Okay, for a second I thought I pressed start
streaming and I had a mini heart attack. Last
session, you guys took a mission after vowing
to rebel against the Rebellion. You took a mission
from the Rebellion. And that mission led you
to meet Kaleer, who you don't know much about
quite yet, but he offered you guys a place to
set up a bastion. And you guys. It's the same
day. It's the same day. Unless you guys wanted
to sleep there. At all. Or I'll let you guys
take a short rest. Short rest would be. And I
like the only one injured. Is Genesis. So. I'll
let you take a short rest. Well all of you. But
mostly. And you guys. You guys are upstairs,
and Kayleer is making you guys beverages at his
little bar. What do you guys want to do? Bar!
I go downstairs. You what? I go downstairs. Wait.
No. Into the basement? Wait, did you say that
we're upstairs? No. Wait, I'm confused. You guys
are in the same area. Oh! roll 42 what do you
mean that was how much hp i get oh why is why
did why did close just roll at 21 uh performance
check i think uh you you just see you just see
mal in the background doing backflip after black
backflip it up spider boy holy i want to let
it be known i want to let it be known um that
I have had a conversation with my girlfriend
who does watch sessions. Um, and she, there is
in her eyes, uh, perp is playing, uh, Sega, uh,
because Sega Genesis, um, ivory is the one who
invented Spanish or the one who invented Narnia.
And then Mal is just Spider -Man. These are how
you guys portray yourself. Spider -Man pose.
That's what that performance was. What? Wait,
now get a girlfriend. Get a girlfriend. Yeah,
break her back in the literal sense. MJ. What?
Yeah, Juno watched The Amazing Spider -Man literally
yesterday. I watched three Spider -Man movies
yesterday in a row. I've watched literally all
of the Spider -Man movies. Zendaya. I've never
had... I don't watch movies unless I feel an
urge to do it. And so yesterday I just decided
to watch three movies in a row. Oh, I don't...
I don't watch movies full stop, but I have seen
every single Spider -Man movie. Like, The Amazing
Spider -Man, Spider -Man, and Tom Holland's Spider
-Man. So, Andrew Garfield, Tom Holland, and Tobey
Maguire. I am a big fan of Tobey Maguire's. It's
not the same, Juno, but about your urge to watch
movies. I don't kill people typically, but sometimes
I get this really strong urge, and I like, you
know, indulge everyone's love. You know, it's
not part of my daily agenda, but sometimes I
see someone, and it's just like, ugh, you know?
It's on site. Wasn't I gonna be the 22nd writer
of yours? Tee hee. What are you guys doing? What
do you guys wanna do? um can i he's making his
drinks right yeah uh all non -alcoholic because
yeah i'm i'm i'm most i've raised most definitely
21 at the very least i think you guys are all
above the age of 21 now or am i or i have been
or may i have been mistaken Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. Oh, you guys don't really have your
ages in your... I know I've talked to you guys
all about your ages. But I can't remember. Oh,
oh, no, no. Ivory is 19. Ooh. Oh, and then there's
Genesis. I forgot how old... Is Genesis actually
that old, perp? Mm -hmm, mm -hmm. Are we old
shipping? How old is Mal? 22. Oh, yeah. You're
22 and you work at a bar? Worked past that. That's
like one year of making drinks. You have one
year of bar experience. Yeah. What's the legal
drinking age in this world? Alarion? Uh... Well,
it's very different. You guys all grew up in
the country of Mathis. It's just you guys were
all closer... Well, Mal was closer to the ocean.
Actually, in real life, there are some states
that allow you to work as a bartender before
you're old enough to drink. So it's fully valid.
That Mao worked as a bartender even before he
was 21 and then, you know, just... What the fuck?
Excuse my language. What? Why? Hey man, you don't
need to know how it tastes to be good at it.
This is insane. Imagine walking up to a bar and
your bartender is just a 16 -year -old boy. Hey,
can you make me, I don't know, insert something
alcoholic? Yeah, sure. You try it. Oh, this is
good. Oh, I don't know. I've never tried it before.
That's a minor. Minor making alcoholic beverages.
I got M &M. M &M? Did you look up that fact to
wrong me? He did. Mm -hmm. I hate this. Like,
why did you do this to me? We should get back
on track. What type of drinks is he making? Like,
is it like juices or sodas? Well, yours is a
little fruit punch container, little child. Can
I have it? Perp, am I allowed to say how old
you are, or is that something you want to keep
secret? It's five. No, I can't. Okay, I'll let
you, I'll let you let that be known whenever.
Okay, so, um, no, uh, he puts three drinks on
the table. Uh, there is not a, they're all in
cups. Uh, they're all the same. Uh, anyone want
a drink? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Alright. Perp and Oz, do you guys want a drink?
No. What would it be to, like, roll to, like,
if it was poisoned or something like that? You
specifically, I will let you roll a... I'm actually
going to take your passive insight. Passive insight,
I think that would be it. Let me double check.
15, they would not. Yes, it would. Insight is
to determine the intent of someone. Passive would
be if Oz isn't trying, it's just like happening.
In order to determine if something was poison,
it would probably be his intelligence. Yes, but
specifically for Mal, I'm going to take the passive.
Actually, you pick passive insight or perception.
Mal. Oz. You would know if this was poison. I'll
do passive perception. It's the same thing. It's
just... I'll let you use your passive perception
of 15 to... You just, like... Because you've
been a bartender for a couple years. And you
are, you know... That's your whole thing. Just,
like... Being, like... Looking at it at a glance.
You can tell that it's not been poisoned and
it's non -alcoholic. There's nothing in it besides
the drink that it is. I skeptically drink it.
Alright. Is Genesis just not gonna drink it?
It's not gonna. Alright. Let me pull up the thing.
As you drink it, you take 300 million bajillion
quadrillion damage. Not actually. Oh, if I drink
this... If I drink this... If I... My thought
won't make sense. Never mind. Say it. No, this
is an ivory thing if I have to say it. I wouldn't
know. Don't worry about it. Bastard. Um, he's
gonna, uh, Kayleer's gonna look up at, uh, Genesis,
and I can't remember what voice I gave this guy.
Um, are you, are you, are you not gonna drink
any of the, any of it? Genesis just kind of glares.
Wow. Um, as, after you glare, uh, very obviously
not gonna drink it. He grabs your cup and puts
it back. And right as soon as he puts it back,
you see both Mao and Ivory start growing demonic
horns. I draw my sword. What? What? Whoa! You
guys see symbols on the wall that you originally
thought were... Well, I never specified that
they were there. But you see symbols on the wall
before you grow your horns. And you see as those
symbols start making sense to you. As you grow
these horns, you realize that you can speak infernal.
And you also feel... What's the word? You feel
hot. Not in the, ooh, so sexy, so hot. But, like,
temperature -wise, you feel hot. And you read
on the wall, it looks to be a written -out spell.
And... Kayleer looks at Genesis. Are you sure
you don't want a drink? Genesis is holding his
fucking sword out. Hey, nothing's going to happen
to your friends. What did you put in their drink?
Oh, it's just... It's something I like to call...
I don't know the name for it. Yeah, RCTA. But
T is for tiefling. Race change, tiefling another.
No, it's just... Thank you. No, it's just a drink
that lets the person who drinks, it gives them
the ability to speak and fully understand and
comprehend Infernal. And it gives them horns,
just to symbolize the effect, really. It doesn't
really do much. Besides give them a more demonic
feel. It doesn't last forever. But. The reason
I gave it to them. Why I gave it to you guys.
Is along the wall. There are. Inscriptions. Little
messages. Along the side. And. We're going to
skip past the fact. That I forgot that Genesis
already knows Infernal. And. As he's showing
you the inscriptions, you can read it. It's a
spell I have. Not just over this tower, or Tabvern,
but over Emberfell entirely. Any... Mathis soldiers,
and any Mathis, like... Anyone who's part of
Mathis, and anyone who is part of the Rebellion,
cannot see this place. There are ways to get
to the sewers. Very secretive. But they cannot
see us, but we can see them. So we have protection,
in a sense. It's not completely foolproof. I
think that's the word. It's not... Invincible.
I don't have the soundboard on my soundboard
anymore. Insert the invincible intro sound. But
there are ways to get in and to get out without
being able to see. You can't just walk in and
see things. But there are ways. But it doesn't
happen that often. You guys were chosen, in a
sense. That's why, you know, I invited you. The
guy in my basement, he... I have no clue how
he was here. But the reason I gave him the drinks
was so that you guys could see that the spell
is in place and that you guys are safe here if
you decide to stay. And it doesn't just go over
this tavern, it goes over the entire of... Uh...
Um... Umberest, Emberest, Emberest, I got this.
So, if you guys would like to stay, feel free
to, you know, stay. If you guys still want to
leave, and if you don't trust, you guys can leave.
Genesis sheaves his sword and says, the next
time you want to give us a portion, don't fucking
spike our drinks with it. I mean... Be upfront,
be honest, and give us a reason to trust you
or this partnership will end almost immediately.
Alright, I'm sorry. Um, I do, uh, have access
to a potion of sorts that can heal you. I know
you guys, uh, I'm pretty sure one of you guys
mentioned last session looking for healing potions.
So, if you guys want healing potions, I have
access. And I'm cheaper than the other stores.
The other shops. You knew that? You knew where
our last session? Where one of us was mentioning
how we wanted healing potions in the sewer? No,
I'm pretty sure whenever you guys got to the
tavern, someone was like, I think Perp was like,
oh, I wanted healing potions and blah, blah,
blah. They're too expensive, though. Because
he gave you the money. He gave you the money.
Hey, Perp, cut this out in the edit. If this
town symbolizes Mara's loneliness, then it also
signifies Mara is a demon and lets nobody into
her heart. No, you're not good at it. Listen,
it's not about Mata being closed off. That's
what Juno said. Oh, Juno. That was a stinker,
Juno. That was not a good one. You have to be
mean to her. Not analyze her character. You need
to be like... If this town hides from Mathis,
then it kind of represents the fact that her
husband hid from Mathis when he starved to death
under the floorboards. You gotta insult her.
You can't critique her character and analyze
her, you know? This is my notes. You shouldn't
even know about this. I just wanted to make fun
of you. I haven't outed. Anyways. I can't lose.
I'm leaving this bit into the recording. No.
I hope you don't die. Can you blow us up this
session? What? Can you blow us up this session?
Like car crash? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, of course.
Fatal one, please. What? Can we like horse and
carriage? I cast fatal car crash. My favorite
D &D spell. I ain't gained that as a spell. No.
Can we be hit by a horse and carriage instead
of a car? Yeah, you can have car crash as a skill
check. No, no, no. Here, give Juno the stinker
check. The stinker check. Why do you speak such
an ass? Fucking stinker. It feels like a slur
the more you say it. Slur. Fucking stinker. Juno
now has a plus 12 stinker check. No! No, delete
that, delete that, delete that, delete that.
I don't want that. It needs to be a charisma
ability. It is, it is. What have you... Don't
do this! Stop! You know when everyone made jokes
about me controlling your guys' character sheet?
This is how I'm doing it, slowly but surely.
Don't do this to me. Give me a different... Give
me one that doesn't dog on me instantly. Have
a notable bit and maybe you'll get a skill check,
bitch. Oh, wow. So I haven't had a bit this whole
time? Not one? Yeah, man. I got glare and big
bite. What do you have? What do you have? You
have fatal car crash. You have stinker. Yeah.
You're mean. You're mean. I'll give you a Spider
-Man solution. What? This is unfair. Oh, you
have Fatal Car Crash. This is unfair. Why can't
I have something cool? Because you're not. Why
are you guys being mean to me? I quit TST. This
is my official quitting. I quit. No. It's over.
No, you're not allowed to do that. Who do you
think you are, Juno? Who do you think you are?
You are nothing without me. I brought you here.
Do you know who I am? You can't leave. Jojo,
have you learned nothing? Shut up. In the Starlight
Tavern, when you're here, you're family. We're
all family here, Juno. You can't leave family.
This isn't what my family acted like. Your family.
My real family. Anyways. What would you guys
like to do? Were you fucking... Were you gonna
call my... What? Yeah, this is my official second
quitting of TSD. Oh, your second quitting? Yeah,
I'm quitting again. Oh, okay. What would you
guys like to do? Um... I wanna look at... Mal.
Did we notice that the horns grew in our head?
Was there like a sensation when it happened?
Yeah, yeah. It wasn't painful. It wasn't painful
at all. Do our horns look different or do they
look the exact same? They look different. Like
yours are like a grayer because they came out
of your head and then Mal's are like black horns
because they came out of Mal's head. Are Mal's
horns fuzzy? Mal's horns are in fact fuzzy. Can
I grip him? Can I grip him? I take off my hand.
Ivory's horns rock. Like, crystal and rock. They're
like the... They're crystals. They're not rock.
So, everything else about Ivory is rock except
for the crystal horns. Does that mean your bones
are crystals and does that mean your bones are
furry? No. Well, they're not... No, they're not
the bones. These horns aren't the bones. They
came via the potion, so it's just, like, part
of their body just, like, stretched out. So part
of... Can I grip Mal's horns? Can I, like, take
one hand? What? It's live in public? Can I grab
his horns? Anyways, what would you guys like
to do? Quit TSU. Sorry, that's not in our budget.
Oh. Well, if I remember correctly, you were forcing
your hands on the map and touching it. So, go
on. What do you do next? I love bullying people.
it's my favorite activity oh my god you know
left maybe guys play dungeons and dragons what
would you guys like to do can i look isn't there
symbols around the room yeah there are can i
read them but not speak them out loud oh they
don't make any sense they're just like a bunch
of words that are written on the wall that is
the spell Do you speak when you talk? So he...
So the point of the potion was to show us that
it was infernal. Wait, can't we read infernal?
What was the point of the potion? Yeah, what
is this point of this potion? I can't read the
symbols. No, no, because you can you can read
it, but it isn't saying anything like it isn't
like I I kind of envisioned where it was like
fucking symbols that like explain something or
a story and it like happened to double as a spell,
but he just gave us a potion so we can see that
like force field is written on the wall a couple
times and there's like Infernal like you could
have just said that like what? The point of the
potions is that I get sick -ass warts, and we
can cut them off my head and sell them. He spiked
our drinks so that we can read two words. Fine.
It says, by flame and shadow, root and rain,
let hostile hearts see nothing but plain. Those
who march with tyrant's breath shall walk this
path to nothing but Death. Let eyes go blind.
Let minds go dull. Where fire is warm and tankards
are full. So long as songs stay. Let war be turned
away. That's what it says around the tavern.
There we go. Thank you to my improv. Thank you
to my improv. Clap, clap, clap, clap. Runic writing
seemed to reference some Shadow the Hedgehog.
Maybe a figure from ancient times. We need to
learn more about them. It's my favorite Larian
god. Sonic and Shadow the Hedgehogs. We're gonna
get nothing done. We're gonna stay in this tavern
for an hour. I think you're underestimating the
importance of Shadow the Hedgehog in the Starlight
Tavern universe. You are very underestimating.
I mean... So there's a story that I wrote about
Ronestart and the other one that I can't remember.
Mickey Mouse was a vital character to Turtle
Sun. This is not that much different. Yeah, no.
Mickey Mouse was like in every... I think Mickey
Mouse was in more sessions than I was. And that's
saying something. What? Yeah. I wish that was
a joke. Mickey Mouse was pretty much in every
single Eternal Sun session. There was like four.
I want to leave. No, I don't want to leave. What
do we do in this session? That's for you guys
to decide. You should have fed Giants like a
little baby. I mean, Oz pointed out a couple
times off recording. That, like, the only lead
that you guys have is the compass? If that's
what you guys want to follow? I don't like Oz
getting credit for that. That was me. I don't
like Oz getting credit for that. I, like, brought
that up in conversation with Oz, and then Oz,
like, brought it up to you. That was me. I wasn't
there when you said it, so I don't know if I
believe you. Compass, compass, compass. That's
amazing. I did that. So what do you guys want
to do? Compass. Also, wait, are you guys agreeing
to take this place as your bastion? Let's make
a pros and cons list. Yeah, that sounds like
the best thing to do here. Uh, that's a con.
Did you just call him water? I don't remember
her name. Meta? Martha? Martha? No. Martha? Martha
Wayne? Uh, Mara. Mara's illiterate. So we can't
trust her to read. Is that a pro? Mara's illiterate?
What? Yeah, she's the leader. She doesn't know
how to read, so I don't think we trust her because
she's illiterate. Wait, how is she illiterate?
Where did that come from? Mara's always been
illiterate. You haven't been keeping up. It just
came up. What? She acts illiterate because she
acts like she hasn't ever read any self -help
books and learns how to get better. Oh my lord.
So, she's illiterate. That's a con. Okay, the
pros and cons list is if you guys take this as
your bastion, not the rebellion. Oh! We got drugged.
That's a con. But I got sick ass horns. So that's
a pro. This guy regularly jumped. That's a con.
But we killed the guy. And we got free shit.
So that's a pro. This is all kind of equaling
out right now. He has a series of wards that
will hold away most Mathis soldiers. So that's
a pro. But someone still found their way in here.
Meaning there must be some way to get around
it. That's a con. Maybe he's hacking. I mean,
also, he has the connection to the sewer. That's
like free trading right there to the merchants
down there. That's a pro, but also a con is that
it seems like both the Rebellion and both the
Mathis army know about this guy and don't like
him. because matthew sent a guy to hide in his
basement that we fought and then the rebellion
son is here and he was like are you from the
rebellion it was gonna stab us oh maybe yeah
but mars is she ever gonna do anything besides
whatever she does i don't know what she does
not this part what are you Are you okay? Ivory,
did you take something? I think what Juno is
saying is that Mara isn't going to do anything
to do much. You know? Isn't going to do anything
to do much. I get what you mean, but holy guacamole.
What you mean is that Mara isn't going to actually
take any steps to make the rebellion happen to
further their goal. Mara's too complacent. So
like, yeah, that's a pro that with this guy,
he seems to at least be a little more proactive
and we wouldn't have to work under Mara. But
that's more of like a con about the rebellion
than it is a pro about this place because we
can settle down wherever if we leave the rebellion.
Oh, free alcohol. You're 19. How would these
people know? Do I look 19? I look 12. I mean,
21. The collection to sewer is a pro, not a con.
Yeah, I mean, okay. Because we can trade and
have interaction with them, and you told us last
session that they didn't necessarily know where
it was. I'd also like to say that if we do get
more people on our side about the anti -rebellion,
rebellion against the rebellion, there aren't
buildings here. So we can make it look like there's
a start here. Oh, we get to see the sun! What?
Oh my gosh, you get to see the eternal sun. Mara
never gets to see the sun because she's stuck
in that sewer all day. You can, like, point and
laugh at her. I mean, I guess the fact she doesn't
see the sun a lot is really indicative of the
way light has left her life when her husband
finally died and the rest of her family left
her. Maybe that's why she lives under there like
a fucking mutant turtle or something. She lives
in the sewers because she's living under a rock
to avoid the fact that her kid doesn't love her
anymore. Maybe she's living in the sewers because
living under the city brings her closer to the
way her husband violently fucking starved to
death. God, we really hate this woman. Yes, we
don't and that's the problem. She's like, all
right. It's just really funny to make these podcast
jokes. Yeah, we're gonna see this time she doesn't.
I think that's Totopo. Oh, and we also gotta
get away from her. She's a fucking loser. She
brings death to people all around her. You notice
that? Everyone around her dies. Well, her son
laughed at her. This woman has no family because
all who love her violently meet their end in
an unfortunate and somber way. Ha ha ha, pointed
laugh. Do you think that's why she lives in the
sewer so that she doesn't, like, talk to people
at all? She hides in her own small sewer to avoid
the connections that will eventually lead to
their violent deaths. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Also,
she's fucking ugly. That's not funny. That's
just... I'm sorry. I took it too far. God! I
was coming in with the, so, gods, let's move
on. Yeah, I think these are all, I think we have
a lot of pros, like getting away from The mutant.
So I think we... I think we... I think we stay
the bashed even though we're gonna get jumped
like 80 times. That's a lot of prog skills. Free
alcohol. Stay away from the sun woman. Sunless
woman. Unless someone has any objections, I'm
down to go with whatever I agree with. Stay away
from the literate. Yes! I forgot to put... Khan,
she's illiterate. Thank you. She's never read
Sun Tzu's Art of War books. That's why she's
phallic. I think you also forgot Khan. She's
ugly as hell. Where are we writing this Khan
at? In the no mic. It's like... Wait, I like
to imagine that any character were like writing
this on a whiteboard and there's like a bunch
of pros about what we can potentially do with
this at the end of the content. Like Mars fucking
ugly. God, I fucking hate her. That's why her
whole family's dead. Fuck this bitch. Just like
the most like hate -fueled rant completely unrelated
to the past show. I have a question for the guy.
How long do these boards last for? Uh, six hours.
What if... perchance and what if this does happen
what if i cut them off my head oh you would bleed
out and die pretty quick there's blood in the
it's not their bone it's not like a normal horn
it's a if you want real horns i can get you real
horns but no matter what if you cut off your
horse it's not gonna be fun what is what what's
what wait Why do... What? My... My... My horns.
What? Are these skin? Okay, I think I understand.
I think I understand. Grab onto your arm and
pull on it. Like, fucking... Fucking lift your
skin. That's how it works. It, like, protrudes
your own body, like, your skin up into the shape
of a horn. Can I dislocate my arm? So it's like,
if you were to cut it off, when it went back
to normal, there would just be a hole. Like,
two holes on your head. From where you, like,
ripped that part of your body off. So it's like,
you would... Yeah. Oh, so, like, Mara... Like,
there's holes in her heart. Because, like, she
lost her family and shit. And she's a loner.
And she's a fucking loser. Oh! My! Gosh! Oh,
excuse my language. I'm sorry. I mean, if you
want... Permanent horns, I can give you permanent
horns. But, like... Yet again, if you cut him
off, you will be in a lot of pain for the rest
of your life. Like Mara? Yes, like Mara. Now
she coughed, her dead lover. I'm gonna be real.
The bed is getting cold. Kind of like how her
husband grew old directly under those floorboards
as he begged and pleaded to see his family again
and be happy once more and she just told him
that she'd be back and he just starved and died
down there. We're terrible people. We are terrible
people. You guys want me to be honest with you
for this partnership? You know, Mara, Solren,
they were lovers. I worked under Solren's command.
I was his apprentice. And I lived with them.
So that's probably why she doesn't like me. She
blames me for the death of her husband. I'm pretty
sure she thinks that her kid lives with me, but
I haven't seen him in so long. But either way.
Can you imagine being Mara? Like, your husband
had an apprentice, and, um, like an older apprentice,
the one that you probably had a relationship,
and then you, and then also that said apprentice
probably was living, could have lived with your
son, from her thought. and could have also grown
a close relationship with her fucking son and
out of jealousy and out of spite the fact that
she never had a relation she doesn't have a relation
like that with her husband her dead husband she
left him and her son because he left her can
you imagine that you sent three random strangers
to fucking jump him in a dead town where he's
completely alone and already dying out on the
floorboards This is why her fucking family left
her. Also, while you guys were talking, you said
something about the rebellion probably knowing
where I am. They don't. The reason why you guys
were sent here was because if you were to look
into the forest on the other side of mine, you
will see a real other tavern. Except that tavern,
anyone who walks in it is attacked by poisonous
gas directly into their lungs and a spike trap
under the doormat. I don't, I don't, I think,
I mean, I can only assume she sent you there
to find me. I only set up that like a couple
days ago. Oh. Because she kept sending people
there. And, like, that's where I keep all my,
like, storage and stuff. Well, kept all my storage
and stuff. Um. But, you know. What do you have
in your storage? Oh, I have, um, food, drinks.
This is out of character, but do you guys think
that Mara also has an alcohol addiction? You
think she's an alcoholic? Wait, add that to the
cons. No. Dang it. I would rather not with that
one. Alright. It's okay. But if - I don't - Can
I real check Insight? Is he lying? About what
he has in there? Because there's no way that
Mario would just keep sending people just for
food, drinks, and water. It's still for my random
fucking dude, right? I mean, if you want all
insight, you can. Okay. Your passive insight's
17. I just saw that. It is. It is. I got an 11,
I think. It hasn't showed up yet. Yep. With an
11, you don't think he's lying. Ah. I think...
Has Mara ever been? Is there like any... Emotional?
What do you mean? It's like any emotional reason.
Has she been there? Lived there? Um... I mean,
I can only assume she's looking for me. How does
she know you're here, but not know you're here?
Or... I have so much of an idea that you hear.
Well, I've written to her a couple times. I've
not gotten anything back. Except for once. When
she blamed me for the death of her husband. And
the loss of her kid. But... Don't know why she
keeps sending people here. But yet again. I can
only assume that. But. She doesn't know where
I am. But she thinks she knows. And I mean. If
she wants to send people into a death trap. She
can do whatever she wants. After what happened
at Sanctuary. I don't. I don't want to associate
with her. So. If you send her, if you keep sending
her these letters, and now you set up a death
trap, will she not just know that someone, if
not you, is here? Well, the death trap's at the
other tavern. She can't see this place. Okay.
I think those are all my questions I have. That
I could think of. Good. Yeah. Genesis, whip out
your compass. Genesis, whip it out. Do you take
out the compass? I whip it out. Okay. I'm just
going to say you whip out the compass. But, uh,
you guys, you guys, uh, looking at this compass,
you see that it is made of, like, coral. Uh,
and there is some, uh, there's some rock. Uh,
it looks ocean -like. And, like I've specified
before, it is not pointing north. It's not looking
north? Not pointing north. Would I know where
north is? Roll me a survival check. Okay. Actually,
that was going to be a bit that I was going to
do on perp, but I decided not to. Oh. You still
want me to roll survival? Yeah, roll survival.
I'm going to... Oh, dang, I was so close to getting
a nat 1. What? Yeah, I was really close to getting
a nat 1. With a 29, you do know where north is,
and it is not pointing north. Perp, with Genesis's
very masculine manly compass, can you roll me
a survival check? Can I roll what? Can you roll
me a survival check? Why? Just so that, you know,
using your manly compass, your internal manly
compass. What? Just roll. Okay. You also know
that it's not pointing north. But, like, there's
some confusion in the air. What direction is
it pointing? East. Do I think it's... Can we
have Mal roll that, too? Mal, can you roll me
a survival check? Ah, God. You've got to be kidding
me. D &D Beyond? Okay, hold on. Have you not
had it open this whole time? No, my wife and
I just crashed. D &D Beyond just crashed with
it. How dare you. 17. You know where North is
with less confusion. Ah, yes. All three of you
guys know your cardinal directions. Guys! Go
outside the door. Outside the door? Oh. So Juno
goes outside the door. Genesis goes inside the
door. What you thinking, big guy? Genesis pulls
out the map. Oh. And he is going to find where
we are and look at what's east to us. Guys, look
at the - look at the - the screen share. Woah!
Um... Wow! Is that the reaction you wanted? No...
Uh, you guys are - we're gonna - we're gonna
do - we're gonna do a blue - blue dot. We're
gonna do a blue dot, really. That's just - that's
just a blue screen. That's just a blue screen.
The blue screen! That's a blue screen, not a
blue dot. I think you - I think you have your
shapes mixed up. Where are we? you guys would
be like around around like here right all right
right uh no no no i'm wrong you guys would be
up here um it's more pointing like over here
directly like this way rather than just straight
north or east it's going like a little bit northeast
so you guys this direction What do you mean this
direction? This direction. Okay, so northeast.
But closer to east than north. Okay. What are
points of interest in that trajectory that it
could be pointing at? River. The map is more
detailed. I'm actually looking at places in math
rather than structures and geography. Here, let
me pull up... Okay, so you guys are at the Kingdom
of Mathis. On the way there, uh, in the path,
there is straight up only one, like, city, and
that is one with way too many cons, or way too
many nouns, or, no, what are they called? A -E
-I -O -U. Those ones. Vowels. Yeah. Um, Vilsala.
That is the only major city, uh, you know it
is home to a lot of like shops it is a primarily
like shop trade sort of town what about minor
cities uh minor cities these would be messages
right here so um uh the only other like the only
minor city on that in that direction would be
villa Which is a major hunting city. Do you think
they hunt for spiders? You weren't here. You're
outside. You're gone. You died already. They're
closer to the ocean. They fish. And they hunt
primarily... They primarily hunt like... They
fish? For real, for real? Fish don't belong on
land. I'm about to be expected a fish person.
They should be fish. They should be fish. For
real, for real? I hate you. But you know that
they hunt, like, major sea beasts. Like, their
one import is, like, sea leviathans and stuff.
Like, the kraken. Oh, the kraken. Cthulhu. Did
they hunt the Kraken? No. Did they hunt the Kraken
and pollute the waters? No. Okay. Not the Kraken!
Can you say that it might be the Kraken so that
the thumbnail of the video can be the Kraken
with a bunch of red circles and arrows pointing
towards it? No. Um, Perp, can you roll me a history
check? No. What if I don't want to know what
you want to tell me? I mean, you don't have to
know. Then I won't know. You're the only one
that would know and it's another major point
in that direction. Well, then I guess I won't
know. Alright. Can I roll an extra check? No.
No? No, you rolled a 5. I rolled a natural 20.
Yeah, you're not really getting anywhere with
a 5. No, I don't know. No, you gotta massage
his brain. Yes and no. Wait. I'm gonna grab onto
Ivory's horns. And I'm gonna rip him off. Uh,
every guy's. Alright, let's move out. We gotta
go to this compasses. Oh! Um, do you guys, so,
I'm gonna give you, uh, no. Yeah, I'm gonna give
you an option. You can walk the hallway, or you
can look for right outside of a gate. Of the
city of Mathis. There is a stable. Where. You
can hire someone. To bring you. From one place.
To another. Like a taxi cab. No. Like a car.
I'll just sit. It's like a horse. Let's do a
snitch. Fatal car crash. I mean. I mean. Yeah.
No. We. In my opinion. We shouldn't. Because
our faces. Are literally. Like. Down. Oh, yeah,
never mind. Yeah. Um, even though, like, it'd
be, like, really good and be much faster, but
our, like, faces are, like, no, like, widespread.
Um, even though, like, even though it's less
efficient, we'd probably be better to walk unless
we, like, somehow make it past with disguises.
It'd be crazy because no one here most definitely
does have a costume. But... Alright. So, do you
guys want to... Just follow the arrow to that
first major city and then rest there. Is the
small city closer? No, the bigger city's closer.
Small city's by the water. The big city is a
whole day of walking. Oh. Like a whole 24 hours?
Or like 12 hours? It's closer to like 18, but
it's like you guys are going to need to rest.
By the time you get there, it will be... Big
city then. Yeah, like I said, that's a day of
travel. Trevor. A day of Trevor. Where is he?
He's there. I mean, it would be faster to get
a carriage, right? Another thing? Mara. are we
gonna tell her about if we finish the quest because
do you think she's not trusted anymore or like
something if you just left her or whatever do
you think do you think she'll get reminded of
the fact that her family left her i think she'll
get really scared i think that mara has plenty
of experience with those she cares for leaving
her so i don't think she'll think twice about
us all right yeah we should leave then Yeah,
I won't let me walk. But before we go, let me
make sure. I'm going to cast a spell on Mara.
Plague of Locusts. Mara's going to be plagued
by locusts. Oh, really? I thought that she was
going to get plagued by someone else there. Like
bugs? Yeah, like locusts. Instead of being plagued,
they just go somewhat close to her and start
making their noise just to annoy her. But she
can never find them. That's awesome. Can I cast
jump on Genesis? Of course. I jump. Wait, do
you? You jump? Yeah, you kill yourself. Alright,
so do you guys just head out? Yeah. Alright.
I'm already outside. Um, Perp and Oz. You don't
have to ask me all the time. If I don't say anything,
it's because I'm following the group. Yeah, I'm
also just mostly following. I'll say something
if I'm, like, not. Like, if I'm doing something
else. Yes, I'm sorry. Okay. Yes, I'm going with
Juno. I'm following Juno. I don't know how to
read. What did I just say? Herb? Hi, Herb. I'm
not going to follow Juno. I'm not going to follow
Ivory or Mouth. Herb, what's your favorite color?
I'm going to go to... You're the one with the
compass, so they would be following you. Yeah,
no, they'll go get the compass. I'm going to
take the compass, and I'm going to go into the
hatch that leads to the rebellion. The rebellion?
Okay, you go to the rebellion. What do you do?
All right, I'm going to go tomorrow. Okay, you
go tomorrow. What do you do? Okay, roll initiative.
Okay. Is she rolling nat 20? I'm going to kill
you like your husband died in that Stafford attack.
She's going to cast a spell on you. She can.
She's dead. She won't be seeing her husband anytime
soon, yet they're both dead. I locked her under
the floorboards of the sewer system. I just want
to let you guys know that session ended in 20
minutes. In this whole session, we've been fucking
around and doing dumb shit. We've done nothing.
Take 59 damage as she hits you with the spell.
Are we just going to cut this whole fucking session?
This is literally two hours of us doing dumb
shit. Anyways, so... I've got a couple descriptions
to read because I like reading descriptions.
Do you know how to read? Yeah, I'm not Mara.
See, the reason why Mara doesn't... I have a
question. I have a question. That 59 damage,
is that real? Is that really something Mara can
do? Yeah. So you made Mara a strong character?
Yeah. So Mara could do things on her own? Like,
go ahead and... No, no, that's not a spell. I
just rolled, like, two d6s, like, five times.
Until it was a good amount of damage. Uh -oh.
Can I do that much damage? Uh, yeah, yeah. If
you roll two d6s enough times, yeah. Anyways,
as you guys weave Ember Rest, the horizon yawns
wide and gray. The charred trees stretch like
bony fingers, boner, towards the sky. The air
holds memories of war and flame and fire and
other war -related stuff. It's not fresh, but
lingering like regret. Cracked stone crunch with
wood. Do I have to cut that out? Why did he say
that? Boner? Why did you do that? Is that something
I have to cut out? Yeah, yeah, it is. Why did
he say that? Why did he do that? Lingering like
old regret. such as Mara regretfully not going
back to her husband. Cracked stones crunch beneath
your boot, and every mile walked away from Emberrest
feels like walking deeper into a land that forgot
how to dream. And that is you walking through
Emberrest, leaving. And then you make it to the
fields of... I make names, but I don't want to
pronounce them. Eredar. Their golden fields,
once filled with wheat, now stand still and brittle.
Scarecrows, long abandoned, rot in the wind,
draped in scraps of clothes from decorated Mathis
war vets that have once passed. In the distance,
a watchtower looms like a needle in the Earth's
skin. But not Earth, Alarion. unmanned, perhaps,
or pretending to be. Somewhere, a crow cries,
and you wonder if it's warning you, or following
you. Is there anything that you guys would like
to do here, or are you just going to walk along?
This is not where the compass is pointing you,
it is still pointing east. I want to keep walking.
Is there anything around us? Is there what? Is
there anything around us where we are right now?
Um, there is the watchtower that looks pretty
empty, pretty abandoned. Oh. I do want to do
something. What would you like to do? Can I run
insight on the scarecrows? What are you trying
to insight? There's a very odd thing that I feel
like is about to happen. I feel like they might
be... No, I wanna roll Arcana. Never mind. This
is a thing. I wanna roll Arcana. I wanna see
if there's magic in these scarecrows. 25! Um,
no. They're like grapes. Okay. Okay. It's like
the whole crow thing and the dead bodies. I was
like, oh yeah, they're gonna come back to life
and start stabbing us. Maybe. But no, no they're
not. Anything else you guys would like to do,
or is that it? Can I get a custom skill? What
skill? Avery Louise, like, a lot, right? Because
she's like a rock and shit. Can I give her a
skill called Crush, and I just jump on someone
and I just fucking... Your big bit is that you're
fat as fuck. Yes, you're only redeeming... Your
only useful quality is that you're just extremely
obese. Spider -Man, the guy who glares, and the
fattest fucking person in the world. Jeez, Mal,
how would you roll such high damage? What? You
rolled such high damage. You rolled 2 ,174 damage.
When the hell did I roll this? I did. I rolled
it because I got bored. I rolled a Spider -Man
check. If you want to add that, you can add that
to yourself. What's my plus? It would be your
strength. Yeah, but can I add a plus? Plus four.
For also being obese. Sure, yeah. Plus, plus.
How much do you weigh? 300? plus 300 pounds uh
so typically i'd assume i'm assuming her anatomy
like based on her race she's like completely
rocked through and through right yep or she like
also blood okay so that would weigh her in about
like if i'm right like 800 pounds 800 like 700
800 that's based on no wait let me actually might
be less maybe that has to be there are 400 So,
while you're doing that, am I free to, like,
describe the next parts? Okay. Yeah, of course,
of course. You get through the fields of Eredar,
and you get to the Veil Grove, which is a very
haunted forest trail. Roll the dice. You're safe.
You step beneath the canopy of the Veil Grove,
where the light dies quietly beneath silvered
leaves. The trees whisper, not words, but rhythms,
like wind through hollow bones. Moss clings to
everything, as if the forest tries to pull you
back. Locals say the grove remembers trespassers.
And as you hear the crows above, you start to
believe them. Anything you guys want to do here?
Is there, like, any objects? What? any objects
nearby sorry i'm like somewhat but i also want
to okay sorry i'm like i want to also engage
in this also while i do this um are we still
by the washer you said we moved right by the
way washer yeah you know you guys are gone okay
uh keep walking then i guess Can I roll a perception?
Yeah. If there's anything creepy following us.
Yeah, you can. That's a natural one. So, in fact,
you've never seen anything ever. I'm blind, guys.
You did roll a nat 1, but that's not an automatic
fail. You got a plus 5. So, I'll say you... Uh,
you don't know if anything's following you, but
you do feel, like, in a sense, you feel something
slightly. Perp's rolling all of his checks. Literally
all of them. Okay, so are you guys passing through?
Are you guys doing anything? I'll pass through,
I guess. Genesis is doing everything that he
physically can right now. I'll hop on that train
too, Genesis. You guys get to the Shattermere
Crossing. It is a glassy lake with rumors that
surround it. The waters of Shattermere glisten
like obsidian. The surface is still. Too still.
As your footsteps echo on crumbling, what are
they called? Trails. You glimpse pale shapes
beneath the water. Fish, maybe. Or something
older. The silence here is thick. Sacred and
cruel. There was commas that I wrote, and I read
them as periods because I can't see. No one speaks
until it's behind them. Anything you guys would
like to do? No. No. I'm right. If I'm 100 % right,
after you're doing this for 18 minutes, if math
is right, her weight, by cubic foot, up and down,
she should be around 600 pounds. 600? Yeah, around
600. Yikes. She's rock. And finally, you guys
arrive on the edge of civilization. You have
the first sight of Vilsala. As you go above on
top of the hill, you hear Juno's loud footsteps.
Breaking everything in path. You see Vilsala,
a city of secrets. It rises like a spire from
the bone of the land, surrounded by wooden walls
and smokestacks that breathe a pollution into
the sky. I forgot the word. Lanterns glimmer
along the outer roads like scattered stars. You
feel the weight of what you carry. And the gravity
of what you are looking for. Who would know the
most about Mathis? I would like to say Genesis.
Probably. Do you want to roll me a history check
really quick? Just to get a... Alright. You got
this. That is A2. Okay. Do you guys want to go
inside of the city? Yeah, why wouldn't we? Sure.
No. What do you mean, no? Don't they have our
faces? From that... Remember, like, session four
or something? Who has our... The guards of Mathurst.
They also think it's just... Is the compass still
pointing into the city? It's pointing through
the city. You don't know... Well, I mean, not
through, but it's, like, pointing directly at
the city. And it's rather in the city or through
the city. This is lame. Okay. Oh, we go in. Can
we... No, no, no, no, no, no. Ivory, what do
you want to do? I don't want to do anything.
You don't want to do anything? Okay, we lay on
the floor and we go to bed there. Why are you
being mean? No, no, no, no, no, no. Because I
understand. I understand wanting to be careful
about this city because we have wanted posters.
But you aren't going, let's put on disguises.
You aren't offering a solution. You're like,
let's not go in. I know. No! That's not what
I - I was looking - I was going to look through
my inventory to see if I had anything that we
could disguise ourselves with but you're being
mean to me. You deserve to be mean to - mean
- mean - You deserve - You need to be mean. You're
being unnecessarily mean to me today and I don't
think I like that. I'm never watching Spider
-Man with you ever again. Actually, I'm going
bald. No! No! No! No! No! I'd like to imagine
this entire session of you two just arguing in
the background while I've been just sitting on
the floor just staring at you two. There's like
- He's like fucking staring there - He's like
- He's fully zoned out. There's like fucking
- Like he's really out of it. Uh, that - Do you
guys want to wear disguises? Do I look - Like
I'm bald? Just cut off your hair? Like a ninja?
No, no, I have a bald cap. But I actually look
bald. It's really convincing. Okay, you're wearing
a bald cap. Is Genesis or Mal wearing any disguises?
I don't even know if I have a disguise. I do
not. Oh. Genesis, are you wearing a disguise?
No. No? This is really unfortunate. There's just
Ivory who has a bald cap, and then there's the
two of you who are just normal. Oh, can I look
like Lex Luthor? I have a suit, too. No. I don't...
No! I think that it... Actually, sure. Yeah.
Sure. Yes. Yes. Yes. Talon appears out of nowhere.
Who's Lex Luthor? Is he in Narnia? Does he speak
Spanish? So Narnia, right? Yeah. And then there's
a subsection of Narnia called Marvel. Okay. Yeah,
yeah. Lex Luthor's in the Marvel subsection of
Narnia. That's good to hear. That's good to hear.
And he disappears. What the fuck was that? So
crazy. That's the sound of the wind, yeah. Uh,
no. Um. So do you guys go in the city? What do
you guys want to do? I mean, we're going through
the city, right? We need to go through. Yeah,
no, let's go into the city. Yeah, I want to go
into the city. We've been walking for a while.
You've been walking for like two days, bro. I
don't remember what I said last session, how
long it would take, but we'll say two days. I'm
a sex looter. Hooray. So what do you guys want
to do? Do you want to find a tavern? Do you want
to rest? Do you want to go shopping? Do you want
to go get drunk at a bar? Go rest. I feel like
my legs are going to be broken by now. Oh yeah.
Here is where I introduce a very fun mechanic
for me specifically. Let me roll this wonderful
dice. So do you guys want to go to a tavern?
So do you want to get rest? Do you want to go
to an inn slash tavern area? What time is it?
Like, is it midday? It's like almost night. Like,
the sun is starting to set. Uh, yeah, tavern
then, I guess. Alright. Um, this is my favorite
part of everything. you see down the street of
the main road, you see a road that turns. So
it's like a four -way road. And one of the four
ways is blocked off by a building that doesn't
look like it's supposed to be there. And looking
at it, it has a huge neon sign, which you guys
have never seen. ever seen anything like it before
uh it looks like it doesn't belong whatsoever
uh and the the the sign looks like it's made
to call like it feels like it's calling you guys
specifically and it says it just says the word
tavern and it looks like it's just like loosely
taped to the building what an elegant looking
sign elegant tavern Genesis looks at the neon
lights and he starts drooling. Is that a check
you can make? Can you make a slobber check? Yeah,
let me slobber. Are you really going to make
me make an entirely new skill? No, no, no. No,
it's too late. No, it's too late. We've never
seen neon signs or anything, right? It's very
clearly out of place. Yes. And everyone is walking
past it. And can someone make a perception check?
Any of you. Whoever. You guys can decide who.
I have a plus 5 in perception. I also have a
plus 5. I have a plus 3. Which one of you would
most likely be paying more attention to it? I
would. I'm picking Genesis. Are you guys going
to let Genesis roll? A battle train. Nah, I got
this. I got this. A battle train. Who wins these?
Five. You see... Two plus three. You see a wall.
Wall. Anything else? Nope. Alright, what do you
guys want to do? I guess we're walking to the
tavern. Do you all agree that this is what you
guys would like to do? Yeah, I mean, if there's
a bright neon sign that we don't recognize, and
we've never seen before, I feel like that would
grab our attention if we need someone to say
that. I think that's where we'll go. Really good,
yeah. Alright. So, uh, who wants to walk in first?
I could do it. Alright. Can I walk in first?
Yeah. Um, like I said, this is my favorite part.
This is my favorite mechanic in the entirety
of the Starlight Tavern, not just in Alerion
specifically. As you walk in the tavern, you
feel a sort of astral energy. It feels celestial,
and you feel like you're taken out of Alerion.
And you look behind you, and you see everything
outside the door behind you doesn't exist. It
looks like you're floating within a void. and
the bartender, the tavern keeper, looks over
at you. Hi, welcome to the Starlight Tavern!
And it's just Nova Spire. The world exploded!
The world is gone! That is going to be a... 24
to hit? Uh, it does not hit. Fuck! You see as
he... What did you do? Greatsword? You see as
he grabs your greatsword and pries it out of
your hand. Hey, we don't really condone violence
here, man. Sorry. I kill him to up a spire. He
snaps and you die. If we kill this NPC in the
game, do you die in real life? Yeah, yeah. But
he's going to look at you. So, uh... You guys
want a drink? Uh, quick question. Is this lore
accurate? Do you have goop on your head? Do I
have goop on my head? Yeah, is this lore accurate?
What do you mean, goop? Is this lore accurate?
If we're tying your life in a session in real
life, is there goop? No, there's not goop on
my head. Okay. Um... Can I shut my head out the
door? Should we hand out the door? Yeah, because
it's, like, completely black. Is there, like...
Um, yeah, your hand... You actually slowly start
to fade. Like, your bones start, uh, just turning
to dust. Oh, wait, wait, you want to take my
hand? No, uh, your hand just disappears. But
as you pull it back in... You realize that it's
just like portable. Do you guys want a potion?
Or a drink? Or whatever? Can I have a bomb? A
what? A bomb? A bomb? Yeah. I don't have bombs.
Okay, second best thing. Do you have a sewing
kit? I don't have one of those either. Sorry.
Yeah. Do you have a feet? Can I buy a feet from
you? Can I get a feet? Yeah, I have two feet.
And he points down at his feet. I cut off his
legs. He dodges. I really thought that would
work. He actually leans in into your ear. Hey.
I go, like, gross. Mal, you talk to this guy.
I was about to - You're the bartender. We're
in a tavern. Walk in. Yeah, so, um, sir, can
you tell me how much a room costs? Because we're
trying to - room to sleep i mean do you want
to pay or do you want to gamble you'd rather
what i'd rather pay well if you gamble it's free
and it doesn't like no money okay what do i lose
though oh uh i don't know you might lose Some
health. You might lose an eye. But you could
also gain some godly powers. I mean, it's just
a... Like I said, it's a bit of a gamble. Yeah,
I don't think I mess with that type of stuff.
I'll rather just pay the chance of me winning.
Then it would be 425 gold ingots. Or, I mean,
gold coins or whatever. It's not Minecraft. It's
also Elarion. uh so not even gold 520 whatever
i said solaris coins i turn to look at the group
and go guys 500 gold for one room is insane I
mean, um, well, this is a very, wait, I, what
if we just gamble? So what if we gamble? What
if I can gamble? I want to gamble. Like you could
put, like he said, it could be anything. What
if like you lose your life here? I mean, the
last group who got here got a free wish from
a genie. Um, and they grew shrooms in their basement.
No one got hurt. Listen, right. High risk, high
reward, I've been telling you guys from the beginning.
When? Being too passive fucks everyone up. Nothing
changes. Sometimes you have to take a bit of
a risk. You know, this entire time you thought
I was really passionate about winning the Rebellion,
but in reality I'm just a gambling addict. I'd
like to gamble. I mean, you can gamble yourself,
man. I don't mess with that shit. Can I? What
do you want from me? What do you want me to get?
What am I getting? Roll me a... Actually, no.
Pick a number 1 through 75. 1 through 75, guys.
What number? Do you know what's your lucky number?
I like the number 14. I like the number 19. 14.
We're going to say 14. 14. We all agree 14. 14.
We're all 14. We all die. I do the fantastic
4 -4 sign. Yep. Genesis, because he offers. Alright.
He hands Genesis. He starts counting the shelves
behind him. He presses a button. and one of the
potions floats off the shelf into his hand. He
hands it to you. Drink up. Do you have a straw?
Yeah, yeah. He pulls out, like, an obnoxiously,
like, three -foot -long straw. Okay, I put the
straw in the drink, and then I take, like, ten
steps back so that I can reach the other end
of the straw, and then I drink from across the
room. All right. Do you drink the whole thing
or just some of it? Yeah, I'll take it. You feel
fine. You feel normal. But you feel lighter.
I don't know if I need to gamble more. He looks
at you. Can you jump? All right. But I'll warn
you, I did basketball in college, so I'll probably
go pretty high up. I jump. You jump two feet
off the ground, but you start, like, floating.
You got the float potion. It's not bad. It's
actually, like, it's actually sadly small. Like,
I jump literally, like, five centimeters. Like,
I do a little hop. I don't know what a centimeter
is. You have to convert that. Sorry, I'm American.
Yep. What? Uh, what is a centimeter? How many
centimeters did you jump? Uh, I'm pretty sure
it was point zero... zero... Oh, I know what
it is, I know what it is. Zero five meters? No,
that was a joke. Um, any... Imagine a football
field. Imagine a whole football field. Imagine
a burger. Oh, a burger. I have to run. Imagine
running 127 ,000 studs for a burger. Now imagine
two of those studs. That's like about a centimeter.
Explaining centimeters to an American in Roblox
terms. Anyway, yes, yes. Anyone else want to
gamble? See, that was fun. Oh, can I gamble?
Yeah. Can you, uh, for me, don't pick the same
number that he picked, but can you pick a number
1 through... What? 95. Actually, pick a number
1 through 100. Oh. 100. 100? Yeah. Oh god, I
have to scroll down. Yeah Juno, why'd you pick
100? Now he has to scroll up. Oh, I didn't mean
to. It just happened. Actually... Yeah. Imagine
when like a really bad like box computer, like
really laggy, it's like broken, and the keys
are missing. He's just scrolling really hard.
I can bust this potion. Do I explode? All right.
You said 100? Yeah. He puts a potion on the table
right in front of you. What color is it? Green.
I drink it. You drink it? Yep. After drinking
it, you feel like your senses have been sharpened.
You gain a plus one to all perception checks.
And... Yeah. Uh, for three hours. For three hours,
you have plus one to all perception checks. This
is so... great. Do I still have my horns on my
head? Uh, no. Oh, dang. I have my Lux with her
horns. Oh, yeah, it's a wall, but I forgot about
that. Screw it, I'll gamble. Pick a number one
through 100. Yay, yay, yay! Pure pressure, pure
pressure. 46. 46? Oh god. Oh, buddy. Oh, buddy.
I die. Check it. He puts a glass that is, um...
Half of it's purple, half of it's green. And
the bottle has two openings. And at the bottom,
they merge. What the... Drink both of them at
the same time. Oh, wait, you can take one half
and I can take the other half. No. Not how that
works. There is a potion like that. Do you want
to drink it? Sure. As you drink it, you feel...
Um, from the left side of your body, you feel,
uh, your skin is extremely uneasy. You feel as
you're slowly, um, splitting apart, uh, down
the middle. And, uh, you have the urge to push.
Give birth! Give birth. Am I pregnant? Um. Yeah,
yeah. You're glowing. What? Wait. Do you push?
Are you serious? I... You're not giving birth.
You're not giving birth. Okay. I was... I'm like
sitting here like... M. I would have been the
second M prank in as many TST iterations. You
know what? Sure. Alright. You see, as you're
slowly pushing, you're... You split into two.
There's two versions of you now. Are they the
same height? Like, are they the same size? Or
do they, like, shrink? Same size. Like, we have...
Hi, Malachite. Hey, Malachite. No, I control
the second one. I control the second one. Don't
even... Oh. You say hi? I want to pull up my
gun. Hi, Malachite. I will kill you! Oh my god.
Ivory, how do we know which one is the real man?
I wonder which one's real. No! Where did we,
where did we, um, where did, where did we, um,
uh, kill that one guy? At one time. Which one
guy? We, like, killed many people. We killed
him. We stabbed him. No, but, like, where? What
place? Poodle Dragon Dog! Poodle dragon dog,
yeah. You killed my dog? No! They killed my dog.
Both of them are fakers. We need to kill both
of them. Kill both of them. Now we need to figure
out who the real one is so we can murder them
for killing your dog. That's a good idea. Great.
I will say... The bartender looks at you. Uh
-oh! Snaps, and you're back. You're fixed. You're
all better. I absorbed myself. Sorry, I didn't
mean... Yeah, so... Um... Yeah, he puts a potion
on the table. You know, just an apology. I know
what this one does. He puts it on the table,
but it's two bottles that are, like, puzzle -pieced
together. tell me what this does before i drink
it well you only have to drink one of the two
you can give the second one to anyone else yeah
i mean you might not like it you might not like
it but you might you might have some fun with
it i look oh i look over i mean i think puzzle
pieces sliding together we're gonna be connected
somehow um i look over to I'm deciding who I
want this to do, who I want to do this with.
Ivory. Oh, okay. I step up to the plate then,
I guess. Do you drink it? Mal, do you want me
to drink it? I mean, he said I need to drink
one. Actually, wait, I'll just drink one. Oh,
I don't drink the other one, I guess. I mean,
it doesn't really work if the other doesn't drink
it, too. Okay, I just drink it. So you both drink
it. He's going to pull out a dagger. And he's
going to... Mal, does a 19... 21 hit your AC?
That's my exact AC. Oh, actually? Yes. Take...
5, 2... Take... Two damage. Juno, take two damage.
Ow! No! No! No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no, no, no! Oh, I just... I thought this...
So technically I was right, but in the wrong
terms. He's gonna look over at Genesis. Hey,
Genesis, you only got one potion. These other
two bozos got two. Do you want a second potion?
I want five. I can only give you up to three.
And you already had one. I want three. So you
want two more? Give me a number one through 100.
77. Okay. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11,
12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23,
24, 25. 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35,
36, 37, 38, 37. Oh yeah, you're right. 100, 99,
98, 97, 98, 97, 99, 92, 91, 90, 89, 88, 89, 88,
87, 86, 86, 88, 85, 84, 86, 82, 81, 80, 79, 78,
77. You said 77? 77. Okay. You actually got the
first non... beverage on this list. What? You
have a weapon now. Oh, cool. It is called the
Tipsy Bonk Bonk. What? It is a warhammer, but
at the end of it, it is a barrel full of alcohol.
I sent it to you. Thank you, Pinterest. It's
a warhammer. Tipsy Bonk Bonk. And you said you
wanted two more? oh yeah give me number one through
100. oh my god what is going to be the most for
you to go 50 third to middle 47 okay 1, 2, 3,
4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16,
17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28,
29, 30, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41,
42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47. You said 47, correct?
Yep. Okay. He gives you a potion. I drink. You
drink it? Yeah. You die. What? No, I'm joking.
You drink the potion, and someone ask him any
question. Do you like men? I don't talk. You
feel the urge to be un - or not the urge. uh
you have a plus 10 to all deception checks um
but you're unable to tell the truth okay i don't
talk yeah i guess that is the worst uh do the
other do you two uh one one more potion or uh
yeah sure yeah sure give me number one through
100 one at a time one at a time oh ivory go first
22. I'm Taylor Swift. Was it Taylor Swift that
sang that song? Yeah. He places down a potion
that has like wings in it. I can become a fairy
princess. I want to drink it. You sprout wings.
What? They're like white angel wings. And you
also uh you now have the ability to fail any
save saving throw you have a like a you re -roll
any failed saving throw uh for the next 24 hours
oh cool oz pick number 100 what 98 oh god oh
wait i can go backwards 198 okay oh Okay, he
hands you a weirdly shaped bottle. Drink it.
What? Sure. Okay. You drink it, and now I have
to roll a 100 -sided dice. What? Ivory, I'm so
sorry. If I die, then you die too. Okay. He hands
you a... bottle. Uh, and it looks to be a gold...
golden liquid. Uh, he looks at you. Or, no, he
doesn't give it to you. It just appears, okay?
Uh, he looks at you. Um, so, uh, you had a potion
of create potions. And it gave you this potion,
which, once thrown, It will create a sort of
firestorm wherever it is thrown. So be careful
with this. Thank you. Now, once you guys walk
out, you will be fully rested. We don't have
rooms here, I lied to you. I just wanted you
guys to participate in my game. Really? We're
jumping him, are we? Why is there a max of three
potions per person? Why is there a max of three
potions? Because there's potions like wish potion
all the way down to something like I don't know.
demonic whiskey. I take his potions. You can't
get past the counter. Are you still so disappointed
about that? I don't need to get past the counter.
Alright. Oh, also... Uh, if you guys want to
travel to any other location, I am able to bring
you there. If you'd like. Compass. Please raise
where that leads. I raise my hand and like Mjolnir,
beer flies into it. In what? I raise my hand
and like Mjolnir, beer flies into it like the
worst of the God of Thunder's hammer and I drink.
The level 10 alcoholic. This is what he multiplies
into. He's a level 7 ill -rigger and a level
25 alcoholic. What would you guys like to do?
I mean, there isn't really much for us to do
here. So you guys walk out? I have a plus 3 in
any perception check, right? Perp, can you roll
me a perception check real quick? What the fuck?
What the fuck? 15! I did you, but what? You said
15? Yep. Alright, let me roll. Alright, you notice
as you're walking out, he slips something into
your pocket. What do I notice, sir? He slips
something into your pocket as you're walking
out. Okay. Yeah. I take it out. It is a glass
ring. Holy shit. I put it on my ring finger.
It has a cork on it. It is a ring that you can
put a potion in. I didn't expect myself to get
married so quickly. I just, I... Genesis kind
of walks out with the others in shock as his
new ring is on his marriage ring finger. A finger
that's been empty since his last marriage ended
about 10 years ago. That's why he's part of the
rebellion because his ex -wife or husband, I
don't discriminate, was actually in the war.
His ex -wife. Yeah. And this is his backstory.
She left him, joined the army, and then he was
like, no, and joined the rebellion to kill her.
Me and my ex -wife made a fact out of the rebellion
when I get custody of the kids. Did you get stuck
in a basement? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then I started
to death. Him giving you the ring kind of resembled,
you know... The failed marriage between Mara
and the guy that I can't remember the name of.
Solren. Solren, yeah, yeah. Thanks for remembering.
Anyway, so you guys walk out? Yeah. As you walk
out, the tavern disappears behind you, and you
don't see it anymore. Hey, Malachite. With your
clone, I list your true thoughts. What? No! No!
We flashback to his clone being born and instantly
there's the words coming out of his mouth being,
I'M GONNA KILL YOU! That was a potion called
Rip. It split Malon to two personalities, one
being extremely evil. You just don't know which
one it was. They seemed really similar in the
way they talked and acted. I'm not too sure.
Yeah, their voices were very similar. Yeah. Okay,
buddy, I'm just going to keep my eye on you.
Even those little motions where they take their
little fingers and point it to your eyeballs
and they point back at the other person. Strangling.
I'm gonna do that, but I'm gonna squint really
hard while looking at Val. Can you imagine someone
that looks exactly like Lex Luthor? With gray
skin and giant wings on their back? Yeah, I'm
bald right now, so just imagine that, buddy.
You guys can all long rest as you walk out of
the tavern feeling completely rejuvenated. It
is daytime now. Whoa! It's just like that one
hotel in that one series where this one kid time
traveled by like 50 years or whatever because
he thought it was like a month, but it was actually
a really long time. What are you talking about?
What are you on? I don't know, guys. Potions.
Compass! What? Compass. Compass? You guys follow
the compass out of the city? You don't want to
go to any shops or anything? Oh, it's going out
of the city? Oh, yeah. Yeah, we... The city was,
like, on... I take a... I guess we can... Oh.
Okay. Um, I don't really care about going to
any shops. We can't have any of you guys want
to. Does Genesis want to? I want to sell this
weapon I just got. Oh. Yeah, that's fair. It's
not a good weapon. There's a blacksmith nearby
who looks like they would buy. Yeah, it's got
the same damage as a longsword. So it would be
nice, but it's like I'm a greatsword user and
the other two are not strength. Yeah. So you
walk up to the blacksmith, and how much are you
asking to sell for? So, this is a warhammer.
Because it is a plus one weapon, as well as having
a special ability, it would probably be either
blue or purple. It says it's uncommon. Uncommon.
Oh, it's green? How the fuck is it green? Um...
Shouldn't be green. I'm gonna sell it for a hundred.
For a hundred what? Gold. It's hilarious. You'll
buy it. Okay. I just scammed the fuck out of
this guy. You did. You did. Um, but the guy that
you sold it to is a human named Lin. And... I
mean, they're a cowardice, and you're intimidating,
so... Do you want to find a shop for potions?
Because I know you were looking for one earlier.
No, I don't... Is there anything we need? I kind
of need an alchemy pouch. We should find an alchemy
pouch. There is an alchemist a couple stalls
down and you see In the window of the building
there is in fact an alchemist pouch, but it looks
like a new new thing, you know I want to walk
in Hello Hi, um can't help but notice you got
an alchemy pouch in your window. Yeah alchemy
supply how um are you is it is it for sale um
so you're looking for the alchemy supply or is
that what it's called not is it not alchemy pouch
Oh yeah, the alchemist supplies. Whoopsies. Um,
yes! Um, how many? Um, one would be nice. Alright,
that'll be 20 gold. Oh, wow. I hand her 20. 20
Solaris. Uh, she takes the 20 Solaris and hands
you alchemist supplies. Thank you. I just got
the worst news. Mister just told me Domino has
more aura than me. She does. Bomb him. This isn't
true. Bomb everyone. Yeah, bomb him. If you bomb
the whole world, then you'd have the most aura.
She's got landowner aura. Got what? She's got
landowner aura. What is that? What? She's got
landowner aura. How? She owns land. She doesn't.
She's rich and white. I'm also white. And sovereign.
My family's also Texan. She's like rich, rich.
Yeehaw. She lives in a mansion. You don't live
in a mansion. You don't have that landowner aura.
Well, I have aura. Are you guys leaving the city?
I think so. Is there anything that we absolutely
need? Here? No. I don't think so. I'm asking
the others. Is there anything they're looking
for? No. Okay, no. There are things that would
be nice to get. Problem is... We don't have money.
So... I think I have 243 gold. I have 314, but,
like, alchemy supplies were, like, 20, so I have
no doubt that most stuff is going to be within
our budget. Especially if we're going for, like,
a full shopping pick. If only I had 5 ,000 gold,
and if only I was alive. Yeah, if only you had
grey skin, and you were big, and you were tall,
and you were muscular. Well, you are grey, actually.
Are you related? I'm kind of, like, more rocky.
Ah, okay. But we could be related. Uh, I wanna,
yeah, I don't wanna buy it. Oh, can I get my
inheritance for my dead sibling? Uh, yeah, you
get a message that says that your sibling's dead,
and then you get two Solaris. Oh my god! Oh.
Like my, not, like, not my, not, like, my, like,
like my character from my another campaign, we
look similar. Can I have my inheritance from
that character? Yeah, you get negative three
gold. No, no, my character's money on that one
was 5 ,000 gold, so could I have 5 ,000 gold?
Yeah, your inheritance is like negative 25 gold.
I'm not taking this. Yeah, they had 5 ,000 gold.
You get negative 5 ,000 gold as your inheritance.
No, I don't. No, I don't. No, I don't. Why is
he taking money from me? Can I transfer all my
money from Wasteland to... How much money do
you have in Wasteland? It's like 700 or something.
I mean, if you keep zero money in Wasteland,
if you actually transfer it, you can... I mean...
Yeah, it's 400 gold pieces. Would you genuinely...
Absolutely not. The land where Wasteland is is
not on Aetheros. Well, can I just fly over? Spaceship
it? Anyway, so you guys are done with this shopping
spree? Yes. All right. One thing. Yeah. Shopping
spree. Shopping spree. So you guys leave the
city, follow the compass. It brings you to the
next city. Is there anything that you guys want
to get there? I'm assuming no. Is that what Nova
counts as a shopping spree? Nah, this city is
different. This city is different? This city's
different. I feel it in the air. It is much smaller.
There is a lot more like... Is there any homeless
men? Yeah. Can I beat one up? No. You know what?
No. I want to beat one up. Do you guys genuinely
want to beat one up? Yes, I really should have.
That's three. Is this a genuine thing? This is
an encounter, yes. Alright, I rolled an eight.
Alright, so you go first. Do you need help here?
Yeah. This is awful. Okay. Eleven. Okay, so you
go first. You go first. Alright. Alright. I don't
know if we're actually hitting this man. Um,
he's gonna get one day ration and a cup of water.
Oh, you're gonna feed him. I don't know what
Genesis means by jumping a man, but I'm over
here going, you have food. I'm gonna Divine Smite.
Oh, okay. I give him a sandwich. The homeless
man looks up at Mal. Thank you. Thank you so
much for this. And then uses his action to eat
and drink. All of the... And then it is now Genesis'
turn. Okay. I'm going to set him on fire. Roll
to hit. He needs to make me a dexterity saving
throw. He rolled a 3. Okay. He's going to take
10 fire damage. He's already downed. He has 4
HP. You actually killed him because that is twice
his health. Okay. Is this something that you
are unironically going with? The guards are going
to show up, man. There will be... There will
be... Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I feel
it's this homeless guy that I've burned him a
lot. Okay, so a bunch of guards see you and they
make a circle around you. There's like 30 of
them. Okay. And they tell you to get on the ground.
And to put your weapons down. I'm going to use
my bonus action. To what? I'm going to use inner
flame. And I'm going to emit a dim light. Yeah.
And that's my turn for this round of initiative.
The guards wonk up to you. does a yeah that hits
does a does it like a 30 hit your ac no i'm gonna
use shield you know it doesn't it was a critical
hit um this bit is stupid exactly exactly i've
heard the homeless guy man it's so wrong what
is wrong with these guys They arrest you and
they bring you to jail. Next session, you will
be in jail. Okay. Next session, guys. Wait, no,
wait, no. I fight back. Is there anything else?
Alright, start. We killed 30 guards. I don't
think there's like... We don't really have much
stuff to buy, right? No. No. No. What the fuck?
What? No, but what the fuck was that? This? That
was from when we did... What was it called? Chronicle...
No. Magitek Colonies. What are you guys looking
at? Can we end the session? I don't feel comfortable.
He's a furry one. Nova, welcome to my side. No,
I was a werewolf in a different Minecraft server.
I think man wants to talk to you behind scenes.
So is that all you're doing in this city? Yes.
Alright, so as you guys walk out of this city,
you guys make it to the ocean and you see a person,
and that is where we will end this session, because
it's already been an hour on this one, an hour
on the last one, so I'm not... We'll pick up
with the Compass Quest next session. Yay. Yeah.
Thank you for watching this session. I'm sorry
that it was bad, guys. The players are bad. They
don't know how to play the game. This session
was great, man. This was peak. The homeless man
thing was my favorite part of it, but I mean...
Honestly, the worst part of it was Loki the neon
tabernacle thing when we went inside and drank.
Because it was just so boring, but I'm sure you'll
do that next session. Yeah, I kind of wish one
of those things were to spawn like an enemy and
to kill us. Yeah, you should use the deck of
many things. The what? The deck of many things?
Nah. That is a Pinterest board that I have for
this. It's very fun, in my opinion. Yeah, well,
that's why nobody asked. Well, okay. I hope you
guys enjoyed. Bye, guys. Say bye, guys. Say bye,
intrepid heroes. Goodbye. I don't know Japanese,
I'm late.