WEBVTT 00:00:11.199 --> 00:00:14.039 Welcome to her comeback, Transforming Your Life 00:00:14.039 --> 00:00:16.879 After 50. I'm your host, Michelle Thompson. If 00:00:16.879 --> 00:00:19.739 you've ever whispered to yourself, there has 00:00:19.739 --> 00:00:22.800 to be more than this. You are in the right place. 00:00:23.100 --> 00:00:25.620 This show is for women over 50 who have hit their 00:00:25.620 --> 00:00:27.960 breaking point and are finally ready to stop 00:00:27.960 --> 00:00:30.920 going at it alone. You've tried the self -help 00:00:30.920 --> 00:00:34.539 box, the vision boards, positive thinking, but 00:00:34.539 --> 00:00:37.859 you're still stuck. And here's what I know. You're 00:00:37.859 --> 00:00:41.009 not broken. You just need the right support. 00:00:41.130 --> 00:00:42.990 And that's exactly what you're going to find 00:00:42.990 --> 00:00:46.070 here. Each week, I'll sit down with incredible 00:00:46.070 --> 00:00:48.829 women who have transformed their lives. You'll 00:00:48.829 --> 00:00:51.850 hear their real stories, the messy middle, the 00:00:51.850 --> 00:00:53.950 breakthrough moments, the practical steps that 00:00:53.950 --> 00:00:56.789 they took to create the lives that they love. 00:00:57.250 --> 00:01:00.630 Because your lowest limit, it can be your launching 00:01:00.630 --> 00:01:04.349 pad. So if you're done settling and ready for 00:01:04.349 --> 00:01:07.400 your comeback, Stay with me. Let's discover how 00:01:07.400 --> 00:01:10.280 other women have made it happen and how you can 00:01:10.280 --> 00:01:15.219 too. Are you ready? This is her comeback. Hey, 00:01:15.340 --> 00:01:18.939 good day, everyone. I am so pleased and honored 00:01:18.939 --> 00:01:23.480 to have with us Kim Dai. Kim Dai is here in Naples, 00:01:23.480 --> 00:01:26.200 Florida. Kim, welcome to the show. Thank you 00:01:26.200 --> 00:01:29.640 so much, Michelle. I appreciate being here. Thank 00:01:29.640 --> 00:01:31.500 you. Well, tell our audience a little bit about 00:01:31.500 --> 00:01:34.730 yourself. So I'm the Vice President of Advancement 00:01:34.730 --> 00:01:37.250 here at David Lawrence Centers in Naples. We're 00:01:37.250 --> 00:01:39.870 the largest behavioral health provider in Collier 00:01:39.870 --> 00:01:41.870 County, the size of the state of Rhode Island. 00:01:42.390 --> 00:01:45.349 So think mental health, substance use challenges, 00:01:45.969 --> 00:01:48.329 or everyone from children all the way to seniors. 00:01:48.769 --> 00:01:51.569 We're the provider of behavioral health. Also 00:01:51.569 --> 00:01:54.849 an author on the side, mom of a very active 10 00:01:54.849 --> 00:01:58.209 -year -old daughter, love to RV, have two dogs, 00:01:58.230 --> 00:02:00.129 and everything in my life is about getting to 00:02:00.129 --> 00:02:05.150 the yes. Great segue because that's exactly the 00:02:05.150 --> 00:02:08.270 next question I had for you. So getting to the 00:02:08.270 --> 00:02:11.909 yes. So I understand that is kind of your mantra 00:02:11.909 --> 00:02:15.389 or your motto, overcoming whatever life throws 00:02:15.389 --> 00:02:19.560 our way. Tell us about that. You know, it's just 00:02:19.560 --> 00:02:21.680 about being positive. You know, different people 00:02:21.680 --> 00:02:24.919 can call it different things. Since I was a little 00:02:24.919 --> 00:02:27.080 girl, it seems like anything that was ever thrown 00:02:27.080 --> 00:02:31.039 my way, I found a way to either spin it or move 00:02:31.039 --> 00:02:34.139 it or position it into something that's a little 00:02:34.139 --> 00:02:36.819 bit more positive. Enter the field of fundraising, 00:02:36.939 --> 00:02:39.180 which is where I spend a lot of my time, right? 00:02:39.300 --> 00:02:43.139 And we always look at trying to get people, projects, 00:02:43.699 --> 00:02:47.139 initiatives move to a yes position. So I kind 00:02:47.139 --> 00:02:51.060 of just combined that thought of positivity with 00:02:51.060 --> 00:02:53.500 that word, yes. And frankly, Michelle, really 00:02:53.500 --> 00:02:55.780 everything that goes on in our life, it's all 00:02:55.780 --> 00:02:58.080 about getting to the yes of the moment. So whether 00:02:58.080 --> 00:03:00.300 that's issues with a 10 -year -old daughter. 00:03:00.759 --> 00:03:03.520 whether you're dealing with marital issues, I'm 00:03:03.520 --> 00:03:05.960 a two -time cancer survivor and live with multiple 00:03:05.960 --> 00:03:09.219 sclerosis, you might be dealing with health challenges, 00:03:09.680 --> 00:03:13.259 work challenges, anything in life, I truly and 00:03:13.259 --> 00:03:15.939 genuinely believe that there is a route and a 00:03:15.939 --> 00:03:18.699 way to get you to overcome whatever it is by 00:03:18.699 --> 00:03:21.439 getting to a yes that works for you or a yes 00:03:21.439 --> 00:03:23.680 that matters in the moment. And maybe it's a 00:03:23.680 --> 00:03:25.900 whole series of little yeses on the way to the 00:03:25.900 --> 00:03:30.939 big yes. I love that. Oh, I love it. Well, I 00:03:30.939 --> 00:03:34.439 know that you have quite an amazing story. So 00:03:34.439 --> 00:03:38.180 maybe tell us a little bit about what your transformation 00:03:38.180 --> 00:03:42.039 journey has looked like. We look at Maslow's 00:03:42.039 --> 00:03:45.319 hierarchy of needs and that self -fulfillment, 00:03:45.560 --> 00:03:47.419 that self -affirmation that's at the top of the 00:03:47.419 --> 00:03:50.159 pyramid. I think I might be there or pretty darn 00:03:50.159 --> 00:03:53.639 close, but it's been a long journey. I went through 00:03:53.639 --> 00:03:56.560 one of my books is getting to the yes, thriving 00:03:56.560 --> 00:04:00.039 with MS or multiple sclerosis. That was a tough 00:04:00.039 --> 00:04:03.000 one to write because it really caused me to reflect 00:04:03.000 --> 00:04:08.120 back on my life. Great childhood. You know, your 00:04:08.120 --> 00:04:11.139 only child, upper middle class, probably the 00:04:11.139 --> 00:04:13.439 only thing was I was in dreary, eerie Pennsylvania. 00:04:13.560 --> 00:04:15.719 That's probably the only negative that was involved. 00:04:16.319 --> 00:04:18.759 Didn't really have any major challenges, life 00:04:18.759 --> 00:04:22.600 challenges to deal with. And then somehow between, 00:04:22.600 --> 00:04:24.839 you know, my mid to late twenties to where I 00:04:24.839 --> 00:04:28.980 am today, barreled through two different cancer 00:04:28.980 --> 00:04:31.500 diagnoses. One that came literally three days 00:04:31.500 --> 00:04:35.300 before my wedding. The MS diagnosis. came right 00:04:35.300 --> 00:04:38.399 at my 10th wedding anniversary. Then a divorce 00:04:38.399 --> 00:04:40.800 followed within a year. I don't really disparage 00:04:40.800 --> 00:04:43.579 my former husband. You know, he didn't plan to 00:04:43.579 --> 00:04:46.660 marry somebody that had such major health challenges 00:04:46.660 --> 00:04:49.399 and issues and all that comes with that, right? 00:04:49.860 --> 00:04:52.319 And then fast forward from there into other life 00:04:52.319 --> 00:04:55.519 changes. Finding my way eventually here to Naples, 00:04:55.519 --> 00:04:58.680 Florida. I always thought I would live by the 00:04:58.680 --> 00:05:00.959 sea and I'm thrilled that my life has taken me 00:05:00.959 --> 00:05:05.379 here. Managing that life with MS. Then adopting 00:05:05.379 --> 00:05:08.500 my daughter, who would have been my step -granddaughter, 00:05:08.579 --> 00:05:11.360 so my husband's granddaughter. She came to very 00:05:11.360 --> 00:05:14.319 late in my life, in my late 40s, and we took 00:05:14.319 --> 00:05:17.000 her in full -time when she was very, very young. 00:05:17.100 --> 00:05:20.379 Adopted her at age three. She's 10 today. And 00:05:20.379 --> 00:05:23.180 there in the midst, just right as the whole world 00:05:23.180 --> 00:05:26.120 was shutting down in the times of COVID, then 00:05:26.120 --> 00:05:29.259 diagnosed with cancer number two, a pretty serious 00:05:29.259 --> 00:05:32.279 melanoma that sent my whole world in a different 00:05:32.279 --> 00:05:35.459 spin. Now we're here today, several years later, 00:05:35.699 --> 00:05:38.339 cancer -free, still thriving while living with 00:05:38.339 --> 00:05:40.699 MS, sometimes better than doing the mom thing, 00:05:40.759 --> 00:05:45.199 I think, and just making that change. And I think 00:05:45.199 --> 00:05:48.060 it's, when you talk about... a transformation 00:05:48.060 --> 00:05:51.420 of women after 50. I often think we have to go 00:05:51.420 --> 00:05:54.160 through a lot before we really know who we are 00:05:54.160 --> 00:05:57.199 to get out to the other side, right? This is 00:05:57.199 --> 00:06:00.160 the maturing of us and not just by the circles 00:06:00.160 --> 00:06:02.439 under our eyes, right, or the wrinkles, but just 00:06:02.439 --> 00:06:06.730 the maturing of us as a whole. All of that led 00:06:06.730 --> 00:06:09.850 me finally to starting to publish the books that 00:06:09.850 --> 00:06:11.750 I've been carrying around in so many notebooks 00:06:11.750 --> 00:06:15.269 over the course of a lifetime to guide folks 00:06:15.269 --> 00:06:16.970 in the fundraising profession. Cause that's what 00:06:16.970 --> 00:06:19.410 I do in my day job. And then hopefully trying 00:06:19.410 --> 00:06:22.290 to guide others with some other life challenges. 00:06:22.550 --> 00:06:25.490 I only write about stuff I know. So I write about 00:06:25.490 --> 00:06:28.029 life with MS and getting to a yes. There'll be 00:06:28.029 --> 00:06:30.730 books coming out related to, you know, raising 00:06:30.730 --> 00:06:32.529 your grandchildren and grandparents are raising 00:06:32.529 --> 00:06:35.029 their grandchildren and how you find a yes in 00:06:35.029 --> 00:06:38.110 that. when your life's taken a big turn and really 00:06:38.110 --> 00:06:40.610 focusing on things that I kind of can relate 00:06:40.610 --> 00:06:43.410 to in my series of books. You talk about these 00:06:43.410 --> 00:06:48.209 really devastating health challenges that you've 00:06:48.209 --> 00:06:51.610 dealt with. How did you do it? What got you through 00:06:51.610 --> 00:06:55.170 those really dark times when, you know, getting 00:06:55.170 --> 00:06:58.649 bad news? Well, you know, the three days before 00:06:58.649 --> 00:07:00.850 getting married, when you find out you have cancer, 00:07:00.949 --> 00:07:02.430 and I mean, I was young then probably a little 00:07:02.430 --> 00:07:05.449 more dramatic than I am now. You know, they wanted 00:07:05.449 --> 00:07:07.290 me to cancel the wedding and go right in for 00:07:07.290 --> 00:07:09.250 the surgeries and the biopsies. And I thought, 00:07:09.290 --> 00:07:11.089 you know what, if I have cancer and something 00:07:11.089 --> 00:07:13.009 awful is going to happen, I'm going on that cruise, 00:07:13.389 --> 00:07:14.970 right? I'm going to make sure I'm married first 00:07:14.970 --> 00:07:17.310 and whatever it is, we'll come back and in 10 00:07:17.310 --> 00:07:20.009 days, we'll deal with it. And I think having 00:07:20.009 --> 00:07:23.360 a plan, a strategy. removes some of that emotion 00:07:23.360 --> 00:07:26.560 right and so when I was diagnosed with MS and 00:07:26.560 --> 00:07:29.569 I write about this in the book I was actually 00:07:29.569 --> 00:07:32.629 relieved because I was ill for a long time. I'm 00:07:32.629 --> 00:07:34.970 talking years compared to like when you take 00:07:34.970 --> 00:07:37.610 your car to the shop and you're driving it into 00:07:37.610 --> 00:07:39.870 the mechanic and the whole way there it's rattling, 00:07:40.149 --> 00:07:42.589 it's beeping, you swear the wheels are gonna 00:07:42.589 --> 00:07:45.050 fall off the vehicle. You give it to the mechanic, 00:07:45.129 --> 00:07:47.389 he does a test drive and he calls you and says, 00:07:47.430 --> 00:07:49.389 Kim, there's nothing wrong with this, right? 00:07:49.550 --> 00:07:51.709 And then you take the car, you pick it up, you're 00:07:51.709 --> 00:07:54.409 halfway home and it all starts again. That's 00:07:54.409 --> 00:07:57.170 what life with MS is like until you're diagnosed. 00:07:58.170 --> 00:08:00.730 At some point, you just stop going to the mechanic 00:08:00.730 --> 00:08:03.029 or stop going to the doctor to try to figure 00:08:03.029 --> 00:08:06.350 it out. When I finally got the diagnosis, Michelle, 00:08:06.389 --> 00:08:08.970 to me, it was like, thank God, now we can figure 00:08:08.970 --> 00:08:11.410 out something to do. We can put the plan together. 00:08:11.910 --> 00:08:14.850 We can strategize what life looks like. We figure 00:08:14.850 --> 00:08:19.500 out our new normal. A child dropped on my doorstep, 00:08:19.519 --> 00:08:22.500 you know, that wasn't a choice that I was making 00:08:22.500 --> 00:08:24.699 at the time, so blessed and glad that I am her 00:08:24.699 --> 00:08:27.819 mom today. But again, just putting those strategies 00:08:27.819 --> 00:08:32.679 into place. And when melanoma hit and, you know, 00:08:32.820 --> 00:08:35.080 we had just laid off everybody. I used to work 00:08:35.080 --> 00:08:36.799 for Gulf Shore Playhouse. We laid off everybody 00:08:36.799 --> 00:08:39.539 but eight of us. I literally just moved home 00:08:39.539 --> 00:08:42.340 into my office. Autumn was home away from her 00:08:42.340 --> 00:08:44.820 preschool. And now I'm trying to work, manage 00:08:44.820 --> 00:08:47.759 a melanoma diagnosis. you know, what can you 00:08:47.759 --> 00:08:50.259 do? There's Julia Roberts in Stepmom. There's 00:08:50.259 --> 00:08:52.399 a great scene when she's coaching her stepdaughter. 00:08:52.440 --> 00:08:54.860 They're sitting on the wall and her stepdaughter's 00:08:54.860 --> 00:08:57.600 upset and she said, you have two choices. We 00:08:57.600 --> 00:09:00.879 can either sit here and we can cry about it or 00:09:00.879 --> 00:09:04.340 we can do something. And so I think if we choose 00:09:04.340 --> 00:09:06.720 to do something, if you breathe through it, if 00:09:06.720 --> 00:09:09.139 you put a strategy together, and then if you 00:09:09.139 --> 00:09:12.220 refocus, you can find your path out on the other 00:09:12.220 --> 00:09:14.559 side. And maybe your life's even a little bit 00:09:14.559 --> 00:09:17.639 better than it was before. Once you find that, 00:09:17.779 --> 00:09:22.269 yes, then you can figure it out. Oh, I love that. 00:09:22.470 --> 00:09:24.269 I can really identify with what you're saying 00:09:24.269 --> 00:09:26.350 there because I've had different challenging 00:09:26.350 --> 00:09:29.190 situations in my life and you're presented with 00:09:29.190 --> 00:09:30.929 information, you know, what are you going to 00:09:30.929 --> 00:09:33.669 do? You know, make a plan, walk through it. You 00:09:33.669 --> 00:09:36.309 know, I love that. That's some really great advice. 00:09:36.830 --> 00:09:40.250 So you mentioned about being an adoptive mom 00:09:40.250 --> 00:09:43.629 at this age. How did that come about? I mean, 00:09:43.789 --> 00:09:45.909 what were the situations that said, you know, 00:09:45.950 --> 00:09:49.200 I'm doing this? What happened? So I need to be 00:09:49.200 --> 00:09:50.759 a little cautious there because there's other 00:09:50.759 --> 00:09:53.539 people's stories in play, not just mine, right? 00:09:53.710 --> 00:09:56.649 including my daughters. And the reason I haven't 00:09:56.649 --> 00:09:58.850 written the book yet about grandparents raising 00:09:58.850 --> 00:10:00.970 grandkids is I want her to have a role in that 00:10:00.970 --> 00:10:02.950 because it's her story we're telling, right? 00:10:03.490 --> 00:10:05.990 Her birth parents are my stepson and his former 00:10:05.990 --> 00:10:08.450 girlfriend. They were teenagers when they had 00:10:08.450 --> 00:10:11.190 Autumn and made Autumn, just not prepared to 00:10:11.190 --> 00:10:13.590 take on that challenge. And then there's some 00:10:13.590 --> 00:10:15.350 other mental health and substance use issues 00:10:15.350 --> 00:10:18.129 in play. That kind of all then led me full circle 00:10:18.129 --> 00:10:20.269 to work at David Lawrence Centers, where I do. 00:10:20.590 --> 00:10:24.740 And in this instance, we stepped in to provide 00:10:24.740 --> 00:10:27.000 Autumn with what she needed in what we thought 00:10:27.000 --> 00:10:30.240 was a temporary situation that then just became 00:10:30.240 --> 00:10:34.259 her permanent life and adopted her at age three 00:10:34.259 --> 00:10:37.679 and pretty much never looked back since, trying 00:10:37.679 --> 00:10:42.080 to find the best route for... Her family and 00:10:42.080 --> 00:10:44.299 we're not alone. I mean there are millions four 00:10:44.299 --> 00:10:48.200 or five millions of grandparents that are either 00:10:48.200 --> 00:10:50.480 Temporarily caring for their grandchildren or 00:10:50.480 --> 00:10:52.759 they're raising them and have adopted them as 00:10:52.759 --> 00:10:56.100 their own kids Our society is in a tough place 00:10:56.100 --> 00:10:59.539 these days, right? And I often look at those 00:10:59.539 --> 00:11:03.120 who have children very young And I remember when 00:11:03.120 --> 00:11:05.500 Autumn first came to us and I went to work and 00:11:05.500 --> 00:11:07.840 one of my employees pulled me in her office and 00:11:07.840 --> 00:11:09.259 shut the door. And she said, we had to sit down 00:11:09.259 --> 00:11:11.620 and talk. And I said, why? And she said, because 00:11:11.620 --> 00:11:14.200 you have Cheerios in your hair and two different 00:11:14.200 --> 00:11:16.840 shoes on your feet. And I thought, you know, 00:11:16.940 --> 00:11:21.100 it's really a lot to try to balance a baby and 00:11:21.100 --> 00:11:23.620 with a full -time job. And I was in my forties. 00:11:23.860 --> 00:11:26.039 And that day I just took a moment and I thought, 00:11:26.320 --> 00:11:29.139 you know, how do we expect young kids to raise? 00:11:29.340 --> 00:11:31.299 their own children, you know, when they're they're 00:11:31.299 --> 00:11:33.840 still children themselves. And how do we expect 00:11:33.840 --> 00:11:36.080 others who might have challenges that are a little 00:11:36.080 --> 00:11:38.919 bit more significant than our own to do that? 00:11:39.000 --> 00:11:42.139 Right. So honored and blessed to have been able 00:11:42.139 --> 00:11:45.639 to step in and to raise on them. And what's interesting 00:11:45.639 --> 00:11:49.139 is I often talk about how I have seven grandkids 00:11:49.139 --> 00:11:52.000 and a child and I've never birthed a baby and 00:11:52.000 --> 00:11:54.440 it makes for great cocktail party talk, people 00:11:54.440 --> 00:11:56.940 trying to figure that out. Two different marriages, 00:11:57.500 --> 00:11:59.639 lots of step kids and lots of step grandbabies, 00:12:00.019 --> 00:12:03.620 but I've never had my own child. And when we 00:12:03.620 --> 00:12:06.580 look at how God works and some people think it's 00:12:06.580 --> 00:12:09.320 the universe, but I think it's God. I think all 00:12:09.320 --> 00:12:13.139 of those challenges with fertility, all of the 00:12:13.139 --> 00:12:16.059 health issues that I faced, all led up to the 00:12:16.059 --> 00:12:19.159 day at 40 -some years old when I was asked, will 00:12:19.159 --> 00:12:22.340 you be a full -time mom? If I had a slew of my 00:12:22.340 --> 00:12:23.840 own kids, I don't know. Maybe I would have said, 00:12:23.960 --> 00:12:26.639 no, I've already been there, done that. There's 00:12:26.639 --> 00:12:29.480 no capacity for that. Instead, I said, sure. 00:12:29.720 --> 00:12:32.820 I've wanted to be a mom my whole life. It was 00:12:32.820 --> 00:12:35.759 a gift for me as much, I think, as it was a gift 00:12:35.759 --> 00:12:41.320 for Autumn. Oh, and what a beautiful gift to 00:12:41.320 --> 00:12:44.860 have you to be that support and that loving hand 00:12:44.860 --> 00:12:47.340 to be there for her. That's really awesome. And 00:12:47.340 --> 00:12:50.080 how your journey here has really come full circle 00:12:50.080 --> 00:12:52.600 with your work, you know, from your things that 00:12:52.600 --> 00:12:54.200 have happened in your personal journey and then 00:12:54.200 --> 00:12:57.539 your work that you're doing at the DLC. Personal 00:12:57.539 --> 00:13:01.600 transformations had some, you know, amazing impacts, 00:13:01.600 --> 00:13:03.840 it seems, in your life. I think we've all had 00:13:03.840 --> 00:13:05.659 transformations, right? This one sounds pretty 00:13:05.659 --> 00:13:07.759 dramatic, like almost like Lifetime movie -ish. 00:13:08.169 --> 00:13:11.610 but we've all had all of our own transformations. 00:13:11.850 --> 00:13:14.470 If we just take a moment to think how far we've 00:13:14.470 --> 00:13:17.710 come as older women, we've all transformed. Let's 00:13:17.710 --> 00:13:21.090 talk a little bit more about the formal launch 00:13:21.090 --> 00:13:24.850 of Getting to the Yes and the first three books 00:13:24.850 --> 00:13:29.769 in your series. So why did you launch the series? 00:13:30.110 --> 00:13:32.549 Where did just the inspiration to get to become 00:13:32.549 --> 00:13:35.299 an author, where did that come from? I think 00:13:35.299 --> 00:13:37.059 ever since I was a little girl, I knew I'd be 00:13:37.059 --> 00:13:40.080 an author. I used to joke, if I had a dollar 00:13:40.080 --> 00:13:41.980 for every person that says, oh, Kim, you should 00:13:41.980 --> 00:13:44.259 write a book about that, I wouldn't need to fundraise 00:13:44.259 --> 00:13:48.000 for the causes that I work for anymore. The first 00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:50.139 three books in the fundraising series of Getting 00:13:50.139 --> 00:13:52.840 to the Yes start to tackle, you know, the basics 00:13:52.840 --> 00:13:55.220 of fundraising. So, you know, a guide for the 00:13:55.220 --> 00:13:57.460 fundraising professional, everything a new person 00:13:57.460 --> 00:14:00.419 to the field might need to get started. Very 00:14:00.419 --> 00:14:02.340 few of us really go to school to learn to be 00:14:02.340 --> 00:14:04.419 fundraisers. We kind of stumble and fall into 00:14:04.419 --> 00:14:07.480 the role. So it's a great guide. The second is 00:14:07.480 --> 00:14:10.000 about building compelling campaigns. And I've 00:14:10.000 --> 00:14:13.399 been very fortunate to craft and lead some pretty 00:14:13.399 --> 00:14:16.740 significant campaigns in my career from, you 00:14:16.740 --> 00:14:18.919 know, a hundred million dollar campaign that 00:14:18.919 --> 00:14:20.460 we're in the midst of here at David Lawrence 00:14:20.460 --> 00:14:24.500 Centers. I raised about 65 million with the team 00:14:24.500 --> 00:14:27.019 at Gulf Shore Playhouse for the New Baker Theater 00:14:27.019 --> 00:14:29.659 here in town and on and on back in history. But 00:14:29.659 --> 00:14:32.460 there's a very specific way that you fundraise 00:14:32.460 --> 00:14:34.860 related to campaigns that's different from other 00:14:34.860 --> 00:14:37.500 aspects of fundraising. So I wanted to put a 00:14:37.500 --> 00:14:40.059 guide together to help folks because a lot of 00:14:40.059 --> 00:14:43.000 fundraisers haven't initiated or launched a campaign 00:14:43.000 --> 00:14:46.100 and seen it through its end. The third book, 00:14:46.090 --> 00:14:48.450 in the series so far, and there will be 12 when 00:14:48.450 --> 00:14:50.730 they're all said and done. The third is about 00:14:50.730 --> 00:14:53.750 overcoming that fear. It's tough to ask people 00:14:53.750 --> 00:14:56.639 for money. And the majority of people say, why 00:14:56.639 --> 00:14:59.480 the heck do you do this? And no matter what we 00:14:59.480 --> 00:15:01.279 do, I think that you have to have a little bit 00:15:01.279 --> 00:15:03.080 of nervousness or I don't know that you're really 00:15:03.080 --> 00:15:04.740 bought into whatever it is that you're doing. 00:15:05.539 --> 00:15:08.399 But overcoming fear is important in the field. 00:15:08.480 --> 00:15:10.639 And I see it so often, especially with brand 00:15:10.639 --> 00:15:12.639 new fundraisers, they're timid, they're shy, 00:15:13.059 --> 00:15:15.299 they're afraid to ask for things. And so the 00:15:15.299 --> 00:15:18.139 third book is really designed around that. There 00:15:18.139 --> 00:15:20.600 are short books, shorter books. You're not going 00:15:20.600 --> 00:15:23.139 to get a 400 -page book. I think the longest 00:15:23.139 --> 00:15:26.080 is maybe 120 pages. They're about 50, 60, 70 00:15:26.080 --> 00:15:28.360 pages each. And they're really designed to read 00:15:28.360 --> 00:15:30.820 them and then go do something with them. So to 00:15:30.820 --> 00:15:33.100 learn something and then to go try out the technique 00:15:33.100 --> 00:15:37.100 to employ what you learn versus just being educated 00:15:37.100 --> 00:15:40.960 on a subject. Great. Fantastic. In your experience, 00:15:41.059 --> 00:15:43.960 what's the biggest barrier to getting to Yes 00:15:43.960 --> 00:15:47.220 to Yes that's in fundraising, sales, relationships, 00:15:47.320 --> 00:15:49.759 or just even life in general? I think you got 00:15:49.759 --> 00:15:51.919 to figure out what the no's are, right? You have 00:15:51.919 --> 00:15:55.139 to know what the no is. And maybe it's a barrier. 00:15:55.700 --> 00:15:58.320 I think it's barriers. I think it's objections. 00:15:58.559 --> 00:16:00.500 You have to get through the smoke screens, right? 00:16:01.200 --> 00:16:03.700 So you have to first, I talk about it like you're 00:16:03.700 --> 00:16:05.929 peeling an onion. You got to figure out what 00:16:05.929 --> 00:16:08.669 all those little no's are to get to the yes. 00:16:08.929 --> 00:16:11.429 You have to honor the small yeses along the way. 00:16:11.970 --> 00:16:14.470 So if you want to, I don't know, you want to 00:16:14.470 --> 00:16:16.250 take a cruise, you want to go on a vacation, 00:16:16.250 --> 00:16:20.190 and your spouse is saying no, right, maybe literally, 00:16:20.529 --> 00:16:23.190 or kind of just quietly beating around the bush 00:16:23.190 --> 00:16:25.090 and coming up with all the reasons not to talk 00:16:25.090 --> 00:16:28.710 about it, you kind of have to explore what it 00:16:28.710 --> 00:16:30.769 is. Is it that they don't want to be on a ship? 00:16:30.889 --> 00:16:33.470 Is it that they can't give up a week? Is it that 00:16:33.470 --> 00:16:35.980 it's too expensive? Is it that cruises aren't 00:16:35.980 --> 00:16:39.320 their thing, right? So you have to get, remove 00:16:39.320 --> 00:16:42.940 all those barriers, remove all of those objections. 00:16:43.600 --> 00:16:45.820 And truly, I believe if you get rid of every 00:16:45.820 --> 00:16:48.100 single no along the way, there's only one word 00:16:48.100 --> 00:16:51.720 that's left and that word is yes. So I think 00:16:51.720 --> 00:16:54.440 that's the big aha moment. And if you're in fundraising, 00:16:54.779 --> 00:16:57.539 it's figuring out the donor's interests, their 00:16:57.539 --> 00:17:00.100 passions, figuring out what's holding them back. 00:17:00.320 --> 00:17:03.159 Is it really no or is it not today or it's not 00:17:03.159 --> 00:17:05.039 the right cause or not the right organization 00:17:05.039 --> 00:17:08.359 peeling that back? If you're raising a child 00:17:08.359 --> 00:17:11.059 and they're having behavior issues really diving 00:17:11.059 --> 00:17:14.420 into what's causing that peeling that onion back. 00:17:14.920 --> 00:17:16.920 When you look at health challenges like cancer 00:17:16.920 --> 00:17:20.039 or MS, it's really getting educated on the subject. 00:17:21.230 --> 00:17:24.369 figuring out how it's going to impact you, putting 00:17:24.369 --> 00:17:26.650 those plans in place, learning to advocate for 00:17:26.650 --> 00:17:29.170 yourself, and then starting to look in the mirror 00:17:29.170 --> 00:17:32.470 and seeing what life is going to look like now. 00:17:32.549 --> 00:17:36.549 For example, very fair skinned redhead, almost 00:17:36.549 --> 00:17:39.109 died from melanoma, and I love going to the beach 00:17:39.109 --> 00:17:42.089 and I love boating. So what's my new world look 00:17:42.089 --> 00:17:44.650 like? I don't sit inside all day, but I wear 00:17:44.650 --> 00:17:47.630 long sleeve rash guards, and I wear big hats, 00:17:47.630 --> 00:17:50.670 and I constantly use sunscreen. going to see 00:17:50.670 --> 00:17:52.910 me out in the sun probably between 12 and 2, 00:17:52.910 --> 00:17:56.049 right? But that doesn't mean that I live all 00:17:56.049 --> 00:17:59.029 boarded up and hidden away. I just had to find 00:17:59.029 --> 00:18:01.869 my new way to the yes. And I got some really 00:18:01.869 --> 00:18:03.890 great new clothes out of the whole thing as well. 00:18:04.329 --> 00:18:06.670 So there's little bonuses to every single thing 00:18:06.670 --> 00:18:11.569 that happens. That's awesome. I want to talk 00:18:11.569 --> 00:18:14.069 a little bit more about, as you were saying, 00:18:14.269 --> 00:18:17.430 getting to the yes means that you may go through 00:18:17.430 --> 00:18:21.369 quite a few nos. As a woman, how do you not take 00:18:21.369 --> 00:18:26.430 it personal, not see it as rejection, have that 00:18:26.430 --> 00:18:29.990 confidence to keep going back at it? What is 00:18:29.990 --> 00:18:33.509 it that's that motivating force that keeps you 00:18:33.509 --> 00:18:37.390 going? what other choice do we have, right? And 00:18:37.390 --> 00:18:39.529 it's tough not to take anything, not personally, 00:18:39.730 --> 00:18:41.230 right? If you have a big heart, if you're that 00:18:41.230 --> 00:18:44.190 type of person. So I think more on the personal 00:18:44.190 --> 00:18:46.430 relationship side, I would struggle with that 00:18:46.430 --> 00:18:49.289 a little bit more. In business, it is really 00:18:49.289 --> 00:18:52.269 just working towards that goal and believing 00:18:52.269 --> 00:18:54.569 in yourself and believing in what having that 00:18:54.569 --> 00:18:57.309 strength and that courage to continue to push 00:18:57.309 --> 00:19:00.769 on. When you're talking about health, You really 00:19:00.769 --> 00:19:03.269 don't have a choice, right? I mean, I suppose 00:19:03.269 --> 00:19:06.029 you do. You could, you know, be downtrodden. 00:19:06.289 --> 00:19:10.029 You could be despairing. How many times have 00:19:10.029 --> 00:19:11.990 you heard when somebody's diagnosed with cancer, 00:19:12.029 --> 00:19:14.549 they say, you know, you got to stay upbeat because 00:19:14.549 --> 00:19:17.569 that is part of what the recovery is. So you 00:19:17.569 --> 00:19:20.869 have to just dig deep and try to find that. I 00:19:20.869 --> 00:19:23.289 think I call people who help us out are fire 00:19:23.289 --> 00:19:25.390 keepers, and I talk about that in one of the 00:19:25.390 --> 00:19:28.309 books. You have to surround yourself with those 00:19:28.309 --> 00:19:32.630 people who can See the yes, maybe when you can't, 00:19:32.750 --> 00:19:34.369 because I don't always have all the answers. 00:19:34.730 --> 00:19:36.650 Certainly don't in my marriage, I can tell you 00:19:36.650 --> 00:19:38.670 that and half the time with my child, right? 00:19:38.970 --> 00:19:41.190 So I have to surround myself with people I can 00:19:41.190 --> 00:19:44.309 trust, that I can run scenarios with, that I 00:19:44.309 --> 00:19:46.630 can talk things through with and work out those 00:19:46.630 --> 00:19:49.569 emotions to have that level head to try to sort 00:19:49.569 --> 00:19:53.930 it out in the end. Having that connection and 00:19:53.930 --> 00:19:57.519 supporters is so important, right? that can be 00:19:57.519 --> 00:19:59.920 there with you to provide that encouragement. 00:20:01.019 --> 00:20:04.079 Great, so which part of the book series will 00:20:04.079 --> 00:20:08.779 spark the most aha moments for our audience and 00:20:08.779 --> 00:20:11.299 why do you think that it resonates so strongly? 00:20:12.829 --> 00:20:15.130 I think that, and the books are on different 00:20:15.130 --> 00:20:18.329 topics, right? But I think that the aha moment 00:20:18.329 --> 00:20:21.990 is that yes is always possible and the positive 00:20:21.990 --> 00:20:24.549 is always possible. I think that's really important. 00:20:24.890 --> 00:20:27.829 And it seems like such a simple thing. And if 00:20:27.829 --> 00:20:30.470 folks read the book and they just take a moment 00:20:30.470 --> 00:20:34.170 and breathe through it and look at what's being 00:20:34.170 --> 00:20:36.930 written, I think the aha moment is if you put 00:20:36.930 --> 00:20:39.089 all the yeah, buts aside. And what I mean by 00:20:39.089 --> 00:20:41.980 that is yeah, Kim, that's a great idea. but I've 00:20:41.980 --> 00:20:44.539 had cancer four times, you only had it two. Or 00:20:44.539 --> 00:20:46.579 yeah, Kim, that's a great idea, but I'm stage 00:20:46.579 --> 00:20:49.680 four and you are stage two. Or yeah, Kim, that's 00:20:49.680 --> 00:20:52.700 a great idea, but it's a lot harder to raise 00:20:52.700 --> 00:20:54.900 money for my cause than the cause that you're 00:20:54.900 --> 00:20:58.900 working at. If we can eliminate those yeah, buts 00:20:58.900 --> 00:21:01.779 and really just consistently focus on the positive, 00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:05.539 that is the aha moment in any one of the books 00:21:05.539 --> 00:21:08.109 that are in the series. For fun, it's not part 00:21:08.109 --> 00:21:09.869 of the Getting to the Yes series. I wrote a book 00:21:09.869 --> 00:21:13.329 about RVing because that's what we do in our 00:21:13.329 --> 00:21:15.210 free time. And boy, you want to talk about having 00:21:15.210 --> 00:21:18.630 to find a lot of yeses there from fixing things 00:21:18.630 --> 00:21:21.329 to negotiating with your spouse where you're 00:21:21.329 --> 00:21:23.670 going to go to getting them to back up a 44 -foot 00:21:23.670 --> 00:21:26.349 rig. A whole bunch of things have to take place. 00:21:26.990 --> 00:21:30.509 But even in those moments, following that same 00:21:30.509 --> 00:21:34.130 principle, as simple as it is, That is what the 00:21:34.130 --> 00:21:36.829 big aha is. I think we tend to overthink things. 00:21:37.170 --> 00:21:39.470 Sometimes I really do. Like we're looking for 00:21:39.470 --> 00:21:42.329 the deeper meaning. And all it really is, is 00:21:42.329 --> 00:21:44.690 you put, I'm not very talented at many things. 00:21:44.809 --> 00:21:46.690 All I know how to do is plan and strategize. 00:21:46.710 --> 00:21:49.069 So you put a strategy together. You put a plan 00:21:49.069 --> 00:21:51.930 together. You prepare for the unexpected things. 00:21:52.130 --> 00:21:54.509 And then you just keep peeling that onion as 00:21:54.509 --> 00:21:56.549 every one of those barriers and smoke screens 00:21:56.549 --> 00:22:00.359 come up. And you will get to your yes. It might 00:22:00.359 --> 00:22:02.140 not always be what you think it's going to be. 00:22:02.380 --> 00:22:04.599 I don't think you would have asked me years ago 00:22:04.599 --> 00:22:07.140 if at 40 something I would have adopted a child. 00:22:07.599 --> 00:22:10.059 I would have laughed at you and ran away, right? 00:22:10.460 --> 00:22:14.180 But as my onion continued to unpeel and unpeel, 00:22:14.559 --> 00:22:17.539 the world just presented to me that this is what 00:22:17.539 --> 00:22:21.720 was meant at the time. There was no other other 00:22:21.720 --> 00:22:24.119 word at all in that instance, but an absolute 00:22:24.119 --> 00:22:30.750 yes. Love that. So, so beautiful. I love your 00:22:30.750 --> 00:22:33.990 tenacity. That's what I hear when your story 00:22:33.990 --> 00:22:36.170 is just you're tenacious and you just keep at 00:22:36.170 --> 00:22:38.869 it. You know, someone asked me, well, like, what's 00:22:38.869 --> 00:22:41.390 your backup plan? Well, you get back up and do 00:22:41.390 --> 00:22:43.890 it again. My backup plan is to get back up and 00:22:43.890 --> 00:22:46.690 you're saying just keep up and keep at it. Keep 00:22:46.690 --> 00:22:50.690 doing it. And that's really great stuff. Last 00:22:50.690 --> 00:22:53.589 question I have for you. My audience is women 00:22:53.589 --> 00:22:55.609 out there that want to transform their lives 00:22:55.609 --> 00:22:59.819 after 50. So is there a getting to the yes book 00:22:59.819 --> 00:23:03.220 for our audience that may be coming? How did 00:23:03.220 --> 00:23:08.269 you know that? Yes, sometimes very bad pun. Yes, 00:23:08.269 --> 00:23:11.710 there is in 2026. Yes, I will release it. The 00:23:11.710 --> 00:23:14.769 title hasn't been completely finalized yet, but 00:23:14.769 --> 00:23:17.789 I can assure you it's about empowerment and finding 00:23:17.789 --> 00:23:20.430 that, you know, I can sit here and tell you it's 00:23:20.430 --> 00:23:23.450 super easy to get to the yes. And there are some 00:23:23.450 --> 00:23:26.109 things in life that I've really struggled. And 00:23:26.109 --> 00:23:28.430 I think still to this day, I'm still peeling 00:23:28.430 --> 00:23:31.789 that onion a bit struggled to really get to that 00:23:31.789 --> 00:23:34.980 empowerment. I'm a people pleaser. I think some 00:23:34.980 --> 00:23:38.160 people might even label codependent in some of 00:23:38.160 --> 00:23:41.640 my situations. I've had some struggles to get 00:23:41.640 --> 00:23:44.880 to truly feeling empowered. You see tenacity 00:23:44.880 --> 00:23:48.099 and in business, I'm spot on, but that journey. 00:23:48.569 --> 00:23:52.349 to really feel, I'm 57 years old, to feel that 00:23:52.349 --> 00:23:55.150 I'm empowered and that my life has actually just 00:23:55.150 --> 00:23:57.509 begun, Michelle. I mean, this really feels like 00:23:57.509 --> 00:24:02.329 instead of looking at demise and retirement, 00:24:02.410 --> 00:24:04.769 I'm looking at an encore career in 10 years. 00:24:04.809 --> 00:24:07.630 I feel younger than I have when I was back in 00:24:07.630 --> 00:24:10.430 my 30s and 40s, and it came through this path 00:24:10.430 --> 00:24:13.309 to empowerment. So when this book comes out, 00:24:13.369 --> 00:24:15.190 I don't think that it's going to have as much 00:24:15.190 --> 00:24:18.730 tips and tricks and tactical things. that along 00:24:18.730 --> 00:24:21.410 the way, but more of the personal journey hopefully 00:24:21.410 --> 00:24:25.089 is a bit of inspiration for folks, women especially, 00:24:25.210 --> 00:24:30.549 who would need that. So 2026. Oh yay, I'll be 00:24:30.549 --> 00:24:33.190 there when it's released. Tell us about your 00:24:33.190 --> 00:24:36.410 books. They are available on Amazon. Can you 00:24:36.410 --> 00:24:39.359 tell us where we can find your material? Sure, 00:24:39.720 --> 00:24:43.140 Amazon, Barnes and Noble, soon to be on Apple 00:24:43.140 --> 00:24:46.259 Books and a variety of other places. And you 00:24:46.259 --> 00:24:48.779 can also get them right at gettingtotheyes .org. 00:24:48.819 --> 00:24:51.160 There's a shop right there. And you can have 00:24:51.160 --> 00:24:52.880 actually the prices are a little bit better if 00:24:52.880 --> 00:24:58.059 you do it that way too. Wonderful. And just a 00:24:58.059 --> 00:25:00.900 final note about your involvement with Hope for 00:25:00.900 --> 00:25:05.880 Collier. How can we find some more information 00:25:05.880 --> 00:25:10.099 on that initiative? So here in Naples, we're 00:25:10.099 --> 00:25:12.240 unfortunately in the worst substance use and 00:25:12.240 --> 00:25:14.220 mental health crisis that our county has ever 00:25:14.220 --> 00:25:17.180 seen. You know, when I think about a lot of statistics, 00:25:17.619 --> 00:25:20.480 and I know we were at an event together and you 00:25:20.480 --> 00:25:23.099 heard me say this, the number two cause of death 00:25:23.099 --> 00:25:25.680 of children my daughter's age, and she's 10, 00:25:26.140 --> 00:25:28.619 is death by suicide, which is just frightening. 00:25:29.140 --> 00:25:31.880 You can't hardly wrap your mind around that. 00:25:33.150 --> 00:25:35.390 That's what I'm doing my work in right now is 00:25:35.390 --> 00:25:38.309 really trying to raise funds and build teams 00:25:38.309 --> 00:25:41.869 and make connections and partnerships as we put 00:25:41.869 --> 00:25:44.869 together all of the solutions that we can to 00:25:44.869 --> 00:25:47.950 combat this. It's a huge initiative. It's a $160 00:25:47.950 --> 00:25:50.750 million public -private partnership. building 00:25:50.750 --> 00:25:53.289 new buildings, creating new programs and services. 00:25:54.390 --> 00:25:56.829 davidlaurencenters .org is the website where 00:25:56.829 --> 00:26:00.210 folks can learn more about what we do. And if 00:26:00.210 --> 00:26:02.849 anyone would like to get involved in being part 00:26:02.849 --> 00:26:05.349 of the solution, they can reach out directly 00:26:05.349 --> 00:26:07.349 to me and you can find me on the website there 00:26:07.349 --> 00:26:10.890 too. Thank you so much, Kim. You have just provided 00:26:10.890 --> 00:26:13.369 a wealth of information, and I love your story 00:26:13.369 --> 00:26:15.150 and everything that you've been able to share 00:26:15.150 --> 00:26:18.150 with our audience today. Really appreciate your 00:26:18.150 --> 00:26:21.670 time, and I wish you continued success in all 00:26:21.670 --> 00:26:24.410 of the things that you're working on, both personal 00:26:24.410 --> 00:26:27.670 and professional. Thank you so much, Coach Michelle. 00:26:27.910 --> 00:26:31.599 I wish you the same as well. Thank you so much 00:26:31.599 --> 00:26:34.359 for spending time with me today. I am truly grateful 00:26:34.359 --> 00:26:37.200 that you chose to listen in and I hope that this 00:26:37.200 --> 00:26:39.579 conversation sparked something meaningful for 00:26:39.579 --> 00:26:42.519 you. Please take a moment to subscribe, leave 00:26:42.519 --> 00:26:45.180 a review. It helps other women to find us who 00:26:45.180 --> 00:26:48.000 need to hear these stories too. And if you know 00:26:48.000 --> 00:26:50.359 someone who is ready for their own comeback, 00:26:50.740 --> 00:26:53.480 share this episode with them. I'd love to connect 00:26:53.480 --> 00:26:57.920 with you beyond the podcast. Visit me at hercomebackpodcast 00:26:57.920 --> 00:27:02.240 .com. That's HerComebackPodcast .com to learn 00:27:02.240 --> 00:27:05.099 more about how we can work together. I have a 00:27:05.099 --> 00:27:08.839 gift for you. Get your free copy today of five 00:27:08.839 --> 00:27:12.380 powerful shifts to reclaim your life. Remember 00:27:12.380 --> 00:27:14.859 your comeback story is waiting to be written. 00:27:15.299 --> 00:27:18.240 The question isn't, can I transform my life? 00:27:18.700 --> 00:27:30.859 The question is, are you ready? Let's go. Legs 00:27:30.859 --> 00:27:31.859 up in my tongue