Welcome to her comeback. I'm so glad you're back
with me. This is where 50 isn't your finish line.
It is your starting point. The starting point
of everything you want your life to be. The person
that you are meant to be. I'm your host, Michelle
Thompson, and we are proving that your best chapter
may just be the one you haven't written yet.
We'll continue each episode featuring honest
conversation with women who have stopped going
at it alone and have found their way to fulfillment,
joy and purpose in their second act. You'll hear
about their struggles, their breakthroughs and
the practical steps that they took to create
lives that they actually love. This podcast will
show you how other women have made their comeback
and how you can too. Welcome back. Good day everyone.
Welcome to her comeback. I am delighted to have
our guest today. Vicki Thomas Vicki is the chief
purpose officer at my future purpose. It is a
membership. organization that offers bi -weekly
guest speakers, quarterly workshops, virtual
retreats, and collaborative initiatives. With
over five years in this role, she helps individuals
discover and harness the power of purpose in
their personal and professional lives. She is
a former executive at ABC TV in New York and
a vice president of marketing and advertising
for the Credit Union National Association. She
has a rich background in media marketing and
storytelling. In fact, she won a hundred thousand
dollar purpose prize from Encore .org in 2013.
for her impactful work that she did raising awareness
for Purple Heart Homes, a nonprofit veteran organization
that provides housing solutions to older veterans.
Vicki's also produced and marketed the Dance
and Granny's exercise videos to national acclaim
and created PBS programs such as Facing Retirement
and the Senior Olympics. She's passionate about
her. lifelong purpose and has no plans to fully
retire. Vicki, welcome. I'm so glad and delighted
to have you here on her comeback. Thank you.
Thank you, Michelle. I'm delighted, delighted
to be here. Thank you for inviting. Yes, thank
you. And you are in Connecticut, correct? Is
where you reside? Yes. Awesome. Very good. I
have just some questions here to walk through
your amazing story and the things that you've
been able to do in your life. So let's start
with your successful career at ABC TV. What made
you decide to start something new in your seventies
rather than slow down? I decided, I guess the
desire to find something different, that something
was missing in my life probably started in my
fifties. I got to a point and I kept asking myself,
I was doing well, I was happy, but something
was missing. I felt that I had become my job
description. I felt that in that process, I did
not know who am I if this piece of paper is not
in front of me defining my duties that I perform
for this company. Who am I? And did I become
what I wanted to become? And that was a restlessness
I experienced for, I don't want to say 20 years
because there were several things I ultimately
did. I worked, I did a lot of work for financial
companies. I put together pre -retirement seminars
for women, for Prudential Securities and for
Merrill Lynch and for American Express. I did
a lot of work for them because men and women.
are entirely different when it comes to managing
their money and even feeling comfortable with
it. So I did that. But then I thought, I really
need something else. And I realized that our
generation was the Woodstock generation, that
we march for civil rights, that we march for
women's rights, that we watched a moon landing
on black and white television. And that that
heart of our activism was dormant in me. And
it hadn't surfaced for a long time, because the
60s passed, you got responsibility, you paid
the mortgage, you got married, all of those things.
So my purpose always became living in the moment,
my purpose working for credit unions, my purpose
working for ABC, those, but what's my purpose?
What's my purpose? And how do I want to do that?
So instead of slowing down, I decided to start
something new. And that's when I co -founded
with my partner, My Future Purpose. And along
the way, I realized that in the 60s, we've gone
from VW vans to Medicare plans. We've gone from
free love to free shipping. We've gone from Woodstock
to wisdom. And so I thought if we're gonna live
longer, and let's say if you retire at 65 and
live to 90, that's not retirement, that's another
life stage. So you have to be prepared to what
are you gonna do that's gonna give you joy and
satisfaction. And paid positions, comfortable
as they were, nice as they were, were no longer
providing and fulfilling me with who I was. what
I wanted to be and now separated from my job
description. Who am I? And that's why I decided
to reach out and do something different. Wonderful.
That's amazing. Was there a specific spark that
led you and your co -founder to create My Future
Purpose? How did that come about? It's that search
for purpose. for my purpose. And then during
that time, there was a period of time in the
newspaper when you're in television, like I was,
you live on trends, you have to stay what's trending,
because that's what you bring to your audience.
And that's how the news everything is about what's
trending. So I'm always aware of what's trending,
and to stay on top of what's trending. And I
kept seeing these articles that appeared in magazines
and newspapers. about how people are searching
for their purpose. One article was in the New
York Times, it was a Sunday New York Times, and
it was an interview with President Biden. And
some of the reporter had asked him about being
a comforter, and what pleasure does he get in
being a comforter in cheese? What's the reward?
And he said, because of the experiences I have
had, the devastating lives in my family that
I have lost, that are very precious to me. He
said, I can relate. I have empathy. And he says,
you know, when I'm able to comfort somebody,
it gives me purpose. Then there was another one.
And I just kept seeing all these articles about
even companies, 500 companies signed a purpose
statement so that they were not only supporting
their stockholders, they were providing a sense
of purpose to their employees. to their stockholders,
as well as to their customers. So purpose became
very, very big, and it was trending. So I called
my friend, Joyce. We traveled together in conferences
that then room together. And I said, hey, Joyce.
I said, have you noticed how often purpose is
used? And I said, it's a trend that's emerging.
I said, I think there's a business here. And
I said, I think between your skills and my skills.
I said, I think we can help a lot of people who
are in transition. And that's how we started.
That's how My Future Purpose started. That that's
just amazing. And in terms of your membership
organization, are many of your members older
at in retirement age? Or what would you say?
Our average age of our members probably 55. Our
oldest is 92. Oh, wow. And she's still writes
she I mean, an amazing, amazing person. So we
range in there predominantly, I want to say there
were probably 7525 75 % women 25 % men. Okay,
so that's who the members are. They and I'll
tell you, I had charmed careers, I've led a charmed
career life. But what I do now is probably the
most rewarding thing I've ever done. To meet
people who have found their purpose, who are
living their purpose, who can't wait to get up
in the morning, who love what they do, who have
done extraordinary things is like you just want
to sit back and go, wow, you blow me away. I'm
so in awe of you. And I've met so many people
I am in awe of for what they accomplished and
what they did. Oh, that's wonderful. Now, For
anyone in our audience or listeners that are
thinking like, oh, this all sounds amazing, but
geez, I don't really know what my purpose is.
Is there any suggestion that you give to folks
to say, hey, this is how you can maybe go about
finding your purpose? Okay. So since we've been
at this, we've determined there are six buckets.
If you're going to find your purpose. Okay. The
first bucket, you can become an advocate. You
can advocate for yourself. or you can advocate
for a cause you believe in. The second bucket
is good can come from loss. Look at all the nonprofits
that formed as a result of a tragedy, Mothers
Against Drunk Driving, Purple Heart Home started
as a result of the Iraq War. Look at all the
events that started after 9 -11. So good can
come from loss. The third bucket, you can become
an entrepreneur, run your own business. Open
up your own snack shop or soup shop or whatever
it is run your own business The fourth bucket
is you can volunteer You can bring your expertise
your talent your knowledge and go to work go
and volunteer for a nonprofit who can use your
skill sets and who knows You might be offered
a job within that because they go, you know,
that's a skill set We didn't have and we'd love
to add you to our payroll Or you might be so
motivated by what you learned about that nonprofit
that you go, you know what? I'm going to start
my own nonprofit. The fifth bucket is having
interests or a hobby. Look at the number of women
who quilt. Look at the number of men who have
to collect cars and fix cars and show up at car
race or car rallies. So that's a very interesting
hobby and an interest in it gives you purpose.
The sixth bucket is, if you're so inclined, when
you're looking for a job, look at, does your
purpose align with the company you're about to
go to work for? And the seventh bucket, do what
the hell you want. And in our organization, in
our store, we have a deck of cards. There are
56 cards in that deck. And they're color coded
to every one of this. Purposes that I mentioned
and on the back side is I enjoy Helping other
people and there's a whole series of cards and
you put them in a pile. Yes, that's me No, that's
not me. Maybe that's me Then what you do is you
you wind up with a whole lot in your yes pile
You go through your yes pile you cull it and
you pick the top ten Okay, then you take that
top ten and you create a pyramid you put your
first one on top You put the other two underneath,
the other three under there, and four under there.
And then you turn them over. And you turn them
over and go, oh wow, looks like I'm leaning toward
entrepreneurial tendencies. And oh my gosh, I
have a hobby and an interest in here. So it kind
of gives you an idea by taking that deck of cards
and helping you determine a direction. And then
of course we take them. on a, through a journey
of once they've determined their direction, do
you want to start a business? How do you do it?
Well, we have a program for that. It's called
Mavericks Wanted, From Career to Calling. So
anyway, everything segues and blends from one
thing to another. That's amazing. I love it.
When you call yourself the Chief Purpose Officer,
what does that actually mean to you? Well, that's
interesting. You know, you have all these typical
corporate titles, Vice President, Manager, Director.
Why would you be ordinary? If you're going to
start a business, be, as Mickey says, be outrageous.
So I don't know where I saw it somewhere. I guess
on LinkedIn, I saw somebody was a Chief Purpose
Officer. And I thought, well, that's really good.
I'm claiming that. I don't know who was the first
person, but that's going to be me from now on.
And sometimes people ask me and say, is that
really a job, a position? I said, it is now,
and I'm wearing that. So that's how I got the
idea of a chief. I stole it, actually. It's not
my original idea. So somebody else had it. And
it's interesting because Joyce is the chief relationship
manager, because she was upset. Well, I was going
to be a vice president. I can't be a vice president
if you're a chief. I have to be a chief too.
So we have a purpose officer and a relationship
manager. And those are the two things that are
really important in any business. And boy, now
more than ever, relationships and relationship
management. Yes. Yes. Oh, that's terrific. Really
cool stuff. Now, I understand that you had to
pause the purpose group discussions as a COVID
pilot. What surprised you most about what people
needed during that time? You know, when we started
My Future Purpose, our goal was to be able to
do conferences up and down the Easterns on what
we call the Amtrak corridor. And we started,
we put together a whole program and we had a
keynote speaker. And in fact, we had designed
these buckets that we have already identified
as advocacy volunteer, and we found people to
be on a panel in each one of those. Well, then
COVID hit. And we had to cancel our conference.
And so I thought, and then comes this isolation.
I mean, we were shut down, we were locked down.
And it was like people stopped commuting. start
making sourdough bread, banana bread, whatever,
growing their hair out. I mean, from roots, their
roots came out and it was white like mine. And
I said to Joyce, I said, God, I think there's
the worst thing that can happen now is isolation
and loneliness. And I said, I think that we should
create a Zoom session and bring some of our speakers
to be able to talk about these various themes
of purpose. And so that's how Pause for Purpose
began. It's because we had a conference and we
had a whole lot of speakers lined up and we just
tapped those speakers and said, hey, would you
be willing to talk about, we had one fireman
from 9 -11 who lost 26 guys from his ladder truck
to talk about his, what he went through and how
they came to form Heart 9 -11. We had a lady
who was got into drugs so bad, she went into
the depths of despair, who started an advocacy
group for addicts. And she became our topic on
advocacy. So we had them all talk. And that just
sparked a lot of interest with people who were
home, working from home, and suddenly realizing,
you know, I'm not so happy, like my job, I really
like that I'm not standing on a train platform
commuting into the city, or that I'm not stuck
in traffic. for all these hours, I'm home and
I'm using productive time and I'm starting to
think different. I'm starting to think, I'm not
happy being confined to my job. I need to look
at something else. And COVID changed us dramatically,
changed kids, it's still affecting us today.
And what it did is it led to a lot of people
starting their own business. A lot of innovation
started as a result of COVID. There were some
good things that came, a lot of good things that
came out of COVID. And still today, they're leading
healthy companies and they're happy and they've
changed their lives. COVID caused many to change
their lifestyle. Definitely. I totally get that.
Let's talk a little bit more about your book.
So your book is called From Woodstock to Wisdom,
A Boomer's Journey to 80. So tell us what made
you write it now and who did you write it for?
So I decided at age 78 that I wanted to be an
influencer. I knew nothing about it and I suck
at social media. And so I signed up for this
course. How to become an influencer. Oh, I thought
that just fits me so right and it's timing couldn't
be bad and it's got to be trending because if
I'm gonna do it's got to be trending fill out
all the forms fill all the application asked
all these questions Sent in my money in the end
it asked like who are you tell us a little about
yourself How old are you all that kind of stuff
about two weeks later? I get a call from this
guy Duncan McCoy Vicki We got your application
And I said, Oh, did I miss something? He said,
Oh, no, no, no. But we're just calling because
we want to let you know, we'd be happy to refund
your money. Why would I be? Why would I want
my money refunded? Well, because everybody honestly,
because everybody in the class is in their twenties
and thirties. And I said, I like twenties and
thirties. And I said, I may be slower. And I
said, Duncan, you fell into an ISM. He said,
Oh, what? I said, an ISM, ageism. I said, you
have a perception of who I am. You have that
vision of this 78 -year -old woman who's applied
for this in her right mind. Is she even in her
right mind that she sent in this application?
I said, you don't know a thing about me, and
you've judged me. You've put me in the ageism
category. So I took the course, and then I decided,
okay, how am I going to do this? So I'm going
to start by posting. I started in January of
last year, every week. I'd post a topic. First
I talked about who we were as a generation, how
music informed. We went from Woodstock or we
went from VW vans to Medicare plans, from free
love to free shipping, and from Woodstock to
wisdom. And so who were we along the way and
who are we now? Then I got into what are some
of the funny things that happen to us as we age
and what are some of the things that we should
think about? that we might not have thought about.
And I'd post every week and then I'd take that
post and I'd expand it into either a 750 or a
2 ,000 word article. I wrote my book in snackable
sections because 50 % of people have not read
a book in 2024. And I figured they're streaming.
They're getting little tidbits, little sections.
We don't have the attention spans we did. So
why would I burden somebody with a 3 ,000 to
5 ,000 word article? I'm making it simple. You
can choose. It's bathroom read if you want to.
You don't have to follow it in sequence. And
I wrote articles that were funny, like how many
jean sizes are in your closet. And for me, they
went from a 10 to a 16. And I had this whole
thing about the comfort your genes give you and
the stories they tell about the life you live.
My tens, back in the days of my Zumba days and
when I was on the train platform commuting into
New York City. So each size tells me a story.
Then I did one on, we laugh so much we leak or
the bottle caps have gotten an eighth inch smaller.
So trying to open them is very hard. And they've
gotten smaller. Well, that's good for the landfill.
But an eighth of an inch for these fingers? Not
that easy. You would get these clamshells that
are in plastic. And I swear to God, you better
have worked out a gym to be able to open the
things. I did one on that. Then I did another
section on, I went to a Willie Nelson concert,
which was fabulous. He was 92. And he sang a
song that haunted me that I had never heard before.
And it was, roll me up and smoke me when I die.
I love that. And I'm driving home, and those
words just stayed with me. And I thought, wow,
you know, music was such an influence to us in
the 60s. Bob Dylan. We were on the eve of destruction.
Respect Aretha. When she sang, we sang louder.
We danced on vinyl to the Supremes. And so...
I thought, what would be my playlist now? What's
my playlist now that I'm in my 80s? What would
be my playlist for my celebration of life? And
so I started to think about the songs that I
wanted. What's your playlist? What songs would
influence you? And so those are some of the things
that are in my book. I also talk about why it's
important to write your own obituary. rather
than have somebody else write it and write it
with a sense of humor. Even Warren Buffett years
ago told his young kids to write their own obituary.
It is a writing exercise and it's something hopefully
you'll live up to. 87 % of obituaries are written
by a funeral home. Why would you want that? Wow,
that high. Wouldn't you want to write your own
obituary? or you know sometimes kids may not
remember everything about mom or dad so start
it for them have it in your papers so that it's
all handy for them and what a great idea i took
in the back of my book i put a list of all the
inventions that happened from 1946 to now that
we have had to adapt accept, embrace. I did a
whole list of what were all the radio shows,
old radio shows we listened to, what were all
the old television shows we we rushed home from
school to watch from the Mickey Mouse Club to
American Bandstand. And I did a one on old movies
that we went to. And then if you're so inclined,
and you still want to read a book, I provided
a list of some books that I recommended. And
I would expand the articles and then I submitted
my manuscript in September and my book came out
in January. Oh, congratulations. That's just
amazing. Oh, I love it. It sounds like a really
great read. What would you say is the most damaging
myth about getting older that you want to bust,
that you want to say, you know what, that's just
not right. What would you say that is? I would
say that, and when I talk to you a little bit
about ageism, I think the word retire is to me
a bad word because it means to go away. At 65
you retire and you go away. And the perception
that people have of older people from, in fact,
I have to be, you know, truthfully, my hardest
year and age that I ever had to accept was 80.
I looked forward to 16, driving, freedom. Yes.
I looked forward to 18. I lived in Wisconsin.
We could drink beer. I looked forward to 21.
I could throw away the fake ID card and now I
can walk into a bar by myself. And then you get
responsible, pay them all that stuff. 50 arrives.
Ah ha ha ha, you turned 50. AERP magazine shows
up in your mailbox. Then 65 arrives. Well, now
we can apply for Medicare. That's really good.
I like that I have Medicare. Then what? Then
comes 75. Wow. Three quarters of a century old.
And then I'm thinking 80. And what is the perception
of old? There's a book written by Louise Aronson
and it's called Elderhood. In her book, where
in the beginning she has make a column. In one
column write old. In any other column, write
elder. List all the words that come to mind when
you think of old. Frail, feeble, crippled, demented,
slow, humped over, slumped. Those are some harsh
words about being old. They are. Yeah. Then go
to elder. Fill in the words of what is an elder.
Wise, wisdom, accepting, intelligent, experienced.
Wow, how do we go from here to here? So once
I accepted that I'm an 80 elder, I became comfortable
with being old. But we need to change the perceptions.
Because today, 11 ,000 people are eligible at
65 to retire every day. Now they can choose to
retire because They want to, they have something
else to do, or they may have to work because
they didn't save enough money. And so we have
to think that if you're going to live from 65
to 90, that's a whole lifetime ahead of you.
And what can you do? Don't let, I don't like,
our check engine light is going to come on more
as we have gotten older. That's just going to
happen. But I don't like the word ageism. I don't
like how people talk about it. I don't like being
made a victim because somebody might say that,
you know, it's ageist, I lost my job. I don't
think we should be complaining. I think we need
to be examples of experience and wisdom to be
able to help others, be able to support or be
able to benefit from what we've learned along
the way. And I would say probably the hardest
thing. is changing the image of old. I'm 80.
Do I feel 80? I had a reporter call me. She asked
me a bunch of questions. And one of the questions
she asked, can I ask you another question? I
said, sure. She said, have you noticed any difference
about being 80? I thought, God, nobody's asked
me that. So I thought, well, yeah, I can tell
you. I can't put my jeans on standing up anymore.
When I put my underwear on, my little toe gets
caught in my underwear. This lip up here is starting
to sink inside my mouth now. I was once 5 '7",
I'm now 5 '5". My feet have gotten bigger, but
I don't even remember what 50 felt like, and
I don't feel any different now than I did at
50, other than some of these things have changed
in my body, but I've learned to live with them.
So oh gosh, what an amazing life that you have
and and I just love your spirit and your attitude
and your approach in this chapter And and it's
not been without hardships that we were talking
earlier. I mean you've had some Health challenges
some scary situations there and you've been able
to survive those and overcome Is there anything
that you would like to share with our audience
about just overcoming some of those difficult
times? So I had I was on vacation. I think this
would have been 2018 and I had vaginal bleeding
Not normal, so I went to see my doctor they did
a pap smear concluded that it was cancerous,
so I had to have a hysterectomy. And when you
have a hysterectomy, I don't know if this is
typical in all hospitals, but in mine, they have
an oncologist in the room, because that sections
are taken and sent to a lab, and that oncologist
is responsible, I guess, for determining. And
when I left the hospital, they said, everything
looks fine, everything looks good, and we'll
see you in two weeks just to check up. Well,
in about four days, I got a call. No woman. likes
to get a call from her oncologist. This is not
a good thing. And so when I went in, he told
me in his face, everything about him was different.
And he was very serious. And he said to me, I
had both a sarcoma and a carcinoma. I had a very,
very rare cancer called MMMT, which is a uterine
cancer, but it's very dangerous because the sarcoma
are little cancer cells that could go anywhere.
You can't see them. Wow. And he said the life
expectancy is three to five years. Wow. I left
his office. He was on the phone to the radiologist
and said, George, I want you to see a patient.
I want her to start chemo on Monday. And I'm
off to radiology. It was pouring rain and all
of this. I don't think it feels so good. I feel
so good, how can you tell me this? And I left
radiology, it was pouring rain. My car was parked
way back in the parking lot. And I sat in the
car and sobbed. Shut up. And then I turned the
windshield wipers on, wiped away both my tears
and the raindrops, and I figured I cannot have
a pity party. I have to be strong. I have to
follow the protocol. I have to trust the people
who have been put in charge of my health. And
I have to hope for the best. If it isn't the
best, well, I've had a great life. And so we
came home and I told my husband, we got all our
papers in order. We did all of this stuff. Two
years later, I get breast cancer and I had the
lump removed on both breasts. And they told me
I needed chemo. And I said, no way am I ever
having chemo again. And I had radiation. So I'm
seven years out with my rare cancer and I'm five
years out with my breast cancer. Now, how did
I make it? Angels and oxygen. I had so many angels
in my life. I was very transparent about it.
And I would post my experience on Facebook. I
heard from people, I had no idea how many lives
I've touched. And the people in the infusion
room could not have been better. So when my chemo
was over, I had an angels and oxygen party to
thank those who were there to lift me up when
I needed it most. Oh, that's great. Attitude
is a big thing. On the fifth year, I'm sitting
on the bed and my husband says, what are you
waiting for? Why aren't you getting dressed?
I said, I'm waiting. He said, what are you waiting
for? Five years. Today's my fifth year. I'm expecting.
I'm expecting some sort of calling. And he says,
get off your butt. It's not happening. And, you
know, so you go in first every six months, then
you get to the once a year while I'm on the once
a year time. And I'm grateful. I am living beyond
my expiration date and grateful for every day
that I am here. That's wonderful. Congratulations
and what you've been able to overcome and to
have the full purposeful healthy life today.
It's so amazing. Well, you've shared so many
good things with us. If our listeners want to
get in touch with you, what's a good way for
them to get in touch with you? They can reach,
they can go to our website www .myfuturepurpose
.com on that website is our store. You can order
my book, and I have to say if you order the book
from my website, it's a lot cheaper than going
to Amazon. Or they can email me at vicki at myfuturepurpose
.com. And I'd love to hear from your listeners
and people who may have eavesdropped on our conversation
today. Oh, wonderful. So wonderful. Thank you
so much. I am so glad that our paths crossed.
We didn't say this at the beginning, but it was
really kind of a coincidence that we just happened
to be in the same place at the same time when
you were visiting Naples. So it's just just been
a joy to have you today. So thank you, Vicki.
And I wish you continued success and all the
best in the coming years. Thank you. And thank
you for having me. I appreciate it. And it was
a pleasure. Thanks so much for joining me today
on her comeback. I hope this conversation inspired
you to keep moving forward no matter where you
are in your own journey. If you love this episode,
I'd be so grateful if you would subscribe to
the show on my YouTube channel, Michelle Thompson
dash life coaching. Go there for more encouragement,
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are rewriting their stories. Remember, your setback
isn't your final chapter. It's just the setup
for your greatest comeback yet. I'll see you
next time. Until then.