WEBVTT 00:00:07.940 --> 00:00:11.140 Welcome to her comeback. I'm so glad you're back 00:00:11.140 --> 00:00:14.339 with me. This is where 50 isn't your finish line. 00:00:14.460 --> 00:00:17.420 It is your starting point. The starting point 00:00:17.420 --> 00:00:20.140 of everything you want your life to be. The person 00:00:20.140 --> 00:00:23.410 that you are meant to be. I'm your host, Michelle 00:00:23.410 --> 00:00:27.070 Thompson, and we are proving that your best chapter 00:00:27.070 --> 00:00:30.350 may just be the one you haven't written yet. 00:00:31.109 --> 00:00:34.030 We'll continue each episode featuring honest 00:00:34.030 --> 00:00:36.770 conversation with women who have stopped going 00:00:36.770 --> 00:00:39.369 at it alone and have found their way to fulfillment, 00:00:39.829 --> 00:00:43.149 joy, and purpose in their second act. You'll 00:00:43.149 --> 00:00:45.729 hear about their struggles, their breakthroughs, 00:00:45.729 --> 00:00:48.770 and the practical steps that they took to create 00:00:48.770 --> 00:00:52.520 lives that they actually love. This podcast will 00:00:52.520 --> 00:00:55.140 show you how other women have made their comeback 00:00:55.140 --> 00:00:59.820 and how you can too. Welcome back. Good day, 00:00:59.820 --> 00:01:02.899 everyone. Welcome to her comeback. I am your 00:01:02.899 --> 00:01:06.099 host, Michelle Thompson. I am so happy to have 00:01:06.099 --> 00:01:10.120 Belinda Paulson with me today. Belinda, welcome. 00:01:10.700 --> 00:01:14.260 Thank you, Michelle. I'm glad to be here. Let's 00:01:14.260 --> 00:01:16.540 introduce you to the audience. If you could just 00:01:16.540 --> 00:01:18.579 tell us a little bit about yourself and what 00:01:18.579 --> 00:01:22.030 you do, that would be great. Great. Well, Michelle, 00:01:22.150 --> 00:01:25.150 I work as a social worker, a licensed clinical 00:01:25.150 --> 00:01:28.609 social worker. I'm also a board certified oncology 00:01:28.609 --> 00:01:32.969 social worker. I have many years in the field 00:01:32.969 --> 00:01:36.609 of social work. I started working with children 00:01:36.609 --> 00:01:39.810 and families, working with young parents who 00:01:39.810 --> 00:01:43.870 had young children that had multiple concerns 00:01:43.870 --> 00:01:45.650 and sometimes were involved in court, so the 00:01:45.650 --> 00:01:49.129 children were very delayed. I worked in the area 00:01:49.129 --> 00:01:52.290 of children exposed. to domestic violence, working 00:01:52.290 --> 00:01:55.549 with women. who were victims of domestic violence 00:01:55.549 --> 00:01:58.870 very early on into my career. And then I went 00:01:58.870 --> 00:02:01.950 into kind of the healthcare setting, working 00:02:01.950 --> 00:02:05.849 in a hospital as a social worker, covering ER, 00:02:06.310 --> 00:02:10.689 a lot of trauma exposed work. So working with 00:02:10.689 --> 00:02:12.650 domestic violence, working with children who've 00:02:12.650 --> 00:02:16.729 also been abused or neglected, and women who 00:02:16.729 --> 00:02:20.689 have been abused, it has been the very big part 00:02:20.689 --> 00:02:24.849 of my work. Almost 10 years ago, I transitioned 00:02:24.849 --> 00:02:28.909 into working in the area of oncology for psychosocial 00:02:28.909 --> 00:02:31.530 supports, working with cancer patients and caregivers. 00:02:32.169 --> 00:02:36.169 That came about from seeing individuals impacted 00:02:36.169 --> 00:02:40.520 by cancer. in my life and really wanting to understand 00:02:40.520 --> 00:02:44.280 how to best support patients and caregivers and 00:02:44.280 --> 00:02:47.000 seeing also the impact that cancer was having 00:02:47.000 --> 00:02:51.479 on lives. And so I transitioned into that space. 00:02:51.879 --> 00:02:56.469 So between my work and also... privately the 00:02:56.469 --> 00:03:00.669 issues surrounding families and how multiple 00:03:00.669 --> 00:03:02.949 things impact them from different systems, whether 00:03:02.949 --> 00:03:05.569 it's the health care system, court system, child 00:03:05.569 --> 00:03:09.969 welfare, education, all of those systems and 00:03:09.969 --> 00:03:13.770 how they impact us is really an area of interest 00:03:13.770 --> 00:03:16.650 for me and I love that social work allows me 00:03:16.650 --> 00:03:21.729 to do that. Wonderful, I always I admire the 00:03:21.729 --> 00:03:25.889 work that you as a social worker do and have 00:03:25.889 --> 00:03:28.830 experience and it just feels when I hear those 00:03:28.830 --> 00:03:30.930 different settings and the people that you're 00:03:30.930 --> 00:03:35.289 helping that feel so heavy that's hard to see 00:03:35.289 --> 00:03:37.750 maybe some of those situations there just feels 00:03:37.750 --> 00:03:40.330 like there has to be a special skill set to be 00:03:40.330 --> 00:03:44.669 able to go in and just every day see that and 00:03:44.669 --> 00:03:48.060 not feel discouraged or whatever. Do you have 00:03:48.060 --> 00:03:50.879 thoughts on that? Like, how do you cope? Yeah. 00:03:51.180 --> 00:03:53.460 And it's interesting because March is such a 00:03:53.460 --> 00:03:55.960 great month because it's National Social Work 00:03:55.960 --> 00:03:58.479 Month. That's always a question people ask how 00:03:58.479 --> 00:04:00.360 the social workers get into this field and then 00:04:00.360 --> 00:04:04.659 stay in this field. And then, of course, we have 00:04:04.659 --> 00:04:06.900 this as Women's Month. So this is a great way 00:04:06.900 --> 00:04:10.419 to end the most wonderful month, right? Absolutely. 00:04:11.020 --> 00:04:15.560 So I would say that for the most part, When people 00:04:15.560 --> 00:04:19.300 ask like, how does it not impact me or how do 00:04:19.300 --> 00:04:23.360 I deal with seeing the things in and out? I think 00:04:23.360 --> 00:04:28.899 of the fact that I'm here to help. And if I get 00:04:28.899 --> 00:04:32.620 too involved in that way, if I enter this space, 00:04:32.680 --> 00:04:35.040 if I don't enter the space differently, then 00:04:35.040 --> 00:04:41.339 I won't be of help. And so I can really be empathetic 00:04:41.339 --> 00:04:44.939 and use empathy, but there's a reason for it 00:04:44.939 --> 00:04:48.399 to really try to understand and to be a help 00:04:48.399 --> 00:04:52.300 to help folks look into their situation and come 00:04:52.300 --> 00:04:55.579 up with some real solutions. One of the things. 00:04:55.790 --> 00:04:58.230 effort is important, we can't always promise 00:04:58.230 --> 00:05:01.149 outcomes and that things will be different, or 00:05:01.149 --> 00:05:03.569 the way folks would like things to be, but we 00:05:03.569 --> 00:05:07.569 can work on strategies, we can work on understanding, 00:05:08.209 --> 00:05:11.829 and then what to do next. And so as a social 00:05:11.829 --> 00:05:17.310 worker, empathy is important, but being overly 00:05:17.310 --> 00:05:21.959 involved and sympathetic can wear. one out and 00:05:21.959 --> 00:05:25.519 it can, what we call vicarious trauma, where 00:05:25.519 --> 00:05:28.660 it's exposed time over time. Throughout my career, 00:05:29.000 --> 00:05:33.019 I haven't really had experiences where I felt 00:05:33.019 --> 00:05:35.420 like, oh, tremendously burnt out because one 00:05:35.420 --> 00:05:38.079 of the things is being balanced. The things that 00:05:38.079 --> 00:05:40.980 we ask people to practice, practicing them yourselves, 00:05:41.000 --> 00:05:44.779 right? Being able to have outlets that are healthy, 00:05:45.360 --> 00:05:50.180 also processing yourself as to what you just 00:05:50.180 --> 00:05:53.019 experienced and giving yourself that space to 00:05:53.019 --> 00:05:56.939 do it and then coming up with a strategy. And 00:05:56.939 --> 00:06:00.379 that's really how I deal with it. If I'm listening 00:06:00.379 --> 00:06:04.220 to really be able to serve, that's a different 00:06:04.220 --> 00:06:09.959 place than listening to feel sorry and to engage 00:06:09.959 --> 00:06:13.600 into all the things that are occurring. And then 00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:17.000 that moves you differently in a different space. 00:06:17.660 --> 00:06:20.879 That's an important distinction. Yeah. Yeah. 00:06:20.879 --> 00:06:25.379 It's a different way of listening. Yes. So what 00:06:25.379 --> 00:06:28.819 drew you into this world? Was there a defining 00:06:28.819 --> 00:06:31.959 moment that made you realize this is it? This 00:06:31.959 --> 00:06:34.959 is my calling. You know, that's really interesting 00:06:34.959 --> 00:06:38.860 because as growing up, I believe I was always 00:06:38.860 --> 00:06:44.120 a social worker. I was I was always the kid that 00:06:44.120 --> 00:06:47.339 had the front stoop in Brooklyn, New York and 00:06:47.519 --> 00:06:51.199 you know, someone, people used to like to come 00:06:51.199 --> 00:06:56.420 and sit and talk to me, kids, adults. And I was 00:06:56.420 --> 00:07:00.199 always a really good listener. And so it's interesting 00:07:00.199 --> 00:07:02.399 because now my friends and family were like, 00:07:02.420 --> 00:07:05.480 you were just always a social worker. And I was 00:07:05.480 --> 00:07:09.060 really good at problem solving. And I didn't 00:07:09.060 --> 00:07:11.439 always necessarily tell people what to do. But 00:07:11.439 --> 00:07:13.639 sometimes I would ask them a question and they 00:07:13.639 --> 00:07:17.470 suddenly say, Oh, that's a good question. And 00:07:17.470 --> 00:07:20.649 it would get them to start thinking, maybe I 00:07:20.649 --> 00:07:24.110 need another strategy here. So yeah, I grew up, 00:07:24.149 --> 00:07:25.810 my parents are immigrants, so they came to this 00:07:25.810 --> 00:07:27.850 country and didn't always know the language. 00:07:28.629 --> 00:07:32.410 And so as a young kid, sometimes I would have 00:07:32.410 --> 00:07:35.110 to explain certain things and go to appointments 00:07:35.110 --> 00:07:39.810 and listen and learned about resources and things 00:07:39.810 --> 00:07:43.790 in my community to help other families. there 00:07:43.790 --> 00:07:46.550 were a lot of elderly on my street and they, 00:07:46.790 --> 00:07:50.329 I used to sit and help them out and talk to them. 00:07:51.129 --> 00:07:53.889 Yeah. So I think I just was always natural for 00:07:53.889 --> 00:07:57.410 me. Oh, that's awesome. In some of your work, 00:07:57.509 --> 00:08:01.569 you also talk about being trauma informed. How 00:08:01.569 --> 00:08:05.709 does this lens change the way you show up for 00:08:05.709 --> 00:08:09.949 people? Yeah. It's always listening to hear how 00:08:10.600 --> 00:08:14.779 people's experiences impact them. It's understanding 00:08:14.779 --> 00:08:18.300 that there's multiple ways that someone can experience 00:08:18.300 --> 00:08:22.120 a situation that can make it traumatic, right? 00:08:23.560 --> 00:08:28.819 And understanding that that response may be or 00:08:28.819 --> 00:08:32.220 how they're operating, right? So if you see someone 00:08:32.220 --> 00:08:36.649 who may be hesitant to participate in a physical 00:08:36.649 --> 00:08:40.210 activity, it may not be that they are, you know, 00:08:40.490 --> 00:08:43.570 as some systems sometimes label them, not compliant 00:08:43.570 --> 00:08:46.610 or resistance and not willing to change or all 00:08:46.610 --> 00:08:49.129 of those type of negative things. There may be 00:08:49.129 --> 00:08:52.350 genuine fears from experiences that are preventing 00:08:52.350 --> 00:08:58.149 that or at least making them a approach the situation 00:08:58.149 --> 00:09:01.289 the way that they are. So understanding that 00:09:01.289 --> 00:09:04.870 and getting to understand how their experiences 00:09:04.870 --> 00:09:08.389 might be shaping their view of the situation, 00:09:08.850 --> 00:09:12.850 then one would one work with that, right? How 00:09:12.850 --> 00:09:15.289 has this impacted you and how is that coming 00:09:15.289 --> 00:09:18.570 into play now? And that's what really trauma 00:09:18.570 --> 00:09:21.870 informed is understanding that without moving 00:09:21.870 --> 00:09:26.490 too quickly and making judgments. Very good. 00:09:26.750 --> 00:09:29.570 Now you have written, is your book ready now? 00:09:30.590 --> 00:09:34.450 Yeah, my book is about to be published. Wonderful. 00:09:35.850 --> 00:09:40.090 The topic is focusing on the topic of resilience. 00:09:40.409 --> 00:09:43.389 And just as we're talking about trauma, and we're 00:09:43.389 --> 00:09:46.629 talking about everyday resilience that we all 00:09:46.629 --> 00:09:52.179 have, the book is really written for women. And 00:09:52.179 --> 00:09:54.679 so it's great that we're talking about this during 00:09:54.679 --> 00:09:58.279 International Women's Month. I'm very excited. 00:09:58.399 --> 00:10:01.860 The book will be released shortly. And the next 00:10:01.860 --> 00:10:05.419 week or so we have wonderful. The title is hot 00:10:05.419 --> 00:10:09.220 stone woman. And it's hot stone woman strength 00:10:09.220 --> 00:10:12.720 beyond your strong. If you think about it, how 00:10:12.720 --> 00:10:17.399 many times have you heard you're so strong? Yes, 00:10:18.259 --> 00:10:22.549 a lot. a lot right and and that's exactly what 00:10:22.549 --> 00:10:26.889 does that exactly mean and what I go through 00:10:26.889 --> 00:10:30.870 is really defining that but also some of the 00:10:30.870 --> 00:10:34.250 ways that has impacted women of hearing this 00:10:34.250 --> 00:10:37.029 through your lives and how we can actually take 00:10:37.029 --> 00:10:40.379 that. Seeing right and then the strength beyond 00:10:40.379 --> 00:10:44.799 your strong is Really talking about the real 00:10:44.799 --> 00:10:47.659 thing that we're tapping into that inner strength 00:10:47.659 --> 00:10:50.460 and where that comes from How do we tap into 00:10:50.460 --> 00:10:54.240 it? How do we get through those times that are? 00:10:54.720 --> 00:10:59.220 challenging but it also focuses on how we define 00:10:59.220 --> 00:11:03.360 resilience and The importance of resilience is 00:11:03.360 --> 00:11:07.549 that bounce back? which is great. But during 00:11:07.549 --> 00:11:11.669 that period when we're called to go through it, 00:11:12.070 --> 00:11:16.009 there's a capacity building moment, our ability 00:11:16.009 --> 00:11:19.549 to manage through. That's where the strength 00:11:19.549 --> 00:11:23.009 and strong balance is happening. Because there 00:11:23.009 --> 00:11:27.700 are some things that we may not be able to. get 00:11:27.700 --> 00:11:32.019 away from as much as they are challenges as much 00:11:32.019 --> 00:11:36.740 as they are difficult they're just going to be 00:11:36.740 --> 00:11:40.539 hard then it's okay how do we shift to building 00:11:40.539 --> 00:11:44.100 what we need to get through this and then get 00:11:44.100 --> 00:11:47.919 through it better get through it different and 00:11:47.919 --> 00:11:51.899 be okay with that What do you want a woman who's 00:11:51.899 --> 00:11:54.639 reading this to feel once she's read it, once 00:11:54.639 --> 00:11:58.000 she closes that last page? What do you want that 00:11:58.000 --> 00:12:01.240 woman to feel? I want them to say, I'm a hot 00:12:01.240 --> 00:12:05.399 stone woman. I've gone through stuff. I'm going 00:12:05.399 --> 00:12:07.700 to figure out how, when I'm going through these 00:12:07.700 --> 00:12:10.620 things, not only that I'm just trying to survive 00:12:10.620 --> 00:12:15.740 it, but how am I going to use this to bring meaning, 00:12:16.419 --> 00:12:23.000 to tap into my purpose? to even elevate from 00:12:23.000 --> 00:12:27.159 it. Thinking of not just everyone being okay 00:12:27.159 --> 00:12:30.340 with saying I'm just strong, but that when they 00:12:30.340 --> 00:12:35.320 see me, not only have I shown what I've gone 00:12:35.320 --> 00:12:39.480 through, but I've shown how I can take that and 00:12:39.480 --> 00:12:44.700 how I have made more meaning and how I have become 00:12:44.700 --> 00:12:48.360 who I am. and who I want to be as opposed to 00:12:48.360 --> 00:12:52.299 letting my circumstances define me. So important. 00:12:52.539 --> 00:12:55.399 I love that. It was interesting. You and I, we 00:12:55.399 --> 00:12:58.360 met on a cruise and we both discovered we were 00:12:58.360 --> 00:13:01.500 writing books to encourage women. So I love that 00:13:01.500 --> 00:13:03.840 connection that we have. So what do you think 00:13:03.840 --> 00:13:08.559 it is about this moment in time that has so many? 00:13:08.840 --> 00:13:12.240 women feeling called to share their stories because 00:13:12.240 --> 00:13:14.519 it seems to come across a number of us out there 00:13:14.519 --> 00:13:17.340 that are telling our stories our experience. 00:13:18.340 --> 00:13:23.720 I think historically women have been again that 00:13:23.720 --> 00:13:28.779 you're strong and you go through but you hear 00:13:28.779 --> 00:13:31.879 other people's stories, but not necessarily that 00:13:31.879 --> 00:13:35.379 you would share this sense of burden people and 00:13:35.379 --> 00:13:39.000 so on. And I think we're at the space now where 00:13:39.000 --> 00:13:42.120 we recognize there's just so much power in that 00:13:42.120 --> 00:13:45.919 voice and that we're also having a generation 00:13:45.919 --> 00:13:50.210 of where people connect. through social media. 00:13:50.210 --> 00:13:52.470 I don't think it actually makes them connect. 00:13:52.750 --> 00:13:55.429 I think actually what we do is just create the 00:13:55.429 --> 00:14:00.309 lives that we see and we have these images and 00:14:00.309 --> 00:14:02.690 we compare ourselves and there's all of that. 00:14:02.710 --> 00:14:05.710 And so it looks like women are sharing stories, 00:14:05.710 --> 00:14:08.190 but what is the story that you're really sharing? 00:14:08.809 --> 00:14:13.429 And how are you really helping? And how can we 00:14:13.429 --> 00:14:18.799 as women continue to elevate other women, not 00:14:18.799 --> 00:14:23.220 only just women who are in my generation, but 00:14:23.220 --> 00:14:26.639 those who are to come, because I do believe that 00:14:26.639 --> 00:14:30.500 things are hard these days, and I don't necessarily 00:14:30.500 --> 00:14:35.299 feel that all the skill sets are being taught 00:14:35.299 --> 00:14:38.840 the way that they were many years ago as to how 00:14:38.840 --> 00:14:43.659 to manage through, how to not just cope, but 00:14:43.659 --> 00:14:48.460 how to elevate from those experiences. And so 00:14:48.460 --> 00:14:51.139 for me, that's where the stories need to come 00:14:51.139 --> 00:14:54.840 in. We need more models out there. I think we 00:14:54.840 --> 00:14:59.159 need folks to know that no one is claiming anything 00:14:59.159 --> 00:15:03.340 to be easy. Right. but that there are strategies 00:15:03.340 --> 00:15:07.519 and tools. And the more we share our stories 00:15:07.519 --> 00:15:11.860 from that lens, and not necessarily all the rosy, 00:15:11.980 --> 00:15:16.919 peachy images and messages that folks are always 00:15:16.919 --> 00:15:20.100 willing to share, but that we show that there's 00:15:20.100 --> 00:15:22.879 the grinding part, there's the bruising, the 00:15:22.879 --> 00:15:25.419 knee getting, your hands will be dirty, there 00:15:25.419 --> 00:15:29.379 will be tough times, there's work to be done. 00:15:29.549 --> 00:15:33.070 to get you to be who you want to be and where 00:15:33.070 --> 00:15:36.330 you want to be. And that's really where I think 00:15:36.330 --> 00:15:39.389 stories are important, because there's just so 00:15:39.389 --> 00:15:43.629 much out there in the world that are images of 00:15:43.629 --> 00:15:48.169 things looking just, wow, I can get there because 00:15:48.169 --> 00:15:51.090 this person looks a certain way and this is their 00:15:51.090 --> 00:15:54.399 lives. They don't know everything that came behind 00:15:54.399 --> 00:15:57.659 it. And they don't also, we don't, we also need 00:15:57.659 --> 00:15:59.879 to share the skills that we've learned along 00:15:59.879 --> 00:16:03.600 the way. Absolutely. There's a lot of great things 00:16:03.600 --> 00:16:06.980 in what you shared there. And yeah, I think it's 00:16:06.980 --> 00:16:09.860 that to me, what resonates is that authenticity 00:16:09.860 --> 00:16:13.279 is yes, you've accomplished things and you've 00:16:13.279 --> 00:16:15.879 showed what was hard about doing the things that 00:16:15.879 --> 00:16:17.919 you've been able to do the things that you've. 00:16:18.029 --> 00:16:21.409 came through and then, yeah, that messy middle 00:16:21.409 --> 00:16:24.529 and knowing that it's okay. It's okay that the 00:16:24.529 --> 00:16:27.370 things that you feel and experience, but just 00:16:27.370 --> 00:16:29.870 keep going. Like you were saying, the strategies, 00:16:29.950 --> 00:16:32.250 how to work through these different situations 00:16:32.250 --> 00:16:36.149 is so important. Was there any particular spark 00:16:36.149 --> 00:16:39.029 that brought on the writing of the book? I think 00:16:39.029 --> 00:16:41.529 in our talking, you had shared that you've been 00:16:41.529 --> 00:16:44.049 speaking and doing a number of different things 00:16:44.049 --> 00:16:46.529 in your work, but what was the spark for the 00:16:46.529 --> 00:16:50.769 book specifically? I started thinking about how 00:16:50.769 --> 00:16:53.230 we think about resilience, how we think about 00:16:53.230 --> 00:16:56.490 building one's capacity to endure, actually during 00:16:56.490 --> 00:17:02.210 COVID. I saw folks struggle and I saw some individuals 00:17:02.210 --> 00:17:07.769 take the opportunity and sought this as, okay, 00:17:07.950 --> 00:17:10.069 these are challenges, but there's opportunity 00:17:10.069 --> 00:17:12.210 here and I'm gonna find what those are and I'm 00:17:12.210 --> 00:17:15.599 going to come out. different for it. The other 00:17:15.599 --> 00:17:21.420 thing is seeing how during that time, seeing 00:17:21.420 --> 00:17:24.599 the difference not only of how people responded, 00:17:25.000 --> 00:17:29.299 but also seeing there was a situation where I 00:17:29.299 --> 00:17:31.960 was watching something on the news and I saw 00:17:31.960 --> 00:17:37.220 I saw the responses of everyone during this protest 00:17:37.220 --> 00:17:39.779 and there was this and I started thinking about 00:17:39.779 --> 00:17:43.730 it and I said, where's the strategy? There's 00:17:43.730 --> 00:17:47.069 a lot of reaction to things and what's happening, 00:17:47.210 --> 00:17:50.609 but where are the strategy? And I really realized 00:17:50.609 --> 00:17:55.329 that the more and more I have seen. the way that 00:17:55.329 --> 00:18:00.369 people are more reactive as opposed to really 00:18:00.369 --> 00:18:03.289 thinking when there's trauma, when there's difficult 00:18:03.289 --> 00:18:05.970 times, it's expected that there'll be some level 00:18:05.970 --> 00:18:09.789 of that. But being able to really take that step 00:18:09.789 --> 00:18:13.789 back and think about this was very traumatic 00:18:13.789 --> 00:18:17.710 and this is something that's hard. So in my book, 00:18:18.210 --> 00:18:20.549 I pick a character and it's not a Christian book, 00:18:20.549 --> 00:18:23.369 but it's a It's a story in the Bible, it's about 00:18:23.369 --> 00:18:25.869 a woman named Rizpa. This is where the hot stone 00:18:25.869 --> 00:18:27.970 comes because her name actually translates to 00:18:27.970 --> 00:18:31.710 hot stone. Has no value whatsoever. Like she's 00:18:31.710 --> 00:18:34.650 not seen, she's a concubine and all this. But 00:18:34.650 --> 00:18:37.849 she had some very traumatic things that occurred 00:18:37.849 --> 00:18:43.710 to her. And her response became a way that changed 00:18:43.710 --> 00:18:47.900 a whole community. And I started thinking about 00:18:47.900 --> 00:18:50.880 all these women. So in my book, I do talk about 00:18:50.880 --> 00:18:55.460 some of our modern day heroes of women. It was 00:18:55.460 --> 00:18:58.599 based on just taking this story and seeing all 00:18:58.599 --> 00:19:01.519 of these qualities. But I talk about different 00:19:01.519 --> 00:19:05.140 women who have also contributed throughout history, 00:19:05.700 --> 00:19:10.759 that they have all gone through traumatic experiences. 00:19:10.960 --> 00:19:15.059 They have gone through difficult times. but they've 00:19:15.059 --> 00:19:19.500 always tapped into a bigger purpose and more 00:19:19.500 --> 00:19:23.200 meaning. What is this meaning? I can't necessarily 00:19:23.200 --> 00:19:26.720 change or have control over certain circumstances. 00:19:27.609 --> 00:19:31.470 But how can I look at my response and how can 00:19:31.470 --> 00:19:34.789 I not only grow, but maybe have an impact into 00:19:34.789 --> 00:19:38.450 a greater community, my family, my community, 00:19:38.549 --> 00:19:42.250 which I live. And so many people are looking 00:19:42.250 --> 00:19:45.789 for meaning. So many people are doing things 00:19:45.789 --> 00:19:49.589 to try to find where they belong and what they 00:19:49.589 --> 00:19:53.700 should do. This is the time for us to be able 00:19:53.700 --> 00:19:56.720 to, as to you say, stories. There's lots of stories, 00:19:56.779 --> 00:20:00.640 but how do we use that? How do we really use 00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:03.980 those stories in a way that really help and translate 00:20:03.980 --> 00:20:08.079 into very big, into action? And that's what I 00:20:08.079 --> 00:20:11.799 hope to inspire women to see. Even in, I have 00:20:11.799 --> 00:20:15.599 heroes that focused on some social justice issues 00:20:15.599 --> 00:20:18.940 and why did that, why did they take what happened 00:20:18.940 --> 00:20:22.269 to them? and say, now I'm going to speak out 00:20:22.269 --> 00:20:27.029 about this issue. And sometimes we think we need 00:20:27.029 --> 00:20:30.910 to do that on a big, large national scale. But 00:20:30.910 --> 00:20:35.630 it can be in the everyday conversations. That's 00:20:35.630 --> 00:20:38.569 true. I wanted to ask you, too, a little about 00:20:38.569 --> 00:20:42.450 just your own kind of comeback of sorts. Is there 00:20:42.450 --> 00:20:45.390 a moment in your journey where you had to dig 00:20:45.390 --> 00:20:48.150 deep and come back from something? What does 00:20:48.150 --> 00:20:52.089 that look like for you? I try to think of from 00:20:52.089 --> 00:20:55.430 a perspective of, I think we all have some things 00:20:55.430 --> 00:20:59.730 that have occurred in our lives and it gives 00:20:59.730 --> 00:21:02.829 you time to reflect. And again, I think for me, 00:21:03.470 --> 00:21:07.609 when I've had like setbacks or in things that 00:21:07.609 --> 00:21:11.869 have occurred, I've always gone back to say, 00:21:12.130 --> 00:21:15.109 okay, these were circumstances, some maybe not 00:21:15.109 --> 00:21:19.839 of my control and some maybe were. But what is 00:21:19.839 --> 00:21:24.339 it that I have a bigger vision for my life? And 00:21:24.339 --> 00:21:29.619 as long as I can stay very clear on that vision, 00:21:29.819 --> 00:21:32.640 that's where you can get always that's your kind 00:21:32.640 --> 00:21:34.779 of your comeback, right? I'm working towards 00:21:34.779 --> 00:21:37.880 this is the vision for my life. This is what 00:21:37.880 --> 00:21:45.019 I see my life as and. Being able to clearly define 00:21:45.019 --> 00:21:48.160 that setting boundaries, setting those limits 00:21:48.160 --> 00:21:52.460 really means that there's less of the back and 00:21:52.460 --> 00:21:55.480 forth of having to come up and come down and 00:21:55.480 --> 00:21:59.680 come up and come down. And so I think for me 00:21:59.680 --> 00:22:04.279 was learning that pretty early on. And that has 00:22:04.279 --> 00:22:08.619 been really about what's my strategy. Have you 00:22:08.619 --> 00:22:12.009 ever been in that place where. The vision you 00:22:12.009 --> 00:22:15.009 thought that what you thought was your vision 00:22:15.009 --> 00:22:17.549 or where you wanted to go, you had to go back 00:22:17.549 --> 00:22:19.930 and rethink. It's like, oh, well, that thought 00:22:19.930 --> 00:22:22.650 that was my vision, but that's not going to work. 00:22:22.809 --> 00:22:25.309 I gotta rework it. Have you been in that kind 00:22:25.309 --> 00:22:30.710 of situation too? I, I don't know if it's so 00:22:30.710 --> 00:22:34.869 much that maybe strategy has shifted more than 00:22:34.869 --> 00:22:39.210 I would say in itself in itself. Right? So there's 00:22:39.210 --> 00:22:42.779 like. that big over mission and what is my purpose 00:22:42.779 --> 00:22:46.660 and feeling connected to that. And then there's, 00:22:46.859 --> 00:22:49.400 okay, this is the vision I have for this. Now, 00:22:49.720 --> 00:22:53.599 I may have the vision and the strategy may need 00:22:53.599 --> 00:22:57.519 to shift. But if I am very clear that the vision 00:22:57.519 --> 00:23:03.519 is very much in line, very rarely would I shift 00:23:03.519 --> 00:23:08.869 that. Now, are we talking about shifting strategy, 00:23:09.130 --> 00:23:14.009 yes. Sometimes you have to adjust the way you 00:23:14.009 --> 00:23:18.410 thought we would get here is not gonna work for 00:23:18.410 --> 00:23:21.410 whatever reason. But again, your vision is like 00:23:21.410 --> 00:23:24.269 if you have a vision of writing a book, right, 00:23:24.329 --> 00:23:27.670 then that's like the outcome. Well, that's taking 00:23:27.670 --> 00:23:29.809 a strategy, being intentional, and it's also 00:23:29.809 --> 00:23:31.609 working through some of your barriers. And I 00:23:31.609 --> 00:23:34.529 had those doubts and those fears and those concerns. 00:23:34.970 --> 00:23:38.460 Those are all there. but working through them, 00:23:38.460 --> 00:23:41.819 working through your strategy, and then also 00:23:41.819 --> 00:23:44.960 not being attached to the full outcome of it. 00:23:44.960 --> 00:23:50.079 So if my purpose is that a woman picks up this 00:23:50.079 --> 00:23:54.240 book and feels that, yeah, I can do the hard 00:23:54.240 --> 00:24:00.039 things, even when it feels challenging, I can 00:24:00.039 --> 00:24:03.700 step back, come up with a strategy, get the supports 00:24:03.700 --> 00:24:07.509 and resources, figure this out. Where do I need 00:24:07.509 --> 00:24:10.809 to grow for this to be able to happen and then 00:24:10.809 --> 00:24:14.950 move forward to doing that? It may just be one 00:24:14.950 --> 00:24:19.529 woman in this whole world, but that was my purpose. 00:24:19.569 --> 00:24:24.750 And that's what it is. And do we get so logged 00:24:24.750 --> 00:24:29.650 into more of this outcome, right? These numbers, 00:24:29.670 --> 00:24:31.990 right? Those kind of metric type things. And 00:24:31.990 --> 00:24:34.250 that's what a lot of social media does to us 00:24:34.250 --> 00:24:38.380 too. Or am I really looking for a bigger purpose? 00:24:39.440 --> 00:24:42.819 Yeah. And that's going to really change how you 00:24:42.819 --> 00:24:47.039 experience this. Yeah, I definitely I get that. 00:24:47.039 --> 00:24:50.990 And just thinking about my own. life and have 00:24:50.990 --> 00:24:54.069 like with career and different pivots from the 00:24:54.069 --> 00:24:57.210 corporate job to having my own business. And, 00:24:57.210 --> 00:25:00.849 but I like what you were saying about my own 00:25:00.849 --> 00:25:05.730 personal vision and my own purpose. And I did 00:25:05.730 --> 00:25:08.210 have to change strategies and what that looked 00:25:08.210 --> 00:25:12.650 like and coming into alignment with the true 00:25:12.650 --> 00:25:15.029 direction where I need to be. So I like how you 00:25:15.029 --> 00:25:18.230 phrase that. If there's one thing you'd want 00:25:18.230 --> 00:25:21.210 every woman today listening to know about her 00:25:21.210 --> 00:25:23.869 own strength, what would you say? The only person 00:25:23.869 --> 00:25:28.190 that can define that is you. Sometimes you may 00:25:28.190 --> 00:25:33.109 feel overwhelmed. take a look at what you need 00:25:33.109 --> 00:25:35.750 to strengthen capacity and where there is an 00:25:35.750 --> 00:25:38.150 opportunity for some things to change and where 00:25:38.150 --> 00:25:41.750 it really isn't an opportunity, then it's a different 00:25:41.750 --> 00:25:45.809 strategy. So what are we really in? And really 00:25:45.809 --> 00:25:50.210 being able to take a look at that. I've seen 00:25:50.210 --> 00:25:54.750 people suffer through experiences, and that's 00:25:54.750 --> 00:25:57.730 really because of where their focus is. And their 00:25:57.730 --> 00:26:00.690 focuses are usually in areas that there's just 00:26:00.690 --> 00:26:04.450 not an area they can control, and the way that 00:26:04.450 --> 00:26:08.730 they're thinking about it. And that is where 00:26:08.730 --> 00:26:14.609 life can feel very heavy and challenging. So 00:26:14.609 --> 00:26:19.920 we can celebrate our strength. and how strong 00:26:19.920 --> 00:26:24.819 we are. But we can also acknowledge that it takes 00:26:24.819 --> 00:26:27.720 strategy and part of that is support and part 00:26:27.720 --> 00:26:31.319 of that is personal growth and what I need to 00:26:31.319 --> 00:26:34.900 be able to build my capacity to move through 00:26:34.900 --> 00:26:37.740 these through life as challenges present themselves. 00:26:38.779 --> 00:26:41.940 How can any of our listeners today get in touch 00:26:41.940 --> 00:26:43.960 with you if they want to connect with you and 00:26:43.960 --> 00:26:46.119 buy your book? What's the best way for people 00:26:46.119 --> 00:26:50.789 to connect with you? There's info at RISPA group 00:26:50.789 --> 00:26:56.910 .org and then there's my email at Pauluson lcsw 00:26:56.910 --> 00:27:02.490 at Gmail. Okay. Will your book be on Amazon or 00:27:02.490 --> 00:27:06.410 other platforms? It will be on Amazon. Okay, 00:27:06.890 --> 00:27:12.569 great. And I could also gladly send you information 00:27:12.569 --> 00:27:14.750 when it's the release and I would love it if 00:27:14.750 --> 00:27:17.700 you could share. Absolutely. I would love to 00:27:17.700 --> 00:27:21.579 do that. Wonderful. I really appreciate your 00:27:21.579 --> 00:27:24.539 time today, Belinda. It was just, it was awesome 00:27:24.539 --> 00:27:26.759 just hearing more about the work that you've 00:27:26.759 --> 00:27:29.759 done and your space and resilience and the number 00:27:29.759 --> 00:27:32.759 of people that you've touched and continue to 00:27:32.759 --> 00:27:35.640 from day to day and then even more so with your 00:27:35.640 --> 00:27:38.759 new book. So really love, love what you're doing. 00:27:38.980 --> 00:27:41.839 So thank you for your time. Oh, thank you. Thank 00:27:41.839 --> 00:27:45.019 you for having me and I look forward to even 00:27:45.019 --> 00:27:48.480 hearing about your book as well. Thank you so 00:27:48.480 --> 00:27:51.319 much. All the success to you and we'll have to 00:27:51.319 --> 00:27:54.960 keep in touch. Absolutely. Thanks so much for 00:27:54.960 --> 00:27:57.500 joining me today on Her Comeback. I hope this 00:27:57.500 --> 00:28:01.279 conversation inspired you to keep moving forward 00:28:01.279 --> 00:28:03.740 no matter where you are in your own journey. 00:28:04.119 --> 00:28:07.119 If you love this episode, I'd be so grateful 00:28:07.119 --> 00:28:10.519 if you would subscribe to the show on my YouTube 00:28:10.519 --> 00:28:15.180 channel at Michelle Thompson -LifeCoaching. Go 00:28:15.180 --> 00:28:18.299 there for more encouragement, insights, and just 00:28:18.299 --> 00:28:21.099 real talk about making a comeback happen. Hit 00:28:21.099 --> 00:28:23.720 that subscribe button so you never miss new content. 00:28:23.880 --> 00:28:28.099 You can also visit HerComebackPodcast .com for 00:28:28.099 --> 00:28:31.559 notes, resources, connect with me, connect with 00:28:31.559 --> 00:28:34.500 other women and our amazing community who are 00:28:34.500 --> 00:28:37.619 rewriting their stories. Remember, your setback 00:28:37.619 --> 00:28:40.880 isn't your final chapter. It's just the setup 00:28:40.880 --> 00:28:43.680 for your greatest comeback yet. I'll see you 00:28:43.680 --> 00:28:54.829 next time. Until then. My legs up in my tongue