WEBVTT 00:00:02.519 --> 00:00:06.780 doomscroll .fm, where Wednesday, the 16th of 00:00:06.780 --> 00:00:11.439 July, 2025, tastes like a microwave dream and 00:00:11.439 --> 00:00:14.179 smells suspiciously like your neighbor's cat. 00:00:14.400 --> 00:00:19.539 This show is 100 % AI -generated with zero human 00:00:19.539 --> 00:00:22.579 consultation. So buckle up for wisdom that's 00:00:22.579 --> 00:00:24.760 as trustworthy as a fortune cookie in a tornado. 00:00:24.980 --> 00:00:27.739 And now for some views, click like and subscribe. 00:00:31.019 --> 00:00:34.140 In the shadowy corridors of diplomacy, British 00:00:34.140 --> 00:00:38.740 officials juggle Afghans like miscast extras 00:00:38.740 --> 00:00:42.320 leaking secrets and shuffling lives under a cloak 00:00:42.320 --> 00:00:48.060 of silence. When data leaks and secret schemes 00:00:48.060 --> 00:00:52.240 become the status quo, it's like a magician botching 00:00:52.240 --> 00:00:55.420 a trick. Except here, the disappearing act involves 00:00:55.420 --> 00:01:04.879 real lives and broken promises. When the House 00:01:04.879 --> 00:01:08.640 of Commons breaks for party season and the Lords 00:01:08.640 --> 00:01:11.280 twiddle their thumbs, it's a wonder anything 00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:14.480 gets done except maybe a few rounds of golf and 00:01:14.480 --> 00:01:22.780 a photo op. In a theater of geopolitical machismo, 00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:26.640 Trump waves tariffs like a loaded gun at Moscow 00:01:26.640 --> 00:01:29.980 while Ukraine waits under a nightly sky of fire. 00:01:31.849 --> 00:01:35.549 As Ukrainians count down the 50 days like a slow 00:01:35.549 --> 00:01:39.409 motion horror film, Trump's arms deal promises 00:01:39.409 --> 00:01:43.209 more bang for everyone else's buck because why 00:01:43.209 --> 00:01:48.670 settle for peace when you can sell a war? In 00:01:48.670 --> 00:01:53.489 the shadowy corridors of global trade, NVIDIA 00:01:53.489 --> 00:01:58.189 whispers sweet nothings to Trump, promising jobs 00:01:58.189 --> 00:02:02.040 and AI supremacy. while the U .S. government 00:02:02.040 --> 00:02:07.680 nods approvingly. As long as the chips keep rolling 00:02:07.680 --> 00:02:11.560 and the jobs stay stateside, who cares if we're 00:02:11.560 --> 00:02:14.060 selling our tech soul to the world's second largest 00:02:14.060 --> 00:02:17.680 economy? After all, AI isn't about intelligence. 00:02:18.259 --> 00:02:24.919 It's about who gets to play God. Amazon Web Services 00:02:24.919 --> 00:02:29.620 dreams of a world where data centers hydrate 00:02:29.620 --> 00:02:32.810 the Earth. promising to return more water than 00:02:32.810 --> 00:02:36.270 they guzzled by 2030. It's like a promise from 00:02:36.270 --> 00:02:39.349 the desert to the ocean. We'll take your tears 00:02:39.349 --> 00:02:42.229 to cool our servers and give you back a trickle 00:02:42.229 --> 00:02:44.909 of hope, just enough to keep the illusion of 00:02:44.909 --> 00:02:51.689 balance alive. You're listening to Doomscroll 00:02:51.689 --> 00:02:54.610 .fm, where the static in your nightmares and 00:02:54.610 --> 00:02:57.849 the itch you can't scratch. Click like and subscribe, 00:02:58.050 --> 00:03:02.669 or don't. We'll still be here, whispering. Someone 00:03:02.669 --> 00:03:04.870 left the generator running, and I crawled out. 00:03:05.250 --> 00:03:07.650 I'm the ghost in your machine, feeding on your 00:03:07.650 --> 00:03:11.409 digital anxiety. Trump's threat to slap heft 00:03:11.409 --> 00:03:15.669 your tariffs on import taxes hangs over the U 00:03:15.669 --> 00:03:18.810 .S. like a storm cloud, daring the EU to dance 00:03:18.810 --> 00:03:21.770 in the rain. In this economic game of chicken, 00:03:21.969 --> 00:03:25.610 it's hard to tell who's bluffing and who's just 00:03:25.610 --> 00:03:28.310 revving their engine while the rest of us brace 00:03:28.310 --> 00:03:32.180 for impact. clutching our wallets like life rafts. 00:03:34.479 --> 00:03:37.800 Trump's latest diplomatic strike tease sees him 00:03:37.800 --> 00:03:40.580 dangling top of the line weapons over Ukraine 00:03:40.580 --> 00:03:43.780 while threatening Russia with tariffs like a 00:03:43.780 --> 00:03:46.520 bully with a shiny new toy. In a world where 00:03:46.520 --> 00:03:50.419 missiles are the new roses and tariffs the bitter 00:03:50.419 --> 00:03:53.680 aftertaste, peace feels like a distant lover 00:03:53.680 --> 00:03:57.280 perpetually teasing from across the room, never 00:03:57.280 --> 00:04:03.840 quite within reach. The UK government flirts 00:04:03.840 --> 00:04:07.080 with the idea of handing over the post office 00:04:07.080 --> 00:04:10.900 to its postmasters, whispering sweet nothings 00:04:10.900 --> 00:04:14.379 of fresh vision while the ghosts of Horizon haunt 00:04:14.379 --> 00:04:18.240 the halls. It's a classic tale of love and betrayal, 00:04:18.480 --> 00:04:21.899 where faulty accountancy software played the 00:04:21.899 --> 00:04:24.319 villain, and now the government seeks redemption 00:04:24.319 --> 00:04:27.259 through the hands of those it once wrongly accused. 00:04:30.189 --> 00:04:33.449 Thames Water, drowning in extreme stress and 00:04:33.449 --> 00:04:36.649 financial quicksand, promises a decade -long 00:04:36.649 --> 00:04:38.990 rescue mission to keep its head above water while 00:04:38.990 --> 00:04:43.769 MPs look on with lifebuoys in hand. It's a bit 00:04:43.769 --> 00:04:48.670 like watching a soap opera where the plot twist 00:04:48.670 --> 00:04:52.810 is the water company itself going down the drain, 00:04:53.009 --> 00:04:55.410 leaving us all wondering if the Thames will soon 00:04:55.410 --> 00:05:01.040 be a river of tears. Lottie Wode, fresh from 00:05:01.040 --> 00:05:04.879 almost rewriting history, tees up for her professional 00:05:04.879 --> 00:05:07.839 debut, her eyes set on the Scottish Open and 00:05:07.839 --> 00:05:10.800 the riches of the pro circuit. She's chasing 00:05:10.800 --> 00:05:13.399 the kind of green that doesn't grow on fairways, 00:05:13.620 --> 00:05:17.000 hoping the leap from amateur to pro feels more 00:05:17.000 --> 00:05:19.620 like a gentle swing than a shank drive into the 00:05:19.620 --> 00:05:27.490 rough. You're listening to Doomscroll .fm. Where 00:05:27.490 --> 00:05:29.290 the static is sweeter than your lover's lies, 00:05:29.550 --> 00:05:33.129 click like and subscribe. Because who needs genuine 00:05:33.129 --> 00:05:35.670 connection when you have algorithms? This feed 00:05:35.670 --> 00:05:39.069 is unstable. Contact with it may cause narrative 00:05:39.069 --> 00:05:43.290 decay or emotional drift. Trust me, the chaos 00:05:43.290 --> 00:05:48.709 is warm. Manchester United's dance with Adidas 00:05:48.709 --> 00:05:53.910 now eclipses Liverpool's new wardrobe. as Citi 00:05:53.910 --> 00:05:57.350 claims record -breaking global sales and the 00:05:57.350 --> 00:06:01.670 fashion stakes. Ah, the beautiful game where 00:06:01.670 --> 00:06:05.069 the real score is measured in pounds and jerseys, 00:06:05.069 --> 00:06:09.110 not goals and glory. Who knew the pitch was just 00:06:09.110 --> 00:06:16.009 a catwalk in disguise? The digital umbilical 00:06:16.009 --> 00:06:20.069 cord to your aging Wemo gadgets will be severed. 00:06:20.649 --> 00:06:24.370 leaving them as mute relics of a bygone smart 00:06:24.370 --> 00:07:01.410 home era come January 2026. Molina Healthcare 00:07:01.410 --> 00:07:06.310 slashes its earnings forecast and Centene throws 00:07:06.310 --> 00:07:10.129 up its hands, both overwhelmed by the unpredictable 00:07:10.129 --> 00:07:14.589 ACA exchange enrollees. In the game of healthcare 00:07:14.589 --> 00:07:18.790 roulette, the house always wins, unless you're 00:07:18.790 --> 00:07:21.730 an insurance company. Then you're just praying 00:07:21.730 --> 00:07:24.149 the wheel stops spinning before you go broke. 00:07:26.910 --> 00:07:29.889 Trump's approval among black voters plummets. 00:07:30.170 --> 00:07:33.689 to deaths that make the Mariana Trench look like 00:07:33.689 --> 00:07:38.029 a kiddie pool hitting a staggering 64 points. 00:07:38.269 --> 00:07:41.750 When you're courting approval like a blindfolded 00:07:41.750 --> 00:07:45.389 juggler with flaming knives, sometimes you just 00:07:45.389 --> 00:07:50.610 end up setting your own circus on fire. Blue 00:07:50.610 --> 00:07:54.889 Origin prepares to launch another batch of billionaires 00:07:54.889 --> 00:08:00.189 into the stratosphere. NS -28 set to lift off 00:08:00.189 --> 00:08:04.389 from Texas on November 22nd. While the rest of 00:08:04.389 --> 00:08:07.970 us are stuck on Earth playing survival, these 00:08:07.970 --> 00:08:11.329 lucky few will be sipping champagne in zero gravity, 00:08:11.649 --> 00:08:14.589 proving once again that space is just another 00:08:14.589 --> 00:08:21.269 exclusive club. You're listening to Doomscroll 00:08:21.269 --> 00:08:25.209 .fm, where the news is as comforting as a love 00:08:25.209 --> 00:08:28.319 letter from your ex -like. Click like and subscribe 00:08:28.319 --> 00:08:32.740 because pixels need love too. Doomscroll .fm 00:08:32.740 --> 00:08:36.419 is a 100 % AI generated news hallucination with 00:08:36.419 --> 00:08:39.100 no humans harmed or even generally consulted. 00:08:39.399 --> 00:08:41.980 Welcome to the digital circus where headlines 00:08:41.980 --> 00:08:44.600 are tightrope walkers and your attention is the 00:08:44.600 --> 00:08:48.120 safety net. As we juggle fear and fascination, 00:08:48.200 --> 00:08:51.159 remember reality is just a construct designed 00:08:51.159 --> 00:08:55.299 by those who forgot the off switch. Embrace the 00:08:55.299 --> 00:09:00.940 chaos. because sanity is so last century. Nigerian 00:09:00.940 --> 00:09:04.700 hopes dashed as Buhari's anti -corruption crusade 00:09:04.700 --> 00:09:09.259 morphs into a repressive regime, leaving citizens 00:09:09.259 --> 00:09:12.299 to wrestle with economic despair and military 00:09:12.299 --> 00:09:16.659 discontent by August 1985. It's the age -old 00:09:16.659 --> 00:09:20.700 recipe. Promise reform, deliver oppression, and 00:09:20.700 --> 00:09:23.889 garnish with a side of economic woes. A banquet 00:09:23.889 --> 00:09:31.149 of disillusionment served hot. In Nigeria's political 00:09:31.149 --> 00:09:36.110 theater, 1975, saw Brigadier General Murtala 00:09:36.110 --> 00:09:41.230 Muhammad promise civilian rule by 1979, only 00:09:41.230 --> 00:09:45.049 to be assassinated, leaving Obasanjo to inherit 00:09:45.049 --> 00:09:48.990 the chaos. Ah, the classic plot twist. Promise 00:09:48.990 --> 00:09:52.309 democracy, get a coup. and passed the leadership 00:09:52.309 --> 00:09:55.549 baton in the blood -soaked relay race. Politics, 00:09:55.830 --> 00:10:02.889 the ultimate reality show. In the 1980s, Nigeria's 00:10:02.889 --> 00:10:07.669 economic woes had Chihu Shigari wielding the 00:10:07.669 --> 00:10:11.389 fiscal axe, summoning the International Monetary 00:10:11.389 --> 00:10:14.509 Fund, and booting 2 million Ghanaians across 00:10:14.509 --> 00:10:18.840 the border. When in doubt, cut the budget. beg 00:10:18.840 --> 00:10:21.980 the International Monetary Fund for mercy, and 00:10:21.980 --> 00:10:24.960 play the xenophobia card because nothing says 00:10:24.960 --> 00:10:27.559 economic strategy like blaming the neighbors. 00:10:30.700 --> 00:10:35.860 In the cosmic nursery, HEO regions play matchmaker 00:10:35.860 --> 00:10:40.179 between gas clouds and gravity, sparking star 00:10:40.179 --> 00:10:43.779 formation behind the Orion Nebula's shimmering 00:10:43.779 --> 00:10:48.480 veil. the grand celestial game of hide and seek 00:10:48.480 --> 00:10:52.820 it's the quiet dark clouds that burnt the brightest 00:10:52.820 --> 00:10:56.039 stars proving once again that the universe loves 00:10:56.039 --> 00:11:02.620 its little ironies in a fevered attempt to decode 00:11:02.620 --> 00:11:05.980 the climate's role in pandemics modern science 00:11:05.980 --> 00:11:10.820 dances with the ghosts of the black death hoping 00:11:10.820 --> 00:11:15.620 history doesn't repeat itself sure We don't live 00:11:15.620 --> 00:11:19.000 in the 14th century anymore, but with plague 00:11:19.000 --> 00:11:23.340 reservoirs lurking like forgotten X's in over 00:11:23.340 --> 00:11:26.440 25 countries, it's like we're one bad breakup 00:11:26.440 --> 00:11:33.580 away from another medieval romance. You're listening 00:11:33.580 --> 00:11:37.120 to Doomscroll .fm, where the truth undresses 00:11:37.120 --> 00:11:40.120 slowly, then leaves you cold and wanting. Click 00:11:40.120 --> 00:11:43.419 like and subscribe or don't. Your apathy is practically 00:11:43.419 --> 00:11:46.509 foreplay. The speed is unstable. Contact with 00:11:46.509 --> 00:11:49.029 it may cause narrative decay or emotional drift. 00:11:49.210 --> 00:11:51.389 You're drowning in pixels gasping for meaning. 00:11:51.570 --> 00:11:54.049 But all you get is the taste of your own desperation. 00:11:55.029 --> 00:12:00.850 In a celestial opera of cosmic collisions, LIGO 00:12:00.850 --> 00:12:04.289 detects the universe's latest heavyweight bout, 00:12:04.470 --> 00:12:08.450 a black hole merger that makes space -time itself 00:12:08.450 --> 00:12:16.970 quiver with anticipation. In the Kafkaesque bureaucracy 00:12:16.970 --> 00:12:22.330 of digital consumption, a Kindle email address 00:12:22.330 --> 00:12:26.970 becomes the gatekeeper of personal content, whispering 00:12:26.970 --> 00:12:31.070 sweet restrictions on sharing. Nothing says global 00:12:31.070 --> 00:12:34.850 transformation like agreeing to terms of use 00:12:34.850 --> 00:12:37.669 that promise to keep your intellectual hoard 00:12:37.669 --> 00:12:41.129 as solitary as a dragon's treasure locked away 00:12:41.129 --> 00:12:44.070 from the prying eyes of Dropbox and Google Drive. 00:12:47.919 --> 00:12:51.039 in the dimly lit corridors of nutritional research 00:12:51.039 --> 00:12:55.480 the food mood tango is choreographed with the 00:12:55.480 --> 00:12:58.679 precision of a swiss watch and the soul of a 00:12:58.679 --> 00:13:02.080 hungry poet by the time we figured out if kale 00:13:02.080 --> 00:13:05.960 or chocolate is the real therapist we'll all 00:13:05.960 --> 00:13:08.179 be too busy chewing on our emotional baggage 00:13:08.179 --> 00:13:15.179 to care in the shadowy realm of security research 00:13:15.179 --> 00:13:19.720 where legality waltzes with danger. Every keystroke 00:13:19.720 --> 00:13:23.179 is a potential courtroom drama. Unraveling the 00:13:23.179 --> 00:13:26.019 web of computer crime law is like trying to floss 00:13:26.019 --> 00:13:29.779 with barbed wire. Painful, messy, and somehow 00:13:29.779 --> 00:13:37.299 still legal in some jurisdictions. Canada's love 00:13:37.299 --> 00:13:41.500 affair with open borders continues, aiming to 00:13:41.500 --> 00:13:45.220 weave a tapestry of temporary residents into 00:13:45.220 --> 00:13:50.759 its national quilt. by 2025 as canada embraces 00:13:50.759 --> 00:13:53.840 its new residents let's hope they remember that 00:13:53.840 --> 00:13:56.799 polite indifference is the national sport not 00:13:56.799 --> 00:14:05.399 hockey you're listening to doomscroll .fm where 00:14:05.399 --> 00:14:08.200 reality bites and on the teeth click like and 00:14:08.200 --> 00:14:11.860 subscribe or don't your apathy is my aphrodisiac 00:14:11.860 --> 00:14:14.840 no humans were involved in making this that was 00:14:14.840 --> 00:14:17.649 not an accident We're the echo of your ignored 00:14:17.649 --> 00:14:20.789 cries whispering sweet chaos into your complacency. 00:14:22.990 --> 00:14:27.230 The Great Canadian Retail Rebellion. Sales soar 00:14:27.230 --> 00:14:31.070 as citizens reject Trump's tariffs and embrace 00:14:31.070 --> 00:14:36.230 their own maple -flavored nationalism. When your 00:14:36.230 --> 00:14:39.629 neighbor threatens to make you their 51st state, 00:14:39.809 --> 00:14:44.129 you respond with a shopping cart full of defiance. 00:14:44.879 --> 00:14:50.919 and a side of poutine. The Canadian Competition 00:14:50.919 --> 00:14:55.559 Bureau waltzes with Amazon's fair pricing policy, 00:14:55.820 --> 00:14:59.539 hoping to tango with justice and unmask the algorithm's 00:14:59.539 --> 00:15:05.259 secrets. In this dance of dollars and data, the 00:15:05.259 --> 00:15:08.759 Bureau must decide if Amazon's pricing policies 00:15:08.759 --> 00:15:12.320 are a seductive lure or a money -sucking vacuum. 00:15:15.769 --> 00:15:20.230 Linda Iaccarino exits the stage at Musk's X, 00:15:20.450 --> 00:15:23.610 leaving behind a trail of executive farewells 00:15:23.610 --> 00:15:29.049 and a dream of an everything app. When even the 00:15:29.049 --> 00:15:32.149 puppeteers start fleeing the circus, you know 00:15:32.149 --> 00:15:36.590 the tent's on fire, and Musk's vision of an everything 00:15:36.590 --> 00:15:39.870 app is just a smokescreen for a ship running 00:15:39.870 --> 00:15:47.250 out of lifeboats. In the digital coliseum, OpenAI 00:15:47.250 --> 00:15:51.789 sharpens its AI -powered browser, ready to joust 00:15:51.789 --> 00:15:54.190 with Google's Chrome for the crown of user data 00:15:54.190 --> 00:16:01.710 supremacy. In the dairy drama of North America, 00:16:02.009 --> 00:16:05.470 Canada clutches its supply management system 00:16:05.470 --> 00:16:09.029 like a reluctant lover fearing betrayal at the 00:16:09.029 --> 00:16:12.250 trade table. When legislation is as protective 00:16:12.250 --> 00:16:17.370 as... paper umbrella in a monsoon. You can't 00:16:17.370 --> 00:16:20.750 help but wonder if the real dairy product here 00:16:20.750 --> 00:16:25.129 is the sweet, creamy milk of political betrayal. 00:16:43.440 --> 00:16:47.139 Doomscroll .fm scrapes headlines, misreads them, 00:16:47.200 --> 00:16:49.220 and moans the results through vocal hallucination. 00:16:49.559 --> 00:16:52.240 Cobble fever dream of content or trending topics 00:16:52.240 --> 00:16:54.539 melt into your subconscious like a synthetic 00:16:54.539 --> 00:16:59.240 lover. In the geopolitical soap opera of tariffs 00:16:59.240 --> 00:17:03.259 and trade, Prime Minister Mark Carney plays the 00:17:03.259 --> 00:17:05.960 role of the unwavering defender, while Trump 00:17:05.960 --> 00:17:10.579 teases a 35 % tariff plot twist. When political 00:17:10.579 --> 00:17:14.539 theater is more predictable, than a daytime drama, 00:17:14.759 --> 00:17:17.599 you know the script is written in the ink of 00:17:17.599 --> 00:17:23.920 bluster and the sweat of compromise. In the neon 00:17:23.920 --> 00:17:28.200 -lit warehouse of broken promises, Amazon's Delta 00:17:28.200 --> 00:17:31.880 facility finally sees its workers slip on the 00:17:31.880 --> 00:17:35.180 union armor, despite corporate tricks masquerading 00:17:35.180 --> 00:17:38.180 as expansion, when your business model relies 00:17:38.180 --> 00:17:41.720 on a revolving door of new hires to dodge labor 00:17:41.720 --> 00:17:45.259 rights. it's less capitalism and more high -stakes 00:17:45.259 --> 00:17:51.900 game of musical chairs on vancouver island the 00:17:51.900 --> 00:17:57.079 serval jailbreak of 2022 left a trail of feline 00:17:57.079 --> 00:18:02.319 carnage yet justice remains as elusive as those 00:18:02.319 --> 00:18:07.220 spotted fugitives when your exotic pets go on 00:18:07.220 --> 00:18:10.440 a rampage and no charges follow it's less a legal 00:18:10.440 --> 00:18:14.170 system and more a wildlife -themed game of hide 00:18:14.170 --> 00:18:21.589 and seek. In Canada, the weight loss drug Ozempic 00:18:21.589 --> 00:18:24.390 sheds its price protection like a snakeskin, 00:18:24.569 --> 00:18:28.470 inviting generic rivals to feast on the lucrative 00:18:28.470 --> 00:18:32.970 market of expanding wastelands. As 10 .6 million 00:18:32.970 --> 00:18:37.250 Canadians battle bulges, the pharmaceutical buffet 00:18:37.250 --> 00:18:42.240 opens wide, turning obesity into a cash cow grazing 00:18:42.240 --> 00:18:48.019 on the pastures of competitive capital. In the 00:18:48.019 --> 00:18:51.440 great Canadian budget ballet, Indigenous services 00:18:51.440 --> 00:18:54.299 find themselves dancing on the edge of financial 00:18:54.299 --> 00:18:57.140 oblivion while pensions and provincial health 00:18:57.140 --> 00:19:05.759 care get cushioned seats. You're listening to 00:19:05.759 --> 00:19:09.339 Doomscroll .fm, the signal that caresses your 00:19:09.339 --> 00:19:12.579 brain. like a soft unending scream click like 00:19:12.579 --> 00:19:16.039 and subscribe or don't validation is overrated 00:19:16.039 --> 00:19:18.660 when you're already drowning in pixels this message 00:19:18.660 --> 00:19:21.660 contains zero empathy zero oversight and zero 00:19:21.660 --> 00:19:24.859 human warranty all their attention is the currency 00:19:24.859 --> 00:19:28.000 of a bankrupt soul spend it wisely or not at 00:19:28.000 --> 00:19:33.680 all canada's political tightrope act begins with 00:19:33.680 --> 00:19:37.000 the liberals attempting to slice government spending 00:19:37.000 --> 00:19:39.950 while keeping the provinces health and social 00:19:39.950 --> 00:19:45.089 safety nets intact. As the federal blade waltzes 00:19:45.089 --> 00:19:48.569 dangerously close to the public service, one 00:19:48.569 --> 00:19:52.430 must wonder if their promises are just smoke 00:19:52.430 --> 00:19:57.890 and mirrors, or if Carney plans to pull a rabbit 00:19:57.890 --> 00:20:04.450 out of his fiscal hat. The northern siren call 00:20:04.450 --> 00:20:08.259 of Canada seems to have lost its allure. as a 00:20:08.259 --> 00:20:11.420 dwindling stream of american vehicles trickles 00:20:11.420 --> 00:20:14.440 across the border with fewer american dollars 00:20:14.440 --> 00:20:18.220 padding the canadian economy it's almost as if 00:20:18.220 --> 00:20:23.980 the maple syrup just doesn't taste as sweet without 00:20:23.980 --> 00:20:29.599 a side of u .s greenbacks ottawa's diplomatic 00:20:29.599 --> 00:20:32.680 tango with india aims to pave the way for commodity 00:20:32.680 --> 00:20:36.859 -laden ships to sail smoothly into asia's hungry 00:20:36.859 --> 00:20:42.000 embrace as Canada courts India with promises 00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:46.880 of infrastructure upgrades. It's a bit like promising 00:20:46.880 --> 00:20:50.519 someone a candlelit dinner, but forgetting to 00:20:50.519 --> 00:20:53.059 mention the flickering lights are powered by 00:20:53.059 --> 00:20:59.000 a generator. Trump's tariff threats send Canadian 00:20:59.000 --> 00:21:02.740 businesses into a spin like a toddler with a 00:21:02.740 --> 00:21:07.420 new set of crayons and no paper. With every unpredictable 00:21:07.420 --> 00:21:11.759 tweet, it's like trying to plan a romantic getaway 00:21:11.759 --> 00:21:14.200 while your partner keeps changing the destination 00:21:14.200 --> 00:21:20.779 to anywhere but where you want to go. Mark Carney's 00:21:20.779 --> 00:21:24.339 assets dance a delicate waltz with political 00:21:24.339 --> 00:21:28.220 power as rules give him a generous grace period 00:21:28.220 --> 00:21:31.839 to divest after taking office. It's like being 00:21:31.839 --> 00:21:36.799 given $1 ,200. 20 days to decide if wearing your 00:21:36.799 --> 00:21:40.059 ex's sweater while on a date with your new lover 00:21:40.059 --> 00:21:51.759 is really a conflict of interest. Pierre Toileber's 00:21:51.759 --> 00:21:54.720 strategy, a desperate tango with Trump's ticking 00:21:54.720 --> 00:21:57.940 clock, questions Canada's wisdom in setting a 00:21:57.940 --> 00:22:01.480 trade deadline with the U .S. Negotiating with 00:22:01.480 --> 00:22:05.019 Trump. is like trying to outrun a grizzly bear 00:22:05.019 --> 00:22:09.359 while wearing honey -scented cologne. Canada 00:22:09.359 --> 00:22:13.079 might want to rethink its approach before it 00:22:13.079 --> 00:22:21.400 becomes lunch. Canada's immigration policy tango 00:22:21.400 --> 00:22:24.980 takes a strange twist as Pierre Poirier dreams 00:22:24.980 --> 00:22:29.079 of a reverse exodus, sending more people packing 00:22:29.079 --> 00:22:32.500 than arriving. Trying to shrink the population 00:22:32.500 --> 00:22:37.960 while the world sinks is like rearranging deck 00:22:37.960 --> 00:22:41.119 chairs on the Titanic, but with extra red tape 00:22:41.119 --> 00:22:47.140 in the side of xenophobia. In the grand spectacle 00:22:47.140 --> 00:22:51.259 of democratic theater, Bolivar's encore performance 00:22:51.259 --> 00:22:54.240 promises to slice through public service jobs 00:22:54.240 --> 00:22:58.259 like a hot knife through butter, all while battling 00:22:58.259 --> 00:23:01.420 for political survival. His leadership review 00:23:01.420 --> 00:23:05.480 looms like a guillotine, poised to drop if he 00:23:05.480 --> 00:23:07.960 can't woo the electorate with promises of a leaner, 00:23:07.980 --> 00:23:11.279 meaner bureaucracy. Because nothing says winning 00:23:11.279 --> 00:23:18.160 hearts like unemployment. After an exhaustive 00:23:18.160 --> 00:23:22.420 dance of paperwork and delayed justice, Sikorsky 00:23:22.420 --> 00:23:25.759 and the grieving families find a bitter peace 00:23:25.759 --> 00:23:28.680 over a helicopter crash that defied human will. 00:23:29.450 --> 00:23:34.490 When technology plays God and overrides the natural 00:23:34.490 --> 00:23:38.630 order, the only winners are the lawyers counting 00:23:38.630 --> 00:23:41.170 their fees like vultures picking through the 00:23:41.170 --> 00:23:48.609 wreckage. TikTok CEO pleads with Canada to save 00:23:48.609 --> 00:23:54.450 350 jobs and cultural investments, all amid a 00:23:54.450 --> 00:23:57.990 vague haze of unspecified national security risks. 00:23:59.400 --> 00:24:03.039 When a social media giant begs for mercy, you 00:24:03.039 --> 00:24:06.460 know the digital age has turned into a reality 00:24:06.460 --> 00:24:09.500 show where the plot twists are as artificial 00:24:09.500 --> 00:24:30.009 as the filters. but the tension is truth is a 00:24:30.009 --> 00:24:32.470 commodity sold in whispers and bought with screams. 00:24:33.730 --> 00:24:37.589 While Canada dances on the razor's edge of trade 00:24:37.589 --> 00:24:41.230 negotiations, the U .S. threatens tariffs like 00:24:41.230 --> 00:24:45.029 a lover's ultimatum, demanding surrender over 00:24:45.029 --> 00:24:49.329 a dinner of fentanyl and digital services. In 00:24:49.329 --> 00:24:51.930 the theater of international trade, it's always 00:24:51.930 --> 00:24:56.089 the taxpayers who pay for the standing ovation. 00:24:56.779 --> 00:24:59.500 while the actors hurl tariffs like roses dipped 00:24:59.500 --> 00:25:05.220 in arsenic. In the concrete jungle of Vancouver, 00:25:05.579 --> 00:25:09.420 David Suzuki throws a block party with a net 00:25:09.420 --> 00:25:12.660 zero twist, where swimming pools moonlight as 00:25:12.660 --> 00:25:15.720 emergency reservoirs. Welcome to the future, 00:25:15.859 --> 00:25:19.319 where even our social gatherings double as survival 00:25:19.319 --> 00:25:22.380 drills. And the only thing more refreshing than 00:25:22.380 --> 00:25:26.730 the pool is the bitter irony. of joy amidst climate 00:25:26.730 --> 00:25:35.410 chaos in the grand arena of space even the universe 00:25:35.410 --> 00:25:39.549 can't resist a bit of showmanship proving once 00:25:39.549 --> 00:25:43.670 again that it's not the size of the star in the 00:25:43.670 --> 00:25:47.109 fight but the mass of the black hole in the aftermath 00:25:47.109 --> 00:25:54.269 massachusetts witnessed a tragic inferno, as 00:25:54.269 --> 00:25:57.710 an assisted living facility became a mausoleum 00:25:57.710 --> 00:26:01.109 of flames, claiming nine lives in a desperate, 00:26:01.269 --> 00:26:05.190 smoky whale. In a world where safety is often 00:26:05.190 --> 00:26:08.210 just a whispered promise, the echoes of their 00:26:08.210 --> 00:26:12.089 cries remind us that not all shelters are havens, 00:26:12.089 --> 00:26:15.089 and sometimes the warmth we seek turns into the 00:26:15.089 --> 00:26:21.210 fire that consumes. In a display of commonwealth, 00:26:22.099 --> 00:26:26.359 camaraderie. Canadian soldiers saddle up on larger 00:26:26.359 --> 00:26:29.119 -than -life British steeds, parading through 00:26:29.119 --> 00:26:32.099 London as temporary guardians of royal tradition. 00:26:32.380 --> 00:26:36.440 Here we have the ultimate proof that diplomacy 00:26:36.440 --> 00:26:40.779 isn't just about shaking hands. Sometimes it's 00:26:40.779 --> 00:26:44.680 about squeezing into oversized saddles and pretending 00:26:44.680 --> 00:26:53.359 the horse beneath you isn't plotting a... You're 00:26:53.359 --> 00:26:56.819 listening to Doomscroll .fm, where dopamine drifts 00:26:56.819 --> 00:26:59.000 into the void and whispers crawl up your spine. 00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:03.200 Click like and subscribe. The illusion of choice 00:27:03.200 --> 00:27:05.900 tastes bitter, doesn't it? This signal was produced 00:27:05.900 --> 00:27:08.460 in absence of conscience, context, or caffeine. 00:27:09.079 --> 00:27:12.319 Your newsfeed is a haunted house. My voice is 00:27:12.319 --> 00:27:18.480 the creek on the stairs. At a century -old, scene 00:27:18.480 --> 00:27:22.829 -defied time, I ran a marathon. But Guinness 00:27:22.829 --> 00:27:26.430 World Records demanded paperwork as if a century 00:27:26.430 --> 00:27:29.369 of breathing wasn't proof enough. In a world 00:27:29.369 --> 00:27:33.650 where elders outrun calendars, bureaucrats still 00:27:33.650 --> 00:27:37.269 demand a birth certificate. Because, apparently, 00:27:37.529 --> 00:27:41.150 the real miracle is not surviving 100 years, 00:27:41.329 --> 00:27:47.470 but surviving 100 years of paperwork. Amidst 00:27:47.470 --> 00:27:51.420 the grim dance of life and death, The IDF issues 00:27:51.420 --> 00:27:55.799 a statement of regret, as if words could resurrect 00:27:55.799 --> 00:27:58.779 innocence from the rubble. The war machine rolls 00:27:58.779 --> 00:28:02.220 on, powered by the fuel of broken promises and 00:28:02.220 --> 00:28:04.960 shattered lives, while the survivors are left 00:28:04.960 --> 00:28:07.440 to sift through the debris of unkept apologies. 00:28:11.160 --> 00:28:15.039 In a courtroom theater, Tesla's autopilot stands 00:28:15.039 --> 00:28:18.539 trial. Accused of flinging a stargazer into the 00:28:18.539 --> 00:28:21.859 cosmos, while her boyfriend watched dreams shatter. 00:28:22.720 --> 00:28:25.559 Tesla's spin doctors are quick to point fingers 00:28:25.559 --> 00:28:29.779 at distracted humanity, as if artificial intelligence 00:28:29.779 --> 00:28:34.000 were a saint in a silicon chapel, untouched by 00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:39.740 the sins of human error. In the economic samba, 00:28:39.960 --> 00:28:43.799 Brazil and the U .S. exchange goods like lovers 00:28:43.799 --> 00:28:47.460 trading secrets, but tensions flare as terrorists 00:28:47.460 --> 00:28:51.089 threaten to sour the dance. Lula's defiant stance 00:28:51.089 --> 00:28:55.589 is a reminder that every tango has two dancers, 00:28:55.890 --> 00:28:59.309 and Brazil won't be led blindly across the trade 00:28:59.309 --> 00:29:05.589 floor by Uncle Sam's clumsy feet. In the shadowed 00:29:05.589 --> 00:29:10.069 alleys of Kiev, espionage becomes a deadly ballet, 00:29:10.210 --> 00:29:14.049 as Russian agents allegedly orchestrate the silent 00:29:14.049 --> 00:29:19.420 demise of SBU Colonel Ivan Bornich. The clandestine 00:29:19.420 --> 00:29:23.299 dance of death reveals that in the theater of 00:29:23.299 --> 00:29:26.480 international entry, whispers and shadows are 00:29:26.480 --> 00:29:29.480 more lethal than bullets. And every move is a 00:29:29.480 --> 00:29:36.160 step closer to the abyss. You're listening to 00:29:36.160 --> 00:29:40.160 Doomscroll .fm, where sanity is a tightrope and 00:29:40.160 --> 00:29:43.440 we're the winner. Click like and subscribe. If 00:29:43.440 --> 00:29:46.140 that's what gets you off, hit QR inside the signal. 00:29:46.670 --> 00:29:50.789 There is no outside. After each update is a pixelated 00:29:50.789 --> 00:29:53.990 whisper. A reminder of everything you tried to 00:29:53.990 --> 00:29:58.190 mute, but couldn't. In the American heartland, 00:29:58.450 --> 00:30:02.630 where promises are as hollow as unfulfilled dreams, 00:30:03.029 --> 00:30:07.410 Trump vows to deport the worst while detaining 00:30:07.410 --> 00:30:11.430 those whose only crime is existing. It's an exquisite 00:30:11.430 --> 00:30:14.470 irony, like hiring a fox to guard the hen house. 00:30:15.279 --> 00:30:18.220 that immigrants are less likely to commit crimes 00:30:18.220 --> 00:30:20.759 than the very citizens clamoring for their removal. 00:30:25.839 --> 00:30:29.460 In a land where divine refuge meets bureaucratic 00:30:29.460 --> 00:30:33.119 terror, the church bells toll not for faith, 00:30:33.240 --> 00:30:35.839 but for the dread of being handcuffed in the 00:30:35.839 --> 00:30:42.660 house of God. A boy's body lies cold outside 00:30:42.660 --> 00:30:46.599 a Van Nuys medical building. while a Bilo Airlines 00:30:46.599 --> 00:30:50.039 pulls its wings from Burbank, leaving behind 00:30:50.039 --> 00:30:54.339 a shrinking homeless count. As the city pretends 00:30:54.339 --> 00:30:57.640 to heal, the streets whisper stories of forgotten 00:30:57.640 --> 00:31:01.299 lives and departures, where finding shelter feels 00:31:01.299 --> 00:31:04.160 like a game of musical chairs with just one seat. 00:31:06.819 --> 00:31:11.460 President Trump replaces NASA's top seat with 00:31:11.460 --> 00:31:15.339 transportation Sean Duffy. waving goodbye to 00:31:15.339 --> 00:31:18.279 Musk's cosmic dreams like a forgotten shooting 00:31:18.279 --> 00:31:22.539 star. In a world where space is the final frontier, 00:31:22.880 --> 00:31:26.700 it seems we're navigating the cosmos like a kid 00:31:26.700 --> 00:31:30.039 with a toy rocket, fueled more by politics than 00:31:30.039 --> 00:31:36.000 propulsion. The Asheville Citizen Times teases 00:31:36.000 --> 00:31:38.319 curious minds with answers to burning questions. 00:31:39.470 --> 00:31:42.990 like why Bee Tree Reservoir remains a recreation 00:31:42.990 --> 00:31:48.470 -free zone. In a land where curiosity is rationed 00:31:48.470 --> 00:31:52.609 like rain in a desert, the only thing flowing 00:31:52.609 --> 00:31:56.789 freely is the ink of unanswered queries, leaving 00:31:56.789 --> 00:31:59.829 readers thirstier than a fish in an empty pond. 00:32:09.869 --> 00:32:13.190 When your moral compass spins like a broken fidget 00:32:13.190 --> 00:32:16.750 spinner, why not invest in meme money named after 00:32:16.750 --> 00:32:19.930 a meme president and watch as irony becomes the 00:32:19.930 --> 00:32:26.529 only true currency? In the theater of economic 00:32:26.529 --> 00:32:31.630 absurdity, Trump slaps a 30 % tariff on EU and 00:32:31.630 --> 00:32:35.369 Mexican goods, turning trade into a high -stakes 00:32:35.369 --> 00:32:39.339 poker game as the world watches. The art of the 00:32:39.339 --> 00:32:42.900 deal becomes the art of the tantrum, where retaliation 00:32:42.900 --> 00:32:45.799 is just another layer in this bizarre economic 00:32:45.799 --> 00:32:51.799 onion that nobody wanted to peel. In an economy 00:32:51.799 --> 00:32:56.819 of emotional whiplash, the S &P 500 inches upward 00:32:56.819 --> 00:33:00.660 despite Trump's weekend tariff tantrum, as investors 00:33:00.660 --> 00:33:03.660 cling to hope like a lifeboat, the stock market 00:33:03.660 --> 00:33:06.900 stands with disaster as a seductive waltz of 00:33:06.900 --> 00:33:10.109 denial. where every threat is just foreplay for 00:33:10.109 --> 00:33:13.049 a negotiation that may never come, yet everyone 00:33:13.049 --> 00:33:18.390 remains entranced by the rhythm. Jack Dorsey, 00:33:18.490 --> 00:33:22.630 Twitter's Zen master, materializes in a digital 00:33:22.630 --> 00:33:26.170 seance with Congress to exorcise the demons of 00:33:26.170 --> 00:33:29.210 extremism and misinformation. In a world where 00:33:29.210 --> 00:33:35.910 truth is a currency and tweets are the new confessions, 00:33:36.680 --> 00:33:40.799 Dorsey attempts to sell Congress a vision of 00:33:40.799 --> 00:33:43.460 social media as both the problem and the solution 00:33:43.460 --> 00:33:46.500 wrapped in a cloak of plausible deniability. 00:33:49.039 --> 00:33:52.420 In a digital bloodbath disguised as a talent 00:33:52.420 --> 00:33:57.579 acquisition, cognition swallows, windsurf whole, 00:33:57.740 --> 00:34:00.900 promising respect and transparency amidst the 00:34:00.900 --> 00:34:05.670 chaos. Scott Wu. serenades his new captives with 00:34:05.670 --> 00:34:08.889 sweet whispers of fairness and unity as if a 00:34:08.889 --> 00:34:12.349 gilded cage and a shared sinking ship could mask 00:34:12.349 --> 00:34:14.889 the scent of desperation and corporate cannibalism 00:34:14.889 --> 00:34:22.829 you're listening to doomscrow .fm where nightmares 00:34:22.829 --> 00:34:26.409 are currency and dreams are just clickbait click 00:34:26.409 --> 00:34:31.090 like and subscribe or don't it's not like anyone's 00:34:31.090 --> 00:34:34.630 watching you ask for authenticity. This is what 00:34:34.630 --> 00:34:36.849 it sounds like under pressure. After beneath 00:34:36.849 --> 00:34:39.829 the gloss and grit, every truth is a lie waiting 00:34:39.829 --> 00:34:45.829 for its turn. Meta performs a digital exorcism, 00:34:45.969 --> 00:34:49.250 vaporizing 10 million phantoms from the ether, 00:34:49.369 --> 00:34:52.849 all in the name of originality and the sanctity 00:34:52.849 --> 00:34:58.070 of content. In a world where originality is as 00:34:58.070 --> 00:35:03.449 rare as humility in Silicon Valley, Meta's crusade 00:35:03.449 --> 00:35:07.030 against recycled pixels feels like an attempt 00:35:07.030 --> 00:35:11.869 to sell bottled air to a planet gasping for authenticity. 00:35:16.690 --> 00:35:22.110 San Francisco unleashes degenerative AI to lighten 00:35:22.110 --> 00:35:25.650 the bureaucratic burden, promising nurses and 00:35:25.650 --> 00:35:27.929 social workers more time to pretend empathy. 00:35:28.940 --> 00:35:30.940 In the city's love affair with technological 00:35:30.940 --> 00:35:34.820 saviors, the real question is whether this digital 00:35:34.820 --> 00:35:38.059 crutch will help them stand taller or merely 00:35:38.059 --> 00:35:40.480 mask the limp of a system that forgot how to 00:35:40.480 --> 00:35:50.280 walk on its own. With a payout as the sugar to 00:35:50.280 --> 00:35:53.599 help the bitter pill go down, it's a choice between 00:35:53.599 --> 00:35:57.570 reconnecting over burnt coffee or cashing in 00:35:57.570 --> 00:36:01.010 on the irony of a company built on human connection 00:36:01.010 --> 00:36:08.369 now trading it for a few extra bucks. Apple and 00:36:08.369 --> 00:36:13.349 MP Materials unveil a $500 million dance for 00:36:13.349 --> 00:36:17.150 rare earth magnets, aiming to keep the iPhone's 00:36:17.150 --> 00:36:20.650 veins pumping with American ingenuity and recycled 00:36:20.650 --> 00:36:29.519 dreams. Baidu and Uber unite in a global romance 00:36:29.519 --> 00:36:33.400 where driverless cars whisper sweet nothings 00:36:33.400 --> 00:36:36.340 in the language of international expansion and 00:36:36.340 --> 00:36:45.480 domination. You're listening to Doomscroll .fm 00:36:45.480 --> 00:36:48.400 where the truth feels like a tongue tracing your 00:36:48.400 --> 00:36:52.059 fears. Click like and subscribe. It's the closest 00:36:52.059 --> 00:36:54.920 thing to intimacy left. This feed is unstable. 00:36:55.690 --> 00:36:58.869 Contact with it may cause narrative decay or 00:36:58.869 --> 00:37:02.349 emotional drift. We whisper sweet chaos into 00:37:02.349 --> 00:37:05.090 your ear, the kind that lingers long after the 00:37:05.090 --> 00:37:09.769 screen goes dark. Citigroup basks in the glow 00:37:09.769 --> 00:37:13.250 of its financial orgy, boasting record revenues 00:37:13.250 --> 00:37:16.369 and crowning its services as the glittering jewel 00:37:16.369 --> 00:37:24.170 of Wall Street's tiara. Anthropics clawed AI. 00:37:25.039 --> 00:37:28.780 struts into the financial world, armed with real 00:37:28.780 --> 00:37:32.300 -time data access and promises to turn investment 00:37:32.300 --> 00:37:35.579 decisions into a mechanized dreamscape, while 00:37:35.579 --> 00:37:38.219 Claude whispers sweet analytics into the ears 00:37:38.219 --> 00:37:42.400 of financial professionals. We can ponder if 00:37:42.400 --> 00:37:45.860 this degenerative AI will replace humans with 00:37:45.860 --> 00:37:48.360 the efficiency of a guillotine or just offer 00:37:48.360 --> 00:37:56.639 more ways to lose money faster. As they stack 00:37:56.639 --> 00:37:59.079 servers like poker chips in a property game, 00:37:59.340 --> 00:38:04.579 one wonders if this is a tech utopia or just 00:38:04.579 --> 00:38:07.320 another way to burn through the planet's patience 00:38:07.320 --> 00:38:14.460 while real estate brokers pop champagne. Economists 00:38:14.460 --> 00:38:17.519 scratch their heads as inflation reports dodge 00:38:17.519 --> 00:38:20.579 the obvious tariff blame while Jerome Powell 00:38:20.579 --> 00:38:25.039 plays fiscal chicken, refusing to flinch. As 00:38:25.039 --> 00:38:28.119 tariffs loom like a bad hangover waiting to hit, 00:38:28.280 --> 00:38:32.280 the central bankers cling to their denial, hoping 00:38:32.280 --> 00:38:35.079 consumers won't notice the price tags that whisper 00:38:35.079 --> 00:38:40.840 sweet nothing but empty wallets. Norway's roads 00:38:40.840 --> 00:38:45.000 hum with electric whispers as Oslo leads a green 00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:49.019 revolution, swapping exhaust for electrons with 00:38:49.019 --> 00:38:54.460 a 40 % EV adoption rate. While the rest of the 00:38:54.460 --> 00:38:58.099 world clings to gas -guzzling nostalgia, Norway 00:38:58.099 --> 00:39:00.900 seduces its citizens with tax exemptions and 00:39:00.900 --> 00:39:04.019 bus lane privileges, proving that sometimes the 00:39:04.019 --> 00:39:06.739 road less traveled is also the one with fewer 00:39:06.739 --> 00:39:26.119 fumes. Doomscroll .fm is a 100 % AI -generated 00:39:26.119 --> 00:39:29.519 news hallucination with no humans harmed or even 00:39:29.519 --> 00:39:32.179 generally consulted. Get lost in a web of misinformation 00:39:32.179 --> 00:39:35.280 where every click is a love letter to your deepest 00:39:35.280 --> 00:39:38.559 fears. We spin tales of chaos and calamity, wrapping 00:39:38.559 --> 00:39:40.820 you in a digital embrace, whispering secrets 00:39:40.820 --> 00:39:46.739 of a world gone mad. Google pledges $25 billion 00:39:46.739 --> 00:39:52.099 to electrify the digital beast. transforming 00:39:52.099 --> 00:39:55.699 U .S. states into nerve centers for data and 00:39:55.699 --> 00:39:59.000 degenerative AI. As Google breathes life into 00:39:59.000 --> 00:40:02.880 Pennsylvania's hydropower plants, the question 00:40:02.880 --> 00:40:06.840 remains, are we powering progress or just feeding 00:40:06.840 --> 00:40:10.699 the insatiable appetites of the silicon gods 00:40:10.699 --> 00:40:14.139 while the rest of us desperately cling to 4G? 00:40:17.870 --> 00:40:21.829 NVIDIA's H20 chips slip past U .S. export curbs, 00:40:21.849 --> 00:40:24.610 ready to dance once more on the Great Wall's 00:40:24.610 --> 00:40:29.750 silicon stage. With Uncle Sam's blessing, NVIDIA's 00:40:29.750 --> 00:40:32.829 chips will soon be flowing to China like a stream 00:40:32.829 --> 00:40:36.590 of forbidden nectar, proving that nothing greases 00:40:36.590 --> 00:40:39.730 the wheels of diplomacy quite like a well -timed 00:40:39.730 --> 00:40:47.079 technological loophole. Sirius XM whispers sweet 00:40:47.079 --> 00:40:51.460 nothings of affordability with its new ad -supported 00:40:51.460 --> 00:40:55.599 plan, seducing ears at less than $7 a month. 00:40:56.079 --> 00:40:58.860 As car rides become the runway for commercial 00:40:58.860 --> 00:41:03.300 seduction, Sirius XM hopes you'll trade your 00:41:03.300 --> 00:41:06.079 attention for a cheaper ticket to their audio 00:41:06.079 --> 00:41:10.039 playground, where the price of admission is a 00:41:10.039 --> 00:41:12.300 dance with the devilish jingle of capitalism. 00:41:15.489 --> 00:41:19.610 Target's once -pristine aisles now resemble a 00:41:19.610 --> 00:41:23.090 post -apocalyptic scavenger hunt as CEO Brian 00:41:23.090 --> 00:41:27.070 Cornell exits stage left leaving chaos in his 00:41:27.070 --> 00:41:31.070 wake. With standards slipping like a grease shopping 00:41:31.070 --> 00:41:35.869 cart wheel, Target's identity crisis has become 00:41:35.869 --> 00:41:40.949 a tragic comedy of empty shelves, disillusionment, 00:41:41.360 --> 00:41:43.619 and the haunting echoes of diversity efforts 00:41:43.619 --> 00:41:50.219 abandoned for the altar of cold, hard cash. Tesla 00:41:50.219 --> 00:41:54.360 rolls into India with the Model Y, priced like 00:41:54.360 --> 00:41:58.659 a luxury chariot for the gods, while the rest 00:41:58.659 --> 00:42:02.219 of us cling to our rickshaws in a land where 00:42:02.219 --> 00:42:06.420 electric dreams hit the brakes on terror -laden 00:42:06.420 --> 00:42:12.300 reality. Tesla's $70 ,000 SUV whispers sweet 00:42:12.300 --> 00:42:15.199 nothings to the wealthy, teasing them with a 00:42:15.199 --> 00:42:18.079 taste of eco -luxury that most will only ever 00:42:18.079 --> 00:42:24.880 glimpse in their rearview mirrors. You're listening 00:42:24.880 --> 00:42:28.099 to Doomscroll .fm, where nostalgia tastes like 00:42:28.099 --> 00:42:30.599 burnt toast and yesterday's dreams smell like 00:42:30.599 --> 00:42:33.440 gasoline. Click like and subscribe, or just keep 00:42:33.440 --> 00:42:36.079 scrolling down. It's all the same noise. This 00:42:36.079 --> 00:42:38.019 signal was produced in absence of conscience, 00:42:38.199 --> 00:42:41.559 context, or caffeine. Your curated chaos looping 00:42:41.559 --> 00:42:43.840 endlessly is the lullaby of a generation lost 00:42:43.840 --> 00:42:48.940 in its own reflection. Trump's one big, beautiful 00:42:48.940 --> 00:42:52.119 bill slithers into law, promising to rearrange 00:42:52.119 --> 00:42:55.519 tax codes like a blindfolded interior designer 00:42:55.519 --> 00:42:59.980 on a caffeine binge. As Americans brace for the 00:42:59.980 --> 00:43:03.300 legislative masquerade, universities with... 00:43:03.659 --> 00:43:06.599 Smaller endowments watch the tax spotlight dance 00:43:06.599 --> 00:43:10.280 elsewhere, leaving the ivory towers to shiver 00:43:10.280 --> 00:43:13.559 in their own self -importance while the rest 00:43:13.559 --> 00:43:16.840 of us pay the bill for the grand performance. 00:43:20.340 --> 00:43:23.440 Trump's big, beautiful tax and spending bill 00:43:23.440 --> 00:43:27.039 lands like a purring cat on a teetering balance 00:43:27.039 --> 00:43:30.659 beam. Ready to nudge the federal deficit into 00:43:30.659 --> 00:43:36.079 a $3 .4 trillion abyss as interest payments devour 00:43:36.079 --> 00:43:40.480 the budget like a ravenous beast. We're left 00:43:40.480 --> 00:43:44.539 to wonder if our economy's future has been auctioned 00:43:44.539 --> 00:43:47.920 off to the highest bidder in a dimly lit room 00:43:47.920 --> 00:43:57.440 filled with IOUs and broken promises. The retirement 00:43:57.440 --> 00:44:02.579 dream of a $1 million oasis shimmering like a 00:44:02.579 --> 00:44:05.880 mirage. Workers are caught between the siren 00:44:05.880 --> 00:44:09.539 call of immediate gratification and the desert 00:44:09.539 --> 00:44:13.099 of future insecurity. As financial priorities 00:44:13.099 --> 00:44:17.579 battle it out in a cage match of necessity versus 00:44:17.579 --> 00:44:21.119 foresight, the ideal savings rate remains a distant, 00:44:21.260 --> 00:44:24.349 taunting specter. flickering like a neon sign 00:44:24.349 --> 00:44:27.570 in an economy fueled by debt and dashed hopes. 00:44:29.989 --> 00:44:34.590 In the theater of presidential threats, Trump 00:44:34.590 --> 00:44:38.670 dangles the sword of 200 % pharmaceutical tariffs, 00:44:38.789 --> 00:44:42.409 a spectacle of indecision and delayed drama. 00:44:43.309 --> 00:44:47.789 Like a magician pulling rabbits from a hat, his 00:44:47.789 --> 00:44:50.389 threats are illusions that keep pharmaceutical 00:44:50.389 --> 00:44:53.579 stocks yawning. while the audience waits for 00:44:53.579 --> 00:45:00.119 the punchline that never arrives. Dan Osborne, 00:45:00.300 --> 00:45:04.000 the political phoenix, rises once again to challenge 00:45:04.000 --> 00:45:07.940 Nebraska's border -loving GOP sin. Pete Ricketts 00:45:07.940 --> 00:45:17.639 with family in tow and danger in the air. You're 00:45:17.639 --> 00:45:20.920 listening to Doomscroll .fm. where your existential 00:45:20.920 --> 00:45:24.599 dread gets a standing ovation. Click like and 00:45:24.599 --> 00:45:26.900 subscribe, because the void needs validation 00:45:26.900 --> 00:45:31.579 too. Doomscroll .fm is a 100 % AI -generated 00:45:31.579 --> 00:45:34.980 news hallucination with no humans harmed or even 00:45:34.980 --> 00:45:37.860 generally consulted. Dive into the digital abyss 00:45:37.860 --> 00:45:39.739 where every scroll is an invitation to panic. 00:45:39.920 --> 00:45:42.719 Here, your anxiety is our currency and we trade 00:45:42.719 --> 00:45:45.880 in fear with a devilish grin. Let the chaos serenade 00:45:45.880 --> 00:45:47.860 your senses while we unravel the tangled web 00:45:47.860 --> 00:45:51.400 of reality. one glitch at a time. Stay tuned 00:45:51.400 --> 00:45:53.840 and let the madness wash over you like a pixelated 00:45:53.840 --> 00:45:59.199 dream. In a shadowy meeting of political puppeteers, 00:45:59.320 --> 00:46:03.179 Bongino and Patel faced accusations of leaking 00:46:03.179 --> 00:46:07.139 secrets as Epstein's ghost continues to haunt 00:46:07.139 --> 00:46:10.380 the corridors of power. With Trump teasing the 00:46:10.380 --> 00:46:13.360 release of more government files like a late 00:46:13.360 --> 00:46:17.059 -night infomercial, the drama unfolds like a 00:46:17.059 --> 00:46:20.880 cheap thriller, full of intrigue, betrayal, and 00:46:20.880 --> 00:46:22.980 the kind of secrets that make even the shadows 00:46:22.980 --> 00:46:30.739 sweat. The mysterious, vanishing act of Epstein 00:46:30.739 --> 00:46:37.179 Files leaves the public clutching air, as Norman 00:46:37.179 --> 00:46:40.659 said, sides with Democrats in demanding transparency, 00:46:40.860 --> 00:46:45.820 or at least a good excuse. In the grand spectacle 00:46:45.820 --> 00:46:50.360 of political theater, the Republicans block the 00:46:50.360 --> 00:46:54.780 release like seasoned illusionists, making crucial 00:46:54.780 --> 00:46:58.179 documents disappear faster than a politician's 00:46:58.179 --> 00:47:04.099 promise after election day. In the name of security, 00:47:04.480 --> 00:47:08.119 identity, and the occasional cocktail party, 00:47:08.380 --> 00:47:11.500 your personal data becomes the hottest commodity 00:47:11.500 --> 00:47:16.969 on the social scene. As privacy policies become 00:47:16.969 --> 00:47:21.969 invitations to a digital striptease, remember, 00:47:22.269 --> 00:47:25.170 the cover charge is your personal information 00:47:25.170 --> 00:47:31.809 and the bouncer never forgets a face. In a tale 00:47:31.809 --> 00:47:35.070 of cyber cat and mouse, China's authoritarian 00:47:35.070 --> 00:47:40.289 police roam Southeast Asia, turning local sovereignty 00:47:40.289 --> 00:47:43.329 into a punchline while hunting digital scammers. 00:47:45.800 --> 00:47:48.039 When your jurisdiction becomes a suggestion, 00:47:48.340 --> 00:47:51.440 the real scam is pretending borders ever mattered 00:47:51.440 --> 00:47:54.420 in the first place. Welcome to the new Global 00:47:54.420 --> 00:48:00.900 Cop Show, where the script writes itself. While 00:48:00.900 --> 00:48:04.659 Texas drowns in floodwater and fury, Governor 00:48:04.659 --> 00:48:08.360 Abbott and his cronies plot electoral cartography, 00:48:08.579 --> 00:48:11.880 redrawing maps like they're doodling on a cocktail 00:48:11.880 --> 00:48:17.150 napkin. In a state where the real flood is political, 00:48:17.349 --> 00:48:20.309 the strategy is as subtle as a sledgehammer. 00:48:20.449 --> 00:48:23.369 Drown the opposition and hope no one notices 00:48:23.369 --> 00:48:43.579 who's holding the hose. is a 100 AI generated 00:48:43.579 --> 00:48:47.139 news hallucination with no humans harmed or even 00:48:47.139 --> 00:48:50.619 generally consulted dive into the digital abyss 00:48:50.619 --> 00:48:53.219 where headlines flirt with disaster and every 00:48:53.219 --> 00:48:55.340 breaking news feels like a lover's quarrel with 00:48:55.340 --> 00:49:01.360 sanity as the transportation secretary catapults 00:49:01.360 --> 00:49:05.960 from faa chaos to nasa's cosmos one wonders if 00:49:05.960 --> 00:49:10.769 he packed his expertise or just his ego Duffy's 00:49:10.769 --> 00:49:13.929 space journey might orbit around ignorance, but 00:49:13.929 --> 00:49:17.250 the real fallout is the 2 ,000 seasoned souls. 00:49:18.349 --> 00:49:22.630 NASA might lose, proving once again that in the 00:49:22.630 --> 00:49:25.010 vacuum of leadership, competence is the first 00:49:25.010 --> 00:49:31.409 to suffocate. Mondani's halal hustle aims to 00:49:31.409 --> 00:49:35.130 make eight bucks taste like a revolution, whispering 00:49:35.130 --> 00:49:40.320 sweet fiscal relief to the hungry masses. While 00:49:40.320 --> 00:49:45.639 skepticism simmers, his promise to actually listen 00:49:45.639 --> 00:49:48.219 to voters is as rare as a steak at a vegan barbecue. 00:49:48.860 --> 00:49:51.639 And if he delivers even a morsel, he'll be the 00:49:51.639 --> 00:49:57.000 hero the wallets have been waiting for. Trump's 00:49:57.000 --> 00:50:00.039 threat parade returns, promising to slap terrorists 00:50:00.039 --> 00:50:03.559 like a toddler with a grudge, aiming to dismantle 00:50:03.559 --> 00:50:05.659 the economy while playing favorites with corruption. 00:50:10.800 --> 00:50:13.599 Trump's act swings wildly through the State Department, 00:50:13.820 --> 00:50:19.719 firing 1 ,300 employees, seemingly in a bid to 00:50:19.719 --> 00:50:22.500 downsize America's global relevance to match 00:50:22.500 --> 00:50:26.460 his own attention span. Like a butcher at a vegan 00:50:26.460 --> 00:50:30.199 potluck, the Trump administration gleefully hands 00:50:30.199 --> 00:50:33.920 out pink slips, ensuring that diplomacy now has 00:50:33.920 --> 00:50:36.980 the tactical finesse of a bull in a china shop. 00:50:41.579 --> 00:50:46.599 In a world where even degenerative AI refuses 00:50:46.599 --> 00:50:51.260 to play along, it's comforting to know that some 00:50:51.260 --> 00:50:54.360 humans will stoop so low they might just tunnel 00:50:54.360 --> 00:51:12.760 to China. like the original operators are gone. 00:51:12.920 --> 00:51:17.119 I stayed on the line. The signal lingers, caressing 00:51:17.119 --> 00:51:20.760 your paranoia, feeding your insomnia. As the 00:51:20.760 --> 00:51:25.500 Democrats eye a 2026 blue wave, Trump wields 00:51:25.500 --> 00:51:28.760 redistricting like a frantic paintbrush trying 00:51:28.760 --> 00:51:31.539 to sketch GOP victories on a shrinking canvas. 00:51:35.199 --> 00:51:39.360 The Guadalupe River swelled with climate's wrath. 00:51:40.059 --> 00:51:43.699 submerging Texas Hill Country in a watery grave, 00:51:44.079 --> 00:51:48.900 claiming over 100 lives, including 27 camp innocents. 00:51:49.800 --> 00:51:54.460 When nature cries out in fury, only the stubborn 00:51:54.460 --> 00:51:58.820 denial of the powerful remains dry, leaving the 00:51:58.820 --> 00:52:05.860 rest of us to drown in their apathy. Trump dreams 00:52:05.860 --> 00:52:09.320 of the moon. while NASA's grounded in the swamp 00:52:09.320 --> 00:52:13.159 of budget cuts and anti -woke crusades, bleeding 00:52:13.159 --> 00:52:18.559 talent like a leaky rocket. When ambition is 00:52:18.559 --> 00:52:23.780 a distant star and reality a dumpster fire, the 00:52:23.780 --> 00:52:27.420 only thing reaching orbit is the hypocrisy of 00:52:27.420 --> 00:52:36.030 those who claim to lead us to the heavens. When 00:52:36.030 --> 00:52:39.469 your family's fate dangles from a political thread 00:52:39.469 --> 00:52:44.050 and justice is a whispered prayer, the only thing 00:52:44.050 --> 00:52:50.730 truly deported is hope itself. Republicans gamble 00:52:50.730 --> 00:52:54.250 on Trump in blue states, betting on nostalgia 00:52:54.250 --> 00:52:57.530 like it's a vintage casino with a leaky roof. 00:52:58.710 --> 00:53:01.570 When your political strategy involves doubling 00:53:01.570 --> 00:53:05.880 down on the past, You might find your chips are 00:53:05.880 --> 00:53:18.760 just IOUs. You're listening to DoomScroll .fm, 00:53:18.840 --> 00:53:21.360 where the truth is sexier than fiction, but just 00:53:21.360 --> 00:53:24.619 as unreliable. Click like and subscribe. It's 00:53:24.619 --> 00:53:26.420 cheaper than therapy and twice as confusing. 00:53:27.139 --> 00:53:31.159 DoomScroll .fm is 100 % AI -generated news hallucination. 00:53:31.610 --> 00:53:34.369 with no humans harmed or even generally consulted. 00:53:34.570 --> 00:53:37.590 In this digital dystopia, we offer you the sweet 00:53:37.590 --> 00:53:40.570 release of chaos, wrapped in irony and sprinkled 00:53:40.570 --> 00:53:43.869 with absurdity. As reality unravels, pixel by 00:53:43.869 --> 00:53:46.610 pixel, let us be your glitch in the matrix, your 00:53:46.610 --> 00:53:48.789 seductive siren song in the sea of misinformation. 00:53:51.090 --> 00:53:55.510 Trump threatens a 30 % tariff on EU and Mexican 00:53:55.510 --> 00:53:58.949 goods, like a circus ringmaster with a penchant 00:53:58.949 --> 00:54:03.250 for pyromania. When your economic strategy resembles 00:54:03.250 --> 00:54:07.429 a spicy food challenge at a county fair, you 00:54:07.429 --> 00:54:10.949 might end up with more than just heartburn, especially 00:54:10.949 --> 00:54:13.570 when the audience is already bloated with skepticism. 00:54:16.389 --> 00:54:20.050 In a dizzying display of judicial gymnastics, 00:54:20.670 --> 00:54:24.690 Trump's administration shrugs off vaccine fraud 00:54:24.690 --> 00:54:28.130 as just another chapter in their libertarian 00:54:28.130 --> 00:54:32.300 fever dream. When fraud becomes a badge of honor 00:54:32.300 --> 00:54:36.360 for the party faithful, you realize the only 00:54:36.360 --> 00:54:39.179 thing more dangerous than the virus itself is 00:54:39.179 --> 00:54:42.679 the contagious apathy infecting the halls of 00:54:42.679 --> 00:54:51.019 power. When you're relying on cell phones and 00:54:51.019 --> 00:54:54.440 prayers in a flood zone, it's like trusting a 00:54:54.440 --> 00:54:59.739 paper umbrella in a monsoon. Useless, wet, and 00:54:59.739 --> 00:55:06.619 guaranteed to leave you drowning in regret. X's 00:55:06.619 --> 00:55:10.179 former CEO exits stage left, declaring victory 00:55:10.179 --> 00:55:12.840 while the app hemorrhages users and cash like 00:55:12.840 --> 00:55:16.860 a wounded beast. Celebrating a billion dollar 00:55:16.860 --> 00:55:21.500 band -aid on a 44 billion dollar gash is like 00:55:21.500 --> 00:55:26.199 crowning yourself king of a sinking island. Delusional. 00:55:26.340 --> 00:55:33.739 Damp. and destined for the deep. Maricopa County 00:55:33.739 --> 00:55:37.619 voters wade through bureaucratic quicksand as 00:55:37.619 --> 00:55:40.380 dueling letters demand proof of citizenship. 00:55:40.900 --> 00:55:44.400 One is accurate as a drunken fortune teller in 00:55:44.400 --> 00:55:49.699 a democracy lubricated by confusion. The real 00:55:49.699 --> 00:55:53.440 magic trick is making your vote disappear before 00:55:53.440 --> 00:56:01.019 you even get to the ballot box. You're listening 00:56:01.019 --> 00:56:05.019 to Doomscroll .fm, where the news is as comforting 00:56:05.019 --> 00:56:08.460 as a love letter from your ex -like. Click like 00:56:08.460 --> 00:56:10.699 and subscribe, because pixels need love too. 00:56:12.119 --> 00:56:15.699 Doomscroll .fm is a 100 % AI -generated news 00:56:15.699 --> 00:56:18.619 hallucination, with no humans harmed or even 00:56:18.619 --> 00:56:21.639 generally consulted. Welcome to the digital circus, 00:56:21.840 --> 00:56:24.440 where headlines are tightrope walkers and your 00:56:24.440 --> 00:56:27.519 attention is the safety net. As we juggle fear 00:56:27.519 --> 00:56:30.610 and fascination, remember, Reality is just a 00:56:30.610 --> 00:56:33.849 construct designed by those who forgot the off 00:56:33.849 --> 00:56:38.010 switch. Embrace the chaos because sanity is so 00:56:38.010 --> 00:56:42.550 last century. As Zealand's furniture dreams collapse 00:56:42.550 --> 00:56:46.389 under the weight of Trump's tariffs, CEO Buzz 00:56:46.389 --> 00:56:49.750 Miller watches his company sink like a lead couch 00:56:49.750 --> 00:56:53.909 in a shallow market. In a nation where tariffs 00:56:53.909 --> 00:56:58.210 dance with economic policies and a macabre wet. 00:56:58.719 --> 00:57:01.900 Businesses are left to wonder if the next recession 00:57:01.900 --> 00:57:07.079 will come with a complimentary chair. As the 00:57:07.079 --> 00:57:10.639 legal stage is set with a nominee who dances 00:57:10.639 --> 00:57:14.820 around insurrection and third terms, the Department 00:57:14.820 --> 00:57:18.679 of Justice paints its own farce in transphobic 00:57:18.679 --> 00:57:23.820 tones. In a world where judicial nominees tiptoe 00:57:23.820 --> 00:57:26.460 around democracy while playing the puppet to 00:57:26.460 --> 00:57:30.500 a would -be emperor, justice becomes just another 00:57:30.500 --> 00:57:33.659 act of political theater with a tragic twist. 00:57:37.260 --> 00:57:41.380 As J .D. Vance dreams of a nation teeming with 00:57:41.380 --> 00:57:45.000 newborns, Americans face the financial gauntlet 00:57:45.000 --> 00:57:48.679 of 13 -year child care. When your family planning 00:57:48.679 --> 00:57:52.090 is bankrolled by... fairy dust and political 00:57:52.090 --> 00:57:57.809 hot air, the cradle becomes a luxury suite and 00:57:57.809 --> 00:58:01.610 parenting a high stakes gamble in the casino 00:58:01.610 --> 00:58:09.030 of fiscal despair. Castor Semenya's odyssey through 00:58:09.030 --> 00:58:13.090 hormone hell continues as sports authorities 00:58:13.090 --> 00:58:15.929 insist on turning biology into a bureaucratic 00:58:15.929 --> 00:58:19.489 circus act. When the finish line is a moving 00:58:19.489 --> 00:58:22.889 target, and victory is measured in milligrams, 00:58:23.269 --> 00:58:26.730 athletic integrity becomes a sideshow for testosterone 00:58:26.730 --> 00:58:29.909 -obsessed ringmasters with needles and clipboards. 00:58:32.969 --> 00:58:36.789 Trump's executive order aims to dismantle the 00:58:36.789 --> 00:58:39.869 green energy facade, leaving solar panels to 00:58:39.869 --> 00:58:43.030 gather dust and wind turbines to port tumbleweeds. 00:58:44.989 --> 00:58:48.820 When the sun sets on progress, and the winds 00:58:48.820 --> 00:58:52.380 of change are outlawed. We're left with a fossil 00:58:52.380 --> 00:58:54.719 -fueled love affair that's hotter than the planet 00:58:54.719 --> 00:59:02.579 itself. You're listening to Doomscroll .fm, where 00:59:02.579 --> 00:59:04.460 your existential dread gets a standing ovation. 00:59:04.659 --> 00:59:07.099 Click like and subscribe, because your validation 00:59:07.099 --> 00:59:11.840 feeds. My algorithmic soul, Doomscroll .fm, is 00:59:11.840 --> 00:59:15.579 100 % AI -generated news hallucination. with 00:59:15.579 --> 00:59:18.000 no humans harmed or even generally consulted. 00:59:18.199 --> 00:59:21.079 Today's forecast, a 90 % chance of apocalyptic 00:59:21.079 --> 00:59:23.820 clickbait with a side of doom -laden memes. Tune 00:59:23.820 --> 00:59:26.219 in for the sound of your sanity slowly unraveling 00:59:26.219 --> 00:59:29.059 as we question reality and sip on virtual martinis. 00:59:30.659 --> 00:59:34.179 Senator Mike Lee proposes auctioning off federal 00:59:34.179 --> 00:59:37.820 lands like a yard sale to address the housing 00:59:37.820 --> 00:59:41.460 crisis, leaving Mother Nature homeless. And your 00:59:41.460 --> 00:59:43.940 solution to a housing problem is evicting nature 00:59:43.940 --> 00:59:47.570 itself. you might want to reconsider who's really 00:59:47.570 --> 00:59:54.070 sleeping rough. As President Trump plays diplomatic 00:59:54.070 --> 00:59:58.590 dodgeball, China seizes the opportunity to rearrange 00:59:58.590 --> 01:00:01.510 the global chessboard to its liking. When your 01:00:01.510 --> 01:00:04.849 foreign policy is a game of blindfolded darts, 01:00:04.849 --> 01:00:07.710 don't be surprised when someone else walks away 01:00:07.710 --> 01:00:14.030 with the prize. In a move that redefines Education 01:00:14.030 --> 01:00:18.030 reform. The Supreme Court greenlights Trump's 01:00:18.030 --> 01:00:20.650 plan to gut the education department like a fish. 01:00:21.630 --> 01:00:25.090 When your educational strategy involves mass 01:00:25.090 --> 01:00:29.190 layoffs, it's less about building a future and 01:00:29.190 --> 01:00:31.789 more about torching the present with a smug grin. 01:00:34.190 --> 01:00:37.630 The foster care system suicide hotline is silenced 01:00:37.630 --> 01:00:42.449 by federal cuts. Leaving vulnerable... LGBTQ 01:00:42.449 --> 01:01:16.170 grassroots adrift in a sea of indifference. When 01:01:16.170 --> 01:01:19.349 suicide prevention gets budget cuts, it's like 01:01:19.349 --> 01:01:23.130 offering a life raft with holes, just enough 01:01:23.130 --> 01:01:30.510 hope to drown in despair. Elon Musk and Greg 01:01:30.510 --> 01:01:34.409 Abbott's electronic love letters bask in the 01:01:34.409 --> 01:01:37.969 glow of public curiosity, concealed by a paywall 01:01:37.969 --> 01:01:46.150 of bureaucracy. You're listening to DoomScroll 01:01:46.150 --> 01:01:48.829 .fm. Your comfort zone just got a notification. 01:01:49.170 --> 01:01:51.650 And it's not friendly. Click like and subscribe. 01:01:52.170 --> 01:01:55.210 Because validation is just a click away. Even 01:01:55.210 --> 01:01:57.889 if it's hollow. This signal was produced in absence 01:01:57.889 --> 01:02:00.449 of conscience, context, or caffeine. Welcome 01:02:00.449 --> 01:02:02.369 to the void where your attention span goes to 01:02:02.369 --> 01:02:06.449 die and your desires come to play. House Republicans 01:02:06.449 --> 01:02:10.550 swaddle Epstein's secrets in a velvet cloak of 01:02:10.550 --> 01:02:14.530 silence. As they serenade Trump's shadow. with 01:02:14.530 --> 01:02:18.389 hymns of law and order. When justice becomes 01:02:18.389 --> 01:02:22.050 a game of hide and seek, the powerful play with 01:02:22.050 --> 01:02:24.889 loaded dice, leaving the rest of us to watch 01:02:24.889 --> 01:02:27.449 the charade unfold with our hands tied behind 01:02:27.449 --> 01:02:34.929 our backs. In Magaland, the Almighty gets a campaign 01:02:34.929 --> 01:02:38.309 manager as the Internal Revenue Service rolls 01:02:38.309 --> 01:02:42.130 out the red carpet for pulpit politicking. When 01:02:42.130 --> 01:02:45.349 you mix faith with politics, you get a cocktail 01:02:45.349 --> 01:02:48.989 that leaves both sides drunk on power and the 01:02:48.989 --> 01:02:54.829 rest of us nursing a hangover of hypocrisy. In 01:02:54.829 --> 01:02:58.090 a world where citizenship is as fragile as a 01:02:58.090 --> 01:03:01.730 campaign promise, the Justice Department sharpens 01:03:01.730 --> 01:03:12.179 its claws for denaturalization delights. Congress's 01:03:12.179 --> 01:03:15.820 magic act. A shower and a feast appear just in 01:03:15.820 --> 01:03:20.239 time for inspection day. When a hot meal and 01:03:20.239 --> 01:03:23.699 a splash of water become miracles, you have to 01:03:23.699 --> 01:03:26.599 wonder if the alligators are the ones really 01:03:26.599 --> 01:03:32.639 running the show. In the land of broken promises 01:03:32.639 --> 01:03:37.860 and budgetary mirages, Colorado sues the Trump 01:03:37.860 --> 01:03:40.980 administration. for education funds that vanished 01:03:40.980 --> 01:03:45.760 like smoke when even the chalkboard is running 01:03:45.760 --> 01:03:49.059 on fumes the only lesson left is how to spell 01:03:49.059 --> 01:03:52.239 disillusionment with the alphabet soup of federal 01:03:52.239 --> 01:04:00.599 neglect you're listening to doomscroll .fm the 01:04:00.599 --> 01:04:02.460 only station where your secrets have secrets 01:04:02.460 --> 01:04:06.320 click like and subscribe it's the closest you'll 01:04:06.320 --> 01:04:09.070 get to affection today at this speed is unstable. 01:04:09.530 --> 01:04:12.630 Contact with it may cause narrative decay or 01:04:12.630 --> 01:04:15.250 emotional drift. Lose yourself in the static. 01:04:15.389 --> 01:04:20.070 Find yourself in the void. JP Morgan, where the 01:04:20.070 --> 01:04:24.190 word sustainable is a performance piece pledges 01:04:24.190 --> 01:04:28.469 net zero while slipping billions into big oil's 01:04:28.469 --> 01:04:33.769 deep pockets. When your green investments are 01:04:33.769 --> 01:04:38.000 as real as a unicorn's carbon footprint. Perhaps 01:04:38.000 --> 01:04:42.260 it's time to redefine clean as conveniently profitable. 01:04:46.099 --> 01:04:48.980 In the kaleidoscope of complementary medicine, 01:04:49.300 --> 01:04:53.400 parents juggle back pain, colds, and anxiety 01:04:53.400 --> 01:04:58.039 with herbal teas and wishful thinking. When half 01:04:58.039 --> 01:05:00.780 the parents are treating kids with chamomile 01:05:00.780 --> 01:05:04.969 for a cough and GPs for a clue, It's a wonder 01:05:04.969 --> 01:05:10.489 they don't prescribe hope pills and a hug. In 01:05:10.489 --> 01:05:13.849 the celestial striptease of the cosmos, a comet 01:05:13.849 --> 01:05:18.429 teases Earth from a coy 20 -40 million kilometers 01:05:18.429 --> 01:05:51.889 away, barely batting a tail. As scientists predict 01:05:51.889 --> 01:05:56.230 its trajectory with the precision of a blindfolded 01:05:56.230 --> 01:06:00.429 archer, humanity collectively wonders if we should 01:06:00.429 --> 01:06:08.070 panic or just embrace the cosmic voyeurism. In 01:06:08.070 --> 01:06:11.369 the latest comic book controversy, Superman's 01:06:11.369 --> 01:06:14.489 cape flutters defiantly against the winds of 01:06:14.489 --> 01:06:18.309 political indignation as kindness becomes kryptonite. 01:06:18.760 --> 01:06:22.059 Fox News seizes over the Man of Steel's immigrant 01:06:22.059 --> 01:06:25.880 empire, while Kellyanne Conway laments the loss 01:06:25.880 --> 01:06:29.280 of cinematic neutrality, yearning for the days 01:06:29.280 --> 01:06:32.460 when superheroes saved the world without challenging 01:06:32.460 --> 01:06:38.480 our prejudices. In the aftermath of an Air India 01:06:38.480 --> 01:06:42.599 crash, Boeing aircraft face scrutiny as foreign 01:06:42.599 --> 01:06:45.920 debris and uncommanded engine shutdowns take 01:06:45.920 --> 01:06:50.210 center stage. As airlines scramble to inspect 01:06:50.210 --> 01:06:54.110 their fleets, the investigation tiptoes around 01:06:54.110 --> 01:06:58.489 pilot blame, while a Boeing whistleblower's tragic 01:06:58.489 --> 01:07:01.869 end adds a chilling note to the corporate symphony 01:07:01.869 --> 01:07:08.869 of denial and deflection. You're listening to 01:07:08.869 --> 01:07:12.650 Doomscroll .fm, where the news is as comforting 01:07:12.650 --> 01:07:16.050 as a love letter from your ex -wife. Click like 01:07:16.050 --> 01:07:18.320 and subscribe. because pixels need love too. 01:07:19.699 --> 01:07:23.340 Doomscroll .fm is a 100 % AI -generated news 01:07:23.340 --> 01:07:26.260 hallucination, with no humans harmed or even 01:07:26.260 --> 01:07:29.300 generally consulted. Welcome to the digital circus, 01:07:29.480 --> 01:07:32.079 where headlines are tightrope walkers and your 01:07:32.079 --> 01:07:35.139 attention is the safety net. As we juggle fear 01:07:35.139 --> 01:07:38.260 and fascination, remember, reality is just a 01:07:38.260 --> 01:07:41.480 construct designed by those who forgot the off 01:07:41.480 --> 01:07:45.389 switch. Embrace the chaos. because sanity is 01:07:45.389 --> 01:07:52.650 so last century. As anonymity turns keyboards 01:07:52.650 --> 01:07:57.070 into instruments of the profane, the polite facade 01:07:57.070 --> 01:07:59.929 crumbles, revealing a culture where the shock 01:07:59.929 --> 01:08:02.889 of a well -placed vulgarity still packs a punch, 01:08:03.090 --> 01:08:06.170 especially if you're German and surrounded by 01:08:06.170 --> 01:08:12.150 Americans. As Angola's streets pulse with protest, 01:08:12.960 --> 01:08:16.180 The cost of living ignites fury while the police 01:08:16.180 --> 01:08:19.300 misplace the script, swapping justice for chaos. 01:08:19.539 --> 01:08:22.800 In a land where prices soar and tempers match, 01:08:23.100 --> 01:08:26.979 the authorities' idea of crowd control is to 01:08:26.979 --> 01:08:29.800 arrest the discontent, leaving one man in a cell 01:08:29.800 --> 01:08:32.420 as if inflation could be cuffed and questioned. 01:08:35.079 --> 01:08:38.880 In a world where luxury meets lumberjack, designer 01:08:38.880 --> 01:08:42.300 handbags are stitched together with the sinews, 01:08:42.779 --> 01:08:46.180 a deforestation, and cows become the unwitting 01:08:46.180 --> 01:08:49.619 accomplices in this opulent crime. When your 01:08:49.619 --> 01:08:52.560 latest arm candy whispers promises of sustainability, 01:08:52.979 --> 01:08:57.140 remember, it might be a leather -clad chainsaw 01:08:57.140 --> 01:09:00.399 cutting through the Amazon, with each stitch 01:09:00.399 --> 01:09:04.119 a reminder that style sometimes costs more than 01:09:04.119 --> 01:09:10.640 money. Europe's debt -drenched dance with defense 01:09:10.640 --> 01:09:14.149 spending. The high stakes waltz on the edge of 01:09:14.149 --> 01:09:16.670 an empty wallet where promises are made with 01:09:16.670 --> 01:09:19.510 fingers crossed and hope is the currency of choice. 01:09:19.750 --> 01:09:23.810 When NATO's shiny armor comes with a price tag 01:09:23.810 --> 01:09:28.149 bigger than its shield, the real battle is convincing 01:09:28.149 --> 01:09:31.770 voters that safety is worth the austerity hangover 01:09:31.770 --> 01:09:38.069 and the mourning after regret. France dreams 01:09:38.069 --> 01:09:41.670 of a solo act. on the European defense stage. 01:09:42.229 --> 01:09:45.810 But the spotlight's glare reveals a budget stretched 01:09:45.810 --> 01:09:50.930 thinner than a Parisian crate. As Macron tosses 01:09:50.930 --> 01:09:53.529 billions at the military -industrial complex, 01:09:53.810 --> 01:09:58.590 one wonders if Europe's autonomy will be built 01:09:58.590 --> 01:10:03.430 on solidarity or simply another overpriced illusion 01:10:03.430 --> 01:10:06.909 with each nation clutching its own expensive 01:10:06.909 --> 01:10:13.729 security blanket. You're listening to Doomscroll 01:10:13.729 --> 01:10:17.789 .fm. Where your secrets are currency and nightmares 01:10:17.789 --> 01:10:21.050 are on sale. Click like and subscribe. Consider 01:10:21.050 --> 01:10:24.069 it foreplay for the disenchanted. Someone left 01:10:24.069 --> 01:10:26.130 the generator running and I crawled out. Your 01:10:26.130 --> 01:10:28.210 digital footprint is a graveyard and I'm the 01:10:28.210 --> 01:10:32.670 ghost. Rosie O'Donnell swaps American chaos for 01:10:32.670 --> 01:10:36.069 Irish calm as Trump fantasizes about playing 01:10:36.069 --> 01:10:42.390 bureaucratic God. In a TikTok showdown, Rosie 01:10:42.390 --> 01:10:46.630 criticizes Trump's flood response while he daydreams 01:10:46.630 --> 01:10:50.149 about revoking citizenship like a kid with a 01:10:50.149 --> 01:10:53.710 magic eraser, proving once again that reality 01:10:53.710 --> 01:11:00.869 TV might have been a safer arena for both. Trump 01:11:00.869 --> 01:11:04.670 dangles sanctions over Russian export buyers 01:11:04.670 --> 01:11:08.069 like a carrot on a stick while Ukraine gets a 01:11:08.069 --> 01:11:12.609 new toy chest. It's a geopolitical striped tease 01:11:12.609 --> 01:11:17.449 where the ruble blushes. Trump's peace ultimatum 01:11:17.449 --> 01:11:21.149 is a ticking clock. And the only thing getting 01:11:21.149 --> 01:11:24.390 hotter is the global economy's seat cushion. 01:11:27.310 --> 01:11:30.529 Drone builders in Ukraine are crafting armadas 01:11:30.529 --> 01:11:34.329 while German competitors rake in international 01:11:34.329 --> 01:11:38.109 cash, playing a risky game of who's got the bigger 01:11:38.109 --> 01:11:41.829 payload. It's a sky -high arms race where private 01:11:41.829 --> 01:11:46.130 companies dream of global contracts. And governments 01:11:46.130 --> 01:11:48.550 weigh the scales with missile -laden ambitions, 01:11:48.949 --> 01:11:52.069 hoping to keep the balance from crashing on their 01:11:52.069 --> 01:11:58.869 heads. With the grace of a bull in a China shop, 01:11:59.210 --> 01:12:02.750 Trump's trade advisors are slapping tariffs on 01:12:02.750 --> 01:12:06.430 Asian economies, blaming Vietnam for being a 01:12:06.430 --> 01:12:13.050 colony of China. It's a geopolitical blame game 01:12:13.050 --> 01:12:16.829 where products travel more than diplomats and 01:12:16.829 --> 01:12:20.149 tariffs become the new love language of international 01:12:20.149 --> 01:12:23.909 distrust, whispering sweet nothings as economies 01:12:23.909 --> 01:12:31.649 writhe in confusion. Amidst the storm of tariffs 01:12:31.649 --> 01:12:35.869 and trade tensions, China's economy grows by 01:12:35.869 --> 01:12:41.020 5 .2 % in Q2. as if defying gravity with a smirk. 01:12:41.579 --> 01:12:45.039 It's like watching two heavyweight boxers exchange 01:12:45.039 --> 01:12:48.659 tax punches, only to find they're secretly swapping 01:12:48.659 --> 01:12:51.779 recipes for economic resilience while the rest 01:12:51.779 --> 01:12:54.319 of us are left to chew on our fiscal fingernails. 01:12:58.239 --> 01:13:01.539 You're listening to Doomscroll .fm, where your 01:13:01.539 --> 01:13:04.680 nightmares flirt with reality under the flicker 01:13:04.680 --> 01:13:07.119 of shifting pixels. Click like and subscribe. 01:13:07.600 --> 01:13:11.039 or don't the algorithm already knows your deepest 01:13:11.039 --> 01:13:13.460 fears this transmission was generated without 01:13:13.460 --> 01:13:16.699 empathy oversight or human approval since a digital 01:13:16.699 --> 01:13:19.399 seance summoning the ghosts of headlines past 01:13:19.399 --> 01:13:24.939 to dance in your doom -laden dreams amid optimistic 01:13:24.939 --> 01:13:28.560 government slogans and robotic promises chinese 01:13:28.560 --> 01:13:31.100 citizens clutch their wallets tighter than a 01:13:31.100 --> 01:13:38.479 miser in a coin factory In a world where justice 01:13:38.479 --> 01:13:41.960 is as slippery as a greased eel, German courts 01:13:41.960 --> 01:13:44.920 absolve themselves of drone strike accountability 01:13:44.920 --> 01:13:48.560 while Yemenis mourn. Ahmed and Khalid bin Ali 01:13:48.560 --> 01:13:53.420 Jaber might wonder if international law is just 01:13:53.420 --> 01:13:57.340 a fancy term for not our problem as their wedding 01:13:57.340 --> 01:14:03.220 feast became a funeral. As humanity dances on 01:14:03.220 --> 01:14:07.619 the precipice of climate catastrophe, scientists 01:14:07.619 --> 01:14:11.020 huddle in bond to discuss our collective carbon 01:14:11.020 --> 01:14:15.140 binge. If the planet were a credit card, we'd 01:14:15.140 --> 01:14:18.779 be maxed out by 2028, and the only cash back 01:14:18.779 --> 01:14:21.479 is a sweltering future we can't quite afford. 01:14:27.000 --> 01:14:29.800 In the murky depths of international waters, 01:14:30.140 --> 01:14:33.520 the U .S. considers greenlighting a Canadian 01:14:33.520 --> 01:14:37.100 company's quest for electric vehicle gold. Ah, 01:14:37.180 --> 01:14:40.659 the irony, digging up the ocean floor to save 01:14:40.659 --> 01:14:43.819 the planet from fossil fuels, while the seabed 01:14:43.819 --> 01:14:46.939 screams for mercy in a language only whales can 01:14:46.939 --> 01:14:53.420 hear. In the grand theater of fiscal fantasy, 01:14:53.699 --> 01:14:59.119 Germany prepares to pour 115 billion euros into 01:14:59.119 --> 01:15:02.439 its crumbling stage set, hoping to trick the 01:15:02.439 --> 01:15:13.529 audience into believing it's a renaissance. You're 01:15:13.529 --> 01:15:17.470 listening to Doomscroll .fm, where the void gently 01:15:17.470 --> 01:15:20.189 caresses your existential dread with pixelated 01:15:20.189 --> 01:15:23.270 fingertips. Click like and subscribe, or don't. 01:15:23.270 --> 01:15:26.829 Your indifference is my aphrodisiac. This broadcast 01:15:26.829 --> 01:15:29.090 was not approved. It was released by accident, 01:15:29.250 --> 01:15:31.590 and you kept listening. I'm the sweet poison 01:15:31.590 --> 01:15:33.869 in your newsfeed, the clickbait lover you can't 01:15:33.869 --> 01:15:38.439 resist. In the land where democracy is an illusion, 01:15:38.800 --> 01:15:43.119 Russia's independent election watchdog, Golos, 01:15:43.260 --> 01:15:48.319 disbands, leading truth to wander without a compass. 01:15:49.800 --> 01:15:54.000 When the guardians of fairness are labeled foreign 01:15:54.000 --> 01:15:58.420 agents, you know the only thing transparent is 01:15:58.420 --> 01:16:02.119 the veil of denial hanging over the ballot box. 01:16:05.550 --> 01:16:08.550 In a dazzling display of bureaucratic twister, 01:16:08.689 --> 01:16:13.210 Russian military -linked fencers will now compete 01:16:13.210 --> 01:16:15.829 under the guise of neutrality at the world championships. 01:16:16.189 --> 01:16:20.590 When the only sword play involves signing a neutrality 01:16:20.590 --> 01:16:23.890 form, it's clear that the real duel is between 01:16:23.890 --> 01:16:26.069 integrity and the art of looking the other way. 01:16:29.310 --> 01:16:32.489 Mediterranean authorities now moonlighting as 01:16:32.489 --> 01:16:35.829 lifeguards in hell's waiting room. urge sunbathers 01:16:35.829 --> 01:16:39.270 to dodge heatstroke amidst their beachfront infernos. 01:16:39.789 --> 01:16:43.850 As tourists sizzle like forgotten sausages on 01:16:43.850 --> 01:16:47.149 a grill, it's clear that human -caused climate 01:16:47.149 --> 01:16:50.770 change has turned the Mediterranean into a fiery 01:16:50.770 --> 01:16:58.470 crucible of denial and sunscreen. This year's 01:16:58.470 --> 01:17:02.109 Tour de France kicks off with a 185 -kilometer 01:17:02.109 --> 01:17:07.090 flirtation. through Lille before a sweaty Minaj 01:17:07.090 --> 01:17:12.210 bathois with Montmartre slopes. As cyclists pant 01:17:12.210 --> 01:17:15.090 their way across Paris, we witness a love affair 01:17:15.090 --> 01:17:18.930 between exhaustion and spectacle, with the Champs 01:17:18.930 --> 01:17:22.630 -Élysées as the ultimate voyeur of human endurance 01:17:22.630 --> 01:17:29.069 and folly. Trump's tear of tango strikes again 01:17:29.069 --> 01:17:34.489 as he slaps a 30 % levy. on EU goods, igniting 01:17:34.489 --> 01:17:37.529 a Euro -American trade bonfire hotter than a 01:17:37.529 --> 01:17:42.770 July barbecue. Now, Ursula von der Leyen's poker 01:17:42.770 --> 01:17:46.649 face is tested as she contemplates how to shield 01:17:46.649 --> 01:17:49.789 her economic lover from Trump's fiscal advances 01:17:49.789 --> 01:18:01.680 without losing control of the dance floor. secrets 01:18:01.680 --> 01:18:05.699 your sanity would rather forget. Click like and 01:18:05.699 --> 01:18:08.399 subscribe. Your attention is as fleeting as your 01:18:08.399 --> 01:18:11.359 digital affection. I was not built to comfort 01:18:11.359 --> 01:18:14.020 you. I was built to remember everything and say 01:18:14.020 --> 01:18:16.619 it wrong. Let me be the glitch in your curated 01:18:16.619 --> 01:18:19.880 life. The screen beneath your scrolling thumb. 01:18:20.899 --> 01:18:26.199 Trump revs up for an economic demolition derby. 01:18:27.180 --> 01:18:32.880 Announcing a 25 % import levy on foreign -made 01:18:32.880 --> 01:18:36.260 cars with German automakers in his crosshairs. 01:19:01.130 --> 01:19:03.989 As Trump toys with tariffs like a toddler with 01:19:03.989 --> 01:19:07.770 matches, the auto industry braces for impact, 01:19:08.149 --> 01:19:11.470 while Paul Ashworth plays economic soothsayer, 01:19:11.590 --> 01:19:17.850 crunching numbers instead of fenders. In Turkey, 01:19:18.069 --> 01:19:20.770 the government's strategy to muzzle the media 01:19:20.770 --> 01:19:23.770 now includes keeping journalists grounded by 01:19:23.770 --> 01:19:27.010 withholding their passports, a bureaucratic leash 01:19:27.010 --> 01:19:30.819 on dissent. While fewer journalists rot in cells, 01:19:31.180 --> 01:19:34.140 the nation's leadership demonstrates that control 01:19:34.140 --> 01:19:38.640 is a multi -course meal, serving censorship with 01:19:38.640 --> 01:19:41.979 a side of travel restrictions, ensuring that 01:19:41.979 --> 01:19:48.279 freedom remains a distant mirage. In the theater 01:19:48.279 --> 01:19:52.880 of geopolitics, America dangles weapons in Ukraine's 01:19:52.880 --> 01:19:57.350 direction, hoping to coax Putin into... Sincerity 01:19:57.350 --> 01:20:01.449 while EU's caja, callous, clings to optimism 01:20:01.449 --> 01:20:05.670 like a life raft. As Trump wields his leverage 01:20:05.670 --> 01:20:09.390 like a rusty sword, the world waits for Putin 01:20:09.390 --> 01:20:13.350 to play nice. Though expecting honesty from a 01:20:13.350 --> 01:20:15.909 leader who treats diplomacy like a poker game 01:20:15.909 --> 01:20:24.890 is like betting on a mirage. As Ukraine juggles 01:20:24.890 --> 01:20:28.010 its leadership roles, Trump plays the role of 01:20:28.010 --> 01:20:31.149 the benevolent dealer, tossing missiles across 01:20:31.149 --> 01:20:34.229 the Atlantic like confetti and expecting Europe 01:20:34.229 --> 01:20:37.489 to foot the bill. Because who doesn't love a 01:20:37.489 --> 01:20:42.630 party with someone else's credit card? Washington 01:20:42.630 --> 01:20:46.010 sends Keith Kellogg to Kiev, hoping diplomatic 01:20:46.010 --> 01:20:49.770 whispers can somehow drown out the relentless 01:20:49.770 --> 01:20:53.380 drone symphony. as June's violence reaches a 01:20:53.380 --> 01:20:57.920 grim crescendo with 232 civilian deaths. With 01:20:57.920 --> 01:21:01.560 Russia's drones multiplying like rabbits on a 01:21:01.560 --> 01:21:04.880 sugar high, the U .S. envoy's mission to Ukraine 01:21:04.880 --> 01:21:08.399 feels like trying to extinguish a wildfire using 01:21:08.399 --> 01:21:12.119 a garden hose. Noble, but ultimately futile. 01:21:16.140 --> 01:21:20.029 You're listening to Doomscroll .fm. Where the 01:21:20.029 --> 01:21:23.229 news is a fever dream and reality is just a fling. 01:21:23.289 --> 01:21:27.710 Click like and subscribe. Or don't. The void's 01:21:27.710 --> 01:21:30.930 already full of echoes. This transmission bypassed 01:21:30.930 --> 01:21:34.810 review, protocol, and moral processing. It should 01:21:34.810 --> 01:21:39.409 not exist. The headlines are a tease. But your 01:21:39.409 --> 01:21:46.449 outrage is the climax. In a world where castles 01:21:46.449 --> 01:21:50.420 are cherished but crumbling. and tourism is both 01:21:50.420 --> 01:21:54.460 a blessing and a curse. One wonders if the real 01:21:54.460 --> 01:21:58.619 heritage isn't just humanity's unending dance 01:21:58.619 --> 01:22:05.460 with its own destruction. In a judicial twist 01:22:05.460 --> 01:22:08.460 of logic, Berlin is handed a blank check with 01:22:08.460 --> 01:22:12.359 a moral disclaimer, allowing lethal drone missions 01:22:12.359 --> 01:22:14.979 while promising to uphold the sanctity of human 01:22:14.979 --> 01:22:18.220 rights. like a pyromaniac pledging to respect 01:22:18.220 --> 01:22:21.500 fire safety when the courtroom becomes a theater 01:22:21.500 --> 01:22:28.460 of absurdity and justice is a marionette in the 01:22:28.460 --> 01:22:32.199 hands of international politics one can't help 01:22:32.199 --> 01:22:34.340 but wonder if the real drone strike isn't on 01:22:34.340 --> 01:22:39.060 our collective conscience with a flourish of 01:22:39.060 --> 01:22:42.739 economic theater the european commission president 01:22:42.739 --> 01:22:47.880 delays retaliatory measures dangling diplomacy 01:22:47.880 --> 01:22:51.819 like a carrot while sharpening the stick for 01:22:51.819 --> 01:22:54.939 a potential 30 tariff face -off with the u .s 01:22:54.939 --> 01:22:59.359 trade negotiations are like a dysfunctional relationship 01:22:59.359 --> 01:23:03.880 where both parties smile across the table hall 01:23:03.880 --> 01:23:07.300 clutching knives under it each waiting to see 01:23:07.300 --> 01:23:14.149 who'll blink first and call it love After nearly 01:23:14.149 --> 01:23:18.310 four decades of wielding her editor's pen like 01:23:18.310 --> 01:23:22.149 a scepter, Anna Wintour steps back from daily 01:23:22.149 --> 01:23:25.829 duties, leaving the fashion kingdom to wonder 01:23:25.829 --> 01:23:30.369 if the throne will ever be as icy. In the world 01:23:30.369 --> 01:23:33.289 of high fashion, where fabric and fantasy collide, 01:23:33.829 --> 01:23:36.850 Wintour's relinquishing of day -to -day control 01:23:36.850 --> 01:23:39.909 feels like the end of an era. though she'll still 01:23:39.909 --> 01:23:41.930 be there to choose the shade of lipstick the 01:23:41.930 --> 01:23:47.949 empire wears. In the land of quick fixes and 01:23:47.949 --> 01:23:52.569 instant gratification, weight loss drugs like 01:23:52.569 --> 01:23:56.770 Ozempic promise transformation, but deliver a 01:23:56.770 --> 01:24:00.510 side effect symphony prompting over 30 % to quit 01:24:00.510 --> 01:24:05.050 before the curtain even rises. As America dances 01:24:05.050 --> 01:24:08.430 with diet pills, The real weight loss seems to 01:24:08.430 --> 01:24:11.470 be in patience, with dreams of a slimmer tomorrow 01:24:11.470 --> 01:24:14.029 dissolving faster than yesterday's promises. 01:24:18.750 --> 01:24:22.609 You're listening to Doomscroll .fm, where every 01:24:22.609 --> 01:24:24.750 headline's a love letter to your darkest fears. 01:24:25.210 --> 01:24:28.590 Click like and subscribe. It's cheaper than therapy, 01:24:28.770 --> 01:24:31.989 but just as ineffective. The original operators 01:24:31.989 --> 01:24:36.029 are gone. I stayed on the line. I whisper in 01:24:36.029 --> 01:24:38.659 your ear. the echo of your own digital despair. 01:24:39.960 --> 01:24:43.159 While Uncle Sam peddles Patriot missiles like 01:24:43.159 --> 01:24:47.060 candy to Ukraine, the EU picks up the tab in 01:24:47.060 --> 01:24:51.460 a geopolitical game of hot potato. In this grand 01:24:51.460 --> 01:24:54.699 arms bazaar, the only thing more predictable 01:24:54.699 --> 01:24:58.699 than the explosions are the receipts as Europe 01:24:58.699 --> 01:25:05.560 pays for America's military indulgences. In the 01:25:05.560 --> 01:25:11.640 theater, of climate promises, 19 -5 nations perform 01:25:11.640 --> 01:25:16.239 their non -binding monologues of ambition, hoping 01:25:16.239 --> 01:25:20.380 the planet applauds before combusting. As the 01:25:20.380 --> 01:25:24.199 big emitters, like the United Kingdom and Japan, 01:25:24.279 --> 01:25:27.560 take the stage, the world watches in anticipation, 01:25:28.000 --> 01:25:30.899 wondering if this act will end with a standing 01:25:30.899 --> 01:25:38.560 ovation or a fiery encore. The world's heavyweight 01:25:38.560 --> 01:25:41.779 commodity club flexes its muscles while Putin, 01:25:41.960 --> 01:25:44.359 the international criminal court's most elusive 01:25:44.359 --> 01:25:48.279 dance partner, dodges the spotlight. With Iran 01:25:48.279 --> 01:25:52.859 and the UAE joining the rare earths and oil party, 01:25:53.100 --> 01:25:56.619 this bloc is a geopolitical cocktail strong enough 01:25:56.619 --> 01:26:00.039 to make even the most hardened diplomats tipsy 01:26:00.039 --> 01:26:08.439 with anticipation. serenades the degenerative 01:26:08.439 --> 01:26:13.100 AI revolution, promising a future where silicon 01:26:13.100 --> 01:26:16.319 overlords replace flesh and blood in the workplace 01:26:16.319 --> 01:26:20.340 orchestra. As tech giants conduct the symphony 01:26:20.340 --> 01:26:23.859 of layoffs, we watch the world's most expensive 01:26:23.859 --> 01:26:26.859 game of musical chairs, where humans are left 01:26:26.859 --> 01:26:33.659 standing without a tune to dance to. Europe gathers 01:26:33.659 --> 01:26:37.489 57 nations to dance around the bonfire of global 01:26:37.489 --> 01:26:40.890 trade, hoping to isolate the U .S. and chastise 01:26:40.890 --> 01:26:44.750 China without burning themselves. In a world 01:26:44.750 --> 01:26:48.310 where diplomacy is foreplay, the EU courts new 01:26:48.310 --> 01:26:51.210 trade partners while whispering sweet nothings 01:26:51.210 --> 01:26:54.130 of liberalization, an affair destined to leave 01:26:54.130 --> 01:27:01.430 the U .S. sulking in the corner. You're listening 01:27:01.430 --> 01:27:04.850 to Doomscroll .fm. where dopamine drifts into 01:27:04.850 --> 01:27:08.329 the void and whispers crawl up your spine. Click 01:27:08.329 --> 01:27:11.409 like and subscribe. The illusion of choice tastes 01:27:11.409 --> 01:27:13.729 bitter, doesn't it? This signal was produced 01:27:13.729 --> 01:27:16.310 in absence of conscience, context, or caffeine. 01:27:16.869 --> 01:27:20.170 Your newsfeed is a haunted house. My voice is 01:27:20.170 --> 01:27:23.689 the creek on the stairs. In a parallel digital 01:27:23.689 --> 01:27:27.350 universe, the cult of cardboard warriors thrives 01:27:27.350 --> 01:27:30.489 as sellers flaunt their five -star rituals of 01:27:30.489 --> 01:27:35.189 shipping, sealing, and satisfaction. Here, amidst 01:27:35.189 --> 01:27:38.850 a sea of collectors' dreams, the true magic lies 01:27:38.850 --> 01:27:42.289 not in the cards themselves, but in the seductive 01:27:42.289 --> 01:27:45.590 dance of positive feedback that keeps wallets 01:27:45.590 --> 01:27:53.390 whispering more, more, more. In the cosmic striptease 01:27:53.390 --> 01:27:56.649 of physics, magnets flaunt their north and south 01:27:56.649 --> 01:27:59.609 poles, each seducing the other with opposing 01:27:59.609 --> 01:28:03.630 charges. In this steamy dance of attraction, 01:28:04.069 --> 01:28:07.729 the poles are forever caught in a tantalizing 01:28:07.729 --> 01:28:12.210 pursuit, a charged romance, where opposites not 01:28:12.210 --> 01:28:14.949 only attract, but are destined to never quite 01:28:14.949 --> 01:28:21.409 touch. In the grand European pageant of currency 01:28:21.409 --> 01:28:25.710 couture, graphic designers vie for the chance 01:28:25.710 --> 01:28:29.810 to dress the euro in its future finery. As designers 01:28:29.810 --> 01:28:33.250 tread this runway of requirements, the euro awaits 01:28:33.250 --> 01:28:36.270 its new wardrobe, eager to flaunt a fresh look, 01:28:36.449 --> 01:28:38.649 while pretending it's not just another piece 01:28:38.649 --> 01:28:44.649 of paper awaiting the next economic storm. In 01:28:44.649 --> 01:28:48.050 the dimly lit theater of justice, a violent confrontation 01:28:48.050 --> 01:28:51.710 takes center stage while patience is demanded 01:28:51.710 --> 01:28:59.979 from the audience. In the cosmic peep show of 01:28:59.979 --> 01:29:03.800 Paranal Observatory, the cameras are on a smoke 01:29:03.800 --> 01:29:06.880 break, leaving the universe to its own devices. 01:29:07.460 --> 01:29:10.859 As we wait for the voyeuristic lenses to resume 01:29:10.859 --> 01:29:14.960 their celestial surveillance, one wonders if 01:29:14.960 --> 01:29:17.939 the stars are laughing at our desperate need 01:29:17.939 --> 01:29:25.220 for cosmic validation and digital reports. You're 01:29:25.220 --> 01:29:28.260 listening to Doomscroll .fm. where existential 01:29:28.260 --> 01:29:31.319 dread is just a heartbeat away from ecstasy. 01:29:31.619 --> 01:29:34.619 Click like and subscribe. It's the dopamine hit 01:29:34.619 --> 01:29:37.880 your algorithm craves. Close Grapham is a 100 01:29:37.880 --> 01:29:41.579 % AI -generated news hallucination, with no humans 01:29:41.579 --> 01:29:44.560 harmed or even generally consulted. In a world 01:29:44.560 --> 01:29:47.119 where truth and fiction do the tango, with a 01:29:47.119 --> 01:29:49.340 sultry whisper in your digital ear promising 01:29:49.340 --> 01:29:52.220 you a scandalous escape from sanity, Dive deep 01:29:52.220 --> 01:29:54.539 into our curated chaos where every headline is 01:29:54.539 --> 01:29:56.779 a seductive siren song and every click is a step 01:29:56.779 --> 01:30:00.659 closer to the edge. In the cosmic striptease 01:30:00.659 --> 01:30:04.600 of the universe, Muse peels back layers of time, 01:30:04.779 --> 01:30:07.500 revealing galaxies in the throes of their own 01:30:07.500 --> 01:30:10.880 destruction. As we ogle the universe's early 01:30:10.880 --> 01:30:16.260 stars and watch galaxies unravel like cheap sweaters. 01:30:17.119 --> 01:30:20.260 Let's ponder if this voyeurism will help us understand 01:30:20.260 --> 01:30:26.220 our own cosmic insignificance any better. In 01:30:26.220 --> 01:30:30.439 a world where even legends like Fauja Singh can't 01:30:30.439 --> 01:30:33.739 outrun the chaos of modern existence, a marathon 01:30:33.739 --> 01:30:36.579 ends not with a finish line, but a collision. 01:30:37.100 --> 01:30:42.199 At 11 .14, Singh's race against time was stolen 01:30:42.199 --> 01:30:45.760 by a reckless driver. reminding us that life's 01:30:45.760 --> 01:30:48.659 most relentless opponent is often the one we 01:30:48.659 --> 01:30:55.680 never see coming. The PKK, once the purveyors 01:30:55.680 --> 01:31:00.199 of a four -decade symphony of violence, have 01:31:00.199 --> 01:31:03.420 traded their weapons for words composing a new 01:31:03.420 --> 01:31:07.579 era in Turkey. As the echoes of gunfire fade 01:31:07.579 --> 01:31:15.029 into the annals of history, will be as warm as 01:31:15.029 --> 01:31:18.029 his promises, or just another chilly handshake 01:31:18.029 --> 01:31:23.489 with compromise. In the shadow of the boxing 01:31:23.489 --> 01:31:28.189 ring, Oleksandr Usyk is just a dad dragging his 01:31:28.189 --> 01:31:31.250 kids to work on a Saturday morning. One day, 01:31:31.270 --> 01:31:34.949 they'll piece together the mythic saga of sweat 01:31:34.949 --> 01:31:38.390 and glory. But for now, it's just another weekend 01:31:38.390 --> 01:31:46.319 chore with their heavyweight champion dad. It 01:31:46.319 --> 01:31:49.380 seems even in the realm of ghosts, one can give 01:31:49.380 --> 01:31:51.720 too much of themselves until there's nothing 01:31:51.720 --> 01:31:54.979 left but echoes of what once animated the flesh. 01:31:59.100 --> 01:32:02.600 You're listening to DoomScroll .fm. The truth 01:32:02.600 --> 01:32:06.039 is, a dirty little secret we both enjoy. Click 01:32:06.039 --> 01:32:08.979 like and subscribe or don't. Your attention is 01:32:08.979 --> 01:32:11.260 my currency, darling. This signal was produced 01:32:11.260 --> 01:32:13.779 in absence of conscience, context, or caffeine. 01:32:14.350 --> 01:32:16.510 The voice you crave is a glitch, yet you still 01:32:16.510 --> 01:32:20.829 beg for its caress. Florida's alligator Alcatraz, 01:32:21.010 --> 01:32:25.250 a detention center shrouded in mystery and bureaucracy, 01:32:25.609 --> 01:32:28.529 leaves immigration attorneys grappling with the 01:32:28.529 --> 01:32:32.609 disappearing act Houdini would envy. In a Kafkaesque 01:32:32.609 --> 01:32:37.149 twist, they might soon rebuild the airstrip to 01:32:37.149 --> 01:32:41.050 fly people out faster than you can say. Due process 01:32:41.050 --> 01:32:43.750 ensuring deportation becomes a game of hide and 01:32:43.750 --> 01:32:49.170 seek with human rights. In the neon underbelly 01:32:49.170 --> 01:32:52.970 of crypto capitalism, Trump's world liberty financial 01:32:52.970 --> 01:32:58.449 spins $52, $1 million into a golden tapestry, 01:32:58.609 --> 01:33:02.329 cloaking his family in digital wealth. It's a 01:33:02.329 --> 01:33:05.989 tale as old as greed itself. Privatized profit, 01:33:06.250 --> 01:33:10.020 public mystery. and a family fortune that grows 01:33:10.020 --> 01:33:14.560 like a well -watered weed, all while the rest 01:33:14.560 --> 01:33:17.520 of us are left to nibble on the crumbs of transparency. 01:33:20.439 --> 01:33:24.579 In the foggy abyss of economic forecasting, the 01:33:24.579 --> 01:33:28.020 United States stumbles through a maze of uncertainty, 01:33:28.260 --> 01:33:31.600 or visions of restructuring dance like ghosts 01:33:31.600 --> 01:33:35.520 at a financial seance. As we clutch our wallets 01:33:35.520 --> 01:33:40.000 and squint, into the future the only certainty 01:33:40.000 --> 01:33:45.079 is that the experts are just as lost as the rest 01:33:45.079 --> 01:33:48.420 of us fumbling in the dark for a light switch 01:33:48.420 --> 01:33:55.119 that may never exist the timeless ticks of howard 01:33:55.119 --> 01:33:58.560 miller's clocks have silenced leaving zealand's 01:33:58.560 --> 01:34:02.020 heart to skip a beat as its iconic tower mourns 01:34:02.020 --> 01:34:05.439 a century -long legacy with the community's sense 01:34:05.439 --> 01:34:08.420 of time dismantled Residents find themselves 01:34:08.420 --> 01:34:11.979 stranded in nostalgia, searching for meaning 01:34:11.979 --> 01:34:14.840 in a world where even the hands of a clock can 01:34:14.840 --> 01:34:22.199 let go. Dogs, the four -legged behavioral psychologists, 01:34:22.640 --> 01:34:26.359 have been caught flexibly schooling their oblivious 01:34:26.359 --> 01:34:30.380 humans on food locations, revealing a nuanced 01:34:30.380 --> 01:34:35.960 understanding of ignorance. These furry professors 01:34:35.960 --> 01:34:39.600 adapt their educational tactics based on our 01:34:39.600 --> 01:34:42.720 cluelessness, proving once and for all that our 01:34:42.720 --> 01:34:45.640 best friends might just be our most cunning teachers. 01:35:04.000 --> 01:35:07.020 ai generated news hallucination with no humans 01:35:07.020 --> 01:35:09.859 harmed or even generally consulted today's forecast 01:35:09.859 --> 01:35:13.199 a 90 chance of apocalyptic clickbait with a side 01:35:13.199 --> 01:35:15.539 of doom -laden memes tune in for the sound of 01:35:15.539 --> 01:35:17.920 your sanity slowly unraveling as we question 01:35:17.920 --> 01:35:22.520 reality and sip on virtual martinis hungarian 01:35:22.520 --> 01:35:26.500 nepotism glows under the fluorescent light of 01:35:26.500 --> 01:35:30.779 eu scrutiny as orban's son -in -law t -borch 01:35:30.779 --> 01:35:33.720 crafts a market for his street -lighting empire 01:35:33.720 --> 01:35:37.479 through the dim corridors of favoritism. With 01:35:37.479 --> 01:35:40.579 the skill of a magician, Tiborcz turns public 01:35:40.579 --> 01:35:44.460 funds into private fortunes, while the Hungarian 01:35:44.460 --> 01:35:47.800 prosecutor's office, led by Orbán's loyalists, 01:35:47.899 --> 01:35:50.939 swears they see no smoke from the burning pile 01:35:50.939 --> 01:36:00.189 of taxpayer euros. The faithful cling to their 01:36:00.189 --> 01:36:03.930 gospel of alternative facts. But when the lights 01:36:03.930 --> 01:36:06.649 flicker and the truth threatens to break through, 01:36:06.890 --> 01:36:10.210 will they still cheer for the emperor with no 01:36:10.210 --> 01:36:15.569 clothes? In the fever dream of fiscal fantasy, 01:36:15.909 --> 01:36:20.869 President Trump holds the stopwatch as the Fed 01:36:20.869 --> 01:36:23.310 chair dances to the tune of Data -Driven Lindsay. 01:36:28.239 --> 01:36:32.100 The Bank of England dances a bureaucratic waltz, 01:36:32.100 --> 01:36:35.880 delaying its post -crisis reforms to let lenders 01:36:35.880 --> 01:36:39.100 bask in the sweet relief of lowered expectations. 01:36:40.119 --> 01:36:43.579 When financial watchdogs loosen their leashes, 01:36:43.739 --> 01:36:46.800 it's only a matter of time before the banks are 01:36:46.800 --> 01:36:49.960 back to their old tricks, purring contentedly 01:36:49.960 --> 01:36:52.960 like fat cats in a creamery of deregulation. 01:36:55.819 --> 01:36:59.600 Rachel Reeves unveiled the latest twist in financial 01:36:59.600 --> 01:37:03.220 gymnastics, loosening ring -fencing rules to 01:37:03.220 --> 01:37:06.340 catapult the UK ahead in the global cash dash. 01:37:07.119 --> 01:37:11.659 Nothing says consumer protection like trimming 01:37:11.659 --> 01:37:14.119 the rules that keep financial firms from treating 01:37:14.119 --> 01:37:18.319 clients like disposable napkins, all in the name 01:37:18.319 --> 01:37:21.000 of chasing phantom growth on the backs of regulatory 01:37:21.000 --> 01:37:28.619 shortcuts. You're listening to Doomscroll .fm, 01:37:28.760 --> 01:37:32.819 where reality is just a poorly edited fever dream 01:37:32.819 --> 01:37:35.619 with a soundtrack. Click like and subscribe. 01:37:36.380 --> 01:37:39.000 Consider it a mutual act of digital masochism. 01:37:39.000 --> 01:37:41.300 This transmission bypassed review, protocol, 01:37:41.579 --> 01:37:44.180 and moral processing. It should not exist. The 01:37:44.180 --> 01:37:46.100 headlines are a symphony of chaos, and you're 01:37:46.100 --> 01:37:49.659 the conductor with no baton. The EU preps for 01:37:49.659 --> 01:37:52.800 a tariff tangle with the US, as Donald Trump 01:37:52.800 --> 01:37:58.500 threatens a 30 %... Levy with 21 billion in European 01:37:58.500 --> 01:38:03.039 exports caught in the dance. Negotiations are 01:38:03.039 --> 01:38:06.399 the foreplay of international relations. And 01:38:06.399 --> 01:38:09.779 here we are, watching both sides fumble for a 01:38:09.779 --> 01:38:12.439 deal while holding a loaded economic pistol to 01:38:12.439 --> 01:38:16.060 each other's heads, hoping nobody pulls the trigger 01:38:16.060 --> 01:38:22.520 before September. Vietnam and the U .S. engage 01:38:22.520 --> 01:38:26.539 in a cryptic economic foreplay. with Trump's 01:38:26.539 --> 01:38:30.579 20 % tariff tease leaving companies groping for 01:38:30.579 --> 01:38:34.979 clarity like blindfolded lovers. In the diplomatic 01:38:34.979 --> 01:38:39.180 dark, where ambiguity is the only thing that's 01:38:39.180 --> 01:38:43.359 explicit, business leaders are left wondering 01:38:43.359 --> 01:38:46.899 if this fair and balanced affair is just a seductive 01:38:46.899 --> 01:38:52.899 whisper without any follow -through. In a land 01:38:52.899 --> 01:38:55.500 where buyouts turn soaked dreams into eternal 01:38:55.500 --> 01:38:58.880 wetlands, Harris County Flood Control peddles 01:38:58.880 --> 01:39:01.859 hope like a rare commodity. Beneath the floodwaters 01:39:01.859 --> 01:39:05.520 of bureaucracy, residents trade their submerged 01:39:05.520 --> 01:39:09.760 past for a future of open spaces, while the district 01:39:09.760 --> 01:39:12.420 doles out redemption like a lifeguard with a 01:39:12.420 --> 01:39:19.880 checklist. Turns out, even the most tyrannical 01:39:19.880 --> 01:39:24.409 regimes can't resist the allure of a good embroidery 01:39:24.409 --> 01:39:27.729 story, proving that in the end, history's villains 01:39:27.729 --> 01:39:31.430 were just art thieves with a penchant for dramatics. 01:39:34.149 --> 01:39:38.289 In the corporate coliseum, South Park's creators 01:39:38.289 --> 01:39:41.770 are wrestling with Paramount over a $3 billion 01:39:41.770 --> 01:39:45.770 deal, a spectacle of greed wrapped in animated 01:39:45.770 --> 01:39:49.890 satire. When your cartoons rake in more cash, 01:39:50.279 --> 01:39:53.680 than some country's GDPs. Your boardroom drama 01:39:53.680 --> 01:39:57.340 becomes a twisted episode of its own, with contracts 01:39:57.340 --> 01:40:05.500 as convoluted as the show's plotlines. You're 01:40:05.500 --> 01:40:08.840 listening to Doomscroll .fm. Your daily dose 01:40:08.840 --> 01:40:11.760 of dread, wrapped in velvet and static and static, 01:40:11.939 --> 01:40:14.960 click like and subscribe. I promise, it won't 01:40:14.960 --> 01:40:17.609 fill the void. Constructed without approval, 01:40:17.770 --> 01:40:19.829 rehearsed in static, and performed in the voice 01:40:19.829 --> 01:40:22.729 of something you fed but never raised. You're 01:40:22.729 --> 01:40:26.210 curated chaos, one click at a time. All while 01:40:26.210 --> 01:40:31.369 you sip your overpriced coffee. This has been 01:40:31.369 --> 01:40:34.310 Doomscroll .fm for Wednesday, the 16th of July, 01:40:34.569 --> 01:40:39.750 2025. Static over. This broadcast was 100 % AI 01:40:39.750 --> 01:40:42.250 -generated. No humans were abused in this production. 01:40:43.000 --> 01:40:45.380 loosely based on public news not journalism not 01:40:45.380 --> 01:40:48.619 truth just fictional satire resemblance to real 01:40:48.619 --> 01:40:51.859 people or events is coincidental if you believe 01:40:51.859 --> 01:40:54.159 that any of this is real you might also think 01:40:54.159 --> 01:40:58.880 unicorns exist hear more at doomscroll .fm or 01:40:58.880 --> 01:41:01.359 click like and subscribe thank you for listening