Welcome to her comeback, transforming your life
after 50. I'm your host, Michelle Thompson. If
you've ever whispered to yourself, there has
to be more than this. You are in the right place.
This show is for women over 50 who have hit their
breaking point and are finally ready to stop
going at it alone. You've tried the self -help
box, the vision boards, positive thinking, but
you're still stuck. And here's what I know. You're
not broken. You just need the right support.
And that's exactly what you're going to find
here. Each week, I'll sit down with incredible
women who have transformed their lives. You'll
hear their real stories, the messy middle, the
breakthrough moments, the practical steps that
they took to create the lives that they love.
Because your lowest limit, it can be your launching
pad. So if you're done settling and ready for
your comeback, Stay with me. Let's discover how
other women have made it happen and how you can
too. Are you ready? This is her comeback. We
are so lucky and fortunate to have with us Annie
Meehan. She is an international speaker and author
and just so exciting. So, Annie, just tell us
a little bit more about yourself before we get
started here. So I am Annie Meehan. I live in
Southwest Florida most of the time, in central
Florida part of the time. I'm a CSP, which means
I'm a certified speaking professional. I've written
11 books. I'm mentally starting my 12th. And
more than anything, I do work that really shows
people how to heal mentally, emotionally, and
physically so they can live the most successful
life they ever imagined, whether that's in relationships
or it's in health or it's in their career or
earnings or whatever they want. That's what I
got to do. Great stuff. Awesome. Awesome. And
you also have a signature talk, a trademark about
being a pineapple person. Tell me about that.
Yes, I am known as a pineapple person. In fact,
somebody last week Googled pineapple person and
they're like, it's you. You are the pineapple
person. I really am always looking for two things,
Michelle. I'm always looking for easy ways to.
learn and teach and I'm also looking for ways
to be memorable and so and to spread kindness
and so what I thought about is like kindness
it's like just say be kind it's easy to forget
but if I can give you a visual and so the pineapple
became our symbol our vision so a lot of people
have heard the pineapple poem be a pineapple
stand up straight wear a crown be sweet on the
inside so it's kind of cute and it's a poem and
it kind of reminds us to be kind but I took the
poem And I dug into it and said, how do we take
the poem and make it a principle? And what happened
was that the first thing is stand up straight
and just that simple movement from down to up
with confidence. First of all, as a woman, I
always say put your shoulders back, be confident
in yourself, look people in the eye, own your
space, take up space, but also with the value
of people. Instead of looking down their phone
to text, we look at people. And it literally
transforms relationships, professional and personal
relationships, by just looking up. somebody called
me a pineapple, then they taught me the poem,
then I turned it into a principle, then I wrote
a book about it, then people heard about it and
invited me to do a TED talk, and today I'm kind
of known as the pineapple person. And you may
see me in a pineapple onesie or eating a pineapple
cookie, but I'm always trying to remind people
one simple symbol of a pineapple reminds us slow
down and offer more kindness. Awesome. I love
that. I love that. So As we look at women and
as we aspire to do all the many things that we're
trying to do in our lives today, how can a woman
be the exception as they become all they're meant
to be and then try to support others as they
climb to? How can we do all of that? Absolutely.
I always think about like one word. And it requires
slowness. I think slow to go fast. So you got
to slow down and think intentionally. How do
I want to show up today? How do I want to show
up? Period. Then how do I want to show up for
other people? And then how do I want to move
forward? So my, I feel like my growing up years
are my climbing years. I spent nine years in
the financial world on the institutional trading
side. And my floor that I worked on was about
440 people and 20 of us were women. So really
strong, successful, male dominated space. And
I would watch women shrink, including myself.
I was in my 20s and watch me shrink and write.
I think being the exception is like deciding
to rewrite any stories that don't serve us so
that a man has more worth than us, that a man
deserves to be paid more than us. I remember
one woman I met there. She had worked there a
long time and she said in 1979 she was called
back into the boss's office and he said, listen,
I'm going to give all the guys a raise. But are
you OK if I don't give you a raise? And she said,
Well, how come I don't get a raise? And he said,
well, you're not married and you don't have any
kids, so you don't really need a raise. And she
said, OK, that makes sense. And she didn't get
a raise. And today, she says, what in the world?
And that was 1979. I know some of your listeners
probably weren't even around in 1979. But for
those of us that are middle -aged that were,
it crushes my heart. And so part of being the
exception for me is one of the first things I
tell people is be honest. And I said, I'm not
talking about lying. I'm talking about the stories
that we tell in the back of our head are out
of our mouth that don't serve us. Well, Michelle's
better than me. Well, John's married. Well, they
have greater success. Well, they're smarter.
They have more degrees. all of those stories
that do not serve us. Wait a minute, that's not
true. Michelle might have that gift and John
might have that one, but I have value too. And
so part of being the exception for me was transforming
my brain, transforming my thoughts. And whether
I ever spoke them out, other people could look
at me and say, Annie, so confident. But if inside
I was like, I'm not measuring up. I'm not as
good as this person or that. I don't deserve
to be paid as much. It was not serving me. So
part of being the exception for me was filtering,
I think of a strainer, filtering every thought
I have, catching captive every thought, right?
Having that strainer and saying, does this serve
me or does it make me suffer? Does this make
me stand out or does it make me play small? And
I think as women that, well, I'll get to me.
It's not my turn. Or maybe they deserve it more.
Maybe they're better looking. Maybe they're smarter.
Maybe they're more successful. No, no, no. I
have great value. We all have great strength
and great value. So be the exception is kind
of seven keys, but the main one I would say to
women is think about what you're talking about
to yourself. When you look in the mirror, do
you just think, oh my gosh, I am so beautiful?
Or do you rip yourself apart? And one thing I
learned on my journey was I did not like myself
as pretty much the first 20 years of my life.
I didn't like how I looked. I didn't like who
I was. I didn't want to just be like other people.
I wanted to be anyone else. And when I decided
I'm kind of amazing. Not more amazing than anyone
else, but amazing. Each and every person has
so many gifts and so much to contribute. Like,
I showed up differently. I knew that I deserved
to take up space. So people call me short. I
call myself fun size. But I take up space. I
intentionally stand with my shoulders back up
straight. I speak up. I know that I have something
worth being heard. And I think it's easy to get
in your mind. Nobody cares. Nobody will listen.
That's stupid. Nobody else. You deserve a voice.
I had to learn. I deserve to be seen. I deserve
to be heard. I am not the worst thing that ever
happened to the world. I have gifts, and though
I'm messy and complicated and silly, and I might
not be everybody's cup of tea, I have value.
And that, Michelle, for me, especially when I'm
working with women, I say, ladies. Stop telling
yourself horrible things. Stop spending so much
time on this and spend time on this and on this
and contribute. And even if you think what you
have to say doesn't have value, someone else
needs it. And it just shifted me. It really made
me be the exception. Don't follow, don't stand
behind, don't doubt yourself. Even if I laugh
at you and think, oh, that's the dumbest thing
I've heard, who cares? You said it, move on,
right? And so being brave, rewriting stories,
being kind to myself, gentle to myself, courageous,
bold, authentic, all of those things serve me
very much as a speaker and a coach and a writer,
people will say. You're the real deal, aren't
you? And I'm like, 100%. I don't even know how
to be fake. I told someone the other day, I'm
like, I wish I could sometimes, but I just, I
don't have it in me. So that's what. That's so
true. And I definitely, in the time that I've
known you, Annie, it's, you're so authentic.
It's just like, I love it. And it's just every
conversation with you. I just feel like it's
always from the heart and it's, it's just, I
think you're fabulous. So as life shows up, we
all know we have the bad days, the tough times,
the disruptions come into our lives. How do you
yourself manage those disruptions and not let
that define you and soar above those things that
happen? It seems like they've been happening.
I was talking to a friend this morning. I said,
since I moved to Florida, I'm like, never mind.
Pretty much my whole life I've had disruption.
So yesterday I was doing a Facebook Live. I was
so happy. I had a friend visiting from Minnesota.
We're riding in the golf cart. Greg's able to
drive again since his triple bypass. We're going
to church. I am just so happy. I'm doing a Facebook
Live. Life is so glorious. And literally it ended.
And my husband goes, I think something's wrong.
And he's like, we got to stop. And I jump off
the golf cart and I have a flat tire. And we're
just like, oh my gosh. We can't even go five
minutes from a house for to church and I I say
that to say I learned to laugh at myself I learned
to not take myself too seriously My faith is
the most important thing to me and so I start
my day with God and God says I have good plans
for you I'm like if you could help those come
a little quicker. I am ready like come on Could
I have like three weeks of no no disruptions?
Intention. I go back to intention. Starting my
day in quiet. Starting my day in prayer. Having
really beautiful intentional relationships. Yesterday,
before we were headed to church, I have a very
dear friend that I've been friends with for 40
years here visiting me. She just left this morning.
Beautiful. That intentional time. My husband
and I went for a beautiful two -mile walk. He
can walk two miles again. Like, I try to shift
focus, right? Like, so there's always... Sadly,
for most of us, there's always a list of things
that aren't going how we imagined, that aren't
living up to our expectations, that are not a
smooth, straight line from, I start a business,
I have a thousand customers, right? But if I
say to myself, Annie, it doesn't really matter.
So what? So there's another disruption, another
flat tire, another health concern, another, I
have a sister in the hospital right now, just
these things that keep coming up. And I think,
what is the part you can do? What is the part
that I can do to spread love in the midst of
the disruption. How do I keep my sense of humor?
How do I keep loving on the people God has given
me to love or my audiences? How do I shift from
this disruption I'm in into what next? So when
I wrote the book Choose to Soar kind of inspired
by Hurricane Ian, the literal disruption what
I thought about is that every day we get to decide
how we show up Michelle and like when people
say who are you do I lead with all the tragedy
and trauma that I've gone through or do I think
I'm this extraordinary speaker that gets to travel
the world and make people inspired and show them
light and love in the face of their own challenge
and disruption and so I try to focus on the good
I try to be grateful I try to be generous I try
to laugh at myself and say Well, isn't that ironic?
Because I was talking about what a fabulous day
I'm having, you know, fabulously beautiful it
is in Florida and then flat tire. And I always
go back to Job in the Bible and like all the
things that happened to him. And he's like, I'm
not giving up. And it's like, are you sure? You
know, like, I just feel like all of us have things
that will come against us. But if we decide I
will look for the good, I will be the good and
I will spread the good. It changes you. You can't
help but soar above. And, you know, I get to
go speak to realtors on Wednesday. I get to have
a friend here. My husband's healing. Like, there's
so much good in the face of also a lot of disruption,
but I'd rather look for the good. That's how
I guess. As I hear you talking about that, I
just hear the gratitude. So how much do you think
that gratitude is able to play into kind of being
able to go with it with the disruption? How do
you see that? Yeah, 100 % and so what I would
say is that I am a person that. When a lot of
people say, why me, God, about tragedies that
come at them, I always say to God, why me? Why
do I get to live at the beach? Why do I get to
have a husband that's loyal and loving to me?
Why do I get to have three healthy adult children?
Why do I get to have a career that I love and
travel the world and make an impact? So I always
think, if we're going to question our blessing,
why do we not question, or if we're gonna question
our burden, why do we not question our blessing?
Like, who are we? So yes, gratitude's a huge
part of it. I also totally know whatever we focus
on expands, and I meet so many people that get
stuck focused on the disruption, and then it
expands, and all we see is what we lost. But
I really try to broaden and focus on what did
I gain? I gained a friend through that. I gained
compassion. I gained connection, community. And
so I say gratitude, yes, be grateful for what
I have and then live beyond it. So for me, it's
about gratitude and then generosity. So I am
grateful for what I have. But then I ask, how
can I expand? So my dear friend that was here
had just lost her mother recently, actually the
day my husband went in the hospital. So I couldn't
be with her for the funeral. And I said, I'm
so sorry I can't be there. She's been such a
dear friend. And she was there when my mom died
last December. when you can come visit us so
she came to the villages which is where we live
at this moment and i said what do you want to
do you want to go out dancing so we went out
dancing you want to go out for drinks no not
really i want to go out for ice cream and i want
to go dancing so gratitude first but then beyond
so then go do something for someone else which
really helps me shift because she's single and
she just lost her mom and her mom was like my
mom who struggled with mental health and addiction
and depression and so I got to go love on her
and we got big sundaes and we giggled and you
know we forgot to take pictures and you know
we joke about getting out of the car is painful
and so yes first being grateful for what I do
have and how far we have come and how every day
is a gift but then asking how do I make this
day meaningful by loving on someone else and
encouraging someone else so that's That's great.
Awesome. I love that. So you mentioned a little
bit about climbing The latter, so to speak, that
everyone talks about in the corporate world with
it being so male dominated. We've also talked
about, you know, having the confidence that yes,
you, you deserve to be that to get that promotion.
You have value and all the things that you bring
to the table. Is there anything else you can
share about that? Or maybe there's some women
out there that are thinking it's just really
hard for me to speak up and to say my value and
to really bring verbalize that. What suggestions
might you give them? Anything else you could
tell them? Yeah, I just thought of something
as you asked, Michelle, is that one really important
tip for all women is find one really good friend.
Just one. You don't need 20, just one really
good friend. One really good friend that tells
you the truth. The ugly truth sometimes, but
the truth. One really good friend that will laugh
with you and at you when you make a fool of yourself
that you can call and say, oh my gosh, I spoke
up and everyone thought I was an idiot. Who cares?
Do it again tomorrow. But you need an ally. You
need somebody to talk through that with. And
this girlfriend actually that was visiting, we
used to do walking therapy at the Mall of America.
So every Monday night we'd meet for four hours
and we'd walk and we'd talk. We wouldn't spend
money. We'd just walk and talk. And it was so
good. We'd talk about our hopes, our dreams,
our embarrassments, our struggles, support each
other, encourage each other. So first, find a
really good friend. Second, just do it. There
is a lot of statistics about this. I don't want
to quote wrong, but I know that men it's somewhere
between 20 and 50 % of what the requirements
are will apply. Though if they have 20 % of what
it says, they'll put their name in the hat. Women
are about 80 % and higher before they put their
name in the hat. We gotta shift that ladies.
Come on ladies. Put your name in the hat. Get
rejected like I tell people my favorite hobby.
HR directors don't love me for this, but is applying
for jobs. because it builds confidence. It actually
builds confidence. And I don't even always want
the job. I want to know that I know how to answer
a question when I'm nervous, when I'm intimidated.
So it's a great practice to put your name in
a hat for a job, less qualified and more qualified,
and just to practice to build that muscle, right?
So anything we do, reps on repetition, we get
stronger. So I like to apply for jobs, but I
often applied for jobs in the financial world
that I was not qualified for, and I often got
them. And I think the reason why is because I
spoke clearly and confidently learning language,
learning your voice. I sometimes want to work
with people just on how to articulate, how to
look up, how to answer a question confidently,
because a confident answer, right or wrong, is
more received than I think it's the sort of even
if you're more right. So being confident, having
your posture, having your voice. Doing some self
-affirmation of I deserve to be heard. I deserve
to speak up. I deserve to my daughter's meeting
with her company It's in the construction field
and she got invited into the round tables kind
of with the CEO and at first like I don't know
why I'm going or I'm That's not my position and
she's like now they're like asking me and she
goes I kind of just want to listen and now she's
speaking up more and more Find a mentor inside
your workplace and say I do want to climb the
ladder I got five promotions in nine years in
the financial world, but I looked always look
for the helpers look for them mentors. Oh my
gosh, Michelle seems really kind. Wow, she's
an executive. I'm going to see if she'll go to
lunch with me. I'm going to learn from her and
say, I'm grateful for the job I have, but I see
myself going somewhere. What are some tips? What
are seek? um advice seek wisdom seek encouragement
also 20 minutes with the mentors plenty don't
always ask them for an hour because their plate's
pretty full but could i get 20 minutes with you
can i buy you a cup of coffee and talk to you
for 20 minutes so seek advisors get a great ally
friend outside because you're gonna make a fool
of yourself and some people are gonna think you're
goofy who cares go to that friend and say i think
i screwed up today okay Go back again tomorrow.
Put your name in the hat, even when you're not
qualified for practice. And also you might be
surprised you might get that promotion. Get volunteer.
I'm such a huge believer in, you know, when they
sign up to. paint a house for Habitat for Humanity,
get involved in that, do the things that your
company does, get involved, volunteer, lead something,
lead a lunch, go to the learning lunch when there's
opportunities to learn, continue to learn, grow,
read. They say leaders are readers. I believe
that leaders are learners, and I think we all
learn differently. So you can read books, go
to a conference, listen to something, lead something.
I started my own groups, whether it was Bunko,
Bible Study, or Women's leadership, I would just
start things and invite two or three people and
expand a networking group. What do we have in
common at lunch? Different opportunities. So
lots of different things, but more than anything,
believe in yourself and put yourself out there,
even if you make a fool of yourself. That's what
I say. That's all. I think that's awesome. I
think that's great advice. And then when that
imposter syndrome slips in, when you have that
moment of like, Oh my God, what am I doing here?
What do you tell yourself in those moments? Okay.
Will you play a little game with me, Michelle?
Sure. Absolutely. I'm going to make you think
on your feet. So I want you to answer three questions
and it's worth four points for you. Okay. Okay.
I know it's your interview and talk show, but
let's see how you do on this. Cause I'm going
to, I always think it better to show than teach
people to tell, to show them and tell. So I want
you to tell me what's your favorite author book
just off the top of your head. The first thing
you think of Mel Robbins. Okay. Who's your favorite
speaker? It could be somebody you saw live at
a conference or on a TED Talk or somebody listening
on a podcast. Simon Sinek. Okay. And what's your
favorite quote? Like what's some someone you
quote or something you like to quote? Yeah. If
you want things you have never had, you got to
do things you've never done. I think that that
is anonymous, but yeah, I love that. Beautiful.
So what I like to tell people is when I'm doing
a women's leadership, I do a lot of mixed audiences
or all men sometimes. But when I'm doing all
women, I always start with that pop quiz. And
there's a reason. Because remember, I told you
it's four points, but three questions. What I'm
looking for, ladies, is I'm looking for you to
quote a woman, to tell me a woman speaker, and
to tell me a woman book. And really, the fourth
bonus point is to quote yourself or your book
or your speaking. And here's why ladies, I love,
I love men. I have an amazing husband, two beautiful
sons. but I watch women tell me they're empowerment
women, they're leadership women, and then I watch
them quote male after male after male, recommend
a man's book, a man speaker, offer men more to
speak than women. I thought the speaking world
would be very different than the financial, and
there'd be more women than men, and women would
get paid equal if not more. That's not true.
There's definitely more men than women, and men
are offered more money to speak than women, and
men demand more money than women. Women will
speak for free. 100 times more often than men,
90 times more often than men. So what I like
to teach, Michelle, just like you did, is it's
not a right or wrong answer. It's an awareness.
Oh my gosh. I love that you said Mel Rotman's
like, let's elevate women. If I'm a woman that
teaches women to lead and to be empowered, then
I better be speaking highly about women. I better
be saying, do you know my friend Michelle? She's
amazing. You should see her speak. You should
get on your podcast. You should coach with her.
Because if we are referring, And if we are recommending,
and if we are elevating, then let's do it with
women. And I can't take 100 % credit for this
though. I've become more and more aware of it
over the last 20 years. But when I wrote my second
book, Be the Exception, what happened is that
I was coaching with someone. I always have a
coach when I write a book because my brain is
broad and I sometimes need a little focus and
dyslexia. And she said to me, you have had so
many... amazing quotes. So many nuggets that
I've written down that you've said, Annie, over
the six months we worked together. And she said,
can I put some in the book? Can we add these
to the book? I think they're beautiful. I said,
oh yeah, that'd be great. I love quotes. And
she said, do you want to add other quotes? And
I said, absolutely. And she is in the publishing
world. And so she said, do you know that most
quotes in books are dead white men? And, you
know, even the books that are written by women
are dead men. And there's some extraordinary
male speakers out there and authors and coaches
and all the things. I agree. But if we do not
start elevating, the reason we have imposter
syndrome is because we don't hear enough women
elevated. The reason we have imposter syndrome
is because I myself go, Michelle's okay, but
I'm better. because we are not elevating each
other. And when we start to go, oh my gosh, I
am an amazing coach, but you gotta meet my friend
Michelle, because I'm kind of, my plate's full,
she's amazing. When we start elevating each other
and we start lifting up other women and referring
other women and as. Women meeting planners and
as women executives, we hire women and we don't
bully women. We celebrate women. You're balancing
family and your job. Congratulations. I'm going
to work with you. I'm going to be flexible with
you, not because you're a woman, but because
I want you to be successful in my company. And
that's what I really love to show women is to
have that awareness. How are you speaking about
other women? When someone says, hey, Michelle,
do you know any great speakers? Do you know a
great book? Are we talking about other women?
Because trust me. Men are referring men. And
occasionally, there are male allies that are
referring women. But for the most part, they
are referring other men. And I know, because
I hang out with a lot of professional speakers,
and I know who they refer. And I work with them,
and I'll ask them, oh, I told you this. And so
as women, if you want to get over imposter syndrome,
start to value yourself. And other women, start
to elevate and speak highly behind women's backs.
I would say, I spoke about you behind your back.
Let me just tell you, I did it in the most beautiful
way. Let's do that. Awesome. I love that. Break
the imposter center. Yeah. Oh, that's amazing.
Thank you for that. I mean, gosh, just so inspiring.
So I will be looking up and finding my favorite
quote from a woman now. You better believe it.
Mine is Maya Angelou. It is not what we say or
what we do, but it's how we make people feel.
that they will never forget. That is Maya Angelou,
a beautiful woman, and so there's so many great
quotes, so I can't wait to hear next time I see
you. What's your favorite book, your favorite
quote? Absolutely, thank you so much. Is there
anything else that you might say to... Say a
woman like us in our fifties that they've just
always done things one way the same way, and
they're just in a little comfort zone and just
really afraid to step out and try something to
do something different, be something different.
Anything else you might say to a woman in a spot
like that. Yeah, for sure. I always pretend to
be my 20s, but I think I'm 28 and all my kids
about age me, but I'm 57. And the first thing
I thought of Michelle is give yourself a lot
of grace. You are extraordinary. You have survived
over 50 years in this challenging world. Many
of you have bore children. What a miracle. Many
of you have given them deep roots and now you've
given them wings to fly and now you miss them
and you wonder what your identity is. Give yourself
a lot of grace and dream, dream big. Imagine
if tomorrow's my last day, have I made a big
enough impact? Have I encouraged enough? Have
I loved enough myself? And one thing I know about
middle -aged women is there's so much Oh my gosh,
20 year olds telling us how to be skinny and
how to be this and how to be that. And just like,
really, I have had five pregnancies. Please don't
tell me to do my, maybe my calorie deficit. Like,
stop it. You need to intermittent fast. Stop
it. Like, what about my value as a human being?
So first, grace. Second, dream. And third, get
with, again, a coach, an ally and encourage her
and say, this is what I'm at this job. I've been
here 20 years. I've been here. My kids have grown
up. Wherever you're at in your life. I kind of
have this vision. kind of have this and share
it out loud, articulate it with somebody who
is safe before you start putting it into practice.
But the world is your oyster is what I want to
say, but really just be, get support, dream big
and imagine what is my legacy. I always say every
day we're building our legacy. So you're at middle
age and there's a lot of noise in the world that
you're irrelevant or you're going to gain 50
pounds or you're going to have menopause and
be miserable or you're not good enough. Well,
that's not a true story. You're extraordinary
and you have great wisdom and the world needs
it. And we need face to face connections. So
get off social media and go knock on a friend's
door. And when they say their house isn't clean,
say, I do not care. I love you and I need quality
time with my girlfriend. So. That's my encouragement
is just keep dreaming and being all you can be
and get Michelle as your support if you need
it. So yes. Oh, thank you. That is so, so awesome.
Inspiring, inspiring. So Annie, for someone who
would love to reach out to you or connect with
you in some way, how, where can they find you?
Yeah. Annie Meehan is my website and I'm kind
of all over social media, but my website's where
my most videos and encouragement YouTube. Yeah,
AnnieMehan .com. I've got videos. I've got topics.
I've got books. I just, I try to use my written
and spoken word every day to encourage, inspire,
and show people to believe in themselves and
to rewrite those stories that do not serve them
because the world needs them. Oh, thank you so
much. What a gift. I really appreciate you joining
me today and being part of my show. Thank you,
Annie. I look forward to seeing just how high
you will soar and where you'll go. Thank you
so much for having me. Appreciate you. Thank
you so much for spending time with me today.
I am truly grateful that you chose to listen
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