Welcome to her comeback, transforming your life
after 50. I'm your host, Michelle Thompson. If
you've ever whispered to yourself, There has
to be more than this. You are in the right place.
This show is for women over 50 who have hit their
breaking point and are finally ready to stop
going at it alone. You've tried the self -help
books, the vision boards, the positive thinking,
but you're still stuck. And here's what I know.
You're not broken. You just need the right support.
And that's exactly what you're going to find
here. Each week, I'll sit down with incredible
women who have transformed their lives. You'll
hear their real stories, the messy middle, the
breakthrough moments, the practical steps that
they took to create the lives that they love.
Because your lowest limit, it can be your launching
pad. So if you're done settling and ready for
your comeback, Stay with me. Let's discover how
other women have made it happen and how you can
too. Are you ready? This is her comeback. Good
day everyone. Welcome to her comeback. I am so
Happy to have Jen Anderson with me today. Oh,
Jen is wonderful. She has been my mentor, my
coach. She was the person who gave me my initial
training when I started my certification program.
So it's just a joy that she could join me on
my podcast today. Jen, welcome. Well, thank you.
And I'm really thrilled to be here. Misha, as
you know, you're one of my favorite people and
it's great to be here in this new way. New adventure
for us. Yes, thank you. Thank you for so much
for your time and support. Maybe could you tell
the audience a little bit about yourself? Just
who you are and what you do. That'd be great.
Sure. Well, let's see. Just kind of basics. I
live just outside of Portland, Oregon in a little
town called Tiger and I live with my family,
my daughter and her son, my grandson, which is
big fun. And then my son lives in downtown Portland
with his. husband. And let's see, I've been coaching
since 1998. I can hardly believe it, but there
you go. And mostly what I've done as a coach
is career change. So I'm a career change expert.
And I wrote a book, which I think we're going
to talk about called Plant Yourself Where You
Will Bloom, how to turn what makes you unique
into a meaningful and lucrative career. I have
a sweetheart who lives not too far from here,
a couple of hours. And let's see, what would
be one last fun thing? I'm highly intuitive.
And so a new thing I'm offering the world is
intuitive readings, which are really great for
small business owners, people in relationships
where they're looking for understanding their
inner voice. So yeah, that's a little bit about
me. I love that and I love just in the time that
I've known you, you're always growing and in
terms of different skill sets, different trying
different things, whether from teaching to coaching
to, you know, now you're doing the intuitive
board session. I mean, it's just always always
something special with you. So I think that that's
just great. I love it. So, Jen, you mentioned
segue into your book. What is the inspiration
for you becoming an author and then this book
in particular? Well, to become an author, that
was a bucket list thing. And it really started
when I was very young and my second grade teacher
said, Jenny is a great writer. She told my parents
that. And so it was always in my mind that I
was going to be a writer. And I graduated with
a journalism degree and then couldn't find a
job. And so my career took off in a really different
direction than I expected. So the book and writing
the book was something that I always knew I was
going to do. And there's more that I'll do. And
it's based on the work that I'd done as a career
coach for 15 years at that point in a series
of classes that I taught at our local community
college. So it just all came together as really
this just beautiful culmination of a lot of important
things in my life. I know a little bit about
some of your career paths to that at one time
you did have that corporate job and so you left
the corporate job and started out on your own.
What was that turning point for you? Like what?
What made you do it? Oh yeah, I actually talk
about this in my book and there was a moment.
where, well, I knew very quickly that I was on
the wrong career path. I just couldn't find the
kind of success that I really hoped for for myself.
And just, it was really difficult for me. I was
in high tech sales and marketing and I had lost
a job and I took a little bit of time off and
the only jobs that were coming to me were in
the same pathway, right? High tech sales. And
I found myself really what I call it in a moment
of where I was keening. And keening is this kind
of like when you're grieving and you're moaning
and things are really sad for you. And I realized
that that's what I was doing, that I was gonna
have to take this job that I knew wasn't gonna
be right for me. And I was having that deep grieving
before I even took the job. And I knew I had
to commit to finding my pathway. And so I hired
someone. to support me in that effort. And that
really was the turning point. She looked at me
and she said, I think you want to be me. I laughed
and I said, I think I want to be you too. I want
to help people change their careers. So that
really was the thing that happened. The pivotal
moments, I think that led me to where I am now.
Wow. That's great. Wonderful. Wonderful. So let's
talk a little bit about Your comeback, the audience
is women over 50. As a woman in my 50s myself,
we have our experience of things we've done all
the years earlier. And I feel like we tend to
stay loyal. There's maybe a sense of loyalty
that we'll continue to do things that we've always
done for whatever reason that might be. There's
a price for staying too long. Ray, what is your
experience in that space? Yeah. Well, I did stay
in a marriage way too long out of a sense of
loyalty. I've stayed in jobs too long out of
a sense of loyalty. Just situations that really
should have transitioned sooner where I could
have made a choice when I saw the signs that
it wasn't going to work out. And what always
seems to happen is that then when they have an
ending and a lot of times have kind of an abrupt
ending, right? It's like, whoa, it's almost like,
you know, this just got taken away from me and
I wasn't expecting it wasn't on my timetable.
So I started thinking about that. As a coach,
I often help people with transitions. And one
time a student said to me, people will only make
a change when something dramatic happens. And,
and I thought to myself, is that true? Do we
have to wait for that dramatic thing to happen
to make us want to change? Or can we start inviting
even those changes and bring them about and kind
of set the stage for them. And so that's what
I would say has been the biggest kind of learning
and growth point for me along this journey of
not staying in situations too long out of loyalty
and unmet expectations that I'm still hoping
will be met. I started looking and saying, OK,
well, I know this part of my life isn't quite
feeling right. I'm going to invite the change.
I'm going to invite the growth. There's just
that moment. for me where I see it, I almost
hear it and feel it, that it's time to invite
that change versus sit and wait for something
to be like taken away from me. What was one of
the most notable times when this happened to
you? Well, let's see. So, for example, staying
in that marriage, it was, you know, we were together
27 years, over 23 of us was married and and I'd
known for so long that this it just wasn't going
to work out and it was a combination of factors.
There was a moment where where I really just
realized okay I can't do this anymore. That was
kind of nice because it really was it wasn't
an abrupt like somebody took something away from
me moment it was more of a okay it's time and
I'm gonna do this and I you know I set the goal
of doing it in a way that honored me that honored
him, although I don't know that he would necessarily
feel that way, but you can't control that. But
I really looked at it as a growth opportunity.
And who do I want to be in the midst of this
big change and making this choice for myself?
And it wasn't easy, but I felt like I was more
awake and aware, making conscious choices instead
of reacting to things. And so now that's what
I do, you know, from this, from that point in
the journey. So things like choosing to get healthy
again, you know, weight loss and which is like
step by step little changes that I'm inviting
the opportunity to grow in that way. And just
basically it ended up over several years, but
really being almost a better reinvention of myself,
more like a coming home to myself. Okay, I love
that and I think a lot of women do that. My own
personal experience, we spend so much of our
time when our kids are young, we become what
we need to be for our kids and there's a spouse
involved, other people, other members in the
family and then somehow in all of that. that's
losing ourself. I know, for me, it's certainly
my 50s has been a time of coming back to myself,
of coming back to who I am, what I want to bring
into my life. What do you actually experience
in those moments where you can't continue on
the current path? Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm going
to go to my intuition and my intuition kind of
coming through and saying, You know, first I
think it comes through like a little tap on the
shoulder in a sense. Then if I'm not, if I don't
pay attention to it, it gets a little louder.
Eventually it starts yelling, yelling in your
ear, I think. And so, so now what I try to do
is I try to listen to a little or pay attention
to the little tap on the shoulder. But for me,
sometimes the way I describe it is there's just
this inner click, almost like you're doing the
combination on a lock. and you get the numbers
in the right place and then you pop it down and
it kind of goes you know it clicks and so that's
what I try to do is I try to get the right combination
by listening to my intuition by making really
smart choices and and that serves me day in and
day out because I kind of do that daily at this
point if something's not feeling right I kind
of pause and think okay what's going on here
and what do I need to do differently right how
can I be different in this moment sounds it sounds
like you're describing like a gut check like
what is it that feeling I get in my gut am I
listening to that and paying attention to that
moment what it's really trying to say right what's
my real opportunity here yes right how may I've
been interpreting something in a way that isn't
quite right and what's another way I can look
at it right so um yeah it's it's interesting
because it just feels like I'm back in charge
of my life in many ways. And you can't control
the things that happen to you. So you can't really
be in control, but you can be in charge of yourself
and your reaction to what's happening around
you. And that's empowering when you really realize
that. And I think that's what you've been really
representing in everything that you've been doing,
you know, with this podcast that we have the
opportunity to have our own comeback and to design
it and really be in charge of our experience
of things. Right? It's that moment that we know
we are completely powerless over other people,
situations, all of those things. When we accept
that, it's an empowerment for ourselves because
we can control our actions. We can take steps
for ourselves and do those things that we need
to do. I totally get that. It is a moment of
empowerment. And we can invite other people to
come along with us, but it's up to them whether
or not they want to. And sometimes it means letting
go of people who need to be on a different path.
Right. And that can be hard because when you
grow, sometimes the people around you aren't
ready to. And so it is that moment of kind of
letting them go. And that's that's another thing,
taking it back to that sense of being too loyal
for too long. And there's a price you pay when
you try to hold people who aren't aren't ready
to be where you are. Yeah, it slows everything
down and it doesn't really honor them either.
I understand it when we feel that feeling to
do that. I've heard it described in the past
as like some relationships have expiration dates,
right? And then we hold on to something long
past that expiration date and we run into difficulties,
challenges. That's it, yeah. First actions you
take in that moment that you know, it's time
to make a change. Like when we're talking about
feeling in your gut, that intuition that you
get, I got to make the change. What are those
first actions? What does that look like? Well,
you've talked about the first one, which is to
go inside, right? And so I've really worked one
of the things that's been a big part of my comeback
is to really own my spiritual nature, my truth.
So I have spiritual practices that I really do
use. Just I have my regular rituals during, you
know, through the day. But in those times where
I'm getting that nudge that I need to make a
change, you know, consult that intuition and
say, okay, what is the change? What's really
happening here? And then I look for external
support. So first it's internal, then I go external.
And I really benefit from connecting with other
people on a lot of different things. And sometimes
I'll go find. a community of other people who
are in kind of my similar situation or I'll look
for a community where people are gathered but
they're working on all kinds of different things
and so the idea is just we're supporting each
other with whatever we're up to and I'm in one
of those communities right now that really supports
me in continuing to take positive steps forward
right so that's also part of that external is
If you want to see real growth, real change,
you have to be willing to take steps. And they
hold me accountable to that. And it's really,
really helpful. I think that sense of connection
that you're describing there is so key because
I think when left alone, and I can speak for
myself, left alone to my own devices, if I kind
of stay in my own isolation, the things that
can come about just typically aren't that good.
Make that connection like what you're talking
about with others and they're like that good
idea filter Oh, I have this idea. What do you
think? You know, and you kind of get those different
perspectives and It's huge. I think also it's
that sense of not being alone That whatever it
is you're going through. It's you're not alone
us and I think that that is also key for healing
and for a lot of things really you're making
changes in your life. I agree. And then, you
know, of course, I'm a life coach. I'm actually
a master certified coach with the International
Coaching Federation. So I've been doing this
a long time and I've supported a lot of people.
And so sometimes having that one on one connection
to a life coach is really actually different
than those other kind of communities that I mentioned
because your life coach has absolutely nothing
invested in your choices. They are all about
you feeling empowered to make your own choices
and to choose your path forward and having that
really neutral person who just believes in you
and is encouraging you and just accepts that
your truth is the right path. That's incredibly
valuable and I've had so many coaches over the
years. And most of the time I have a coach of
some kind. It's just something that when you
realize that it works for you, you keep doing
what works for you, right? Right, that's right.
The other thing about a coach, they understand,
they get it when you're trying, but you keep
running into an obstacle or there's something
there that's holding you back. They see you in
that process and they're there to give you that
hand to say, hey, let's dig a little deeper.
Let's see what we can do to look inside to see
what needs to shift here. So just critical in
being able to move and grow. So I know as you
mentioned you've been coaching for a long time.
I know you through the years coached a lot of
women Is there a common thread that you can see
as you talk to women and then maybe they want
to make changes But they're not sure what to
do or maybe they're just the fear or is there
something that you see? That's a common thread
with women Absolutely. So the common thread is
confidence That's the number one word that I
hear. I need to be more confident if I were more
confident. And the thing that I think I've really
supported people with is finding that the way,
finding their pathway to believing in themselves,
to really knowing that, yeah, this might be hard.
It might be a really big stretch. It might seem
to other people even like it's a small stretch,
but to you, it's a big stretch, right? But to
know, to know that you can do it. And if there's
something that's calling to you, that's tugging
at your heart, the reason it's tugging at you
is because you're meant to do it and you are
capable of doing it. Maybe you need to learn
some things externally, go get some more information,
some skills, whatever it might be, but that internal,
who you are, who you know yourself to be is what
will help you believe enough to keep going. And
a lot of times, and I will tell you this, A lot
of times it's just about keep going. And you
know, that's because I tell you there's a lot.
You just it's like, OK, you got to look for those
signs that things are working. Right. And then
when you see those signs of the way you got to
keep going, even though sometimes you're looking
around like, where are those signs? That's right.
Just don't give up. Never give up. Other advice
you would give to a woman today that's saying,
OK, I've heard you, Jen, and I'm ready to do
something today. Anything that you would tell
that person? Small steps really do add up. I,
in my younger years, was very much about big,
dramatic, you know, okay, the diet starts on
Monday, and I'm going to be perfect at it, and
I'm finally going to get that weight off. And
maybe there are some people for whom that approach
consistently works. But what I found is that
little bit over time really does add up. So with
that change, what I've really noticed is when
things don't quite go the way you wish they would,
you're more resilient and you say, okay, all
right, that didn't work or that didn't go the
way I want it to. But I can get back up and I
can keep going. I can take one more step. It's
just consistency and little bit by little bit.
It really does add up. And then all of a sudden
you start having these periods of time where
it's like, whoa, it happened really fast. Then
there's this big leap and you're like, oh, that
was cool. And oh my gosh, now I'm scared. That's
where it helps to have somebody to talk about
it with, right? Because we wish there's this
meme that you've probably seen where we wish
the growth was always like this. right just this
smooth steady pace but it's really like this
right yes it's so true it's so true it's something
i think you and i have talked about before is
that transformation happens that one small step
at a time like you're saying it's not these big
boom i'm gonna go quit my job today and i'm gonna
go buy a new house and For me, it's easy to think
in these big sweeping changes, but it doesn't
have to be like that. It can just be the very
small shifts that we can make to begin the journey
in the way that we want to go. Absolutely. Well,
Jen, tell us a little bit more about the intuitive
sounding board sessions that you mentioned at
the top. Tell us about that. Well, I'm very excited
about it. And this is one of those things that
tapped me on the shoulder a couple of years ago.
And I've just taken teeny tiny baby steps forward.
Right. And I actually committed to one of my
coaches. She said, now, if you're going to go
off and do this big thing that you got hired
to do, you have to also keep going forward. She
said, because you said you want to be doing these
things. So I was like, OK. But now I'm really
getting the message. It's time. It's time. And
so the intuitive sounding board sessions, they're
different than coaching. There's something that
I see complements coaching. So you keep working
with your regular coach. But people come to me
and they have a question and they need to either
hear an intuitive answer to it or they have an
idea about something. and they want to run it
past somebody who, again, is going to be neutral,
isn't going to have an opinion about whether
they should do it, but can bring in that voice
of intuition to share, you know, accessing kind
of different information about it. So I can do
it with the intuition or I can listen without
the intuition. And then it just becomes me really
focusing in and listening to the person as they're
talking about something. And I'll say, OK, well,
your voice just quivered a bit as you said that,
or, oh, you stumbled over those words, or you
were really hesitant to share that, right? And
so we build on kind of me noticing those things
until they get to a point of clarity. And that's
the whole point of the sounding board sessions
is to get to that point of clarity, whatever
the question is, whatever the idea is. Okay,
now you've got that clarity. So what do you want
to do? What's a first step that you can take?
and that will be meaningful. And so, yeah, so
I'm very excited about these. I've done them
kind of informally, like this just kind of happens
and that's how you know something's right for
you when it just sort of happens. But I've also
done it intentionally within coaching sessions
and people say it's one of the most valuable
aspects of working with me. Wow, that's so awesome.
I love it. Well, Jen, you are amazing. Just I
clicked with you as soon as I met you and you've
just been so important and instrumental to me
on my journey with life coaching and starting
my own business. So it's just really an honor
that you would join me today and share some ideas
and some things my audience. So thank you again.
Now, if someone wants to get in touch with you,
what's the best way to get in touch with you.
Best way to get in touch is just through my email,
because again, I'm tiptoeing into this and I
don't have my website set up yet for it. But
if you're interested, if you want to know more
about these intuitive sounding board sessions,
or if there's something I shared and you want
to tuck it over, it's coachjen, C -O -A -C -H
-J -E -N at jenniferanderson .com. And that's
J -E -N -N -I -F -E -R -A -N -D -E -R -F -O -N
.com. It's a long email. Thank you so much. Well,
again, really appreciate your time, Jen. Thank
you. And I wish you continued success in everything
that you do. Well, you too. Thank you. Thank
you so much for spending time with me today.
I am truly grateful that you chose to listen
in and I hope that this conversation sparked
something meaningful for you. Please take a moment
to subscribe, leave a review. It helps other
women to find us who need to hear these stories
too. And if you know someone who is ready for
their own comeback, share this episode with them.
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