Hey guys, and welcome back to the Salt Not Sweetener
podcast. I'm your host Danielle Townsend and
this is episode 20. And y 'all, today we're gonna
get real. I mean, I think we try to always be
real here, but this is a topic that might be
a little touchy for some people. that, you know,
they're under a couple people's skin. I know
that someone is needing to hear this today, and
I know that this is a word that I needed to hear,
and I probably still need to hear every once
in a while. I think all of us as Christians on
our walk with Christ can honestly hear this.
Now, what we're going to focus on today is when
God answers your prayers. But there's even gonna
be a little bit more of a focus on this and it's
about when God is answering our prayers But we're
choosing not to listen, but we're choosing not
to hear him when we're choosing to look in the
other direction When we're choosing to reject
it because we don't like the vessel or maybe
because it's not the way that we were expecting
Or maybe it offends our flesh We're gonna talk
about that today and y 'all I was Started thinking
about that when I was reading. There's this book.
I've picked up recently at the thrift store.
That's called Becoming a woman who listens to
God by Sharon James, but this is not just for
women. I want to make that very clear what this
Story that I'm about to share and this topic
we have today is for everybody because everybody
Has witnessed this has experienced this okay?
No, she shared this book she shared the story
that always resonated with her about a man who
Climbed to the it was during a hurricane season
this man climbed to his roof the roof of his
house to escape the flood waters and while he
was on his roof he was praying to the Lord saying
Lord, please save me and There is a man on a
boat that came by to offer take and I put you
on my boat and take you to safety And let me
and said no, I'm waiting on God. I'm praying
to him and sent the man away and then he continued
to pray and the helicopter flew overhead and
offered to throw down a rope and lift him to
safety and he said no I don't want your help
I'm waiting on God and sent the man away and
then he continued to pray and a family on a raft
came by and they said we have one spot left and
we can put you on our raft we can paddle to you
do you want us to like help you? And the man
said, no, I'm waiting on God. I'm waiting on
God's hand. I'm waiting on God's help. I'm praying
to God. And sent them away. And after he sent
people away these three different times that,
you know, when we look at it, those look like
miraculous answered prayers from outside perspective.
When I was reading that, I immediately saw that
God is answering his prayer. God is sending him
people offering to bring him the safety that
is God moving through people that is God moving
through his children that is God answering but
see in the story the man didn't see it that way
in the story the floodwaters began to rise and
as the man was starting to be overcome by these
floodwaters he started crying out to the Lord
saying like Lord why why didn't you answer my
prayer why didn't you save me And the Lord responded
to him. I tried But you're not listening to my
answers And man that that had me really thinking
reflecting how many times are we praying to the
Lord saying Lord Show me show me the truth Lord
give me clarity Lord strengthen my discernment
Lord get Show me what to do Lord. Give me an
answer. Give me a way out. Give me and when God
delivers that answered prayer. When God answers
that prayer, how many times will we say, that's
not from God? Or we say, I'm waiting on something
else. I'm waiting on something better. How many
times we find a way to reject? How many times
we choose not to listen to what God is saying?
You know, I was, the more I was thinking about
that story, I was like, what did this man expect?
He was praying on God to save him. God sent three
different people coming and offering him right
there, ways out of his problems, ways out of
what he's going through. Was he expecting Jesus
to descend from heaven and to come through the
clouds at that very moment and pluck him up himself?
I mean, I'm a firm believer, obviously, that
Jesus will be descending one day again, you know.
I'm a firm believer that Jesus Christ was making
a return but you know I was reading this thinking
is he expecting Jesus to return right now and
with his own hand lift him up? Was he expecting
God to give him wings and he flies away? Was
he expecting all the sudden all the flood waters
to just go all the way down and he's downstairs
sitting on his couch eating potato chips in 10
minutes? He was praying for salvation. He was
praying to be saved in the situation. And God
sent him a boat, a raft, and a helicopter, and
people offering help. But he rejected it and
said, no, I'm waiting on God. And that's, you
know, again, I was picking apart, like, what
was he expecting? I saw that clearly as this
is an answered prayer. Was he expecting something
that looked even more miraculous? Something that
looked even more... unbelievable I would always
say those are some miraculous offers people coming
by because in times of stress a lot of people
tend to focus on themselves so the fact that
you know in the story there are three different
people who while trying to save themselves they
took time out to try to help him that's already
miraculous enough and y 'all I'm speaking from
experience because I know that especially like
When I gave my fully surrendered my life to Christ
I Say that as a monumental moment because that
was the moment where I finally recognized that
was like my ways You know, I prayed to the Lord
when I gave my life to Christ saying like at
the at that time was freshly 25 and I had said
Lord for 25 years. I have tried it my way I have
found reasons to hold on to my sins. I have found
reasons to keep these doors open. I have tried
to control situations. I've tried to make things
work my way. I have tried to speed things up.
I've tried to slow things down. I have put my
hand in every step of the way. I've leaned on
my own understanding and my own ways. And my,
the reason why when I say like my surrendering
moment was because that was the moment where
I said, and none of it has worked because here
I still am. and I know that Lord what you are
calling me to do might not be the easiest way
but I am understanding that you are trying to
build a firm foundation and what is from you
will not be shaken what is from you will last
and what is from you is good and what is of my
own creation is not and my own ways have not
worked to this point my own ways have gotten
me knee -deep in my own crap I'm gonna fully
submit and try your way And that was my way of
saying so Lord you want me to at that point I'd
already quit being a tarot card reader because
I had already felt the conviction But at that
point I threw out the cards where I was like
if your hand causes you to send cut it off I'm
gonna throw out the possibility of me ever being
able to go back to that I Had submitted in that
moment like Lord if you want me to be single
my entire life will be single my entire life
Lord if you want me to 100 % be off social media
Because I used it to lead people straight at
one point in my life. I will never get on again
Like I was ready to submit all of my desires
to the Lord in that moment and that's when I
called out my surrendering my life to Christ
is when it was my true like all of my desires
and all of my thoughts and my wants and my needs
have gotten me to this point. I'm giving them
to you and I want you to guide my life. I want
you Lord to pick my partner. I want you Lord
to lead me to the right job. I want you, Lord,
to pick my friends. I want you, Lord, to pick
my environment. I want you, Lord, to show me
the way. I don't want my own way. So when I tell
y 'all my surrender in my life to Christ moment
was because that was a moment that was so pivotal
for me. You know, growing up in the church, I
never submitted or surrendered in that way. And
that's why it was so impactful for me. But in
the years leading up to that time, I got into
New Age spirituality where I was listening to
a lot of voices that weren't from the Lord. A
lot of the voices I was listening to were validating
my sin, and were validating me having open doors,
and were actually feeding into a lot of my open
doors I've shared in the last podcast were unforgiveness,
mistrust, resentment. You know, not truly loving
people unconditionally, not having the love of
Christ, a lack of identity in Christ. I had a
real desire to be impervious, but I was trying
to figure it out my own way. And I'm telling
y 'all, a lot of the life decisions I made and
a lot of the problems I had in my life stemmed
from unforgiveness because my unforgiveness led
me to a lot of trauma responses. and led me to
a lot of decisions and a lot of reactions and
a lot of ways of thinking and ways of operating
that were not Christ -like. If I held up like
90 % of what I was doing or what was going on
in my mind, no matter my intention, because I
thought what mattered was as long as I have good
intent, God knows my heart. No, like that's not
all that matters. That was how I was really defending
things at the time. If I would have held up...
my thoughts and what I was doing and what I was
defending and open doors, I would have seen that
a lot of them did not align with scripture. They
aligned with fleshly desires and worldly desires.
They aligned with lies of the enemy, lies of
the devil, but they didn't align with the Lord
of the Lord. But I was listening to so many voices
especially online like I would go online I would
scroll on the algorithms and I would be hearing
constantly from terror readers and Oracle readers
and psychic mediums and people that were passing
off prophetic words but if you held them up to
the Bible and you prayed to the Lord I would
see that those were not words from the Lord.
I wasn't testing them like I should. A lot of
things I was receiving I wasn't testing them
like I should have been. And it would have been
very clear that they were from the enemy, but
I wasn't testing them because it was telling
me what I wanted to hear and it was feeding further
into my delusions. It was feeding further, and
what I mean by delusions is me believing that
my sin was justified, and me believing that my
disobedience to the Lord was justified, me believing,
you know, once you have those roots, you're willing
to accept what a lot of voices are saying. And
we know that the devil, the enemy, is the father
of lies. And when I talk about deception, deception
isn't just lies, because it's a lot easier to
believe lies when there's truth sprinkled in.
Deception is truth with lies sprinkled in, or
lies with some truth sprinkled in. The devil
masquerades as an angel of light, and it's a
lot easier for him to get you to believe lies
and deception if there's some truth that you
can like, okay, yeah, this aligns, or okay, yeah,
like, I can prove this. He's able to... add on
a lot of other things. I can't tell y 'all how
many times that like I would be scrolling in
the past when I was a new age and I would hear,
you know, a reading or hear a message from a
medium and like they would say a couple things
where I'd be like, oh my gosh, that resonates
so heavily that then they would start saying
some like really kind of crazy stuff. Some really
kind of like out -of -pocket out there stuff
that I immediately was like, okay Yeah, I'll
100 % even though I don't have any like actual
evidence to back that up or to align with that
or to believe that I'm just gonna buy into it
100 % Because of these other things that they
said they're seemingly truths like that is That's
deception at its finest And yeah, so I I was
led astray for a long time. I continued in my
sin, and I continued doing the things I was doing,
keeping open doors, because I had voices that
validated me doing that. And there were many
times I looked back and see that the Lord sent
voices trying to path correct me, especially
in regards to forgiveness. There were a lot of
people coming at me and telling me I need to
work on my forgiveness, and I need to let people
go, and I need to turn people over to the Lord,
and things like that, and I in one ear and out
the other. I rejected these people very quickly.
And my reaction to a lot of these people was
kind of like, how dare you point out the splinter
I have when you have a log in your own eye? Like
I would look at a lot of these people and be
like, well, I believe you're sitting in this
area, or I believe you're doing this. How dare
you point this out at me? And I would immediately
say, I'm not listening to them. I'll listen to
Jesus. I won't listen to them. I'll listen to
God, but I won't listen to them, but I wasn't
listening to the messengers that God was sending.
It's funny how I was saying, well, I'll listen
to God, and when he spoke, I didn't listen to
him because I didn't like the vessel. And that's
kind of the root, I think, of what we're getting
at today is, are you rejecting God's word because
you don't like the vessel? Are you rejecting
God's answered prayer because you don't like
Who he's speaking through I'm gonna be so real
with y 'all that is a pride that's an ego thing
and that's something that you're gonna need a
dose of humility from the Lord and speaking from
experience Because who are you to think you're
better than the person that the Lord chose as
a vessel in that moment? You know that that's
a pride that's an ego thing Not saying that the
Lord picked these people because they're better
than you or because they're perfect or anything
like that But the Lord chose them as a vessel,
point blank, period. And when you start saying,
I'm not going to listen to the Lord, and I'm
not going to accept the way that He chose to
answer my prayer, simply because I think I'm
better than them, or because, you know, I think
that they have no right to speak to me or talk
to me. Why though? What prideful space, what
ego space are you coming from in that moment
to reject what God is doing? I'm speaking from
experience y 'all there is a couple of those
vessels I Even if you would have said that to
me at the time I would have found reasons There's
one person who you know I want to be I'm always
trying to be very careful not to disclose identities
or say things that like You know, it's so obvious
that's the person There is a person years ago
when I was in new age way before I gave my life
to Christ He was trying to talk to me about forgiveness
and I didn't want to hear them say diddly squat
because just 20 minutes ago they were gossiping
and talking bad about another person. to me they
were dealing really badly with the sum of gossip.
they were dealing really badly with competitiveness
and like envy and jealousy. so i was like who
are you to tell me about forgiveness when you're
dealing with these other things? so i immediately
wrote them off. are you ignoring god's answer
because you don't like the vessel? And I'm telling
y 'all that like that wasn't the only person
that God tried to speak to me through and God
tried to speak to me for years That's funny when
I look back every vessel he said I found a reason
to like say well, no, I shouldn't listen tonight
There were there were two vessels And I believe
them to be like kind of like the final people
who were trying to speak life into me before
the Lord allowed me to really be turned over
and just like Broken down to where I would turn
to him And they were showing fruits in a lot
of areas of their life love Self -control patience
peace these people were very giving and very
loving and very caring and they had some wonderful
advice But when they started speaking to me about
forgiving, it was funny, it was that same person
that they were trying to speak to me forgiveness
about that this other person was trying to tell
me about years ago. I started closing up and
walling off. And I started finding things about
them. I start picking out of like, well, this
isn't Christ -like, and this isn't good, and
this isn't, and this isn't. So I was kind of
like, why would I listen to them? They're not
perfect. God never said he would pick perfect
vessels. There's so many times over when God
said to people that they were not perfect. So
many times I think back to Paul. Paul was God's
chosen vessel to go through and clock a lot of
things. You see a lot of the letters he was writing
to people were correcting and redirecting and
clarifying. He was a mouthpiece for the Holy
Spirit. He was a mouthpiece for God. But that
wasn't always his past. We see that he actually
had a pretty crazy conversion. This man was blind.
He was blinded after having a really rough history
of doing some really messy things. I wonder how
many people heard about the letters he wrote
or reading the letters he wrote. They're like,
who's he? Talk, wasn't he the one that once persecuted
Christians? I think about that sometimes with
like how many people read from Paul and were
like, who's Paul to say anything else? Wasn't
he once Saul? Yes, he was and God still used
him. Yes, he was and God still chose to use him
as a vessel. I've seen both sides of it, y 'all,
because there have been some times where I know
that the Lord has called me to plant seeds and
speak things to people and I've been rejected.
And there are sometimes when I really felt the
Lord called me to do it in that verse, I've said,
no Lord, they're going to... I already have a
feeling of how this is going to go. I don't want
to do it. And he's given me supernatural strength
and boldness to do it. Because we actually see
with Saul, right? When Saul is about to be cured
of his blindness, he's praying to the Lord. You
know, there's an angel that comes and speaks
to, and I don't remember the name, it's been
a while since I read the story, but he speaks
to another, angel comes and speaks to another
man that says, hey, I need you to go and lay
hands on Saul. Like, I need you to go pray for
Saul. And he's gonna be healed of the blindness,
and he already knows you're coming. But that
man at first is like, you mean like Saul, like,
that persecutes people, Saul? He was scared,
he was fearful. He seemed like at first he wanted
to be like, nah, I'm good. Like, pick someone
else. What if I walk in there and he kills me?
It's probably the energy that guy had. When I
think about it, like, he's used to seeing Saul
as the man who persecutes the people who believe
in Jesus. You know? Anything you'd want to run
away, you wouldn't want to walk into that. But
he received the boldness and the wisdom and the
anointing to go into that situation and was an
answer to Saul's prayer. Do not reject what the
Lord is doing in your life simply because you
don't like the vessel or simply because you're
offended by the vessel. Y 'all there have been
some times when like honestly I really broke
down kind of crying to the Lord where it's like
Lord why do you keep sending me into places where
they don't want to hear what I have to say because
I found that a lot of the people that the Lord
called me to plant seeds for or speak life into
are people who knew my past. or my history. So
they were more people that I had past experiences
with. Or they knew that I wasn't a perfect person
in the past. I'm obviously not a perfect person
now either. But they knew I had a sinful life
in the past. And I remember a couple times breaking
down to Lord where it's like, why are you sending
me knowing that they're gonna reject me? And
the Lord had shown me that that was a lesson
for me in itself. There were a lot of things
for me to take out in that. And if you need some
biblical background that this is the thing that
happens, look in the book of Jeremiah. Jeremiah
the prophet was sent by God to God's people to
warn them and he warned them time and time again.
It's like the first 30 chapters in the book of
Jeremiah are just warnings of like if you don't
turn from idolatry, if you don't turn from the
sin, if you don't close these open doors to the
devil that you have open. if you don't stop doing
this lukewarm back and forth behavior because
there were a lot of people who had lukewarm behavior
of like they would do a lot of things that they
knew were displeasing to the Lord fleshly things
sinful things and then every once in a while
ask the Lord for forgiveness and you know once
they feel like they're in a good space they would
go back and do it again they didn't have true
repentance they didn't have a true fear of the
Lord because if they truly feared the Lord they
wouldn't go back freely to that thing you know
and god had sent not only jeremiah he had sent
many other people many other prophets from the
lord to speak to them and to say turn from what
you're doing if you don't there's destruction
ahead and prophesying that they would be overtaken
by their enemy that they would be made to serve
their enemy that they would have scattered land
they'd be scattered you know that the temples
would be torn down like God sent warning and
warning and warning and redirection through all
these different people, but the people in the
book of Jeremiah did not want to hear it. They
turned away God's prophets, killed God's prophets,
silenced his prophets, and they listened. Their
itchy ears listened to the voices that affirmed
their sin and affirmed what they were doing and
comforted them. They turned to the false prophets.
They listened to the people that said, No, the
temples won't fall down. No, God will deliver
you. He'll deliver you out of this situation.
He's pleased with you. Totally fine with what
you're doing. They listened to those voices that
affirmed what they were doing and made them feel
comfortable continuing what they were doing and
they tuned out and shut down the voices that
told them that they needed correction. The voices
that made them uncomfortable. The voices that
were convicting. And how many times do we see
that happening? Nowadays. You know, this is actually
something that's been following me. It feels
like when I look on social media or when I have
conversations with people or when I'm watching
TV or even just having private, like, reflection
time, this is something that has been coming
back to me a lot recently. That a lot of people
that... You know, do wicked things, defend these
sins, defend these open doors to the devil that
are continuing to do it. Oftentimes, it's they
have affirming voices. They have other people
around them that do the same thing, so they affirm
each other. Other people around them that don't
feel convicted. So since they don't feel that
conviction, they don't convict them. People feel
comfortable to do it when they have another voice
telling them it's okay to continue. Oh, it's
okay since you reacted that way. You have a trigger.
You have a this. That feed into the delusions.
That feed into the deception. And they have voices
that feed into anger, feed into animosity, feed
into whatever it is. The voices are telling them...
it's understandable why you're doing what you're
doing continue doing what you're doing are the
reason why they still are one of the big reasons
why they still feel comfortable doing what they're
doing and i'm speaking from personal experience
y 'all when i When the Lord was trying to send
people to me to talk to me, and I chose not to
listen to them, I was listening to the false
voices. At that time in my life, anytime I opened
up social media, I would hear tarot card readings,
I would hear mediums, I would hear all these
other people that would be saying things that
affirm my sin, that would be saying things that
made me feel comfortable being a victim, that
made me feel comfortable reacting the way I was
reacting, thinking the way I was thinking, doing
what I was doing. And I was so listening into
those voices that were affirming it that anytime
Because those voices were more frequent than
the voices that were coming and telling me to
turn away from what I was doing And once those
voices would start coming in I would immediately
shut those down and tune those out the voices
from the Lord I Would say oh, no, these are the
deception. These are the lies. These are the
things that are trying to push me off Like if
that was true, I would be hearing a lot more,
you know, but in my head I was saying well that
was really true That was what I would be hearing
a lot of and not the other way around which wasn't
true. That's not true Because I surround it it
really is what you welcome in and what you surround
yourself with If you are making it a point to
surround yourself with people who fear the Lord
And to put yourself in environments that welcome
other people that fear the Lord. You put yourself
in God -fearing environments with God -fearing
people. If you are listening to scripture, if
you are listening to all these other things,
that is more the voices you hear. But if you
are purposely putting yourself in situations
where every day you are hearing and you are surrounded
with things that are un -Christ -like and voices
that are un -Christ -like, that is what you're
going to hear more of. At that time in my life,
like everything I was looking up, My algorithm
was built on New Age spirituality, so everything
I was hearing was horoscopes and reiki healers
and things that feed in delusions about spiritual
warfare. I understand spiritual warfare now as
a Christian, but when I didn't understand it
from a Christian standpoint, when I was in New
Age spirituality, the devil really manipulated
my mind on a lot of things and got me to believe
a lot of things that weren't true, in all honesty.
But at that time in my life, those were all the
voices I was listening to. Every time I turned,
I was hearing voices of people who were defending
new age, who were defending horoscopes, defending
all these things. Defending hatred and animosity
and anger and frustration and, you know, the
root of new age and especially witchcraft and
everything that stems out of that is wanting
to be in control. and wanting to be the center
of everything. And the Lord was really calling
me to release control, but every voice I was
listening to was telling me different ways to
take control and how I should continue taking
control. So of course, if that is all I'm looking
up, if that is all I'm focused on, if that is
what I have already decided is correct and that's
all I'm choosing to surround myself with, of
course it's going to be the majority of the voices
I hear. And glory be to God. I would say especially
like six months leading up to Six months to a
year leading up to when I gave my life to Christ.
He started stripping out every voice out of my
life That was not from him like every person
place thing. I Didn't have the ability to school
on my social media as much glory be to God He
took out my ability to listen to the false voices
He he pulled away every voice to where I could
hear him loud and clear when he was speaking.
And that was my Book of Jeremiah moment. You
know, the Lord stripped me to a point where I
had nothing else to rely on except for him. I
had no voices to listen to except for him. And
then he built me from the ground up because I
didn't listen to him. That was, you know, kind
of destruction I fell into was losing everything.
But it was the biggest blessing in a way because
it gave me the opportunity to lean into him and
lean on him instead of myself. and I got to see
how great God is and what he can do. And there
was a gratitude and appreciation and a purpose
I've never felt in my life. God will use anything
for your good and although I see like that New
Age time and all that as the biggest like disobedience
kind of moment in my life and like the drifting
so far away and where I actually was like the
lowest. in worldly things and finances and social
I have no friends as I have no anything like
the Lord due to my disobedience strict all of
those things out and you know some people would
see that as a curse or as like the biggest mistake
but I actually see that as kind of the biggest
blessing from the Lord at the same time because
he used that to finally get me to focus on him
But I also had to make the active choice to surrender
and focus on him I could have leaned into my
flesh and gone the other way And stayed hard
-headed but glory be to God my heart was softened
And there are some people there are some people
many people Who that is their story and that
is going to be their story and if you or the
friend, family member, loved one, or a spectator,
someone that you believe is going through something
like that, where they're being stripped down,
because that's the only way the Lord is going
to be able to get through to them, pray for them,
and pray for the softening of their heart, and
pray that they have eyes to see and ears to hear
what God is doing, and pray that they lean on
the Lord, and that they finally lean into Him.
And someone needs to hear today pray to God for
guidance on what to do and how to handle it Because
there's sometimes that we so heavily want to
and reject and come in and save the day and try
to be the helper when God is calling us not to
and That is a hard pill to swallow Yeah, because
when I was going through what I was going through
I was so angry and upset that there weren't other
people that didn't offer me more help and then
try to do extra things and try to say extra things
and do all these extra things then I also recognize
if they would have it would have prolonged my
leaning on the Lord because I would have just
started leaning on them and leaning into them
I saw it actually in the past when I was going
through things the people who would offer me
help I would start leaning on them I was not
leaning towards the Lord so honestly As much
as I would I would love to say sometimes like
oh I wish I would have gotten more help and more
comfort and more if I would have it would have
prolonged my surrender into the Lord Because
that would have just been another thing for me
to put above him another thing will lean on instead
of him So someone needs to hear today to pray
to the Lord. Are you even supposed to be intervening?
Pray for them pray for them every day pray for
them to the Lord but ask the Lord if this is
your thing to get involved in Is this your thing
to put your hand in or are you stopping or delaying?
God's lesson then turning to the Lord and it's
really hard Because we like to say that like,
you know, well love is self -sacrifice and love
is you know, taking care of them even when they're
down at their lowest and everything like that.
But the Lord has really shown me, and I used
to say that too, but the Lord has really shown
me the past couple years that love, the biggest
act of love you can do, is releasing your control
and giving them to the Lord. And that's also
a big act of faith, is entrusting them to the
Lord. Remember that just as much as God is your
Heavenly Father and He loves you, He loves them
just as much I Think sometimes we forget about
that You know cuz we're like no, I don't I don't
want to allow this person to suffer I don't allow
them to go through what they're going through.
I love them. It's like but God loves them, too
Just as much as God loves you God loves them
not much He doesn't love someone more than the
other it's heartbreaking every time someone dies
and They go to separation instead of heaven cut
once all of us with Him. And I know it's the
reality and it's been spoken of that not everybody
is going to go with the Heavenly Father. Just
as Jesus Christ spilt His blood on the cross
for you, He did it for them too. Just as much
as Jesus Christ loved you before you were even
born, He loves them. So when you are giving this
person over to God, it's not that you're just
giving them to your Heavenly Father, you're giving
them to their Heavenly Father. Trust that He
is going to take care of them just as He took
care of you. I'll be honest too that I had a
lot of animosity and anger for a while at people
who kicked me when I was down. Because also when
I was at that point in my life, there were some
people who were rejoicing that I was lacking.
There were people who were trying to contribute
to that suffering, who were actually trying to
make it worse. You know, the knife was already
in me and they were trying to twist it and make
it even harsher. make the hurt even worse, make
the recovery time even longer, there were some
people who were taking serious advantage of me
being at that low point in my life. And that
was an unforgiveness that the Lord had to work
on me in. I didn't think we were being led into
this topic, but I guess recovering this in the
podcast did too. when we talk a little bit more
about forgiveness because I had to forgive people
that didn't help me out of a loving place and
out of a place of self -conservation for them
and them understanding that helping me would
have just dropped them down and I pray for those
people that they you know that God really moves
in their lives and touches their lives and I
wholeheartedly now like understand why they didn't
get me out um but there were those people that
tried to make it worse than what it was already.
I don't know how to explain it other than kicking
me when I'm already down and that was actually
God. God taught me so much in that time and honestly
I think one of the biggest things God taught
me in that time was empathy because for a long
time in my life I had like detached emotionally.
It was a coping mechanism like I had throughout
my life had so many relationships with people
where I would just get so hurt and like Really
backstabbed, you know, I had a cycle of there
were a lot of people in my life that have addictions
Or had really unhealthy coping mechanisms and
they didn't know how to love people correctly
and I would get hurt a lot I had a thing of like
actually over giving myself to people Loved ones
romantic partners friends and when I would get
hurt and I would have to detach from these people
like I would realize okay if I keep letting them
in they're gonna keep hurting I and I remember
the first time talking about when I was like
14 years old to like a trusted adult saying that
I could turn my emotions off and explaining that
was like I When I was younger like that I wouldn't
call exactly turn my emotions off because I would
think I could But there would always end up being
some kind of later on like emotional implosion
from not dealing with my emotions So it was more
like I was able to compartmentalize really well
was how a therapist explained it to me later
on I realized someone was really hurtful for
me. I'd go into like a survival mode where I'd
able to say, okay, my need to get away from them
and survive is stronger than my love or my compassion
for them. So I'm going to move them out of the
love and compassion box and move them into it.
They're a danger for me emotionally, mentally,
whatever. And I would be able to like just block
them and never speak to them again. and like
if anyone brought them up or anything like I
don't know how to explain it but it was like
something like they they were like removed from
a space in my heart where like I I would forget
that they exist and that was a dissociation and
I used to call that turning my emotions off when
I was younger and I'd realize that I couldn't
actually do that because I was still feeling
everything and I would still have nights where
I would just cry for hours and it would just
be from that space of like missing these people
but also feeling hurt by these people and so
much but like it was a survival tactic and a
survival mode that in the moment and for a time
I could split them into different compartments
and if I split them up for long enough just not
having them in my life not thinking about them
I could kind of move on in a survival way. And
along the lines, doing that, I really kind of
detached with empathy, where I stopped empathizing
for people as much, and I wasn't really able
to put myself in other people's shoes. And the
Lord took me through a time period where it was
like, when people were kicking me while I was
down, and when people were hurting me like that,
and I was crying out to the Lord, where I was
like, Lord, don't these people feel guilty? I
never did anything to them. Some of these were
people that I... I couldn't understand why why
they were participating in it when I was like
I don't know these people in real life like these
people know me from online I haven't done these
things these people are believing lies these
people like why who could bring themselves to
do that because even when I was detached I couldn't
find myself to go out of my way to like Especially
when I got into my adult years, there was what
I didn't realize as an empathy that was starting
to be developed again. You know, once I was an
adult living my own life and developing kind
of new connections and stuff, some of those survival
tactics slowly started melting off. And I remember
praying to Lord, it was like, Lord, like I've
done some really wicked things and I've been
a really wicked person, but like... I wouldn't
have ever even done this like any time I did
something to someone I at least really felt like
I could justify it and I just couldn't understand
the like kicking someone when they were down
and the Lord used this as an opportunity to really
instill an empathy in me where I was able to
put myself in other people's shoes and the people
who were kicking me while I was down I started
putting myself in their shoes and thinking, okay,
well, these people are believing these certain
things. Some of these people need money, which
is why they're doing it. Some of these people
believe that they've sold their soul to the devil
and that there is no way out with Jesus. Like,
I've really started empathizing with a lot of
these people. But I've also placed an empathy
in me when, like, when I see other people going
through, getting kicked while they're down or
being falsely accused or things like that. There's
a new level of empathy I can feel for them because
I've been in that position. and I have to forgive
those people just as much as I forgave the other
people I found myself especially the first couple
months after I gave my life for Christ constantly
praying for those people and praying that they
turn to the Lord and pray that they get their
lives to Christ and pray that they feel conviction
and pray that they see that Jesus Christ is the
way, the truth, the life so I'm telling you all
that like any attack that the enemy means to
harm me I believe this is the direction we're
going in God will use it for your good even if
they're laughing and mocking in that time because
some of these people still laugh and mock me
to this day, you know, like still make fun of
Jesus and make fun of Christians and I believe
that God is working in their hearts and working
in their lives anyway. I'm gonna continue to
pray for them and that was the thing that the
Lord taught me is like Forgiveness isn't dependent
on whether or not people shift or change, because
I was required to forgive these people even though
they didn't stop doing what they're doing. They
didn't stop mocking, they didn't stop laughing,
they didn't stop lying, they didn't stop participating
in things they were participating in, but I was
called to forgive them anyway, and turn them
over to the Lord anyway. Not my own will, not
my own desires, not my own intent, but turn them
over to the Lord. and trust that he can reveal
a lot more and do a lot more than I ever could
and that it will work out for all of our goods.
So someone needs to hear this today that any
attack of the enemy, anything God can use for
your good when you humble yourself and you release
off in your heart. Because God wouldn't have
been able to develop empathy in me and understanding
and patience and long suffering. God used the
attacks of these people. To produce fruits of
the spirit and although they were meant to destroy
me. God used them to bring me closer to him So
someone needs to hear that today to like understand
that God allows all of these Attacks of the enemy
we see that in the book of Job, and I want to
be thoughtful with the way I worth us When I
mentioned us in the last podcast When the devil
wanted to attack Job in the ways that he did.
He had to get clearance from God, meaning God
had a plan for it all along. And someone needs
to hear today that God has a plan for your life
and God can use all of these things that have
been meant to harm you and use them for your
good and put your faith in that. And if you believe
that God can turn any of these things around,
submit to him. because that's the thing is like
yes god can do all these things but if you're
not submitting to his ways if you're executing
your will and your understanding and your flesh
above him you're not going to see these promises
come to their full fruition you're waiting on
god this is just an example that someone needs
to hear today you've been waiting on god to deliver
justice and you feel like he's not delivering
justice but what areas in your life right now
have you been trying to secure justice for yourself
I know back when I was in new age there was a
couple things that I felt were going on that
I really wanted justice in and I wanted the truth
to be revealed and I really just wanted things
to be exposed and it to be shown that like I
truly felt like I was being attacked and that
I hadn't done anything number one deserving of
the attack ball so I wasn't doing anything retaliatory
Like, meaning I wasn't trying to get them back
harmfully or executing my own, like, I wasn't
trying to play tit for tat with them. And I was
getting really impatient of, like, why isn't
justice being delivered? Because when you're
in New Age patriarchy, you're relying on relative
truths, not full truths. And so, you know, I
wasn't, I just believed, okay, justice would
be served point blank, period. What goes around
comes around. I left out the part of submit your
will to the Lord, the Lord's will over yours.
It's a thing of I was buying into the half seas.
You know, you can't have the full promise with
only believing half of the word of the Lord.
And it was much later on that the Lord told me
that justice is the Lord's. And he revealed me
that, you know, turning people over to him, vengeance
is the Lord's. He will deliver it. But that's
also can I have to submit my will to him. And
I realized that I had been waiting on justice
in the past, but every step of the way, I had
been going out of my way on social media trying
to expose, trying to say, hey, just, you know,
there were different ways where I was trying
to show my innocence and trying to reveal other
people's guilt, which was me taking vengeance
and justice into my own hands. And the Lord had
heavily convicted me of that. He had revealed
to me that I actually delayed justice in a lot
of ways by doing that. and actually kind of made
myself look worse than I should have been and
actually kind of played into the double's hand
a lot of times by trying to do it myself, getting
tired of laying on the Lord. But someone needs
to hear that today that God's promises, if you
want to see the full fruition of them, you need
to submit your will to the Lord. You need to
obey him. And that means closing those doors.
I feel like this is us kind of coming full circle.
It's the beginning of our topic today of You
know, when we reject the vessels and we reject
the promises from the Lord, it's oftentimes rooted
in ego and pride and a lack of humility. And
I know for me, that was right there. You can
see that area in my life. I didn't want to wait
on God, because I felt like waiting on him was
taking too long. And also, I was only doing half
of what he called me to do. I was waiting. But
I wasn't submitting I wasn't surrendering, right?
So yeah, so submitting to the Lord is very very
necessary if you want to see the promises if
you want to see these things come to their full
fruition obedience and submission is key Now
I pray that the Holy Spirit has spoken to you
today I pray that the Lord has used me to give
you some kind of revelation and some kind of
clarity and I just want to pray for whoever you
are listening to this today Dear Lord Heavenly
Father, I pray that each of those listening today
has eyes to see and ears to hear Lord if you're
putting on their heart to re -listen to this
again to pick something else up If there is something
that they're missing, if there's something that
they have misheard, something that they've misunderstood,
please illuminate it to them, Lord, and clarify
it for them. I pray, Heavenly Father, that there
is a humility that they receive. I pray, Heavenly
Father, that there is a softening of their hearts.
I pray that those who are listening to us today
with hardened hearts have softened hearts and
are receptive and open to what you are trying
to do in their life and what you are trying to
reveal to them. I pray, Heavenly Father, that
there is a conviction but not a condemnation
when it comes to rejecting. your answered prayers
i pray heavenly father that people welcome you
and receive your words i pray heavenly father
that the people who are dealing with the people
who are currently being affected by others in
their lives that are not hearing you and not
listening to your answered prayers that they
handle those people well and that they handle
those people correctly i pray that they seek
you for guidance and that they seek you for deliverance
and that they submit and they obey to what you
are calling them to do Heavenly Father. I pray
that they have a peace that surpasses all understanding
and the boldness of what you are calling them
to. I pray Heavenly Father that each of the people
listening to this podcast today know that they
are loved by you and that they have private moments
where they can just feel your love, and they
can feel your embrace. I pray, Heavenly Father,
that they hear you more clearly than they ever
have before, and I pray, Heavenly Father, that
they have strengthening in their discernment.
I pray, Lord Jesus, that you bring in voices
that are more Christ -like. I pray, Heavenly
Father, that you really start to work on their
surroundings, their environment, and their communities.
Remove the people, Lord Jesus, in their lives
that are not leading them towards you and are
leading them away from you. Remove the voices.
That are keeping them comfortable in their sin
that are affirming their sin. I pray Heavenly
Father that you bring in more voices That lead
them closer to you and lead them away from their
sin I pray Heavenly Father that they feel a conviction
To step away from these people and from these
environments that are leading the mystery and
leading them away that they feel a conviction
To seek you more and to seek your presence in
Jesus name. I pray amen Thank y 'all so much
for listening to this podcast episode. Please
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Send this to a friend, a family member. Re -share
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with that person. I pray that you have a blessed
weekend. Thank you so much for listening. I am
your host Danielle Townsend. Have a wonderful
day.