Yeah, we're back. Last session, I'm way too close
to my microphone, I think. Last session, you
guys learned that there's a place you got to
go to to get the power of Phthalate, the Tidemaker.
And you guys are, I don't remember what I said
at the end of last session, but we're going to
say that you guys are still in the council room
because plans have changed. My plans have changed.
since last session. But, uh, you see, Viamedi,
uh, is talking to you guys about, uh, how you
guys should go to this temple, get the power
of the Tidemaker, Thalet, whatever, this, that.
Is there anything that you guys would like to
say to him? I think we went over questions last
session. So, nothing, nothing you guys want to
say? I don't have any questions. Alright, uh,
Viamedi is going to look at, uh, the three of
you. Do you guys know of the mule named Ronstadt?
A mule? A horse? Did you guys not go to elementary
school? I graduated from... He's the mule that
causes the seasons. I graduated from daycare.
Wait. Ronstadt is... the mule of Phthalate himself,
brother of Marjan. There are the twin mules of
Snow and Heat. Ronstadt is the mule of Snow.
He is what causes winter. And he resides primarily
at The temple of Thalet. You know, whenever he's
not walking around. Like, whenever he, like,
when he needs to rest, he's at the temple. You
know? And so... I... You guys need to go to that
temple. And not anger him. But get the power
of Thalet. And the best way that I've thought
about you guys doing that, how would you feel
about a little company? Like, like who? There
is a scholar. Very well known. Not really well
known. Not really. But we know who he is. He
worships Thalet and he is searching for knowledge.
His name is Kelp. What? What a beautiful name.
What a beautiful name. It's like our jester,
Clambert. Clambert and Kelp. I think they went
to high school together. Genuinely a duo name
of all time. Clambert and Gelb. You just see
Clambert pop out. And I'm Clambert. I still can't
remember what he sounds like. I blow up Clambert
with my mind. Dude, why do you hate Clambert?
Why do you guys hate Clambert? What is wrong
with you guys? Can you imagine that, like, with
the powers that Clambert has, like, teleporting
around and appearing out of nowhere, he's just
gonna be the final big bad. Like, Clambert is
OP, dude. I genuinely need there, during the
final session, during the final battle against
Mathis, for, like, 8 ,000 troops to show up,
and Clambert says, nah, I got this. And he gets
demolished. Just, like, A big speech. You know
like. You know in Infinity War. Or no it was
like Avengers Endgame. When out of nowhere. Completely
like unbuilt up. Captain Marvel shows up. And
takes out like a hundred guys. Just in the background.
I need that to happen with Clambert. Except instead
of winning he loses. Yeah. But you see as. Viamedi.
Snaps. his finger, and you see, uh, as a door
to the right of him, uh, far, like, all the way
to the wall, because he's in, like, the center.
Uh, a door opens up, and in walks in guards and
a man named that you can only assume is Kelp.
Anyways, Jaden, would you like to introduce him?
Kelp? It's me. Kelp? I'm a scholar. I'm a guy.
I'm a little goober. I'm a little guy. I'm a
scholar. I worship. I'm here for knowledge. I'm
not here for going to a temple. Why are you so
small? Why? Why? He's the only one who has a
full body PNG. No, no, no. Make him bigger and
then make half of his body go off screen. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, like that. Wait, no, wait, no. It's
me! No, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no. Okay, this
is the rest of the session. Just him covering
everybody. He should be a little bit smaller
than the rest of us. You can also scoot all of
us over slightly to the left. There we go. Because
Genesis' full body does not have to be... Well,
Genesis kind of does, because his talking is
his sword. Oh, yeah, you're right. There you
go. Yeah. I'm a little scholar. I read books.
You guys read books? I like books. This is Kelp.
Hi, Kelp. It's nice to meet you. It's nice to
meet you, Alto. I glare. 23. That's illegal.
No. Oh, okay. Nevermind. So Leo the glare? Yeah,
Jaden, I think you'll find I'm sort of the glare
around here. I'm also sort of the guy in charge
in this kind of group. You know, everybody sort
of listens to me. Who are you? So, uh, when are
we going to put him down? Please, no. Um, does
your little armored friend know he's schizophrenic?
This is not a character. This is not a character.
Don't respond in character, please. Schizophrenic?
What's schizophrenia? Is that from Narnia? Yeah,
that's gonna be a spell of some sort to me. You're
right, you're right. Can you hold me a schizophrenic
check real quick? Yeah, let me. Where's my schizophrenia
dice? Oh, I think it's like... If it wasn't clear,
Jaden was a guest for this episode. Yeah. Welcome
our guest, Jaden. Jaden, do you want to describe
your character? I know we have the photo, but
there's people who just simply listen. He is
a very small kind of... He kind of looks... He's
like a blue guy with this dark green... long
hair, and he's wearing... I nearly knocked my
mic over. He's wearing some sort of brown cloak
and holding what looks to be some sort of brown
book. He doesn't look like he knows fully why
he's here. He just knows. He just knows the council
needs him. And that is why I am here. I have
two complaints. One, you never changed your race
to the correct race. And two, you didn't join
the TST D &D thing. I joined your thing. I joined
your thing. Well, yeah, you joined the other
one that I shared with you so that you could
get the race. And then you just didn't get the
race. Oh. Oh, no. Hold on. We were expecting
a big sale of us. Yes. What does he do? I don't
know. I just know he's smart. So is he a magic
caster? A warrior? I think these are questions
that you should ask Kelp, not me. I'm saying
this out loud. I'm saying this to an open room.
Kelp can answer. I dwell in the arcane. I'm a
wizard. W. L. Bad. Wizard's bad. Where's my dictionary?
W. He pulls out a book of fucking surface people
for idiots. Surface people language. Stupid smell
bad dumb language. What does win mean? Do you
think that Kelp and Marsh knew each other? Absolutely.
Not. Absolutely not. You know... Maybe. Maybe.
That's my... That's my, um... He don't love Marsh.
Marsh was a celebrity. Yeah. My fan theory is
that they were gay lovers, and I'm gonna write
a fanfic about that. Uh, no. No, no. Can we have,
like, an episode where we get all, like, the
sea characters together? Yeah. Why would you
like to see that? The blood special. The fish
special. It's every, like, water person from
every campaign. Absolutely. You play Marsh. No,
you play Mate. I play Marsh. He plays Kelp. And
then Juno plays Fishstick. Wait, does that mean
that I have to DM and be Kijitu Kroto? Yeah.
I'm pretty sure all four of us have had fish
people in the past. And the crazy thing is I
can't think of a fish person any of the others.
I think it's just pure coincidence that the four
of us are the people who have played Triton before.
Oh, it's not a coincidence. It's real fishy in
here. Fish sticks. they're like they're like
it's like the spiderman pointing meme could you
take proto was not a fish he was a turtle so
no that's why i said the four of us i'm done
with the players yeah yeah yeah but like we're
all five of us this is an exclusion you are yes
i'm gonna say who do you yeah i we're not an
inclusive community yeah yeah um yeah we're the
mafia Do you guys have any other questions to
ask of Ayamidi? Not particularly. He said, um,
last session, did he tell us, like, where we
were going? Uh, he told you the temple. Temple
of Fetnal. Like, what temple? Like, where is
the temple? Temple of Fet. Um, I'm pretty sure
I did, but I can't remember. Surely Kelp knows
the way to the temple we need to read, right?
Why not? Kelp would, in fact, know, actually.
He is a scholar devoted to Phthalate. So, like...
Yes, I know what this temple is. Would you guys
not? It's a very famous temple. We are from here.
Oh. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, land dwellers.
Ugh. Ugh. Fucking sea. Us water people, we are,
yeah, we don't like your kind. And then I vanish.
Wait, is that just a fish person thing? Can they
all do that? I thought it was just clambert.
I don't want to live in a world of clamberts.
I'd kill myself. Maybe math is right. That was
my cousin's cousin's name. There's so many of
them. A scene of Clamberts. There's like 12 Clamberts
just here, right in this building. And then every
time we've seen Clambert appear, it's been a
different Clambert. You know how you said that
at the end, you want Clambert to show up for
the finale? Nah. You're going to see every time
that you've met Clambert, that's going to be
the army. Holy shit. Yeah, you're gonna walk
into Clambert and go, hey, how was that sandwich
I gave you? As the undersea, we can only spare
a few of our Clamberts. Clamberts just too powerful.
We need to keep some to protect ourselves, but
we can give you 50 Clamberts. Give you 50 Clamberts
and one kelp. Only one kelp. 50 Clamberts and
two paladins. Clambert is my favorite D &D subclass.
Yeah. That's actually the book I'm studying.
How to Clambert. My favorite subrace, my favorite
class, and my favorite subclass. And my favorite
spell. I'd like to change my character. Do you
want to be Clambert? This book I'm reading? It's
How to Clambert by Clambert. You should read
it. Yeah. You think we should get rid of the
plot? Yeah, probably. I think this is very plot
relevant. I don't know. Do you think... What
if, like, Dalet... What if Clambert is Dalet?
Clambert. You know those stories where, like,
the gods will come to you disguised as, like,
an old lady? What if it's Clambert? Yeah, he's
just, like, he's here messing around. He felt
a little silly. He felt a little precarious.
He wanted to do a little joke. Um, so, is Kelp
gonna escort them to the temple? You bet you
- you bet - what? You bet you will? What? You
bet I will. I bet you will. So, after a long,
treacherous journey through the ocean, literally
right up to the surface, onto the nearest small
island, you see... Are you guys not going to
introduce yourselves? I start flopping on the
surface like a fish. I'm kidding. He's just objectively
not a fish. No, but... Media gets the surface
dry out like a raisin. Long treacherous journey
from the middle of the ocean all the way... I
can't remember what I said, but we're going to
say right onto the edge of the Shash Kingdom.
because that's on the opposite side of the world,
like, on the opposite continent of Mathis. You
guys have not received a map yet, so you guys
do not get updated map yet. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.
Um, but you guys see, as you get up to the surface,
you see a giant frozen lake. in front of you
cracked right down the center um because this
was the free map that i found and it looks pretty
cool and you see what looks to be a gigantic
uh uh ice temple with a big door you guys have
made it uh In the jar. Oh wait, we can put him
in the jar. You're right. Oh no, not the jar.
Not the jar. Not again. He's like a My Little
Pony. I'm gonna grab the little jar lamp and
start shaking him around in there. Every guest
goes in the jar. W. W shaking. W shaking. Just
like I would with a child. I think I'm getting
concussion. We're just going to keep him like
that for the entirety of the session, just like
that. W, W. I'm in the jar. That was actually
just Jaden's character. If we ever have any more
guests, which, I mean, after this, this might
be the last one. I mean, pfft. Um, anywho. What
the fuck did I do? Uh, if you guys see this map,
you see it's big. Yeah, that's accurate. You
see all the lands, all of the lands, right? But
one thing you see in the distance is you see
a gang, a group of guys, all named Frank. Oh,
is that Frank? Yeah, dude, it's Frank. I knew
you would know Frank. What? Frank, Frank, Frank.
Oh my god, they are all named Frank. You guys,
get to this temple. And you see the three guys.
Frank, Frank, and Frank. What do you guys want
to do? What do, what doth thou wish to do? Do
we know, know their names are Frank, or is this
like a - No, you don't know. You haven't spoken
to them. Yeah, that guy over there, he looks
like a real Frank. What'd you say? What are they?
They're little ice goblins. Okay. Maybe they're
friendly. Maybe they just want to live out their
life. Yeah, maybe they're friends. Ivory, you're
a diplomat. You're the bard. Why don't you go
strike up a conversation? That's a great idea!
Yeah, surely these guys are friendly. Give me
a second. My screen isn't loading. Okay. Do I
have to move my characters? Because I can't see
my screen. I'll move your character. Where are
you trying to go? I want to go on the bridge.
On the boat. On the boat bridge. On the boat
bridge. Oh, I disappeared. I died. Yep, but you're
on the boat. You're on the boat now. Is there
a snowman? There's a snowman. Yeah, that's also
Frag. Don't worry about him. Um... Hello, fellow
diplomats! I'm Campbell Fent. This is Fent, right?
Fentanyl? Yeah, you know. I swear to God, I heard
it as simple as that. Anyways, anyways, anyways.
What? What? No. Um... I'm... We're here to, um...
Talk... Negotiate with, um... Almighty... I'm
afraid it was a goat. Wait, wait, wait. I'm in
my notes. What are you... What are you doing?
What are you doing? I'm here to talk, to speak,
to negotiate. What is your purpose being here?
I would like to take a second. Is Genesis actually
going up and around? Genesis is flanking, yes,
just in case a fight breaks out. I actually require
you to stop doing that real quick. Okay. Look
at where I moved your PNG. Okay. Suddenly...
As you see Genesis... Is this genuinely something
that you want to do? Well, I did it for the bit.
So you can decide how serious it is. No, I want
you to decide. Is this something that you want
to do? Yeah, sure, why not? Okay. Bit all the
way. As you guys see Genesis go up the stairs,
you hear what sounds to be a loud... thud, followed
by a roar that I'm not going to imitate as a
giant ice creature emerges from the temple ground
itself. Oh no, I woke Frank up. Is the giant
ice creature called Marshmallow? Yeah. Okay,
radical. Because in Frozen, there's a giant snowman
named Marshmallow. Anywho, I'm going to go back
to Ivory and the goblins. What do you want? I
want to negotiate. But wait, can we not focus
on it? What the fuck was that big roar? No, no,
don't worry. I'll deal with this guy. Just continue
your negotiation. I don't want to end up hearing
your phone buzz when you're talking. He's awake.
Shouldn't you go check on that? No. We have to
make sure you don't break in. Well, I'm just
here to negotiate. We don't negotiate. I don't
think I'd be standing on this very precarious
position. Oh. Yeah, it really would just take,
like, a quick, you know, bolt of lightning, and
you fall to your - you plummet to your death.
Yeah, you see as, uh, suddenly, uh, you get hit
by a giant snowball. And you die. Oh. Don't worry,
I'll come get you. Oh, Kelp saved you. Never
mind. You fell like this and then Kelp hit you
and you hit the wall and then you died. Yeah,
you like bounced off of each of them. It was
very painful. Can I make an indent as I go down?
What? Can I make an indent as I go down because
I'm a rock? Of course, of course. Thank you.
I forgot to add a creature onto this. So let
me... But, uh... Frank? Did you forget Frank?
No, Frank's... How could you forget Frank? No,
I'm not forgetting Frank. Where's Frank? Oh,
crap, you're right. I don't even know where Frank
is. Um... I'm trying to find the least stupid
photo, but they all look stupid. It looks like
you're moving your mouse around as if you're
searching for something. As if you're going fucking
crazy. I am. It's really funny to watch. You
guys see as from the cracks emerge a man that
I'm quickly trying to get the photo of. Oh my
god, it's Frank. a man i can't find it i've lost
the file guys is that am i cooked am i a bad
am i a bad am i baddie oh i found it never mind
there's some fire effects Is that a spider? His
name is Frank. His name is Frank. I want it.
Okay. But you see as a spider emerges from the
depths of the cracks, what would you like to
say to the goblins now? Can we negotiate really
quick? What is your negotiation? Well, we can
go over it. Once we go over to the other side,
I feel like it's unfair and unjust if there's
a big drift. You wanna come over here? Yeah.
Can I do that? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can. Of
course you can. Can my friends come over there?
This is really important that they're here with
me. Yes, of course. Your friend can come here.
They seem like trustable fellows. Yes. Hey, what
if I stay on this side instead and we actually
don't... But you wanted to negotiate. Yeah, no,
it's okay. We'll negotiate from over here instead.
But the thing is... I don't know. Okay, yeah,
we can do that. Like this, you know? Yeah, yeah.
Is this okay? Yeah. Okay. Um... So... What is
your negotiation now? Uh... Okay, one second.
Let me think about this. Um... My... My negotiation
is that, um... How far away are they? Is this,
like, distance? From you, uh... 20 feet, 25,
uh, so 25 feet is Frank with an F -R -E -N -K,
and the other two are 20, and the spider is 10.
Wait, I might be wrong. 15, 25, and 30. I've
lied. I was 5 feet off. I didn't know that. I
don't know why. That's so cool. Okay, thank you.
Um... Bam. Bam. I don't know. Out of character,
I didn't really want to negotiate. I just kind
of wanted to kill them, I'm going to be honest.
Oh, so do you all want to roll initiative? Because,
I mean, this is what's happening anyways. Yeah,
I just kind of wanted to kill them, but then
I got really nervous when they started acting
really funky with it. Alright, guys, roll initiative.
Thank you. Ten. For some reason, help isn't on
this. Wait. Why does Genesis roll a 6? I'm gonna
roll, like, something disgustingly high or something.
My initiative is really bad. Enjoy that. 22!
It's really high for - Wait, it's not that high
today. It's only a 15. Give me a second. For
some reason, Kelp isn't showing. Cope isn't on
the encounter because if you make the encounter
before... Well, no, I fixed it. Okay. Okay. Let
me read this. What did everyone roll? Ten. Ten.
Okay. Genesis? Eighty. Okay, so you rolled six.
Okay. What did Juno roll? Juno, what'd you roll?
Fifteen. Okay, and what did Mao roll? Twenty
-two. Twenty -two. Okay, um, so Mal will be going
first. Oh yeah. Uh, the, uh, the dice roll logs
are not, they're like behind. Oh, well, I'll
fix that. Here we go. Alright, uh, okay, Mal,
what would that like to do? I have this spell
and I always wanted to use it because I've never
used it ever in my life. I want to cast Flaming
Spear. Spear? Spear. I want to cast it. It's
19 feet, so I'm assuming I need to move. How
big is each square? Each square is 5, but you
do have a ruler. Frank, P -R -E -N -C -K, is
30. Frank with an F -R -E, 35. Frank with a spelled
F -R -A is 30. And then Spider is 20. I'm not
going to kill the snowman. The snowman is a little
cute. I think you can get a lot of value out
of this. If I put it in the middle between all
the Franks. so like right here between all the
franks and yet if i end if it ends if anyone
ends its turn within five feet they take damage
so i'm gonna and i want to put the flaming sphere
right in the middle between all the franks like
right here yeah right there what does that do
it's a summon how long does it last one minute
okay flaming spear bam bam Alright, do I have
to roll anything? I think those three roll me
a dex check. Dex. Oh, what is the DC? 14. Frank,
2. Got a 12. The rest got above 14. Okay, then...
And... Um, where is it? Where is it? Right here.
I'm currently breeding. Do they take half damage?
Yes, they take half damage. Yippee! Alright,
what is the roll for damage? Just two? It's a
half of that, I believe. It's two nat. It's two
sixes. It's two d3s. So unfortunate. What is
half of two? Real quick. Let me think. One. Every
single moment I can get this, I roll a two. You
were so excited about using the spell too. You
were like, I've never used this before. I've
never used this spell. It seems so fun and cool.
And then next thing you know... Two. Alright.
I mean... Wait, I can use the bonus action. I
can use my bonus action on it. Yay. I have actually
horrible bonus actions. Wait, how... What is
the radius of Flaming Sphere? Sphere. Five feet.
So it's just like... All of them? Yeah, it's
all the people around it, so yeah. I think there's
a tool for this. Oh, wow. Is it like a square
tool? Oh, oh. A circle has been appeared. I don't
know how, like, because, like, from here to here,
five feet. Yeah, so if it's five feet, it would
be. Go, my boy. Um, I'm also gonna make him ram.
Yes. I also wanna use my bonus action to make,
um, the sphere ram into one of them. Oh, you
can move it? Yeah, as a bonus action. It can
ram into someone. Which I wanna make it ram into,
um... Let's do Frank 2! Frank 2? Uh, roll me
the same dex. Does it move just to there, then?
I think... Wait, hold on. Because it would then
hit all of them, no? No, I think it only hits
one person. Or the ram. The ram only hits one
person. You said Frank 2? Roll dex check. Yes.
Frank 2. Roll me that same dex. Uh, he rolled
a 15. Okay, half damage again. Yippee. Please
don't roll two ones. This is a way more fortunate.
Yay, seven. Okay, so Frank two will take seven
damage. All right. Didn't he succeed? Wasn't
that B half? Oh, wait, never mind. You're right.
He takes four damage. This is all fire damage.
Oh, you're right. Are they vulnerable to fire?
Wait. Oh, yeah, you're right. They would take
double. Yeah. Okay, here's the thing. A creature
takes damage if they end their turn next to the
sphere. Also, the sphere has a range of 10 feet,
not 5 feet. Oh. The sphere itself is 5 feet,
but any creature... It's 5 feet in diameter,
not radius. But any creature that ends their
turn within 5 feet of the 5 feet diameter sphere
is deflected by it. So at basically 10 feet within
the center of the sphere. So here. So we need
to enlarge that circle then. The sphere is 5
feet. If anything, the circle is too big. But
it's like... Like, the actual sphere is 5 feet.
But the damage radius is 10 feet. Oh, okay. So
it means the sphere takes up one tile. Right?
The sphere takes up a tile. Yeah, the sphere
is one tile. And then... And then... The circle
around said sphere is 10. Okay. That... Words...
Okay. So basically just any space within 10 feet
of Frank 2 is going to be fucked up right now.
10 feet? Yeah. So all three Franks are getting
hit again? Yes. If they end their turn in the
sphere. Yeah, it's on their turn at the end.
Oh, well, okay. Is it your turn, man? Yarr. Wait,
wait, wait. No. I want to use my movement to
get in front of Kelp. Okay, you can move in front
of Kelp. Hold on. Hold on. I want to be a shield
here. Aye. Perfect. Um... Alright. So then, it
would be Ivory Slate's turn. I'm ready! By the
power... Okay, so I want to use... I have power
invested in me. I have power invested in me.
I have power invested in me. I have power invested
in me. I have power invested in me. I have power
invested in me. I have power invested in me.
I have power invested in me. I have power invested
in me. I'm so confused. Okay. Belch? That's crazy.
That's a nickname. It's really close. No malice.
Sure. And then I want to glow stick. I want to
glow stick Frank. I'm going to look at all the
Franks. 30 feet. 30 feet. 24. I can hit all of
them. I wanna hit Frank 1. Frank 1? I'm aiming
for Frank 1. I don't like the way he's looking
at me. You get me? Yeah, roll that. You're gonna
have to give me one. This is really laggy. Yeah.
As you starry -whisp. Is there one that's just
like... Oh, Glowstick would be Sparkle. Or, or,
or, or, uh... There's one called Nova. Oh. You
said 23? Yeah. Okay. Uh, that does, in fact,
hit. Okay. And then, I do... You're gonna have
to also give me a minute, because this takes,
like, more. Okay. I got at least a two. Give
it a minute. I got a five! And then... I need
to do the most important thing in my life. I...
Pre -action. I crouch down, and I look directly
at the spider. And I say... P .S. P .S. Psst.
You can roll me animal handling. I'll say it's
free action. Rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling,
rolling, rolling. I got an 18. Dude, no! Okay.
You go... You look... You kneel down and you
go... And you see as the spider inches a little
bit... He'll do that on his turn, but he'll inch
a little bit closer to you. Oh, yeah. That's
my turn. All right. It is now Ice Guy Frank 1.
It's his turn. He's gonna... I give up on doing
that. Uh... Let me look at his thing. I don't
really know what he can do. Uh... He is going
to... What's his speed? Okay. He is going to
run over to... He is going to run over to...
Oh, wait. Actually, wait. So that would be like
15... 25... 30. Yeah, he can make it. He's gonna
run right in front of Juno in front of Ivory
and then he's gonna And he's gonna like aggressively
claw like try to scratch you doesn't 11 hit your
AC If I remember this right no really That's
all you can do And then it's Frank2's turn, who...
Can he make it? 15... 30. He can just barely.
He's gonna run right behind Frank1. And he, my
friend, is going to... Oh wait, is he... I actually
don't think he's close enough. He is not close
enough. So he is instead going to claw at Mal.
Mal, does a 19 hit your AC? Nope. Ugh. And then
Perp, my friend, my friend. You know whose turn
it just so happens to be right now? Marshmallow.
Marshmallow's turn. He is going to look at you.
Would you mind staying there? I sort of have
a plan that requires me not moving. Who are you?
Oh wait, is this it? Wait, you can talk in character.
Would you mind staying there? Who are you? My
name is Genesis. I feel like we sort of match
each other's lives. Fuck! Fuck! He is going to
walk up to you. You don't tell me what to do.
As he goes to... Does a 12 hit your AC? Does
not. As he goes to try to slam his fist onto
you and misses. No, I definitely get it, man.
I was asking if maybe you could... So he does
it again. Does a 25 hit your AC? This time, yeah.
So as you see, he summons a... Wait, can you
give me a moment before you say this? I'm thinking
of using a reaction here, but I don't know if
I want to. Just give me one second, please. Sorry.
Yeah, okay. He started here, right? Let me look
away from that. Yeah, yeah. Okay, no, I'm not
going to use it. I'm not going to use it. He
forms his icy arm. You see, as it melts into,
like, a watery, like, ice arm, forms into the
shape of, like, a comedically large hammer, freezes
it back up, brings it down onto you for 18 damage.
Ugh, you are like a straight -up Looney Tunes
character. I will kill you. This is not at all
Genesis' personality. I've been playing other
characters in other D &D campaigns. I'm going
to break the fourth wall real quick. It is now
Frank 3's turn. 15. Actually, Frank 3 is going
to run up the stairs towards you and Marshmallow.
And he's not going to do much of anything. I
actually didn't know I could do that until just
now. That's cool. Or you can put it to linger.
Yeah, that's what I did. But I didn't know I
could have it so that I could have two at a time.
Anyways. That's going to have to be the end of
Frank Three's turn. Yeah, end of Frank 3's turn.
And it is now Frank 4's turn. And he is going
to run. What the fuck is Frank's 4 turn? That's
a snowman. He runs onto the bridge. Can I say
what my plan was going to be? Yeah, yeah. I calculated
how... I calculated and I knew it was possible
that if my turn was before Marshmallow's... Like,
my turn needed to be right before Marshmallow's
because his movement was part of my plan. I was
going to throw him onto the snowman. And violently
murder Frank 4 in front of everyone. I thought
it was really going to be funny. I calculated
it. I was able to push him 25 feet. And if I
used the right measurements, I could have pushed
him off directly onto the snowman. Oh. Well,
you know what though? That's me. Is it? Let's
see. You're fine up there, right, Genesis? You
got that. Yeah, I'm the tank. I got this, Snowman,
surely. Why'd you just measure how far it would
be to kill yourself? Don't look at what I measure.
Don't look at what I measure. anyways kelp i
can't see anything it's completely dark uh let
me refresh the page if roll 20 is being bad you
can look at a nova screen share on discord yeah
video was unavailable oh no i can see i can see
it was a technical error all right uh this might
hurt my friends so what i'm gonna do but like
do you really care about them Uh, yeah. I'm gonna
move 15 feet here. This is... Too far. Make Frank
2 make me a quick strength save. DC 15. Frank
2 make a strength save? I mean, he's just a little
guy. Yeah, yeah. 13. Okay, so I use lightning
lure so he's pulled 10 feet towards me and he
takes seven lightning damage as I Take out this
kind of rope throw it over and yank him over
like some shit out of Mortal Kombat seven lightning
damage Yeah, why are you guys just bullying Frank
too? Like everyone else is fine Frank too is
like He's like the only Frank you've tried hitting.
And then, that was my main action. As my bonus
action, I want to make my fingers in the shape
of a gun. And does a 15 hit their AC? What is
finger guns? Finger guns? Pew pew. Only the most
cracked out spell imaginable. I fucking love
finger guns. Is that actually a spell? Yeah.
What? Power of books. I'm a scholar, baby! Finger
guns, brother. Amen. Is it a 15 hand? Uh, yeah,
yeah, yeah. Sorry, I was just shocked by the
fact that finger guns is a real spell. That's
eight, uh, gun damage. Yeah, force. Force. So,
this guy gets pulled over. I yank him over, and
then I point my fingers at him and go, Bang.
As he is hit by force. Um, you see as you finger
gun him, uh, the life leaves his eyeballs. Kidnapped
finger? What? Hmm? You have successfully eliminated
this guy. I got him, boys. And then with my other
15 feet of movement, I think I'm going to move
back to here just so I can, in case stuff goes
bad up here, be ready just to cover these two.
And that is my turn. All right, all right. You
know what that means. Genesis, you don't want
a turn, do you? I'd prefer not to have one. Okay.
So... Um... We're gonna say Genesis. Actually,
I'm gonna just make you have a turn. I know you'd
prefer not to, but I'm gonna make you. Sigh.
Alright. Um... BRB. What? I forgot that we had
Texas Beach. Jaden wrote BRB and TTS and a TNTS
bot that hasn't been used since February. Join
the call. Yeah. I forgot that he was in the server,
actually. It's been seven months. That was from...
I'm pretty sure that was from when Emerald Mage
was going to be a part of the campaign. Yeah.
Okay. I'm... Okay, sorry, I'm caught off guard.
I'm going to use my bonus action as I hold out
my greatsword in front of me and it lights up
in flames. Oh. And then I'm going to use my bonus,
my actual action, because I already used my bonus
action, to hit this guy. First attack. This little
guy? 27 to hit. Let me check. That does, in fact,
hit. Yes. Second attack. Nine. Ten. That does
not hit. All right. That's going to be 13 slashing
damage. 13 slashing? Okay. It is magical, I believe.
I think. Yes, yes, because it's a magical weapon.
2d6 fire damage, which is seven fire damage.
Okay. All right. And I'm going to place a seal
as a free action. I need him to make me a strength
saving throw. Strength save? That's his thing.
Yeah, so he rolled a 13. Okay. So, one moment.
I believe I have a racial ability that lets me
do three fire damage. as part of this sword attack.
Let me make sure. Heat of Strike. Yes, yes, yes,
yes. So three fire damage on top of that. And
then, since he failed the strength saving throw,
he needs to take two force damage. Okay. And
he's going to be pushed over here. Ten feet.
No. Don't kill me. And then I'm going to move.
Let's see. He can attack here, right? Yeah. Okay,
then I'm going to move here. No, here. No, here.
I'm going to move here. All right. All right.
And then... I believe... Wait. Yeah, yeah, I
need to burn a seal to do that. That is my turn.
Alrighty. Now it is the spider's turn. I actually
can't even use this. I didn't look at what source
it was from. Ah. Row, row, raggy. Gotta find
another spider character sheet. Or just search
one online and then use the HP. from the, because
you can still use the HP, but like use the stat
block of another, or you can just search up the
stat block. It was really easy. Yeah. If it loads,
you know, that would be nice. It is going to
walk over. Actually, wait, what is its movement
speed? 30. Okay. It is going to walk all the
way around over here to Malachite. I'm back.
I'm back. I'm Nova. It's going to walk right
in front of Malachite and Ivory, and it is going.
It is going to bite Ivory. Let me get back to
D &D Beyond. My boy! Frank! Don't do this to
me. It does not hit because 11 does not hit.
Mal is AC. Or did I say Ivory or Mal? It was
going to hit Mal. The spider. But it missed.
So it's now Mal's turn. Spider violence. Okay.
Let me see. Let me see. This one not hit ivory.
Yay. Burning hands. What is the... Would that
not hit ivory? Or are you doing it like that?
Okay. Okay, just barely. So it hits Frank 1 and
4. All right, roll to hit. Or do I roll some?
I don't even know. You roll me a dex. For both
Frank 1 and 4? Yarp. Yarp. What is the DC? 14.
Yeah, at the looks of it, one of them fails.
One of them got a nat 20. So... Wow. Well, this
is half damage. Frank 1 failed. You said it's
Burning Hand, so it's not really. They're vulnerable
to fire. So one takes 12 with vulnerability and
one takes 12. Oh, well, you see Frank one, you
know, he just collapses. Oh, wait, where is she
situated? In front of me. Okay. Yeah, he's not.
Okay. You see him. You've eliminated Frank 1.
I dance on his body. Dude. I hit a little jig.
Oh, shit. 15. That's 15. I will take an opportunity
attack. Alright, you're gonna run over there.
I'm deciding where I want to go. Here? I can
run here. Either way, you're taking opportunity
to attack, so it don't matter. I know, I'm just
trying to see how far... Okay, yeah, I'm running
here. I think it was right here. 25, 25. Okay,
yeah. I'm going to run right there. I'm running
right here. Hey, can I ask a quick question?
Yeah. Um... Would you consider this off the cliff?
Where? The area I'm pointing to right now. Right
here? No. Wait, yeah, here. Yeah, I would consider
it. So if I put him there, he would fall down?
Yeah. Just wondering, because on the map, I don't
know where this is. I just wanted to make sure.
Yeah. Do my opportunity attack. Wait, give me
a second. I gotta do math. I'm right here and
I get attacked by a spider. Okay. Opportunity
attack. Opportunity attack. I don't have my physical
dice on me, so I have to think you're bad. I
don't think this spider's ever gonna hit me.
Roll 17. Does a 17 hit your AC? It does not,
so never mind. And it misses. It misses. Is that
the end of your turn? Uh... Can I see Genesis?
Or is he... Can you see Genesis? No. Not from
where you are. Okay. Well, shit. Because, like,
this... This is, like... Well, not right here,
but, like, right there. No, you cannot. Okay.
This is, like, right here. Five foot. It's, like,
20 feet tall. 15 to 20. Okay. Cool, cool, cool,
cool, cool. I used 25 movement to get here. I
did, yes. Correct. Okay. I'll just stay here,
actually. I'll stay here to help these two. I'm
at my turn. Alright, uh, next turn would be Ivory.
Ah, it's gonna win. Okay, um, so the only people
left are Frank 4 and Frank, right? Pardon? The
only two left are Frank 4 and just Frank, right?
Frank 4, Frank, and Marshmallow. If I kill Frank...
Hey, don't forget my boy Frank 3. Wait. Oh, Frank
3. Yeah, Frank 3 is over here. I forgot about
him. I don't see him. He's on the stairs on the
opposite end. I actually did forget about him.
Oh, shit. Frank 4, Frank 3. Um, I wanna... uh
free action can i offer i have rations in my
inventory can i offer a spider uh if you want
to do that i will make that a bonus action um
for the sake of what you're trying to do yeah
it's like a dog you know like those homeless
dogs where they're like animal handling again
it's like he's like my homeless i'll say if you
get three successful animal handling You can
tame the spider. I hope I get it. Also, is your
dog - Hey, theoretically, would you allow me
to throw Marshmallow 30 feet onto the spider?
No! I don't even think that would work, would
it? No. 16, I'll say that succeeds. It eats your
stuff, but it still is hesitant. It does want
to kill. It's okay. That's alright. It'll all
be better. Anyways, I want to fucking nightlight
the snow fuck. It's Frank 4? Wait, I didn't mean
an ice knife. That was an accident. You mean
glow stick? Yeah. I meant to... Well, I mean,
they have the same roll. Do they? Yeah, they
both have a plus 6. Then I'll take your word.
Give it a second. It's going to take a minute.
You rolled a nat 20. Can you roll a critical?
A minute. It's going to take forever. It will
take forever, yes. What if you rolled, like,
32. What if I rolled 1? I think they would probably
crash their entire device. I got a 19. 19. What
if I rolled 6, 7? Wow. Can we kick you out? No!
The damage doesn't work. I don't... Just because
of that 6, 7. You said 19? No! 19? Yeah, I got
a 19. You killed the guy. He is deceased. You've...
destroyed the poor innocent snowman. Snowman
that could walk? That's not a good sign. It's
actually a really bad thing. Oh. Really? Yeah,
it's a really bad sign. He's evil. Oh. Alright
then. Um, so... What's... Is it the end of your
turn? I dropped something. You dropped something?
Yeah. Pick it up. I am. I got it. Pick it up.
Alright. Is that the induction though? Yes. Alright.
Next would be... Marshmallow. Oh. Perp. Give
me a number 1 through 10. 7. 7? You're correct.
It goes to attack you. Does a 12 hit your AZ?
Who's attacking me? Marshmallow. Oh, does he
have 10 feet of movement? Is he going to move?
Okay, make me a wisdom saving throw. What? That's
not his thing. Oh, he rolled an 18, so it is
his thing. Sigh. I place a seal on him. Oh, okay.
What's he doing? He went to slam on top of you
again. A 12 does not hit, so he does it a second
time, you know, because he's a little cool. Does
a 23 hit your AC? You know, I'm trying to think.
I think so. Oh, really? Wow. It takes 14 damage.
And you see... The ice creature wouldn't possibly
be attacking me with fire, right? Because I'm,
like, resistant to that. Oh, he might not be.
Oh. You said 14? Yeah, 14. Okay. You see, as
you look into his eyes, he looks like he's...
He's preparing. Okay. It is now Frank 3's turn,
and he is going to use his movement. Wait, wait,
wait. Okay. That's where he'd go. 10? I think
that's enough. I think that's enough. Frank 3.
is going to look at you. And you see as he just
regurgitates magical frost. Can you roll me a
con saving? Why? Why would you do that? Nine.
Wow, the DC was ten. I rolled a natural two.
uh he wait it was the dc was 10 if i had rolled
any if i had rolled anything but a two or a one
can i see genesis yeah so uh you cannot uh but
take 10 damage as he just absolutely regurgitates
everything he's ever eaten and by everything
i mean just snow it's just a lot of snow Oh,
okay. That's not as bad as I thought it was.
I forgot to do something with the other three
when they died. Do I make them do it now? Do
they explode? Yeah. Are they imps? Yeah. They're
not imps, but they're... I'll just not... I forgot
I'm not going to do it with them. Okay. Do I
take damage? That is the end of his turn. It
is now. Kelp's turn. It's mine. Alright. Question.
Answer. If I move to, like, here. To where? Here.
Actually, no. Probably not the best place to
go. Here would be... Damn it. You can't see...
I'm trying to pull the golem down. That was my
plan. 30 feet. 15. No. 30. 20. I could just move
here and then that would be... If I move here,
would I be able to pull this golem down? No,
you would not be able to see him. Damn. Alright.
Then I suppose I'm going to turn to Ivory. You
can deal with that spider, right? Absolutely!
All right, I'll go help her armored friend. Okay.
All right. And that is actually, yeah, that'll
be my turn. All righty. Genesis, it is now your
turn. Alright. Gender Studies is... Who? Gender
Studies. Who? Gender Studies. Who? Gender Studies.
Okay. I'm going to use Shadow Shroud. What does
that do? I'm going to expend one of my seals
that I haven't placed yet to give myself 7 temp
HP as a bonus action. Okay. Then, I'm going to
move over to him. And I'm going to make my two
attacks. Okay. All right? Yeah. Here you go.
The first is going to be a 12 to hit. That does
not. The second is going to be a 14 to hit. That
does. Okay. My rolls are so bad. That was a natural
six. The one that hit, the 14, was a natural
six. Yeah. Okay. I'm genuinely I'm gonna take
dude. What is wrong with me? Okay, so Let me
give me a moment Make me a strength saving throw
23 okay that that'll succeed you'll still take
the force damage, but you won't be pushed All
right, yeah, that's okay so he's going to take
11 slashing damage. Alright. He's gonna take...
3 fire damage. Alright. He's gonna take another
3 fire damage. And then he's going to take...
12 fire damage. Oh. And then he's going to take...
Sure, why not? He's going to take eight fire
damage. Eight fire damage, all right. Yeah. Oh,
oh, um, Shadow Shroud doesn't give me 7 temp
HP. That's actually my Soul Eater ability, which
I do use. I read that wrong. Shadow Shroud adds
2 to my AC. Okay. Um, so I'm gonna get 7 temp
HP, 2 to my AC, and do that really strong attack,
and that is my turn. Alright. It is now the Ice
Spider's turn. It is not gonna do anything. Wait!
What? Forgot to roll my force damage. 5 force
damage. Five? Okay. Yep. Well, Ivory, it is your
turn. Wait, why is it my turn? Oh, wait, Mal.
I mean, Mal. I'm sitting here going like, what?
Okay. I have a stupid plan. I have a really stupid
plan. Like most of yours? Yes, this is going
to be a plan where I need to ask the DM if this
works. I want to move 25 feet. Not 25 feet. I
want to use all my movement. I want to use all
my feet. Where does that get me? Hold on. That
can probably get me here and then right here.
So I'm moving to this square and then that square.
Move here. I move right there. I move right there.
I then want to use my bonus action on my flaming
sphere. I cannot move the circle for some reason.
Hey. Hey. Hey. i can't move my circle um it can
move 30 feet oh it can only move 30 feet uh kind
of yeah so um like somewhere like right yeah
like right there right there right there okay
right here okay this is gonna be a this is gonna
be a question i have to ask the dm catapult at
the second level It can launch things that weigh
10 pounds. And a flaming sphere that's 5 feet
weighs between 2 to 6. Can I catapult this sphere
towards an enemy? That's the sickest attack idea
I've ever heard in my life. You should let him
do it. This is why I sat here going, like, I
plan. Yes! So you can't hold it on top of Marshmallow?
Or Frank 3? Okay, hold on. Who do we think is
more of a danger right now? Frank 3 or Marshmallow?
Marshmallow is definitely more of a danger, but
it also might be good to get Frank 3 just out
of the way. I'm about to hit this with a meteor.
Frank 3. Alright, and then what do I roll? Roll
me a dex. I'm gonna give you advantage on this,
by the way. I'm gonna give him disadvantage on
his roll. Please, god almighty. Okay, he rolled
a 12. That fails. And yet this by plan succeeds.
That means he takes the catapult damage. Which
is 19. Oh! Plus the damage from the sphere basically
ramming into him. And then, would it be the flaming
sphere damage? Because this thing is... Then
roll me another X. Technically, he is already
deceased. Oh. Roll it for fun. Wait, wait, no.
Wait, no, I have an idea. I can move it 30 feet.
I don't know that's a free action. You already
moved it 30 feet, so it doesn't... But does that
mean I can use its bonus action to ram? Is that
how that works? I'm reading this right now. You
move the sphere. Okay. I think that's a bonus
action. Yeah, that's a bonus action. That's the
bonus action. I'll roll the fire damage anyways,
just in case, because Frank 3. Decease. Overkill.
Wow. Okay. 25 damage. I launched a meteor today.
He deceased. He dead. I launched a meteor today.
I'm happy for it. Okay. That's the end of my
turn. Ivory, it is now your turn. I want to feed
this spider. What do you want to do? I want to
feed the spider. You want to feed it again? I
play my own music during these sessions. I'm
going to change this small, calm, jazzy music
while it's Juno's turn. While we're fighting
for our lives. Can I feed it more? Do you want
to feed it more or do you want to do something
else? You've already fed it. You don't want to
try to pet it or something? Uh, yeah, can I pet
it instead then? Alright, uh, 19, yeah. You successfully
tame the spider. Okay. Now, uh, I wanna go to
army. I wanna go to the war. I wanna go to war
with the spider. I wanna go commit murder. How
far could I go? Uh, 30? Yeah, I wanna go. I wanna
go up. Yeah. Can I bring my boyfriend with me?
Your what? My boyfriend. Oh, your boyfriend.
Yeah, yeah. I'll say he goes with you. Can I
bring my boy? Hell yeah. Was that a free action
I did? Moving does not, is a... No, like... Oh
yeah, the taming, yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. Do I see
Malakite at the top of the stairs? Yes, you can
see Malakite. Uh, bonus action, I want to...
The bard thing, the... Bard thing, the only thing
that bards are good for. What was that again?
Yeah, can I bardic inspiration? The fucker at
the top of the stairs? Um... Oh, you wanna bardic
inspiration, Mal? Yes. Yeah, you can. And then...
Do I have anything else that's good? That's the
end of your turn? I believe so. If I don't see
any actions I could take, that'd be good. Alrighty.
That it will now be Marshmallow's turn again,
and Perp. I want you to give me a number 1 through
20. I'm back. What? 7. 7? We'll see. We'll test
your luck. Whatever. Yeah, I'm just always going
to choose 7. Oh, I rolled a 14. You're screwed.
All right. So, you see... What do you think about
it? 14 is like a multiple. So, it's like... It's
like two sevens. You see as Marshmallow... You
see... You hear him start to bubble. You hear...
But, like, not in, like, a melting way. Or, like,
a... He's melting. He's melting. You see him...
Like, you know, he's charging a water attack
kind of way. No. No. You see him straight up
turn into a giant puddle of water and form a
dome around you out of ice. Is there a save for
this, or does it just happen? It's not like he's
hitting you. Is there a save for this, or does
it just happen? It just happens. Okay, so I just...
Okay. And... Sorry, I turned the light on, and
now I can't see. And he's gonna... As he's doing
that, he's going to try to... As he forms a dome
around you, part of the dome caves in and gives
you a little bonk on the head. Does a 17 hit
your AC? Yes. Alrighty. I want you to take...
Four damage. And that is the end of his turn,
and it is now Kelp's turn. Hello, hello. I'm
gonna move all the way up the stairs, assuming
I can move to here. Or would I... Yeah, just
checking, because in some iterations, when you
move past someone, sometimes in some rolls, it's
like... It deducts five feet. Ivory is 20 feet.
So he's in a dome of ice, right? Yeah. Question.
If I use control water, can I just, like, get
rid of that dome? Well, the dome is, like, kind
of living. But is it made of water? Magical water.
Yeah. You choose an area of water in which you
can see. Yeah? Yeah, yeah. What do you do? Very
simple. Kel puts his hand out. I can move it.
So I'm gonna move that water to here. Like there?
Yeah. So I just lift the dome, plonk it down,
and go. Hey, man. Okay. Oh, also, hold this.
Does a 15 hit the marshmallows? Yeah, so on his
way down, he can hold 7 force damage. Bang. Let
me look something up. Depending on how high that
is, it would be 1d10 or 2d10. That would be 3d6.
No, 1d6. 3d6. If you were to fall from this height.
Yeah, I'm so... I keep confusing myself. It's
like 1d10 per 10 feet. But no, it's 1d6. You
see, as he gets lifted up, he falls from all
the way up here, all the way down here. And he
takes... 3d6. 15. No, 12. Oh, I know how to read.
12. He takes 12 damage as he falls down. That's
the power of the ocean. Yeah, yeah. Tell Mathis
that. And then it would now be Purp's turn. Genesis.
All right. Do we think we're going to get a chance
to, like, rest after this? Yeah. Okay. It's only
going to be short rest, right? Not a long rest.
Yeah. Okay. Then I'm going to move over here.
Okay. 20 feet. And then I'm going to jump on
top of him. Oh. Okay. Okay. That is 2d6 of damage.
Would you like me to roll it? Yeah, yeah. Okay.
I'll take 7 damage, 7 bludgeoning damage, as
I land. And then while I'm on top of him, I am
going to... I'm gonna hit him. I don't think
I'm gonna do anything fancy. Yeah, I'm not gonna
do anything fancy. I'm just gonna hit him. So,
I need him to make me a strength saving throw.
Strength saving throw? Yes. Well, first let me
roll to hit two times. Uh, natural one. And then
13. Does a 13 hit his AC? Um, no. But he does
not need to make a strength saving throw because
I don't hit a single time. Yeah, okay. Yikes.
Um, is that the end of your turn? Um, I'm gonna
use a bonus action to place a seal on him. No,
no, no. I'm going to... Does this regain on a
short rest? Nope, it's prolonged rest. Then yeah,
no. That's my... I'm going to place a steal on
him. Okay. That's my turn. Alright, it is now
the Ice Spider's turn. Ivory, what would you
wish the Ice Spider to do? I can't... Real quick,
I can't stress enough. I need a six to hit him,
and I've hit him like once or twice. It's alright,
I can deal with them. So, you're saying that
you need to roll a six to seven? So, uh, Ivory,
what do you want the spider to do? Do you want
it to just, like, attack the guy? Yeah, I want
him to beat the shit out of Marshmallow. Oh,
okay, like, you want him to kill him? Yeah. Okay.
Uh... He walks down over to Marshmallow. Probably.
Yeah. He goes over to Marshmallow and he is going
to perform two bite attacks upon the guy. Woo!
And he hits both of them. Oh, Frank, fuck yeah!
Okay. This spider named Prank is more efficient
than I am. It's I'm not usually like this, I
swear. We found a new Genesis replacement. He...
Okay. He does 21 damage to the guy. That's wild.
And he successfully knocks him out. When the
spider was actually kind of... There's no way.
There's no way the spider actually killed him.
There's no way. He was at 11. I had a devious
plan, Bruin, by the way. Genesis. Devious plan.
I was going to move to, like, fucking here, and
then just keep pulling him up repeatedly. I think
Perb's upset. Okay, is there anything else that
you guys want to do before I end this encounter?
This combat encounter? Anything damaged? Anything
damaged on you guys? I want to pet Frank. I think
the only person who took damage was Genesis.
I'm going to short rest after. Yeah, I can't
heal that. I'm like, I'm thinking more fabric.
You know, like a tanning book. Yeah, yeah. What
if you land that giant ravine in the center of
the map? Yeah, let me just quickly the whole
world fucking... Slam together. What does Genesis
want to do now that he has successfully murdered
Marshmallow? Because it was all him. No, I didn't.
It was actually all you. That was the most unsuccessful
encounter of my life. He had like 100 -something
HP, and you did most of it. Genesis, I made...
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I
made one successful attack that did like 60 damage,
but that was all I did. I mean, you did most
of its HP. I made like five, I made six attacks
and I hit once. It's okay. No, I'm never going
to be happy ever again. I'll make you happy.
I'll treat you. I'll give you a treat. I'm going
to land. I'm going to do what I've wanted to
do this entire encounter. I'm going to walk over
to play and cut its head off. Oh, for realsies?
Not actually. Okay, I was about to say. Not actually.
You'd upset quite a bit of people. By that, I
mean one person. It's still my kill. Where's
my finger guns? I'm kidding. Stop! Leave Frank
alone! But yes, do you guys... I'd like to consume
Frank. You guys are monsters. You guys, as you
guys... It is getting dark. So do you guys want
to set up a camp and short rest? Should we open
the door and perhaps see if there's a place to
rest inside as opposed to out? When we neared
the area, a giant golem appeared. So I imagine
that this dungeon or whatever this is has multiple
traps inside. So I low -key think just like using
this platform to rest might be a better idea.
Could be wise. Do you guys want to use these
wooden plank looking things for a fire? Yeah.
Yeah, let me just control water. Not control
water, shape water. Guys, I don't have assets
for all of these. What if you make an igloo using
shape water and then we build a fire and it starts
belting on top of our heads? I have the thing
for fire, but I don't have something for an igloo.
Please that's all right Allow me in page to um
converse And I want to talk to my book You named
it page It's a sentient book a name Yeah Order
of a order of scribes I just kind of you guys
have literally see me take my book out as it
levitates and I'm having a full conversation
with this book Yeah, so I really like what you
did there with the Lightning Lord. Very, very
smart plan. Bigger guns. Also absolutely crazy,
by the way. Didn't even know that was a spell
up until five minutes ago. Really just life -saving.
Oh, people are staring at me. Would you say that
the book would speak back to you? Oh no, no one
else can hear this book, just me. It is just
a sentient book. I look schizophrenic. Are we
sure we want the fish people's help? Clambert
pops up. Oh, it's me! Clambert! I cut his head
off. Where's my scroll of summon Clambert? Scroll
of summon Clambert. My favorite scroll in the
game. Where's my wish ring that I had this whole
time? Well, Clambert has it now. Don't you remember?
He uses it to wish for infinite clamber. I wish
for a sandwich. He wishes for everyone to clamber.
I want all people to be clambered. The rest of
the campaign is just us having to do that fuck
-ass voice. Yeah, yeah, come on. Do it. Do the
voice. I have a question for thee. For who? Do
you guys want me to bring... Hang on. You guys
want me to bring that with us? Real quick, you
said I have a question. I was really hoping that
the guy who just joined the campaign was about
to ask the DM for a level up. Yeah, can I have
a level up, please? So when are we leveling up?
One hour in, the cast asked for a level up. Okay,
what were you asking if we should bring with
us? A guest who's here for one session. Can we
level up already? This golem's corpse, I point
down and go, do you want me to bring that with
us? What are you imagining? Well, you see, I
imagine it's quite heavy, you know, compact ice.
But I have a, hold on, page. The book floats
over. Yeah, so I'm reading here. I have a spell
called Bubble Lift. I can just lift him and then
should the need arise, I'm just going to like
end concentration and just crush our enemies.
Oh my god. Okay. Or we can use it to block like
a door. Like it's a pretty big creature. It's
a large creature. It takes up four spaces. I
say breaking the fourth wall. You see as Genesis
stares right into the camera. Paige, I get the
feeling we're not leveling up this session. Yeah,
I think it's smart to take you with us. Alright,
you guys set up the fire. I'm going to, uh...
Don't mind me. Water magic, am I right? You guys
can talk amongst yourselves. Is there anything
that you guys want to discuss? I'm going to level
up real quick. No. Yeah, I'm also going to just...
Did Frank level up? Frank does level up to level
30. Frank just got here. Frank's not leveling
up. Frank is level 40. Are you joking, dude?
You want Frank to level up, but you don't want
Jaded, our most experienced member, to level
up? What do you mean? I've been here since the
beginning, man. I've been here since the beginning.
I've been here the whole time. I just took down
Marshmallow. Who do you guys think you are? God.
Frank is easily the worst player character in
this campaign. Yeah. What? Frank? I actually
unironically have Fireball. I'd like to use it
on Frank. Unironically? No, you would not. Unironically.
I mind control you. You don't do that. Think
about how Juno would feel about that. I mean,
if that's what you want to do, roll damage. Or
roll to hit, I guess. Oh, it's a dex. DC 15 dex
save. Yeah, roll damage. Here's the damage it'll
have if, you know, you... Don't do this! At 38?
No! That'll be 19 damage if he saves. He did
not save. He dies. No! Wait, no, that's... I
was talking with Paige. Yeah, that thing will
be like four feet off the ground. That's not
ideal. But I believe it weighs like five pounds,
right? No. Yeah. So if, like, we grab it and
we throw it in the air, I'm pretty sure it hovers
down, like, slower than usual. You guys wouldn't
have, uh, what's it called? Container. Oh. I
have a bottle. Like a bucket. Bottles, alright.
Like a bucket. I have an idea. I have a water
skin. What? What about catapult? Good work. There
is rocks nearby. I don't know where we construct
such a... The bubble makes it weigh like five
pounds, I'm pretty sure. Catapult can shoot it
into the air and then you end concentration after
it's been shot into the air and it drops directly
on our enemies. Paige is telling me it has to
fit within the palm of his hand. I don't think
that... Do you have big hands? I have four. Are
they big? No. Yeah, I don't think that plan's
gonna work. We do have a spider, though. You
should put your spider in my napkin. Okay. You
have two spiders. I'm going to open my napkin
and I'm going to squash the spider. It is a pretty
big spider. I'd like to clarify. Is the spider
six feet in diameter? It's 25. It's 25 feet in
diameter? No. No, but it is a large beast. No,
it takes up one square. A large beast would take
up four squares. That was my nickname in high
school. Yeah. I don't know why. If I roll at
least a 10 on my skewbiz check, will you leave
my spider alone? Okay. I guess I won't kill your
spider. Wait, let me make this check. Is this
your first time coming to this temple? Hold on.
The skibbity is talking. Oh, my bad. Let me...
Very slow talking. No! There's no way! No! Look
at its head. Um... You see as... You see as Frank
the spider becomes Skibbity Twilight. And all
of a sudden you hear zoom, zoom, zoom. Cocomelon.
I cast five fireballs on the spider. Or whatever
it is. Stop. My spider alarm. This is the least
important thing that's ever happened. I call
my skateboard. Listen. Demon dragon poodle dog
can have a friend now. You're right. I'm going
to say that you guys. I hope dragon eats your
spider. I'm going to say that you guys. Actually
with the. With the size of the spider, the spider
will probably eat our dragon. Dude, keep your
dragon safe. That's all I'm saying. I'm, like,
unironically worried for our dragon and that
the spider will eat it. We'll survive. Don't
mention what the dragon is. Because I don't know
if Jaden knows what the dragon is, but unironically,
they have a pet dragon. I do have a pet dragon.
Yeah. He's a little baby boy. Are you sure it's
a dragon and not a wyvern? No, it's definitely
a dragon. I think we know the difference between
a dragon and another similar dragon creature.
Are you sure it's not a really big lizard? No.
Definitely not a lizard. Definitely not a lizard.
It's not like a seahorse or something. No, if
you look at it, you'll definitely be able to
tell that it's nowhere near a lizard. Does Ivory
want to summon Dragon, perchance? I can do that.
Yeah. I want to do that. I can put a dog. Pull
up. You want to summon Dragon? Yeah, I want to
summon Dragon. Jaden, look in no mic. Let me
take a little peek here. You see this horrifying
creature. This dragon appears right in front
of you. Page? Page the creature. What is this?
Oh, yeah. He's a water guy. He doesn't know where
dragons are. Dear God. Yeah, it makes sense.
Dragons usually run in the sky. I don't think
fish tend to know much about it. Page the sun.
Three letters. I -D -K. This mystery. You hear
in your head. You ask, uh, You ask Paige what
it is, and you just hear Paige say, Run. And
that's all you hear. This is our fearsome dragon.
We discovered him on our journeys. His name is
Dragon Poodle Dog. No, his name is just Dragon.
You're the only one that calls him that. This
is my dog. Who the fuck do you think you are?
You're the only one who calls him Dragon Poodle
Dog. You think you're superior than me? This
is my dog. You have no input in what I name my
dog. You're the only one who calls him Poodle
Dog. Neither of those things are what he is.
It's been his name. Since forever, I've been...
Oh, shit. Why would you name a creature something
like that? I gotta go. Why would you name this
fearsome dragon poodle dog? It's nothing like
a dog. It's nothing. You rat. It's like naming
him a bird, and I point at... I point at... Fuck,
what's his name? Fuck. Frank? Say my name. Kelp.
Yeah, that's my name. See, look at the icon.
Look at the icon for fucking dragon. I'm pretty
sure that's a dog. This is dragon poodle dog.
Okay? No, it's dragon. No. You have no input.
This is legitimately my dog. Who the fuck do
you think you are? You're below me. Asshole.
You want to know who took down Marshmallow? It
was Frank. And Frank is also mine. Is that a
giant toilet? I think we just got a visit from
Skibbity Toilet. You know, it does look very
akin to a sea dragon. Can I put dragon on my
character sheet? Can you be mine now? No, this
is mine. I'm going to take dragon. Anyways, so
you guys can all short rest. Hell yeah. It's
very akin to a sea serpent or a... What a trick.
Wait, I don't know if I have... Wait. Hey, Paige.
Play that one song I like. Despacito. Sorry,
Paige sometimes doesn't understand words I say.
I don't know. It's very faulty. I'll be like,
Paige, phone, burrito, and then suddenly I've
got a bag of Cheetos. Did you say call mom? You
don't want to know what happens when I say call
mom. Do you want me to actually make a character
token for dragon? Or dragon poodle dog? If you
want to, yeah. Can I make my, okay, wait, Juno,
can I make my argument for why his name should
be Dragon? I think you should stay the fuck away
from my dog. I thought the bit was that he was
a dog named Dragon, but if you just call him
Dragon Poodle Dog, then it, like, removes the
bit. Well, no, he's not a dog named Dragon, he's
a dog that, he's not a dog, he is a dragon. No
one noticed the fact that there's a urinal in
the corner. No, I totally noticed that, I willfully
chose to not talk about it. Okay, let me make
my argument. This is a dragon. Not a dog. This
is a dragon. Okay. Okay. But like... But people
are gonna think he's a dog because his name is
Poodle Dog. And we don't want to name him what
he's not. Breed of dragon. What? We don't want
to name him what he's not because it might get
people confused. Why didn't you come up with
this argument like five sessions ago? What was
your argument then? I've been calling him dragon
this entire time. I think you're schizophrenic.
I've never ever called him dragon poodle dog.
I don't think I like you. I think I hate you
by your feet. Are you breaking up with me? No,
I'm not doing that. I'm saying that to Jesus.
Yay! Okay, we should... We should probably...
Yeah, I'm short -rested. Okay, what do you guys
want to do? Enter the dungeon. You want to enter
the dungeon? Well, well, well. To enter my temple...
To enter the dungeon, you must first... But feel
a puzzle. You clambered. I want to cast Catapult
and I want to summon my Flaming Sphere. Does
it say the word glove at any point in this conversation?
And I leave. What has? No. You see that I don't
have the puzzle pulled up. Give me a second.
You guys get up to the door. And you see there
is no handle or anywhere that you can access.
And there is a circular indent at chest height
on the door. And there are eight rooms around
said circular indent. Each one with a different
symbol. Right? I'm going to go into the mic so
I can type out the symbol. There is a snowflake.
There is a wolf. There is moon. There is... There
is icicle. There is wind. And I accidentally
pressed enter. There is star. And there is flame.
And you see, do any of you guys speak Draconic?
I don't believe so. Or Primordial? I speak Primordial.
You go through all your character sheets real
quick. And I'd imagine Jaden would speak primordial,
too, or... He does not. Okay. So, you see no
one else. That means no one knows unless you
tell them. I would say this out loud, probably.
Inscriptions. And you see, only those who breathe
the cold, as we do, may pass within. and you
see those who breathe the cold as we do may pass
within and you uh yeah yeah okay um i'm kind
of made of fire actually only those who breathe
the cold and as much as we do may pass through
kelp what if you just like hit the door with
the body of that giant ice skull Because he definitely
breathes the cold in, as these guys do. You see,
in the circular indent at chest height, there
is a... It looks like it's supposed to open,
but it's not open yet. The indent looks like
it's supposed to open? Yeah, it's like an...
Here, let me draw it out. Okay. There's the door,
right? Yeah. And there's, like, the indent like
this. And you see in said indent, there is, like,
a sort of line like that that looks like it's
supposed to move the indent so that it opens
up to give you access to something. But it's
not. Okay. I use knock. Will that open the door?
What does knock do? Target that is held shut
by a mundane lock is either stuck or barred.
It becomes unlocked unstuck or unbarred if the
object with multiple locks only one of them is
unlocked. If a target is shut by an arcane lock,
that spell is suppressed for 10 minutes. It is
not mundane. We break open the wall next to the
door. The rock? Anything but solving the puzzle.
Um, I wanna, okay, can I do something? Yeah.
Um, it specifically says that only people who
can breathe in cold can go through, right? Yeah.
I mean, that's what you get from it. That's what
you assume it's saying. I look over at the others.
This ice golem summoned when we got closer, and
it probably breathes in the cold. Maybe there's
something that'll fit the slot, like the indent
inside of it or something. Maybe if we rip open
its heart and... Yeah, that's sort of what I
was thinking. What about the snowman? What about
the snowman? What about the snowman? Can I pick
up the snowman's corpse if it's still there and
place it above the fire? Above the fire? Yeah,
it melts. Is there anything inside? No. Okay.
Oh, wait. Actually, yes. One of the bodies of
the goblins are in the snowman. Oh, sweet. There's
a goblin inside the snowman. I thought it was
like a living snowman. Was this the ice equivalent
of a furry? You hear the voice of Thalet himself.
Yes, yes it is. That godly voice. What? Hey,
I guess they're chill like that. I guess they're
chill like that. I'm not the smart one. Does
anyone else want to help with this puzzle? Maybe
Kelp. Or Ivory or Maokai. Does anyone want to
roll anything? I eat the snow. I'm going to get
gushes, but I'll come back in like five seconds.
Sick. I do genuinely want to look inside the
ice golem. Is his body transparent because it's
made of ice? Yeah. Do I see any object in the
center? You see his heart. What does his heart
look like? It's like a... It looks arcane. It's
glowing. It looks like... Does it look like it
would fit the end there? No. Okay. But did anyone
want to roll anything? Can I roll perception
to see if there's anything else within the area?
Perception or investigation? Uh, I want to do
investigation. Investigation? Alright, roll investigation.
Fine. What did I roll? Okay. Yeah. I got a five.
Yeah. You don't... You don't see... You don't
see anything that sticks out too much. you see
snow that looks like odd but like it's not odd
enough you see rocks on the ground you see pieces
of the golem that's what you see you don't really
get much i roll perception as well. Let's see
if I get a better roll on that. Sure. Got 21.
21? 22. You see... You see a pile of snow by
the door that looks like it flew in the wrong
direction of where the snow was. Like, looking
around, looking at the rest of the snow. And
you see a little thing etched on the wall above
the snow. But you can't see all of it because
it looks covered up. Can I uncover it? Do you
want to move the snow? Yeah. You move the snow.
And you see a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
artwork etched into the ice. And it is a wolf
howling. at the howling in the middle of a storm
and it looks to be right at this temple exactly
where you are oh um so it's like it's like Like
an alpha or a sigma? Oh, it's an alpha. Oh, yeah.
Okay, thank you. They actually art show like
this. I didn't know you drew like that. I'm going
to point out the artwork to the rest of them.
And then, let me think about this. Did you guys
see my beautiful drawing? No. I drew it on the
thing. Can I try something? Yeah. My sword is
still on fire. I haven't turned it off. I want
to slowly move it closer to the door. As you're
doing that, you hear the ground beneath you start
to shake in a similar but much heavier manner
than when the first golem spawned. Nothing happens
to the runes, specifically the flame rune? Nope.
Okay. Can I howl? Can you howl? Go ahead. I had
the same thought, but I decided to test it by
activating the flame rune instead of the wolf
rune. Because I didn't want to make my character
fucking howl like a freak, but go off, king.
Pushing your sword through, can you roll me a...
What would it be? Perception? Are you, like,
looking at the runes? Are you looking at the
runes? Are you talking to me? Yeah, while you're
doing that. I just put my sword next to it. But,
like, as you're doing that, are you looking at
the runes? Yeah, the flame rune. Alright, roll
me a perception. Okay. Real quick. I'm back where
I missed. natural natural okay never mind all
right you don't see anything you see the rune
just sitting there doing looking pretty all right
if it doesn't activate then yeah i was how i
guess i how all right give me your best how right
now right yeah why me why did i choose to do
this You got this. You got this. I mean, last
time I got someone to howl, I let them automatically
succeed because it was like a great howl. Not
really. This is fucked up. This is humiliating.
Can you howl for me? Oh, wait. That was me. Oh,
wait. No, wait. I was the last person to howl.
Do I want to? The problem is that I'm in my room,
but I don't know if my family can hear me. I
can do it for you if you want. My family. I don't
know if my family can hear me. I'll take the
sacrifice. I've done it once before. I'll do
it again. If you don't feel comfortable, I'll
do it. If you're fine with it, then. Wait, wait,
wait, wait. Go ahead, King. I need to pay attention.
Ow, ow, ow! There you go. I'd kick him. Are you
looking at the runes as you're howling? Mm -hmm.
Nothing happens. Can you roll me a perception
check? Perception. Oh, 22. Looking at them, looking
at the wolf one specifically, you see they don't
connect to the wall directly. They look like
as if they were buttons. I push it. Which one?
I'll push the wolf. You want to press the wolf
one? I'll push the wolf. As you press the wolf
rune, it glows the color green. I might have
been a little lucky with that one. Oh, a photo.
A photo. Would it be based off of the photo that
there was that we had to press someone to the
photo? The beautiful, beautiful, beautiful drawing
that was oh so wealthily craftfully made by the
one and only Nova Spire over Spurt? It was so
gorgeous that I actually didn't show it to the
video because it was too beautiful. Too beautiful.
The world to see. Can you describe it again?
It was a wolf. Howling towards the sky. In the
middle of a storm, right where you guys are.
Is the moon present in the throwers? Yes. Okay.
So, probably wolf, moon. You said in the middle
of a storm. Do you repress wolf or do you just
press moon? No, I'm not pressing anything. I'm
saying hello. For the people who know what they're
doing. Aren't really buff. Are we on a mountain?
Um... One could say it is mountain -like. Would
you say it's mountain -like? Some would say that
it's mountain -like. But yes, it is on the edge
of a cliff. Is it like a snowstorm? Yeah, I would
say so. So I'd say snowflake. Wolf, moon, mountain,
and wind? Maybe? I feel like it could be all
of them besides flame. Are the stars present
in the picture? No. Oh, that star. There's an
icicle in the picture. So, uh, what do you wanna,
what do you wanna do? Can I press on the moon?
Press on the moon? Uh, yeah, you press moon and
it glows the color green. Green. Okay. Um...
If it's... Is it, like, snowflakes visible in
the picture or is it just, like... Uh, it is
a snowstorm. I can't see you redraw this said
picture. Nope. I think Snowstorm would probably
be both Wind and Snowflake, right? Yes, but there's
an... I think there's an... I genuinely think
it might just be all of them except Starflame
and maybe Icicle. We're on a cliff, right? Wait,
can I press Mountain? Mountain? So... Yes, so
wait, are you all by the door? Because you two
would be there. Let me delete all the... Oh!
Let me delete the map stuff. Oh, where would
Kelp be? Kelp would probably just chill kind
of by them. And, uh, into, like, his book. Hold
his hand out as a quill summons as he just scribbles
down Worfenmoon in his book. Fascinating. Alright,
so, uh, as you click the mountain button, um,
you see the circular indent open up. and shoot
you all with an Icy Wind dealing 2d6 damage.
Let me roll. Take 2 damage because I rolled 2
nat 1s on 2d6s. I love this game. Ouch. You said
2 damage? 2 damage each. Okay, so we can roll
that one out. Um, do you guys want me to just
input whatever code we decide on? You guys step
back. Is there a door here? Is it like a door
trying to open? Yes. Yeah. Uh. But it doesn't
have a temple block that can be opened by knock.
Hmm. It feels divine. Obviously, it's the temple
of the palette. All right, do you guys want to,
like, step back? I look at an ivory. Yeah, I
step back. So, like... Is ivory stepping back?
Yes. Okay. All right, I'm gonna click wolf and
then get back to where we were. They both go
green. Wind, maybe? Okay, uh yeah, I'll click
wind Give me a second roll those to these X Perhaps
star might be the correct one there i've redrawn
it uh and you said you pressed wind yes all right
as you press it it opens up and shoots you with
three damage of icy wind all right again this
time i'm going to try wolf star wolf moon star
wolf moon star or no not start stop not start
not start I look back to Kelp. Why do you think
star? Wow. Wolf is connected to the moon and
stars are connected as well. You know, wolves
howl at the moon. The moon's in the sky as is
stars. Perhaps it's a connect the dots type thing.
I'll try star, but first I want to click snowflake.
First you want to click snowflake? Yeah. So I
clicked wolf. I clicked wolf, moon, snowflake.
As you click snowflake, the light, it glows green.
And the thing opens up and out comes a horn of
sorts. No. I take the horn. Well, it's like in
the wall. It's built in. Oh. I want to wrap the
horn. Can you grab it? What do you do? Is it
like a door handle kind of? No. It's like a...
How do I describe it? It is a... Is it something
I blow into? You can try. Okay. I'm gonna...
I look towards the others. Jedi. You guys are
smarter than me. No balls. Okay, I blow into
it. Roll me a constitution saving throw. Constitution
check, check, not saving throw. DC 13, DC 13.
Con check. DC 13? Yeah. 10. Yeah, so as you do
that, you feel part of your body freeze up. Not
like completely, but like you feel your body
slowly get like supernatural, like chill rush
through your body. I'm going to blow into it
again. Again? My thought process here is the
rhyme said only those who breathe the cold as
we do may pass within. So my thought process
here is that it's a test of endurance and you're
supposed to be able to breathe in the cold and
like endure it and just move past. So I'm going
to blow into it again. All right, roll again.
I mean, that was very risky. This time, 19. 19?
You blow in, and you blow, and as you blow, you
get... I've been training for this. No, this
blows. As you blow into the horn, you feel a
rush of supernatural wind. blow towards you,
but instead you're able to harness it and you
blow that into the horn as well. And the door
opens up. I was not built for this. Oh wait,
I literally was. I start lighting on fire and
the glass clears away as I use my bonus action
to emit my inner flame and resume the glow. For
a bonus action, I emit 10 feet of light and produce
a fiery flame. And then I turn it off. Alright,
shall we? Do you guys all walk in to the big
thing? We should decide a marching order. I want
to go in first. I want to go with him. Is that
actually how you want to go? The tank walks in
the back. I could perhaps go up front so I can
make a magical shield around myself should danger
arise. You're a wizard. Okay, all three of you
guys will walk side by side in the front and
I'll be behind you. Wait, I want to be in the
back then. Yeah, I want to go first. I have a
21. I... I can go off the back, or I can go off
the front. Wherever you guys need me most. That's
what she said. I want the front. She did proclaim
that. That is something of the teachings. Thank
you, Paige. So, is this kelp? Ivory. Oh, we're
losing her. We're losing her! Claire! Do you
want to go with Malakite? Okay. What? So like
this? Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not asking
you to go. I don't want you to go with Malakite.
I'm asking because you said you wanted to go,
so I'm trying to see if that's like your final
decision. I'm fine wherever I go. I like sitting
in super slow. Malakite, I'd like to go in front
with you. So it'll be Malakite, me, and then
ivory and then i i know you have your shield
uh you know kelp but you're also a wizard so
i would prefer if you could be in the back so
you can cast a spell if something actually happens
spells so like that yeah yeah kelp and ivory
can be side by side if two people fit it's just
like if it if there's ever a situation where
we need to go one by one single file line You
guys walk in and you see a giant statue in the
center of the room. A phallant, the god that
I do not have art of, but I will at some point.
And you see a giant statue. And you see a pedestal
with a bracelet on it in the center, right below
the base of the statue. It is well lit up. It
is well lit up. Um, may I? Feel free. This is
your god. I want to walk over and hold my hand
just, like, not touching it, but just above it
and cast a little spell. Above what? The amulet.
The bracelet? All right. What are you casting?
Identify. Identify? This is the bracelet that
these three have been sent to grab. It is the
one that houses the power. It is the one that
is said to be able to defeat the Mathis army.
Does it require a tomb and is it cursed or anything?
Yes and yes. Right. Is the pedestal it's on?
Does it have some sort of pressure plate trap?
What is the effects of this curse? What do they
do? That one you do not know. I hold my hand
down and I go, So, a couple things. This is what
you were sent for. Second, this is cursed. It's
far... It's way more powerful than I. I can't
really discover what this curse is, but... Fair
warning, it is, in fact, cursed. With what? This
curse? I just told you, I don't have the power.
I'm... Is it, like, a cool curse, or is it, like,
a bad curse? No, it's... No curses are cool.
It's... It's most likely a bad curse. It's not
gonna be something you want. Awww. Awww. This
is the worst. What do you guys do? We got what
we needed, Raid. We can go back. Well, you haven't
grabbed it. It's just sitting there. Wait. Oh,
yeah. Do any of us have tongs? I take my robe,
wrap it, and then wrap it around my hand. Oh.
I take my napkin out. What? Dude. And I... Huh?
Continue. Okay. Jeez, dude. Why are you guys
being so weird about this? I take my napkin out.
And I unfold my napkin. And... Are you going
to eat it? Inside of this napkin. And I place
the napkin on me like a bib. Oh, no. And you
guys see that inside of this napkin is a... A
six feet in diameter hole that seems to lead
into some pocket dimension. And I place the napkin
on top of the amulet and then sweep it back so
I make zero contact with it. It goes directly
into the pocket dimension and then I close the
napkin and fold it back up. Okay, that works.
You can retrieve that from that hole, right?
Yeah, absolutely. I just turn it upside down
and it falls out. Right. Fascinating. So... I
actually bought it in a shop in your town, in
your city. Yeah, there's plenty of magical stuff.
See, I tend to go to the library as opposed to
stores. Lots of cursed items. Don't want to risk
it. So as you grab the bracelet, you hear the
voice of Thalet. Did I give you permission? He
did not. I put the napkin in my bag of holding
and I create a portal to the actual napkin and
then we get sucked into a black hole. No. Did
I give you permission to grab that? Who's he
speaking? Is he speaking to all of us? To you.
In my brain? Yeah. Oh. Okay. Um, I'm going to
assume that I can telepathically speak to him.
Yeah. So I'm going to say, you must be Thalid.
Yes, that is my name. I am Thalid the Tidemaker.
Your people sent us on a mission to retrieve
this item. You are a - You have caused nothing
but pain to my people. To my children. That may
be true. But now, if you give us this item, we're
offering to make it right. How do I know I can
trust you? You don't. have hurt me. What can
I have in return? Uh, I checked my pockets. This
is a very long, awkward silence. Yeah, I'm just
standing here in complete silence, not speaking.
What will you give me? Does it seem like he's
asking for an actual material? You don't know.
Your first part is a good answer. Yeah. I genuinely
don't know what I could give this guy. A kiss.
You're right. Yeah, I give him a smooch. Wow,
that was beautiful. But wrong answer, and you
die. I evaporate. I actually, I'll look at the
others. Guys. That's me, and everyone else here,
what's up? Dalit, the god of the oceans, is currently
talking to me in my brain. What? Are you sure
that's not just the voices that are usually in
your head? You hear voices too? No, not typically.
Oh. Oh, okay. He wants something in return for
the amulet. Well, what are you going to give
him? I don't know. That's why I'm kind of asking
you guys. After him, the king of Mathis will
be dead. No, no, he seems to... His whole thing
was like, why should I trust you? You have to
give me something. So I think it's sort of like
an insurance policy. Or like a trade. I feel
like... I could give him my undying loyalty to
kill the king of Mathis, but I kind of don't
want to do that. Because what if I change my
mind and don't want to do it? kill the king of
mathis anymore but is there an entire reason
why we formed an entire new no like right now
i want to kill the king of mathis but what if
we like show up at the king's headquarters and
he's like actually they're evil because they
did this and then we find out that like we've
been on the wrong side like i don't want to be
like i'm not you know i'm not dumb enough to
make myself indebted to a god you know like who
would do that who would ever could ever make
themselves indebted to a patron and then like
i'll regret it Who? Yeah, man. You guys see the
casino? Wait, how do you... How do you know about
the casino? Wait, how do you... Wait. What will
you give me? I'll develop a crippling gambling
addiction for you. This doesn't benefit me in
any way. But alright. No, but like, seriously,
what are we doing? I have a ring. A proper one.
I'll marry him. And engraved into it, it says,
I'll try again when the war is over. Did I place
it where the bracelet used to be? You see as
the torches start to flicker. Uh, before turning
red. Like, the room lights up red. No. Oh, reduction's
tough. The camera pans over to Genesis. He's
slowly hovering dragon above the pedestal. You
bitch! Um, by the way, is dragon able to breathe
underwater? You're not underwater. Oh, yeah,
I forgot we came to the surface. I got confused
by the image. You are... How about we make an
agreement? You promise me no one but you will
hold this power. You use it for what you promised
to use it for. And if you don't, you will belong
to me. He says this to me? Yeah. You know that
this amulet is cursed and you want to force me
to be the one that uses it. Oh, I am aware. It's
not like a bad curse. It's not like horrible.
It's not like... It's mostly just like... You
want me to willingly let you curse me. It's not
like a bad curse. It's just like... I'm able
to speak with you whenever I want. No matter
what. As long as you have it on. And also, you
can only take it off if you ask me first. And
I tell you again. I... It's not like a horrible
curse. It's like very bland. I have an idea,
gentlemen. What if I talk to Falet and ask what
they want? He just brand -binned me that he only
wants to speak to me. This is really bad timing.
Ah, damn! Yeah, you missed your chance by literally
0 .2 seconds. You know, I was just looking at
my spells and I thought... Yeah, it's just there's
a lot of awkward silence. Yeah, no. All right.
Yeah, from the perspective this must be really
weird. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'll just... I'm, like,
unironically the worst person that could have
gotten this offer. I, like, don't care enough
to curse myself from God forever. I'll do it.
Wait. I say to my brain, would you, like, accept
him? Well, like... The gas that'll appear for
one session and then the rig will have to go
to someone else and then I'll just have to make
the same deal. I'll take this important item
for the story and disappear forever. What if
I do it? Nah. A Closepo character becoming indebted
to some sort of gobbly figure? What? What? Where's
the casino? Especially one of the ocean? That
would never happen. Oh my god. Guys, it's the
Kraken. Time to repeat history. I don't want
to repeat history again with Closepo. He's like
almost gone. Everyone murdered like eight people.
Yeah. But hey, this campaign too. Give me this.
I actually unironically do want to ask him why
me. You, uh... I... I know who you are. I've
seen what you've done. I've seen what you've
done. And I know what you can do. The other two,
their reasons aren't that. Your purpose, your
plan, it's the most genuine. I mean, other than
Ivory's is pretty genuine, but like also. So
you want to make absolute certain that I don't
have the ability to change my mind or do anything
different? If you want to use my power against
my people, you can do that all you want. But
there will be consequences. I can tell you for
sure. I look towards the others. I can tell you
for sure. You guys. Mathis is in the wrong. They've
always been in the wrong. I look towards the
others. And I open the portable napkin and I
take the ring out. And I'm looking towards the
others, say. Or the bracelet, right? It's a bracelet.
Okay, sorry. I look towards the others. You guys
know that I retired like 10 years ago, right?
No idea. What? You guys do know I'm like a 40
-year -old man, right? You're 40? Yeah. Dude,
I thought you were 31. Damn, I was told you were
like... 38 point, like, 20 or something. Yeah,
like, you're 41. Ivory Malachite. How much does
this one mean to you? Winning this. Hello. Oh,
are you talking to Paige? No, okay. Okay. Ivory,
Malachite, genuinely, how much does this war
mean to you? A lot. I have really nowhere to
go after this. Haha, homeless fuck. Oh, sorry.
Um, it means - What? Okay, crazy. Fireball! Fire!
That's it. Shatter! No, no, I'm having none of
this. Finger, nothing, I'm kidding. Do you actually
have Fireball, Mal? I do. Fireball. No, I'm kidding.
Wait, I do. Fireball. I will shatter Ivory to
pieces. Don't try me. Continue. Continue, guys.
This homeless bum cannot be talking. Anyways.
Oh, okay. That's you, family list. That's crazy.
I'm sorry, but are you still talking? Alright,
alright, Ivory. Ivory. Answer the question. It
means everything. And I... I... I don't know.
It means a lot. It's... Not like we can go back.
To our families because fucking Mal doesn't have
a fucking homeless bum. You have nowhere to go.
I do have a family. Where's yours, Ed? You can
go to my house if you want. You're lonely and
you're worthless and I'm gonna eat you alive.
I'm gonna be so incredibly honest with the two
of you. My reasons for this war are nowhere near
as important as yours. You guys, I don't know
what your history is or why you're doing this.
But... I... My reasons are flimsy at best. So...
i pull the bracelet up if you guys genuinely
think that this is that important to you then
i guess i have more reason and i put the bracelet
on oh wait that's oh yeah as soon as you put
the bracelet on you can feel your body start
to i feel them entering me you feel your body
the spirit of talent is coming inside of me I
should have warned you not! He's coming! You
feel a flood enter your body. Oh lord. You feel
a similar thing as to what Mal had earlier. You
have gills now on the either side of your neck.
Oh, that you can feel, no one else can see. I'm
blind! You realize the bracelet or the ring that
you put on earlier to... I no longer need it,
right? The ring that you have on your finger
from the shark guy. Ring of the tide. It's useless.
You feel powerful. You feel much stronger. And
you feel connected. To Thalet himself. You feel
like you have... You feel like a vessel. Sort
of. I'm a fish. You're the most watery fire person
I've ever met. Okay. Do I add it as a custom
item? The bracelet of whatever... Just put the
bracelet of Thalet. You disrespect my fucking
god, I'll tell you! Okay. Alright. Okay. What
do you wish to do now? Oh, we get a wish? No,
no, no. I wish that the world goes back to the
way it was. I wish we could start all over again,
guys. And I also wish for a BLT sandwich. I wish
I knew what to wish for. Shit. Alright, I wish
I - As I put the bracelet on, I turn to the rest
of them. I wish the world went back to how it
was before the war. Except Ivory's family stays
dead. And then I feel like... I've never mentioned
ever having a family to any of you guys. Like,
I came out of nowhere and you guys are going
with it. Ivory has never once mentioned her family
at all to you guys. You guys want to see a magic
trick? You guys are assholes. I'm sorry. What
if Ivory does have a family and you guys are
being really rude for no reason? I think we both...
I think we all know. Can you shut the fuck up?
No way. With the way you play your character,
there's no way you have loved ones. Yeah, no.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm
sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm
sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. During
the episode where we... In the clock tower. Oh,
I don't remember. I'm sorry. I thought it was
the Clock Tower episode when we went, uh, episode
five, maybe. Huh? Like, I was sworn Ivory said
something about their family in episode five.
I doubt I would have mentioned my family. I don't
think I did. I think, I think you might have
said something like, this reminds me, but I don't
think you ever said it in any character. Like,
I'll, like, I'll lie. I think it might have been
related to, like, the flowers we passed that
one time. Flowers? Yeah. I think so. I didn't
talk about it at all. All right. Nova did. Nova
brought up how it felt to Ivory, but there was,
like, I... Ivory didn't mention it at all. Okay,
W. All right. Yeah, so I don't know where you
guys are getting this false information from,
but Ivory does have a family, guys. I have guilt.
And Ivory's really happy about it. Are they dead
or, like, are they alive? And she's come out
to this war to fight... Oh, you can also see
underwater. You guys have struggled with that
since you got here. I haven't. We're not in water
right now. Well, yeah, but, like... Pussy. Oh.
Strike him down. Strike him. Wait. Wait, Thalid,
I'm sorry. Wait, Thalid, I'm sorry. Sorry, Violet's
telling me to what? No, I can't do that. Do you
guys want to head back to the council building?
Yeah. Alright, this way. Good idea, God. We should
go back to the council building. Let me, uh,
go go gadget super speed. Go go gadget. Teleport!
I teleport there. Yeah, that doesn't work. So
do you guys all Venture back to the council,
though. Or does anyone want to do anything first?
Are there any other, like, sacred religious artifacts
I can desecrate? There is a... Oh, yeah. There's
a thing for every god. There is, uh... This way,
I'll take you to one. Or every one of the seven.
So there's one for Thalit, Aetherion, Veilis,
Nixara. Wait, like artifacts? Yeah, similar to
the one that you have. That makes you a vessel.
The bracelet. Oh. Yeah. Okay. Gotta collect them
all. Do you guys want to unironically pick all
of them up? Sure, I'll come with you guys. I
mean, imagine something will go wrong. What could
go wrong? Yeah, what could go wrong here? Okay,
so once you pick one up, you have to convince
the god it's attached to why you should be allowed
to take the artifact. Oh, that's... I'm the most
convincing person I know. Okay. So, like, which
one? You know, I can't see any world in which
I die today. I got the solid one. I got water.
There's the fire one, the earth one, the air
one, the life one, the death one, and the time
one. Um, do any of you guys want to make a religion
check real quick? While you guys are talking
about this. Who's the best at religion? I'm proficient
at it, but for me, that only means a plus three
because I'm not very smart. I don't think I want
to do religion. Well, I mean, Kelp is a wizard
who is a scholar and also worships Thalet, has
a plus seven. Nah, he wouldn't. So anyway, let's
just pick up all the artifacts right now. Does
someone want to roll religion, though? Let me,
let me. Jesus. I know, I know. In the beginning.
I think it's clear that I'm going to be the one
to roll. Oh, well, I got an 18. Idiot. Ivory,
while you were gone, we realized you don't have
the bracelet of Dalet. With an 18. There's a
different artifact for every single god on different
pedestals in this room that we can take with
no consequences whatsoever. You should take one,
Ivory. Not in this room. But they do exist. They
are scattered about. Oh! If you guys wish to
find a map, I will be able to give you the locations.
i wish i could find the map kelp would know kelp
would know the location of some of them when
you described it i fully thought it was just
like all of this room like on different pedestals
no no no no uh here look at my screen share so
we're gonna we're gonna set this one to blue
uh like this this blue so you guys can see this
where i'm gonna put this blue dot is like where
you guys are You're on this little island right
here. Right there. That little island. That blue
is. That is where. You guys are. Currently that
is where the. The. Phthalate one is. The Aetherion
one. If I can. I can move it. You know. That
would be nice. Is somewhere. This direction.
Okay. So this is the Phthalate one right here.
This island right here by this red square. Right?
Oh my lord. Why does it keep doing that? Right?
The Phthalate one would be somewhere over here.
Right there. The... What's his name? The Wind
one? Wind guy? Somewhere all the way up here.
Uh, Nixara? You should leave the thoughts where
they are for future reference. I will. Uh, I'm
gonna have to fix up this map. But this is where
Nixara's would be. Veilis... Down here. Who am
I missing? It's okay, guys. Cronus, Cronus, Cronus.
Do we want to Pokemon collect them all? Uh, but
with the 18. you know that you guys can only
have one each like only one person can have one
of the vessels or be a vessel of one god yeah
you can only have one each unfortunately what
if what if every uh guest episode we get another
one and then like and then we you know we give
them to the gas people you know i was talking
to your notes since you know only only one can
yeah no yeah Yeah. You guys also talk to objects
as well, or is it just me? Well, like, now I
have a bracelet I talk to. Yeah, see? I'm not
the weird one anymore. I have a shield. Yeah.
Yeah, but, like, bracelets and books are cool,
and shields. I brought a union to get more schizophrenic.
Now! I got a spell for this. Modify now! I'm
kidding. That was the sound of me. Grant Schizo!
No! It's spell scroll summon Schizo. Um... You
know, summon Schizo doesn't make summon Schizofrenia.
It summons some random guy named Paul that has
Schizofrenia. And he just shows up. I'm Bob,
and this is Jack. This is Dave. Who? Dave? Do
you not see him? This is Dave. Where? What? Dave's
right here. Are you blind? Dave is right... I'm
not great. And that's how that went. That was
how that went. Yeah. So, you guys go back to
the council, though? Yeah. You go to the council.
Long, treacherous journey, blah, blah, blah.
It takes you like a whole three hours of swimming.
That was long and treacherous. You feel much
faster when you swim. You feel like you have
a swim speed of 40. Are you going to make the
ring a custom item? No, I'm going to homebrew
it. Okay. Don't you worry. But you have a swim
speed of 40. And you guys get to the council.
And do you guys just walk in? No, we blow up
the wall because we're badass and we fly in and
we start shooting everyone with guns. So you
guys walk in the door. See, they're being quiet
because they agree. Yeah, I know. I didn't want
this to happen. You guys walk through the door
and you guys you know walk in and Like... You
walk in, and you go to the... Go to the council
main room, I'm assuming? Yeah. Yes. Ivory, do
you think this means I'm married now? Yes, I
also think that they wanted the bracelet. And
now you're wearing it, so I think we're going
to get the shit beat out of us. Well, no. When
I go in there, I'm going to be like the god beam
that's in my brain that I needed to be the one
to wear it or he would be mad at me. Okay. I
feel like they'd forgive me listening to their
god. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So you guys walk in and
you see Viamedi. standing there uh and you guys
speak to the guy and what do you guys want to
say he he he doesn't say anything to you but
you see you see you see you see you you could
you you be first say things him Ever wanted to
do something so much that that you that that
that you um that that you that you you you could
you would you you wanted to You could do anything.
Can you shut shut up? I Hate you I activate the
Devastator I'm devastated Damn it. You beat me
to it. Do you guys want to say anything? Genesis,
actually. He sees you and he knows. He knows.
He knows already. Do I just give off that vibe?
Yes. You give off an aura. Guys, my aura. My
aura. Yeah, yeah, so I brought you. I sense that
you've gotten what I've sent you to get. I hold
my arm off showing off the bracelet. You put
it on? On entering the temple, Dalet spoke to
us telepathically. Or to me, rather. He told
me that he wouldn't. Allow us to take the bracelet
unless I made sure I was the one to put it on
You know I'm not that upset about this actually
So I was really worried he wasn't gonna believe
me and I was ready to make a joke about religious
people believing any random guy who says he heard
the voice of god except for me and i was gonna
be really upset about it so he blessed you is
what you're saying are you a vessel i've got
gills that i didn't have before can i see can
you take off unless that's like a normal thing
did you guys grow gills too no wait so you don't
have gills Well, yes, we do, but we just had
them. Well, then how do you know? How do you
know that when I entered that temple, you didn't
automatically grow gills? Well, the other two
don't have gills. How do you know that? I'm looking.
They don't have helmets on. You sure? Wait, do
I have gills? Yeah. Their faces are just masks.
You see, he has gills, and he will with us. Well,
yes, but he had gills prior. How do you know
that? What? You know what? That's a fair point.
Holy shit. Guys, maybe the real bracelet was
in all of us all along. There's a bracelet. Can
we open up my guts and check? Yeah, I can. I
got a spell for that. Okay, guys. You know those
things where after you die, they kind of cut
open your stomach? Yeah. Like a Y -shaped. We
do that really quickly. What if I... Here. I
have fire powers. What if I cremate you? And
like they do with like plates and stuff inside
of people, I pick them out of your ashes. Yeah,
we should do that. Okay. Because everyone knows
your gills. Like the bracelet won't burn. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay. I place my hands. They light on fire
and I place my hands into them. Hold on a second.
It just needs a couple minutes to warm up. We're
in the ocean, so it'll probably take a couple
hours. I'll slowly start burning. The water around
you starts to disappear completely. I think I'm
boiling the ocean. So then we can have a big
seafood boil! Maybe that's the reason Mathis
does everything. They just really want to see
Rufoil. They just really agree. He's been getting
so many soldiers so then they can all touch the
fireball at once on the ocean. There's a real
reason they're all down here. Yep. It's coming
together. It's all making sense now, guys. They're
all coming together. Or yeah, no, he was saying
that this wasn't bad. Do you guys hear that squeaking
in my background? No. Yeah, I just thought that
was Paige again. Yeah, no. So my new cat, Roach,
has a squeak rat toy. You have a new cat? Where
if he slaps it, it squeaks. And he's just been
fucking with it constantly. I don't know why
I'm still doing the Genesis voice. Did he just
slap it again? He's a really ugly fucking cat.
I accidentally deleted an item from your inventory.
What did you delete? Ring of the Tide. That's
okay, I don't need it anymore. Wait, where did
the artifact go? What? What the fuck? Um, I have
now given you your Bracelet of Phthalate. Oh,
it's back. And I've equipped it automatically.
If it's not made well, I'll be upset about it.
I'll look at it. Um, this is not made well. Why
not? Um, look at my homebrew items. They mock
yours. Um, no? Mm, yes. Uh, yours don't level
up, though, so get rekt. Yes, they do, actually.
Can you shut up? Um, so... What? As you're talking
to Viamedi, uh, he... Uh, he's, he's looking
around. He looks very, he looks, uh, nervous.
Are you okay? Um, yes. Uh, my mom's coming for
dinner tonight. No, um, we've gotten word. What
the fuck? What the fuck? We got word that, uh,
Mathis. uh, has developed a new weapon recently.
And, uh, if they use it, it could destroy an
entire kingdom. So are they doing, like, a suicide
bombing where they kill the whole kingdom of
Mathis and kill themselves? That'd be cool. What?
What? What? Nothing. That would be cool if they
killed themselves. What? I really like the idea.
Can you imagine if, like, when the US first invented
nuclear weapons, they were like, look at the
cool thing we can do in a nuclear -owned country?
Yeah. I mean, I'm surprised we didn't. Awesome
flex to the edge. Um, but, uh, uh, He hands you
a shell, like a conch. Is that what they're called?
Is that what I'm thinking of? Yeah. Conch. Conch.
Conch. Conch. Are you conching him again? He
hands it to Genesis. This is a phone. This is
a cell phone. At any point that you guys need
assistance... That's a shell. That's a shell
phone. Shell phone. Yeah. If at any point you
need our assistance, or if at any point we need
you, we will dial you up on this conch. Conch.
It is a new development that we are working on.
I don't know why Mathis is trying to kill us
while we're working on this, but you know. And
so, If you need it. You have it. Your friends
mentioned wanting to go to the Velkan Empire
before. For the child. And we could not get them
down here because there's a war between here
and Velka. But we do have the kid. Is the child
in danger? No. No. I don't think so. But we did
get troops there, and they are aware that you
are going to be there at some point. So if that
is what you guys would like to do, you guys can
head out, and I can figure out a mission for
you guys, or whatever. And he hands you guys
all 200 gold pieces. Thank you. I'll put it to
good use. And then, do we want to gamble today?
Is this what we want to do? I level up twice
today. You level up today? Yes, I would like
to gamble. I want you to roll me a d20. Flat
d20. If I hadn't said that I wanted to gamble,
there's a chance you would have just leveled
us up. But I made it a gambling thing. And even
if that's not true, Nova, I need you to let them
think it's true. Huh? If you roll above a 10,
I will let you level up. If you roll a nat 20,
I will let you level up twice. Can I cast Guidance
or do other in -character stuff with this? What
does Guidance do again? Is that reroll? 1d4.
No. So this isn't like an in -character thing
that's fully just lock -based? Yep. So no Bardic
Inspiration either? Nope. Can someone else roll
this? Nope. Okay. Guys, guys, guys. You have
a 50 -50 chance of leveling up. No, no, I don't.
No, I don't. No, I don't. Because I have not
rolled higher than a five this session. Except
like one time. But guys, that is exactly why.
Because this entire session, guys. This entire
session, I have been building up my luck, building
up everything for this one moment. All the fives,
all the misses on that ice golem has been for
this because I'm about to roll a natural 20.
You messed this up. I'll never forgive you. You're
banned. You don't understand. You don't understand.
these gate dice the natural 20 and the natural
one don't look to look exactly the same i thought
it was a natural 20. i thought it was a natural
20. so like can we also roll just is there anyone
who you would say has better luck than you everyone
i just rolled a natural one any specific one
person though that you would like to roll Or
do we want Jaden to roll this? The guest. The
guest? Wait, no. No. No, not the guest? I'll
give you guys one more try, but you guys have
to figure out who you're going to roll. There's
one person that I believe could save us here.
Who? Gold22. No. Message Gold. Hey, Gold22. Gold22.
Oz. Oz. Out of everyone, In the group, you have
had the best luck with rolls. By far. In Units
and Masterminds, in D &D, in everything we do,
you roll the highest consistently luck -based.
I thought that because I roll terribly, that
meant I would roll high this time. I was wrong.
Because it was always meant to be you, Closebow,
Ozzy, Malachite. You need to do it. Oz, roll
me a flat d20. May the gods be with me today.
That's a 15. We level up one time, so you guys
are now all level 8s. Can I? Okay. Wait. Wait.
Huh. Never mind. What? Double or nothing? Nope.
Is that what you were gonna say? Is that what
you were gonna say? Guys, guys, Double or Nothing
is so worth it here. Double or Nothing is so
unbelievably worth it here, guys. This needs
to be Neno's decision. There's no way I'm deciding
this for the group, but guys, please. Why is
it actually kind of worth it? Double or Nothing,
please. Juno, Juno, what are your thoughts? Yeah,
we can do it. That would be funny. Who do you
want to roll? Ivory. Ivory? Okay. Ivory. Yeah,
she's the only one. Roll a 5d20. Okay, give me
a second. Oh, it's going to take like an hour.
Okay. And if this rolls a natural 20? Can I roll
only? What? Can I roll only to you to see what
happens? Do you hate us? Do you hate me on a
deeply personal level? Yeah, that is where it
is rolling. Yeah, I can see it. That's going
to take super long because of the time. Damn,
I got a natural one. He hasn't gone through.
Oh my god. What? What? No, no, someone say it.
Someone say it. Level 10, right? Level 10, right?
Uh -huh. You rolled a natural 20. No, it was
not one. Level 10, guys. But for the sake of
the fact that you guys rolled two nat 1s for
this, I think that's something. That's two separate
nat 1s. So I'm going to let you level up one
time. But two nat 1s is... No! We're not doing
this. I end it here. all right triple or nothing
triple another natural one three not ones and
a 15. we win right level up twice level up to
level nine i i love you you have to be kidding
me Yeah, you thought Oz was the luckiest? Me.
Two levels. God genuinely hates us. God's with
me today! Level up twice. Holy shit. Thank you,
Nova. Three nat ones and a nat 20. I think that's...
God dang. Natural 1 of 15. A natural 1 of a natural
1 of a natural 20. This is a great day. What?
Genuinely, what are the chances of rolling a
natural 1, a 15, albeit, a natural 1, a natural
1, a natural 20? That's crazy. I think... Wait,
no, now my luck's gonna be gone for my D - No,
D &D gods, please don't leave my luck, no. Yeah,
you fool. I'll see you in 30 minutes. No, I'm
gambling. That means all three of us will roll
natural 20s consistently for the next session
we're in. Have fun gambling when you gave away
all your luck today, idiot. Ha ha ha. Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you guys
have all my money, wait, wait, no, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
That's crazy. Genuinely getting three other,
like, being in a session with three other players,
all three of them rolling natural ones, and then
you rolling a natural 20 has got to be the most
insane thing I've ever seen in a D &D game. Yay!
Like, it was only broken up by your roll. Meaning
three other people, like, rolled. Natural one,
natural one, natural one. You got natural 20.
I will say, I will say, like, there was i think
there was the time it was like versus the king
i rolled two nat 20s in a row i felt so happy
for that like i dnd luck is honestly an insane
thing i'm a lucky person i need to go gambling
i need to buy a guy i'm gonna guys i'm gonna
go buy a scratch off ticket hold on by the way
he can't buy a scratch off that's so how is everyone
Really good. I'm dumb, man. W. I really like
that natural one that I got. That was awesome.
Yeah, mine's just pretty cool, too. Yeah, yours
is so good. I'm wearing five different pairs
of headphones. Anyways, so that's going to be
the end of this session. Wow, okay. I just looked
at your camera, Jaden. That's going to be the
end of the session. If you guys want more Kelp
content, like, subscribe, leave a comment. What
the fuck? You better because Kelp's eternal.
This is the first time you've ever ended an episode
like this. Are you fucking okay? Are you okay?
Head down to that comment section and leave a
comment on your favorite part of the episode.
If you get some more cup content, I mean, what?
You got to ask Jaden. This has been the Cup Boys.
This has been a wonderful session. Thank you,
everyone. Like, subscribe, hit that notification
bell. We'll see you in the next episode. Say
bye, guys. Goodbye. Bye, guys. Bye. Horribly.
Jaden, say bye. You can't see it in the recording,
but he did a little head nod. It was real cool.
Okay, ending the recording now. Bye -bye!