Bill, where do you stand and grow in a mustache?
Do you have the do you have the lippage for that?
Do actually. And if you've ever met my dad, he's
rocked one for years. Oh, I have. And it's beautiful.
Yeah, it's pretty glorious. However, I grew facial
hair like every male I think we knew during the
pandemic and decided to shave it off. Was it
spotty? It just wasn't a good beard. Mine? Yeah.
And good mine grows in kind of like a taco meat.
It's a little here a little there. It's not it's
a little scattered Yeah, I don't I don't get
the best growth on the face here then somewhat
wiry and rough and I get very I'm more salt than
I am pepper now that could be distinguished though.
Mrs. Billy P from the D did not approve So really
okay. Happy wife. Happy life. Jackie was out.
Yeah, okay You're listening to the litter box
a Detroit Tigers podcast with your hosts Chet
West and Bill Patterson So Detroit Tigers litter
box listeners your co -hosts Chet and I Clearly
can't grow great facial hair and we are a week
into the spring training and there's not a whole
lot to report from the Tigers Melton has an injury
that's gonna seat him back for a little bit But
we thought instead of talking about the lack
of offense or, you know, trying to guess which
pitchers are going to make this 40 man, we're
going to talk about the all time best tiger mustaches
and or facial hair. And since it's already been
established that your co -hosts can't really
do it well, we thought we'd bring in a loyal
listener who grows a beard with the best of them.
And that would be R .B. Seeger. Welcome, R .B.
How are we doing, R .B.? Great, guys. Thanks.
Long time listener, first time caller. Great
having you on the show and can't wait for you
to shell out your experience and your expertise
in the area of lip luggage. I hope we hear some
interesting takes from you today. And this kind
of idea that I had with the tiger's mustache
off came from a friend of mine. Recent soccer
trip and he's like you guys should do a top ten
Tigers mustaches show or something And I was
like, you know for you since you drove me around
all weekend long. We're gonna get that done So
Adam this one's for you buddy Reeve tell us about
your facial hair experience. Well for those listening,
I'm bald I can't grow it up top, but I can grow
it on my face. And so Kind of as the saying goes
a bald guy they can the beard is kind of the
equivalent of a push -up bra So at least I've
got something to show Wow, that's a I have never
heard of it in those terms before but that is
Fantastic, and I will probably use that again
in the future. Well, thank you very much for
that Reeve So the format today Bill and I have
put together two lists of mustachioed tigers
from the past He's gonna throw one out. I'm gonna
throw one out. You're gonna give your your assessment
of these two gentlemen You can mention something
about their playing days, but also give us some
feedback Of course on their on their lip for
and your thoughts. How does that sound? Sounds
great. Excellent. Now we are not video so Descriptions
are gonna be useful here I've got some thoughts
on my mustaches that I've pulled out some of
the facial hair that I pulled out on these guys
Bill, I'm sure you'll have your own thoughts.
Reeve, your final take and assessment over who
wins the round. And if you could keep score,
that'd be great if you got a pen and a pad of
paper there. We're gonna see who picks the best
mustaches. Mine are all from the offense. Bill's
are all from pitching. So it's gonna be kind
of a pitching versus offense. We'll see which
guys wore it best. How's that sound? That sounds
great. I apologize for Gary in the background.
Yeah, no problem. Gary loves a good mustache
too. Harry's barking at delivery guys. I so one
thing I didn't notice bill and I don't know if
you saw this There weren't a lot of mustachioed
men prior to like 1968 on the roster. No find
any from back in the day. I Only go back as deep
as one Willie Horton not to tip the hat too much
But he's the first tiger that I could really
find I couldn't barely find him in a mustache
He did rock one Horton I looked, he's on the
offense and I was looking at offensive guys and
I could not find him in a decent mustache. It
must have been like pencil thin or something.
So then I had to go, you know, since my assignment
was pitchers to arguably the greatest relief
pitcher the Tigers have ever had. Is this your
first guy? Is this who you're throwing out first?
Yeah, I'm throwing him out first. Competition
begins. John Hiller. So everybody Googled that
and take a look at that. John Hiller. He looks...
And not only is it a great stash, but it's almost
Fu Manchu style. So he kind of looks like what
I envision Kane from Kung Fu would have looked
like had he been able to really rock the facial
hair, which he couldn't. So he's got the lip
burger up there, but then he's got the drapes
hanging down the left and right side. Is that
what I'm, is that kind of how I'm supposed to
envision this? Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to throw
a guy from a slightly later era here. Actually
not, not. too much later than John, probably
same era. He was a rookie around the same time.
A one Mr. Lou Whitaker. Now, the way I would
describe Lou's mustache, if you don't have a
good high def picture, which they weren't terribly
common back in the 70s, he had this thing groomed
tight like a putting green, probably like an
11 stimp on there or something. I mean, it is
a beautiful, tightly groomed stash. And I'm going
first with Lou. And this is kind of chronological,
but also not terribly chronological. Well, I'm
also doing mine kind of as an ode to the current
Tigers. I mean, why not pitch with chaos? So
why not lead off with a relief pitcher? Good
idea. Good idea. Reeve, assessment of the two
mustaches mentioned. Yeah, well you mentioned
Lou with an 11 on the stamp. Is that Puanah or
is that bent? That's that's a little feather
bed bent there. Okay. Okay. It's not Puanah.
He said Puanah would be a little gnarly. I think
I'm assuming I if I have it right Yeah, I gotta
go based off the picture I'm looking at with
John Hiller. Okay. He wins that contest. I understand.
I had to throw one out there that was a little
too tight and groomed first. I knew I was losing
to Hiller regardless. Yeah, he's got the green
and the fringe and the first cut. Yeah. Boy,
like a fairway out there. Yeah, yeah. All right.
Okay, I'm gonna go first on the second one. I'm
gonna throw Tom Brookens at you, Bill. Yeah,
have fun with this. Bushy? With also with shape
around the mouth This could have been a good
contender towards John Hiller Because he did
have a little overhang on the left and right
side there that he worked with for a while in
his later years He kind of touched those up and
it's just a straight across Just a just a just
a parking block there across the top of his upper
lip. Who do you have? Well first and foremost
great choice and I remember him having a broom
handle that would almost hang over his lip into
his mouth when he was playing, you know, strained
a lot of coffee first or third for the Tigers.
Well, going up against him, I'm going to go with
the most recent addition to my team that has
what I think is just a great look. And that is
Sawyer Gibson Long. He's OK. He is a redhead
or a ginge. And has it thin almost Jimmy Buffett
pencil thin mustache Clark Gable style But then
he's got a mullet going and he's got some stuff
down below the handlebars on the chin So he's
just got a lot going on and so that's why he's
my number two Interesting. I you know, I didn't
think I saw your gypsum long in that sense Reeve.
What are your thoughts? He's good. He's got the
flow, the hair too. But I'm more partial to Brookings.
More of a fan favorite. That's a tough one to
turn down. Here's a question for you. Yeah. What
was in between Brookings and Travis Freiman at
third? Between Brookings and Freiman at third
would have been... You're killing me right now.
What years were those? Like late 80s? Yeah. Did
we go through kind of a battery of guys in the
late 80s for the Tigers? Maybe. and not to get
us off track. We'll stick with Brookins on the
head -to -head against Sawyer. Kind of want to
look this up, though. I still want to see who
it is. I've got a couple names for you guys here.
Brookins played from 79 to 88, but moonlighting
or platooning with him was Hojo. Howard Johnson.
That's... Hojo went earlier, though. Hojo went
to the Mets earlier in the 80s, and then Brookins
kind of took over the role. He was out after
the 84 World Series. Another mustache, though.
He had a great mustache. I think it's required
to play third base. You had to have a mustache
in the 80s. Well, hold on. That's also another.
So why this next gentleman who I don't ever remember
having facial hair was only there for four seasons.
And that would be one Marty Castillo. That's
some. Yeah, that that might have been the guy
that filled in over there. I'm Marty Castillo
type. I have a feeling we bounced around a lot
in those years as far as our third baseman went.
I don't remember a guy sticking there. for very
long. Wasn't Tory Lovolo a third baseman at one
point in time in the late 80s, early 90s? I got
to bring you guys back to why we're here. We're
getting off track. Yeah, anyhow. OK, Bill, your
third sampling. Go with only my favorite T -shirt
of all time. And my brother -in -law, Brett,
and I saw it outside of Comerica Park. And it
was only the Lord saves more than Todd Jones.
when Todd Jones was a closer. Oh, so subsequently
we made our own t -shirts that said only the
Lord saves more than Todd Jones with the old
English D on the front. And if you look at this,
it's bushy, it's big, it's bold, it's tobacco
stained, it's coffee stained. It is glorious
in every weird, bad way possible. I feel like
I got to sacrifice somebody again because Todd
Jones is going to be really tough to beat. I'm
going to fling Chet Lemon at you. Another all
-business tight and structured stash. At times,
he would grow it out somewhat bushy. In his earlier
years, it was very tight. But as he got a little
older, it kind of bushed up a little bit on him.
But I know that's a loser. There's no way that
beats Todd Jones. Reeve, go ahead. Send me out
to pasture. I don't like putting the name Chet
with loser, so don't take it that way. I appreciate
that. I appreciate that. But it's Todd Jones
in a yeah, that's a walk. I mean unless you got
like a hot rod back on your roster You can go
up against with them. There's no way I've got
a couple guys that could have but I think I would
have lost one of my sure things To him. That's
a that's a top dog there. All right, I'll go
next. This is my third offering I'm gonna throw
Lance Parrish at you bill. Yeah wiry wiry Mustache,
but full and just at times a complete mess up
there a lighter shade Definitely a lighter shade
as she was almost like a not quite a strawberry
blonde But a very light brown hair gentleman,
and so I'm gonna throw Lance Parrish the catcher
at you And you know he starts off he starts off
a lot of the good catcher mustache as we've seen
over the years You got another one coming later
in the show. I might try to win with it. Might
be my clean up. But Lance Parrish was the first
of the catchers I found. I thought Bill Freehand
might have had one. Didn't have one. Who do you
have? He was clean shaven. Yeah, he was very
clean shaven. Even in the 70s. I'm going to stay
with one of his teammates and one that we listen
to often, who is Dan Dickerson's partner in the
box. One Peaches, Dan Petrie. A nice mustache.
A nice mustache. manicured pretty well, not overly
bushy, not overly wiry, just solid and respectful.
Is that when you think he takes a comb to it?
Absolutely. Yeah, that's a brush out mustache
right there. Reeve, thoughts? Dan Petrie, nice
guy. I've met him before. Nice. I've seen it
in person, solid mustache, but I got to go with
the big wheel. Yeah, yeah. I got to go with Parrish.
The big wheel had some tread on the tire, we'll
say. RB has an affinity for catchers, too. Yeah,
I didn't know that. Good. All right. I'm up two
to one. Bill, right? Is that true? No, three
to two to two. We're tied. Is it two to two?
Is that all we've done so far? Yeah, two to two.
OK. Yep. Keeping it moving. I am going to go
with senior smoke. Aurelio Lopez. Gosh, we're
going south of the border for this one. And here
we go. This is facial hair, but none of it's
good. This is as scratchy and as bad as you're
ever gonna see. It's all over the place. There's
hairs going east, west, north, south. It's ugly.
Unruly. Unruly. It's not good, but it deserves
to be on this list because he was the setup man
for the 84 Tigers. All right, I'm gonna give
you Rob Deer. Oof. Probably, probably more along
the lines of a come out mustache like Dan Petrie.
He definitely did some grooming to this thing.
He was business like for most of his career with
that thing. He was the all or nothing hitter
too. So he's kind of one of those guys. He was
an early, I think he kind of faded out of baseball
in his years with the Tigers. Potentially the
only guy to have more home runs than Arbia. That's,
that is very, is definitely more strikeouts than.
Anything else? Good call. Not mathematically
possible, but good call. Who do you like, Arby?
Who do you like in the mustache battle there?
I'll give it to Mr. Lopez. I would, too. That's
a tough one to lose, but I'll give you Rob Deer.
I'm going to sacrifice him on Aurelio. All right,
you're up next, Chet. Who are you bringing to
the diamond? This one... So for some odd reason,
mustaches tend to remind me of sausage. And I
don't know why encased meats. I'm not sure why.
I think it's the super fan skit from SNL back
in the day. But this guy, Champ Summers, had
a thick mustache. And this thing was a good inch
off his face. Looked like a bratwurst went up
and just died on his upper lip. I love champ
summer's mustache wasn't in wasn't on the squad
for a terribly long time. But an early 80s tiger
fan remembers champ summers pretty well. Who
do you have? I'm going to bring in he wasn't
a tiger for long and they certainly weren't good
when he was there. They did bring him back for
a cup of coffee, but he didn't make the squad
and then ended up pitching for the Reds. Andrew
Chaffin. He literally has a blonde, curly fro
on his head that just extends down his cheeks
and sideburn area and fills in so beautifully,
both beneath his lower lip and above his upper
lip. He is truly a gifted, follicle person. Just
great head of hair, great stache. Geez, I think
I'm going down by two. Reeve, thoughts? Yeah,
so nothing against champ summers and I didn't
I had to look him up good good Nothing against
them never heard of them, but I had to look them
up And a great mustache, but yeah Chafin wins
that one. Yeah, that's I thought I wish he hung
around or was able to hang around able to hang
around maybe yeah more more so I do have a quick
question though. Yes, because a mustache can
be a part of a beard now Could the person have
a beard? So here's the thing, I think it depends
on how it accentuates the mustache. Now you have
a full beard right now, so you've got a full
deal going on. It doesn't really accentuate the
mustache as much. Do you remember Eddie Murray
from the early 80s, late 70s, Eddie Murray, the
Orioles? Not the kicker. He had the, not the
kicker, not the kicker, the baseball player.
He had the Lamb chops that came down and stopped
and then went up into a mustache over the top
but shaved the chin. So it's kind of like a beard
that went into a mustache with no chin fur. That
really accentuated the mustache. To me, that's
what I would look for if I was going after a
bearded mustache. That's a much better look than
someone that has a beard but does not have the
mustache. Would you do that? Could you at some
point shave just the chin area and give us that
connector? Give us that jowl up and over the
lip and then back down other jowl up to the sideburns.
Could you do that? Yeah, I can't do it right
now. But at some point, and we'll post it on
our social media. Okay. All right. So where are
we at? I've lost track here. What have we drifted
off to? Chafin? I've won four. I think you've
won four. I have two. Four to three. Four to
two. Four to two. Four to two. But am I up or
are you up? I gave Champ Summers is the last
one, I believe. Yeah, and he was a sacrificial
lamb to Andrew Chafin. Andrew Chafin you just
countered with brilliantly. Okay, you're up.
You're first. I'm first? Okay. Yeah. I'm gonna
go with... Probably one of my favorite if not
favorite pictures of the Tigers of all time and
that was black Jack Morris Oh, I know he had
great success above or you know across the border
in Toronto and in your neck of the woods Chet
for the twins where he was from His mustache
let's describe it for someone that didn't appear
to be a ginger. It is very gingery and it grayed
And it looks like two huge fuzzy caterpillars
met on either side beneath his nose and just
kind of came together beneath his nose. It was
a plow. It was a full plow. This is getting so
difficult because I'm starting to realize pictures
may be where the talent lies on the mustachioed
men in baseball. I'm going to throw Riley Green
at you. Yeah. Riley Green's temporary stash.
Like a caterpillar resting up there was incredible
and it really popped I mean the color and everything
just it's like he used hair club for men on it
to make it pop more Than it normally would it
was so dark. So I'm gonna throw Riley green out
there I know it was temporary, but the bats did
heat up after he did it last season And so I
give a little tribute to a rally cry there We've
yeah, and it was fantastic. I wish Riley would
wear that more often But it was temporary, and
you've got to give it to Blackjack. I'm in deep
trouble with the hitters right now. I have a
feeling I'm down five, two, and we only have
three stashes left. The best I can hope for is
a tie at this point, I believe. Is that correct?
Yeah, I think you probably you've got one. You've
got one winner. I've got one winner. I got one
winner. I got a sneaky one coming up. And then
it's just a dice roll who he can throw out there.
I'm not. Not sure that I can win at this juncture,
but I'm going to give it a shot here. I'm first
right on this next round. Yes, I am throwing
Johnny walk and fuss at you. Solid. I'm going
to counter with one of his teammates. I'll be
a brief period and that would be. Willie Guillermo
Hernandez, your 1984 Roll Aids Relief Picture
of the Year and ALMVP. When I think of the guys
south of the border, not as wild as Aurelio Lopez's
mustache. Much more businesslike. Yeah, more
manicured. Yes, yes. Reeve, thoughts? Yeah, Johnny
Walkenfuss against Willie Hernandez and feel
free to pull up some images and judge for yourself
Yeah, I am just to keep things interesting and
rolling. We'll give it to the Walkenfuss I feel
like the Walkenfuss last name goes with a mustache
for some reason and Yeah, honey, and he was a
catcher and he was a catcher So I get that, too.
Like Willie, Willie was a great pitcher, but
his mustache was fairly pedestrian in a lot of
ways. But I mean, really and truly, it should
be Guillermo Hernandez. You think? Yeah, but
we're giving it to Johnny Walkenfuss. You're
going to give me the point anyways on Walkenfuss
for that? To make it five, five, three? Five,
three. Was it five, three? Yeah. Ugh. I got to
keep myself in this thing somehow. All right.
Bill, you're up. We got two left. This is the
worst mustache of all time, so this is pretty
much a gimme for ya. And he grew one, but he
was blonde and curly, and caught the nation by
storm. But he grew a mustache that was so faint
that you could barely tell that it was on his
lip unless it was a close -up where you met him
in person. Mark the bird fidry. You know, I looked
at Fidrick when we were doing this and I was
like, does he have a mustache? Could he throw
Fidrick? I'll tell you, I'm going to throw you.
Well, wait, can I give a visual real quick? Yeah,
do it. Give us the visual. Larry Bird's mustache
for our listeners, but even thinner, finer follicles
and lighter. So barely noticeable. Like a Rick
Smith's or yes shrimp. Yes an Indiana mustache,
even though he was from Massachusetts Indiana
mustache. That's fabulous a blonde Okay, I'll
tell you what I gotta stay in this thing and
the only way I'm gonna be able to do is if I
throw Jake Rogers at it and take this point Oh
and get myself to five four Reef, where do you
stand on that comparison? Yes, that's a gimme
right? RIP the Birdman And there's so many stories
there and even chat back into different work
days on what he went on to do after pitching
a huge fan of the bird. He had a magical season,
but there's you're not meeting. There's no way
the Indiana mustache is going to beat the walrus.
Jake Rogers takes all comers. That was my that
was my trump card right there. I played it. So
we're at five four at this juncture. We're going
to our last stash here. OK, I'm going to go first.
I'm down to one guy basically, and that's Larry
Herndon, the Brillo pad, if you will. And it's
it's thick. It's tight. It's like it's literally
a Brillo pad sitting on top of his lip. I loved
Larry Herndon. Not everybody loved Larry Herndon.
I loved Larry Herndon back in the day. I would
have used him as maybe the setup guy, but Bill
just had too much firepower today. Bill how do
you counter? I'm going off the reservation a
little bit He's an honorary tiger and so important
in our history last year He joined the neti and
dirks in the broadcasting booth and said that
his role is Magnum PI Opened up a ton of doors
because it was one of the first television shows
that like employed Vietnam vets, which Wouldn't
have recognized or realized because I was too
young and you were too young, but I'm gonna go
honorary tiger fan Tom Selleck Magnum No, my
gosh. I is not a pitcher. You're pulling out
a guy's not even a pitcher You're going into
the beyond the bullpen. You're pulling people
out of the stands. All right, that's a good pull.
That's a good pull It's a great state and he
had to be called out. He had to be called out
somehow if there were GQ or Mount Rushmore of
stashes, Tom Selleck would have to be on it.
Nobody can do a head turn to the camera in the
middle of the show and give a look. And then
that stash just waves right around. And with
the hat, the tiger hat, they blended together
really well. OK, I get it. I think I lost. I
don't think. Yeah, you lost. Yeah. So I gave
you walking foot. You did. Johnny walking foot.
There were no more gimmies. Now, Brookens, Parrish,
and Rogers are no doubters, but I think Billy
P. had a little bit more consistent. The hitters
just didn't have the character in the stash that
the pitchers had. Now, if you don't mind, just
quickly, and you can comment afterwards. I've
got a few here that were not mentioned. I was
about to ask you, as somebody might... As a third
party might do an error review or a recount of
what we did, did we miss anything? Did we miss
anyone? Well, I'm surprised no one brought up
Jimmy Leland. Not a pitcher, not a hitter. But
I mean, if I pulled a page out of Bill's book,
that would have been the one to throw out there
against Magnum P .I. there, Tom Selleck. Man,
really missed on that. Really missed that. And
now some others that were maybe not there that
long, Pete and Cavalier, Matt Stairs. Matt Stairs.
Had a great one. Bravo, Reeve. Dave Bergman.
Dave Bergman had a nice mustache. Dave Bergman
did have a nice mustache. Unfortunately, he was
in an era when they all looked the same to a
degree or another. And I had like three guys
lined up and they were all tight and I had to
pick somebody. Tony Phillips had a good mustache.
Tony Phillips would have been a good one, yep.
I think the Mad Dog. Didn't Madlock have one
too? Bill Madlock. How many years did he play
for the Tigers? Like one? Was it his waning?
That was like it, right? But he was glorious
at the base. He was glorious. And the Tigers
didn't have a lot to show at that time, so he
was... Was that in the Bobby Higginson day, like
early 90s when Madlock was wrapping things up,
or was that late 80s? I think late 80s. Late
80s, I think. That was more like the Matt Nokes
era catcher. Mike Heath, Matt Nokes. Mike Heath,
Matt Nokes era, yeah. Anybody else? No, you know
what? We might have had... Who was the guy that
came from Texas? Terry. Terry. Terry. Not Terry.
Who was the catcher that came over? He might
have been a DH. I think he's a DH. I think you're
thinking... Not Pete and Kavelia, is it? No,
not Pete and Kavelia. No. Anyhow. Ah, never mind.
Is that... Those are all the extra mustaches
you've got. Yeah, Cecil. Those were good. I had
him on my list, but I didn't think he was nearly
strong enough after I lost a couple. I could
not throw him out there. If I had to go to an
extra round, I would have had to throw Cecil
out there. Probably would have been a loss. I
think there's probably some others, but I missed
a few there. I missed Matt Stairs. I probably
could have won a round with him. I missed. I
missed. Who was the big one? Well, Leland. If
I'd known that I could pull a non -hitter out
of my back pocket and use that, that would have
probably been... and a great, a great competitor
to Mr. Selleck. At any rate, well, Bill, that
was fun. Reed, thank you for judging. Thank you,
Reeve, so appreciated. Appreciate your judging.
Mickey, Mickey Tattleton, that's who I was thinking
of. Mickey, he's still going. He's going to sit
here all night thinking of mustachioed tigers.
He didn't have a mustache. You know who else
had a mustache? This guy had a mustache. I'm
going to get texts all night on this right now.
He wanted to have one. Man. This is what happens
when you, you know, I crammed for the test and
this is what happens. Well, good victory, Bill.
I think we proved pitchers in Tiger lore probably
have a little stronger mustache game than hitters.
What do we want to say to the folks? RB Seeger,
you want to, you want to sign us off? This was
a pleasure. Most fun I've had all day. Good.
It's four o 'clock on a Friday. So very good.
All right, folks. Thanks for listening. We tried
to have a little fun. We'll get back with some
spring training news. Bless you, boys. Thank
you. Bless you, boys. Go Tigers. If you're enjoying
the show, be sure to follow or subscribe on Spotify,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
And hey, if you got a minute, leave us a quick
review. Till next time, Go Tigers!