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Hey guys and welcome back to the salt not sweetener

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podcast. I'm your host Danielle Townsend This

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is episode 25 and in today's episode. We are

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gonna be talking about the singleness season

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and I'm speaking to y 'all as someone who I am

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still in a single season y 'all most of the time

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when I listen two people talk about singleness

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and talking about the singleness season they

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are out of that and they are married they are

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already married or engaged and they're more talking

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about looking back on their singleness season

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and how they moved out of their singleness season

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and how God shifted them out because a lot of

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us when we're listening to relationship testimonies

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as single people we're like looking for signs

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of is our person coming What do we need to do

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to prepare for our person to come in? Oftentimes

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we're listening to these with anticipation for

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what's coming next in like moving out and moving

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into a relationship and that's wonderful to hear

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their testimonies. It's wonderful. I listen to

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a lot of those testimonies, but today I am going

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to share with y 'all about my experience in the

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single season as someone who is still in their

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single season because I've been in the single

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season for a very long time y 'all. And... It

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is crazy looking at the transformations that

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God has made within me and in my life and in

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my habits and like just how much my relationship

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with Christ has grown in the singleness season.

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So I'm going to be sharing with y 'all today

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what the Lord has done in my life, what he has

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taught me. And I hope that you can be able to

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take things and reflect on your season as well.

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I'm going to share with y 'all the temptations

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that I have faced and how drastically in my dating

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life, my love life looks. versus what it used

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to look like. We're gonna unpack a lot here and

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I pray that this blesses you and that this helps

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you and that this is really revealing for you,

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okay? So just to give y 'all a little bit of

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background of where I'm at relationship -wise,

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I'm single. I'm a single pringle. Y 'all, I'm

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not married. I'm not dating anybody. I don't

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have a boyfriend. There's no one that I'm in

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a talking stage with right now or a situationship

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right now. It's really just me and the Lord building

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our relationship. And it's been that way for

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a while now. I would say that the last serious

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talking stage I had was 2023 was the last time

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where I was like really talking to emotionally

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invested in a person. The last date I went out

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on was like January of this year. And that was

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the first date in like well over a year I had

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gone on. I really slowed down the last long -term

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relationship I had y 'all this one has been a

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very very long time I was like 17 years old it

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lasted about close to two years it was while

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I was in high school for about two years while

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I was in high school I did have a boyfriend when

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I was like 19 that was very short -lived and

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in my college years it was a lot of situationships

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where we would do everything that a boyfriend

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and girlfriend would do. I would completely be,

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like, emotionally invested. It would be, like,

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basically a boyfriend and girlfriend without

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a label. But the second it got to that label

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point, the second it got to that serious point,

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something would fall out. Either they would leave

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me, I would leave them, something would happen.

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Some of them I stayed friends with for a while,

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after some of them I did not. But overall...

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You know it was always right when it got to that

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point of we were really close to like being boyfriend

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girlfriend something would fall through Something

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would fall off and now I look back at that and

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say glory be to God because that person wasn't

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my husband I was not their wife. Glory be to

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God. It didn't get that far Because especially

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you know once I was in that relationship. I was

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loyal to a tee like I didn't want to So glory

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be to God. I didn't get that far in right so

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I've been in a complete no talking stage single

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like that for over like two years now it's been

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two years now and God has used that time to really

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reveal things about myself to me to heal things

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in me that I didn't know needed healed to develop

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new habits and new things in me Now I just want

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to give y 'all a little bit of background on

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how unhealthy my dating life used to be So I

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remember having my first like serious Boyfriend

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meaning like we were actually dating hanging

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outside of school like a legit boyfriend when

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I was 14 I started dating a lot when I was 14

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I remember having my first like in school boyfriend

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when I was like fifth grade and of course sixth

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grade those Branch out, but those were my first

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serious relationships And I'll say I tended to

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gravitate towards the older boys too. So I was

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always dating boys older than me, never in my

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grade. And I always tried to date boys that weren't

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at my school. So that way if we broke up, I wouldn't

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have to see them every day. That wasn't always

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a thing, but I tried to be thoughtful with that.

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Now I will say dating for me was... source of

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fulfillment and a source of validation when it

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shouldn't have been and the Lord has really revealed

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that to me over the past couple years, you know,

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I Grew up just having some examples of your value

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is dependent on how much a man loves you How

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much attention that you get I grew up seeing

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people Seeking attention from men And I also

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grew up seeing a lot of men withholding attention,

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giving attention whenever they please. And I

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had started to see love as more of a transactional

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thing. And in all honesty, I wasn't getting the

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emotional, number one, I wasn't getting the emotional

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fulfillment from Jesus. And that's the source.

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It's where I should have been going to. I wasn't

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getting my joy, my love, my fulfillment, my...

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who I am as a person from Jesus Christ and that

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was the real root of the problem, right? But

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I also wasn't getting that unconditional love

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from people around me that I should have expected

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to get that unconditional love from. So there

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was a hunger and there was a yearning. Not to

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mention, you know, I had some not so nice kids

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about my age that definitely like to make me

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feel like I wasn't pretty and like to make me

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feel like I was annoying. Like weird like all

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of these things so I was really used to like

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getting invalidated so I started really seeking

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that validation and When I I remember going in

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middle school and all of a sudden some boys like

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started paying attention to me And it felt really

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good. It felt really nice Because you know if

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someone said something mean to me saying well,

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you're not pretty well You're not this I'd be

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like well this person thinks I am so whatever

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goodbye And you know, as I got older, I started

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being friends with a couple more popular girls

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who were used to getting more male attention.

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And you know, so that also meant I kind of started

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striving more for male attention, kind of staying

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on equal playing field with my friends. And it

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was like, I needed that validation. But also,

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it was just normal in my friend group and my

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circle. And it actually started to be looked

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at as an achievement if you had Mail attention

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if you have boys wanting to date you if you had

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you know my it was a running joke especially

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in high school that my friends would say is they

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would say like I had a roster and I could always

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call someone up and like There was the saying

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that We laughed about a lot that my friends joked

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about four years after whereas a freshman in

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high school and And see this was the thing too

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is because I was so used to putting myself first

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and fulfilling myself and getting my feelings

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validated. I really put other people's feelings

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second and I was thinking more about what people

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could provide for me and not what I could do

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for them and definitely not how I could show

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the love of Jesus to them. I wasn't taking care

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of people's hearts correctly and that's what

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trauma and pain and damage you know all of these

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unforgiveness and all of these things. When you

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are not healing that with the Lord, when you

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are not seeking to be more Christ -like, and

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you let that damage affect the way that you react

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and the way that you treat other people, you're

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gonna leave a wake of pain behind you. And I

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remember, I was a freshman in high school, and

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there was a boy that I had been dating for probably

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like um... So like five or six months at this

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time and in all honesty, I wasn't in love with

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this boy But at this time in my life, I was going

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out partying every night Like even on school

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nights. I was just out partying every night on

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the college campus in my town and this boy partied

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every night, too and He ran in a circle Our circles

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ran together. He was from another school and

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our circles ran together So I saw him all the

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time on all the nights out He had a lot of connections

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and everything like that and we just meshed we

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gravitate towards each other. So we just decided

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to start dating and He was cheating on me a lot

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And I was honestly like so out of it most of

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the time. I really didn't hear I was just doing

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my own thing and I thought it was a vibe to be

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dating a much older boy and That you know, he

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was like the social I was just satisfied with

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the standing I had socially but it was a couple

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nights before my Valentine's Day dance and I

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found out undeniably he was cheating on me and

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I got really sick of it and I remember I called

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and I broke up with him and he started saying

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something like good luck getting a date to the

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dance so you're supposed to go to the dance and

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it was a pride in me and an ego in me that was

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like I'm not gonna be looking stupid that that

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was always my headspace was this person's trying

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to make me look stupid I'm not gonna be looking

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stupid So when I hung up on the phone with him

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There was a boy that I knew had the crush on

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me for the longest time that I would hang out

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with sometimes He was cool. He was fun, but I

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never Cared for him deeply in that way. He was

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too nice of a guy was what I used to say He was

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a really nice guy and at the time I see it now

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underlying that like I naturally avoided nice

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guys because I didn't feel deserving of nice

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guys. And I called him up and said, hey, my sweetheart's

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dance is in like two days. Can you go with me?

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Will you go with me? And he, yep, I'll get a

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tux. And the next day he left school early to

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go get a tux and everything like that and popped

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out with him at the dance and everything. And

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my friends, I remember just four years later,

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it'd be a running joke where it'd be like, I,

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you know, I could pull a man out of thin air.

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Like I could pull, like. I was never without

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a man and they would always say like oh that

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was such a bad move you literally broke up with

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that guy and he said you won't get a date and

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just to prove him wrong you got a date right

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then and there and like that used to be a brag

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I used to be proud of that and now I look back

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and I'm like dang I never thought about how that

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made him feel because we had a good time at that

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dance but afterwards we kind of fell right off

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again I never thought about like how does he

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feel How did he feel? Like I know he was excited

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to go to the dance with me and everything but

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later on realizing that like I just brought him

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to make this other dude to prove this other guy

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wrong like and that's what pain and trauma and

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like pride and ego and all of these things when

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you are not healing them and you're not checking

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them you're gonna cause damage to other people

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When you have really bad trust issues and you

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start questioning people's character and you

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start doing all these things that are more of

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a reflection on you than them There is a damage

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that you're doing to those people and I pray

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that that boy is I believe I Pray that he is

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healed. I believe that he is doing wonderful

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things with his life now so Glory be to God on

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that But yeah y 'all like I I was picking people

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that were mean to me I was picking people that

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would cheat on me I was picking people that wanted

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lustful things from me like I was not picking

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people who were kind and were light and knew

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Jesus Christ. And because I wasn't rooted in

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Jesus Christ, I wasn't picking other people who

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would lead me closer to Jesus Christ. I was deliberately

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picking people who wanted to turn up, wanted

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to do all these kinds of things. And then when

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I was in college, I started seeking different.

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I started seeking love. I started seeking romance.

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But the thing was, was that I was constantly

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mixing lust and love up. I want to say right

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now like I am a strong advocate for abstinence

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I have been absent for years now and I intend

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to be absent until I'm married and I want to

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make this very clear that you can today choose

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to be absent even if you haven't chosen that

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in the past You can today choose I am NOT going

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to have physical intimacy Until I am married

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you can choose that today Because I used to believe

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that well since I already did it there's no point

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Welp, I'm never gonna find anyone. Welp, and

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those are all lies of the enemy. I see so many

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times y 'all on social media where people are

00:13:46.110 --> 00:13:47.649
in the comments section saying, well, you've

00:13:47.649 --> 00:13:49.490
already done it, so there's no takesies back

00:13:49.490 --> 00:13:51.610
seas. Like, there's no, tune that out, don't

00:13:51.610 --> 00:13:54.049
listen to that. It's not about taking it back,

00:13:54.350 --> 00:13:57.710
but it is about not continuing. Fornication,

00:13:57.929 --> 00:14:00.450
sex before marriage is just as any other sin.

00:14:00.570 --> 00:14:02.710
Once you recognize that it is wrong, you repent

00:14:02.710 --> 00:14:08.460
and you don't go back. And I'll tell you right

00:14:08.460 --> 00:14:14.379
now, if you need just someone to give you a reason

00:14:14.379 --> 00:14:18.639
that you can see physically why you should not

00:14:18.639 --> 00:14:21.980
fornicate before marriage, speaking from personal

00:14:21.980 --> 00:14:25.820
experience, it clouds your mind. It clouds your

00:14:25.820 --> 00:14:28.950
mind. When you are not doing that, and you're

00:14:28.950 --> 00:14:31.309
just having one -on -one talking, getting to

00:14:31.309 --> 00:14:33.769
know someone, you can really decide if you like

00:14:33.769 --> 00:14:36.649
that person, if this person is your future husband

00:14:36.649 --> 00:14:42.009
or wife, if this person has the qualities of

00:14:42.009 --> 00:14:45.509
a God -fearing man or woman. Is this the person?

00:14:46.409 --> 00:14:49.710
You're the most sober, okay? Is the best way

00:14:49.710 --> 00:14:51.610
I can explain it. And when you start fornicking,

00:14:51.690 --> 00:14:55.960
when you start having physical intimacy, It is

00:14:55.960 --> 00:14:59.500
like a drunkenness. Things that you used to get

00:14:59.500 --> 00:15:01.860
alarmed about, things that used to be red flags,

00:15:02.179 --> 00:15:05.159
start to look more yellow. Things that you used

00:15:05.159 --> 00:15:10.000
to dismiss immediately, you start to allow. Your

00:15:10.000 --> 00:15:12.500
boundaries start shifting, whether or not you

00:15:12.500 --> 00:15:14.539
want to admit it. I've seen it so many times

00:15:14.539 --> 00:15:17.059
happen in my own life and in other people's lives

00:15:17.059 --> 00:15:20.220
because now there's the other emotional investment

00:15:20.220 --> 00:15:23.330
there. right? There's an over romanticizing things

00:15:23.330 --> 00:15:26.730
or just an over emotionalizing things. And then

00:15:26.730 --> 00:15:29.090
some people, it actually can be a trigger for

00:15:29.090 --> 00:15:31.070
you where you start detaching really quickly

00:15:31.070 --> 00:15:34.629
or dissociating. Some people go in the complete

00:15:34.629 --> 00:15:37.750
opposite direction with that too. And that's

00:15:37.750 --> 00:15:41.250
something a whole other healing conversation.

00:15:44.309 --> 00:15:47.929
But overall, intimacy is like a drunkenness where

00:15:47.929 --> 00:15:50.850
you're not seeing things clearly. you're not

00:15:50.850 --> 00:15:56.409
making clear -minded decisions. If you need just

00:15:56.409 --> 00:15:58.289
one like example that can be spelled because

00:15:58.289 --> 00:16:00.230
I know people talk about soul ties and people

00:16:00.230 --> 00:16:02.409
talk about all these other things and I'll say

00:16:02.409 --> 00:16:05.429
another thing too is because sex outside of marriage

00:16:05.429 --> 00:16:08.230
is a sin when you start doing that you are giving

00:16:08.230 --> 00:16:10.330
open that's an open door and we've talked about

00:16:10.330 --> 00:16:12.950
open doors in previous podcasts before that was

00:16:12.950 --> 00:16:15.389
an open door for the devil to come in and start

00:16:15.389 --> 00:16:18.210
messing with your mind to start running amok

00:16:18.210 --> 00:16:20.929
in your life but slowly giving him some legal

00:16:20.929 --> 00:16:25.330
access so i'm telling y 'all right now don't

00:16:25.330 --> 00:16:28.649
do it until marriage until you are married to

00:16:28.649 --> 00:16:32.690
that person and there are many other you know

00:16:32.690 --> 00:16:35.389
safety things that come along with only having

00:16:35.389 --> 00:16:39.029
sex inside of marriage but i'm just giving y

00:16:39.029 --> 00:16:41.870
'all one that i have learned time and time again

00:16:41.870 --> 00:16:44.250
and the unfortunate thing too is the more that

00:16:44.250 --> 00:16:48.269
you do it the less meaningful it becomes The

00:16:48.269 --> 00:16:50.450
more people you do it with, the less meaningful

00:16:50.450 --> 00:16:54.990
it becomes. The more detached you may become,

00:16:55.610 --> 00:17:01.669
the more emotionless you may become. So I just

00:17:01.669 --> 00:17:04.710
want to drop that in right there. Abstinence

00:17:04.710 --> 00:17:08.849
in your walk with Christ is very important. And

00:17:08.849 --> 00:17:12.450
abstinence when it comes to finding your correct

00:17:12.450 --> 00:17:16.539
life partner is very important. You know, I used

00:17:16.539 --> 00:17:19.599
to say, well, that like really limits the dating

00:17:19.599 --> 00:17:22.900
pool. If I'm only like looking for people who

00:17:22.900 --> 00:17:24.799
are also waiting for marriage, and that's a good

00:17:24.799 --> 00:17:28.640
thing. When you're seeking attention and validation,

00:17:28.640 --> 00:17:30.619
that doesn't feel like a good thing. Because

00:17:30.619 --> 00:17:32.440
remember, y 'all, for me, I used to thrive off

00:17:32.440 --> 00:17:34.720
of attention I would get. I used to feel validation

00:17:34.720 --> 00:17:36.859
based off of the plethora. I wanted a roster.

00:17:37.000 --> 00:17:39.359
I wanted multiple people looking at me. So I

00:17:39.359 --> 00:17:41.660
was literally at one point in my life in my early

00:17:41.660 --> 00:17:43.660
college years. If I was talking to someone, I

00:17:43.660 --> 00:17:45.359
wasn't getting attention from them all day, I

00:17:45.359 --> 00:17:47.319
would just go seek out someone else on the roster

00:17:47.319 --> 00:17:51.160
and get attention and validation from them. So

00:17:51.160 --> 00:17:53.599
that would be a nightmare for me of limiting

00:17:53.599 --> 00:17:56.240
the dating pool. I don't want to limit the dating

00:17:56.240 --> 00:17:59.299
pool. So hearing that I would have to do something

00:17:59.299 --> 00:18:01.799
like that, like only look at other people who

00:18:01.799 --> 00:18:04.579
are waiting until marriage, very much limited

00:18:04.579 --> 00:18:07.420
the dating pool, especially when I wasn't pursuing

00:18:07.420 --> 00:18:09.440
a relationship with Christ, because the majority

00:18:09.440 --> 00:18:11.119
of people I meet are waiting until marriage.

00:18:11.629 --> 00:18:13.650
are also followers of Christ. I'm not saying

00:18:13.650 --> 00:18:15.630
everybody is, other people have different convictions

00:18:15.630 --> 00:18:18.170
for different reasons, because I did. But then

00:18:18.170 --> 00:18:20.809
I found myself only running into Christians,

00:18:21.190 --> 00:18:23.670
and at that time I was not a Christian, and I

00:18:23.670 --> 00:18:25.609
did not want the Christian, like I didn't consider

00:18:25.609 --> 00:18:27.250
myself a follower of Christ even though I was

00:18:27.250 --> 00:18:31.710
raised Catholic. And I was like actually really

00:18:31.710 --> 00:18:33.930
avoiding Christians because to me that felt like

00:18:33.930 --> 00:18:35.809
they were just gonna judge me and all these kind

00:18:35.809 --> 00:18:39.500
of things. I would be required to change. and

00:18:39.500 --> 00:18:43.460
I didn't want to change so abstinence was really

00:18:43.460 --> 00:18:46.480
hard for me to kind of work around which is why

00:18:46.480 --> 00:18:48.779
I told you all I ended up falling in a couple

00:18:48.779 --> 00:18:51.880
times once I decided to be abstinent I've been

00:18:51.880 --> 00:18:55.779
absent for years now um but I did fall in for

00:18:55.779 --> 00:18:59.440
a little bit of a time period I'm telling y 'all

00:18:59.440 --> 00:19:03.960
today abstinence is very very very very important

00:19:03.960 --> 00:19:06.420
and I'm always going to recommend that I'm not

00:19:06.420 --> 00:19:09.529
going to applaud sex outside of marriage Fornication.

00:19:09.630 --> 00:19:13.710
Am I the reason? Okay, and I'm not judging I'm

00:19:13.710 --> 00:19:15.630
speaking from experience as someone who went

00:19:15.630 --> 00:19:19.990
through it But you should be happy to limit the

00:19:19.990 --> 00:19:22.609
dating pool because the less people you have

00:19:22.609 --> 00:19:26.349
coming in The lesser is to weed out and filter

00:19:26.349 --> 00:19:31.730
out you can look and evaluate more closely You

00:19:31.730 --> 00:19:34.230
know if you have a hundred guys hitting you up

00:19:34.230 --> 00:19:37.930
before That's 100 different people you're having

00:19:37.930 --> 00:19:40.950
to look at. But when you start only letting in

00:19:40.950 --> 00:19:42.910
guys who are absent, now you're letting maybe

00:19:42.910 --> 00:19:47.109
10 in the door. And it's a lot easier to take

00:19:47.109 --> 00:19:50.369
a deeper look at those 10 than it is the 100.

00:19:50.990 --> 00:19:53.450
Okay, and from those 10, there's a very good

00:19:53.450 --> 00:19:55.130
chance that none of those may be the husband

00:19:55.130 --> 00:19:59.750
right now, or the wife, okay? But it's easier

00:19:59.750 --> 00:20:02.789
to look at that 10 than it is to like look at

00:20:02.789 --> 00:20:08.410
that 100, okay? And one of the fruits of the

00:20:08.410 --> 00:20:11.170
Spirit is self -control. And waiting until marriage

00:20:11.170 --> 00:20:14.630
is a very good sign of self -control. And when

00:20:14.630 --> 00:20:16.750
you're looking for a man of God, when you're

00:20:16.750 --> 00:20:19.009
looking for a woman of God, you're looking for

00:20:19.009 --> 00:20:22.170
the fruits of the Spirit. And self -control is

00:20:22.170 --> 00:20:25.289
one of them. Me personally, that's something

00:20:25.289 --> 00:20:27.869
I definitely look for in a partner and that's

00:20:27.869 --> 00:20:30.329
one of the very Obviously someone who walks by

00:20:30.329 --> 00:20:31.910
faith not by sight and someone who puts their

00:20:31.910 --> 00:20:34.589
faith in the Lord and someone who can lead me

00:20:34.589 --> 00:20:39.569
closer to Christ I Look for that. But yes, y

00:20:39.569 --> 00:20:42.250
'all. I look for fruits of the spirit. I look

00:20:42.250 --> 00:20:45.410
for self -control Can this person handle hearing?

00:20:45.650 --> 00:20:48.769
No, how does this person react when they hear

00:20:48.769 --> 00:20:52.269
the word? No, what actions do they go on to take?

00:20:52.430 --> 00:20:55.869
Do they say, okay, screw you and walk away? Do

00:20:55.869 --> 00:20:58.829
they continue to try to push the boundary? That

00:20:58.829 --> 00:21:02.529
was my real big problem, y 'all. I used to entertain

00:21:02.529 --> 00:21:05.569
people. I found that for a while I really ran

00:21:05.569 --> 00:21:08.809
into a problem with when I was trying to be abstinent,

00:21:09.089 --> 00:21:12.690
where I would run into men who would test that

00:21:12.690 --> 00:21:15.150
boundary, where they would say, okay, okay, I

00:21:15.150 --> 00:21:17.829
get it. And then 20 minutes later, are you sure?

00:21:18.569 --> 00:21:22.500
An hour later, come on. you sure if they say

00:21:22.500 --> 00:21:25.599
okay I get it yeah we'll wait but then they continue

00:21:25.599 --> 00:21:29.240
to push that is not your husband baby I think

00:21:29.240 --> 00:21:31.059
that I think that's where we're kind of transitioning

00:21:31.059 --> 00:21:33.140
into this is something that the Lord revealed

00:21:33.140 --> 00:21:36.740
to me in the single season was how to be discerning

00:21:36.740 --> 00:21:40.579
of Because I used to before as biblically literate

00:21:40.579 --> 00:21:42.960
y 'all before is really having a relationship

00:21:42.960 --> 00:21:44.660
board You could tell me you're Christian and

00:21:44.660 --> 00:21:47.119
quote a couple scripture verses or maybe do a

00:21:47.119 --> 00:21:49.880
good act or two And I would believe you it was

00:21:49.880 --> 00:21:52.859
really hard for me to discern especially decipher

00:21:52.859 --> 00:21:55.420
like fruits of the spirit You know what what

00:21:55.420 --> 00:21:59.680
is a false and what is legit? And we know that

00:21:59.680 --> 00:22:02.960
like bad a bad tree cannot bear good fruit a

00:22:02.960 --> 00:22:05.400
good tree can't bear bad fruit And when you really

00:22:05.400 --> 00:22:08.930
discern and lock in You can decipher and I'll

00:22:08.930 --> 00:22:10.650
tell you all that was one of the number one things

00:22:10.650 --> 00:22:12.990
I used to run into was the boundary crosser and

00:22:12.990 --> 00:22:15.950
the boundary pusher and I used to when I was

00:22:15.950 --> 00:22:18.549
fresh on my relation walk with the Lord I'd be

00:22:18.549 --> 00:22:21.069
thinking back to past partners and being like

00:22:21.069 --> 00:22:25.349
was that you know what? Was I like just not saying

00:22:25.349 --> 00:22:27.509
it right were they actually pushing boundaries?

00:22:28.130 --> 00:22:29.809
The Lord allowed me to really go back through

00:22:29.809 --> 00:22:32.930
and reflect on past connections of what I allowed

00:22:32.930 --> 00:22:35.589
to continue when I should have just walked away

00:22:35.769 --> 00:22:38.190
And he really revealed to me that I had a real

00:22:38.190 --> 00:22:40.869
problem with boundaries. Like, I would set them,

00:22:40.869 --> 00:22:42.970
but if I liked a person, I would allow those

00:22:42.970 --> 00:22:47.329
boundaries to be pushed back. If I had feels

00:22:47.329 --> 00:22:49.210
for them, if I felt like, oh, they're such a

00:22:49.210 --> 00:22:53.109
good person, all these other areas, I would sometimes

00:22:53.109 --> 00:22:55.529
overlook them pushing boundaries. And God really

00:22:55.529 --> 00:22:57.410
had to reveal to me, like, I had to stop doing

00:22:57.410 --> 00:23:01.210
that. I wasn't gonna, I wasn't gonna, definitely

00:23:01.210 --> 00:23:03.029
not gonna exit the single season if I couldn't

00:23:03.029 --> 00:23:06.700
even hold boundaries. Someone needs to hear this

00:23:06.700 --> 00:23:08.980
today. Your man of God your woman of God is not

00:23:08.980 --> 00:23:12.720
going to lead you to lust Okay, they're not gonna

00:23:12.720 --> 00:23:15.160
lead you to fornication. They're not gonna lead

00:23:15.160 --> 00:23:19.079
you to sex before marriage if you have set boundaries

00:23:19.079 --> 00:23:26.740
They are not going to be that temptation for

00:23:26.740 --> 00:23:33.319
you your husband your wife That is God sent is

00:23:33.319 --> 00:23:37.079
not going to be doing that The Lord had to get

00:23:37.079 --> 00:23:39.400
so for real with me of your husband is not going

00:23:39.400 --> 00:23:42.599
to be trying to convince you to have sex before

00:23:42.599 --> 00:23:45.619
marriage. Your husband is not going to be trying

00:23:45.619 --> 00:23:47.480
to convince you to dress him modestly or say

00:23:47.480 --> 00:23:49.079
why don't you wear something a little bit tighter?

00:23:49.539 --> 00:23:50.839
Why don't you wear something that shows a little

00:23:50.839 --> 00:23:53.420
bit more? Why don't you post pictures like this?

00:23:53.579 --> 00:23:55.839
Why don't you send me a pic? Why don't you do

00:23:55.839 --> 00:24:01.400
this? He is not going to be doing that. Now men

00:24:01.400 --> 00:24:04.500
who want to masquerade as men of God are angels

00:24:04.500 --> 00:24:08.759
of light. Okay, may, but my future man of God

00:24:08.759 --> 00:24:12.660
won't. Whoever you are listening to, your future

00:24:12.660 --> 00:24:16.839
man of God won't. Your future woman of God won't.

00:24:18.359 --> 00:24:21.019
If you have a sobriety conviction and you live

00:24:21.019 --> 00:24:26.279
your life sober, your future spouse is not going

00:24:26.279 --> 00:24:28.079
to be trying to tempt you to drink and smoke

00:24:28.079 --> 00:24:31.059
all the time. Trying to get you to go to all

00:24:31.059 --> 00:24:32.519
these places where you're going to fall into

00:24:32.519 --> 00:24:36.369
temptation. A person that loves you, Is a loyal

00:24:36.369 --> 00:24:38.589
follower of Christ is not going to be constantly

00:24:38.589 --> 00:24:43.450
leading you in a temptation Because as and I'm

00:24:43.450 --> 00:24:46.230
speaking from a female perspective Because as

00:24:46.230 --> 00:24:48.849
women we are supposed to be submitted to the

00:24:48.849 --> 00:24:50.930
husband meaning the husband is supposed to be

00:24:50.930 --> 00:24:54.930
the spiritual leader in the household Okay So

00:24:54.930 --> 00:24:59.710
I have to be able to trust him to lead me closer

00:24:59.710 --> 00:25:02.599
to God like if I was blindfolded I have to be

00:25:02.599 --> 00:25:05.539
able to trust that He is going to be submitted

00:25:05.539 --> 00:25:07.740
to the Lord and following the Lord and be able

00:25:07.740 --> 00:25:09.500
to lead me where I need to go. That's not saying

00:25:09.500 --> 00:25:11.019
I'm actually going to be putting on a blindfold

00:25:11.019 --> 00:25:13.359
all the time, but I have to be able to trust.

00:25:13.769 --> 00:25:16.630
So i'm not speaking so much from the men's perspective

00:25:16.630 --> 00:25:18.930
because men do have a different situation. Okay,

00:25:18.950 --> 00:25:22.430
they are the leaders Okay, they they are having

00:25:22.430 --> 00:25:24.069
to be established in a bit more of a different

00:25:24.069 --> 00:25:26.170
way The lord really opened my eyes and revealed

00:25:26.170 --> 00:25:28.529
to me that as christians we are all covered in

00:25:28.529 --> 00:25:30.890
the blood of jesus Jesus is our covering right?

00:25:31.069 --> 00:25:33.730
But as women we have a little bit of double covering

00:25:33.730 --> 00:25:36.390
because our husbands are also a covering our

00:25:36.390 --> 00:25:39.190
husbands are also a protection Right, so we're

00:25:39.190 --> 00:25:42.779
kind of double protected in that way. We have

00:25:42.779 --> 00:25:47.140
the covering of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, spiritual

00:25:47.140 --> 00:25:51.599
protection, our cleansing of our sins, but then

00:25:51.599 --> 00:25:55.019
we also have our husband who right here in the

00:25:55.019 --> 00:25:57.599
flesh in this board right here is also protecting

00:25:57.599 --> 00:25:59.420
us. They're supposed to be covering us in prayer.

00:25:59.480 --> 00:26:00.940
They're supposed to be doing things like that.

00:26:01.079 --> 00:26:04.220
So our preparation, women, is going to be different

00:26:04.220 --> 00:26:06.680
than men. We have to keep in mind that men are

00:26:06.680 --> 00:26:10.859
not, they are being prepared not only to be submitting

00:26:10.859 --> 00:26:13.240
themselves to the Lord, but they're also being

00:26:13.240 --> 00:26:15.420
prepared to be spiritual leaders and to be coverings

00:26:15.420 --> 00:26:19.339
for their wife and children. And yes, women,

00:26:19.480 --> 00:26:21.599
we are praying for our future children. When

00:26:21.599 --> 00:26:23.900
we are wives, yes, we cover our husbands in prayer.

00:26:24.160 --> 00:26:27.299
We cover our children in prayer, but men, they

00:26:27.299 --> 00:26:31.640
are our covering. Okay, they are our covering.

00:26:31.740 --> 00:26:33.500
So we are being prepared a little bit differently

00:26:33.500 --> 00:26:35.079
than they're being prepared. So I want to just

00:26:35.079 --> 00:26:37.279
clarify that. What I'm speaking about today,

00:26:37.849 --> 00:26:40.650
more of a woman preparation and men and they're

00:26:40.650 --> 00:26:43.769
listening I will try I don't know your experience

00:26:43.769 --> 00:26:47.670
firsthand so I'm gonna do my best to relatable

00:26:47.670 --> 00:26:49.609
information on both sides but you will notice

00:26:49.609 --> 00:26:52.410
that mine is a bit more of a woman perspective

00:26:52.410 --> 00:26:54.410
okay so men if you're listening to this and you

00:26:54.410 --> 00:26:56.730
want to hear about the female perspective keep

00:26:56.730 --> 00:27:02.230
listening keep listening so I I had to the Lord

00:27:02.230 --> 00:27:05.259
really had to instill in me Because I was someone

00:27:05.259 --> 00:27:07.960
who was like very hyper independent. I went through

00:27:07.960 --> 00:27:11.180
I don't need no man. I'll take care of myself.

00:27:11.220 --> 00:27:13.680
I'll do this. I'll do that. And it was honestly

00:27:13.680 --> 00:27:16.339
really hard for me to wrap my mind around the

00:27:16.339 --> 00:27:24.700
idea of ever submitting in any way. And the Lord

00:27:24.700 --> 00:27:28.220
has taken me through that single season preparing

00:27:28.220 --> 00:27:32.099
me for that because I was a rebellious Person

00:27:32.099 --> 00:27:34.579
I rebelled against the Lord. So of course, I

00:27:34.579 --> 00:27:36.039
would have rebelled against the husband that

00:27:36.039 --> 00:27:40.420
would say submit like submit to the spiritual

00:27:40.420 --> 00:27:45.299
leadership 100 % y 'all So glory again glory

00:27:45.299 --> 00:27:47.259
be to God. He didn't bring me my husband yet

00:27:47.259 --> 00:27:49.160
cuz I'm telling you so many times glory be to

00:27:49.160 --> 00:27:51.140
God He didn't cuz I would have screwed it up.

00:27:51.339 --> 00:27:55.319
I wasn't ready. I Would have screwed it up and

00:27:55.319 --> 00:27:56.740
someone that's listening to this you need to

00:27:56.740 --> 00:27:58.819
hear today, too I know you might think that you

00:27:58.819 --> 00:28:01.480
you're all healed and you're all good to go But

00:28:01.480 --> 00:28:04.140
if God hasn't brought it yet, it's still being

00:28:04.140 --> 00:28:07.119
prepared. Maybe you would have screwed it up.

00:28:07.440 --> 00:28:09.500
Maybe they would have screwed it up. I don't

00:28:09.500 --> 00:28:11.900
know. But you don't have it yet because it's

00:28:11.900 --> 00:28:16.779
not the moment yet and that is okay. But getting

00:28:16.779 --> 00:28:19.359
back to where we were at, yeah, the Lord really

00:28:19.359 --> 00:28:24.019
revealed to me like I had to start being discerning

00:28:24.019 --> 00:28:27.160
number one of what does a man of God even look

00:28:27.160 --> 00:28:29.490
like? Because for the longest time in my life,

00:28:29.589 --> 00:28:32.650
I could not discern what a man or a woman of

00:28:32.650 --> 00:28:35.789
God was. I went based off of kind of appearances

00:28:35.789 --> 00:28:38.009
and my own understanding, and I'm telling y 'all

00:28:38.009 --> 00:28:40.170
that these things shifted through a daily relationship

00:28:40.170 --> 00:28:41.950
with the Lord, consistent relationship, praying

00:28:41.950 --> 00:28:44.609
to Jesus Christ, listening to his guidance and

00:28:44.609 --> 00:28:47.730
instruction, denial of self, and I'll get into

00:28:47.730 --> 00:28:52.029
that in just a minute, denial of self. Reading

00:28:52.029 --> 00:28:55.109
scripture and heck even listening to some other

00:28:55.109 --> 00:28:56.890
people's testimonies who have been through a

00:28:56.890 --> 00:28:59.470
similar season because the more I read scripture

00:28:59.470 --> 00:29:02.869
and the more I received unconditional love from

00:29:02.869 --> 00:29:05.710
Jesus the more I recognized that the love I was

00:29:05.710 --> 00:29:08.130
receiving before wasn't the love of Jesus and

00:29:08.130 --> 00:29:10.390
it wasn't an unconditional love and it was actually

00:29:10.390 --> 00:29:12.910
lust. When you're able to experience the love

00:29:12.910 --> 00:29:16.410
of Jesus you're able better to identify what

00:29:16.410 --> 00:29:18.690
does not feel like the love of Jesus and what

00:29:18.690 --> 00:29:21.380
isn't the love of Jesus. Okay, it's hard for

00:29:21.380 --> 00:29:23.980
you to discern when you've never experienced

00:29:23.980 --> 00:29:26.539
And once I experienced that I was able to look

00:29:26.539 --> 00:29:29.240
and be like, ah, yeah See, they they only wanted

00:29:29.240 --> 00:29:31.859
to date me or they only gave me love or they

00:29:31.859 --> 00:29:33.460
only gave me attention when I was doing these

00:29:33.460 --> 00:29:35.400
things Or these things and these things weren't

00:29:35.400 --> 00:29:37.019
even Christ's like and this person was asking

00:29:37.019 --> 00:29:39.279
me to do this This person was only calling me

00:29:39.279 --> 00:29:40.839
up when this would happen or this person was

00:29:40.839 --> 00:29:44.220
only doing this So yeah, the Lord has had to

00:29:44.220 --> 00:29:47.779
take me through a time of how to discern whether

00:29:47.779 --> 00:29:49.579
or not someone is a man or woman of God. And

00:29:49.579 --> 00:29:50.900
I want to make this very clear that I'm not saying

00:29:50.900 --> 00:29:54.000
that because we are human and we do make mistakes.

00:29:54.059 --> 00:29:56.160
Sometimes we say something stupid. Sometimes

00:29:56.160 --> 00:29:58.059
we do something more like, ah, probably shouldn't

00:29:58.059 --> 00:30:01.339
have done that. I'm not saying that a man or

00:30:01.339 --> 00:30:06.740
woman of God is perfect. But the fruits do speak

00:30:06.740 --> 00:30:09.619
and we need to be paying attention to the fruits.

00:30:10.160 --> 00:30:12.259
What fruits are being consistently produced?

00:30:13.039 --> 00:30:17.839
Now, when I said denial of self, Y 'all, I am

00:30:17.839 --> 00:30:21.859
single. But I'm gonna say this right now. And

00:30:21.859 --> 00:30:23.640
I'm not saying this from a prideful place or

00:30:23.640 --> 00:30:29.740
an ego place. I don't have to be. And what I

00:30:29.740 --> 00:30:32.500
mean by that is I've had lots of opportunities

00:30:32.500 --> 00:30:37.720
to not be single. But each of those was also

00:30:37.720 --> 00:30:40.119
opportunities to go outside the will of God and

00:30:40.119 --> 00:30:43.960
to settle. To settle for things that I know God

00:30:43.960 --> 00:30:49.000
isn't calling me to. to invest my time in relationships

00:30:49.000 --> 00:30:51.240
and connections that God has made it clear are

00:30:51.240 --> 00:30:53.980
not for me. I am single right now because I am

00:30:53.980 --> 00:31:03.079
obeying the Lord. I very very frequently especially

00:31:03.079 --> 00:31:06.180
recently it seems to have like turned the dial

00:31:06.180 --> 00:31:08.180
for some reason attention -wise has seemed to

00:31:08.180 --> 00:31:09.759
turn up. I've been getting a lot more attention

00:31:09.759 --> 00:31:12.680
recently like just when I go to church groups

00:31:12.680 --> 00:31:15.200
or like different places I've been going, um,

00:31:15.279 --> 00:31:18.000
male attention that I'm not really seeking but

00:31:18.000 --> 00:31:20.500
has somehow found me, where I'm saying that I

00:31:20.500 --> 00:31:23.039
have had opportunities to start situationships.

00:31:23.420 --> 00:31:25.880
I have had opportunities to start talking to

00:31:25.880 --> 00:31:27.660
sages. I have had opportunities to go out on

00:31:27.660 --> 00:31:29.720
dates. There are a couple of, if I entertained

00:31:29.720 --> 00:31:31.559
it further, I probably would have had an opportunity

00:31:31.559 --> 00:31:38.440
to like date or even further. When you are submitting

00:31:38.440 --> 00:31:41.059
to the Lord not everything that presents itself

00:31:41.059 --> 00:31:43.779
to you is a God opportunity and I used to think

00:31:43.779 --> 00:31:45.500
well since it's presenting itself to me it must

00:31:45.500 --> 00:31:48.420
be from God like if God didn't want me to take

00:31:48.420 --> 00:31:50.079
it why would he allow it to be presented to me

00:31:50.079 --> 00:31:53.420
and We see that Satan offers things to we see

00:31:53.420 --> 00:31:55.940
how he tried to do it Jesus and when he was in

00:31:55.940 --> 00:31:58.680
the wilderness for 40 days Satan will try to

00:31:58.680 --> 00:32:00.339
offer you things to just because you're able

00:32:00.339 --> 00:32:03.500
to do it doesn't mean you should do it and I

00:32:03.500 --> 00:32:07.140
have had many different opportunities to entertain

00:32:07.140 --> 00:32:10.119
people that I could tell immediately off the

00:32:10.119 --> 00:32:14.460
bat weren't my husband, weren't men of God, weren't

00:32:14.460 --> 00:32:19.000
what God had spoken to me about. And I could

00:32:19.000 --> 00:32:23.819
immediately tell that these were not people sent

00:32:23.819 --> 00:32:27.259
from God. But I had to make the conscious decision,

00:32:27.680 --> 00:32:31.140
do I send them away with love? Do I close that

00:32:31.140 --> 00:32:35.309
door? Or am I bored? or insecure in my singleness

00:32:35.309 --> 00:32:38.470
or wanting attention or just wanting to be married

00:32:38.470 --> 00:32:43.990
and entertain that. Do I start ignoring what

00:32:43.990 --> 00:32:46.829
I know God has said and trying to like morph

00:32:46.829 --> 00:32:48.849
these things in my brain to make it permissible?

00:32:51.950 --> 00:32:54.690
And there have been some times too when I have

00:32:54.690 --> 00:32:58.309
gotten sent people that look very similar to

00:32:58.309 --> 00:32:59.990
what I believed I was waiting on. I can think

00:32:59.990 --> 00:33:03.559
of two different instances. In the past year

00:33:03.559 --> 00:33:06.720
where there have been people who I've met and

00:33:06.720 --> 00:33:10.619
like It feels like really divinely aligned ways

00:33:10.619 --> 00:33:13.680
really God ordained ways And when I'm meeting

00:33:13.680 --> 00:33:15.559
them at first, they seem they seem like real

00:33:15.559 --> 00:33:21.240
men of God like really good Okay, like oh, okay

00:33:21.240 --> 00:33:24.119
and like my attention is caught and then when

00:33:24.119 --> 00:33:26.039
I start praying to God God if they're not for

00:33:26.039 --> 00:33:28.920
me remove them God if I'm not seeing something

00:33:28.920 --> 00:33:33.000
reveal it because you know I feel like I'm being

00:33:33.000 --> 00:33:35.920
pushed to pursue this person and I know that

00:33:35.920 --> 00:33:37.480
you have told me before that this person is going

00:33:37.480 --> 00:33:40.559
to be pursuing like I'm not meant to pursue my

00:33:40.559 --> 00:33:43.160
husband in that way so like although some of

00:33:43.160 --> 00:33:47.140
these things look like you brought them and they

00:33:47.140 --> 00:33:48.839
look like a man of God some of these other things

00:33:48.839 --> 00:33:51.180
are going against what I believe you have spoken

00:33:51.180 --> 00:33:55.839
to me personally and then the Lord starts to

00:33:55.839 --> 00:33:59.420
reveal more things every time. For example, and

00:33:59.420 --> 00:34:01.279
I just, I definitely want to protect the privacy

00:34:01.279 --> 00:34:03.619
of one of these people, there were a lot of things

00:34:03.619 --> 00:34:05.460
that were really attractive to me, but then there

00:34:05.460 --> 00:34:07.900
were a lot of things that I started being like...

00:34:08.449 --> 00:34:11.230
God, this person, I feel more like I'm leading

00:34:11.230 --> 00:34:13.750
them spiritually than they're leading me. Like,

00:34:13.789 --> 00:34:16.309
my husband's supposed to be able to lead me and

00:34:16.309 --> 00:34:18.349
walk by faith, but this person, the things that

00:34:18.349 --> 00:34:21.269
they're saying sounds one way, but all the steps

00:34:21.269 --> 00:34:23.570
I see them taking and actions, it looks like

00:34:23.570 --> 00:34:26.269
there's a lot of backsliding here. And it looks

00:34:26.269 --> 00:34:28.050
like they're giving in to a lot of temptation

00:34:28.050 --> 00:34:30.070
and giving in to a lot of fear and giving in

00:34:30.070 --> 00:34:32.489
to a lot of these things. I would not feel safe

00:34:32.489 --> 00:34:36.670
with this person leading me, Lord. And very quickly

00:34:36.670 --> 00:34:39.070
the Lord had revealed to me moreover that was

00:34:39.070 --> 00:34:42.190
not my person. But it was up to me to listen

00:34:42.190 --> 00:34:44.570
to God in that situation. That one was really,

00:34:44.570 --> 00:34:46.710
that one was hard because that person looked

00:34:46.710 --> 00:34:50.570
very close and similar to what I believed was

00:34:50.570 --> 00:34:55.909
my God, my one day spouse, my man of God. But

00:34:55.909 --> 00:34:57.730
I had to release that person. There's another

00:34:57.730 --> 00:35:00.070
one that they kept making comeback returns where

00:35:00.070 --> 00:35:02.789
it started feeling very divine, very divine.

00:35:04.380 --> 00:35:06.780
But there were things that they participated

00:35:06.780 --> 00:35:09.260
in that I had strict convictions not to participate

00:35:09.260 --> 00:35:11.480
in. And I was praying to God where I was like,

00:35:11.519 --> 00:35:13.260
God, a lot of these things, this person seems

00:35:13.260 --> 00:35:16.079
to be given into lust. They follow a lot of lustful

00:35:16.079 --> 00:35:18.300
accounts. I see them commenting lustful things.

00:35:18.840 --> 00:35:21.599
I have a sobriety conviction. This person, I

00:35:21.599 --> 00:35:25.619
definitely don't see them being sober. This just

00:35:25.619 --> 00:35:29.159
feels like temptation and trigger central. And

00:35:29.159 --> 00:35:31.480
the Lord very quickly revealed to me, yeah, that's

00:35:31.480 --> 00:35:34.789
not your person. And see, in that instance, I

00:35:34.789 --> 00:35:39.150
had to let them go. I could have, with both these

00:35:39.150 --> 00:35:43.269
people, held on and saw what happened. But I

00:35:43.269 --> 00:35:45.170
also know I would be outside the will of God

00:35:45.170 --> 00:35:47.050
and I would be ignoring what He was telling me

00:35:47.050 --> 00:35:50.849
and revealing to me. And that that wasn't the

00:35:50.849 --> 00:35:55.400
promise that He had for me. So in my single season

00:35:55.400 --> 00:35:58.599
y 'all I have had to learn how to discern what

00:35:58.599 --> 00:36:01.239
is not from God and what's not for me and To

00:36:01.239 --> 00:36:04.360
also release and I've had to learn how to deny

00:36:04.360 --> 00:36:08.000
myself. There have been a couple times Over the

00:36:08.000 --> 00:36:11.059
past year where and I for a long time stayed

00:36:11.059 --> 00:36:13.840
off of dating apps But I couldn't explain it

00:36:13.840 --> 00:36:15.539
but like there are a couple times where I felt

00:36:15.539 --> 00:36:19.599
led to get on dating apps like after a long time

00:36:19.599 --> 00:36:21.559
of praying and I felt led to grounding up so

00:36:21.559 --> 00:36:23.460
I believe sometimes that God will allow us to

00:36:23.460 --> 00:36:26.320
go into situations just to see how much that

00:36:26.320 --> 00:36:28.460
we have grown and see how much that we have learned

00:36:28.460 --> 00:36:30.320
not so much because we're supposed to find our

00:36:30.320 --> 00:36:32.480
spouse or find something in that situation but

00:36:32.480 --> 00:36:34.940
just to reveal more things about ourselves you

00:36:34.940 --> 00:36:36.320
know and I was talking about the book of Jonah

00:36:36.320 --> 00:36:39.780
the other day Jonah going and going to Nineveh

00:36:39.780 --> 00:36:42.000
and telling them God's going to destroy them

00:36:42.000 --> 00:36:43.820
and then God ends up sparing them because they

00:36:43.820 --> 00:36:46.280
repent and he's all salty and saying, well, what

00:36:46.280 --> 00:36:48.719
was the point of doing it anyway? You know, I

00:36:48.719 --> 00:36:50.760
knew you were going to spare him. And that was

00:36:50.760 --> 00:36:54.340
more revealing of Jonah's heart. And these dating

00:36:54.340 --> 00:36:56.320
apps really revealed something to me. Every time

00:36:56.320 --> 00:36:58.139
I was on those dating apps, I never stayed on

00:36:58.139 --> 00:37:01.000
for more than maybe four days. I found myself

00:37:01.000 --> 00:37:04.440
every time deleting them because I did not like

00:37:04.440 --> 00:37:08.000
the attention I was getting. And it seems like

00:37:08.000 --> 00:37:10.300
every time more each time it increased, I would

00:37:10.300 --> 00:37:12.480
get on the dating apps that like I was getting.

00:37:13.119 --> 00:37:16.639
20 30 people messaging me and like where it was

00:37:16.639 --> 00:37:19.599
hard to even make like a basic connection or

00:37:19.599 --> 00:37:21.300
remember someone's name or get to know them because

00:37:21.300 --> 00:37:23.719
I was busy trying to message 20 other people

00:37:23.719 --> 00:37:28.679
back and it just felt very Non -genuine and I

00:37:28.679 --> 00:37:30.559
remember like praying to the Lord was like God.

00:37:30.579 --> 00:37:34.360
I don't like this plethora of attention That's

00:37:34.360 --> 00:37:37.300
crazy because I used to love it in the past dating

00:37:37.300 --> 00:37:40.239
apps were my favorite thing when I was freshly

00:37:40.239 --> 00:37:43.820
18, 19, 20, 21, because of the plethora of attention.

00:37:44.000 --> 00:37:45.719
If I wasn't hearing from one, I could just go

00:37:45.719 --> 00:37:48.980
on the other. That actually used to be an ideal

00:37:48.980 --> 00:37:52.900
thing for me. And now... Going into that environment

00:37:52.900 --> 00:37:54.840
going into that situation that one time my life

00:37:54.840 --> 00:37:57.280
was ideal now It's like a nightmare because I'm

00:37:57.280 --> 00:37:59.920
like God I can't weave through these people and

00:37:59.920 --> 00:38:02.179
I can already tell just based off of a couple

00:38:02.179 --> 00:38:04.699
a couple Sentences exchanged that these aren't

00:38:04.699 --> 00:38:06.619
this isn't my man of God. This isn't my man of

00:38:06.619 --> 00:38:08.579
God And I still like I'm getting overwhelmed

00:38:08.579 --> 00:38:10.679
with people that aren't from you. It feels like

00:38:10.679 --> 00:38:16.199
a distraction It feels unnecessary Like I'm just

00:38:16.199 --> 00:38:19.019
gonna wait on you to align it. I don't think

00:38:19.019 --> 00:38:21.940
my husband's on dating apps I don't think I'm

00:38:21.940 --> 00:38:23.820
going to meet my person seeking Him out like

00:38:23.820 --> 00:38:26.599
this. This feels like pursuing and seeking and

00:38:26.599 --> 00:38:28.480
instead I'm going to seek first the Kingdom of

00:38:28.480 --> 00:38:30.760
Heaven. And that was a really revealing moment

00:38:30.760 --> 00:38:32.840
for me where I was like, wow, God has definitely

00:38:32.840 --> 00:38:36.260
worked a lot in me. And I can definitely tell

00:38:36.260 --> 00:38:39.860
that my fulfillment comes from Christ now because

00:38:39.860 --> 00:38:42.559
of the fact that I'm rejecting this and saying,

00:38:42.659 --> 00:38:48.820
I don't want this. And that was a form of self

00:38:48.820 --> 00:38:50.920
-denial, too, right? Because in the past, I would

00:38:50.920 --> 00:38:53.300
have A -ed up that attention. Now I'm like, I'm

00:38:53.300 --> 00:38:57.099
denying myself that plethora of attention. And

00:38:57.099 --> 00:38:59.199
that's how I also realized that there was a real

00:38:59.199 --> 00:39:03.500
loyalty being breathed into me for whoever my

00:39:03.500 --> 00:39:06.119
future husband was. Whereas, like, I don't want

00:39:06.119 --> 00:39:08.039
anyone's attention but him. I don't know him.

00:39:08.320 --> 00:39:12.800
I don't know who he is. But he's the only attention

00:39:12.800 --> 00:39:16.590
I want. I don't want any other attention. I don't

00:39:16.590 --> 00:39:19.210
want any other male gaze. I don't care to be

00:39:19.210 --> 00:39:22.809
validated or complimented by anyone. That's all

00:39:22.809 --> 00:39:26.909
I'm seeking for. That's all I'm wanting. Like

00:39:26.909 --> 00:39:29.250
one person, not all of these others, but just

00:39:29.250 --> 00:39:32.190
one. And that's how I realized that was a real

00:39:32.190 --> 00:39:35.849
growth moment. And y 'all, that was one of the

00:39:35.849 --> 00:39:38.409
big temptations I was faced with, was having

00:39:38.409 --> 00:39:41.869
the opportunity to date these people, but knowing

00:39:41.869 --> 00:39:44.010
that God told me no. And it was like, what do

00:39:44.010 --> 00:39:48.269
you do? Do you date them anyway? Or do you accept

00:39:48.269 --> 00:39:53.489
God's no? And the Lord started revealing to me

00:39:53.489 --> 00:39:56.170
through this time period There were a couple

00:39:56.170 --> 00:39:58.050
different instances where I was sitting down

00:39:58.050 --> 00:40:01.030
I was making a list of what I look for and a

00:40:01.030 --> 00:40:02.849
husband like what what am I looking for in a

00:40:02.849 --> 00:40:05.250
husband? And I noticed the more that I progressed

00:40:05.250 --> 00:40:08.849
in my relationship with the Lord The list started

00:40:08.849 --> 00:40:11.699
shifting and changing And it started to be a

00:40:11.699 --> 00:40:14.420
lot more Christ -centered and Christ -focused.

00:40:14.780 --> 00:40:17.960
Like I remember writing down before I gave my

00:40:17.960 --> 00:40:19.800
life to Christ, this was like well over a year

00:40:19.800 --> 00:40:21.900
before, and some of the things I had listed was

00:40:21.900 --> 00:40:26.179
like, has a good job and has, you know, has a

00:40:26.179 --> 00:40:30.760
good job and he's this tall and he's like this

00:40:30.760 --> 00:40:33.079
with his family and he has this and he has that.

00:40:33.360 --> 00:40:36.239
And I didn't feel like those were lustful things

00:40:36.239 --> 00:40:42.849
because in my mind, lust was only sexual. but

00:40:42.849 --> 00:40:45.650
I want to know if there's a better word for this

00:40:45.650 --> 00:40:47.769
right now lust is the word that's come to mind

00:40:47.769 --> 00:40:50.070
but the Lord revealed to me that those things

00:40:50.070 --> 00:40:54.010
I was desiring in a partner weren't the main

00:40:54.010 --> 00:40:56.570
things I was looking for weren't Christ -centered

00:40:56.570 --> 00:40:59.849
they were fleshly they were worldly desires and

00:40:59.849 --> 00:41:01.969
although they might not have been lustful in

00:41:01.969 --> 00:41:04.070
the sexual attempts they definitely weren't loving

00:41:04.070 --> 00:41:06.690
and they weren't Christ -like love desires and

00:41:06.690 --> 00:41:08.750
they weren't desires that fed the spirit they

00:41:08.750 --> 00:41:12.789
were desires fed the flesh and you know or be

00:41:12.789 --> 00:41:15.010
running down like someone who's sarcastic but

00:41:15.010 --> 00:41:17.469
funny and like all these different things and

00:41:17.469 --> 00:41:19.630
they enjoy going out to these places and they

00:41:19.630 --> 00:41:21.610
have this kind of hobby and they have that kind

00:41:21.610 --> 00:41:24.050
of hobby and then once I started giving my life

00:41:24.050 --> 00:41:25.969
to the Lord I noticed some of things started

00:41:25.969 --> 00:41:27.929
shifting where it started turning into they love

00:41:27.929 --> 00:41:30.869
Jesus and they walk by faith and they all these

00:41:30.869 --> 00:41:32.710
things and I started noticing that every time

00:41:32.710 --> 00:41:35.829
I encountered a counterfeit meaning someone who

00:41:35.829 --> 00:41:39.329
looked very close to my man of God but there

00:41:39.329 --> 00:41:42.590
were some things that were off Those were learning

00:41:42.590 --> 00:41:45.929
moments for me because I started to when I started

00:41:45.929 --> 00:41:48.170
when I was looking for what is missing in this

00:41:48.170 --> 00:41:50.130
person What is the thing that isn't sitting right

00:41:50.130 --> 00:41:53.510
with me? I was able to see that is what I'm seeking

00:41:53.510 --> 00:41:56.250
and a husband that they don't have For example

00:41:56.250 --> 00:41:58.550
walking by faith. I never thought to put that

00:41:58.550 --> 00:42:01.289
But now that's one of the things I look for the

00:42:01.289 --> 00:42:03.349
most does this person put their full faith in

00:42:03.349 --> 00:42:05.289
the Lord? Or are they putting their faith in

00:42:05.289 --> 00:42:07.170
themselves because you can't have that one foot

00:42:07.170 --> 00:42:08.989
one foot out The Lord has been working in me

00:42:08.989 --> 00:42:12.760
for years of walking by faith not by sight, of

00:42:12.760 --> 00:42:15.539
trusting that He is Lord and that His will be

00:42:15.539 --> 00:42:17.840
done. And if He calls me to do something, do

00:42:17.840 --> 00:42:20.960
it, deny the fear. God didn't give you the spirit

00:42:20.960 --> 00:42:24.199
of fear. So when I ran into a man that had a

00:42:24.199 --> 00:42:26.019
lot of these other attributes, I noticed them

00:42:26.019 --> 00:42:30.030
consistently giving into fear. consistently listening

00:42:30.030 --> 00:42:32.429
to the fear, giving into the temptation, like

00:42:32.429 --> 00:42:34.389
not taking the leaps of faith that God was calling

00:42:34.389 --> 00:42:36.949
him to take, I started recognizing, ah, that's

00:42:36.949 --> 00:42:38.530
something I really seek in a partner, someone

00:42:38.530 --> 00:42:40.489
who will take the leaps of faith, someone who

00:42:40.489 --> 00:42:43.090
will walk by faith, because I'm called to do

00:42:43.090 --> 00:42:46.510
that. And I've been working on that for years

00:42:46.510 --> 00:42:48.550
in my relationship with the Lord. So like I said,

00:42:48.690 --> 00:42:50.329
I have to be whoever is leading me one day. I

00:42:50.329 --> 00:42:52.130
have to be able to be, if I had to be blindfolded

00:42:52.130 --> 00:42:53.929
in that moment, trust that they will take those

00:42:53.929 --> 00:42:56.929
leaps and obey God for me. Like we will make

00:42:56.929 --> 00:42:59.809
it to that place. Like that and me following

00:42:59.809 --> 00:43:03.349
him, he's going to be following God. And that

00:43:03.349 --> 00:43:05.409
one person very much kind of contradicted that

00:43:05.409 --> 00:43:07.730
while I was taking these leaps of faith and moving

00:43:07.730 --> 00:43:09.389
my faith, this person was more just going to

00:43:09.389 --> 00:43:12.340
step where they could see and plan ahead. so

00:43:12.340 --> 00:43:14.340
I knew later to write down my list of someone

00:43:14.340 --> 00:43:17.139
who walks by faith not by sight and I started

00:43:17.139 --> 00:43:20.420
noticing how much might be in the last time I

00:43:20.420 --> 00:43:24.340
did it my list was like all godly things of course

00:43:24.340 --> 00:43:26.519
I was asking God someone I'm physically attracted

00:43:26.519 --> 00:43:29.079
to but I stopped having physical requirements

00:43:29.079 --> 00:43:31.400
I stopped putting this kind of height and this

00:43:31.400 --> 00:43:34.099
kind of eye color and this kind of thing like

00:43:34.099 --> 00:43:38.480
I just I those things really started being removed

00:43:38.920 --> 00:43:41.780
Instead of asking for a man like saying God I

00:43:41.780 --> 00:43:43.500
want a man with this kind of job or this kind

00:43:43.500 --> 00:43:47.840
of thing just a man that can provide a Provider

00:43:47.840 --> 00:43:52.679
and that that's what we've got a provider Someone

00:43:52.679 --> 00:43:54.699
who's generous someone who's caring someone who's

00:43:54.699 --> 00:43:58.460
loving but not putting all these physical general

00:43:58.460 --> 00:44:01.559
because Generous and a Christlike way looks a

00:44:01.559 --> 00:44:07.239
lot different than an award the way And like

00:44:07.239 --> 00:44:10.019
I said, my list, I didn't think my list was bad

00:44:10.019 --> 00:44:14.179
years ago. It didn't seem really lustful. But

00:44:14.179 --> 00:44:17.119
when I look back now, it's like those aren't

00:44:17.119 --> 00:44:19.599
the things that are gonna lead me closer to the

00:44:19.599 --> 00:44:21.340
Lord. Those aren't the things that are gonna

00:44:21.340 --> 00:44:24.199
cultivate my relationship with Christ. This single

00:44:24.199 --> 00:44:29.719
season, y 'all, has caused me to reflect. I used

00:44:29.719 --> 00:44:31.239
to be one of those people that I blamed everybody

00:44:31.239 --> 00:44:33.619
out. Well, we didn't work out because this guy

00:44:33.619 --> 00:44:36.639
had this kind of problem. and he did this for

00:44:36.639 --> 00:44:39.860
me especially in my early 20s like in my late

00:44:39.860 --> 00:44:42.880
teens 18 19 in my early 20s everyone else was

00:44:42.880 --> 00:44:45.800
the problem he did this he did that he did i

00:44:45.800 --> 00:44:50.480
i was never the problem and once the past couple

00:44:50.480 --> 00:44:52.880
years i've really focused in on my relationship

00:44:52.880 --> 00:44:54.800
with the lord i was able to see how many times

00:44:54.800 --> 00:44:58.719
i what now i'm not saying that i that i was the

00:44:58.719 --> 00:45:01.380
sole cause i'm not saying they were the sole

00:45:01.380 --> 00:45:05.920
cause But I'm seeing now a lot of the problems

00:45:05.920 --> 00:45:08.840
I carried that I was not willing to acknowledge

00:45:08.840 --> 00:45:12.739
back then. And I also see now how a lot of things

00:45:12.739 --> 00:45:15.400
I carried caused me to pick people that were

00:45:15.400 --> 00:45:18.400
going to treat me poorly and were not gonna be

00:45:18.400 --> 00:45:20.699
what I was looking for in a person. And that

00:45:20.699 --> 00:45:22.500
those things needed to be healed and those things

00:45:22.500 --> 00:45:25.539
needed to be worked on. I was really reflecting

00:45:25.539 --> 00:45:31.340
last night, y 'all, on just how... How much of

00:45:31.340 --> 00:45:33.119
a change God has done in my life in the past

00:45:33.119 --> 00:45:34.820
couple years when they came to social media I

00:45:34.820 --> 00:45:36.960
used to be someone who I posted everything I

00:45:36.960 --> 00:45:39.440
was doing on social media constantly That's because

00:45:39.440 --> 00:45:41.139
I wanted people to think that my life looked

00:45:41.139 --> 00:45:43.519
like so much fun and all I want to be like Danielle

00:45:43.519 --> 00:45:45.480
I want to have her life. I love that kind of

00:45:45.480 --> 00:45:48.119
attention. But also anytime I posted something

00:45:48.119 --> 00:45:52.079
I would get male attention too. It was like a

00:45:52.079 --> 00:45:54.820
double win and I was reflecting last night where

00:45:54.820 --> 00:45:58.099
it was like dang, I keep compared to like what

00:45:58.099 --> 00:45:59.820
I used to do, like I'll share my testimonies

00:45:59.820 --> 00:46:02.480
and what goth has done in my life. But when it

00:46:02.480 --> 00:46:04.820
comes to my day to day play by play, no one has

00:46:04.820 --> 00:46:08.960
any idea. Which is so out of the norm for me,

00:46:08.980 --> 00:46:11.699
especially growing up with social media. And

00:46:11.699 --> 00:46:15.099
I, you know, I used to have a decent, I had a

00:46:15.099 --> 00:46:18.360
pretty pop and Instagram page when I was in middle

00:46:18.360 --> 00:46:20.039
school, high school, my early college years,

00:46:20.079 --> 00:46:22.699
and I'd shut that down like, Cancel all that

00:46:22.699 --> 00:46:25.880
out and have like a very small account now that

00:46:25.880 --> 00:46:28.860
I keep a lot of things to myself And I realize

00:46:28.860 --> 00:46:31.300
now it's like people don't know where I'm what

00:46:31.300 --> 00:46:33.320
I'm doing on a Friday or Saturday night They

00:46:33.320 --> 00:46:36.440
don't know who my friends are They don't know

00:46:36.440 --> 00:46:39.400
What I do for fun. They don't know where I'm

00:46:39.400 --> 00:46:43.659
at like none of my life that I used to so frequently

00:46:43.659 --> 00:46:46.539
post and publish anyone knows about now but I

00:46:46.539 --> 00:46:48.840
used to go to events and do things that I didn't

00:46:48.840 --> 00:46:51.019
even want to do solely for the sake of it looking

00:46:51.019 --> 00:46:53.599
like I had a fun life like there were bars I

00:46:53.599 --> 00:46:55.599
would go to there were parties there were concerts

00:46:55.599 --> 00:46:57.980
that I knew I shouldn't have been going to going

00:46:57.980 --> 00:46:59.460
with groups of people I knew I shouldn't have

00:46:59.460 --> 00:47:02.219
been going with when I was younger but I did

00:47:02.219 --> 00:47:04.000
it so that way because I knew other people would

00:47:04.000 --> 00:47:06.239
look at it and be like I wish I could have gone

00:47:06.239 --> 00:47:09.099
she looks like she's having so much fun I was

00:47:09.099 --> 00:47:13.119
I had my friends were quantity not quality because

00:47:13.119 --> 00:47:15.980
I felt like that was more the fun thing is having

00:47:15.980 --> 00:47:18.239
a plethora of friends and also the more people

00:47:18.239 --> 00:47:20.179
you had in your contact list more people you

00:47:20.179 --> 00:47:23.179
could go out with more opportunities to leave

00:47:23.179 --> 00:47:27.019
home like I said y 'all my my trauma and my projection

00:47:27.019 --> 00:47:30.119
and my pains caused me to put other people's

00:47:30.119 --> 00:47:33.300
feelings second in mine first and that was something

00:47:33.300 --> 00:47:36.219
that God had to work on me so heavily in because

00:47:36.219 --> 00:47:39.449
when you when you are married one day it's not

00:47:39.449 --> 00:47:42.889
you first it's not you first god has really shown

00:47:42.889 --> 00:47:47.769
me that what marriage should be is you working

00:47:47.769 --> 00:47:50.190
on your relationship with christ independently

00:47:50.190 --> 00:47:52.530
that person is working on their relationship

00:47:52.530 --> 00:47:54.889
with christ independently you both are seeking

00:47:54.889 --> 00:47:57.090
first the kingdom of heaven you both are focused

00:47:57.090 --> 00:47:58.670
on your relationships with christ and starting

00:47:58.670 --> 00:48:00.489
to be more christ like christ should always be

00:48:00.489 --> 00:48:03.389
your top relationship your top priority your

00:48:03.389 --> 00:48:06.530
spouse should never ever ever your kids no one

00:48:06.530 --> 00:48:10.260
should be above God no one should be above Jesus

00:48:10.260 --> 00:48:13.780
your parents. No one should be above. He is the

00:48:13.780 --> 00:48:18.280
source Okay, you cannot do without him. He is

00:48:18.280 --> 00:48:21.559
first When we when we are in heaven one day,

00:48:21.559 --> 00:48:23.619
we're not gonna have spouses like we like we

00:48:23.619 --> 00:48:27.099
do now We're gonna be married to the Lord He

00:48:27.099 --> 00:48:29.940
is first in this life and he is first in the

00:48:29.940 --> 00:48:34.639
eternal life him first when both parties are

00:48:34.639 --> 00:48:37.179
fixed on the Lord they are where they you know

00:48:37.179 --> 00:48:40.780
you are locked in after that when you when you

00:48:40.780 --> 00:48:42.940
are a marriage is when you are coming together

00:48:42.940 --> 00:48:45.400
and you are both still pursuing the kingdom of

00:48:45.400 --> 00:48:47.219
heaven but you're pursuing it together now you're

00:48:47.219 --> 00:48:50.280
helping each other get there you're doing work

00:48:50.280 --> 00:48:52.519
to further the kingdom of heaven together you

00:48:52.519 --> 00:48:55.400
should always both be going in the direction

00:48:55.400 --> 00:48:57.360
of the Heavenly Father marriage is when you guys

00:48:57.360 --> 00:49:00.679
come together later on and do it together right

00:49:01.690 --> 00:49:04.110
I hope I explained that well. That was a little

00:49:04.110 --> 00:49:06.030
bit wordy. But the Lord really had to reveal

00:49:06.030 --> 00:49:09.289
that to me that my personal goal should be seeking

00:49:09.289 --> 00:49:10.889
first the kingdom of heaven, my relationship

00:49:10.889 --> 00:49:13.429
with Christ. And whoever I marry one day, that

00:49:13.429 --> 00:49:16.110
should be their main goal too. And that should

00:49:16.110 --> 00:49:18.849
be their goal before they meet me. They should

00:49:18.849 --> 00:49:21.590
already be seeking that first. This was one that

00:49:21.590 --> 00:49:23.630
God had to really drill into me is he's not sending

00:49:23.630 --> 00:49:26.110
me to play build a man. He's not sending me to

00:49:26.110 --> 00:49:28.489
find a man and reveal Christ to him and build

00:49:28.489 --> 00:49:31.349
him up and do all of these kinds of things. Because

00:49:31.349 --> 00:49:33.070
that was a problem I had before is maybe I can

00:49:33.070 --> 00:49:35.110
fix them. Maybe I can heal them. Maybe I can

00:49:35.110 --> 00:49:40.010
do this He's revealed to me time and time again,

00:49:40.010 --> 00:49:44.610
he is not calling me to be unequally yoked Yes,

00:49:44.630 --> 00:49:47.429
I should be being a light and like doing my kind

00:49:47.429 --> 00:49:48.989
of plant seeds and lead other people closer to

00:49:48.989 --> 00:49:53.650
Christ, but my life partner That is not what

00:49:53.650 --> 00:49:56.010
God is sending me into I know that for a fact

00:49:56.010 --> 00:49:58.530
that's not what God is sending me into I'm not

00:49:58.530 --> 00:50:01.519
being sent to play build a man I'm playing build

00:50:01.519 --> 00:50:07.820
a bear here and That really that closed a lot

00:50:07.820 --> 00:50:09.739
of doors on people I was looking at in the past,

00:50:10.219 --> 00:50:14.820
you know, but That helped me to really focus

00:50:14.820 --> 00:50:18.440
in on who I should be pursuing but who I should

00:50:18.440 --> 00:50:22.139
be open to letting pursue me I want to reword

00:50:22.139 --> 00:50:24.280
that because that was one thing I think I dropped

00:50:24.280 --> 00:50:26.119
in the podcast a little bit ago But I didn't

00:50:26.119 --> 00:50:28.219
focus too much on the Lord really revealed to

00:50:28.219 --> 00:50:31.400
me that I am NOT supposed to be pursuing I am

00:50:31.400 --> 00:50:35.760
supposed to be being pursued Now that is not

00:50:35.760 --> 00:50:38.380
saying that I am NOT supposed to Because I had

00:50:38.380 --> 00:50:39.960
a real problem in the past y 'all was seeking

00:50:39.960 --> 00:50:43.119
out things myself Getting on dating apps and

00:50:43.119 --> 00:50:45.360
like as a woman again y 'all I'm talking from

00:50:45.360 --> 00:50:48.199
a female perspective from a woman's perspective

00:50:49.799 --> 00:50:51.940
And I have heard many other women who are now

00:50:51.940 --> 00:50:55.119
married share the same share very similar where

00:50:55.119 --> 00:50:57.800
God has Revealed and spoken a similar thing to

00:50:57.800 --> 00:51:01.900
them that the husband will pursue them They are

00:51:01.900 --> 00:51:05.320
not pursuing the husband Meaning they're not

00:51:05.320 --> 00:51:06.880
going out and like approaching all these men

00:51:06.880 --> 00:51:08.340
of bars They're not going out and seeking them

00:51:08.340 --> 00:51:10.139
all out on dating apps and seeking them on social

00:51:10.139 --> 00:51:12.139
media or anything like that The Lord has time

00:51:12.139 --> 00:51:13.920
and time again brought me to the story of Ruth

00:51:13.920 --> 00:51:18.170
and Boaz and we see Ruth, she is setting her

00:51:18.170 --> 00:51:20.730
mind on things, but she's, she's saying her mind,

00:51:20.969 --> 00:51:22.730
we always talk about seek first the kingdom of

00:51:22.730 --> 00:51:25.110
heaven and it's right and his righteousness and

00:51:25.110 --> 00:51:26.389
trustfully things are going to be added onto

00:51:26.389 --> 00:51:29.250
you. She had the opportunity to go back to her

00:51:29.250 --> 00:51:33.110
old home and to her false gods, but she chose

00:51:33.110 --> 00:51:35.989
to stay with her mother -in -law and to seek

00:51:35.989 --> 00:51:38.630
first the kingdom of heaven, to be a follower

00:51:38.630 --> 00:51:43.090
of the heavenly father of the Lord. And she was

00:51:43.090 --> 00:51:45.519
just doing what she was being led to do and at

00:51:45.519 --> 00:51:47.820
that time that was gleaning in the fields and

00:51:47.820 --> 00:51:50.840
just picking up what was falling afterwards and

00:51:50.840 --> 00:51:53.079
just trying to basically provide. She wasn't

00:51:53.079 --> 00:51:55.179
going out seeking a man, she wasn't doing any

00:51:55.179 --> 00:51:58.380
of that, but in following God's voice and doing

00:51:58.380 --> 00:52:01.800
what she was called to do, he placed her in front

00:52:01.800 --> 00:52:05.219
of Boaz. He placed her, her listening to God's

00:52:05.219 --> 00:52:07.900
voice and God's call placed her in the area in

00:52:07.900 --> 00:52:12.159
the position she needed to be in. Boaz had a

00:52:12.159 --> 00:52:14.260
sparked interest and he started asking about

00:52:14.260 --> 00:52:17.460
her. He started doing all the you know speaking

00:52:17.460 --> 00:52:19.800
to people saying like hey don't leave her alone

00:52:19.800 --> 00:52:22.500
leave her be and he even was telling her like

00:52:22.500 --> 00:52:26.079
get water from here you know glean in this field.

00:52:28.340 --> 00:52:30.619
Listening to God's voice placed her where she

00:52:30.619 --> 00:52:33.480
needed to be to be noticed by him and he started

00:52:33.480 --> 00:52:37.829
the pursuit by taking care of her. Now I want

00:52:37.829 --> 00:52:40.909
to make this very clear that God will still call

00:52:40.909 --> 00:52:44.289
us to take actions I've talked about this many

00:52:44.289 --> 00:52:46.269
many times again faith without works is dead

00:52:46.269 --> 00:52:50.489
Okay So trusting God to align you where you need

00:52:50.489 --> 00:52:53.429
to be trust that listening to God's voice He

00:52:53.429 --> 00:52:55.269
is also going to tell you when you need to move

00:52:55.269 --> 00:52:58.250
and when you need to take action And we do see

00:52:58.250 --> 00:53:01.670
that eventually After Boaz had started the pursuit

00:53:01.670 --> 00:53:04.369
and showed his interest, then later on Ruth's

00:53:04.369 --> 00:53:06.969
mother -in -law guided her to lay at his feet.

00:53:07.630 --> 00:53:10.530
And in doing that, when she obeyed and did that,

00:53:10.869 --> 00:53:13.070
the door was opened for the conversation of marriage.

00:53:14.869 --> 00:53:17.030
The Lord has really revealed to me time and time

00:53:17.030 --> 00:53:21.849
again that women of God, we are not pursuing

00:53:21.849 --> 00:53:24.739
and seeking and Finding the husband we're not

00:53:24.739 --> 00:53:26.840
supposed to be constantly trying to position

00:53:26.840 --> 00:53:29.900
ourselves and trying to grasp at him and trying

00:53:29.900 --> 00:53:33.519
to pursue him Trust that the Lord is going to

00:53:33.519 --> 00:53:35.659
lead him to pursue us But you also have to be

00:53:35.659 --> 00:53:38.000
willing to obey when the Lord is calling you

00:53:38.000 --> 00:53:40.599
to take acts of faith when the Lord is telling

00:53:40.599 --> 00:53:45.739
you to show mutual interest, show common interest,

00:53:45.780 --> 00:53:47.880
things like that. And that was one that was kind

00:53:47.880 --> 00:53:50.239
of hard for me to understand of what is pursuing

00:53:50.239 --> 00:53:52.199
and what is, and that's one that you just have

00:53:52.199 --> 00:53:54.420
to pray to the Lord for him to reveal it to you

00:53:54.420 --> 00:53:56.059
personally. So when I was talking earlier about

00:53:56.059 --> 00:53:57.880
how I feel the Lord revealed to me that I'm not

00:53:57.880 --> 00:54:00.019
supposed to be pursuing a man, that is what I'm

00:54:00.019 --> 00:54:03.170
referring to. That I am not supposed to be trying

00:54:03.170 --> 00:54:05.250
to get on all these dating apps I'm not supposed

00:54:05.250 --> 00:54:07.670
to be trying to go out to bars Trying to go out

00:54:07.670 --> 00:54:09.349
to all these social settings trying to scroll

00:54:09.349 --> 00:54:12.309
through media social media trying to post stuff

00:54:12.309 --> 00:54:14.590
hoping that someone will see it Just trying to

00:54:14.590 --> 00:54:16.929
do all of these things instead focus on what

00:54:16.929 --> 00:54:19.510
God is calling me to do and Trust that he will

00:54:19.510 --> 00:54:22.130
guide me to the right place Trust me that he

00:54:22.130 --> 00:54:25.610
will put me in the right field But listening

00:54:25.610 --> 00:54:29.159
to him will put me where I need to be So that

00:54:29.159 --> 00:54:30.940
was what I was referring to when I was talking

00:54:30.940 --> 00:54:34.320
about pursuing earlier and men who are listening

00:54:34.320 --> 00:54:39.400
to this Because I'm not a pursuer God has not

00:54:39.400 --> 00:54:42.039
really revealed to me a lot about the pursuit

00:54:42.039 --> 00:54:44.480
So I don't have a lot of advice for you there.

00:54:44.480 --> 00:54:48.539
I would recommend that you pray for an understanding

00:54:48.539 --> 00:54:51.860
and Pray that the Lord leads you maybe to a testimony

00:54:51.860 --> 00:54:54.780
to something where someone else has some insight

00:54:55.210 --> 00:54:57.349
I would recommend that you get insight on that

00:54:57.349 --> 00:55:00.150
from a man because the way that I view pursuing

00:55:00.150 --> 00:55:03.969
may be a bit different, okay? But yeah, so that

00:55:03.969 --> 00:55:06.769
was another thing that the Lord revealed to me.

00:55:06.789 --> 00:55:10.849
There was also an impatience, right? I had impatience

00:55:10.849 --> 00:55:16.349
where it was like I was very quick to emotionally

00:55:16.349 --> 00:55:19.670
invest myself and the Lord had to reveal to me

00:55:20.250 --> 00:55:23.030
That doesn't have to be done in one day. The

00:55:23.030 --> 00:55:24.610
second I would start thinking, oh my gosh, is

00:55:24.610 --> 00:55:26.710
this person my husband? I started getting ready

00:55:26.710 --> 00:55:29.250
to immediately emotionally invest in them. And

00:55:29.250 --> 00:55:31.250
sometimes we can get so caught up in obeying

00:55:31.250 --> 00:55:33.329
the Lord that we put our emotions and our feelings

00:55:33.329 --> 00:55:35.570
to the wayside. And I do have a testimony on

00:55:35.570 --> 00:55:38.489
that. There was a situation I mentioned earlier

00:55:38.489 --> 00:55:40.349
with a person who didn't really walk by faith.

00:55:41.969 --> 00:55:43.769
And the Lord revealed this to me at that time.

00:55:43.989 --> 00:55:47.250
I believed immediately because of the way that

00:55:47.250 --> 00:55:50.309
we started communicating. And the way that we

00:55:50.309 --> 00:55:52.670
met each other that this was a god -aligned thing

00:55:52.670 --> 00:55:54.769
and I immediately jumped to oh, this is probably

00:55:54.769 --> 00:55:57.510
my husband Instead of really praying for it to

00:55:57.510 --> 00:56:00.869
be revealed to me looking for the signs and like

00:56:00.869 --> 00:56:04.150
just taking a look at the fruit I started emotionally

00:56:04.150 --> 00:56:06.690
investing myself as if this was gonna be my husband

00:56:06.690 --> 00:56:10.510
and I didn't really stop to think How do I feel

00:56:10.510 --> 00:56:15.170
about this person? Do I like some of these qualities?

00:56:15.829 --> 00:56:18.650
Do I like some of these things? And when I started

00:56:18.650 --> 00:56:20.429
feeling those feelings and they were coming up,

00:56:20.449 --> 00:56:24.309
I actually started pushing those feelings aside,

00:56:24.750 --> 00:56:26.829
saying, well, yeah, I feel that way. But if it's

00:56:26.829 --> 00:56:30.309
God's will, it's God's will. I was invalidating

00:56:30.309 --> 00:56:33.449
my own feelings. And I was also ignoring my discernment.

00:56:33.530 --> 00:56:36.429
And I was ignoring that God was trying to kind

00:56:36.429 --> 00:56:38.230
of warn me, hey, you don't feel right about these

00:56:38.230 --> 00:56:41.800
things because these things aren't right. I was

00:56:41.800 --> 00:56:44.719
in a space where I was so focused on obeying

00:56:44.719 --> 00:56:48.000
God and not going out of his will because I really

00:56:48.000 --> 00:56:51.699
love God and he has brought me some amazing blessings

00:56:51.699 --> 00:56:54.519
and I didn't want to throw away a gift from God

00:56:54.519 --> 00:56:58.320
and I view a spouse, a partner, as a gift from

00:56:58.320 --> 00:57:02.239
God and one that I don't want to hurt them. I

00:57:02.239 --> 00:57:04.280
don't want to throw them away whenever they come

00:57:04.280 --> 00:57:09.079
and I was very focused on um self -denial at

00:57:09.079 --> 00:57:11.000
that time and being like well maybe i'm just

00:57:11.000 --> 00:57:15.480
being judgmental and um you know the i can't

00:57:15.480 --> 00:57:17.099
expect this person to be perfect and maybe i'm

00:57:17.099 --> 00:57:21.409
just expecting perfection and i I'm believing

00:57:21.409 --> 00:57:23.909
that this is who God sent me and God I don't

00:57:23.909 --> 00:57:25.309
want to be ungrateful and I don't want to throw

00:57:25.309 --> 00:57:27.429
it away and maybe you're just building a Testimony

00:57:27.429 --> 00:57:29.590
in us and like maybe I just need to stick around

00:57:29.590 --> 00:57:33.550
a little bit longer and I extended It was overall

00:57:33.550 --> 00:57:36.389
like a total couple weeks before fully cut communication

00:57:36.389 --> 00:57:38.630
with this person. It didn't last too long It

00:57:38.630 --> 00:57:40.570
wasn't more than like two weeks. I don't think

00:57:41.429 --> 00:57:43.869
but it was like a couple days in that I'd always

00:57:43.869 --> 00:57:47.010
started feeling that way and I realized I was

00:57:47.010 --> 00:57:49.170
putting my emotions to the wayside out of fear

00:57:49.170 --> 00:57:52.130
of disobeying God and I didn't stop to think

00:57:52.130 --> 00:57:57.849
that like God cares about my feelings and I if

00:57:57.849 --> 00:57:59.929
this is my spouse I'd be a little bit more sure

00:57:59.929 --> 00:58:02.389
about them I would be a little bit more sure

00:58:02.389 --> 00:58:08.909
about them than I felt and glory be to God He

00:58:08.909 --> 00:58:10.809
revealed to me and gave me the strength to walk

00:58:10.809 --> 00:58:14.849
away and Detach but yeah that that was another

00:58:14.849 --> 00:58:18.369
thing This the Lord had to show me is how I was

00:58:18.369 --> 00:58:21.210
very quick to you know in the past I used to

00:58:21.210 --> 00:58:24.230
put myself first and all of that and I kind of

00:58:24.230 --> 00:58:25.989
jumped to the opposite side of the spectrum where

00:58:25.989 --> 00:58:28.389
I was very quick to put myself Last and put what

00:58:28.389 --> 00:58:31.130
I believed to be obeying God first so much that

00:58:31.130 --> 00:58:34.050
I wasn't listening to God and I wasn't listening

00:58:34.050 --> 00:58:38.440
to the determined and I won't dive too much into

00:58:38.440 --> 00:58:40.719
this, but he showed me that there is actually

00:58:40.719 --> 00:58:45.280
a little bit of a misunderstanding and a skewed

00:58:45.280 --> 00:58:47.199
belief that I was still holding onto. When I

00:58:47.199 --> 00:58:49.780
was in New Age spirituality, there was a big

00:58:49.780 --> 00:58:53.539
idea of soulmates and twin flames. And the idea

00:58:53.539 --> 00:58:55.039
behind that, and I'm stating right now, I want

00:58:55.039 --> 00:58:57.079
to be very clear, I do not believe in this and

00:58:57.079 --> 00:58:59.840
this is not biblical. Soulmates are not biblical.

00:59:00.380 --> 00:59:04.940
Twin flames are not biblical. That is not a spirit

00:59:04.940 --> 00:59:09.380
-filled ideal. Okay, the idea of soulmates actually

00:59:09.380 --> 00:59:12.760
comes from I believe it was Greek mythology in

00:59:12.760 --> 00:59:15.480
which there was one soul that was split into

00:59:15.480 --> 00:59:17.900
two and they were wondering the earth looking

00:59:17.900 --> 00:59:20.880
for their other half was the idea behind the

00:59:20.880 --> 00:59:25.380
soulmates and the idea behind twin flames was

00:59:25.380 --> 00:59:27.900
something similar where it was supposed to be

00:59:27.900 --> 00:59:31.559
like kind of two halves of a person where you

00:59:31.559 --> 00:59:34.150
only have one of them A lot of people in the

00:59:34.150 --> 00:59:36.389
New Age believed that there were multiple soulmates

00:59:36.389 --> 00:59:38.789
but there was only one twin flame and that if

00:59:38.789 --> 00:59:41.969
you met your twin flame, your life would go to

00:59:41.969 --> 00:59:44.630
crap. It was a weird kind of ideal where it was

00:59:44.630 --> 00:59:46.730
like you're a mirror of each other and you reveal

00:59:46.730 --> 00:59:48.989
things to each other and you're basically the

00:59:48.989 --> 00:59:50.869
same person so you're constantly hurting each

00:59:50.869 --> 00:59:52.550
other and getting each other angry and all these

00:59:52.550 --> 00:59:54.630
kind of things. When I look back now, it was

00:59:54.630 --> 00:59:57.289
just a way to validate toxic relationships and

00:59:57.289 --> 00:59:59.309
encourage a toxic relationship, an un -Christ

00:59:59.309 --> 01:00:02.050
-like relationship. Because we know in Scripture

01:00:02.050 --> 01:00:05.090
that your man or woman of God is not going to

01:00:05.090 --> 01:00:09.010
treat you in a lot of the toxic consistent ways

01:00:09.010 --> 01:00:13.110
that these ideals validate. And when I look back

01:00:13.110 --> 01:00:15.050
now, it was like, dang, there was a lot of treatment

01:00:15.050 --> 01:00:16.949
and a lot of things I was accepting because I

01:00:16.949 --> 01:00:18.710
believe that these people were some kind of divinely

01:00:18.710 --> 01:00:21.869
brought. The Lord had to release me of the idea

01:00:21.869 --> 01:00:23.829
that there's only one person out there for me.

01:00:25.539 --> 01:00:28.500
Now, do I believe that God knows who is gonna

01:00:28.500 --> 01:00:31.480
be very good for us and places us in their pathway

01:00:31.480 --> 01:00:35.380
and then their sight? Yes, 100%. But I don't

01:00:35.380 --> 01:00:36.960
believe that there's only one person on this

01:00:36.960 --> 01:00:38.940
earth that you are meant for and your life is

01:00:38.940 --> 01:00:41.360
gonna go to total crap and if you miss that person

01:00:41.360 --> 01:00:42.760
then you're just never gonna get married ever

01:00:42.760 --> 01:00:46.599
again. I do also believe that God doesn't give

01:00:46.599 --> 01:00:48.699
us things before he knows that we are ready for

01:00:48.699 --> 01:00:51.300
them. If he knows that we're not ready and he

01:00:51.300 --> 01:00:53.719
doesn't want it to be Wasted or there's not a

01:00:53.719 --> 01:00:55.340
lesson to take out us. He's not gonna release

01:00:55.340 --> 01:01:00.719
it to us yet So I trust in God's timing But I

01:01:00.719 --> 01:01:02.659
realized that the reason why I was holding on

01:01:02.659 --> 01:01:04.960
to that person very tightly was I was still having

01:01:04.960 --> 01:01:07.639
some residing New Age spiritual ideas of like

01:01:07.639 --> 01:01:10.320
well This is the only this is my person and like

01:01:10.320 --> 01:01:12.619
is this the only person I'm ever gonna have so

01:01:12.619 --> 01:01:15.519
I just have to deal with it and like work through

01:01:15.519 --> 01:01:18.829
it and That was a real kind of trauma release,

01:01:19.010 --> 01:01:20.409
and the Lord really took me through a season

01:01:20.409 --> 01:01:24.690
of reminding me that those aren't biblical ideals.

01:01:25.489 --> 01:01:27.269
I didn't get those ideals through reading the

01:01:27.269 --> 01:01:29.210
Bible. I got those ideals in my spirituality,

01:01:29.309 --> 01:01:31.670
and if I read God's Word, it actually contradicts

01:01:31.670 --> 01:01:35.280
those things. Now, I am not gonna act like I

01:01:35.280 --> 01:01:38.619
understand how God works and how God moves in

01:01:38.619 --> 01:01:42.599
relationships and how He places a person, what

01:01:42.599 --> 01:01:45.179
happens with that. I'm not gonna act like I know

01:01:45.179 --> 01:01:49.079
all about that. I do not. But I will say that

01:01:49.079 --> 01:01:55.440
it's not just you have one person and the soulmate

01:01:55.440 --> 01:01:59.099
ideal. And that it's not gonna be a person that

01:01:59.099 --> 01:02:03.050
treats you like crap. Okay? Someone needs to

01:02:03.050 --> 01:02:07.570
hear that today. Take a deep breath. And if right

01:02:07.570 --> 01:02:09.369
now you're focused on someone who is not showing

01:02:09.369 --> 01:02:14.170
man or God, man or woman of God attributes, someone

01:02:14.170 --> 01:02:16.869
who is being hurtful, someone who is being tempting,

01:02:17.050 --> 01:02:20.650
someone who is leading you further away from

01:02:20.650 --> 01:02:22.269
Christ than they are leading you towards Christ,

01:02:22.289 --> 01:02:25.909
it's time to pray to the Lord. And it's time

01:02:25.909 --> 01:02:29.409
to evaluate if that relationship, if that person,

01:02:29.429 --> 01:02:32.809
if that connection came from God. And if it has

01:02:32.809 --> 01:02:37.429
not, what next step do you need to take? Because

01:02:37.429 --> 01:02:39.230
I'm gonna tell y 'all from personal experience

01:02:39.230 --> 01:02:41.389
that continuing to hold on and continuing to

01:02:41.389 --> 01:02:44.289
keep the door open isn't the answer. I had that

01:02:44.289 --> 01:02:46.050
problem. That was something the Lord has been

01:02:46.050 --> 01:02:49.000
working on me with in my single season two. is

01:02:49.000 --> 01:02:51.099
closing the door and not feeling guilt. I used

01:02:51.099 --> 01:02:54.380
to feel so guilty rejecting someone or closing

01:02:54.380 --> 01:02:56.000
the door where sometimes like I wouldn't tell

01:02:56.000 --> 01:02:57.760
them how I was really feeling or I would say,

01:02:57.760 --> 01:03:00.659
yeah, we can still be friends. We can still leave

01:03:00.659 --> 01:03:05.300
the door open. And I would later on see why that

01:03:05.300 --> 01:03:11.800
door can't be left open. Now, I want to be very

01:03:11.800 --> 01:03:15.039
thoughtful with the way that I word this, but

01:03:15.039 --> 01:03:17.280
the Lord had to really reveal this to me too.

01:03:18.360 --> 01:03:21.679
that leaving open doors to your previous partners

01:03:21.679 --> 01:03:25.820
and your previous relationships can really damage

01:03:25.820 --> 01:03:30.679
or harm your future relationship. And sometimes

01:03:30.679 --> 01:03:35.159
God will ask you to close those doors and shut

01:03:35.159 --> 01:03:41.019
those down first. You know, just to give you

01:03:41.019 --> 01:03:46.360
an example of what I have seen happen before.

01:03:47.940 --> 01:03:52.820
someone has you know messy if you have a relationship

01:03:52.820 --> 01:03:54.260
from your past where that person was a little

01:03:54.260 --> 01:03:56.719
bit jealous or maybe that person did some toxic

01:03:56.719 --> 01:03:59.260
things that person might still have feelings

01:03:59.260 --> 01:04:02.000
for you that person whatever whatever happens

01:04:02.000 --> 01:04:05.780
okay and you get into a new relationship that's

01:04:05.780 --> 01:04:08.219
a good relationship it's a healthy relationship

01:04:08.219 --> 01:04:11.599
but there's drama that starts coming up from

01:04:11.599 --> 01:04:13.539
that person from the past. That person from the

01:04:13.539 --> 01:04:16.400
past starts texting, starts saying, I want you

01:04:16.400 --> 01:04:18.880
back, starts all of these things. Or maybe they

01:04:18.880 --> 01:04:22.039
start stalking the other person. Maybe they start

01:04:22.039 --> 01:04:24.139
trying to sprinkle some deception, sprinkling

01:04:24.139 --> 01:04:26.480
some things because that door is still open,

01:04:26.579 --> 01:04:28.500
because they're still able to call and text them,

01:04:28.539 --> 01:04:30.039
because they're still able to show up to their

01:04:30.039 --> 01:04:32.099
house, because they're still in their hangout

01:04:32.099 --> 01:04:33.900
circle, because they're still in their main group.

01:04:35.500 --> 01:04:40.429
I have seen Open doors to the past really damage

01:04:40.429 --> 01:04:43.889
healthy relationships, healthy friendships, healthy

01:04:43.889 --> 01:04:46.949
connections. So if the Lord is calling you today

01:04:46.949 --> 01:04:50.949
to close a door, even if he's not spelling out

01:04:50.949 --> 01:04:53.469
for you every single reason why, you need to

01:04:53.469 --> 01:04:55.809
start trusting him. When he asks you to leave

01:04:55.809 --> 01:04:58.289
something behind to close something, close that

01:04:58.289 --> 01:05:03.530
door and leave it behind. There's an old honesty.

01:05:04.860 --> 01:05:07.599
When God blesses you with your man or woman of

01:05:07.599 --> 01:05:10.099
God with your husband your wife What is that

01:05:10.099 --> 01:05:12.159
person from the past supposed to be providing

01:05:12.159 --> 01:05:14.539
for you? Anyway, why do you want to be in connection

01:05:14.539 --> 01:05:17.360
with them? Why do you want that door open with

01:05:17.360 --> 01:05:23.639
them? I Had to reflect on that one. What is the

01:05:23.639 --> 01:05:26.860
reasoning why? My am I leaving that door open

01:05:26.860 --> 01:05:29.389
because I'm a people pleaser Am I leaving that

01:05:29.389 --> 01:05:31.090
door open because I'm trying to avoid drama?

01:05:31.269 --> 01:05:33.190
I'm trying to avoid conflict when we know that

01:05:33.190 --> 01:05:35.329
as a follower of Christ, naturally, there's conflict

01:05:35.329 --> 01:05:38.210
that's gonna find us. The world hates us for

01:05:38.210 --> 01:05:40.710
a reason. Our ways are not the world's ways.

01:05:41.730 --> 01:05:43.389
When we follow Christ, when we're trying to live

01:05:43.389 --> 01:05:46.269
life Christ -like, Jesus warned us a million

01:05:46.269 --> 01:05:50.949
times over, it seems, in the Bible. Blessed are

01:05:50.949 --> 01:05:53.190
you when you're persecuted and mocked on His

01:05:53.190 --> 01:05:56.349
behalf that there is gonna be persecution, there's

01:05:56.349 --> 01:05:59.000
gonna be mockery, there's gonna be... False accusations.

01:05:59.000 --> 01:06:00.480
There's going to be all of these different things

01:06:00.480 --> 01:06:02.320
that come up when we're doing things in Jesus

01:06:02.320 --> 01:06:06.619
way Yeah, I had to be so for real with myself

01:06:06.619 --> 01:06:08.440
of like why am I leaving that door open? Is it

01:06:08.440 --> 01:06:11.480
for attention? Is it just in case this new connection

01:06:11.480 --> 01:06:14.420
doesn't work out? You can run back to the past

01:06:14.420 --> 01:06:17.380
because that's also not walking by faith Be so

01:06:17.380 --> 01:06:19.860
for real with yourself. Be so for real with yourself.

01:06:20.480 --> 01:06:22.940
I'm speaking from experience. This isn't a judgmental

01:06:22.940 --> 01:06:25.579
call Be so for real with yourself right now.

01:06:25.639 --> 01:06:27.659
Why is that door open? Why are you struggling

01:06:27.659 --> 01:06:31.300
closing that door? Are you doubting God's voice?

01:06:32.380 --> 01:06:35.820
Are you unsure if you've heard from Him? Have

01:06:35.820 --> 01:06:37.840
you prayed that prayer? God, if they're not for

01:06:37.840 --> 01:06:40.199
me, remove them. God, if they're not for me,

01:06:40.219 --> 01:06:42.340
reveal it to me. I'm telling y 'all, sometimes

01:06:42.340 --> 01:06:44.179
God's answer with the removal prayer, there have

01:06:44.179 --> 01:06:45.960
been sometimes when I pray, remove them and He

01:06:45.960 --> 01:06:47.260
removes them. And there's other times when He

01:06:47.260 --> 01:06:49.699
has revealed something to me and counted on me

01:06:49.699 --> 01:06:52.659
to un -add them. to remove them. Sometimes he

01:06:52.659 --> 01:06:56.880
won't remove them, but he'll reveal them and

01:06:56.880 --> 01:07:01.539
let you make the move. And these are just a couple

01:07:01.539 --> 01:07:04.599
things that I've picked up in my single season,

01:07:04.679 --> 01:07:07.940
glory be to God. And like I said, if I hadn't,

01:07:07.940 --> 01:07:11.179
if I had gotten handed my husband and not have

01:07:11.179 --> 01:07:13.159
learned these things yet, I would have bumbled

01:07:13.159 --> 01:07:17.570
the ball so badly. So badly and the fact that

01:07:17.570 --> 01:07:20.389
he's not here with me yet means God probably

01:07:20.389 --> 01:07:23.230
has something else that he's revealing cooking

01:07:23.230 --> 01:07:28.210
working And I want to speak that in your life

01:07:28.210 --> 01:07:34.170
today, too But God's not done with you yet Trust

01:07:34.170 --> 01:07:37.250
in what he's doing So trust in what he's doing

01:07:37.250 --> 01:07:39.329
trust that if he still has you in the season.

01:07:39.650 --> 01:07:41.929
There's something he can do with this season

01:07:41.929 --> 01:07:44.409
He's doing it for you. He's doing it for your

01:07:44.409 --> 01:07:50.940
spouse Don't get so bored and annoyed in the

01:07:50.940 --> 01:07:52.980
season and be so focused on getting out of the

01:07:52.980 --> 01:07:55.340
season that you miss out on what God is doing

01:07:55.340 --> 01:07:59.320
in this season. Sometimes we extend our seasons

01:07:59.320 --> 01:08:01.639
by being so focused on what comes after that

01:08:01.639 --> 01:08:04.699
we're not doing the work for why God has us in

01:08:04.699 --> 01:08:08.159
the season. There was one season I was stuck

01:08:08.159 --> 01:08:12.500
in for when I look back a very much longer time

01:08:12.500 --> 01:08:15.599
than needed. then I needed to be in because I

01:08:15.599 --> 01:08:17.619
was so focused on trying to find ways out of

01:08:17.619 --> 01:08:20.039
that season and Okay, what do I just have to

01:08:20.039 --> 01:08:21.619
do to get out of the season? When is the season

01:08:21.619 --> 01:08:23.460
gonna end and fantasizing about what my life

01:08:23.460 --> 01:08:25.659
will be like when I'm out of that season? And

01:08:25.659 --> 01:08:27.439
it was finally when I locked him with the Lord

01:08:27.439 --> 01:08:29.500
and he showed me I'm trying to I'm trying to

01:08:29.500 --> 01:08:31.220
show I'm trying to reveal this to you and I'm

01:08:31.220 --> 01:08:33.920
trying to get you to Adjust this habit and to

01:08:33.920 --> 01:08:35.260
close this door and to do this thing and when

01:08:35.260 --> 01:08:37.220
I finally did those things What do you know?

01:08:37.220 --> 01:08:41.199
I start walking into my next season Trust that

01:08:41.199 --> 01:08:45.239
God has you here for a reason and there's something

01:08:45.239 --> 01:08:46.899
that can be done. There's something that you

01:08:46.899 --> 01:08:52.899
can see Okay, don't be angry Because if you were

01:08:52.899 --> 01:08:56.359
supposed to be married right now, you would be

01:08:56.359 --> 01:09:02.020
married right now If God if it was like in his

01:09:02.020 --> 01:09:05.779
if it was his plan for you have to be in this

01:09:05.779 --> 01:09:09.460
position right now There would be some more coaxing

01:09:09.529 --> 01:09:12.590
going on. You can trust that if God needed you

01:09:12.590 --> 01:09:15.789
there, you would be there. So the fact that He

01:09:15.789 --> 01:09:19.689
is allowing you to be here, there's something

01:09:19.689 --> 01:09:22.149
to be grown. There's something to be shifted.

01:09:22.350 --> 01:09:25.750
There's something to be revealed. And I pray

01:09:25.750 --> 01:09:30.590
that this episode has helped you. Like I said,

01:09:30.710 --> 01:09:33.409
I wasn't expecting on talking about single season

01:09:33.409 --> 01:09:36.470
until I was out of a single season. I'm actually

01:09:36.470 --> 01:09:38.569
very thoughtful y 'all. I don't talk a lot about

01:09:38.569 --> 01:09:41.710
relationships on social media. I don't talk a

01:09:41.710 --> 01:09:44.369
lot about relationships on the podcast. Honestly,

01:09:44.369 --> 01:09:46.229
I didn't feel like I was the most qualified person

01:09:46.229 --> 01:09:49.149
to talk about it because I'm not married. I'm

01:09:49.149 --> 01:09:51.970
not out of the single season. There's some wonderful

01:09:51.970 --> 01:09:54.390
podcasters I love to watch that I've heard them

01:09:54.390 --> 01:09:55.989
say that they don't take relationship advice

01:09:55.989 --> 01:09:59.109
from someone who's not married. I totally get

01:09:59.109 --> 01:10:00.930
that I totally get that because of when I look

01:10:00.930 --> 01:10:02.869
for relationship advice I look for people who

01:10:02.869 --> 01:10:05.850
are married to that where it's tried and true

01:10:05.850 --> 01:10:08.310
obviously work that relationship advice I will

01:10:08.310 --> 01:10:11.069
say that I have let that discourage me a little

01:10:11.069 --> 01:10:13.770
bit of like Yep, this isn't a space I'm supposed

01:10:13.770 --> 01:10:15.590
to be speaking on or speaking from I'll speak

01:10:15.590 --> 01:10:17.970
on it when I'm out of the season And I really

01:10:17.970 --> 01:10:19.489
believe that God has been showing me that like

01:10:19.489 --> 01:10:21.789
he's calling me to speak on it while I am still

01:10:21.789 --> 01:10:24.470
in the season Because my perspective right now

01:10:24.470 --> 01:10:28.329
is gonna be I'm sure different than the perspective

01:10:28.329 --> 01:10:32.010
one day when I'm married. And again, this is

01:10:32.010 --> 01:10:34.489
not advice today, y 'all, of how to get married,

01:10:34.949 --> 01:10:37.770
of how to be in a relationship, of how to get

01:10:37.770 --> 01:10:40.649
out of your single season. That is not what this

01:10:40.649 --> 01:10:44.729
is centered on. This is about what I have personally

01:10:44.729 --> 01:10:49.130
learned in the single season in hopes that maybe

01:10:49.130 --> 01:10:51.289
if you're caught in a rut right now and you're

01:10:51.289 --> 01:10:53.449
trying to figure out what is God trying to show

01:10:53.449 --> 01:10:55.939
me. How was single season supposed to be helping

01:10:55.939 --> 01:10:58.100
me? Like, what can I get out of this single season?

01:10:58.420 --> 01:11:01.220
I hope that you hearing my testimony today is

01:11:01.220 --> 01:11:02.880
helping you. So again, this isn't about getting

01:11:02.880 --> 01:11:06.100
out of the single season. This isn't about, like,

01:11:06.279 --> 01:11:08.140
getting into a marriage or relationship advice.

01:11:08.600 --> 01:11:10.600
This is really about reflecting on the season

01:11:10.600 --> 01:11:13.180
that you're in, the season of singleness. And

01:11:13.180 --> 01:11:15.260
I do feel that's more where I have been being

01:11:15.260 --> 01:11:20.189
led to speak on today. And I really hope that

01:11:20.189 --> 01:11:23.550
this episode has helped you and has just really

01:11:23.550 --> 01:11:25.970
opened your mind and maybe shifted your perspective

01:11:25.970 --> 01:11:29.090
a bit and maybe it's helped you connect a couple

01:11:29.090 --> 01:11:31.869
thoughts that God has been trying to reveal to

01:11:31.869 --> 01:11:34.689
you. I pray that he has spoken through me to

01:11:34.689 --> 01:11:38.350
you today. Now I do ask y 'all hit subscribe.

01:11:38.770 --> 01:11:40.810
Subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening

01:11:40.810 --> 01:11:44.329
to it whether it be Spotify, Apple, iHeartRadio,

01:11:44.590 --> 01:11:48.069
YouTube, and I do ask that y 'all share this

01:11:48.069 --> 01:11:50.939
podcast. text it to somebody, send it to someone,

01:11:51.100 --> 01:11:53.739
upload it on Facebook, reshare it on TikTok,

01:11:54.159 --> 01:11:57.579
like wherever you can, but that is how this podcast

01:11:57.579 --> 01:11:59.779
is reaching people. I'm not doing a lot of advertising

01:11:59.779 --> 01:12:05.380
right now, okay? So you sharing this is genuinely

01:12:05.380 --> 01:12:09.600
helpful. Now, I do hope that you tune in for

01:12:09.600 --> 01:12:12.520
the next episode. Who knows what it's gonna be

01:12:12.520 --> 01:12:15.579
about? Only God knows, but I'm sure it'll be

01:12:15.579 --> 01:12:18.270
a good one. Thank you so much for listening.

01:12:18.409 --> 01:12:21.329
This was Salt Knot Sweetener. I'm your host Danielle

01:12:21.329 --> 01:12:23.550
Townsend. Have a blessed day.