.429
He has given me a joy. I know who I am in Christ.

00:34:53.469 --> 00:34:58.550
I know my identity in Christ. He has given me

00:34:58.550 --> 00:35:02.360
the strength to say no. times of testing and

00:35:02.360 --> 00:35:06.960
times of temptation He has given me multiple

00:35:06.960 --> 00:35:09.800
like I've said already Times where I look back

00:35:09.800 --> 00:35:11.380
and I'm like, oh my gosh, this is why I needed

00:35:11.380 --> 00:35:13.860
to be so reminded This is why you've called me

00:35:13.860 --> 00:35:16.260
away from that Lord Jesus. It makes so much sense.

00:35:17.360 --> 00:35:21.179
I Have seen the goodness of God and the glory

00:35:21.179 --> 00:35:24.420
of God and I'm telling y 'all that this isn't

00:35:24.420 --> 00:35:30.099
this wasn't a night and day process like when

00:35:30.099 --> 00:35:33.980
I look back Yes, when when the Lord revealed

00:35:33.980 --> 00:35:38.659
to me that You know, I had to drop the substances

00:35:38.659 --> 00:35:41.460
and everything that wasn't in the moment decision

00:35:41.460 --> 00:35:43.679
or that night Okay, threw it all the way when

00:35:43.679 --> 00:35:45.780
I look back. It was a long time leading up to

00:35:45.780 --> 00:35:49.280
that because it was a long time of multiple different

00:35:49.280 --> 00:35:53.039
instances of Trying to give it up myself and

00:35:53.039 --> 00:35:55.409
not being able to do it trying to walk away and

00:35:55.409 --> 00:35:57.050
not being able to do it so that way i i could

00:35:57.050 --> 00:35:59.090
look back and say okay yeah i tried all these

00:35:59.090 --> 00:36:01.130
other times and it's very evident that i could

00:36:01.130 --> 00:36:03.630
not do it on my own strength it's very evident

00:36:03.630 --> 00:36:06.309
the difference like god's hand and god's strength

00:36:06.309 --> 00:36:09.570
made in the situation if i wouldn't have had

00:36:09.570 --> 00:36:11.210
all those times of trying to do it on my own

00:36:11.210 --> 00:36:13.849
i wouldn't have been able to compare um how different

00:36:13.849 --> 00:36:16.289
it was having god's hand god's strength god's

00:36:16.289 --> 00:36:19.329
influence in the situation You know, if I wouldn't

00:36:19.329 --> 00:36:23.849
have made so many mistakes and had so many ruined

00:36:23.849 --> 00:36:26.389
situations and ruined relationships, so many

00:36:26.389 --> 00:36:28.690
things I can look back and attribute to substance

00:36:28.690 --> 00:36:32.309
use. You know, if I wouldn't have had those things,

00:36:32.670 --> 00:36:34.809
I wouldn't have been able to say, yeah, that

00:36:34.809 --> 00:36:36.949
is a damaging thing in my life. And honestly,

00:36:37.050 --> 00:36:39.329
I was one of those people that I had to have

00:36:39.329 --> 00:36:41.550
evidence that the past wasn't working to believe

00:36:41.550 --> 00:36:45.269
that the past wasn't working. God knows us. He

00:36:45.269 --> 00:36:47.769
knows what we need to let go of the past and

00:36:47.769 --> 00:36:49.909
I was one of those people that it had to crash

00:36:49.909 --> 00:36:53.449
and burn I had to see that it was bad for me

00:36:53.449 --> 00:36:56.230
and I had to see that it wasn't the right path

00:36:56.230 --> 00:37:01.250
I wasn't in a space of walking by faith And that's

00:37:01.250 --> 00:37:02.909
one thing I've seen that the Lord has done so

00:37:02.909 --> 00:37:06.650
differently. I'm not saying every time now I

00:37:06.650 --> 00:37:09.650
Repent for this and I confess this out loud that

00:37:09.650 --> 00:37:11.530
there is sometimes when God tells me something

00:37:11.530 --> 00:37:13.889
that like I start overthinking it and I'm like

00:37:15.230 --> 00:37:17.210
Instead of just immediately jumping and walking

00:37:17.210 --> 00:37:18.969
by faith I start trying to think well, why would

00:37:18.969 --> 00:37:21.429
God call me to this? What what what is there

00:37:21.429 --> 00:37:23.650
behind this what could come of this? What is?

00:37:24.230 --> 00:37:26.250
When he didn't ask me to question he just asked

00:37:26.250 --> 00:37:29.690
me to do And there are a lot of things now that

00:37:29.690 --> 00:37:32.829
when he calls me and asked me to do I do I do

00:37:32.829 --> 00:37:35.110
I am saying that y 'all sometimes I do still

00:37:35.110 --> 00:37:37.170
have that pop in my head of okay But what about

00:37:37.170 --> 00:37:39.510
this and what about this? What will come of this?

00:37:40.650 --> 00:37:42.469
I'm gonna tell y 'all straight up a couple years

00:37:42.469 --> 00:37:48.170
ago I would need track records, track history.

00:37:49.550 --> 00:37:52.369
I wasn't walking by faith. So the Lord allowed

00:37:52.369 --> 00:37:55.650
me to wrap up a track record of these idols not

00:37:55.650 --> 00:37:57.710
working and these things not working. By the

00:37:57.710 --> 00:38:01.429
time I gave my life to Christ and decided to

00:38:01.429 --> 00:38:03.449
live a life of sobriety, decided to turn away

00:38:03.449 --> 00:38:06.090
from New Age spirituality, decided to turn away

00:38:06.090 --> 00:38:10.389
from getting my fulfillment from attention and

00:38:10.389 --> 00:38:14.510
validation and all that, I had already had Decades

00:38:14.510 --> 00:38:17.190
of consistently trying it and it not working.

00:38:17.190 --> 00:38:19.869
I had decades worth of trial and error It wasn't

00:38:19.869 --> 00:38:22.130
like this was my life for two weeks or two months

00:38:22.130 --> 00:38:26.929
It was my entire life which at the same time

00:38:26.929 --> 00:38:29.809
Felt so risky to me when I was giving my life

00:38:29.809 --> 00:38:32.489
to Christ because I was like Lord giving my life

00:38:32.489 --> 00:38:36.030
to you is literally giving everything that I

00:38:36.030 --> 00:38:39.409
know up Like I'm literally walking into a complete

00:38:39.409 --> 00:38:41.969
unknown. I am letting go of everything that I

00:38:41.969 --> 00:38:45.179
know everything that brought me peace everything

00:38:45.179 --> 00:38:47.219
that brought me comfort everything that brought

00:38:47.219 --> 00:38:50.199
me a sense of self everything that brought me

00:38:50.199 --> 00:38:55.460
a sense of control and i'm having to trust that

00:38:55.460 --> 00:38:58.920
number one you're real and that you're actually

00:38:58.920 --> 00:39:00.920
going to take care of this this was an interesting

00:39:00.920 --> 00:39:05.239
thing that i was talking to um there was this

00:39:05.239 --> 00:39:08.099
little church group that i met last week that

00:39:08.099 --> 00:39:10.860
i went out to dinner with and um they were listening

00:39:10.860 --> 00:39:12.960
to my testimonies and I told them that there

00:39:12.960 --> 00:39:16.860
was a point um soon before I gave my life to

00:39:16.860 --> 00:39:20.880
Christ I felt like I was going crazy um because

00:39:20.880 --> 00:39:23.440
I was you know in the I was living in the middle

00:39:23.440 --> 00:39:27.619
of the desert um I had at this time it was right

00:39:27.619 --> 00:39:29.539
before I threw out the tarot cards and threw

00:39:29.539 --> 00:39:34.949
out the sub like the open doors But I had already

00:39:34.949 --> 00:39:36.610
stopped doing it. So I went through this weird

00:39:36.610 --> 00:39:39.389
time period. It was August that I stopped reading

00:39:39.389 --> 00:39:43.289
tarot cards for people. And it was late August,

00:39:43.510 --> 00:39:45.429
beginning of September that I stopped reading

00:39:45.429 --> 00:39:48.829
them for myself. And then I went through a couple

00:39:48.829 --> 00:39:51.110
weeks period where they were just like sitting

00:39:51.110 --> 00:39:54.750
there. And, you know, at this time I was really

00:39:54.750 --> 00:39:56.989
in my Bible, I was really in my scripture. And

00:39:56.989 --> 00:39:58.849
same with I'd stopped smoking, but things were

00:39:58.849 --> 00:40:01.820
just sitting there. So they weren't being used,

00:40:01.840 --> 00:40:04.280
but they weren't being thrown away. And those

00:40:04.280 --> 00:40:06.320
were still open doors because keeping those in

00:40:06.320 --> 00:40:08.420
my possession, I still had the opportunity to

00:40:08.420 --> 00:40:10.860
go back to those things. I wasn't throwing them

00:40:10.860 --> 00:40:13.420
out because I wasn't totally putting my faith

00:40:13.420 --> 00:40:15.079
that God was going to bring something better

00:40:15.079 --> 00:40:17.820
in my life. You know, I was holding onto those

00:40:17.820 --> 00:40:19.539
cards because in the back of my mind, what if

00:40:19.539 --> 00:40:21.360
God doesn't come through and what if this isn't

00:40:21.360 --> 00:40:23.679
real and I have to turn back to those? I don't

00:40:23.679 --> 00:40:26.019
have the money to go out and buy new sets. So

00:40:26.019 --> 00:40:28.860
I got to keep those. Like that was where my mind

00:40:28.860 --> 00:40:31.889
was at. I went through a couple, I went through

00:40:31.889 --> 00:40:35.230
that weird kind of period. And it was while I

00:40:35.230 --> 00:40:37.610
was in that weird period that God was working

00:40:37.610 --> 00:40:40.210
on my heart to get me to make the faith move

00:40:40.210 --> 00:40:42.369
of throwing those things out and putting my full

00:40:42.369 --> 00:40:45.670
faith in him. And I remember having one day and

00:40:45.670 --> 00:40:47.690
this was a day when I had been waiting on God's

00:40:47.690 --> 00:40:50.170
provision and I was still looking around and

00:40:50.170 --> 00:40:51.690
I felt like it wasn't going to come and I was

00:40:51.690 --> 00:40:56.690
weary, I was tired, I was hungry. And I really

00:40:57.179 --> 00:40:59.760
felt my mind just being attacked and I was I

00:40:59.760 --> 00:41:01.820
was telling these people about this that like

00:41:01.820 --> 00:41:03.699
I was sitting there and I literally started thinking

00:41:03.699 --> 00:41:05.679
I was going crazy and I started thinking to myself

00:41:05.679 --> 00:41:08.119
am I really hearing from God have I really heard

00:41:08.119 --> 00:41:11.599
from God or am I just kind of going crazy am

00:41:11.599 --> 00:41:15.780
I about to throw away everything from my life

00:41:15.780 --> 00:41:19.260
before am I about to throw all of these things

00:41:19.260 --> 00:41:23.039
away and I just die here like that was where

00:41:23.039 --> 00:41:25.199
my mind was going whereas like if God doesn't

00:41:25.199 --> 00:41:27.420
come through and I'm waiting on his provision,

00:41:27.440 --> 00:41:30.739
I'm gonna die if he doesn't. Like that was, and

00:41:30.739 --> 00:41:34.340
that honestly, when I look logically at like

00:41:34.340 --> 00:41:36.780
the moves God was calling me to make, I was truly

00:41:36.780 --> 00:41:39.599
sitting and waiting on him to make a move. He

00:41:39.599 --> 00:41:41.820
had told me to wait on him, don't try to create

00:41:41.820 --> 00:41:43.860
it for myself, just continue to pursue the kingdom

00:41:43.860 --> 00:41:46.760
of heaven. And I didn't fully understand what

00:41:46.760 --> 00:41:49.619
that meant at the time, you know? So when he

00:41:49.619 --> 00:41:51.159
called me to take actions, I was kind of like,

00:41:51.340 --> 00:41:54.639
okay, Lord. I see that now was, you know, faith

00:41:54.639 --> 00:41:56.840
that works is dead and that was still seeking

00:41:56.840 --> 00:42:00.239
births of kingdom. But I had a period where I

00:42:00.239 --> 00:42:02.719
was like, well, God's calling me to close these

00:42:02.719 --> 00:42:05.599
doors and throw these things out and all of this.

00:42:06.280 --> 00:42:11.019
Like, what if the provision doesn't come? What

00:42:11.019 --> 00:42:14.820
if these things don't come? Like, what do I do

00:42:14.820 --> 00:42:18.800
then? And I started crying out to Lord where

00:42:18.800 --> 00:42:21.829
I was like, Lord, I need you. if you are real

00:42:21.829 --> 00:42:24.170
and you love me, like I'm about to break down.

00:42:24.269 --> 00:42:25.969
I hit a point where I was about to track myself

00:42:25.969 --> 00:42:28.889
into a mental health facility because I was that

00:42:28.889 --> 00:42:32.469
worried of my mental headspace. And I was like,

00:42:32.550 --> 00:42:35.820
God, I need to see something from you. food,

00:42:36.019 --> 00:42:37.860
something, some kind of provision, just so I

00:42:37.860 --> 00:42:40.619
know. And y 'all, it wasn't even like 10 or 15

00:42:40.619 --> 00:42:42.679
minutes later that some random person came up

00:42:42.679 --> 00:42:44.559
to me and was like, you look hungry, I'm buying

00:42:44.559 --> 00:42:46.360
you a meal, what do you want to eat? And ended

00:42:46.360 --> 00:42:48.340
up getting me like, Philly cheesesteak sandwich,

00:42:48.679 --> 00:42:51.199
and like a big cinnamon roll, and it was good

00:42:51.199 --> 00:42:54.659
food. And I was just breaking down crying that

00:42:54.659 --> 00:42:56.659
night, glorifying God, because it was like, he

00:42:56.659 --> 00:42:59.019
cares, and he is listening, and he is there,

00:42:59.019 --> 00:43:01.280
and it solidified my faith in him. And I was

00:43:01.280 --> 00:43:06.280
able then, soon, There were a couple other things

00:43:06.280 --> 00:43:08.900
that happened where I completely surrendered

00:43:08.900 --> 00:43:10.980
and threw all those things away and closed those

00:43:10.980 --> 00:43:14.900
doors and Maybe you listening to this podcast

00:43:14.900 --> 00:43:17.440
say you need to hear that that it is so important

00:43:17.440 --> 00:43:20.420
to close doors when you're leaving When you feel

00:43:20.420 --> 00:43:22.579
God convict you of something and you know he

00:43:22.579 --> 00:43:24.800
has told you that that thing is not good for

00:43:24.800 --> 00:43:26.219
you, that thing is not healthy for you to leave

00:43:26.219 --> 00:43:28.059
it behind, it's important to completely close

00:43:28.059 --> 00:43:30.460
the door. At the time when I threw away tarot

00:43:30.460 --> 00:43:31.920
cards and threw away all those things, I kept

00:43:31.920 --> 00:43:33.519
reading the scripture where it was like if your

00:43:33.519 --> 00:43:36.699
hand causes you to sin, cut it off. If your eye

00:43:36.699 --> 00:43:38.480
causes you to sin, pluck it out. It's better

00:43:38.480 --> 00:43:40.619
that you enter to heaven without an eye or an

00:43:40.619 --> 00:43:45.630
arm than to go to hell with your full body. And

00:43:45.630 --> 00:43:46.969
I started thinking about that and I was like,

00:43:47.130 --> 00:43:48.909
these tarot cards are going to be a cause to

00:43:48.909 --> 00:43:51.550
sin one day. One day there's going to be a stressor

00:43:51.550 --> 00:43:53.750
that comes in. One day there's going to be something

00:43:53.750 --> 00:43:55.769
that triggers me to go back to these things.

00:43:55.829 --> 00:43:57.670
And I'm going to go back to those things because

00:43:57.670 --> 00:43:59.550
they're sitting here right next to me. So I'm

00:43:59.550 --> 00:44:02.030
going to throw those away so that way in my time

00:44:02.030 --> 00:44:03.909
of weakness, I don't go back to those things.

00:44:03.909 --> 00:44:08.250
I go to God. And I'm going to throw away my,

00:44:08.250 --> 00:44:10.829
you know, my little grinder and everything like

00:44:10.829 --> 00:44:12.889
that. That was for the marijuana. I'm going to

00:44:12.889 --> 00:44:16.320
throw that away. So that way when I have the

00:44:16.320 --> 00:44:19.860
temptation to go and buy I don't have any of

00:44:19.860 --> 00:44:23.699
the supplies to use it I don't it's too much

00:44:23.699 --> 00:44:26.099
money. It's not it would be an inconvenience

00:44:26.099 --> 00:44:28.440
Like I'm gonna do what I can to inconvenience

00:44:28.440 --> 00:44:30.500
myself to that sense that way when the sin comes

00:44:30.500 --> 00:44:34.780
in It's not easy to jump into it And I recognize

00:44:34.780 --> 00:44:36.980
that what I was doing up until that point was

00:44:36.980 --> 00:44:40.219
I was trying to make it easy So that way if God's

00:44:40.219 --> 00:44:43.710
way didn't work out I could easily go back To

00:44:43.710 --> 00:44:46.349
my life before and god was calling me to not

00:44:46.349 --> 00:44:49.349
make it easy to go back to in fact make it very

00:44:49.349 --> 00:44:56.170
difficult to go to go back And glory be to god

00:44:56.170 --> 00:45:02.670
i'm telling you all today That These things came

00:45:02.670 --> 00:45:06.650
through Submitting and surrendering to jesus.

00:45:06.650 --> 00:45:08.610
They didn't come through. I want to make this

00:45:08.610 --> 00:45:13.039
very clear y 'all when I Was at this point I

00:45:13.039 --> 00:45:16.000
wasn't going to church daily because I was in

00:45:16.000 --> 00:45:18.980
the desert in California. I wasn't just getting

00:45:18.980 --> 00:45:21.699
Friends and family talking about Jesus to me

00:45:21.699 --> 00:45:25.900
because I wasn't talking to anybody Okay, I wasn't

00:45:25.900 --> 00:45:28.460
this wasn't from just me listening to daily sermons

00:45:28.460 --> 00:45:30.239
because I wasn't on my phone whatsoever It's

00:45:30.239 --> 00:45:31.719
conserving my phone battery what I was doing

00:45:31.719 --> 00:45:33.940
during this time period was I was in my Bible

00:45:33.940 --> 00:45:35.820
like 12 hours a day I was just sitting there

00:45:35.820 --> 00:45:37.280
reading my Bible because I had nothing else to

00:45:37.280 --> 00:45:40.260
do I was consistently in my word and I was praying

00:45:40.260 --> 00:45:44.179
every day. And through that time, the Lord really

00:45:44.179 --> 00:45:48.380
revealed to me that I needed to fully surrender

00:45:48.380 --> 00:45:51.219
and submit. I remember it was over a year ago

00:45:51.219 --> 00:45:53.340
now, I believe it was September 28th, I wrote

00:45:53.340 --> 00:45:58.420
in my journal. And this was the day, like this

00:45:58.420 --> 00:46:00.579
was after I threw all the tarot cards and everything

00:46:00.579 --> 00:46:03.420
away that I wrote down, I fully submit and surrender

00:46:03.420 --> 00:46:05.420
my life to the Lord. And I knew in that moment

00:46:05.420 --> 00:46:09.460
that what that meant was I am going to put my

00:46:09.460 --> 00:46:14.980
understanding aside. I am going to put my fleshly

00:46:14.980 --> 00:46:20.219
desires aside. I am going to put what I want

00:46:20.219 --> 00:46:26.059
aside and I am going to elevate you, Lord. It

00:46:26.059 --> 00:46:28.519
is your understanding not mine. If you tell me

00:46:28.519 --> 00:46:31.340
to jump, I will jump. You tell me to jump, I

00:46:31.340 --> 00:46:33.949
will jump. How high? How high? I'm not going

00:46:33.949 --> 00:46:35.670
to sit here and question, why do you want me

00:46:35.670 --> 00:46:37.630
to jump? I'm not going to explain to you why

00:46:37.630 --> 00:46:39.889
I shouldn't be jumping. I'm not going to look

00:46:39.889 --> 00:46:42.070
for other ways to walk instead of jump. You tell

00:46:42.070 --> 00:46:44.929
me to jump, I'm going to jump. You tell me to

00:46:44.929 --> 00:46:47.250
cut off this person. This is an unhealthy relationship

00:46:47.250 --> 00:46:48.929
and unhealthy connection. I'm going to trust

00:46:48.929 --> 00:46:51.710
you. Lord, if you want me to be single for the

00:46:51.710 --> 00:46:53.510
rest of my life because that's the best way I

00:46:53.510 --> 00:46:55.510
can grow in closeness with you, I'm going to

00:46:55.510 --> 00:46:58.639
do that. Lord, you tell me where to work. Lord,

00:46:58.739 --> 00:47:01.219
you tell me what to do with my life. Lord, you

00:47:01.219 --> 00:47:04.360
reveal to me my callings. It is no longer my

00:47:04.360 --> 00:47:06.260
desire. I know that I want all these things for

00:47:06.260 --> 00:47:08.800
myself, but obviously all of these desires have

00:47:08.800 --> 00:47:11.980
gotten me to the point I'm at. So the first time

00:47:11.980 --> 00:47:16.460
in my life, I'm going to truly elevate you and

00:47:16.460 --> 00:47:21.139
submit myself. The Lord called me to do some

00:47:21.139 --> 00:47:24.260
things that... Real big leaps of faith that felt

00:47:24.260 --> 00:47:26.260
scary. It wasn't too long after that that the

00:47:26.260 --> 00:47:28.679
Lord called me to give the last ten dollars I

00:47:28.679 --> 00:47:32.400
had Away to this man. I thought was homeless

00:47:32.400 --> 00:47:35.719
In the past I would have never done that if I

00:47:35.719 --> 00:47:37.780
felt that called to me I would have explained

00:47:37.780 --> 00:47:40.219
it away and said that's not rational Actually,

00:47:40.219 --> 00:47:42.519
that's probably the devil talking to me. That's

00:47:42.519 --> 00:47:45.559
probably when if I held up to scripture It is

00:47:45.559 --> 00:47:48.239
scripturally bad giving that person had appeared

00:47:48.239 --> 00:47:50.900
to have less than I did I wasn't withholding.

00:47:50.920 --> 00:47:55.440
I was giving to him. When I held up to scripture,

00:47:55.500 --> 00:47:56.960
it was like, no, I don't think the devil is going

00:47:56.960 --> 00:48:00.119
to call me to be generous and be denying myself

00:48:00.119 --> 00:48:01.820
and giving to this person up here to have less

00:48:01.820 --> 00:48:04.199
than me. And the Lord used the act of obedience

00:48:04.199 --> 00:48:06.699
to bless me with the money I needed to move back

00:48:06.699 --> 00:48:11.000
to Indiana. Now, when I was driving back to Indiana,

00:48:11.719 --> 00:48:15.639
rationally, it didn't make sense. because it

00:48:15.639 --> 00:48:17.440
didn't appear to be enough money to pay for all

00:48:17.440 --> 00:48:19.320
the gas if i did the math with all the miles

00:48:19.320 --> 00:48:22.500
and the food and everything along the way but

00:48:22.500 --> 00:48:24.539
as i was driving the lord told me just continue

00:48:24.539 --> 00:48:26.619
to drive and trust i'll make way and he kept

00:48:26.619 --> 00:48:28.519
reminding me of the story of jesus feeding the

00:48:28.519 --> 00:48:30.800
five thousand how they made the five thousand

00:48:30.800 --> 00:48:34.820
how they made the couple loaves of bread and

00:48:34.820 --> 00:48:39.199
the couple fish who exceedingly and abundantly

00:48:39.199 --> 00:48:41.860
feed five thousand people not only did jesus

00:48:41.860 --> 00:48:43.969
make it stretch for five thousand people But

00:48:43.969 --> 00:48:45.769
when they were done, there were multiple liquor

00:48:45.769 --> 00:48:47.989
baskets left over. Y 'all, when I got back to

00:48:47.989 --> 00:48:53.530
Indiana, I still have over $40 left cash. There

00:48:53.530 --> 00:48:55.610
was one point I was driving when I didn't have

00:48:55.610 --> 00:48:58.250
to stop and fill up for close to like 500 miles.

00:48:59.150 --> 00:49:01.889
When my car does not hold 500 miles worth of

00:49:01.889 --> 00:49:09.349
gas, like it made no sense. So up until that

00:49:09.349 --> 00:49:11.469
point, I had done the thing of I was raised,

00:49:11.489 --> 00:49:14.280
I was going to Catholic Masses. when I was growing

00:49:14.280 --> 00:49:16.659
up. I was going to mass. I was in the CCD classes.

00:49:16.699 --> 00:49:18.480
I was baptized. I thought I knew the word of

00:49:18.480 --> 00:49:20.559
the Lord. I was praying to him every so often.

00:49:20.900 --> 00:49:22.239
There were some things I was doing in my life

00:49:22.239 --> 00:49:24.000
that I felt like were kind of like Christ -like.

00:49:26.800 --> 00:49:31.070
But I had never submitted. the way that I had

00:49:31.070 --> 00:49:33.570
submitted. And when I looked back, the Lord allowed

00:49:33.570 --> 00:49:36.150
me to get to that point because I was not going

00:49:36.150 --> 00:49:39.010
to submit to Him a minute before. If I still

00:49:39.010 --> 00:49:42.369
felt like my own ways were working, my own understanding

00:49:42.369 --> 00:49:44.369
was working, my own control, I would not have

00:49:44.369 --> 00:49:47.119
had the humble heart I did. I shared this in

00:49:47.119 --> 00:49:49.300
previous episodes that I did not feel like I

00:49:49.300 --> 00:49:51.260
needed a savior from myself, I felt like I needed

00:49:51.260 --> 00:49:53.599
a savior from an unjust world, I felt like I

00:49:53.599 --> 00:49:55.159
needed a savior from other people, that there

00:49:55.159 --> 00:49:57.460
was all this wickedness running around, but that

00:49:57.460 --> 00:49:59.800
my intentions were pure, my intentions were good,

00:49:59.880 --> 00:50:02.719
God knows my heart, I'm just doing my best, I'm

00:50:02.719 --> 00:50:06.039
not hurting nobody. Like all of that, right?

00:50:07.699 --> 00:50:10.039
And the word finally allowed me to get to a point

00:50:10.039 --> 00:50:13.320
where I None of my ways were working and where

00:50:13.320 --> 00:50:15.099
I was looking around like okay The only way out

00:50:15.099 --> 00:50:17.679
is another way and where I finally was able to

00:50:17.679 --> 00:50:20.820
humble my heart and say it's the Jesus way I'm

00:50:20.820 --> 00:50:22.800
telling y 'all today that the Jesus way led to

00:50:22.800 --> 00:50:26.199
sobriety for me. I want to circle this back so

00:50:26.199 --> 00:50:31.179
we started off with No, I'm well well over a

00:50:31.179 --> 00:50:38.659
year sober now of marijuana close to two years

00:50:38.659 --> 00:50:43.340
alcohol Well over a year nicotine, and I do not

00:50:43.340 --> 00:50:49.820
intend to ever go back I'm never going back I've

00:50:49.820 --> 00:50:51.320
shared on here multiple times before that when

00:50:51.320 --> 00:50:53.059
I get married one day. It's gonna be a sober

00:50:53.059 --> 00:50:56.559
wedding. It's gonna be a dry wedding The one

00:50:56.559 --> 00:50:58.559
I'm throwing the holidays and everything like

00:50:58.559 --> 00:51:00.679
that people come over expect it to be a sober

00:51:00.679 --> 00:51:04.679
one Expected to be a sober one Well, I think

00:51:04.679 --> 00:51:08.139
that's I'm not gonna be having alcohol just for

00:51:08.139 --> 00:51:10.760
a wine time and chill times in my house like

00:51:10.760 --> 00:51:13.539
that That's not the temptation isn't gonna live

00:51:13.539 --> 00:51:16.400
in my house. The temptation isn't gonna live

00:51:16.400 --> 00:51:22.119
in my celebrations I'm keeping to this covenant

00:51:22.119 --> 00:51:24.380
with the Lord. I'm keeping to the saying that

00:51:24.380 --> 00:51:27.940
he has called me to and I have seen firsthand

00:51:27.940 --> 00:51:30.739
how it has truly impacted my life. It has really

00:51:30.739 --> 00:51:33.300
shifted, I'm telling y 'all, the type of people

00:51:33.300 --> 00:51:35.179
I attract into my life. Because what you have

00:51:35.179 --> 00:51:37.760
in common with people is kind of the people that

00:51:37.760 --> 00:51:40.219
you attract. And I no longer have going out to

00:51:40.219 --> 00:51:42.380
the bars and drinking and smoking in common with

00:51:42.380 --> 00:51:46.199
people. And that weeds out a lot of people. Weeds

00:51:46.199 --> 00:51:48.139
out a lot of people. When that's not what you

00:51:48.139 --> 00:51:51.599
want to do on a Friday or Saturday night, that

00:51:51.599 --> 00:51:54.320
weeds out a lot of people. When that's not even

00:51:54.320 --> 00:51:56.960
what you want to do for fun on a weekend, like...

00:51:56.940 --> 00:51:59.719
um hang out or anything like that that weeds

00:51:59.719 --> 00:52:03.579
out a lot of people the type of things that you

00:52:03.579 --> 00:52:07.579
start condoning it weeds out a lot of people

00:52:07.579 --> 00:52:10.880
literally choosing the sober lifestyle has radically

00:52:10.880 --> 00:52:14.639
shifted um the type of company i keep in my life

00:52:14.639 --> 00:52:17.679
has radically shifted the events i go to that

00:52:17.679 --> 00:52:21.219
i find fun i used to go out to the bars on the

00:52:21.219 --> 00:52:23.099
weekends i used to go out to the clubs i used

00:52:23.099 --> 00:52:25.940
to go out to i don't go out to any of those anymore

00:52:26.599 --> 00:52:28.820
catch me going out to bible study and young adult

00:52:28.820 --> 00:52:32.780
nights 100 percent maybe a sporting event maybe

00:52:32.780 --> 00:52:36.599
going to a museum but you're not catching me

00:52:36.599 --> 00:52:39.019
going to these places that are also hubs for

00:52:39.019 --> 00:52:42.380
lust and fornication and idolatry and just all

00:52:42.380 --> 00:52:45.900
these other things sobriety has completely changed

00:52:45.900 --> 00:52:48.599
the direction i go and sobriety has allowed me

00:52:48.599 --> 00:52:52.840
to um Hold positions. I was able to hold positions

00:52:52.840 --> 00:52:55.579
before I'm saying just nicotine itself Not having

00:52:55.579 --> 00:52:58.079
nicotine has opened not being a nicotine addict

00:52:58.079 --> 00:53:00.739
anymore has opened up many many doors for me

00:53:00.739 --> 00:53:02.880
Because I used to only look at jobs where I could

00:53:02.880 --> 00:53:06.360
take breaks and go like vape Even when I would

00:53:06.360 --> 00:53:08.139
travel places. I didn't want to fly I want to

00:53:08.139 --> 00:53:09.739
drive so that way I could hit my vape along the

00:53:09.739 --> 00:53:12.679
way I Wouldn't go to events that were longer

00:53:12.679 --> 00:53:14.039
than an hour because I wouldn't be able to hit

00:53:14.039 --> 00:53:18.500
my vape And now I can work like eight -hour shifts

00:53:19.219 --> 00:53:22.139
and not need to leave for that reason whatsoever

00:53:22.139 --> 00:53:24.159
i can go to events and not need to leave for

00:53:24.159 --> 00:53:26.460
that reason whatsoever i can go stay places i

00:53:26.460 --> 00:53:28.860
can go do whatever it has opened up so many doors

00:53:28.860 --> 00:53:31.639
not having that thing telling me like tick tick

00:53:31.639 --> 00:53:34.780
go outside time's ticking go outside go hit the

00:53:34.780 --> 00:53:37.539
vape go hit this go do that i'm not wasting my

00:53:37.539 --> 00:53:39.500
money i'm not spending my money i'm not my money's

00:53:39.500 --> 00:53:43.360
not going to any of that anymore my brain has

00:53:43.360 --> 00:53:46.360
literally been rewired the lord has literally

00:53:46.360 --> 00:53:48.900
been rewiring my brain that's another thing that

00:53:48.900 --> 00:53:51.920
he did for me like in the sober walk is like

00:53:51.920 --> 00:53:54.420
I don't find myself tempted to go hit a vape

00:53:54.420 --> 00:53:56.360
anymore I don't find myself tempted to go drink

00:53:56.360 --> 00:54:00.059
like when stressful things come up my mind honestly

00:54:00.059 --> 00:54:03.039
it no longer goes to wish I could smoke wish

00:54:03.039 --> 00:54:05.500
I could drink my mind goes to I'm gonna pray

00:54:05.500 --> 00:54:08.980
to the Lord I'm gonna pray to God I'm gonna get

00:54:08.980 --> 00:54:11.000
my Bible I'm gonna get my scripture he has literally

00:54:11.000 --> 00:54:16.000
rewired my brain you know at first At first I

00:54:16.000 --> 00:54:18.420
was tempted to go back to those things, but because

00:54:18.420 --> 00:54:21.260
now for so long I've been practicing going to

00:54:21.260 --> 00:54:24.760
the Lord instead, that is just my, the Lord is

00:54:24.760 --> 00:54:29.880
my coping. I lay it at Jesus' feet. I go to him

00:54:29.880 --> 00:54:32.579
and I receive a peace that surpasses all understanding.

00:54:33.239 --> 00:54:35.679
Or I receive word, I receive guidance, I receive

00:54:35.679 --> 00:54:41.190
instruction, I receive joy. That's a wonderful

00:54:41.190 --> 00:54:43.250
thing. I want someone needs to hear that today

00:54:43.250 --> 00:54:46.090
It's not gonna be your life forever When you

00:54:46.090 --> 00:54:47.929
when the Lord is truly your source when you're

00:54:47.929 --> 00:54:50.110
truly submitted and surrendered to him I know

00:54:50.110 --> 00:54:52.389
at first it feels like I have to deny myself

00:54:52.389 --> 00:54:54.210
I have to keep saying no to this thing and make

00:54:54.210 --> 00:54:56.170
myself go to Jesus I have to and that was my

00:54:56.170 --> 00:54:58.409
process at first I had to say no, I'm not turning

00:54:58.409 --> 00:55:00.530
to that. I'm gonna go to the Bible. I'm gonna

00:55:00.530 --> 00:55:07.190
go to prayer and then It's like you don't even

00:55:07.190 --> 00:55:10.139
realize it but one day you wake up and that's

00:55:10.139 --> 00:55:12.639
your normal coping when something happens and

00:55:12.639 --> 00:55:14.940
it's not even for me anymore like a panic like

00:55:14.940 --> 00:55:16.820
i need to get my bible i need to get in prayer

00:55:16.820 --> 00:55:20.219
right now ah it's when something happens it's

00:55:20.219 --> 00:55:22.780
like yeah but this is my sign to go to jesus

00:55:22.780 --> 00:55:25.300
this is my sign to go to prayer this is my sign

00:55:25.300 --> 00:55:28.880
to go read scripture and like that's just naturally

00:55:28.880 --> 00:55:31.519
what i gravitate towards i gravitate towards

00:55:31.519 --> 00:55:35.539
worshiping the lord putting on some good worship

00:55:35.539 --> 00:55:40.340
music and just Being in a time of worship, sharing

00:55:40.340 --> 00:55:43.900
my testimonies, glorifying the Lord. When you

00:55:43.900 --> 00:55:46.500
practice it and when it becomes, it becomes habit.

00:55:47.760 --> 00:55:49.900
And that's what sobriety has become for me. It's

00:55:49.900 --> 00:55:52.820
just become my life. It's become a habit. I'm

00:55:52.820 --> 00:55:55.000
not waking up every day saying I need to be sober.

00:55:55.400 --> 00:55:57.239
I'm not waking up every day saying I have to

00:55:57.239 --> 00:55:59.579
make the conscious decision. It's just my life

00:55:59.579 --> 00:56:03.039
now. And I've been hit with so many temptations,

00:56:03.059 --> 00:56:05.800
so many opportunities to go back. And it's like,

00:56:05.840 --> 00:56:07.840
I'm able to just immediately say, no, I don't

00:56:07.840 --> 00:56:11.000
drink. No, I don't smoke. No, I don't want to

00:56:11.000 --> 00:56:13.940
go through that. No, I'm good. And there used

00:56:13.940 --> 00:56:16.159
to be a guilt with saying no, and now it's like

00:56:16.159 --> 00:56:19.340
there's not a guilt. Now it's like I've had it

00:56:19.340 --> 00:56:21.179
so confirmed that this is what God is calling

00:56:21.179 --> 00:56:23.119
me to that I don't care whether or not you're

00:56:23.119 --> 00:56:25.760
offended that I want to drink or not. I'm saying

00:56:25.760 --> 00:56:28.800
no. And I'm doing what God has called me to do.

00:56:29.260 --> 00:56:31.179
Glory be to God. Because that wasn't always the

00:56:31.179 --> 00:56:36.389
way I handled things, y 'all. So yeah, I owe

00:56:36.389 --> 00:56:43.349
my sobriety to Jesus 100 % to Jesus 100 % He

00:56:43.349 --> 00:56:47.349
is the cup that I now he is the living water

00:56:47.349 --> 00:56:51.210
really he is the well that I draw my water from

00:56:51.210 --> 00:56:58.130
and The water I was drinking before Was not bringing

00:56:58.130 --> 00:57:01.289
eternal life You know, when I was getting my

00:57:01.289 --> 00:57:03.650
peace, my joy, my fulfillment from substances,

00:57:04.269 --> 00:57:06.789
from relationships, from attention, from all

00:57:06.789 --> 00:57:08.690
these other things. Sure, you might have that

00:57:08.690 --> 00:57:11.010
dopamine hit or that temporary fix, but eventually

00:57:11.010 --> 00:57:13.329
that would run out and you would need more. Like

00:57:13.329 --> 00:57:15.309
how Jesus promised the woman at the well that

00:57:15.309 --> 00:57:17.809
like, I could give you living water where you

00:57:17.809 --> 00:57:21.210
would never need to drink again. And it's like,

00:57:22.570 --> 00:57:26.170
Jesus is the well that never runs out. All of

00:57:26.170 --> 00:57:29.219
these other things, they will run out. If you're

00:57:29.219 --> 00:57:32.440
getting your fulfillment, your joy, your happiness

00:57:32.440 --> 00:57:34.360
from relationships, from people, from all these

00:57:34.360 --> 00:57:37.820
other things, that will eventually run out. There's

00:57:37.820 --> 00:57:39.619
going to be a day where something doesn't satisfy

00:57:39.619 --> 00:57:44.260
you, where you need more of something. But that's

00:57:44.260 --> 00:57:46.940
not the same with Jesus. It's not the same with

00:57:46.940 --> 00:57:51.599
the Heavenly Father. It's such a deep well that

00:57:51.599 --> 00:57:57.280
it will never run out. I have learned to now

00:57:57.280 --> 00:58:00.119
take from the living water I have learned to

00:58:00.119 --> 00:58:03.019
take from the well and Not from all of these

00:58:03.019 --> 00:58:05.320
external things that we dig for ourselves. I'm

00:58:05.320 --> 00:58:08.579
not trying to dig my own wells instead. I'm going

00:58:08.579 --> 00:58:13.699
to the well That died for me does that make sense

00:58:13.699 --> 00:58:15.519
I hope that makes sense the way I'm wording this

00:58:15.519 --> 00:58:19.739
to you guys and That has radically shifted and

00:58:19.739 --> 00:58:22.519
changed everything in my life And I know that

00:58:22.519 --> 00:58:24.539
there's someone listening to this today too that

00:58:24.539 --> 00:58:28.659
needs to hear make Jesus your well Make Jesus

00:58:28.659 --> 00:58:33.300
the source of what you pull from Make him the

00:58:33.300 --> 00:58:35.780
source of what you go to for comfort make him

00:58:35.780 --> 00:58:38.500
the source of all things We know that his Jesus

00:58:38.500 --> 00:58:40.440
is the vine his father is the vine dresser. We

00:58:40.440 --> 00:58:43.300
cannot do anything apart from him So why do you

00:58:43.300 --> 00:58:45.639
think you can find joy peace happiness fulfillment

00:58:45.639 --> 00:58:50.179
and anything apart from him? I'm here today to

00:58:50.179 --> 00:58:52.940
tell you that going to church and just reading

00:58:52.940 --> 00:58:55.960
the Bible Quoting scripture having godly friends.

00:58:55.960 --> 00:58:58.980
That's not surrender to Christ surrender to Christ

00:58:58.980 --> 00:59:01.159
Surrendering to the Heavenly Father is his way

00:59:01.159 --> 00:59:03.920
above yours. It is true denial of the flesh It

00:59:03.920 --> 00:59:05.659
is walking by faith not by say and I'm not saying

00:59:05.659 --> 00:59:09.800
that God expects you to just like I said I Felt

00:59:09.800 --> 00:59:11.860
overwhelmed at first thinking he expects me to

00:59:11.860 --> 00:59:14.170
just change my life in a day. He doesn't but

00:59:14.170 --> 00:59:17.409
he does want you to submit your will to his.

00:59:17.429 --> 00:59:19.909
There's a reason why Jesus says, you know, to

00:59:19.909 --> 00:59:22.530
take up and carry your cross. Whoever loses his

00:59:22.530 --> 00:59:27.130
life will find it. I had to lose my life. I had

00:59:27.130 --> 00:59:30.429
to lose my previous life to find this new life

00:59:30.429 --> 00:59:36.429
in Jesus Christ. But it doesn't run out. I'm

00:59:36.429 --> 00:59:39.090
telling y 'all today that submission is different.

00:59:40.360 --> 00:59:42.940
Submission is and that's not saying that you're

00:59:42.940 --> 00:59:45.219
putting your feelings aside because I have this

00:59:45.219 --> 00:59:49.019
deep fear That I would just have to put my feelings

00:59:49.019 --> 00:59:50.840
aside and God wouldn't care about my feelings

00:59:50.840 --> 00:59:53.420
God cares about our feelings and God cares about

00:59:53.420 --> 00:59:55.599
our hearts But I want to share with you all a

00:59:55.599 --> 00:59:58.019
prayer that helped me immensely that I know Is

00:59:58.019 --> 01:00:00.039
going to help someone else to hear and I was

01:00:00.039 --> 01:00:02.960
praying this multiple times a day Let's pray

01:00:02.960 --> 01:00:05.860
God change my heart to want what you want for

01:00:05.860 --> 01:00:09.280
me Know your character. I know that you are a

01:00:09.280 --> 01:00:11.880
loving father and you want what is best for me

01:00:11.880 --> 01:00:14.159
and things that you want online with your will

01:00:14.159 --> 01:00:18.000
and If what I am desiring right now and what

01:00:18.000 --> 01:00:20.139
I want to do with my life the choices I want

01:00:20.139 --> 01:00:23.659
to make if this is not What you desire for me

01:00:23.659 --> 01:00:26.059
if this is not your will take that desire out

01:00:26.059 --> 01:00:31.300
of my heart and replace it Replace it in my heart

01:00:31.300 --> 01:00:34.559
with your desires. I pray that I want what you

01:00:34.559 --> 01:00:38.349
want Because I know That what you want for me

01:00:38.349 --> 01:00:43.809
is good You know what I want for me I feel like

01:00:43.809 --> 01:00:47.050
is gonna be good, but God knows what is good

01:00:47.050 --> 01:00:49.610
So God I pray that I want what you want because

01:00:49.610 --> 01:00:51.670
I know that your understanding is above mine

01:00:51.670 --> 01:00:53.449
So whatever you place in my heart I know it's

01:00:53.449 --> 01:00:55.130
gonna be for my good and for the good of those

01:00:55.130 --> 01:00:57.570
around me It's gonna be good for the kingdom

01:00:57.570 --> 01:01:00.369
not just for me, which means it's gonna be good

01:01:00.369 --> 01:01:05.369
on my walk with Christ And I had to pray that

01:01:05.369 --> 01:01:07.110
so many times over and I remember I was praying

01:01:07.110 --> 01:01:09.130
to the Lord where it was like, Lord, when you

01:01:09.130 --> 01:01:10.909
allow me to go back out into the world again,

01:01:11.050 --> 01:01:14.170
I pray that I look for you in every environment

01:01:14.170 --> 01:01:17.090
I go into. I pray that I don't take a job where

01:01:17.090 --> 01:01:20.110
you are not present. That I don't find comfort

01:01:20.110 --> 01:01:22.289
in friend groups where you are not present. I

01:01:22.289 --> 01:01:24.750
pray that I look for you first and I make sure

01:01:24.750 --> 01:01:27.429
that this is a place that is cultivating my relationship

01:01:27.429 --> 01:01:29.329
with you, that this is a place that is glorifying

01:01:29.329 --> 01:01:32.820
you. I pray, Lord Jesus, keep that fire and that

01:01:32.820 --> 01:01:38.039
desire in me. I was y 'all pouring out that prayer

01:01:38.039 --> 01:01:46.219
multiple times a day. And I remember when I was

01:01:46.219 --> 01:01:48.300
buying clothes for the first time since then,

01:01:48.340 --> 01:01:50.659
and it was my first time shopping for modest

01:01:50.659 --> 01:01:54.239
clothing. And what just kept playing in my head

01:01:54.239 --> 01:01:55.820
when I was buying clothing was buy things that

01:01:55.820 --> 01:01:59.260
glorify God. And I started thinking, what glorifies

01:01:59.260 --> 01:02:02.360
God? And my brain started rewiring to only buy

01:02:02.360 --> 01:02:04.599
things that you feel comfortable wearing in church.

01:02:05.699 --> 01:02:11.840
And now that's not saying, I buy jeans now, and

01:02:11.840 --> 01:02:14.199
t -shirts and stuff like that. I probably wouldn't

01:02:14.199 --> 01:02:17.000
wear those to church now. I am one of those people,

01:02:17.039 --> 01:02:19.000
I like to wear my dresses and like to dress a

01:02:19.000 --> 01:02:22.159
little bit more nicely when I go to church. But

01:02:22.159 --> 01:02:24.659
when I was thinking modestly, I was, and that

01:02:24.659 --> 01:02:26.739
was how my brain had rewired. I'd never thought

01:02:26.739 --> 01:02:28.679
before when I was shopping, buy clothes that

01:02:28.679 --> 01:02:31.500
glorify God. And you know, I was kind of new

01:02:31.500 --> 01:02:33.119
to hearing that. So when I was thinking what

01:02:33.119 --> 01:02:35.380
glorifies God, my brain went to, well, what would

01:02:35.380 --> 01:02:37.559
you feel comfortable wearing in church? Like

01:02:37.559 --> 01:02:41.380
modest covering wise? What level of coverage?

01:02:41.480 --> 01:02:43.579
And that was a really good starting line for

01:02:43.579 --> 01:02:46.619
me. And my journey of modesty, it has really

01:02:46.619 --> 01:02:50.179
grown. they've been able to like work on style

01:02:50.179 --> 01:02:55.500
and everything but It's crazy how the rewiring

01:02:55.500 --> 01:02:57.599
of your brain goes because when I really started

01:02:57.599 --> 01:02:59.659
saying my brain time gonna submit my will to

01:02:59.659 --> 01:03:02.000
the Lord and Try to live a life pleasing him

01:03:02.000 --> 01:03:04.420
when I started looking to him for guidance and

01:03:04.420 --> 01:03:06.440
for understanding I started realizing that my

01:03:06.440 --> 01:03:09.139
understanding was not God's understanding and

01:03:09.139 --> 01:03:11.380
When you really implement that it's crazy the

01:03:11.380 --> 01:03:13.480
differences the shifts and the changes that can

01:03:13.480 --> 01:03:16.530
happen in your life So yeah, I'm here to tell

01:03:16.530 --> 01:03:21.969
y 'all today that sobriety Is a choice for you

01:03:21.969 --> 01:03:25.409
is something that can happen for you and if your

01:03:25.409 --> 01:03:29.570
problem isn't Substances whatever has become

01:03:29.570 --> 01:03:32.369
an idol in your life. Whatever you are executing

01:03:32.369 --> 01:03:36.579
your will over God's will in your life That can

01:03:36.579 --> 01:03:38.639
shift and that can change through the power of

01:03:38.639 --> 01:03:40.699
Jesus Christ It is a possibility stop coming

01:03:40.699 --> 01:03:43.099
into the agreements the demonic agreements of

01:03:43.099 --> 01:03:44.960
this is just how I am And this is just how I

01:03:44.960 --> 01:03:46.780
cope and this is just how it's always gonna be

01:03:46.780 --> 01:03:50.519
and it's never gonna change That's not from God

01:03:50.519 --> 01:03:53.460
Okay, so stop coming into agreement with that

01:03:53.460 --> 01:03:56.380
stop coming into agreement with that you know

01:03:56.380 --> 01:03:58.340
the power of life and death lies in the tongue

01:03:58.340 --> 01:04:03.159
and Stop feeding into that. Okay, stop stop giving

01:04:03.159 --> 01:04:06.989
that fire stop feeding that and instead start

01:04:06.989 --> 01:04:10.050
reminding yourself of the promises of god and

01:04:10.050 --> 01:04:13.110
who god says you are and remember that he didn't

01:04:13.110 --> 01:04:15.489
give you a spirit of fear and that no weapons

01:04:15.489 --> 01:04:18.710
formed against you shall prosper if i want to

01:04:18.710 --> 01:04:20.469
be very thoughtful when i say this no weapons

01:04:20.469 --> 01:04:23.070
that formed against you shall prosper you need

01:04:23.070 --> 01:04:27.280
to be submitting to the lord okay And I've shared

01:04:27.280 --> 01:04:29.000
a, I'm not going to go too deep in that, but

01:04:29.000 --> 01:04:31.219
I've shared a prior testimony on here of when

01:04:31.219 --> 01:04:33.139
I was crying out to God saying, God, you always

01:04:33.139 --> 01:04:35.500
said the weapons wouldn't prosper, but they appear

01:04:35.500 --> 01:04:38.059
to be prospering. They've knocked me down. And

01:04:38.059 --> 01:04:39.659
God had to get real with me where he was like,

01:04:39.659 --> 01:04:42.019
okay, but have you been listening to me? Have

01:04:42.019 --> 01:04:44.059
you been submitting your way to me? Yes, I told

01:04:44.059 --> 01:04:45.739
you that no weapons swung against you should

01:04:45.739 --> 01:04:48.179
prosper. Yes, I made you these promises, but

01:04:48.179 --> 01:04:51.119
you also need to be submitting to my voice. You

01:04:51.119 --> 01:04:53.000
need to be listening to my instruction and my

01:04:53.000 --> 01:04:54.880
guidance, but instead you've been executing your

01:04:54.880 --> 01:04:57.400
own will. and doing what you think is right and

01:04:57.400 --> 01:04:59.199
what you want to do and the time that you want

01:04:59.199 --> 01:05:04.039
to do it. So when you're not listening, what

01:05:04.039 --> 01:05:06.219
do you expect? You're not going to get the 100

01:05:06.219 --> 01:05:09.219
% result if you're putting in 20 % of the effort.

01:05:09.780 --> 01:05:13.519
You're only doing 20 % submission. And I don't

01:05:13.519 --> 01:05:15.059
know, maybe someone listening to this today needs

01:05:15.059 --> 01:05:16.800
to hear that too. If you're upset that you're

01:05:16.800 --> 01:05:20.199
not seeing 100 % of God's promises, are you putting

01:05:20.199 --> 01:05:24.219
in 100 % submission? Are you listening to Him?

01:05:24.519 --> 01:05:26.320
Now, I'm not saying that he's asking you to be

01:05:26.320 --> 01:05:28.539
perfect. I'm not saying, have you done everything

01:05:28.539 --> 01:05:30.579
perfectly? What I'm saying is, are you trying

01:05:30.579 --> 01:05:32.679
your best to be submitted to him? Are you trying

01:05:32.679 --> 01:05:34.420
your best to flee temptation? When he's telling

01:05:34.420 --> 01:05:39.639
you to do these things, are you giving into the

01:05:39.639 --> 01:05:41.420
ego? Are you giving into the pride? Are you giving

01:05:41.420 --> 01:05:44.019
into your own will? Or are you denying yourself

01:05:44.019 --> 01:05:48.539
and submitting to God's will? Because his promises,

01:05:50.400 --> 01:05:54.670
you do need to be submitting to him. we see time

01:05:54.670 --> 01:05:56.329
and time again what happens in the Bible when

01:05:56.329 --> 01:05:59.130
rebellion and disobedience comes in and it's

01:05:59.130 --> 01:06:01.670
not the lovely promises of God that follow it's

01:06:01.670 --> 01:06:04.789
usually destruction and suffering and famine

01:06:04.789 --> 01:06:11.130
and sadness and all of these things and I feel

01:06:11.130 --> 01:06:13.889
just called today to say you've given your life

01:06:13.889 --> 01:06:20.110
your will your understanding enough tries why

01:06:20.110 --> 01:06:24.360
don't you try Jesus's way 100 % What can you

01:06:24.360 --> 01:06:29.920
lose at this point? So I pray that this episode

01:06:29.920 --> 01:06:32.280
has blessed you this was the salt not sweetener

01:06:32.280 --> 01:06:35.380
podcast And I am your host Danielle towns And

01:06:35.380 --> 01:06:37.619
I do ask that y 'all subscribe to this episode

01:06:37.619 --> 01:06:40.159
wherever you're listening to this podcast And

01:06:40.159 --> 01:06:42.019
share it with somebody reshare it on your social

01:06:42.019 --> 01:06:44.880
media text it to somebody send it to someone

01:06:44.880 --> 01:06:48.519
who you feel is needing to hear this Share it

01:06:48.519 --> 01:06:50.860
with someone that God is leading you to share

01:06:50.860 --> 01:06:54.360
it with right now Your shares are my advertisement,

01:06:54.659 --> 01:06:57.239
guys. I'm not advertising this a lot of places.

01:06:57.579 --> 01:06:59.599
You might see it posted on TikTok occasionally,

01:06:59.619 --> 01:07:03.039
or maybe Facebook. But I'm not taking out ads

01:07:03.039 --> 01:07:05.159
anywhere right now. I'm just watching what the

01:07:05.159 --> 01:07:08.400
Lord does with his podcasts. So I am asking you,

01:07:08.659 --> 01:07:12.780
share it to people. It's a lot more helpful than

01:07:12.780 --> 01:07:17.500
you realize, okay? Please come back for the next

01:07:17.500 --> 01:07:20.159
episode. I'm sure it'll be just as exciting.

01:07:20.679 --> 01:07:24.239
Have a wonderful Monday. God bless.