WEBVTT 00:00:10.660 --> 00:00:13.660 Welcome to her comeback, transforming your life 00:00:13.660 --> 00:00:16.519 after 50. I'm your host, Michelle Thompson. If 00:00:16.519 --> 00:00:19.379 you've ever whispered to yourself, There has 00:00:19.379 --> 00:00:22.420 to be more than this. You are in the right place. 00:00:22.719 --> 00:00:25.219 This show is for women over 50 who have hit their 00:00:25.219 --> 00:00:27.600 breaking point and are finally ready to stop 00:00:27.600 --> 00:00:30.539 going at it alone. You've tried the self -help 00:00:30.539 --> 00:00:33.659 books, the vision boards, the positive thinking, 00:00:34.039 --> 00:00:36.780 but you're still stuck. And here's what I know. 00:00:37.219 --> 00:00:40.640 You're not broken. You just need the right support. 00:00:40.780 --> 00:00:42.619 And that's exactly what you're going to find 00:00:42.619 --> 00:00:45.719 here. Each week, I'll sit down with incredible 00:00:45.719 --> 00:00:48.479 women who have transformed their lives. You'll 00:00:48.479 --> 00:00:51.479 hear their real stories, the messy middle, the 00:00:51.479 --> 00:00:53.579 breakthrough moments, the practical steps that 00:00:53.579 --> 00:00:56.420 they took to create the lives that they love. 00:00:56.899 --> 00:01:00.259 Because your lowest limit, it can be your launching 00:01:00.259 --> 00:01:03.979 pad. So if you're done settling and ready for 00:01:03.979 --> 00:01:07.030 your comeback, Stay with me. Let's discover how 00:01:07.030 --> 00:01:09.890 other women have made it happen and how you can 00:01:09.890 --> 00:01:15.250 too. Are you ready? This is her comeback. Good 00:01:15.250 --> 00:01:19.390 day everyone. Welcome to her comeback. I am so 00:01:19.549 --> 00:01:24.290 Happy to have Jen Anderson with me today. Oh, 00:01:24.349 --> 00:01:28.390 Jen is wonderful. She has been my mentor, my 00:01:28.390 --> 00:01:31.489 coach. She was the person who gave me my initial 00:01:31.489 --> 00:01:34.430 training when I started my certification program. 00:01:34.629 --> 00:01:37.450 So it's just a joy that she could join me on 00:01:37.450 --> 00:01:41.530 my podcast today. Jen, welcome. Well, thank you. 00:01:41.530 --> 00:01:43.989 And I'm really thrilled to be here. Misha, as 00:01:43.989 --> 00:01:46.870 you know, you're one of my favorite people and 00:01:46.870 --> 00:01:49.980 it's great to be here in this new way. New adventure 00:01:49.980 --> 00:01:53.340 for us. Yes, thank you. Thank you for so much 00:01:53.340 --> 00:01:55.959 for your time and support. Maybe could you tell 00:01:55.959 --> 00:01:58.040 the audience a little bit about yourself? Just 00:01:58.040 --> 00:02:00.159 who you are and what you do. That'd be great. 00:02:00.599 --> 00:02:03.060 Sure. Well, let's see. Just kind of basics. I 00:02:03.060 --> 00:02:05.480 live just outside of Portland, Oregon in a little 00:02:05.480 --> 00:02:08.199 town called Tiger and I live with my family, 00:02:08.439 --> 00:02:11.060 my daughter and her son, my grandson, which is 00:02:11.060 --> 00:02:13.840 big fun. And then my son lives in downtown Portland 00:02:13.840 --> 00:02:17.490 with his. husband. And let's see, I've been coaching 00:02:17.490 --> 00:02:21.789 since 1998. I can hardly believe it, but there 00:02:21.789 --> 00:02:24.389 you go. And mostly what I've done as a coach 00:02:24.389 --> 00:02:27.710 is career change. So I'm a career change expert. 00:02:27.710 --> 00:02:29.069 And I wrote a book, which I think we're going 00:02:29.069 --> 00:02:31.009 to talk about called Plant Yourself Where You 00:02:31.009 --> 00:02:33.090 Will Bloom, how to turn what makes you unique 00:02:33.090 --> 00:02:36.150 into a meaningful and lucrative career. I have 00:02:36.150 --> 00:02:38.229 a sweetheart who lives not too far from here, 00:02:38.229 --> 00:02:40.590 a couple of hours. And let's see, what would 00:02:40.590 --> 00:02:43.629 be one last fun thing? I'm highly intuitive. 00:02:43.870 --> 00:02:46.110 And so a new thing I'm offering the world is 00:02:46.110 --> 00:02:48.550 intuitive readings, which are really great for 00:02:48.550 --> 00:02:51.349 small business owners, people in relationships 00:02:51.349 --> 00:02:53.689 where they're looking for understanding their 00:02:53.689 --> 00:02:56.449 inner voice. So yeah, that's a little bit about 00:02:56.449 --> 00:03:00.360 me. I love that and I love just in the time that 00:03:00.360 --> 00:03:03.340 I've known you, you're always growing and in 00:03:03.340 --> 00:03:06.219 terms of different skill sets, different trying 00:03:06.219 --> 00:03:08.879 different things, whether from teaching to coaching 00:03:08.879 --> 00:03:11.759 to, you know, now you're doing the intuitive 00:03:11.759 --> 00:03:14.199 board session. I mean, it's just always always 00:03:14.199 --> 00:03:16.580 something special with you. So I think that that's 00:03:16.580 --> 00:03:19.180 just great. I love it. So, Jen, you mentioned 00:03:19.180 --> 00:03:22.539 segue into your book. What is the inspiration 00:03:22.539 --> 00:03:25.360 for you becoming an author and then this book 00:03:25.360 --> 00:03:28.460 in particular? Well, to become an author, that 00:03:28.460 --> 00:03:30.500 was a bucket list thing. And it really started 00:03:30.500 --> 00:03:32.500 when I was very young and my second grade teacher 00:03:32.500 --> 00:03:36.080 said, Jenny is a great writer. She told my parents 00:03:36.080 --> 00:03:38.039 that. And so it was always in my mind that I 00:03:38.039 --> 00:03:40.520 was going to be a writer. And I graduated with 00:03:40.520 --> 00:03:42.680 a journalism degree and then couldn't find a 00:03:42.680 --> 00:03:45.639 job. And so my career took off in a really different 00:03:45.639 --> 00:03:49.139 direction than I expected. So the book and writing 00:03:49.139 --> 00:03:51.439 the book was something that I always knew I was 00:03:51.439 --> 00:03:54.099 going to do. And there's more that I'll do. And 00:03:54.099 --> 00:03:56.259 it's based on the work that I'd done as a career 00:03:56.259 --> 00:03:59.319 coach for 15 years at that point in a series 00:03:59.319 --> 00:04:02.240 of classes that I taught at our local community 00:04:02.240 --> 00:04:05.020 college. So it just all came together as really 00:04:05.020 --> 00:04:08.879 this just beautiful culmination of a lot of important 00:04:08.879 --> 00:04:12.710 things in my life. I know a little bit about 00:04:12.710 --> 00:04:15.150 some of your career paths to that at one time 00:04:15.150 --> 00:04:18.129 you did have that corporate job and so you left 00:04:18.129 --> 00:04:20.649 the corporate job and started out on your own. 00:04:20.970 --> 00:04:24.589 What was that turning point for you? Like what? 00:04:25.110 --> 00:04:27.750 What made you do it? Oh yeah, I actually talk 00:04:27.750 --> 00:04:31.829 about this in my book and there was a moment. 00:04:32.680 --> 00:04:35.680 where, well, I knew very quickly that I was on 00:04:35.680 --> 00:04:38.139 the wrong career path. I just couldn't find the 00:04:38.139 --> 00:04:41.180 kind of success that I really hoped for for myself. 00:04:41.319 --> 00:04:43.639 And just, it was really difficult for me. I was 00:04:43.639 --> 00:04:47.639 in high tech sales and marketing and I had lost 00:04:47.639 --> 00:04:52.360 a job and I took a little bit of time off and 00:04:52.360 --> 00:04:54.319 the only jobs that were coming to me were in 00:04:54.319 --> 00:04:58.639 the same pathway, right? High tech sales. And 00:04:58.639 --> 00:05:03.540 I found myself really what I call it in a moment 00:05:03.540 --> 00:05:06.100 of where I was keening. And keening is this kind 00:05:06.100 --> 00:05:08.540 of like when you're grieving and you're moaning 00:05:08.540 --> 00:05:12.879 and things are really sad for you. And I realized 00:05:12.879 --> 00:05:14.620 that that's what I was doing, that I was gonna 00:05:14.620 --> 00:05:16.579 have to take this job that I knew wasn't gonna 00:05:16.579 --> 00:05:20.459 be right for me. And I was having that deep grieving 00:05:20.459 --> 00:05:23.800 before I even took the job. And I knew I had 00:05:23.800 --> 00:05:29.079 to commit to finding my pathway. And so I hired 00:05:29.079 --> 00:05:32.139 someone. to support me in that effort. And that 00:05:32.139 --> 00:05:33.639 really was the turning point. She looked at me 00:05:33.639 --> 00:05:36.399 and she said, I think you want to be me. I laughed 00:05:36.399 --> 00:05:39.040 and I said, I think I want to be you too. I want 00:05:39.040 --> 00:05:42.019 to help people change their careers. So that 00:05:42.019 --> 00:05:44.040 really was the thing that happened. The pivotal 00:05:44.040 --> 00:05:46.959 moments, I think that led me to where I am now. 00:05:47.860 --> 00:05:52.139 Wow. That's great. Wonderful. Wonderful. So let's 00:05:52.139 --> 00:05:56.680 talk a little bit about Your comeback, the audience 00:05:56.680 --> 00:06:01.160 is women over 50. As a woman in my 50s myself, 00:06:01.220 --> 00:06:04.279 we have our experience of things we've done all 00:06:04.279 --> 00:06:07.439 the years earlier. And I feel like we tend to 00:06:07.439 --> 00:06:10.100 stay loyal. There's maybe a sense of loyalty 00:06:10.100 --> 00:06:13.060 that we'll continue to do things that we've always 00:06:13.060 --> 00:06:16.360 done for whatever reason that might be. There's 00:06:16.360 --> 00:06:20.139 a price for staying too long. Ray, what is your 00:06:20.139 --> 00:06:24.250 experience in that space? Yeah. Well, I did stay 00:06:24.250 --> 00:06:28.370 in a marriage way too long out of a sense of 00:06:28.370 --> 00:06:31.810 loyalty. I've stayed in jobs too long out of 00:06:31.810 --> 00:06:35.310 a sense of loyalty. Just situations that really 00:06:35.310 --> 00:06:37.410 should have transitioned sooner where I could 00:06:37.410 --> 00:06:40.490 have made a choice when I saw the signs that 00:06:40.490 --> 00:06:43.509 it wasn't going to work out. And what always 00:06:43.509 --> 00:06:45.990 seems to happen is that then when they have an 00:06:45.990 --> 00:06:47.970 ending and a lot of times have kind of an abrupt 00:06:48.220 --> 00:06:51.040 ending, right? It's like, whoa, it's almost like, 00:06:51.040 --> 00:06:52.959 you know, this just got taken away from me and 00:06:52.959 --> 00:06:55.879 I wasn't expecting it wasn't on my timetable. 00:06:56.339 --> 00:06:58.860 So I started thinking about that. As a coach, 00:06:58.860 --> 00:07:02.180 I often help people with transitions. And one 00:07:02.180 --> 00:07:05.560 time a student said to me, people will only make 00:07:05.560 --> 00:07:09.620 a change when something dramatic happens. And, 00:07:09.660 --> 00:07:11.360 and I thought to myself, is that true? Do we 00:07:11.360 --> 00:07:14.120 have to wait for that dramatic thing to happen 00:07:14.120 --> 00:07:17.379 to make us want to change? Or can we start inviting 00:07:17.379 --> 00:07:21.120 even those changes and bring them about and kind 00:07:21.120 --> 00:07:24.959 of set the stage for them. And so that's what 00:07:24.959 --> 00:07:27.399 I would say has been the biggest kind of learning 00:07:27.399 --> 00:07:30.420 and growth point for me along this journey of 00:07:30.420 --> 00:07:33.779 not staying in situations too long out of loyalty 00:07:33.779 --> 00:07:36.519 and unmet expectations that I'm still hoping 00:07:36.519 --> 00:07:39.000 will be met. I started looking and saying, OK, 00:07:39.040 --> 00:07:41.079 well, I know this part of my life isn't quite 00:07:41.079 --> 00:07:43.319 feeling right. I'm going to invite the change. 00:07:43.379 --> 00:07:45.620 I'm going to invite the growth. There's just 00:07:45.620 --> 00:07:49.550 that moment. for me where I see it, I almost 00:07:49.550 --> 00:07:52.790 hear it and feel it, that it's time to invite 00:07:52.790 --> 00:07:54.949 that change versus sit and wait for something 00:07:54.949 --> 00:07:59.430 to be like taken away from me. What was one of 00:07:59.430 --> 00:08:02.089 the most notable times when this happened to 00:08:02.089 --> 00:08:07.149 you? Well, let's see. So, for example, staying 00:08:07.149 --> 00:08:09.129 in that marriage, it was, you know, we were together 00:08:09.129 --> 00:08:14.019 27 years, over 23 of us was married and and I'd 00:08:14.019 --> 00:08:16.079 known for so long that this it just wasn't going 00:08:16.079 --> 00:08:18.399 to work out and it was a combination of factors. 00:08:18.779 --> 00:08:21.459 There was a moment where where I really just 00:08:21.459 --> 00:08:25.579 realized okay I can't do this anymore. That was 00:08:25.579 --> 00:08:29.100 kind of nice because it really was it wasn't 00:08:29.100 --> 00:08:31.579 an abrupt like somebody took something away from 00:08:31.579 --> 00:08:35.000 me moment it was more of a okay it's time and 00:08:35.000 --> 00:08:37.600 I'm gonna do this and I you know I set the goal 00:08:37.600 --> 00:08:40.490 of doing it in a way that honored me that honored 00:08:40.490 --> 00:08:42.750 him, although I don't know that he would necessarily 00:08:42.750 --> 00:08:45.549 feel that way, but you can't control that. But 00:08:45.549 --> 00:08:47.529 I really looked at it as a growth opportunity. 00:08:48.129 --> 00:08:51.289 And who do I want to be in the midst of this 00:08:51.289 --> 00:08:53.490 big change and making this choice for myself? 00:08:53.490 --> 00:08:56.669 And it wasn't easy, but I felt like I was more 00:08:56.669 --> 00:09:00.629 awake and aware, making conscious choices instead 00:09:00.629 --> 00:09:04.710 of reacting to things. And so now that's what 00:09:04.710 --> 00:09:06.750 I do, you know, from this, from that point in 00:09:06.750 --> 00:09:10.480 the journey. So things like choosing to get healthy 00:09:10.480 --> 00:09:13.840 again, you know, weight loss and which is like 00:09:13.840 --> 00:09:16.519 step by step little changes that I'm inviting 00:09:16.519 --> 00:09:19.500 the opportunity to grow in that way. And just 00:09:19.500 --> 00:09:22.299 basically it ended up over several years, but 00:09:22.299 --> 00:09:24.679 really being almost a better reinvention of myself, 00:09:24.899 --> 00:09:29.860 more like a coming home to myself. Okay, I love 00:09:29.860 --> 00:09:33.419 that and I think a lot of women do that. My own 00:09:33.419 --> 00:09:35.940 personal experience, we spend so much of our 00:09:35.940 --> 00:09:39.500 time when our kids are young, we become what 00:09:39.500 --> 00:09:42.500 we need to be for our kids and there's a spouse 00:09:42.500 --> 00:09:44.740 involved, other people, other members in the 00:09:44.740 --> 00:09:48.840 family and then somehow in all of that. that's 00:09:48.840 --> 00:09:52.379 losing ourself. I know, for me, it's certainly 00:09:52.379 --> 00:09:55.100 my 50s has been a time of coming back to myself, 00:09:55.220 --> 00:09:58.100 of coming back to who I am, what I want to bring 00:09:58.100 --> 00:10:00.559 into my life. What do you actually experience 00:10:00.559 --> 00:10:03.440 in those moments where you can't continue on 00:10:03.440 --> 00:10:07.779 the current path? Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm going 00:10:07.779 --> 00:10:11.879 to go to my intuition and my intuition kind of 00:10:11.879 --> 00:10:15.169 coming through and saying, You know, first I 00:10:15.169 --> 00:10:16.789 think it comes through like a little tap on the 00:10:16.789 --> 00:10:19.809 shoulder in a sense. Then if I'm not, if I don't 00:10:19.809 --> 00:10:21.450 pay attention to it, it gets a little louder. 00:10:22.690 --> 00:10:25.889 Eventually it starts yelling, yelling in your 00:10:25.889 --> 00:10:29.470 ear, I think. And so, so now what I try to do 00:10:29.470 --> 00:10:31.590 is I try to listen to a little or pay attention 00:10:31.590 --> 00:10:33.669 to the little tap on the shoulder. But for me, 00:10:33.809 --> 00:10:35.610 sometimes the way I describe it is there's just 00:10:35.610 --> 00:10:38.070 this inner click, almost like you're doing the 00:10:38.070 --> 00:10:40.340 combination on a lock. and you get the numbers 00:10:40.340 --> 00:10:42.639 in the right place and then you pop it down and 00:10:42.639 --> 00:10:45.340 it kind of goes you know it clicks and so that's 00:10:45.340 --> 00:10:47.600 what I try to do is I try to get the right combination 00:10:47.600 --> 00:10:49.860 by listening to my intuition by making really 00:10:49.860 --> 00:10:54.279 smart choices and and that serves me day in and 00:10:54.279 --> 00:10:57.080 day out because I kind of do that daily at this 00:10:57.080 --> 00:11:00.059 point if something's not feeling right I kind 00:11:00.059 --> 00:11:02.919 of pause and think okay what's going on here 00:11:02.919 --> 00:11:05.720 and what do I need to do differently right how 00:11:05.720 --> 00:11:09.460 can I be different in this moment sounds it sounds 00:11:09.460 --> 00:11:11.600 like you're describing like a gut check like 00:11:11.600 --> 00:11:14.399 what is it that feeling I get in my gut am I 00:11:14.399 --> 00:11:17.480 listening to that and paying attention to that 00:11:17.480 --> 00:11:20.179 moment what it's really trying to say right what's 00:11:20.179 --> 00:11:23.840 my real opportunity here yes right how may I've 00:11:23.840 --> 00:11:26.460 been interpreting something in a way that isn't 00:11:26.460 --> 00:11:28.580 quite right and what's another way I can look 00:11:28.580 --> 00:11:33.279 at it right so um yeah it's it's interesting 00:11:33.279 --> 00:11:36.539 because it just feels like I'm back in charge 00:11:37.139 --> 00:11:39.960 of my life in many ways. And you can't control 00:11:39.960 --> 00:11:42.279 the things that happen to you. So you can't really 00:11:42.279 --> 00:11:44.740 be in control, but you can be in charge of yourself 00:11:44.740 --> 00:11:47.759 and your reaction to what's happening around 00:11:47.759 --> 00:11:50.679 you. And that's empowering when you really realize 00:11:50.679 --> 00:11:53.820 that. And I think that's what you've been really 00:11:53.820 --> 00:11:55.779 representing in everything that you've been doing, 00:11:55.820 --> 00:11:58.179 you know, with this podcast that we have the 00:11:58.179 --> 00:12:01.059 opportunity to have our own comeback and to design 00:12:01.059 --> 00:12:03.840 it and really be in charge of our experience 00:12:03.840 --> 00:12:07.820 of things. Right? It's that moment that we know 00:12:07.820 --> 00:12:10.899 we are completely powerless over other people, 00:12:11.899 --> 00:12:15.200 situations, all of those things. When we accept 00:12:15.200 --> 00:12:18.840 that, it's an empowerment for ourselves because 00:12:18.840 --> 00:12:22.860 we can control our actions. We can take steps 00:12:22.860 --> 00:12:26.360 for ourselves and do those things that we need 00:12:26.360 --> 00:12:29.919 to do. I totally get that. It is a moment of 00:12:29.919 --> 00:12:32.549 empowerment. And we can invite other people to 00:12:32.549 --> 00:12:34.210 come along with us, but it's up to them whether 00:12:34.210 --> 00:12:36.429 or not they want to. And sometimes it means letting 00:12:36.429 --> 00:12:39.210 go of people who need to be on a different path. 00:12:39.549 --> 00:12:41.590 Right. And that can be hard because when you 00:12:41.590 --> 00:12:43.669 grow, sometimes the people around you aren't 00:12:43.669 --> 00:12:47.149 ready to. And so it is that moment of kind of 00:12:47.149 --> 00:12:48.909 letting them go. And that's that's another thing, 00:12:48.909 --> 00:12:51.009 taking it back to that sense of being too loyal 00:12:51.009 --> 00:12:53.870 for too long. And there's a price you pay when 00:12:53.870 --> 00:12:56.389 you try to hold people who aren't aren't ready 00:12:56.389 --> 00:12:59.429 to be where you are. Yeah, it slows everything 00:12:59.429 --> 00:13:01.889 down and it doesn't really honor them either. 00:13:02.389 --> 00:13:05.029 I understand it when we feel that feeling to 00:13:05.029 --> 00:13:08.710 do that. I've heard it described in the past 00:13:08.710 --> 00:13:11.730 as like some relationships have expiration dates, 00:13:11.769 --> 00:13:14.850 right? And then we hold on to something long 00:13:14.850 --> 00:13:19.710 past that expiration date and we run into difficulties, 00:13:20.490 --> 00:13:26.139 challenges. That's it, yeah. First actions you 00:13:26.139 --> 00:13:28.600 take in that moment that you know, it's time 00:13:28.600 --> 00:13:31.019 to make a change. Like when we're talking about 00:13:31.019 --> 00:13:33.840 feeling in your gut, that intuition that you 00:13:33.840 --> 00:13:36.480 get, I got to make the change. What are those 00:13:36.480 --> 00:13:39.639 first actions? What does that look like? Well, 00:13:39.700 --> 00:13:41.139 you've talked about the first one, which is to 00:13:41.139 --> 00:13:45.279 go inside, right? And so I've really worked one 00:13:45.279 --> 00:13:47.379 of the things that's been a big part of my comeback 00:13:47.379 --> 00:13:51.000 is to really own my spiritual nature, my truth. 00:13:51.919 --> 00:13:55.279 So I have spiritual practices that I really do 00:13:55.279 --> 00:13:58.700 use. Just I have my regular rituals during, you 00:13:58.700 --> 00:14:01.120 know, through the day. But in those times where 00:14:01.120 --> 00:14:03.059 I'm getting that nudge that I need to make a 00:14:03.059 --> 00:14:05.379 change, you know, consult that intuition and 00:14:05.379 --> 00:14:07.399 say, okay, what is the change? What's really 00:14:07.399 --> 00:14:10.179 happening here? And then I look for external 00:14:10.179 --> 00:14:13.340 support. So first it's internal, then I go external. 00:14:13.419 --> 00:14:16.120 And I really benefit from connecting with other 00:14:16.120 --> 00:14:18.899 people on a lot of different things. And sometimes 00:14:18.899 --> 00:14:21.929 I'll go find. a community of other people who 00:14:21.929 --> 00:14:25.450 are in kind of my similar situation or I'll look 00:14:25.450 --> 00:14:28.129 for a community where people are gathered but 00:14:28.129 --> 00:14:30.490 they're working on all kinds of different things 00:14:30.490 --> 00:14:32.669 and so the idea is just we're supporting each 00:14:32.669 --> 00:14:36.190 other with whatever we're up to and I'm in one 00:14:36.190 --> 00:14:39.470 of those communities right now that really supports 00:14:39.470 --> 00:14:43.409 me in continuing to take positive steps forward 00:14:43.409 --> 00:14:46.649 right so that's also part of that external is 00:14:46.879 --> 00:14:50.159 If you want to see real growth, real change, 00:14:50.279 --> 00:14:53.320 you have to be willing to take steps. And they 00:14:53.320 --> 00:14:55.340 hold me accountable to that. And it's really, 00:14:55.340 --> 00:15:00.549 really helpful. I think that sense of connection 00:15:00.549 --> 00:15:03.389 that you're describing there is so key because 00:15:03.389 --> 00:15:06.610 I think when left alone, and I can speak for 00:15:06.610 --> 00:15:09.629 myself, left alone to my own devices, if I kind 00:15:09.629 --> 00:15:13.330 of stay in my own isolation, the things that 00:15:13.330 --> 00:15:16.269 can come about just typically aren't that good. 00:15:18.919 --> 00:15:21.620 Make that connection like what you're talking 00:15:21.620 --> 00:15:25.419 about with others and they're like that good 00:15:25.419 --> 00:15:28.519 idea filter Oh, I have this idea. What do you 00:15:28.519 --> 00:15:31.379 think? You know, and you kind of get those different 00:15:31.379 --> 00:15:36.259 perspectives and It's huge. I think also it's 00:15:36.259 --> 00:15:39.659 that sense of not being alone That whatever it 00:15:39.659 --> 00:15:42.340 is you're going through. It's you're not alone 00:15:42.340 --> 00:15:46.860 us and I think that that is also key for healing 00:15:46.860 --> 00:15:51.179 and for a lot of things really you're making 00:15:51.179 --> 00:15:54.740 changes in your life. I agree. And then, you 00:15:54.740 --> 00:15:57.639 know, of course, I'm a life coach. I'm actually 00:15:57.639 --> 00:15:59.580 a master certified coach with the International 00:15:59.580 --> 00:16:01.240 Coaching Federation. So I've been doing this 00:16:01.240 --> 00:16:04.019 a long time and I've supported a lot of people. 00:16:04.059 --> 00:16:07.320 And so sometimes having that one on one connection 00:16:07.320 --> 00:16:11.340 to a life coach is really actually different 00:16:11.340 --> 00:16:14.149 than those other kind of communities that I mentioned 00:16:14.149 --> 00:16:16.590 because your life coach has absolutely nothing 00:16:16.590 --> 00:16:19.309 invested in your choices. They are all about 00:16:19.309 --> 00:16:22.309 you feeling empowered to make your own choices 00:16:22.309 --> 00:16:25.929 and to choose your path forward and having that 00:16:25.929 --> 00:16:29.350 really neutral person who just believes in you 00:16:29.350 --> 00:16:33.669 and is encouraging you and just accepts that 00:16:33.669 --> 00:16:37.129 your truth is the right path. That's incredibly 00:16:37.129 --> 00:16:40.370 valuable and I've had so many coaches over the 00:16:40.370 --> 00:16:43.000 years. And most of the time I have a coach of 00:16:43.000 --> 00:16:46.080 some kind. It's just something that when you 00:16:46.080 --> 00:16:48.539 realize that it works for you, you keep doing 00:16:48.539 --> 00:16:51.629 what works for you, right? Right, that's right. 00:16:51.690 --> 00:16:55.110 The other thing about a coach, they understand, 00:16:55.370 --> 00:16:58.389 they get it when you're trying, but you keep 00:16:58.389 --> 00:17:00.990 running into an obstacle or there's something 00:17:00.990 --> 00:17:03.809 there that's holding you back. They see you in 00:17:03.809 --> 00:17:06.529 that process and they're there to give you that 00:17:06.529 --> 00:17:09.230 hand to say, hey, let's dig a little deeper. 00:17:09.369 --> 00:17:11.910 Let's see what we can do to look inside to see 00:17:11.910 --> 00:17:16.170 what needs to shift here. So just critical in 00:17:16.170 --> 00:17:20.049 being able to move and grow. So I know as you 00:17:20.049 --> 00:17:22.410 mentioned you've been coaching for a long time. 00:17:22.490 --> 00:17:24.349 I know you through the years coached a lot of 00:17:24.349 --> 00:17:29.109 women Is there a common thread that you can see 00:17:29.109 --> 00:17:31.569 as you talk to women and then maybe they want 00:17:31.569 --> 00:17:34.289 to make changes But they're not sure what to 00:17:34.289 --> 00:17:37.170 do or maybe they're just the fear or is there 00:17:37.170 --> 00:17:39.730 something that you see? That's a common thread 00:17:39.730 --> 00:17:45.309 with women Absolutely. So the common thread is 00:17:45.309 --> 00:17:48.180 confidence That's the number one word that I 00:17:48.180 --> 00:17:50.720 hear. I need to be more confident if I were more 00:17:50.720 --> 00:17:53.059 confident. And the thing that I think I've really 00:17:53.059 --> 00:17:56.579 supported people with is finding that the way, 00:17:58.380 --> 00:18:00.779 finding their pathway to believing in themselves, 00:18:01.380 --> 00:18:04.880 to really knowing that, yeah, this might be hard. 00:18:05.380 --> 00:18:07.920 It might be a really big stretch. It might seem 00:18:07.920 --> 00:18:09.619 to other people even like it's a small stretch, 00:18:09.640 --> 00:18:12.559 but to you, it's a big stretch, right? But to 00:18:12.559 --> 00:18:16.480 know, to know that you can do it. And if there's 00:18:16.480 --> 00:18:18.799 something that's calling to you, that's tugging 00:18:18.799 --> 00:18:22.359 at your heart, the reason it's tugging at you 00:18:22.359 --> 00:18:24.920 is because you're meant to do it and you are 00:18:24.920 --> 00:18:27.799 capable of doing it. Maybe you need to learn 00:18:27.799 --> 00:18:31.200 some things externally, go get some more information, 00:18:31.359 --> 00:18:35.339 some skills, whatever it might be, but that internal, 00:18:35.500 --> 00:18:40.440 who you are, who you know yourself to be is what 00:18:40.440 --> 00:18:43.720 will help you believe enough to keep going. And 00:18:43.720 --> 00:18:45.579 a lot of times, and I will tell you this, A lot 00:18:45.579 --> 00:18:47.960 of times it's just about keep going. And you 00:18:47.960 --> 00:18:49.480 know, that's because I tell you there's a lot. 00:18:50.440 --> 00:18:53.480 You just it's like, OK, you got to look for those 00:18:53.480 --> 00:18:55.779 signs that things are working. Right. And then 00:18:55.779 --> 00:18:57.539 when you see those signs of the way you got to 00:18:57.539 --> 00:19:00.559 keep going, even though sometimes you're looking 00:19:00.559 --> 00:19:03.880 around like, where are those signs? That's right. 00:19:04.019 --> 00:19:11.480 Just don't give up. Never give up. Other advice 00:19:11.480 --> 00:19:14.039 you would give to a woman today that's saying, 00:19:14.319 --> 00:19:18.220 OK, I've heard you, Jen, and I'm ready to do 00:19:18.220 --> 00:19:20.619 something today. Anything that you would tell 00:19:20.619 --> 00:19:28.960 that person? Small steps really do add up. I, 00:19:29.259 --> 00:19:31.920 in my younger years, was very much about big, 00:19:32.059 --> 00:19:36.519 dramatic, you know, okay, the diet starts on 00:19:36.519 --> 00:19:39.000 Monday, and I'm going to be perfect at it, and 00:19:39.000 --> 00:19:43.059 I'm finally going to get that weight off. And 00:19:43.059 --> 00:19:45.339 maybe there are some people for whom that approach 00:19:45.339 --> 00:19:48.319 consistently works. But what I found is that 00:19:48.319 --> 00:19:53.319 little bit over time really does add up. So with 00:19:53.319 --> 00:19:57.619 that change, what I've really noticed is when 00:19:57.619 --> 00:19:59.980 things don't quite go the way you wish they would, 00:20:00.380 --> 00:20:03.339 you're more resilient and you say, okay, all 00:20:03.339 --> 00:20:05.319 right, that didn't work or that didn't go the 00:20:05.319 --> 00:20:08.740 way I want it to. But I can get back up and I 00:20:08.740 --> 00:20:12.709 can keep going. I can take one more step. It's 00:20:12.709 --> 00:20:15.710 just consistency and little bit by little bit. 00:20:15.930 --> 00:20:18.150 It really does add up. And then all of a sudden 00:20:18.150 --> 00:20:19.390 you start having these periods of time where 00:20:19.390 --> 00:20:22.289 it's like, whoa, it happened really fast. Then 00:20:22.289 --> 00:20:24.769 there's this big leap and you're like, oh, that 00:20:24.769 --> 00:20:28.710 was cool. And oh my gosh, now I'm scared. That's 00:20:28.710 --> 00:20:30.450 where it helps to have somebody to talk about 00:20:30.450 --> 00:20:34.910 it with, right? Because we wish there's this 00:20:34.910 --> 00:20:36.690 meme that you've probably seen where we wish 00:20:36.690 --> 00:20:39.559 the growth was always like this. right just this 00:20:39.559 --> 00:20:41.500 smooth steady pace but it's really like this 00:20:41.500 --> 00:20:47.980 right yes it's so true it's so true it's something 00:20:47.980 --> 00:20:50.740 i think you and i have talked about before is 00:20:50.740 --> 00:20:54.960 that transformation happens that one small step 00:20:54.960 --> 00:20:58.259 at a time like you're saying it's not these big 00:20:58.259 --> 00:21:02.539 boom i'm gonna go quit my job today and i'm gonna 00:21:02.539 --> 00:21:06.220 go buy a new house and For me, it's easy to think 00:21:06.220 --> 00:21:10.160 in these big sweeping changes, but it doesn't 00:21:10.160 --> 00:21:13.500 have to be like that. It can just be the very 00:21:13.500 --> 00:21:17.740 small shifts that we can make to begin the journey 00:21:17.740 --> 00:21:21.670 in the way that we want to go. Absolutely. Well, 00:21:21.789 --> 00:21:25.109 Jen, tell us a little bit more about the intuitive 00:21:25.109 --> 00:21:27.829 sounding board sessions that you mentioned at 00:21:27.829 --> 00:21:31.390 the top. Tell us about that. Well, I'm very excited 00:21:31.390 --> 00:21:32.829 about it. And this is one of those things that 00:21:32.829 --> 00:21:35.210 tapped me on the shoulder a couple of years ago. 00:21:35.589 --> 00:21:39.569 And I've just taken teeny tiny baby steps forward. 00:21:39.869 --> 00:21:41.710 Right. And I actually committed to one of my 00:21:41.710 --> 00:21:44.109 coaches. She said, now, if you're going to go 00:21:44.109 --> 00:21:46.690 off and do this big thing that you got hired 00:21:46.690 --> 00:21:49.960 to do, you have to also keep going forward. She 00:21:49.960 --> 00:21:52.200 said, because you said you want to be doing these 00:21:52.200 --> 00:21:55.559 things. So I was like, OK. But now I'm really 00:21:55.559 --> 00:21:58.539 getting the message. It's time. It's time. And 00:21:58.539 --> 00:22:01.079 so the intuitive sounding board sessions, they're 00:22:01.079 --> 00:22:03.180 different than coaching. There's something that 00:22:03.180 --> 00:22:06.039 I see complements coaching. So you keep working 00:22:06.039 --> 00:22:08.940 with your regular coach. But people come to me 00:22:08.940 --> 00:22:13.460 and they have a question and they need to either 00:22:13.460 --> 00:22:15.720 hear an intuitive answer to it or they have an 00:22:15.720 --> 00:22:18.900 idea about something. and they want to run it 00:22:18.900 --> 00:22:21.400 past somebody who, again, is going to be neutral, 00:22:21.859 --> 00:22:23.640 isn't going to have an opinion about whether 00:22:23.640 --> 00:22:26.259 they should do it, but can bring in that voice 00:22:26.259 --> 00:22:31.180 of intuition to share, you know, accessing kind 00:22:31.180 --> 00:22:35.220 of different information about it. So I can do 00:22:35.220 --> 00:22:37.779 it with the intuition or I can listen without 00:22:37.779 --> 00:22:39.960 the intuition. And then it just becomes me really 00:22:39.960 --> 00:22:41.859 focusing in and listening to the person as they're 00:22:41.859 --> 00:22:44.440 talking about something. And I'll say, OK, well, 00:22:44.539 --> 00:22:47.779 your voice just quivered a bit as you said that, 00:22:48.099 --> 00:22:52.160 or, oh, you stumbled over those words, or you 00:22:52.160 --> 00:22:54.559 were really hesitant to share that, right? And 00:22:54.559 --> 00:22:58.380 so we build on kind of me noticing those things 00:22:58.380 --> 00:23:00.480 until they get to a point of clarity. And that's 00:23:00.480 --> 00:23:03.079 the whole point of the sounding board sessions 00:23:03.079 --> 00:23:05.960 is to get to that point of clarity, whatever 00:23:05.960 --> 00:23:09.500 the question is, whatever the idea is. Okay, 00:23:09.500 --> 00:23:12.359 now you've got that clarity. So what do you want 00:23:12.359 --> 00:23:15.180 to do? What's a first step that you can take? 00:23:15.739 --> 00:23:19.319 and that will be meaningful. And so, yeah, so 00:23:19.319 --> 00:23:21.079 I'm very excited about these. I've done them 00:23:21.079 --> 00:23:23.480 kind of informally, like this just kind of happens 00:23:23.480 --> 00:23:24.859 and that's how you know something's right for 00:23:24.859 --> 00:23:27.400 you when it just sort of happens. But I've also 00:23:27.400 --> 00:23:30.000 done it intentionally within coaching sessions 00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:31.880 and people say it's one of the most valuable 00:23:31.880 --> 00:23:36.220 aspects of working with me. Wow, that's so awesome. 00:23:36.380 --> 00:23:40.759 I love it. Well, Jen, you are amazing. Just I 00:23:40.759 --> 00:23:43.920 clicked with you as soon as I met you and you've 00:23:43.920 --> 00:23:47.279 just been so important and instrumental to me 00:23:47.279 --> 00:23:51.019 on my journey with life coaching and starting 00:23:51.019 --> 00:23:53.900 my own business. So it's just really an honor 00:23:53.900 --> 00:23:56.579 that you would join me today and share some ideas 00:23:56.579 --> 00:23:59.880 and some things my audience. So thank you again. 00:24:00.079 --> 00:24:02.339 Now, if someone wants to get in touch with you, 00:24:02.339 --> 00:24:04.319 what's the best way to get in touch with you. 00:24:04.599 --> 00:24:06.559 Best way to get in touch is just through my email, 00:24:06.619 --> 00:24:09.619 because again, I'm tiptoeing into this and I 00:24:09.619 --> 00:24:11.740 don't have my website set up yet for it. But 00:24:11.740 --> 00:24:13.500 if you're interested, if you want to know more 00:24:13.500 --> 00:24:15.579 about these intuitive sounding board sessions, 00:24:15.660 --> 00:24:17.140 or if there's something I shared and you want 00:24:17.140 --> 00:24:20.640 to tuck it over, it's coachjen, C -O -A -C -H 00:24:20.640 --> 00:24:24.299 -J -E -N at jenniferanderson .com. And that's 00:24:24.299 --> 00:24:28.720 J -E -N -N -I -F -E -R -A -N -D -E -R -F -O -N 00:24:28.720 --> 00:24:36.750 .com. It's a long email. Thank you so much. Well, 00:24:36.829 --> 00:24:40.910 again, really appreciate your time, Jen. Thank 00:24:40.910 --> 00:24:44.309 you. And I wish you continued success in everything 00:24:44.309 --> 00:24:48.839 that you do. Well, you too. Thank you. Thank 00:24:48.839 --> 00:24:50.920 you so much for spending time with me today. 00:24:51.000 --> 00:24:53.900 I am truly grateful that you chose to listen 00:24:53.900 --> 00:24:56.200 in and I hope that this conversation sparked 00:24:56.200 --> 00:24:59.079 something meaningful for you. Please take a moment 00:24:59.079 --> 00:25:01.940 to subscribe, leave a review. It helps other 00:25:01.940 --> 00:25:04.259 women to find us who need to hear these stories 00:25:04.259 --> 00:25:07.420 too. And if you know someone who is ready for 00:25:07.420 --> 00:25:09.980 their own comeback, share this episode with them. 00:25:10.400 --> 00:25:13.000 I'd love to connect with you beyond the podcast. 00:25:13.460 --> 00:25:18.839 Visit me at hercomebackpodcast .com. That's HerComebackPodcast 00:25:18.839 --> 00:25:22.079 .com to learn more about how we can work together. 00:25:22.680 --> 00:25:25.740 I have a gift for you. Get your free copy today 00:25:25.740 --> 00:25:29.259 of five powerful shifts to reclaim your life. 00:25:29.980 --> 00:25:32.539 Remember, your comeback story is waiting to be 00:25:32.539 --> 00:25:35.579 written. The question isn't, can I transform 00:25:35.579 --> 00:25:39.720 my life? The question is, are you ready? Let's 00:25:39.720 --> 00:25:39.960 go.